#anthea sykes

[quietflorilegium]

“And I’ve got a new book coming on.” Howard and Awful both groaned at this. Quentin looked at them coldly. “How else,” he said, “shall I earn your bread and peanut butter?” “You look through me and fuss about noise when you’re writing a book,” Howard explained. “And you go all grumpy and dreamy and forget to go shopping,” said Awful. “You must learn to live with it,” said their father.”

Diana Wynne Jones, "Archer's Goon"

[isfjmel-phleg]

Anthea “Awful” Sykes is a fascinating character.

At a glance, she’s the bratty and obnoxious younger sibling trope. But Diana Wynne Jones gives her a depth that most characters of this type aren’t usually afforded. Is Awful really so awful? Well, yes. But also no.

Awful is genuinely, legitimately abrasive and belligerent and that’s just her personality. I do not dispute that. But I can’t help wondering to what extent her “awfulness” is a role that has been thrust upon her. We’re told that she has been called Awful “from the moment she was born and first opened her mouth.” That’s a rather harsh label to apply to an infant, loud or not. Before she’s ever had the chance to develop her personality, she’s already been branded with this unfortunate expectation, based solely on having the audacity to be vocal as an infant. Her parents continue to reinforce this role for her as she gets older, reminding her that they find her unpleasant. “I don’t know what we did to deserve you,” her father tells her--and not in the positive sense. “I’ll give you away willingly,” he adds when she protests that she wishes she were adopted and “[n]ot boring and ordinary.” Banter of this sort is common in the Sykes family, and it’s likely that it’s meant on some kind of affectionate level, but it would be difficult to be exposed to such words from your parents your whole life and not start to internalize it. So I think it’s likely that Awful has learned to exaggerate her naturally truculent traits.

Yet there’s evidence that she feels misunderstood and wants her family’s affection. “Is Venturus selfish too? [...] I am,” she freely admits to Archer, adding after he answers in the affirmative, “Then I like Venturus best.” (This takes on another meaning once we find out who Venturus is!) Yet she becomes uncharacteristically quiet and moody when Howard accuses her of being “as selfish as [...] Torquil!” Instead of lashing back at her brother, she then goes out of her way to be “unnervingly kind to everyone,” as if “trying to prove” her unselfishness. For all of Awful’s rudeness to and taking advantage of her brother, she cares what he thinks of her and takes his criticism to heart in a way she wouldn’t from anyone else. This is not the behavior of someone who “[doesn’t] love anybody,” as she claims.

She’s drawn to Hathaway because he responds to her in the vein of what she means rather than what she says. Howard notices that despite her rudeness, “Awful liked Hathaway. She was talking to him the way she talked to Dad. She was expecting Hathaway to understand.” And indeed it is with Hathaway that she opens up enough to compare her habit of quarreling to Torquil’s: “I don’t mean it either. I wish people understood.” Between the combination of her belligerent nature and the exaggeration that has come with the role she’s accepted, she struggles to express anything in a way other than being difficult. Being Awful has allowed her natural combativeness free rein, but it has also deprived her the ability to be vulnerable. The effects of the wine she drinks at Hathaway’s house catch up to her when she returns to her own time, and intoxication opens up this hidden affectionate side of her. Yet the first words out of her mouth while drunk are “Nobody loves me!” This could be taken with a grain of salt, given her condition, but perhaps in vino veritas after all, and this is an expression of something that Awful privately feels?

There might be some support for this when the family is discussing Howard’s adoption. Awful admits that she knew already, that 

“Mum told me once when I bit her. She said she wished she could have chosen me like she chose Howard. She”--Awful had the grace to go red here--“she said she’d have chosen someone else.”

What a thing to say to one’s own child, awful or not! Perhaps we can charitably assume that Catriona said this in the heat of the moment and didn’t really mean it, but Awful has clearly taken it to heart, and it’s obvious how much this hurts her.

When Howard reproaches her for never telling him he’s adopted, she apologizes and “[hangs] her head.” Her mother didn’t want her to upset Howard, so Awful, the disobedient, the vindictive, the brutally honest, has held her tongue to avoid hurting him.

And shortly after this, her father makes his comment about willingly giving her away. Awful doesn’t see the humor in what she might ordinarily take as a teasing remark. She’s upset and continues to be for a while, even after Howard tries to appease her with the assurance that as the Sykes’s biological child she’s really descended from Hathaway. This doesn’t help, and she “relieve[s] her feelings by calling the guard names.” Her descent from Hathaway isn’t the issue here. It’s the apparent rejection by her own father, on top of the reminder of what she perceives as rejection from her mother. Despite being the child with the actual biological connection to their parents, in this moment she seems to feel as disconnected from them as if she were someone else’s child after all.

There’s so much more to her than being awful. She repeatedly proves herself intelligent and perceptive. She reads the wizard siblings better than Howard does most of the time, and she shows a keen awareness of interpersonal dynamics among the siblings, always asking questions about how they fit into the birth order. And why not? As the second child, she’s had to stay on top of how power works in the family lest she get lost in the shuffle. (Whereas Howard, as the eldest, has a more assured position in the hierarchy and doesn’t need to assert himself to get noticed, as Awful does.) And as we’ve seen, she’s capable of being more caring and affectionate than she seems.

Awful doesn’t seem to have substantially changed by the end of the book. But our perception of her has, and so has Howard’s. He’s ready to help his parents bring her up into someone who doesn’t live up to the worst of her potential (as the equally belligerent Shine has become). If he can grow up not to be Venturus (i.e. the worst version of Venturus), surely Awful too is not bound to the expectations of her nickname.

[sunlit-music]

Fanfiction on Archer’s Goon. Archer’s Goon is copyrighted to Diana Wynne Jones. I’m not making any money from this. This Fanfiction story is set after the events of the book.

Howard’s point of view. Part one.

Awful had put on a lot of weight during high school. Howard was worried that she would turn out like Shine. While Awful looked like Shine, Awful acted nothing like Shine at all. Which was a huge relief. Howard didn’t think he’d ever forget how close Shine had come to killing him and Awful when Shine had kidnapped them. He told Awful about his worry that she might turn out like Shine.

“Stupid!” She said scornfully. “I don’t want to be like Shine! Shine was horrible.”

“Thank goodness. Do you still want to farm the world?” Howard asked.

“I don’t know. The world is so complicated. People keep getting it wrong. I don’t want to farm it. But maybe it just needs help being pointed in the right direction.”

Perhaps it did. Howard knew he would have to prepare for when Erskine came back and asked Awful if she wanted to farm the world. He didn’t want to think about it now, so he looked at Awful’s sketching and tried to think of how to change the subject.

Awful kept sketching in her notepad. She was getting quite good. Howard saw she was sketching Hathaway’s home.

“That’s a really good picture. It looks just like Hathaway’s garden.” Howard said. Awful beamed. She was in such a good mood after Howard’s compliment she didn’t even put chilli or pepper in their parents’ tea.

“Let’s go visit Hathaway,” Howard said. Awful cheered. Howard liked seeing Awful this happy when she wasn’t pranking people. Hathaway seemed to be a good influence on her as she was less insulting and more kinder nowadays. Howard had an idea on what to do about the potential problem of Erskine wanting to farm the world. He liked Erskine, but he didn’t think that anyone should farm the world though. People should be allowed to live their own lives. The world was complicated and dangerous enough.

He wanted Hathaway’s advice though. Hathaway seemed to have very good ideas on solving problems. The only other sibling he could think of who had great ideas on solving problems and helping him understand his powers was Torquil.

Howard strode into the living room. He ducked his head to avoid hitting his head on the door entrance. When had he gotten so tall?

Catriona was slumped in a chair, her eyes closed. Her fingers drummed in time to the classical music she listened to on the radio. Quentin was typing away on his typewriter, mumbling something that sounded like, “Needs more words.”

“Mum? Dad?” Howard asked.

“Yes, Howard?” Catriona said affectionately. Her eyes were still closed from tiredness.

“Go on, Howard,” Quentin said, typing rapidly.

“We’re going to see Hathaway!” Awful said excitedly. Quentin and Catriona smiled.

“Do you want to come?” Howard asked.

“No, dear. I’m too tired. You go on ahead. Maybe I’ll come some other time,” Catriona said.

“My books due tomorrow, so no,” Quentin said regretfully. “I can come another time too.”

“All right. Hathaway is at the local museum. We should be back home within an hour. See you later,” Howard said. They waved goodbye at their parents, who waved back.

“Call us if you need help. Take the bus. Hathaway manages transport, so it should be safe,” said Catriona.

“I will. Bye, mum. Bye, dad,” said Howard.

To be continued.

[swissmissficrecs]

50 Best Fics of 2016

2016 may go down as a terrible year by many counts, but in terms of fics it was terrific. It was seriously hard to narrow it down but I've compiled my 50 favorites that completed posting in 2016. (Previous years' lists are here: 2013 / 2014 / 2015) AUs tend to dominate this year's picks, but there's a strong secondary showing of post-series 3 fics. Overall, lots of angst and cases, historical fiction, science fiction and magic, a bit of humor, a smattering of fluff, and even a couple of genfics this time round, but by and large it's Johnlock front and center. With what has become my standard disclaimer: There are plenty of other fics that I loved, and even more that I simply didn't get around to reading (yet), so it's not a judgment if your favorite (or one you wrote) isn't on here. Think of this as a sampling rather than a definitive list. I hope this will help you to re-acquaint yourself with fics you loved, give a chance to others you may have skipped the first time round, and possibly discover something entirely new and astonishing.

And now, in descending order of length: Watson's Folly (299313 words) by dkwilliams, Diana Williams Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Sebastian Moran/James Moriarty Summary: John Watson, the new Earl of Saughton, is madly in love with the beautiful Mary Morstan. But he has returned from the Peninsular War to find his family on the brink of ruin and his ancestral home mortgaged to the hilt. He has little choice when he is introduced to Mycroft Holmes, a civil servant of apparently unlimited wealth and no social ambitions for himself - but with his eyes firmly fixed on a suitable match for his only brother, the unorthodox and irascible Omega Sherlock Holmes. Can John forget the woman he loved and find happiness with a man so very different from his lost love? The Omega Sutra (275366 words) by Ghislainem70 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Sherlock Holmes/Original Male Character Summary: In an Omegaverse/Angels & Demons AU, Sherlock Holmes has a secret life. John Watson shouldn't want to be part of it. But they'll go through heaven and hell to keep each other. Johnlock and Mystrade caught up in the eternal battle of angels and demons for supremacy. The Case of the Green Gown (209247 words) by splix Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: ...Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone. ---Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier At Night In The Floating World (207101 words) by PoppyAlexander Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty, Molly Hooper/Greg Lestrade Summary: "Xie [...] had invented an entire pleasure-industry by combining superior visual aesthetics with impeccable personal attention. Drasha salons were by that time a feature of any even half-decent house of repose in every pleasure district in the British Isles, but once upon a time, when Xie debuted, there had been only one, and Xie had named it: the Icehouse." * Deep-cover Unity operative, the Face, finds himself drawn into the orbit of the otherworldly Xie, a world-famous "drasha" (drag+geisha) artist in a London house of repose. As a resistance plot unfolds, the secrets each of them keeps will draw them together even as they threaten to drive them apart. Modern-day dystopian/one-world government/espionage/geisha!lock AU All the Best and Brightest Creatures (188426 words) by wordstrings Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: Sherlock sent Jim Moriarty to prison for killing Carl Powers at age ten. This is the story of the consequences. Emperor Tales of the Frozen South (153593 words) by cwb Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: At the bottom of the world, two intrepid explorers make their way in the harshest of environments. An important journey must be taken, and prophecies fulfilled, but not before family meddling, political interference, and self-doubt threaten to alter the future of an entire species. If you know me at all, you know that this had to be done. A Fold in the Universe (152811 words) by darkest_bird Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Greg Lestrade/Molly Hooper, Mycroft Holmes/Anthea Summary: Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other? The Horse and his Doctor (128999 words) by khorazir Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse. October to Hogmanay (127318 words) by snorklepie Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Original Character Summary: “What are we, now?” John mused aloud, once they were in a cab heading back to Baker street. It was a cool, damp afternoon and Sherlock was studying the passers-by with detached interest. He glanced over at John with a raised eyebrow, his fingers idly worrying at one of the buttons on his coat. “Nothing seems quite right. What would you call me, if somebody asked?” John waved a hand vaguely at the space between them. “What do we call… this?” Sherlock stared at him for quite a while, his brow furrowed. John began to feel a little self conscious. The taxi lurched as they turned a sharp corner, and he flung out his arm to steady himself. Sherlock caught his wrist, and held tight. “Everything.” Sherlock said quietly, and after a moment he let go and resumed his study of the streets outside. John barely even heard the words, he said them so softly. “Everything. That’s what you are.” John stared at Sherlock’s profile against the cab window and exhaled slowly. After a long moment, he reached out and touched Sherlock’s long fingers where they were fiddling with the button on his coat. The tall man didn’t look around again, but his fingers slowly unfurled before curling deliberately around John’s hand. Against All Odds (125971 words) by ravenscar Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: When a Crusader crosses paths with an enigmatic young Briton in the Holy Land, their lives are changed forever. A Further Sea (125518 words) by i_ship_an_armada, ShinySherlock Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Molly Hooper/Janine Summary: Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose--is it a pirate's life for him? Two Halves Make the Whole (117450 words) by alexxphoenix42 Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/OC, John Watson/OC, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade Summary: Only a few months after John and Sherlock became a "we," there's Sherlock's graduation, a short summer together, then a whole year apart with John still at Hogwarts. Why is life so damn unfair? The Beginning of Knowledge (106422 words) by ancientreader Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, minor Bill Murray/John Watson, past Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty Summary: Jim's lessons are hard to unlearn. A Ritual to Read to Each Other (101463 words) by weeesi Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: After Mycroft terminated his exile but before Sherlock could escape from the infuriating plane, John and Mary were whisked away by car to an unknown location. Sherlock hasn't seen them for an entire year. He doesn't know when he'll see John again -- until one day, he does. But, of course, nothing is simple. The Breaking Wheel (93259 words) by J_Baillier Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: His immune system is decimating his nervous system - a civil war raging inside of him. Is there a reaction he's supposed to be having to this news, now? Something normal: cry, scream, pound the wall? Shake his fist at the uncaring universe? John can't stop this. An uncomfortable bed at some hospital ward isn't going to stop this. They keep telling him that this will most likely pass, but no one is answering the most important question: how will he be able to endure the uncertainty and the long wait? The Desire and Pursuit of the Whole (90997 words) by Holly Sykes Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: Britain, 1925. Sherlock Holmes – young detective, violin player and virtual misanthrope – has been hired by a mysterious and immensely wealthy man to find the missing manuscript of a contentious novel. John Watson - doctor, ex soldier and widower - is older and disillusioned. They meet on a rainy night in Sussex and from then on both their lives are changed forever. As their tentative friendship turns into a more intense relationship, Sherlock and John’s big adventure sees them end up in Venice, where the mystery is finally solved. Not Broken, Just Bent (87585 words) by Schmiezi Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Written from Sherlock's POV. If you like to see Mary as one of the good guys, you might want to stop reading right here. Sherlock, P.I. (83235 words) by Callie4180 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: For the Fall TV Sherlock fusion project. Sherlock, P.I. is an American television show that follows the exciting adventures of genius private investigator Sherlock Homes and his friends as they live their lives on the beautiful island of Oahu in Hawaii. Sherlock is a British expatriate, US citizen, and former agent for the US Naval Investigative Agency. His friends include Greg Lestrade, an ex-Navy Investigator and helicopter pilot; Molly Hooper, a former Navy Medical Examiner turned private beach club manager; and Sherlock's brother Mycroft Holmes, majordomo of the Masters Estate and well connected political and social figure. Sherlock solves crimes as he wrestles with the ghosts and demons of his past. The Song Nobody Knows (78669 words) by Laur Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Irene Adler/Harry Watson Summary: If Sherlock could take John Watson back to his cave, he would keep him alive as long as possible. He would collect rain water and sea weed and fish to feed him, and he would keep him warm with his soft feathers. In return John Watson would answer all of Sherlock’s questions. Yes, Sherlock would keep him, his own little mystery to unravel. Eventually, though, the human would die, as they always did, and Sherlock would have to eat him, like he always did. This was much more interesting. Underneath The Veil (73469 words) by Holly Sykes Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, John Watson/OMC (past) Summary: Lord Sherlock Holmes is a wealthy aristocrat who lives almost like a hermit and indulges in opium-eating and sporadic crime solving. One evening, in the throes of a drug-caused hallucination, he stumbles upon Doctor John Watson. It’s love at first sight for the still-virgin Sherlock, but he’s convinced the other man could never feel the same. When a renowned painter is killed, Sherlock convinces John to help him with the investigation and their friendship takes an unexpected turn. The Ground Beneath Your Feet (68803 words) by Chryse Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure. Another Country (67415 words) by Chryse Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: "In your case, solitary confinement is locking you up with your worst enemy." One month and three days, and what came after. The Doubtful Comforts of Human Love (61500 words) by PoppyAlexander Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: or, The Adventure of the Red Shoes. UK Ballet principal dancer Sherlock Holmes and assistant rugby coach John Watson met and fell in love as ambitious, optimistic teenagers. Twenty years on, they are entering midlife, facing the break-down of their bodies and the ending of their careers, and contemplating what the future holds for two middle-aged men forced to start over. With a frightening crisis unfolding at the Ballet, Sherlock must balance the demands of his career, his friendships, and his marriage with his own struggle against bitterness and discontent, while John takes a long-overdue glance from the outside, in, and stutter-steps toward making a kind of peace. AU - ballet!lock/rugby!john A Very Long Acquaintance (60313 words) by Kate_Lear Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: The story of a meeting, a separation, and a reunion. A Study in Spherification (58569 words) by mistyzeo Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: John Watson has been out of work for eighteen months after his last restaurant, Fifth Northumberland, burned to the ground in a kitchen accident. He's more than ready for a new project, but who wants to open a restaurant with a washed up celebrity chef who can't even hold a knife anymore? Lunar Landscapes (57045 words) by J_Baillier Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac. Wars We Fought, Things We're Not (55064 words) by blueink3 Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: “Oh come, John. Could be fun,” Mycroft taunts, accompanied by an eyebrow arch he’s gotten far too good at. “Besides, it’s not as if it’s your first time pretending to be a couple.” Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for. Tarmac (54858 words) by whatdoyoumeanionlygetoneotp Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, John Watson/Mary Morstan Summary: That's the thing about secrets, they tend to weigh an awful lot. Little secrets and little lies are nothing we can't carry, a few extra quid in your pocket. But big secrets, real secrets, the things that prey on you – those turn you into Atlas. He feels those three little words like bile at the back of his throat, corrosive. He doesn't say them. A fix-it starting from the end of hlv and ending up with a johnlock/parentlock situation. A whole lot of angst and pining in between. First-order Idiots (54565 words) by weweretold Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Molly Hooper/Greg Lestrade, James Sholto/John Watson Summary: At a conference, Sherlock Holmes, researcher in deductive reasoning at St. Bartholomew College of Engineering, meets John Watson, military robotics researcher at Polytechnical University of Kabul. "We’ve only just met and we’re going to work on a research grant proposal together?” “Problem?” Anchor Point (49841 words) by trickybonmot Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story. Inscrutable to the Last (48843 words) by DiscordantWords Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them. Giving All (46410 words) by BakerTumblings Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: Not that long ago, Sherlock had said, "Mary and John: whatever it takes, whatever happens, from now on I swear I will always be there, always, for all three of you." He is keeping his vow. Following a catastrophic auto accident, John has been holding vigil at the hospital, where Mary is comatose in the ICU, and his premature daughter lies in the NICU. Sherlock is a constant presence at his side as John navigates a difficult situation and finds support in their friendship in solid, dependable ways. Out of great difficulties can bloom tiny wildflowers of hope. The hard situations in life can show the true strength of a person, and of a friendship. Sometimes, great loss is necessary before true love can emerge to be fully appreciated. Your Perfect Offering (44551 words) by CaitlinFairchild Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: “Sherlock,” John continues, careful and quiet. “I’ve seen your back. I know you were hurt. I don’t want to pry, I don’t want to cause you discomfort but...I’m starting to think something else happened there. In Serbia.” Sherlock rolls away and sits up on the edge of the bed, his back to John. “A great many things happened in Serbia,” he says, flat and remote. “None of them were pleasant.” The Seafarer; or, A Question of Time (40573 words) by DoubleNegative Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: “Put two ships in the open sea, without wind or tide, and, at last, they will come together. Throw two planets into space, and they will fall one on the other. Place two enemies in the midst of a crowd, and they will inevitably meet; it is a fatality, a question of time, that is all.” - Jules Verne The Indian Ocean, 1880: John H. Watson, MD, meets Sherlock Holmes and is deduced. Smile Like A Paper Cut (37708 words) by J_Baillier Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson Summary: Many serial killers are capable of leading outwardly normal lives, hiding in plain sight as husbands, wives, scout leaders, doctors, policemen, soldiers and employers. What if Sherlock is one of them? And what if John discovers his secret? Captains of Industry (37135 words) by 221b_hound Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Sally Donovan/Molly Hooper Summary: Captains of Industry is the most hipster of Melbourne hipster cafes. It's bespoke suits, artisan shoes, sculpted facial hair and the most exquisite food and coffee all the way. Sherlock Holmes, Digital Security Consultant, has become a regular patron. And one day, perhaps one day soon, he will work out how to successfully flirt with the hot barista, John Watson. Leveling Up (36961 words) by philalethia Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: John plays video games, Sherlock writes a guide on GameFAQs, and they get on quite well together... eventually. Told entirely through emails, text messages, and voice chats. The Boy Who Drank Stars (36191 words) by kinklock Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.” Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all The Missing Piece (35769 words) by suitesamba Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, John Watson/Mary Morstan Summary: After Sherlock’s suicide, John struggles to understand exactly what Sherlock was to him, and why he is mourning so deeply and wholly. He accepts help from an unwanted source, and in time is able to reconcile his feelings and move on to love again - just in time for Sherlock to reappear, awakening in John all the old feelings, but this time, the missing piece of the puzzle as well, the one he’d been unconsciously suppressing before the fall. To complicate matters, he’s got a relationship that’s actually working, a wedding to plan, a bright future ahead of him rather like the one he dreamed of before Afghanistan. Before Sherlock. John has learned a lot about love in the years Sherlock’s been gone. The question is - how much has Sherlock learned? The Blue Light (31381 words) by Lorelei_Lee Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & Jim Moriarty, Sebastian Moran & Jim Moriarty Summary: Moriarty abducts Sherlock several times in a row, bringing him to a secret location where his victim is at his mercy. Thanks to a special drug cocktail, Sherlock has no memory of the abductions. But he begins acting strangely back home. So strangely that John finally notices... Heartaches By The Number - Compilation (30651 words) by iriswallpaper Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: The London Sherlock returns to after his ‘resurrection’ is vastly different than what he’d expected. But he isn’t going to let that stop him from pursuing his old life, including John Watson. John’s engaged to a lovely nurse and has everything he thought he ever wanted. Then why can’t he stay out of his best friend’s bed? Mountebank (26514 words) by Odamaki Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: “I am calm,” John snaps, leaning on the door to glare out at the dark streets around them. Sherlock’s not said where they’re going; all he knows is they came off the ring road to the west of London and have vanished somewhere into the depths of Berkshire. All he knows is that he’s been trussed up in a suit that wasn’t hired from anywhere and if brought new would edge up into the triple figure margins. “Be calmer,” Sherlock advises, with a trace of irony. “We’re going to a party.” Building Jerusalem (26426 words) by ampersand_ch Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: John finds out that Sherlock has more secrets from him than he ever imagined. The discovery threatens to destroy their relationship. the napoleon (24859 words) by darcylindbergh Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: Halloween, 1989: John and Sherlock both have big plans for the night, but some serial killers have the worst possible timing. Prince with a Thousand Enemies (21088 words) by DiscordantWords Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Summary: There's a rabbit in the nursery. John isn't getting any texts. The Holiday (18962 words) by Scriblit Rating: Mature Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Mrs. Hudson, Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper, Mary Morstan, ACD Canon Characters Summary: A month following an horrific, sadistic attack during a case, Sherlock is still physically incapacitated and emotionally damaged. A holiday is suggested, but even stuck out in the middle of nowhere, he and John happen upon a case that could make Sherlock begin to feel like his old self again - or could kill him. BBC Sherlock Reworking of ACD's Devil's Foot, with Illustrious Client in flashbacks. Scenes of violence and implied "off screen" sexual violence/sexual assault. In Need of Quiet Affection and Gentle Words (16972 words) by kinklock Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: After John's girlfriend (of sorts) sends him an online sex guide, John finds himself more intrigued by the guide's author than anything his girlfriend might have had in mind. The Last Case of Dr. John Watson (14468 words) by Susan Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: If he really had less than twenty-four hours to live, was it too much to ask that it be sunny? Being poisoned and soaked to the skin on the same day seemed to John a bit of cosmic overkill. Sherlock's only hope of saving John is finding the antidote before it's too late. But where does he start? Coming of Age (13313 words) by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: It’s not easy growing up when your father is best friends with Sherlock Holmes. It’s even harder when you stumble across their secret. Oh, What a Night (Comic) by penumbra Rating: Mature Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Summary: John and Sherlock go on a date. Hilarity, kissing, and egregious amounts of fluff ensue.

[isfjmel-phleg]

Side effect of having been an English major: everything around here has to turn into a dashed essay. 

I could simply tell you guys that I think Anthea “Awful” Sykes is a fascinating character and that Jones gives her surprising depth, but no, it’s got to be a multi-paragraph explanation with quotes and the need to Get One’s “Thoughts” Together (which takes approximately a decade per sentence) and general Ordealness. 

Good night, everyone. Stay tuned for coming attractions. Maybe.