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provincianx-blog · 6 years

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what i learned from unlearning everything that i know

lessons from middle school, aurora, and beyond.

at the age of fifteen, my mom forced my brother and me to leave our home in hayward, ca upon discovering that my dad had been using meth again and wasting all of his money on catfishes on the internet.

my mom and dad had been separated for longer than my brother and I were aware of, but my mom finally had the courage to really leave him in july of 2011. she loved him her entire life, but she was done taking care of someone that wasn’t taking care of her. she was done taking care of someone who didn’t love her enough to take care of himself. she was done.

while this seems incredibly simple, leaving hayward prompted what would turn into a 7 year identity crisis.

as an outcast at every school i transferred to, i found a community on this website with my best friends from middle school and random strangers who loved harry potter and other fandoms as ridiculously as we did. true commitment to friendship would transcend from anonymous messages on tumblr to mutual follows on twitter. and here we are: in the age of twitter.

upon switching up different meds, after over a decade of looking for mental and emotional stability, i found out that i have bipolar-1, which still doesn’t make that much sense to me, but i’m beginning to understand it more than i did before.

i’m grateful to have been obsessed with star wars when i first saw revenge of the sith on opening night because of my tita and her husband’s work perks. i loved padme and she was my first crush but also my first example of a strong girl in mainstream film in addition to mulan (bruh i used my mulan costume for like 3 years and never gave a single HECK). i would then beg my dad to take me to blockbuster to watch the original trilogy, where i met carrie fisher/princess leia, who would radically transform how i saw the world and myself.

i grew up with my tita and tito. they took care of me when they were in college, and they’re still taking care of me now. i want to be able to take care of their kids and love them as much as they loved me growing up. i love them with all that i am and all that i can give.

i studied politics because i wanted to make sure that my younger cousins and my baby brother would have a better world to grow up in than i did. it seems that my undiagnosed mental illness of nearly 14 years has been exacerbated by the political climate we live in today in 2018.

i learned so much about life by learning about my own history, and i hope that everyone has this opportunity in their lifetime. it feels great, and the only one who seems to really get it is ariana grande.

so here are 14 things i learned from being mentally ill and emo while being passionate about wanting to make the world a better and more habitable place.

1. don’t trust the feds: a lot of 2nd amendment boys actually don’t trust the government as much as people think, and the 2A comes from settlers’ distrust in colonial Britain. the problems we see today are because the GOP has lured these same people and their kids (and their kids) into their corner by advocating for organizations like the NRA; gun control has reached the Supreme Court, but the 2nd amendment took precedent (i believe). gun control must come from the state and local governments, but political participation in these arenas are very low, especially for younger voters. i, as someone who has been involuntarily hospitalized despite voluntarily seeking medical help, am not allowed to buy a gun in the state of california for 5 years. and honestly, i really don’t care because i don’t want to need a gun anyway, but the poor and the middle class in the south feels that they need guns.

2. stay woke: deray said this nearly everyday after michael brown was shot by darren wilson in ferguson, missouri. michael brown was my wake up call to reassess my complacency in the status quo and my participation in reinforcing anti-blackness. in the bay area, the n word was used so casually in places like union city/hayward that we became so desensitized to it. it’s still used casually, but non-black people like myself have no agency in saying it because we’re not black. it’s as simple as that. i began noticing how my family reacted to what would turn into the Black Lives Matter movement, and for the first time, i felt that i could no longer trust my relatives if they were complicit in the murders of black youth simply because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. i couldn’t even talk to them without crying because of how upset i got from the anti-blackness i would hear. i began to isolate myself and found community on twitter.

3. our youth is a reflection of how good things were and how good things can become if we learn to build community: in addition to the community i found on tumblr through avatar, harry potter, and the beatles, i found community with all the losers who had xbox’s instead of ps3′s. we would hang out and play search and destroy (which i still cannot succeed in after all this time smh agjhgarhdfhre) or 1v1 each other on rust. my nerd friends would let my brother and I play with them regardless of how much we sucked, and they hyped me up even when my KDR was trash. these friendships would then transcend from mw2, halo 3, and into runescape. my brother is now really good at overwatch, and the friends i made in middle school are also really good at overwatch. the difference now is that they’re making money off of it, and i’m just like, “let’s get this bread, nerds!” thank you for being there for me even though i sucked at everything i tried doing. i was reminded of this when i watched “mid90s” by Jonah Hill. our youth was such a pure period of time, but it was also the time we lost ourselves through imposing harmful social norms onto each other, such as the idea that a girl cannot be “just friends” with a boy. but - here’s the kicker - i’m queer, and i don’t really like cis-het men hahahahahahahahaha but whatever.

4. becoming american made me forget who i am: our immigrant parents teach us that the only way is to assimilate into white America, which is essentially what happened to black and brown people following the civil rights movement. the notion of egalitarianism/equality has been nothing but harmful for all of us nonetheless, fueling debates on affirmative action and pitting black people against asian people. one of my best friends from elementary school is in prison for trying to make a living with the resources and skills made available to him. he was apprehended in thousand oaks. he is a black man, and we grew up in the same environment, but his life has been so different since we were in elementary school. the concept of equality/egalitarianism stemming from civil war gains (13th-15th amendments) has manifested into the racial inequality we see today; in other words, the idea that white americans and POC are equal has been harmful because this has never been true and continues to be untrue. my filipino friends and i would get bullied by white latinos for not speaking english in america, which is why i learned to hate myself and my culture. i love myself and my culture, and i am fighting so that i can return home to the philippines someday.

5. our bodies are different, and that’s okay: can y’all believe that i got bullied for not having boobs in the 3rd grade? this is what happens when young girls are sexualized so early. boys participate in this, and they turn out to be shitty boyfriends later on. girls will be girls. girls just wanna be treated like human beings instead of sexual objects. i don’t think this needs to be explained further.

6. america is a settler-colonial state turned global power, and that is problematic: this country began with the murders and deaths of indigenous people because of imperalistic pursuits. it was built on the backs of slave labor from africa. it was reinforced by colonialism through the conquering of countries such as the philippines. we’re socialized to believe that there’s no place like america and that america is such a good place to be in, but that is only true for white Americans and POC who have integrated into white American suburbs.

7. know history, know self: - jose rizal

8. if my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true, and that is unacceptable - carrie f. fisher

9. at times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of - carrie f. fisher

10. rebellions are built on hope - princess/general leia organa + jyn erso

11. we have nothing to lose but our chains - assata shakur

12. keep ya head up - tupac shakur

13. everything i’m not made me everything i am - kanye west

14. i remember you was conflicted

misusing your influence

sometimes i did the same

abusing my power full of resentment

resentment that turned into a deep depression

found myself screaming in the hotel room

i didn’t wanna self destruct

the evils of lucy was all around me

so i went running for answers

until i came home

but that didn’t stop survivor’s guilt

going back and forth trying to convince myself the stripes i earned

or maybe how a-1 my foundation was

but while my loved ones was fighting the continuous war back in the city

i was entering a new one

a war that was based on apartheid and discrimination

made me wanna go back to the city and tell the homies what i learned

the word was respect

just because you wore a different gang color than mine’s

doesn’t mean i can’t respect you as a black man

forgetting all the pain and hurt we caused each other in these streets

if i respect you, we unify and stop the enemy from killing us

but i don’t know, i’m no mortal man

- kendrick lamar

#star wars #fandoms #reflection #politics #writing

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filmreviewsbyanidiot · 5 years

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An Idiots Top 10 Films Of 2019

Oh hello. Lovely to be back on this blog. I was last here reviewing Slender Man in September 2018. Let me tell you, Slender Man will not be appearing in this list. Because it wasn’t released in 2019 and also it’s absolute shite. Also not on the list is Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse because it came out in the UK last year. The rest all came out in the UK this year. If you’re interested, it would have been number 2 if I had included it because it’s absolutely incredible. Thank you. As Bloc Party sang: so here we are. It’s the end of 2019 and I’ve seen some films and now I’m going to talk about them as if I’m at all qualified to tell you which ones were good. Imagine that. No need. Here we go! NUMBER 10 - Judy (Rupert Goold) This entire order is going to be wrong because I don’t have the time to sit and put them in the perfect order, I am a busy boy. Get off my case. Anyway, Judy! I love a biopic and I’m a homosexual man that likes the arts. So a Judy Garland biopic is very much up my Straße. She was a wonderfully messed up and fabulous woman. So tragic. So beautiful. So fascinating. I think this film does a really great job of showing all of that. Renee Zellwegar is a perfect casting, she really does Judy justice (working title for Judge Judy). NUMBER 9 - Pain and Glory (Pedro Almodóvar) Quite surprised this made it into the list but here it is. It’s a really beautiful film. Antonio Banderas is quite phenomenal in it and deserves the Oscar buzz he’s getting. It’s a captivating performance. One of the better depictions of addiction I’ve seen. It’s heartbreaking, funny, moving and you never get bored despite nothing huge happening. It’s a character study and it’s brilliant. NUMBER 8 - Green Book (Peter Farrelly) Uh oh. I’ve gone there. I understand the criticism and I understand that some would say “If you really got it, then you wouldn’t like the film”. All I can say to that is... I felt warm and fuzzy at the end and I can’t pretend I didn’t. I like feeling warm and fuzzy and this film did that. It may not be true to life. But neither was Bohemian Rhapsody and I still enjoyed that. As long as you’re aware of the jumps that these films make, then just enjoy them for the film that they are. They’re not documentaries. It’s a fun and moving film about a friendship that either did or didn’t exist, depending who you ask/what interviews you watch. I’m not sure what my opinion is on putting a filter on history. There will always be films that do so but there will also always be films that don’t. Shouldn’t we be able to have both? Genuinely don’t know the answer. But I enjoyed this film and can’t pretend I didn’t. NUMBER 7 - Stan & Ollie (John S. Baird) Yeah mate, I don’t care. This didn’t get what it deserved. It’s stunning, quite frankly. Again, I love a biopic and this does everything I need from one. It’s incredibly similar to Judy in that it’s about Hollywood legends towards the end of their career trying to make a final bit of money by playing shows in Britain. There’s something so poignant about studying these legendary people at the end of their careers. People who were at the very top. Unbelievably famous and successful but their star is waning. It breaks my heart. This is also a beautiful look at a friendship and that sort of stuff gets me more than a romance. I’ve been single my whole life and friendships mean a great deal to me. I can watch a moving romance and shed a tear but films about long lasting friendships can leave me in pieces. I audibly sobbed when I saw this film. That’s enough to get it into the top 10. NUMBER 6 - Can You Ever Forgive Me? (Marielle Heller) I adored this film. Melissa McCarthy and Richard E Grant were sublime. What a fascinating story. It’s a film I’ve thought about here and there for most of the year. I can still picture so much of it and had no idea I was enjoying it so much whilst I was watching it. It’s really stayed with me. Again, friendship is a big element of this and a theme is certainly becoming apparent in the films I love. This film is funny and weird and makes you want to sit at a New York bar and just chat to someone and learn everything about their crazy life. I want to go right now and bump into someone like Lee Israel or Jack Hock. Cities like New York and London and full of people like them and that’s why I bloody love them so much. NUMBER 5 - Honey Boy (Alma Har’el) A moving film written by Shia LaBeouf about his alcoholic dad. Noah Jupe plays the young Otis (based on Shia) and is exceptional. One of the most impressive performances from a child actor that I’ve seen. Lucas Hedges is always a treat to see. What an actor. And Shia plays a version of his own dad and is also amazing. Just some really fucking great acting on display in this film. It’s really well made, looks incredible and explores the father/son relationship with brutality but also quite touchingly. It’s an impressive piece of work. NUMBER 4 - Sorry We Missed You (Ken Loach) Having seen this film and not long afterwards seen the Tories win a majority... there isn’t much more heartbreaking to be honest. Ken Loach’s last two films (The other being I, Daniel Blake) have shown the stark reality of a Tory government and if anyone on the planet can watch these films and then put a cross in a box for the Tories without conscience... well I’m not sure you’re human. This film broke my heart because I knew it was a reality for so many people. I also knew that some families have it even worse. I can’t bear thinking about it but sometimes you have to put yourself through it because how else are we going to fight these evil pricks if we don’t remind ourselves what they’re doing to people? This is a beautiful look at a modern working class British family and some of the family moments made me cry. The teenage son in particular is a character that I wanted to slap and hug at the same time. As bleak as you’d expect from Ken Loach and I wouldn’t have him any other way. NUMBER 3 - Booksmart (Olivia Wilde) Quite the contrast to the previous film! I seldom enjoy American comedy films. American comedy isn’t really for me and comedy films usually aren’t either. So I wasn’t expecting much from this film but goodness me I loved it. I can’t remember why I loved it so much but I know that I did. I laughed out loud at least twice which is incredibly rare for a miserable old bastard like me. Again, friendship is the main theme here which is probably why I loved it so much. It’s also just great to see two young girls not giving a shit. I get really depressed by the way young girls feel so self conscious and are constantly worrying about what people think of them. Scared to look silly in front of people. It’s horrific and this film says a huge ‘fuck you’ to that bullshit. What a funny, silly and wonderful ride this film is. Hooray. NUMBER 2 - Avengers: Endgame (Anthony and Joe Russo) Quite basic of me but come on. It’s a pretty bloody incredible film. Not on its own of course. But if you’ve seen every Marvel movie, then this is one of the greatest things to experience. Every hero coming together in the most spectacular fashion. It’s a really impressive feat and I wonder how superhero films can ever better it. I would say, it’s hard not to pair it with Infinity War which is maybe unfair in terms of putting in a list of films from this year but still, to see that huge finale on the big screen this year was very exciting. I look forward to watching all of these films back to back in years to come. What a body of work. And there’s more to bloody come! NUMBER 1 - Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham) What a film. The most perfect exploration of the awful things modern teenage girls go through. I cringed for her more than a film has ever made me cringe. It was excruciating. A heartbreaking look at how phones and the internet affect kids these days but not a film that’s entirely damning of it. It’s easy to be patronising when it comes to technology and how kids interact with it. This doesn’t do that. It celebrates being young today by showing how hard it can be but also how small victories can mean the world. Elsie Fisher gives the most spectacular performance as Kayla Day. Honestly, really quite astonishing for a 16 year old. Jake Ryan who plays Gabe is the scene stealer of the film. What a great performance. It’s just a really special film and I absolutely adored it. The whole year I was waiting for a film with Oscar buzz to come along and replace it as my favourite but it hasn’t happened. Watch it however you can! Well there you go. A load of opinions from someone who has no idea what he’s talking about. That’s the internet for you. Bye pricks.

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artworkandstuff · 6 years

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Politics in rap (Protest songs)

Politics within rap isn’t new, however the most recent wave of mainstream rap has a heavy sense of political undertones. The term “Youthquake” was the number 1 word of 2017 as seen by the oxford dictionary. The term simply means that amongst young people they have opened their ears and eyes to listen and gain a sense understanding of the British political climate. Myself included I am one of many who realised that in order for myself to be respected by adults, I first need to gain the knowledge and full understanding of politics. Politics is everywhere. If you work, pay tax, drive a car, or simply watch tv, you are involved in politics. It’s important to know current affairs as everything affects everything else and can help you with understanding the world. Not only this, but a few close friends and myself included, we didn’t want to stay ignorant, we didn’t want to stay uneducated and lost, we wanted to gain knowledge as knowledge is power. If you are powerful and can hold a mature conversation about the current political climate, not only are you one up on others who are too ignorant to care, you are able to feel empowered by your knowledge and wider understanding of the world.

I would argue that rap is very much now the new “punk”. Punk was inspired by the anarchism and anti government movement of the 80’s. Pieces such as “stand down Margaret” by The English Beat and “1 in 10” by UB40 show this. However every other band since them, calling themselves punk or anti government/anti right wing have only really taken inspirations from other bands, not actual problems the original bands sung about. What I’m trying to explain is that there is a new type of artist, almost at the right time. Artists always appear at the right time as its people speaking out about problems. There are multiple artists who share this same attribute and its simply them being human and speaking out. Childish Gambino with “This is america” is a clear example. Many world renowned artists have money, have themselves sorted. But I feel that it says a lot when these artists are willing to risk their audience appeal and ignore typical trends and instead make the effort to help others lower than them. One very well known artist and well respected is no other then Grime Rapper, Stormzy. During the Brits award night, Stormzy had the chance to put his stamp on the stage and show the country where his heart lies. After winning two awards that evening Stormzy was clearly feeling good about himself and out of nowhere when it came to his performance, just before he performed “blinded by your grace”, water started to pour on him like rain as he ripped his top off and freestyled saying; “Yo Theresa May, where’s the money for Grenfell?”. He continued with; “What, you thought we just forgot about Grenfell? You criminals, and you’ve got the cheek to call us savages, you should do some jail time, you should pay some damages, you should burn your house down and see if you can manage this.” .This simple freestyle bought the country to a standstill and if anything it gained him popularity buy having the confidence to speak out about what he cares about. Although his work doesn’t directly point a finger at particular subjects like other artists such as DAVE, however it’s clear that he cares about politics and is using his voice for something powerful and good on him. Grenfell was and still is such an overlooked tragedy that he bought it back to the forefront to show the government that people are still suffering. That’s activism right there.

Talking about activism, not only here is it that stars are taking their privilege and using it, but over in America EMINEM certainly is. He risked losing fans when he done a freestyle rap out of disgust and frustration of donald trump. The reason I make a point about him losing fans is because, and I quote “ …and any fan of mine, who’s a supporter of his, I’m drawing in the sand a line, you’re either for or against. And if you can’t decide who you like more in your split, on who you should stand beside, I’ll do it for you with this… *middle finger to the camera* …Fuck you! “. Amazingly if anything his support grew and as someone who never really listened to 90’s rap or early 2000’s I never paid attention to his work but since that I’ve definitely taken a liking to his work. Clearly EMINEM was frustrated with Trump as throughout the freestyle he just kept going. As a performer I can sense how other performers feel and can easily read faces, and my word was he infuriated. The freestyle rap went on for 4:34 which even for a song is rather long. During the beginning he starts and gets so caught up in his pain he pauses and then starts again. Subjects such as the hell of a storm that hit Puerto Rico and the lack of support from Trump as well as the gun crisis. You could tell that he wanted to speak out and wanted to make his voice heard and Trump being the discriminative, right wing, selfish, misogynistic man he is, EMINEM needing to say something and it’s clear that Trump is what inspired him.

Now although Stormzy and EMINEM don’t create tracks and produce eps exposing and questioning politics, a favourite artist of mine does. At the age of 19 DAVE is one of Britain’s breakthrough artists of 2017. Not only that, but for his age he speaks with wisdom and is very wise when rapping about a subject which he addresses from an unbiased view. Majority of his work reflects his youth and his family and friends however a few of his pieces show his interest in politics. One of his most powerful pieces of work is “Question Time” which depicts the general election and Theresa May’s leadership as the PM. For someone who loves both politics and music this is bar one of my favourite songs to date just down to its facts and pure emotion as you can see doing the music video how emotionally attacked DAVE is to getting his message across. His message is that politics is something we all need to understand to avoid staying ignorant and if you don’t want to understand it, you can’t ever complain about a political situation. I for one feel that that is an appropriate way to interpret that particular pieces message. Even from the first line of the song it says “I got a question for the new prime minister, how do you have a heart so sinister, how are we so wasteful when people are dying in Somalia, Afghanistan, Egypt, Libya. “. The beginning of this piece really allows me to not only connect with DAVE on an artistic level in the sense of poetry, but also in means of his actual question. Because as much as “Question Time” is a rap, it’s also one big question, hence the name. The country wants answers and DAVE is happy to ask them. He continues on to say “The irony is we have no business in syria, but kids are getting killed for all the business in syria”. Now although this was released back in October of 2017, it couldn’t be more relevant. With the recent airstakes of 2018 in Syria by the US, UK and France in retaliation to Bashar Al-Assad using illegal chemical weapons on his own people down to the civil war at play, DAVE’s song really does make you ask why. Why are we getting involved in other countries business. It’s ironic really as we condemn Bashar Al-Assad for basically bombing his own people, creating refugees which our government refuses to take in. So we bomb his country to tell him not to bomb his own, creating more refugees, which our government won’t take in, yet the reason we bombed his country is to warn him to look after his own people but we’re adding to the cycle. The logic is ridiculous and although our airstrikes were used to blow up “military bases” and “science research labs”, majority of airstrikes aren’t even that accurate anyway. Another one of DAVE’s lines from “Question Time” is; “What’s the difference between us and them, when you’ve got drones killing kids just touching ten”. The bars are so simple and there aren’t any metaphors used, its just straight up words that makes sense and want you wanting answers. DAVE continues on to talk about Brexit in frustration and says “What about the people that voted for us to leave for the money that it would see. £350 Million pound that we give to the EU every week that our health service needs.”. Brexit is a really interesting subject and one that divides a room much like marmite divides people’s taste buds. Brexit, regardless of its good or bad has brought about racial tension and a rise in hate crime. As a modern, progressive country this is embarrassing and the whole political climate is a complete joke. Now although I didn’t live through the 80’s it feels as if we are back there. Not only are we on the brink of a dirty nuclear war, but because of Brexit and Donald Trump race relationships aren’t the best. Though to top it all off we have an incompetent, selfish right wing conservative party in government.

Bibliography:

Newspaper article, ‘Youthquake’ named 2017 word of the year by Oxford Dictionaries, The Guardian, 2017

Sian Cain, Site editor, Written on 15/12/17

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/dec/15/youthquake-named-2017-word-of-the-year-by-oxford-dictionaries

Webpage, Definition of Youthquake in English, Oxford Dictionaries, 1965

Oxford Dictionaries, English Dictionary, 2017

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/youthquake

Online video, The English Beat - Stand Down Margaret (O.T.T. - Broadcast March 27, 1982), Youtube, 1982

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 23/07/12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K6YWX4OL0o

Online video, UB40 - One in Ten, 1981

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 06/05/13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usYgf8cVfvU

Online video, Childish Gambino - This Is America (Official Video), 2018

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 05/05/18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

Online video, STORMZY - BLINDED BY YOUR GRACE PT.2 & BIG FOR YOUR BOOTS [LIVE AT THE BRITs ‘18], 2018

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 22/02/18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReY4yVkoDc4

Newspaper article, Stormzy asks Theresa May: “Where’s the money for Grenfell?” in Brit Awards performance, Mirror, 2018

Lucy Clarke-Billings, Assistant news editor, Written on 21/02/18

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/stormzy-asks-theresa-may-wheres-12067811

Newspaper article, Eminem attacks Donald Trump in scathing freestyle rap 'The Storm’ - and gives his fans an ultimatum, Mirror, 2017

Zoe Forsey, Audience writer, Written on 11/10/17

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/eminem-attacks-donald-trump-scathing-11323842

Online video, Dave - Question Time, 2017

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 09/10/17

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ff6CjYBhoI

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remembermemorablememories · 6 years

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Monday, January 28, 2019

post #385

main points:

- pb + banana bread

- order hat + yesterday’s blog post

- talk to brokers to schedule tour

- chipotle for lunch + scrubs

- NY app reviews

- dinner with the fam

- help sheena with dbq

- chest pain now hurts with breathing. also mild pain in neck

today i:

- woke up at 10:15am and snoozed until 11am. then i got out of bed and went downstairs trying to figure out what to eat for breakfast. dad had gotten some more whole wheat grain bread so i toasted two of those and ate it with peanut butter and banana. made a call to the colorectal surgery department to check out the hemorrhoids since the cream hasn’t seem to have done anything (also could be because i haven’t been applying it correctly)

- went back upstairs and ordered a new gray hat on amazon. cause i had to throw mine out at the end of the summer cause it had that banana stuff. like back in spring 2018 i left a banana peel rotting in my backpack

typed up yesterday’s blog post

- communicated with the first broker i had originally talked to to tell him where i’m at. he asked to learn more about my second broker i was talking to over the weekend. then wanted to show me some listings first, asking what my schedule looks like. he seemed a bit aggressive and i wasn’t sure how to respond. i asked jwoos franky and brian and tyrone for help LOL. i got different mixed opinions, but mostly to try to stick with the second broker since i seem to personally like her better. but at the end of the day today, i decided to try to reschedule to accommodate the first broker’s rescheduling requests

- drove out to get chipotle for lunch around 2pm and brought it back to watch scrubs S2E15

- worked on reviewing the remainder of NY apps from 4:30-6:30pm, while emailing the first broker back and forth and trying to learn more about each company. i had about 9 reviews left so i went through all of them to get them finished today

- went downstairs to eat dinner with the fam. dad made some tofu and veggie + ground beef. there was also some duck from chinatown. sheena was upstairs in the bathroom and didn’t seem to come down so we were wondering where she was. i went up to check up on her and then mom, then dad. each time she said she’ll be down later to eat. she said later that she was talking to ben about something

- spent some time with dad washing dishes and stuff. he was talking about the justice department setting stuff on huawei. he was recounting some other historic events when britain (for some kind of mining thing) and a company in holland (for a bridge) tried to suppress china. but instead it backfired because it made china want to try even harder to succeed. and the huawei thing seems to be another example of the U.S. suppressing a company that’s succeeding. i also showed dad google hangouts since he had never used it before

- i was about to get ready to play fortnite with bryan and josh around 9pm, but sheena came in asking if i could help her with her DBQ for APUSH. she wanted to dictate her thoughts and have me type it so that she could write it down later. but she was still thinking about what to write (she only had an intro down so far) so we slowed down a bit and tried to think about big picture stuff first. also the teacher gave her documents that were barely legible?? what. how is that even helpful. anywho, once she got the ball rolling, i let her continue typing on my laptop and i went to take a shower

health: while i was taking a shower and washing my face, i felt it was hard to breathe. and then when i took a breathe, i felt a sharp pain in my center right chest ish area. i was a bit concerned but it’s now pretty consistent. i just got out of the shower and am typing this in sheena’s bed as she’s copying over her DBQ from word to paper by hand. my center right chest ish area hurts whenever i breathe and i’m intermittently feeling pain on my right neck side (very brief). not sure what to make of it... but will stop by the doctor tomorrow when i go to colorectal surgery

it’s 11:46pm. my appointment tomorrow morning is at 10:30am so gotta go to sleep soon anyway. i’m surprisingly tired given that it’s only 11:46pm

okay the end

i guess i’m tired cause i’ve been doing stuff all day. i haven’t had a break and didn’t play smash for like 3 hours in the afternoon for once LOL

#post #normal #january #2019 #health

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moreartworkandstuff · 6 years

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Politics in rap (Protest songs)

I would argue that rap is very much now the new “punk”. Punk was inspired by the anarchism and anti government movement of the 80’s. Pieces such as “stand down Margaret” by The English Beat and “1 in 10” by UB40 show this. However every other band since them, calling themselves punk or anti government/anti right wing have only really taken inspirations from other bands, not actual problems the original bands sung about. What I’m trying to explain is that there is a new type of artist, almost at the right time. Artists always appear at the right time as its people speaking out about problems. There are multiple artists who share this same attribute and its simply them being human and speaking out. Childish Gambino with “This is america” is a clear example. Many world renowned artists have money, have themselves sorted. But I feel that it says a lot when these artists are willing to risk their audience appeal and ignore typical trends and instead make the effort to help others lower than them. One very well known artist and well respected is no other then Grime Rapper, Stormzy. During the Brits award night, Stormzy had the chance to put his stamp on the stage and show the country where his heart lies. After winning two awards that evening Stormzy was clearly feeling good about himself and out of nowhere when it came to his performance, just before he performed “blinded by your grace”, water started to pour on him like rain as he ripped his top off and freestyled saying; "Yo Theresa May, where’s the money for Grenfell?". He continued with; "What, you thought we just forgot about Grenfell? You criminals, and you’ve got the cheek to call us savages, you should do some jail time, you should pay some damages, you should burn your house down and see if you can manage this." .This simple freestyle bought the country to a standstill and if anything it gained him popularity buy having the confidence to speak out about what he cares about. Although his work doesn’t directly point a finger at particular subjects like other artists such as DAVE, however it’s clear that he cares about politics and is using his voice for something powerful and good on him. Grenfell was and still is such an overlooked tragedy that he bought it back to the forefront to show the government that people are still suffering. That’s activism right there.

Talking about activism, not only here is it that stars are taking their privilege and using it, but over in America EMINEM certainly is. He risked losing fans when he done a freestyle rap out of disgust and frustration of donald trump. The reason I make a point about him losing fans is because, and I quote “ ...and any fan of mine, who’s a supporter of his, I’m drawing in the sand a line, you’re either for or against. And if you can’t decide who you like more in your split, on who you should stand beside, I’ll do it for you with this… *middle finger to the camera* ...Fuck you! “. Amazingly if anything his support grew and as someone who never really listened to 90’s rap or early 2000’s I never paid attention to his work but since that I’ve definitely taken a liking to his work. Clearly EMINEM was frustrated with Trump as throughout the freestyle he just kept going. As a performer I can sense how other performers feel and can easily read faces, and my word was he infuriated. The freestyle rap went on for 4:34 which even for a song is rather long. During the beginning he starts and gets so caught up in his pain he pauses and then starts again. Subjects such as the hell of a storm that hit Puerto Rico and the lack of support from Trump as well as the gun crisis. You could tell that he wanted to speak out and wanted to make his voice heard and Trump being the discriminative, right wing, selfish, misogynistic man he is, EMINEM needing to say something and it’s clear that Trump is what inspired him.

Now although Stormzy and EMINEM don’t create tracks and produce eps exposing and questioning politics, a favourite artist of mine does. At the age of 19 DAVE is one of Britain's breakthrough artists of 2017. Not only that, but for his age he speaks with wisdom and is very wise when rapping about a subject which he addresses from an unbiased view. Majority of his work reflects his youth and his family and friends however a few of his pieces show his interest in politics. One of his most powerful pieces of work is “Question Time” which depicts the general election and Theresa May’s leadership as the PM. For someone who loves both politics and music this is bar one of my favourite songs to date just down to its facts and pure emotion as you can see doing the music video how emotionally attacked DAVE is to getting his message across. His message is that politics is something we all need to understand to avoid staying ignorant and if you don’t want to understand it, you can’t ever complain about a political situation. I for one feel that that is an appropriate way to interpret that particular pieces message. Even from the first line of the song it says “I got a question for the new prime minister, how do you have a heart so sinister, how are we so wasteful when people are dying in Somalia, Afghanistan, Egypt, Libya. “. The beginning of this piece really allows me to not only connect with DAVE on an artistic level in the sense of poetry, but also in means of his actual question. Because as much as “Question Time” is a rap, it’s also one big question, hence the name. The country wants answers and DAVE is happy to ask them. He continues on to say “The irony is we have no business in syria, but kids are getting killed for all the business in syria”. Now although this was released back in October of 2017, it couldn’t be more relevant. With the recent airstakes of 2018 in Syria by the US, UK and France in retaliation to Bashar Al-Assad using illegal chemical weapons on his own people down to the civil war at play, DAVE’s song really does make you ask why. Why are we getting involved in other countries business. It’s ironic really as we condemn Bashar Al-Assad for basically bombing his own people, creating refugees which our government refuses to take in. So we bomb his country to tell him not to bomb his own, creating more refugees, which our government won’t take in, yet the reason we bombed his country is to warn him to look after his own people but we’re adding to the cycle. The logic is ridiculous and although our airstrikes were used to blow up “military bases” and “science research labs”, majority of airstrikes aren’t even that accurate anyway. Another one of DAVE’s lines from “Question Time” is; “What’s the difference between us and them, when you’ve got drones killing kids just touching ten”. The bars are so simple and there aren’t any metaphors used, its just straight up words that makes sense and want you wanting answers. DAVE continues on to talk about Brexit in frustration and says “What about the people that voted for us to leave for the money that it would see. £350 Million pound that we give to the EU every week that our health service needs.”. Brexit is a really interesting subject and one that divides a room much like marmite divides people's taste buds. Brexit, regardless of its good or bad has brought about racial tension and a rise in hate crime. As a modern, progressive country this is embarrassing and the whole political climate is a complete joke. Now although I didn’t live through the 80’s it feels as if we are back there. Not only are we on the brink of a dirty nuclear war, but because of Brexit and Donald Trump race relationships aren’t the best. Though to top it all off we have an incompetent, selfish right wing conservative party in government.

Bibliography:

Newspaper article, ‘Youthquake’ named 2017 word of the year by Oxford Dictionaries, The Guardian, 2017

Sian Cain, Site editor, Written on 15/12/17

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/dec/15/youthquake-named-2017-word-of-the-year-by-oxford-dictionaries

Webpage, Definition of Youthquake in English, Oxford Dictionaries, 1965

Oxford Dictionaries, English Dictionary, 2017

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/youthquake

Online video, The English Beat - Stand Down Margaret (O.T.T. - Broadcast March 27, 1982), Youtube, 1982

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 23/07/12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K6YWX4OL0o

Online video, UB40 - One in Ten, 1981

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 06/05/13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usYgf8cVfvU

Online video, Childish Gambino - This Is America (Official Video), 2018

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 05/05/18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

Online video, STORMZY - BLINDED BY YOUR GRACE PT.2 & BIG FOR YOUR BOOTS [LIVE AT THE BRITs '18], 2018

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 22/02/18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReY4yVkoDc4

Newspaper article, Stormzy asks Theresa May: "Where's the money for Grenfell?" in Brit Awards performance, Mirror, 2018

Lucy Clarke-Billings, Assistant news editor, Written on 21/02/18

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/stormzy-asks-theresa-may-wheres-12067811

Newspaper article, Eminem attacks Donald Trump in scathing freestyle rap 'The Storm' - and gives his fans an ultimatum, Mirror, 2017

Zoe Forsey, Audience writer, Written on 11/10/17

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/eminem-attacks-donald-trump-scathing-11323842

Online video, Dave - Question Time, 2017

Youtube, Online video website, Uploaded on 09/10/17

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ff6CjYBhoI

0 notes

ixvyupdates · 7 years

Text

White People Won’t Even Be Able to Handle This Black History Month Racial CrossFit

If you teach the Negro that he has accomplished as much good as any other race he will aspire to equality and justice without regard to race. Such an effort would upset the program of the oppressor in Africa and America. Play up before the Negro, then, his crimes and shortcomings. Let him learn to admire the Hebrew, the Greek, the Latin and the Teuton. Lead the Negro to detest the man of African blood—to hate himself.”

― Carter G. Woodson, “The Mis-Education of the Negro”

In 1926, Carter G. Woodson, noted historian of the Black experience in the United States, developed Negro History Week (now Black History Month) as a twofold strategy toward racial equality.

First, it was designed to educate Black people about their history, their contributions and their humanity in a country that from its founding considered them property and worth only three-quarters of a person. To counteract the deliberate strategy of keeping Black people in ignorance of their history, Woodson proposed creating intentional time and space to honor Black Americans and their achievements.

Woodson believed Black people needed to know their full history both for reasons of dignity and as a tool to participate thoughtfully and strategically in U.S. society and politics. Woodson wrote his classic masterpiece, “The Mis-Education of the Negro,” to make the case that Black people would require a totally new education to attain full freedom and dignity. Even today, Black people continue to re-educate themselves and their children using the tools provided by Woodson and other Black intellectuals that are not available in most American schools.

Second, Woodson also promoted Black history to educate White Americans about the contributions of Black Americans as proof they were equally human: intellectually, culturally, physically and socially. In a country hellbent on denying the equality of Black people, Negro History Week served as a counterweight. Woodson hoped that eventually Negro History Week (today’s Black History Month) would no longer be needed, because all Americans would honor the contributions of Black Americans to their country’s history without a second thought.

An Experiment

This year, I challenge all of us to a Black History Month thought experiment. Let’s assume Black Americans’ humanity, dignity and equality as citizens of the United States is a given, just as Woodson hoped it would be.

This year, instead of focusing on Black people, let’s question why White people denied Black people’s humanity in the first place. Let’s really study racism to answer the profound challenge raised by James Baldwin:

What White people have to do is try to find out in their hearts why it was necessary to have a n—r in the first place.

Part of doing that is taking a deeper look at what Whiteness has meant historically and what it currently means in our society.

Rather than spend the month of February “proving the value” of Black people by highlighting individual Black Americans and their contributions to our country, this Black History Month Racial CrossFit lesson challenges us to discover why there is still a need to “prove” Black worth, by studying how White racism has historically and systematically devalued the worth of human beings not considered to be “White.”

Before You Start This Workout, Explore the History of ‘Whiteness’

This Racial CrossFit is going to be insanely difficult for White people! It will be the racial workout of your life! It is the triathlon of racial introspection.

There is a 99 percent chance you will cry.

There is a 99 percent chance you will want to quit.

There is a 99 percent chance you will be angry and want to fight me.

Do it anyway! As your Racial CrossFit coach, I expect you work through all your pain and emotions to reach our goal. Yup, it hurts, do it anyways!

Moreover, if you do this workout, there is a 100 percent chance you will learn something new and deepen your level of racial awareness. And all the pain will be worth it in order to gain the strength needed to finally guide us towards an end to racism.

To get you ready, this Racial CrossFit workout kicks off with some background on the history of Whiteness.

Whiteness and “the White race” as we know it today are relatively new concepts. The word Caucasian was invented in 1776. It may surprise you to learn how many people we now consider White Americans without a second thought only “became White” very recently. Here’s just one example:

The documentary, “Race: The Power of an Illusion,” produced by California Newsreel and shown on PBS, includes a timeline of how Whiteness and the idea of “races” developed. You’ll want to refer to it as you take on this tough assignment.

Now you’re ready for Racial CrossFit: Beyond Black History Month Edition!

Everyone must answer the question regarding racist Federal Housing Administration (FHA) policies. In addition, please answer one question from each category: Early Creation of Whiteness and Racism; Whiteness in the 19th and 20th Century; and Whiteness and Racism Currently.

Who were the European tribes that the Romans considered “barbaric?” Choose one modern European country, name its ancient ethnic tribes and describe how and when they became civilized: Denmark, France, Great Britain, Germany, Italy, Ireland, The Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Sweden. (15 points)

When did the term “White race” first appear in colonial laws? Through colonial times and early U.S. history, how was the law used to define and privilege “Whiteness?” (15 points)

How and why did the Irish and Scottish, people who were considered non-White in the early Americas, participate in racism and White supremacy? What political, economic and psychological benefits did they receive after a period of oppression? (10 points)

Create a timeline of when and where the following people became “White” in America. For extra credit, add a brief summary as to why they were included in White race: Irish, Scots, Russians, Jews, Eastern Europeans. (5 points each)

Whiteness In the 19th and 20th Centuries

Describe how the Homestead Act of 1862 was used historically to privilege White people, and how those effects persist today. (10 points)

Define who Hitler described as “the superior Aryan race.” Would the White race in America today qualify? Why or why not? (10 points)

Research the Marshall Plan. Take the viewpoint of a Black soldier in World War II, and write about the racism in the plan. (10 points)

Read Ta-Nehshi Coates’ case for reparations in The Atlantic. Describe the FHA racial discriminatory policies and please give a personal example of someone in your family or a White friend that benefited from the racial policy? (Mandatory Question: 25 points)

Whiteness and Racism Today

Watch this clip of James Baldwin speaking on “The Dick Cavett Show” in 1968 before answering these questions.

youtube

If you live in a community where less than 20 percent of the population includes low-income people of color, please examine the resource gap between your neighborhood and neighborhoods where low-income people of color live, and reflect on how to change it. What are the resources your community has that low-income communities of color do not have? Name three actions you can take now to close the racial resource gap between your community and less-affluent communities of color. (10 points)

If your children’s school population is less than 15 percent low-income students of color, please examine the resource gap between your school and nearby schools attended by large numbers of less-affluent students of color, and reflect on how to change it. What are the resources that your local school has access to that nearby low-income communities of color do not have? Name three actions you can take now to close the racial resource gap between your child’s school and schools in less-affluent communities of color. (10 points)

Give three examples of racist policies in our criminal justice system that affect Black people but do not affect White people. (10 points)

Name three tangible privileges possessed by people who are considered White in 2018 America, that are not available to non-Whites. (5 points each)

EXTRA CREDIT

Read and review any of the following books:

“Stamped from the Beginning”—Ibram X. Kendi

“The New Jim Crow”—Michelle Alexander

“The Mis-Education of the Negro”– Carter G. Woodson

“Between the World and Me”—Ta-Nehisi Coates

“How to Slowly Kill Yourself in America”—Kiese Laymon

Watch and review one of these movies:

“I am Not Your Negro”

“13th”

“Selma”

Happy Black History Month!

Photo by Justyn Warner, Unsplash-licensed.

White People Won’t Even Be Able to Handle This Black History Month Racial CrossFit syndicated from https://sapsnkraguide.wordpress.com

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