#anyway yeah ship name... idk it could just be their limit break name

[mirror-to-the-past]

Okay, now I've finished-finished KH2, and like... I don't have *terribly* much to add (post-mortem edit: lie), since I was pretty much on the brink of the final battle when I last posted about the game, but DAMN. That was actually really sweet/heartwarming.

First off, holy SHIT that final battle was movie-like as all hell. The choreographed action and reaction commands... woah. I was such a dumbass during multiple Xemnas phases, though, it was a wonder I beat him first try. Buckle up for my dumbass endeavors, it's a trip.

That part where you're flying to his little throne thing and he's tossing buildings at you was fun, because I kept launching myself against his fucking barrier and getting repelled/damaged and Xemnas was all "why do you despise the void," over and over again. I was so confused, but just... kept trying like a bullheaded idiot until my health was nose-diving and Riku started healing Sora. Cue me screaming into the void like "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" Started playing Marco-Polo when Riku would say "Sora!" every time his health dropped, and eventually found him on a building at the bottom of the map I was supposed to fling at Xemnas apparently? 😂

Two other cringe-fails on my end... when Xemnas was tasering Sora and you briefly shift into Riku to complete mission 'Save His Guy,' I was beating the decoy Xemnas to death like "DON'T WORRY SORA, I'VE GOT YOU," only to realize right before Sora bit the dust that you were supposed to walk up to the other Xemnas actively doing the electrocution and just... y'know... tap the reaction command. I'm sensing a common theme here...

And to top it off, on that scene that would Otherwise Be Really Cool where Sora and Riku are meant to deflect the lasers from Xemnas, I must've missed my chance for the reaction command, and it was really fucking hilarious to watch actually, because you have the action movie sweeping spiral shot, where Riku's Understood The Instructions, leaping around and deflecting everything like a ninja, whereas Sora was utterly stunlocked, and just sort of... standing there... getting hit over and over again... it looked so pathetic, haha.

Anyway, actual plot aside from me being bad at the game, and by plot I mean Sora and Riku just being the heart and soul of the cracked out finale, apparently:

(Although shout-out to Roxas for making me feel all weepy just by saying "Look sharp," I'm eternally sad. Someone free him.)

I just... I don't even know where to start, guys. Riku being angsty, "How am I gonna face everyone?" only for Sora to go "Like this!" And make the goofiest little face to cheer Riku up, and it WORKED. That was just... I cooed, y'all.

These faces (I tracked down the GIF because I was just appalled the animators in a 2006 game had them make goo-goo eyes at each other, Sora looking away like that is what gets me):

Xemnas trying to pit them against each other in his boss fight, but you know it just wouldn't matter, because of *course* Sora trusts Riku, he can't imagine thinking otherwise, and of *course* Riku was jealous of Sora in some aspects (which was addressed later, wooo), but it didn't matter, because he just wanted to be able to be with Sora over any misgivings he might've had about his self image.

(Side Note: What in the Sam-Hill did Xemnas mean when he said there were falsehoods in their hearts? Excuse me? Will that be expanded upon? What are they denying??)

And like... they literally ended up trapped in KH Hell-equivalent, and they were just... fine?? with it?? Just completely zen on the beach (I can't help but find it interesting that the realm of darkness is a beach like Destiny Islands, and wonder if there's some light/dark parallels about the trio involving that), staring out at the water side by side, fully knowing they could just wither away there, but it was cool, because they were together. "I've got something you could never imitate too," (Which was being Riku's friend, godDAMN Sora you're gonna make me cry 😭) says Sora, just chilled out as all hell.

For further laughs, in the post credits scene where and Riku and Sora were sitting on the Paopu tree, and Sora was like 'where'd the door to light come from?' and I was all excited like a kid paying attention in class or something "Kairi Princess of Heart ex-machina, she and her letter must have been tied to-" and then Riku poked at Sora's heart and was like "From here 😌 It's closer than you think," and then I'm over here, being a vaguely disappointed nerd, like "Oh, no lore. Just... Riku saying Sora is filled with light. They're just... still having a moment. That's fine." (And they were just looking and smiling at each other while the camera was focused on their faces, which is completely interrupted by Kairi running up, pfft- bless her for the tonal whiplash)

Edit: I also loved that credits clip of Sora walking through the secret hideout cave and running his hands along the drawings, you could see his eyes combing over the memories, it was so touching. I loved when he found the drawing him and Kairi made, because I thought of that KH1 cutscene of them as small children carving it out, and you could *see* it in his eyes that Sora had a "Look where I am now," kind of moment. I will never stop screaming about the facial animations for these games.

Anyway that ended up being longer than I expected. The boys are back together and they're mushy. Kairi still has abandonment issues and they'll probably just get worse from here. Someone, somewhere curls up into a fetal position every time a KH villain gives another darkness/light monologue with the dumbest sounding lines known to man. Maleficent's entire subplot this game was just her house-hunting. Michael Mouse acts like a war veteran, and it would be hilarious if post-Ansem the Wise (I missed hearing your voice, Christopher Lee RIP) explosion he starts having survivor's guilt too. Roxas makes me want to cry, and Naminé does too. The mystery of Kairi's Keyblade has not been answered. Nobody has told Sora about Castle Oblivion even though Naminé was Right There. Next time... on Kingdom Hearts...

I wish I could caption this in the KH subtitle font but I'm too lazy to figure out how zip files work at this hour so here's comic sans

[lilacsandwhiskey]

I’m currently obsessed with tiktok and tom holland so I’m obsessed with imagines about both. i think it would be cute if you do a tiktok trend with the boys but like the world doesn’t know about reader and Tom so people are shipping her with one of the guys? like from the tiktok? Tom maybe gets jealous or something ? idk i’m rambling haha

Thanks for the request anon :) I hope this was okay!

Heartbreak Anniversary

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: mentions of pandemic and COVID, cussing, maybe suggestive at points???, angst, jealous Tom, uhhh sucky writing and no proofreading so bare w ya girl n kinda longer than I anticipated but here we are :)

Notes: italics = flashback

If someone asked you how you managed to get a life as crazy as your’s, you’d simply reply “just meet Harrison and become best friends.” You almost couldn’t fathom what your life looked like right now - you sat in the kitchen with your two friends, Harry and Tuwaine, who had fallen into the pits of TikTok with you, while Harrison, Sam, and your beloved, Tom, sat in the living room, screeching at the television as they watched a game. All of this, while in the middle of a worldwide pandemic.

You didn’t officially live with the boys, but you might as well have. Your apartment was only minutes away, but with how communal your living situation was, Tom simply talked it over with his brothers and best friends, who didn’t even hesitate to scream yes when he asked if you could stay there. It was “safest,” he explained when he begged you to come stay for a while. So you did.

How did we get here? It all started with a little project, Harrison Osterfield, and him playing cupid.

——————————

“Clumsy, are we?” Harrison managed to balance you as you tripped over your own two feet, walking into the studio. “What makes you think that?” You huffed back, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Just get that vibe.” He replied, shrugging with a smile.

It didn’t take long for you and Harrison to practically become the best of friends. He soon was inviting you out to drinks with his friends, who immediately accepted you. Though you and Harrison’s friendship was strictly platonic, you found him itching to find out about your relationship status. “Should I even wonder, Harri?” “I mean, no. I’m just curious.” “I thought I told you before I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” You said, glaring at him with a smile. “I didn’t ask that, I was just curious. So anyway, are you coming to the pub tonight? I’m dying for you to meet my friend, Tom.” The excitement in his voice was too much to understand, but instead of questioning, you just replied with a yes.

There you were, walking through the doors of the pub at 8pm sharp. Your eyes finally spotted familiar faces who were calling out to you. You followed suit, inching your way to the booth at the back. “Y/N!” They called, urging into hugs. “Hi everyone!” You replied, taking a seat. Tuwaine was already scooting over your favorite drink towards you. “Told you we’d always take care of you! Anyway, we’re celebrating tonight. Tom’s back home!”

Your eyes landed on the curly-haired boy who had a gentle smile playing on his lips. “No need for anything big, I’m just glad to be surrounded by my favorite people.” Tom said. “Nice to meet you finally, Y/N. Glad to finally put a face to the name.” Tom held a hand out, gripping tight to yours as he shook it. Little did you know, Tom was well-aware of what your face looked like. He hadn’t been able to stop scrolling through your social media pages after Harrison had posted a picture of you, him, and Tuwaine on his story during a night out.

———————————

“So who’s this girl you’ve been posting?” Tom said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible during this conversation with his bestfriend. “Y/N, I thought I’d mentioned her to you.” Harrison said through the phone. “I don’t believe you have, are you like…” “No, no, dude, you know I’ve been talking to Grace.” “I know, but I was just worried my best friend had moved on without telling me!” “You know I would. No, she’s just a friend, we met during a project. Grace actually loves her, and so does everyone else - including your brothers. Have they not told you about her?”

Tom tried to think back to his conversations, only briefly hearing mentions of your names when he’d ask what they’d been doing. He couldn’t help but scroll through your pictures, soaking up every aspect of your life, well, only what you displayed. You had a dog, bingo. You seemed to be funny by the way you captioned your pictures, good. You seemed to have fun, love your family, and live a life that perfectly reflected how Harrison had described to him after he had came to the realization that Tom had already began crushing on you just by what he’d started telling him and the way you portrayed yourself.

Tom begged Harrison to be his wingman. Harrison practically scolded him the first few times. “I don’t want you to mess up this friendship.” “She’s not just a fling, Tom.” “Can’t you just be friends first?” Tom would settle for the last comment. “Fine, introduce us.”

————————————

Your conversations with Tom seemed so effortless that night. With too much alcohol in your system, you found yourself completely flustered by how pretty he was with his glazed eyes, rosy cheeks, and the constant giggles escaping his lips.

Though nothing ever happened that night, you found yourself spending more and more time with Tom in the coming weeks. Harrison didn’t mind as his relationship was truly flourishing with Grace. Weeks later, Tom had finally kissed you out of the blue and it changed everything. He was leaving for a few more weeks for filming, and instead of gaining the guts to make it official that night, he waited until he came back. It was the first thing he asked you when you reunited.

But, it wasn’t as simple as that. The logistics, the orchestrating, there was so much planning involved with what felt like should just be simple. Tom had fans, and sometimes they weren’t so nice. Tom wanted to protect you in every way possible. Though it was obvious you’d been hanging with the guys, since some of them had posted you, you had just figured that if you went out in public, you’d all go together and you couldn’t spend too much time just next to Tom. Posts were limited, it was all planned to a T. But you didn’t mind, because Tom made you happy and you knew it was for the best.

For a while, you did long distance. Your relationship had been based off of late night or early morning FaceTime calls, quick calls in between breaks, and short text messages throughout the day. It was hard but worth it. But this last time didn’t last near as long as others.

When word of COVID swept through the news, the world became frantic in all aspects. When everything began going into lockdown, Tom was sent straight back home from filming.

———————————

Laughter erupted between Harry, Tuwaine, and you. Tuwaine had showed you a both a video on TikTok he came across of a girl dancing in the midst of her friends to the song Heartbreak Anniversary. Though her coordination was obviously great, it was the reactions and how aggressive she was doing the dance that made it so funny.

As if on cue, Tom, Harrison, and Sam walked into the kitchen, Harrison mentioning that they couldn’t hear their program over their laughing. That’s when they found themselves gathered around the phone, joining in the laugher.

“I think we should recreate it. I think Y/N should learn the dance and be in the middle. It’ll be too good.” Harry said. “Me?” A nervous laugh escaping your lips. “For sure, we learn dances so fast, you’ll have it down in no time.” Harry was right - over the last few months, you’d formed certain hobbies with each of the boys. You had became just as close with them as Tom was, and one thing you and Harry found yourselves doing often was learning dances in the backyard, most likely disrupting the neighbors from your obnoxious cussing and laughter.

After protesting the dance, the guys had won and you were now practicing the dance. You felt so dumb, you couldn’t help but laugh. You didn’t allow the boys to see it so that when you videod, it would be their fresh reactions. And that’s what it was -

The boys circled around you, ready to endure the dancing. Right before, Tom had pulled you aside and reiterated not focusing that much time on him, though he wanted you to. You agreed, understanding the circumstances considering the world still was unaware of your relationship. To everyone else, you were just some friend that came to hang out every now and then.

So when the music started, you kept that little rule in the back of your mind. You tried to spend enough time with each, trying to make them laugh which definitely worked. You added your own flair to the dance, leaning back towards each of them, causing them to spit out laughter. You still found a moment with Tom, because it’d be too obvious that you were not trying to be obvious if you didn’t (haha).

Afterwards, the guys laughed over your shoulder as they watched their own reactions. “You killed that!” Sam exclaimed.

Hours later, you all sat in the living room, engrossed in your own thing - television, telephone, reading, someone was doing something. That’s when Tuwaine busted out laughing. “Shit, these comments are ruthless!” “Hmm?” You said, not even thinking to go check on the video you’d posted. When you opened up the app, Tom was looking over your shoulder to look for himself.

“Yeah, Harrison and Y/N are def fucking”

“Y/N and Haz 👀👀👀”

“Look at the way Haz looks at her 😍 obvi in love”

The comments continued. You cocked your head, watching back at the video. There was nothing much different between your interactions other than he was laughing the most - but that was just Haz. You shook your head, laughing as everyone but Tom joined it.

“Dang, Y/N, didn’t know we cared so much about each other!” Harrison said, giggling. “Right, just so in love!” You jokingly fell back into the couch, but soon noticed that Tom was barely participating in the jokes. Instead, he was leaning back, barely cracking a smile, even when you tugged his arm. You tried to shake off his reaction, not expecting him to actually be upset.

—————————

“I think I’m going to shower, wanna join?” You pulled out some sweatpants from the drawer that you’d claimed. “Why don’t you go ask Harrison?” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Excuse me?” Tom stayed silent. A nervous laugh escaped your lips, in hopes that his words were only joking but the straight face he was giving, along with no eye contact, made it clear that he was not joking.

“Are you being serious right now?” You asked quietly. You felt yourself beginning to get upset, considering you had never given him a reason to believe that for one, you’d ever cheat, and for two, that you and Harrison had ever had sex. He was well aware of the friendship that you had before Tom came along, and not only was it strictly platonic, but Grace had been in the picture the whole time.

Tom finallt replied with a shrug, which elicited rolling eyes from you. “You’re unbelievable.” You slammed the door to the bedroom, slamming the bathroom door across the hall. It may have been absurd, but in that moment you honestly were shocked. You and Tom had never really argued about something like this before - it just never showed itself as a problem. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been rumored dating each one of the boys before anyway, you didn’t know what was different.

Harrison had obviously heard the slamming of the doors, including the other boys who surrounded him. Sam pushed the television, looking around at the group, who was already exchanging looks. “Nose goes.” Tuwaine said, instantly pinning his finger to his nose, the rest of the boys following. Harrison was the last to reach his nose. “Aw, come on. You know this is probably about me.” Harrison whispered. “Guess you gotta find out.” Harry replied, shrugging.

Harrison slowly made his way to Tom’s room, slowly knocking before opening the door. Tom was laying on the bed on his phone, seeming that he was not phased by the events that seemed to have just occurred. “Tom?” “Hmm?” “What’s going on?” Harrison asked, inching closer to the bed.

Tom laid his phone on his chest with a smirk. “Why don’t you go find out?” “Seriously, Tom? Are we twelve right now?” Harrison huffed back, crossing his arms. When Tom didn’t reply, Harrison felt like tugging his hair out. It wasn’t very often that the two lads argued, but Harrison honestly couldn’t believe that THIS is what the argument was about this time.

Harrison made it clear time and time again before Tom and you had started dating that you two had been platonic from the beginning. Harrison loved you like a sister, but never anything more. Tom was well aware of that - so he didn’t understand why he was lashing out?

“Look, mate. I don’t know why you’re acting like this, but I can guarantee you, that if you keep on, Y/N isn’t going to like it. You have no right to take it out on her. You know she wouldn’t do that to you in a million years, hell, you know I’d never do that to you in a million years. If you want to be mad, be mad at me, though you have no true reason to be. Fans make assumptions all the time. You can’t possibly be upset when you’re the one who continues to vow her as a secret to the world. You orchestrate every plan with her to make sure that it looks like you’re not dating, so yeah, people might get skeptical. I’m sorry that you’re feeling insecure right now, but you have no right to accuse her of anything.” Harrison had no intentions of giving a speech, but he knew that it had to be said. Tom just looked at him, and for the first time, Harrison couldn’t get a read on him.

Harrison made his way out of the room, almost colliding with you as you came out of the bathroom. Harrison gave you a sympathetic smile before going back to the living room. Confused as to what had just happened in Tom’s room, you took a deep breath before opening the door. There was no doubt that you were still upset, but you also were bothered about the fact that this came so suddenly. Or had it? Had he been so skeptical before and you’d just never caught on? How could he not trust you?

As you walked in, Tom laid on his side away from you. You let out a small sigh, placing your dirty clothes in the hamper and walking over to the bed. “Tom?” No answer. “Can we talk?” Though you couldn’t see around him, Tom squeezed his eyes shut at those words. He finally turned over. “Hey.” You said. “Hey.”

You assumed an apology would come after that, but it never did. You tried to be reasonable. “I get it.” “Hm?” “I get it. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I can’t say there haven’t been times I’ve gotten a little jealous or scared or insecure when you’re miles and miles away. But I’m right here. You have nothing to worry about.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you.” “It’s okay, but you have to trust me. We’ve been together over a year now and this conversation has never came up. Why now?”

Tom took a minute to gather his words. He let out a slow shaky breath. “I don’t know how to put it into words. When I’m away, I long to be back home with you. It seems so simple to know that I get to home and you’re here for me. So, now that I’m home for longer than a week, I recognize that you have developed these amazing friendships with people who can be here for you more than me, and sometimes it just feels unreal that I have you - like I don’t deserve you. I just love you so much that the thought of you being with someone else ever hurts me, and I think that’s why the comments got to me so much this time. Y/N, I think I’m ready to tell the world. I’m tired of keeping you a secret. I want to show the world you’re mine, I want to be the one they make those comments about. Ridiculous, huh?” Tom let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

You grabbed his hands, shaking your head. “Babe, if it weren’t for Harrison, we wouldn’t be here. The relationships I’ve grown with everyone is over our shared love of you. We are so grateful that we can be altogether in each other’s presence and enjoy it because we all have a shared love. You’re so important to all of us, and that’s just how it works. I’m ready to tell the world if you are. I’d love nothing more than to finally call you mine publicly… and maybe go on a date outside of our backyard when this pandemic ends.” You say with a grin. He pulls you on top of him, laying a slow kiss on your lips. “You’re so important to me. Let’s show the world how much.”

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 17: 1x23 The Omega Glory

Watched the very uneven episode “The Omega Glory” today. Upon some reflection.. I think I have seen it? But I think my last rewatch ended abruptly after “By Any Other Name” so it might have been some time ago.

Anyway, it was... something. Decent, I might even say good, until the last 10-15 minutes and then it just went off a cliff? That’s how I’d summarize it.

Sulu, my beloved. I’ve missed you.

Kirk knows where all the ships are. I mean, obviously, but I love to hear it.

Phasers on heavy stun huh?

It’s so weird to be on a different ship. That looks like the same ship. It’s so empty and haunted looking.

With creepy crystal remains of bodies everywhere.

“These white crystals... are the crew.”

Something was thirsty!! Perhaps... a water vampire? Perhaps... a former McCoy girlfriend?

(Honestly having watched the whole ep...they could have expanded this intro longer. It was creepy and mysterious. Then cut the last act.)

Oh no, they’ve been infected and now must quarantine. Sort of. I guess.

...Oh no, is this Vietnam? Again?

“Our old enemy, Vietnam.”

My mother suggested the disease might be communism and I don’t think that metaphor tracks through the whole episode but you know what.. anything’s possible.

I don’t like this whole “you can’t leave the planet or you’ll get sick and die” thing. Too familiar.

"I may never be able to leave this planet but I have a worse problem: a colleague may be breaking a rule."

Says the man who has frequently violated a directive that has never been referred to as Prime before.

Kirk is getting very mumbly. That’s his serious voice.... bu it’s also his Denny Crane voice lol.

Like bio warfare in the 90s? TOS really thought the 90s was going to be the dark ages, didn’t it?

Only 90s kids remember...

Spock bursting in with a wounded man, just bringing the drama, as he does.

He’s not even listening to McCoy. Rude.

Spock absolutely 100% would have killed Captain Tracey on instinct as soon as Kirk is threatened.

Sulu’s in command? I love Captain Sulu but where is Scotty?

Kirk is so good. Clever, strong, smart. Knows all the regulations.

Tracey’s so dumb. “They’ve eradicated disease and live for hundreds of years!” Man, have you considered that they are...aliens? And their life spans are simply.... naturally longer than human life spans? And even if you could isolate the serum, it might not work on humans?

And his master plan is to isolate their immunity and bottle it for profit. It’s our old enemy... capitalism and the exploitation of intellectual property.

A fight scene!

“The pointy-eared one stays.”

Another fight scene!

Spock is watching all of this, and you know what, I feel like he’s not upset about it. It’s just like Pre-Reform Vulcan. Perhaps some... Amok Time flashbacks? “Damn, I wish that was me.”

Peanut gallery Spock.

“I wish you could teach me that.” / “I have tried.” Omg where is my scene of Spock trying to teach Kirk the nerve pinch?

And then that look Kirk gives him.

I don’t get the point of this scene but it amuses me that as soon as McCoy sees the pretty girl, he feels better.

A post-apocalyptic alien world... a very interesting concept. Like you could do a lot with that idea imo.

“That’s our worship word [freedom too.” Umm.... questionable.

Damn bitch, that was cold. Just knocking him out like that.

Damn yankee.

...Yankee and Communist dammit.

McCoy’s not even surprised to see Kirk and Spock out of jail.

Nature created a natural counterbalance to the biological disease. Where is OUR natural counterbalance, I ask?

McCoy sounds extra Southern rn. It’s all the stress.

I really don’t think Shatner gets enough credit for his subtlety. His face when McCoy explains the whole situation...

Oh he's mad now. "You've hurt Spock for nothing! Oh yeah and also killed thousands but MOSTLY THE SPOCK THING!”

Whereas Tracey really doesn’t seem to care about anything but war for its own sake. He knows now that his master plan for immortality was nothing the whole time...but he still needs to call those Yangs.

In other words, another once-reputable figure of authority now gone mad.

Kirk’s voice is so casual when he’s talking to Uhura and Sulu, you feel like he’s gotta have something up his sleeve. He can never hide when he’s really upset about something.

...Apparently what he had up his sleeve was his crew knowing regulations and then another full body tackle. Fight scene 3!

"My need for attention is vital.” Same, Spock.

This is a very attenuated and unbelievable connection Kirk is making but he’s Kirk so I’ll assume it makes sense that he’s putting it all together so fast.

Alternate Universe: Vietnam canon-divergence lol.

For anyone keeping track, this is right about the point where the episode goes off the rails.

YOU’RE A ROMANTIC, JIM. Well he’s right about that at least and he should say it.

Oh no, an American flag.

Cloud William, chief and the son of chiefs. That’s continuity of government for you.

(Also pretty hilarious that this society is supposedly So American with our exact flag and Constitution and everything... but they’re not a democracy.)

I really don’t want to believe that “under God” is still in the pledge 200 years from now.

"You're confusing the stars with heaven." Kirk thinks he's being called an angel.

The absolute mishmash of meaningless, referent-free words here. America. Native Americans. Communists. The flag, the Constitution. God. Angels. Devils. What???

Like how can they both be flag worshippers AND...believers in God? Who is their God? Alien George Washington?

So rude to call Spock Kirk’s “servant.” That’s his space husband!

Is that a literal picture of Spock as a demon in their.. Bible?

I can’t even follow this anymore.

“You command him.” I mean...yes, that’s how the military works.

“He has no heart.” Wow, rude.

“His heart is different!” I stan one (1) Southern Doctor.

I feel like Spock is just... not having this at all. His face loos like he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

Oh no is that the CONSTITUTION??!

“Kill his servant” wow Tracey is obsessed with Spock, isn’t he? I guess everyone in the Fleet knows about them and their special relationship.

Spock is even amused by the knife at his throat. His eyes say "I am distressed--but fascinated!"

A FOURTH fight scene? And here I thought Kirk was going to recite the Constitution.

“I’m open to suggestions.” He’s just as worried about Kirk as McCoy is, bu the doesn’t show it.

...Yep, he’s being telepathic again. Not really in line with his usual telepathy but okay. Alien magic is flexible.

Okay I have a JD and I can confidently say there is nothing about good defeating evil in the Constitution.

And now this alien guy is immediately ready to make himself a “slave.” That seems problematic. What happened to the holy word “Freedom”?

Wow, Kirk's in a bad mood. "You can't pronounce your own holy words worth shit."

“This is only for the eyes of a Chief,” he says and Kirk just pushes him away.

Spock literally turns Tracey around for Kirk’s big final speech like “Listen up, bitch, my boyfriend’s talking.”

Is this the 4th of July episode?? Feels like there should be canons and fireworks going off behind him rn.

Idk, the words of the Constitution can't be so unique and unprecedented if a WHOLE OTHER ALIEN CIVILIZATION just came up with them, too, on their own, like monkeys typing Hamlet. (Given the timelines here... they probably did it first too lol.)

"Liberty and freedom need to be more than just words." Like what does that even mean in this context? Sounds nice but it’s very hard to put into the context of all the rest of this.

“And uh be nice to the Kohms,” after most of them (?) were probably just killed.

I really was into this until the last 10-15 minutes and I think there were under-explored concepts that could have taken the fever dream of whatever that bizarre-o fever dream at the end was. The abandoned ship. The leftovers of bio warfare. The whole weird and under-explained concept of immunity. The tragedy that so much was destroyed,, including but not limited to the whole Exeter crew, for no reason. What happened to Tracey to so destroy him--was it just greed? What about the “Prime” Directive? Is it important or not. They just leave at the end after (as Spock pointed out) doing quite a bit of their own meddling, even though meddling is allegedly the worst. Also, we know almost nothing about the Kohms at all. The “American” society clearly wasn’t democratic. Were the Kohms literally Communist?

I’m willing to accept a certain degree of alternate Earth scenarios--like Miri (though imo that was not a necessary component of that story) or Bread and Circuses, but this was too much. TOO unbelievable. And frankly unnecessary. You could do an allegory for alternate-Vietnam, and it would be just as clear but even more effective. There wouldn’t be any distraction in the form of “what the fuck is that flag doing here?”

There is a potentially incendiary concept here, which is the same one I thought of reading about actual COG plans--certain aspects of the Yanks’ culture survives, but with absolutely no meaning attached. They have a Constitution but they mispronounce all the words. They have this tattered flag but it has no other meaning. They’ve turned the symbols of the government into a religion, but they don’t practice any of the civil aspects of it--they have chiefs, not democratically appointed leaders, for example. Like, COG asks “what IS the country, and how do you make sure the country endures no matter what?” This was an opportunity to show the worst of that: the country continues to exist as symbology only--incredibly strong symbology, but only that--and all of the actual values that were supposed to be stored with that symbology have disappeared. Similarly, their hatred of their enemies endures. It’s lauded in the ep as their attempt to get “their land” back but what if it’s just war for its own sake, as Tracey seems to be engaging in? To tell that story, especially in the 60s, against the backdrop of Vietnam, and with the references to bio warfare and nuclear warfare, could be powerful. And I know TOS can work in metaphor and comparison. It doesn’t need to bring out a literal fucking flag.

Honestly, it was like they had one good, classic, sci fi story but it didn't fill 52 minutes so they tacked on the American Pride 4th of July Propaganda Extravaganza at the end.

It really felt like the lesson was “America good” lol.

I liked the concept of the post apocalyptic society in the aftermath of bio warfare as a cautionary tale for 1960s America, and I'd be up for crazed snake oil salesman Starfleet Captain (or...whatever his rank was) if it were a bit better explained. But the rest of it....

It also... could have been kinda incendiary with the idea that the Constitution and flag are religious symbols... I mean some people do treat them that way and I've always found that, first, blasphemous, and second, bizarre in such a hyper-Christian country. But I feel like instead of digging ito that, they just tempered it with "But also they're Christian, as you can tell by their drawing of devil!Spock, for some reason."

Idk, this story could have been complete with out the whole weird “Vietnam AU” back story or alternately it could have been a biting commentary about what defines America, and about whether or not our symbols might be more enduring--or even more important to people today??--than the laudable but more complex and difficult ideals that underpin the country’s founding. Are the words of the Constitution just gobbledy gook? They are if you don’t live by them, and America has always struggled to do that. It definitely would struggle even more in the aftermath of an apocalypse.

...I’m more annoyed now, thinking about the possible sci fi story that could have been...

Anyway next is an ep I’m fairly sure I haven’t  seen, so that should be fun.

[vitosscaletta]

personality + relationships for julia & background + relationships for lucia 😌

rips you off and makes banners <3

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment?

chaotic good/neutral. more neutral/lawful later on

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into?

Not looking at it in-depth but entj 😳

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)?

Writing obviously... Mostly her little newspaper articles though, she’s not creative enough to write fiction :/ Other than that she likes to read, mostly the standard literature of the time (she’s a big fan of Ernest Hemingway.. 😳) or some of her mom’s old stuff and a few other columnists she looks up to :) Also medical books her dad has in their living room. She reads those too. She also picked up sewing at some point in the late 20′s/early30′s but she’s kinda. whatever about it. Mostly did it when she couldn’t afford new clothes and tried to change the silhouette of her old stuff

What are they bad at?

Driving 😔 she’s not... bad... she’ll just yell at anyone for no reason and break speed limit all the time 

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses?

No lol but she smokes... sometimes 😒

What are their goals and motivations?

God she’s ambitious as hell and it has mostly to do with her job... she wants to be a famous journalist or something but most of all to be taken seriously? Insert that saying about having to work twice as hard as a man to get half as much respect. Besides that, she also believes whatever she puts out into the world could somehow change things for the better :) It’s a little naive so she’d never tell people but. 

What are their manners like? Any habits?

Her manners are.. good? But she’s chatty and won’t shut up and says whatever is on her mind so

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend?

She’s friends with almost everyone at Salieri’s (except Frank ig just because I couldn’t see them interacting much.. and Vinny..) and mostly just hangs out with them, she doesn’t really interact with other people anymore. Friend group that consists almost exclusively of italians <3 Her best friends are Olive and Sarah, maybe also Carlo since he always hangs around the bar too while the others are doing idk mafia things and plays cards with them :/ She’s friends with the other guys too though. Including Ralphie to some degree, she feels sorry that everyone makes fun of him... then laughs at whatever mean shit the others say about him and feels bad about it 😔

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids?

Oh you know 🙄 has a stupid little crush on Sam because she likes evil men i guess... idk what to say because there’s. A lot. They hold hands on her dads couch, get together like a year later because hes a freak etc. You know how it ends in canon but in the sexy superior au they get married in 1939/1940 something but nothing changes bc she was living in his crappy little italy apartment anyway :) also no kids god.. 

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?

Hmmm mostly her parents. Yes her dad is a crooked doctor but she wants to be like that too... He ends up in prison in the canon timeline though :c  Also her late mother... she was an author (not a well-known one lmao) who died in the late 1910s :/  She trusts uhhh.. her dad and her friends I suppose.. her close friends. 

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies?

She dislikes/hates a lot of random people because she’s petty but has no real enemies? Maybe Morello & his gang but just because everyone else does.. She has the exact same opinion on him as Salieri so whenever he talks shit she’s like “haha YEAH! >:(”... then he goes crazy in the end :/

Do they have any pets?

Yes, a cat :) his name is Louie

Are they good with kids? Animals?

With kids... yeah, to some degree? She’s the cool aunt who teaches kids swear words like “oh nuts” and tells them (child-friendly versions of) stories about her mafia friends but she’s not really someone who could take care of a child all day 🙄 Animals... yeah? She’s good with cats but probably nothing else

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like?

She was born in Parlermo in the 1920s but her family moved to america when she was very young so she has no memory of her old home :/ They weren’t very well off in sicily and that didn’t change when they moved, her parents worked shitty jobs with low pay so they didn’t have much & lived in some ugly little apartment in little italy with their three kids... Lucia had to take care of her brothers most of the time because her parents both worked.. and was usually the one who had to beat the other kids’ asses when they got into trouble with any of them 😒 She spent most of the free time she had studying and doing things for school so she could get a proper job and wouldn’t end up like her parents or whatever

What’s their family like?

Her parents like I said are both from Sicily.. her dad is a mechanic and mostly worked in some little garage. The earning wasn’t that bad for the time but he made a few debts to the bank (and other people trying to pay those off) in the 1930s so you know :/ Her mom worked part-time in some random store lol.. they loved her obviously but they were very strict and had a billion expectations while also not really being around enough. They do support her trying to do well in school, mayyyyybe also going to college and all that but still expect her to get married instead of pursuing a career in the end so she can become a proper housewife 😒  She also has two younger brothers, Antonio and Frank.. they’re closer and like i said... Lucia is the cooler older sister who beats up the other kids who mess with them. They don’t have much lore but.. they exist..

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold?

None... idk.... empire bay library where she works in the late 40′s/early 50s :) she initially just works there as a librarian but becomes an archivist in 1950 something.

How do they fit into their “story”?

Just like Mia, she’s Vito & Joe’s friend from childhood.. dumb teenage antics that end after high school and they grow apart while Vito is in the army and Joe does... crime things. She’s just doing her own thing until the like 2 months where Vito isnt in prison.. where she has to drive his ass home after he & Joe robbed that one jewelry store :^) also they all meet up again in 1951, life is good for 3 months

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like?

Some crappy little apartment complex in Westside except her apartment looks nice 😌 it’s nothing fancy but it’s cozy and nice, lots of books lying around (there’s a system to it according to her), some old furniture mixed with new mid-century style ones. She has a little sunburst clock hanging there.

How do they eventually die?

Uhhh probably just of old age... in a swamp..

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend?

Her childhood friend group that I mentioned, consisting of Vito, Joe and Mia :) They all lived in the same crappy neighborhood and went to school together.. Apparently Joe was the neighborhood bully whch is funny as hell to me but also. Lucia got into his “gang” when he picked on her little brother and she threatened to beat his ass.. meanwhile Vito actually had to do that to get into their group lmao. They met Mia like two years later in church and all became friends when Lucia helped her out in school 😳 She’d definitely consider Mia her best friend, they still hung out after their little friend group fell apart :(

She’s also friends with Giuliana and by association Henry (not really she just hears about him from like everyone)

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it?

godd obviously she wasn’t the one who started shit but she gladly went along with whatever stupid bullshit the others were doing. She’s supposed to be the responsible smart one or something but she’s not... she’s the one who causes more trouble to help the others somehow 😌 Shoplifting antics

She started being responsible after graduating high school when her parents told her to do something with her life so she’s like... “time to stop hanging out with criminals and focus on college...”. she really misses it though :(

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids?

Ahem.... she and Vito.... Childhood friends to lovers 😌 they were just friends in high school & she thought she’d never see him again after he got arrested but she does in 1945. Then he gets arrested again :)) Uhh she probably briefly dated a few people during that time but nothing ever came out of it. They get together in 1951 though but i cant talk about my mafia ships here or I’ll combust. They also probably have kids idk yet.. they look like kids people

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?

She trusts..... her friends. and her brothers. Doesn’t really look up to her parents though because that’s exactly what she doesn’t want to be :(

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies?

She doesn’t have any enemies she just hates some random people by association (the irish gang, some random mafia men she doesnt know)

Do they have any pets?

Two cats. Ocs by me owning cats cinematic universe

Are they good with kids? Animals?

Yes, she’s good with both :)

[excorcismic]

uhm . . . cheesed to meet you ?? - HI GANG !! what’s up , i’m hylia and i . . . love . misa and death note with my entire heart . I KNOW FOR A FACT i will probably pick up more characters along the way but i couldn’t have picked a better one to start out with !! i have experience writing both misa & light - i actually am more experienced writing light than misa , but i still have a lot of experience with her under my belt !! i’m currently writing him in another group and when i saw duality i just HAD to write her here - i’m so excited to plot w/ y’all !! so lemme tell you the basic facts & some connections and ideas i have under the cut c: ( this got long i’m so sorry )

ooooooooooooo you wanna plot with misa so bad oooooooo - AHEM . so . 

IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH DEATH NOTE / MISA : death note is a manga / anime revolving around a smart young man ( light yagami ) who discovers a supernatural notebook who can take the life of any human as long as the writer knows their name & face . light uses this book to essentially try and purge the world of evil , earning the alias ‘kira’ ( who gains a following ) , and misa , who acquires a death note of her own , seeks him out as the second kira . she possesses things that he doesn’t , so essentially she becomes his partner in crime - she , falling in love with him ( or more so the idea of him she created for herself ) , and he , entertaining her fantasies in exchange for her abilities and assistance . it’s . . . way more complicated in detail and honestly pretty sad but that’s the getgo . she’s a pretty girl with a very powerful notebook and she likes a guy with a powerful notebook that sees her more as a tool he can use to further his plans . OH OH OH and also she has a protective monster lady who’s in love with her and looking after her and threatening to clap light if he hurts misa in any way . 

death note . . . is a story about how people who were good can become awful towards other people and themselves if you give them a bit of power . 

BUT ANYWAY . misa actually has a much happier life here than in death note !! it’s . . . still kinda eh in some places but overall much better since that godforsaken notebook doesn’t exist and isn't here to screw anyone's lives up .

she's a former child actor, now a musician in a pop punk band called 'your friends & the skeletons!!' but as of rn with her taking a break from big performances and touring she's just a streamer operatin' out of alucard and trying to entertain herself since sometimes the world gets a little too big for her and she needs to take a step back.

it’s a pretty cute life & that’s the rundown !! of course , it’ll be more detailed and developed in my intro for her , but that being said - CONNECTIONS .

OHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT OUT THESE WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS WITH ME SO BAD OOOOOOHHH AND OHHHH YOU WANNA LIKE THIS POST FOR ME TO DM YOU FOR PLOTTING SO BAD OHHHHHHHHH

okay so obviously some band mates !! YF&TS i imagine is a four-piece with misa on rhythm guitar & vocals , then lead guitar , bass , and drums . i imagine they’re all friends with misa , but maybe one person has been friends with misa since like . . . forever . and has seen her go through literally everything .

so , misa lives alone . maybe i’ll have her look for a roommate along the way but as for right now , even though she lives by herself ( and honestly is a lil lonely ) , i really like the idea that maybe she’s the helper neighbor that wants to befriend everyone that lives on her floor , runs to get groceries , always visits and checks in on people , etc . !! so neighbor friends pretty please !!

obviously if u wanna make ppl be fans of misa & her band that is a-okay with me just pls keep in mind they’re kinda big but not . . . big big . like they’ve got some dedicated fans but not full on stans y’know

SO  . . . folds hands . i kinda like the idea that misa hasn’t been through that many serious relationships ( always gets her heart broken through them ) but maybe there was that one serious ex-partner she had and they broke it off for whatever reason . it’d have to be when she was 18-20 and they’d be together for maybe about two or three years before her career takes off and stuff and yeah it’d be the saaaad relationship that fizzled out even tho it was serious for a bit

also some not so serious/long relationships where misa got her heart broken !! fun times !! misa throws her full heart into things way too easily so this could’ve happened in many different ways . flings ?? check . short-term relationships ?? check . she wrote a letter for someone on a starbucks napkin asking them out and they rejected so whenever she comes into said starbucks she feels shy & awkward ordering something ?? check . ( we can have fun with this basically it’s ‘ misa tried it with y/m and it didn’t work out and she’s still lonely ’ )

friends please !! friends that misa’s made in alucard !! also friends with benefits maybe !! idk !! misa is a very friendly person she will be your friend if you say ‘hi’ in a positive tone towards her !!

oh i think it’d b rly funny if there was one person misa kept trying to befriend and they’re just rly stubborn abt it for some reason bc idk maybe they find misa annoying or something anyway give me sb who misa wants to be friendly with n they’re just No abt it for whatever reason

ONE OF THE THINGS I HAVE FOR MISA AS A STREAMER IS THAT SHE’S RLY INTO THE PARANORMAL AND RECORDS STUFF WITH IT SO PARANORMAL GHOST ADVENTURES PALS PLEASE !!

she’s also a gaming streamer so imagine she gets into a fight with sb behind a screen on a game and/or stream and then finds them in alucard like ‘oh fuck’ aka cyber enemies

also the exact opposite scenario with cyber friends aka misa makes a friend on a game and they meet each other irl and it’s cute !!

misa . . . is not a huge party girl but i imagine she has ppl that regularly invite her to parties and stuff so there’s that . but like . she only knows these people in context of partying - they’re her party friends and that’s it and her relationships with them are just kinda shallow .

i’d ALSO like a friend she makes that’s maybe a little more sheltered & naive to the world than she is so she just takes them to cool places and stuff !! shows them what it’s like to live on the ‘ wild side ’ !! whether it’s driving to a 24 hr gas station for candy and snacks in the middle of the night and staying out until sunrise just on the road or just sitting at misa’s apartment and watching true crime documentaries in their jammies . just sb misa’s gonna take like ‘ hey we’re gonna show u what LIVING is like ’

actual shipping . . . i would love to explore at a point but i wanna explore other things first so that’ll just be smth that comes up in development maybe !! i want misa to get a chance to experience what actual love is and explore the relationship aspect of it so i’m open to it but also i just wanna develop it n let it come naturally . filled !

ANYWAYS . i’m open to rly anything !! enemies ?? friends ?? frenemies ?? friends or enemies with benefits ?? unrequited crushes ?? exes ?? found family ?? party pals ?? streamer pals/enemies ?? LET’S PLOT IT OUT I’M SO EXCITED

sorry this is a long as hell list anyways let’s plot out some relationships even tho i’m bad at plotting and trust me the intro is. probs gonna be even longer. i am so sorry.

ANYWAYS ILY ALL IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE/PLOT W/ U GUYS

- - - - - - - - - - - POST-EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT EDIT : okay so this one is rly specific but , , , i rly would like if maybe misa had sb to go to the cirque du eradicus with ?? probably as a date !! a date that doesn’t have to amount to anything but they’re gonna b the one who witnesses misa go into the hall of mirrors n it’s gonna be kind of like a connection since they’re gonna have been together when that stuff happens and it could be rly fun to work with in the future . just gonna put the age limit for this one at 22 - 26 just bc gaps and all !! i think it could be cute if it goes well or interesting if it doesn’t but . yeah idk they can split off at some point for other threads bt ANYWAYS I JUST THINK IT’D B FUN filled !

also if anyone wants to bring me anyone from death note i will kiss u ESPECIALLY for light , l , rem , or matsuda . pls . maybe these characters can ACTUALLY get a normal fuckin’ life this time around - ( sometimes we just want to live in the yotsuba arc forever where everyone’s runnin around solvin mysteries and not scheming against each other - )

death note hits differently .

[danfanciesphil]

Love your writing! A prompt for you: I'd love to see Phil reacting to people saying he doesn't love Dan as much as Dan loves him which I think is stupid??

So, if you’ve read my fic Birthday Sex then you will know that I do not buy into this trope whatsoever, which i must say is a big reason I wrote it. I really just do not see where people are coming from when they say that Dan loves Phil more?? Maybe at the very, very beginning of their relationship it kind of seemed like Dan was a bit of an obsessed lovestruck young kiddo (spoiler: he was) but firstly, it’s important to remember that we don’t get to see everything the two of them say to one another and we already know that Dan tends to share a lot more with the public than Phil does. For example, when has Phil ever (barr his Draw My Life and a few other sparse instances) ever revealed anything serious and personal about himself? Whereas Dan just yesterday opened up about something so deeply intimate that it’s honestly baffling he had the courage at all. My point is that it’s highly, highly likely that there were things said between them behind the scenes that we just did not have any knowledge of whatsoever. I’d draw your attention to the Video That Will Not Be Named as an example, because obviously (if you choose to ignore dnp’s ‘explanation’ and see it as real/true) then it was NEVER meant to be seen by anyone except Dan. Think about that... if youtube hadn’t glitched, that video would not exist to us. How many more videos are there like this one? How many texts and phone calls and private conversations that are probably WAY more schmaltzy and incriminating??

Not only this, but as a follow up point, Phil is older, and he is maturer than Dan. The latter possibly gets less true as time goes on and Dan grows as a person (what a fantastic man he’s becoming I stg im so proud), but certainly up until now, Phil has been the adult of the two of them. Don’t try telling me he acts like a child either, because that’s not the same thing - he’s an entertainer for a family friendly YouTube channel, it doesn’t mean he isn’t a millionaire/business owner/well-educated, successful man. I find it not only silly that people expect him to be fawning over Dan every minute of the goddamn day on camera in order to prove his affection, but just ridiculously unrealistic. He’s a 30 year old man. If he is with Dan, then he’s been in a committed relationship with him for years. They’re over the honeymoon stage. They’re into something far more serious and committed now, and it’s a kind of love that doesn’t need to be shown at all times. 

Finally, I just want to add that apart from all I’ve said - neither of them (imo) show much sign of being madly in love with the other at all? I mean, you have to remember that we are a fandom, and it’s so easy to pick apart something and pull out the bits you want to fit your ideal picture. There is evidence of them being a couple, yes, but there’s also evidence against it! Neither of them refer to one another as ‘boyfriend’ or ‘partner’ and I honestly doubt they ever will! Dan is not constantly gooey over Phil, and the same goes the other way around. It baffles me that people can dissect every one of their looks and actions (I’m guilty of it too of course) and come up with these absurd headcanons such as “AWW DAn looks so in love here, and Phil looks so indifferent” because it’s just... it’s just completely ridiculous?? You have nothing to base that on whatsoever apart from a half second clip from a video - the leap to conclusion is beyond crazy. 

Idk I am aware i went off on a little ramble here, but this kind of thing is where the phandom descends into a total clusterfucky mess. It’s good to take a breather every once in a while and remind ourselves that the things we do know about the boys is very limited. Our ‘evidence’ from the past is still just a bunch of tweets and videos, none of us know them. I don’t want to destroy any ships, because personally I think there’s a LOT of mystery and confusion shrouding their relationship which could absolutely mean something else is going on, but again, I’m not going to make any mad assumptions about anything because at the end of the day I just don’t know. 

ANYWAY. Nothing wrong with writing FICTION about this, and that’s what you’ve asked for, so here my love! Thanks for the question (none of this was aimed at you btw! I know you’re just asking in general about the topic, I just wanted to share my thoughts on it).

Got a prompt for me? Click here! (Please be aware that due to an abundance of prompts, your prompt may take a few days to complete - but thank you all for submitting so far!)

The comment catches his attention, and Phil isn’t sure why. 

He’s scrolling through the comment section of the latest DanAndPhilGAMES video, a smile playing on his mouth as he reads everyone’s reactions to Dil’s latest adventures. 

It’s a treat he allows himself very rarely nowadays, to look through the comments. As Dan once said, it can be like picking through a minefield. Sure, the vast majority of the comments will be overwhelmingly positive, filled with adoration and appreciation of them both, lulling him into a false sense of security and then BAM! One will jump out, jarring him with its nasty words, or its negative perspective. Reading a mean comment can, even now, when there are literally thousands of nice once to combat it, throw Phil off-kilter for days. 

It can make him second guess every creative instinct. It can make him snappy and irritable, or just glum. 

This comment, though not exactly mean per se, is one such instance. He tries to ignore it, to just scroll past and move on with his life. It’s just a shipper comment, after all. That’s what he and Dan call them. Around half the comments they get on their videos are from the ‘shippers’. It’s fine. Usually neither of them pay any attention to them whatsoever. 

But this one has been upvoted 600 times. It has dozens of replies attached to it, clearly a topic of hot discussion. Phil scrolls back up, gnawing at his lip, and lets his eyes scan over the words again:

It’s so sad when Dan says something funny and looks at Phil all hopeful but Phil just ignores him. Heartbreaking to know that Dan will always love Phil more - ever since 2009. 3

Phil closes his laptop, wishing the words would dissolve from his brain. He shuts his eyes, but they burn behind his retinas, bright and jarring. Where do they get this stuff? Is that truly what people believe? 

He reopens his laptop and scrolls back up to the video, dragging the slider over the bar at the bottom of the window, scanning his and Dan’s faces for any signs of what that subscriber had said. 

As he scrolls through the video for the sixth time, squinting at the screen, he feels Dan flop down onto the sofa beside him, crunching something. Phil sits up, turning to Dan with warm cheeks, feeling caught out. 

Dan raises an eyebrow at him, glancing at the screen. He offers Phil a crisp from the packet in his hands. 

“Watching phan videos again?” Dan asks him, smiling. 

“Just... checking the comments on the Dil vid.” Phil tells him, and Dan sighs knowingly, placing the crisp packet aside. 

“Oh God, what’ve they said now?” Dan asks, shuffling towards Phil in order to see. 

Phil wonders if he should even mention this to Dan; it seems like it might be worse for him to know the fans seem to think this way, after all. Inevitably though, Phil breaks, not able to think up a good enough lie. 

With some reluctance, he scrolls down to the comment, and waits for Dan to read it, chewing his lip. 

“Oh,” Dan says in a strange voice, sitting upright. “That’s... I thought it was gonna be like ‘gay emo dicks’ or something.” 

Phil laughs a little, but it’s a hollow, unconvincing sound. “You know that... that’s not true, right?” 

Dan looks at him, something small and fearful hidden deep in the recesses of his eyes. “Yeah.”

He doesn’t sound very convinced, and it worries Phil immensely. “You’re my whole world, Dan.” Phil tells him with complete sincerity; Dan looks away, obviously embarrassed by the loaded emotion. “I know it sounds melodramatic. But you are. You’re my best friend, my favourite person in the world. I love you so much it’s crazy.”

There’s a choke to Dan’s voice when he next speaks. “Yeah,” he says again, sniffing. “I dunno where they get their weird ideas, tbh.”

Phil pushes his laptop off his knee, reaching for Dan and pulling him in. He holds him tight, pressing firm kisses into his soft curls. “I’m sorry if it ever comes off that way.” Phil tells him, voice a whisper of itself. “I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel that I might not... love you as much.”

Dan shakes his head. “Don’t be stupid.” He pulls away a little, looking up into Phil’s eyes, his smile watery. “I know how much you love me, you sap.”

Phil surveys him carefully, scanning his face for signs of a lie. Eventually a smirk creeps onto his lips, and Dan zeroes in on it, confused. 

“Well,” Phil purrs, leaning forwards until their lips brush. “If you ever need a reminder...” 

Dan snorts with laughter, trying to wriggle free of his grip. A few kisses later, however, he seems to give in.  

[violetemerald]

(the formatting is kinda messed up but I’m on mobile and it’s the best i can do. Sometimes separate bullet points aren’t showing up where they should, etc. Sorry.)

I was tagged by @peppersandcats to choose 3 fandoms and answer the questions.

Shameless US, Prison Break, and The 100

(These are the three shows I most recently found myself watching a bunch of episodes in a row for in order to finally, way late after being spoiled thoroughly via fanvideos, catch up on the newest seasons. And I am 100% caught up on them all now, yay.)

i. the first character i loved Well gosh aren’t I boring and predictable here? I love the main characters lol…

Fiona Gallagher

Michael Scofield

Clarke Griffin (to be fair also fell instantly for Raven the second she became a character.)

Shameless arguably is an ensemble without one main lead but. Fiona is kinda more of a main character overall than a lot of the siblings, especially from what I remember of the pilot. Even The 100 is eventually not that much “Clarke’s show”, but people embrace that she’s the lead protagonist if you’re picking only one, yes? She certainly started the pilot and ended the most recent season finale all on her own.

ii. the character i never expected to love so much

hmm… there are so many directions I could go with this. I can’t remember the beginning of my experience with Shameless well enough to be sure of what I was thinking exactly, but I must’ve not expected to love Mickey initially, and more recently I didn’t expect to love Trevor (Ian’s newest boyfriend) so VERY much. No one on Tumblr or YouTube in the fandom cares at all but like. He’s amazing?? So let’s say those 2 for now.

T-Bag? Lol s5 has corrupted me.

probably Monty. His emotional depth and importance as a character snuck up on me.

iii. the character i relate to the most

oh idk it depends on the season and the aspect of them that we’re talking about. It’s one of the 4 oldest siblings for sure, or all of them, lol… I just wrote up too much stuff then deleted it all kinda by accident. Whatever. I guess I relate to bits and pieces of Debbie, Ian, Lip, and Fiona and that is why I like the show so much . Because at least at times, I do relate to most of them. But really I don’t relate to any in that full of a way and I’m not sure I can even pick 1 I’m closest to.

None?? Idk relating to characters on Prison Break seems hard if I really think about it. Maybe Veronica. Or LJ. Thinking back to season 1. They’re both pretty relatable characters on some levels. They are meant to be, on the outside of it all, normal people. But they have good hearts.

relating to characters in a sci-fi futuristic dystopia/apocalypse/war… not actually very easy for me. Lol. Maybe Monty or Clarke?? Personality wise, even sexuality wise as people were headcanoning Monty as asexual before the newest season and Clarke is bisexual (I’m a biromantic-ish ace)… Yeah idk.

iv. the character i’d slap

Frank is the cockroach they keep trying to kill or at least keep out of their house for a reason… so obviously him. But I have no expectations or hopes with Frank. I think mainly Lip is most often who I feel frustrated with, who is too stubborn and who self sabotages and who hurts Fiona too much with what he says to her.

all the characters on Prison Break are either a) cinnamon rolls who don’t deserve slapping or b) people that beyond deserve it but they’d kill me and my entire family if I did. Lol. I therefore don’t think I “would” slap most of the scary criminal types on this show, and picking just one is hard.

Jaha? Yes repeatedly Thelonias Jaha really upsets me. Every single season.

v. three favorite characters (in order of preference)

Lip, Fiona, Ian, not sure about that order really. Debbie is close too.

Michael, Lincoln… Sucre? He really is the sweetest guy, they named him very deliberately lol. Also though Sid. I fell for him in s5 in Sucre’s absence?

Raven, Bellamy, Clarke, probably yes that order. I’m mainly thinking of the most recent season though for Bellamy.

vi. a character i liked at first but not anymore

Probably Mandy. I really don’t forgive her for her attempted murder and severely permanently hurting Karen… among other things?

Well… in season 5 Jacob Ness for sure, I so wanted to believe Sara’s new husband was this wonderful amazing guy… Even just for storytelling reasons it would be so much more interesting if she never stopped loving Michael, of course, but she also was fully in love with someone new…

hmm I’m not sure. This is harder than I thought for The 100. Probably Finn i liked quite a bit more at his start than his end lol. Idk. I’m pretty hard to fully turn against characters perhaps, and it’s just complicated on this show, so complicated. Abby I care about a lot less than I once did actually.

vii. a character i did not like at first but now do

I don’t remember my initial impressions that well either even thoughi rewatch parts of season 1 for vidding fairly regularly lol. I think Carl has grown on me a lot. Karen too, perhaps. I think most characters were pretty lovable early into their arcs though, or not meant to evet be liked.

Lincoln Burrows I didn’t dislike or anything but he certainly grew on me a lot, slowly becoming more and more lovable?

I need to rewatch to remember what characters were like in the beginning but I think Kane, Bellamy, maybe Murphy (idk how much I like him now but more than i did), etc.

vii. 3 OTPs

this is complicated to limit to three because there are so many options. I love the fact that Debbie seems content to marry Neil and have a nonsexual relationship with him even though they’re both straight. So they’re a new ship I support, Neil/Debbie. Actually many of the main ships this season were strong and I’m rooting for them into s8 when it comes out though. Lip/Sierra is my realistic shipping them now situation, although not perfect, and Ian/Trevor!! Yes these two mean the world to me. I don’t know about “OTP” though. Those are 3 so I’ll stop… But I have a love/ hate relationship towards pretty much every canon sexual relationship on the series… and I say sexual because half the time it’s not necessarily romantic…

3 ships. On this show??? The whole beauty of it is really all the platonic love lol. I like Michael/Sara yes, Lincoln/Sheba… and I vaguely remember at the end of season 4 rooting a little for Lincoln/Sofia too. And well, bonus #4 ship… thinking about season 5, Sid/his first lover should’ve been allowed to survive happily ever after.

canon? Maybe just Clarke/Lexa. (Vaguely i once shipped Clarke/Wells but they killed him off in like ep 3 so.) AU though… I’ve been shipping Kane/Jaha slash since the pilot lol, maybe to spite actor Isaiah Washington who plays Jaha but got fired from Grey’s Anatomy for being homophobic but really because the two men totally seem in love to me. And I shipped Clarke/Raven as soon as Raven landed on the ground, as soon as Clarke saw the guy she’d just slept with kissing Raven and decided to still smile at Raven and be genuinely glad she survived…

Most canon The 100 ships I enjoy a little.

Sorry if this was way too long. I had fun answering though! I know you’re already tagged, @quarticmoose, but I too would like to see your answers…

I’m not sure who to tag. @nickneedstherapy, @bookgirlfan, @purrplelace, @zserb really anyone who wants to be tagged please just let me know and I’ll add you or just. Do it anyway!

[lilyemrys]

 Rules:

1. Always post the rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people.

Tagged by: @kasumi-chou, @miraculous-katsukii, @iceprinceofbelair, and @where-his-towel-is​ 

(woah I have to do a lot but I absolutely love getting tagged in stuff omg ily guys)

——— kas’ questions

First letter of your real name  F

Age/birthday 28th November! I’m turning 18 :))))

Favourite season THATS REALLY TOUGH. I’m gonna say autumn because its cold but not too cold y’know? And the fall colors are gorgeous. 

Favourite fruit Oranges! and mangos! And strawberries! Uhhhhhhhhhh I have too many ooops

Do you have short, medium or long hair? I had long until a week ago, but now they’re medium

Hanahaki or soulmate? *googles hanahaki for this* I’m gonna say soulmates, because I like everyone getting at least one person they could spend their life with. (Tbh soulmates irl would be kinda problematic because what if they died? What if you fell in love with someone else? who knows!)

Angst or Fluff? Depends on the mood, but most likely angst. I love love love angst with happy endings. (But then I’ve also read several MCDs when I’m that kinda mood). But I also absolutely loVE fluff because CUTE.

Soundboard (help the writer with ideas) or beta (help the writer with wording/grammar)? Personally I think I’m much better as a beta (because grammar ayeee), but I can be a soundboard too! Idea bouncing is always fun (although tbh I don’t know how good I am at it)

Do you still have an active ff.net? If yes, link I never had one haha!

Would you trade one of Phichit’s hamsters to bring Vicchan back to life? ......how dare you ask me that. ACTUALLY WAIT. Yes, yes I would. Because you said trade, aka I could trade the hamster to a friend or something and still get to see him everyday. (#lawyered)

Should Victor and Yuuri both wear white at their wedding? Should they? Nah, man, let them wear whatever they want to. (I mean......they’re gonna be naked by the end of it anyways, so does it really matter is the real question)

————- andi’s questions

Spring or autumn? *sweats* I love them both oh gosh. I love autumn weather, but spring clothes and spring also means summer break is coming soon. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Classical music or EDM? *googles EDM to answer this* I like them both! Although tbh I don’t listen to either as much

Morning person or night owl? NIGHT OWL FTW. My average bedtime is 3am

Pastel or punk? I’m a pastel princess

Painting or singing? *sweats some more* HOW ABOUT BOTH. I love singing while painting, how about that. 

Piano or violin? Piano! Although I really love love love the sound of a violin. But like, nothing can beat a piano for me.

Jeans or skirts? I want to say skirts because I always feel so flowery and pretty in them (but low-key I always get hella annoyed with them)

Extrovert or introvert? I thought I was an extrovert for a second. And then I laughed at myself for thinking of such a weird thing. I’m like an Introvert™

Fantasy book or non-fictional book? fantasy yes please. need me some action. some DRAMA (also dragons)

Discovery channel or disney channel? *uses fairy wand to draw disney logo*

Hair up or hair down person? hair down ftw. My hair looks extremely poofy and frizzy when its down and I just get really annoyed with it.

————- adrian aka light of my life’s questions

What’s your favourite planet? Oh man I have so many good answers to this. okay a) Uranus, because I’m a teenager and cannot help it b) Pluto, because VIVA LA PLUTO its such a smol planet that just wants some love (also side note: I was tying smol and my laptop corrected it to smoldering and I can’t stop laughing) c) Neptune, because I love Percy Jackson’s dad Poseidon and d) Earth, because it has all of you lovely folks

Do you speak any other languages? I do! I speak English and Hindi fluently. I can understand and can speak sometimes Punjabi, and I can speak/understand Spanish to a limit.

What’s your dream job? oh mAN. *side eyes all the future career quizzes I’ve taken* Honestly, at this point I have no clue. Something with design preferably. Or a film director! That’d be fun. Yeah idk, just something I would have fun doing :)

If you were choosing a new name for yourself, what would it be? .....that is a good question. I’m gonna say Lily because thats my internet nickname and its really cute

Do you like flowers? I love flowers. Give me all the flowers

Is there a nickname you’d like people to call you but have never asked? Not particularly. I just like when people give me nicknames in general because its like a special thing y’know

What colour would you dye your hair? I just dyed my hair yesterday actually! It’s a really pretty reddish brown. I think in a couple years I might go for some non-natural hair colors like blue or something. (I also love how pretty silver/grey hair looks but alas, I could never pull it off)

What’s the best birthday you ever had? I was going to be cliché and say my sweet 16, but I’m gonna go with my 10th birthday. I had absolutely no idea we were doing anything until I came out of my room and my best friend at the time just pounced on my back. Soon a couple others came and we had a blast. (This was the night before my birthday) And then the next day my mom took us all to go watch a movie. The best part though was when used the wrapping paper from the gifts to hide away umm some provocative movie posters.

Do you play any instruments? I play the piano! But I haven’t practiced in such a long time oops

Can you swim? I used to be convinced I was a mermaid when I was a little kid. I LOVE swimming.

What are you afraid of? Our inevitable doom and destruction and the realization that one day, none of what we do will ever matter because we will be dust. No, I’m kidding. I’m gonna have to say just being completely alone and nobody liking me. Also, lizards.

————- ellen’s questions

Where is wally/waldo if you’re one of those weirdos from Across The Pond *sweats*

favourite tv show theme tune? DOO WEEE DOOOOOOOOOO. Actually I’m pretty sure that isn’t my favorite, but its fun to say.

If you could live in an AU what AU would you write for yourself? One where I am successful and happy and someone loves me as much as Victor and Yuuri love each other. (probably not the answer you were expecting oops)

Which powerpuff girl are you? Blossom!

Which ship in YOI do you think needs some more lovin by the fandom? Sara/Mila haha. (ngl I don’t really have that many ships in YOI other than Victuuri)

How long would you last in a horror movie? .0000002 seconds. Self preservation? What self preservation. I would totally just trip into the murderer’s knife or whatever

leopard print or tiger stripes? and which half of victuuri would you put in which clothes? Hmmm I’m gonna say tiger stripes. I feel like they could both rock either, but in the end it wouldn’t even matter because somehow those clothes would end up in Yurio’s closet.

how much would you pay kubo-sensei for the down low on the YOI movie? one corn chip (sorry oops I was just thinking about memes) Probably nothing because I don’t like spoilers. (but then again, I do like knowing more than other people so who knows)

favourite type of sky? (e.g. sunset, cloudy sky, overcast etc) A clear night sky when you can see all of the constellations glittering down on you

why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get hit by a car after those ap exams. (actually did you know “To get to the other side” was supposed to be a joke about after life because I never got that until recently)

if you could send a message to all creators with your newly acquired psychic powers, what would that message be? “GIVE ME STUFF. ALSO YOU ARE AWESOME AND MAKE GR8 STUFF (but you need to totally give me all the stuff)” because I’m a selfish butt

OKAY, now for my questions. Let’s see.

What is your favorite part of the day? (This can be a time, like the morning, or an action, like seeing your pet)

What is something you’ve always wanted someone to do for you, but never told them?

If you could do something for the rest of your life without fear of going broke/getting hurt, what would it be?

Can you describe the color blue without using the word? (I’m so ready to hear these responses aye)

Best compliment you ever received? 

What is your favorite au trope?

What is your favorite memory?

What is something you’ve always secretly wanted people to compliment you on?

Hogwarts house?

What is your favorite song at the moment? (Or your #1 played song on your phone if you don’t have one)

Do you cry during movies/tv shows/while reading books/fanfics?

FFFFFF I don’t even know if I know 11 people and most of them either a) already tagged me, or b) have already done this. But anyways

Tag: @sea-goddess-amphitrite, @cary-onmywaywardson, @islandsofjohnmontagu, @iceprinceofbelair, @kasumi-chou, @nikifirov, @where-his-towel-is, @rayrayswimusic, @miraculous-katsukii, @flowercrownyuri, @accioharo, and @overcome-chihoko (I’m tagging 12 people because fight me)

(I’M SORRY FOR TAGGING YOU BACK IF I DID and I hope its okay that I tagged all of you guys. I just really want to know what you guys would say :) also if you don’t want to answer these its totally fine. <3 you)

[herotheshiro]

i didn’t know where to post this -- here or on my other blog where i’ve moved my fandom ramblings but i’ve decided to put it here since it kind of touches on more personal topics/feelings. jk i wrote it all out and i didn’t really touch too much on personal stuff so into the fandom blog it goes. also putting it under a read more bc it ended up being pretty damn long wow

recently had a sort of issue/not-issue on twitter where i kind of openly expressed my dislike for this one character. no essay backing up why i dislike them, but i do have my (valid) reasons and i tend to be kind of semi-serious w my hate so i didn’t think too much abt swinging my opinions around. and also since this twitter is a recent development, i’m more used to tumblr where even if you openly express an opinion, you have a ton of character space to utilize to explain your opinion so you tend to explain yourself anyway unlike twitter’s limited character tweets where you basically just express your opinion and that’s it. anyway i might have gotten a little carried away since i don’t really interact w anyone in fandoms anymore and only w my fam member who we enable each others’ opinions and put my opinion on my bio and i think that along w my tweet trail led to potentially being vagued abt by a twitter account that mostly posts abt that fandom. i still have reason to suspect that /i/ wasn’t the sole target of the vagueing (if even) bc they said some stuff abt this character’s negative opinion that apparently someone expressed that /i/ never overtly said (like he’s evil and bad simply bc of how he treats this one person but i never said that, just implied that he’s a general asshole and maybe his relationship w this one person isn’t as good as i’ve seen previously from the fandom which is what i’ve deduced from reading canon content). since they never mentioned names or twitter handles explicitly, i purposely made some tweets (still being open, no censoring on purpose) to try to get a direct response and also low-key targeting the vaguers (out of my paranoia that they were indeed talking abt me which honestly prob not but also it’s a relatively small eng-speaking fandom involved w this character so they have to have stumbled upon me at one point). i did get a response (not from the vaguer(s)) from someone calling me out for not censoring my open dislike of this one character. but i also suspect they knew abt my dislike of this one character stemming from their interactions w another character bc they started talking abt shipping even though i never mentioned a ship in those tweets (but i did mention the latter character though not in conjunction w the former). anyway i felt the familiar heat of embarrassment upon seeing that notif of their callout but i almost immediately felt better abt the entire situation bc i finally got the direct callout i was waiting for and i knew what i needed to take down. direct and clear action

in hindsight after i made a series of vagueing tweets last night lol i feel like this entire situation is just me creating unnecessary drama and wildly hitting even ppl not even involved at all (as noted by the callout which was supposedly having non-involved randos in mind) just to make myself feel better or something which isn’t really respectful in any way (and i was totally open abt me just swinging wildly after the callout and my ensuing taking down of posts. this isn’t even a private twitter where ig it’s apparently socially acceptable to talk abt shit like that). and also makes me think maybe i never really learned anything from being online for almost my entire life. a weird part of me has always wanted to become fandom-famous online but i’ve never succeeded in doing so nor have i made an online group of friends i can bounce my opinions and headcanons off of. so i’ve never really developed an online community, i’ve always just been on the fringes and yelling into the mass without getting much attention. now ik that apparently twitter does indeed chuck your opinions well into that mass (good and bad i suppose), it’s a bit surprising to actually get “attention” ... i also mentioned this in my tweets last night but i really really dislike getting vagued abt which my psychoanalyzing brain was like “that’s bc you don’t like not knowing what others think abt you irl” and yeah if you got an issue w me i’d prefer you to tell it directly to my face rather than pretend you like me (which is totally hypocritical bc i do the latter to others but also i tend to just swerve ppl i dislike so it’s not like i go out of my way to pretend to be nice to them).

idk where i was trying to go w this bc now that i’m writing it out i’m like wow yeah i’m still in the wrong huh. sometimes i am in the wrong like years ago when i got called out for grossly shipping irl ppl (which yes i will admit i did do once upon a time but now i no longer do it or am ok w it) but i don’t feel like i was in the wrong this time so i just feel a little frustrated abt the vagueing bc if i was part of the group they were vagueing abt then i was definitely painted as someone w no critical thinking skills which i do, i just don’t share their opinion which they think is right (and tbh i wonder if THEY have critical thinking skills bc they said some things in defense of their opinion which i don’t agree with esp if you’re interpreting canon content like that. are we even reading the same content). i do genuinely feel better abt the series now bc before i was literally anxiety whenever i thought of or even saw the related characters. my fam member was trying to talk abt the series to me and they weren’t even talking abt the related characters but i just wasn’t feeling it bc of this whole situation which i literally made abt me even though there was no indication whatsoever it was abt me. this all make me think that i really should take a good fucking long break from fandoms and social media bc it just gives me unneeded stress and anxiety abt cancel culture, trying to be likeable enough to become fandom-famous, seeing hot takes, etc etc. i’ve already been winding down in terms of strongly interacting w fandoms but my mental health has not been doing so hot recently bc of irl things and fandoms are not ameliorating it at all. ik for some fandoms do indeed make ppl feel better but that’s when ppl actually interact w them and they’re not stuck in a bubble of no response whatsoever while ppl may potentially gab abt them outside of that bubble. my issue is that i always feel the need to create when i really get into a fandom and when you create you want ppl to respond to your creations! so you need to interact w the fandom. but then i then want to actually interact w the fandom fr instead of just posting from time to time and staying out of it and you know where that gets me sometimes. i think it’s bc i had a good time in the pjo and warriors fandoms and i want something like that again in new fandoms i’m in but for whatever reason that’s not how it is now.

i didn’t jump into the vagueing tweet mess bc as i said i wasn’t directly called out and also better to just ignore it but i couldn’t get it out of my head. and that’s making me really consider leaving fandom social media and just create fanworks solely for myself without even posting them online. my works don’t really get much response anyway which is fine tbh even having 1 like these days is good enough so it’s not like i’d be losing out. but idk man ... sometimes you just want to share stuff w others. maybe i should just make my own website and put stuff on there w no expectation for likes or whatever. this has also made me re-evaluate whether or not i really do want to go into art professionally. ik this one situation is inevitable w putting your opinion out on the internet and i wasn’t even in the wrong i feel bc it’s not like i have a problematic opinion (racism, sexism, incest, etc) but it has put a damper on creating content to put online even if the content i eventually want to create is original and is in no way associated w fandoms. even as i write that out i realize it’s kind of stupid to have such a damper put on me. i should watch spiderverse again bc that was the film that really inspired me to create my own creative visual content again and also i’ve been feeling really uninspired lately. ik i shouldn’t let this kind of stuff get me down if i really want to create art in the future but it’s hard to deal w sometimes. honestly i really should be seeing a therapist but also wow now it’s delving into more personal territory so i’ll end it here.

tl;dr i need to learn how to chill on the internet and i think i need to create boundaries for fandoms fr and stick w those boundaries for the benefit of my mental health. maybe i shouldn’t have gotten a twitter in the first place lol even if all i made it for originally was just so i could message a proxy on twitter and not to actually get involved in fandom twitter. i didn’t even get the proxied good in the end anyway bc i was forced to cancel the payment by a third party bc the proxy had not sent me the good in months despite them updating relatively regularly on how busy they were as a student. hah that just how it be

also side note i was like to myself “ok you need to chill bc these series’ characters aren’t real. there’s no need to get so worked up over them” but then i realized even that opinion is “problematic” bc there are ppl out there who really use the characters as like idk a therapy object and i’m genuinely not trying to be an asshole i just forgot the specific wording you use. so even if i’m like ‘they’re fake’ there are others who are like ‘no they make me feel better so don’t hate !!’ which idk is a mentality which i think ppl should shift away from bc you can’t be in fandoms forever unless you’re a professional fictional content creator which is also an opinion i think a good number of ppl would disagree w (“they’re not bothering anyone and it’s their life so what are you to say what they should do??”). idk this is my hot take for the day i guess but it’s fine to be a fan of stuff as you grow up but i think it should become less of a focus/active part in your life as you grow older. i mean maybe that’s a cynical way of seeing things bc maybe creating fanwork is a good de-stressor for ppl but i think i feel that way bc i’m not going into creative content professionally career-wise but ... idk what i’m trying to say here. i guess i just have complicated thoughts on fandoms in general.