#anyways i like this game but i have SO many gripes about random shit like this thats bad

[leezuhh]

the xenophobia in genshin is crazyyy 😭

[burkymakar]

Alex Newhook Imagine: gratitude

Summary: Your dad works as an equipment manager for the Avalanche, and invites players to stay for Thanksgiving dinner. With the games bookending the holiday, a lot more Avalanche players are attending.  At first annoyed, you can’t help but connect to one player, Alex Newhook. Maybe this holiday dinner will be fun after all.

Word Count: 4.5k

Note: Female OC. Inspired by Ted Lasso’s “Carol of the Bells”. In this, you are Donny White’s college-aged daughter so have fun with that lol. This was supposed to be released before Thanksgiving not before *checks watch* New Year’s. Oops.

Donate

Alex Newhook’s original plan was to spend American Thanksgiving with his girlfriend’s family in Boston, but when they broke up before the season, he didn’t really consider a replacement plan. He had fun Cup celebrations to experience, and then the season to prepare for. 

Suddenly, it was mid-November and he was about to spend Thanksgiving alone.

That worried his mom, even though they were Canadian. Paula would wring her hands on FaceTime calls and be abuzz with maternal panic about him being all alone with nothing in the Colorado cold. She tried to get him to fly to Newfoundland but he didn’t see the point in adding a three and a half hour excursion to his jetlag, even if he did miss his folks. Especially since they had to play the Canucks the day before Thanksgiving and then fly to Nashville the day after only to fly back to Colorado. 

The people in charge of NHL scheduling should be shot.

He and Bowen Byram were doing laps at their apartment complex pool since Denver was getting a random day of heat before the cold snap coming. After pushing out of the pool, Alex lamented to his buddy about this bullshit. 

“Oh dude, just go to Whitey’s thing,” he said, shaking out his hair like a golden retriever. “Don’t you remember? He invited everybody. Just text him.” 

“Are you going?” Alex toweled off before sitting with him on the lounge chairs. 

“Yeah, probably. Kails has to study for finals back in Van, and I didn’t want to fly out so I told Donny I’d go. You should come. Val said it’s fun.” 

“Val goes?”

“Yeah, I think he’s a regular, he takes his wife when she’s in town. EJ’s going for dessert,” Bo said. “Frankie takes his family, including Kauter, and Georgie said he wanted to stop by since his girlfriend is back in Finland.” 

“Okay, yeah, I’ll text Donny,” Alex said, and hopefully his mom would be assuaged.

+

You hated making pie crust, it was such a pain in the ass. Every ingredient had to be at the exact right temperature mixed the exact right way. 

But you heard from your dad that some Avalanche players could attend your family’s big Thanksgiving event, and that meant more effort. And gluten-free pie.

Back from college, you were kind of annoyed your family holiday was going to be overrun with sweaty hockey boys. Your dad even said more players than ever were going to be there this year. 

It was a typical experience for most of your childhood. Your dad, Donny White, had been working with the Avalanche organization your entire life. You spent so many nights growing up going to games and hanging out in the locker rooms and playing street hockey with the players or their kids. 

Now in your last year of college, it no longer had the same glamor it once did. They were just some guys.

You had bigger things to worry about, like your upcoming finals. And this damn pie.

“Gluten-free pie should be illegal,” You griped to your younger brother DJ, a senior in high school. 

He snickered, “We should make the good shit anyway, I bet they’d be thrilled.” “I heard that.” Your mother called from the living room, vacuuming off dog hair from the sofa. “These guys are your father’s coworkers, be respectful. No swearing tonight.” “They swear on the ice,” DJ whined. 

“And they don’t swear at the dinner table,” she said primly. 

You shared a wary look with your brother but kept your mouth shut. After the pie was done and you had showered, dinner was still two hours out. Your dad and DJ were picking up your grandfather from his retirement home. Your other brothers Jimmy and Freddy were playing Mario Kart, and you were trying to fix your hair. It was dry but not styled, and then the doorbell started ring.

“Y/N, you gotta get it!” Jimmy called to you. 

“You get it!”

“No, you get it I’m about to kill Freddy!” 

“Shit, fine,” You huff and run downstairs. Your hair is still a mess and you’re in your towel and bath robe that’s covered in cartoon pickles (a gag gift from DJ several birthdays ago) and you swing open the door, not sure who you expect to see on the other side. 

Whoever it was, you certainly didn’t expect Alex Newhook. 

He stood there politely, his eyes only flitting down briefly to see your outfit before locking eyes with you. He wore a nice outfit, a good sweater, jacket, and a black hat that wasn’t a baseball cap. He looked very dapper and cute. “Hey, uh, is Whitey, I mean Donny, here? I’m Alex.”

Your face burned with a blush but you stayed composed enough to tighten your pickle bath robe. 

“Uh, hi,” You greeted. “I’m Y/N, and no he went to pick up his dad. My grandfather, I guess.” Sentences seemed so much harder for some reason. It didn’t help that Alex Newhook was cute as hell, but it was probably just because you felt caught off guard.

“Oh, am I early?” He looked around. 

“Yeah a bit, we weren’t expecting people until 5ish,” You said.

“Shit, sorry, Bo told me 4, not 5,” he said, grabbing for his phone. He cleared his throat. “Um, I can leave-”

“You’re already here,” You pointed out needlessly. He was already here, no need to make him drive again. “And it’s kinda cold, so come in.”

He stepped inside and looked around as he shucked off his jacket. “Nice house.”

“Thanks,” You said, even though you had nothing to do with it. “My mom’s getting ready, and Dad’s out.” You did not want him to follow you upstairs. Wait, you could pawn him off on your brothers. “Let me introduce you to everyone.” 

You walked him to the living room where they were playing Mario Kart loudly.

“Hey, pause it,” You said. They ignored you, so you turned off the console.

They immediately burst into an uproar but you were used to that.

“This is Alex Newhook,” You introduced. “Alex, these are my brothers, Jimmy and Freddy.”

“Wait, you won the Stanley Cup!” Jimmy said, sitting up a bit. He was the one most interested in hockey in your family besides your dad. “Wow, that’s so cool.” 

“Thanks, man,” Alex sat down next to him. “Your dad was really helpful with the run.”

Freddy didn’t care. “Do you like Mario Kart?” “Heck yeah.”

Since he seemed to be fine, you quickly snuck back to your room. You didn’t want to be babysitting a hockey player anyway.

+

Alex Newhook was abandoned by the cute girl wearing pickles with two pre-teens. Well, he liked kids so he wasn’t too put off. 

“Who do you drive as?” One of the brothers, he didn’t really get a chance to differentiate them, asked.

“I usually do Yoshi. When I play with my sister, she’s always Peach.”

“Y/N is always Peach too,” the smaller brother said. “I’m always Toad, and Jimmy is Luigi. DJ is always Mario ‘cause he’s the oldest.”

“Makes sense,” Alex said, committing to memory that the small one was Freddy and the taller one was Jimmy. “Can I play?”

“Sure!” They gave him a controller and got him set up.

Some time later, he’d gotten his ass thoroughly beat in Mario Kart twice before Y/N came down again. Now, she was wearing a nice sweater with black jeans. Your legs were really long and he should not be staring at the daughter of an equipment manager’s legs like this.

“Y/N, come join us!”

“I told Mom I’d help with the mashed potatoes,” You said. “But it looks like you’re having fun with Alex.”

“He’s awful,” Freddy said.

Alex laughed as you turned to him, eyebrow raised. 

“You don’t have to let them win, you know.” 

“I’m not,” he admitted, and Y/N finally smiled. It was a really pretty smile.

“Well, then you guys should let Alex win.”

“He already won the Stanley Cup,” Freddy whined. 

Alex choked on a laugh, “Fair, totally fair.” 

+

You were about to head back to the kitchen when a new voice called.

“Are you two still playing Mario Kart-” Your mom came down the stairs while putting in an earring. She paused at the foot of the stairs and noticed the four of you. “Oh, hello Alex.”

He looked unnerved but still charming. “Hello, Mrs. White.”

“Alex got told the wrong time,” You interjected before your mom asked for answers. “So I had the boys keep him company.”

“Oh, good. Well I’m sorry Alex, but I’m glad you made it!” She continued. “I’m Carol, Donny’s wife. Do you need anything, water, food?”

“I’m all set, thank you, Mrs. White.” 

“Carol is fine,” she waved a hand to dismiss his formality. “This won’t be some crazy strict dinner. I’m just a bit thrown, we’ve never had so many people from the team attend! Y/N, can you please help with the mashed potatoes?”

“Yeah, of course.” You walked over to the kitchen and went to get started.

“Can I help at all? I’m not much of a cook but I’m good at chopping.”

You went to deflect but your mom interjected, “Oh, that would be so helpful! Why don’t you help Y/N peel the potatoes.”

“Are the boys not going to help at all?” You asked.

“DJ is in charge of the green beans,” your mom said. “But J and F would just make a mess and we can’t have that.” 

You rolled your eyes but you did agree. They were still pretty young to be given kitchen responsibilities, especially since your mom was clearly nervous about all the people attending. Apparently, the Captain Landeskog and the good defenseman Cale were coming after dinner, bringing their families. So was EJ, who always snuck you candy when you were growing up, and the two Czech players.

But for the dinner, there was the new goalie, Valeri Nichushkin, the other rookie, and the new guy. You only knew Val’s name because he’s attended the past two Thanksgivings. That’s a lot of important people your dad works with, so you wanted to help.

You didn’t really like having a sous chef, and was afraid Alex would be underfoot. But he was actually really helpful. You were able to chat. He was about your age and also went to college, but had dropped out of his sophomore year, but commiserated with you about the experience and finals, and asked about you instead of just talking about himself.

“Do you think you’ll go back to school at some point?” You asked as you started on the sweet potatoes. To accommodate the healthy, they were having both mashed regular potatoes and mashed sweet potatoes which meant so much peeling and two burners for boiling the taters. 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m really happy doing hockey right now and it needs all my focus. But I liked college. My old teammate, Jack Johnson, went back to school and graduated this year. He’s, like, ancient so I might do that later on.”

“Always good to have the option,” You agreed and let the potatoes boil so they could soften. You started mixing half and half, butter, cream cheese and garlic in a large saucepan and put it on a low simmer.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s the mix I use thicken up the mashed potatoes and make them creamy,” You rolled your head side to side to relax your neck. “Better if it’s warm.” He nodded. “Thanks for the help.”

“Of course, thanks for having me,” he smiled and it was a really cute smile. 

Thankfully, before you could dwell on it, he went back to your kid brothers, and your dad and other brother came by with your grandfather. The last half hour before the party was a fervent rush to find seating, set up the candles, make sure there was no evidence of living in this house. 

Eventually, people started showing up. First was Evan Rodrigues, his wife Christina and his kids Grayson and Noah. They were younger than your youngest brother, but they got on immediately, giggling and laughing and running around in the backyard even with the slight chill in the air. 

Christina brought some gluten free rolls and really nice bottles of wine, and Evan and your dad immediately went off to the TV to watch the game, talking about their fantasy football teams. 

Alexandar Georgiev, the new goalie, arrived soon after. He also brought wine and a really nice bottle of vodka for “if we party.” You loved him already.

Then Bowen Byram came, bringing two store bought apple pies and flowers for your mom. Your dad had mentioned he was injured, but he looked fine walking around. But you weren’t an expert.

“You told me the wrong time, idiot,” Newy lightly elbowed him and you bit back a smile.

Bowen huffed. “My finger slipped, di-uhhhhhhh dude,” his friend avoided swearing even though all young ears were outside.

“Well, Alex was really helpful,” You offered as you potted the flowers for your mom since she was busy plating the food with Christine. 

“Was he now?” Bowen raised his eyebrows at Alex, so Alex elbowed him with more heft this time. 

“We wanna play Nerf!” Jimmy ran back in with the other kids trailing on his heels. “Y/N, can we play Nerf?”

“Ask mom, go away,” You said. “I have to finish the potatoes and make whipped cream.” Also this was a really cute outfit and you didn’t want it to get ruined.

“Please!” Freddy whined. “You’ve been in the kitchen for-evvvvvvveerrrrrrrr.” Impressive how many syllables he made that word. Alex and Bowen just snorted. 

“I gotta keep cooking because you’d find a way to burn the whipped cream.”

Apparently not too heartbroken, they immediately turned to Alex and Bowen. “Please, Newy and Bo, please!” 

The two young hockey players readily agreed. “But you guys better have weapons, I left mine back in Canada,” Alex said, and they ran upstairs, a stampede of boys.

“I guess what they say about hockey players just being tall boys is true,” You mused aloud as you head back to the kitchen. 

 Christine laughed as you “Oh trust me, if you’re lucky, that’s the case,” she said. “Also, Nerfs are fun, Grayson adores them.” 

Before you could reply, the stampede came back down again, this time armed with plastic toy weapons and cackling with gleeful laughter. 

“Take those downstairs, I don’t want any darts on the first floor!” Your mom called, and you were taken back to your childhood in a very sweet way as the four of you ran around playing and laughing.

Smiling to yourself, you finished your mashed potatoes and went to get started on the whipped cream, but the doorbell rang.

You went to grab it, because a football-obsessed cheer and groan reverberated from the living room. 

“Sorry for late. I stop by Russian bakery and grab Kartoshka,” Valeri held up a box. 

“All good,” You assured. “Come on in. Everyone’s watching football.”

He nodded and followed you into the kitchen where he greeted your mom. 

“Hello,” he greeted and set the box down. “I go watch football.”

“Sounds good,” You said and got the whipped cream put together. You made it the best in your entire family.

That should be the last of the interruptions. You went to go put out some more snacks in the living room but heard raucous laughter before getting hit with a dart on your shoulder blade.

You whipped around and saw Alex and Jimmy behind you, frozen in guilt but weapons still raised. The rest of the herd of boys stormed up after, promptly 

A Nerf dart laid at your feet. 

“Sorry, Y/N,” Alex said. It looked like he meant it but he was also about to laugh, the giggles pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“Can I borrow that?” You asked Jimmy.

Since Jimmy adored you, he handed you the Nerf gun.

You stepped back a bit since you weren’t a total bitch, and shot Alex Newhook dead center. 

+

Alex Newhook admired how Y/N just immediately gave it back instead of complaining, not moving as the dart hit him and bounced off his chest. Once it hit the floor, he dramatically grabbed at his heart and staggered backwards. “Ah, I’ve been hit! Write sonnets about my bravery!” Then he collapsed on a heap to the floor. 

He heard Y/N’s voice amongst the laughter of all the boys before Mrs. White called out, “Dinner’s ready! Everyone to the dining room.”

“C’mon, drama queen,” Bowen helped him up. “We’ll write songs to you later.”

There were all these little name cards set up. There were five seats at the kid’s table, including DJ who joined the Nerf battle late. 

But Alex was sitting next to you. 

There were a lot of people, so everyone was all scrunched up. His thigh often found itself resting against yours, but you never pulled away so he didn’t either. The conversations were lively, jumping around the Denver housing market and football and TV shows. Mrs. White nixed all talk of hockey, saying it was a holiday and therefore a vacation. But the conversation never dwindled. 

Val was on Y/N’s other side, and he watched as you made a concerted effort to include him and speak slowly enough he could understand. He joined those conversations when he could, but also talked to Erod about the culture shock of moving to Denver and going from college hockey to NHL hockey.

The food was delicious, but he made sure to not eat so much with the game the next day. But he did have some of the apple pie (it’s a FRUIT) with your whipped cream. Holy hell it was good.

Bo and Val didn’t have the worry of playing tomorrow, the injured bastards, and they had two servings of dessert. Once they were full-contact, he was going to hit them into the boards during their practices.

The kids table seemed like they were having fun. Once the food coma took over, all the kids piled into the living room as the others arrived. 

Gabe Landeskog gave Y/N a big hug, and you got to hug Luke and pinch his cheeks as Linnea practically climbed up his own leg. He had no idea how you knew everybody. 

EJ arrived a bit later, carrying three bottles of Screaming Eagle. Like the captain, he gave you a hug and joked about your height. Cale came by with his girlfriend shortly after. He loved talking to her, she was always kind. Cale was quiet and respectful, but he and Donny got into an in-depth discussion on which quarterback they should start for fantasy.

Frankie ended up texting they weren’t going to make it but he sends his best. 

The conversations continued and split and converged. More dessert was eaten. Some of the kids curled up in the guest bedroom to nap. Georgiev and Val spoke in Russian, but joined the others as well. Carol, Gabe, and DJ spoke about the latest episode of White Lotus. Mel, EJ, Christine, and Bo talked about the price differences of wine. 

You and Alex spoke mostly about crazy college courses you took, and weird essay topics you had to write. Cale jumped in at that point, discussing his own essays. 

It was fun to be involved in the convos, even though the topics seemed kind of distant. They spoke of dating and moving and trades, and the housing market (again?!). He was single and in the same apartment complex the team had provided for him. 

Just when Alex thought he should maybe get going and not overstay his welcome, you turned to him. “C’mon, we’ll go to the kids table and go to our next tradition.”

“What’s that?” He asked, the two of you breaking off from the conversation. 

“We play hide and seek,” You said. “It’s cutthroat. You may not survive.”

He grinned, sated and full but always down to compete. “Sounds fun.” He turned to Bo. “Wanna play?”

“Hell yeah.” 

Alex, Y/N, Bo, and DJ snuck off to see the kids watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. “C’mon, kiddos,” Y/N muted the show. “We’re gonna play Hide and Seek. Wanna play?”

The kids perked up. Linnea and Luke were already asleep, as was Noah, but Grayson was ready to play even though he was younger than 5.  

Y/N knelt down to their seated level. “Okay, we got some rules though. You all willing to play by the rules?” The kids nodded ever so seriously. Alex couldn’t help but grin. 

“You guys playing Hide and Seek again?” EJ came by. “I wanna play.”

“You don’t play by the rules,” Y/N said. 

EJ wrapped you in a bear hug and a weird, sudden stab of jealousy sliced at Alex that he immediately pushed down. That came out of nowhere. Besides, you were, like, ten years younger than the big defenseman.

“I’ll behave I swear.” 

“Doubt it,” Alex and Bo muttered at the same time before they all shared a laugh.

“Here are the rules,” Y/N began, your voice commanding but kind for all the kids. “You can hide anywhere in the house except a bedroom. If a room has a bed in it, you can’t hide there. No locking doors, you hide fair and square. No moving spots once the five minutes has passed. The seeker has to wait five minutes before taking off to find people. Once you’re found by the seeker, you join them in the search. If you’re found last or not found within an hour, you win and the winner gets ice cream.”

“Who’s the seeker?” Bo asked.

“EJ should do it, he’s the oldest,” DJ said. 

“Works for me, I’m too tall to fit where you kiddos can,” EJ said. 

“And you broke our cabinet last year,” Y/N added. Alex laughed in shock.

“Accidentally,” he clarified then paused. “Hey wait, as the seeker don’t I get ice cream?” “You can get ice cream,” You placated.

“We probably don’t need it,” Alex said. “Game tomorrow, bud.” 

EJ groaned. “Ugh fair, I’m taking mine to go.” He pulled out his phone and set up a five minute timer. “And... go!” 

And everyone took off. 

+

You booked it down to the basement, the smartest place to hide. You couldn’t hide in the guest bedroom as per rules, but you could hide in the large steam shower in the bathroom. With the lights off, you’d be nothing more than a shadow. And maybe people would dismiss it as being close to the bedroom. Most people went for cabinets and closets. Jimmy usually hid in the DVD and board game closet on the first floor. But you tried to change it up. Last year, you hid under a stack of blankets in the laundry room and were only found because your Duolingo notification happened when your dad was the seeker. 

To make sure you’d stay in the dark, you quickly undid the three light bulbs and hid them in the 

You put your phone on it’s darkest brightness and sat with your back against the wall with the door on it so you wouldn’t be seen. You knew from course reading that people looked for eyes in the darkness so you used that to your advantage. 

Just as you felt settled you found the perfect spot and that EJ would be too stupid to find you as the minutes counted down, the door burst open before shutting quickly. You closed your phone, and tried to quiet your breathing.

The lightswitch flicked on and off uselessly and the sauna door opened. 

Alex Newhook peeked his head in and went to make a sound. Acting on pure instinct, you slapped your hand over his mouth and pulled him into the steam shower. 

“Hi,” he said once you removed your hand. His smile was lazy and good-natured. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“Hide and Seek is serious,” You said, slightly sheepish. “You’ll have to hide with me, we’re almost out of time.”

“Works with me.” He sat across from you. There was less than three feet between you so the whisper carried. “Smart move to take out the bulbs, you’re ruthless.”

You smiled at him then realized he probably couldn’t see you. “Thanks.”

His low chuckle was bright in the darkness. 

“Do you think EJ is gonna cheat?” You found yourself asking.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Alex acknowledged. “He’s a competitive bastard. We all are.” 

“Probably best in your line of work,” You acknowledged back. In the distance, there was maniacal laughter and one of your brothers shouting “NO!” dejectedly. You went quiet, and so did Alex.

Once the noise quieted down, you pulled out your phone with the brightness still low and checked Instagram. Your college roommate sent you a ridiculous AITA post so you chuckled as you read it.

“What’s so funny?” 

“An ‘Am I The Asshole’ about this 100,000 dollar wedding dress getting destroyed for a TikTok.”

His laugh was shocked and quick. “Holy shit, can I see?”

You nodded and he moved over to sit next to you on the bench. He read over your shoulder, and you watched his reaction in the faint glow of your phone screen. 

He turned to you, “That was funny-” and then cut off as your faces bumped into each other. 

“It was,” You whispered, not just because of the game. 

Not exactly sure who made the first move, you both leaned forward and met in the middle. The kiss was sudden but deep and you quickly clutched onto his sweater as his hand cupped your jaw. His hand was big, sturdy and warm as it gently held you to him.

Your fingers tightened on his sweater and he pulled you closer. Without thinking, you climbed onto his lap and his other hand moved to your hip as a low groan rumbled from his throat.

The door to the steam shower slammed open, and you and Alex pulled apart.

Erik Johnson stared at the two of you as you froze in fear, and then he snorted. “Oh boy, you’re dead, Al.” His laugh followed him out of the room, shutting the door to the bathroom behind him.

“Well, we were found.” Alex pointed out slowly. “So I guess we lost. Which may not be the only thing I lose tonight if he’s right.” 

You tried not to laugh. EJ maybe had a point. Your dad could kill him for making out with his daughter at their Thanksgiving party, but he wasn’t one of those shotgun dads. He knew you were an adult, a woman with bodily autonomy. 

“I wasn’t that interested in playing the game anymore,” You said.

“Me neither,” he said and kissed you again.

Note: thank you for reading! masterlist here!

[rawliverandgoronspice]

god i felt like i was losing it seeing everyone praise totk's story as better than botw! mostly i'm just frustrated that botw gets so much shit for its story when imo it's one of the most compelling stories in the franchise! just because a story isn't ~epic~ with bombastic music 24/7 doesn't make it bad :/ anyways thanks for your post about totk's story its nice to know i'm not alone :')

Haha no problem! I relate to the frustration so I'm glad to help in that regard!

I think BotW's strength is how coherent its proposition is overall: it makes sense in this story that everything would be open, the world is fractured and faded and it's up to you to pull the pieces back together, or to ignore this and focus on your task. It's a game about reclaiming the land from a disaster and injecting meaning back into it, and I think it does wonders in that aspect. I have some issues with some of the game writing at a craft level (and I've never been sold on the idea that Zelda needed voice acting also, I think it shows the writing's limitations and always feels somewhat awkward and low-grade anime to me but that's another subject and my own opinion), but Zelda's character works really well, and the story is tragic and hopeful at once, which makes the world more believable and engaging in my opinion.

I'm warming up to the sidequests in TotK, I think some of them are pretty good! But it bugs me that you have to get out of your way to get any sort of emotional investment from the game, and I'm bothered that I feel more emotions for a random 20 minutes series of tasks than for the main quest where all the budget has been sunk (also a lot of it is poorly designed; that's a LOT of back-and-forth you're asking me to do for no good reason, game). I think this gripe is my own experience speaking, but I seriously wish companies in the modern age would stop being so precious and cagey about their main quests and dare show heart and take emotional risks --even though I know how difficult that can be in practice given how many eyes and hands are on the damn thing at any given time. Gamedevs call working on a main quest "being caught in the eye of Sauron", because it's exactly how it feels like and it's an almost universally awful experience --and maybe it's just projection on my part, but TotK's main quest really gives off that exhausted, sanitized vibe and this is partially why I have trouble enjoying it overall.

[ozzdog12]

2020 Top 7 (and 1)

2020 am I right? We saw an insane amount of games come out and 2 brand new consoles. What a wild and weird year for gaming, and life in general. In case you are relatively new here, and to be honest that would be completely fair considering I don't post very often on Tumblr anymore, every year going on the last 4 years (on here) I have done a Top 7 (& 1) for my favorite videogames of the year. Check out 2019, 2018, & 2017. What’s wild, as I look back on my list of games that I’ve completed and played, only maybe 10 came out this year. 2020 was a huge backlog year. 

Lets get on with the ‘And 1!”

Favorite Game that Didn’t Come out in 2020: Control (PS4)

Control may very well have been my 2019 Game of the Year, had I played it in 2019. I LOVED Control. I wanted to play it in 2019, but initial reports that it was a little rough on base consoles put me off until it was fixed. And Holy smokes what an insanely fun and trippy game once I finally started it. I knew within the first 20 minutes this was going to be the shit when I went down a hall, walked into a room and talked to the “janitor” left out a door behind him and the entire building had shifted. I’ve always liked Remedy games, but from a distance. Max Payne 1&2 and Alan Wake all oozed with weirdness and intrigue, but never enough for me to finish them. I missed out on Quantum Break. The story is Control is just the right amount of mind f*!$ for me and builds a universe I didn’t know I needed. It take some time to piece everything together, then everything just clicks. The game does have a weird difficulty spike when fighting bosses and the checkpoints were too far apart at times, but those were later patched. I spent an insane amount of time within the Federal Bureau of Control building and even more time after that with the Foundation and AWE DLC and it STILL wasn’t enough. I wanted more. Outside of Prey, I can’t think of another game that stuck in my brain more after I’d finished it. Control is absolutely a MUST PLAY title. In a world where everything sort’ve feels similar, Control stands out of the crowd.

Number 7: Astro’s Playroom (PS5)

I never thought in my wildest dreams that a game I had almost zero interest in playing would end up on my list of favorite games this year. Astro’s Playroom is being labeled as a ‘Tech demo’ but that feels like an insult to what it is. It’s a full fledged game and its free! I’ve paid more for less. A charming little platformer that lives and breathes the history of the Playstation. So many cool Easter eggs and references. It certainly centers its gameplay around the DualSense controller and everything it can do, but at its core, its a completely approachable and forgiving 3D platformer. I played it just to see what it was about, next thing i knew I had completed all the levels and wanted to further explore all the nooks and crannies within the game. I wanted to see everything the game had to offer and I had an absolute blast doing so. Makes me kinda wish I’d played the previous game on PSVR (I’d have to have a PSVR too)

Number 6: Spider-Man: Miles Morales (PS5)

Another quality title, albeit a spin-off, from Insomniac to add to their Spider Man universe. Gameplay felt obviously like Spider-Man, but Miles has unique abilities that made the game feel different enough, especially the cloak and stealth. I enjoyed the fact that it was short and concise. The issue with most ‘open-world’ games is that they are entirely too bloated with unnecessary filler content (I’ll get to that in a later game), something I felt the first game suffered from, but I also understand why they are there. However I could’ve use one or two more story missions to help flesh out some characters, but it wasn’t required and didn’t change my opinion one way or the other. My one BIG gripe was with Miles himself. He is an extremely smart young kid, but so incredibly naïve. Peter Parker tells him the one thing he SHOULD NOT do is tell people he is Spider-Man. I get it, that’s part of his growth, but Miles thinks he can just solve his problems by revealing his identity and it almost certainly never works out. 

Number 5: The Last of Us: Part 2 (PS4)

The Last of Us Part 2 may be the most polarizing game in the history of the medium, but for the absolute wrong reasons. I’m in the minority that I very much enjoyed my experience with TLOU2, quite a bit actually. Its better in every single way over its predecessor, except the overall story. There are plenty of fair criticisms to be had about the story and various things within the game itself, but I thought the gameplay was so tight and crunchy. There were genuine moments of suspense and terror that I felt that no other game has ever given me. The entire hospital section (2nd time) was so susensful, I had to put my controller down to gther myself. Some of my favorite moments in the series I experienced with a character I wasn’t overly fond of. How many games can do that? The Last of Us Part 2 was meant to invoke emotion, not necessarily joy. I think that's what people lost along the way. Say what you will about the direction Naughty Dog has taken over the years, but you would be hard pressed to find a studio that makes games graphically better than they do. Yes, I know about their crunch culture, but this is not a place for that. I will say, the game was a tad bit too long, which is not something it typically say for a single player, narrative driven game. The pacing and the way the story was told wasn’t my favorite, but I respect what it was trying to do, even if it failed in some aspect of that, I finished the game within the week it was released. Something I RARELY ever do. I’m a father and I related with Joel a lot in TLOU, but I also recognized how wrong he was. There is a lesson to be learned. Your actions always have consequences and while he was doing what he thought was the right thing, it wasn’t his choice to make, and in doing so set up a series of events that were entirely avoidable, but again, that’s the point isn’t it?

Number 4: Grindstone (Switch)

I’m counting this as a 2020 game since it just came to the Switch this year ( less than a month ago) but its not the first time I’ve played it. Grindstone was the only reason I kept my Apple Arcade subscription and when I let it lapse, there was a void I just couldn’t fill. I bought Puzzle Quest on Switch but it just wasn't the same. Its THE perfect game for bite sized play, even though in its addictive nature, you’ll clear a few levels and an hour has passed before you know it. It has the perfect amount of depth that most ‘match’ games don't. You have different weapons, items, and outfits w/perks to use and experiment with to keep it fresh. I went months without playing my Switch and when this was announced in August, I couldn’t wait! Sadly, I had to wait 3 months, but since then I have spent so much time on the Switch. It gave me a reason to play it again. The art style and humour is great. The variety of enemies and challenge is just right. I can’t recommend it enough. Seriously, check this game out!

Number 3: Doom Eternal (Xbox One)

I will be the first to tell you, I did not like Doom (2016). I found it extremely boring and trite. I understood what Doom(2016) was doing and it succeeded, maybe too much. Nostalgia is a helluva thing. So in saying that, I was mildly interested in Doom Eternal. Doom Eternal is nothing like 2016 outside of it being a Doom game that connects to the rest of them (& also being a sequel to 2016). The mechanics are drastically different with more platforming (for better or worse). Eternal is challenging, at times very hard, especially early on. Eternal has no respect for its players, in a weirdly good way. It laughs at how you’ve played FPS before this one and WILL MAKE you play it its way, not your way. Yes, you point and shoot, but ammo is scare and you MUST use everything in your arsenal. No more using just 2 guns for the whole game. The enemies are relentless. Sometimes you have to pause and take a breath after a battle because you go a 100 mph for the whole fight. You have to continuously move or you die. There is an enticing rhythm to it. I categorize Eternal as ‘Blood Ballet’. Its a game where when your feeling it, much like a rhythm game, you get in the zone and there is no stopping demons from getting slayed. Surprisingly, unlike most games in the genre, it seemed to get easier (sans one extremely frustrating platforming section late in the game) the longer you played it. Was that a testament that I ‘learned’ the Eternal way or it truly did get easier? I don’t know, but the final Boss(es) were....easy.. I had more problems and deaths within the first 4 hours than I did the final 8-9 hours. The multiplayer was also surprisingly fun. The older I get, the less interested I am in multiplayer, but I found myself coming back for more for a good month or so. 

Number 2: Gears Tactics (Xbox One)

As 2020 comes to a close, I came to a stunning realization. I might be a bigger Gears of War fan than I had previously thought. Don’t get me wrong. I love Gears, but I seem to love Gears more than I thought. I'm way more invested into the lore than I recall. Anyways, Gears Tactics is everything XCOM 2 SHOULD’VE been. Not only does Gears Tactics utilize the Overwatch action, its makes it EXTREMELY important. The story revolves around the father of Kait Diaz, Gabe and a ragtag group of mostly random soldiers to take down Ukkon. Anyone who is remotely interested in the Gears universe will love the story and references. The gameplay is just so damn satisfying. The bosses are very challenging and different. I actually had to change my strategy to finish the final boss. I experimented with a totally different style of class and was rewarded for it. The post game stuff is also aplenty. This game scratched a VERY specific itch for me and I’m itchy to jump back in. I’m glad this came to Xbox One because I’m current computer could not run it.

Number 1: Ghost of Tsushima (PS4)

I have a very odd relationship with massive open world games. I love them, but I get very burnt out on them. They all have a relatively same-y formula and are often populated with bloat. GoT does have some of that but to its advantage, its not very populated, in a good way. One of the things that I really appreciated about GoT and its side quest is most of them felt meaningful. The thing that really stood out to me about GoT is the absolutely satisfying combat. It just feels SO GOOD. It requires timing and patience. There are different fighting styles for different enemies and even the armor you wear is more than just cosmetic. The combat is so fun and satisfying that I was immediately excited when they announced Legends, a multiplayer add on, for free. Its so much fun and is a blast to play with a group of friends. I’m sporadically still playing the Legends mode. I initially wanted to play the game in ‘Kurosawa’ mode but I am glad I didn’t because the game, even on the PS4 is stunning, and on the upgrade on PS5 is jaw-droppingly smooth. I did play the entire game in Japanese with English subtitles. I still don't know what Jin’s English voice sounds like. GoT does a good job a drip feeding you new abilities and things to keep things fresh. I love stealth and once I unlocked it, I spent the majority of every battle taking out as many enemies as I could while in stealth mode. Ghost of Tsushima does a lot of things very well, that the few things it doesn’t can be easily overlooked.

[bigskydreaming]

Tarn the Uncaring and his Locus Vile remain creepy as fuck, but I can’t help but feel that this Hellions issue would be a lot more impactful if we had any clue whatsoever what Tarn and his ick squad’s powers actually are. Its the same gripe I have with the last Wolverine issue and that Arakki pirate guy......I feel like the writers are making all these new Arakki characters but aren’t bothering to figure out what they can even do beyond just make them look bad-ass or intimidating or whatever and just be vague as to their actual capabilities.

For the most part its not a big deal, but I do think sooner rather than later we do need an ACTUAL clue about what the hell Tarn and the rest of the Great Ring’s powers are, given that its been well established that the Arakki ONLY let omega level mutants sit on their ruling council, so like......I think they should have bothered figuring out what the Great Ring’s powersets are before introducing them at least, and I feel like a big reason for the vagueness is that so far....even the writers only have the vaguest idea about what most of them can do. I mean, the only ones we know for sure are Isca and Lactuna or whatever her name is....and we have a reasonable sense of what the fish dude’s powers are and they’re fairly epic....and Idyll’s powers obviously are precognition related, so....okay y’know what, I take it back. 

Of the Great Ring, the only ones we don’t really have a sense of are Tarn and the other random dude whose name I forget, and Tarn’s obviously have something to do with genetics/power manipulation.....but every time I see that giant caterpillar mutant, Xili or whatever his name is, I’m just like....okay we saw him in action but I still don’t get how his power works even a little bit.

Anyway, Hellions was an interesting issue, I enjoy seeing Sinister’s fuck-ups come back home to roost and all the Hellions finding out just how badly he screwed them on the Amenth mission, and I am intrigued by the mention of Chimera towards the end of the issue. I’m guessing all of this is building up to the reveal of Sinister’s first experiments in creating the triple-powered mutants we saw in Powers of X a hundred years in the future - and that series did mention that the first Chimera were ‘grown’ in the Vats of Mars, which is now Arakko, home of.....the people Sinister just admitted to stealing the DNA from to create these Chimera. So it all fits. 

What I’m curious about is how much of this is just leading up to the same events that already played out in Moira’s last failed lifetime, versus how much things are going differently this time around. Like, we’re finding out about the Chimera being created already, which would seem to suggest events so far aren’t playing out too differently from the last time around, given the references to them being made on Mars....BUT in Moira’s last lifetime in Powers of X, like, it was clearly referenced as MARS having been where the Chimera were first made.....while ever since the Hellfire Gala, the books have all been pushing really hard that the planet’s name is Arakko now. So what I’m wondering is if Moira’s last lifetime - where she was allied with Apocalypse for at least part of it as well - if Arakko and its mutants were ever successfully retrieved from Amenth....or if Mars was simply a Krakoan colony in that past lifetime, and the Chimera we saw a hundred years in its future were just the results of Sinister’s experiments with mutant/Krakoan DNA, with him never having had access to Arakki mutants or Tarn’s own experiments with mutation.

Because if the latter, then that would suggest that the key difference this time around, and the potential game changer for the future, is not actually Krakoa itself, but Arakko’s presence and the Krakoa/Arakko alliance, spread across two planets.

Hmmm. Must ponder more.

As for the new X-Men issue, it wasn’t bad but it was mostly meh. It felt like a lot of just action sequences with Duggan narrating how they all used their powers together to defeat the Annihilation Wave, and like....yawn? The mutant synergy idea is fine conceptually, but they are milking it WAY too hard, its like we get it, can you do something with the actual STORY rather than just being like look what happens when these two mutants use their powers at the same time? LOL. For what its worth, what story there IS in this issue is intriguing. I mean, the idea of Gameworld and its bets on the fate of Earth is pretty interesting, and Dr. Stasis is shaping up to be a dangerous threat, especially with him seeming to be on to the Krakoan resurrection capabilities (uh, not that they’ve been all that subtle about it, tbh), and allied with Orchis - thus them knowing about the great Krakoan resurrection engine as well, lmao. Like, they probably really should have put a bit more effort into keeping that under wraps awhile longer instead of just being like: 

"Oh Jumbo Carnation famously was murdered a few years ago with it all over the news and now we’re making a big deal about him designing all the outfits for our highly publicized Hellfire Gala, and you want to know how that could be possible, Mr. Reporter? Uh...look! A squirrel!”

Also, that plus the big fight between the Locus Vile and the Hellions on Krakoa after Ororo specifically WARNED Tarn that she was going to fuck his shit up if he tried to retaliate against Sinister - and that Isca and the rest of the Great Ring promised to back her on, lololol, its kinda funny that they all seem to hate Tarn as much as the rest of the Quiet Council all hate Sinister - anyway, all that has me wondering what the official policy on dead Arakki mutants is. I assume given that they’re mutants no fundamentally different from Krakoan mutants, that like, ever since they emerged from Otherworld, there’s no reason that Cerebro shouldn’t back up their consciousnesses as automatically as it does any other mutant’s....so is Krakoa sharing its resurrection technology with Arakko at all? Assuming of course that once they saw how Krakoans did it, they don’t have specific mutants of their own capable of matching the capabilities of the Five and doing the same for them. 

BUT then again, the idea of resurrection seems to fly pretty heavily in the face of Arakki culture, so I don’t imagine on the WHOLE they’re all that interested in it in the first place.....BUT BUT, that doesn’t mean that INDIVIDUAL Arakki mutants aren’t interested. And given that we know now that it was Solem who was pulling strings in Wolverine’s solo title and X-Force, and that he was behind stealing the Shi’ar logic diamonds, which are used in resurrection, and he seems to have aims towards stealing the Cerebro Sword from Mikhail in Russia......from what we do know of Solem, it would make perfect sense for him to be interested in resurrection, given how many of his own people want him dead (especially after how he fucked over War in X of Swords), and I can’t imagine Solem being all that interested in like, applying for Krakoan citizenship just for that perk if he felt he could finagle resurrection on his own terms instead.

Or that he thinks they’d even offer it to him at all at this point, given that Emma, a key figure on the Quiet Council, is personally gunning for him to get payback for what he did to Christian and the Marauder (yesssss, this is one Emma + Wolverine teamup I’m here for lololol). Course, I can’t help but think, you know who else would want payback for Christian, and who might be extremely helpful in going after a notoriously dangerous Arakki warrior with adamantium skin? Oh, idk, Christian’s boyfriend, the omega mutant capable of freezing anything so cold it can shatter with a touch....even vaunted adamantium. I’M JUST SAYING. We saw Bobby get his vengeful on after Kate was killed, and him applying that same energy towards going after someone as dangerous as Solem on Christian’s behalf, would be like....potentially the most interesting thing they’ve done with him in years.

Like, I know it won’t happen because it probably hasn’t even occurred to the writers, since most of them barely even acknowledge that Bobby and Christian are IN a relationship, but how fucking great would it be to have Solem smugly convinced that he’s a match for Logan only for him to be like “the useful thing about NOT being a loner loser like you and actually having friends and people who like me, is sometimes it pays to have a bigger gun than yourself on speed dial.” Cut to....Heeeeeere’s Bobby! You know, the dude who just singlehandedly gave your spiffy new homeplanet its ice caps. And whose boyfriend your pirate patsies tossed overboard and left for dead when stealing his ship.

Solem: Aww, fuck.

[demonicowgirl]

okay finished rule of wolves and i have THOUGHTS..... of which i have gathered..... like sheep i have herded them together. so no it's not coherent. spoilers under cut so abandon hope all ye who enter here

okay….. deadass…… i think my favorite point of view was from the darkling LIKE?!?!?! me before starting this book: HAHA THE DARKLING IS GOING TO DIE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!! GET REKT!!!!! me after: His first soldiers were dead now. Lovers, allies, countless kings and queens. Only he continued on. Eternity took practice, and he’d had plenty of it. The world had changed. War had changed. But he had not. but seriously he’s so dramatic and the shit is he says is like. unhinged. i had a blast

zoya deserves so much love and peace and i knew she’d end up queen but this was…. not how i expected it would be. but more thoughts on that down the list

how is jesper going to show up for approximately 14 pages and manage to be the funniest character in the entire book. like he’s got probably 50 lines and each one fucking hits HOW DOES HE DO IT

mayu’s chapters felt very unnecessary and i would’ve preferred to just not know how tamar’s mission in shu han is going until the khergud show up for their ride of rohirrim/knights of the vale moment. maybe leigh wrote it that originally and it just didn’t work? because i can definitely see how insane it would read like all we know about khergud is that they hunt grisha and then all of sudden they’re…. helping ravka?!?!? like it would be really hard to pull off but idk i think all of mayu’s chapters were just. kind of sloggy and the surprise would’ve been fun during the battle

sorry but i still don’t know what the fuck an airship looks like. or what the fjerdan naval base was supposed to look like. the tech in this universe is truly mind boggling

kaz brekker is so in love with inej ghafa. god they make me SICK

okay nina’s storyline…… this is my biggie……………… sigh. okay. nina’s storyline was my favorite part of king of scars and so i was really looking forward to seeing what would happen here. and for the most part i was having a great time!! i love her and hanne (more than i ever got into her and matthias) and i was so excited for jarl brum to finally fucking die. but then the last few chapters. i’m so……….. okay talking about hanne being a trans character (i’ll be using they/them pronouns because it doesn’t feel like a settled issue especially since they talk about not wanting to *be* rasmus, just his body). it makes so much sense for their character and i had HUUUUGE vibes all the way back in kos and i could see it coming here in row. but the way leigh handled their “transition” (???) is not good. like hanne had to kill a cis man and take on his identity to transition and that is such a bad handling i think??? who approved this. but also from a narrative standpoint it GETS WORSE?!?! like how the fuck is hanne gonna pretend to be a PRINCE… what will they do about the king and queen?? and nina remaining mila…… it honestly makes me really angry. that nina would turn her back on her country and friends and family for a LOVE INTEREST…… like her storyline has centered SO MUCH about how much she misses ravka, and in this duology even ketterdam!! like we all realize that when nina focuses on missing waffles or blini *those are symbolic stand-ins for her friends and it’s easier for her to talk about missing food than missing her friends*. like we all know that. and then in the end she says you know what i can PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE????? and not just a random fjerdan woman literally someone who will be QUEEN OF FJERDA ONE DAY. like an incredibly public position that will put mila under a ton of scrutiny… more than her identity was created for! and nina literally acknowledges that if they got the real mila jandersdat’s friends and neighbors to look at nina they’d know she was an impostor. so what is mila’s village gonna do when they hear mila jandersdat is apparently back from noyvi zem and now engaged to the prince???? i think leigh chose an ending that just doesn’t hold up narratively and logically. like i want nina to be happy and find love but why does it have to be…. not as nina.

my other big gripe is the politics and international implications of everything that’s going on like…… ravka is engaging in some CIA-backed-coups-in-latin-america levels of diplomacy. like fjerda is not just going to have a secret grisha impersonating their prince and eventual king one day, but their queen will ALSO be a secret grisha and RAVKAN SPY???? if nina was ever caught do you know the level of international scandal that would cause??? how the fuck could zoya even let her go off and do this??? it would absolutely be grounds for war and i thought zoya and everybody were TIRED of war. speaking of ravka’s government. guys we LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A MONARCHY. like i was actually hoping zoya would become queen but like…. because she married nikolai. not because nikolai stepped down and she was appointed. like i was fine with the monarchy sticking around if they never even had a chance to contemplate alternatives but they literally say no………. we choose monarchy. besides the fact that the world is advancing and monarchies don’t last long in technologically advanced societies, zoya is going to have the most unstable reign because of the threat from the lantsovs. like nikolai’s parents are gonna go back to the southern colonies and just be like “our son ended our dynasty and put a grisha on our throne but that’s fine! we shouldn’t try to reinstate ourselves or anything.” demidov is fine with this??? he had a problem with nikolai being a lantsov pretender but zoya just starting her own monarchial dynasty gets no pushback??? like i know nobody wants to end the book/series on such a depressing note but like. a revolution and/or coup is staring zoya in the face. and yeah she’s the motherfucking dragon but um…… so was daenerys targaryen. and ultimately it really feels like the ending of game of thrones where a bunch of noblemen are gathered in one room and they’re like “we have the chance to change the course of our country forever so we will…….. START A NEW DYNASTY!” ….. HUH?!?!!? like when nikolai was like ravka will choose its leader! and the only people from ravka in the room are the landed gentry and peerage. like yeah ravka really got a say in this…. so no nikolai i actually don’t think the nazyalensky dynasty will last that long because with all the threats of being overthrown on LITERALLY ALL SIDES zoya may just decide to say fuck it and give the people democracy so it’s no longer her problem! or she just gets killed. so. anyways if the only known countries in this world are ruled by either 1. monarchies (fjerda, ravka, shu han) or 2. plutocracy (kerch) i can see why literally fucking everybody is moving to noyvi zem. like jesus i would too!

genya deserves so much better she has suffered so much and i know leigh needed to make the war have personal consequences BUT DOES SHE HAVE TO HURT GENYA IN THE PROCESS???? like she just doesn’t get a break. anyways i hope she retires from the triurmvirate and goes to live with alina and mal in keramzin because you know what. they were right. they were right to turn their back on literally everything to do with ravkan politics. genya go join them pls

zoya’s expression of grief and mourning… yeah. yeah that one hurt.

i know everybody’s talking about the potential of soc3 but actually i don’t want that! let the crows be in peace in ketterdam!!!! their biggest threats should be like. getting shanked in the barrel not whatever the fuck zoya will put them through. i hope kaz just ignores her letters and when the Queen of Ravka personally comes to his doorstep he reiterates that he’s RETIRED. and when zoya tries to pull the inej card she pops out from behind kaz and says “i’m on vacation with my boyfriend. we’re good!” LET THEM REST!!!!!!!

so yes these are my thoughts not all of them but many of them. i still really enjoyed it and think it was waaaay better than king of scars (not as good as soc & ck though <3). the problem is that the ending definitely colors your view of everything that's happened and if you don't like the ending... well. it's not even that i didn't like the entirety of the ending i mostly just hated nina's and the implications of zoya's. do not mistake me for a darkling fangirl!!!! anyways the writing in this was really good too and there were more moments that just HIT ME than in kos, which i think i just sort.... breezed through without getting hit in the face by a brick of a line. but this one has so many moments especially in zoya and the darkling's chapters that i'm just like OH!!!!! so that is why i leave you with this:

"Zoya, do you know why the Darkling lost the civil war? How Alina stopped him?" Zoya pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. I wish I did." "Because he always fought alone. He let his power isolate him. Alina had us. You have us. You push us away, keep us at arm's distance so that you won't mourn us. But you'll mourn us anyway. That's the way love works."

[theradicalkanji]

I beat graveyard keeper and been looking for something new to play. Picked up Nioh cus it was 70% off. It doesnt want to play nice with my PC tho and lags like hell. I can only enjoy soulsbornes in short stints anyway so I shelved it after an hour or two and looked for something new. I ended up trying out Noita, and that was... a thing. Dunno if I dig it.

The premise is interesting. They made a roguelike that is procedurally generated down to the pixel. It sounds fancy, but really it's very similar to Terraria. Its basically Terraria without the crafting element and really clunky magic. Each time you start a new run you are given 2 starter wands and 1 starter potion. You typically get 1 generic wand that shoots infinite direct damage spells and 1 limited use wand that does bigger damage. I did 3 runs and my secondary wand was bombs twice and fireball once. I don't know if this means that your secondary wand is always an explosive or some sort of spell that will clear walls for you, but it would make sense.

The biggest issue I had with the game were how unwieldy all the wands were. I made it very deep and picked up several wands and they all did stuff like fire orbs that made them difficult to aim.

One wand fired an orb that would travel very slow for a few seconds. Vanish for a second. And then dart across the screen from the point it initially vanished.

One wand would shoot in the direction I aimed to and then split in two. One shot would fly back towards me (and do explosive damage to myself if it hit) and then other would fly the opposite direction.

Another wand I picked up would just chuck eggs. These eggs did not appear to do anything. They didn't do noticeable damage if I brained an enemy with them, and the tooltip said that if the eggs hatch it will cast a random spell. I tried to hatch the eggs by dropping them on the floor and waiting it out. I stood there for a few minutes with a pillow if 8 eggs at my feet and none hatched.

About the only wand I picked up that I found amusing was the frost ring wand. It would do a pulse outward from my location. It didn't do any notable damage to enemies, but I happened to find a giant lava pool and was able to create an obsidian bridge by using the wand.

That brings me to the main gripe with the game. The way they advertised it they made it sound like you'd be able to interact with the environment a lot more. As it was, the only real interaction I was able to do was by knocking lanterns off the wall or by shooting exploding barrels. I would have loved to see more interactions with elements and objects. I also feel like fire could be utilized a lot better.

Fire is such a pain in the ass in this game. Like. Once something starts burning it stays burning forever and if you catch on fire you have to run like hell to find some water before you burn to death. I would love to see something like, hopping would help put the fire out or something. Stop drop and roll that shit. I also wish fire interacted more with acid and poison. It would be neat if fire cleared poison. As it is, poison just stays there and poisons you and it's just awful. Added onto this the fact that so many enemies bleed poison, the entire map gets coated in it and it doesn't clear itself. It just sits there and makes it miserable to navigate.

Also potions are ridiculously unwieldy. You can spray them like a hose, which can be useful in some situations. You can drink them straight up, which could be useful in rare situations. You can also straight up yeet the bottles which is a lot of fun, but the interface is annoying. You have to open the inventory window and drag and drop the bottle in the direction you want to lob it.

I guess if I had my druthers I'd say: Make potions easier to use. Make fire spread faster and fade quicker. Make it so you can clear poison or at least have poison evaporate if it is just a small amount on the floor. I'd honestly take less variety of spells and potions if it meant that the ones you do get are actually useful.

[dumbfinntales]

I played, and beat Yakuza Like a Dragon. It was pretty damn good.

Yakuza Like a Dragon, or as I like to call it, LAD, is the first game I’ve played in the franchise. Why jump into a franchise that has 7 other entries before it? Mainly because playing 7 games back to back is HOLY SHIT, and that you don’t really need to play them to appreciate LAD. LAD has a new protagonist, new chracters and a new story altogether. Now there are some small callbacks to previous games in there, but they’re not essential for this games plot. But I do want to eventually witness Kiryus journey for myself.

So, the genre shift from a beat em’ up to an RPG, how did it go? I think it went wonderfully! The game feels a lot like South Park: Stick of Truth in many aspects, from the quicktime event attacks to how regular everyday things are seen as RPG items. Like a first aid kit is a revive, or sushi is a healing item, your bat is a sword etc... The main character sees every fight, and to that extend the world as one big video game. At some point of the game all the basic people enemies in the game start transforming into weird caricatures of themselves and only Ichi can see them. His friends are a little worried that Ichi is seeing things, but hey as long as it doesn’t hurt no one, who cares?

In many aspects LAD feels like a much bigger budged 3D Stick of Truth, and I LOVE THAT! The turn based combat isn’t super complex, but something as simple as timing a button press for extra damage or pressing a button to block some incoming damage adds so much more interactivity to the combat. Just choosing an attack and watching a lengthy animation is kinda boring. The game does fall to this trap still, there are some super attacks called “essence of...” and they’re just flashy cut-scenes that deal a lot of damage to enemies. The cut-scenes are hilarious and fun, but only for the first couple times. Thankfully when you use these attacks many times during combat you can just skip the cut-scene.

LAD is also one of those few games where I was genuinely gripped by the story and characters. Its vast cast of characters are diverse and fun, and just like in a good anime you love seeing the characters relationship develop. I gotta give a shoutout to my guy Ichiban Kasuga who is without a doubt one of my favorite video game protagonists of all time. He’s intimidating and badass, but he’s also geeky and overly optimistic. He mixes the personalities of a badass Yakuza and shonen protagonist so well. Ichi only ever thinks of others, is always willing to help and always does what he sees as the right thing. Not to mention how utterly loyal this guy is, he literally sits in jail for 18 years for someone else. Ichiban and the gang are great, I’m not gonna talk about all of them individually, but they’re fun. You should play the game yourself and get to know them.

The game also absolutely oozes with charm. You can see all the love they’ve put into making this game, and there’s no better game than a game you can tell was made with love. Or y’know, it’s a game that the devs actually wanted to make. Yakuza has always been silly and over the top and it’s no different here. The game also has an impressive amount of mini-games ranging from full on games within the game, like arcade or Dragon Kart. The business minigame was kinda boring, but I did it anyway because it does reward you with some powerful moves. I tried out all the minigames and while they’re fun, they’re not as gripping as the main game. But hey, if you like playing shogi the options there, and you can get some extra goodies for playing these minigames so your spent time is rewarded.

Hmmmm, how about some faults? Dislikes? One thing I noticed instantly was that the game takes FOREVER before it really starts. The game truly starts going in chapter 3, and I’d argue it takes you all the way to chapter 5 to unlock all the fun parts of the game. I understand why the beginning is so story heavy, I get it, without it some of the stuff that happens in the middle or end wouldn’t be as impactful. But god was it tiresome to watch 20 minutes of cut-scene, walk to some place in gameplay, watch more cut-scene, then read text boxes etc... LAD is a very story heavy game, even more so than some supposed “cinematic” games. The intro of LAD has more dialogue than the whole of Ghost of Tsushima. Now, is this a fault? Not really, but I’ll complain about it anyway.

To add to my dislikes, I hated the character movement in the open world sections. They tried to make it feel “realistic”, but it feels slippery and I constantly keep running into my stupid party members or just random pedestrians. Then if there’s more than one people in front of you Ichiban just gest stuck, slamming into people. I like the attention to detail with the animations, but they make exploration not very fun. I also really didn’t like how the characters move on their own during the combat, you have no control over the movements. A few times this weird thing happened where one of my guys walked on top of an object, like a chair. Then when I go for the attack they just fall of the chair and it skips their turn. If this happens you just have to patiently wait until the character moves off of the object on their own. So yeah. Also one last thing, the dungeons are kinda boring. Just hallways full of random thugs. It serves its purpose, but eh, could’ve been done better.

Man, this ended up being one meaty review type of deal, huh? Well the game is pretty lengthy too, like 60 hours. Would I recommend this to a newcomer? Absolutely. Would I recommend this to a Yakuza fan? If you like story and characters more over gameplay, HELL YEAH! But if turn based combat is a big no no for you, then alright. You do you, man. Despite some gripes LAD is still a fantastic game and a pretty fun turn based RPG. I think the game is a very solid ICHIBANS HAIRDO out of DRAGON QUEST.

[killscreencinema]

The Outer Worlds (PS4)

Even in space you can’t escape the claws of corporate greed and rampant capitalism gone amuck! 

Such is the case in The Outer Worlds, developed by Obsidian Entertainment and published by Take-Two Interactive in 2019, where you play as a mysterious “stranger”, thawed out of cryogenic stasis on a lost colony ship by a mad scientist named Phineas Wells, who barely introduces himself before dispatching you to an exotic world named Terra 2.  Here you begin your quest either to help Dr. Welles shake off the chains of corporate tyranny that has run down the colony of the Halcyon star system or you can choose to assist “The Board” in catching the fugitive scientist and reestablishing its authority. 

The Outer Worlds is kind of a mash-up of several sci-fi fantasy properties, most notably Joss Whedon’s Firefly, with a cup of Star Wars, a tablespoon of Mass Effect, with a big ol’ heaping of BioShock folded in for good measure.  That’s not to say it’s a ripoff of those things so much as a loving homage that manages to use those influences to create its own universe. 

Okay, well, your socially awkward engineer, Parvarti, who speaks in politely educated, old west vernacular is straight up Kaylee from Firefly but still not a ripoff!

Okay, well, there’s the preacher on your ship, Vicar Max, who may or may not have been an expertly trained assassin and secret agent in a former life, just like Shepard Book in Firefly, but still not a ripoff!

Anyway, I do enjoy the art direction and aesthetics of The Outer Worlds, which has the “steam punky” yet futuristic vibe of BioShock, mixed with the obnoxious inundation of advertising by all the corporate factions vying for your attention and you hard earned “bits”.  Say what you will about advertising, but that’s when you know humanity has reached the final frontier - when the well-lit billboards and signs start going up all over space.  That kind of stuff does make these sci-fi universes feel “lived in”.  It’s one of many reasons I love the show Cowboy Bebop - the future it depicts seems realistic and believable because it’s not really that far removed from our present, to point of including commercials, tacky eye sore ads everywhere, etc. 

I digress - The Outer Worlds is a first-person shooter, with RPG elements similar to the Fallout games.  The game also has that really annoying RPG element of having to constantly clean out your inventory from the constant crap that you loot from vanquished foes, shipping containers, and random safes that you can crack if your lockpicking skills are high enough.  This shit in particular really reminds me of the first Mass Effect, which often felt like I spent more time in the menu equipping new weapons and armor than actually playing the game.  Thankfully, becoming over-encumbered is rarely an issue as the game gives you a pretty generous weight threshold, but you will still have to eventually halt everything to offload all the useless crap that has accumulated in your inventory.

The combat is twitchy, FPS style fighting but your character has the ability to slow down time in order to fire precise shots at vulnerable enemy spots.  I found this “Tactical Time Dilation”, or TTD, to be a useless waste of a mechanic as your character slows down along with the enemy, making it rather pointless and annoying.  There are “perks” your character can earn to make you slightly move faster while using TTD, but not enough to make it worth using a lot in my opinion. 

The majority of the story plays out via dialogue trees, and this is where I derived a lot of fun from The Outer Worlds, as you can opt to give your character low intelligence, which opens up “Dumb” dialogue options.  I can’t recommend this option enough, as the way characters react to your dumb responses is hilarious, and ultimately leads to an optional secret ending for the game.  Using the dumb dialogue options made me feel like I was playing the game as an “Ash Williams” type hero - tough, effective, and cunning in his own way, but ultimately kind of an idiot who bumbles into victory.  It really made the game all the more compelling for me, because I happen to love characters like that.

While overall I enjoyed The Outer Worlds, I was also disappointed by how the universe of the game didn’t feel very expansive.  You only travel to a handful of worlds, and even then, you’re relegated to a small patch of the planet.  A game like this should feel more epic, kind of like No Man’s Sky, but still a functional game (yeah, I know, the update makes it supposedly better but you get my point).  There are worlds on your map you NEVER get to visit, except via DLC, but even then you travel to a space station in orbit above that world that looks like every OTHER space station.  So in summary, for a game called The Outer Worlds, I found the lack of variety in said worlds to be deflating.  This isn’t helped by how often the same character models, with the same exact haircuts, and odd smirks, is recycled throughout the game.  Do all of these characters go to the same barber or what?

Ultimately, these are all minor gripes compared to my biggest complaint of all - the loading times.  Jesus and Mary, the loading times are the worst.  When I signed up to be a console gamer in the great “Console vs PC Wars”, I knew I was going to have to deal with loading screens, but The Outer Worlds is ridiculous.  I actually dreaded going into my ship, or transitioning to another map, because I knew I’d have to sit through a nearly 1-minute long loading screen every goddamn time.  It’s unacceptable even by console standards and I understand it’s not much better on PC. 

If you can get over obnoxious loading times, though, The Outer Worlds is worth a playthrough, especially if you’re a fan of the sci-fi genre.

[siodium]

REVIEW: BURIED STARS ☆

came across this korean mystery vn and i knew i had to get it bc someone commented that it had a similar feel to danganronpa/zero escape O: seems like i have a type

i usually don’t prefer to get digital copies of games but there was really no choice... i heard the physical copy is sold out in korea and resales are going for 200 USD ain’t nobody got money for that

i don’t think anyone i know is gonna purchase this game and play for themselves and i can’t share the game either bc it’s a digital copy sooo i’m gonna write a review~ please enjoy!!

basically the plot goes as such: the survival reality tv show Buried Stars was about to commence the finals of its current season with the remaining five contestants when the building suddenly collapses. most of the audience and staff members were safely evacuated except for seven ppl (the five contestants and two staff members) who are trapped in the wreckage with just their smartwatches that connects them to the outside world via calls (problematic bc they can only call a restricted number of ppl and the signal inside is shit) and phater (bootleg twitter). after trying to make some calls, everyone was then told that the rescue team would take around six hours to break into the collapsed building to get them out.

ok so they just have to wait it out... in an unstable building that can come down at any moment. cool.

then!!! they find the producer’s dead body, seemingly a victim to the falling debris!! they’re down to six survivors now.

despite the circumstances, voting is still ongoing and some rando on phater claims that the contestant in the last place will die as if the atmosphere wasn’t bad enough.

this is your smartwatch interface!! most of the functions are pretty useless with regards to the actual gameplay but it’s just fun to play around with them i guess

for e.g. you can change the background and ringtone but they don’t affect anything

there’s this feature that keeps track of changes that occur when you pick certain conversation topics during communication rounds and it’s really useful for replays!! too bad it doesn’t keep track of sanity changes in mc

this is the mc!! even though he looks like he would be a tsundere punk he’s actually very soft?? kinda like saihara but with a bit more spine

AND THIS IS MY BEST BOI GYU-HYUK

i lowkey ship them bc of their interactions alsjdkasjs jUST LOOK AT THIS

i was expecting there to be a lot of mysteries but given the circumstances i guess it makes sense to not have that many... there’s no murder mystery if it happened in an accident site and looked like an accident you see

a lot of conversation topics focus on the character’s backstory and stuff so you get to learn more about the characters while waiting for rescue (one of the goals of this game is actually to collect characters’ profiles!)

bonding through a shared traumatic experience sounds reasonable

did i mention that the cutscenes are fully voiced (either in korean or japanese depending on your preference)?? i played it in korean for my first gameplay for ~Optimal Experience~ but i switched to japanese in subsequent plays bc i wanted to be able to understand what the characters were saying without reading the text

the only thing that throws me off is that characters are given japanese names in the japanese dub but the in-game text still uses their korean names??? why

my boi gyu-hyuk is voiced by takuya eguchi and hyesung is voiced by shimono hiro (i actually doubted my ears at first bc hyesung sounds angry 24/7 and i only know shimono’s derpy zenitsu and troll ouma voices sweats;;) wOW 👍👍👍

the first ending is the same for everyone even if you picked the best options

they call it a “normal end” but tbh it’s a bad end bc everyone dies and nothing is resolved

after you clear the game for the first time you will get to replay from the start but your options will change so you can proceed towards other routes!! yay

oh yeah in case anyone is wondering this game is rated T and bodies are shown in the form of a silhouette with non-explicit close-ups during investigation so if you can’t handle graphic stuff it’s not too bad

warning: from here on there will be spoilers for the true ending and other endings!! stop scrolling if you have even the slightest intention to play the game

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collected all the endings after 30ish hours of gameplay!! i wanted to strive for 100% completion in achievements but i’m not sure how to get some stuff... might go back and try other options in the future

in the true route you receive help from this random phater user plughole aND I JUST LOVE THE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN HIM AND DO-YOON LMAO

idk if anyone tried to guess who the real culprit is but it turned out to be

my boi gyu-hyuk......

he had his reasons (not trying to say he did no wrong) and it’s just unfortunate that things turned out this way

while playing, i thought to myself... if there was one person i would glue do-yoon to throughout the entire game it would be gyu-hyuk... bc i was certain he wouldn’t hurt do-yoon

i was right tho... even in some routes where do-yoon catches him in the act, gyu-hyuk didn’t try to silence him

CRYING

i don’t know much about korean law but he has THREE murder charges on him whicH SOUNDS LIKE DEATH SENTENCE

i’m sad bc there’s no way to save my boi even in his best ending

plughole visits you in the hospital in the true ending!! he is also a troll irl it seems

he was kinda sus in the beginning but i really hoped that he was a Good Guy to keep do-yoon sane in the wreckage

and i’m glad he was

do-yoon looks super baby in his hospital clothes

he was not kidding when he said that his actions were bc of his sister (who is a hardcore fan of do-yoon) lmao

aaa the girls are doing great after their treatment!! they visit do-yoon too!!

yeah i also want to know why do-yoon is the only one still hospitalised with all those bandages when everyone else is fine but i guess maybe he got injured when he protected gyu-hyuk from falling debris at the start of the game

...

if you don’t find out the true culprit of the murders gyu-hyuk goes free and he visits you every day in the hospital aND SAYS STUFF LIKE THIS

ugh it hurts me

...

there’s also a joke ending (when you pick the “i’m the attacker” option lmao) which i appreciate a lot!! something to lighten the tense mood is what i crave for in games like this

somehow i feel like it’s even scarier than the usual atmosphere bc of how ooc everyone acts

BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S REALLY SCARY?

there’s a horror route that you can enter by using the “laboratory” conversation topic on everyone and expressing how much it creeps you out

and the entire game shifts in genre to actual horror (like with paranormal activities)

IT WAS REALLY SCARY AND THERE WERE HANDS EVERYWHERE AND EVERYONE WAS ACTING WEIRD ASLJELKASJ i had my eyes closed half the time and i regret playing on my monitor

i didn’t take many screenshots bc as i mentioned my eyes were not looking at the screen for most part but i hope that you can kinda understand where i’m coming from with these two screenshots

...

the game is actually split into two major routes (A and B) which differ in who gets saved and who dies

you can only start on the B route after you get the true ending which is in the A route

unfortunately there is no route where everyone (even if you exclude the producer bc she dies before do-yoon regains consciousness at the start of the game) survives TT

if hyesung and seil survive then gyu-hyuk kills himself and leaves a note but do-yoon tears it up so we don’t know what he wrote

overall a solid mystery vn with beautiful graphics and enough routes to keep you occupied for many hours!! i highly recommend following a walkthrough bc it’s not an easy game if you want to collect all the possible endings and achievements

cuz there are minor changes to the epilogue depending on how close you are with the characters

i actually don’t play a lot of VNs but i feel like all VNs need the route map thingy in AI: the somnium files

my only gripe about this game is prob the derpy translations which usually isn’t a big issue (imo at least) but for a game priced this high?? i expected better

anyway that’s all from me!! thanks for reading til the end hahah i wanted to write a srs review but i just ended up simping for gyu-hyuk

[vampanic]

okay here’s what i remember from THE CON

i can’t remember if the ticket was cheap or pricey. i don’t know why. i wanna say it was more expensive or of equal value to a bigger con and i justified it to my parents and myself because it was the first one. but i went because i thought the idea of a con that was centered on the various fandoms popular on this site at the time was a genuinely neat idea. i also thought, okay let me just go because it’s another one to attend.

i should note: that have been to a lot conventions in my time. i’ve been to acen twice i think? i’ve been to nebkon twice. sadly i have never been to c2e2 or flashback chicago (which i may never get to go to now whoops) and i’ve been to wizard world chicago i wanna say 4 times?

now at these cons (mostly wizard world) these fandoms aren’t as present. in fact, the main demo of that con was adult to middle age to older visitors as well as families, so usually teens and young adults would find each other at this con (whether planned ahead or by accident there) and freak the fuck out over our cosplays or mutual love of whatever.

so because of this again the idea of a t.umblr con was exciting to me, even though i was already at the end of being interested in those fandoms (as i’m sure most people were at the time)

okay so first, this con was far. wizard world and acen are held at the rosemont convention center which while kind of far from where i live, is accessible by train via downtown or via one of chicago’s big airports. i always got a ride though which with summer traffic, took forever. so much like that this con was a journey away.

the hotel the con choose i remember thinking it seemed new, but it was far from where i lived which inpacted the amount of time i spent at the con and the decision to only go two days (i didn’t return the last day because it was a shit show)

i went to this con by myself because i think at this point i had already had a falling out with my friend who i went to cons in the area with (she did not attend that i know of). i wore two cosplays that i had made already for other things, gwen stacy and america chavez. this would have been the ideal place for me to cosplay something more niche, but i just didn’t care that much about it. maybe i didn’t think it was worth it at the time since it wasn’t going to be a big con.

so i get there and there’s no long line to get my badge in fact i don’t even remember a line at all. which, for me, was bizarre. every con i’ve been to before had huge lines even on off hours to get badges. but whatever. i cant remember if where i got my badge was in the the same room as where the ball pit was or not. but yes, i did go into the ball pit and i was silly in it with some other people because

idk you see a ball pit you go in the ball pit? in hindsight i know it’s not acceptable to have this at a con, but shit i guess i was high on life at the time. someone took a pic of me in the pit, but i have never seen it.

i remember seeing some very impressive cosplays at this con. i also bought some really great art in the dealers room which was small. (here’s the artist. also this was nonfandom art. i don’t remember buying anything else from anyone because i don’t think i saw anything i liked/could afford) there was no unlicensed night vale merch sold here that i remember, but i do remember receiving free unlicsenced night vale like pamphlets from a random vendor and also  there was a vendor who was giving away a large piece of night vale fan art with a purchase of over something dollars i dont remember.

panels: i don’t remember there being many panels or even very interesting panels. panels i remember going to include: bisexuality in media/bisexuality representation (which was put on by the bisexualbooks tumblr), ask an avenger (which was put on by various marvel cosplayers), and a panel that was about female characters in supernatural (i was a spn stan back in the day jsyk).

the bi one was good. i remember it being the most like a panel that you’d go to at a larger convention. they had slides and info and they took questions and had several speakers.

the avengers one was what we’d call today “cringey” but it was cute. it was exactly what it sounds like. avengers cosplayers sat up on a stage answering questions in character. i believe that all the cosplayers had rp and/or ask blogs which is why they were chosen.

the supernatural panel was, like the bi one, complete with slides and various speakers, but from what i remember it was mostly going down the list of female characters in the show. i remember from the fandom that there a good chunk of people who love the characters, but they’re often killed off or abandoned and this is something a lot of fans did have gripes with. this is gonna sound fake when i say it, but this did happen, we got to charlie and someone said “yeah i like charlie she’s cool because she’s a lesbian but she doesn’t act like one like she’s still feminine” and i spoke up and said “well yeah it’s cool she’s a lesbian, but what do you mean she doesn’t act like one. like queer female character shouldn’t have to be feminine to be seen as good rep.” and people clapped. i know that sounds fake, but please believe me because this is a setting where people are inclined to clap when they agree with statements. people clapped at others too.

i also attended the costume contest, the night vale panel, and the meet and greet with doug jones.

the contest was fine. there was one individual at this con who i can’t name because i didnt know their name, but they cosplayed as ed from edd ed and eddy and they were in character the whole time to the point of discomfort. it wasn’t just for the contest i found myself in a cards against humanity game that they were in and it was even there and it was weird.

then the night vale panel happened and ooooooooohhhh boy

this was the most filled room in the whole con. a main reason i went to this con was to see them and im pretty sure this was everyone’s main reason to go. i known someone from other cons who came from florida to see this. (fun fact: we were mutuals on various platforms and had hung out at various cons and i knew their name, but they could not remember mine and i thought that was bogus so i ghosted them. dont know if i was justified in that but whatever)

so here we all were waiting. for over an hour. during this time people talked and i remember someone cosplaying the glow cloud went up and down the isle with a little glow cloud baby in a stroller and we all laughed and cheered. people started playing card games. we kept busy. for me though.

this was one of the most boring cons i’ve been to honestly. i’m having trouble remember a lot of it and that’s because i went solo. i had no friends there. i cosplayed gwen from like the 60s and this was before spidey joined the mcu and before itsv was a thing so spidey was basically an niche fandom (i was active in the tasm and dane deha.an fandoms at this time and the latter became toxic as fuck but that’s a whole other story) or something older comic fans liked.

my other cosplay was america chavez from young avengers which never got that popular either (though kate bishop and kid loki where more recognized, but for their connection to bigger marvel names). so it wasn’t like other cons where my cosplay was an ice breaker and i could join groups. i was alone.

so a lot of the con for that reason was awkward and waiting for night vale was like being the person texting in the corner at a distant relative’s party because they know no one.

so they finally come on stage to say that night vale will not be performing and people went ballistic people were shouting and the person said “we have doug jones in the next hall you should go over to that” and someone yelled “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM”

i went to see doug jones and i was previously unaware of what his name was but i knew who he was. he talked about his work and acting process and did a meet and greet after. mr. jones was a delight and i’m wondering how they even got him there in the first place. he was leagues above this. 

i had to leave the con early that day to go to my brother’s football game, but i believe that was the night they “protested” at the con and i kept seeing on tumblr that it was cancelled. i decided not to go back the next day because i was unsure of what was happening and because it was too far.

and the rest is history. i’m sure i went to other panels, but i can’t remember them. i do remember going into the room where they were watching pacific rim, but it was on a shitty projection screen and i wanted to go to a panel instead.

it’s shitty what happened with the con. and a lot of the unrest came from literal teens who were cheated from money who didn’t know how to act, but all the responsibility goes to the people who organized it poorly. The concept of a tu.mblr con i don’t think should have been inherently bad. i think it would have been cool to have a con that focused on more niche interests. but shouldn’t have been as big as they wanted it to be for the first go.

anyway that’s most of what i can remember. it’s kind of blur because i spent most of it by myself and there wasn’t much to do so i didn’t even spend the whole day there.

quite frankly, i’m glad i wasn’t there when they started singing les mis because i have no idea how i would have acted.

[holysmotez]

Cubes of Olkarion early access first impressions

So I decided to pull the trigger and pick up Cubes (had some credit on my acct I haven't used in months, so heck with it).  For those of you who are anywhere between 'skittish' and 'on-the-fence' about VLD, like I was, I wanted to run some recon for you.  And tbh, I was actually kind of intrigued by the gameplay itself.  My logic was that at the very least, even if all the Voltron stuff made about as much sense as the show (a clusterfuck), I'd still might get an OK game out of it.  

The following is a more of a disorganized, steam of consciousness brain dump than a review, but hopefully I can help satisfy some curiosity that might be out there.

I want to reiterate that the game IS early access right now, but all 5 Paladins are available, and there are a handful of stages unlocked.  I've spent a grand total of maybe ~5ish mins on the tutorial, and ~45mins on the game itself so far.  And so far, it's a pretty clever game.  By clever I mean one that's going to kick my ass until I start getting the hang of it.  But I WANT to get the hang of it.  So that's a point in its favor from a purely gaming perspective.

But you want to know what's crazy?  All the shit you all really want to know about?  The Voltron stuff-- actually does make sense.  But not because of the show (except for the music. Ugh the VLD intro/main theme still makes my heart feel all fuzzy).

As far as I can tell, this game doesn’t give a shit about the canon past S2, and - I have to laugh here - it works great.

What do I mean?  Bear with me, because I'm going to try and explain as best as I can, but first, a little context.

There have been some fascinating post-mortems of VLD, and particularly regarding the Paladin emblems that emerged from the marketing side.  I recommend giving A few thoughts on DW/VLD Marketing by @ptw30 and Voltron: Legendary Planning Fail by @nomadicism a thorough read.  Basically, there are these emblems that came about from VLD merch and toys, but not so much from the show itself.  Their existence suggests that at one point - before or circa when creative tossed out the show bible and pulled the rug out - that these emblems were to symbolize the corresponding elements and their Paladins/Lions.  You know-- like we're shown in the show's goddamned intro.  But since the EPs et al deviated from the original bible, and the whole Lion swap thing happened, these elemental connections were de-emphasized in the show.

Here they are in the game.  And I'm not gonna lie-- seeing these kinda reassured me in my purchasing decision.

The elemental stuff seems like it's back on with Cubes, and it's such a weird thing to wrap my brain around.  Because it's Voltron canon...and it's kind of not Voltron canon?  Quantum canon? Idk. Seems appropriate for a sci-fi space robot show.

Anyway, reason I say this because all the Cubes themselves are all elemental.  There are 8 different types.  Five correspond to the Paladins, and then there is Allura, Coran, and (I think?) Haggar who are unavailable/locked characters, who round out the 8.  Based on the types of Olkarion cubes there are, I can only presume they ALSO have (had?) corresponding elements associated with them, which is kinda interesting...

This leads me to my one well, not really a gripe, but a feature that I'm curious as to how they will expand on it.  This is early access, after all.  As with many games, you are provided with an "Oh Shit" button that can turn the tide of a match if/when timed well.  While you're playing a match, there's a power bar that fills up as you play, which you can then spend so that construction and ammo charges recharge much faster for a brief time.  Based on the tutorial text, my impression was that your power-up would correspond to the character you select, but as of now it doesn't appear to be the case.  Coran (your tutor, natch) however, suggests stuff about how the Paladins deepening their connections with their Lions might unlock more?  I kinda hope that depending on which Paladin you play, that the power boost will ultimately correspond to the character's particular cube element in some way, since it would make for more interesting choices/gameplay than there are now.

Anyway, that about wraps up my initial impressions!   I'm definitely going to practice at it more, and as a bitter salty BP Shiro fan, I'm happy to say Cubes (so far) does not offend.  Or at least, this game doesn't seem to want to put anymore salt in the wound.  Granted, I have no idea what possible extra skins/outfits they might add, so I can't say whether we'll get a Kuron or Captain/Garrison duds for instance.  But again, with the element stuff, idk?  Either way, BP Shiro is there in all his glory, even if it pains me to beat his ass whenever the AI randomizer picks him.  Oops.  Um, it’s just a game?

[nervousllikeme]

really excited about tlou2. about twoish hours in. spoilery stuff under the cut/thoughts so far

so I read/watched the leaks. knew what was gonna happen. plus like....it wasn’t all that hard to figure out from the promotional material. I dunno. I’m not too bothered by it. Maybe because I wasn’t mega invested in Joel, definitely not as much as Ellie. She was the reason I’ve gotten into this whole thing. Like he’s a person, he’s flawed, he’s done a lot of bad shit. It harkens back to the first game imo with Sarah dying in the beginning. Which i guess was the point. I’m okay with it. Sad. Is what it is. Really bothered how many people in the comments sections are saying they’re breaking their playstations over it and blah blah blah (same people complaining about Ellie being a lesbian tbh). Like....chill. It’s a video game. 

Anyway, I’m not that far into it itself but since I did partake in the leaks I’m pretty sure I know whats going on with Abby. Which...upon first impression i thought was phoned in and kinda soap opera-y but the more I think about it the more I like it? If she is the surgeon’s daughter that’s a nice and interesting parallel between her and Ellie, losing fathers/father figures. I’m cool with that. And it sticks with me especially since one of my biggest gripes of the last of us is that I had to kill the surgeon to progress. All of Joel’s violence was hard to stomach on a moral level in that last section, but that one especially.....it really bothered me. That’s pretty monstrous. Killing an innocent, defenseless person. And I can understand how that action can spurn this plot, random daughter appearing be damned, especially if more people than just myself thought it was abhorrent. 

also why i’ve been going through the comments section even though it’s full of whiny babies was because one of the leaks stated Ellie died. As far as I can decipher she doesn’t! is that hypocritical to be happy the character i prefer doesn’t die while the character others prefer does....who knows! anyway I’m not too bothered by knowing what happens. knowing and experiencing are two different things. I knew what happened in tlou1 before i experienced it, knew years in advance. I’m in this for the story and story is more than just plot beats. I like having things to think about! also like goddamn i was obsessed with life is strange for years despite knowing and accepting the plot was terrible! that’s that on that. I just like lesbians. 

[celestialholz]

Star Trek: Picard. MON CAPITAINE, HE’S BAAAACK. <3

Well, I am a British idiot without a decent proxy, but it’s Friday and therefore Captain Picard Day officially for my good self, so... about time we got with the damn times and DID SOME REVIEWIN’, mes amis. Spoilers abound, naturally. I’m going blow-by-blow, but also elaborating on some lovely things here and there. Jean-Luc Picard means a lot to me personally, I write about him a lot for those who may not know me, and I’ve been SO excited for this - but does it measure up? Spoiler warning: oh yeah. Hellllll yeah.

Warning: Many crudely-drawn hearts incoming. None of them are mechanical, sadly.

- Okay, first thing: this show is GORGEOUS. Oh my god, seriously. CBS knew they were running a potential gold mine here and spent the damn money to prove it. That sweeping into the Enterprise? The credits? Boston? Jesus, my eyes haven’t been treated so well since Avengers: Endgame. It’s a damn Michelin-starred FEAST. It strikes precisely the right balance of feeling gloriously alive and futuristic whilst having the vineyard be oh-so-current, and thus retro for the era. 1701 out of ten, boys. <3

- Data. Picard. Poker. My soul aches. This immediate rich banter is just... *pinch emoji* Ten Forward, man. TEN FORWARD.

- Give me the dog. Just give me him. I love Will, super stoked to see him again, but THIS is my new Number One. Shaped like a goddamn friend.

- Boston, huh? Jesus. Immediate action, immediate knowledge without any knowledge at all of who this chick is. Great writing. <3

- Credits! Already said they’re visually lovely, but the music is also surprisingly effective. Has this contrast of giving us quaint vibes mixed with 24th century tech; the real message of this show, laid out right there.

- Romulans! In the vineyard! Picard said alien rights! Love him. <3 This whole thing feels so very him - he can’t ever quite be stagnant, even back home. He’s out here being forward-thinking and socially progressive as fuck.

- He has a found family again. Of course he does. God, you can truly tell Patrick Stewart exec-produced this. <3

- Decaf earl grey. “You’re getting old, Johnny.” (Don’t drink decaf earl grey if you can help it, guys. It’s fucking terrible. I’m sure he knows this. Bless him.)

- Journalist? She’s going to be an arse, isn’t she?

- ... Oh yeah. And a prejudiced one, too! Lovely. /end British sarcasm I love that layering of this against “Romulan lives -” “Lives.” This new universe feels so deliciously alive at every turn; visually, socially, culturally... this is the vibe I WANTED from a sequel. Beautiful. <3

- Picard, here, in this scene. Just dear GOD. This is why this character is so enduring - he’s kind, warm, soulful, deeply intelligent, principled as all hell, and he’s become so embittered by this horrendous miscarriage of justice... the utopia’s failing, folks, and it’s a delight. Patrick sells the absolute shit out of this whole thing like the absolute asset he’s always been to this franchise, and just the CARE that has gone into his portrayal? I’m in love. Just give me fucking ALL of it. He feels so very him whilst also being richer and a touch bolder and christ, all these things Patrick’s said about loving Picard and wanting to portray him faithfully shine here so very clearly. Flawless. <333333 

- Oh, and all of that, but also THROWBACK THURSDAY. <3 These flashbacks will murder me, I’m certain of it. Retro and new in perfect harmony.

- Oh, here’s the kid! And hang on, an intriguing quote... “You just wave your hand and it all goes away”? Can we just... step back and think about what that’s a reference to, because fuck, dude, I MAY JUST HAVE TO WATCH TAPESTRY AGAIN. (Hardly a chore, let’s be real. I’m a Q stan, leave me be. It’s likely not a reference of course, but for the love of the Continuum, give me De Lancie. This shit already can’t improve so far, just LET IT IMPROVE ANYWAY.) 

- This interview-on-a-random-screen thing is great, too; I love the dichotomy of it. Picard’s out here being principled and wonderful, solely for our eyes and the girl’s. It’s literally background info at this point and it’s a lovely little aside to how Picard’s just been here the whole time, abiding by what he believes in without any real fuss. 

- ... That lovely little vineyard confrontation. Yes, yes, yes. Dad vibes without being a dad. I so didn’t want him to be a dad, it’s so painfully out of character, and I’m so glad they went with ‘lovely old uncle’ instead. <3 This whole scene just again pitches Picard amazingly.

- Can I have that firepit, Jean-Luc? Thanks, Captain.

- ... Hold the entire galaxy’s collection of phones: IS THIS CHICK LAL?! How the hell would that even work?! Bro...

- This nostalgia suite thing in the archives? Incredible. The banner? He hated that shit, we all know this, but it meant something to him deep down, that those children had his respect and admiration, that he felt so inspiring to others... how very telling that it’s one of the things he chose to keep. <3 Parallels not-Lal and this whole mini-arc thing wonderfully.

- ... Is her name supposed to sound like Vash’s? Is that a coincidence? Anyway, she’s not Lal, which makes much more sense, but she is... Data’s daughter? When the sodding hell did that happen? Oh, I really don’t care, honestly. It’s beautiful. All these Data flashbacks continue to kill me, and just for the love of it, let’s chuck some Captain in there, uniform and all! Gaaah. Who gave Patrick Stewart the right to still be this attractive, good lord above. Brent out here absolutely nailing this naive joy we loved so much back in the day, too... <333

- That chat about Dajh (possibly? The sweet and misguided android chick, giving me major Amanda Rogers vibes - I was too excited to look up the spelling, do forgive me) and her connection to Data, and what it means to Picard? Lovely. Absolutely adorable.

- ... And we come to my only minor gripe with all of this joy - why in the name of all positrons was Dajh introduced and then more or less immediately blown to tiny android pieces? Can’t help but feel the potential she had was wasted. I understand that we needed a Picard catalyst to get him back in the game, but I feel as though she’d have done that whilst still being alive. Although, I’m not going to be too harsh on it... “I haven’t been living, I’ve been waiting to die” is a thousand percent the quote of 2020 twenty-three days in and I just about screamed. I’ve got Tapestry vibes again, my god. This man is such a legend. <333333

-  I was becoming rather invested in dear Dajh, though, and I know we have her identical twin elsewhere (more on that shortly) but that’s sort of like giving me Lore and expecting me to be fine without Data. Speaking of which... 

- B-4. In a drawer. Near a door? Well, probably about thirty metres away from one. Love it. And a Maddox namedrop at the same time as something of an explanation! Actually really enjoyed this tie-in to old lore (pun fully intended, folks) whilst being coherent in its own right. God, I’d love to see a non-Trekkie watch this, they’d be so fucking baffled...

- Okay, even with all I’ve said about the visuals, that segway from neuron necklace to space was spectacular. I’m never going to need an eye test again. <3

- Nice guy Romulan. Awww. Someone hug his awkward soul. Dajh’s twin looks immediately less interesting (as evidenced by the fact I’ve forgotten her name - it definitely starts with ‘S’) but I’m definitely reserving judgement for now, I’m sure she’ll be as great as the rest of this show.

- ... That’s a cube, isn’t it?

- IT’S A CUBE. WITH ROMULANS. WHO AREN’T ASSIMILATED. Did they steal it? How the hell did they steal it? Do they have an alliance? What the fuck is happening? Picard did not sign back up two minutes ago for this shit guys!

... Well, basically, tl;dr? Modern, socially developed, stunning; retro in flawless contrast, with an even richer and more nuanced main character than ever who still feels so very himself, which is all I ever wanted. Fucking fantastic. Is it Friday again yet? Can your esteemed reviewer hit up a proxy next week and not die in anticipation of whatever the shit that ending was being perhaps explained a little more?

To be continued...

[crashdevlin]

I Never

Author’s Note: Unbeta’ed cause I have no beta. Written for @bamby0304‘s Triple Threat Challenge. (I know you said you’d never admit it if it an entry in your challenge sucks, but I honestly would like to know if it sucks, so please if it does, Bamby, send me a message) My prompts were: A1- You’re cute when you’re angry. B1- You’re an asshole. and C10- Bite me.

Summary: Y/n is a hunter who begrudgingly asks the Winchesters for help. The Winchesters don’t understand why she hates them when she doesn’t even know them, so Dean suggests a drinking game to get to know each other.

Pairing(s): Sam x Reader x Dean (no wincest)

Word Count: 2723

Story Warnings: Smut, 18+ HERE BE SEX, DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!, oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, some alcohol, some man-hating (undeserved), some serious leaning upon the ‘Drinking Game’ trope to get shit moving.

"Bite me." You glared at the older Winchester brother and moved to stomp away, but his chuckling stopped you. "Something funny about this?"

"Uh, yeah. You came to us for help, princess, and now you're stomping away like a little kid. I think that's fuckin' hilarious."

"I came to you for help with a hunt and all I've gotten is innuendo and bullshit. I swear to you, if Bobby Singer was still alive, I would have never even called you."

Dean licked his bottom lip into his mouth and bit it lightly. He sighed and gave a small, but genuine, smile. "I'm sorry. You know how I am, y/n. If I can make a thing about sex, I do. It was inappropriate and it won't happen again."

You felt your stance soften under his gaze and some of your anger washed away. "Promise?"

He drew an X over his heart with his finger. "Cross my heart, princess. You will not hear another word from me about repaying this favor with a blow job."

You rolled your eyes. "You know, you're hunters, too. It shouldn't be seen as a favor to do your damn job."

He nodded. "I'd agree with that, 'cept last time we swept in and tried to help you without being invited, you freaked out on us. Claimed it was your hunt and we were fuckin' you up."

"I almost shot Sam, and the ghoul got away, because you showed up in the middle of my damn hunt."

"We got the thing."

"Two nights later!" You exclaimed. You took a deep breath and shook your head. "Doesn't matter. Look, dude had this pipe in every picture of him, I think he whittled the damn thing himself and if there were an object he were gonna attach himself to, it'd be that thing and I just need some help finding it, that's all."

"Yeah, all right, we can totally-"

The door opened as Dean was speaking and Sam walked in, arms full of food. "So, get this. Adamson had a home nurse toward the end who was completely in love with him. She sneaked his pipe out in her med bag the night before he died." Dean put his hand up to try to get Sam to stop talking, but Sam didn't seem to notice from the other side of a paper bag. "She really didn't want to give it up, but I convinced her that it was a felony to take it since it was an antique. Burned up pretty easy after I put the lighter fluid to it."

Your jaw had dropped. "Are you kidding me?! You've already-"

"Hey, y/n." Sam said, smiling, obviously not taking in your expression yet.

"This is... great." You pushed past Sam and out to your car. You spent days looking for that stupid pipe and the Winchesters came in and finished the entire hunt in less that eight hours. You drove to your own dirty-ass motel and grabbed your bottle of whiskey from your car before walking into your room. You sat cross-legged on the bed and started to pull deep gulps of amber liquid into your body. You hated asking for help. You hated asking men for help, especially, after dealing with so many misogynistic male hunters. You'd been hunting just as long as the Winchesters, but somehow they always seemed to completely dominate any hunt they happened to have... even if you were already on that hunt first.

Your motel doorknob jingled as it was picked and you pulled your knife from your belt and tossed it at the intruder as soon as the door opened. Sam's face ducked out of the way just in time for the knife to miss him. "Y/n."

"Go away, Winchester."

"Winchesters." Dean corrected, picking up your knife and sliding in behind Sam.

"Go. Away." You stood, swiping your knife out of Dean’s hand and sliding it back into the holder.

“Come on, y/n. You asked for help. We helped.” Dean defended.

“I asked for help and you took over before I even finished asking. You finished the hunt without me. You-” You shook your head. “Do you know how hard it was for me to even make that call, man? To admit that I need help? And you came in and-and were completely disgusting with me and you’d already sent Sam off to finish up Adamson and why are you smiling?!”

He was smirking as he looked down at you. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Are you kidding me?!”

“Nope. Absolutely adorable.”

“Would you speak to a man like that?” You ground out through clenched teeth.

Sam chuckled, sitting on your bed. “If he was being cute, sure.”

“You’re an asshole. Both of you are assholes. Is that genetic or learned?”

Dean’s face went faux-thoughtful. “Gotta be genetic. Our dad was an asshole. Our grandpa on Mom’s side, too.”

“Might be cultural, though. Dad and Grandpa were both hunters, so maybe it’s a hunter trait.” Turning to Sam showed his face in the same faux-thoughtful expression.

You rolled your eyes and flopped down on your bed next to Sam, picking up your bottle and taking a drink. “It’s definitely a hunter trait.”

“Might be why you’re an asshole, too.” Dean said, standing in front of you and looking down.

“I am not.”

“You’re joking, right? All you’ve done is glare and gripe at me and Sam since you met us. I’m pretty sure you do that to every hunter you come across. You’re a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man, right?”

You bit your tongue as he spoke then nodded. “Right.”

“Yeah, well, it makes you come off like an asshole. You didn’t even try to get to know us before you decided we weren’t worth your time.” Sam said.

“Well…” You bit your tongue harder. They were right. Unfortunately. “Fine. Let’s get to know each other, then.”

Dean’s eyebrows raised. “Okay. What do you wanna know?”

“This was your idea, Winchester. I’m just tryin’ not to be an asshole.”

“All right. How much booze you got?” Dean asked.

“Two more bottles of whiskey and a six of Sam Adams in the mini-fridge. Why?” You asked, looking at the bottle in your hand. Half-full.

“Drinking game. Never Have I Ever.” Dean walked over to the fridge and pulled out the six pack of beer. “We’ll start slow.”

You set your whiskey on the side table and took the beer Dean offered. “Really? What are we, sixteen?”

“Come on. What better way is there to find out about folks? Conversation?” Dean dropped to the bed and the force caused you to bounce.

“I feel like drinking games were designed specifically to get people laid. There’s no point in it other than asking each other risque questions and forcing the consumption of too much alcohol in an effort to lower inhibitions.” But you twisted the cap off the beer, anyway.

“Of course that’s the point. Lower inhibitions, at least. Maybe you’ll be more friendly with a couple in you.” Sam twisted the cap off of his beer and shrugged. “Who’s first?”

“I’ll go.” Dean offered. “Never Have I Ever worn Crocs.”

Sam rolled his eyes and took a drink of his beer. “Never Have I Ever listened to the same song on repeat for two hours.”

Dean smiled and took a drink before nodding at you. “Never Have I Ever fucked some random chick I met just hours before.”

“Low blow.” Dean said as he and Sam both drank.

“The point of this is for you to get drunker than me, right? That’s how you win this game, right?”

“Well, we know she’s competitive.” Sam chuckled.

“Never Have I Ever sent a dirty picture.” Dean said. Neither you nor Sam drank. “Well, that’s disappointing.”

“Never Have I Ever joined a dating app.” Sam’s words made you and Dean both drink.

“Tinder?” Dean asked.

You shrugged, looking down at your nails. “Match. Everybody on Tinder treats it like sex on tap. Not really what I’m looking for.”

“And what are you lookin’ for, ‘cause you kinda put off an aura of ‘don’t come near me’ to anyone who might… you know, understand your life.” Dean commented.

“Hunters… men in general, they just want one thing… and then absolutely nothing else.” You shrugged. “I want what my parents had. I want love, with a side of saving people together.”

“What, you don’t like sex?”

“Dean.” Sam admonished.

“Never Have I Ever had sex that was worth the Walk of Shame the next day.” You answered.

“Wow. That’s kinda sad, y/n.” Sam said, quietly.

“Drink.” You insisted.

“No. Because I’m not ashamed of any sex I’ve ever had so I’ve never had a Walk of Shame.” Dean said, matter-of-factly. “And in that vein, Never Have I Ever had a Walk of Shame.”

You and Sam both took a drink. “Never Have I Ever faked an orgasm.” Sam said. You drank.

“Never Have I Ever masturbated to the thought of a friend.” You said. Both Winchesters drank.

“Never Have I Ever been a disgruntled bitch because I have no sex life.” Dean said, pointedly.

You glared at him, but didn’t drink. “Y/n, you know the rules. You gotta drink if you’ve done the thing.” Sam chided with a smile.

“I am not a disgruntled bitch because I don’t have a sex life.” You bit out.

“No? Then why are you?” Dean asked, cockily. You stayed silent, but you refused to drink. “No, seriously. When’s the last time you got laid? Better yet, when’s the last time you had an orgasm that wasn’t aided by batteries?”

You didn’t respond, so Sam scoffed. “Never Have I Ever gone more than six months without achieving orgasm through sex.”

You rolled your eyes and took a drink. “Never Have I Ever wanted to be done with a game as much as I want to be done with this one.”

“Never Have I Ever gone more than a year without achieving orgasm through sex.” Dean said. Obviously they weren’t going to be letting this go. You drank.

Sam and Dean shared a look, speaking almost telepathically, before Sam said, “Never Have I Ever gone more than… five years without achieving orgasm through sex.” You drank, rolling your eyes. Sam’s eyes went wide. “Have you ever cum?”

You downed the rest of your beer and tossed the bottle to the side. “I think the game’s done. You boys know far more about me than you did when you walked in the room, so… good night.” You reached over and picked up the whiskey, but Dean grabbed the bottle.

“This is a problem, y/n. Who in the world can go that long without-”

“I have never had a guy that could or cared to… seriously, why does it matter?” You grabbed your bottle back and took a drink.

The Winchesters both looked at you a bit like you’d lost your mind. “Because you’re hot, you’re badass, and every woman deserves someone who can make their toes curl.” Dean answered.

“Let me guess, you’re about to volunteer.” You snarked before you took a drink of whiskey.

“Damn straight.” Sam said.

“But we’re not gonna fuck you.” Dean grabbed your whiskey again and set it back on the side table. “If you’ll let us, y/n, we’re gonna worship you.”

Your jaw dropped. That was an enticing offer. The Winchesters, as much as you’d tried to hate them, were very attractive men, offering to worship you, to make you cum. Punctuated with ‘If you’ll let us’. It was completely up to you.

Stupid drinking game. You knew it was a game you’d lose. Not that you really cared about losing anymore.

“How would you… ‘worship’ me?” You asked, a foreign breathy quality to your words.

They grinned, identical wolf-like smiles that made your breath catch. “Well, we’d start by kissing the oxygen out of your lungs.” Sam leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. He wasn’t lying. He didn’t pull away until you had to breathe. Dean gave you just enough time to pull air into your body before he grabbed your head and pulled you to kiss him. Neither had even employed tongue, but by the time Dean pulled away, your body was flush with heat and between your legs was tingling.

“We’d help you out of your top.” Dean grabbed the front hem of your t-shirt and Sam grabbed the back, raising it over your head. Their eyes roamed down your body and they each ran their fingertips across the skin of your stomach. “We’d give you matching hickies, ‘cause neckin’ still feels awesome even if you aren’t sixteen.” Dean whispered, before attaching his mouth to your neck while Sam started to nibble at your shoulder.

“Fuck.” You whimpered, as Dean pulled away to examine his mark.

“My turn.” Sam almost growled, before moving from your shoulder to your neck.

“You look so fuckin’ strung out already, y/n. See, this is what happens when you don’t get some for fuckin’ years.” Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours as Sam increased suction. This time, Dean pressed his tongue between your lips, which you opened eagerly. Your tongues pressed against each other, swirling around the space between your mouths. While you were preoccupied with Dean, Sam’s fingers unclasped your bra and started to slide the straps down your arms. “Then, we’d suck on these pretty tits.” Sam leaned down and ran his tongue across your right nipple. Dean pushed you backward to lay down and they both sucked a nipple into their mouths. You started to squirm against them, the tingling heat between your thighs demanding attention so you squeezed them together.

“And then one of us would keep lavishing your lips and tits with love and kisses, and the other…” Dean smirked, running his hand down your body to settle just over the button of your jeans. “...the other would take his tongue and try to lick your cervix.”

You let out a scoffing laugh. “Feel like Sam would be more suited to that job.”

Sam chuckled around your breast, giving a final lick to your nipple before pulling away and down your body. Your pants and panties were on the ground at your feet in no time, Sam between your legs, placing kisses up your thigh as his long fingers ran slowly up and down your slit. Dean’s hand went to massage the breast Sam abandoned, but his mouth moved up to your neck, leaving little biting kisses along the way to your mouth.

The younger Winchester slid a single finger inside of you, probably his middle finger but you couldn’t see because you were too busy with your hands buried in Dean’s hair, making out like his tongue was the cure for anything that ailed you. You moaned into Dean’s mouth as Sam added a second finger, pumping them quickly as his tongue started flicking across your clit. Dean pulled back, rolling your nipple between his fingertips and staring into your eyes. “You’re doin’ so good, y/n. You look like you’re about to explode, princess.” You nodded, barely able to think, let alone respond verbally. “I’m the lucky one. He gets to taste you, but I get to see your face when you cum.”

You clenched around Sam’s fingers at the words, which intensified the feeling of his thrusts and brought you right up to the edge of an oblivion you’d only been able to reach on your own. Sam’s lips sealing around your little bundle of nerves sent you screaming into the abyss. Dean kissed you as you came down from the high and when you sat up, panting and looked at them, there was amazement in your eyes. “How you feelin’?” Sam asked, dropping onto the bed next to you.

You opened your mouth slightly, but no words came out. Dean chuckled. “For once in her life she doesn’t have some snarky bullshit response.”

You shook your head, laughing. “I’m just thinking… Never Have I Ever been fucked by two guys at once.” You laughed harder as they started to undress. Yes, this was a game you were happy to lose.

[cloudbatcave]

Back in Unova we go!

My first gripe is the Skyarrow Bridge, which connects Nacrene (the town that had the museum Plasma stole from, prompting me to be press-ganged to chase them) to Castelia (the new york city ripoff of the game).

It’s pretty! It’s cool in concept! It’s Nintendo holding it up with trembling hands and going “look, ma, I can do 3D now! Sort of!”

Iit’s a giant pain in the ass to get through as it takes at least a minute of keeping your finger on the B button to run across.

Normally I wouldn’t even have cared, so let’s rewind a bit to why I do.

So I finished kicking the shit out of Plasma, nothing notable there except that I kept getting jumped by ranger trainers who gave me berries like the weird hippies they are.

I nonchalantly jumped over a ridge to get out of the forest…only to realize I had trapped myself between that ridge (which, for those blissfully not in the know, cannot be jumped back over because in pokemon games they only work one way) and the rest of the trainers on the non-forest part of the route I hadn’t fought yet because I had been busy with the game’s resident brainwashed multitude of cosplaying weirdos.

This was an issue because at this point in the game, I do not have much money, and I had only been able to afford so many potions, most of which I had used to heal while either fighting trainers or wild pokemon. My guys were wiped, and several fights stood between me and the Nacrene pokemon center.

So that meant I had to trundle my ass toward the end of the route, take the bridge to Castelia, go to ITS pokemon center, and THEN go back and finish off the other trainers before turning right around again.

It’s especially galling considering that gen 5 has an NPC that will heal you…in the other part of the forest. But not, you know, where it would be actually helpful during the game’s plot portion.

On the more amusing side of things, it’s always funny to see how dumb Plasma is. When I beat up the last of them, one of the seven sages showed up and talked about how the skull they stole wasn’t the pokemon they were looking for anyway.

Who saw that coming?? It was obviously a dragonite skull, not a legendary. I just…it’s such a dumb excuse to have this plot bit. The writing for Team Plasma is so poor.

Picking up in Castelia, I walk around exploring that and meet some folks.

“Working women are beautiful, and battling pokemon is wonderful!” This chick knows where it’s at.

“Being healthy’s the best, because when you’re healthy you can do anything!”

You’re not wrong, random man, but I hope you don’t say this to just anyone who passes by because I feel it’s a tad insensitive to say to...literally anyone who isn’t the pinnacle of health.

“When my thrown poke ball rocks three times and I hear that great “click”…There are many things in my life that bring me joy!”

Can we not all relate? Good content, A+.

“Strength is not in the size of a body, it’s in the size of a heart!”

I mean…strength is in a heart, literally and metaphorically? It is also in the size of a body. Both are true, random old docks man.

“That black boat…what could it be?”

The people of Unova are not very genre savvy at the best of times.

It isn’t very open-minded to judge someone by the color of their boat, but given this is pokemon, you’d be justified in preemptively setting it on fire to deter the Obviously Evil People who own it.

I innocently walk down a street and then Fuckface Glassesdick pops out of the gym at me like the world’s worst whack-a-mole.

“Hey, Chirae. I just challenged Burgh. He’s a seasoned Gym Leader. He made me work for that badge!”

Post it on your twitter, Cheren, because your 1.5 followers and a shoelace care more than I do.

“But for me, bug-type pokemon aren’t much of a challenge.”

Look at the big man in town, not intimidated by the pokemon type that has three weaknesses and five types that resist it. Very brave.

“I’m going to keep winning like this against all of the Unova region’s Gym Leaders!”

Sorry, what was that? I tuned out because I was imagining literally anything else but you talking.

“Then, I’ll head for the Pokemon League and outperform the champion!”

No one likes Alder, and yet, somehow, I feel you would be an even worse replacement because you don’t even have cool hair to make you slightly less intolerable.

“If I do that, everyone will admit what a strong Trainer I am…”

I would rather be fed live slugs.

“That will make feel truly alive…”

Am I being paid for this therapy session? I deserve compensation for the tedium being forcibly shoved down my earholes right now.

Oh thank god he finally walked away.

And then Burgh makes an entrance, naturally.

“Ah hah! You’re the one who fought Team Plasma in the Pinwheel Forest…”

Yeah dude that happened like, yesterday. You don’t need to announce it. I remember. I was there.

“If I remember, your name is…Chirae!”

I honestly do not give a fuck if you remember my name, as I intend on forgetting yours after I get your badge.

“Come to challenge the gym, I suppose?”

What gave it away? Was it me standing outside the gym looking like I really wanted to hit a smug prick with glasses and dark hair?

“Aww. Sorry, but could you wait a bit?”

You’re going to give me a fetch quest, aren’t you.

“I was informed that Team Plasma has shown up!”

EVEN WORSE. Yet again I ask where the fucking police are. We’re not in artsy fartsy town anymore, Castelia is a whole-ass city. Why in god’s name is there not some way of keeping the peace that isn’t random trainers?

“In fact…Come with me! I’m going to the dock at Prime Pier!”

Who writes the child labor laws in unova? Monkeys?

also I have not finished ambling around the city yet and that is incredibly more important than this travesty of a plot so Burgh gets to wait on me now.

and he zips off into the night, just assuming I know where he’s headed in this city I literally only arrived in today.