#anyway. points. da vinki.

[suckinitup]

lil writing I foud in the drafts. TW disassociation and brain fog

Vyncent doesn't feel awake.

He blinks down at the stove, slow, and tries to remember what he was making. Soup, his mind supplies, but that's obviously not right. It's a frying pan in front of him with little cubed pieces of beef. His knife is in one hand, a spatula in the other. There's still muck on his knife. He puts the spatula down in the pan to stir, but his attention is drawn again to his knife. Why hadn't he cleaned it off, yet?

Hands to pocket, finds his cloth, hesitates. Raw meat juice. Can't contaminate anything. That's the important thing in cooking. Not contaminating your surfaces.

Wait. Aren't people raw meat? His cloth is already contaminated, and so is his knife. That's okay then. They're allowed to be gross, the way that cutting boards are allowed to be gross. He'll just have to wash his hands afterwards.

He puts his cloth to the knife and pauses, stares at it. He's just standing there. Everything feels like cotton, like fabric between his finger and an edge.

Careful, that's right, that's what he was trying to remember. Careful along the blade so he doesn't cut, doesn't dull. Just wipes clean.

Knife away. Cloth in pocket. A pan in front of him, sizzling, and a spatula left inside it. He goes to grab the spatula by the handle, remembers the contamination, and withdraws. The sink...?

Behind him. Washing his hands is important. He goes to do that. Nothing is connecting right and he tries to focus on the steps. Water, soap, lather. The sink keeps running. Vyncent stares at the water flow, uncomprehending as his hands run over each other.

"Vyncent?"

Vyncent looks up to see Dakota. "Oh. Hey."

Dakota's eyes sweep over the scene. His eyes narrow a little and he frowns--his thinking face. Vyncent resigns himself to patient waiting, but the expression disappears as quickly as it had arrived. "Bad day?" Dakota asks, voice soft.

"Huh?" 

Vyncent looks down. His hands are still under the running faucet. He doesn't know how long he's been here.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess."

It's a little easier with Dakota there, moving around behind him. Like watching the hands of a clock, seeing the time move in front of him. Vyncent turns off the water, starts dying his hands as he listens to the little click of the stove turning off behind him. Oh, that weird smell is like burning. That's probably what drew Dakota in here. "...Is it rude to order pizza?" Dakota asks, almost hesitant. It's weird for Dakota to act delicate, like Vyncent is fragile. That's a mode usually reserved for William. Vyncent isn't sure how to act when its turned on him. Not sure how to feel about it.

"Nah," Vyncent answers, putting extra effort into the casual shrug of his shoulder. Look at him, feeling fine. "Pineapple?" 

"Will's going to kill you," Dakota says easily. "Yeah, pineapple. Hey, how about a movie?"

"Something scary?"

"I'll ask Will to pick," Dakota decides. He presses forwards, effectively herding Vyncent towards the other room. Vyncent feels mildly irritated, and mildly fond. The cotton is thinner, and his thoughts are easier to hold on to. He's awake enough, even, to go to the couch without prompting and have the forethought to adjust the pillows, grab the blankets. He hears Dakota on the phone behind him, already ringing up the pizza place, so he takes it upon himself to pre-choose a few movie selections for William. He doesn't have to. It's probably a little rude. He wants to pick at least a little, like he has to prove that he can. But also. He doesn't want to watch the Bee Movie right now.

It's nice, though, when William comes in and takes a pick from Vyncent's selections. It's nice when they're all bundled onto the couch, Dakota's head in his lap and William a warm line against his side. Solid weight. It's still a bad day. Still hard to focus on the movie, hard to follow the plot. It's a nice bad day, though, and right now that's enough.

[marc--chilton]

shoutout to that time i had a dream that larry was cheating on alison with adam only to knock him up on accident and adam never saying a word about it so they could keep the status quo (he didnt want to lose lawrence)

[darkopsiian]

Hi it's me, your Discord gifter that gave you multiple traditional drawings, specifically the Jester Hunter and Da Vinki gifts, anyway. points at The Wasting aggressively WHO MADE THE SHITHEADS OF FARM ARRAYS EVEN WORSE?

[glowinggator]

Da Vinky?? - Leonardo

Pairing: Leonardo 

Content Warnings: Swearing? Mention of a knife for cutting apples? Honestly, it’s just straight up fluff. Wrote this in the middle of my Spanish class because I kept thinking about it <3 

Word Count: 941

The small knife glides through the apple effortlessly as you slice it into small, wedge-shaped pieces. You place each sliver on a plate to your right, wiping the juice off on a spare paper towel. No sense in getting apple juice on your blankets, especially not this early in the week. You grab an extra piece from the plate to snack on as you cut up the rest of the apple. It’s perfectly sweet, just as you like it. You smile at the tranquility of the moment as you whittle away at the apple. Silence, save for the methodical ripping of apple cells. 

What are the ethics of owning a turtle when your best friends are giant, anthropomorphic versions of them? Would it be the same as owning a monkey with human friends? Or is the genetic link too far apart for relation? Is the latter even ethical? Whatever. You suppose it doesn’t matter all too much, considering the former is only a temporary foster. You make a mental note to return to the monkey debate later, though. You glance at the large tank that rests on your dresser, peering in at its inhabitant. On a rock a small turtle lies, basking in the heat of the lamp. You drop a cut piece of apple into the tiny turtle’s tank and watch as he slowly crawls the foreign object. Ironic, isn’t it? Out of all the turtles the universe could have given you to foster, it had to have been a red eared slider. You chuckle to yourself. Maybe Leo would get a kick out of his name. No, he absolutely will. He’s sent you that meme far too many times. 

A dull tap on your window pulls you out of your thoughts and you smile to yourself. The universe really does have a sense of humor, no? You stand up from your spot on the bed, turning around to flash a smile to the turtle outside the window. You find yourself entranced as you walk towards him, breathing a gentle sigh at the way his perfect, cobalt eyes shine in the moonlight. Of course, you push the thought away as quickly as it comes, scolding yourself internally. This isn’t the time to deal with your feelings: that’s an issue for a later time. He shoots you a smile and a two-finger salute, swords bouncing gently as he moves. And thus, your heart swells once again. You delicately place the kitchen blade on the window sill to push the window open and it glides open effortlessly, loosened from hundreds of nights like tonight. The cold, autumn air rushes in instantaneously, and you’re suddenly very thankful that you made enough money to pay for heating. He clambers in quickly, eager to get out of the cold. A practiced song and dance at this point. 

“So, who is it this time?” you grin, picking up the knife and tossing it onto your nightstand. 

“You know me so well,” he smiles. “It’s Donnie, because of course it is! He read some big science paper, and now he’s trying to disprove whatever it said. Something about 4-D black holes, whatever that means. And of course his headphones are broken, because why wouldn’t they be? And now he’s playing his awful music way too loud, and honestly?” He flops onto your bed, bouncing gently: “I’m not dealing with that mess again. You couldn’t pay me. Anyways, what’re you up to?” He reaches over to grab a slice of apple, prompting a smile from you. “What?” He asks. 

Despite the mutagen, there’s still some similarities. Or maybe Hamato’s just like apples. You’ll have to ask Splinter about that later. “Well,” you start, “I’m fostering a turtle, for one.” 

He bolts up from the bed, and you laugh. “Dude, what? You should have led with that, my Donnie story can totally wait. Dude, introduce me.” 

“You’re gonna make friends with my foster turtle?” 

“Duh?” 

You laugh, gesturing to the tank. “You can’t pick him up or anything, but you can feed him some apples. He loves ‘em.” 

He rolls off the bed, squatting next to the large tank. He smiles softly when he spots the little guy, resting his head on his hand. He grabs a piece of apple and lowers it into the tank, smile growing brighter as he watches him eat. He’s cute. “So,” he starts, “what’s its name?” 

“Guess.” 

“Leo?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Blue?” 

“No.” 

“Theodore Seville, Copyright Alvin and The Chipmunks, Parenthesis 2007, Directed by Tim Hill?” 

How the fuck does he have that memorized? You laugh, “No, but close.” 

He chuckles with you, pulling his attention away from the mini-him and unto you, “Damn, thought I got it that time. I give. What’s the lil’ dude’s name?” 

You smile, pausing for a moment. He leans forward, and your smile grows. “His name is Da Vinky.” 

He pulls his hands up to his face, laughing into them softly. You smile and lean on the dresser to look at him fully, heart melting at his reaction. Yeah, you definitely made the right choice by going with the meme name. “Alright,” he breathes, reluctantly pulling his hands away from his face to beam at you, “Before we get to how cute it is that you technically named him after me, please tell me you seriously named this fucking baby after a meme. I’m actually gonna lose it if you’re messing with me.”

“Duh?” you mimic. “For real though, it was between Da Vinky or Tintoretto. I figured you’d appreciate Da Vinky more.”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was blushing. But he’s cold-blooded, right?

[hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong]

The Century War of Wyverns, Part 3: Jeanne's Mystery

[Previous] [Contents] [Next]

Cris: Finally! Today we get to reveal all of Jeanne's mysteries! Like, did you know she has a-

Jeanne: Not me, the servant! Anyway, no content warnings on this one, so please enjoy!

Kat: We meet our first servant of the singularity, and come up with a plan to take down the bad guy! This one's pretty short, but we'll get to the good stuff soon!

------

Jeanne Lily: As you have guessed, I am indeed a Servant, Lancer class. My true name is Jeanne d’Arc. Now, I ask you: how did you know I’m a servant?

April (Kat): We can sense those kindsa things.

Jeanne Lily: We?

Kat: <Oh no>

April (Kat): Yes! When I said we, I meant… Chaldea! They’re good guys! Here, you can meet my boss!

Da Vinci: Hello April. Is everything okay? It’s awfully late for a call.

As soon as Vinky’s hologram popped up, Jeanne kinda flipped out. She started pointing her spear at her and poking it with the tip. Thank goodness it was just a hologram!

Jeanne Lily: Aah! …huh. Who is this tiny blue lady?

April (Kat): This is Da Vinci! She’s a servant too. Da Vinci, say hi to Jeanne d’Arc!

Da Vinci: Hello. I’m not actually with you at the moment. Just think of this like a kind of magic, letting us talk over long distances. We are an organization dedicated to protecting humanity. Right now, we are trying to put a stop to the disturbances happening in France.

April (Kat): Yeah, we’re here to kick Jeanne d’Arc’s butt!

April (Kat): I mean, the other one. Not you, you seem nice. Love the outfit by the way, very cute.

Jeanne Lily: It’s okay, I agree with you. The other me must be stopped before France is burned to the ground!

Da Vinci: What do you know about this other you?

Jeanne Lily: I was there when she was summoned! We both got summoned at the same time, but… I barely count as a servant. It was all I could do to escape Orleans as she used an army of dragons to burn it to the ground.

April (Kat): We’re gonna be fighting dragons too!?

Da Vinci: Summoning a single dragon would be scratching the edge of possibility for a mage who isn’t in the Age of Gods. If she’s summoned enough to attack an entire city at once, there’s no question about it- she must have a Holy Grail!

Jeanne Lily: I know I can’t beat her in a fight, but I can’t do nothing either! Please, let me come with you to defeat her!

April (Kat): Of course! We’re gonna find a leyline in the morning so we can summon some help!

Da Vinci: Actually, I have a theory about that. Jeanne, you said you and the other Jeanne were summoned at the same time, right? This isn’t just a battle for France, but the fate of humanity as we know it. Humanity as a whole has its own will, and the stronger a threat to humanity is, the stronger this will fights to protect itself. We still don’t know how this “Jeanne Alter” was summoned, but I think this Jeanne was summoned by that will.

Jeanne blushed as she looked down, kicking a rock with her boot.

Jeanne Lily: I-I didn’t realize I was that important…

April (Kat): Wait, how do you know about this stuff?

Now it was Da Vinci’s turn to be embarrassed! She kinda turned away from the camera and said:

Da Vinci: Let’s just say I might have done a lot more than history books give me credit for and leave it at that for now.

Da Vinci: A-anyways, if that’s the case it’s likely there are other servants in France who will help us! Let’s look for them first, before we use up any of Chaldea’s resources. Jeanne, are there any towns nearby we can check?

Jeanne Lily: La Charite is within a day’s walk from here!

April (Kat): Awesome! We’ll start looking there!

Cris: <Could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep here!>

April (Kat): In the morning! We’ll start in the morning!

[casualdadnomad]

have I done gaang x slang words? brb checking the masterpost... ok no i have not. i'd like to offer up some modern gaang x slang

modern atla masterpost :)

Sokka, Suki, and Toph use the word "bruh" just... so much

Katara and Zuko don't really use internet slang in real talking

Aang uses slang, but he's so bad at it. flameo hotman, anyone?

he uses words like lit, extra, bae, yeet, etc. kinda outdated and a little cringe

Suki says rad unironically but it works cause i love it

Sokka says shit like homie, homeslice, homeboy, all variations of that

Toph says shit like broski, brotato, broseph, all variations of that

Katara did the "and i oop" and sksksksksks thing when that was a thing

now she just does sdsjdhsjdhsjdhsjsjsjd

Azula uses "fire" a lot because it makes sense. fire is good. we love fire.

she also uses "mood" but only for like... inanimate objects or people showing extreme depression or god complexes

Ty Lee says shit like "we vibing" "i'm baby" but its cute when she does it

Zuko quotes vines and tiktoks that he retained from being sent vines and tiktoks by Sokka

Sokka at one point just died, because Zuko was caught off guard by something and said "da vinky?"

Aang is under the impression that "simp" is a positive thing because he has been called a simp like a million times for just being sweet to Katara

Sokka: here Suki want to wear my sweatshirt? // Aang: okay simp // Sokka: ?????

Mai uses terms like "bitch boy" and "piss baby" and "coward" to both her friends and people she doesn't like. it all depends on tone and context to tell what she means.

Ty Lee does the finger point and the 😙✌️

Suki and Sokka, constantly, to everyone: sweater weather? do you cuff your jeans? clear phone case?

Azula, Mai, Ty Lee: girl in red? do you make earrings?

Zuko: so r u gay or no

i am simply not a man so idk if mlm has any sort of code. anyways. this was dumb but i vibe with it. have a nice night kids

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[madisonrooney]

it's your secret santa!! fun fact i tried to get to your blog by searching amandarooney lol. anyway!! do you have any particular rooney family christmas tradition headcanons? what are traditions your family has, if you celebrate?

lol funny thing about that is i sometimes use that as an alias on websites when i dont wanna use my full name

OH YOU WANT LIV AND MADDIE HEADCANONS????

i literally did a little happy dance when i read that lolol and i think my mom saw me 😅

i like to think that post finale they still all come together in stevens point, including aunt dena and ruby. theyre all still in touch pretty constantly but ofc theyre extra excited to be able to catch up in person, especially the twins. they spend a lot of time holed up in their old room catching one another up and probably making dumb tiktoks lol (they would absolutely recreate the da vinky vid). they still break out the matching sweaters from joy-to-a-rooney and still have dinner from wishnevsky’s deli (artie probably offers to cook again but liv refuses haha). thanks for asking that!! i LOVE sharing liv and maddie hcs.

my family does celebrate christmas and we dont have that many traditions but we always open a couple presents on christmas eve and watch the disney parks parade christmas morning! what about you?

[prettyallfriends]

PriPara: Aim to Become No. 1 in the Idol☆Grand Prix: Prologue+Ch 1 English Translation

(I originally planned to translate the PriPara games after finishing the Pretty Rhythm ones, but I think I’ll try to juggle them instead! The PriPara 3DS games have a main story along with character side stories, I will do them in unlock order. Like with my other current translation, choices will be in bold, and the Player character’s name is just Player.)

Prologue

??? (Meganee): Welcome to Prism Stone! Play PriPara, where anyone can enjoy an idol debut and wear a lot of trendy coords!

Girl: Yaaaay! I made my debut as an idol! And I got a tomoticket! Woaaah, what a cute coord! Let’s snap tomotickets! Mine will be in high demand soon, because I’m definitely gonna be No. 1 in the Idol☆Grand Prix!

??? (Meganee): Everyone’s a friend! Everyone’s an idol! Will you also try going to the world of PriPara? 

Choice: Of course I will! / There’s no way I could be an idol…

??? (Meganee): Nice response! Please enjoy your idol life! You’ve a really nice smile, an idol’s talent is their shining smile! What kind of idol will you end up becoming…? And what kind of fans will you make smile…? I can’t wait to see! I’ve been searching for someone like you… But before that I’ve been wondering, who are you? Looks like introductions are in order!

Meganee: My name is Akai Meganee. I help everyone with their coords. Feel free to call me Meganee! ...Huh? I’m being pushy? That’s because of the system! Hehehe. Anyway, before you go to PriPara, could you tell me a bit about yourself?

(Mychara creation)

Meganee: Thanks for telling me all that! I feel like I know you quite well now. Player-chan, it’s nice to meet you! Well then, let’s get going. Let’s go! PriPa-...

???: Winwinwinwinwinwin…

Meganee: Huh!? That siren… Meganii-san!?

Meganii: It’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is Akai Meganii. I felt a woooonderful idol aura from around here… Ah, you must be the one to whom that aura belongs to. 

Meganee: Player-chan is going to debut today. Maybe they’ll become popular and shine in the Idol☆Grand Prix!

Meganii: I see… They certainly have a bright smile. I heard the power of your smile say “Come over here~!” after all. Player-san, please allow me to cheer for you during your idol debut. I shall give you the power to design a My☆Cyalume Coord!

(My☆Cyalume Coord design tutorial, basically you can recolour anime character coords)

Meganii: You will undoubtedly make many people smile with the My☆Cyalume Coord that you design. Gachagachagacha~

(My☆Cyalume design time. We only have four colours available so it looks awful. Sorry Laala I ruined your coord)

Meganee: What a wonderful coord! It suits you, Player-chan!

Meganii: Nice!

Meganee: Now that you’re ready, it’s time to start your PriPa-life!

Meganii: Please try your hardest in the Idol☆Grand Prix, I’m looking forward to it.

Meganee: Player-chan will definitely win the Grand-… huh? ...You don’t have any clue what the Idol☆Grand Prix is, do you!? I completely forgot to explain! Um… Well, first of all I’ll turn on PriPara☆Music TV…

Meganii: Winwinwinwinwinwin…

Meganee: ...looks like we’re too late. Don’t worry! You’ll find out about the Grand Prix soon enough. You wanted an in-depth explanation? Sorry!

Meganii: This is also thanks to the system! Winwinwinwinwinwin…

Meganee: Anyways, Player-chan, make sure to shine your brightest in PriPara! Everyone’s a friend! Everyone’s an idol! Lets go! PriPa-life!

(End of Prologue, Meganii jumps out to explain the coord gacha but I don’t care lol. Crying though bc I got a PR and then had to delete my file because I realised I had made a translation mistake)

Grand Prix Story 1: Aim to Become the No. 1 Idol!

???: Oh no, hurry! We’re going to be beary late for PriPara☆Music TV! You have to run, Laala! Mirei and Sophy are waiting!

??? (Laala): Gotcha (Kashikoma)! I’ll do a full sprint!!! Agh-!

??? (Kuma): Ahh! You bumped into someone! Are you okay, Laala!?

??? (Laala): Owowowow… My forehead hurts… Ah! I found the person I bumped into! I’m really sorry about running into you!! You’re not hurt, are you!?

Choice: I’m fine, don’t worry! / That hurt, what are you doing!?

??? (Laala): Phew, I’m glad you’re not hurt! I’m seriously sorry! From now on I’ll look both ways! Left, clear! Right, clear! Now I can safely dash! Ah, you laughed! Wow, your smile is… Wonderful! That’s a sparkly idol smile right there! 

Laala: I’m Laala, nice to meet you! And your name is…? Player-chan! Gotcha! I’ll remember that from now on! Your coord is really cute! Which brand is it?

(Laala it is literally a recolour of the coord you are wearing right now. I know you’re like 12 but Lordt)

Laala: Really!? You designed it yourself!? That’s so cool~!

Kuma: That’s unbearably amazing! This kid’s a bundle of talent! I’m sensing a lot of idol energy from you, Player! 

Laala: Are you also going to be on PriPara☆Music TV, Player-chan? Ah… You don’t know what that even is?

??? (Mirei): Laala~! What are you so pri-occupied with!?

Laala: Ah, Mirei! Sorry, I’m running late!

??? (Mirei): Ughhh! Sophy’s fell asleep waiting for you!

??? (Sophy): ZzzZzz… Is Laala here yet…?

Laala: Wake up, Sophy!

??? (Sophy): Mm~ Oh, who’s this…?

Laala: This is Player-chan!

Sophy: Player-chan… Cute… I’m Sophy… Nice to meetcha… Pshu~...

Laala: Aah! Sophy, don’t fall asleep!

??? (Mirei): Will you also be making an ap-pri-rance on PriPara☆Music TV as an idol?

Laala: Player-chan doesn’t seem to know about that yet.

??? (Mirei): Huh, really? I can explain it to you, so. It’s my first time seeing you around… Is this your first time in PriPara?

Choice: I debuted today! / I’ve been coming here for a while!

??? (Mirei): You just debuted!? I see… Well, if you get along with your senpai, Mirei, your points will go up!

Sophy: Mirei… what are you mumbling about?

??? (Mirei): Ah, you’re awake!? It’s nothing!? Ahem…

Mirei: Pop, step, get you~! I, Mirei, shall tell you all about PriPara☆Music TV!

Sophy: You’re so nice, Mirei~...

Mirei: PriPara☆Music TV is the prime TV programme in PriPara!

Laala: A lot of idols are featured and they perform PriPara lives on the show!

Mirei: And when you pri-form a live, your rank rises~ They’re organised by the Best 100, Best 50, Best 30… Once you’re at your prime and reach the Best 10, you can enter the Idol☆Grand Prix!

Kuma: Your “pri” puns are unbearable…!

??? (I MISS YOU ALREADY ZUCCHAN): What’s going on? I haven’t seen that person before? Are they aiming for the Idol☆Grand Prix?

Laala: Ah, Dorothy! I’ll introduce you to Player-chan.

??? (I WISH YOU LUCK IN YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS ZUCCHAN): Tension max!

??? (Reona): Relax~

Dorothy: I’m Dorothy West! And this is…

Reona: Reona West. It’s nice to meet you.

Dorothy: Ooh, if you’re aiming for the Idol☆Grand Prix, that makes you our rival, huh? Sion, you think so too, right?

??? (Sion): Indubitably! Rivals are vital to idols! They encourage us to work hard! When our friends encourage us, we can all work harder! 

Sion: Player! I’m Sion! We’re going to get along great!!

Kuma: Dorothy, Reona and Sion make up the team Dressing Pafé!

Sophy: Laala, Mirei and I are Solami♡Smile~

Dorothy: The number of idols wanting to join the Idol☆Grand Prix is rising every day, huh? We’re going to have to work even harder! Right, Reona?

Reona: If you say so, Dorothy.

Laala: Let’s all do our best!

Sion: Ah! Is that…?

Mirei: Who is it?

??? (Aroma): Staaaaaare…

Laala: That’s…

??? (Aroma): Staaaaaaaare…

??? (Mikan): Staaaaaaare~!

Laala: Aroma, Mikan! Come over here~!

Mirei: How long were they pri-occupied with staring at us…

Aroma: My name is Aroma! I am a devil who hath returneth from the darkness!

Mikan: I’m the angel! Mikan! I use my angelic power to grant peace in this world!

Kuma: Those two are Aromageddon! Their gimmick is that they’re an angel and a devil!

Aroma: Gimmick!? Thou filthy pile of cotton… You shall face the power of darkness!

Kuma: Eek! I can’t bear your curses!

Aroma: Thou art Player, correct? I see… Darkness emanates from you. Join me and with the power of darkness we shall conquer this pitiful world!

Mikan: Aroma says she hopes you’ll be friends with her, Player-chan!

Aroma: Ah! Th-that is balderdash! I just felt Player’s darkness and…

Laala: Ahaha! Everyone’s really interested in you, Player-chan! Hm? I can hear a song from somewhere…

???: Ranranrararanranran~

Laala: Ah! It’s coming from up in that tree!

???: Let’s sing together, little birdie~ Teehee, the wind from the Palps is singing too~

Laala: Fuwari! That’s dangerous, get down from there!

Fuwari: I’m oka~y! I’m Fuwari, I’m an idol from Europara! Sing with me~ Ranranrararanranran~

Mirei: She’s really laid-back, huh…

Laala: Well, that’s Fuwari for you! There really are a tonne of idols here, though! And we introduced everyone to Player~! Hey, Player-chan… why don’t you come on PriPara☆Music TV with me!?

Kuma: That’s a good idea! They could appear in the special debut corner!

Sion: That’s the part of the show where recently debuted idols are featured, right?

Mirei: Anyone can enter, so it’s a prime corner!

Laala: Player-chan will definitely be super popular!

Sophy: I think so too~

Mirei: Let’s go then! It’s almost the entry deadline.

Sion: We must hurry! ...Hm? What’s wrong, Player?

Dorothy: Why are you just standing there??

Reona: Player-chan… is that person your friend?

Mikan: It looks like someone’s staring at Player-chan’s coord!

Aroma: Who could this person be!?

??? (Da Vinky): Your coord is wooonderfully wonderful! Did you draw it out yourself? Amazingamazing! This is… an explosion of art! Gyahahahaha!

Dorothy: You scared us! It was just Ajimi-

Ajimi: That’s right! I’m Ajimi! I hope we get cray-on well!

Laala: I’ll introduce you to Ajimi-chan! Ajimi-chan recently debuted too! She’s a super talented pop idol!

Reona: Hey… If we don’t hurry, the entry period for Music TV will be over…

Laala: Oh nooo! We have to hurry!

Ajimi: Huh, huh? You’re going to do a PriPara live in that coord~?

Choice: Yup, I’ll give it a try anyway! / I’m not sure I’m ready yet…

Ajimi: Gyahaha! That’s the spirit! I can feel it, I can feel it! Your sparkling aura’s gonna explode on stage!

Laala: I also can’t wait to see your live!

Mirei: This is your touching off point!

Sophy: I’ll be cheering for you~... Lets PriPara~

Laala: Let’s get you into the special debut corner! PriPara☆Music TV… On air start!

(Live. Finally a break from this chapter. Oh my god is it killing me.)

Laala: Woah! Look, Player-chan! Your rank went way up!

Ajimi: Your live was super explosive! Everyone loved it!

Mirei: Your debut was a pri-tty huge success!

Sophy: ‘Grats~ Your live was wonderful~...

Sion: That live was a once in a lifetime experience! Today was the birth of an idol whose growth we can look forward to!

Dorothy: Are you really gonna go for the Idol☆Grand Prix??

Reona: If you work hard, you really could become No. 1~

Sion: Why not try to climb the ranks of PriPara☆Music TV?

Reona: Once you’re in the Best 10, you can enter the Grand Prix.

Fuwari: Entering the Grand Prix is very idol’s dream~ And if you win, you get the legendary coord…

Mikan: ...the Idol☆Grand Prix No. 1 Coord!It’s a wonderful coord!

Mirei: The name’s… descriptive…

Ajimi: The Idol☆Grand Prix No. 1 Coord…? Hmhmhmhm!? What is that coord?

Aroma: It is a coord that unlocks the power of darkness within you…

Dorothy: That’s complete bullshit, the No. 1 idol who gets the Grand Prix coord…

Reona: ...can appear on many stages!

Laala: If they can do that, they’d get a tonne of fans who they could make smile! That’s wonderful! That’s why us idols are working so hard to get that coord! Player-chan, work hard along with the rest of us, okay?

Ajimi: Oooh, that’s great! A huge explosion of smiles!!! I’ll also enter the Grand Prix with Player! Let’s Gaugin!

Sion: The path to the Grand Prix is not an easy one.

Laala: First of all, you’ll have to be in a lot of TV shows. Player-chan, Ajimi-chan, enjoy PriPra-life! Oh, actually, wait a sec. To mark our friendship going forward… let’s snap tomotickets! I wish that we’re all able to enter the Grand Prix… snap! Let’s do our best together!

(oh my god i thought that would take like 10 minutes. It probably took upwards of an HOUR why was it that longggg jesussss

ANYWAY once again i will subtly hint that if anyone needs help sourcing this game or just needs help navigating menus, hmu. and i would like to apologise for changing kashikoma... it truly pains me to betray laala like this. also if this ISNT the first pripara 3ds game um. please let me know lmao. also yes i am posting this at 6am)