#anyway he looked soooooo good in this film

[ichigo-dream]

Leon Kennedy - Eating Headcannons (SFW + NSFW)

Dream and I were having a drinks sesh cause the weather is good with us atm, and we ended up having a full discussion about Leon and eating. We were discussing the criteria to qualify as what we have coined a “neo fem-boy”, and how Leon has a lilll bit of squish to him despite the muscle - cause baby boy likes to EAT (both figuratively and metaphorically). Leon canonically put on 40 lbs of pure muscle between RE 2 and RE 4, yet he still somehow looks a lil bit soft and squishy soooooo we had to write this shit down.

Basically we just wanna eat up soft Leon, enjoy~

SFW

It's established canon that this man wants dinner all the time (see Leon in Infinite Darkness and Damnation)

This boy is hobbit-coded - baby boy needs at least three square meals a day - we’re talking full fry up in the morning, actual lunch and a spread for dinner. Might even squeeze in brunch and supper while he’s at it.

Snack, snacks, snacks - always snacking on something.

Having low blood sugar and being in a relationship with Leon is a match made in Heaven.

Lil baby has a sweet tooth

His jacket and coat pockets will always have some form of sweet in them - gum, lollipops, hard boiled sweets, Tiic Tacs, jawbreakers,

Any time you’re in the car together or watching a film, you can hear the hard sugar shell clacking against his teeth.

Will hide food, and eat in bed - you get into bed after a long day and when your head hits the pillow, you’ll hear a plastic rustle. Reaching under you’ll find a half-eaten packet of cookies or biscuits he’d been snacking on earlier that he had shoved under your pillow.

Will finish your food for you

Birthdays are his fav - any excuse to have cake this boy will use it - will eat any kind, but boy is a slut for vanilla cake and strawberry jam filling - you will often have to wipe the cream and jam from the corners of his mouth.

Will fuck up a strawberry sundae especially in the summer time.

Speaking of summer, it’s one of his favourite seasons

Loves to eat outside in the sunshine when it’s hot and balmy

Perfect weather for ice cream or milkshakes – and he won’t waste a single drop. If he notices some trickling down the cool glass in his hands, he’ll lick it up, completely oblivious to how the small action makes you blush.

You’ll often catch him eating his cereal standing up, watching TV or nosying at the neighbours having an argument in the streets below, still in his pyjama bottoms.

Loves milkshake straws - has a collection of different flavours - though, when he doesn’t use a straw, he is always oblivious to the cute lil milkstache.

Will squirt cream straight into his mouth in front of the fridge.

Weddings, and other events are the worst for him, as whilst he loves desserts, they rarely serve his favourites.

“I fucking hate pavlova” he grumbles, proceeding to eat it anyway, just to get his sugar fix.

Loves fruit - will eat raspberries one by one off the tips of his fingers.

You’ll catch him eating ice cream sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge in the middle of the night, sucking on his spoon and looking at you like a deer in headlights when he sees you standing there watching him.

Will get cranky if he doesn’t get to eat - hangry vibes

If he wakes up late, he will refuse to leave without breakfast - this boy will run out the door with a piece of toast in his mouth like an anime school girl.

His RPD uniform has lots of “fancy pockets” and what are they good for? Emergency snack storage - nuts, sweets, biscuits, dried fruit. 

For his birthday, you buy him candy bracelets - heart eyes for days - and he sits and absent-mindedly sucks on them at his desk at work, thinking of you.

NSFW

As a birthday present, you wear a candy necklace during sex and Leon attacks your neck, sucking and biting at it whilst he fucks you.

Due to his habits, he always tastes sweet - all of him tastes sweet if you catch our drift (ya, his cum)

Whilst he’s squirting cream into his mouth, if you happen to be walking past and notice some of it lingering on the corners of his mouth and decide to lick it off, baby boy will forget everything he’s doing and fuck you over the kitchen table.

Speaking of cream - will use it on you when he fucks you, kitten-licking the sweet dollops off your warm skin (tits, collarbones, stomach - he's gonna eat you up)

If you’re curious about something he’s eating and want to taste some, he’ll kiss you in lieu of sharing (Leon is only possessive over two things - you and food).

Big into gum sharing - will use it as an excuse to start making out with you.

If things get a little messy when you’re eating cake, he will lick your hands clean if he’s in the mood.

Leon is a munch in more ways than one.

This boy will eat you out of house and home, including your pussy.

Could eat three square meals a day and will still go down on you like he’s starving.

Kitchen? Bedroom? Sofa? Standing up? Doesn’t matter - man’s is ready to munch anytime anywhere.

Whilst he’s eating you out, he’ll rut his hips against the bed - the sugar rush means he is always full of energy and ready to go at all times.

Will suck on your clit like it's a gobstopper.

Gets bratty when he hasn’t had a snack - but, it just so happens that he considers you to be the sweetest one.

Be prepared to be fucked within an inch of your life when he gets like this - or for him to eat you out until you can’t walk (will bring you a snack afterwards ofc).

This man gained 40lbs of muscle— but like we said, baby boy is still soft  

Leon puts you in a headlock whilst he fucks you and his biceps have a nice lil bit of squish which you relish in when he chokes you.

His ass jiggles - when he’s lying stomach down on bed, you love slapping it when you walk past and watching it jiggle like jelly - this action without fail will make him blush and whine “Stop!” every time.

You like to bite him

He’s too cute and squishy to resist honestly

Playfully nibbling his plump lil cheek

Biting his thick arms

When you’re riding him and can’t resist playfully kneading his tits like a kitten, and it makes him grab your wrists and fuck into you harder - he’ll later claim that him turning red from his cheeks to his chest was from exertion and not embarrassment.

He is the comfiest place to lie on when you’re fucked out and riding the waves of post-orgasmic bliss.

If you made it this far, comment “Bingo!”

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Ichigo and Dream xoxo

[waitmyturtles]

Crossing shows off my list as I catch up from my trip!

1) Before Last Twilight (the Last Twilight special ep): Anything, ANYTHING by Aof Noppharnach gets watched by me. I gotta say -- if there's a single person I trust in handling JimmySea, it'll be Aof. This looks GREAT.

Has there been any theorizing as to whether or not there could be a connection between Last Twilight and Last Twilight in Phuket? A couple scenes at the end of Before Last Twilight seeeeeeemed to maybe indicate a little inspiration. But, at the same time -- two people riding on a motorcycle in twilight is a common motif in these shows. We know Aof has spoken to I Told Sunset About You a couple of times in Bad Buddy, so a reference to LTIP wouldn't surprise me.

1) Wednesday Club: het Only Friends, with, listen, a MUCH clearer premise than OF at the start. A show about neglected middle kids, some rich, some poor, some into each other, one dude cheated on another dude's sister. Phuwin's character is a messy mess with a chain. (We started the year with his ship partner, Pond, playing a prostitute in Dirty Laundry; we end the year with Phuwin in a similar sitch, and I'm not complaining, let' em be boyfriends or escorts, whatever.) Satang's gonna be a dangerous gossip, but the show starts with Phuwin cryingly waving a gun, soooooo.

I've watched only a very few het shows from the GMMTV slate over the short course of my time watching Thai dramas -- Double Savage, 55:15 Never Too Late, Dirty Laundry. Why am I watching WC? (Lol). Literally because the previews had Ohm Pawat and Nani Hirunkit running around without clothes -- I am SHAMELESS (and shallow).

The divide in acting talent with GMMTV's slate is worrisome -- Ohm and Film need to lead Aof Noppharnach's first never-to-be-filmed het drama (god, maybe he could cast them in a movie) (or maybe Fon Kannittha could cast them), because they run away in every scene they're in. Piploy, who plays a love interest of Ohm's character, is a very weak, eye-rolling link, which is unfortunate, because she was great in 55:15. Satang can sing, let's give him that. I thought Kay Lertsittichai was great in 55:15, but I don't think he's gonna get a huge role here. Anddddd.... if I'm missing anyone of the ensemble, it's for a good reason. Can Nani act? Nani can look. I have yet to know if he can act.

If I have time for a trash watch, Wednesday Club will certainly fit the bill. The potential for family trauma storylines is high and too tempting. Ohm Pawat getting cast again as a problematic middle child whose name starts with a K and is saddled with a bad parent is a WILD way to be stereotyped, and poor dude CANNOT catch a break with on-screen parents! Literally the last time an Ohm Pawat character had a great parent was Thun's single mom in He's Coming To Me, which was SIX FOUR YEARS AGO, my gawd (@c1nto, I can’t math! 🙏🏽).

Anyway, I actually have no excuse to be watching this, except that I'm recovering from a very stressful couple of months, and I need a show that's like a glass of really fruity rosé, something alcoholic that actually quenches a thirst, and I'm a mom, so I have lots of thirst. And! I am indeed impressed that we have a GMMTV ensemble show that, I'll repeat myself, went far faster in defining what it's gonna do, as opposed to Only Friends -- and I do have lots of OF PTSD at the moment. But WC gets dropped if my work on Last Twilight and Playboyy (and/or whatever else gets added and/or replaces those two shows) takes up too much of my time.

[thealmightyemprex]

Universal Monster watch through thoughts part 2

Onto 5 more monster movies

A few notes:I have been watching the behind the scenes documentaries that go with certain movies and this is the first batch with no documentaries .ALso with Daughter of DRacula we exit phase one of the Universal monsters ,as in studio history I belive this is where the LEamlies (Those who founded Universal) were I believe forced out and Horror films were put on the back burner due to the Hays code ....Till a theater owner did a very sucessful triple bill of Dracula,Frankenstein and Son of Kong ,which got Universal seeing dollar signs and brought beack the monsters with Son of Frankenstein

6.Werewolf of London 1935

First film I fully dont like.Like its one of the first werewolf movies Jack Pierces makeup ,which is more man then wolf is good and theres some amusing drunk old ladies ......But other then that and unless you are a hardcore werewolf fanatic,I think this film is skipable .I dont like the main characvter or actor ,Henry Hull ,and the key to a good Werewolf story is I gotta care about the main character,and while it has cool ideas it does ntohing with them.Also the villain is played by Warner Oland ,a Swedish actor known for playing mostly Asian characters ,including here .....Skip this movie

7.Draculas Daughter (1936)

So this is an example of a film I saw once before,didnt think much of .....And on this watch I really enjoyed it .The opening scene is dumb with Van Helsing getting arrested and honestly as much as I love Edward Van Sloan ,I wouldve preferred if he wasnt in the movie .Other then that its a good movie,and for Queer horror fans I think its a must watch ,Zaleskas queer subtext is palpable ,ESPECIALLY in the scene with Lili the model .I like the humor in the film mostly (Im noticing more a trend to humor ),Sandor is one of my favorite characters so far cause he is the ultimate buzzkill and personification of gloom , but what makes the film really is Zaleska played to perfection by Gloria Holden ,she really brings the tragedy and pathos so she isnt just a villain .Also earliest vampire film I can think of to treat vamparism like addiction,with Sandor the utimate enabler .Also ummm I didnt realize this but I couldnt shake the feeling while watching that the hero Jeffrey looked villanious ....And turns out Its Otto Kruger who I had just seen in Hitchcocks Saboteur where he plays a villain (Also was Dr Livsey in Tresaure Island with Wallace Beery ).Anyway good movie,hidden gem reccomend

8.Son of Frankenstein (1939)

...So yeah the first 3 Frankenstein movies (The Karloff trilogy as I call it ) are all amazing ,its soooooo hard to pick a favorite.I have heard people who say its the best of the three and others who say its the weakest,but honestly like the first two it is still a masterpiece .It is sadly the first one where the monster becomes a bit of a prop,he is the least interesting character in the film but he still has great moments in the film to showcase how great Karloff is (His wail of Anguish upon finding Ygor dead ,his one friend ,is HEARTBREAKINGLY AMAZING ).Honestly what makes the film is the cast which might be the best ensamble of any of these movies .Lionel Atwil is so good as the one armed Inspector Krogh who plays off Basil Rathbone beautifully .Basil Rathbone gives possibly one of his best performances as the titular character and the dart scene is some of the best actor Ive seen from him .The scene stealer in EASILLY his best performance ever is Bela Lugosi as Ygor ,he is so creepy and is played to perfection by Lugosi .I am tempted to say he is tied with Pretorious as my favorite villain of the series .The movie looks beautiful,its got a good final set piece and you get to see some amazing actors work off each other.Another CLASSIC in my oppinion.Also Bambi is in it .And with that we leave the 30's and enter the 40's

9.The Invisible Man Returns (1940)

Another solid one ,love the wronged man trying to prove his innocence plot while trying not to lose his mind ,I think thats a fun angle .Im not a huge fan of Sir Cedric Hardwicke ,but I love his performance here as the main villain not playing it villainous but rather desperate which leads to villainy .I also really like the inspector here who is a fun foil .The stand out of the movie is its lead a very green Vincent Price in his first time being the lead in a horror film ,I think his manerisms when bandaged are good and he has a strong voice though he hasnt developed his signature affectation yet so he sounds alittle diffrent though the signature "Price voice" slips in a few scenes .My favorite scene is when he is menacing Alan Napier (AKA Alfred brom 60's Batman TV show ) and the film has a great finale .Also the effects were OScar nominated and RIGHTLY so,they look good for being over 80 years old.Must see for both Universal fans and Vincent Price fans

10.The Mummys Hand (!940)

....Sooooooo,I have seen this one before,but this time around I mostly had it on in the background as I made lunch ,and thus have very little to say .I kind of like that the two main characters are goofy ,fun knowing the mummys actor Tom Tyler was in westerns (Including John Fords Stagecoach) but also is the first live action actor to play a comic book hero ,Captain Marvel and Geroge Zucco is creepy....I dunno,I got nothing both times Ive watched this I just thought it was OK

Ranking so far

10.Werewolf of London

9.Mummys Hand

8.Mummy

7.Dracula's Daughter

6.Dracula

5.Invisible Man Returns

4.Invisble Man

3.Son of Frankenstein

2.Frankenstein

1.Bride of Frankenstein

To be Continued

@ariel-seagull-wings @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @piterelizabethdevries @the-blue-fairie @princesssarisa @countesspetofi @amalthea9 @barbossas-wench

[cutekittenlady]

Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 5

I just need one.

Just to steady my nerves.

JUST. ONE.

GLUG

GLUG

GLUG

Ohhhh thats the good stuff.

Okay Polly. You can do this. Just walk out on that soundstage. And, i dunno, act?

Dear lord this is like third grade talen show all over again. Only this time I don't have Hugh to dig the hole.

......

The filming... actually turned out okay? It was pretty standard fare hero schlock but ah well.

And hey, i actually have a fan!

Hmmm this is going straight into my veins.

Dont tell my mom.

Your lucky I've had my lemonade hit today old man.

Welp. Guess I'm a move star now.

hehe.

Oh shoot it's dark. Uhhh is Pop Roxie still running his boat? I did say I was gonna do all the gym matches so I kinda gotta go to Castelia right? Hnngh maybe I'll come back to do more films later?

At least after getting a set of wings or something to get here and back again in a jiffy.

I wind up running to the pier in the rain.

Okay Hugh I'm here, sorry I took so long. See there was this bald guy with a really unfotunate name and-

Whaaaats going on here?

What like.... like the terrorist group? I mean lets not jump the gun here Roxie. I mean just cause theyre dressed kinda funny doesn't mean we can just jump to conclusion. Besides even if they WERE Team Plasma they wouldn't just admit to it. Nobodys that-

... Wow okay so... you guys are like... actually that dumb then?

Look I- No I get you wanna make some big dramatic speech but I- Stop cutting me off you RUDE LITTLE-

Hugh, baby, do NOT cut the Polly off when shes speaking! You know what happened in third grade.

Anyway Hugh goes off on this whole hate filled speech about how much these guys suck. And I expected some kinda edgy response but instead.

Home slice. You were chased... by Lillipup? Dude I hit a Lillipup with a bike when I was, like, five and it was flattened like a pancake. Sure, I got banned from riding for, like, ten years but my point is that anyone who runs from a Lillipup, a Lillipup right?, has no right joining a terrorist organization.

God its the third grade all over again.

Hope you have a shovel Hugh.

Oh sweetie.

We're gonna bury you.

Plasma Grunt sent out a Patrat against Bentley and you can just tell that Bentley has a chip on his shoulder over the Gym battle because hes raring to go. Patrat starts with bide after Bentley wraps him up, after that I had Bentley use growth while Patrat stored energy. Next round Patrat releases the energy and Bentley hit him with vine whip. That combined with wrap gets the little rat int he red. Patrat manages to forestall hi defeat with detect but one return later and its over.

After defeating the Patrat Bentley learns Leaf Tornado.

The Plasma grunt and his buddies have enough sense to run off before we can really get going and run for their lives.

Its okay Hugh you didn't have a shovel anyway.

Uh... Pretty sure thats a YOU job? Your the gym leader here.

However Roxie gives me the HM for Cut before running off.

Well Hugh guess we have a free HM now soooooo

Deep inhale through nose

Yeah okay.

Your lucky were friends Hugh.

The things I do for friendship.

Thats what I DOING! GAWD

Look its not like we're even going to find them! If they're really in a terrorist cell theres no way they're just going to be standing out in the open like a jackass saying "Come and get me Polly"

.... Bentley.

Go loose buddy.

Hey look its a purrloin.

And now its dead.

Just like old times. Old times being, like, the day before yesterday. Or whatever.

Aaaand the Plasma grunt runs away.

Hugh get her!

I... you... She ran RIGHT PAST YOU!

YOU HAVE A PIG WHO BREATHES FIRE!

wHaT... i DONt.... THIS IF YOUR VENDETTA!

oh please do tell

Okay she said they have a boat. Castelia City has a port. Hmm Okay.

I... we were JUST there Hugh! We'd have been better off just waiting in Virbank for them to come back and then jumping out at them from behind a trash can! Or dragging them into an alley to get info or something!

Arceus Dammit Hugh! This is YOUR revenge quest! I'm just tagging along cause Prof. Juniper asked me to complete... the... pokedex....

You know what Hugh, you uh, you go on ahead. I have some stuff I gotta... take... care of....

Shit shit shit how many pokemon do I have to catch?!

Ran into a shaking bush and caught an audino on the way to the pokemon center. Shove THAT into the PC for now, what else....

Route 19... Route 19 gotta start with route 19. Habitat mode dont fail me now!

GOT IT!

YOU. IN BALL. NOW

DANGIT YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN THE BALL

ARIES GT OUT THERE AND PARALYZE THAT CRETIN!

YES

IN BALL

CAUGHT

MOVING ON

DAMMIT OF COURSE THE FIRST PURRLOIN I FIND HAS LIMBER

AAAAAAAHHHHH

[transboysokka]

What Am I Doing With My Life:

Chris watches Twilight New Moon for the first time

Okay “”new moon”” this must be the werewolf one then

These violent delights have violent ends omg don’t ruin a good quote Bella

Girl where are you is this the handmaids tale

Anyway she’s looking good

Suddenly having a delayed reaction to the end of the last movie when Jacob is like “my dad paid me to tell you to break up with Edward” like lmao what was that

Daddy Charlie

Nice to see an evolution to their relationship though

Also thank GOD the terrible blue color grading seems better

Digital cameras lmao remember when

Do her friends just like avoid Edward lol

Anyway the real reason Edward won’t turn her yet is he wanted her to be legal first

Oh no “Jacob” and the pushing her hair behind the ear

Yikessss

Hey aren’t dreamcatchers Ojibwe in origin

Alice and Bella are crushing on each other

Wait what can jasper do does he have any discuss ability or

Not to ONLY be nitpicking but usually Romeo and Juliet is part of the grade 9 curriculum in most us states, not grade 12

Oh my goddddd is that good omens guy, I’d know that nose anywhere

Bella’s gonna hurt edward so bad isn’t she lol

Her wanting to be a vampire is already getting so annoying though

why is she having a midlife crisis about being 18 like come on

Damnnnn they can’t even control themselves if she gets a paper cut like RUN girl

Wait is Edward like… a Christian? Lol tragic and awkward

He’s like “u wouldn’t be sexy to me if u were a vampire”

Nice (not) to see the terrible music streak continues into this film too

That shitty truck is my favorite character in this

Why does Edward keep dressing Like That

Lmaoooooo “I love you forever” “we’re skipping town, see u”

Definitely just dissociated a minute and came back like “WHY am I watching this??”

She fell asleep in the woods and now everyone’s looking for her lmao

Okay one decent song so far across two movies

Why is she so in love with Alice

Why is she so pathetic

Charlie is just Done tm and like same

“It’s just not normal, this behavior” TELL IT CHARLIE

Jessica is so real

BELLA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

Keep talking to Alice soooooo gay

So was Jacob NOT a werewolf at the start of the first movie? Is that what these suddenly buff comments are about?

I’ve said it before but lautners voice is SO annoying and it’s just bc it’s my hometown accent lol

Another bad song

“What’s up with you and age?” Seriously

God this weird ass edgy act

Oof three way movie date with child Jacob and awkward ass school guy

Wow this guy must be puking for a long time

Wow Jake chill Jesus

Wtf did he like JUST become a werewolf

Why is it raining for drama and sexiness

What was with all the Romeo and Juliet in the beginning… there was like apparently no thematic reason for there to be that big of a push for it

Anyway yeah Jacob doesn’t believe in shirts anymore clearly

Is this whole franchise just a gay metaphor

What is he trying to get her to remember??

Lol “it’s a huge secret” *guy gets angry and wolfs out in front of bella*

But WHY do they all need to go around shirtless lmaoooo

And why did Jacob have to cut his hair about it

Such a gay metaphor oh my god

One more good song

Oooh a good song fading into a bad song

LISTEN I know they gotta pay rpats but these weird apparitions are so overdone

Yeah this wolf thing also sounds dangerous…. Like you change if you get angry??? RED FLAG!!! REDFLAG REDFLAGREDFLAGREDFLAG

Are any of the other movies gayer than this bc if so I gotta watch them when I was maybe planning not to

Bella’s super dumb

Oh her girlfriends back

Or is this a trick

Oh lolol

Why would she just give up Jacobs secret like that lmaooo

Fuck I gotta keep watching these movies just to see what keeps going on with Bella and Alice

Wtf why would Edward call them and wtf is going on why is he so dramaticcccc

The Romeo and Juliet tie ins are coming back I’ll give credit where it’s due. Wasn’t expecting anything to actually come of it lol

They won’t even let him die lmfao he went all the way to Italy for that??

So suddenly Alice can see everything the fuck??

But can she see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch

EDWARD WHY are you so goddamn dramatic

Definitely would not have expected this aesthetic from a twilight movie. It’s very action thriller

BRUH they are so confused about each other

I liked this move so much better than the first one so far and I now realize that it’s because Bella and Edward were apart for most of it lolllll

Edward put your damn shirt back on

Wow such Vampiric Council vibe

Oh yeah right why CANT Edward read Bella’s thoughts did we ever talk about that

Wow damn van helsing blood????

Damn why does EVERYONE have to be so dramatic

Oh this old song and dance again Bella just BE a human damn

What if Edward and Jacob and Bella all just fell in love together huh what then, problem solved

idk man I’d be so bored if I had to live forever with the same partner lol

wow I can’t believe I’m a nearly 30 year old man who wants to know what happens next

Like is this shit GOOD no but now I Gotta Know

[d3ad-on-arriva1]

heyyyy have you read the httyd books :O i know u mostly blog abt the movies but the books are soooooo good

you know what contreverstial opinion i rlly did not like the books all thay much. like i much prefer classifying the dragons and looking at their stats and stuff and the dragons just arent the same in the books. and ik that hes sorta marysue but I LIKE NIGHTFURY TOOTHLESS OK. common garden or whatever the book is is boring…. i also dont like that they can talk. not as if i dont have my grievances with the film adaptation because I DO. i really do the third movie was ASS. but thays for another time i suppose. that being said ive actually never read them thru ive read the first one which i still have but i just thoight it was boring…. the things im autistic about in the movies just arent in the books so they just dont butter my eggroll really. i do wish that camicazi could have exsited in some way even tho she was split into ruff and astrid. not enough female charcters for my taste and actually hate the wing maidens they defeat the whole “only berkians ride dragons” thing like whats the point if they had the razorwhips the whole time yk. theres like ruff astrid and heather theyre the only women it doesnt really do it for me. anyway thats totally off topic but thank u for the ask mwah

[lgg5989]

Church Encounter Blurb Request

Hey guys! We ( @barbiewritesstuff​ and I) are back with something that was requested soooooo long ago but that we wanted to release in its rightful order!

I hope you enjoy this and please see my masterlist for more Church Encounters and Top Gun content! This can also be read on Ao3!

No moodboard today! Just a picture of our favorite aviator!

Tagging: @roosterscock @sydneyhlove​ @mygyn​ @inky-sun​

With one hand on your swollen tummy, you lowered yourself onto the wooden lawnchair they had set out in front of the firepit. Bob and Maria had already begun, spearing their marshmallows onto some sharpened sticks as they waited for others to arrive. By the time they did, their marshmallows had blackened to perfection and their conversation had changed from wedding planning to highschool friends through the intermediary of Clueless, the 1995 masterpiece starring Alicia Silverstone.

“My friend Marie and I always used to pretend we were like, Cher and Dionne,” Maria said, “Like -- we were like fourteen, mind you -- we’d dress like them, we’d try and like set up our teachers, it was really fun,” she laughed

“Marie and Maria?”

“Both our moms were really into The Sound of Music,” she shrugged, “It’s a shame, I don’t see her much anymore…We stopped hanging out when she went to college out of state and when she moved back, we always said we’d meet up and then never did…”

Bob hummed, “I used to have a friend called Yves that I met when I started racing,” he said, “I just got my learner’s permit so I was what? Yeah I think I was sixteen, anyway, I had a friend called --”

“Whoa there bud, back up a bit. You used to race? Like race what? Karts?” Tony asked, bringing blankets. He handed you a furry plaid one and deposited random ones on each of the remaining empty chairs before distributing the remaining three between him, Bob and Maria.

“Yeah I started go-karting when I was 7 and then I moved up to cars,” he replied.

“Shit,” Tony swore, impressed, “Like Nascar?”

“Yeah, I never made it further than the regional touring series, though,” he said, sounding disappointed, “Either I didn’t qualify or I DNF’ed but I never had much luck so I quit. It’s an expensive hobby, I didn’t want to sink too much money in it if I wasn’t going to amount to anything… Then I did some bull riding, I was good but I saw an accident happen one night and I figured it wasn’t for me either,” he added

“Wow, so you’ve literally never been on time in your life,” you teased, trying to lighten the mood a little and Bob looked at you with a grin. When Maria looked away, he stuck out his tongue at you and you feigned outrage.

“What were you going to say about your friend Yves?” She asked, once she saw your joke hadn’t done the trick and Bob still looked a little green. The sound of her voice roused him from his thoughts but he blinked at her a few times before his brain made sense of the words she had said.

“Oh yeah! I had a friend called Yves, when I was sixteen. We were hanging out after practice one evening when we found a film in his dad’s basement, err, I think it was called ‘Days of Thunder’? It came out around the 90s. Anyway it was loosely based on Tim Richmond and his crew chief Harry Hyde, and we were OBSESSED with it! We’d like take turns being Tim and Harry and it was just great and then obviously I left and we lost contact…” he trailed off, “We still text sometimes, mainly birthdays and Christmas but yeah, we went from joined at the hip to barely talking in the space of a year… I heard he’s moved away from Nascar now, I think he’s doing F1 in Europe.”

“Which team was he with? Please tell me it was someone good,” Tony said, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry man, I think it might have been KBM,” he said and Tony groaned loudly

“Did Bobby tell you another one of his terrible jokes?” Jake laughed, limping on his foot support boot to sit by your side, bringing two mugs of steaming hot chocolate. You padded your tummy with the blanket and then balanced the mug on top, hiding both of your hands in the warmth again.

“Nah, did you know your buddy here used to race for Nascar?” Tony said, pointing at Bob with his own marshmallow spear. Bob swatted it away with his own stick, accidentally dropping it to the floor. When he picked it back up, the sweet had mixed in with blades of grass and bits of dirt.

Bob looked at it in disgust. Maria fished a tissue out of her pocket and presented it to him. He tried using it to remove the marshmallow, but due to the sticky nature of the candy, half of it stuck to the wood anyway. In the end he resigned himself to removing the obviously gross bits.

“Just regional and for like a year,” he answered.

Jake paused, looking at Bob a moment before asking, “Whoa hold on, I thought you did barrel racing?”

“No, that was bull riding,” Bob said with a slight sigh and a crooked grin on his face.

“So when did you find the time to work construction?” he asked, sounding a bit confused.

“Oh, I only worked part time, and whenever they needed me, which wasn’t all the time. And I mostly did it whenever the high school wrestling season allowed for it,” Bob said, his eyes on the ground.

Tony looked at him a moment before commenting, “Goodness, you had a busy childhood…”

“Yeah… Didn’t really want to be home much…” Bob answered, trailing off, his eyes taking on a hundred yard stare.

“How did you even get to talking about Nascar anyway?” Jake asked, trying to change the subject.

“We were talking about high school friends,” Maria added, her hand resting on Bob's thigh.

Jake nodded, “Can’t contribute, sorry,” he said, “I wasn’t exactly popular for most of high school,” he added.

“Err, I beg to differ,” Maria said, giving him a pointed look, clearly trying to jog his memory.

Jake suddenly seemed very interested in his shoes, “Yeah… Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right,” he said.

“Care to fill us in?” Bob asked.

“Stacey Callahan,” Maria replied, a sour expression passing over her face. Tony, already five beers deep into the evening and entirely unable to read the room, decided to speak up, “Oh! I heard she’s back in town!”

“Wonderful, Antonio, thank you for your contribution. We don’t speak her name here,” Gio said, suddenly appearing to their left, where the light of the flames made him look like a ghostly apparition, “We’re also going to move you away from the fire. Any more alcohol and I’m afraid your breath might catch on fire.”

“I don’t actually know who Stacey Callahan is,” Bob insisted.

“My ex-girlfriend,” Jake replied, glancing at you guiltily.

“And my ex-best friend. Or so I thought. Turns out she wasn’t a friend at all,” Maria said, her voice turning a bit dark.

Gio leaned forwards in his chair, and surprised the group with a loud, “That fucking bitch --”

“Language!” Giovanni Senior grumbled, making his arrival with both of his daughters-in-law all the more appreciated by the fact that he had brought an old fashioned radio with him and several cassettes.

“Stacey Callahan,” was all Gio needed to say.

Giovanni grumbled in response, “What are you doing wasting your time talking about that hussy?”

“Just talking about high school friends and acquaintances,” you replied quietly, surprised by his coldness.

“She ain’t a friend, and I wish she hadn’t even been an acquaintance,” Jake whispered beside you.

“You okay?” you asked, your voice as quiet as his, barely audible over the crackling fire.

“I’ll tell you later,” he replied, “In private.”

“Tell you what,” Tony said, and you heard the Seresins all draw a collective breath of apprehension when he pointed at you and swayed dangerously close to Bob, “I like you. You scare me sometimes, but I like you. I’m happy Jacob married you,” he said, giving you a sappy smile and a hiccup.

“Yeah,” Gio agreed, “You scare the shit out of me, and let’s be honest half the time you do it on purpose, but then again so does Jake so that makes y’all the perfect match in my eyes.”

“Who are we talking about?” Isabella asked, her arm around Nonna’s as she guided her towards a chair.

“Jesus Christ, do we have to start recording our conversations so you guys don’t interrupt us every five seconds?” Maria asked, it earned her a sharp smack on the head with a rolled up newspaper Nonna had brought to stoke the fire.

“Guarda il tuo tono,” she warned. As soon as Nonna turned away, Maria rolled her eyes, clearly thinking that her tone hadn’t been that disrespectful. It earned her another slap with the newspaper, this time from her mother.

“We were saying that Jake and Y/n are a very good match,” Giovanni filled them in.

“Sooooooooooo much better than Jake and --” Tony leaned forward conspiratorially. He lowered his voice to a whisper, “Stacey Callahan,” he finished.

The whole group took a collective breath, a mix of feelings in the air that had you wanting to get up and go back inside, then Nonna spoke, “Stop talking about that rotten girl. Y/n how is the baby? Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, thank you. They’re very active tonight,” you said with a smile, rubbing the little fist protruding just under your ribs with your fingers.

“How about we change the subject?” Jake said brightly but a pained expression on his face, talking about his ex-girlfriend had clearly brought about some painful memories and he was eager to run from them.

“Hmm,” Maria agreed, also eager to talk about anything else, “Y/n, that pasta you made was amazing,” she told you. Around the bonfire, despite the thick cover of darkness, you could see them all agreeing, nodding enthusiastically at the statement.

“What was it again?” Sofia asked, rocking baby Bianca in her arms. The child, now almost one year old, was suffering from mystery pains, which usually cropped up after mealtimes and made it hard for her to sleep. Even now, she sniffled and let out little whines that broke your heart.

“Fettuccine Alfredo,” you replied

“Never heard of it,” Nonna replied and your brow shot up

“Oh, it’s the American name for Fettuccine al Burro, Nonna,” Maria explained, “And it has cream, I think.”

“It does,” you confirmed

Nonna hummed, as if deciding whether or not the addition of cream to her beloved pasta dish was enough to go back on her previous compliment, “Real parmesan?” she asked sternly.

“Yes ma’am,” you replied, “I think Jake would divorce me if it wasn’t.”

“Damn right I would,” he joked.

“Real butter? No margarine?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, sipping from your mug

“Very good,” she said, dealing her verdict with a smile in her voice, seemingly happy with the way the interrogation had gone.

Gio whistled, impressed, “Mamma Mia,” he laughed, “Better than a Hollywood Handshake.”

Sofia, Alessa and you burst out laughing, rousing a finally dozing Bianca. She didn’t seem too unhappy though, the pain had clearly let up for a moment as she giggled sleepily.

“A what?” Giovanni asked

“Paul Hollywood is a judge on the great british baking show. He’s a ruthless judge, but when you impress him, he gives you a handshake,” you explained

“I think they’re worthless,” Tony spoke up in a drunken stupor

“Ay, there we go again,” his wife grumbled with an eye roll. She had apparently had this exact conversation many times before. Every time they sat down to watch an episode, you imagined.

“They are worthless. He’s shaking hands left right and centre. He’s devalued the handshake! It used to mean something!” he exclaimed, swinging the bottle of water Maria had replaced his beer with high in the air, splashing the bonfire in the process. Bianca startled in Sofia’s arms, “shhhhhhh,” he said, looking at the baby, placing one of his large hands on her tiny belly. She let out a happy sigh, the warmth and comfort of her father’s hand sending her straight to sleep.

“They mean nothing!” he whisper shouted

“Okay enough about handshake inflation,” Giovanni cut his son off as he opened his mouth to continue his tirade, regretting having asked for an expansion on the subject in the first place.

“No!” Tony protested, “Paul Hollywood’s devaluation of the handshake must be spoken about! You know what? I’m going to write to the BBC, I am going to tell them they need --”

“Channel four,” Jake added helpfully.

“I am going to write to Channel four, and I am going to tell them -- I am going to tell them -- Honey, what am I going to tell them?” Tony asked, leaning towards his wife

“You are going to bed, Mister,” she laughed

“I am going to tell them I am going to bed, Mister! -- Wait --”

“Right, up you get,” Gio said, standing up from his chair and motioning for his brother to do the same. Tony obeyed, swaying dangerously.

Bob held out his arm to steady Tony while Gio took his time circling around the fire. He eventually got there, and helped his brother towards the house, supporting his weight with one arm around his shoulders. You watched the two walk back towards the house, progressively getting darker as they made their way through the garden.

Suddenly overcome my the need to sleep, you yawned, “I think I might go to bed as well,” you said, pushing yourself out of the chair with great difficulty, heavily helped by one of Jake’s strong arms.

“I’ll come with,” Sofia said, holding her arm out for you to grab, “I think this little lady needs to sleep in something other than my arms,” she added

“She looks so comfortable though,” you said, brushing the cloth she was covered with away from her face so you could see her peaceful expression.

“Maybe, but she is heavy,” Sofia shrugged.

“I can carry her for a bit if you’d like,” you offered, “It would be good practice.”

Sofia nodded, handing her daughter over to you. You moved her a little so she lay upright, her chubby little cheek against your collarbone and her legs on either side of your prominent baby bump. She fit there as though your body had always been meant to carry children like this.

Turning back to bid the rest goodbye, you caught Jake’s eye. He looked at you with a strange expression, his eyes intently staring at Bianca and your bump.

“Goodnight,” you said

“I won’t be long, I promise,” he replied.

Sofia slid her arm around yours once more, using her phone to light the way. Once she reached the porch, she switched it off.

“Do you mind putting her to bed? I need to make sure Tony hasn’t done anything too stupid. Last time he was like this, he tried climbing on the furniture,” she explained

“When was the last time?” you laughed, trying to remember ever seeing Tony without the full use of his faculties

“About twenty years ago… You’d think he’d learn how to handle his alcohol in all that time, wouldn’t you?” she grinned. A thud resonated through the house and Sofia sprinted up the stairs towards their bedroom. You followed behind, quieter and calmer, carrying the sleeping baby up to her room.

Once there in the nursery, you gently lowered her into the crib, removing the muselin away from her little body for barely a second to avoid burrito-ing her into a swaddle. She shivered. You quickly brought up her blanket and pulled it up to her chin, placing her taggie, a large square of fabric with a crocheted elephant head attached to it and a little elephant foot at each corner, between her arms. She nuzzled it with a sigh.

“God of wonder, God of grace, Even when I can’t see Your face,I know You are here. You’re all around. In Your arms of care, I am found. Your angels’ watch around me keep, All through the night as I sleep. Under Your wings, soft as a dove, I rest in Your unending love. Thank You, Father, Holy One, I rest in You, now the day is done. Amen,” you said, stroking her face from forehead to the tip of her nose, her skin so nice and warm against your fingers.

Switching on her nightlight and watching it for a minute as the machine came to life, playing a soothing melody, lighting up the ceiling with projected stars, you slowly waddled your way back to your own room where you found Jake, already changed into his pyjamas. He lay there staring at the ceiling.

“Do you love me?” he asked

“Yes,” you responded, unsure whether this was the set up for one of those ‘would you love me if I was a worm’ questions.

“Why?” he asked, turning towards you. He sported a facial expression of such doubt and heartbreak it made you want to cry.

“Because I do,” you responded with an uneasy laugh, “Because you’re kind, caring, gentle, unbelievably smart and an overall amazing person,” you replied.

Jake stayed silent for a few more moments, mulling over your answer.

“And hilarious,” he said, “you forgot hilarious,” he added with a grin.

“And humble. I clearly forgot humble, too,” you giggled, “Why are you asking your wife, whom you married, and whom you’re about to have a baby with, if she loves you?”

“It’s nothing. The whole thing about Stacey Callahan made me feel wrong, I guess,” he said with a sigh.

“You promised to tell me,” you reminded him.

“So I did,” he said without expanding any further. You got the impression he was looking for the right words, though so you stayed quiet and gave him time.

“Stacey… Started out as Maria’s friend,” he started hesitantly, “Well, they became friends when they got into highschool. Before that they were kind of acquaintances through girl scouts and some mutual friends. I think she may have gone to like, three of the same birthday parties and like one sleepover? Nothing to write home about.”

“But then, about halfway through grade 10, maybe, Stacey started really trying to befriend Maria. We all thought it was cute. Maria never really made many friends, and I’m sad to say it’s probably because three insanely protective older brothers aren’t necessarily conducive to a packed social calendar. But Stacey didn’t seem to care, she schmoozed her way into Gio and Tony’s good graces with strategically timed college care packages, and she even offered to help dad with the horses. Mamma and Nonna were harder but they were no match when she baked a true, authentic, Sfogliatella -- it’s like a sort of shell-shaped filled pastry with a sort of ricotta, orangy filling -- it was vile, but the fact that she tried was good enough,” he finished quietly, pausing a moment before drawing a deep breath in through his lips.

“I wasn’t too keen on her at first. She seemed to be trying a little too hard, from what I heard. I stayed kinda clear of Maria’s friend group and I didn’t really interact with her friends when they came over. And then I met her during a DND campaign my cousin Stephano dmed. She was fun, and I liked hanging out with her so I figured I was wrong and maybe she was just a little… clumsy with people. Maybe she couldn’t really read people well. Like me. So, I gave her a chance, started being friendly, called for her birthday -- just… friendly…Until, obviously, it wasn’t anymore. I don’t know how it happened but one day I was minding my business, trying to be nice and the next I was telling her I might be in love with her in the middle of the highschool parking lot the night of her graduation”

“Stacey dropped Maria like hot coals. The second we made it official, it’s like a switch flicked and everything she did to get into her good books, she did to me. And only to me. She barely ever spoke to anyone else, or when she did it was just one word answers. But never in front of me, whenever I walked in the room, she was all smiles and polite answers. So I didn’t figure shit out until it was too late, even though they all told me about everything, I was convinced they just hated that I finally had a friend -- a girlfriend, who loved me and didn’t see me as the annoying church kid who couldn’t read social cues and needed a speech therapist until age ten. I was just happy I had someone who saw the good in me without knowing about the not-so-good bits,”

“I was so in love with her, I thought I was going to marry her, have kids, grow old, the whole nine yards. And she agreed! She said we’d have the whole Catholic wedding, ten kids, white picket fence thing I wanted,” Jake tried to steady his breaths, tears flowing freely on his cheeks, “So. She said that because it was going to happen anyway, what was the point of waiting? Why not just…” he let out a shaky breath, “Why not just have sex? God wouldn’t be mad at me, considering we were going to get married anyway. I --” he choked out a sob, “I said yes. We had sex, and nothing happened. No smiting from the heavens, no disasters, no real repercussion. So we kept doing it,”

“Maybe the following periods were just a grace period God gave me to realise my fucking mistake and repent but after a while her facade started to crack,” he said taking a really deep breath, “I’ve only ever told one person what happened past this point, and only because Bob saw something he wasn’t supposed to see. Everyone else thinks we broke up because I found out she’d been lying about being a Christian. Not because --” he continued, his voice thick with the tears he was trying to swallow down, a battle he kept fighting despite his already monumental loss as tears flowed down his cheeks in such a volume that it was making his pillowcase wet, “Not because she just got bored of me. We dated for a year, and I thought it was going so well and then, I caught her in bed with my cousin Stephano while I was on break from the academy,” Jake laughed bitterly, “She said she had fun with me but she was in love with him now. She just threw me away. Like I meant nothing.”

“Why would she do that?” you asked, one hand covering your mouth in shock, you desperately wanted to hug him, but you knew he needed space.

Jake breathed out shakily, a pained expression on his face, “She said she just wanted to know what I’d be like.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” you added, feeling like nothing you could say would ever make Jake feel better.

“Trusting people wasn’t easy after that. Especially after I found out the love bombing and getting bored was her whole M.O,” he said, “Trusting people isn’t easy. Guess that’s why I liked casual hookups so much.”

You said nothing. Jake turned his head to look at you, his tears now slightly drying on his skin, turning his cheeks red.

“I trust you, though,” he said.

“I trust you too,” you replied.

With the lull in the conversation, you took a moment to pull your pyjamas on before climbing into bed. Jake moved towards you, resting his head on your chest and taking a few deep breaths, his nose pressed into the side of your neck.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked him.

Jake let out a quiet laugh before answering, “I think you just did darlin’, but go ahead, ask me somethin’ else.”

You smiled at his antics before your face turned serious again, “Jake,” you said, hesitating for a moment, “If you regret not waiting til marriage… Why did you keep having hookups?” you asked quietly, reading between the lines of his explanation and feelings.

He thought for a moment, “I don’t know. I guess -- I guess it’s because I didn’t think I deserved love, but at the same time, it’s nice to have some human contact…” he said, “I lost my way. After she left, I started thinking that, well, I started thinking God wasn’t … Good.”

“Not Good?” you asked, furrowing your brow in confusion.

“No, I guess I thought God wasn’t Good to me. I knew He was Good to everyone else, but I thought He wouldn’t love me. I thought I had finally made Him hate me,” he said, his voice smaller than you had ever heard it. He shifted again to lay on his back, one hand coming to rest under his head. Uncomfortable with the words he was using, he tried to avoid your gaze by staring straight at the ceiling.

“Premarital sex isn’t a death sentence, Jake,” you whispered, looking over at him, wishing you could travel back in time, grab younger Jake by the shoulders and tell him that same thing over and over until he believed it.

“It was to me,” he whispered, “I spent so long thinking I just wasn’t right, you know? I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t make friends… After quarterback Gio and linebacker Tony, I just felt like the broken reject of the family. Especially after Maria was born. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all so much, but I felt so inadequate next to them. I felt like I was disappointing everyone, my mom, my dad, my teachers,... I thought the only one I hadn’t disappointed yet was God, and then I went and fucking ruined it by doing the one thing everyone had always told me not to do.”

“I just felt so awful, and I guess part of me thought that’s what He wanted me to feel? Because in my head I was a monster and I deserved to be punished? And then I got my air kills and it just got worse I think, because not only did I break the promise I made to save myself for marriage, but I also broke one of the ten commandments,” he said, “Bob took a while to convince me that God wasn’t making me feel miserable, I was. And I guess he was right, because you walked into the rec room on your first day as a dagger squad member about a month after that. And look at us now, married and almost parents! I can’t wait for them to get there,” he sighed, “If you had to guess, do you think they’ll be a boy or a girl?”

You recognised a change of subject when you saw one, but not willing to inflict any more pain on Jake for tonight, you avoided prodding any further.

“You know my slice of cake was blue,” you replied.

“I thought you might have seen the light. They’re definitely a girl. She’s definitely a girl,” he said with a grin. The crying-induced swelling of his face was gently going down, and his voice slowly returned to normal.

“What do you think we should name your daughter then?” you asked, laying down beside him in the bed.

“I like Emma, or Julia, or Amelia,” he answered with a pensive sort of tone.

“You like the ‘a’ sound at the end,” you remarked.

“I didn’t even notice,” he laughed.

You thought about what he said for a minute before asking, “No Italian names?”

“No,” he said, an adorable crease lodging itself in between his brows, “There’s nothing wrong with them, but I’d like the idea of them matching us. We don’t have Italian names, neither do they. If that’s okay with you of course?”

“Sure. I like Charlotte for a girl,” you said, “And Christopher for a boy. Or Michael, or James, or Arthur! There are so many nice boy names,” you laughed, slotting yourself in Jake’s arms.

“How about we just see what she looks like when she’s here?” He asked, a sly smile on his face.

“They,” you corrected.

“That’s what losers say,” he replied, nudging you in the side with a finger. The two of you laid in silence on the bed for a few minutes, you running your fingers through Jake’s hair as he calmed down from the previous conversation.

“Babe?” he asked, gaining your attention, “Could you read to me? I want to fall asleep to your voice.”

“Of course,” you said, shuffling so you could sit upright. You reached for your bible on your nightstand and opened it randomly. By coincidence, it landed on the book of Ruth, one of your favourites. Instead of starting at the beginning, you began reading where your annotations left off, the pen and highlighter marks stopping abruptly at Ruth 1:6.

“She set out with her two daughters-in-law to return from the land of Moab, for in Moab she had heard how the Lord had come to the aid of his people, giving them food to eat. She and her two daughters-in-law set out from the place where they had been living and took the road leading back to the land of Judah. Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Each of you should go back to your mother’s house. May the Lord show you as much kindness as you have shown to those who died and to me. May the Lord grant each of you consolation in the home of a husband.” She then kissed them, and they wept aloud. They said to her, “We will go with you back to your people.” But Naomi replied, “Go back, my daughters. Why would you go with me? Do I still have any sons in my womb who might become your husbands? Go back, my daughters. Go your way. I am too old even to have a husband. Even if I thought that there was still hope for me and I slept with a husband tonight and gave birth to sons, would you wait for them to grow up? Would you stay unmarried for them? No, my daughters, for it greatly grieves me on your account that the hand of the Lord has been raised against me.”

You looked over at Jake. His breathing had slowed down, his chest rising and falling with long deep breaths. He looked more peaceful now, the crease in his brow long gone, and the tear stains on his cheeks all but forgotten as he laid in bed, his eyes closed, concentrated on your voice. The only indication that he was still awake was a small twitch of his lips when your hand left the pages of your Bible to brush a loose curl from his forehead. Even then, he didn’t seem too far from falling asleep.

“Ruth Stays with Naomi. They cried out loud again, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her. Then she said, “Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and her gods. Follow your sister-in-law.” But Ruth answered, “Please do not insist on my leaving you or forsaking you. Wherever you go I will go, and wherever you live I will live. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die and be buried there. May the Lord do this to me and even worse if anything other than death separates me from you.” When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.”

By the time you finished, Jake was snoring away, barely audible over the breeze carried through the open window. The noise made you smile and suddenly overcome by tiredness, you lowered yourself down in bed. You curled up into Jake’s side, resting one hand on his chest and whispered a prayer for the both of you. Seconds after saying ‘Amen’ you fell into a well-deserved slumber.

[all-or-nothing-baby]

8 GET KNOW ME BETTER/CATCH UP WITH ME QUESTIONS

tagged by @greyhavenisback. thanks love! <3

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RELATIONSHIP STATUS: currently single and honestly mostly very content with that, i just. miss kissing. bc kissing is nice. so, kind mutuals, kiss-o-gram for cassidy when? lol.

FAVOURITE COLOUR: petrol/gasoline tones. or the less ostentatious answer of purples and blues and greens.

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: justin timberlake's cry me a river bc me and my fourteen-year-old put it on about an hour ago bc he was trying to argue that bringing sexy back is a better song (it's not and i will take zero criticism). i'm not usually a fan of JT's music—he's better at acting imo—but that tune is just *chef's kiss* and a proper classic early 2000s BOP!

LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: just watched some of the brilliant twin peaks: a limited event series (2017) as i'm currently nearing the end of a rewatch of the entire run (og s1+s2, the FWWM film, and The Return). it was ep2 and the song that's performed as the credits roll is shadow by chromatics, so. that.

THREE FAVOURITE FOODS: i could never! plus most of my faves i can't eat anymore because of my evil MCAS. but three faves today? 1. gruyère cheese on sourdough toast with lashings of worcestershire sauce (which i ate for lunch earlier today) 2. fry's turkish delight which i used to think tasted like perfume when i was a nipper but love now. i had one the other day for the first time in ages and i want MORE. 3. spicy phở, nom nom. although i now have to make my own bastardized version bc there are soooooo many vegetables i can no longer eat, grr. still good tho!

LAST THING I GOOGLED: 182 centimeters in inches bc my brain seems to live in the 1970s, pre-metrication, even tho i was born in 1980. i think its maybe bc it's what my folx used? and even tho i was taught metric in school it just never stuck, ha. anyway, the reason is i'm looking for a second-hand sofa bed on ebay and i live in a basement flat so correct dimensions are A Big Thing.

DREAM TRIP: anywhere not-warm with mountains and forests. maybe rural germany or romania? i just want to breathe in the mist and lay down in the damp earth until moss and lichen begin to grow over me tbh. think castle lecter in lithuania, where hannibal grew up... tbh, my chronic illnesses and now shitty mobility means i prolly won't actually get to go abroad ever again *sobs* BUT i believe one can and should always dream :)

ANYTHING YOU WANT RIGHT NOW: i'll take a body that works properly pls! i'm going for a meal and then to a peaky blinders ballet (!) tomorrow eve and instead of feeling pure excitement for it, i'm mostly anxious tbh which, bleugh. also, i'd like to hang out at home with my best mate bc i was too ill for us to catch up over christmastime, meaning i've not seen him in over a year as we live at opposite ends of the country :( but he's hopefully coming to stay with us at easter, so yay.

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tagging, play or nay: @shealynn88 @sharkfish @novemberhush @jmeelee @petrichoravellichor @rauko-is-a-free-elf @witchsickness @demonlandline @slytherkins @stevewhoreington @raisesomehale @halinski @eusuntgratie @wulfnerd @harrgrove @jimmypricegf @thisgirlsays22 @catboynecromancy @deklo @grey-sides @lovebillyhargrove @deedoop @suometar @ltleflrt @sailorsally @mjulmjul and anybody else who wants to have a pop pls just consider yourself tagged!

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman. again.

i have done this so much. the first movie was so long. this ones even longer. by like ten minutes but still. ANYWAY LETS GET GOINGGGG IM SO EXCITED

it should be noted that i spent thirteen dollars on this film and its so worth it

the opening music is SOOOO GOOD

this little motif that plays here is played a few times thru the movie and i love when movies do that sjdhfksjd its so fun to have little music cues that carry over thru the film

i heard someone say this was their least favorite spiderman and it breaks my heart i love it sm

anyway. richards killing things.

so basically hes killing the little spiders they worked on and just kinda running off rn

this is a surprise scene thatll help us later

i know what hes doing and why hes doing it but its a secret so i wont say until it comes up

OMG HEYYYY SO REMEMBER IN THE FIRST FILM WHEN THEY WERE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK. THAT COMES BACK NOW.

he was recording a little video diary thingy =]

okay droppin him off at mays weve seen this part already

i know its important but cmon. places to be.

yippee mary and richard on the plane!!!

DUDE. MARY DIDNT WANT THIS. "did you see his face? hes never gonna understand. hes just a little boy." SHE DIDNT WANT TO PACK UP AND LEAVE HER SON THIS ISNT HER FIGHT AJKGHKJAHGS JUSTICE FOR MARY PARKER

"we're going to spend the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders, never feeling safe. we cant do that to him." funny u say that richard

okay mary is off to the bathroom. in walks flight assistance guy.

i feel like i gotta explain every little detail of this film bc it means so much to me and i need u guys to understand KJGHSKJDGH

flight assistant guy is washing his hands off and theres a little bloodddd on himmmmm yikes

richard sees but doesnt say anything bc obv

oops flight assistant has a gun. and hes locked mary in the bathroom. and he has a parachute. and he stole richards laptop. AND HE HIT MARY WHEN SHE ESCAPED.

fight sceeeene marys down

this scene is fun but theres no way in hell richard parker would be able to fight AND WIN

the planes going down they shot out the window

flight assistant guy is now out of the plane JKGSKJHGJK richard and mary go down with it but marys already gone before they crash, richard dies in the crash as far as i know, like thats whats implied

parents dead. time for spiderman.

PETERRRRRR PETER PARKER GUYS LOOK ITS SPIDERMAN ITS PETER HES ON SCREEN GUYS GUYS LOOK ITS PETER

THIS OPENING SWINGING SEQUENCE. I WANNA BE HIM SOOOOOO BAD U GUYS HAVE NO CLUE.

FUN FACT the movie made a mistaaaake and i caught it like my first watch. so theres this truck carrying plutonium that was stolen from oscorp that peters abt to go catch, right? and they say that plutonium is highly explosive. WELL ITS NOT. PLUTONIUM 238 IS BARELY A DAMN FISSILE ISOTOPE. SPIDERMAN. ITS USED AS A SOURCE OF HEAT AND ALPHA EMITTERS FOR SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. STUPID MOVIE. and look they couldve just taken the name or something bc it sounds cool but cmonnnn its wronggggg

yeahhh the driver of the stolen truck is aleksei sytsevitch. remember that itll come back later.

this chase music is so good i love the score for this film

another motif here while hes swinging that comes back later ehehe

we are nine minutes in. argh.

"hey, mr criminal? hey, my names spiderman, you can call me webhead, you can call me amazing, just dont call me late for dinner, you get it? not a shaker, areeee you a hugger?" "i am killer!" "woah, okay!"

makes me laugh every time its so dumb

peters banter is so fun in this movie i love it so much

omg max dillonnnnn okay so hes walking with all these blueprints and they fall into the street and no one helps him but peter. guess if thatll come back later.

peter catches all the vials of plutonium. except for one. hes a bit dumb.

okay so peters o the front of this cop car and he looks over into the cop car next to him and who does he see but mr stacy! from the first film! "nick thats impossible hes dead" oh just wait GKHSKJDGHDSKJ

HIS RING TONE IS THE "spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can" AND I LOVE IT

HIIIII GWEN MY WIFE I ADOREEEEEE THIS WOMAN

oh yeah theyre graduating today and peters late bc hes in a high speed chase. if i was allowed to decorate my cap it wouldve been spiderman themed.

HER SPEECH AGH im not gonna quote t bc its so long but it means the world to me

oh yeah aleksei sprays peter with the windshield wiper water thing i love that

gwen stacy the woman u are

again i love how they did gwen like they didnt just make her a basic love interest like in tobys films they actually gave her depth

OKAY SO. PETER RUNS ON STAGE TO GET HIS DIPLOMA. AND HE DOES THE DRAMATIC DIP KISS THING TO GWEN. APPARENTLY THAT WASNT SCRIPTED. it couldve been but its so much funnier to think it wasnt

HIIII AUNT MAYYYYY

theres a deleted scene here where the graduates are with their families where flash runs up to them in his cap and gown all excited and he tells gwen like "i made it i knew i could bc u believed in me" and they shouldve kept it bc it makes me so happy

"i know the next thing your unvle ben would say, dont just follow the path, make your own trail" "ralph waldo emerson" "no" "what do you mean, no?" "ben told me he made it up!" I WISHHHH BEN WERE HERE

ugh the way they both laughed over ben i love these two

aunt may says that she wishes ben were here and peter goes "yeah, and my folks" and mays smile drops a bit, her demeanor changes ever so slightly and she just "...yeah" THIS DOESNT SEEM IMPORTANT AND ITS NOT BUT IT MAKES SENSE LATER

im gonna finish this scene then continue in a rb this is getting long

i love that may tries to take a photo of peter and gwen and gwens like "cheese!! =D!" and peter is so awkwardly stood there like "cheeeeeese 😐"

she invites him to dinner with her family and she says shes gonna do her speech for him "over and over again, all night long" bc he missed ittttt aghhhhhhh

THIS. THISSSSSS. he watches the stacys take their family photo and then mr stacy appears in the background, and we flash back to the first film, his death, where hes telling peter to leave gwen alone. i am soooooo sad.

okay this dinner scene is devastating so! next post! i love this movie i have so many thoughts and were only 17 minutes in

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Sissi, die junge Kasierin (1956) [Sissi, the Young Empress]

This was a really good one and I had a great time watching it. I felt a little bit of dread towards the end, but not nearly as much as in the first film, and I think that was mainly because it somehow just feels wrong to have a film about Elisabeth end happily, but thats a me-thing

And I mean, the throughline of the film was Elisabeth and Sophie fighting over her daughter so there were some scenes there that I did find as upsetting as that scene in the first one where they talk during the ball, but that 'upsettingness' didnt stick with me after the ending because that conflict ultimately does get resolved. Also, this ending of her being crowned queen of hungary didnt give me that feeling of "oh noooooo, Im just watching this poor girl lock herself in this horrible situation" that the wedding at the end of the first movie gave me. I also thought the tone of this film was a lot better overall, the first one really frontloaded all of its romantic silliness and then most of the drama was in the second half, whereas this one felt a lot more balanced. It also felt a lot less like it was actively trying to be funny, like there were a couple of jokes curtesy of that comic relief-major from the first film, but it was mostly just a little silly, which I liked a lot

Other than the stuff with Sophie, this film also dealt with politics regarding hungary and Elisabeth and Franz Joseph becoming king and queen of hungary which I thought was pretty interesting, even though that plotline did feel pretty shallow. It was basically just, Elisabeth loves hungary and the people of hungary love her and Franz Joseph wants to mend relations with hungary and he does that with the help of Elisabeth with basically no issues other than 'his mom and ministers dont like that' and it all works out fine. But idk, I did still like it

Then there was of, course, Elisabeth and Franz Joseph's relationship which I thought was very cute. I was really rooting for them, which is surprising because I was honestly expecting to really dislike him during the Sophie-stuff and him taking his mother's side, and I mean, he's not my favorite but I mostly just wanted him to listen to Elisabeth and work things out with her, like I wasnt mad at him at any point. Now that I think about it, I wasnt really mad at Sophie either even though I feel like she was about as hateable as you can get without going completely over the top. huh. I guess these characters just dont inspire a lot of emotion in me, other than Elisabeth but that goes without saying, Im sure you could already tell that I sympathize with her a lot from my last review lol

I think the sets were of about the same quality as the ones in first film, but the costumes were soooooo beautiful, much better than the ones in the first one imo. I especially liked the light blue dress Elisabeth wore when she went back home after having that big fight with Sophie and Franz Joseph, the dress she wore to the ballet and her coronation dress, they all looked absolutely gorgeous. The only outfit in this whole movie that I thought looked bad was the one she wore when she accepted becoming queen of hungary. It was this red dress with white accents and she wore a green jacket over one shoulder like a cape and its like "oh, I get it, its the hungarian flag colors" except the jacket is a completely different shade of green than the one in the flag and it clashes with the dress and it looks bad. Also, this isnt something that looked bad and its not even really a complaint per se, but all the women were wearing this bright red lipstick and I found it very distracting. Theres even a scene with Elisabeth's younger siblings (who I think are like 4-10 years old) where you can see that one of the girls is wearing it which was pretty weird. But I guess that was just the trend at the time

Anyway, pretty much my only real criticism of this film, other than it being kinda shallow which isnt really a criticism I have anyway because I still think its good, is that the editing was kinda choppy at times. Like, sometimes they would cut from one scene to another scene and it would feel really jarring and abrupt, or they would do a fade-transition but instead of smoothly fading from one scene into the other or fading to black before fading to another scene, they would start to fade out and then have a hard cut to the next scene before the previous one was even gone, it was quite unpleasant.

I dont have anything to say about the actors, they were the same ones from the first film giving the same good performances, so that's pretty much it. It's a good film, I liked it a lot better than the first one and Im very excited to watch the grand finale of this trilogy, Im very curious what theyre gonna do there.

I only have one last thing to say that didnt really fit anywhere else:

Im having a lot of trouble wording this properly, but you can really see how this film ended up influecing Elisabeth: das Musical. Like, during her big argument with Sophie and Franz Joseph, Elisabeth ends up saying something along the lines of "So youre on her side in this, against me" (thats a pretty bad translation tbh but Im not in good headspace for that rn) which is very similar to one of her lines in Die ersten vier Jahre

[todayisafridaynight]

FIRST EP OF TSUMA CLEARED... GODDDDDDDDDDDDD WHY IS KEISUKE SO CUTE HE'S GOT ME SQUEALING THROWING A FIT KICKING MY FEET CLAWING AT MY FACE TEARING MY HAIR OUT RIPPING MY SHIRT OFF [<- CUTENESS AGGRESSION] [NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING I DID ALL THAT] [ALSO REGULAR AGGRESSION. CAN YOU STOP SAYING INSANE SHIT IN PUBLIC]

The music is so lovely too... and the direction and set dressing and Overall Production... chef's kiss... ALSO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO PLAYS SHIRAISHI IS SO TALENTED WHAT THE HELL WAS ANY OF THAT... Tsutsumi is amazing though for real, he makes Keisuke seem so much older post-timeskip and it's wonderful to see his old self starting to show again EVEN IF HE IS. BEING A DUMBASS. Huge fan of Tsutsumi playing depressed motherfuckers... I LOVE Takae though... I understand why he was so obsessed with her I get it...

See this is why I can't be too hard on Akira I'm a grown man acting the same way about Tsutsumi😭😭😭I'M GLAD YOU LIKED FIRST EP... THIS IS A RELIEF... Yoshizawa is a nice young man don't worry about him <3

ALSO THRILLED TO HEAR YOU SEEMED TO ENJOY THE MOVIES TOOOOOO ACAB except the team and Ogata nobody does terror|sm like you king... I wish more Tsutsumis could escape prison and/or death But Fair Enough... Oh and this is what Ogata's letter says if you were curious, it's manga only:

Inoue, You weren't crazy at all, in my eyes. You'll make a fine SP. An SP is a police officer in the Metropolitan Police Department Public Security Bureau assigned as a full-time bodyguard to people who don't deserve protection. That job description assumes they are, without exception, willing to throw their life away in a crisis if it means acting as a shield for those people. That's what it means to guard another's life.

ALSO at one point Tsutsumi was at a panel for something else and a couple members of the audience were being unruly and trying to get on-stage to get to his female co-star, but he and another co-star held them off... I think he actually fell off the stage in doing so but he was fine and he joked that SP would start filming that day... I love himmmmmmm

NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAAAAAN HE'S SOOOOOO CUTE IT DROVE ME INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) 'tsuma' was the first tsutsumi show i watched and the impact it left on my brain was monumental... i loooove keisuke so much i cant stress that... SO IM GLAD YOU WATCHED THE FIRST EP IM GLAD YOU GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN !!!!!!!! CUTEST OLD MAN EVER I PROMISE !!!!!!!

nono maida is SO good considering her age, i was so impressed with her performance throughout the show... AND YEAH TAKAE IS AMAZING she really is an epic woman, no wonder keisuke and mai cant let her go (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) unfortunately 👁️👁️;;

OH BUT YEAH THE SHOW'S SO CUTE SO FAR I JUST FINISHED THE SECOND EPISODE !!!! tachibana looking right RIDICULOUS but its cute (❁´◡`❁)

AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE LETTER MAN so real.... i love that..... chaotic good kind of behavior i fucks with him.... he's valid in my opinion for his methods.... nishijima was lame anyway...

poor tsutsumi at that panel tho im glad he protected his co-star and im glad he was able to make light of the situation- im mortified for him but id also be totally mortified if i was one of those rowdy people like please be civil hes a guy just like any other guy (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

[maggiecheungs]

Toshiro Mifune in Tokyo Sweetheart (1952) dir. Yasuki Chiba

[nonsensegnomes]

bestie what are your top nine favorite movies atm

oooh good question <3 well like i said i'm discovering i've covered way more ground in tv over the last few years (which i'm gonna rectify soooooonnnnnn i think, got a lot of exciting recs from that recent tag game!!) so this is pitifully basic, but like in terms of what i'm thinking about Right This Moment:

the hitcher – slightly deranged about this ever since i saw it last week, a movie perfectly tuned to my preferences <3 love love LOVE the main performances & the dreamy atmosphere & the cinematography; just! the americana of it all!! plus there is soooo much to dig into, like the folkloric resonances (i mean the vanishing hitchhiker story HELLO), the gay panic (as in the actual original homophobic meaning) every shot of the first half hour is just LACED with, that scene where he puts the coins over his eyes in the diner.... obsessssssssssed.

the black phone – okay so i watched this last night & it might fade from the faves over the next few days but rn i can't stop Picking at it. genuinely Disturbed me a couple times so 🙈👍 ethan hawke ATE, the little girl playing the sister KILLED it, and my friend pj should've had more screentime so the sets of siblings could parallel each other or something but wcyd ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i am a little I Can Fix It about some of its clunkier plot points, but the main conceit of the phone fucked soooooo hard i can forgive it 💖

it 2017 – listen. i have been feeling this rewatch approaching all summer & as soon as i get my grubby hands on a projector (as god intended this movie to be watched <3), august is going to be thee month for it!!! idk it just has a very dear place in my heart 💕 like everyone else i did have a 2019 breakdown despite its many Many flaws, but the first one remains That Bitch w/ the perfect pacing & ending... coming of age film that just happens to have a clown in it babey!! also always going to care about eddie kaspbrak unfortunately 😔

nausicaä of the valley of the wind – my fave ghibli movie!! What Is There To Say. it was the first one i saw before i was aware everyone went insane about like hmc & princess monoke (which i also adore!!), so at first i was just Captivated by the animation genius & the Weirdness & the design of those bugs... it just plucks at something in me, like this is PRECISELY the kind of post-apocalyptic story i can enjoy, like what a coherent & hopeful environmental message that's, well, not subtle but certainly managed with a very deft touch!!!

fight club – sorry for being a film bro :/ anyway go look at this important piece of LGBT history

the death of stalin – love a comedy where everything falls apart around & also due to a bunch flailing back-stabbing incompetent idiots, so of course an armando iannucci joint always hits the spot <3 just SUCH alarming pettiness & cruelty that you have to laugh in the face of it ohhhh my godddddd

southern comfort – okay so kinda cheating with this docu, but it just impacted me sooooooo deeply the first time i saw it & i still go back and rewatch every once in a while. despite how sad it gets at the end, it actually is one of those things that gives me Real hope bc the whole thing is just about love & community & the radical Comfort transness allows you to find in yourself 💕💕💞💖 i would definitely rec it to absolutely everyone, it's only 90 mins & absolutely Life-Changing; i think there was a clip going round here a while ago about how affirming t4t love can be, and imo that just sums up the whole vibe. rest in power robert eads ✊😔

fire walk with me – well this is my favourite movie of all time despite the fact that i can NEVER ever watch it again ✌️ like i am well aware that it is technically kinda all over the place, what with david seeing fit to make the first half hour just "fbi procedural david bowie cameo now THIS character says something ominous & incomprehensible" but also. i Do Not Care bc the next hour + a half made me cry so hard it took me like 5 hrs to watch it; jesus CHRIST she was just a kid who needed someone to reach out and help her!!! laura i would have done so much cocaine with you & kept you alive forever!!!!!! also lynch's weird cryptic storytelling just appeals to me personally bc the way the meaning comes more from the audience's emotional response makes it kinda work on the same level as a folk tale for me, which i loveeeeeeeeeee unpicking; saw a post once about fwwm being structured like the saint's life of a martyr and !!! that is exactly It!

stardust – an all-time favourite, i mean the costumes! the pacing! the fun twists on fantasy tropes! the sheer CAMPINESS of it all!!! the way the plotlines converge in the end WOWED me as a child and to this day every time i watch another fantasy movie i'm like. Well You're Not Stardust Are You :/

& honourable mention to those films always occupying some part of my brain, that i can mouth along with from memory just because they are so comforting to me: tsn, the princess bride, 10 things i hate about you, pride 2014, bend it like beckham, saw (this nearly made the main list but like. too obvious.), the parent trap (1998 version), the karate kid

[cevans16]

I Don’t Hate You, I Like You

Summary: Sebastian seems to get along with everyone except you. Why is that?

You had the role as Tony’s best friend in the Avengers. You had been part of the MCU since the beginning of the franchise. You always got along with the cast, you were real-life best friends with Chris Evans however there was one exception, Sebastian. No matter what you asked him, he always seemed to only give you one word answers, you weren’t sure as to why since you had always been friendly to him. 

You guys were reuniting for the next installment of the Avengers. You had arrived earlier from your vacation in Australia with Chris Hemsworth and his family whom had invited you to their place in Byron Bay. You were looking for your best friend Chris Evans but had yet to find him however you did spot Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan. They were both alone conversing with each other, you decided to walk up to say hi, you noticed Sebastian was very talkative with Anthony until he saw you coming up to them. You honestly had enough with him always being quiet when you were around, you didn’t want it to be like this again when filming for the next months so you decided to confront him about it. 

“Hey Mackie!” you said pulling him in for a hug, “Hey how’s it going?!” he replied excitedly. 

“Good! I just came back from Australia, hey Sebastian” you said smiling up at him. He whispered a shy “Hi” to you while looking down and away from your eyes. 

“Soooooo I didn’t know THIS man actually talked” you said to Mackie referring to Sebastian. “What do you mean? He talks all the time!” Mackie said. 

“No I have to pull the words out of him when I try to talk to him” you chuckled, you saw Sebastian’s cheeks turn pink but you decided not to comment on it. 

“Well its because he’s my friend” Sebastian replied a little harsher than he intended to. You felt yourself gasp at his response, you didn’t understand why he had always been quiet with you but you didn’t know that he disliked you too. Mackie didn’t say anything, he himself was surprised at Sebastian’s remark to you. 

“I see, so it’s personal. No worries Sebastian, I guess not everyone can get along right” you said cutting him off when he tried to say something else. “Anyways have you guys seen Evans?” you said looking around for any sign of the Bostonian. Luckily he was coming up to you guys just in time to save you from the awkwardness. 

“Heyyyyyy, I’m glad you’re back, you wouldn’t believe the shit that happened to me while you were gone. What’s up guys” he said to you and the boys. 

“Tell me about it over snacks” you said instantly pulling him away with you to head towards the snack bar they had set up. 

“Fucking shit, what the fuck did I ever do to him” you said annoyed to Chris

“What are you talking about?” he asked you confused

“Sebastian, I thought he was shy but no. I basically asked him why he’s quiet with me and he said well Mackie is my friend in like a douche-y tone. I didn’t do shit to him” you rambled on to Chris while you stuffed your face with a chocolate bar. You noticed his lips curve up in a devilish grin. 

“What’s so funny?” you asked him

“You like him don’t you?” he asked. You didn’t like Sebastian, you couldn’t, especially with the way he was towards you. You did think he was a handsome guy and you always felt butterflies whenever you saw him. But no one could know that, not even your best friend. 

“Pfttt no he’s not....no” you said stumbling with your words. 

“Yeah that was convincing” he snorted. 

“Shut up Evans, you’re supposed to be on my side” you said defensively. 

“I am but as a best friend I can also tell you have a thing for him, maybe you should tell him” he said. 

“Oh fuck off, not after what he said to me five minutes ago....but I DON’T like him” you enunciated the last words. 

“You keep telling yourself that sweetheart” he smirked at you. You playfully smacked his shoulder. You turned to look where Sebastian was, he was in the same place you had left him and Mackie. He looked over at you, shyly smiling, you didn’t smile back but returned an eye roll. 

The Following Day

You were all cooped up in a van heading towards Jimmy Kimmel’s show. You were sited in between Evans and Hemsworth. The three of you together were chaos in the best way possible; very loud, slightly obnoxious, childish, but the cast wouldn’t have it any other way. The three of you were uncontrollably laughing about something dumb Evans had said, you were to the point of tears.

Sebastian was on the seat behind you next to Mackie. Mackie had noticed that Sebastian always stole glances your way but he never said anything until now. 

“You know maybe you should tell her how you feel” Mackie whispered to him

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Sebastian said in his best way to sound nonchalant.

“You know EXACTLY what I am talking about” Mackie said motioning his head to your direction, “plus you should apologize for yesterday, that was a little fucked up” he said. Sebastian nodded his head in agreement, “I will apologize but that is it” he replied. Sebastian did like you, he liked you a lot but was afraid to overstep any boundaries. He hated that he always froze whenever you would try to talk with him and definitely hated himself for how he responded to you yesterday. He felt like an asshole when he saw the look on your face, he didn’t blame you. 

------------------------------------------

“Alright! So you are all going to play musical beers!” Jimmy Kimmel said, next explaining the game. You weren’t much of a beer person but loved to compete so you agreed to participate. 

“Okay so the final team is.....Chris Hemsworth, Robert, and (Y/N)” Kimmel said. 

Robert, Hemsy and you walked to form your group together.

“We’re going to win” Hemsy said excitedly

“You bet your ass” Robert replied. You were going to say something when you heard Evans taunting you, he was paired up with Sebastian and Mackie. You were really hoping that Evans wouldn’t mention anything about you to Sebastian but you weren’t entirely convinced. 

You were going around the circle dancing around when the music stopped, somehow Sebastian mixed up the rules and began to drink from a red solo cup. “Not yet Sebastian!!!” Jimmy yelled at him causing Sebastian to spit out his drink back into the cup, the audience yelled in disgust and laughter. You were laughing about it feeling sorry for the person who would have to drink it.

Ten minutes later it was down to your team and Evans team for the tie breaker. You were moonwalking back and forth when the music abruptly stopped, you realized where you had stopped in front of....Sebastian’s cup. You tried to play it off by slowly moving onto the next part of the circle but Chris Evans being Chris Evans made sure you had to drink it. 

“No, nooo sweetie stay where you are” Chris said to you laughing

You turned around for Hemsworth or Downey for any defense, they looked at you with puppy dog eyes hoping you would do it so you could win.

“Just take one for the team” Downey said

“Right since you’re not the one that’s ABOUT TO DRINK SEBASTIAN’S SPIT!” you said 

“We are ABOUT TO WIN (Y/N)” Downey yelled back

“FINE, YOU OWE ME” you yelled. The chaos with the situation was causing the audience to erupt in laughter and sympathy for your own situation.

You took a deep breath, grabbing the cup off the table, you turned to look Sebastian dead in his eyes and said “Cheers to your spit” before chugging it down quickly. Sebastian stood there frozen, one he felt bad that out of all people it was you, two he didn’t know why he was turned on by how you took it like a champ.

“It wasn’t that bad” you said chuckling, “WE WIN SUCKERS” you said slamming the cup towards Evans who was rolling his eyes even though he knew you would do it to win. 

You, Robert and Hemsworth jumped up and down in excitement for winning, they brought the three of you mini trophies that said ‘Champions of Musical Beers’.

“Yes! And I would love to nominate myself as MVP. It took blood, sweat and spit to win it” you joked. 

Once you were done with the show, you all collectively walked towards the nearest bar. You were deep in conversation with Robert about space shuttles while Evans and Mackie were grilling poor Sebastian about his crush on you. 

“He doesn’t like her, he lovvesss her” Evans taunted, giving Mackie and opportunity to join in, “And the plus side, she’ll drink your spit”

“Can you guys stop” Sebastian said laughing while he ran his hands through his long hair, “I’m in deep shit aren’t I?”, “YEP” Mackie and Evans replied in unison. They came up with a plan to get you and Sebastian alone. 

You walked inside the bar ordering your food while the rest of the cast grabbed a high-top table on the corner of the place. You thought they were there until you only saw Evans drinking the last of his beer there. 

“Where’s everyone else?” you asked looking around, Evans turned to you shrugging. You sat next to him, taking a batch of fries into your mouth, you had done the wrong thing in drinking two cocktails first rather than eating. 

“This is a cool place huh” Chris said taking his food from you, “Yeah it’s neat” you replied. About five minutes later you were finishing up your fries, Evans taking the occasional one when you noticed Sebastian was heading to your table. You rolled your eyes at the sight of him, he caught that. 

“Someone isn’t happy to see me” he commented once he was in front of you and Evans. 

“Mhmmm we’re not friends remember” you replied snarkily

Sebastian sighed, “Look about that I am so so-”

“Save the bullshit, we don’t have to get along. Where’s everyone else?” you asked. 

He shrugged, “Fuck I know, bathroom, upstairs drinking, some left”

“Well I am going to get another drink want one?” you asked Evans directly, he nodded at you. 

“Can I sit with you guys?” Sebastian asked, you looked at Chris who nodded, you shrugged and walked away heading back to the bar. While you waited for your drinks you looked around to see any sign of the rest of your group, no one in sight, where had they gone you asked yourself.

You came back with three drinks, one for you, one for Chris and one for Sebastian, you were annoyed with him but felt bad in not asking if he would like a drink. 

You passed the beers to Chris and Sebastian who politely thanked you and was surprised that you knew what he normally ordered. 

“I’m leaving back to the hotel” Chris abruptly said

“What, you just said you were having a good time here” you replied

“Nahhh I’m getting sleepy, here Sebs you can have my drink” Chris said pushing the beer over to him. He was about to get up from his seat when you grabbed his arm. 

“Wait for me” you said to Chris, you didn’t want to be alone with Sebastian. You didn’t catch Sebastian’s eyes open in panic that their plan was about to fail. 

“(Y/N) you still have your drink and Sebastian doesn’t like those so don’t think about passing it over to him” Chris said. 

You looked over to Chris and then Sebastian, you picked up your cocktail chugging it quickly before hopping off your seat when you toppled over.

“Whoah, one too many” Chris chuckled catching you in time

“Exactly, I will not be here any longer” you said 

“(Y/N), can I talk to you?” Sebastian spoke up loud enough for you to hear. 

“WHy you already said sorry remember” you said annoyed to him

“(Y/N) come on” Chris said in defense

“Why, he clearly doesn’t want to be my friend, so I’m not kissing his ass” you said even more annoyed. Chris looked you dead in the eyes, an expression he didn’t give you often but it basically said to not be an asshole.

“Fine, two minutes” you said to Sebastian

“After you” he said getting up from his seat

“I’ll wait for you outside” Chris said to you

You walked ahead of Sebastian towards the restrooms where it was a bit quieter and more private. You stopped to face him, he leaned on the wall fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket, not saying a word. The alcohol in your system had kicked in because you were feeling extra blunt. 

“Okay, here’s the thing Sebastian. I get along with everyone, I love to hang out with you guys, we work so much and it never feels exhausting. I tried to be your friend the moment I met you, what I did to you I have no fucking clue, but we are not in elementary or high school for you to be a dick to me” you said.

You calling Sebastian a dick irked him, that wasn’t him, he didn’t want you to think that about him.

“I’m not a dick, you’re not entirely nice to me” he said

“That’s bullshit, I tried to talk to you the most polite way. What you want me to get on my fucking knees and suck your dick?!” you said feeling yourself get agitated with him. 

“Uhhhh yes” he blurted out, oh shit he thought. 

“Excuse ME?! Fuck this” you said walking away from him. 

“(Y/N)! Fuck I’m sorry that’s not what I meant, yes I do, noooo, okay shut up for a second Sebastian” he started rambling following you out the bar. You quickly walked towards Chris who had in fact waited for you. The look he saw on your face wasn’t good, he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it for doing this to you.

“He wants me to suck his fucking dick” you exasperated to Chris. Chris laughed at the comment but was confused to how the conversation went there. 

“(Y/N) stop please” you heard Sebastian say, “What?!” you yelled at him this time. 

“I don’t hate you....I like you. I thought you were fucking gorgeous the moment I met you but I don’t know why you make me so fucking nervous that I freeze, I’m afraid I am going to say the wrong shit like I just did two fucking seconds ago back there. I like you more than a friend and being a dick is not an excuse, I didn’t mean for yesterday to sound mean. I am so sorry and I hope you forgive me” he said exhaling loud at the end.

“Annnnnddd?” Chris added in

“Fuck.... and I hope you would like to go out on a date with me...please” Sebastian said to you more quietly and shy this time. 

“Let me try this first” you said walking to Sebastian, you pulled his face down to yours to kiss him. His lips were soft, the taste of alcohol and the smell of his cologne intoxicated you more than you already were. He kissed you back passionately, cupping his hands around your face, you guys fought over dominating each others tongue until you won by tugging his hair. 

“Uhmmmmm guys” you heard Chris pull you out of your intimate moment. You pulled back to look at him and realized the rest of the cast was there. 

“Well I fucking walked in to an amazing show” Robert joked.

You laughed, feeling yourself blush, you weren’t one for PDA. You turned to look at Sebastian who was blushing just the same. 

“So is that a yes on a date?” he asked you

“Definitely a yes, although I won’t suck your dick” you teased him. He gasped at you saying that out loud in front of the cast.

“Well YET” Lizzie said unexpectedly 

“Lizzie?!?!!” you yelled over to her

“Whatttt? You already drank his spit, swapped it with each other” she said shrugging. 

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Reggie//i can't let you go now that i got it

Request: your last reggie mantle imagine was soooooo cute it was.... BIG FAV i'm still grinning! could you please do one where reader and reggie have been best friends their whole lives? she's super protective and sweet to him and like? she's been in love for years but has been hiding it well?? she gets him to come away with her to college because 'screw this town' and they live together? but eventually she starts going on dates and it makes him realize he's in love with her too?? mutual love confession

hey! so before you go any further trigger warning mentions of abuse, specifically around reggie and his dad. it’s not in detail but it is mentioned a few times so don’t read if that upsets you. the last thing i want you to be is sad. i hope you all have a good day anyway, whether you’re reading this or not! (title is from Børns ‘electric love’)

- For 18 years 

- Reggie Mantle has been the only constant in your life 

- Even when you were babies he was there 

- Your mom’s sat beside each other in baby class, cooing and awing over each other’s kids

- All while 6 month old you stole 6 month old Reggie’s toy

- And then he cried so hard he vomited on not only himself but you as well 

- Which then made you cry even louder 

- And then your mom’s were asked to leave 

- So instead

- It became a weekly thing for your mom to take you to The Mantle’s 

- While her and Mrs Mantle gossiped and drank tea 

- You and Reggie would hit each other with various stuffed toys. 

- As you got older 

- The weekly visits turned into daily ones 

- Especially when you moved three houses away from him

- You and Reggie started to see each other more than your own parents did

- Your mom still went over once a week

- But when she arrived you were always usually there

- Either stood in the kitchen getting a snack 

- Or lying on Reggie’s bed watching an awful movie he just ‘had to show you’ 

- They usually involved a hybrid of two animals

- Sometimes mythical, sometimes not 

- But in all of them they were usually taking over the world

- They also always had the same four actors in

- But despite how much you protested 

- ‘reggie? are you being serious? we watched this one last time.’ 

- ‘no, we watched molemaid last time. this is medusamaid. they’re completely different’ 

- ‘oh, sorry. my mistake’

- You actually secretly loved them 

- Because they made him happy

- You would watch in awe as he laughed at stupid jokes 

- And how his eyes would always light up at a particularly gruesome part, no matter how badly CGI’d it was

- You also listened to the countless of theories as to how ‘hurrik9’ is clearly the prequel to ‘hellhounds’ because ‘they’ve got the same main character! it doesn’t matter if they’re not played by the same person. y/n, they’ve got the same name.’ 

- You also listened to him complain about the inconsistencies between ‘werewombats 1’ and ‘werewombats 2’

- ‘no matter how much the director stands by the decision to make them turn on each other, despite the first film clearly stating that that’s the last thing they’d do.’ 

- But the thing you loved the most about it 

- Was that he was only ever this way with you

- You’d been sworn to secrecy when you walked in on him watching ‘dinocano vs uniquake’ 

- And you promised never to tell anyone about his secret passion

- Or the fact that he had a stack of notebooks filled with plots and mini scripts for his own films. 

- Reggie may have gotten popular

- But to you, he’s still the same Reggie you’ve always known.

- Whose scared of clowns but won’t admit it

- And cried when watching Edward Scissorhands but if anybody asks it was you

- And who hates hot chocolate, but its the only thing he’ll drink when he’s sick 

- He also only eats pink marshmallows in months ending in R

- And white ones every other month 

- But in December he has both...because its Christmas.

- Yeah, you and Reggie are best friends 

- Always have been, always will

- But it doesn’t stop you from wanting more.

- It doesn’t stop the longing looks when you think no one is watching 

- Or the lingering touches whenever he hugs you

- It doesn’t stop your heartbeat picking up whenever he walks into a room

- Or how you forget how to breathe whenever he looks at you

- You look forward to everyday, even if you have a pop quiz or homework you only remembered the night before

- Because he’s going to be there to make you smile

- Even if he isn’t doing it on purpose 

- You look forward to the countless of texts he sends

- No matter how weird or ridiculous 

- Like when he text you at half three in the morning to ask if birds were real because somebody told him they weren’t.

- You then got a text straight afterwards telling you that it would be great idea for a plot

- And you still answer every single one

- No matter how stupid they are 

- It’s really a wonder how you get any sleep with your phone being on loud all the time

- But it’s worth it

- Especially when you get texts like 

- ‘he’s done it again’ 

- Reggie’s relationship with his father complicated to say the least

- You remember when you were younger they used to be best friends 

- Reggie idolized him 

- And you’d have conversations in Reggie’s tree house, about how much he wanted to be just like his dad when he grew up

- But when he did grow up

- And started to develop a personality that didn’t just revolve around football 

- Reggie no longer wanted to be just like his dad 

- He wanted to be the furthest thing from him

- The first time it happened 

- Reggie tried his hardest to hide it from you 

- And for the first time in 8 years 

- You went two days without seeing each other 

- On the third day though 

- You’d had enough 

- So you went round to see him 

- But when you asked his mom if he was in 

- She lied and told you he had just gone out 

- Even though you could clearly see him trying and failing to hide on the stairs

- So you did what any normal friend would do 

- You climbed through his bedroom window 

- With about as much grace and steal as you could muster 

- Which surprisingly, wasn’t a lot

- And you gave him the fright of his life 

- ‘what the hell are you doing here?’ 

- ‘you’re avoiding me’ 

- ‘i’m not. i’ve just been...busy’ 

- ‘doing what? fighting?’ 

- ‘what?’

- ‘your eye’ 

- ‘oh yeah...that’ 

- That was when you knew something was wrong 

- You’ve known Reggie your entire laugh 

- And you know the three things he’ll always boast about 

- Girls, football and fighting 

- ‘what happened?’ 

- When he told you 

- You couldn’t believe what he was saying 

- You wanted to find Marty Mantle and give him a black eye...see how he likes it 

- But Reggie begged you not to do or say anything 

- ‘it’ll only make it worse’ 

- ‘but its wrong. he should be locked up’

- ‘who’s going to believe me?’ 

- ‘me’ 

- ‘see...it was only one time anyway’ 

- So you agreed, reluctantly 

- And you so wanted to believe it

- But then a few weeks later he turned up to school with a bust lip

- A month after that another bruise around his eye that he tried to hide behind sunglasses 

- And by the time graduation rolled around 

- Both of you had lost count of the sunglasses and excuses 

- For three years he’d been trapped in a house with a father who thought hitting was the same as love 

- And a mother who pretended it didn’t happen 

- But now college was round the corner and that meant a chance for both of you

- Or at least thats what you thought

- ‘you didn’t get in?’ 

- ‘i didn’t get in.’ 

- ‘to any of them?’ 

- ‘nope’

- ‘reggi-’

- ‘it’s fine. my dad has always wanted me to work for him. i guess this will make him happy. even if i am the cleaner’ 

- ‘reg-’ 

- ‘please go’

- That summer was the longest one of your life 

- It was even longer that the time Reggie had to get his appendix out and so you couldn’t hang out for a 3 weeks.

- For two and a half months 

- You heard nothing from Reggie 

- You text, called, DM’d and even E-mailed

- But you got nothing 

- You went round at all times of the day to try and talk to him

- And every time Mrs Mantle answered and told you he was either out or busy

- Doing homework was her favourite excuse

- And Reggie has only ever done homework when you were doing the majority of it 

- You even tried climbing in through his window again 

- But he locked it 

- So you watched every morning as he dragged himself into his dad’s car

- Wearing a stiff suit and a miserable expression 

- No matter how hard you tried to get to him before the left 

- How fast you ran or how early you got to his house

- They were always long gone before you managed to get anywhere close to him

- You missed the midnight texts about nothing 

- You missed his stupid jokes 

- You missed watching an entire room light up whenever he walked in

- You missed the way he made you feel, even if he was unaware of it 

- You even missed watching his god-awful movies 

- You just missed him 

- And when he missed your leaving party 

- That was the final straw

- At 7am the next morning 

- You shoved the last of your boxes in the back of your car 

- Said goodbye to your parents 

- And drove away

- Three houses down the street 

- Making sure your parents had gone back inside before stopping 

- You sat outside for a few minutes 

- Trying to think of what to do or say 

- You knew his mom would answer the door

- And that you’d get the same excuses 

- You also knew from the past few experiences that his window would still be locked 

- So you threw rocks at his bedroom window in the hopes that when he’d check to see what it was, he’d leave it unlocked 

- And he did! 

- You watched from behind a bush as he hung his head out the window to look around

- His brow furrowed and hair messy

- Clearly he’d just woke up

- You couldn’t help the smile twitching at your lips 

- You’d missed that face 

- Climbing the window was a lot harder than it used to be 

- Mr Mantle had taken the ladders away 

- Another reason as to why he sucked

- But you managed eventually 

- And you almost died only twice 

- Which is good 

- It’s better than three 

- You landed on the carpet with a loud thud that made him jump half way across the room

- ‘y/n. what the hell are you doing here?’

- ‘it’s moving day. and i must say i’m very disappointed at the lack of preparation on your part. have you even started packing yet?’

- ‘it’s not funny y/n’

- ‘i know. do you see me laughing?’

- ‘i’m being serious y/n. just leave’ 

- ‘no’ 

- ‘what?’

- ‘the last time you told me to leave, i listened and i didn’t see you for two months, so no’ 

- ‘what about college’ 

- ‘what about it?’ 

- ‘it starts in three days’ 

- ‘i know. and if we stand here any longer we’re going to miss it. so get packed and lets go. it’s a nine hour drive and i’m not doing all of that alone’ 

- ‘you know i can’t go’ 

- ‘says who?’ 

- ‘my dad, every single college i applied for and me’ 

- ‘listen to me reggie. you are my best friend, you have been since we were babies. there’s not a part of my life you haven’t been in. do you really think that would stop at college?’ 

- ‘we didn’t spend the summer together’ 

- ‘and it was the worst summer of my life’ 

- ‘same...but that might have been because i was spending 12 hours a day in an office’ 

- ‘rude. but i’ll take it!’ 

- ‘i did miss you though. it was weird not seeing your face everyday’ 

- That makes your cheeks heat up and you have to force the flutter in your chest to go away

- ‘it always cheers me up’ 

- There it goes again and you want to claw at your chest until it’s no longer there 

- Hope is a terrible thing to have when you’ve been in love with your best friend for your entire life

- ‘you always cheer me up’ 

- Oh dear...

- ‘i love you...a-as a friend. this summer has been the longest and most depressing for both of us. i don’t want to live the rest of my life like that. i need you reggie. so please pack your bags, say screw you to your dad and to this town and lets go’ 

- ‘what about money? where am i going to live?’ 

- ‘we’ll figure that out on the way there. just hurry up’ 

- And he did 

- You and Reggie threw the majority of his belongings into any bag you could find

- He took all the money he’d been saving out of the poorly disguised fake plant

- And wrote a nice little note for his parents 

- You also may have added a few choice words to it 

- But what Reggie doesn’t know won’t hurt him 

- And the two of you climbed into your car and never looked back

- The 9 hour car ride was the most fun you’ve ever had 

- It was like you were trying to fit the entire summer you’d lost into those few hours 

- It was filled with off key singing 

- And stories of your summer 

- His favourite being about Archie being tricked into going skinny dipping by himself

- You laughed loudly like nothing had happened 

- And cried silently because everything had 

- Thankfully when you arrived on campus, it was already night 

- So you managed to sneak Reggie into your room

- And when you nervously told your roommate 

- She just grinned at you

- ‘it’s fine, my boyfriend will probably be staying over a lot too’ 

- ‘oh, he’s not my boyfriend’ 

- ‘we’re not together’ 

- ‘...okay’ 

- She said with a knowing smile and you and Reggie shared a look

- And a year filled with adventures started

- Reggie got a job as a bartender with a little help from Veronica 

- And you started your classes 

- But nothing is ever easy 

- At least not when it involves you or Reggie 

- It turns out hiding a whole human is a lot more difficult that you anticipated. 

- It involves Reggie squeezing into your closet 

- And a whole team of people to get him to and from the showers 

- But it was also difficult for another reason

- Because it was easy to hide your feelings from him when you lived in separate house 

- But now you’re sharing a room

- And a bed 

- And every time he would wrap his arms around you 

- And pull in for a half asleep cuddle 

- You’d forget how to breathe 

- You’ve never been more excited to wake up

- Because he’d be all messy hair and parted lips with just a little bit of drool coming out of them that it would be cute instead of gross 

- And when he said good morning in the same deep, tired voice 

- You wanted to live in that feeling forever 

- But then 2nd year rolled around and everything changed 

- It all started when you moved into your own apartment 

- You knew you had to but there was a part of you that hoped you could keep everything the same 

- You found a tiny, two bedroom flat that you could both just about afford 

- Reggie was so happy to have his own room

- ‘i won’t have to sleep next to you and your freezing cold feet anymore’ 

- ‘i’ll just sneak into your bed when your fast asleep and put them on you then instead’ 

- ‘i thought we were supposed to be friends’ 

- It took a few weeks to get used to an empty bed 

- But eventually you started to sleep properly 

- And it was quite nice to have your own space again

- It meant you could study without having to listen to ‘nighthawk nightmare’ 

- Honestly, you don’t really know what the plot of that one is 

- But you’ve still seen it 7 times 

- You may be in love with him but it doesn’t mean he can’t be annoying sometimes 

- And you were happy with going back to admiring from afar

- Your heart can’t get broken that way

- In fact a small part of you thought he felt the same way 

- That one glimmer of hope you felt a year ago

- Came back all of sudden 

- And soon 

- You became aware of the lingering touches 

- And the gifts he’d buy you just because 

- He also asked what you wanted to watch for your movie night 

- And he’s never, ever done that unless you were sad or sick

- And even then, when you broke your arm a few years ago, he chose the film

- The way he looked at you suddenly felt different 

- You would feel him staring, but when you would check he would always be scrolling through his phone 

- And you’re sure the was a little bit of flirtiness in his tone whenever he spoke to you 

- But just because you think you can’t be burnt if you stand far enough away from the fire 

- Doesn’t mean that the sparks can’t jump out and get you anyway 

- Because all of sudden Reggie started bringing girls home 

- And every time you saw a t-shirt that wasn’t yours on the sofa 

- Or a pair of shoes discarded by the door

- You felt yourself die a little

- After a few weeks of this 

- Something in you snapped

- You’d spent the majority of your life pining after some boy who saw you as nothing more than a friend 

- And sometimes a small part of you thought as just an escape route

- So you moped for a few weeks before deciding it was finally time to move on

- Reggie would only ever see you as a friend 

- And that’s fine 

- The only way to move on, is to move on. 

- So you waited for the right guy to move on with 

- And there were a few 

- But none of them were right 

- Until you met Daniel 

- Sweet Daniel with curly brown hair and dimples

- Who studied history 

- And spent his days sitting in the coffee shop on campus

- For a few weeks the two of you spent your short interactions stealing glances and exchanging shy smiles 

- That evolved to small talk with flirty undertones

- Until finally he asked you out 

- And you said yes 

- And you kept saying yes to each date afterwards 

- They were fun too

- He’d take you to museum's and on picnics and at night he’d pick you up and you’d go star gazing 

- He would make you laugh when he’d tell you a joke 

- And make you blush when he’s whisper in your ear while staring up at the sky 

- But he wasn’t him

- And that killed you

- It doesn’t matter how many time he takes you to watch some unknown indie film thats supposed to be the greatest thing ever made

- It has nothing on standing outside the only cinema in town that’s showing ‘sharkcano vs tigerana’ in the freezing cold with Reggie wearing an absolutely ridiculous costumes that Reggie threw together last minute and somehow roped you into wearing too.

- But what hurt even more was watching how Reggie acted around you when you and Daniel started dating 

- He looked hurt whenever he saw the two of you together 

- And you would watch him roll his eyes whenever you mentioned him 

- Until eventually he would just avoid you all together 

- Do you know how hard it is to avoid someone when you’re living in the same 2 bedroom flat that barely gives two foot to yourself? 

- It’s hard 

- But Reggie finds a way 

- Eventually you’re more roommates than friends 

- And you really don’t know how much more you can take 

- You feel like you’re about to break 

- And Daniel can see that too

- So on Friday night he invites you to go drinking with him and his friends instead of staying in and moping 

- ‘bye, i’m going out’ 

- ‘wait’ 

- The speed of which he runs from his room and into the living room where your stood, startles you to say the least 

- ‘what?’

- ‘don’t go out with him.’ 

- ‘why not? what ever george has told you about is a lie. george does that. he once told a bunch of people that you streaked in an old people’s home and almost killed his grandmother’ 

- ‘because he isn’t me’ 

- You’ve dreamt of those words 

- Built them up in your head for years 

- But in all of your daydreams, there’s never been a scenario like this one 

- Not one where you’re about to leave to go on a date with another guy 

- ‘reggie? what are you talking about?’ 

- You need to make sure he’s saying what you think he’s saying 

- Because you can feel yourself hoping again

- And you know if he doesn’t mean what you want him to

- You don’t think you’ll be able to recover

- ‘i love you y/n. you’re my best friend, you always have been, you always will be and i love you.’ 

- ‘reg-’ 

- ‘please tell me you feel the same way’ 

- ‘i-’ 

- In your head you had a full oscar worthy speech planned out just in case this ever happened 

- But now you’re here in the moment. 

- You have no idea what to say

- ‘it doesn’t matter. just leave’ 

- ‘no’ 

- ‘what?’ 

- ‘do you really think i’m going to walk away from you after that? when have i ever walked away from you?’ 

- ‘i-no’

- ‘i love you too by the way. if you care’ 

- ‘shut up...wait really?’ 

- ‘yes i do. i’ve loved you for as long as i can remember so are you going to just stand there or are you going to kiss me?’ 

- ‘i’m definitely going to kiss you’ 

- ‘good’ 

- And he does 

- He’s standing in front of you before you can catch your breath

- His hands reach up to cup your cheeks 

- His lips part as he stares down at you 

- And you’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at you

- Like you’re everything good and light in the universe 

- And like he’s also been waiting just as long for this moment 

- Maybe he has 

- Maybe he’s been waiting all his life for this 

- He just didn’t know 

- You feel whatever breath you had left leave your lungs

- His lips are soft against yours, but he gets his point across 

- And you’ve never been happier 

- All the heartache and tears 

- The laughter and stupid jokes 

- The 3am texts 

- The constant worrying 

- The early mornings and late nights 

- The damage to limbs from trying to fit in tiny closets

- And the scrapes on your ankles and bruising on your legs from crawling through his bedroom window 

- They’re all worth it

- ‘are you still going on your date?’ 

- ‘what do you think?’ 

- ‘good. because they’ve just released werewombats 3’