#anyway i have BRAINWORMS for all these and im trying to work on them ... i promise nskdfs

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Binghe nicknames

Today im reflecting in LBH’s nicknames, like, SQQ’s nicknames for him, fandom nicknames for him and SQH’s nicknames for him

why you ask? Because my brain is full of sv brainworms, that’s all

Now, this may have some inconsistencies bc it’s what I believe and im by no means chinese…let’s start with the most common ones to name a small Binghe

We have things like bingbing, binghe, white lotus, little sheep and bunhe. The first two look fairly straightforward no? From what ive seen, in chinese using a character of a person’s name repeatedly like this denotes a cutesy way of calling them, and calling someone by their name alone (as long as it has enough characters for that) is a sign of being close. LBH obviously loves SQQ calling him Binghe, nobody else gets that privilege! Even NYY calls him A-Luo and not Binghe, even though that is another way to denote closeness, I don’t believe its the same for him!

let’s go with bunhe, this is (as far as i know, do correct me if im wrong) a fandom’s name for the lil guy, im guessing it came from the english part of the fandom since its a play on his name and in chinese the term for bun would be bao/baozi(?) depending on the type of bun so it wouldn’t be as cute to call him baohe(?) sounds like another person entirely lol

but! Bun makes you think of a round white and soft ball, safe and sweet, unless you are of course, not chinese like me and at first you thought of a golden brownish ball of hot bread, which would work anyways bc freshly made bread it’s delicious and soft. Anyways, i kinda prefer the chinese imagery of bun for this dumb reason ill present to you: Bunhe is a soft round baby, you can nom his cheeks and squeeze him and call him only to see him following cutely! Its the best! But also, when you break the surface you reveal there’s a spicy filling that will leave your mouth stinging and your stomach warm and content, the problem is though, that your white little bao is now in pieces and you can’t reconstruct it, the white surface has been stained with the spicy red from hell and the bitterness of betrayal…but the sweet exterior is still there and it has shifted to become a delicious dish filled with the flavor of home.

am i getting too lost?

lets go back to nicknames! SY gives him the nicknames of little white lotus and little sheep. The second one is pretty self-explanatory, LBH follows him around everywhere like sheep tend to do (also, this is why little duckling also works) but! The consensus in the fandom is that he has curly hair right? Well, imagine a little boy with fluffy hair following you around and trying to help you with everything? It’s impossible not to want to pat his head and squeeze him, so little sheep it is.

now, i’ve seen that sv fandom uses white lotus a lot! SY himself uses it if I remember correctly, but i feel like sometimes we forget where it truly comes from and what SQQ is saying when he calls LBH that, its true that LBH is like a flower, whilting or flourishing on command like SQQ is his sun, his earth and his water. But from other novels i’ve read, I’ve realized that calling someone a white lotus is not necessarily a compliment! In chinese slang a white lotus is someone that looks pure and kind, respectful and pretty, just like the lotus flower peacefully and beautifully resting on a pond, but it also tells us that such a person has a hidden agenda, a hidden side to their personality just like the lotus has roots in the dirt, underwater where we can’t see, its growing and taking advantage of the nutrients of the deepest parts of the earth, so it’s someone “muddy” and “dirty” that presents themselves kind, pure and innocent!

Which means- that SQQ is calling LBH this to remind himself that even though this cute lil boy is obedient and sweet now, he will (in SQQ’s mind at least) torture him and show his true colors later on the road, after he has been utterly betrayed. I quite like this nickname because of how innocent it looks at first, and how sweetly SQQ is usually portrayed while calling LBH this, but he actually knows deep down that he is possibly playing with fire, and even so, he chooses to care and to ahow love to LBH -sobs-

LBH post canon ends up with a lot of trauma, attachment issues and insecurities, and SQQ calling him white lotus shows that he knew about LBH’s bad sides since the beginning. BUT. He. Doesn’t. Communicate. That!!!!! This dumbass!!!! (Affectionate)

Now, there’s also the nicknames SQQ-SQH use to differentiate the Binghes, and i find it incredibly funny too. There’s Bingge (Bing from his name and Ge from older brother), not only called older brother bc he is the original, but also because he is ruthless and cool beyond expectations (we see in the extras, that he is very intelligent and cunning, but equally as shizun starved smhw) he is strong and much more serious and bitter than his counterpart, not to mention the sheer number of women he has (which, as stallion power fantasy, would make him “more manly” but that’s another topic), so, older brother it is!

Sv LBH is usually called Binghe or even ‘my son’ by SQH, which i find hilarious bc SQQ hates it, he doesn’t want to acknowledge SQH as LBH’s father even if he is the creator. This is obviously a running joke but it makea me think of SQQ then accusing SQH of also marrying his own son (MBJ) which would be extremely funny and SQH would be mortified.

anyways, LBH is also calles Bingmei (Bing for his name and mei for little sister) and this is where it gets interesting, because they clearly could have chosen didi (little brother) but didn’t! And this reinforces the comedic role of LBH, he isn’t just a gay protagonist, he is a gay protagonist that - following the advise of his (unknown) creator/shishu - acts like a total maiden throwing a massive tantrum to get SQQ’s attention, he cries like a little girl, he tugs on SQQ’s sleeve with big watery eyes and becomes his housewife. Not only that, but his insecurities are exaggerated by his acting and it gives the impression of him having a massive maiden heart that will die dramatically if her husband doesn’t pay attention to her 25/7 (no, the 5 is not a typo), and it’s true that he has a maiden heart, but he can live without the 25/7 attention, he is just that dramatic. And obviously lets not forget about the picture of a previously ruthless stallion protagonist in the transmigrators’ minds actually turning into this kind of person that acts frail and cute for his husband, it’s just too much for them, and so, he gets called little sister, like a spoiled younger sister, the apple of her parent’s eye. Honestly when i first read that nickname I couldn’t stop laughing for a long while.

finally im going to babble about LBH’s nicknames for himself, we have, this disciple and this husband which are very contradictory but funny when used together. This disciple is not a special title or anything, because for LBH, he is *not* someone that should be special in any way, he just wants to be special to SQQ, who he adores and admires and wants to always protect. Many ppl call themselves ‘this disciple’ to address SQQ, its a way to denote their status and their willingness to be taught by him, to have a familial relationship outside of blood. Now, this is important to LBH bc he feels like he belongs somewhere calling himself this, especially bc he had no home before, and after when he was part of the peak he was singled out as special but in a bad way, so I believe that he just wants to belong somewhere, to a home. Later on, its also important to him because its a reassurance that SQQ still recognizes him as his family. This disciple, for SQQ is like a threat, but for LBH is a way of asking ‘do you still want me?’ ‘Do you see im the same person you shared your home with?’ And that SQQ doesn’t dare reclaim him at first hurts him bc he yearns to go back to being his disciple, cared for and protected under his master’s sleeve. But LBH also wants more than that if he can have it, and this is when the abandonment issues kick again. He calls himself ‘this husband’ in tears, because he got what he wanted and what he was sure he didn’t deserve for being himself, it’s again, a reassurance of his position in SQQ’s live and in his heart, it means he has the power to *stay*, which is the most important thing for him.

Ill finish here bc im getting mushy and weepy and i need to write and read more fic, thanks for coming to read my babbles and do tell me if there’s something or some nickname i missed and you want it studied too! 💖

[theminecraftbee]

hiiiii fellow cletho enjoyer im also going insane about secret life and id finally like to put together a cletho playlist to enhance my brainworms did you (or anyone else) perhaps maybe have any suggestions thanksssssss <3<3

you sent me this and I immediately went “oh no I have to be impressive—oh no my music taste is not impressive”, which truly says more about me than anyone else. anyway, some suggestions, and I’d LOVE to hear whatever you all come up with too!!! I’d love a cletho playlist to also enhance MY rotating them.

“Angela” by the Lumineers is on here because the refrain of “Home at last, home at last” makes me weep and now I want to gently hand it to cletho. To be fair, the imagery of the song maybe fits better as either “after everything over all the seasons” or “some fic where they meet up again post-secret life” than secret life by itself. I am just a sap and this goes on like. half my playlists for things that make me feel sappy.

“This Will End” by the Oh Hellos. “No I’m not afraid to die/it’s every breath that comes before.” yeah this is the obligatory oh hellos song I’m handing to cletho. “I can hope how this will end/with every line a comedy./We can learn to love without demand/with unreserved honesty.” it is, once again, one that works better with the context of the entire series than secret life by itself; in my head this is both a song about their relationship and about the things they’ve been trying to learn and get over ALL their relationships over secret life, you know?

“Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Tang is a song about reluctantly and unexpectedly getting hope from something that the singer doesn’t expect. about meeting someone and discovering that you can still have hope in the world after all despite feeling like you should be a pessimist. and like I DON’T KNOW MAN I THINK IT FITS THEM PERSONALLY…

and like. OKAY I AM REALIZING I MOSTLY HAVE VIBES NOT SONGS I CAN JUSTIFY. but I can justify these three. handing them to you. I would love to hear other suggestions too I actually had trouble finding songs with the vibes I was looking for in my listening rotation,,,

[satuwn]

i have decided to randomly infodump about my lab rats as a way to motivate myself to: 1) revamp existing characters old refs and 2) DRAW THE GD REFERENCES OF THE REST OF THE BITCHES (this will probably take me ages still. alas), more rambly details abt the story and characters under the cut

the main characters: Dr. Kitty Whisker and her twin sibling Happy(tbd), Dr. Brainworms, Gummi (comic relief character mostly), Prof. Fuzzybottom(tbd) and Prof. Snakebite (previously known as prof. pinky, i need to redesign him more heavily)

the side characters (these guys may have side stories of their own but theyre mostly just an excuse for me to design more weird lab rats): Prof. Smartypants - ref to be finished, ferret with a brain of a human, she is my 'authors blatant self insert' into my own story lol; Fishsticks (drawn, a dissected mouse/frog stitched together), (the rest of these dont have names yet) a rat/chick hybrid with funy lil chicken legs, a rat/gator/shark hybrid she is punk and goth and she Bites, a mouse/cat dna mix with a surprisingly tragic backstory that im still working out, more tba

each lab rat represents usually an amalgamation of different experiments as the lab they are in is 'cheap' with their test subjects and likes to Repurpose old, usually failed experiments and do other stuff to them! honestly even if theyre a success they still end up getting experimented on more lol but they are still unimportant enough and the lab big enough where they can hide themselves away and have their own space w/o being actively searched for. ofc the world of the setting is based on our own reality but way more Hyperreal, i dont aim to represent logical feats of science bc a lot of these guys would defs be revolutionary (and impossible) irl lol. i will briefly run down what each main character is a result of but ideally id like to go into more detail when i actually. make the story more visual in whatever format i decide to do (probably experimental and non linear snippets, i dont think im smart enough for a full comic)

Dr. Kitty and Happy are twins! they were the result of an experiment where the scientists were testing if one species of rodent could gestate a different species of rodent just thru a little genetic modification. and that was Happy! he is actually a bunny born from a rat mother and with all rat siblings (one of them being Kitty) hes a bit smaller in stature than a usual bunny being more rat sized but other than that just a bnuuy! further experiments on them was how well skin grafting would work between different yet similar species. it worked for Kitty (hence the bunny ear) but not so much for Happy... both of them had separate experiments done on them also, altho Kitty was more rebellious of the two earning her the shock collar. Happy also had experiments on his fur to make it color changing like a chameleon, as well as some experiments to his eye (tbd)

Dr. Brainworms is actually a sapient amoeba/bacteria type thing, attached to a host body(that happens to be a hairless rat), this host body is her most compatible one as she Can overtake and control other bodies but they start to decay pretty quickly. her history is something she herself is trying to find out as her host body is its own mystery.. is she just an amoeba that gainted sentience? is her mind really her own? was this body maybe always hers? who knows!

Gummi is a jelly belly gummy rat candy brought to life, pretty self explanatory... but shes got a few mysteries of her own! like, why was she even created, for what purpose, i mean who could even do such advanced science anyway to bring an inorganic candy to life, and Why does she keep talking abt a scientist with green gloves when there arent any scientists like that around?

Prof. Fuzzybottom is a rabbit! she used to be just used for breeding new test subjects which left her pretty traumatized not being able to keep any of her children, she became infertile from the stress so she was repurposed for other experiments, like trying to turn her fur to naturally be an unnatural color, and to be more synthetic like faux fur (aka a living plush) she was also blind so they replaced her eyes with a plushy sleeping mask that actually has LEDs inside that are hooked up to her brain to see if they could restore vision thru cybernetics. in her original iteration she was even supposed to be half rat half bunny buut i felt it too much, might still reuse the idea tho! tbh i just wanted a bunny with cute rat hands :3

Prof. Snakebite is not even a lab rat originally, he was simply a pinky rat used to feed the lab snakes, but due to freak circumstances he was actually still alive and after being bitten by a venomous snake, the stress hormones in his little body make him develop rapidly especially in brain power. as he was still very tiny and fragile, he wasnt the best subject to experiment on, but he was fitted with a brain chip originally just to read and analyze his brain development as he was much more advanced in mind than in body (of an almost newborn). after escaping he would upgrade his brain chip to help him utilize more brain power but also lessen the burden on his tiny body that could not handle the strain. he and prof. fuzzybottom are always hanging around each other, fuzzy very often babying him or just helping him out by carrying him and helping him reach places or handle objects, while he begrudgingly tolerates her as she is useful to his needs. also cant admit he appreciates her actually awww

the rest of the side characters are pretty self explanatory, theyre mostly just various animal hybrids and crossbreeds and splices! smh only the main characters get cool powers and shit -_- aside from Prof. Smartypants, after having a ferrets body fitted with a human mind(who doesnt remember the human part almost at all. its just the advanced intellect from it) tries to figure out the weird body dysmorphia with Science Potions aka chemisty. but thats mostly just to give another one of my sonas shapeshifting ablities (go figure) so yah if u read this so far Waow o_o Thank U and also Pls Send me asks abt this. if u want <3 can be questions or just ur thoughts ig!! id love feedback pleas please plea

[bobtheacorn]

tagged by @plothooksinc and @sroloc--elbisivni ! Finally have a chance to sit down at my desk - only to procrastinate! lmao TY for the opportunity!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

75! I have probably ten or so more that i never crossposted from ffdotnet, but they're all Old! Given that FF took a huge L and was apparently down for several days, I might find incentive to move them. but! unlikely 🤣

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

815,373!

Nicole Shut the Fuck Up Challenge: FAILED lmao

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: I'm trying to write various stuff for risetmnt, usagi yojimbo, and digimon adventure/02.

Not actively, published:

Voltron: Legendary Defender (24) One Piece (Anime & Manga) (13) Luca (2021) (5) 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) (3) Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02 (3) Digimon Adventure (2) Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater (2) 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime) (2) 幽☆遊☆白書 | YuYu Hakusho: Ghost Files (Anime & Manga) (2) The Hobbit - All Media Types (2) Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) (1) Saiyuki (Anime & Manga) (1) Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005) (1) The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien (1) The Adventure Zone (Podcast) (1) The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (1) Animaniacs (1) Zootopia (2016) (1) Gravity Falls (1)

Basically if I watch or read something and the brainworms get me for even a moment i will write at least one (1) fic for it! Even though I may not finish or even post it! 😆 Occasionally it becomes a whole mental illness (STILL cannot believe i pumped out 24 goddamn fics for voltron. What a time to be alive LMAO)

4. Top five fics by kudos?

the hard beat of her heart - 1,982!

WOW i didn't realize its had almost 2k now thats crazy af. My Bakugo and his Mom fic is THE banger!

so low you can hear - 1,866!

another holy fuck moment, this one is pretty surprising bc its a much older lunami fic but i saw a huge influx after OPLA so 🤣

tired and emotional - 1,466

my drunk teenagers vld fic had big hits, such as Pidge 'scrambling like a racoon' and two idiots (klance) eating eachothers faces under a public table and then fist-fighting their feelings! Not shocked that its up there bc it was super fun to write

i go there with you - 1,351

this started as mindlessly filling Wumptober prompts and escalated almost immediately into Whatever The Hell It Is Now and i love it dearly! hope i can finished it sometime...! 💀

maybe if it left a mark -1,295

ppl ate this one UP when i posted it and i still get pretty regular feedback for it so i'm not especially surprised that it's still hanging onto top 5 after all this time! its one of my favs too!

5. Do you respond to comments?

Not often 😭 Listen it takes all of my energy just to get the darn thing Written. I have a lot going on IRL, and i'm also horrible anxious about being Annoying 🧍‍♀️ so I just yeet things into the void 😅 told to be quiet to many times as I child w adhd and now I'm a traumatized adult who simultaneously doesn't know how to shut up but also catastrophises basic interactions. Rip

Anyway i DO read and cherish every single review/comment and they never fail to perk up my days!! obviously i reread them pretty regularly, and I love and appreciate yall!! 💜 sorry im awkward!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm more of a hurt/COMFORT girlie, so idk if any of my endings are SAD persay? Maybe a lil melancholy. maybe soul deep???

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

THIS is my cup of tea so it's: most of them 🤣 But significantly its my ooey gooey wedding finale for ANAFW

8. Do you get hate on fics?

got hate for a digimon fic i wrote abt Tai and Kari where someone was like 'this has so many red flags' and I was like Bro you don't show your siblings physical affection? Skill issue.

9. Do you write smut?

writing (and reading) smut is pretty new for me bc i'm on the sex-repulsed side of aro/ace but SOMETIMES !!!fictional!!! romance ETC compels me enough that i'm like Hm Lemme try that. I like to expand out of my comfort zones every now and then, so it's usually a turbulent but interesting exercise 🤣

MOST of the "spicy" stuff I write, I would consider pretty tame tbh? (or not very good 💀) I'm sorta vague on purpose, so if you come in expecting some delicious smut or something I am so sorry that that is not the part that interests me 💀💀

Someone who worked on Steven Universe said that Peridot's fixation on romance/shipping was "archeological" because she's aspec af and d'you know what I'm feelin it!

I love a dig site!

Makes no goddamn sense! Compells me tho.

10. Craziest crossover?

don't think i have a single one in my repertoire YET AS I TYPE THAT OUT i realize usagi yojimbo/tmnt is technically a cross-over! Even if it is a sort of canon one? not sure it counts asfkjhlklf I was gonna say that they don't usually interest me. Clown face emoji

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

if i have, no one has pointed it out!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I get requests pretty often to translate my fics and i'm fine with that as long as they link back to the original! i'm also fine if they don't i guess lmao what am i, the police?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I write The Most self-indulgent crap 24/7 3/65 and i will not hand any of the reigns to someone else rip. Love to brainstorm with others tho That's what makes the brain go brrrrrrrrr

14. All time favourite ship?

ugh its KLANCE, tormented me for like 5+ years and changed my brain chemistry for the better. I'm cringe but im free!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

*stares in 300+ WIPS* maybe that super long bagginshield fic

OH and that anafw timetravel sequel where Lance got pulled into the past/an adjacent timeline and nearly died about it. literally. THAT baby was angsty! rip

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! And characterization!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Chain of Events....! I don't know her 😭😭😭😭 Someone please introduce us. Also having too many ideas for the way a scene could play out and being paralyzed by Which is the Best One.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Sparingly and with Purpose!

19. First fandom you wrote in?

I know in my heart it was self-insert Dragon Ball Z when I was in like, middle school

20. Favourite fic you've written?

gonna list a top 5 bc I can't pick ONE salfjasdlkf

coyote - idk i fuckin LOVE how this one came together, i go back and read it sometimes and im like damn.

small impressions on his heart - this one makes me SO SOFT @ alberto Get Cherished, Idiot

steam: - THE underrated op fic of mine, its my FAV and no one else agrees! Tragedy!

as tenacious as dandelion weeds - i loved writing feral inosuke and his dumb backwards attitude. idk i love a soft one!

salvagable - truly my comedic prowess peeked with EGG SAUCE AND BREADED nothing else will ever compare

.

Imma tag: @big-meows @goodlucktai and anybody else no pressure who also needs ten minutes of procrastination to yell abt their stuff 💜

[fanfiction-artist-prototype]

favourite act 3 dialogues so far, a collection

(i love this mainly bc im like. ah. the 'looking back after killing cazador as a spawn and realising you were acting not dissimilarly to the man you hate so much and that you could have become just like him all over again if you'd gone through with it' is just delicious)

Lae'zel is just so tired, she's really going 'for fuck sake we have withers, a selunite demigod and her wife, scratch and the owl bear. must we take in *more?*'

CASSANDRA! YOU'VE KNOWN YOU WERE A CHILD OF BHAAL FOR A FUCKING DAY! STOP TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE! ALSO??? Babes im trying to redeem you so hard why are you making it so difficult for me to *not* pick 'recently unemployed, i quite like murders?' bc your intelligence stats make that so in-character

--

(honorary bloodweave 'and they were bunkmates' setup)

--

(back to quotes)

(i love Orin. I love the relationship she has with Durge. She'll kill them, want them dead and to take over their life from their position in life to their room to *everything* that could be them because she needs to know what made her the lesser choice; why did Bhaal have to *make* another bhaalspawn when she was right there?

But it's the inflection when she says he's been whispering in their ears; it's the anger, the indignity. I like to take it not as a 'you are shameful for falling for it' even though she obviously references that he could twist them when they had their memories, i take it as aimed *at* Gortash. He's taken her sibling, her rival, and twisted them against what Father wanted to the point she found she had to and then was able to usurp them! And then, then he dares to take advantage of their amnesia and try and turn them against Bhaal once again. Anyway. Love this gal, she's a hoot.)

(also i forgot to screenshot but what do you MEAN Orin thought that the best way to impersonate Gale (who i had be the companion who got taken from camp - which i immediately reloaded to avoid bc im trying to do stuff for his character quest rn damnnit and it isn't time to go straight to the temple!) was to imply he ran away and that she castrated him??? that's so funny)

(Orin being described as a sulky child has got the brainworms (ha!) wriggling ngl)

(also it's always lae'zel. she's at max approval each time as well!! like couldn't it be Yenna or smthing? like have a whole 'look at the murder-kin thinking it can *protect* life? Trying to make up for all those you've cut shorter than this one?? Also i kind of need Lae'zel for heavy hitter stuff as well but we can push through for now!)

(Us in general is my fave part of this game. What do you mean that technically to the outside world my durge looks like she's wandering around with a dog, a cute kitten/cat and a raven (from the He Who Was reward gloves) trailing after her!? AHHH.)

DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT-

Durge why are you like this.

Is there truly anything bouncing between their tadpoles that isn't some form of sarcastic comment?

WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING.

Like. Durge. this is so funny, you've known you were a bhaalspawn for like a *week* what do you MEAN you've already figured out appropriate blasphemes?"

THIS LINE RIGHT HERE IS WHAT INSPIRED MY ENTIRE FUCKING TAKE ON DURGE IN SCION ON SCION VIOLENCE. THIS IS THE FOUNDATION FOR MY INTERPRETATION OF 'THE URGES'

Literally i am not kidding when I say this is one of my fave lines. The context, of Karlach seeing her friend (maybe even her best friend, her fucking *sibling* in all but blood) getting to fix themselves, getting to choose to live knowing she can't, she's fucked it isn't going to work. And yet, she can only be proud. Makes everything hurt so bad-

*stares in that one playthrough where i didn't realise letting her kill the nightsong was her bad route and was like 'yeah lets let her become a justiciar* Yeah babes. It'd be a real shame wouldn't it. (also love her just as much as Karlach, like parallels)

look. I'm an astarion simp through and through and I DO NOT CARE THIS LINE GETS ME EACH TIME!! He's like. This is great and all but since we're not questioning what the fuck withers is im going to focus on the sickening sweetness and BLEH too much. Too much emotional trauma yet to be resolved this is a little nauseating ' i love him. so much.

[omgitsbeewave]

HI your zedlidarity comic gave me too many brainworms here's the random thing. is it accurate? Who knows I threw it together over like 5 hours between classwork because it. beautiful. is it badly paced? Also sure!

He doesn't remember anything when he comes to.

Of course—He remembers the names of simple things, the floor is made of marble and he's lying in a bed. There's pots of pretty flowers and panes of glass are all that separate him from the outside. A bright light is installed in the ceiling, it makes him want to hide back under the covers. Its just anything about who he is or was feels like a void was in its place. Name? What he looks like? Who he knew? Instead of dwelling on it he sits up, trying to get a better view of his surroundings.

The new tiny room housed little more than the bed he was lying in, a corkboard with illegible papers stuck to it, and a few spare sheets strewn that had come loose from it. A sheep hybrid sits at a desk outside the room, running over as soon as they realized he was awake. They abandon whatever they were doing, and open up the door.

He gets a better look at their soft features-purple eyes with a mess of curly blonde hair and small tan-gray horns poking out of it. They wear a lab coat over a simple blue long-sleeve shirt. Not what he'd expected for a mad scientist presumably running human experiments, but his eyes were bright and full of wonder."Hi! What's your name?" Their smile seems genuine, welcoming.

The words feel like lead in his mouth, but he forces them out of his throat anyways. "I don't remember." His voice is raspy from disuse.

The sheep person blinks curiously, and nods. "That's fine-I'm Zedaph." This person-Zedaph sticks their hand out for him. Every part of him feels like it'd take all the effort in the world to move, but he accepts their gesture.

"To start, what do you remember?"

•--•--•--•--•

They're sitting in front of the flower pots he had observed earlier, neatly lined up in a row. He had accepted Zed's offer to allow him to stay and help around the lab, not like he really had any choice. He doesn't even know who he is, what he was doing before, and Zedaph graciously allowed him to stick around.

He looks a yellow flower up and down. The stem is a yellow-green, the spiky leaves sticking out from the base of the plant. The petals are a small and a vibrant yellow, he observes them carefully. He remembers them. Lots of them, and flowers of all sorts of hues from red to blue to the yellow they're observing.

"I remember those." He vocalizes his thoughts, imagining how the texture felt in his hands.

"Dandelions?"

He nods, and Zed scribbles something down on the edge of his clipboard rather than the paper on it.

"I like them," He reaches up to touch the flowers, feeling a wave of nostalgia. "They're pretty."

"How about we call you Dandelion?"

He pauses for a moment, considering it. Those were the only things he recognized in this weird new place, maybe it was his name before. He smiles genuinely for the first time he remembers. "I like that name, its cute."

Zed looks away from his work at last, and smiles with him.

-a rat (you'll never guess who did this because I haven't been telling you I did it in dms definitely not)

im absolutely in love with it and it's exactly how i imagine this moments 😭💕

have lil doodle ♡

[doomed-era]

knocks on your door. champions descendants ask. also take your time (imagine this glowing in a poorly edited photo like the human i remember youre photos)

hehe

oh man this should be fun. so long story short gaffen did originally have a good relationship with all of them! they just uhh eventually deteriorated.

yunobo: they were buds...hung out at hot springs a lot when yunobo wasn't working tbh. he may be a bit of a scaredy cat but he's also the more sensible of the two and has occasionally rescued gaffen from doing something Stupid. then yunobo would go do something objectively stupid with him anyway like heading down an abandoned mineshaft. gaffen also got him to like flavored ice for some reason he used to make little popsicle things for him and yunobo and they'd try to eat them as fast as possible. i think yunobo just likes the crunch. also gaffen has tried making mud popsicles for him and he liked them.

teba: he's not really the dad friend but calls himself that anyway. whenever they hang out teba likes to be doing something productive. he's always moving around or taking care of tulin or practicing archery or whatnot. gaffen usually hung out with teba on small hunting trips I think they have battled monsters together. teba has tried to get gaffen to hold a bow differently because he thinks it's not proper form but gaffen either is too stubborn to change it or is too lazy to try another technique. also for a year or two he had a little baby carrier for tulin but tulin doesn't fit in it anymore (bc ironically gboh is set four years after botw which makes it really close to when totk could have happened if it were real. so tulin is about that age maybe slightly younger.)

riju: i'm kinda tempted to say they didn't hang out as much as gaffen did with the others pre-brainworms. however they are friends! gaffen just wandered around gerudo town and gets distracted and riju was busy a lot. if they did hang out it was usually with buliara's supervision outside of town. they liked racing sand seals especially (and gaffen sort of relates to being so obsessed with a certain species of companion animal.) yes gaffen has taken riju to see horses. he tried to teach her how to ride and riju wasn't a big fan but was polite and humored him anyway. gaffen did frequently talk to buliara about yiga problems, and usually got the latest scoop from her.

sidon: though sidon is technically training to become a king he used to be less busy than riju if he wasn't wandering around trying to rescue people or otherwise do sidon things. so they hung out quite a bit. they'd go fishing or laze around near the dam or eat bugs usually. gaffen doesn't go near zora's domain anymore and hasn't for two years and sidon is miserable about this. he wanders around the domain waiting for gaffen to come back sometimes like a lost puppy. also im ngl i think him and yunobo are friends. i think they'd like each other and gaffen invited them both to a party so they have met...

[ramblingsnake]

Yay Madoka Au !

I suppose i should write this down one way or another. But the brainworms have decided for the past. What? 2 months? to mash my two hyperfixations together cultivating in a Madoka Magica AU for Persona. It's great. It has no name. But i couldn't decide between Akira taking Homura's spot, or Akechi. So i decided "Okay what if i did both." So i did that. As i described to my friends: Akira's version is more akin to if Moemura decided Murder was a good solution, whilst Akechi's version is akin to if Homura decided Murder needed to be the solution. Details, people. Details.

So obviously i need to lay down the rules / changes because I adore Madoka Magica to my very heart and in my AU's of it i do generally change it up just to preserve the original. So in this AU's *all* teenagers can become contracted. Generally called Magi as an over all, whilst you can call the individual "Magical boy" or "magical girl" so on so forth. (everyone has a generally unique transformation unless said otherwise. I still need to draw them out. For now, think their phantom thief attire+) The other change is that Kyubey is deleted from existence and replaced by the Personae. generally called Persona's/Personae, their other name is ending up to be "Wish Bearers". But the personae are tiered - its a way to keep wishes from extending from their usual reach of Karmic destiny. How the tiers work is just following the ascensions of the normal game(s) So tier one has Carmen, Arsene, Captain Kidd, Cendrillon, etc. They grant base level wishes to people with moderate "Karmic Destiny", so think people like Ann and Ryuji. Akira makes his wish with Arsene, and that wish manages to break Arsene's "limit" (There isnt one. Its just a lie.) Tier Two has Astarte, Loki, Kamu Susano-o, etc. They grant moderate level wishes to people with high "Karmic Destiny" So like Haru and Akechi. Tier three has Raoul, Hereward, Ella, Etc. They are basically never seen because people who they're assigned to grant wishes to are practically never born. It happens occasionally, but not enough for them to be known. They show up when Akira and Akechi respectively want to make their universe changing wishes. :)

--

ANYWAYS. Theres a few major differences and sameities as Madoka's original plot to this au. Changes between the two versions so im starting with Akira's. The difference with Akira is that he goes, in total, about 202 timelines. That is a purposeful number i am a shameless Shuake fan. At about timeline 120, he snaps when he realizes being nice and continuing to try and change fate together as a group wasn't working. It's also when he learns that his time magic isn't limited to the just 6 months in 2016, but can go back *Farther*. So after timeline 120, he goes back 2 years until 202. When Akechi finally makes his final wish and rewrites the laws of the universe to better suit *himself*. the gayest final chess session happens there because Akechi is smug as hell. Akira wins for the first and final time. So in the new time, its about a year before. Akira has been sent early to Shujin therefore he's a first year with Ann and Ryuji. But to Akira's surprise his friends already seemed to know him before hand since they visited Akira's hometown, Inaba, before hand on a "Wraith Night". it takes Akira time but he does eventually learn what Wraiths are and are. very confused by them. Not for long as he's taught himself to be easily adaptable but enough to make Arsene look at him funny. in less detail, Rebellion happens but its Maruki who off shoots it just to reflect the third semester because hehe. Haru witches out about december 27th, Sumire contracts about october 16th and Maruki kicks off the false inner reality like 30 minutes after midnight on January 1st lmao yes Akira does do the funny hehe haha of ripping Akechi from heaven. I love that ending so much and i wish. to play around with it before movie 4 comes in and destroys me emotionally.

---

Akechi's version is... Less detailed. Akechi in total does about 120 timelines. His power isn't questioned because it was Loki who granted this wish, and gives Akechi power. But the key major difference is that Akechi loses memory of Akira. When Akira and him are in the depths of Reality thats slowly sewing itself back together after Akira breaks every law and creates new ones, Akira steals Akechi's soul gem and steals his ability of Time Manipulation without Akechi knowing. With the theft of Time Manipulation, Akira manages to reverse his soul to a time before he contracted. Then sends it home to Akechi. Therefore, no one exists that remembers Akira's sacrifice. Akechi is given a life Akira wants him to have, a happier one. One where his Mother, Akechi Fumiko, is alive and a well known Lawyer. She's good at her job and getting justice for anyone. It's made easier since she's backed by her Detective Prince son. The two are an unstoppable duo. But Akechi ends up getting in trouble when he's investigating a series of murders and disappearances where he re-contracts with Loki. His powers, however, this time involve the ability to know, see, and hear everything that should be hidden to him or anyone else. Give him the ability to live through the knowledge of the unknown. Akechi survives his encounter, and then goes to bed knowing he's safe. Only to wake up. To a apparition staring at him. Talking at him. He, of course, screams. thats where my planning stops. I /know/ Akechi ends up in his own Rebellion Hell but i haven't figured out why yet. Or how. I've just been enjoying the idea of a memoryless Akechi now having to be 1. A living Lie detector and 2. haunted by this weird ghost that keeps calling itself a god.

[grieverled-moved]

➤ APPEARANCE HEADCANONS [ ; ] LEON’S “WINGS”.

For my portrayal, Leon has gotten wing tattoos similar to Rinoa’s wings at some point. It’s a lingering memory that he clings tight to following his initial stranding in Radiant Gardens, something he holds close as a cherished remnant of his past, a firm reminder to hold strong  &   carry on. It plays a part in his decision to change his name as well —  an acknowledgement that he is no longer connected to his past, having lost it all, the guilt weighing so heavily he needs to move on &   start anew. To earn back his old name even.

An idea I am particularly fond of is Aerith being the one to help him embroider Rinoa’s wings onto his leather jacket, since they seem close   & were both saved by Cid when Radiant Gardens fell to Darkness. Out of all the other FF characters, she is someone he’s grown close to, someone who has undoubtedly seen him during his worst times   &   knows about his struggle to find his footing again while working through his unspoken grief  &   loss. Her   &   Yuffie were also the ones who kept him bed bound when he first awoke in Traverse Town, when he wanted to leave to continue his search for a way to reverse it all, so they’re also well aware of the scars he has.

For my first KH verse, I really like to headcanon that Leon   &   Rinoa managed to get in touch or find eachother again  —  Rinoa having survived through her own means, travelling around to offer help where she’s able to on other Worlds while trying to also track down & find Leon ( a nice little throwback to when she found him when he was stuck in Time Compression ). Following them reconnecting, she eventually decides to continue doing her own thing while Leon is left with a clean conscience, reassurance, & his old guilt lifted, left to finally focus on repairing Hollow Bastion / Radiant Gardens to it’s former state.

To be honest —   This is just me trying to fill in the blanks. I’d never push my HCS on anyone, but I tried to find a reason why Leon was much more happy  &   easy-going in KH2, less stressed, less closed off. More open? Logical brainworm went & decided that a reason could have been him getting back in touch with Rinoa again   &  finally knowing she’s safe  &   has been this whole time. It’s all I could think of given he had a letter from her ( IM ASSUMING ANYWAYS ) with her wings .

They keep in touch after that point by writing letters to eachother   &   are still close, though their relationship remains purely platonic.

[seijch]

you find yourself in the depths. how long have you been down here? the saltwater feels like a second skin, the pressure building within you a challenge to dive deeper. you know, tucked into an isolated crevice of your mind, that you should be careful, lest you lose yourself to the void. but when it calls for you so sweetly, you have no choice but to answer.

last updated: 04 october 2020 

beyond this point, you’ll find a list of wips i find myself wanting to work on the most. each wip’s synopsis and progress will be updated semi-regularly. if you want more information or would like to be tagged if/when they’re finished, shoot me an ask!

the edge of dawn ➣ kuroo tetsurou, high fantasy au (inspired heavily by fire emblem: three houses)

⇢ currently on the backburner, draft one (<50% complete, 5.9k).

kuroo just has one of those personalities, so charismatic and larger than life that it almost annoys you. you’d follow him anywhere, through life and even death, if that’s what it takes. as seasons change and the world turns upside down, you find those vows becoming closer and closer to the truth.

i like you a latte! (and other basic pickup lines) ➣ oikawa tooru, coffeeshop au / part of the five weeks of fluff event.

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date: 01 november 2020.

oikawa, in truth, is a good barista. he knows how to walk the line between different flavor profiles, and his latte art is to die for. (he’s also easy on the eyes, but that’s neither here nor there.) the problem lies in the fact that he insists on holding up the line to chat you up -- and won’t even give you a complimentary drink for the time he wastes.

untitled ➣ matsukawa issei, urban fantasy au / part of the five weeks of fluff event.

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date: 08 november 2020.

it had taken you weeks to gather the necessary ingredients for this potion. all that’s left is to brew it and have some poor sap test it out. unfortunately for him, matsukawa has seen a concerning trend in both being your test dummy and being the one to bear the brunt of the inherent complications of whatever bullshit you tried to whip up. and this time? well, it goes about as well as you’d expect.

untitled ➣ futakuchi kenji, (vaguely) reincarnation au / inspired by this prompt

⇢ currently planning (solidifying concept, dynamic, etc.). planned release date: 09 november 2020 local time. futakuchi birthday fic.

in which you are the afterlife’s receptionist and kenji has found himself (unwillingly) signed up for the reincarnation program. you’d change it for him if you could--you’re getting tired of him taking all the candy you leave for visitors whenever he makes an appearance. unfortunately for both of you, the powers that be demand that he be dragged through a few lives before he deserves the cushy afterlife he longs for.

untitled ➣ semi eita, xenoblade chronicles 2 au / part of the xenoblade chronicles 2 universe

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date: 10 november 2020 local time. semi birthday fic.

what starts as a chance encounter in the commerce hub known as argentum sets off what might be the world’s most convoluted set of dominoes.

banana pancakes ➣ yamaguchi tadashi, neighbor au / part of the five weeks of fluff event.

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date: 15 november 2020.

as it turns out, the cute boy that lives next door is suffering constantly from a shortage of ingredients (and sometimes, recipes). you have no choice but to help him out.

untitled ➣ kuroo tetsurou, superhero au

⇢ currently planning (solidifying concept, dynamic, etc.). planned release date: 16 november 2020 local time. kuroo birthday fic.

for you, causing havoc within the city has never been about fame or fortune. it might sound unhinged, but think of it this way: you’re tired of being nice. it’s time to go apeshit. or it would be, had it not been for a particularly incessant thorn in your side, a hero by the name of panthera. to make matters worse, a criminal organization known as nohebi is on the rise, and you’ll be damned if your stress relief sessions get ruined by some third party. thus begins a rocky partnership with your worst enemy (and the realization that you two might not be so different, after all).

untitled ➣ tsukishima kei, friends to lovers au / part of the five weeks of fluff event, inspired by this song

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date: 22 november 2020.

confessing to the person you like is hard. your palms are sweaty, you’re fumbling over your words, and holy shit all you can hear is your heart hammering in your chest. but you know what they say: practice makes perfect.

untitled ➣ kuroo tetsurou, knight au / part of the five weeks of fluff event

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date 29 november 2020.

destiny is preordained. in three days, you will ascend to the throne. kuroo will become the captain of the royal guard. you will be forced to marry someone you barely know and don’t love, turning a blind eye to their...other affairs. but right now, you choose to take fate in your own hands.

chasing daybreak ➣ kageyama tobio, high fantasy au (inspired heavily by fire emblem: three houses)

⇢ currently on the backburner. planned release date 21 december 2020 local time. kageyama birthday fic.

kageyama may have only lived one life, but he’s seen it almost come to an end more times than he can count. how many times, he wonders, will he have to bring everyone back from the brink? how many times will he have to tug at the threads of time, reweave it into a tapestry where everyone lives to see tomorrow?

though the depths are a cruel mistress, should the pressure become too much, you are always free to surface. it would do you well to remember that, should you visit again.

[skyland2703]

Big…mood…for a Sydge/Javelia AU.

Hmmm… let’s see Javelia are living Rent free in my head for the past couple of months so I can get you a few AUs in that line.

For Sydge I might have to think a bit.

*cracks knuckles*

Let’s see; are you aware of the world of the Coinless? This one has been a brainworm for the past couple of days.

Javi is a Mastodon sentry in Drakkon’s army and Amelia is with the Coinless. Izzy is his sister, and she’s also a Coinless Rebel. And she hates that her brother sided with Drakkon and his forces. What she doesn’t know is that Javi did it to protect her and the rest of his family after Carlos Garcia was tried and hanged for treason by the Dictator. Javi’s Services to the “state” were taken as a pardon to the rest of the family, and (since Drakkon is probably the biggest misogynist ever) pardon his mother and sister. Izzy doesn’t know most of the story and feels like javi betrayed her and everything her parents ever stood for.

Amelia has been a rebel since day one. Her pop pop was an active, and one of the oldest Coinless members but he’d never been identified and so when he got too old and retired, and passed the torch to Amelia, his granddaughter. She never knew of her parents, and Pop Pop never talked about them, or what their fates were.

In a few raids to the granaries to procure supplies for the cause, Amelia found herself crashing into that one sentry, who somehow always saw her, and somehow never actually obstructed her path. Many such incidents ended up in her finally tackling him and telling him he wasn’t doing his job right. He’d tried to defend himself but then he told her the truth. He never wanted to be a sentry. And his Story somehow clicks with Amelia, as she recalls Izzy somewhere in there, and realises to her shock that he’s Izzy’s brother.

What follows is Javi and Amelia Meeting im secret and trying to keep a relationship under the covers while falling for each other ever so slightly with every next moment they spend with each other; all the while Amelia tries to patch up the relationship between the siblings.

Need to work out aaaallllll the ✨Finer Details✨ and probably once I do I’m gonna forget about it anytime. So I dont know if you can expect a fic from this. But I think it’s a pretty neat idea 🤗

As for Sydge… come back later?? I’ll have to think a bit about them, to fit into an AU and hand you a storyline.

Anyway I hope you liked this!!

[helisol]

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo. 

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

[curious-menace]

Glad you took that nap earlier then! Do you wanna talk about your riddler stuff that’s on your brain? I wouldn’t mind reading, I like reading your stuff!

oh boy a blank cheque for mayhem

you might regret this when i spend the next 4 hours rambling >:)

things that currently live rent free in my brain

so i have an idea for a fic id like to write. a reader x arkham riddler one. basic premise is that riddler is having a nightmare or has had a breakdown after the events of arkham knight. its a terrible night outside, pouring down and freezing ( as it always is in northern ireland in the winter ha.). tldr riddler comes into readers room bc he’s crying an they have a sweet little cuddle and comfort session under the blankies while listening to the rain outside.

speaking of rain. i wrote an angsty fic called Rain on my ao3. it was of riddler on the docks outside the pinkney orphanage after he realises batman abandoned him and died. i’d like to do a reader insert version and finish the sequel i have in my docs because im a sucker for angst. 

im trying to wrangle the brainworms for the second part of the telltale riddler fic. its not going how i want it to but like...im too attached to the idea to just scrap it. i want to try and make it work but like i said, brain worms not cooperating. 

constant streams of riddler angst. riddler crying and needing held like a child, riddler having a nightmare and coming to bed for comfort. riddler suffering fuels me

honestly? general nonsense with various riddlers. like just imagining he’s with me in the grocery store saying funny shit, keeping myself entertained in quarantine by imagining him in various scenarios ( which is how i sometimes get my headcanon ideas)

i have a SHITLOAD of character abc’s, nsfw and sfw alphabet stuff to do  for arkham riddler ( all 4 of them) arkham scarecrow, blacklight riddler and my oc/selfie shepherd. these things are min 5000 words and i just cant be bothered with it right now. i WANT to do it but like. as soon as i open the document i get discouraged by the sheer scale of the task

my tablet is gathering dust at the end of my sofa. again, i WANT to draw but i just dont have the mental energy . its probably why im blazing through these asks, i can sit on my butt on the sofa and just type i dont really have to focus too much, just imagine my riddling boys in whatever scenario the asker wants.

id like to draw some scenes from my fics. ive done some shipping things on my main account of blacklight shep and blacklight riddler. there is a fic i wrote called “hiccups” where shepherd adjusts eds tie. its very sweet and id like an excuse to draw her a fancy outfit bc her normal one is plain compared to riddlers gold garb. 

speaking of my fics. these damned prompts from my main account: Edward: After this is over, feel free to lose my number Jonathan giving Edward a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed. Shepherd and Edward getting sick at the same time. i got a friend to send me these so i could use them but this was BEFORE i decided to start a batman blog. they drive me nuts every time i see them because they arent on the batman blog and theyre just messy and they just SIT THERE. 

lastly, and i cannot stress this enough, i NEED to write down my blacklight au. it needs to get out of my head and onto paper before i forget like i did last time. tldr my blacklight au is a sort of remix of the injustice world, where superman is evil. it starts off with kid shepherd meeting kid scarecrow and ends with her world hopping to the arkhamverse. i don't know if you've read dark knights metal or know about the Nth dimensions or any of that but i'm trying to bring some of that dc canon into blacklight without making it hella complicated. i should just focus on building up to what would be the start of the injustice story before i get ahead of myself but you all know me. i'm an excitable over-writer with too many ideas .

maybe i should write them down first or something. like on paper rather than a fic or bullet points . sometimes physically writing it helps you get your ideas out...

i have a few other riddler brain worms right now but im keeping this sfw so those worms will stay firmly hidden in my brain closet, where they belong XD

ANYWAY

thank you for asking. its nice to just have, as i put, a blank cheque for mayhem and space to ramble. no one irl in my life is interested in batman so i have to save it all up for this blog and discord 

oh well. cest la vie

- shep 💙 

[dansedan]

Top 5 cute shit for Harry/Jean/Kim mwah

UHH LISTEN you are getting my absolute bottom shelf bullshit feat. the franctic notes I take on evernote bc I have brainworms

5. I just like their sizes. Like before we get into the actual psychological nitty-gritty of the thing I have to appreciate ZA/UM’s incidental stroke of genius in creating a mentally-ill homoerotic trio composed of a small middle aged man with a delicious waist, a youngish on-his-way-to-bear (complimentary) buff dude and a middle aged ex-gym teacher bear (derogatory, but loving). Like that is one fine package of both h*rny and emotional per cm of sad cop man. All the cuddle possibilities are great. All the s*x possibilities are great. It’s all just great.

4. they’re just fucked up little dudes. I cannot stand thinking about how stupidly screwed these dudes are and I think about it all the time. Fucking... people talk about like, Harry having been pretty bad-off and maybe not having a proper support system but I swear to god not a single day goes by where I do not have to sit down when I am reminded of the fact that I literally can not image kim kitsuragi having any real friends at his age. Like I will confess I very much make kim a bit of a Hot Mess(tm) past what canon suggests but this is one point where I am like genuinely defensive ANYWAY let us not even talk about Jean mr “he’s so screwed over you can naturally slot in some daddy issues and it’s immediately believable” (although I do like to think Jean at least has pretty solid comradery with his fellow cops and has like... acceptable socialising levels.) But despite being royally fucked they’re also like... they’re there for each other, and they understand how it can get to be hard even though it’s hard in very different directions for all of them (your fic was so good with this dude) and they also like, (well I like to write them like this JA but yknow. my characters now im already ranting this much) know they can’t just codependency-it-up forever and have to grow for themselves and as people, y’know? I have a lot of feelings about them going through that sort of uh. “clearly I have a bad social life and also I am literally in love with you so of course I want to dedicate all my time to you and sink into these feelings but also that’s bad” from mainly harry/kim and all the sludge of “maybe being rabidly codependent was bad” from harry/jean and “god it’s strange to find ourselves in this crossroads with this insane amnesiac alcoholic with voices in his head and we are in many ways very different and can feel animosity but we respect each other and know we need to work through it and that we can come to more than an understanding, eventually to an affection” of jean/kim. It’s good also wow this is long maybe I should stop hee hee

3. I love how they have real conflicts and step over each other a lot but they really are just working to be good about it. I like post-mart Harry struggling with how much to close the distance between him and Jean, I have a whole stupid little fanfic outline note dedicated to Jean feeling messy about being jealous of Kim and how to react to his relationship to harry and how to react to all this change in general and anyway I think that’s great and I hate it when people make him just be a jerk because I think Jean is mature enough to recognize that he actually doesnt dislike Kim yknow anyway also just. Kim thinking about Jean and trying to understand his anger and desperation is also good and just harry and kim as a dynamic alone has a lot of interesting crossed wires that end up organized to create a powerful partnership and I think Jean as an anchor to the past makes it even better. It’s good.

2. let’s get back to cute: I think it’s cute how they’re both of the older dudes are super slated towards nerdy but Jean is 100% the type to like know Man Topic Facts and not really have specifically obsessive passions outside of that. Like especially because Jean is the younger one and I love that reversed “are you winning son” dynamic I think it’s really great to picture sort of Jean lovingly putting up with long infodumps from them and then when it comes to his own interests it’s like. “Oh I like this author” or “I enjoy watching movies” and then Harry can give him a lame jokey speech about his generation and their lack of artistic movements and how they really should shape up to it because between Disco and the new, youngest kids, they’re really gonna get swept away from the annals of history or whatever and then Kim can be the one who’s just poignantly detail-oriented about procuring the few things Jean really does feel stronger about, like a particular brand of licquor (I like the whole “they both drink scotch except kim judges Jean’s stupid macho taste” thing from that one fic) or a particular rhythm of daily routine.

1. I like how they all have really bad facial hair. I am a bad facial hair aficcionado.

[unseeliekey]

do you have any writing tips for ?intermediate? writers (been writing awhile, know basics but still feel like im missing something)? your fics are so so so AMAZING and i look up to you as a writing icon

first of all thank you so much??? that's literally so flattering omg??

also!! I actually have another ask I'm working on about my writing process specifically and i was going to write a bit about how i block out plot there, so I'll just do general advice here!!!!! I actually haven't been in an english class for about 5? years? (dropout club ✌) but i DO study theater and I borrow a lot of character techniques from there!

my first piece of advice is to enjoy what you're doing. my second is to know where you're going with it- I actually make up a lot as i go along and make last minute edits, but I tend to have an idea of the vague theme of the piece- if not when I start writing, at least before I post.

I'm a big fan of foreshadowing and recurring themes!!! idk I just think they're neat!! at the beginning of a story, I usually set out what themes I want to explore, and then pick out some specific imagery that I think fits in with that? (for example- you've got the right was coffee, rooftops, tending wounds, greed; therefore you and me was tv, memory, plants. and that was what I initially mapped out, the way I handled those changed and i added more throughout the stories. kattar shuffle, so far, is: cards, eyes, morality. spoilers.) I think having little bits of imagery that repeat semi-frequently throughout the story can really add to the overall theme and tone? (and they're good filler if you're stuck for descriptions or pacing.)

ummm hm. I try to be conscious of how I'm beginning my sentences? this is baby stuff but I sometimes rephrase things to get a little more variation. I also think repetition can be really useful if applied deliberately! I sort of. try to view my writing as being very like. sort of the characters' internal monologues? which I think helps with the flavor a little!!!

OOOH and. get a good soundtrack!! I curate my writing playlists VERY carefully and I usually end up listening to one/two songs for about an hour while I work on a specific scene, because you gotta have the Tone. you may have noticed from the fact I steal pretty much every title from a song (I'm bad at titles) that I rely on music quite a bit! I steal soundtracks from movies, tiktok, my parents. the music I listen usually makes me feel more confident about me carrying the tone of a scene which makes me feel better about my writing which! maybe makes it better who knows!

um! write poetry for a while! read poetry! im definitely very inspired by confessional poetry- I read a lot of plath when I was younger and now I read things like hes so masc and i thought we'd be famous and! I think poetry is hugely helpful!! good poets (particularly in "modern" or confessional poetry which isnt really constrained too much by traditional rhythm and therefore is a little closer to prose) are really excellent and condensing down a lot of emotions and ideas into a handful of lines. I dont think much has ever hit me as hard as "warm and human, then their pink light / bleeding and peeling".

be overdramatic and pretentious! push at reality. I dont CARE that chloroform cant gas a whole room full of people and that general anesthetics are hard to dose and potentially dangerous!!! i do not care about realistic amounts of alcohol or the timing of music! be wrong with confidence! most people won't mind as long as it doesn't conflict with the world of the story as a whole.

get a solid grasp on your characterization! I watch and read a lot of meta and also a lot of other fanfic, but at the same time I... dont entirely let other people's interpretations define my own? I think it's good to come to your own idea of how a character acts! (this is. for fanfic specifically but also! play with the characterization of your ocs, too! mine have gone through a lot of changes after I've received feedback from other people and adjusted/doubled down on their behaviour.)

I guess uh. the best thing I can say is to really devote yourself to a story! make a playlist. make a pinterest board. imagine amvs and other people's reactions!!! I. spend around four hours writing daily and SIGNIFICANTLY more time thinking about my current brainworms. I fall asleep listening to music and thinking of an amv I would make for kattar shuffle if I were. able to animate or draw consistently. the more you think of it, the more scenes or imagery pop up, and the more little snatches of dialogue and interactions you want occur to you. note these down!! I have a lot of notes that wont be relevant for chapters and chapters but I note them anyway and when I do get to write those scenes it's always so fun.

uh also. I recommend roleplaying. not even for fandoms theres a lot of servers you can join to play with OCs. roleplaying definitely made me a better writer. it's also definitely helped my characterization for fanfic.

anyway!!! that's all I can think of now I'm sorry!!!! tbh I. just vibrate with it really but i think all this stuff is what i find personally helpful!!!!! sorry this is so long!!!!

[defensematrix]

ok here are my charthur thoughts, they get their own post. this is very long and im so sorry if youre on mobile and the cut doesnt work

so the deer. lets talk about the deer. can we talk about the deer? ive been dying to talk about this deer

i think technically its a buck but whatever. can we talk about the deer

so whats great about charthur is that in addition to being a great friend, charles is arthurs narrative foil (to a certain extent i guess) in that he is willing to call arthur out when arthur says hes a bad and irredeemable man and tries to get out of doing good deeds. charles knows that arthur is good and can do good (”you aint as tough and dense as all that”) and challenges him to be a better man

im a charthur loving bitch in every chapter but i think something really important about them is that charles and arthur come to really care about each other over the *course* of the game. charles is withdrawn in the beginning, and arthur is a grumpy no good outlaw, and the progression of their relationship as they both develop is really natural and satisfying to see. by the end of chapter five, when arthur asks charles if he’ll ride with him, charles’ answer is “always” and tell me that isnt the most romantic fuckin thing youve heard

but by the time youre going through the chapter six missions i think arthur is still struggling with the idea that he can be good in the wake of getting his diagnosis. a really important scene to me is the one arthur has with the nun, because it happens right after a mission with charles where arthur was reluctant to help, but ended up doing it anyway

this nun says “take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act” or something similar. at this point arthur writes in his journal that the feeling of dread about his own death has lifted, and at this point i also got on my horse and rode to the wapiti reservation as fast as i could (prior to the conversation, charles asks you to meet him up there)

arthur “goes behind dutch’s back” to help rains fall and eagle flies on charles’ request, to the point where arthur almost stays to help charles/the tribe and abandon dutch entirely before charles reminds him that he has his own fight

during chapter six theres a campfire event where charles will sit down and try to “tell a story” but what he really does is just vent about how he doesnt know why he exists or what hes doing, and the implication is that hes struggling with existing as a black and indigenous orphan in a world that is being colonized. so charles’ missions in chapter six are really important to him figuring himself out and finding a purpose and identity. 

and arthur may not understand all of that but he knows how important it is to charles to keep helping, and so one of arthurs loving acts, as i interpreted it, was trying to do what he could in that entire shitty situation, not just because it meant something to someone he loved, but because what was happening was unjust and evil and instead of grumbling about how bad of a guy he was and how he doesnt do good things, arthur started just doing whatever possible to help (which in of itself is a loving act for charles, who has always told him to be better)

“raleigh you never actually talked about the deer” i AM okay im getting to it. so the deer is a manifestation of high honor, if arthur is low honor he will see a coyote during transition scenes instead

prior to the events of rdr2, arthur presumably had low/medium honor. he also did not know how to hunt properly and had to be taught how to by charles

the animal that charles and arthur hunt at the beginning of the game is a deer

as i said i have charthur brainworms, so i will go as far as to say that arthurs association of a deer with high honor and being good comes from charles. in his journal, arthur at one point writes that charles is a man who doesnt have to think about whats right and wrong like arthur does, that charles inherently has good inside of him and is capable of acting on it (which arthur does not believe is possible for him)

also charles fucking buried him. man. charles went back and climbed that mountain so he could lay arthur to rest, and presumably was the one who decided what would be on arthurs headstone. if arthur is high honor, it says “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness”

in conclusion: