#any feedback is always appreciated

[bugoutreviewgirlie]

hey all! this is an ongoing passion project of mine and it'd mean an incredible amount to me if you guys checked it out and shared it!

[deadtiredghost]

my 07 series as abstract memes:

[canisalbus]

I'm sure you get loads of these but heck I said I'd give it a shot anyway!

Your artwork is so inspiring and beautiful. I recently graduated from art school with a degree in Animation Production but I've decided I'd love to be an illustrator some day. Your work really motivates me and gets my brain juice buzzin. Keep it up!!!

.

[synthwayve]

Many Laurences! Playing around with my designs for him and trying to settle on one. Please let me know which one looks best, I’m curious 👀 Color alternates of Pg 1 below the cut because indecisiveness:

[zepandovski]

trying a new style, i knew i was going to get tired trying to replicate the sonic style and was getting so stressed when i would draw the muzzles and eyes that i just stopped and went with my comfort zone... and ngl, i quite liked IUHAIFDSUA

idk about u guys, should i start drawing with this style? it was pretty fun to me doing these doodles :D

[nauti-ca]

let me shake your hand, my friend

a johnarthur malevolent playlist

[basu-shokikita]

Skwistokface fic is finally posted! I think they're a highly underrated trio so I took it upon myself to write some. Totally not inspired by my talks with friends about this concept. 🤭

It's highly explicit so check the warnings before reading!

[backfliips]

Pros: people really like my latest wyllstarion smut fanfiction and are giving it a lot of kudos

Cons: it's rapidly catching up to and will soon overtake the kudos on the serious slow burn wyllstarion novel I wrote that took me 5 months to write versus the smut fic I wrote in 4 days

[sexymanxisuma]

eyllo peeps ^-^

with the knowledge that xisuma has signed up for the next mcc and may be in more mcc events, would you peeps rather me do updates in seperate posts like i did on saturday, or would you rather i just reblog one post with new updates?

[the-agent-of-blight]

Aromanticism in Academic Papers (day 6)

Today is day 6 of my ASAW 2024 project to summarize a new academic paper focusing on aromanticism to some level each day!

Today's paper is: Sexuality, romantic orientation, and masculinity: Men as underrepresented in asexual and aromantic communities by Hannah Tessler and Canton Winer (2023) [stable link]

I'm going to be honest upfront. This paper is my favorite paper i've come across in this research process. It genuinely made me cry the first time I read it because of how well the experiences i've felt were represented and discussed in this setting.

This paper examines men as a minority group within the aro and ace communities, a claim backed up by the data from the 2020 Asexual Community Survey and 2020 Aromantic Census which respectively had 11% and 8% of their respondents be men. (women had response rates of 48% and 33%, and Other had a response rate of 41% and 60% respectively). The study's goal is to understand why this is the case.

The literature review of this paper focuses primarily on establishing how romantic and sexual attraction end up becoming gendered, with men receiving social capital from having sex with many women, while women gain status from forming a stable romantic partnership with a man. The cultural narrative of "Men want sex and women want love." is an excellent example of how different attractions become gendered. It has been hypothesized that men are often hesitant to identify as asexual because of the societal expectation of sexual voracity. In the world of romance, men are often also expected to "make the first move" and form romantic partnerships which is an important part to other masculinties.

The authors conducted several interviews with aromantic and/or asexual men to help come to an understanding of how men perform masculinity in a world focused on sex and romance. Many interviewers discussed how though men can get more leeway to deprioritize romance, aromantic men still must face "the burden of gendered expectations" that men should be "perusing" a romantic relationship. Interviewees mentioned other forms of emotionally intimate relationships such as qprs or close friendships as their preferred relationship. AroAllos face a unique issue of attempting to approach relationships that could become sexual without being percieved as a "player" or "fuckboy". To construct a hegemonic masculinity, you need (hetero)sexuality and romantic relationship formation, and for many aromantic and ace men, that is not possible.

Tessler and Winer stress that centering the aromantic and asexual spectra will significantly advance sociology around sexuality, gender, and family. I personally hope to see some future papers fulfill that charge to the academic community.

Ultimately this paper finds that men are a demographic minority in the aro ace communities, and explores themes around the interaction between the masculinity of aro/ace men and hegemonic masculinity. As Tessler and Winer put it, "Asexuality and Aromanticism both exist in tension with hegemonic masculinity. This contrasts with narratives that imply that sex is enherent to hegemonic masculnity while romance is inherent to emphasized femininity." The authors theorize that men may be less likely to become aware of aromanticism because of the gendered nature of asexual identification (since many people only hear of aromanticism as a result of learning about asexuality). So, though men can face less pressure to participate in romance, participate in romance we must to fall within hegemonic gender roles.

[link to day 7]

[leejeongz]

Maybe don’t write for a group where you don’t see them all in that way then because is sooo obvious 😭

maybe don’t read them then 😟

[junkissed]

Oh my god, I don't even have the words to describe how I feel after reading your latest fic.

Just the setting and the ambiance of the beginning and then the reader being not a big big party person. (By the way, was the party organized by Jackson or not???) (sorry....) And then they go to the beach and they just... They fall right into JUUUNNN???? Where can this happen to me too??? I wanna know

Then, just like always your smutty parts are the best. You just have a way of telling them that makes the reader really visualize it. Or even feel it?? (if that makes sense) Like I don't know if this makes a lot of sense but it was just so fluffy in a way. They didn't even need to exchange words for the most part (they only spoke for consent I think) like if they did understant each other perfectly even thought they just met and AAAAAAAAH I stop here okay And even after that !!! The aftercare I just.... My stomach made full loops at how soft and gentle that was. I swear I don't know how you do that but reading your fics is always something that gives me butterfliessss (Sorry it sounds a bit cliché but... It's true...).

But... when they needed to part ways, I was kind of sad... I did a total change of mood in 10 seconds. AND THEN the end ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THEY FINALLY EXCHANGE NAMES !!!! (yes, i did scream in hapiness at that)

And hum... I'm going to stop here because I could continue to ramble about how much I loved this and how much I just adore your way of writing things. Sorry if I spoke too much... I was really looking forward to your new fic and you really didn't disappoint !

I hope you have a really good day and sorry again for rambling too much. Sending you lots of love and support !!!

no i appreciate you so so much thank you for rambling!!! if nobody ever sent asks like these then i would never know how ppl felt 😭 it really means sooo much and it makes me want to keep writing for the lovely ppl like you who let me know you liked reading my work💗

honestly the reason why i didn't have them speak very much during the smut was because they didn't know each others' names and i didn't know how to write it without mentioning names nsdhfksj lmao. but i'm so happy you enjoyed that part!! the smut is the hardest part for me to write because i feel like it gets too repetitive and i run out of ways to describe it so i end up cutting it short :/

also, the bachelorette party was hosted by mingyu & his bride so technically not jackson butttt... that doesn't mean he wasn't invited 🫢 that's open to interpretation hehe

(also i posted another little blurb about what happens after the end of the fic, if you wanna read it's here :))

[taegularities]

…about cmi10 :')

[archesa]

From the past, with all my love - 1335 AE

Dust had gathered in the study, a thin silver lining veiling the furniture and golden specks twirling like snow in the sun filtering through the frosted windows.

A shroud of salt and rust stained the glass and the cascade of fire orchids falling from the heights of the greenhouse onto the side of the fort had rained a storm of withering petals on their courtyard where Trahearne had summoned minions to help him beat the rugs and pillows – a flesh and vines golem repeatedly charging a carpet hanging on the low branches of a plum tree.

In the meantime Anwen dusted the furniture Trahearne had omitted to cover before his hasty departure for Cantha – most of them, really, but how could she blame him – and used this opportunity to declutter and reorganise their quarters.

Their desks in particular required some attention. A pile of heavy leather-bound volumes on magical theory and the dragon cycle were stranded there – vestiges from a time just passed – in the midst of Trahearne's own research on the quaggan and largos' exile from the depths – recently proved not to be owed to the elder dragon of the abyss.

She scoured the notes and slipped them in the escritoire, the familiar scent of parchment and ink filling her lungs and welcoming her with a sense of belonging. Under the canopy of glass and metal, in the shade of orchids and wisteria, lulled by the sound of waves breaking on the fort, she was home.

The stationary barely fit the cylinder desk. Her curiosity piqued, she pulled the escritoire from the drawer, a bundle of letters neatly wrapped with a gold and sapphire blue ribbon, falling on her lap, from the depths of the secretary.

She stared, awestruck, as her own writing spread endlessly on the page – deep blue ink and never sealed messages she had long thought lost and regretted she never sent.

And here they were. Every single one of them – most unfinished, as she had left them, dated from 1325 to 1327.

Dearest friend,

An eternity it seems passed since we last met.

I hope life in Orr is treating you well, and that your duties to Pact allow you some respite.

I am writing from Lion's Arch, on my way to the Black Citadel at Tribune Brimstone's request. Assistance with the constant afflux of refugees from northern Ascalon.

The city is the same as ever but the sight of Claw Island, in the distance, beyond the bay, gives perspective to these last months. So much happened in so little time that neither of us really took the time to process.

I expect our business in the Citadel will conclude shortly – after Zhaïtan, what threat could be so hard to dispose of – and if you so agree, I shall bring you my transfer request for Caer Aval in person within a fortnight.

Yours truly,

Anwen Evergreen

PS : Meryw sends her love!

Dearest friend,

Our business in the Citadel it seems will require my attention longer than I originally planned.

The Dredges and the Flame Legion have formed an alliance and they harass these people endlessly. The Imperators seem helpless to deal with their guerilla – hit and run, scorched land – methods.

I took the liberty to offer the Pact's assistance – even if said assistance was then limited to Meryw and I – and assumed coordination of the agents and vigils already mustered there.

Dearest friend,

My sincerest apologies for not writing sooner.

Since Wintersday the days have grown, and yet they're still too short.

I hope you know you are on my mind-

A celebration of the Pact's victory is to be held in Lion's Arch in a fortnight. I dare hope our paths will meet there. I have so much to tell you. I realise now that you probably received a good dozen reports on the events that kept me in Central Tyria but–

Dearest friend,

I must once again delay my coming to Orr.

Captain Theo Ashford, who was killed during the attack, was a close friend of Logan Thackeray's. He asked me as a personal favour to assist the investigators – a detective of the Reach by the name Marjory Delaqua.

I am to meet her and her assistant – a friend of my brother, from the Academy, it's a small world! - in Lion's Arch today for further investigation of the crime scene.

I hope we can find the culprit shortly and I will then be free to officially file my transfer request to Orr.

I long to see Caer Aval again, and I cannot wait to offer my meager gardening talents to the restoration of the isles.

Yours truly,

Your friend, Anwen Evergreen

Dearest friend,

I wish to reiterate my family's thanks for your kind words and well wishes.

My brother is, I believe, on the verge of recovery as this misadventure did not even harm the most prominent part of his person : his ego is unfortunately unscathed. He seems more concerned by the ladies who witnessed his heroism than the healer's orders. And I worry for Meryw who must now endure him for the fortnight – and who definitely does not seem as annoyed as I had expected at the prospect of spending two weeks at the manor with Faren. I dread to think of the influence he might have on her! For all the love I have for my brother, I fear the world cannot endure another like him!

As for Scarlet Briar – or Ceara as she was once called – her motivations are still elusive... Chaos? Perhaps. But I fear there is more to her assault in the Reach – on the Queen's Jubilee – than most would deem.

The Shining Blade and the Seraph see no further than the immediate threat on the crown and Kryta. And the Arcane Council envoy dismissed her actions as a madwoman errance. But I have rarely met such a conflated ego – even for an asura! – and never seen Meryw have such a strong immediate dislike for someone, and though she remains tight-lipped on her reasons, I trust her judgement. Emissary Vorpp might be a brilliant dynamist but his expertise on the intricacies of the mind seem shallow at best.

But I digress.

These recent developments, I fear, will keep me in Kryta yet again.

Until we meet again, I remain yours truly,

Your friend, Anwen Evergreen

I killed you. Scarlet made me see this, made me do this. I know it was just a hallucination – just a nightmare but I see you every time I close my eyes, I feel your blood on my hands and your head on my shoulder as you breath your last.

Meryw saw Sieran.

Scarlet... This toxin showed us a glimpse of our subconscious, a place I hope my darkest nightmares will never wander back to... Every one of us peered into our deepest fear.

Mine is a world without you.

Dearest friend,

I hope this letter finds you well. I can barely believe it has been a year since last we met. I never expected

Caer Aval must be quite tranquil with the arrival of winter. If your duty allows, I would be honoured happy delighted honoured to have you as my guest for Wintersday.

The winter fêtes of the Faren house are famed for the brightness of their illuminations and the sweetness of their spirits.

If it so pleases you, we could avoid the crowds together.

Merry Wintersday, dear friend.

Letter after letter, she revisited this distant past – two or three lifetimes ago, it seemed – until the familiar sound of footsteps interrupted her.

Trahearne froze on the threshold, seeing her sat on the floor, the letters scattered around her and on her lap.

"You had them... I never sent them, and I thought they were lost forever, how...?"

"Meryw."

She stifled a breathless laugh.

Of course!

If there were anyone she could trust had innocent – or at least unequivocally good – intentions sending her correspondence, it was her shield-maiden.

"She wrote a few words with every unsent message, telling me of the unlikely places she had found the letters – blaming your distraction, your forgetfulness."

"I was busy...", Anwen smiled apologetically.

"I had noticed.", Trahearne chuckled. "These letters offered me a glimpse of you – stories I dared hope you would one day share with me."

"And... did I live up to your expectations?"

He laughed and knelt by her side, considering a moment everything they had been through these past ten years, the promise of tranquility after a decade – a lifetime in his case – of constant crisis almost too painfully sweet to believe.

"Our life together surpasses everything I could have imagined."

She leaned in his embrace, a content hum rumbling in her chest as she rested her head against him.

"Rereading those...", she sighed, "I realise how far we've come... and how close I have been from seeing my nightmare come true."

"A second Faren!", Trahearne breathed, in exaggerated horror. "Meryw is immune, but I believe Canach is a good contender..."

Her laughter filled the room with light and his heart with joy.

With the secondborn returned to Tyria to flaunt his success around the most elitists salons – and incidentally find more patrons to finance the Friends' Detective Agency – and Meryw recently recruited for the preparation of the wedding – and as such not-so-reluctantly entangled in the procession of bridesmaids counting in their ranks the oldest friend of Kasmeer, it seemed their orchard had succumbed to the gravitational attraction of Anwen's brother. And, most alarmingly, did not seem to complain!

He felt rather than heard her breath catch, a tremor in the quiet rise and fall of her chest against his.

“Dearheart?”

He reluctantly broke their embrace, a sinking feeling settling in his chest when he noticed her eyes glistening in the faint light. She blinked rapidly, a broken sob shattering on her lips.

"Anwen, what troubles you?"

“Sorry, I– I'm fine. Don't worry, I– I don't know why–...”

“It's alright.”, he murmured, tenderly holding her while she cried and leaned in his touch when he dried her tears.

“I'm so tired, Trahearne..."

It was a simple admission, but it was a relief.

"I... I think it's the first time since these letters that I cannot see further than the next step."

After they defeated Zhaïtan, she had naively believed there would be peace. They had defeated a dragon awakened for over a century and Trahearne had shattered its hold on the land it corrupted. Hopefully, the others wouldn't wake for a few centuries. And if she knew they would eventually bring the fight to Kralkatorrikk she had secretly hoped, since it was as good as dormant since Glint's death, that it would have taken years - time enough for the Pact to gather intel and reform an army to instill fear in the heart of an Elder Dragon. She had hoped...

"I... wanted nothing more than to spend all my time here, with you. And now we're finally there, now we can finally rest, I'm... ruining it."

"You're not ruining anything...", he breathed, tightening his embrace and resting his forehead against hers.

He knew this feeling. After the completion of his wyld-hunt he had felt… Bereft. Helpless. Forlorn. The great purpose of his life was complete and in its absence only remained emptiness and aching.

"Anwen, you're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to be sad because this chapter of our lives is over and relieved there is not battles left to fight. You're allowed to be unsure about the future and elated by what's to come. You're allowed to regret, to be proud of what you have accomplished."

"I'm– I just want to rest... with you."

"We rest, then.", he said softly.

She nodded feebly, a yelp stuck in her throat when he lifted her off the floor and carried her to the sofa nearby. A breathless chuckle broke on her lips, dispelling the shadow looming over them.

"I shall brew us some tea.", he offered, leaning forth to grab the nearest bundle of letters and laying it on the cushion beside her. "The one we brought from Seitung Province?"

"Would be perfect.", she smiled, the bitterness of nostalgia fading at the mere memory of the scent and aroma of white tea and sweet summer peaches.

Trahearne tenderly replaced a stray lock behind her ear and leaned in to lay a kiss on her cheek.

"Rest easy, Anwen. I'll take it from here."

(special thanks to @your-toxic-cat-universe for this beautiful piece! )

[culmaer-sideblog]

so searching for a new job is about as much fun as you can imagine.

the main issue I'm running into is that most positions are offering substantially less than I currently earn, which I feel is already too low for a decent life in this city so less is unacceptable. and other positions I find intriguing require at least a masters degree. and fair enough, they're looking for specialists, and at least on paper, I am not

I never did a masters because my degree in International Relations was depressing and disillusioning and I didn't want to continue in that field. instead I started over and did a second bachelors in French, which was fun. And so the thing is, if I go back to uni now (besides the enormous expense that would be) I'm not going to do an MA in IR, that would be insane. and I feel like French was fun but....not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. So I will have to pivot again !!! although, I could *in theory* start again at honours level (i.e. 1 year before entry to masters) rather than starting a whole new BA from scratch. and then proceed into a masters in curating and archival studies from there. in theory.

I was kind of panicking when I started writing this post. but the above now seems like a fairly reasonable plan. the only thing is the cost of studying (South Africa is like the US in this sense. education is expensive) and the fact that while studying I could only work part-time at best,, and I've become so accustomed to having an income so that might not be fun

but like, what are my other options realistically ? do I just keep looking for work and hope something decent turns up ? I mean, i don't technically need to enjoy my work, I just need to be good at it and use the income to fund hobbies and joy in my private life. so I could just take any position. or should I actually start over from scratch, academically, to ensure I really do have a solid theoretical basis ? but then I could pick any field, not just one I can easily pivot to. although that will be a financial risk, so maybe not that. and part of me just wants to make art, like, should I keep taking short-courses and workshops, rather than investing in another formal degree ? practical experience is valuable too right ?