#anyway it was pretty good and the art was fucking scrumptious

[tecchan]

So I finished Room No.9 yesterday, and boy am I thankful for the option to turn off scat stuff. They really had to make the enema scene slightly different in each route so you'd have to read the whole thing again every time huh?

[thecluelessdoctor]

whike I mentally prepare myself to make a whole damn comic, it's time I talk about the FNAf movie because fuck you I am going to write what I want

cw: spoilers for the FNAF movie!!

At base value, I loved it. I felt the pacing was a little slow, but I love it. From the little refs to the games, to the in general plot, it was just very enjoyable, even if most of the plot is just from the fact Vanessa didn't tell Mike wtf was going on.

NOW! let's talk technical!

For a pg-13, it was pretty good! I feel it matches the games really well! It's not too scary, but it can give you a startle, especially to any newbie! My mom was startled by the balloon boy lmao. Also it had blood so it's a plus.

The acting, dialogue, and overall set is really good. Scrumptious if I do say so myself.

I loved how the animatronics looked. Freddy and chica being my overall favorites. Idk they made my boy Bonnie blue so I had to take a few points. The cupcake running around was weirdly funny to me lol.

Now lemme touch on the plot!

I liked the plot! Like I said before, it was a LITTLE slow, but nothing too bad. I found it really interesting with what they did with Micheal and the whole dream thing.

And the idea that the children communicate in pictures rather than words hit me pretty hard, because that how I myself communicate. Although I can be.. pretty good with my words, drawing, and art as a whole is relatable to me, making Abby a really relatable character to me.

I really don't understand the hate for the movies bc it's not lore accurate. So what??? A lot of movies based on games don't! I mean- look at the Sonic the hedgehog movie!! Or the Mario movie! So your point is invalid. And also- I'm pretty sure this is a lot more entertaining than watching Micheal do five nights at Freddy's smhhh.

Though I'm sitting here in complete wonder bc like- WHO WAS THE 5TH KID?! WE SEE HER IN THE PICTURES!!! BUT- IS IT CASSIE?? OR CHARLIE MAYBE?! IDK

Also what happened to Derek I need to know.

Did he get turned into a animatronic what the fuck happened to him

Anyway

Let's talk about the cons of the movie.

I keep bringing this up, but the movie was slow. Not unbearably slow, but still slow.

Also, the whole aunt subplot- idk I felt it wasn't really needed except for the mat pat scene (he fucking embraced that scene it was great the theater I was in started cheering and I had to explain to my mom why everyone was so happy)

Also I felt the one major jumpscare we get, of foxy, was waisted. It looked like he was rolling into the security guard on roller blades. I would have liked it if maybe foxy like jumped at the guard or something. Idk just a me thing

I also feel the 'i always come back' line was rushed, same with shaggy's- sorry I mean WILLIAM'S death. It didn't really feel satisfying ig?

also, I felt that Vanessa was more of a plot device than a character. Because most of the plot literally is riding on the fact she doesn't tell Mike the truth.

But anyway

What would I rate this movie, and should you watch it?

I give it a 8/10. It's fun, and nostalgic for old FNaF fans, and a fun intro to new ones. Go check it out

[mintythecup]

I absolutely adore your art, but anyway

Give me your opinion on all your friends

ofc starting with your best friends and.. so on so on

giggles. THANK YOU EHHEHEHEHDJNSMDJF

Okay so

Starting off with irl friend's

J, she's a really really awesome friend to have

She also noticed when i was feeling down and tried her best to make me feel better <3, she's also really pretty and I love being friends with her, she also is super fucking funny and she also gives me sum tea and some things fhat have happened:3

Then my gf(also Mt beat friend) I absolutely fucking love her. She's so pretty and she makes me feel so good about myself and the little things she does just makes me fall for her more, she's so pretty, her smile. Her eyes. Her hair. Her voice, generally craving everything thay I'd die for. She's the best. I swear, everyday she couldn't get any prettier and I love LOVE how she makes me feel. My beautiful girlfriend is someone I couldn't ever get out of my mind even if I tried. She's super funny and usually distracts me in her own weird ways to make me feel happy too

My brother (karl)

Hes a really really good person to be around, we both share ocs and generally he really does get me, inlove being around him and he's funny to talk to

My friend (k) she knows another part of me thay I will NOT share. Lmao, we both have alot of things in common and generally she's really funny to talk to. Also someone who gives me tea and some things that have happened :3

Shes also someone I can go to when I need distractions

I don't really bond with the rest of the friend group fhat well so uhhh, online friends next!

My brother mugsy, he's generally a really fun person to talk to and hell I really fucking love his art, I've adored if since day one and his animating skills too, he's someone that I could go to aswell and he's also good at comforting when I do need it. I wouldn't replace him if i even had the chance.(there will never be a chance.)

And my online pookie lily!

I really love her art aswell, she's funny to talk to and a really sweet person (she's holding me up at gun point as I type this/j) but to be real here.

I love her art and I'm generally jealous on how she's able to do the type of styles she does, we also do agree on alot of things and she knows alot about me aswell, also an understanding person and I can't wait to meet her one day.

Kat! My online parent, i really love on how she makes me feel important and how she's able to take on the role of being one of my online parents, she's really good at comforting when I need it and when she needs space I accept it aswell, someone I've grown to appreciate and love the things she does for us and alot of people

Ira :3

One of my other online parents! I really love her art too, I love all of my friends art tbh. But she's a really kind person and I love being around them and it makes me happy to know rhat they are okay and doing good, especially when we don't talk much as we used to but I love seeing them update and post new art or something, I also appreciate how they are able to make me feel loved and appreciated too

Carla!

Carla is one of my idols and I love their aus and ideas too, I FUCKING FLIPPED OUT WBEN I REALIZED I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO I IDOLIZED SINCE 2022 AND STILL GROWING❗️but to be real though, she's super kind and I appreciate that i was even noticed in the first place, their ocs are really cute too

CHECK FHEM OUT RN RN

bunnzy!

My other online oarent that just up and adopted me for some damn reason

But their ocs and vackstories are really interesting and I can't helo but feel really appreciated when it comes to tjem and how they make me feel included, especially during our rps

They understand that sometimes I do get overwhelmed with texting alot ofnpeople ay a time and accidentally forget to reply.. I do that alot and I really apologize

But their art is so scrumptious and their ocs are fucking beautiful. I swear.

Mocha! GER ART IS BEAUTIFUL TOO I swear I'm friends with people who's art is something I'd admire and look back at constantly. But she's really kind and funny to talk to and even during our lives we'd be laughing and losing our shit during them. It's funny and I love how her ocs are designed

MC FLURRY❗️❗️(floris)

GREEERJAGHFHAJFJJ how do i explain.

Their lore and art is really damn creative there isn't someone I know who has a SPLINTER. of what their ocs have. But also a really great person, there's alot to put into words I can't even put together myself and it makes me happy go get to know tnem LIKE BRO, I SWEAR THEIR OCS ARE DOWNBAD GERGOUS TOO (did I spell thag right...)

NERF!!!

ONLINE DAD and the only one I have..

Theirbdesigns. Everything. Oh Mt GOD I swear. But also an interesting person to falk to evenr though we don't interact alof

CHECK THEN OUR RNRNRN but real talk. I love everything about em, designs and shi like that

Fun to be around but I don't really say much since we don't interact alot sadly :'l

MONSTWRS OH MY FOD

My idol. my damn IDOL. THEIR ART IS DO DAMN GOOD ISTG BUT THEIR OC ZACKY AHOWS FATHER FIGURE FOR ME DAMN.

BUT lore. Lore A GOOD DAMN PLANNER TOO their multiple aus and ocs are something that is Hella brave to do tbh, lowkey something myself can't even pull off that's so cool, but they are really funny to talk to! AND INTERESTING AUGSJFBKAJFJAJD

Im sorry for the misspells too and I was typing too damn fast god Zdamb.

Also sorry if I missed anyone

Theres so many people to talk about BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO DONT FEEL LEFT OUT PLEASE

[thisisnotthenerd]

very excited for the acoc prequel. matt & brennan have a thing for intense tragedy prequels when swapping seats.

also that table composition is just *chef’s kiss*. lou, aabria, & brennan for the oops all dms factor. anjali bringing a gorgeous pc with no doubt a lot of drama on the rp side(i saw that uvano reference. the noble of the party). zac playing a stinky little asshole and hopefully getting to keep him for the entire time. i want to see him really get into the meat of the intrigue.

i do think the choice to shift the focus from candia is a good one. while we obviously didn’t get to see everything there, i think the tonal shift will be good for matt’s first time dming in the dome. his style works better with a little less chaos than brennan or even aabria usually contends with. plus this feels like a party that’s not quite as heavy on the nobility. acoc definitely had a focus on the royal house of candia--this just gives a different perspective on calorum and a way to get into lore we probably have had little insight into as of yet.

this gives us the option to really get into the bulbian church lore, a way to get a good look at the meatlands that we didn’t have in acoc, the underside of comida, and maybe a look at the fructeran nobility beyond the uvanos & of course, thad.

in terms of how related it is to the main campaign i’m going to guess it’s something like pirates of leviathan as opposed to the seven. none of these characters were npcs in acoc, but we could have the potential to run into the younger versions of some characters, the way we encountered garthy, ayda, and jamina in pol.

definitely feeling pretty stealth focused/lower magic as a party. looking at what’s under the surface at the start of the ravening war. as they are the scrumptious scoundrels, i think for classes we’re looking at 2 or more rogues, a fighter, a cleric, and a maybe bard based on the art. my guesses:

lou’s being the party tank again--some kind of melee class, leaning fighter more than barb but maybe a combination. maybe a touch of paladin

aabria’s got something going on with mixed melee & magic--arcane trickster rogue, hexblade warlock, maybe a little bit of hungry one monk energy, something to that end.

brennan said i’m bringing a cleric to keep all y’all alive, and he’s really going in on the old man. he said i came to be goofy as fuck. granted his name is raphaniel charlock. maybe brennan’s pulling a lapin and really leaning into the name. maybe he’s throwing us all off with the title and playing a wizard. idk

really feeling rogue from zac. he’s settled into it a lot in his last few seasons from skip to pib. with his warlocks he tends to go sneaky/darker as well. colin provolone just seems like a con man. there’s also a lot of bottles in his background--maybe an alchemist? washed up alchemist artificer seems to fit the vibe as well.

anjali’s character looks hot and seems noble, so i’m guessing charisma caster with lots of bonuses to persuasion/deception. she’s a lady--eloquence or lore bard feels likely, maybe whispers for the politicking. granted she could do a lot of that with a rogue as well--we might specifically have an oops all rogues/rogue-adjacent party.

anyway. i’m very excited about this. based on the number of aabria outfits i think we’re looking at a 6 ep season to cool off from neverafter. granted these scenes are all likely from the first 3 or so episodes, so it might be longer, might not.

edit: i wrote this before i read the faq and it is definitively a 6 episode season. i think they’re getting into a pattern of alternation between ih seasons and sidequests: intrepid heroes run for a 17-20 episode season from late fall-spring, then a 4-6-ep sidequest for a buffer going into the summer, then a 10 ep sidequest going summer to fall, and start back up with the intrepid heroes again. i think this is likely to be a pattern going forward as they straighten out from the disruption of covid and fully shift to battleset/dome seasons.

[tattlestarbeepbop]

I'm tired of this fandom being so small that everyone that makes content for it basically knows each other, sooo...

A la Randy Feltface's skit about Hemmingway, I bring you...

THE BACKSTORY OF: JANE WHITMAN

(In the span of however fast or slow you may read this.)

[Just a heads up, spoilers for Date Time ahead.]

GO!

Born in the year of, or at the very least some year before 1974, (Inferred by the newspaper we find in one of the first rooms of what we can only assume is her headspace and the fact that she has a teacher named Mrs. Afee in this year) Jane had an eventful childhood, such as her father basically abandoning her and her mother, leading to a childhood that Randy would call uneventful, but I know led to a majority of Jane's life being the way it is.

Mrs. Afee was concerned for her health because she usually just drew all day, never interacting with the other kids (Oh, hey, it's me!) She was also not that cooperative with her mother, which... granted, most kids aren't. There's also a cat plush that you can squish, but I can either say "This must've been Jane's comfort plush!" or I can just admit I don't know why it's there and move on.

In 1975 (Inferred by another newspaper) Jane was asked to draw something else by her teacher... and the result wasn't very pretty. Either way, it was in this year that Jane caught wind of Silicon Valley, a place in California known for it's technological whimsy!... which her mom thought was a financial fad. I want to see the look on her face when she finds out she was DEAD WRONG!

Jane liked watching TV, and one show she watched had a little sock puppet man named Klippy. He told her that she was loved and cared for and that somebody else out there in the world was the same way, which is true! Klippy also told Jane to never give up! And ya know what her momma said?!

"Don't listen to the TV, Jane. It'll rot your brain."

Everybody say it with me: FUCK YOU, JANE'S MOM!

...okay, I shouldn't give her too much shit, she was struggling with rent because her husband fucked off to Valhalla. (probably)

Anyway, next room/part of Jane's life! No year this time, but we can assume she's older. Now she's some quiet gal trying to get a job for the summer at a restaurant, but those guys rejected her. She got shoved into a locker by some bitchass named Jackie, some Mrs. Sophie woman (probably another teacher) tells her to give up on art and focus on getting her life together (and gave her only two options: Work force or housewife), and Jane's mother forces Jane to get into a prom dress that even Anna thinks is dreadful AND DATE SOME A-HOLE!

Literally. If my theory about the next room is right, her date is literally just called 'A-hole.'

Anyway, we have another year on a magazine! 1980! Woo-hoo! Anyway, this guy takes the time to share weird facts like "Did you know we only use 10% of our brains?" WHICH IS FUCKIN' BULLSHIT. He also claims to be a lawyer and that a limousine can still turn if tilted at a certain angle- actually, wait- no he didn't He told her it's not true after saying it! WHAT THE FU-

He says he's a fan of 'Art of War,' an ancient Chinese military treatise by Sun Tzu and that he'll pay for the meal if Jane gives him another date, to which she rightfully declines. Good on you, Jane. You deserve better. Anyway, she's scratched out her drawings because nobody supported her art career and her mom, despite being the partial cause of Jane's dismay was like "You used to draw all the time! What happened?"

Again, say it with me: FUCK YOU, JANE'S MOM!

Jane also tried to get a job working for a "John Avast," who, like basically everyone else in her life, rejected her. And then, finally, after so many years of heartbreak and depression... Jane met Melissa, a character from a dating game that's been there since the start of the series. She's also self-aware and will someday grow tired of the fruitless cycle of dates and smooches and cafes with only three choices on the player's side, including a SCRUMPTIOUS PANINI.

Anna's tired of Melissa in general and slices that memory to bits right in front of Jane. Yikes.

Anyway, Jane loved Melissa so much that upon actually getting her arm held by Melissa's pixelated figure as she begged to be with her, that she couldn't help but say yes and immediately start to gather the supplies for a break-in to the library, which her mother catches her in the act and SENDS HER TO A MENTAL INSTITUTION CALLED ST. PALO AFTER GETTING A NEW ROOMMATE.

ONE MORE TIME: FUCK YOU, JANE'S MOM!

In the next room, we meet the biggest bastard to ever bastard in Jane's life (other than Anna,) and his name is Dr.Kaperski. Real piece of work this one. Jane's restricted while she sits down and is basically forced to tell Dr.Kaperski what happened at the library, and when she's done, she rightfully tries to attack him, but a nurse forces her to take the medicine prescribed to her and possibly gain a fear of needles as a result if she didn't have one already.

And that's where the flashbacks end... but wait. There's more.

At the age of 24, Jane is let go, courtesy of the Data Time company, because SHE GOT HIRED AFTER SO FUCKIN' LONG, LET'S GOOOOO! She gets a copy of Anna and as we check her emails, we see an email from her mom. Again, I'd love to see the look on that woman's face when she thought semi-conductors were a financial fad! Sorry isn't going to cut it for scarring your kid for life!

Anyway, Anna takes Jane's wheel after taking her down memory lane, they shuffle on over to the library and confuse the fuck out of Melissa, but then when she's about to make her move and give the Anna-possessed Jane a big ol' smooch, she whips out a device that sends Melissa right back into the computer with one last moment of clarity that this ain't Jane, and with that, the (probably first ever) copy-protected Melissa diskette is born.

Jane ain't having it.

She fights with all of her might against big bad Anna and manages to tuck the diskette away in it's character's favorite book, Pride and Prejudice. Speaking of which, HOW, pray-tell, has nobody found that thing yet?! There's a demand in romantic books, so surely someone would've found it by now! (Not a knock against the game, just a joke.)

Anyway, Jane rushes out of the library before Martha (the librarian) or Anna (the bitch) can get her to show the diskette to them, and ends up running out of breath in the middle of the street before a fuckin' semi shows up AND SPLATTERS HER BODY ALL OVER THE STREET!

WHAT A GAL!

How I knew her age?

I found it on a funeral thing that I couldn't tell you about until you knew she died.

[driftingmoonmenace]

Hey you!

Yes you!

I want you to know that even if you don't post your art often, I am always excited to see you on my dash!

The artwork you reblog is very tasteful, but your art itself? Fucking scrumptious

I like the way you draw eyes- they give off so much sass and I love it

Your aus slap- I love all of them, but the club au? 👀 you got no business making them that fucking fine okay- I can only handle so much

Anyway, I love you(platonically) and your art a lot! I hope you have a good day/night!

A;LFKJDS; ANON!!! I'm happy to hear you like my art and AUs so much!!! I really do love sharing my stuff with y'all, even if I'm pretty shy about it and slow to making content. (You're encouragement def helps with my anxiousness when it comes to sharing stuff online!) Thank you sincerely for the kind words!!!! 👉👈💦💕💕💕

[jaysavex]

Hellooo it's me(🍒) I just want you to know that I opnined my tumbie today and reading your tags made me smile so much that I accidentally tossed my phone and couldn't find it for a good while (it was beHIND NY PILLOW WHAT THE FUCK I'm still mad about that BUT anyway

I've bee, n following you for a while now andhave been wanting to let you know YOUR.R ART IS SO LOVEY AND ASLO VERY AEETHETIC AND ADORABLE AND ABSOLUTE EYECANDY, BY THE WAY, AND I LOVE. HOW YOU DRAW THEM THEYRE SO CUTE AND SOMFT AND?? yoU DRAW ON YOUR PHONE WHAY THE FUCK IOUR ART IS GORGIS I COULD NEVER oUGH and this seemed like a good time to finallyet you know (I have wanted to scream at u for a rlly long time like. RLLY long I am just stupidly shy)

Any way get got you absolutely stunning jestie bestie moot🫀🫀❤️‍🔥this was a lot but I am not (just like a little bit kind of you know ) sorry

U ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST THINF WVER HELLO HI OH MY GOD I'M PUTTING U IN MY POCKET AND UR NEVER LEAVING OH MY GODHSBFHKS BRO,,, I had?? No idea we were mutuals????? I'm such a dumbass who doesn't know how Tumblr works hellO???????????????? In absolute SHAMBLES rn this has made my week?? My month???? Year?? Hmbfjskh I adore u you're mine now I'm putting u in a tupperware container and feeding u grass like a little lizard I found on the porch

I LOVE UR ART SM TOO!!!! IT'S SO!!!!! !!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! ! HEMFNJSK!!!!!!!!! literally I wanna stuff it in my mouth like a squirrel n hoard it for the winter AA it's so pretty and sketchy and scrumptious and stylized and cool and perfect and ur expressions make me feel so many things like seriously they're so ridiculously funny how do u do it!!!! how come u haven't yelled at me sooner holy fuck scream at me all u want!! It's not a lot dwbi!!!!!!!! I'm kind of a lot too actually sorry for writing sm!!!!!!!! I'm gonna yell at u somuch more now I hope u know that, brace yourself >:(💖💖 this was a delight to read thank u thank u thanku, never be shy again you're more than welcome here I'll buy u pudding cups and give y fresh water 💖💖✨💖✨✨💖💖✨✨✨💖✨💖💖

[killscreencinema]

The King of Fighters 95 (Neo Geo)

If you dig up my King of Fighters 94 review on here, you'll see me tell a story about how I was once obsessed with the game back in... well.. 1994. It led to me meeting one of my best friends and kicked off my love for all things SNK (although I had already been casually interested in the Fatal Fury , Art of Fighting, and Samurai Shodown series by that point).

The funny thing is KoF 94 is the only game in the series I had a chance to play regularly back in the day. I would never encounter a Neo Geo arcade with any other KoF games, making them somewhat shrouded in mystery, until one day in Las Vegas! It was my senior year of high school, so around 99 or so. My family was staying at Caesar's Palace, which at the time had a scrumptious but small arcade. I remember looking around, taking in the selections, before spotting an odd sight - a small Neo Geo arcade box where you had to sit to play it, similar to how most arcades are designed in Japan. As I got closer to it, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the game that was running on it - King of Fighters 95! Holy shit! One of the elusive sequels to a beloved game I never thought I'd get to play, right there in front of me!

Needless to say, I selected my boys, the Ikari Warriors, and played the shit out of it during that entire trip. I want to say I split my time between that game and the Capcom Marvel Super Heroes arcade (which was the first time I had ever encountered THAT game as well - I'm telling ya, this arcade was fucking STACKED). I did a lot of fun non-video game related stuff during that vacation as well, but the time spent in that arcade are precious memories.

Anyway, KoF 95 picks up a year after the events of 94 (duh), where the villainous Rugal has resurfaced, sending out nefarious invitations to yet another tournament.

The team roster is all pretty much the same, except that the horrible Team USA from 94 were snubbed this time out. Taking their place is a new team: "Team Rival", consisting of Iori Yagami (mortal enemy of KoF hero Kyo Kusanagi), Billy Cane (from Fatal Fury), and a ninja named Eiji Kisaragi. KoF 95 introduces the "Team Edit" option, where you can pick and choose your favorite fighters to create a customized team. I don't care for this option, as I feel like part of the challenge is beating the game with teams that might not be quite as balanced as others. But, hey, it's just an option, and you're even kind of dinged for using it when you beat the game and get a lame text ending that essentially says "After Rugal's defeat, all the fighters won money and went their separate ways. The End."

The graphics are slightly improved, with better animation and greater framerate, although with the mild sacrifice of the sprites being *slightly*smaller. It's a good trade off though, as moves feel more fluid and little less stiff than in 94. One thing that did not improve with this entry, though, is the music. While KoF 94 has one of the best soundtracks ever, the soundtrack to KoF95 is... fine? It's certainly not as memorable at least.

Overall, KoF 95 may not be as memorable or impactful as its predecessor, but it's a step in the right direction as far as technical evolutions go!

[xmargot]

                     ＊𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝓎𝓈𝒻𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎;＊

♚ - NATALIE. the beautiful woman who birthed me. the strongest mum’ I know. her favorite possession was a pearl necklace my father once gave to her, and when she had learned about his affair, she destroyed the thing! you know, what a waste of beautiful pearls.. but the strength to break that thing... told ya she was strong. ha. anyways - she’s wonderful. always listening to Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Fitzgerald. I got my love of silk and lace from her. ( not my cheeky wit though. )

😾 - CAT. the single most important soul to me. - and also the only one who can kick me out of my own space. he believes he is the ruler of my loft. the crown sits perfectly on his furry head, i’ll tell ya’. - also, i named him after that feline in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I just get a kick out of the scene where Holly is in the rain crying out CAT. - he and i are just slobs and we belong to no one. 

♖ - JOSEPHINE.- the half sista. the one my father had while he was still with my mom. what a juicy story for another time i will never find the care to share. she’s pretty cool.. a crum of a cook like her mum. she always smells good, and im envious at how much she glows when she tans. uhmm.. she’s always trying to hang out with me, but she has a baby, and a baby really isn’t my thing... right, margot, it’s your niece, yes, but you see, she cries non-stop and i really can’t fucking handle that. ( unimportant but she’s a single mum’ if ya fella’s are interested. ) 

♞ - CAMILLA. my main fucking squeeeeeeze! my best sister. yes, i can say that because she’s not a half, shes a FULL. a wonderful full. my partner in all the crime. pure mischief we get into. she usually tells me to watch my mouth, and not be so bourgie with my money... but other than that we get along quite well.. she taught me how to do the worm when i was thirteen, once punched a girl in the face in grade school when the twat made fun of the way i tied my shoes. - bunny ears style, if you must know. apparently that was a baby way of doing it. --but my sister and i are single pringle cat moms together. she enjoys her wine, as i do my champange, and we watch all the trash tv and gossip together like typical sisters. whatevs.

🐝 - ME. and i say this in a very Miranda Priestly voice, ‘ that’s all.” 

♜ - MARCELINE. hi. yep. this is the step mother. the one that my father left my mother for. you’d think i’d have hard feelings about that? absolutely not. well-- not anymore, now that i’m out of my teen angst years. she’s got a witty humor that rattles me. i’m also happy my father and her got together. they both love art endlessly. ( her cooking is sort of rubbish though... )

♟ - SAMSON. the step father. super CEO, he always tries to bond with us kids by forcing us to go sailing with him. it’s alright, i guess. - but i get a little sick out on the water, and the smell of fish is horrid. i try to teach good ol’ Sam how to throw down the tracks, and dance, but im afraid that he is turning into an old man. he has absolutely no rhythm. none. he takes really good care of my mum though, so he always gets a pat on the back for that. i also told him to sleep with one eye open when i first met him, and found out he and my mum were dating. well, now they’re married, and im still certain he keeps one eye open at night. that’s right. dont ya’ forget it. 

♢ - CHARLIE. my precious lil’ brother! in all of his hipster form, he is a god. such a prodigy. i’ve never met a nerd who is equally as chill, and cool. always props to him for doing ballet with me when we were youngsters. he is more musically inclined than anyone in the family, and his humor can be just as cheeky as mine. Charlie has a gentle heart though, me not so much. ha. i kid. he also is a scrumptious baker, and coffee aficionado. 

✭ GABRIEL. - this would be the bastard who helped create me, and passed on that incredible sarcasm to me. i adore my father, not all of his choices in life, but certainly his genuine soul. he knows what he wants, and he isn’t afraid to go for it. i suppose i got whatever small amount of gentle-ness in me from my mum, and everything else from this guy. my mind stretched creatively from him. so thanks dad! got me to a good place! 

[fairest]

DIDN’T GO TO TWITTER YESTERDAY - September 13, 2018

As for what’s next, I will leave that to the specialists.

Music is my mistress, Duke said.

There were a few others.

Duke had a Tristan chord of mistresses, a Lulu chord of broads.

Duke’s mistresses in tutti frutti.

I saw this heartbreaking Caufieldian thing yesterday. 

Good thing I didn’t have my nose down in Twitter or I might have missed it.

I was walking by the American Stock Exchange … this old couple took a photo … the man went and stood by the art deco handles of the ASE …  the ‘militarized police’ … whatever that means … don’t guard the ASE ... I don’t even think it trades anymore .. it used to be called the New York Curb because the traders stood outside like guys wearing mattress signs ... anyway … he held the door handles … his wife snapped a photo, they both laughed, he shrugged his shoulders, they laughed again and kept walking toward the 9/11 memorial … his pants needed shortening it was really sweet.

In my Caufieldian head I decided … that man worked at the ASE early in his career … they were some of the most exciting months of his life … he seduced, in part, his wife with some of his stories … and then he moved to Ohio and met this lovely woman, his wife … he cries when he thinks about her hair in the sunlight from before all the treatments … he made her shave her pussy in 1999 because Britney Spears did it … so she would look like a milf who couldn’t get enough cock … and then he tried to soothe his wife’s razor burn with the same ice pack he used on his bad shoulder … and she almost killed him and died from laughing … and they raised 4 exceptional children … one of them almost got into Oberlin and had Hannah Horvath as a freshman buddy … and now the couple are in New York … it’s her first time EVER … it’s his first time in 40 years … and he said he wanted to take a picture in front of the ASE … cause he worked there right after college for two months … but by the time they got there it was just whatever … still … she snapped the picture, and now they have it.

He’s just this cog in the wheel from Ohio with 4 children who worked at the ASE as a runner 40 years ago, before he got his real job at Raytheon or Toyota.

The cog in the wheel is heart wrenching.

What freaks me out about the WTC is not that it’s gone, or all this memorial stuff that took its place, but that the Burger King across the street is still there.

So is Pronto Pizza, so is the Essex World Café where they have good 1000 Island dressing for burgers.

I’m not going to write: that used to be my brain, now it’s a CVS. That used to be my heart, now it’s a Sweet Greens.

So many beautiful people in New York, who invited you.

It occurred to me today I might be so uncomfortable because I no longer live down the street.

I have this note here: yesterday you missed a good idea in the women giving up. Maybe women have too much dignity to “give up.” Maybe they have too much respect for work, for the muse, to say, like Markson’s copycats, David Shields or Karl Ove or whatever, I just give up, here’s a list of shit I like and shit I felt on this day or that day … although it seems like Eileen Myles gave up, but I don’t think she’d put it that way, or what about Kanye, same idea.

America doesn’t smell like anything.

I know, I’ve been to America, I live in America, and America doesn’t smell.

New York smells.

Rotting cooked flesh and cooked flesh rotting.

That’s what you’re paying for.

America, on the other hand, is one big odorless Kardashian vagina.

I have this note here: don’t add ‘…with a shived off clit…’ it’s not really you, even if it came out right after, it’s not really the good you, that’s not what you want to say, let the chapo trap house dudes say shit like that, they have the guts, they are truly mean men, whereas you, you’re a nice, scared, standard friendly guy, and your body shakes during confrontations.

America is odorless like Caitlyn Jenner’s vagina, affection will solve every problem of freedom.

This diary is about not going to Twitter

Dear diary, what if I am lying to you? 

Maybe I’m on Twitter right now, sending David Frum DMs that say, you frum?

I’ll frum you … I’ll frum you from behind … but don’t tell me I have to keep it … because I’ve got two x chromosomes.

This diary will end when September ends, and then it will be a book.

You know it.

I know it.

Will you stay with me until October?

What makes me a true New Yorker is that I can stand anywhere in New York and not move.

What a myth it is, that an ex-New Yorker remembers everything about New York. 

I don’t remember shit.

A great male writer returns to New York after 25,000 years and remembers which train car you need to be on for the 14th Street exit, and which train car you want for Vesey over Barclay.

The last great myth of the male writer, before this one.

Yeah that’s bullshit, I have no fucking idea where I am.

I’m so emotionally unavailable in this place I almost pronounce the ‘h’ in humor.

Today’s entry is just about how I walked around the city making associations, it’s pretty bitter, empty, vulgar, boring, I’ve done this, I’ve done that, what, for 10,000 days of my life and many more.

Funny story, I am the only punk in New York.

I run you to 21.

I see the car in front of you.

Americans are turned off by Marx because Marx smells like something that needs coriander.

Stop saying Marx.

Just stop.

Stop.

And when you’re finished not saying Marx, don’t say Marx again.

I just think of Richard Marx when you say Marx, stop saying Marx and I’ll be right here, waiting for you.

I’ll take an adult erection course, as long as they don’t make me read Marx.

Here’s a funny story, I was running for the train ... get out of my way turista ... I am a great male writer on my way to discuss Richard Marx at the New School … they have a scrumptious prepared egg salad sandwich in the cafeteria … it’s going to dribble from my mouth when I tell the youth there are no ethical egg salad sandwiches under capitalism … and I would’ve made the train but I didn’t have a metro card … just my Ventra card from back in Chicago.

I had to go buy a Metro Card, and the fare is like $2.75 now, I remember when they paid you $40 to ride the train. 

I won’t write that CVS used to be my liver, or that this Joe and the Juicer was my grandmother’s pancreas, but the Joe and the Juicer across the street was divined from my father’s seed the last time he masturbated in 1987.

I can’t hear.

Should I listen to Illmatic and pretend it still loves me?

When I read a great essay I google the writer’s name … and then I see they have a twitter … and I think, oh, they have a twitter, that’s so touching, let me follow them and see the other things they write … what’s even more touching is when they don’t have a twitter at all … actually that’s just weird .. you can’t be a human being without a social media presence.

My founding myth as a writer was my college professor telling me I didn’t have the guts to be a writer.

You are very talented Stuart, he said, but I don’t think you have the guts.

I’ve gone through my whole life as a desperate amateur who thinks he thinks asking more questions than I can answer and it’s killing me constantly, this bearded professorial voice in my head saying I don’t have the guts, what it takes, last licks, to be a writer.

This is what I heard: you are too unique.

You are too unique, too pure, too clean, too afraid of being a total loser, to be a real writer.

Maybe you can express yourself in cascading major ninth chords, but you cannot express yourself in words.

Keep writing, you’ll get better at it, you might even get better at it than a few other people, but people will never relate to all that you say. You will never make a reader cry. People will relate to some of what you say, but never all of it. Scribbled private notebooks for your secret joy stolen from someone else’s notebook. You don’t have the guts to be a writer. You don’t have the sac to relate. 

I can’t move faster than the speed of my forgetfulness.

People always say there’s so much brain power in New York, Berlin, wherever. People always say the best minds come here, but I don’t know, all these people look slightly dumber than me.

There are people standing in line to buy sneakers and I can’t help them.

No one ever says there’s so much brain power in Compton.

Thought about tweeting today:

back in NYC, the rotten apple, feast of san gennaro, hope I don’t get whacked.

I rub my wife’s ankles and calves, we make lists, we cross things off. We ask if our kid shit or if it just smells like shit in this Rite Aid, which used to be a discotheque.

It must be so depressing to be a super model, no friends.

Fake tits look so gross, all these Brenda Walsh jeans.

Every time I see a picture of Jennifer Lawrence for Gucci or Aldi or Chanel I say to my wife, she got mad in like 2014 or whatever when there were pictures of her tits … that was before Twitter really poisoned the discourse …it was totally okay to see Britney Spears’ cunny in 1999 or some shit but not J-Law’s white breast, that’s where we DREW THE LINE … you cannot see J-Law’s tits.

The men are even worse.

Really looking forward to Lady Gaga falling into Bradley Cooper’s arms in the new A Star is Born.

Too handsome to be this straight and dress this gay.

How depressing to wear dress shoes without socks and shorten your pants, show your ankles, really gross, just go work for the American Stock Exchange for 90 years and buy 38X34s Dockers with flex stretch like the rest of the honorable five foot seven men of this country.

German men too tall carrying babies, men who are too tall for war, shave your stupid beard.

Why don’t you stop pretending to be a fake European, there are enough fake Europeans in Europe and Saudi Arabia.

Air conditioners dripping, business won’t make it.

I am looking for my voice (the first thing I had).

For an American, it almost seems like New Yorkers don’t speak English.

It is too fast, this language. 

You know how in Paris you order the wrong thing because you don’t speak French .. then you see what the real ugly French people are eating, and you’re like .. damn! … that looks so good! …I’m only here for 2 more nights! I will never figure it out and then I’ll be back in America where all the pigs taste like lambs! And the cows taste like pigs! And the chickens taste like cows! And all of it tastes like shit and you can’t smell a goddamned thing! Fuck I wish I spoke French!!!! Then I could be eating what those ugly French people over there are eating it’s a calf’s balls!!! goddmnit I’m an American legal citizen! My people have killed more cows than Indians! I deserve your calf’s balls! …  well I feel like people who speak English, as a first language, people from, like, Shanksville Pa. or wherever … fluent English speakers … who can pass hard tests in English … they come down to a deli by the 9/11 memorial, they stand under the mall and its oculus and they want an everything toasted with a little butter and two fried eggs with well-done home fries on the side … but they don’t know how to say it … their English tenses up, goes fucking nuts … they order the wrong thing, a plain bagel ... not even a bagel .. they end up with a FLATBREAD ... untoasted ... with egg whites and sliced tomatoes on the side … it’s so horrible ... they’re like, shit, I just want to go to Panera ... New York bagels are overrated and you can’t find a good tomato west of Sicily … there is so much pressure on human beings, they fail, mostly, but they don’t lose hope.  

Paninis and parms piled high in front of house freezers, butcher hands naming cuts with blue-ribbon toothpicks. The most boring looking British woman in $7,000 flats, a man with a utility kipah and hands full of accordion files.

I said to my son, Alexander Hamilton is buried here and so are you.

Tonight before dinner my uncle produced his article, handed it to me, said, Stu, this is what I was talking about last night at dinner.

My uncle wrote a 22 page article about two fields and gardens poets.

Double-spaced, he said, about 22 pages.

He sent it to his teacher in China.

My uncle’s hands shake now. He used to drive and make jokes. He doesn’t drive anymore. He doesn’t make jokes about his wife anymore, but if I make a good joke about my wife, which happens quite often, my uncle laughs.

He wrote a 22 page double-spaced article and the last line is: as for what’s next, I will leave that to the specialists.

He said he understood if I didn’t have time to read it, what with my job, my own novel, my son, he knows I’m a busy young man.

I told him I could skim some of it now and then he could email it to me and I would let him know some comments in further detail. I said I didn’t know much about the field and garden poets, although I had read some David Hinton and I’ve seen a postcard or two in my day.

My uncle said the title was actually Two Poets, Two Magistrates, Three Dynasties.

I told him I thought that was a good title. And that all writing should end with the sentence ‑ as for what’s next, I will leave that to the specialists.

As for what’s next, I will leave that to the specialists.

[angelikaganz3-blog]

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At the time I was close to the best shape Id ever been in, about 59, muscular build with a little bit of chub, around 210 pounds. My time with Kristie (18) took place over the summer between Senior year and College. I met her through a friend and didnt really think too much of her, she was short, big breasts, no ass to speak of but for some reason, and yet I was attracted to her. So I was there, marinating chicken and listening to music over a speaker, dancing my ass off because I like dancing, so what. Any type of action to make work go faster is an action Ill partake in. Fast forward to the next day around noon and I wanted to pursue the friendship with her because like I said, I was attracted to her somewhat and even if it didnt work out I gain a new friend. I followed her on Instagram and hit her up. After I notice her and wave hello I go back to my dancing, not realizing that she was checking me out. " Now I wasnt being serious by any means, I just have a really sarcastic sense of humor and fucking with people makes me happy. Anyways, she comes in and I see her in line and remember her awkward introduction and figured hey, why not try to be friends with her? Youre really good at dancing you know," I preened myself at this compliment, dancing is near and dear to me and to hear it from someone I was interested in really buttered my eggroll. My first time meeting her was when I was at work, I was in the back of the house marinating chicken for the next day (chipotle workers represent), and saw her come in. What do I have to lose from getting another friend? I decided to push the conversation a little bit to gauge how she would feel about a more suggestive tone, "You dont get an ass like mine by just sitting around you know, I worked hard for this work of art," Yet again, almost instantaneous response. If you loved this informative article and you would want to receive much more information about nude hairy pussy pictures assure visit our own web-page. I started with a joking ice-breaker about the night before, "What you saw last night in the restaurant stays in the restaurant, get me? Im texting her while Im getting ready, "You ready for this? Her parents werent home and she wanted to fuck. " "Hell yes," she said, "I need you here now, to feel you inside of me and know that youre going to fuck me senseless is all Ive been able to think about. The rest of the conversation is fairly irrelevant considering the details, but the basic gist of it was "coy" flirting back and forth until we got onto the topic of sex, then we starting talking about it more, blah blah blah, four days later I was getting ready to go to her house. The thing was, I was extremely nervous. "Oh, believe me, I noticed," Let it be noted at this point I was fairly confident in my ability to pull this off, and I wasnt exactly thinking with the right head if you get my meaning. I hadnt gotten laid in awhile and I was a horny 18-year-old, can you blame me? She was into it too - telling me how she was going to suck my dick dry, ride me until I couldnt stand, you get the idea. Saying it over text is one thing, having to go over is another beast entirely. She replied almost instantly, "You got it. " Again, in retrospect, I havent been thinking with the smartest mindset. I get to her house, or what I think is her house. As Im sure most of you can agree with me, over text message its a lot easier to appear as a cucumber-cool (pun intended) sex god or goddess. Spoiler alert, it didnt mellow me out. One of her neighbors had the same exact last name as her, no shit. And I was working it for all I was worth, telling her all of the filthy things I was going to do to her knowing if my mother read them it would bring her to tears. Standing outside the wrong house, eyes red as shit, and probably looking like I was going to throw up. I couldnt even find the doorbell either, so I stood out there looking like a fucking idiot for God knows how long until a middle-aged woman opened the door holding a baby asked atk hairy model directory me why I was standing outside of her house. At the time I smoked a lot of weed, and in my infinite wisdom, I decided it would be a good idea to smoke two bowls to mellow me out on my way over. " "No shit," I said to her, wondering how I got myself into this mess and how I was going to get out of it in one piece. " She yelled at me, "I think youre in the wrong place! I guess God does have a sense of humor, and its fucking sick. " I thanked her and set off up the street, and lo and behold, Kristie was walking towards me in what I think was a crop top and skirt, with a bun hairdo and looking scrumptious. We go straight to her room and she shuts the door. She turns around and moves in for a kiss. " I said nervously, about to shit myself, "I think you need to go down a couple of houses. I saw two outcomes, either I somehow fuck this girl better than shes ever had before, or I make an ass out of myself. Me, being a stoned fuckwad thought she wanted a kiss and tried to hug her. We make it back to her house, just a short walk and its a nice place. "You know Ive wanted to fuck you for awhile right? She looked at me weirdly and I thought I should explain, "I smoked some weed before I came here and Im really nervous. " I did and she got on top of me and started to unbutton my shirt. " "Me too, I havent been able to get fucked well enough in a long time. " This was news to me, with a plethora of self-image issues, I would have never guessed. I more or less told her that I was going to rock her world, etc. None of the guys I try to get with commit to being a dom well enough, and from what youve said to me youre going to be pretty great. " She laughed and said, "Dont worry about it, just go lay on my bed. But before I had a chance to respond, she leaned in and kissed me, and started grinding on my crotch. "I didnt know that actually, but Im glad we talked it out and Im here now. I forgot about my big game talk. 7 on a good day, and you bet your ass Im still self-conscious about it. As shes grinding on my crotch I start feeling around her body to see what Im working with. I was on the wrestling team at the time and I decided to just let myself go and see where this sexcapade would take me, so I flipped her over on her back and started working my pseudo-dom magic. For some reason all the dudes on this subreddit have 2 foot long PVC Pipes for cocks, which I know isnt true, but is still disheartening to read at times, though I digress. Now, a wise man once told me that I shouldnt worry about performing well in the sack, and not to worry about my dick size, because at the end of the day as long as you have fun and go loose then itll be a good time. " "Yes Daddy," she moaned, "Please fuck me. I pinned her arms above her head and growled in her ear, "If either of your hands touches me before I give you permission, youre going to regret it. Like I said, big boobies, small ass, but sexy voice and I dig her hair. I need you inside of me now. " Now in my mind, Im slowly getting into this, biting her ear, neck, you name it. Im not a hung dude by any means, were talking 5. This was the moment of truth though, my exceedingly average sized hammer of Mjolnir was about to come out for the first time, and I needed to make a good impression. She looks down and says nothing about it, was that good? " I slowly slid into her and she moaned loudly. " "Please Daddy fuck me now, I want it, I need it. She wasnt tight, and the condom was tight as hell, which told me I had more stamina than I knew what to do with. I slowly fucked her, listening to her beg for me to fuck her harder. Shed been a good girl. I braced her back with one arm so she couldnt move, and the other was pulling her hair, and I started fucking her for all I was worth. I put the condom on and start to tease her with it. I continued to thrust into her slowly while she moaned softly, both of us spent from the hard fucking we had given one another. I tortured her until I was satisfied. Then I turned her around again, where she was on top of me and I had her lay on top of me with my cock still inside her. We should keep going, let me suck your cock. " she asked me, "No, did you? Now, for all of this girls shortcomings that I would learn in the next few weeks, she remains the best person I have ever received head from, hands down. " I didnt have to be told twice. She did this thing with her tongue that drove me wild, and for some reason, she absolutely loved sucking my balls. I took off the condom, and dont worry, I had more, as she went down on me. I pull her hair harder and she screamed louder and continued to pound her pussy until I couldnt breathe. Nothing wrong in my world right now, my car could have gotten towed and I would not have given a care in the world. Hell yes I do, I just railed you and I cant breathe. After awhile of her sucking me off, she asks if I want some water. She comes in with the water and we both replenish the sweat we expelled during our last session. "FUCK FUCK YES OHMYGODDONTFUCKING STOP YES DADDY" she screams, the dog in the cage out in the living room is barking to high heaven, and Im just getting started. Gotta get ready for round two. I grab her by the throat and bend her over her bed. I fucked into her again and again, without pause and shes going absolutely wild. She left to get the water as I started to evaluate my condition. Shes still drinking her water as I storm over to her, take the cup away from her and put it down. Hickeys on my chest, face red, and dick still hard as a rock. I put on another condom and wasted no time teasing her. On the other hand, it could be completely genuine and I could potentially be fucking this girl within an inch of her life. " Shes screaming, "FUCK THIS SLUTS LITTLE PUSSY! She asked me again, "Did you cum yet? " Now, I dont know about you guys but what shes saying is making me feel kind of strange. " "I wont argue with it. How long had I been gone? "PLEASE KEEP FUCKING ME DADDY! I continued fucking her until yet again I couldnt breathe, and we fell into bed next to hairy women sites each other. It feels scripted, overdone, and not really meaningful. Sure mom, let me just finish fucking this girls brains real quick and Ill be home in two shakes of a lambs tail. Mom is asking if Ill be home for dinner. She needs me to come home. Im making a really good first impression on you for whatever reason. It was a school night and I needed to do homework. When can we get together again? Realistically though I did need to go home naked girls with hairy pussy soon. I didnt know if I wanted to. " "Cant you stay a little longer? "I cant, Im sorry, she wants me home for dinner. " she asks me with hope in her eyes. " "That sounds okay," she said, sounding somewhat defeated. "Im not sure, why dont we play it by ear? "Ill talk to you later," I said as I was walking out to my car. I would fuck Kristie again, a few months down the line against my better judgment, but thats a story for another time. "Give me a kiss before you go. " she asks me as Im putting on my pants. " Woah there miss, I dont know if that was part of the deal, but before I could say anything we had already locked lips and she was tonguing my mouth like she was trying to start a fucking car. This was my first time writing here and any constructive criticism is welcome. Something was telling me this girl was bad news.