Masterlist Cassie/ 31/ single mom/ chunky-monkey/ fangirl (primarily SPN/ Marvel/ RPFs)/ writing since I was 11/ I met God and Gabe in a bar/ I'm a motherfuckin' 🦄
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So...I cannot draw. This is a truth of my life, right? My art is words and songs, but...my child has been encouraging me to try to draw. They can draw so they are sure I can draw.
I can't draw because I keep trying to draw from nothing. I have aphantasia (I don't 'see' images in my head... I'm a 4)

So things never look right when I draw them.
But you know what I can do? Use my autistic ability to copy shit. I can't draw anything from my brain, but I can recreate other people's stuff pretty well.
Maybe someday I'll be able to turn this ability into an actual artistic thing, but for now... I'm liking just kinda...making pretty things for my office walls.




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Did I not ever post Losses and Gains 7? I really thought I did. Well, shoot. I am gonna set up a bunch of posts because I have a lot of content now. Just gotta get the stuff ready, summaries and whatnot.
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hi hi, i have been a follower for a while now and somehow barely stumbled upon the It’s Only Natural series! is it completed?
It is not completed! I was just battling the worst writer's block I've ever faced and the content ground to a halt. I am writing again, but haven't picked ION back up yet. But I will!
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The sister just said "I want my brothers back" and I just...this show is like an AU of Supernatural and I can't...
Also...first Russell Shaw episode...right out the door with the "Hey, little brother."
Started watching Tracker. I swear, if I look away from the screen, I hear Dean Winchester's voice coming out of this dude's mouth sometimes. The fact that they cast Jensen as the brother is just...perfect casting.
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Started watching Tracker. I swear, if I look away from the screen, I hear Dean Winchester's voice coming out of this dude's mouth sometimes. The fact that they cast Jensen as the brother is just...perfect casting.
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Y'all.
I have so much stuff done.
Just need to type it up and set it to post.
So much.
I'm so happy.
~~~
Things ya girl done with
High Walls in Gotham ch 2
Houseguest (Spike from Buffy and Empath!reader)
Local Legends ch6 and ch7
Retrograde ch 1(completely changed from what it was gonna be, it's now a Jason Todd fic...where Jason loses his memory...already angsty AF)
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Ya know...the more Jason I read, the more I want to throttle Bruce for his mistreatment and neglect of the boy. He didn't stop being your son just cause he died...or because he came back pissed off and killed a few bad men. You didn't even visit him in prison! Rude. Just...rude.
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High Walls in Gotham

Author’s Note: I'm so happy to be back!
Summary: Jason has known Y/n since they were running together on the streets. Now that they’re in their 20s, Jason is Red Hood cleaning up the streets of Gotham with bullets and blood, and Y/n is White Witch, the criminal elite’s favorite fence and Black Mask’s favorite advisor. With their places in Gotham so opposed, does their past even matter?
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Word count: 3438
Story Warnings: a bit of angst and mutual pining.
~~~
When rain falls in Gotham, it turns an already-dark city into a cloud of ink-colored oil slick. The city doesn’t care, though. It keeps going through the rain. Businessmen do their business, taxis run their fares, criminals plot their crimes, and heroes foil them.
Jason Todd continues through the rain, too. Three parts hero, two parts criminal, and one part little boy who never really grew up.
My security system goes off to inform me that I have a visitor approaching the door of the apartment. A blur of black and red passes the camera as I pull up the video on my phone. I get to my door and open it, just as he raises his hand to knock. It takes him by surprise and gives me a chance to get a good look at him. Red hood and matching mask, brown fatigue pants, black and red boots. His eyes are grey today.
He covers his shock quickly and pushes into my living room. “Shipment of guns coming in. Big one. I want details.”
“Please, come in, Jason. Would you like anything? A drink or perhaps a lesson in manners?” I greet him as I shut the door.
“Save it. I want names, dates, times. Now,” he demands, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me.
“Come on. If I knew something, I’d tell you. Sounds like you know more than I do.”
His eyes narrow further and I can tell he’s wishing he could intimidate me like he does other criminals. Well, it’s just too bad for him that I know him too well. “Quit playing dumb, Y/n. You get your fingers into any pie you can reach in this city. Last time an arms shipment came through, you were the one who told me about it.”
“Exactly.” I cross my arms and look bored. “I knew something, I told you. This time I don’t know anything, so that is why I have nothing to tell you.”
Jason glares more before sighing. “Fine. Let’s play a game. You answer a question honestly, and I’ll leave.”
I smile and nod. “Sure.”
“Who are you working for right now? And don’t even try that self-employed bullshit. You’re always in someone’s pocket.”
I lick my lips and take a breath. “Black Mask,” I respond.
“Black Mask again, huh? Figures. He’s the only one crazy enough to work with you repeatedly without killing you. ‘Kay, next question.”
I put my hand on my chest in mock offense. “Are you trying to wound me, Jason?” I nod. “All right, then. Next question.”
“You dating him?”
“What?”
“Dating, fucking, whatever.”
I laugh out loud, the sound echoing through my suite. “Are you serious, right now? I’d never let Roman touch me! He’s rich but he’s a fucking psycho. I have standards!”
“So you aren’t protecting him because you’re screwing him. So why are you protecting him?”
“I’m not protecting him. Black Mask doesn’t need me to protect him.” I shake my head. “I don’t know about any shipment of guns. I swear.”
He stares at me, examining my face for any trace of deception. He sighs when he doesn’t find any. “Something’s not right. I know guns are coming in. I’ve heard a dozen people whispering about it, but no one knows anything.”
“Have you asked your former mentor? Or any of the other birdies?” I ask, taking a step closer to him.
He tenses at the mention of his former family, jaw tight and anger in his posture. “Damn it. You think they might know something?”
“I learned a long time ago that Batman and Robin know what’s going on in this city. Much to chagrin.”
“Yeah. Which means they know about you working for Black Mask. They know you’re working with any criminal who throws money at you.”
I blink at him a few times before smiling tightly. “I’m not a stripper; no one throws money at me.” I step toward my kitchen, turning my back so he won’t see my emotions on my face. “And I’m a small fry. If they know about me, I’m likely listed as ‘nameless fence slash goon number 3’.”
I grab a beer from my fridge and distract myself with opening and drinking it. “You think I believe you’re just a fence?” he challenges, following me into the kitchen. “I know you better than that.”
“What, exactly, do you think I do, then, Jason?”
“Black Mask keeps you around for a reason, Y/n. If you’re not fucking him, you’re advising him, and if you’re advising him…” He grabs my shoulders and forces me to face him. “Then you’re protecting him, and if you’re protecting him, you’re lying to me.”
“I protect myself and those I care about. Roman doesn’t qualify,” I respond, glaring slightly as I look up into his eyes. “Now, I answered your questions. I’m done with your game. You can leave now.”
I move away from him, intent to show him the door, but he grabs my elbow to stop me. “I’m not-” he starts, but I’m done with our conversation. I spin back, gun from my back holster pressed against his temple.
“Let’s not,” I say coldly.
He looks at the gun for a moment. “You’re not left-handed. Think you could actually-”
“Safety’s already off and I doubt accuracy would matter much at this range. Would you like to meet God again?”
I’d never pull the trigger but he doesn’t know that. He puts his hands up and steps back. “Fine. I’ll talk to Dick, see if he knows anything.”
“Good idea,” I say as he walks toward the door.
“Oh, and, uh,” he turns at the door and smirks at me. “Your safety is on.”
I roll my eyes as he leaves. Of course the safety was on. I wouldn’t actually clock him with a loaded gun if the safety wasn’t safe. I sigh and take a seat on my sofa. I hate that I love that idiot. As terrible as it seems, I would’ve been better off emotionally if he had just stayed dead.
~~~
I spend a lot of time at the Black Mask Club. Roman likes having me around…and I like people-watching. There’s so much information that can be gleaned from watching interactions. I watch a couple clowns walk in, followed by the pigtail-wearing blond. Joker doesn’t follow, but the fact that his goons are with her says that Harley and Joker are back together. Wonderful. I approach and offer a smile to the clowns before Harley turns to me.
“White Witch! It’s been forever!” She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture. She shoos away the goons and offers me a seat next to her at the bar. “Yer a fixture here lately, ain’ ya?
“Even when I’m not on his payroll, it’s a good idea to keep tabs on what Roman’s up to.” I throw a look at the goons. “I see you’re back with Facepaint.”
She shrugs. “Aw, Mr. J ain’t so bad. He bought me this bracelet to apologize.” She shows off a diamond tennis bracelet I recognize as having been stolen a week ago.
“You know I don’t judge, Harley, but-”
“Yeah, ya do,” she argues. “Yer still salty that my puddin’ put down your puddin’.”
I smile politely. “I do not now, nor have I ever had, a ‘puddin’. I’m just saying…deserve better.”
“Does she now?” A higher pitched manic voice behind me says. I have to work to keep the smile on my face as the clown joins Harley at the bar. “I give Harley everything she could ever ask for.”
“Of course! A happier woman, I’ve never seen,” I force out, keeping the smile despite the fact that I want to take a crowbar to Joker’s stupid, smiling face. “You two have a good night. Enjoy your drinks.” I turn away and walk toward Roman in the VIP.
“What crawled up her stovepipe and died?” Joker asks.
“She’s just lonely. Don’t worry ‘bout her.” At least Harley has the decency to keep her observations about me and Jason to herself. The last thing I need is for that clown monster to know I have a soft spot worth exploiting.
“Fuckin’ clown,” Roman says as I step up into the VIP area.
“I didn’t know you had a problem with Joker,” I say as I grab a glass of wine and take a seat beside him.
“Everyone with half a mind has a problem with that crazy fuck. He’s unpredictable.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you, Roman.”
“Has nothing to do with me bankrolling your lifestyle, then?” he jokes.
“Absolutely not,” I respond with a smirk. I take a sip of wine and settle in for the night, trying to ignore the clowns. Joker doesn’t deserve to be sitting in a bar with a beautiful woman at his side. He doesn’t deserve the cushy cell in Arkham that he’ll be in next time Batman takes him off the streets. Joker deserves an unmarked grave in a pauper’s graveyard. Of course, Batman would never put him down. He’d never do the right thing. He’d only do what he thought was right.
Jackass.
~~~
I leave the Black Mask Club at about 2 in the morning. I wave off the bodyguards that want to walk me to my car. I don’t need them. I sigh when I see Red Hood leaning against my car door. “Two nights in a row. You’re gonna make me think you’re sweet on me, Hood.”
“So I was thinking about our talk, ya know, before you pulled your gun on me,” he starts, ignoring my comment as he stands up straight. “You said you protect the ones you care about. I didn’t think there was anyone you cared about besides yourself.”
I nod, faking a thoughtful expression. “You’re right. You know me so well. I do only care for myself.”
“No, I’m thinking I was wrong, actually. I think there must be someone you actually give a fuck about.”
I push past him to open my car door but he puts his hand on the door to prevent me from moving. I push down my anger and look up at him. “Years ago, there was a dumbass boy I gave a fuck about, but he died about a decade ago.” I take a deep breath and look up into the eyes of his mask.
His posture changes but I can’t see expression because of that fucking mask. “Sorry. I was just-”
I roll my eyes, happy that it went over his head. “You were just pushing my buttons.”
“I was teasing. I didn’t think… what happened?” he asks, stepping back to let me open my door.
“Gotham happened,” I respond before getting in my car and turning it on. He steps back and I peel out of the parking lot.
I wish he would leave me the fuck alone sometimes. I had to see him dead already. I had to mourn him already. I can’t see him die again, not for this city and not for the goddamn Bat.
I wish I really was as cold and heartless as people think I am.
~~~
“Think we got one of ‘em to take the bait,” Roman says when I enter his office in the morning. I offer him a cup of coffee and take a seat in the armchair in front of his desk.
“Yeah? Did you get the Bat to bite?”
“No. Un-fucking-fortunately, I think it’s the other one…not the kid, the other bird.”
“Nightwing? Used to be Robin?” I ask, my stomach dropping a bit.
“Yeah. These idiot ‘heroes’ and their stupid fuckin’ names,” Roman sneers.
“Like Black Mask and White Witch and Poison Ivy and fuckin’ Calendar Man?” I snap, my heart racing with fear. Jason went to Dick. Dick is going to lead Jay into a trap.
“You got a fuckin’ problem, bitch?” Roman growls, leaning forward.
I lick my lips and shake my head. “Ya know, I think I might be PMSing. You need me to stick around or can I go home?”
“Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Don’t need your fucking attitude,” he dismisses. I stand and walk out of his office, forcing myself to walk to avoid his attention, but I want to run. I need to warn Jason. Now.
I race to Jason’s apartment, swerving through cars and going 80 in a 45. I screech to a stop, easily parking in front of the building and running inside. I slam my fist into the wood of his door. I wait a few seconds then hit the door again. Jason finally opens the door and I push into his apartment. He looks over at me, exhaustion on his face. He runs his hand through his hair as he closes his door.
“I hope you have a good reason to wake me up when-”
“Shut the fuck up and listen to me,” I interrupt. His eyes go wide at my tone. “Do not go to the docks tonight.”
His eyebrows come together in confusion. “How do- Wait.” He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me. “You lied to me. You do know about the guns.”
“Of course I do; it’s my job to know this shit. The point was for you not to know because it’s a fucking trap.” I step closer to him. “Roman was hoping to catch the Bat so he put rumors out in the world about the guns. It’s not for you.”
“What, you were gonna let Black Mask kill-”
“Yes! Let Bruce finally get what’s coming to him, sure! But not you,” I insist. “Not again.”
Jason blinks a few times before his expression softens. “You know I can’t just let those guns into the city.”
“Let someone else take care of it, Jason. Please,” I whisper.
He runs his hand through his hair. “Who? Especially knowing it’s a trap, who can I give it to?”
“Give it to Gordon. Let GCPD actually do their jobs for once. Or tell Batman. Let him know it’s a trap, that way he can prepare, but don’t walk into that shit.”
“Dick and I-”
I grab his shirt and look up into his eyes. “Don’t. Go.”
He looks shocked at the intensity in my expression. “Okay. I’ll…toss it to someone else.”
I sigh in relief and let go of his shirt. “Good.” I move to leave, but his hand wraps around my wrist and I turn back to look at him,. He’s looking down at his ugly carpet, white strands of hair falling into his eyes.
“That dumbass boy from your past that you were talking about… is he…”
I scoff and shake my head a little. Had to know he’d figure it out after this. “Still a dumbass with anger issues despite being murdered years ago? Yeah.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “What if…this dumbass…what if he cared about you, too?”
I take a deep breath as tears threaten my eyes. “Then he’d be a bigger dumbass than I thought ‘cause he’d be clinging to me the way I’ve been clinging to him.”
He takes an audible breath, his fingers tightening around my wrist. “You’re clinging to the real him… the old him. Do you want him back? That him, not the… ghost you’ve been talking to?”
I shake my head, the tears finally welling up. “You’re not a ghost, Jay. You came back…and you’ve been angry, but… anyone who doesn’t understand…they never fucking understood you in the first place,” I say, thinking about Batman admonishing him for becoming the Hood.
He looks over at me, his eyes green and wet with unshed tears. “Do you? Do you understand why I became the Red Hood?”
“Of course.” I discretely wipe my eyes and clear my throat. “You grew up seeing the same thing I did, the true darkness in the heart of Gotham. Then Batman took you from the streets and gave you a purpose more than just surviving. He taught you his morals and gave you a place at his side and that place next to him, it got you killed. And then…”
“And then I came back… broken and changed,” he says, his voice low.
“No. Not broken.” I blink away more tears. “Changed. Of course you changed. You came back different, angry at the way his morals put you in a place to…” I look down, anger filling me. “Joker should never have been allowed to live after the first time he escaped Arkham. Throwing them in jail over and over does fucking nothing. It’s a stupid cycle that Batman perpetuates because he knows that he is nothing if he doesn’t have anyone to fight against. You shouldn’t have had to pay that price for him.”
He looks over at me, shocked by some part of my diatribe. “You…” he starts, his voice cracking.
I lick my lips and take a deep breath to try to regain the composure I usually pride myself on. “When Bruce Way adopted you, I was so jealous. Even when I watched the Boy Wonder beat up my dad’s drug dealer and I heard your voice from under that stupid domino mask… I was happy for you. But when Joker killed you… I wanted to kill Bruce. It was his fault.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “If I’d been older, if I hadn’t been a 15 year old girl with no access to billionaire Bruce Wayne… I would have tried, but I knew I couldn’t get close enough.”
“You still feel that way? After all these years?”
“Never stopped.” I clear my throat and pull my hand away from him. “Anyway.”
“Don’t ‘Anyway’ me. We need to talk about this.”
“What do we have to talk about? This doesn’t change anything. You’re still going to be trying to clean up the seedy underbelly of Gotham…and I’m still going to be stuck in that seedy underbelly. We can’t stop being who we are and we can’t afford to be each other’s weaknesses.”
Jason nods. “I get that but I want…can’t we just talk a bit longer?”
I take a breath and step back. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Tell me something I don’t know about you. Something I missed after I left you behind to go play hero with Bruce.”
I tuck my hair behind my ears and look at his dirty carpet beneath our feet. “I used to dream of moving away somewhere, having a normal life. Used to dream of living that normal life…with that dumbass boy.”
“Yeah? What happened to that dream? What shattered it?” He moves to try and catch my eyes. “Was it the boy? Or because of Batman?”
I look up, smiling tightly. “It was me, actually. I realized that I’m never gonna make it out of Gotham. It was a nice dream though. It’s still kinda my happy place, where I go to rest my mind when the real world gets too harsh.”
“Tell me about the dream life. Where do we live? What do we do?” he asks quietly.
“A little farm in the middle of nowhere. Upstate somewhere, ya know. Just some chickens and goats roaming around. I’d work at the diner in town and you’d do something with your hands…mechanical stuff, maybe. We would have breakfast every morning on the porch and watch the sunset every night.”
Jason’s eyes get misty. “And what about kids? Are there…kids in the dream?”
I smile softly. “Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just us but sometimes there’s a baby.”
“And we’re…happy? Together on that farm, we’re happy?” he asks, his voice practically a whisper.
“That’s how I know it’s a dream, silly. Gotta be fake if I’m happy.”
“So, you’re saying…” His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “...being happy with me is only possible in your dreams?”
I laugh humorlessly. “You tell me, Jason.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “You know it’s not that simple. We can’t just throw away our responsibilities, our missions. But God, I wish we could.”
I smile sadly and pat his chest. “Exactly. We’re both still here and, well, we aren’t going anywhere…together or otherwise.”
“Dammit. We’re stuck, aren’t we?”
“Yeah,” I confirm softly. “But we’re alive. Stay that way for me, Jason. Please.”
“I can do that…for your…happy place.”
I go to my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek. “Thank you, my dumbass boy,” I say before pulling open his door and running down the stairs.
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High Walls in Gotham

Author’s Note: I'm so happy to be back!
Summary: Jason has known Y/n since they were running together on the streets. Now that they’re in their 20s, Jason is Red Hood cleaning up the streets of Gotham with bullets and blood, and Y/n is White Witch, the criminal elite’s favorite fence and Black Mask’s favorite advisor. With their places in Gotham so opposed, does their past even matter?
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Word count: 3438
Story Warnings: a bit of angst and mutual pining.
~~~
When rain falls in Gotham, it turns an already-dark city into a cloud of ink-colored oil slick. The city doesn’t care, though. It keeps going through the rain. Businessmen do their business, taxis run their fares, criminals plot their crimes, and heroes foil them.
Jason Todd continues through the rain, too. Three parts hero, two parts criminal, and one part little boy who never really grew up.
My security system goes off to inform me that I have a visitor approaching the door of the apartment. A blur of black and red passes the camera as I pull up the video on my phone. I get to my door and open it, just as he raises his hand to knock. It takes him by surprise and gives me a chance to get a good look at him. Red hood and matching mask, brown fatigue pants, black and red boots. His eyes are grey today.
He covers his shock quickly and pushes into my living room. “Shipment of guns coming in. Big one. I want details.”
“Please, come in, Jason. Would you like anything? A drink or perhaps a lesson in manners?” I greet him as I shut the door.
“Save it. I want names, dates, times. Now,” he demands, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me.
“Come on. If I knew something, I’d tell you. Sounds like you know more than I do.”
His eyes narrow further and I can tell he’s wishing he could intimidate me like he does other criminals. Well, it’s just too bad for him that I know him too well. “Quit playing dumb, Y/n. You get your fingers into any pie you can reach in this city. Last time an arms shipment came through, you were the one who told me about it.”
“Exactly.” I cross my arms and look bored. “I knew something, I told you. This time I don��t know anything, so that is why I have nothing to tell you.”
Jason glares more before sighing. “Fine. Let’s play a game. You answer a question honestly, and I’ll leave.”
I smile and nod. “Sure.”
“Who are you working for right now? And don’t even try that self-employed bullshit. You’re always in someone’s pocket.”
I lick my lips and take a breath. “Black Mask,” I respond.
“Black Mask again, huh? Figures. He’s the only one crazy enough to work with you repeatedly without killing you. ‘Kay, next question.”
I put my hand on my chest in mock offense. “Are you trying to wound me, Jason?” I nod. “All right, then. Next question.”
“You dating him?”
“What?”
“Dating, fucking, whatever.”
I laugh out loud, the sound echoing through my suite. “Are you serious, right now? I’d never let Roman touch me! He’s rich but he’s a fucking psycho. I have standards!”
“So you aren’t protecting him because you’re screwing him. So why are you protecting him?”
“I’m not protecting him. Black Mask doesn’t need me to protect him.” I shake my head. “I don’t know about any shipment of guns. I swear.”
He stares at me, examining my face for any trace of deception. He sighs when he doesn’t find any. “Something’s not right. I know guns are coming in. I’ve heard a dozen people whispering about it, but no one knows anything.”
“Have you asked your former mentor? Or any of the other birdies?” I ask, taking a step closer to him.
He tenses at the mention of his former family, jaw tight and anger in his posture. “Damn it. You think they might know something?”
“I learned a long time ago that Batman and Robin know what’s going on in this city. Much to chagrin.”
“Yeah. Which means they know about you working for Black Mask. They know you’re working with any criminal who throws money at you.”
I blink at him a few times before smiling tightly. “I’m not a stripper; no one throws money at me.” I step toward my kitchen, turning my back so he won’t see my emotions on my face. “And I’m a small fry. If they know about me, I’m likely listed as ‘nameless fence slash goon number 3’.”
I grab a beer from my fridge and distract myself with opening and drinking it. “You think I believe you’re just a fence?” he challenges, following me into the kitchen. “I know you better than that.”
“What, exactly, do you think I do, then, Jason?”
“Black Mask keeps you around for a reason, Y/n. If you’re not fucking him, you’re advising him, and if you’re advising him…” He grabs my shoulders and forces me to face him. “Then you’re protecting him, and if you’re protecting him, you’re lying to me.”
“I protect myself and those I care about. Roman doesn’t qualify,” I respond, glaring slightly as I look up into his eyes. “Now, I answered your questions. I’m done with your game. You can leave now.”
I move away from him, intent to show him the door, but he grabs my elbow to stop me. “I’m not-” he starts, but I’m done with our conversation. I spin back, gun from my back holster pressed against his temple.
“Let’s not,” I say coldly.
He looks at the gun for a moment. “You’re not left-handed. Think you could actually-”
“Safety’s already off and I doubt accuracy would matter much at this range. Would you like to meet God again?”
I’d never pull the trigger but he doesn’t know that. He puts his hands up and steps back. “Fine. I’ll talk to Dick, see if he knows anything.”
“Good idea,” I say as he walks toward the door.
“Oh, and, uh,” he turns at the door and smirks at me. “Your safety is on.”
I roll my eyes as he leaves. Of course the safety was on. I wouldn’t actually clock him with a loaded gun if the safety wasn’t safe. I sigh and take a seat on my sofa. I hate that I love that idiot. As terrible as it seems, I would’ve been better off emotionally if he had just stayed dead.
~~~
I spend a lot of time at the Black Mask Club. Roman likes having me around…and I like people-watching. There’s so much information that can be gleaned from watching interactions. I watch a couple clowns walk in, followed by the pigtail-wearing blond. Joker doesn’t follow, but the fact that his goons are with her says that Harley and Joker are back together. Wonderful. I approach and offer a smile to the clowns before Harley turns to me.
“White Witch! It’s been forever!” She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture. She shoos away the goons and offers me a seat next to her at the bar. “Yer a fixture here lately, ain’ ya?
“Even when I’m not on his payroll, it’s a good idea to keep tabs on what Roman’s up to.” I throw a look at the goons. “I see you’re back with Facepaint.”
She shrugs. “Aw, Mr. J ain’t so bad. He bought me this bracelet to apologize.” She shows off a diamond tennis bracelet I recognize as having been stolen a week ago.
“You know I don’t judge, Harley, but-”
“Yeah, ya do,” she argues. “Yer still salty that my puddin’ put down your puddin’.”
I smile politely. “I do not now, nor have I ever had, a ‘puddin’. I’m just saying…deserve better.”
“Does she now?” A higher pitched manic voice behind me says. I have to work to keep the smile on my face as the clown joins Harley at the bar. “I give Harley everything she could ever ask for.”
“Of course! A happier woman, I’ve never seen,” I force out, keeping the smile despite the fact that I want to take a crowbar to Joker’s stupid, smiling face. “You two have a good night. Enjoy your drinks.” I turn away and walk toward Roman in the VIP.
“What crawled up her stovepipe and died?” Joker asks.
“She’s just lonely. Don’t worry ‘bout her.” At least Harley has the decency to keep her observations about me and Jason to herself. The last thing I need is for that clown monster to know I have a soft spot worth exploiting.
“Fuckin’ clown,” Roman says as I step up into the VIP area.
“I didn’t know you had a problem with Joker,” I say as I grab a glass of wine and take a seat beside him.
“Everyone with half a mind has a problem with that crazy fuck. He’s unpredictable.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you, Roman.”
“Has nothing to do with me bankrolling your lifestyle, then?” he jokes.
“Absolutely not,” I respond with a smirk. I take a sip of wine and settle in for the night, trying to ignore the clowns. Joker doesn’t deserve to be sitting in a bar with a beautiful woman at his side. He doesn’t deserve the cushy cell in Arkham that he’ll be in next time Batman takes him off the streets. Joker deserves an unmarked grave in a pauper’s graveyard. Of course, Batman would never put him down. He’d never do the right thing. He’d only do what he thought was right.
Jackass.
~~~
I leave the Black Mask Club at about 2 in the morning. I wave off the bodyguards that want to walk me to my car. I don’t need them. I sigh when I see Red Hood leaning against my car door. “Two nights in a row. You’re gonna make me think you’re sweet on me, Hood.”
“So I was thinking about our talk, ya know, before you pulled your gun on me,” he starts, ignoring my comment as he stands up straight. “You said you protect the ones you care about. I didn’t think there was anyone you cared about besides yourself.”
I nod, faking a thoughtful expression. “You’re right. You know me so well. I do only care for myself.”
“No, I’m thinking I was wrong, actually. I think there must be someone you actually give a fuck about.”
I push past him to open my car door but he puts his hand on the door to prevent me from moving. I push down my anger and look up at him. “Years ago, there was a dumbass boy I gave a fuck about, but he died about a decade ago.” I take a deep breath and look up into the eyes of his mask.
His posture changes but I can’t see expression because of that fucking mask. “Sorry. I was just-”
I roll my eyes, happy that it went over his head. “You were just pushing my buttons.”
“I was teasing. I didn’t think… what happened?” he asks, stepping back to let me open my door.
“Gotham happened,” I respond before getting in my car and turning it on. He steps back and I peel out of the parking lot.
I wish he would leave me the fuck alone sometimes. I had to see him dead already. I had to mourn him already. I can’t see him die again, not for this city and not for the goddamn Bat.
I wish I really was as cold and heartless as people think I am.
~~~
“Think we got one of ‘em to take the bait,” Roman says when I enter his office in the morning. I offer him a cup of coffee and take a seat in the armchair in front of his desk.
“Yeah? Did you get the Bat to bite?”
“No. Un-fucking-fortunately, I think it’s the other one…not the kid, the other bird.”
“Nightwing? Used to be Robin?” I ask, my stomach dropping a bit.
“Yeah. These idiot ‘heroes’ and their stupid fuckin’ names,” Roman sneers.
“Like Black Mask and White Witch and Poison Ivy and fuckin’ Calendar Man?” I snap, my heart racing with fear. Jason went to Dick. Dick is going to lead Jay into a trap.
“You got a fuckin’ problem, bitch?” Roman growls, leaning forward.
I lick my lips and shake my head. “Ya know, I think I might be PMSing. You need me to stick around or can I go home?”
“Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Don’t need your fucking attitude,” he dismisses. I stand and walk out of his office, forcing myself to walk to avoid his attention, but I want to run. I need to warn Jason. Now.
I race to Jason’s apartment, swerving through cars and going 80 in a 45. I screech to a stop, easily parking in front of the building and running inside. I slam my fist into the wood of his door. I wait a few seconds then hit the door again. Jason finally opens the door and I push into his apartment. He looks over at me, exhaustion on his face. He runs his hand through his hair as he closes his door.
“I hope you have a good reason to wake me up when-”
“Shut the fuck up and listen to me,” I interrupt. His eyes go wide at my tone. “Do not go to the docks tonight.”
His eyebrows come together in confusion. “How do- Wait.” He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me. “You lied to me. You do know about the guns.”
“Of course I do; it’s my job to know this shit. The point was for you not to know because it’s a fucking trap.” I step closer to him. “Roman was hoping to catch the Bat so he put rumors out in the world about the guns. It’s not for you.”
“What, you were gonna let Black Mask kill-”
“Yes! Let Bruce finally get what’s coming to him, sure! But not you,” I insist. “Not again.”
Jason blinks a few times before his expression softens. “You know I can’t just let those guns into the city.”
“Let someone else take care of it, Jason. Please,” I whisper.
He runs his hand through his hair. “Who? Especially knowing it’s a trap, who can I give it to?”
“Give it to Gordon. Let GCPD actually do their jobs for once. Or tell Batman. Let him know it’s a trap, that way he can prepare, but don’t walk into that shit.”
“Dick and I-”
I grab his shirt and look up into his eyes. “Don’t. Go.”
He looks shocked at the intensity in my expression. “Okay. I’ll…toss it to someone else.”
I sigh in relief and let go of his shirt. “Good.” I move to leave, but his hand wraps around my wrist and I turn back to look at him,. He’s looking down at his ugly carpet, white strands of hair falling into his eyes.
“That dumbass boy from your past that you were talking about… is he…”
I scoff and shake my head a little. Had to know he’d figure it out after this. “Still a dumbass with anger issues despite being murdered years ago? Yeah.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “What if…this dumbass…what if he cared about you, too?”
I take a deep breath as tears threaten my eyes. “Then he’d be a bigger dumbass than I thought ‘cause he’d be clinging to me the way I’ve been clinging to him.”
He takes an audible breath, his fingers tightening around my wrist. “You’re clinging to the real him… the old him. Do you want him back? That him, not the… ghost you’ve been talking to?”
I shake my head, the tears finally welling up. “You’re not a ghost, Jay. You came back…and you’ve been angry, but… anyone who doesn’t understand…they never fucking understood you in the first place,” I say, thinking about Batman admonishing him for becoming the Hood.
He looks over at me, his eyes green and wet with unshed tears. “Do you? Do you understand why I became the Red Hood?”
“Of course.” I discretely wipe my eyes and clear my throat. “You grew up seeing the same thing I did, the true darkness in the heart of Gotham. Then Batman took you from the streets and gave you a purpose more than just surviving. He taught you his morals and gave you a place at his side and that place next to him, it got you killed. And then…”
“And then I came back… broken and changed,” he says, his voice low.
“No. Not broken.” I blink away more tears. “Changed. Of course you changed. You came back different, angry at the way his morals put you in a place to…” I look down, anger filling me. “Joker should never have been allowed to live after the first time he escaped Arkham. Throwing them in jail over and over does fucking nothing. It’s a stupid cycle that Batman perpetuates because he knows that he is nothing if he doesn’t have anyone to fight against. You shouldn’t have had to pay that price for him.”
He looks over at me, shocked by some part of my diatribe. “You…” he starts, his voice cracking.
I lick my lips and take a deep breath to try to regain the composure I usually pride myself on. “When Bruce Way adopted you, I was so jealous. Even when I watched the Boy Wonder beat up my dad’s drug dealer and I heard your voice from under that stupid domino mask… I was happy for you. But when Joker killed you… I wanted to kill Bruce. It was his fault.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “If I’d been older, if I hadn’t been a 15 year old girl with no access to billionaire Bruce Wayne… I would have tried, but I knew I couldn’t get close enough.”
“You still feel that way? After all these years?”
“Never stopped.” I clear my throat and pull my hand away from him. “Anyway.”
“Don’t ‘Anyway’ me. We need to talk about this.”
“What do we have to talk about? This doesn’t change anything. You’re still going to be trying to clean up the seedy underbelly of Gotham…and I’m still going to be stuck in that seedy underbelly. We can’t stop being who we are and we can’t afford to be each other’s weaknesses.”
Jason nods. “I get that but I want…can’t we just talk a bit longer?”
I take a breath and step back. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Tell me something I don’t know about you. Something I missed after I left you behind to go play hero with Bruce.”
I tuck my hair behind my ears and look at his dirty carpet beneath our feet. “I used to dream of moving away somewhere, having a normal life. Used to dream of living that normal life…with that dumbass boy.”
“Yeah? What happened to that dream? What shattered it?” He moves to try and catch my eyes. “Was it the boy? Or because of Batman?”
I look up, smiling tightly. “It was me, actually. I realized that I’m never gonna make it out of Gotham. It was a nice dream though. It’s still kinda my happy place, where I go to rest my mind when the real world gets too harsh.”
“Tell me about the dream life. Where do we live? What do we do?” he asks quietly.
“A little farm in the middle of nowhere. Upstate somewhere, ya know. Just some chickens and goats roaming around. I’d work at the diner in town and you’d do something with your hands…mechanical stuff, maybe. We would have breakfast every morning on the porch and watch the sunset every night.”
Jason’s eyes get misty. “And what about kids? Are there…kids in the dream?”
I smile softly. “Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just us but sometimes there’s a baby.”
“And we’re…happy? Together on that farm, we’re happy?” he asks, his voice practically a whisper.
“That’s how I know it’s a dream, silly. Gotta be fake if I’m happy.”
“So, you’re saying…” His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “...being happy with me is only possible in your dreams?”
I laugh humorlessly. “You tell me, Jason.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “You know it’s not that simple. We can’t just throw away our responsibilities, our missions. But God, I wish we could.”
I smile sadly and pat his chest. “Exactly. We’re both still here and, well, we aren’t going anywhere…together or otherwise.”
“Dammit. We’re stuck, aren’t we?”
“Yeah,” I confirm softly. “But we’re alive. Stay that way for me, Jason. Please.”
“I can do that…for your…happy place.”
I go to my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek. “Thank you, my dumbass boy,” I say before pulling open his door and running down the stairs.
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High Walls in Gotham

Author’s Note: I'm so happy to be back!
Summary: Jason has known Y/n since they were running together on the streets. Now that they’re in their 20s, Jason is Red Hood cleaning up the streets of Gotham with bullets and blood, and Y/n is White Witch, the criminal elite’s favorite fence and Black Mask’s favorite advisor. With their places in Gotham so opposed, does their past even matter?
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Word count: 3438
Story Warnings: a bit of angst and mutual pining.
~~~
When rain falls in Gotham, it turns an already-dark city into a cloud of ink-colored oil slick. The city doesn’t care, though. It keeps going through the rain. Businessmen do their business, taxis run their fares, criminals plot their crimes, and heroes foil them.
Jason Todd continues through the rain, too. Three parts hero, two parts criminal, and one part little boy who never really grew up.
My security system goes off to inform me that I have a visitor approaching the door of the apartment. A blur of black and red passes the camera as I pull up the video on my phone. I get to my door and open it, just as he raises his hand to knock. It takes him by surprise and gives me a chance to get a good look at him. Red hood and matching mask, brown fatigue pants, black and red boots. His eyes are grey today.
He covers his shock quickly and pushes into my living room. “Shipment of guns coming in. Big one. I want details.”
“Please, come in, Jason. Would you like anything? A drink or perhaps a lesson in manners?” I greet him as I shut the door.
“Save it. I want names, dates, times. Now,” he demands, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me.
“Come on. If I knew something, I’d tell you. Sounds like you know more than I do.”
His eyes narrow further and I can tell he’s wishing he could intimidate me like he does other criminals. Well, it’s just too bad for him that I know him too well. “Quit playing dumb, Y/n. You get your fingers into any pie you can reach in this city. Last time an arms shipment came through, you were the one who told me about it.”
“Exactly.” I cross my arms and look bored. “I knew something, I told you. This time I don’t know anything, so that is why I have nothing to tell you.”
Jason glares more before sighing. “Fine. Let’s play a game. You answer a question honestly, and I’ll leave.”
I smile and nod. “Sure.”
“Who are you working for right now? And don’t even try that self-employed bullshit. You’re always in someone’s pocket.”
I lick my lips and take a breath. “Black Mask,” I respond.
“Black Mask again, huh? Figures. He’s the only one crazy enough to work with you repeatedly without killing you. ‘Kay, next question.”
I put my hand on my chest in mock offense. “Are you trying to wound me, Jason?” I nod. “All right, then. Next question.”
“You dating him?”
“What?”
“Dating, fucking, whatever.”
I laugh out loud, the sound echoing through my suite. “Are you serious, right now? I’d never let Roman touch me! He’s rich but he’s a fucking psycho. I have standards!”
“So you aren’t protecting him because you’re screwing him. So why are you protecting him?”
“I’m not protecting him. Black Mask doesn’t need me to protect him.” I shake my head. “I don’t know about any shipment of guns. I swear.”
He stares at me, examining my face for any trace of deception. He sighs when he doesn’t find any. “Something’s not right. I know guns are coming in. I’ve heard a dozen people whispering about it, but no one knows anything.”
“Have you asked your former mentor? Or any of the other birdies?” I ask, taking a step closer to him.
He tenses at the mention of his former family, jaw tight and anger in his posture. “Damn it. You think they might know something?”
“I learned a long time ago that Batman and Robin know what’s going on in this city. Much to chagrin.”
“Yeah. Which means they know about you working for Black Mask. They know you’re working with any criminal who throws money at you.”
I blink at him a few times before smiling tightly. “I’m not a stripper; no one throws money at me.” I step toward my kitchen, turning my back so he won’t see my emotions on my face. “And I’m a small fry. If they know about me, I’m likely listed as ‘nameless fence slash goon number 3’.”
I grab a beer from my fridge and distract myself with opening and drinking it. “You think I believe you’re just a fence?” he challenges, following me into the kitchen. “I know you better than that.”
“What, exactly, do you think I do, then, Jason?”
“Black Mask keeps you around for a reason, Y/n. If you’re not fucking him, you’re advising him, and if you’re advising him…” He grabs my shoulders and forces me to face him. “Then you’re protecting him, and if you’re protecting him, you’re lying to me.”
“I protect myself and those I care about. Roman doesn’t qualify,” I respond, glaring slightly as I look up into his eyes. “Now, I answered your questions. I’m done with your game. You can leave now.”
I move away from him, intent to show him the door, but he grabs my elbow to stop me. “I’m not-” he starts, but I’m done with our conversation. I spin back, gun from my back holster pressed against his temple.
“Let’s not,” I say coldly.
He looks at the gun for a moment. “You’re not left-handed. Think you could actually-”
“Safety’s already off and I doubt accuracy would matter much at this range. Would you like to meet God again?”
I’d never pull the trigger but he doesn’t know that. He puts his hands up and steps back. “Fine. I’ll talk to Dick, see if he knows anything.”
“Good idea,” I say as he walks toward the door.
“Oh, and, uh,” he turns at the door and smirks at me. “Your safety is on.”
I roll my eyes as he leaves. Of course the safety was on. I wouldn’t actually clock him with a loaded gun if the safety wasn’t safe. I sigh and take a seat on my sofa. I hate that I love that idiot. As terrible as it seems, I would’ve been better off emotionally if he had just stayed dead.
~~~
I spend a lot of time at the Black Mask Club. Roman likes having me around…and I like people-watching. There’s so much information that can be gleaned from watching interactions. I watch a couple clowns walk in, followed by the pigtail-wearing blond. Joker doesn’t follow, but the fact that his goons are with her says that Harley and Joker are back together. Wonderful. I approach and offer a smile to the clowns before Harley turns to me.
“White Witch! It’s been forever!” She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture. She shoos away the goons and offers me a seat next to her at the bar. “Yer a fixture here lately, ain’ ya?
“Even when I’m not on his payroll, it’s a good idea to keep tabs on what Roman’s up to.” I throw a look at the goons. “I see you’re back with Facepaint.”
She shrugs. “Aw, Mr. J ain’t so bad. He bought me this bracelet to apologize.” She shows off a diamond tennis bracelet I recognize as having been stolen a week ago.
“You know I don’t judge, Harley, but-”
“Yeah, ya do,” she argues. “Yer still salty that my puddin’ put down your puddin’.”
I smile politely. “I do not now, nor have I ever had, a ‘puddin’. I’m just saying…deserve better.”
“Does she now?” A higher pitched manic voice behind me says. I have to work to keep the smile on my face as the clown joins Harley at the bar. “I give Harley everything she could ever ask for.”
“Of course! A happier woman, I’ve never seen,” I force out, keeping the smile despite the fact that I want to take a crowbar to Joker’s stupid, smiling face. “You two have a good night. Enjoy your drinks.” I turn away and walk toward Roman in the VIP.
“What crawled up her stovepipe and died?” Joker asks.
“She’s just lonely. Don’t worry ‘bout her.” At least Harley has the decency to keep her observations about me and Jason to herself. The last thing I need is for that clown monster to know I have a soft spot worth exploiting.
“Fuckin’ clown,” Roman says as I step up into the VIP area.
“I didn’t know you had a problem with Joker,” I say as I grab a glass of wine and take a seat beside him.
“Everyone with half a mind has a problem with that crazy fuck. He’s unpredictable.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you, Roman.”
“Has nothing to do with me bankrolling your lifestyle, then?” he jokes.
“Absolutely not,” I respond with a smirk. I take a sip of wine and settle in for the night, trying to ignore the clowns. Joker doesn’t deserve to be sitting in a bar with a beautiful woman at his side. He doesn’t deserve the cushy cell in Arkham that he’ll be in next time Batman takes him off the streets. Joker deserves an unmarked grave in a pauper’s graveyard. Of course, Batman would never put him down. He’d never do the right thing. He’d only do what he thought was right.
Jackass.
~~~
I leave the Black Mask Club at about 2 in the morning. I wave off the bodyguards that want to walk me to my car. I don’t need them. I sigh when I see Red Hood leaning against my car door. “Two nights in a row. You’re gonna make me think you’re sweet on me, Hood.”
“So I was thinking about our talk, ya know, before you pulled your gun on me,” he starts, ignoring my comment as he stands up straight. “You said you protect the ones you care about. I didn’t think there was anyone you cared about besides yourself.”
I nod, faking a thoughtful expression. “You’re right. You know me so well. I do only care for myself.”
“No, I’m thinking I was wrong, actually. I think there must be someone you actually give a fuck about.”
I push past him to open my car door but he puts his hand on the door to prevent me from moving. I push down my anger and look up at him. “Years ago, there was a dumbass boy I gave a fuck about, but he died about a decade ago.” I take a deep breath and look up into the eyes of his mask.
His posture changes but I can’t see expression because of that fucking mask. “Sorry. I was just-”
I roll my eyes, happy that it went over his head. “You were just pushing my buttons.”
“I was teasing. I didn’t think… what happened?” he asks, stepping back to let me open my door.
“Gotham happened,” I respond before getting in my car and turning it on. He steps back and I peel out of the parking lot.
I wish he would leave me the fuck alone sometimes. I had to see him dead already. I had to mourn him already. I can’t see him die again, not for this city and not for the goddamn Bat.
I wish I really was as cold and heartless as people think I am.
~~~
“Think we got one of ‘em to take the bait,” Roman says when I enter his office in the morning. I offer him a cup of coffee and take a seat in the armchair in front of his desk.
“Yeah? Did you get the Bat to bite?”
“No. Un-fucking-fortunately, I think it’s the other one…not the kid, the other bird.”
“Nightwing? Used to be Robin?” I ask, my stomach dropping a bit.
“Yeah. These idiot ‘heroes’ and their stupid fuckin’ names,” Roman sneers.
“Like Black Mask and White Witch and Poison Ivy and fuckin’ Calendar Man?” I snap, my heart racing with fear. Jason went to Dick. Dick is going to lead Jay into a trap.
“You got a fuckin’ problem, bitch?” Roman growls, leaning forward.
I lick my lips and shake my head. “Ya know, I think I might be PMSing. You need me to stick around or can I go home?”
“Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Don’t need your fucking attitude,” he dismisses. I stand and walk out of his office, forcing myself to walk to avoid his attention, but I want to run. I need to warn Jason. Now.
I race to Jason’s apartment, swerving through cars and going 80 in a 45. I screech to a stop, easily parking in front of the building and running inside. I slam my fist into the wood of his door. I wait a few seconds then hit the door again. Jason finally opens the door and I push into his apartment. He looks over at me, exhaustion on his face. He runs his hand through his hair as he closes his door.
“I hope you have a good reason to wake me up when-”
“Shut the fuck up and listen to me,” I interrupt. His eyes go wide at my tone. “Do not go to the docks tonight.”
His eyebrows come together in confusion. “How do- Wait.” He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me. “You lied to me. You do know about the guns.”
“Of course I do; it’s my job to know this shit. The point was for you not to know because it’s a fucking trap.” I step closer to him. “Roman was hoping to catch the Bat so he put rumors out in the world about the guns. It’s not for you.”
“What, you were gonna let Black Mask kill-”
“Yes! Let Bruce finally get what’s coming to him, sure! But not you,” I insist. “Not again.”
Jason blinks a few times before his expression softens. “You know I can’t just let those guns into the city.”
“Let someone else take care of it, Jason. Please,” I whisper.
He runs his hand through his hair. “Who? Especially knowing it’s a trap, who can I give it to?”
“Give it to Gordon. Let GCPD actually do their jobs for once. Or tell Batman. Let him know it’s a trap, that way he can prepare, but don’t walk into that shit.”
“Dick and I-”
I grab his shirt and look up into his eyes. “Don’t. Go.”
He looks shocked at the intensity in my expression. “Okay. I’ll…toss it to someone else.”
I sigh in relief and let go of his shirt. “Good.” I move to leave, but his hand wraps around my wrist and I turn back to look at him,. He’s looking down at his ugly carpet, white strands of hair falling into his eyes.
“That dumbass boy from your past that you were talking about… is he…”
I scoff and shake my head a little. Had to know he’d figure it out after this. “Still a dumbass with anger issues despite being murdered years ago? Yeah.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “What if…this dumbass…what if he cared about you, too?”
I take a deep breath as tears threaten my eyes. “Then he’d be a bigger dumbass than I thought ‘cause he’d be clinging to me the way I’ve been clinging to him.”
He takes an audible breath, his fingers tightening around my wrist. “You’re clinging to the real him… the old him. Do you want him back? That him, not the… ghost you’ve been talking to?”
I shake my head, the tears finally welling up. “You’re not a ghost, Jay. You came back…and you’ve been angry, but… anyone who doesn’t understand…they never fucking understood you in the first place,” I say, thinking about Batman admonishing him for becoming the Hood.
He looks over at me, his eyes green and wet with unshed tears. “Do you? Do you understand why I became the Red Hood?”
“Of course.” I discretely wipe my eyes and clear my throat. “You grew up seeing the same thing I did, the true darkness in the heart of Gotham. Then Batman took you from the streets and gave you a purpose more than just surviving. He taught you his morals and gave you a place at his side and that place next to him, it got you killed. And then…”
“And then I came back… broken and changed,” he says, his voice low.
“No. Not broken.” I blink away more tears. “Changed. Of course you changed. You came back different, angry at the way his morals put you in a place to…” I look down, anger filling me. “Joker should never have been allowed to live after the first time he escaped Arkham. Throwing them in jail over and over does fucking nothing. It’s a stupid cycle that Batman perpetuates because he knows that he is nothing if he doesn’t have anyone to fight against. You shouldn’t have had to pay that price for him.”
He looks over at me, shocked by some part of my diatribe. “You…” he starts, his voice cracking.
I lick my lips and take a deep breath to try to regain the composure I usually pride myself on. “When Bruce Way adopted you, I was so jealous. Even when I watched the Boy Wonder beat up my dad’s drug dealer and I heard your voice from under that stupid domino mask… I was happy for you. But when Joker killed you… I wanted to kill Bruce. It was his fault.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “If I’d been older, if I hadn’t been a 15 year old girl with no access to billionaire Bruce Wayne… I would have tried, but I knew I couldn’t get close enough.”
“You still feel that way? After all these years?”
“Never stopped.” I clear my throat and pull my hand away from him. “Anyway.”
“Don’t ‘Anyway’ me. We need to talk about this.”
“What do we have to talk about? This doesn’t change anything. You’re still going to be trying to clean up the seedy underbelly of Gotham…and I’m still going to be stuck in that seedy underbelly. We can’t stop being who we are and we can’t afford to be each other’s weaknesses.”
Jason nods. “I get that but I want…can’t we just talk a bit longer?”
I take a breath and step back. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Tell me something I don’t know about you. Something I missed after I left you behind to go play hero with Bruce.”
I tuck my hair behind my ears and look at his dirty carpet beneath our feet. “I used to dream of moving away somewhere, having a normal life. Used to dream of living that normal life…with that dumbass boy.”
“Yeah? What happened to that dream? What shattered it?” He moves to try and catch my eyes. “Was it the boy? Or because of Batman?”
I look up, smiling tightly. “It was me, actually. I realized that I’m never gonna make it out of Gotham. It was a nice dream though. It’s still kinda my happy place, where I go to rest my mind when the real world gets too harsh.”
“Tell me about the dream life. Where do we live? What do we do?” he asks quietly.
“A little farm in the middle of nowhere. Upstate somewhere, ya know. Just some chickens and goats roaming around. I’d work at the diner in town and you’d do something with your hands…mechanical stuff, maybe. We would have breakfast every morning on the porch and watch the sunset every night.”
Jason’s eyes get misty. “And what about kids? Are there…kids in the dream?”
I smile softly. “Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just us but sometimes there’s a baby.”
“And we’re…happy? Together on that farm, we’re happy?” he asks, his voice practically a whisper.
“That’s how I know it’s a dream, silly. Gotta be fake if I’m happy.”
“So, you’re saying…” His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “...being happy with me is only possible in your dreams?”
I laugh humorlessly. “You tell me, Jason.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “You know it’s not that simple. We can’t just throw away our responsibilities, our missions. But God, I wish we could.”
I smile sadly and pat his chest. “Exactly. We’re both still here and, well, we aren’t going anywhere…together or otherwise.”
“Dammit. We’re stuck, aren’t we?”
“Yeah,” I confirm softly. “But we’re alive. Stay that way for me, Jason. Please.”
“I can do that…for your…happy place.”
I go to my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek. “Thank you, my dumbass boy,” I say before pulling open his door and running down the stairs.
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Oh, and an Batfamily A/B/O has wormed its way into my brain. Yay.
I have finished the first Red Hood fic (or at least part one of the first Red Hood fic...left it open ended so it can be built upon or left alone) and I'm at the smut of the first Gambit fic!
My current WIPs are:
That's What You Get- Y/n takes Gambit to Vegas for a weekend to forget his troubles after Rogue leaves him. A few drinks too many and the friends wake in bed together with shiny new rings on their hands. (Legit just an excuse for Remy smut)
Take It (might change name later)- sister Wincest that's been done a bunch by other people but meh...i wanna do it. Sam's twin sister got sent away when they were 16 and has been living and hunting away from the boys for years. When John goes missing, Dean grabs her on the way to Jericho.
The Thief and the Elf Princess- High fucking angst territory...with Gambit! Y/n is a mutant who lived her life thinking that she was nothing special and her only mutation was her pointed ears and advanced hearing. Xavier knows there's more to her and brings her to the mansion to help her learn control before her second wave of mutation activates. After several months and making friends with several Mutants (especially Remy), she is feeling good about her life...so of course, something has to change that. (This one's gonna get dark)
The Dance- Y/n has been fighting with Red Hood since she was a teenager. She knows it's not his fault that Batman put her father in prison, but she blames him since Batman let Red Hood walk away from the same fight that got her dad arrested. She never wins, but she keeps coming back to fight again. Maybe she's stubborn, but maybe she just likes the dance.
Retrograde- Stucky x reader! Y/n gets hit with a blast on the battlefield and loses her memories. She doesn't remember being a hero, a super, or an Avenger...and she definitely doesn't remember being Steve and Bucky's girlfriend.
Soldiers and Soulmates - another Stucky poly fic, this one A/B/O with a SPN twist. After TWS, Steve and Bucky disappeared together to rehab. They fell into the world of monster hunting after a vampire encounter and met up with Y/n, who happens to feel very human when fighting next to two super soldiers.
Finished Work-
High Walls in Gotham- Jason has known Y/n since they were running together on the streets. Now that they're in their 20s, Jason is Red Hood cleaning up the streets of Gotham with bullets and blood, and Y/n is White Witch, the criminal elite's favorite fence and Black Mask's favorite advisor. With their places in Gotham so opposed, does their past even matter? *Will be going up in my patreon first, then will be put up here in about a week!*
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Have you watched NBC's Grimm? If so do you plan on ever writing for it?
I watched a few seasons of it. I think I stopped watching around the time Nick lost his Grimmness. I can't remember anything past that. I'd have to rewatch and possibly finish the series before I wrote anything.
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I have finished the first Red Hood fic (or at least part one of the first Red Hood fic...left it open ended so it can be built upon or left alone) and I'm at the smut of the first Gambit fic!
My current WIPs are:
That's What You Get- Y/n takes Gambit to Vegas for a weekend to forget his troubles after Rogue leaves him. A few drinks too many and the friends wake in bed together with shiny new rings on their hands. (Legit just an excuse for Remy smut)
Take It (might change name later)- sister Wincest that's been done a bunch by other people but meh...i wanna do it. Sam's twin sister got sent away when they were 16 and has been living and hunting away from the boys for years. When John goes missing, Dean grabs her on the way to Jericho.
The Thief and the Elf Princess- High fucking angst territory...with Gambit! Y/n is a mutant who lived her life thinking that she was nothing special and her only mutation was her pointed ears and advanced hearing. Xavier knows there's more to her and brings her to the mansion to help her learn control before her second wave of mutation activates. After several months and making friends with several Mutants (especially Remy), she is feeling good about her life...so of course, something has to change that. (This one's gonna get dark)
The Dance- Y/n has been fighting with Red Hood since she was a teenager. She knows it's not his fault that Batman put her father in prison, but she blames him since Batman let Red Hood walk away from the same fight that got her dad arrested. She never wins, but she keeps coming back to fight again. Maybe she's stubborn, but maybe she just likes the dance.
Retrograde- Stucky x reader! Y/n gets hit with a blast on the battlefield and loses her memories. She doesn't remember being a hero, a super, or an Avenger...and she definitely doesn't remember being Steve and Bucky's girlfriend.
Soldiers and Soulmates - another Stucky poly fic, this one A/B/O with a SPN twist. After TWS, Steve and Bucky disappeared together to rehab. They fell into the world of monster hunting after a vampire encounter and met up with Y/n, who happens to feel very human when fighting next to two super soldiers.
Finished Work-
High Walls in Gotham- Jason has known Y/n since they were running together on the streets. Now that they're in their 20s, Jason is Red Hood cleaning up the streets of Gotham with bullets and blood, and Y/n is White Witch, the criminal elite's favorite fence and Black Mask's favorite advisor. With their places in Gotham so opposed, does their past even matter? *Will be going up in my patreon first, then will be put up here in about a week!*
#cassie writes stuff#fanfic#spn fanfic#marvel fanfiction#dc fanfic#red hood#jason todd#reader insert#x men fanfiction#gambit#remy lebeau#wips#angst#smut
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How to be a trans ally 101, from To Wong Foo (1995)
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And now my brain is insisting on sister Wincest...but not the sister Wincest I already have...NEW and shiny Wincest.
I need y'all to understand...I haven't had this problem in fucking decades. I've been able to focus on a thing long enough to get at least a chapter out before my brain hops to another. It's been since HIGH SCHOOL since I had the plot bunny problem.
I need Adderall lol
Can I get the plot bunnies to stop jumping, please? I have gone from "No. Writing no happen ever" to "Here's an idea, and another idea, and a piece of dialogue that can fit into a very specific storyline over here, and you know who's awesome? This character."
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So...a Gambit plot bunny has nested. Anyone interested in a Gambit fic?
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