#anyway today's post is shorter because i feel there's. so much to say just about bustoke

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force Country Guide Translation - Part 3

The usual pie chart legend:

Shade

Population: 20 inhabitants GNP: Unknown

Species ratio:

Shade is more of a village than a country. It consists of only a church and associated buildings. So its population is only 20 people. Besides the humans who work at the church, the other species there are elves. They work as guides in the mountain paths. ____

The decline of royalty casts a shadow in the holy land?

A small region at the Sarastone peninsula northeast of Rindo. Back when Guardiana was founded, the Order of the Knights would be frequently sent in expeditions to expand their territory, and this peninsula was the northernmost point they reached, and thus Shade became a holy land directly under the royal family's control. After the wyvern raid from the time of Arissort von Guardiana II's rule, a church was built in this region to appease the souls of the knights fallen in that battle, and the third prince at the time entered priesthood and became its priest. After that it became a place which disseminated Guardiana's ways to all of the western continent, and little by little a town grew around it, thus around 500 years ago it was recognized as a holy city with the priest as sovereign, under the protection of Guardiana's royal family.

Shade's population, including the priest, is a mere twenty people. They are all clergyman who work on proselytizing and studying ancient texts. When it comes to politics, the executive power is Guardiana's, while the judiciary and legislative powers are under the priest's authority. It is generally a neutral state, but takes measures to protect the church against oppressive forces.

Throughout history, the priests have gathered previously lost records about the Castle of the Ancients, decoded ancient texts from all over the continent, thus getting closer to the truth on the Ancients and their civilization with their research. The current priest, Kahn, is in the middle of editing a compilation of this research of the past, named "Prehistory of Rune", and it has gathered attention all across Rune as it might shine a light on the mysteries surrounding the Castle of the Ancients. Unfortunately he's already very old, and many lament that there's aren't enough people to continue his research.

-The church is the highlight of Shade, but behind it is a small village, with some cabins offering guidance to travelers in exchange for payment. People heading to Bustoke should pay for the guides here, or they'll get lost in their way.

-Shade's bell rings once in the morning and once in the evening. The morning time is at 6am, and the evening at 6pm. This bell announcing the start and end of the days is of course heard from Rindo, but some claim to hear it all the way back in Alterone some days.

Priest Kern versus Darksol

Darksol disguises himself as the priest, and appear to the protagonist for the first time. Why did he kill the real priest? The current priest, Kahn, knew a man named Darksol was planning to revive Dark Dragon. He intended to tell Guardiana along with all the information the priests had gathered through the ages, but Darksol became aware of this as well.

Around the time the protagonist got the Orb of Light in the Cave of Darkness, Darksol arrived at the church of Shade, and attacked the priest. Kern might have lost, but inflicted deep wounds on Darksol. That's why he fled from the protagonist that time.

Romanization of the priest's name is my own, as Arthur decides to be unhelpful for this one.

also, I`m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that Darksol fighting the priest and getting wounded, plus the priest’s connection to Guardiana’s royal family, are mentioned in the original game and poofed in the translation, only brought back in the GBA version. I have never pointed out such things before.

Bustoke

Population: 800 inhabitants GNP: 2900 gold

Species Ratio:

The territory isn't big, yet the population is bigger than you would imagine. As for the species distribution, since the terrain is all forest, there's a lot of elves. Among the 18% percent of humans, many have mixed blood. ____

A critical point of modernization arrives to the people in the heights

A diverse country at the north of West Rune. Hunters settled mostly in the forest region among the mountains. As the territory was split between many different tribes, small scale conflicts happened time and time again. In the past, many magical beasts lived in the area, making it an extremely dangerous place, but around 500 years ago, a wolfling hero knows as the Young Wolf King (Zylo's ancestor) suppressed the beasts, and founded the country, unifying the tribes.

As the country has many different races, is crucial to have a strong leadership, and the current king Zylo Dunn Munster (meaning "Zylo, king of the mountains" in the region's dialect) rules fiercely, despite allowing his people many freedoms.

Self-suficient hunting is their main economic activity, so there's not much trading, but the marble and obsidian extracted from the southwest are highly valued as construction materials. However their mining skills are low and haven't been very efficient with these extractions, and thus there's a joint venture with the merchant guild of Rindo to develop modern excavation tools. Also, Bustoke strawberries, which were once eaten even by the magical beasts, and are said to taste great in juice, had their numbers dropped drastically due to overconsumption, and nowadays can only be harvested by the royal family, the exportation to other countries being forbidden as well.

The most distinct point of their livelihood is definitely the unique habitations built in the mountain walls. The natives' faith worship the forest, thus it is forbidden to cut tree for lumber, and on top of that there's little plain terrain, so this kind of dwelling naturally came to be. Since they are on great heights, the temperatures are low. Their designs work well for keeping them cool during the summer and warm through the winter, but in other countries some will still badmouth them as "hole people" or "primitives".

-Bustoke is built among the towering cliffs. It is surrounded by forest and quarries, but that environment doesn't seem to bother them at all. From the tallest point of the country, seeing the Pao bridge is a given, but on clear days with no clouds one can see all the way to the Pao plains.

-The famous bungee jumping of Bustoke. When coming of age, one must jump off a precipice held by nothing but a single rope. Is it a ritual done since long ago for boys born in Bustoke. In recent years, tourists have come to enjoy it as well.

Zylo's full name romanization is from the GBA version. Dunn seems to be a real Irish surname, while Munster is a province in Ireland.

Also, the part about Zylo's leadership seems to be describing his as an enlightened despot, which contradicts his bio describing him as merely as overseer. The bio makes more sense to me given how he is free to leave the country for a good while to fight.

Given this series’ obsession with young heroes I figured the title for Zylo’s ancestor is young wolf hero, however! 青 can also mean blue/green, so technically there’s nothing stopping you from picturing a technicolor furry family for Zylo. Do what you will with this information.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I got an idea from the child reader request.

Like the same wolf in sheep's clothing concept but like FULL SWEET TO DARK PERSONALITY.

Wanna hear?

So basically child reader is like cute and innocent at first sight but IS A TOTAL DEMON, Having a very dark sense of humor, Sometimes out of nowhere walk up to someone of the gang and threaten to gouge out their eyes while they sleep, they are always with an cute expression but turns out that they like to cause chaos and havoc just like Jax but in a more creepy way.

For example, SOMEHOW reader is caught hanging from the ceilling scaring the fuck out of gangle just because its fun. Or staying in the dark waiting for someone so they can jumpscare them.

Basically child reader uses their cute-kid as an advantage to scare others off.

TADC x child!reader who is a menace! (platonic)

wasnt quite sure what to title this so!! some segments may be shorter than others since im still trying to get a hand of writing/coming up with ideas for certain characters (cough cough gangle) (i love her sm but shes so hard for me to write idk why) hope you enjoy! majority of this post is just me tormenting the cast TToTT

CAINE:

oh my god you kind of remind him of bubble but more... flkmddlvm

makes a time out rule when you keep making threats to the other circus members, that behavior is not family friendly!

he might even consider trying to go into the code and censoring your common phrases as well as some other words, if he has the capabilities for that

still tries to be a dad to you, though, wants to be a good role model and guide you in the right direction for the sake of everyone else

the first time you say something... morbid to him he just

slack jawed, stares at you before shaking himself back to reality and just

bro is astonished he was not ready to hear that today, let alone hear it from a small child

POMNI:

you know how in the other post with a child!reader i mention that pomni is vaguely uncomfortable around kids since she knows they can dish out some real cruelty

take this idea and multiply it by 10x

actually looks like that one sad spongebob meme with the big eyes and tear when shes put in charge of keeping an eye on you during an in house adventure

meek attempt to get you to behave

not much to say here imo, since its like an amped up version of the last post :O

JAX:

makes a joke about how youre already entering your edgy phase, he now has to watch his back lest some of his digital fur be shaved off

fear does not come close to describing how he feels when he discovers that you somehow found keys to some peoples rooms. he hopes you dont have a key to his room

and he thought he was hot shit, but no some random kid makes him fear the consequences of his actions

is this his punishment for his constant bullshit? what did he do in particular to deserve this?

instinctively looks up at the ceiling when he enters a room to make sure youre not about to drop on him

congrats, youve instilled fear into the funny rabbit

RAGATHA:

the 'nightmare kid' thing some babysitters go through at least once in their life, but instead of tantrums and such its just you talking about how you sometimes tear apart the dolls that came with your room. to the doll person

very uncomfortable by a lot of the stuff you casually say, even more so because its coming from a kid. though i think she would be uncomfortably be talk like that in general

SWEARS that one day shes going to blink and youll suddenly be right next to her or within her proximity

like on one hand she wants to try to guide you to be less dark, like caine, but i think she would need someone to back her up because she cannot get the image of the torn up dolls out of her head

KINGER:

poor man

like even if the things you said were empty threats, he would be scared shitless

if he isnt already in his fort, hes retreating to it the second he sees you around

kind of funny since kinger is in his late late 40s and youre a kid and hes terrified of you

anyways

less of a discomfort thing and more so scared that youre going to go through with the things you say

he walked into the common area one day and saw you literally crawling across the walls, he was with gangle when he saw it. you see his irises of his eyes shrink

doesnt even bother going to his fort, which is under where you currently are

he just

slowly

backs away, he can find refuge in his room... unless you have a key to his room

ZOOBLE:

less discomfort more annoyance with zooble, i think that while she would find it funny when a kid swears she finds people talking like that to be cringe; kid or not

the only one who isnt really scared of you. sure you threaten to disassemble them constantly and hide their pieces across the grounds to assure they can never be whole again, but they're just internally cringing while you try to make them turn away

in a weird way you two create an odd dynamic where you just go on and zooble just halfway listens, you kinda just talk at them

like while caine tries to be your dad, and ragatha tries to be.. something.. zooble is like a weird 'friend'

probably has the most potential to become a friend and get you to chill, but thats just based on my experience

like if its an attention/reaction thing, zooble isnt going to give it to you, which kind of. ruins the point of it for you, and you just

stop, or at least tone it down over time

or maybe thats just me seeing zooble having the potential to be an older sibling figure

GANGLE:

the gif is gangle when you get your hands on her

i understand that she cries easily, but like, you have probably made her cry at least once either on accident or on purpose

i think shes one of the few characters out of the cast who would probably start avoiding you for the sake of her emotional state, but she would feel bad about it since at the end of the day you're a kid

refuses to go anywhere near you when her comedy mask is broken, because otherwise shes a glum mess

you know how in poppee the performer, kedamono's mask sometimes just. pops off when he gets scared or surprised (well it happens regardless of expression/mood but yk)

gangle does that when she sees you LITERALLY CRAWLING ON THE WALLS LIKE A BUG

how are you even doing that

she doesnt wanna know, actually

"imma tie you up double knotted style" *high pitched crying*

[formulawonu]

mingyu & shopping

summary: best friend!mingyu is arguably the best thing that has ever happened to you but everyone else is in love with him so you have the lucky privilege of humbling him all the time 

a/n: i wanted to post this on mingyu day but i clearly didn’t make it ://  just a small blurb for our birthday boy. belated happy birthday, gyu. i hope you’re smiling everyday <3 also this isnt proofread sorry! also thank u for 500 followerssssss <3 <3 <3

wc: 605 😸

“not everything looks good on you, kim mingyu. reel it in a little.” 

—and that makes lie number three you’ve told your best friend today. the first was telling him how tiring it was seeing his face every morning when he picked you up (it was actually the best part of your otherwise dreary day) and the second was you telling him you didn’t care if he asked this one girl out (it bothered you more than it should have).

mingyu makes eye contact with you in the mirror and scoffs at the look on your face. “i don’t know why i always bring you along with me. you never say anything looks good on me.” he starts angling himself and squinting at the mirror, probably trying to figure out if he really didn’t look good in the outfit. 

it was funny to you that mingyu took everything you told him to heart. whether it be teasing him on how clumsy he could be to how much of a closet dork he was, his reactions to it all always made you laugh. you befriended mingyu in the fifth grade because you were the lone person who had the guts to tell him being tall wasn’t as big of an advantage as he thought it was; you thought it just made him more susceptible to being bossed around to do favors for everyone else shorter than him. he bickered back, saying you were just jealous because you were shorter than him. you replied saying you didn’t want to have his height if it meant not being able to handle the truth of the matter. 

that was the first time someone wasn’t praising mingyu for the things he was simply born with. he thought you were being real and you thought he was cute. it was the perfect dynamic to becoming best friends.

“that’s what best friends are for,” you say. you flash him a smile and he rolls his eyes. “you know i’m hopelessly in love with you regardless of how ugly you look in that sweater anyway.” 

your best friend groans then turns away from the mirror to face you. he starts striking the silliest poses at you (still managing to look good, you add in the back of your head.) he sends you a genuine smile. “i know. and i love you too.” 

your heart flutters even when you know he doesn’t mean it in the way you wished he would. you continue to watch him try on clothes, happily content with wasting away your saturday afternoon like this. 

“are you excited for our date tonight?” he asks you as he pays for his clothes at the register. 

“i’m always excited when you’re paying.” you reply.

mingyu jokingly frowns. “sometimes i feel like you’re just using me for my money.”

“okay, but who else will put up with you?” 

he reaches over and pinches your cheek, knowing you hate it when he does that. you attempt to swat his hand away but he catches it and interlocks your fingers. the cashier looks at the both of you and smiles as she hands over his bag of clothes and receipt. mingyu takes it with his free hand. “you two are so cute. enjoy the rest of your day!” you’re about to protest but mingyu simply says thank you and pulls you out of the store. 

as you walk down the street with your best friend, still hand in hand, you let yourself revel in the simplicity of the moment. this would do for now – maybe forever – as long as it meant always having kim mingyu by your side.

[bisnes-socks]

okay welcome to my second šbj ted talk 😌 today we are discussing (i am rambling on about) composition bc wow!!!!!!! the boys done outdid themselves.

i will be making references to my post about jure and the drums, so if you want to read that first it's here.

because like. isn't it funny how in that drum ted talk, which i wrote and posted hours before the animated video came, i talked about how the beginning of the song, the main riff part with its unexpected drum beat and patterns, feels like it's stomping, and then the video came out and the character stomps away (okay walks with attitude) that whole section? ANYWAY

compositionally speaking i think this one is one of the most interesting JO songs bc it has multiple type of beats, vibes and sections, that go together very well, and they've not only composed the changes between these variations in a clever way, they've also written a song that really allows each member to shine. it's a true band song to me and i loooove that.

note: though nothing i say here is like unique to this song, these aren't like rare or unusual tools they use here. i just think that this song highlights many of them really well.

the first details i want to talk about are certain melodies/chromatic ascensions or decensions. i am unfortunately not physically in a place where i could check exact notes, pitches, keys or anything, so i'm going by ear and i do not have perfect pitch sooo let me live.

but have you noticed that the riff section ends in the guitar doing pretty much the exact opposite as the vocal descension? not after every round of the riff, but before bojan starts singing again. the guitar ascends, chromatically, it goes up note at a time. i don't know if it's the exact same notes in reverse, but the effect is the same but in reverse. now, that ascension does not end on a note that would be as satisfying to end on, no. it creates a sort of tension: we have to go somewhere after this note, we can't stay suspended here. 

but you know how the line "šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio?" goes down at the end? the singing melody descends, chromatically, and it's very satisfying for their listener bc it follows the scale that we're used to in most western music. it ends on a note where it feels good to either keep going, to a new section, as the song does at first, or end it there, as the song also does in the end.

and i'd argue that in the beginning, that bit, the melodic descension down to where the whole band kicks in and starts stomping away, highlights the mood of that section and the purpose it serves in the song. like i keep saying, that part sort of stomps, and it's like.. the part of the song that chugs forward. it has this feeling of going up and down (a good vibe to jump or nod your head to, or walk or stomp to, no?) but it also has this feeling of going forward. the descending melody kind of sends it on its way and we're all going with it.

and that tension carries the verse, which does not have the same forward drive as the riff part. but we have been, melodically, brought to a place, with that guitar ascending, where we want to hear more. so we stay there, with the verse. and where does the verse ultimately take us? back to the stomping riff, to chug forward again. without the riff bits the verses would feel like they're left suspended in tension.

and does it feel like the line "šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio?" is either longer or shorter than you expected, or it has an unexpected rhythm to it, especially for it's place in the song? 

because these little moments that are rhytmically unexpected, like the "šta bih ja..." line, and the drum syncopation, where a hi-hat crash comes a beat later than you expect in the riff section, they create moments that pique your interest as a listener. 

well, it does have an unexpected rhythm and an unexpected time signature. Two bars of 4 and one bar of 2, with the vocal line overlapping with the 1 of the next bar, if i counted right. (disclaimer: if i got it wrong i learned to count as a dancer, not as a musician lmao). and i think that all of that also plays super well into everything i talked about before, and also everything i talked about regarding the drums in the riff section. 

and they're small enough decorations that we're not venturing off into like prog or jazz territory, the song remains in a poprock world compositionally speaking, and the tempo doesn't change until the faster section in the end, which makes it all easy and pleasant to listen, but they change things up just enough to keep the listener super hooked. and then of course the tempo change at the end, at least, will challenge anyone just absentmindedly tapping their foot along like it's backround music, to really pay attention. and i just think it's very clever.

and then the "a ja samo čekam.." part is also an interesting part, bc as i said in my first ted talk, it switches between a more aggressive straight forward beat and a more groovy beat, and that's super clever, bc like. if it was just the aggression through the entire part, it would most likely get a bit exhausting and a bit too much for the composition. so by alternating between the aggression and the downright dance-vibe of the groovy beat, the composition creates progression. so that even the most aggressive bit of the song isn't just... screaming into a pillow, it's going somewhere. shoutout (shautaut) to the bassline in these bits as well!! the bass actually provides a lot of melodic components in that section, bc the vocal line is super one note. it's smart to elevate the bass like that.

and THEN!! the faster bit at the end!! suddenly we're going all arctic monkeys aren't we, and i love it, give me all the straightforward 2010's brit rock vibes and i will eat it up. and this part is like.. releasing everything. all of the tension that has built up, we've kind of reached where we've been stomping off to, and it's time to let loose. and so they do. and then collect it all together with a final "šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio?" and this time we end on that satisfying final note and we're here, we're a little out of breath, but we've arrived and we've got all the jitters out and we're done. excellent way to end the song.

and this is getting extremely long now so i think we have also reached the end of the ted talk thank you goodbye.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hey lovelies!!

Did you know that @bokettochild graduated college??? Did you know that she’s awesome and deserves to be celebrated and have her tumblr family celebrate with her??? Because she 100% does.

So! I’m declaring a graduation party post for Ketto! Reblog this post, tag Ketto, and send her some love/accolades. ❤️ I’ve got a few gifts for her from some of us!

Here’s some art from @nancyheart11!

And some art from @kikker-oma!

And here's a gift from me :D

Lon Lon Ranch had been lovely. It really had. But Legend wasn’t accustomed to staying in one place for too long, and seeing a Hero of Courage settled into such domesticity was…

The veteran sighed, crossing his arms irritably.

At least they were done. A part of him felt bad even thinking that, but he was too annoyed and tired to worry about it much. Malon was wonderful, and he would love to visit again, but… whatever. He woke up irritated today, he was sore and hurting and wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone.

When the sailor bounced over and started talking excitedly to him, Legend did his best to make an exception for the kid. He didn’t have to speak much when Wind was around anyway - the youngest Link usually did enough talking for the whole group.

As Wind started showing Legend his seashell collection, however, the veteran’s patience started to wear thin. His acknowledgements grew shorter by the second, and when the sailor paused to rifle through his bag, Legend pat the kid’s back and walked away to just get some distance.

Which was then taken away from him by Wild stepping in his path. “Hey Vet, I had an idea about your fire rod–”

“No,” Legend immediately said dully. “You’re enough of a pyromaniac. You’re not touching it.”

“Well, technically the captain has it now–”

“And I can take it from him whenever I want. He’s borrowing it.”

“Long-term borrowing,” Warriors pointed out with a smirk as he waved the rod. “Thanks again for that, though.”

Legend waved his hand dismissively, stepping around Wild.

“Hey, I found it!” Wind chirped cheerily, completely missing the fact that Legend was desperately trying to be alone.

“I don’t care,” the elder Hero finally snapped. Wind’s brow furrowed in exasperation and the kid huffed.

Warriors rolled his eyes. “You’re already not a morning person, are you not an evening person either? Is there any time you’re not a grouch?”

Legend felt his ire bubbling more. “Not everyone can babble aimlessly for two hours like you can.”

“What’s eating you up?” Warriors asked, his face pinching in annoyance.

“You are! Anything is! I’m just tired, damn it, aren’t I allowed to be tired?” Legend finally snapped before pointing accusingly at Sky. “Sky’s always tired and nobody gets on him for it!”

The area quieted, most of the boys looking in his direction. Legend regretted saying it the instant he did. Sky’s exhaustion was both a point of contention and a point of concern to many in the group, most notably Sky himself.

Feeling even worse now, the veteran stormed out of the camp, ignoring Wind’s call.

They had traveled fairly far in the day since they’d departed Lon Lon Ranch. A portal has fed into a bright, forested area, and they’d cut their path through hills until they hit the base of a mountain and had settled for the day. With fresh energy within his body, fueled by frustration and an ache he couldn’t put words to, Legend traipsed up a set of stone stairs that overlooked the forest sloping down the mountainside. He traipsed onward, foliage and sticks snapping in his wake, birdsong echoing in the air alongside the distant call of fairy magic. The air cooled the higher he climbed, his face flushed and stinging by the time he emerged from the dense woods.

The vague path he’d been following bled into a wide opening, the peak of the mountain, a place of harshly cut stone and constant winds and a view of the world below. He climbed the rock a little ways before sliding into a seated position, the wind settling a bit as crickets heralded the oncoming dusk.

Legend sighed.

He… hadn’t meant to snap like that, but by the triforce it wasn’t like he hadn’t been trying to hold himself together.

There was the sound of a foot slipping on rock, and Legend reached for his blade automatically when he turned and saw Sky.

The veteran hero froze, unsure what to expect. The Skyloftian was huffing a little, clearly winded, but trying to keep it quiet as he followed Legend’s path up the steep rocks. Eventually, he settled beside Legend with a little smile.

“Sorry for the captain,” Sky offered after a moment. “He means well, but he pushes too much sometimes.”

Sky had followed him all the way up here to apologize for someone else? Legend’s annoyance grew, but it died just as easily. He didn’t have energy to be upset about this anymore. He wanted to be alone, he wanted comfort, he wanted isolation, he didn’t know what he wanted.

“No, it’s…”

It’s more than that. He knew it was. Spending too much time at the ranch… it…

It reminded him of everything he didn’t have. Everything he could’ve had if he hadn’t lost it. And maybe it was stupid to feel that way, especially when he did enjoy adventuring so much, but…

But sometimes it just hurt.

Sky watched him for a little while, body relaxing as he had time to catch his breath. Legend didn’t know what to say.

“Do you miss home?” Sky asked.

Legend huffed. “Not much to miss. Besides, I’m on a new quest. I don’t think about home much.”

The elder Link’s brow furrowed slightly at the words, and then Sky grew pensive, staring out at the view in front of them. A falcon flew across the way, gliding by their line of vision as it let the wind carry it effortlessly.

“I didn’t want to be a Hero,” Sky said softly, making Legend stare at him. The crickets filled the silent void that followed before the knight continued, “It didn’t make sense that it was me. I was the lazy one, the guy who was always tired and daydreaming. I didn’t really have a direction or plan for anything. I just… coasted through life.”

Legend watched him, unsure what to say about the situation and still too caught in his own head to offer words anyway. Sky smiled softly, his eyes distant. “But the goddess had other plans. It’s… comforting to know we all have paths laid out for us, and it’s fun figuring out where we fit in with the world around us, you know?”

Sighing, the veteran hero nodded, gaze drifting to the valley below. He puffed out his chest a little. “It’s an honor to be a Hero. I’m thankful for that honor.”

“Yes,” Sky agreed, though the lilt in his tone indicated there was more to it. “But your path has sucked.”

This startled a laugh out of Legend, harsh and bitter and surprisingly vulnerable. The veteran hero hiccupped and covered his faux pas with a little quip. “That wasn’t the most eloquent way to phrase it.”

Sky shrugged with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not really an eloquent guy. But I can tell when there’s more to things than people say.”

His friend looked him in the eye, eyes seeming to bore into his soul. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Legend was held hostage in the gaze, words caged in his chest alongside his breath.

His uncle. Marin. He’d lost many on his journeys. He’d been isolated, hurt, terrified.

His breath released shakily, shoulders slumping as he looked at his lap, breaking the hold Sky had on him. “.....Yeah.”

The crickets chirped gently as a breeze brushed by them, cooling the hot flush of tears threatening to spill. Legend closed his eyes a moment, letting the wind carry him, feeling his hair tickle his face.

Sky’s hand was gentle on his back. “It’s… okay not to be okay sometimes, you know.”

The words were so simple. Ridiculously simple. Stupidly simple. Legend bit his lip.

He truly did love being a hero, he truly did love being able to help others. Why wasn’t that enough? He didn’t need to let everything else phase him.

It’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

Legend hiccupped. Folded in on himself. Shuddered.

And then he cried.

It was embarrassing, really, and at first he tried to downplay it. The hiccups and sobs tire out of him in startled gasps, but the more he tightened into a ball and tried to muscle through it, the gentler Sky’s hold became.

Legend tried to snap at Sky to lay off and leave him be, and all that came out was a loud hiccup that caught him so off guard he had to laugh at it. Sky took it as an invitation, pulling him sideways so his head settled on the knight’s shoulder, and Legend couldn’t stop the tears and desperate gasps that escaped him.

Sky’s head relaxed over Legend’s, his body warm at the veteran’s side. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t have to. Legend cried until he only had little pathetic hiccups remaining, and the younger Link sniffled, grumbling as he pulled a handkerchief out of his pouch.

Legend blew his nose and had a snippy halfhearted remark at the tip of his tongue before he sighed and pulled away, letting himself be vulnerable a moment longer. “Thanks. I… thanks.”

Sky’s smile was as soft as the clouds overhead, eyes watching him carefully. “You’re welcome. Want to head back?”

The air grew chillier by the moment, and though Legend probably would prefer to stay up here, he knew the others would start to worry. Warriors and Twilight would probably go searching for them soon. He took a breath of the mountain air and let the wind dry his tears, and then he nodded.

When they returned to the camp, everyone was waiting in various states of worry or curiosity. Wind offered a small hello, and Legend smiled at the youngest member, reassuring him that his earlier outburst was not the sailor’s fault.

The veteran hero hugged himself a little, not caring for all the scrutiny he was receiving and definitely not knowing how to backtrack on his earlier outburst. He didn’t have to, though - everyone settled into a routine, worry abated by Sky’s smile and nod. The team huddled around the fire for dinner, a quiet cheer bubbling from Link to Link in the form of snippets of conversations. 

Wind flopped onto the ground with a laugh. “You should’ve seen the captain and the rancher, they were about ready to arm wrestle over who was gonna find you two!”

“Arm wrestle?” Sky asked with a laugh as he slipped his sailcloth off.

“The old man suggested it because they kept trying to one up each other,” Hyrule explained with a smile. “The captain would say it was his responsibility to make sure you were ok and then Rancher would say he was the better tracker and it went on for like forever.”

Four silently laid out some blankets for a softer seating area, and he and Sky settled with a space in between as the knight plopped his cloak over his friend.

As Legend settled beside Sky, comfortably wrapped in his sailcloth, he accepted Wild’s hearty stew and sighed with a little smile. “Thanks. I… I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Ah, yes, you are correct, you absolutely do not deserve me,” Warriors tutted with a false air of superiority and a wink. “But I shall grace you with my presence nonetheless.”

Legend shoved the captain with a roll of his eyes, chuckling despite the maneuver, and the group shared a hearty meal that warmed his heart and soul alongside his stomach.

[whoiwanttoday]

Yesterday I posted about being old despite the fact that I am vibrant and youthful. It's a weird thing, all my friends have gotten terribly old yet I remain hip and young. My main complain was, to really sum it up, is that staying out until 2 AM on a Wednesday night, getting drunk, and eating like a giant cheesesteak right before bed at 3 AM seems to come with a lot of negative consequences these days. To the degree that it will just absolutely destroy your Thursday. Which is, to put it mildly, some absolute horseshit. It seems patently unfair that we only get like a handful of years where we can pull this off. Maybe 10 if you're lucky but that seems like a really big number to me because the more you pull off the late night drunken cheesesteak lifestyle, the shorter that window is. Some people would say there is a lesson there and I am inclined to agree, the lesson is this is all some real horseshit. Someone needs to make some changes. I am not talking legally, like I am not endorsing we let 12 year olds wander the street at all hours of the night drinking and eating cheesesteaks just because they have the ability to quickly recover, sure, it would probably increase the range of time a human being could live this lifestyle free of bodily consequences but I bet there are some drawbacks I am not thinking of. No, I am not looking for legal reform but cosmic reform. I mentioned spiritual matters yesterday and we're going to veer into sacrilege here but if God is so all powerful why can't he just let us live in an absolutely irresponsible manner without consequence? I feel like depending on your source it's been between 300,000 and 5000 years we've been trying it this way and it's just not working. I mean, even if we go with 5000, which is what people who really love the Bible claim, that's more than long enough to go, "We should make these guys a lot sturdier". The fact that I can hit my big toe on a doorframe and feel like I want to die for a good 10 minutes seems like a pretty massive design flaw. I'm not engineer or deity but as a user of the product I am here to tell you it's not up to snuff. Anyway, that leads into today's post, Holly Willoughby, another example of the bullshit march of time. She was at some minor thing this week and that was nice and I saw multiple people comment on the pictures some version of, "I miss her so much". I do, too. There was a point when there were almost constant pictures of her. Now there aren't because she's older and has withdrawn from public life and I think life is worse because of this. Just another example of how we've all been really fucked over by this age thing cause she's pretty and I find her entire vibe and her smile comforting. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Chapter 99 Thoughts: Chasing Unrealized Wishes

Hello everyone. I hope you are doing alright. These past few months have been strenuous in many parts of the world and I hope you are all doing alright and staying safe. 

To be honest, I didn’t expect to see the latest chapter of Houseki no Kuni so soon. I thought it wouldn’t be until December that we’d see another chapter, but this was an interesting surprise to see today.

I just finished reading the chapter and I’m going to be honest with you: I think I liked it more than I thought I would. It’s funny because not much happened in this chapter; it was mainly dialogue between Phos and the new rock lifeform. But the revelations that Phos made through this simple conversation was what really did it for me. I’ll try to elaborate on this a little more.

I must also say, after what happened in the last chapter, Ms. Ichikawa has once again did a good job subverting my expectations when it comes to her story telling. Whether it’s a good subversion or not... that’s up to you. For now, I’m currently leaning on it being “good.” I’ll also talk about this a little in this post. 

Anyways, this post will be much shorter than my long posts because despite me liking the chapter (for the most part, I didn’t have much to talk about here. Sorry that it won’t be as in-depth like I normally write them. This may change in time, so I’ll add more to this post some time later if I make new revelations. For now, I hope this is good enough.

As always, please feel free to share your thoughts. Here we go!

Phos: I will never be satisfied

There are many things I liked about this interaction, but the following pages are the ones I want to focus on. Here’s Phos, who’s offering the new rock all things they believed they needed to thrive in this new world. Limbs, so the new rock can move at their own convenience. Eyes and ears, so they see and hear the world around them.

But the rock didn’t need those things. The rock is content with what they had and didn’t have any desire for more. The rock knows what it is and is aware of it’s imperfections and limitations, but that doesn’t matter to it. They’re happy the way they are.

An exact opposite to Phos, and Phos realizes this. 

And it’s here that Phos makes these realizations: They never really realized what they really wanted and why. And because of that, Phos was never going to feel fulfilled, no matter what they gained or sacrificed. They were driven by their knowledge and their ever evolving desires, but they all came at great costs to them and everyone around them. They could have turned back at any point, but they didn’t. They kept pushing and pushing, even when it meant destroying themselves and everything they once knew. Yes, it was all orchestrated by Aechmea, but Phos still kept the momentum, even when they knew they were being used and manipulated. It didn’t matter to Phos because to them, they were making progress towards something they thought they wanted, even though that “something” never truly comes to fruition in the way Phos originally expects. 

So because they never really figured out what they wanted, Phos was never going to be satisfied with anything, no matter what they’d do. They always strived for more and even when they thought it was enough, it was never enough. One can even say that while some of Phos’s past actions had selfless intentions, they are also driven by lowkey, insatiate selfishness for an unmaterialized and intangible goal.  This endless pursuit costed everything, and now Phos has nothing left. Part of me thinks that’s what Phos also realized here.

Now, I can see how some fans may feel conflicted about this revelation. I haven’t seen the posts yet, but I can imagine some seeing this as Ms. Ichikawa backtracking the character development Phos had until that point and may even see the author somewhat condemning Phos in some way. For those of you who feel this way or don’t agree with what was said in the chapter or my post, please feel free to share. 

(And please let me know if I’m reaching; I was trying to think of the possible reasons why someone may not agree with what transpired in the chapter and I could be overthinking here)

Regardless of what fans may think of this chapter, this is a very bold admission for Phos to make. But I think this revelation needed to happen. Heck, this conversation as a whole needed to happen for Phos because they needed to hear this new point of view, especially from someone/something who was not directly part of the past events. Why? Because even after the dust had settled and the original source of Phos’s suffering is no longer there, I don’t think Phos would have ever realized they were in yet another never ending cycle of personal suffering.

Sometimes a complete outsider’s perspective is all one needs to get the big picture and helps one appreciate the little things that were once overlooked. And what a better option to get that perspective from than a specimen who is both similar and nothing like you. This interaction, even though it ends with Phos having a bittersweet mentality about everything, I think this interaction was lovely and helped with their character development in more ways than one. I’m sure it’ll care on to the next chapter. Speaking of next chapter...

Edit (I wanted to quickly add this after rereading the end of the chapter): I was thinking about Phos and the rock’s comments about the white dwarf star and I needed to double check my research on the lifespan of stars. A white dwarf is one of the final stages a star can go through when it depletes its fuel. If that dwarf is the original sun, that means it’s going to “die” and become a black star. I wonder if this little tidbit is intended to be foreshadowing for what will happen to the Earth and to add onto the many symbolisms of this story. Please let me know what you think!

The Story From Here On Out: What happens now?

It’s funny how a few predictions I and several others had made in the past have somewhat come true in this chapter, though clearly not in the way I’d expected:

Phos being the one left behind in some way

Phos finding new gems/ specimens and starting a new society

Phos taking over Adamant’s old position in more ways than one

Phos will have a bittersweet end to their story (Still to early to call but everything is leading to this direction)

After the last chapter, I didn’t think anything of these old predictions to happen because honestly, I wasn’t sure if Phos was even going to still exist after their prayer with how it all looked. I’m glad and sad that Phos still existed afterwards. But now the question is... what happens now?

Will Phos continue to find other rock or inorganic life forms to create a society with? Or will they let them just exist in their own way, just like their new rock companion? And will Phos just continue to exist without any reason or goal anymore? Who knows.

But I think now that the remaining human remnants are gone and Phos no longer has direct connections to them, Phos will now properly be able to decompress and reflect. This will not be like the times before where Phos was completely alone for thousands of years or buried alive or left in a coma. This time, Phos isn’t alone and is with a being who offers them a much needed fresh perspective. I mean, this simple conversation was able to help Phos in a unique way. Maybe future conversations with this rock and any other species Phos comes across will help them more. They might be able to find a new happiness where they are now.

(Also, isn’t it funny how this rock lifeform that barely knows Phos showed more care to Phos than most of the past characters that grew up with Phos? I’m not surprised)

Wow. This story really went in directions I didn’t think they’d go in. I reread the first chapters of the series and yeah, if I were to go back in time and reread the story from start to this, I wouldn’t have predicted most if not all the events that happened. (BTW: The blackout out pages in this chapter were a very cleaver call back to the first chapter. Someone else made a post about it and I thank you for making the connection)

But beyond the small predictions I just made, I don’t know where else the story can go from here. And I can’t help but think it won’t go on for much longer. With how everything is paced and the fact that the 100 chapter will be released next month, I honestly think this story is going to end there. I know many people believe that it’ll end on chapter 108 because that number is relevant in Buddhism and maybe they’re right. But I just wonder... what else could happen? Despite the many loose ends that have been mentioned by myself and many others, I don’t think they can be resolved now. Maybe Ms. Ichikawa has another plot twist up her sleeve somehow. I don’t know. I’m not going to think too hard about this right now.

But one thing’s for certain though; this crazy ride of a story is almost over and I’m still sticking to it to the very end because I need to see how it all ends. There are still many things I feel iffy about when it comes to some of Ms. Ichikawa’s decisions with this story, including characterization and pacing. But despite my criticisms, I still enjoy this story and even if the ending doesn’t meet my expectations, I know I won’t regret staying with it to the end. I know not everyone feels the same way, but to each their own.

Sorry that this post isn’t as insightful as my past posts. Maybe I’ll come up with a follow up post later after having more time to think about it. Anyways, thank you for reading and please feel free to share your thought! Stay safe!

[tiktowafel]

Hey, I love your art style and your work on class 1B. I was just wondering if you have any recommendations for fics that are 1B centric, maybe even stories with someone like Setsuna as a main character. I love the MHA fandom, but it's sometimes hard to find those good stories with all the fan generated content, an I was hoping another 1B lover would know what's what.

thank you, and sure! i don't actually read that much fanfiction (my taste is rather narrow), but here are a few ones that i read and enjoyed! i'll put it all under the cut because my summaries ended up making this list kinda long lol

'Class 1-B' is Trending #1 in Japan - 9k words and absolutely hilarious crack oneshot with a lot of chatfic/social media elements. Tsuburaba accidentally turns one of Monoma's rants into an international meme, which results in 1-B becoming incredibly popular and the League of Villains being defeated in the dumbest way imaginable. the fic is restricted to AO3 users, since i don't have an account there i can't check if the link works but i really hope it does :'D

Adrift - long (13k words) and extremely angsty space horror oneshot with Setsuna as the main character. AU where class 1-B are a space crew and a mission goes terribly wrong, leaving Setsuna, the sole survivor, floating hopelessly in space and thinking about everything that happened. 10/10 made me feel extremely uncomfortable for the rest of the day

Mindfucker Has Closed the Chat - 9 chapter 17k words long very chaotic Monoshin chatfic (with one non-chatfic style chapter) where Monoma texts the wrong person and ends up befriending Shinso without knowing who he's talking to. the fic is tagged "attempt at humor" and i gotta say that the attempt was 100% successful, this thing is hysterical and i audibly laughed several times while reading it

Picture Perfect - i know i hardly ever talk about Kosen on this blog despite the fact that it's one of my favorite ships, but one day i'll post something about them i promise- anyway this tiny 2k word fic is pretty much what made me ship them. it's just... very good and very sweet yknow

Unlikely and Unusual - a oneshot collection made for one of those rarepair month events. it's not specifically a 1-B fic, but some of the oneshots feature 1-B characters and the ones i read are very cute :)

the one and only The Heart of a Hero - 345k words and recently updated after a long hiatus, basically a 1-B fandom legend. It has everything: drama, epic fights, romance, slice of life, character backstories, it's pretty much what BNHA would have been if it was about 1-B. A lot of things in it are inaccurate to canon because it was first written before the joint training arc even came out, but that just makes things more interesting in my opinion (dude i actually wish Reiko's quirk was like this in canon)! it's actually one of the main reasons why i got so invested in 1-B in the first place, i couldn't recommend it more!!

The author of THoaH has also written many other, shorter stories about 1-B, so their entire profile is worth checking out! my personal favorite out of these fics is I Want to Break Free, a 6k word oneshot focusing on Setsuna and her family.

and now for what is probably my personal favorite:

When Die Rolls Differ - 294k words and counting, canon divergence/butterfly effect fic where class 1-B is the class who gets attacked at the USJ instead of 1-A and becomes more involved in the main conflict of the series as a result. honestly i don't even have the words to describe it, it's so good, the character interactions and backstories, and the fights, and the humor, and the way 1-B students fit into the events that originally only featured 1-A characters, and the everything!! just!! dude!! it's amazing!! and there's so much love and thought and creativity put into it!! please check it out because this fic has my whole heart <3 it's also on a break right now, so you have time to catch up

aaand that's it for today! there are probably more fics that i like, i just can't remember them rn, so i'm planning on updating this post every time i remember a nice fic or find something new!

sorry this took so long i may have procrastination issues

[elliespuns]

Hi

Just coming on here to clear up a couple things and mostly to apologize. I left the anon on the confessions account about your blog and the anon that got published mentioning your blog specifically was one I assumed would not be posted after seeing the confession page requirements (that say no user mentions will be published) after I had submitted it. I resubmitted an ask taking out any users and that anon was focused as a general point on accounts that I have seen scrolling through the Ellie tag on Tumblr (not your blog) that actually have posted really concerning and bordeline perverted things about young Ellie (ex weird sexual AI art of young Ellie, weird comments about Bella Ramsey not looking enough like Ellie/saying Ellie in part one of the game was more attractive) I have never seen a post from your blog that I thought was perverted and that is a point that I feel was worth reaching out through here about. I have thought that there is potentially odd tone used in some posts with younger Ellie where also your language sounds like an older writer but you have cleared that up and said all your good intentions with your recent post. I never intended to make you feel like you should leave Tumblr and I think you have contributed positively towards the tlou community on Tumblr I am just overly cautious and was trying to say a potential concern as in my main fandom group there has been a lot of really strange blog posts about characters on tumblr who are minors before. On tlou Tumblr and tikok I have come across many posts involving teenage Ellie in the hotel flashback of part 2 in weirdly objectifying ways and that is more so where the concern was based as at that point she was still a kid. Please don’t leave tumblr because of this and again I am sorry for the harm this has clearly caused as that was truly never my intention. There are blogs on here who do post things I find truly concerning but you are not one of them.

Um, okay, I did not expect this. I am completely stunned. In the best way possible. It surprises me that people who once wronged someone anonymously would stand up and take their time to explain or even apologize. 

I've checked the confessional blog again today, and the post is gone. I have no idea if it was you who made this happen, but anyway... thank you for coming through to apologize and get rid of the post that was making me look very bad for those who have never interacted with me. 

I realize it may look weird when my pfp is young Ellie and some of my 'thirsty' posts are about Ellie. To be honest, up until now, I'd never even thought about explaining that none of these posts have anything to do with her young self. Not even in a million years would I think that people would read such posts on my blog and think they were aimed at our kiddo.

Look, I know it'd be better to specify whether I'm talking about young or adult Ellie when sharing unhinged posts without pictures, but honestly, it'd feel over-the-top crazy to me.

Firstly, why would I try to disrespect or creep around the only character I've ever loved so much? Secondly, not only does specifying such details take the fun out of the content that is supposed to be spontaneous and cheeky, but it's also very restrictive.

This blog is a place I love coming back to; why would I even try to post anything concerning when I know how overly sensitive this fandom is? I don't even feel safe venting any of my opinions about the show here because it's so easy to get hate for thinking out loud, so why would I risk losing all the wonderful people who have been following me from the start by acting like a predator towards young Ellie?

And it's just so funny because I may be 30, but in reality, I'm shorter than Ellie, and I even look younger. So if anyone's molesting anyone, it's Ellie molesting me. (That's a joke, obviously). Why am I even explaining it?

As I said before, my consciousness is clear, and I have no problem attaching my real face to this blog because I know I've never shared anything discourteous or impertinent and never will. Do you really think this potato head would be capable of thinking profane things about baby Ellie? I don't even know what profane is (I do, but don't tell anyone).

Anyway, I was truly baffled and disappointed when I read the confession because I understood NOTHING. I kept thinking about it for a long time, and I couldn't get it out of my head that someone would go through my posts and feel off about the content they saw.

I don't want to spend my time overthinking every post before sharing because, god forbid, I use ONE specific word or phrase and everyone will think of me as a molester. 

I like to joke on my blog. I do that... a lot, actually. So most of my posts need to be taken with a grain of salt. Especially those that literally scream 'sarcasm'. So you either need to get used to my humor and understand I'm not always deadly serious (unless the topic requires it) or you need to unfollow and move along because I won't be apologizing for my passion to make posts based on my spontaneous thoughts. I don't want to tiptoe around people because there's always someone who doesn't like this and that.

I also think it's important to realize that Ellie (as a game character, not talking about the show) is a pixelated, fictional character. Not only don't I ever try to disrespect her, even though she's just a bunch of pixels, but she's also not real (even I'm shocked right now), so nothing anyone says about her online can really hurt her. Not the Ellie this blog is about.

I get that people get overprotective of her (I do too) because damn, it's so easy to forget that this girl doesn't exist in the real world, but to the point of hating, reporting, or harassing? I don't think that's right either.

Anyway, thank you for coming through. I appreciate it, and all is okay. I wonder who you are now. Oh, and if it was really you who requested the ugly post to be taken down, thanks for that too.

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog July 2, 2023

So I'm mad at my beta! We were chatting back and forth on Discord originally about my WIP fic I'm writing. Yes, the one were I wrote the first 7 chapters back in 2007 before HPDH was released. Anyway, the fic will have 4 parts, and part 1 is the original. I asked her to beta the older chapters so they would be ready to go. Ummmm, she mentioned the whole premise of the fic, was making her anxious. So I stopped her from doing anymore and said no worries. Betaing should not cause stress. Okay we'll get back to me needing a beta at the end of the blog today.

But this is not why I'm mad at her. No.... she mentioned she's writing for @hd-fan-fair this year and did I take a look at the prompts. I said absolutely not because I always get sucked in. So we chatted some more and she said oh just take a look and tell me which one you would write for if you were participating this year.

You see where this is going don't you... Since my muse is on fire these days. I spotted a prompt and boom, full shorter story popped into my head. The final lines and everything. So, yes, I've joined the fest and I blame my beta! Actually, I love @myaulophobia dearly.

What I'm reading:

Yesterday I said I would be reading the first posted story for @hd-wireless. Um, that will be tonight. Because I was just taking a look at my Tumblr feed when @drarryspecificrecs posted the longest Drarry fics for June. Bam! So I read Tandem (92K) by fast-brother (AO3). Who is also another NEW author. OMG where are they coming from? We are so blessed in Drarry. This story, this story I read until I fell asleep last night and woke up early on this Sunday morning to finish it.

Here's the summary: Harry and Draco meet by accident six years after the war. Harry's an Auror with a drinking problem and Draco's a broke student. Things don't work out well. Six years after that, Draco joins the British Auror Office as a Potioneer.

Here's a little more from me: Draco was sentenced to 15 years probation of No Magic and all vaults and Manor confiscated. Lucius and Narcissa were sentenced to Azkaban. The Ministry was a mess during the trials and the Ministry is still in a mess. Ron is Head Auror (love this!) and Harry is also a mess. Great Auror, but drinks too much, has sex too much, and works to hard to push down those hard to deal with feelings.

The story is written from alternating POV, which is quite nice and helpful in understanding the place where both of them are coming from...not a good place originally. The story starts with the meeting after the first 6 years, which is rough. Then Draco moves on, marries, and makes something of his life as Potioneer in France. However, he has no magic so he's learned to do things for himself instead of relying on others' magic to help him. Draco is hired with insistence of one Ron Weasley to come back and work for the Aurors as their UK DMLE Potioneer. Then sparks start to fly...

This fic has one of the best relationships between Ron and Draco that I've read. Hermione too, but mainly R & D. They all love Harry, but...... And Harry, oh I love this Harry despite his being an arse in so much of it. However, he has his story and his telling of what happened in the Forest is unforgettable. And you, too, will fall back in love with our Harry.

There are so many scenes that are memorable but I'm not going to say anymore. You need to read this fic and give one of our New Drarry authors love.

Tandem on AO3

Rom needs Beta Help!

Let me state up front that I do have an Alpha, the wonderous and amazing @m0srael. What I'm looking for is a strong SPAG beta and if you can spot inconsistencies and/or canon issues, even better. I'm an engineer by trade and cannot tell you the last time I took an English/grammar class. I'm terrible with my commas! As my beta was also my Britpicker... I might need one of those later on.

Here's the link to The Azkaban Letters so you can read all of the pairings and warnings. Yes, it is a Drarry fic but.... The prologue is also available to read. The fic, I think will come in at about 200K. I have 90K written. It's broken down into 4 parts and Part 2 will be the longest.

I'd list more but no need to bore most of you. So if interested take a look at the link and prologue. If that doesn't scare you and are interested, you can DM me here on Tumblr.

Thanks for this personal indulgence!

Rom

[fleshsigil]

today i laid down - review

//content warning: discussion of depression/self-harm/suicide

And we let it out Where they can't see In my room, up your arms Who will you dress as tonight? And why's it always me?

this EP was an especially hard thing to review for me. probably even harder than the sky may be, considering the subject matter and backstory, but i think it's something i absolutely need to recommend anyway because it needs to be heard.

today i laid down is a cathartic, lilting fusion of post-rock and classic alt-rock released in 2023 by kai wesener under the pseudonym bl4ck m4rket c4rt. when i was originally recommended this, i was skeptical; i don't rate music with numbers because that's stupid, but needless to say, it is now in my top 3 EPs of all time. i think it is truly one of the best pieces of music that i have ever listened to.

today i laid down consists of only six songs, but it feels like a full-length album. i can't explain it. the soundscapes and crescendos are constantly mutating, but still cozy and acoustic. the mostly acoustic sounding instruments lend the songs this beautiful, shoegazey texture that is incredibly lush and full of life. at times, there are cowbells, triangles, pianos, and xylophones that also add an extra layer of depth and beauty to the songs. the only thing that i can really say about the actual songs is that they're fucking amazing. there is not a single bad, or even okay, song on this entire EP. each one has its own unique identity, but they still fit together perfectly as a whole. there are parts with rich, warm synths; there are parts with psychedelic keyboard sounds. it all works. kai obviously has an incredibly good ear for music theory and sound design, because the songs manage to be pretty catchy while also having this unique, ecstatic, layered feel that not much else has. there's the transcendentality of sigur ros, the blown-out shoegazey textures of mogwai and my bloody valentine, and the warmth that radiates from most acoustic indie rock projects. a few of the songs are shorter than 3 minutes or so, and still manage to feel drawn out and constantly changing. i think it's a masterclass of instrumental layering and rock fusion.

the lyrical content combined with the cathartic, yearning instrumentals is what makes this EP truly impactful and haunting. if you don't pay attention to the lyrics, then the EP might appear somewhat happy, or just wistful. if you take into consideration the events that transpired a few months after the EP released, these lyrics, which are barely audible over the drone of the guitar, are utterly fucking haunting. they are no longer empty threats or thoughts converted into music. the lyrics themselves detail traumatic memories, self-harm, feeling inadequate, not wanting to get out of bed, and dying together but alone. saying that what happened after its release made the EP "better" is completely untrue and completely distasteful; if anything, it's all the more haunting and fucked-up. the lyrics went from something being sung to a collection of thoughts, painting a picture of the mind of someone who was suffering. i have been in that headspace before, and still am sometimes, and this EP is like a reminder to not let myself succumb. not like a cautionary tale, but more of a fucked-up testament to the fact that depression is real and immediate and it kills people; it hurts everyone around you, too. the first time that i read about the backstory of the EP, half an hour later i was listening to it again, looked at the cat on the album cover, and almost cried. all i could think about was the fact that the cat probably misses its owner a lot, or wonders where he's gone. then i thought about my own dog, and the fact that she would probably miss me a lot too, and i told myself i would try my best to not let myself give in.

this EP is truly one of the best things i've ever heard, lyrical and thematic impact aside, and incredibly cathartic. it emanates blissful, bitter acceptance and hollow warmth. overall, it is a must-listen, even if the subject matter doesn't pertain to you.

rest in peace, kai.

LINKS TO EP ON SPOTIFY AND BANDCAMP BELOW

(i post music recommendations sometimes, if you want more of that kind of thing, you should follow me)

(PS: i totally lied about doing a happier album that's not about crushing depression, who knows what i'm going to review the next time. probably more sad shit.)

[memberment]

Magical Girls 2.0

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE UPDATES ARE GOIN HERE TODAY BC I WILL PROB BE GOING AT THIS FIC ALL DAY

5:56pm: 16.6k deep. Craig trying to gaslight Wendy is arguably the funniest fucking thing in this rn bc they both know it's not gonna work and he STILL tries to do it.

7:12pm: I'm working on both chapter 6 and 27. No, they have absolutely no connection, I just keep getting ideas for 27. When I tell y'all I am obsessed with 27 rn, I really mean it. Like the end just UGH. I hate it. It's so sad. Anyways I'm 17.5 into the main story rn. More art may get posted today though bc I'm currently over writing and I have nothing to watch LMAO

11:40pm update: I'm 21.2k deep and chapter 7 is DONE‼️

I am not yet certain if it is on the shorter side or six is on the longer side. Guess we'll find out soon. Average rn is like 3kish. I kinda want them to be longer but I also like keeping the chapters like majority one character centric bc of what this is so Ill prob be keeping it this way. On my way to chapter 8‼️🦅🔥

4:03 am update: Howdy I'm 24.6k in and shutting down for the night. I have gotten distracted too many times and honestly I'm about to reread what I have so far and make sure it reads well because I feel like I've blacked out the entirety of writing this. Like I just keep going. But chapter eight is done. (Hopefully.) Also it's looking like this is gonna be a 3k per chapter fic which I will begrudgingly cope with. And lastly, let me just say. Clyde and Kenny are so fucking cute in this fic I'm sick.

Actually that wasn't lastly. I'm debating on having art to post for every chapter. Someone tell me why that's a horrible idea because this is gonna be around 40, possibly 40 and change. And that doesn't include parts two and three. Okay actually no one has to tell me why that's a bad idea I already talked myself out of it as I'm typing this. There's still gonna be a lot of art for this fic though. Like everyone has their fun wire pic, not just Stan and Tweek. And I kinda wanna draw all the angels I throw in. And there's a few other things that I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT BC I WILL SIT HERE AND SPOIL WAY TOO MUCH.

Goodnight everyone. Hope y'all are coping well with existence this evening. I am personally making mine everyone else's problem. 💖

[decepti-thots]

re: writing fandom meta and why there might be less of it recently - the fandom spaces I started out in ~15 years ago didn't have any meta, at least not in the way they have now, so the whole thing is comparably new to me. and then the meta I see always posts that seem to take SO MUCH of canon/background knowledge into account, so many things that I haven't even heard of. and there's so many posts criticizing (parts of) fanon and common fannish opinions, which I often understand, but which also feel a bit elitist and doesn't make me wanna try putting my thoughts on a piece of media into words just to get criticized. finally, I also don't know how to - last time I analyzed media was in school, and I was never good at it.

Thank you for this ask anon, first off! All of this is really interesting to hear, and a lot of it lines up with things people said in shorter responses directly on the post, so it looks like there's definitely some overlap in terms of common pain points in terms of this stuff. (And not just "pain" points, to be clear- folks also basically said that they preferred expressing their ideas through fiction, which is fair, and not really a thing that exists as something causing friction, per se, as much as an active enjoyment of fanfic as a way to express ideas.)

I hope you don't mind if I use this response as a launching point to give a few of my personal thoughts on this, because you so happened to bring some stuff up I kind of wanted to give a perspective on anyway. Not necessarily as a direct response in all regards, but it seems as good a place as any to touch on my own feelings? (Under a cut, feel free to skip this, if you do then thanks again for responding!)

The point you make about how meta wasn't much a thing in fandom spaces you were in 15 years ago is interesting, because one of the things I always think when I see the argument there's universally "less meta" now than there used to be is: does at least some of this stem from the folks saying(/bemoaning) this come from them being in different fannish spaces that the ones they're in now and not realising? It's a similar thing to when people confidently assert "people comment less on fics than they used to", where I can't help but wonder how much of that is just that the fandoms they are in today have different ways of engaging with fanwork, or different expectations, or that the fandom spaces they used to be in commented a lot relatively speaking. 15 years ago, I was in fandoms mostly based around LiveJournal communities, which were often assumed to be the obvious "centre" of fandom activity by folks in said communities. (Incorrectly; LJ only looked like the "main hub" of all online fannishness if it was where you and your fandoms mostly clustered, IME.) A lot of those were media fandoms (though not all) and those tended to have a lot of meta, I would argue at least in part because LJ as a "format" encouraged the posting of long, pre-mediated posts that lent itself well to folks wanting to write meta. But some other fandoms (a lot of anglophone animanga fandoms come to mind) tended to not have nearly as much because people were mostly engaging with them in places and communities where those things didn't line up in a way that encouraged it. The move to Tumblr and even Twitter as big fannish platforms where things work differently is then probably also of note, idk!

(Sidenote: the AO3 meta wars when it launched are probably worth mentioning, since the push to allow fannish nonfiction on AO3 was in part a result of Tumblr seeming like a very bad replacement for LJ when it came to posting essays!)

Anyway, a really common thing that seems to be cropping up is the "if I post an opinion as meta, it opens me up to [potentially virulent, potentially bad-faith] criticism, and that sounds unfun" fear. Which on the one hand is not necessarily untrue because I think even now fannish norms around meta are just a little different than other forms of fanworks, yes. Meta is usually seen as, on some level, an invitation to discussion in a way that e.g. fanfic often isn't. What I do think is interesting to think about here is it seems like there's not a lot of faith that there could be productive, even fun disagreement on specifics and readings. I'm not saying that wariness is necessarily wrong, to be clear. (I have been on the receiving end of plenty of virulent, bad faith "criticism" in my fannish life, haha. Or just... like... bad criticism that is tiring and unproductive and unnecessary, lol.) I mention it more because it seems worth explicitly saying that the assumption that being contradicted, corrected and/or argued with is an inherently unpleasant or even disciplinary way to experience fandom is one that seems to be pretty deep-rooted in fandom right now, and it seems worth pointing that underlying principle out.

To bring that back a little to the "platform shapes the fandom engagement" thing, I do think the way Tumblr works contributes to that. Reblogging to add additions has a very different impact that replying to someone else's static blogpost, and reblogging is (as people do keep pointing out on viral posts, haha) the primary encouraged form of interaction on this site. It's different in multiple ways; a person reblogging something often feels like they are talking about your ideas in the abstract and not by talking to you as a person which can encourage a very different tone and approach on their part and make their addition read very differently. And it also means that your post may not just be contradicted, but the contradiction may wind up being exposed to huge numbers of people as the default way of seeing your post and opinions. That makes the idea of being subject to that disagreement higher stakes, I feel, and also the idea of productive back-and-forth functionally impossible a lot of the time. (It also means having a full conversation often requires constantly spamming your followers, let alone multiple convos.)

So I fully get it. But I do also think it's a shame that it can be really hard to imagine fannish communities where disagreeing back and forth on different ideas about a canon or text is... fun? I guess? I sometimes find that stuff fun, is the thing! When done in a good faith way and an environment it works in. You wind up with all these interesting perspectives that may run very contrary to your own but still have interesting ideas in them, and sometimes you wind up with opportunities to expand on ideas you had but hadn't yet found a way to articulate them. I don't think that's going to be fun for EVERYONE but I think it's a shame that it seems so universally... terrifying, for a lot of people? Fandom is a very good place, if nothing else, to practice getting comfortable with low-stakes intellectual disagreement. (Because for most things, it really is low-stakes as hell.)

I do want to touch on the elitism comment though. I find that... a strange perspective tbh? It's true that doing analysis generally holds a baseline expectation of familiarity with the canon, but I can't really see how that can reasonably be called "elitist". Similarly I think there's a sense where someone will sometimes see people strongly dislike a thing they enjoy and feel the need to argue why that person is "wrong", such as when folks defend their fave fanon against folks who find it tiring/uninspired/etc. I think this post really sums my thoughts on that up, tbh. Sometimes what can kneejerk feel like a person passing judgement on you is actually them being a bit bitchy in their own space knowing full well they're talking about their own taste and nothing more. IDK.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I'm in a bad mood and just straight up using this blog as a diary at the moment. Please excuse the indulgence, posts about old pictures of Chris Addison or whatever it is that I usually have on here will resume shortly.

Reasons why I’m in a bad mood today:

1) Got into an argument with my brother about comedy yesterday, which is always a bad idea, as he has been performing comedy for 13 years but has an incredibly bleak view of what comedy’s supposed to be. This is the first time I talked to him about comedy, and one of the very few times I’ve talked to him at all, since Christmas 6 months ago, when he said doing caricature Chinese accents isn’t racist (for the record he's never done anything like that in his set, it was just hypothetical, but he's the one who brought it up, I don't go looking for fights like this) and I said yes it is and he laughed and called me an oversensitive snowflake and then my mother burst into tears and yelled at my grandparents that they may as well go home because her children have ruined Christmas again with their chronic inability to get along. You know, fun family stuff. I know it could be much worse.

Anyway, I got into an argument with him yesterday that was not about racism, it was just about whether comedy should be focused on soulless commercialism and prizing a shallow club set over something more thought through (not saying all 20-minute club sets are shallow, but the ones he was bringing up are), and it contained the exchange:

My brother: He hasn’t even done a full show.

Me: Yes he has! I don’t know how many, but I’ve heard a recording of his Edinburgh hour in 2017, so that’s at least one. Pretty sure he’s done a bunch more.

My brother: Oh that doesn’t count, that’s a fringe festival, anyone can set up a show there and sell a few tickets because there’s a big enough audience to draw from. I mean he hasn’t done any show where you have to actually get booked.

And then I went home because too much exposure to that perspective on anything was ruining my soul.

2) Applications to work in a school in September have just opened. I applied to 20 schools across the city and I really, really want to get one. I’m okay where I am now, I know I’m privileged compared to many people, and compared to where I was just over a year ago, to be looking for jobs while already having a stable full time job, so I’m not desperate to find something due to risk of unpaid rent if I fail. But I really, really want a school job. For a whole bunch of reasons, the most shallow/least important overall, but also the one that feels most significant right now, is I am getting exhausted and burned out right now, and I would love to finish my UK trip in mid-August and then have a few weeks off work before starting a new job. Instead of getting home from a very busy trip and having to go to work on Monday morning and then having no more time off than 2-day weekends/a couple of 3-day weekends until we get our week off at Christmas. Again, I’m aware that I’m coming from the very privileged position of having a 2-week holiday booked while having a fulltime job (a job that gives me weekends off and a week off at Christmas, lots of people don't get that). But it’s a very tiring fulltime job, and a severely underpaid fulltime job (a school job would be about $8/hour more than I get paid now, and that would still be quite a bit below the national average hourly wage, for a job that is definitely harder than the national average job), and I am tired. I would like a school job where I still have to do this hard work but with somewhat shorter hours, for more money, and with more time off throughout the year. I really, really want that.

Anyway, yesterday I got an email from what would be one of my top few schools in the city where I’d most like to work, offering me an interview. I got really really excited, and then an hour later they sent a follow-up email saying they’re canceling the interview. One sentence, no explanation of why.

3) It’s too fucking hot. It’s too hot. It’s too hot it’s too hot it’s too hot and my place doesn’t have air conditioning.

I was thinking of this today, when you talk on the internet about it being too hot or too cold, you need to specify what you mean because “too hot” and “too cold” mean so many different things in different parts of the world. What are the temperatures that everyone considers comfortable? I have probably had conversations with people about uncomfortable weather where we’ve been talking about wildly different numbers.

I think the temperatures I find comfortable, as in I could feel fine outside if I’m appropriately dressed for the weather, would be about -10 to +15 (Celsius, I do not understand Fahrenheit). Obviously being appropriately dressed is important, I’m not going to be comfortable outside in -10 degrees in a t-shirt. But if I have a decent coat and hat, anything up to about -10 is all right. Beyond that, I’ll feel uncomfortable but basically all right if it’s +15 to +25, or -10 to -20. And I’ll be miserable if it’s below -20 or above +25. My range of temperatures that I find acceptable are not set at those numbers because that’s what I’m used to and it lines up with the normal temperatures in my area – for about three months of the year here, it’s regularly above +30. It just means I’m miserable for about three months of the year. It’s been highs of +34 all week this week. It’s fucking horrible.

[etherealpapercut]

prompt: i was feeling pretty heartbroken on remembrance day. writing is my therapy so this... just... popped out.

~*~*~*~

you can keep your promise

~*~*~*~

fandom: post-endgame mcu

pairings: gn!reader x grieving!stranger!thor

genre: it’s angst. all angst, dammit.

warnings: cold. candles. reader is indicated to be christian, or at least suffering from religious trauma. graveyards and everything that ensues. mentions of grief and other sad scenes. the works.

word count: 2.3k

summary: y/n visits a graveyard on remembrance day and ends up meeting a grieving norse god.

a/n: i have nothing to say for myself :(

~*~*~*~

you shake in the cold as you stand with your friends. the poppy on your coat threatens to stab your heart.

the blank stones on the unnamed soldier’s graves stare back at you. the crypt in the midst of all the other tombstones seems so very calm.

you have a little candle in your hands. so do the rest of your friends. the tiny flames fights the chill of the air.

there are things that separate you and your friends, though.

for example, you have gloves.

your friends have mitts. one of your friends doesn’t have anything on their hands at all.

you all know that they’ll be okay.

your friends have family and other people to visit in this graveyard.

you don’t.

the cold is taking over your bones. you have to move.

it looks like you’re smoking. the chill of the air is turning your breath into floating ice.

november is the one month where tradition strikes the hardest for you, and you are expected to pray for the dead every day if possible.

back home, you have aunts and uncles and great-grandparents buried six feet deep under the frost-bitten soil, but today you are in the city. your companions were planning to visit this graveyard today anyway. they say they brought you along because you know all the good prayers for the souls.

you’re just good at speaking from the heart. most prayers are made up. “hail mary’s” and “our fathers” are mostly used when you don’t know what to say.

you’re talking to God when you pray. it’s a conversation. or supposed to be.

you don’t always seem to get an answer.

still, your friends walk away from you. you’re not really needed.

tradition compels you. you look for a grave to pray over.

the cold and harsh november afternoon light falls over the field of stone.

bones and rotting flesh lie far beneath you. you try not to think about it.

you walk past the crypt. a family name is engraved over the door. sheer concrete walls seem desolate and empty from this side.

you silently beg that you don’t end up walking over someone’s grave. you pray and you pray so very hard so that you won’t walk over a grave.

you reach a tombstone in the middle of a row and set down your candle in the snow.

you have to brush a layer of frost off the front to read it.

sometimes prayers have to be made personal. it’s good to know who you’re praying for.

his name is george. he died in 2008 at the age of 32. 

you make something up:

don’t let him suffer in death, you say to the heavens.

you can’t come up with anything else. it’s harder than it looks.

you dutifully recite an “our father.”

that’ll do it. you can’t stand still in the cold much longer. the blood in your fingers slows down and cools. you have to move again.

you pick up your candle and continue to walk through the cemetery.

it’s a large graveyard. so many people. so many tombstones. you see another crypt in the distance. 

and suddenly you see a tombstone all by itself.

it’s in the middle of a memorial section. that means there isn’t a body buried underneath it.

it’s in its own row, unlike many other stones throughout the graveyard. 

either a reserved section, or a recent grave in a new row.

you’re drawn to it. something seems a bit off.

sometimes you get those kinds of feelings.

it’s tall, shaped like a dome that ends in a point. upon coming closer and under further inspection, you can see that it’s carved to look like the stern of a boat.

there’s a rope that fences it off. it looked shorter in the distance. it’s much taller than yourself.

this tombstone amazes you. you don’t have the words to describe how foreign it feels. out of place. out of time.

it belongs somewhere else. sometime else. definitely not in a mass manhattan graveyard.

the light is shining on this stone in particular. the sun has melted the snow away. no ice remains. it isn’t cold enough for that yet.

you sneak under the rope and put your candle down in front of the tombstone and something inside tells you to sit a while and stay.

someone needs you, the voice says inside your head.

you try to start a prayer for the soul.

you’re in a daze. you forgot to read the tombstone. you don’t know who this is.

you hear someone behind you.

you’re not scared right away. you’re not sitting in front of the grave, in case you made a mistake and there is someone buried underneath you.

the candle is supposed to indicate that you are praying. people will know.

the most they’ll assume is that you were close in some way to the person that this header belongs to. they’ll assume you have a right to be there.

you don’t.

you’re scared when the person who you heard behind you also steps over the rope and sits down next to you.

he is quiet. you turn to have a look.

he towers above you, even though he is hunched over.

long, dirty blond hair hangs in disarray. some strands are braided. one braid has black hair tied in it. you can’t see his face clearly. his clothes are rumpled and well-loved. a denim jacket lined with fur and farm jeans. he holds his hands clasped. fingers woven into each other. a pendant swings from a homemade cord round his neck. you can’t tell if it, too, is made of stone, or iron

he barely moves. the weight of the world is with him. he’s seen a lot.

this is a man who has been grieving.

you can’t see his eyes but you can tell he’s looking at the gravestone in a way that tells you he knows who the grave site belongs to.

you look for dates on the tombstone.

~964 A.D.–2018 A.D.

you were never good at math, but you figured the lifespan was well over 1000 years. you blinked. 

the rest is suddenly incomprehensible. the sunlight hits it just so that there are no shadows in any crevice and the rest of the engraved words cannot be seen.

you reach your hand out to the man sitting next to you. he notices your movement and looks down. 

he takes it in his opposite hand, shaking in a friendly manner.

you expected his hand to be as dry and warm as it was.

you didn’t really expect his voice to be so deep and hoarse.

“thor odinson, at your service.” he says. he’s having trouble getting his words out. he’s holding back so much emotion. 

“y/n l/n,” you reply.

you had meant to hold his hand in a comforting act. you phrased this to thor. he seemed a bit taken aback, but took your hand anyway, swallowing it up in his and the two of you sit in silence.

you can see the tears slowly dripping from his chin. he looks at the stone with a steady gaze.

you shiver. you are in the shade of a tree planted by the end of the grave. the shadows in november are always the most unwelcoming. even december shadows have no such bite as these ones.

“tell me about this memorial header, thor,” you whisper. “tell me all about the person to whom it belongs.”

you still have the intention of intercession.

tradition still drives you forward.

thor turns to have a good look at your face. the tears suddenly fall faster.

“for some reason,” he says to you, “when i saw you sitting here, i thought that i knew you. i thought that you knew who this memorial belonged to. and yet you are but a stranger to me.”

you nod. to many people you seem familiar. you seem to have one of those looks.

he thanks you for your kindness in staying with the grave. his voice is ever the more husky.

you are under no real obligation to stay with this man. 

still, something keeps you here. 

thor smiles at the stone.

“my brother is remembered here.”

he nods to himself.

you cannot help but to think, your brother is always remembered, everywhere, in everything you do. you have that sense of grieving.

it’s been quite a couple of years since thor’s brother has died. you read it in the stone.

you can feel how fresh the wound is to thor. it radiates from him.

“his name was loki.” thor says. “you–are you sure you didn’t know him? he did keep many secrets. you may have been one of them. and the rope is an enchanted barricade, no one who is not familiar with the remembered can enter or come close.”

you simply shake your head, then nod. enchantments didn’t work. not on you. they weren’t real. you belonged to a religion that prevented their use and effects.

you really didn’t know loki. however, his name tickles something in the back of your mind. you can’t seem to recall why.

thor smiled through his sigh, allowing it a little bit of a merry sound. it still wasn’t quite right. “he was a nuisance, my brother. he messed things up. big time. all the time.

“he wasn’t the best being to ever walk the nine realms,” thor continued. “he had that sort of aura that he wasn’t even meant to belong here, at times.”

you knew what thor was talking about.

some people were mistakes. and while some mistakes were embraced, some were continually rejected. they didn’t belong to this existence, even though they existed.

“he was a mischief maker. my mother didn’t really help, teaching him magic. he was the god of lies.”

the man beside you chuckled. he was suddenly lost, delving into memories.

“loki stabbed people, too. he stabbed me. he was ambitious, that one. sometimes to a fault. he even tried to take over new york city some years ago.” 

you blinked. you now remembered why the name seemed familiar.

“loki wasn't always–loki wasn’t good.” thor said. he looked down.

the final blades of grass were dying at your feet.

“but i still loved my brother.”

thor choked softly on his words.

the light dies fast in november. when you looked up, you could suddenly see the rest of the words carved into the stone on loki’s tombstone.

not that it mattered. you couldn’t read the words anyway. the stone didn’t have any of the normal sayings carved in it.

it was covered in runes.

you were at a loss for words.

how were you supposed to pray in this scenario?

the two of you bow your heads.

your candles sputters, drowning in wax.

thor breathes in. behold your hands a little bit tighter. 

“i’m sorry, loki,” he says.

he’s lost in reverie. you won’t be able to reach him if you spoke right now.

"i made a promise," he says. "i can’t keep it, though. forgive me, my brother."

you wonder what the promise is. you wonder if it’s your place to ask.

the voice inside tells you to ask.

after a pause, you do. you ask thor what promise he made to loki.

thor can’t respond for a long time. you let him take all the time he needs.

your friends, wherever they are, can wait.

this is whom you gut told you to wait for. you can wait for him a little bit longer.

thor finally speaks again.

“as loki was dying in my arms, i promised him that the sun would shine upon us again. i can’t keep that promise, y/n.”

you can feel the sadness from thor creep like the frost and start to invade your own body.

a promise like thor’s made to the living-now-dead is a promise that can rarely be fulfilled.

you stand, thor’s grief threatening to take him over. his hand is limp. you hang on tight. 

it’s not easy to tell which way is up when you’re drowning.

thor stands with you. he’s not as tall as he seemed before.

you pull him right to the stone. you pull him out of the shade cast by the tree.

the sunlight is still harsh and cold. it’s still unforgiving. but it’s still the sun.

“you can keep your promise, odinson.” you speak directly to him.

you demand his attention, and stick it right to the carved likeness of a slender, dark haired and elegant man on the stone.

thor seems to contrast the image greatly. the two are polar opposites. you still have no doubt that they are brothers. there is something in the carving that tells the viewer they share a mother.

there is a certain look that brothers have sometimes. it makes them seem like they were meant to be with each other. thor and loki were destined to be brothers, even if loki was never supposed to exist

“make sure that loki can be illuminated by the light.” you say. “make sure that you are, too.”

thor moves to make sure that the image is still in the sun.

he has let go of your hand. you let it drop.

the sun is shining on them once again.

you can’t seem to cry, but thor can.

he forgets you and leans on the stone, hand pressed up close to loki’s carved image. he gasps once, and the floodgates of the heaving waterfall open.

something has closed, though.

a little bit of thor’s wound that tore wide open when loki died in his arms has had its closure.

you step over the rope. you’re expected by your companions now. you’re ready to leave the graveyard.

you don’t bother to retrieve the candle.

it's gone out.

[broomsticks]

say something about the process of your writing, please! anything you like

*stares in horror at the microphone and slowly backs away*

hahaha i’ve been intentionally not playing all the writing ask games because i’m in a bit of a weird place re. my writing 🙈

long story short i was very called out by this excellent essay:

Despite the fact that I was mostly a femslash writer in my early times in fandom and the fact that I write f/f in my current fandoms today, it remains a curious truth that my growth as a writer from someone who wrote 1,000-word oneshots in one go to someone who wrote novel-length fanfic over several months coincided with going into a different fandom where my main focus was a m/m ship... I said I “shipped everyone” earlier – it would be just as correct to say I shipped no one, because I had no deep emotional investment in the ships I wrote about, and often wrote only one fic per ship… when I look at my story stats now, it’s clear that my f/f stories are shorter in word count and are less varied in their plot and execution than my m/m stories.

the best lesson i learned from writing fic in 2022 was to care less. to not care so much about what anyone thinks—including and most of all myself—and to just write.

but sometimes i wonder if i may have learned that lesson too well, because now/ at times/ increasingly (after the what, 20+ fics i put out in december? stupid number) i feel like — i don’t want to say i care too little, but.

i’ve gotten to a point where i can write a drabble/ficlet on just about anything: any character/pairing, any of the main genres (angst/ fluff/ smut, with apologies to crack), and that’s amazing—2021 me would never have imagined—but it’s also a little… sometimes i would like to care a little bit more about the things that i’m writing and posting!

i would like to write more things that i care about — except i don’t know what i Care About. especially because what i want to write and what i want to read have always been two completely separate things (i can’t read my own fics for pleasure. it’s literal torture 😂).

so yes anyway. that was a grotesquely rambling non-answer, but that’s the biggest thing on my mind re. the process of my writing right now! working on something short for remus lupin fest (the way i treat a fest’s min WC as a personal max WC 🙈), have some half-baked ideas for trans fest and maybe also frankenfest/femslash feb, toying with the idea of branching into a different fandom, but most of all i’d like to try to find something i could get invested in enough to maybe write for WLW BB. my someday-fandom goal! one-night-stands are cool and super fun but i want to figure out how to do deep emotional investment in a healthy manner. 😂