the first thing a beast forgets is the taste of its own heart.
(a good luck (?) charm for those who are watching the owl house tomorrow since it’s all over the place rn. lemme know how that goes!)
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Got up early (for me), ate a light and healthy breakfast, applied to some jobs, took a long mental health walk with the dogs, gave one of them a bath, and even did some phone calls and messaging regarding my medication and pharmacy problems and managed to sort it out without breaking down!!! And! Showered!! Kicking ASS at mental health today
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gotta stop going from one au to another
anyways br au because yes!!!!!!!!
with dividers because dayum one doodle turned into another and another and another and augh now here I am 2 hours after I originally wanted to post it.
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answering a question with a question
(featuring characters from my webcomic, no more chasing ghosts [x]!)
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the more i rotate him in my mind, the more i really enjoy a genderfluid transmasc tim who is pretty freaked out by his own more fem days because he is so set in thinking he's a guy. he made himself into jack drake's all-star american son as much as he could for years, and it feels like a betrayal of all that time he spent being the son his father always wanted, if he "regresses" into wanting to be a girl again.
what he doesn't realize is that there's a world of difference in being closeted and pretransition vs sometimes wanting to be a masculine figure presenting fem. it's not regression but he's convinced it is bc he has fucking issues. he can separate out disguising himself as a woman as playing a part, but wanting to dress more femme himself sometimes - wanting to look like a boy dressing as a girl? oh that must mean something is wrong with him. he's going to repress this urge really, really hard every time it comes up. and if he snaps at kon for looking like a boy dressing as a girl one day (he's jealous. he can't admit it. he envies that shy delight on kon's face when bart compliments his dress. he knows kon is still exploring and feels tentative and fragile about it. why can't he do that? he just can't. and then kon asks why he's so tense and if he's okay, and a cutting comment he doesn't actually mean slips out...) oops!!!
(of course it gets talked out and resolved. cassie might threaten to throw him off a building if he doesn't admit what's actually bothering him, but they work it out.) but anyway that's beside the point. the point is i really like transmasc tim who isn't as binary about his gender as he has convinced himself he is. and it gives him Problems and Fucking Issues. he needs more problems and fucking issues
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