#anyway there are about 20 addendums i might could add

[iskierka]

Body Image and Aziraphale, or, Violently Projecting My Issues Onto This Character The Way God Intended

In honor of my new URL, I wanted to get down some of my feelings around body image since I’ve been doing a lot of projecting onto Aziraphale recently. I want to talk about both why Aziraphale is one of my favorite (and one of the more positive examples of) fat characters, and why I still relate to him through the lens of my own issues.

First off, there are a few trigger warnings that could apply here, but mainly if you’ve struggled with an eating disorder or disordered eating or body image in general, even though this isn’t a graphic discussion or anything, this may not necessarily be something you want to read.

Having dealt with different eating disorders for ten or eleven years now, and body image issues for longer than that, fat characters are really important to me—but only when they’re treated well (by the production, not as necessarily the other characters). There’s obviously a big difference between how Aziraphale is portrayed and how, say, a character like Thor was portrayed in Endgame. Aziraphale is fat, but it isn’t in and of itself A Personality Trait. However, I don’t think it’s a purely physical trait either. In fact, him being fat reflects the good (if not Angelic Good) aspects of his character. Aziraphale enjoys the comforts and pleasures of earth, and his body is just a reflection of that. I see it as a reflection of his love for the world. And look: when Gabriel says “lose the gut” the implication is for Aziraphale to miracle himself into shape, right? What’s made clear here is that Aziraphale can change the way he looks at any time. I think this is to be expected, but it’s important in this context because it means Aziraphale likes that he’s soft. When he comes back with “I’m soft,” it’s a reflection of how he sees himself in a permanent sort of way. Physical softness is not an immutable trait for him, but of course Aziraphale is not talking only about his physical form. His whole being is soft. (Certainly, there are other aspects to his personality; Aziraphale is just enough of a bastard to be worth liking. But compared to the rest of the Host that we see: other angels are rigid in a way that he just isn’t.) Basically, what I see is this: one, part of what makes Aziraphale likable (his love for the world) goes hand in hand with his being fat, and two, Aziraphale has made a conscious choice to be fat.

So then, something else about me: I’ve always felt alienated from body positivity and fat activism. It doesn’t matter whether I’m a size 6 or 22, as someone who has spent—spends—quite a lot of their time genuinely hating their body, those spaces have always felt unwelcoming. My experiences with eating disorders have felt often unwelcome in the context of fat activism. (“Deal with your shit on your own time.”) I’m not able to muster enough Positivity to be a proper activist. So, it may seem odd that a character like this, one so at home and satisfied with being fat, has struck me so emotionally. There are a few reasons here that I see that make Aziraphale comforting rather than needling at these same insecurities. I believe that’s because how little attention the show pays to him being fat. It’s not something that’s really negative or positive in its portrayal. Sure, Gabriel makes that “lose the gut” comment, but it’s not something the audience is meant to side with him on. He’s the villain here, and it’s also meant to be a bit silly or absurd—maybe you could put it in with his disturbance at Aziraphale eating sushi, which shows how much closer to “being” human Aziraphale is than the other angels. And on the other hand, while I have kind of argued here that his fatness is put in a positive light, but I don’t think that’s an overt thing. (For most people watching casually, Aziraphale’s weight is irrelevant and nothing but a one-off joke.) And it isn’t only treated that way by the powers that be, Aziraphale himself, in calling himself soft, says that is integral to him in an absolutely natural way—it’s just part of who he is.

But here’s the thing: I’ve near read my way through the body image and eating disorder tags for Good Omens on AO3. One fic in particular where Aziraphale begins to develop an eating disorder, I’ve already read through four times.* Honestly, it is that normality of his fatness, the permanence of it and role in his own self-image, that make this whole genre (I suppose?) of fics hit so hard for me. For a lot of people including myself, EDs are a form of self-harm. So what makes stories where a character like Aziraphale struggles with issues like these so rending is that it would be a representation of a deeper unhappiness with the fundamental parts of who he is.

And maybe to a lot of people, it seems just a little bit this side of absurd still that he ever would.** But people with EDs often share certain personality traits. A few I recognize in Aziraphale’s character: a tendency towards (personal) harm avoidance, worry, and lack of emotional openness. I think there a few examples of each of these. First harm avoidance—besides just his general desire to avoid ending the world (this is much, much more tied to his love for it anyway), I think his reticence in his relationship with Crowley (“you go too fast for me”) shows this best. Their relationship is also likely the best example of his emotional barriers. (Sure, he isn’t cold like other angels, but nor is he open, and Aziraphale seems to desire that warmth and closeness from connection in a way that the rest of the Host do not.) There are many points where his tendency to over-worry comes across: thinking Crowley is asking for a suicide pill, after five centuries still worrying Heaven will care about the Arrangement—these come up over and over. Maybe it isn’t so unreasonable to think that some version of Aziraphale could fall into an ED. Look at it this way: you lose your only real anchor on earth, your trust in the goodness and rightness of Heaven is broken down, so you try some way to feel in control again, no matter how irrational. Another part of Aziraphale that I think speaks to this tendency to fall into this as a coping mechanism is his position as a protector, a guardian. He lives a role that is about serving and providing for others. When you have an identity constructed around providing comfort, security, and faith to others, it can feel very natural to turn to inwardly or personally destructive habits like EDs instead of reaching out or opening up to others. If you lose some fundamental outward belief, it often feels insurmountable to also reassess your perception of yourself (“lose faith in yourself”) and seek out support.***

I think part of the reason that Aziraphale is comfortable for me to project on here is that his body is established as something neutral-to-positive in canon, while being fat is something negative societally. His character doesn’t bring baggage, and so I think those of use who are fat or have struggled with body image see ourselves in him. For some people that means seeing a character able to be beyond societal pressures on the body, for others it means seeing a powerful character still able to fall into the same things we do and not be bad or weak because of it.

I’m stopping here for now and I know this is all pretty jumbled, but I’ve just been feeling like I need to get this down. It’s been nice to see some positivity about Aziraphale being fat, but sometimes it can be hard to see only positivity because I can’t relate to that. I’m really happy to be in a fandom again where there are characters who aren’t fit/skinny & I love reading all y’all’s fic and seeing fanart—it’s meant a lot. Also: if you too have fat Aziraphale feelings, pls pls come talk to me!!!

* link to that fic

** I know there are reasons why this seems weird re: story mechanics, but I don’t think it’s that hard to understand this plausibly within canon. I’ve got lots of ideas anyway :^)

*** I’m trying not to stray into headcanon territory here but I think it is important that any fic that deals with EDs doesn’t fall into a gets together with/receives affirmation from skinny partner and ED suddenly disappears trope. The reality is that EDs usually stick around after whatever crisis that might’ve triggered their development has passed.

[borisbubbles]

15. SWEDEN

Hanna Ferm - “Brave”

In the year 2020, the social scientists at Sveriges Television faced their biggest challenge yet: Convince the Swedish voting public to crown a female Melfest winner.

This was a task that would require a near-Herculean amount of effort, of course. No degenerate male (--Tenko Chabashira) should be given a remotely decent song so they could inevitably plunge into the abyss. All alpha females however should be given a STRONG EMPOWERMENT ANTHEM! 

Enter Hanna Ferm, who has <<A Completely Unique Never Before Seen Staging Concept by Sasha Jean-Baptiste>> and the EMPOWERMENT anthem of our decade!!!! 

She then took the stage, and-

BRAVE NOW

I FUCKING SLAPPED A RABBI

I’M ALL GAY NOW.

AIN’T NUTTING GONNA STEP ON MY BRAIN NOW. 

...

...

. . .

15. SWEDEN

Dotter - “Bulletproof”

 In the year 2020, the social scientists at Sveriges Television faced their biggest challenge yet: Convince the Swedish voting public to crown a female Melfest winner.

This was a task that would require a near-Herculean amount of effort, of course. No degenerate male (--Tenko Chabashira) should be given a remotely decent song so they could inevitably plunge into the abyss. All alpha females however should be given a STRONG EMPOWERMENT ANTHEM, so that if the Chosen One failed, one of her lesser sisters could pick it up.

ENTER DOTTER, who blew the competition out of the fucking *Kattegat* with her sultry-sex laser lapdance

I’M NOT BULLETPROOF

I’M NOT BULLETPROOF

*HOOT-HOOT*

Clearly someone who exudes so much femininity and glamour easily snatched Sweden’s wig away and she-

oh.

15. Sweden

The Mamas - “Move”

Entry Analysis

and suddenly the Mamas came out of nowhere and won ahead of the two hot favourites.

I honestly... have no clue how this happened? Not that I’m complaining, after *all the fucking MEDIOCRE-TO-AWFUL MEN* SVT had put is through over the years, I was more than pleased to witness that 2020′s Melfest had turned into a feministic battle royale of various women in differing stages of ‘sass’ grinding the beta manfolk into soylent paste. Loved it.

What, I didn’t love however, is the end result, oops! Yes, I like ‘Move’ and The Mama’s are, probably by default, my fave Swedish entrant since Måns, 

However... 

‘Move’ is just so... plain?  

Honestly, if this were any country other than Sweden, would we even have paid attention to ‘Move’? It’s your average inconspicuous disney soulpop. You could rewatch “Hercules” and stumble upon a “Move” every 20 minutes or however far apart the Muse scenes are. Generic cliché soul remains generic and cliché even under Sweden’s flag, folk, I am so sorry to tell you. 

However, my main gripe with ‘Move’ is largely that it beat Anna and Dotter and well... that doesn’t fucking matter anymore? If I’m going to be deprived of Anna and Dotter, I’d rather have them lose fair and square to a likable, if vastly inferior entry, than to have them conned out of Eurovision by what Queen Senhit refers to as “Il Maledetto Virus”.

So all there’s left for me, is to enjoy “Move”, which I do. I like the Mamas, whose materal warmth permeates through every note and transforms “Move” into... well, almost a good song. 

I suppose I’ll add an addendum for “In the middle” because the ONLY scenario where I’ll be discussing that song here is if it wins Melfest 2021 and it won’t. Why won’t it win? Well 1) it’s worse than “Move” and as I just established, “Move” isn’t that good. 2)  Eric Saade Hurricane Clara will take ZERO prisoners when she takes Sweden by Klingenström and wins the televote!!!! 3) Eric probably still wins anyway, continuing the Swedish trend of mediocre male Melfest winners. lol. Sigh.

NF Corner

Since I already linked Hanna and Dotter, I’ll start with them.

Hanna fell under the category of “amusingly bad” for me. Yes, “Brave” is a really bad song, come on now, you must realize this by now, yes? It’s your typical Laurell Barker pseudofeministic bullcrap, dime a dozen. It was a fave simply because it closed semi four. 

What amazes me (and secretly, amuses me), is the speed at which the basics seemed to realize it was no good? Usually it takes Sweden snatching a top five spot before they realize it. Oh well, the sweet prerogative of being a woman participating in Melodifestivalen.

Dotter otoh. Man, I was OBSESSED with Annamazing and I didn’t expect anyone to claim her spot as my fave in Melfest 2020, but then Dotter came, saw and conquered. "Bulletproof” is the perfect song for bedroom karaoke purposes and one that just *oozes* feminist power without forcing it. 

Naturally, a kick-ass woman was never winning a Swedish NF, courtesy of the Austrian Jury (the basics were convinced the Austrian Jury downvoted Dotter by accident but like... look at where Austria is located on a map and tell me *that* is a region known for good Eurovision taste.) Still, “Bulletproof” holds up to this day! I am sure that if Bulletproof had won Melfest and Eurovision 2020 would have gone through, Sweden would have come top 3 and maybe even won. Hopefully “Lidl Tort” can pull an upset on Friday!!!!

And now we talk about Anna:

Anna Bergendahl - “Kingdom come”

Honestly, this song is just “Ashes to ashes” but with an act? Which: 😍 I love ‘Kingdom  Come’ to bits and I especially love how Anna manages to ground her song as a moment. If Dotter hadn’t been there (and if Eurovision hadn’t been cancelled), I would have been SO annoyed by her being robbed twice in a row, but at least she got the recognition she deserved this time around. SLAY MY SWEET GOBLIN PRINCESS!!! (I’d say “queen” but she’s younger than I am o_O)

And, perhaps shockingly enough, I liked a male-fronted act this year? No, not Felix, lmfao - “Boys With Emotions” was a walking seizure and that’s merely refering to the bit you could hear. No, I am of course taking paypur’npenn, riding u leddersh about everyone’s favourite granny magnet:

Victor Crone - “Troubled Waters”

The years have been kind to the memory of Victor Crone because I was looking forward to seeing him in Melfest. Fortunately, he did not disappoint either. “Straight Guy Kui Tuuled Pöörduvad” was the perfect recepticle for Victor Golden Retriever-like personality. He was fun, good and most importantly, harmless. I’M ON MY WAYYYY THRU TRAWLED WAAAAATERSH. 😍 

Freaky Friday Factor

In Melodifestivalen 2020, Sweden literally produced the most anti-Melfest Melfest everrrrr. To a point that it makes 2019′s DISGUSTING RESULTS (reminder: four female acts, all of which were good, were the bottom four, over fucking GARBAGE such as Nano and Bishara 🤢, might I add.). SO YES, I am happy the backlash forced Christer to specifically put together a Melfest that would always crown a female winner, and then his pet fave lost, and then the fan fave ALSO lost in two shocking upsets is just the icing on top. Good job on entertaining me, Sweden, your reward is four Senheads. 

I LOVE MY TOP 14!!! YAY!!!

[the-banannah]

A new Story Idea for Mwah

Ok,, had a pretty weird bits and pieces dream last night, but that's because I had bits and pieces of sleep. (Also, dream space is weird, what happens there I'm not liable for)

OK!

Young Lady (mid/late 20's not sure what age specifically yet) is studying abroad (meaning over in the UK cause I'm in North America) on journalism/reporting.

Her current lease is almost up, so she starts looking for another room to rent, sees an add in the paper for a fairly cheap price, goes to check it out, thinking it's gonna be way too good to be true, cause that price is wayyyyyy too cheap.

The Landlord is there and he's too handsome, but he's also really business like, "Are you so and so?" Says she.

"I am, and I have twenty minutes to show you the house, please don't dawdle."

The 'room' is actually a mansion, super comfy but obviously build in recent years. Landlord (Name's Luke btw) gives her the quickest walk-through of the century, stops back at the parlor and informs her that he's gone throughout most of the week, but would be living in the house on weekends, and would prefer not to be bothered since he's usually decompressing from work.

"What kinda work do you do?"

He's real quiet for a moment and gives her a critical look. ".... Custodial, for a nationwide company-"

"So you're a janitor?" Before she can fix her snide comment, which wasn't meant to be snide, or rude, she just wanted some more clarification-

"...Yes."

His watch beeps (She doesn't recognize the brand) and he informs her that the lease agreement is on the counter, as well as keys, and she's welcome to see herself out. He grabs a briefcase and a funny feathery hat she thought was a piece of art off the wall and leaves.

Other than him leaving a stranger in his really expensive house he didn't seem too bad, didn't give off a funny vibe, and true to his word, the contract and the keys were on the counter.

Contract was pretty straight forward, no friends over on the weekends, no friends or SO staying overnight on weekends, clean up after yourself, food, laundry, water, and electricity were included in rent, she would be a fool not to pass this up, and there was even a 'grace month' to see if she wanted to stay, so her first payment was easily a month away.

She signs the contract, takes the keys and gives herself another walk-through.

She moves in that week with the help of a friend on a Friday. She started to personalize her room, starting with some cleaning, only to come face to face in the laundry room with what she swore could have been a gremlin in flannel. The basket was dropped, she turned and ran-

-head first into Luke, right into his chest, which didn't seem to wind him at all, even though she's now got a headache.

"I said I'd be home on weekends."

"What was that?"

"Tho I suppose Friday usually isn't a weekend-"

"Luke?!"

"-My mistake."

"Is that another tenant?"

"No, that's a colleague from work."

"Why does he look like that?"

"He always looks like that, but he'll be gone by tonight, he just needs to do some laundry."

(This may or may not be the actual word flow, bear with me, it's now 30 min since I woke up, it's all escaping me now 😭)

Anyways, the Lady and the Landlord eventually warm up to each other, even more so when the Lady gets laid off from her work, and ruefully tells Luke she's gonna need to get out of the lease.

He says that he can't break the lease(tho he seems really weird about it, like if he broke it early (even tho it was only a month) he'd be in trouble?), but he can put an addendum on it, that she does house work (he already kept the place spotless) in exchange for rent + extra.

She takes the addendum, and as she starts to clean (Mostly it's just dusting) she notices every Monday there's either a lot of hair, glitter, dried flower petals, just really odd things left over from whatever Colleague Luke would bring over for laundry/a meal/whatever the excuse of the week was.

After a daring rescue from an unsavory fellow, they get even closer, to the point that she starts giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek out the door.

Eventually, Luke comes home on a Thursday, and organizes a nice meal for the two of them, and explains what his job is.

He's a custodian yes, but he deals with supernatural clean up. The Fae have a rave out in the forest, there's going to be over sized mushrooms, glitter up to your shins, and spider webs that shouldn't be so thick, or have writing in their weaving. Trolls have another Civil War, there's a forest missing now. Paranormal, mythical creatures, myths and legends, anything that's out of the 'ordinary', they clean up. And if someone doesn't clean it up, humans will find out.

And sometimes they do, that's the colleagues Luke has been bringing over, humans that need to get cleaned up and sent back out, if their psyche isn't broken. And if it is, they help that human transition into the next stage in their life.

(INSERT MORE PLOT POINTS, THE BIGGEST THING I WANNA GET TO IS A LONG STORY AWAY)

It's been a bit since the dinner, but Luke and the Lady are getting along splendidly. She's got her degree, started freelance reporting on the side, and they've been in a relationship for a while too.

Only downside is that Luke has to keep her secret from work.

And Work wants her to transition to the next stage of her life, or death, whichever happens first.

They have no idea that they've been in the same house for so long, much less dating

She's known that Work might want her dead, she asks Luke that if it comes to that, at least make it painless and/or a surprise.

What she doesn't know is that Luke has a ring meant for her, not a dagger

Work decides that Luke is incompetent to complete the job, so they send The Never Ending Bus (name pending)

It's a bus that only stops to let people on, they never get off, unless they're with Work, even then, it's usually just to take a shortcut rather than flying in a plane.

Luke knows that's a mental death sentence, and tries to follow through with the job, but can't.

As the bus is pulling up to the door

Luke pulls out the ring box and gives it to the Lady.

She doesn't know what it is yet, but gets onto the bus, shortly followed by Luke, who's trying to appear like he's going to work (he's failing, big time)

She and him 'happen' to sit next to each other on the bus, and that's when she looks at the box.

I'll add more as I go, but that's basically the gist! Human gets wrapped up in Fae Cover Up Org, falls in love with one of their most efficient workers, has to go into hiding to live

[vampyrichamster]

Addendum 5/1/20: It has since been brought to my attention that although my essay references two biological genders in terms of just genitals, this isn't entirely accurate. Having pursued more understanding of why this is, it's clear even from a biological sense, there exists a great variance of genitals, gonads, chromosomes and hormones (and that's just in humans) which in combination make for surprising reinterpretations of sex. I didn't mean to ignore that variance, but now I know to consider it too.)

I've been reading with interest how research into the mechanics of genitalia are divided by volume between studies of male parts, female parts or both. Some of the things scientists have found across the animal kingdom are fascinating in their own right and worth a read, but this post is about how much research is concentrated on one gender or both.

About 49% of research into sexual organs is focused on male organs, 44% study both male and female sexual organs and the remainder on female organs alone.

First, why does this matter and why would anyone even need to research this stuff anyway? This needs us to understand the act of procreation as an arms race--a biological arms race waged between both sexes in every species so differentiated. It's about the mechanics of sexual organs, i.e. how locks (female parts) match their keys (male parts) and the lengths each gender goes to prevent them from fitting.

The bias in research towards male organs was attributed to a longstanding idea that female organs serve as passive recepticles, basically just waiting for the right key. This makes the keys more important because of their wide variety. Another reason was that male organs tend to be external and more easily observed. To see inside a lock, you usually need to cut it open.

Far from passive tubes waiting to be filled, when we have looked inside, it's become clear that female organs were very much created to thwart their male counterparts. The race to spread your genes as successfully as possible tends to require mutual agreement. Ducks evolved vaginas that spiraled clockwise, whereas drakes evolved penises that spiral counterclockwise. Unless the duck relaxed her muscles and allowed a drake's penis to inseminate her, even forced sex (and it turns out most duck sex is forced sex) wouldn't guarantee reproduction. Kangaroos have three vaginas and two uteruses, enabling them to birth and decide when to grow three joeys at the same time: one embryo held for safekeeping in a uterus, a newborn joey in her pouch and a joey old enough to leave the pouch. Just as with humans, in any species, being able to decide when to have children helps guarantee their chance of survival. This means being able to mate at the right time, allowing pregnancy at the right time and giving birth at the right time.

Some years ago, an elected politician somewhere made the claim that in a "legitimate" rape, a woman's body has a mechanism to simply reject fertilisation at will, so pregnancies rarely are a result. If we could manage it, the revolution in sexual autonomy probably wouldn't work the way he intended. But that doesn't mean female human bodies simply allow fertilisation to happen between an egg and several million sperm during every act of sex. You know how they say each child is a miracle because the chances of even making a child are so tiny? That's because for humans, it is. A fertilised embryo has about 30% chance of becoming a blastocyst (this is the starting cell package that eventually might implant in the uterus and grow into a baby). Here's the really cool part. Recent research has found that in order to proceed with turning into a blastocyst, the cells inside the embryo need to start expressing genes specific to embryonic development. But each of these cells does it autonomously of each other, on their own schedule. Most of the time, they don't express the gene to develop further at all, or enough cells fail to synch up and do so that a blastocyst never forms.

Again, this is after millions of sperm have managed to fight their way up the uterus and assuming at least one joined with the single egg most women release each month. And before the blastocyst successfully implants in the wall of the uterus, which fails two-thirds of the time.

Here's where I need to add that in spite of the above, I do feel a tinge of jealousy for some of the insane gadgetry our fellow animals have evolved. Dolphin vaginas have a large number of layers and folds, the better to block sperm with. Dolphins are also both capable of enjoying sex and raping other dolphins for the pleasure of it. It's worth noting here that most species don't have parts to prevent forced sex. The locks and keys metaphor is about the race to successfully reproduce, not about successful copulation. But it doesn't diminish the usefulness of every tool we have in the 0kit.

Now, how is studying any of this useful for us? Understanding how sexual parts have evolved and how they can evolve might teach us better ways to deal with ours. Developing ever-more intricate mazes for sperm to lose their way in isn't the only thing vaginas do. Some women have malformed uteruses divided by an extra wall of tissue that prevents embryos from implanting or developing properly. But some animals (such as rodents) normally have uteruses divided into multiple chambers. As an example, figuring out what prompts this trait might teach us why this happens and how to help it.

It's also worth remembering that our sexual tools include the hormones secreted by our physical parts. Because these affect fertility and sexual behaviours, they are tools that can be used to promote and supress reproductive autonomy. Traditional patriarchal thinking makes much of hormones being a source of female impairment. Mood swings during menstruation are signs that women lack the self-control and rationality to take on roles in leadership and adjudication, even over their own bodies. Pregnancy and childbirth lowers their worth as career employees, weakens their commitment to succeed. Never mind that hormones also regulate male behaviour and any imbalance can be said to inject the same impairments to clear-thinking and judgement to men as they would women.

In addition, human beings uniquely possess an array of artificial tools that control fertility to augment our natural locks and keys. So these too become part of the arms race. Access to hormone-based contraception becomes a sin. Imagine if all women had the tools to circumvent menstruation and determine when or if they wanted to be pregnant. That they do but can't use these tools is an artificial barrier created by people intent on wielding the most harm to human health.

I want to be clear here that I believe the reason both genders evolved different sexual parts, the reason we have this biological arms race at all, is ultimately to create the best people we can to survive and navigate the world. Both genders are physically different. The hormones do affect behaviour and also confers specific benefits to our bodies that science is still discovering. But the behaviour itself doesn't determine how smart, educated or capable you are in your modern human job. That's because the knowledge and skills you need to become a doctor, judge or scientist are so far removed from basic survival and procreation they are difficult for everyone, regardless of gender.

The reason we need to study how sex works in both genders of a given species together isn't just because it's twice as interesting. We now know, for example, that most clinical trials have historically focused on male patients and this has meant that the full effects of some medical treatments on women have as a result been poorly evaluated. This has obvious real life implications that could result in injury or death. Understanding the actual nature of sexual organs in both genders and how they interact makes good sense because we have the whole picture on how they, and we, can work together.

I'll leave you with this unfortunate real life example where concentrating on keys neglected the locks. The Japanese parliament greenlighted the use of Viagra in record speed before they allowed modern forms of the hormonal contraceptive pill for women. And although Japanese women can now access oral contraceptives, this is not covered by health insurance there. For reference, the pill was widely approved for use in other countries as far back as the 60s. This happened as part of a much wider patriarchal culture, one that assumes women are naturally predestined to care-giving and motherhood. In the meantime, the Japanese birth rate has plunged below replacement level and stayed there for the past few years. Career women have decided their autonomy and the intense effort needed to uphold it is more important. When women and men do not equally share the conversation on reproduction; when to have, how and who will raise offspring, society fails.