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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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thanks to doing a few rounds of akinator for winston billions at like 5am last night & the 80th question in one round being abt if your character is in love with someone, i turned to look at the camera like “no,” b/c idk whatever News winston knows of in the finale ep involves rian & while he could be keeping a more personal reaction to himself certainly, we aren’t informed about it, and it’s also a case of like, the material really not trying to touch on him Still crushing on her, such as that he may not actually be doing so, & such as that [who knows why they put that in in the first place if it didn’t matter at all]

but like also then just moving back an episode at a time it’s like well episode eleven sure he doesn’t need to have like courtlily pledged himself to rian but it’s pretty bold to just hop up & go get laid w/a stranger b/c while your would’ve been Crush is drawing other ppl’s attention by singing, you’re looking elsewhere like oh hello =) & that goes for episode ten as well like really Something like here we are at this party & everyone desires rian carnally, Except winston apparently does not lmao, that point would’ve made a world of sense if they Had actually been the ones peacing out to find some narrative consistency, but ig like the hell with that, it’s nihilism no narrative times, in fact rian gets to stop being A Character X’D but anyways folks lol like winston’s really just like “hi gamers, remember how we were talking about my interest lately” (& everyone goes “die” about it like sorry guy) when it might otherwise be prime time to try to stick to rian or at least have a moment like the 5x05 soiree & make a vague pass about something. but it’s taylor’s turn for that, for some reason, why is what all they have happen after 6x08 even like, Conducive to their dynamic resolving to a better place much less apparently required for it lmfao; is this particular step of it just about taylor’s sort of own limitations in navigating their own life lol like happiness?? well i can only maybe get that through dating someone & i can only get That through work, maybe time to see if any positive feelings towards rian could be romantic interest, that’s my best shot....wherein at this point maybe winston sure can’t be hanging off of rian’s arm this evening b/c he has to be out of the way so Taylor & Rian Time can take precedence, which is possibly true re: the next two episodes / the last two episodes of the season lol, is he standing w/trading floor guys in the finale b/c they’re besties now or b/c rian needs to be separate b/c it’s more Taylor & Rian time, not goofing around ft winston’s involvement. But it can also be true that he’s more established as buddies w/tuk at least. like how yeah he may be pushed out of the way all three eps but he may also be more Over rian, bopping up at the party like what’s up? wanting me to die? oh okay bye. then next episode he’s arms out, going off & hooking up w/someone, still sitting & talking w/rian but she takes the opportunity to insult him & there’s no effort to remind us of the quant duo in the finale, just whatever taylor & rian have going on (being the only members of tmc) like both watsonian & doylean exclusion of winston lol

but also taking it back to episode four like, that felt to me like the clearest instance of like “btw remember winston Likes her” but even then it was like “Or Maybe he does simply really wanna hang out & be friends” and that could be the case lol like they sure are tantalizingly close to friendship for much of all this, and they Do go hang out outside of work due to connecting over a Personal Interest as would sorta be the case in this scenario of like “why don’t you take me camping & i’ll bring my honed spatial algorithm” like i’m not about to say he can’t have been that enthused about anticipating forming a genuine friendship, why wouldn’t he be, & it can be both that & a bit of [also remnants of a crush] motivation....and i mean not like we Know what all they got up to while doing media analysis together in ep ten like. yeah feasible that analysis is all they really got up to, could well be intensive, but it also seems feasible you know, there were interludes about other things, anyone have a meal together and/or unrelated conversation? anyone kiss or hook up? it’s a Hilarious(tm) aspect of like, all winston’s dynamics that there’s never any Real resolution like, even now it’s like well i guess riawin’s not truly completely certainly a non factor / possibility at this juncture, but that’s thanks to the fact that you know, characters aren’t regarding him as serious or important, we never get material wherein say, anyone has a real conversation with him that we get to see, or with anyone else About him, or say, their thoughts / feelings on their own relationship / dynamic with him, so in that way it remains this more Ambiguous Zone where you can fill in blanks / What If about what’s unexplored b/c like, sorry, if i was supposed to automatically sense & accept some Factual Premise that winston is a romantic / sexual nonentity & even too much of a joke to have a friend? first of all i did not, second of all you’re the ones telling us he has crushes & exes & is now just going off getting laid cuz he felt like it & is maybe already regular friends with tuk, so what do you want

but anyways you go “even episode burn rate may not Necessarily have been about winston having a crush vs him being aware of this Quant Duo emphasis that’s Been in place & wanting to get Hanging Out / more personal connection out of it” and really that’s like, the main instance all season of anything plausibly abt winston still having a crush on rian. episode one Introduces Them like remember the quant duo?? they’re a duo. remember how we made sure to have winston show up silently in the finale for a few shots of rian standing right beside him? like yes what of it. and then they go well who knows, but here’s episode two, little quant duo moment again. ep three, Really quant duo moments. ep four, this Maybe [remember winston has a crush] thing that might also just be about him trying to explore / extend this duoship Somehow that’s more ambiguous at least. ep five, god, quant duo, ep six, sure leans on the like “why’s rian want to trip him & take his lunch” thing but also we end on her smiling at him / looking to him like “[all this], am i right??” like. ep seven dear god the quant duo. even ep eight like hey they’re standing together, and then aproposly winston just kind of inexplicably vanishes and the ep becomes this combo of taylor & philip and taylor & rian (subset: rian & wags, apparently) material. and then frankly ep nine kind of counts too because it’s Something that for both quants this is the one episode they simply don’t show up for some reason. ok. then obviously the last quarter of the season moves focus to all that and the quant duo material becomes rian ditching winston after hanging w/him all episode, rian insulting winston, winston going :\ about waving through a window at whatever rian and taylor are up to, like genuinely probably his guess is about as good as anyone’s.

it’s also Something Or Other that “rian pwns winston” is a lot more explicit & repeated this season than “is this material based on winston particularly having a crush vs just liking rian more generally / hoping they’re friends?” like ep one she pwns him out of nowhere, prince jumps in too for no reason when he’s supposed to be trying to ingratiate himself to everyone And this is the sole exception we see to that. ep two, why’s she have to go “oh you cannot really surf ever” like why shouldn’t he. ep three, we get winston directly commenting on their dynamic, that rian has and does hurt him & he thinks she’s doing it on purpose (why wouldn’t he, & seems that she is, tf else is going on. and/or else she’s just really unconcerned abt the effect of [hurting him] even if that’s not her main motivation), oh but also people see them as a duo & they’re also operating as one / completely amicable sometimes, such as like 7 sec out from rian pwning him & him going “stop trying to hurt me” & her completely ignoring that. ep four, that she pwns him again but also kind of lets up on it b/c he thought she’d responded positively actually. ep five, for some reason there needs to be an aside from rian about how winston’s not like the vlogger guy or his followers, who aren’t like posited as Respected Parties by anyone anyways, but the only consistency here is foregone conclusion disdain for winston i guess. ep six like he can’t get his phone back lol it’s more indirect like, it’s a Practical Matter for rian & she’s not very concerned about him beyond that, & kind of like “oh right you have your own perspective here, forgot about that smh whatever though” like, not the friendliest, but then suddenly episode seven is like remarkably same wavelength same page Utterly Amicable where go figure, the only particular instance of disdain / dismissiveness towards winston comes from taylor, ep eight no disdain, ep nine they’re both gone, but ep ten & eleven both with giving him shit out of nowhere & for no reason when he’s trying to like, have a conversation, but apparently oh speedrunning personal bonding with taylor with conversations and hugs in there lol like well. discouraging perhaps b/c why wouldn’t it be.....like i totalled up what i’d consider to be like discrete instances of positive (amicable) vs negative (the dislike/disdain realm) moments from rian directed at winston & surprisingly it came out even by my interpretation & count, but it also is like....that shit isn’t weighted lol, distinct instances of rian directing a smile at winston vs going out of her way and verbally insulting him, the smiles have counterparts of shooting him more negative Looks but the verbal insults do not have counterparts of her like complimenting him or hyping him up or anything, so feels a bit uneven still. yet oh also she’s hung out with him outside work for personal reasons, yet oh also she’ll then turn on that shared interest to insult him And the interest he has in it like, violence on an nd wavelength there, that Sharedness of the interest as a point of connection, and for what. taylor’s making a seemingly not not romantic move here that rian rejects but is Still more personally interested in taylor than ever in other ways & sees them as like romantically desirable in theory, & apparently she’s also looking to get some but oops only in the [she’s not operating like She Is A Character Known To Us rather than “yep, this is someone who is a woman, could’ve been fan fave jean anne”] realm, but personal friendly connection with winston???? waste of time, hurt him for it, he doesn’t seem to be making a pass but apparently the abstract Potential of other ppl’s romantic &/or sexual capacities out here is something so motivating & relevant in general otherwise

where’d i even start this post. yeah like going “so where’d winston’s crush on rian end” and maybe it didn’t even make it into this season but really even the duoship was cruising along until ep ten demands rian partly be [Any Woman] suddenly & some Personal Something for taylor which kind of makes sense but idk why it’s not still more of the mentor / mentee business, was this the only way it could progress?? seems like a particularly shaky premise and like, So specific lmao. if that’s the only way to connect to rian Or taylor no wonder winston’s getting nowhere. haha no but really he’s up against the impossible situation where everyone else has negatively judged him & it’s all about the foregone conclusion of [everything about you sucks] (And punishing him for it / treating him worse than any particular individual does other people, certainly) that precludes connection and he can’t just unilaterally put in enough effort in the right ways so that he can create a good relationship b/w him and anyone else, but it Is all unilateral so far as we’ve seen....the tl;dr is like “why’d they do all that then” re: winston textually Liking rian at least in s5 there, but also truly it’s “why’d they do all that then” re: all the obvious emphasis & establishing of rian & winston As A Duo. would hardly be surprising if winston Was shifting more to actively pursuing friendship with tuk, who he interacts with & is interacted with as a friend, and to passively giving up on much of anything with rian, who has to like him at all in some way/s, but where their interactions are mostly on her terms & where she’ll give him shit spontaneously seemingly for her own entertainment, or because he’s like, responded to her / answered a question / provided info / talked abt something relevant to/of interest to them both / agreed with her, & who knows if she’s banked on his Liking her as a reason she’ll never have to like, consciously wonder abt whether she can hurt him enough he won’t be an amicable party towards her / someone she Can talk to at any time, apparently she doesn’t think about consequences (except that also she does, so whatever) & idk doesn’t seem to feel confident in knowing herself or what she wants or what she’s doing so it’s also just feasible idk she doesn’t know what she’s doing with this relationship / isn’t putting a world of Care And Consideration into it, we’ve hardly had a chance to see if winston hanging w/tuk rather than rian or rian & taylor is a pattern that’s been Shifted to rather than that he needed to be out of the way in Serious Finale Zone times & can now go back to mostly being around rian & being as game to talk to her in earnest at any time, seems utterly plausible b/c winston Has to, & Has, put up with anything forever b/c otherwise if the way ppl treated him like, lastingly affected him, he’d lose his panache & personality, or rather, stop expressing it around anyone here. and so far billions hasn’t really let winston have an arc, 5x05 through 5x07 looked the most like one but then after the hiatus it’s like, rian’s desk stuff is gone, her [trademark bi haircut] is grown out, the seeming Hurtling Towards Something just kind of flew out of frame b/c now it’s time to enter into the Rian & Taylor Serious Arc world & never look back......i said tl;dr before but Now tl;dr like what was making it clear winston has a crush about, was it an explanation for him getting over the rivalry immediately. but getting over it so what, they can be friends?? because what is That for, if they don’t get to do that either really, rather winston is determinedly amicable towards her up till now where Maybe he hangs out with tuk when possible as his new default, we can’t know, maybe he’s still just down to suffer forever b/c he does apparently have to do that, taylor hasn’t really given him anything since 5x05 (except the Back Pat the full season later) & he’ll still wear his tmc tee in ep one & doesn’t individually bring up any grievances w/them all season, even if we don’t know whether he’s less hyped about them at the end of the season at all, seems as matter of fact as ever like yep he’s taylor’s quant & he’s here for them, but, is he especially enthused abt anything here....yes, in 6x05, but nothing came of it. will anything come of Quant Duoship overall or was it just something else for rian to do before becoming taylor’s other bestie or something and only employee, will anything come of winston and tuk getting along completely successfully, will anything come of winston material and the fact that he’s actually a person any of these other characters could connect with. tl;dr winston

#pondering your billions fave is a full time job....''will any of this ever result in anything'' continual refrain #dynamics go all over the place in billions but they never really get started w/winston #when other people are friends it's not about one person seeing the other as primarily a joke #rian's only had thorough exchanges with winston offscreen....#if wags or taylor happens to wander onto your crisis go ahead and have a conversation that matters #winston's clearly seeking out conversations casual or otherwise all the time & what of it. he couldn't have anything to say #even when in ep ten it's bookended like rian ''ugh idc abt your interest'' then ''ugh idc abt your interest like yes i'm also interested in #the same Interest but i do not care abt Your interest'' & all their apparent thorough enthused discussions are unseen like oh ok #no idea what to make of the Duoship. has it been a joke. is it even relevant to rian or will being something to taylor be her full time job #like it is lmao but not like they weren't already doing that. and who can even guess abt winston and tuk #possible that even if they're not both punched harder as ''the punching bags are hanging out together'' in universe that like #just the handling by the material is like ah it's silly inconsequential jokes time with the joke guys #not like that apparently can't encompass ''winston earnestly hypes tuk up & everyone loves it & then he goes & gets some'' i'll take it #if billions has never thought / been willing to give winston arcs idk why start now #winston billions #i'll still be strung along hoping for it because if nothing else winston earnestly hopes for xyz so i'm hopign for it too lol #this character sure is [recurring] at all b/c of the Execution Of The Writing vs what was written in the first place....#potentially where plenty of the [winston is autistic] and [winston has genuine feelings] resides. lol. give him an arc ffs...

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multiyandereimagines · 4 years

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Spencer Reid x Male! Yandere! Reader

so this has been requested by someone in my direct messages, (idk if you want to be anonymous but i will do that anyways lol)

request: beginning, y/n joins the BAU and falls for Spencer, blah blah blah the normal thing (lol I’m weird) but when girls flirt with him he gets pissed and kills them. Crosses their arms after as a sign of remorse. And while the BAU is looking for him, he points them in the wrong direction

After another kill, Spencer see’s him killing someone and then he starts to cry cus he feels super bad

and Spencer decides to point them in the wrong direction or sumthin and they have to stop investigating

hope you all enjoy this! ❤️

tw: murder, gore

you and spencer are in some pretty deep shit right now.

i mean you did this all for him, the least he could do would be happy that someone could love him so much to the point of murder.

well before we get ahead of ourselves let’s go back to where this all started.

it was your first day in the bau, you felt excited yet nervous, you thought everyone would hate you. especially with your sexual orientation you worry that you probably wouldn’t fit in.

when you entered the round table everyone looked up at you, you smiled at each and everyone one of them and they smiled back. “welcome agent l/n, this is the team.” hotch started introducing everyone and finally you got to learn their names, one stuck out to you though.

spencer reid.

you felt like you could just die right there looking into his eyes, his messy hair and cute button nose, what’s not to like about him?

you shook his hand, wanting to feel him, “oh i don’t do hand shakes.” god even his voice is sexy.

“oh.. my bad.” you looked down shyly as you sat next to rossi.

“alrighty, so three women have been brutally murdered at this bar, they looked like they had been endlessly tortured, no signs of sexual assault and no one saw anything.” the woman with a colorful dress said, you think her name is penelope.

“clearly he’s a sadist but he doesn’t assault his victims.” morgan said swiping through the mutilated bodies on an ipad.

“someone must have wronged him to make him do these kinds of things to women, it’s clear he hates women.” you said inspecting one of the corpse.

“maybe a sister or a past lover.” spencer then went on to rant about how ted bundy killed his victims and how some of the methods of these killings were similar, he then went on to rant about something else, you were intrigued but hotch stopped him, he blushed and looked up at you, you gave him a smile as he smiled back.

he smiled at you...

your heart felt like it was going to explode, you felt like jumping up and down and yelling at the top of your lungs “he smiled at me, he smiled at me!”

you couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the conversation, until it was time to go the jet.

~~~

you and spencer went to the bar where the murders went down, you asked the female bartender if she saw anything that may have been suspicious or felt sorta weird, she just shook her head, spencer ran up to you, “hey y/n i don’t think he killed them in this bar.. it may have been an alleyway.”

“how would you know?”

“there’s blood..”

your eyes slightly widened, “well hello there, handsome.” the female bartender looked at spencer up and down, he just blushed and looked down shyly, something in you just... snapped. you felt your whole world go down when you saw spencer smiling a little, you looked at the bartender, completely ignoring your presence and just smiled at spencer.

you grabbed his hand and walked away quickly, “okay spence show me to the alleyway.” you quickly said, not wanting to look at that bitch’s face. spencer was confused but he didn’t question it, he looked back at the bartender who was waving at him.

“oh gosh your right, there is a shit ton of blood.” you started to smell something a little funky, you walked to where the smell came from and there was another body that was coated with blood, it looked like something out of a horror movie, you tried to keep your cool, not wanting to seem weak, “spence! another body!” he ran up to you and his jaw dropped slightly at the scene.

“i’ll call hotch.”

~~~

once the day was over you sat on the comfy bed of your hotel room, your mind couldn’t stop thinking about how that bitch flirted with YOUR spencer right in front of you. your mind traveled to complete darkness, and before you knew it you walked out of your hotel room with a silver fork in your hand, you let your legs take control and you knew where you were headed.

you barged into the doors of the bar, you quickly searched for the woman and there she was, serving drinks and smiling all innocently, you scoffed, no way in hell is she innocent.

you approached her and she looked at you surprisingly, “oh hey! aren’t you that fbi dude from earlier?” you nodded, keeping a straight face, “where’s your friend?” she smirked, that’s it.

“i need your help with something, about the killer.” she beamed, “yeah anything!” you motioned for her to follow you and she told someone to cover for her, you led her to the alleyway where the same unsub kills his victims, you turned around and she looked scared, “uh, i-is that blood?” she pointed to the ground, “well yes, it might be.”

you pulled out your fork, you don’t know how you’re going to be able to kill her like this but it’s worth a try.

~~~

there she was... dead.

your fork was all crimson red and your hands were shaking, you felt like crying, how could you do something like this?

what would spencer think?

“fuck... what did i do?” you whisper yelled, your shaky hands traveled her arms, you slowly crossed her arms, guilt washed over you completely.

you slowly stood up and looked at her one last time before taking an anxiety written journey to the hotel.

~~~

“there’s been another murder at the same exact alleyway.” hotch announced, you were sweating bullets but kept your cool. “it’s a whole different m.o. it was just multiple stab wounds with a fork, our unsub does things more brutal than that.” rossi inspected the crime scene, “wait y/n that’s the bartender we talked to yesterday..” spencer looked at you in complete shock, your heart beat quickened, you felt like you were going to throw up. “t-that’s crazy...”

spencer nodded in agreement, you took a deep breath, everything is gonna be okay, you told yourself.

you and spencer told the devastating news to the bartenders sister, as you’d expect she was sobbing, “i’m very sorry for your loss.” you told her, you wanted to cry too, you really wanted to. spencer rubbed her shoulder and like that she started to calm down, “thank you, dr. reid.” she smiled at him, “no no, it’s no problem.” he looked at you and you just gave a sad smile, “i-i may need more help to uh... recover. mind if i ask you for your number, doctor?”

wait what.

you and spencer looked at each other, both of you completely taken aback.

“uh i-“

“i know some really good people that can help you out, i will give you their number instead.” you butted in, she just looked at you annoyingly, “uh.. no thanks.” she stood up and walked out. “that was uh... weird.” spencer blushed a little, you nodded, hiding your anger.

oh god.

the anger is coming back.

shit shit shit.

why now, why with a grieving family member?

i mean she did ask for your spencer’s number.

it’s a good enough reason to get rid of her.

you went to a private location and called up garcia, “what’s up, sugar?”

“hey garcia, i need you to send me an address from someone.”

“oh alright, who?”

“well you know the recent victim’s sister, she asked me for help with something and i don’t want to let her down.”

garcia gasped, “wait... does little y/n have a crush...” you almost choked on your spit, “whoa there, no way, not in a million years would i like a victims family member.”

“whatever you say lover boy, i sent you the address!”

“thanks garcia, your the best.”

~~~

here you go again, this time with a knife, you knocked on the door and the sister opened it, “oh hey, is there a problem?” why did she seem totally normal? shouldn’t she be bawling her eyes out? “uh well i wanted to talk about the numbers i told you about.” she looked bored, “oh... come in, i guess.”

you went inside, you turned around and she noticed the knife you were holding, “uh..”

and just like that you stabbed her, you wanted to stop but your mind traveled to where she asked for your lovers number, and all that anger came rushing in again.

you didn’t notice the door opening and spencer would be the one to look at the horror in front of him, “y/n?? stop! stop it!” he pulled you off of her, you turned your head to see a traumatized spencer reid, “what the- spencer? what are you doing here?” “what am i doing here?? what are YOU doing here?”

you both stood there quietly, then soft sobs came out of your lovers mouth, you looked up and saw spencer crying.

oh god, this was not what you wanted at all...

“fuck... spencer..”

you slowly approached him and hugged him, surprisingly he hugged you back, “w-what did you do...” he sobbed out.

“i’m sorry...”

“the others are gonna find out...”

“are you gonna tell them?”

“...no.”

you pulled back and looked right into his eyes, “you sure?”

“yeah i’m sure.” he sniffed, “i’ll make sure of it.”

there was silence again.

until reid spoke up.

“why did you do all this?” he wiped his tears off of his cheeks.

“i... i love you... like a lot and i don’t know if you’d like me back since i’m a guy and... i don’t know.” you buried your face in your hands, you wanted to cry, scream, destroy everything.

“y/n... this is not the way to get someone to like you-“

“I KNOW THAT! i know that.. fuck!” you cursed, a few tears threatening to spill.

“if- if it makes you feel any better... i’m bisexual...”

“fuck this isn’t the right time to come out.”

you couldn’t help but giggle, “it’s alright.”

~~~

the team tried to catch the guy who commited the two murders but no such luck, they arrested the one responsible for the 3 murders though.

you and spencer looked at each other, he smiled at you as you smiled at him back, secretly holding hands.

#criminal minds #yandere criminal minds #spencer reid #male reader #yandere male reader #spencer reid x male reader #yandere #yandere imagines #imagines #spencer reid imagines #tw murder #tw gore #this took me the entire day bshshzn

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Dash & Lux

Dash: ☀️🧙🏽‍♀️🎶🥁🎸🪕🧚🏿‍♂️🌿🌼🧚🔮💃💫🔥🕺🏻🌳💗🍯🍻

Lux: That is almost exactly what the inside of my head looks like right now!!!

Lux: Is mind-reading a power that is bestowed upon you believers this eve?! 🤔😲

Dash: Right on

Dash: it’s one of many, trust

Lux: I’m ever sadder I can only be an observer now

Lux: Telepathy would be the most useful!

Dash: you gotta open your 👀 at least twice

Lux: I can 👀 at it, all of it in its splendour, just not participate

Dash: Bummer! What’s got you backing off? You don’t look like no wallflower chick to me

Lux: I got the dress code 🌻🌻🌻

Lux: Sunflowers are so strong-looking for flowers, don’t you think?

Lux: Not dainty and delicate

Lux: Well, I’m a Christian and technically this is a Pagan ritual so it’s a big 🚫🚫

Lux: I am finding it super interesting though

Dash: they don’t look strong, they are, babe 🌻🌻🌻 cleaned up Chernobyl, it’s far out what they can do

Dash: its roots, yeah, but we’re not all pagans here & we all still find something to celebrate, you could do St John the Baptist’s birthday as a christian, bonfires were big for that too

Lux: Whaaaaaaaaaat????! TELL ME MORE

Dash: about 🌻🌻🌻 or 🎂🔥🎇🎆?

Lux: 🌻🌻🌻 birthdays are contentious too

Dash: Helianthus annuus, from the Greek helios, meaning ☀️ they can remove poisonous chemicals & metals from the ground, water or air

Dash: they spread rapidly & can stabilize if not totally clear a field in 3 years, it’s 🤯

Lux: I wish I’d gone to school

Lux: Do you know any more fascinating things?

Lux: That sounds like magic

Dash: the world’s full of magic, but it wasn’t school that taught me to recognize it

Lux: Share the secret, kind sir

Dash: you’ve got the 🔑 & this here’s your kingdom, all you have to do is hang out & stay hip to what you 👀👂👃👅

Dash: 🧠➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️

Lux: I’ve 👅 so many wondrous tastes today

Lux: I feel full in so many senses of the word

Lux: How long have you been a member of the kingdom, stranger?

Dash: quest accepted to lay that feeling on you in every sense, then it’ll be a rad celebration

Dash: I’ve been here since I could walk, everywhere else is too big a drag to keep me

Lux: Oh, that’s so kind!

Lux: Everyone is so open and willing to teach me things

Lux: For instance, quick, when’s your birthday, wolf boy

Dash: it’s that kinda space 🦊

Dash: 20th of January 🎂 got me on the cusp ♑♒

Lux: Twins!

Lux: My birthday, which I’ve never celebrated before, is the 20th of March 😱

Lux: Someone, I’m not sure who, was just telling me about the Celtic tree signs

Lux: ‘If you were born in the month of the birch, you probably have a fresh and unusual outlook on life. People born under this Celtic tree astrology sign tend to be highly driven and are always full of zeal and ambition. They always want more and try to reach new horizons and expand their knowledge. Some of the characteristics attributed to the Birch sign are tolerance, toughness, and leadership. The Birch signs can brighten a room with their smile and quickly charm other people’

Lux: Yay or nay 🐺

Dash: you charmed so far or nah? [obviously smiling at her wherever she is as well like heyyy]

Lux: [definition of this emoji 🤭]

Dash: What’s your celtic tree sign?

Lux: ‘Those born under the Alder sign are natural pathfinders. They have the ability to move people and quickly gain followers to their cause. The Alders have a way with words, mingle easily and people love to be around them. They possess a mystic charisma, confidence and strong self-faith. Other character traits are: a good focus on goals and ideas, can’t tolerate fluff and waste.’

Lux: I am unsure but flattered 😊😊😊

Dash: I dig it

Dash: they let you know if we’re compatible? Your ♓♈ cusp makes you mad desirable to all signs

Lux: You need to see who here was born 15th April to 12th May or 2nd September to 29th September

Lux: But it says I’m compatible with you, so how does that work?! 😣

Lux: There’s so much I have to get my head ‘round

Dash: You’re gonna be 🥰💖 for me while I’m 🔍 for a 🐈 or 🐤 born on those dates?

Lux: Hey, that’s way less nice!

Lux: but I can also be looking for people born 13th May to 9th June AND 10th June to 7th July so 😋

Dash: those signs are full of it, trying to make me look uncool but don’t sweat it, I’d never cut you that low, like

Lux: If it’s not in the 💫s I can still say I’m pleased to meet you today as friends, Mowgli

Dash: Look up

Dash: if you don’t see a 🌠 I can show you a 🐺🌟 & 🦊🌟 chasing each other across the sky

Lux: [obviously literally does]

Lux: That’s very Disney 🏰✨

Dash: is that allowed?

Lux: I watched some at a friend’s house one time

Dash: & how was it?

Lux: 😭 but romantic

Dash: Anyone told you the oak king story yet?

Lux: Okay, thank Goodness

Lux: this lady with the dreads and the big back tattoo tried to tell me but I couldn’t understand her 🙊

Lux: Redeem your gentlemanly reputation and save both of us the embarrassment

Lux: Her accent was wild! 🤯

Dash: did her version start with Fadó, fadó?

Dash: wouldn’t be a wild guess

Lux: I won’t credit you with any telepathic skills this time, then

Lux: also I’d need to 👂 it again to confirm fully but yes, I think so

Dash: [send her an utterly unnecessary voice memo]

Lux: It sounds more intriguing when you say it

Dash: [obviously gotta tell her the full story in an irish voice memo purely for the #flex and the flirt cos you know damn well you’re gonna have to translate it, boy]

Lux: 🤩

Lux: Did you learn that here too?

Lux: I’ve lived so many different places and yet I only know the one language

Dash: My ma started it but when the establishment took over it was a bad scene & turned me off for time, last few years here it felt groovy again having that connection & I refound the 💚☘️

Lux: It’s really cool

Lux: it sounds old, or like elvish or something else not real

Dash: it’s a trip, you’ve gotta get someone to teach you while your fly by lasts

Lux: Oh, I live here 😊

Lux: I room with Nora, do you know her?

Dash: Beats me, what’s her deal?

Lux: Her and her brother Finley have been here for a while, but not forever like you

Lux: but there are a lot of people here so I’m not surprised you’re not sure 😅

Dash: not a clue but loads of people are too rattled to wanna get involved, could be her vibe

Dash: or she just ain’t outta sight like you

Lux: She’s totally involved, she secured like all of the sunflowers for today

Lux: well, me and Amber helped but she was definitely the most enthusiastic

Dash: 🌻👑! I do know her, but her in with Amber & instant karma means she’s not gonna mess around with me

Lux: Ooh, what did you do

Dash: jack, Amber’s hassling me cos I’m not trying to be her old man, she gets super rash & things get heavy with 0 slack

Lux: Hmm I shouldn’t have asked 🤐🙉

Dash: ask her why she’s making a move on my older bro now if not to try & lay a trip on me, babe’s lost it

Lux: Whaaaaaaa

Lux: You have a brother?!

Lux: Is he invisible?

Dash: I wish

Lux: Which one is he, point him out

Dash: [points in the direction of their house lol]

Lux: [a face of understanding like oh okay]

Lux: How does Amber know him then?

Dash: from stalking me

Lux: I don’t think she would do that

Lux: She must’ve just bumped into him or something

Dash: at my house, yeah

Lux: It’s cool, it’s not really my business

Dash: open 👀 like I said

Lux: 📖

Dash: that too 🧠💗🤲

Lux: I can agree with that sentiment

Dash: we’re groovy then

Lux: Of course 😊

Lux: enjoy your evening

Dash: back at you, golden girl ☀️🎇👸🏼

Lux: I like your outfit too

Lux: it’s very ☀️🧙🏽‍♀️🎶🥁🎸🪕🧚🏿‍♂️🌿🌼🧚🔮💃💫🔥🕺🏻🌳💗🍯🍻

Dash: [comes over and ties a chain of flowers around her wrist like it’s a friendship bracelet energy]

Lux: [clearly delighted with this]

Dash: [ask her if she wants to dance even though you know damn well she’s only observing because kind of boy you are]

Lux: [so rude lowkey when she’s struggling so hard with what she does and doesn’t believe now, we’re in enough of a dilemma without your help but there we go; thus we will go dance with you because we do want to and we can make arguments that that isn’t joining in with the rituals of it all]

Dash: [he’s lucky Amber is busy because she would fight him, but instead enjoy your dance you two]

Lux: [the audacity of your lies about her, we were so awkward like 😬 anyway, we will have a nice dance though]

Dash: [such a dickhead he can only be humbled by fire, full offense Nora because we’re ignoring you hen cos you’re clearly wise to his bs]

Lux: [there’s clearly a growing group of gals who are unimpressed by your nonsense and that will be interesting to navigate]

Dash: [Definitely, but yeah probably do slip away like a snek before any of those gals do kick your ass]

Lux: 🎃👠🐁🌠🕛

Dash: A 📘 for the 🔥

Lux: 🤔?

Dash: it’s a drag, all that heavy shit with her fam is a bummer, she gets to split but only til 🕛 that’s some 🌠

Lux: Yeah, it’s enough to get help though and then she gets saved

Dash: nah, to get shafted, she don’t get to dance with anyone else there, it’s a scam

Lux: 😅 who else does she need, she’s got the prince, silly!

Dash: someone who recognizes her next day?

Lux: Touche 😏

Lux: Being a 🤴 is a lot of work

Dash: What 🤴 told you that?

Lux: Where to begin

Lux: I’ve known several who would say as much and the 👸s would never disagree

Dash: Fadó, fadó, fadó a bhí ann…

Dash: but I’d shut it down from the beginning, they gotta be shining you on

Lux: I’m going to have to have translate open constantly, I see 😰

Lux: but very noble

Dash: I try, like you & your ☘️ it’s chill we’ve all got your back

Lux: It would be way worse if it was the only language any of you spoke

Lux: thank goodness 😅

Lux: there’s lots more that’s more pertinent for me to get a grip on

Dash: 🧝🧝🏻‍♀️🧝🏽🧝🏾‍♀️

Dash: we’ve got you on the rest too, like, goes without saying

Lux: Most everyone has been super welcoming

Dash: how long have you lived here?

Lux: Not long enough that that’s insulting 😋

Lux: but gosh, a couple of weeks? Must be

Dash: nah I meant cos I don't wanna explain to you what sorta place this is like you're fresh through the door if you've had loads of time to find your own way

Lux: Oh no, I’m a total n00b

Lux: Hazel got me here but I’ve kinda just been left to it since

Lux: Anything you wanna tell me would be appreciated

Dash: did Amber or Nora give you the tour?

Lux: Amber’s been super busy and Nora likes to stay in our room mostly

Dash: not super welcoming

Dash: but it’s no sweat, I’ll show you round, we’ll have a blast

Lux: they’ve both got their own stuff going on, I don’t expect them to drop it for me

Lux: but that would still be cool, thank you!

Dash: say when

Dash: it’ll be as electric under the ☀️ as the 🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌙

Lux: I can 👀 in the dark

Lux: You choose

Lux: find me when you’ve stopped having the MOST fun?

Dash: 🐺🐾🦊

Dash: Meet me in the orchard at midnight, ditching your shoes before

Dash: there’s an 🍏🌳🍎 you can 👀 the whole farm from the top of

Lux: And you’ll remember what I look like?

Dash: you look unreal

Dash: unforgettable

Lux: I got creative with the arts and crafts 🌟⚡️☀️

Lux: I’ve always made my own clothes

Lux: well, I made them for my sisters before

Lux: looking unforgettable was not the end goal there though

Lux: that was for secret

Dash: my nan would be hip to you, she used to make her own clothes, for her girl & her sister too when they wanted, it’s still a vibe for her

Lux: I will make her something then

Lux: what’s her style?

Dash: indescribable

Dash: I’ll show you pics

Lux: Awkward if your nan is cuter than you

Dash: at our age she totally was

Lux: Awh, you’re so sweet

Lux: I have nothing nice to say about my meemaw

Dash: keep it for mine when you meet her

Lux: You’re gonna introduce me to your nan? 😊

Dash: right on, she’ll wanna put whatever you make on for you to 👀 & it’s only a few fields over

Lux: 🏞 it’s a crazy beautiful spot to live, that’s for sure

Lux: so you live with her?

Dash: Yeah, my ma grew up there & when my parents called it quits she wanted to move back

Lux: You’re close-knit

Lux: that’s special

Dash: closer than I am to my da

Lux: Does that upset you?

Dash: I don’t let it upset my equilibrium, he’s uptight, that’s his problem not mine

Lux: I understand

Lux: I don’t agree with my dad on a lot of things

Lux: it’s still sad though

Dash: I got killer people round me, a 2nd family here accepting me for who I am, it ain’t cool he don’t, but they give me what I need

Lux: I’m happy for you

Lux: Seriously

Lux: again, that’s special, you should be really grateful

Dash: I am, believe me

Dash: you’re gonna scope out how special it is here now I’m in charge of showing you everything

Lux: I’d love to see your 🌍 how you see it

Lux: Kinda sounds like everything I need, honestly

Dash: you can, easily when we’re sharing a branch

Lux: 🧚‍♀️ you’re dainty, I trust you won’t let me fall

Dash: I’ll let you fall into something good though, new heights

Lux: Will it hurt?

Dash: no way

Lux: You aren’t pranking me, are you?

Dash: there’s no plastic on me, I’m being real with you

Lux: If you’re gonna try and jump me out in the orchard I’ll have to show you crazy and I really can’t afford to lose this place okay

Lux: so if I believe you right now and you were lying, it’ll be worse than it would’ve been, you feel me?

Dash: Hurting you isn’t my action, I’m about a gentler touch than that

Lux: and I’m not a bully, that’s not my vibe so that’s the warning out of the way

Dash: avenging 👼 I get it

Lux: My costume has you fooled, I think

Dash: Wait, so you’re pranking me?

Lux: No, I swear! 😅

Lux: I don’t feel like I’ve been anywhere near as nice to you as you have to me though

Dash: but you did dance with me & that was choice

Lux: I wanted to

Dash: me too, I wasn’t asking just to be nice

Lux: even though you’re very nice

Lux: I believe that

Dash: I think we’re getting somewhere

Lux: You understand why I’d find a boy like you being interested in me dubious at first, right

Dash: Nah, but I’m listening

Lux: Well it’s embarrassing to say

Dash: alright, listen, I think you’re the most

Dash: I’m embarrassed I’ve not met you before tonight

Lux: There are so many people to meet

Lux: and you’re like the 🤴 of this place, huh

Lux: you have to dance with all the ugly stepsisters too

Dash: if Amber said write that to bait me I’m shutting up

Lux: I think Amber left 🤔

Lux: And who’s calling her ugly, even if you guys have beef, like no way

Dash: & Nora’s gotta be back in your room cos that’s her bag, yeah?

Dash: so where are you?

Lux: I’m in the middle of [one hippie activity] and [another]

Dash: [go find her and dance with her again obvs, we can be bolder about if some of the haters are gone and it’s later so he’s clearly a bit more drunk/high by now too]

Lux: [the way you’re probably sober like how lmao, not saying you always are or will be ‘cos no but gotta have our wits about us ‘cos witchery is afoot; but yeah we all know it can shamelessly way more of a Thing™]

Dash: [at least Amber was too until her row with the bae even if she wasn’t the most present in other ways, so it wasn’t just you gal, but yeah, dispel any remaining fears she may have that you’re not into this please boy with this moment]

Lux: [we know you got your own going on, it’s good, this drama has to happen whether you like it or not babe sorryyyy, when you’re then even more into it because it’s like HELLO IS THIS ALLOWED, so new and fresh to get to remotely be this brazen]

Dash: [shouldn’t LOVE that for you but I do, we should probably let y’all go on your tour then because we’re both in a mood and there’s nobody to separate you]

Lux: [probably, but I will insist on making you wait ‘til midnight regardless]

Dash: [it is a fat mood and I did pick that time deliberately so yeah, dance the night away first hens]

Lux: [sure it’s probably near that time anyways]

Dash: [yeah absolutely]

Lux: [we can skip to the after in this if you like?]

Dash: [are we thinking am like did y’all fall asleep together or?]

Lux: [Hmm, do we go with the Cinderella and have her bounce or do we go against it and not, because then she would think he wasn’t a dick later]

Dash: [even though he’s a dick I still want all the cute I can grab with my smol hands]

Lux: [it’s not like you can’t be like I just fell asleep it’s nbd with it so yeah okay

Dash: [I also like the camber parallel of it all so]

Lux: [true true, we can do it, then you can just have breakfast as a group because duh, was it sunday or monday today?]

Dash: [I think it’s sunday aka Cosmo is having his 2nd date with Ruby tonight and then Camber breakfast dates start monday]

Lux: [okay then you will have to think of a creative way to ditch her then boy hohaha]

Dash: [at least he can just go home because Amber only stayed to angrily eat some fruit and Cosmo had a busy day ahead because I doubt the shower situation at this commune is thriving, water probably runs out always]

Lux: [what a poser lmaooo]

Dash: [and very rude not to invite her when she probably wants to shower or bathe too]

Lux: [we literally got gems stuck to our face but pop off]

Dash: [we know you’re not because your mother is there and sick of your behaviour but yes, it wouldn’t kill you to let her boy]

Lux: [no offence but run him over, anyway, some time later]

Lux: are you ⬇️🍄?

Dash: 🛹⚡️

Lux: aha, cool

Lux: good thing you didn’t invite me I’d end up 🤕 for sure

Dash: I didn’t stop you falling out of a tree last night to have you fall off a board later in the AM

Lux: Hey, you make it sound like I was 🤏 close! 😆

Dash: nah, your balance is sound

Lux: I don’t recall you stepping on my toes, either

Dash: don’t wanna have to start the day off doubting your 🍒 recall, that’d be a bad scene

Lux: I was totally sober thank you 😅

Dash: easy to claim the magic’s all you when I ain’t met you before but I’m a believer

Lux: Wait, was that a compliment or a diss?

Lux: Maybe I’m contact-wasted

Dash: contact with Nora would get you more sober, there’s a diss

Lux: Awh, don’t be mean!

Lux: She’s been really nice

Dash: chill out, I’m only playing

Lux: Hmm 😏

Lux: anyway, what are you doing later?

Dash: I said I’d hang with Yara

Lux: Oh cool, who’s that?

Dash: I’ll introduce you after

Lux: after what?

Dash: we’re done messing around

Lux: wow, alrighty then

Dash: you’ll like her, she’s a trip

Lux: I’m not totally sure she’d want you to 💬 that

Lux: or I’ll know what to 💬 now

Dash: it’s no biggie

Lux: idk, this is not the way I was raised

Lux: you say it’s not but idk, you know

Dash: you don’t have to meet her

Lux: Yeah

Dash: I think she’s rad but you gotta make up your own mind

Lux: It’s not about her

Dash: nah, you, I understand where you’re coming from, it’s a new world

Lux: Right, it seems really icky to me that you’d tell me any of this

Lux: it’s not about how rad she could be

Dash: Come on, Lux, I’m keeping this honest

Lux: I guess

Lux: Why do you need to tell me though, I don’t get it, for real?

Dash: I like you, I don’t want it to get twisted

Dash: 📖

Lux: Okay, I appreciate the sentiment then

Dash: I’ll come find you later, on my own

Lux: That’s okay

Lux: I’ve got lots of chores to catch up on

Dash: they’ll be done faster if I help you

Lux: I can’t stop you

Lux: the place is a mess after last night and the more people who pitch in the better

Dash: I don’t get why you’d wanna stop me

Lux: I don’t really wanna hang out now, not today anyway

Dash: I can’t believe you’re being like this

Lux: Being like what?

Dash: Amber

Lux: I’m not

Lux: you can’t hang out now, I can’t hang out later, how is it any different?

Dash: the way I’m travelling through today is a straight line, yours is all over the place

Lux: Good for you?

Lux: It doesn’t matter either way though

Dash: doing a u turn on me does matter

Lux: It does?

Lux: because last night you thought I was rad, so obviously this morning I wanted to hang out with you again, so I think it’s my turn to do the 180, if you think about it

Dash: I still think you are, last night was unreal & we can be again, I’m just asking you to take 5 cos I can’t split on Yara after making plans time ago

Lux: That’s fine, it’s not fine to be mad at me ‘cos I ask you to take 5 too

Lux: that makes it make no sense

Dash: I’m not mad at you, I’m trying to make sense of why you’re mad at me

Lux: I’m not mad at you, I’m upset

Lux: You only need to ask

Dash: idk I didn’t think this would go down how it is

Lux: Me either, I guess

Dash: you for real want space?

Lux: I don’t know

Lux: Can I get back to you on that?

Dash: yeah

Lux: I wanted to see you again

Lux: I thought you’d want to see me too

Dash: I do, you read me right last night, why are you gonna start disbelieving yourself today?

Lux: You want to see Yara more

Dash: I wanna see her too

Lux: Okay, have fun then

Dash: we cool?

Lux: I don’t know

Dash: idk what's turned you different, you were laying it on me like you got it, how I'm

like royalty & everyone wants a piece of my time

Lux: Oh my Gosh

Lux: I wasn’t being serious and I didn’t think you were

Lux: do you honestly think that, like what?

Dash: It's a touch plastic saying I'm like 👑 but still close to how it is

Lux: Um, you don’t even live here

Lux: you have a whole house and family

Dash: I'm here with my chosen family as much as I can be

Lux: Yeah, but what do you

actually do for this place, or anyone here?

Lux: The audacity to act like it’s your kingdom, that’s laughable and gross all at once

Dash: back off babe, I do whatever they need me to do

Lux: Babe-ing me right now isn’t a good look

Lux: manual labour at best makes you help, not visiting royalty

Lux: are you crazy, like, who do you think you are, seriously I’m so curious

Dash: Who are you? Thinking you can lay this trip on me about what I can & can't do

Lux: I’m not telling you you can or can’t do anything

Lux: I asked you not to call me babe, which is basic politeness

Dash: nah, you're telling me I don't belong to this place

Dash: questioning how I do like

it's up to you

Lux: I said you don’t live here, and you don’t

Lux: and I’ve never seen you contribute, maybe you were super busy before I got here, then I’ll apologize for that

Dash: you're doing a census, yeah? Hold up [everyone currently who doesn't live her like the petty prince he is]

Dash: I've got family here, they all keep me busy

Lux: Cool? Thanks for telling me who else is a tourist ???

Lux: You’re just being defensive, there’s no need if you’re secure in that and your place here

Dash: quit trying to rattle me

Lux: I’m truly not

Lux: but no, we’re not cool now

Dash: I made it known from the top where I live

Lux: Where you live isn’t the issue

Dash: what's your issue? I'm loved & welcomed here, that's all I said

Lux: That’s nice

Lux: I don’t really want to discuss my issue with you, with you, right now, if that’s okay

Dash: later then

Lux: See you around, Dash

Dash: I can't believe you think I'm a flake, this has me totally unglued, you know

Lux: I don’t feel great about it either

Dash: how can I make you feel less bummed out?

Dash: your tour was the most far out I've ever given

Lux: I don’t think you can, it’s done now

Lux: I just need some time to change what I thought this was, or was gonna be, in my head

Lux: but thanks, for offering

Dash: take your time to 👀 what we can be & how you wanna evolve

Lux: Maybe we can be friends later on

Dash: I’d dig it

Lux: I liked talking to you last night

Dash: I felt more connected to you than I usually do

Lux: I don’t think you’re an awful person, FYI

Lux: I just think you could’ve been clearer, and accept that you hurt me without getting way defensive, you know?

Lux: I can accept you didn’t mean to

Dash: I thought I was being clear

Lux: Yeah, I know

Lux: I’m from a very different background and place, it just didn’t translate well, clearly

Dash: yeah

Lux: but I thought I’d put that across well enough that you got that too

Dash: I do get you, but I can’t 180 myself to fit

Lux: No, I’m not asking you to fit my understanding, it’s fine you don’t

Dash: What are you asking?

Lux: Nothing, honestly, I’m trying to explain why I’m upset

Lux: Just like you can’t 180, I can’t change how I see and feel about it immediately, even if some of the ways I were raised are outdated or potentially bad, you know

Lux: You don’t need to do anything

Lux: From my perspective, it felt like a 180 and hurtful to tell me about hooking up with someone else the morning after

Lux: I know how you think and operate is totally different, but that’s it

Dash: but I wanna do something, to help you

Lux: You are nice…

Lux: I don’t know though, what would help?

Dash: I meant what I said last night about showing you this place, making it feel more like a home, how it is for me

Lux: Maybe you could come back and help with the chores

Lux: I shouldn’t have said you NEVER help out, I’ve not been here long enough to make that observation

Dash: maybe it looks like I don’t, cos with family you take liberties sometimes, that kid who’s naughty at home & don’t say shit at school, comfortable to play up

Lux: I have 8 brothers, I understand 😅

Dash: you can have that too, should

Lux: I did, as much as any of us did

Lux: I was a boy, remember

Dash: with 0 limits though, people trying to control & change what you do is for outside of here, I don’t have to think in my dad’s 🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟪⬛️⬜️🟫 way or do what my ma reckons is righteous

Lux: Sounds idyllic, Dash

Dash: it is

Lux: You have to understand my experience of people doing exactly what they want means someone is being exploited or abused for that person’s privilege

Lux: my parents had their utopia at the price of the things we wanted, needed

Dash: that’s why you need this new experience

Lux: Okay

Lux: I do want new experiences

Dash: the farm has the magic to grant you whatever you’re here for, no wish is the wrong size

Lux: You really seem to believe it so I will try too 😊

Dash: I’m about to 🛹⚡️ back if you wanna clean the opposite end or hide from me in the 🍏🌳🍎

Lux: That’s cool

Lux: but thanks for the warning 💗

Dash: don’t let how out of this world you look distract me then

Lux: I so don’t so that won’t be an issue 😌

Dash: It's an accident, huh? I feel you, it must be my fault I can’t look away

Lux: You’re way too smooth for your own good

Lux: but I wouldn’t say that’s a fault, necessarily 🤭

Dash: Hey, I didn’t manifest you into being, even if last night did feel like it had to be cosmically devined somehow

Lux: I felt it too

Lux: no one has ever

Lux: not like that anyway

Dash: you’re like a song I can’t get out of my head, I don’t want it to turn sad

Dash: I’m sorry I got you unglued too

Lux: It’s a lot more complicated than just you

Lux: it’s a whole thing

Dash: You’re gonna find people to share how heavy it is

Lux: 🤞

Dash: they’ll carry you through & even if it’s Amber I won’t let it bug me

Lux: I’m sure that’s a misunderstanding

Lux: I could talk to her? Subtly, of course

Dash: yeah, her misunderstanding me, you’ve got your reasons, she’s not new to any of this

Dash: her problem is she thinks she’s the most & everyone else should think she’s choice no matter what

Lux: Do you think she likes your brother?

Dash: no way, unless she’s got a football obsession now too

Lux: 🧲 maybe

Dash: idk

Lux: Me either

Lux: it just seems a bit crazy otherwise

Dash: he’s as uptight as my da, she’s never gonna get nowhere trying to mess around with him, whatever she’s doing it for

Lux: She won’t have any problem finding someone new

Lux: you said he’s older, right?

Dash: not loads, but he’s gonna be done with school in a sec

Lux: I see

Lux: so you’re the 👶

Dash: til my dad’s new lady puts her demands in

Dash: how many sisters you got to go with your 8 bros?

Lux: you don’t like her at all, huh

Lux: and 5, so they had a tough job being outnumbered

Dash: you heard of a WAG? That’s her whole deal

Dash: whoa, so you had a full time secret sewing job

Lux: yes, we lived in England for a while, that’s how I ended up here

Lux: like a Kardashian, I can see you not having a lot to bond over

Lux: exactly 😂

Dash: you gotta teach me, my nan would be jazzed

Lux: I’d love to!

Lux: there’s a surplus of old clothes to practice on

Dash: still a chore, we get to skip cleaning, yeah?

Lux: Mending isn’t as fun as creating but you’ve got to start somewhere so, I think so 😊

Dash: 😁

Dash: we’ll have a blast cos I gotta start somewhere on earning your forgiveness too

Lux: You’re sweet, Dash

Dash: I’m being for real

Lux: I know you are

Lux: I don’t know what to say though because I’m awkward 😳

Dash: it’s a hands on kinda task & you already know what you’re doing with it, it’ll be me feeling 😳

Lux: No flirting, only crafting

Dash: 🧷📏🧵✂️🧶📍✨

Lux: That’s a very impressive emoji selection

Dash: missing 😍💞🥰💓😘💘 but it’s chill

Lux: Idiot 😏

Dash: 💟 is the compromise

Lux: Okay, that’s adorable

Lux: allowed 🤭

Dash: [show up and take her hand to lead her off to sew, we know you weren’t far away bitch]

Lux: [the way you just melt when he shows, oh gal]

Dash: [I’m upset about it]

Lux: [we know you really like him, for better and worse rn]

Dash: [thank god he does actually like you and it’s not a straight up Drew and Ro situation happening]

Lux: [we can only do that ‘cos they both lowkey suck so we aren’t sad lmao]

Dash: [I like this gal too much to be that evil]

Lux: [it’s drama enough without it being entirely one-sided like no lol]

Dash: [I hope some sewing does take place amidst the blatant flirting because learn a useful skill for once in your life dickhead]

Lux: [we aren’t gonna just roll over immediately ‘cos actually did upset us so you will have to]

Dash: [yay]

Lux: [so that’s probably the vibe for today ‘cos yeah we absolutely won’t even though it’s clear we still like you like that too, so you’ll just have to hang out platonically]

Dash: [it’s gotta be the vibe for a while, sucks to suck boy, but obviously hang out until that girl comes to find you because you clearly do also wanna hang out with her platonically it’s not just like that vine where he breaks the skateboard]

Lux: [a quality vine]

Dash: [do we wanna leave this here?]

Lux: [I think we can]

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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@elfysparkles88

#listen it's a universal problem#I love my mans Scott#everyone is always bagging on him WHY#Scott Summers#X-Men

Its because Scott Summers is inevitably compared and contrasted with those around him, and he has the great misfortune of running in the same circles as an all-star line up of like....just the absolutely most Ridiculous People to Ever Ridick.

We’re talking about a guy whose dad was abducted by aliens and from there went on to decide, welp, guess I gotta become a space pirate now, jaunty earring and all, no, shhh, shh, no, there are no alternatives, I gotta, no, I said no - SHUT IT, I SAID I GOTTA BE A SPACE PIRATE NOW ITS THE ONLY WAY. Oh btw, meet my fianceé. She’s an alien mercenary who is a little like a skunk but don’t call her that to her face or she’ll shoot you in yours. How’s that for swoonworthy, am I right, son?

We’re talking about a guy whose own son was a literal sixty year old Grumpy Old Man overburdened with world-weariness, wildly unnecessary shoulderpads and arthritic joints when Scott was barely hitting his third decade. With said son now randomly being a moody sixteen year old again, with a pet sentient sword he talks lovingly to, because apparently Nathan Summer’s take on teenage rebellion was to act out by being all LOL Fuck Time Travel Paradoxes and then rebelliously zooming around the space/time continuum while blasting a soundtrack of MCR probably, until he finally got a bead on his older self and shot himself in the face while being like “its not that I’m angry with you, I’m just disappointed” and look this is the part where your eyes are gonna wanna just glaze over so your brain can have a break, shhh, shh, don’t ask questions, just let it be, it happened, its a thing.

We’re talking about a guy whose brother rode a merry-go-round of “Am I a good guy this week or am I a bad guy because Reasons or sometimes Brainwashing or sometimes I Don’t Even Fucking Know, Look Don’t @ Me Bro, I Just Fucking Work Here, I’m Not In The Loop” for most of his twenties until dying in a fiery explosion only to inexplicably return years later as a coma patient who finally woke up one day and said “Whoa, just got back from tripping around the multiverse and boy do I have stories cuz apparently I’m the Nexus of All Realities, so hah, SUCK IT, big brother, and yes that is TOO a thing, shut up, LET ME HAVE THIS. Oh and also btw don’t spend a lot on your wedding gift for me and Lorna because I’m gonna leave her at the altar once I realize that I’m actually more in love with the random nurse lady who changed my bed pans while I was in a coma having a romantic rendezvouz with her in Paris in my brain courtesy of her psychic eight-year old kid trying to play matchmaker for her cuz like, she doesn’t date much apparently but its whatever, this is FINE, I have no objections. Ugh why are you looking at me like that Scott, no, I don’t need to “talk” with someone about everything I’ve ‘been through,’ ugh I’m HAPPY you asshole, god, why don’t you ever want me to just be HAPPY ugh you just have to control EVERYTHING with your over-bearing BS like “I am concerned your decision-making processes might be affected by all the people tampering with your decision-making processes over the years” like umm DID I ASK? No? I didn’t think so? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD, SCOTT, UGH THAT DOES IT, IM RUNNING AWAY TO BE A SUPERVILLAIN AGAIN AND THIS TIME ITS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, YOU’LL BE SORRY WHEN I CRY HAVOK AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR THIS TIME FOR SURE, AND OMG FOR THE LAST TIME I KNOOOOOOW THAT’S NOT HOW ITS SPELLED, ITS ABOUT THE AESTHETIC SCOTT, ITS CALLED HAVING A SENSE OF STYLE, UGH, LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIVE.”

We’re talking about a guy whose other little brother randomly showed up and started killing people one day being like “hahaha surprise, bet you all forgot about me, PS, I’m REALLY FUCKING MAD AT YOU ALL FOR FORGETTING ABOUT ME” because the world’s most powerful telepath made everyone forget about him and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day they all had once and this is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, this is normal. As is the way his newly discovered slash remembered slash resurrected slash recently returned from spending the last decade fucking around as a disembodied energy ghost on a rock up in Earth’s orbit little brother then decided the Earth just wasn’t big enough for the both of them, the both of them in this case meaning both him, singular, and his Angst, as a wholly separate and towering entity in its own right. So instead he fucked off to space and decided to conquer a vast alien empire and spend the next several years being their god-emperor or whatever until he got bored with that. And also he kinda sorta killed their dad for a bit but whatever, its fine, he got better, and then he also kinda sorta died for a bit himself but whatever, its fine, he got better, and there was that whole interstellar war between himself and the Inhumans but whatever that wasn’t even his FAULT, Scott, THEY STARTED IT, god, do you ever stop JUDGING ME AND MY LIFE CHOICES and PS I’m still mad at you for killing Xavier, you fucking asshole, not because you did it but because like, you KNOW I wanted to do it, I had a whole fucking villain monologue moment about it and everything, you were literally there, UGH WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HAVE NICE THINGS?!?! YOU ARE THE ENEMY OF FUN AND JOY AND HEY MAYBE YOU WERE THE REAL VILLAIN ALL ALONG, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? HUH? MR. I’M THE BOSS, WAIT WHO’S THE BOSS? OH YEAH STILL ME, SCOTT, I’M THE BOSS, YOU GOTTA STOP BEING A SPACE EMPEROR GABE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE THE BOSS, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO BE THE BOSS BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS AND I SAID SO AND YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY OR I’LL TELL DAD.”

And that’s not even getting into how we’re also talking about a guy who basically ended up divorcing his first wife and suing for sole custody on the grounds of “Well, your Honor, she tried to sacrifice our son on a literal demonic altar in order to summon Hell to Earth to destroy everything just to get back at me after I left her. Yes, your Honor, I understand that is in fact Asshole Behavior, but there were extenuating circumtances, you see, the woman I left her for was my first love before her who I thought was dead. And also, she was literally my wife before my wife was. No, I don’t mean I was married before Maddie, I mean Jean was kinda pretty much already Maddie before Maddie was Maddie. Its this whole clone thing. Look, I’m just saying it was a complicated situation and I know I have my part to play in it, but I still stand by my conviction that trying to sell out our entire planet and species to the legions of Hell while using the innocent blood of our ten month old as the Golden Ticket to the Chocolate Factory was still a little over the top and not really the right way to handle it either. Also, I contend that I can provide a better home environment at the moment than someone who is insisting on being addressed as The Goblin Queen because what even is that, honestly, Your Honor, and also, she also brainwashed my brother into trying to kill me on her behalf, which to be fair does happen about every other month anyway, but still, like. Dick move, you know?”

And we’re also talking about a guy whose second wife who was kinda sorta his first wife but only in that It Ain’t Bigamy If Its A Clone Thing way....like, I mean. Its kinda hard NOT to come across as the bland one in the relationship when your second wife occasionally moonlights as the AirBnb of choice for a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction who is pretty infamous for the ragers she hosts every time she pops into town for a visit, all smiles and (literal) sunbeams (of scorching lethality) and “Lol hey hot stuff, remember me?” As if someone who ate an alien civilization’s sun the last time she hit a Mood is like....really in danger of ever being “New phone, who dis?”ed. But that is neither here nor there, much like the sentients of Alpha Centauri Bumfuckville after she went all Goodnight Sun, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Solar System on their corner of the galactic neighborhood, because.....tbh I don’t think she ever actually said “why” there. Its one of those things where if you don’t already KNOW why a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction has decided its nighty-night time for this particular zipcode.....like.....that’s not really something you just ASK, y’know? Its....tacky, probably. Also, low on the self-preservation instincts, probably.

Plus we’re talking about a guy whose second marriage to Yet Another Woman It Probably Should Have Registered As A Bad Idea To PIss Off Like This ended in like....so, okay, this was a bit more His Bad than even Round One was, courtesy of a “Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Show-stopping” reinterpretation of what was up until this point te much more ambiguous and metaphorically named “Mental Affair” concept. Though it must be said, Scotty always has skewed a bit more towards the literal minded in his personal approach to things, so, y’know. That tracks. But regardless, the pattern remains consistent here, as once again, its not always easy to register on peoples’ radar as anything other than the Plus One when your newest paramour prides herself on being both the entire planning committee AND star attraction of Victoria’s Secret (assuming that said Secret is Secret Aims at World Domination) Presents: A Renaissance Faire. But in an evil and also kinky way. Except now with sixty percent less evil on account of how Emma’s reformed these days, but not a hundred percent less evil because she’s not like, REFORMED reformed, cuz that would be boring, eww, could you imagine, no, you couldn’t, because she won’t let you and she can do that, she’s that good at telepathy and that bad at boundaries. Still the same amount of kinky as before though, but like. That’s just about Strong Branding. After all, at the end of the day Emma Frost is above all else, a good businesswoman.

But yes, she is also a big fan of the Aesthetic, with that aesthetic being Her Whims On Steroids because like they say, go big or go home, and Emma Frost does not believe in going home when she can simply acquire your home instead. Hate the game, not the player. She didn’t make the rules, she just came to win. Point being, its hard to follow up an act like Jean-Who-Is-Sometimes-Phoenix-And-Sometimes-Dark-Phoenix-And-Oh-Hell-She-Cant-Even-Keep-Track-So-How-Could-Anyone-Else-Really, but say what you will about Emma’s wardrobe, she’s more concerned with clothing herself in unapologetic take no prisoners ambition, and as such, her being the follow-up to Scott’s epic romance with his childhood sweetheart turned literal cosmic embodiment of fire and passion, like.....this was never a big checkmark in the con side of a pro and con list for Emma. It was more like oh, yes, hello there, Challenge Absolutely Fucking Accepted.

Which, y’know, all the points to House Frost for showing spine and boy howdy, that’s a spine alright.....but at the same time, going head to head with someone who is classified as a galactic threat when people are deliberately low-balling her, like, for no other reason than you’re bored and your manicure appointment isn’t for another couple hours.....like that’s the kind of thing where it has to be pointed out that there were possibly alternative options worth considering somewhere in between ‘having no spine’ and ‘spiting cosmic entity who can kill you with her brain by stealing her man and saying come at me bro because like....my spine, let me show you it.”

But again, just to reiterate the premise here.....our thesis here today is that Scott Summers Gets a Bad Rap For Being Bland or Boring or Not Standing Out, But In Reality The Issue Is Just That All The People He Knows Are Truly Ridiculous People.

In other words, Scott Summers is no more the Everyman of the X-Men than any of his Truly Ridiculous Friends and Family.

Because an actual everyman would have bounced out of that madhouse way the fuck back in Chapter One: In Which Things Just Got Ridiculous.

Cut to Scott Summers, in contrast: *looks around, purses lips, weighs options* Nah. This is fine.

See also:

His daughter, who didn’t so much arrive after the traditional nine months of waiting and preparing for a bundle of bouncing baby joy but instead just like...plopped back into the past as a full grown woman hailing from a dystopian future she was hellbent on preventing by any means necessary, even if that means had Scott frantically shouting RACHEL NO as she screamed RACHEL YES and sprinted straight at someone like Selene (a villain who has survived 17,000 years of pissing people off and making enemies of actual, literal gods) while thinking “oh yeah, I got this.”

(To be fair, she probably DID have it, or would have, if Logan hadn’t chosen that moment of all moments to have his once-centennial contemplation of “Wait, what if....murder is...NOT good?” Never underestimate the daughter of a cosmic goddess.)

Or see also also:

Scott’s original classmates, including Doctor Hank “I’m not an over-archiever, I’m just stress-eating because its lunchtime and I’ve only revolutionized two whole fields of scientific study so far today,” McCoy, Warren “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m a billionaire, wait no, I’m just kidding don’t hate me at all hahaha I’m too sexy” Worthington III, and Bobby “I may look cute and unassuming and like my only priority in life is video games but sike, I too am a potentially cosmic level immortal being of nigh-unlimited power or at least I will be whenever I get around to tapping that potential like I’m currently tapping xy up down A + BBA like a boss, now shhh, don’t interrupt me while I’m kicking ass at Mario Kart I said I’ll GET TO THAT LATER, ugh, JEEZ, my priorities are FINE, Scott, like get off my back already, you’re not even my real dad” Drake.

In conclusion:

Scott Summers is valid, and there may be legions drinking his Hatorade, but make no mistake, its not that he’s Less Than, its that every single person in his social circle is just that damn Extra.

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the-lupine-sojourner · 4 years

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The Tale of Astoria Kenobi [Chapter 2] [Obitine and Anidala Featured] [Dad!Obi-Wan/Daughter!OC]

Sorry I forgot this last night! Anyway, here it is!

Y’all have @sunshineisdelightful to thank for, honestly, pretty much all the scenes in this chapter lol.

Sunshine (apt username cus they’re so sweet!) mentioned some fantastic ideas and I ended up using about all of them in this chapter. XD

So next chapter will skip to her Gathering and then it’ll be her hearing about Obi-Wan and Anakin’s adventures protecting Amidala and she really wants to go to Kamino with her ‘uncle’ but she can’t.

And then Plo Koon is like ‘wanna be my Padawan?’ and Astoria’s like ‘yes please!’ and is so thrilled that such a wise, powerful Counsel Member would offer to train her in the Jedi Arts.

Anyway! Tag list! :) A huge thank you to all of these people! @elite-guard-hardygal, @forcearama, Sunshine, who I tagged already, @fwtcanimelover, and @babycollectiondragon135 (I can’t tag you! TT^TT) are all amazing people! If you want to be included in the taglist please just let me know!

Last thing is Links. Chapter 1 Link and the Prologue Link

Now, let’s get to the chapter!

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

I’ve been here at the Temple five years now, and I still haven’t managed to quite master meditation.

I try my best, but though I make some progress, I never get to the point the instructor describes. I’ve never felt the Force around me like he says I should.

It’s embarrassing and no amount of tutoring by Uncle Obi seems to be helping.

Try as I currently might, the end result is failure.

“I just don’t get it!” I groan, flopping on the ground in frustration.

I was trying yet again to understand what Uncle Obi was talking about, but nothing helps.

“Astoria, flopping around and getting frustrated isn’t helping.”

“If you say I need to ‘clear my mind and let my emotions go’ one more time, I’m going to smack you.” I grumble without thinking, sitting up and crossing my arms grumpily.

“I should like to see that.” He teases, chuckling.

“Sorry, Uncle Obi.” I murmur, sobering. “I just...it’s frustrating I still can’t get this.”

Obi-Wan sits beside me, chuckling and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You want to know something?” He asks.

“What?”

“When I look into your connection to the Force, and follow it into your core, I see a bright ball of energy, giving off wild, unfocused waves of light. It’s almost stronger than the connection I see in Anakin.”

“Really?”

“Almost.” He scoots me around to face him. “I want to help you, Astoria, believe me. In fact, I could calm your mind myself so your connection to the Force will be clearer. But, if I do that, I risk hurting you and your connection to the Force, and that I will not do. So, we have to take the long way, but we’ll get there.”

I manage a smile. “Thanks, Uncle Obi.”

“Now, shall we try one more time before bed?”

I sigh. “Yeah, just once more.”

This was one of my favorite times of the day, when my adopted uncle and I can just talk and enjoy each other’s company, even though in the presence of other Jedi I have to call him Master Kenobi.

For the first year, I was allowed an adjustment period where the Counsel let some things slide, like informal names and my energy, but after the year ended, they then began to curb those habits and hold me to the standards of the other Younglings.

I was grateful for the adjustment period and am doing my best to live up to the expectations of the Counsel, which made it all the more frustrating that I couldn’t grasp meditation yet.

=#=#=#=#=

“Oh, sorry Master Windu!” I mumble, scooting out of his way after nearly running into him rounding a corner.

“Eyes forward, Youngling.” He replies, not unkindly.

“Yes, Master.” I intone respectfully. He surprises me by turning back curiously.

“Were you headed to meditation?” He asks.

I shift sheepishly. “I’ve got a private lesson from Master Yoda. Seems he’s noticed my repeated failures.”

“Way I see it, the only thing he sees is your potential. Don’t be harsher on yourself than those around you, young one.” He says, surprising me with his gentle tone.

I nod, feeling better. “Thank you, Master Windu.” He nods and I bow my head in farewell. “I’ll be off now.”

“May the Force be with you, Astoria.” He says and I’m shocked he remembers my name.

A very high-ranking Jedi master remembered my name!

I walk down the hall, giddy.

“Something to celebrate, hmm?” Yoda asks, amused, when I walk into the meditation room he was in, noticing my wide smile.

I sit across from him. “Well, it’s just...it’s silly. Let’s start.”

“Meditation, you will not learn if clouded your mind is, little one.” Yoda replies, smiling and tilting his head. “What distracts you, hmm?”

“I almost ran into Master Windu. He gave me a bit of advice and remembered my name. I shouldn’t have let it distract me, Master. I’m sorry.”

“No error it is to find pleasure in small matters, but distractions, they should not become. Now, begin, we can, hmm?”

“Yes, Master Yoda.” Together, we begin to breathe deep and quiet our minds (or try to, in my case).

“Your mother, cloud your thoughts, she does.” Yoda muses.

“Well...she seems stressed lately. Worried about something. She never talks about what’s really going on on Mandalore. I can’t help being curious.” I reply, feeling childish.

“Allowed contact with their families Jedi are, but one must learn balance. Detach yourself from your training, you cannot.”

I flinch subtly, biting my lip. “I won’t, Master. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit distracted lately.”

The meditation practice had dissolved into a lecture.

Great. Master Windu was wrong; Yoda only wanted to scold a failing Youngling.

“Failing, you are not. Succeeding, you are not. Only trying, you are.” Yoda says as if he had read my thoughts.

For all I knew, he had read them like a book.

I frown. “What does that mean, Master?” I ask.

“Do or do not, young Astoria. There is no try.”

“Master, I’m just not getting meditation.” I point out. “I’ve been going to classes and practicing with Master Kenobi when he can help me, but nothing’s working.”

“Clouded and stormy your emotions are. Never learn meditation you will, if these emotions, settled they are not.”

“Yes, Master.” I bite my lip. “It’s just...I guess I’m not sure how to settle my emotions.” I confess.

Something about Master Yoda made me want to truly open up to him. So I did.

“Learn to let go you must.” Is his calm, enigmatic reply.

“What do you mean?” I ask, not understanding.

“Means do not concern yourself with things you cannot change, it does. Relax your mind and it will become calm and clear.”

And so Yoda and I begin trying to calm my emotions.

It sorta works, and soon enough I’m released to combat class.

My favorite! I’m ahead of the Younglings in my group in combat, actually.

I try not to let myself be too aggressive and competitive, but it’s really hard.

I wish they’d let us fight with actual lightsabers, not the low-powered youngling sabers we use, but I suppose that’s too dangerous right now.

I can’t wait to get my lightsaber crystal and make my hilt!

=#=#=#=#=

“Little Astoria, that move was rather reckless.” Plo Koon calls from the sidelines of the class.

He sometimes oversaw training from the sides and would call out advice to any struggling Youngling.

“Sorry, Master!” I call back, blocking a swing and swinging my leg to trip my opponent up. I then point my practice saber at the boy I was dueling. I think his name is Roman, but I can’t remember.

“I yield.” He says, annoyed that he lost...again. I turn off my blade and extend a friendly hand.

“You’re improving.” I note as I help him up.

“How are you so good at this?” He asks.

I shrug. “I’m not sure. I just...know what to do.”

Plo Koon strides over as the instructor dismisses the class. “In some ways, Astoria, your connection to the Force is instinctive and clear, but in others...you lack discipline and focus.”

I shuffle my feet as Roman awkwardly walks off. “I know, Master Plo, but...I just can’t seem to understand meditation like I can combat.”

“One day this mystery will be solved, young one, but you must continue practicing and learning what you can from your lessons. Never give up when the path before you becomes uncertain.”

“Yes, Master.” I reply. “I am trying.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and I think, if I could see his whole face, I’d see a smile.

“I know you are, and one day you will master it. Astoria, I believe that when you master your connection to the Force, you will become quite an impressive Jedi Knight.”

I grin and automatically hug him. “Thank you, Master Plo!” I cheer. The Jedi were getting used to my hugs by now and Plo Koon even returns the hug with one arm before gently peeling me off.

“Come along, young one, or we’ll miss our lunch.” I nod and skip down to lunch.

I may dislike the food, but I’ve learned ways of coping with that.

Every once in a while, when a Jedi went out to do a bit of shopping for basic essentials, I would ask to go with them.

Usually, that meant a pleasant trip with Master Kenobi as he shopped for things like soap and toiletries and I got to get some fruit and actually flavorful food.

I’d also grab a few spices like salt and pepper to liven up the bland food they serve at the Temple.

That food was grating on my nerves, but at least I had some ways to combat the lack of flavor.

In fact, Master Fisto needed to pick up some special lotion or something so his skin doesn’t get too dry being out of water for so long. We had pools and things in the Temple, but he couldn’t be in them as much as he’d like. I’ll ask if I can go with him after lunch.

=#=#=#=#=

“Master Fisto, may I have a word?” I ask, jogging to catch up to him.

He turns with his trademark broad smile, even crouching a little to be at my eye level. “Of course, my little friend.” He replies. “What can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if I could go with you to the marketplace today. I know you need lotion and I would like to get some more salt and pepper.”

“The food is not to your tastes, I take it?” He teases with a smirk.

“Well, not exactly. The food’s alright, but with salt and other spices, it’s a bit better.”

He laughs, patting my back cheerily and nearly making me fall over. “I feel the same way, young one. I’ll let you come.”

“Yay! Thank you, Master” I cheer, jogging to my room to grab the tiny allowance Younglings were given each month for whatever basics they needed.

Master Fisto and I leave side by side. “It’s always refreshing to step out of the Temple, is it not?” He asks.

I nod. “Yeah. I like it here, believe me, but it is also nice to get out every once in a while.”

“Come, let us get to business.” He calls, walking toward the small speeder that would take us to the marketplace.

“If I may, why don’t you spend more time in the pools and gardens if you’re from an aquatic planet?” I ask tentatively, coming to stand beside the Jedi Master.

“Well, I am a member of the Council. I have many duties that require my attention.”

“Oh.” I reply. “I was just curious.”

“Never let yourself feel bad for merely asking a question, Astoria.” He says gently. “Curiosity has led to many, many great inventions and discoveries.”

I nod. “Thanks, Master Fisto.”

“Of course, Astoria. Ah, here we are!” He cheers when we arrive at the marketplace. “You typically come with...Master Kenobi, that right?” He asks.

I nod. “Yes. He’s close friends with my mother, and I enjoy his company as well.” I reply carefully, not understanding why he was asking or smiling so broadly.

“I see. No shame in that. Come, we’ll hurry along and be back in time for your meditation lesson.”

I groan. “Yes, Master.”

“Do not think of this as punishment, Astoria. We are merely trying to help.”

“I know, Master, but I’m just not getting it!”

“That right there is why you fail.”

“I don’t understand.” I confess.

“Astoria, you view meditation as a block on your path that you cannot get past. That is why you fail.” My frown remains. I had no idea what he meant. “You need to start looking at it as a challenge to overcome, that can be overcome. If you look at it like that, you will be able to reach your potential that much sooner.”

I hum in thought then sigh. “Why is it I can rise in combat so easily, but stumble at meditation?” I ask.

“That, only you can answer, Astoria. But think on my words and the path forward will become clear.” I nod, absently side-hugging him as we near the spice store.

“Thank you again, Master.” I say, then wave to him as we go separate ways to gather our supplies.

“I’ll meet you at the transport in twenty minutes.”

I nod and enter the store.

“Ah, Astoria, my favorite little customer.” The store clerk greets. He was a human, like me, I think from the same planet as Uncle Obi, But I can’t remember for sure.

“Hello, Gastor.” I reply, walking automatically to the salt section.

“Ah, those are brand-new. Put ‘em out this morning.” He says when I grab a small container of a spice mix. It held a lot of good spices with the salt as the main component. I like the look of it, but it’s fairly expensive, so I reluctantly put it back. “I could cut you a deal since you come in so frequently.” Gastor muses idly, noting my interest before I put it back.

“No, but thank you, Gastor. I might be back for it later, but for now I must say goodbye.” I retort lightly, pretending to be emotional.

“Trust you to get attached to spices.” Gastor fires back and I pretend to be insulted, hand over my heart as I move further back toward the other spices.

I hear other customers come in, and feel something...unsettling. I don’t know what, but I know something’s amiss.

“Hello, Gastor.” Somes a slithery voice I immediately distrust. I sneak a little closer and see a tough-looking Twi’lek man and a few other thugs I can’t place.

“Look, I’m just waiting on one last shipment, then your order will be ready.” Gastor pleads, and I instantly am on guard, creeping nearer. I still had time to deal with these goons, buy the spices, and maybe even pick up some shampoo and conditioner as well before meeting Master Fisto at the speeder.

Taking a breath, grabbing a container of standard salt and pepper with granulated garlic and onion mixed in, I walk toward the counter.

“Ah, are you, er, ready to check out, miss?” Gastor says, and it’s clear he is uneasy, sweating as he glances between the thugs and me anxiously.

“Oi! We were here first!” The Twi’lek growls.

I notice a small blaster in his hand and a knife in the other.

“I’m sorry, but as your order is not yet ready- -” Gastor says placatingly.

“Get it ready!” The man interrupts angrily.

“Sir, he said it’s not ready. That’s it. Check back later. I’ve gotta get- -” I’m suddenly grabbed by one of the other thugs (maybe a man from Florum, but maybe not), fingers tight around my throat, and hauled into the air.

As I choke, I begin to feel something pooling in my gut, in my core, even, like a coiled spring.

I instinctively trigger it and find myself suddenly sure of what to do.

I feel a wave begin at my core, expanding outward and suddenly I am let go and the thugs, as well as Gastor, are pressed against the wall.

I take a breath and release the wave and they fall.

Despite being excited by what I had just done (wasn’t that the Force I just used to push these thugs back?), I walk calmly forward. I wasn’t quite done with them. “Gastor here said your order wasn’t finished.” I begin. “So you will return home to wait patiently for it and return when he tells you it is ready. I hear of you bothering him again, and I will not hesitate to return.”

The thugs cower away from me. “What’re the Jedi doing here?” I hear one whimper as they take off running, bumping into each other trying to get out of the door.

“You’re training to be a Jedi?” Gastor asks, breathless in shock.

I nod. He’d never asked and I never volunteered that information.

Uncle Obi says it’s not the Jedi way to broadcast who we are. We are humble servants of the Republic and peacekeepers. That is all.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. We’re not supposed to broadcast it.” I explain and hand him the credits needed for the seasonings.

“That’s alright. I should have guessed. You’re wearing Jedi robes, after all.”

I chuckle. “Assumptions often lead us astray, Gastor. Anyway, thanks for the seasonings. I use it on my food at the Temple.” I lean in conspiratorially. “They don’t season their food at all. It tastes so bland!”

Gastor laughs and shoos me away. “Well, don’t let me keep you away from the Temple any longer. And thank you for your assistance with those pests. They come in demanding cheap spices in bulk. I can’t keep this up.”

I sigh. “They should leave you alone, but tell me if they come back when I restock.” I call over my shoulder and wave as I leave.

I spot Master Fisto a ways away. The shop with the lotion was the same shop I got my shampoo and conditioner, so I walk over to him.

“There you are. Did you find suitable spices?” He asks.

“Yes, I did.” I reply. I felt the news of my use of the Force bubbling up, but something told me it might be better to wait til we were back at the Temple.

“Good. We’ll pick up the last things we require and return before we’re missed.” Fisto says and I jog lightly over to the bottles of hair products, grabbing the ones I typically use. It was nothing fancy, just cheap products to serve their purpose. Plus, they were very cheap.

Once Master Fisto and I are through with our purchases, we walk together toward our transport. “There’s something you want to tell me.” Mastesr Fisto muses, chuckling. “What happened in the spice shop?” Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that he already knew something happened in the spice shop. “I saw a few men running from there in terror. Did you see something that happened?” It’s clear he’s teasing, but I humor him.

“A Jedi stopped them harassing the shop owner, apparently,” I reply. “but I didn’t see them.”

Fisto laughs, dropping the facade. “Well done, Astoria. It seems you finally unlocked another aspect of your connection to the Force.”

I nod. “Thank you, Master. They were demanding spice for far cheaper than the owner was selling. I convinced them that wasn’t a good idea. I...don’t know how it happened, but I was able to stop them choking me with the Force.” I explain. “It felt...incredible!”

“Don’t abuse that power, Astoria.” Fisto cautions. “Practice restraint and only use that power when needed, and you will find yourself the better for it.”

I nod. “Yes, Master.”

The transport arrives at the Temple and we walk together, back to our rooms to put our purchased items away.

Once that’s done, it’s off to another session with Master Yoda.

This time, however, it seems to go smoother than previous sessions. Whatever I unlocked in the spice shop eases the path toward understanding meditation and using the Force as the instructor says we should be able to.

Now, I just need practice and I’ll soon be able to manipulate the Force and calm my mind on command. This is amazing!

“Learned something you have, hmm?” Master Yoda asks, smiling.

“Yes, Master, I think I have. I went out with Master Fisto to pick up more shampoo and conditioner, among other things, and I ran into some unsavory characters. They were threatening me, even had me by the throat, then something...happened, inside me, and I was able to use the Force to push them back. They ran off once they knew I was in the Jedi Order.” I explain briefly.

“Good, good, young one. Great strides in your training, you are making.”

“Thank you, Master Yoda.”

“Now, perhaps, meditation you can learn, hmm?”

I chuckle. “I hope so, Master.” I get into position and begin trying to calm my mind and focus on my connection to the force. True to Uncle Obi’s words, it was like a ball of energy, wild and untamed. Reaching out and feeling that same coil in my core that I’d felt in the spice shop, I begin to see the waves of energy focus into beams that lead off into the vastness of the Force.

I breathe deeply and try to see if I can find other people’s connections.

Right in front of me, of course, is Master Yoda’s connection. His energy ball was bigger than mine, shining out like a sun with beams also leading out in every direction.

“Yes, Astoria. These connections you feel, see all of them, you can. With training, see distant places and future events you can.”

I release my concentration and open my eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, Astoria, you can. If wills it, the Force does.”

#Fanfiction #Star Wars #SW #Tale of Astoria Kenobi #obi-wan #satine #Obitine #Anidala #SW OC #OC #Original Character #Original Female Character #Jedi OC #Uses both Clone Wars and the movies

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phoebehalliwell · 4 years

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Any thoughts on a cupidlighter? (cupid-whitelighter) What kind of powers they might have? Like, would they develop new hybrid powers? (Orbeaming? Lol)

Okay. So. i actually think about the differences between cupids & whitelighter relatively frequently (i can say at the very least more frequently than any normal person) because in my next gen fic we have both cupitches and witchlighters, and while we already have a basic 411 on a witchlighter hybrid because of paige, chris, & wyatt, we saw really next to nothing on how cupids function as they were only in a total of like eight or nine episodes. but it’s established cupids are a different species and while cupids & whitelighters share some powers with similar functions (both have a form a teleportation & of sensing), i think the ways they tap into these powers is completely different. broad strokes, if a whitelighter and a cupid switched bodies, they would have trouble beaming/orbing respectively, because it would require a different set of skills/mentality.

so let’s start with whitelighters bc we’ve got a little more lore on them to start with. they are a species completely ruled by logic. there are clearly A Lot of rules in place for whitelighters, ranging from general “don’t fall in love with your charge” to the hella specific “don’t eat on the job, wear you formal robes to meetings”. we literally get the quote “a whitelighter who's controlled by his emotions is useless.” so uh. yeah. that and they clearly serve a higher power (the elders), and to displease them is to have your wings clipped. now, we could get into some speculation here bc while the elders are a higher council of whitelighters the do act as the guide/leaders of all users of white magic, no matter the species. so like we could say that what a whitelighter should have originally been was one who was always compelled to do good and help others and they initially operated off their basic instinct, and then the formed a casual system you know assigning charges to make sure every witch/future whitelighter was receiving the guidance they needed, and then that grows into this and this grows into that and we see the elders rise as the beacon of good magic, the moral compass to guide the world (and who better to watch over good magic than beings who are literally hand picked due to their amazing capacity to do good?). but now it’s sorta a uhh what’s the word you know that thing where something feeds off its own energy and growing bigger and bigger because every time you’re doing it your building off your last iteration and nothing’s really driving you to do it at this point other than the fact you feel like you need to improve the last phase into a bigger and better phase it’s very cyclical and i swear there’s a colloquialism for it but i just can’t put my finger on it Anyway it become a that situation where the elders are the leaders of the magical community so they need to be presentable and they need to be dignified and they can’t be a clownass bc then it seems like the elders as a whole are clownasses (which i aint saying anything butttttt) and because of all this whitelighters as a whole, over the centuries, turn away from that sort of intrinsic emotion based free form sitch and become a much more rigid and structured people. because of this, i think powers such as orbing is really guided by a more logical approach. they think of a location, and they can go there. it’s very much done with the mind. sensing is another whitelighter ability that has become less and less attuned to emotions. a whitelighter can sense when their charge is in trouble, but we really don’t get any other emotions. however, they can easily sense if there are people in a room, or if a being is evil (note: i know in the s5 opener when piper was kidnapped by necron leo’s like “all i’m sensing is courage” but my counterargument was that was not a normal emotion, that was a magically amped up backfire of a spell that suppressed other emotions and completely flooded one’s system with courage, so i don’t count that really. i would also add, as piper and leo share a very deep, very strong bond, it’s also likely that leo’s ability to sense piper is a lot higher than it would be with any of his other charges).

so now let’s jump to cupids. we have barely any canon on them (which i love), and what we do have i might very well ignore. (there’s a cupid judge?? all cupids are dead babies????? i’m..... yeah i’m not doing that.) the way i see cupids is as beings of love, who are very much ruled by their emotions (the real water signs of the magical world). we know from coop that beaming itself is about emotions, not logic. you can’t think of a place to get there, you feel it (which is why piper and leo kept fucking up their beaming destinations in the finale). when they sense, they sense love, they sense hurt, they sense fear, they sense caution, they sense hope. it’s not a physical thing, it’s not a mental thing, it’s pure, raw emotions. also just while i’m on the topic the way i think cupids work is that they’re just straight up vagabonds, they wander the earth just looking for instances to spark love, there’s no rhyme or reason to it. (like leprechauns how in canon “are like bees, they pollinate the world with luck.” it’s implied they don’t have charges/specific assignments to do with their luck, they just go where the vibes take them. that’s how i like to think cupids work. like love isn’t about reason or logic, so the way they operate shouldn’t be grounded in reason or logic). as far as a higher power they have to answer to, i don’t think that would come from within the cupids. i think while there is a vague social structure base off how long one has been a cupid for, there’s mostly just a sense of fraternity that links them all together. the higher power they answer to is the elders (who honestly i really don’t think they engage with the cupids like At All especially with their focused belief that logic and discipline should be the standard they just really don’t like the loosey goosey energy the cupids have. it think when they called coop bc they felt vaguely guilty for completely shafting her love life was probably the first time they reached out to the cupids in about a century or so).

So. now that i have talked extensively about both species, let’s get into what a cupidlighter would actually look like. for starters, the birth’s gonna be a scandal. romeo and juliet two households both alike in dignity a wild love affair a this a that the other it’s gonna be the talk of the whole magical community. and there are so many questions because how will this child age? which being would they elect to become? what powers will they have? so on and so forth. so two answer my own questions: a whitelighter was once human, and can become human again. it’s established immortality is a gift. i think cupids are naturally immortal (sidenote i think coop had to petition the elders to grant him the ability to age, which they weren’t too keen on bc they’re like dude we already let you marry a witch what more do you want and coop’s like .....to not watch my wife grow old without me??? and they’re like ughhhhhhh but then leo catches wind of this and orbs up there like heartless motherfuckers?? coop’s love for phoebe is pure don’t subject them to this horrible curse???? jesus christ aren’t you supposed to be the good guys? stop and think about your actions for like 90 seconds you callous fucks??? and the elders are like 😐😐 okay coop can age. and like the younger whitelighter are like can we talk like that? and the older ones are like nooooooo that’s a leo thing they like cannot kill him). so, in conclusion, i think a cupidlighter would age like a mortal, but at an insanely slow rate (think like asgardians to humans in the mcu. but like. maybe not that slow). what will they become, a whitelighter or a cupid: i think they would be raised/trained in the ways of both, and then once they’re like in their twenties you know they’ve been alive for almost a century they would probably settle and decide what they will act as, which really depends on who they are as a person (but let’s be real it’s gonna be cupids who wants to serve those stuffy ass elders with their suckass playbook). as to what powers they would have, i am honestly going to say All Of Them. because there’s no witch in them there’s no concept of a dominant/active power. so they just like. can do it all. (and hell yes to the orbeaming which i am definitely looks like orbing but instead of a blue light and tiny white orbs its a pink like with small ass lil hearts 💞💕). so the teleportation magic would fuse into a new power and the sensing would fuse into just a superior version of sensing, they can heal like a whitelighter they can manipulate time like a cupid they just. they get everything. But. a lot of the powers have different triggers than they normally would. i would say orbeaming would definitely be a more difficult form of teleportation to master than orbing or beaming on its own. i think the time manipulation, which should be ruled by the cupid half, would end up having a more whitelighter trigger, meaning they’re going to have to figure that one out on their own because the cupids don’t know how to teach it to them and the whitelighters don’t have that power. so while they really have a long list of powers, mastering them is much more difficult than it would be for any non-hybrid.

and if i’m doing a bonus round (and i’m Always doing a bonus round) here are my thoughts on a cupitchligher. so we’ve got a couple options here a cupitch was a relationship with a whitelighter a witchlighter has a relationship with a cupid a cupitch and a witchlighter have a relationship a cupidlighter has a relationship with a witch. i think i’ve covered all my bases. i also think all of these would yeild a great range of magic results, but the baseline common traits would be like 1. good person, like an incredibly good person bc they have the whitelighter instinct to help people in need the cupid impulse to spark and nuture love And on top of that the witch’s need to protect the innocent. bro you’ve got such a good person on your hands. and then 2. their witch powers would be amplified by their other halves. okay so you’ve got a tribrid so you know they’re already going to be strong but this is like a merphoenichaun where all the sides are magical but like,, unrelated, this is three sides working in absolute harmony to amplify one another. a witch’s powers come from their emotions and the cupid side helps boost that and the whitelighter side not only adds its own extra punch but it also works to hone it through the inherent discipline that has become ingrained into whitelighter dna.

#oh you know just a couple thots #just thot i'd jot down a couple quick sentences about it #nothing major #yeah lmao i think about this sorta meta/worldbuilding A Lot #💌#charmed #long post

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youremyonlyhope · 4 years

Text

Spyfall Part 2

Yay part 2! I’m so ready. Give me more.

While on my lunch break at work today, I nearly opened tumblr on my phone. Then I realized it was after 2pm so the episode was currently airing in Britain. I could have been spoiled if I hadn’t stopped myself.

I see the Doctor is still talking to herself. Old habits die hard. “Don’t panic.” Love Hitchhiker’s Guide. “RYAN.” HUH “RYAN SINCLAIR?” WHAT? This is reminding me of something... what am I being reminded of... BLINK MAYBE??? YES THIS IS JUST LIKE “SALLY SPARROW DUCK NOW.” THIS IS BLINK. IS THIS BLINK? BECAUSE THIS IS BLINK. ...Who in the world is this lady... “Obviously I’m a recording and can’t hear you.” THIS IS BLINK. Also this is throwing shade at Blink with the “Obviously” part... It is his TARDIS!!!! IT’S A TARDIS. THE HOUSE IS A TARDIS. THE FANS WERE RIGHT. At first, I wasn’t sure if it was a TARDIS or just the Master making a joke by having the house fly by them. But nope, IT’S A TARDIS. I literally screamed “IT’S A TARDIS” out loud. “Magic Apparrating Man! Lady. Apparrating Lady! Every time...” That made my dad laugh. But I mean, 1100 years at least of being a man, not counting the 4 billion years in the confession dial. It takes getting used to. Marooned in the past. Chibnall, I really hate to say this, but this is becoming a little too similar to Blink. Just because of the being trapped in the past and leaving messages for the present thing. The lace bonnet had looked super.... weird in the other realm. In a cool way. A way that made me wonder what material it was made of and if she was really from the mid 1800s or if she was just an alien with clothing that imitated the style. Because the way the lace glowed was cool. Also. Why does Ada seem familiar to me? OH NO. Lol. “O no.” I didn’t even do that on purpose. That face she made as she realized the Master’s not in control was such a Doctor face. “Ada, I really do not approve.” Aww Doctor. Never change. I like the old lady taking a picture with an iPad. Yaz calling her mom is a very Martha move and I approve. The Silver Lady was in the Master’s TARDIS.... “From his master” oh ok. “Multiple time periods” OOoohhhhh. Not multiple Earth dimensions then. I was gonna say that I was thinking of Weeping Angels earlier in the day today... I’m not saying these are Weeping Angels... but getting the vibes from the time travel and pulling people in and out and stuff. Oh and I was right that they can transport people purposefully. Did I say that in the last post? I can’t remember. But when Yaz was transported last episode I was like “So they can transport people places?” and the answer is a definite yes, and also in time. Also. Ada Lovelace. I know that name... I know I know that name... “Deep breath” ok now I miss Twelve. Of course it’s WWII. This music reminds me of like... Star Wars... Something from the sequel trilogy sounds like this... or at least has this vibe... Also. I don’t know how I feel about an Indian man in a Nazi uniform. That just... they wouldn’t have let him do that, first of all. Second of all, can we not? These are all women so far that the Doctor is bumping into... And I feel like it’s meaningful... Why would he do that to his mom? Noor Khan, I feel like I DEFINITELY have heard of her. Important women in science? I’m guessing Ada was a mathematician I think, but I can’t really remember. “They promised us that a war on this scale would never happen again.” “This is not the first time?” Ugh. WWI and pre-WWI people finding out about WWII always hurts. IT’S THE DOCTOR DOING THE SOUND OF THE DRUMS. Just the sound of the drums gives me chills. Is this a Old Who thing? The mind reading? She said it was classic. “Not exactly the Aryan archetype.” THAT’S WHAT I WAS SAYING. OOoooooh a perception filter. So they think he’s white. Ok. Ok that’s better.

Also, I’m sorta glad they’re actually addressing race affecting time travel to different time periods. They didn’t do it with Martha enough/at all. They tried to do it with Bill, and I did appreciate the “History is a whitewash” and London being blacker than Bill thought it was, but because London was diverse it wasn’t really an issue (besides the racist the Doctor punched). But I’m glad this is an actual situation where being another race is genuinely DANGEROUS since that’s how it was.

“Look after my mum” So is she not dead? Or is he mocking them? They can’t have destroyed Gallifrey again. He’s lying It was probably the Master himself that killed everyone if he’s not lying. “How else would I get your attention?” Awwww. That’s almost sweet. It’s sweet by Master standards ok. Ok... letting Nazis attack the Master... for being a spy... while he’s a person of color... is pretty harsh... Of course the Nazis can’t do much damage... And the Master did willing side with them to find the Doctor... But still... Very harsh... I guess after everything the Master has done... Maybe he deserves to be on the receiving end of racism since he hates humans so much... But still. “Forget you heard that word.... Otherwise I’ve just disrupted the whole of history. Again.” Doctor. Babe. Control yourself. Ok so it was people who were important in the development of computers in general. Cool cool cool. I appreciate that Ada and Noor were the ones the Doctor specifically bumped into. “You kept clicking agree” Yeah... yeah... he got us there. “This is like the Matrix” - My Dad. OH wow the Master came the long way round. 77 years. I’d almost say poor dude. Conversion!?!? NO. NOT CYBERMAN! IF THERE’S CYBERMEN THEN IS THIS A 3-PARTER?! “Oh.” “That’s your name.” HA. HA, good one Doctor. “I forgot the plane!” No you didn’t, Doctor. Don’t worry. You can do it anytime, as long as you do it at some point. “Are we being replaced?” Oh Graham. But also, I want the next companions to be from the past. See in Blink we didn’t get to see the Doctor setting everything up like we’re seeing it now. So that’s cool. Imagine if we had seen Martha standing behind the camera annoyed, then running around to say “I gotta support him!” That could have been fun. I think I just want more Martha in Blink. “The Fascists. Do they win?” “Never” Yeah I really hope not, but time is repeating itself. I guess it will also repeat them not winning. That’s sweet that the Doctor still wants her to know that computers are a thing because of Ada. And I appreciate that the show didn’t try to be like “She helped make computers because of the Doctor.” because no, she made them because she was always going to. Oh wow we’re going back to Gallifrey?? We haven’t been in a while. Been wondering if we would.

I didn’t write anything for the last few minutes because I’m just like... HUH.

First of all, I knew the Master did it. Called it.

Second of all. I was like “Oh no. The Doctor just got Gallifrey back, do we HAVE to take it away again? To make her angsty?” Then we heard the Master’s reason for destroying it and I was like ok maybe there’s justification.

Third of all. The Time Lords have always sucked. We’ve known this forever. The Doctor has said that the Time Lords went wrong at the end of the Time War and that they choose to remember them in a good way and forget the ugly side. So we know the Time Lords suck. That’s not a surprise. What is it that they did that was so bad, the MASTER of all people felt the need to put an end to it? The Master. As in the little boy who was driven crazy because the Time Lords chose to put the Sound of the Drums in his head and use him as a weapon. He didn’t destroy Gallifrey then, so what could be worse than that? Do I even want to know? They’ll tell us, but I don’t know if I want to hear it. We might be going very dark this season...

Fourth of all, yay! They’re asking the Doctor questions and she’s answering! Yay! And Yaz asking “Can we go to your planet?” was the second Martha thing she did.

And fifth, yay! We’re probably getting an overarching theme this season! And maybe the Master isn’t completely evil, since everyone’s so worried about Missy’s redemption! He’s just hurt by what he found, felt he had to destroy Gallifrey, and is still upset about it. When he said the Timeless Child I literally said out loud “OH. OH ok so we’re really doing this then.” because I felt like all the predictions of the Timeless Child being involved were probably right... but not like this.

EPIPHANY. What if he really was just doing all this to get the Doctor’s attention? He wants the Doctor share the burden of the truth, but doesn’t know any other way to get her to listen besides do horrible things. What if he didn’t kill, plot, and plan just for the hell of it and maybe rub Gallifrey in the Doctor’s face, but the ultimate goal was to get that message to the Doctor so the Doctor could find out about Gallifrey.

Honestly I’m concerned about what it is that the Time Lords lied about. What did the Master mean by “who we are as a species” like... I’m scared.

Also halfway through the episode my mom came in (she’s super behind, as in she hasn’t even watched Capaldi’s seasons yet) and she said “You have to stop screaming ‘IT’S A TARDIS IT’S A TARDIS’ of course it’s a TARDIS that’s what she drives.” So apparently my mom heard my freak out over the Master’s TARDIS. She heard me screaming last episode too when I was jumping at the Master reveal.

Anyway. Sorta Blink-esque in that Ryan, Yaz, and Graham being saved is an endless loop if causing itself because of previously planted messages from the Doctor. But also, we got a mini history lesson, which was the point of Doctor Who in the first place. Gallifrey’s gone and apparently Time Lords suck, but what else is new. And we got the Master finding out the effect that race has in certain (or all) time periods. Hopefully the Master’s back soon. We really were spoiled rotten by Season 10 when they gave us Missy in like half of the episodes. I need more Master. Give me more Master.

#hope watches doctor who #ignore me if you want #doctor who #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 5 years

Text

Chat: Jo + Gray romcoms

(for lexy)

Jo> She likes pointless fluff movies. I’m being told I have to watch Friends With Benefits next after I finish the last 20 mins of the first half of this series

Jo> :l

Jo> *actually doesnt mind that movie just finds it hysterical Jo does*

Grey> Is Friends with Benefits the one with Mila Kunis?

Jo> Yep

Grey> Who’s the male lead in that?

Jo> Justin Timberlake

Grey> Ah

Jo> It’s kind of hilarious that Jo likes that movie

Grey> Because of how she is about relationships?

Jo> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0 and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA6M-V4oHso first 20 seconds just… kind of amazingly hilarious.

Jo> She’s somewhere between or actually boh main characters at once

Jo> (Also the Train in the background of the first cracks me up)

Grey> TRAIN IN THE BACKGROUND LOL

Jo> Yeeeep

Grey> You linked me the sex scene? LOL *signs in*

Jo> Its the end of the crappy romcom movie that the girl wanted to watch and the guy spent the entire time paying out.

Jo> LOL

Jo> Yes

Jo> Because

Jo> First 20 seconds is magic

Jo> …hell the entire thing is magic

Jo> And hilariously like if Jo were a guy and a girl at the same time

Jo> honest to god

Grey> “I sneeze sometimes after I come” *drink everywhere*

Jo> Wait for it

Grey> HES SINGING

Jo> LOL

Grey> “WHOA TOO FAR”

Jo> “When women start to scream it can me misconstrued”

Grey> *dead*

Grey> So much for just once

Jo> LOL Yeeeep.

Jo> Can you see kind of where I get my amusement from?

Grey> Yep

Jo> “Grab my hair.” “Kiss my neck”

Grey> *dies at butt part*

Jo> *nodnod*

Grey> Oh my god

Grey> Oh man mom walking in at the end

Jo> Lol yep

Jo> I find so much fucking amusement from that movie and the fact it’s number 3 on Jo’s fave ‘romcom’s

Grey> What are the first two?

Jo> Pretty Woman and Miss Congeniality

Grey> Awwwww Miss Congeniality. "So her top favorites are about a hooker finding a sugar daddy, a tomboy becoming a barbie doll and two friends fucking?“ Gray that’s not… no.

Jo> "Got a problem with that?” Gray. Darling. No… …though he has a point but no…

Grey> “Other than your taste in movies is shit. No.” He’s got the air of implying about him.

Jo> “…I’m just glad it was top three then, I’m sure you’d find the next two just as shit…” Jo is well aware the implication and I am snickering my head off

Grey> “And what are those, Legally Blonde and The House Bunny?” *pets her*

Jo> “…no. Clueless and a tie between 500 Days of Summer and Runaway Bride….

Jo> ” She knows how bad those are, but theyre better than Legally Blonde and House Bunny at least. (What’s Your Number, Stardust, Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle round out the top ten though)

Grey> “*snickering*” Yeah. The House Bunny is shit but Legally Blonde isn’t bad imo. It’s got Matt Davis in it for one so…

Jo> “…oh go ahead. Say it.” Lol yeah House Bunny is. Legally Blonde’s pretty alright - the second is dreadful though.

Grey> “Say what that you have horrible picks and clearly just want some guy to swoop in a rescue you?” Second one doesnt exist in my mind. Because I like the first one too much to admit it.

Jo> “You just don’t like romantic comedies and most of those involve free thinking, independent women who can survive all on their own without a man…sorta.” LOL I cried my way through it. In pain.

Grey> “Except they all end up with a guy and the whole plot of them is either "fucks a dude and keeps fucking him” or “discovers she’s ladylike after all”.“ I saw it on tv once, attempted to watch then switched the channel 5 minutes in because it was hurting

Jo> "Pretty Woman is about how you aren’t just your job - that there is more to a person than just that; Miss Congeniality is about doing the right thing, and that everyone can be more than what their intial appearance might suggest; FoB is about how… sometimes worrying about the labels of things can ruin something that’s working and that …getting over that shit’s for the best…” It’s dreadful..

Grey> “Uh huh.” Yeah I dont know what charm the first one has that the second one is missing but you can definitely tell it’s missing it. Same with Miss Congeniality, first movie is cute second movie makes you want to tear out your eyes

Jo> (Oh god, I just realised the girl in Friends with Benefits at the start is going to go see Pretty Woman at the cinema as some romcom weeklong thing and her then bf dumps her out front and she’s already missed the boots)

Grey> *DEAD*

Jo> “…shut up, alright. God, a girl is allowed to like pointless fluff sometimes!” LOL So so true. The same goes for Bring It On. *crying at this movie again now*

Jo> (“You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman who fall in love, then anyone can. *wistful sigh/tone*” *dying*)

Grey> “I would think you get enough of that with the runt.” Oh my god that’s hilarious

Jo> “…I think your brother knows better than to..freak me out with that sort of thing. Reality, fiction, don’t cross the streams..much.” I know. I forgot it and now Im dead.

Grey> “So he’s not constantly trying to bring you flowers or jewelry or anyt of that other crap? I’m surprised he has so much restraint.” No wonder Jo likes the movie

Jo> “No, he’s not. Seems you don’t know him quite as well as you think…” Oh yeah. … http://youtu.be/GvBNVJjhj4Q?t=11s Just… start o the film is pretty much this. And yep. It totally does.

Grey> “Or he doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.” I feel bad for Justin’s character cause that bitch crazy

Grey> “Next time just shit on my face cause that’s the same thing” no it isnt lady

Jo> Wait for the explanation of Mila’s character

Grey> WOW Andy’s a dick

Jo> LOL Yuuuuup

Grey> *spit take at Justin*

Jo> Just wait

Jo> It gets more

Grey> *DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*

Jo> “Or maybe he likes me as much as he says he does and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or pressured and is making sure I’m okay with things.” I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THATS JUST THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

Grey> “If he liked you as much as he said, he’d get you flowers. Because that’s what Grey does, flowers and chocolate and bubble baths with candles and rose petals and all the other lame shit because that’s what he does, he does the lame "romantic” crap and he likes doing that. So he either doesnt actually care that much or he’s completely terrified of you and is too scared to even approach the matter"

Grey> That’s hilarious

Grey> Especially Justin’s just completely lunatic of the girlfriend. Like Mina’s guy was just lazy and a jerk but Justin’s girl was fucking monkeynuts crazy

Jo> “He would not - he might want to, but right now? He wouldn’t. I prefer non-materialistic things anyway so…” I know. She’s amazing. She keeps calling too. I seriously recommend it if you have a few hours to spare or fill or are bored sometime because that movie is just great. Better than No Strings (the Portman/Kutcher one)

Grey> “If he wouldnt its because you’re scaring him. But hey if you’re cool with him being too scared to say what he wants then….” It does look a lot funnier than Natalie’s

Jo> “I am not /scaring/ him. He knows he can say whatever he likes to me or bring up stuff…. …” It is. I’ve seen both several times, Friends With is much better. The original Coke to Nat’s new.

Grey> “Sure he does. That’s why he didn’t tell you he loved you for the longest time. Because he’s totally not afraid to talk to you.” I feel like I should just watch both then Black Swan to mindfuck myself but I can’t right now lol

Jo> “He does, and… that’s none of your business, and it wasn’t 'the longest time’, was barely three months after..” LOL Oh god that would be dreadful.

Grey> “Uh huh. And he hasnt really said it again has he?” Yep it would

Jo> “He has too. …a few times.” Brainfuck indeed.

Grey> “And I bet you know exactly how many because it doesnt happen a lot.” Completely

Jo> “…your point being? People don’t have to say they love one another all the time, I’m sure you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve said it.”

Grey> “Because I’m a arrogant asshole monster who doesn’t really give two shits to get emotional about things. Does that sound like Grey to you?”

Jo> “…no. Sounds a little like me though, so instead - how often has Anna said it to you, huh? Just because he doesn’t say it often doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he can ask about things or talk about stuff.”

Grey> “More than five times less than twenty. He’s stupid though, how would you know he knew he could ask if he doesnt feel like he could say it? Doesnt matter now I guess with that collar on you he’ll be too freaked out to do much of anything”

Jo> “..Oh. ….Because he knows me? Because neither of us is going to judge or fly off the handle? Because I haven’t gone running yet? ….shut up, fuck you.”

Grey> “If he knows you he knows that your terrified of getting attached and won’t bring it up for fear of driving you away. I’m just stating facts.”

Jo> “Otherwise known as caring and respecting a loved ones boundaries. And you say that like we’re not attached, because we are, so shove off. …you’re being a dick with the truth.”

Grey> “Otherwise known as being spineless. Wait until he wants to get married then see how attached you are. Better than just being a dick right?”

Jo> “There’s a difference - one is being respectful, the other has no basis other than fear for it. …. ………. Let’s not talk about that, ever, again. Oh shut up..”

Grey> “So how do you know he’s doing it out of respect instead of fear? Just wait.”

Jo> “Because, I just do. …And I said again…”

Grey> “Uh huh. You’re going to run when you see that little box.”

Jo> “…. ….I’m not going to run..” Mental commentary: “I’m going to politely say I need time to think, excuse myself and go hide under the covers. The fastest will be a brisk walk. Yes. No running. It’d be fine.”

Grey> “Yes you are. Watching him bend his knee and go into his pocket for it is just going to scare you so badly you’re going to take off running like a scared deer.” Awwww poor Jo

Jo> “No. I’m… I have more restraint than that even if that /isn’t/ my response.” Think she’d feel bad for it but..unless she suggests it she’ll probably freak.

Grey> “You’re right, cause he’s probably going to do it in public. You wouldnt want to make a scene. All those eyes on you expecting to say yes especially his when he looks so happy and expectant.” He wouldnt ask. I mean like… probably never unless they actually had a kid. Because he knows it wouldnt work

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/VIirTZQWJBg?t=30s *crying* Guess Jo has a penis where her vaginas supposed to be)

Grey> (SO DEAD. Oh Woody Harrelson you are always hilarious)

Jo> “…shut up. How do you know the answer would be no? Or that I wouldn’t be the one askin’? Everyone’s always calling me the boy of us…” Cue gray laughing head off. And yeah, no - I’d figured he probably wouldn’t, what’s sad is a marriage would work but proposing the idea wouldnt. (IKR? He’s a gay sports writer)

Grey> “Because you don’t do commitment? You… ask him… *laughing*” *nods* He’d figure they couldnt therefore wouldnt ask unless its a kid in which case he’d feel like “this is a family now” and ask. (He’s hilarious. I lost it)

Jo> “I do sometimes. …. *tries not to laugh as well* Yeah, okay shut up..” Yep - which I think he might be able to get a yes if he didn’t say it was cause she was preg or had had a baby, mde the family comment instead. (LOL Yeeep)

Grey> “Fine. That was funny enough I’ll shut up. *still laughing*” *nods* I think his approach would be something like “I’d like for us to be a family. And I want to be officially part of that family.” Plus that way if something happens to Jo the kids stay with him. (Armpit girl? Do I even want to know…)

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/GJucbfuvh-A armpit girl)

Grey> (Oh Justin baby what is it with you and crazy broads)

Jo> “Glad you enjoyed it… *fails at holding back a giggle* Okay seriously, I’m not that bad.. or I’m not the worst, so shuddup.” Yeah, that would actually probably work. (Yeeeep)

Grey> “Not the worst? Right okay compared to like me or something.” And of course Grey would have the sense enough not to try to make a big affair of it, nor would he want to

Jo> “There are worse people out there without going straight to you, Gray.” Yep yep - big affair woul get a no.

Jo> (Oh god, I forgot the guy in this has a stutter when he was nervous)

Grey> “*indignantly* Are not. I’m the worst. End of discussion.” *slaps Gray for wanting to look like the horrible monster again* I think the closest he’d come to that was asking if she wanted her mother there or any close friends. (So dead)

Jo> “Sure thing, I just meant there were people between the two of us on the worse scale is all.” *snickers at him* lol true true. Knowing Jo she’d not want much, or until after. (Yeeep)

Grey> “Nope. You’re close enough to me there’s no one left between us.” *nods* Jesse go to bed jo harvelle gray chat complete Aug 21st, 2012

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protagonistheavy · 3 years

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Concluded Ben 10 and wow yeah that's a really weak ending. Extremely weak especially considering the bit of hype that goes into it. The season one finale was way more exciting lol.

A lot of small problems roll out into big flaws for this two-parter. The gimmick is that a new villain rounds up eight of Ben's previous enemies, so including himself and his Genji Shimada minion, they make up... the Negative Ten. Which is just... a silly concept as all hell for a serious villain to come up with. The Negative Ten. Jesus.

It's not a bad idea but unfortunately none of the villains here are interesting to bring together. There's just a lot of stinkers in here that viewers wouldn't really feel attached to, certainly not very much be afraid of. You've got guys like the three clown bozos... Sublimino, the hypnotist... Rojo? Do you remember Rojo? The girlboss biker that Vilgax possessed and gave alien tech to? Yeah not only does she have a name apparently, but she got a HUGE makeover and for some reason wants to kill Ben that badly. It's just a weird mix of characters, like Charmcaster and Amino make sense, but then the worst part is that they have NO chemistry together in this evil alliance. In fact they have NEGATIVE chemistry, the whole gimmick to defeating them turns out to be... yeah, just making them jealous of each other and making them fight one another. Ughhh.

And then we don't get any good resolution with the Forever King or his Genji buddy! These two masked dudes come out of no where... and we don't learn anything about either of them. Just the identity of the Forever King, which is... a newly introduced character. It's just really lame to introduce villains as these big threats, only to kick them in the knees and make them seem so pathetic. Forever King sounds menacing, but he gets outplayed at every angle... so that sorta makes him unappealing.

And why the fuck is Ben pulling out NEW ALIENS at the last minute of the series lol? He just transforms into this Laser Eye Dude for one of the final fights, a dude we've never seen before. Wtf? I just think the writers at this point didn't really understand that people would want to see the aliens they're USED to seeing. This would've pissed me off as a kid! Like, where the hell are the classic aliens? Or at least an alien that we've KINDA seen Ben use? Like, Ben never uses that werewolf or mummy or Viktor guy... Where are they? Why'd he go some laser eye guy instead of like, Heatblast and get the same effect? Really weird choice to just bust out a new alien lol unless I missed an episode or something?

There's also this Cooper kid, ugh. It's like an escort mission in the series finale. Sooo lame. I just dislike this kid, his attitude, his presence, being included so last-minute, and for nothing. He serves no purpose that the other characters couldn't lol. Sigh.

Anyway. A disappointing conclusion to a really cool series. But there's always Ben 10 Alien Force and the like three other spinoffs, so I still have plenty to enjoy. I'm gonna swap over to a different show for awhile though, then probably come back to Ben 10 in a month or so.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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let's see those Prime Numbers for the ask meme

2) favorite albums?

well i was Ready for kesha’s album Warrior to come out in iiii think it was the end of 2012 or early 2013?? i snuck out to that tour in dc that summer also. totally solid album and it was fun to have something so fun during a totally Not Fun period lol. i was also pretty into owl city at the exact same time lmao, that’s Blatantly for when you’re depressed lol...and i also eventually saw that guy on tour when a new album came out in 2015, and that was fun too, and was Enjoying Myself a factor in the tipping point of “ah jeez i gots 2 get outta here” that i had in the next month? maybe! and uhhh i listened a lot to the phoenix te amo album. that one wasnt tied to anything at all but i have heard it So much. super short and also rock solid and relistenable. and then here we are and the bmc obcr is a gift to the world b/c a) it exists and b) Cuz It All Slaps and c) it’s so fun to either sing or dance along, or cry along if it’s the agtikbi reprise and d) lgw... and e) all the eternal, well-mixed wroland vocals

3) favorite memes?

oh god lmao idk......real earlier 10s stuff was the I Say Hey he-man meme, and the “that really rustles my jimmies” meme which was real underrated......there’s been plenty of Memes where i’ve been like “this one is funny to me Every Time” but of course now looking back on it it’s like. what’s a meme??? Vine

(skipping 5 & 11 cuz that’s the Entirety of someone else’s ask and i don’t wanna just have to scrap theirs completely and i’ll get to it next!!)

11) favorite fanarts?

you know what, there’s continuously been a ton of amazing fanart where i’m like, i’m so glad i’m seeing this, & this is Artistic Fuel, and marge simpson anime has really been just this Standout Experience lmao like......idk for as Inspiring as it is, there’s only a couple things i’ve drawn that are Directly inspired, but i just flip for it all the time and like, it’s supremely expressive and like, comics that aren’t chronological but more like a Collage Of a Moment / Concept which i think is super cool and also i love when stuff reminds me that it doesn’t have to look ~super cleaned up~ to look great.

13) favorite people you know?

oh god this one really got out of control lol i started like, talking about everyone ever from this past decade. so for Convenience i’m interpreting this as “people *i* know, but they don’t know me” so that i can cheat and say will roland, voted person of the year 2019. by extension, essential supporting crew who helped us reach this point, like john simpkins or joe iconis. leave it at that!! it’s 5am and you know i’m not lying. who knew where going “wow, This guy” in late 2018 would have so much Value.

17) a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

oof hmm.......amnesia tdd didn’t really have a “fandom” even though it obviously got a lot of attention, it’dve been fun if it had though lol. it’s tricky to answer this one cuz i always prefer like, smaller fandoms and/or finding the Niche or some other way of just like, interacting with a small corner of things, so i’m never like wow god damn wish i’d been absolutely in the thick of it with this thing. i’ve been in Corners n Niches and it’s been fine by me, really

19) a fandom that you had the best time in?

HMM lol.........marble hornets sure was fun but like, a lot of that was just the content itself and not necessarily The Fan Experience, tho i sure got a lot out of it in a ton of ways. i mean tbh that’s true of each thing i’ve really Gotten Into majorly, i go hard af and then walk out the other side with these #connections or #experiences like whoa where’d these come from lol!! but really like, overall, i’m probably having the best time right now. the “fandom” is basically just our agenda lmao but like i said i’m always having the best time when it’s a pretty niche deal, And the sheer variety of Contents n Characters to draw from here is super nice, and the fact that it’s like, oh yeah and i’m finally recognizing this should’ve-been-obvious entire Passionne i’ve had since always, and that’s great too, and like, also just having the Variety Of Live / Current Unfoldings that go down.....like, everyone havin fun with the Joe Iconis Xmas Xtrav was entirely great. and just the Engagement level is basically the best, cuz like there’s the times where maybe i’ll get a zillion notes and that’s definitely fun in its own way but i always enjoy just the way smaller amount of ppl who are Particularly Enthusiastic, and like, there’s times where like, maybe i’m *technically* in this larger circle of ppl but like, totally more of like a Tangent or peripheral to that circle or whatever lol........this feels like a really solid balance of like, being sorta in this orbit of people in a chill way, but also definitely the direct interactions Existing, which is always important lol but hasn’t always been a constant throughout my Fandom Experiences at all

23) who were you at the beginning of this decade?

2009-2010 was a real distinct year lol i was in my second year of college in the middle of my teens, when i’d hardly really been getting to Explore My Interests Freely up to that point and still wasn’t, but all of a sudden it’s like goddamn i have to figure out my major???? and i’m like, obviously in the middle of only just now Really getting to figure out my identity in this deeper and more genuine way, thanks to being lucky enough to Live On Campus and be away from home like, 2/3 of the year, but i was just like, oh god i’m in Stress Hell now all the time cuz like. i’m trying to figure out my whole thing and what my ~Career~ should be and i just have no idea but am like, trying super hard all the time lol it was not successful and i was just really stressed about it all the time. i was def quieter back then.....pretty lonely at the time, i did not get into mh and gain the presence of any Online Friends until late 2010, and i hadn’t yet been sort of accepted by a small faction of theatre people via my roommate’s connections.....i wasn’t at all Out yet, and was def In Progress of figuring it all out.....i didn’t have nearly the Self-Esteem i have now lmao, it was Not a great time and in a lot of ways ‘09-’10 was the start of a downturn into Worse Than Usual Times, though in Other ways it was definitely an upturn lol like. the latter related to stuff that was important to me / who i am, the former tied to the situations i was in and the godawful morale that resulted

29) a time when the worst case scenario happened but you pulled through?

well by the end of 2012 i had my Wrath Parent deluxe mad at me big time, AND i was stuck at home all of thee time with that (not at all hours but. every day.) it was terrible!!! tf was going on in 2013, cuz that shit was definitely like, a gross blur of a lot of indistinct misery. and then, relatedly, when it was so shitty in 2015 that i was like fantastic, i am so officially sick of this i’m outta here. i revisited some Misery Posts from that period lately for someone stranger on twitter’s project or something, and boy i was having a bad time Summer Of ‘15 lol, things not getting better at home And a job that was so shitty that it was like..................bye. lol. and then i spent a year living out of a minivan. which was real lucky in ways b/c like. infinitely better than if i had not had that minivan. and when that broke down i was also then lucky enough to have this friend who was relatively nearby who’d also been willing to just like, set me up to Not have to ask the lgbt center where that trans-friendly forest zone a couple cities over was. nothing as dramatic as it could’ve been, fortunately

31) a time you were scared?

hmmm when leaving The Parents Home overnight, that was intimidating. bit of completely jumping into the unknown there, and also like, when you spend your lifetime assuming that Someone’s Arbitrary Wrath will be uponst you always, it’s hard to shake that sense of dread and doom, like ah jeez i am really potentially bringing hell on myself here........and like i mentioned with Start Of The Decade, there was just a ton of fear there all the time lol, trying to figure out virtually overnight The Whole Of Who I Am And What I Want when i’d only just even gotten to start......also i wanna say i maybe came out in 2011?? and i sort of also felt obligated to come out to my parents also (plus i think i was giving them like, one last chance to surprise me and be decent and kind of Grow Up themselves even tho i was the like, 16 y.o.) which yknow, kids you do not have to come out to anyone at all. someone was talking the other day abt how they didn’t think lgbtq “discourse” had evolved as much as you’d hope over the past decade, but idk about that, it's only a little bit of a wildly complex topic, and for starters Online Trans “Discourse” of a decade back was wayyyyyy in a vastly different place than it is now, leaps and strides really. so the way to ~really~ do it was presented kind of more rigidly i think. anyways i did it via email and was incredibly stressed to even open the reply a couple days later lol......which ended up being really weird and vague, and then there was a phone call where no one brought it up, and the only result was increased ire and resentment :( ........and then there was still like, cops encounters! near or not-as-bad-as-they-could’ve-been vehicular collisions! but tbh generally my reaction to the latter was underwhelming, except for one particular time when i was a passenger and also tense af for the rest of the ride. that’s it for Immediate fear really lol......oh wait one time i was at this decent sized Convention Panel Event and when i’m nervous i can Only talk more (it’s possible!!) and i snuck into line for the q&a and Right when i got to the mic (intimidating) they were like oop we’re low on time, lightning round!! :’] that was obviously more just a crapton of l’anxiete

37) a fashion that fell out of style that you wish would make a resurgence?

were Gladiator sandals this decade? the strappy deals that like, went up the ankles / calves? that was in fashion for a year or two and i’m into it. i like sandals and that kind of drama

41) something you learned a lot that not a lot of other people might know about?

i don’t know that i learned way a lot of anything that’s real in-depth knowledge and niche lore.........i have learned Nothing

43) an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

i had???? lmao well either way let’s say current relationships count and like, pretty much everyone in my Sphere i value a lot! i never like, have or have had a ~close~ ring of ppl around me lol like i thought it was lucky if i talked to someone Every Day (and not at all the Usual thing) and now it’s more likely that i talk to two people every day and maybe that sounds sarcastic but it’s not at all lol. i know my social stats aren’t impressive but i so appreciate what i get to enjoy and have. and other Connections might be way more like, we are friendly acquaintances, we talk on rare occasions, we haven’t talked at all in ages, we talk but only to trade cute pics of cats, Etc etc, but i seriously do appreciate all of everyone who’s cool who i get to interact with in any way and like, be in each other’s spheres and Not just like, absolutely on nobody’s radar. also obviously soph you are here in that list in case i wasn’t implying it good enough lol it is 5am and god knows deciphering what i say at any time can be its own challenge.....ur Epic Highs and Lows of bmc 3.0 is so good lmao

#hell yeah tysm now also i should go for Passing Outs #(where you pass out like knocking out)#thank you Three Other Asks i see and appreciate it as well #oh wait shit four!!!#lol #it's 5:20am bed time bitch all day hit the hay #i forget what i say here i've been on and off doing whatever for the past 5 hrs obviously lmao #nothingunrealistic1

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Final result of the anti-anxiety daily walk super plan!

I failed at the last hurdle lol. But also sorta not?? Cos i mixed up the days and technically i should bhave finished on the 5th but i was going until the 7th. So i ended up doing 8 days and just missed the 9th when i never wanted to do 9 in the first place so TECHNICALLY i won???

And really it kinda wasnt my fault here, i didnt ditch the last lap around the neighbourhood cos of anxiety but cos the weather is EVEN SHITTIER THAN USUAL TODAY. Hot weather and britain really do not mix, we have no airconditioning and are used to cold rainyness all year round so our houses are built to stay warm. And everytging's crowded so going outside is heat hell too! Its been sweaty AF all week and im proud of myself for still being able to keep up the daily walk despite that. Probably got better exercise than expected, tho it also made it harder to be non anxious in crowds! Some days were too hot to wear my binder without fainting, and i legit have never been out in short sleeves and non baggy clothes for almost ten years. So again, very proud of myself! Icm becoming way more comfortable going into crowds as The Me and Not Dying! But today was the absolute worst hottest day in an already horrible summer, and i just couldnt do it. I did go out for a small walk technically but i literally just went 20 metres and then went back indoors cos i was Already Dead. I joined a pokemon go raid with another dude tho so that was almost a functional social interaction! XD but yeah after ten minutes of resting in the shade doing pokems it became apparant i was not gonna be able tp bounce back from this potential heatstroke lol. But i didnt count it as a walk cosi didnt even gegt one kilometre. But then again the original intent was anti anxiety rather than the most exercise, so maybe it did cpunt cos it was stressful sweaty gross day and the road outside my house was pretty crowded and all? Ehhi probably should have decided on the actual rules for this thing before i started doing it, lol...

Anyway final result was 14km walked in the super sun, and thats not half bad! Thats double the very minimal goal i set of a 1km lap of the neighbourhood each day. And i prevailed through 4 mildly socially awkward situations, which shall each be a quarter of a point, perhaps! I do not know what i win with my 15 points but i sure do have them!

But alas i might be a tad delayed on the drawing prompt monster i was gonna make at the end of the week. Its so fuckon hot that my computer whirrs up to potentially dangerous heats after just an hour of work. And my keyboard and chair are also Burning, and for the most part i can block out the screen glare but its still throwing off my perception of colours and contrast. I was absolutely heat destroyed just doing that stupid lil nintendo switch photo edit to warm up my skills :(

But i have doodled a bunch of potential designs! So if u guys wanna see this unfinished stuff in bad phone photo form, i could upload that? Or i can just try and stay up all night and hope it cools down enough in the brief 4-5 hour window of darkness we have. Seriously i havent been getting good sleep for ages, i cant sleep without a semi weighty blanket on my shoulders yet it boils me alive yet if i try and sleep without the blanket im just laying awake for hours and then i still wake up from boiling alive just slightly less so. Alas! And ive been trying to do strategies like sticking the blanket up over the window as improvised curtains cos MY DUMB HOUSE HAS NO CURTAIN RAIL but it keeps falling down even when i nail it in. I cant use proper big nails cos the landlord said only sticking up posters with tape and stuff. I think i might be allowed to paint the walls tho but thats irrelevant.

ANYWAY BUNNI IS A BAKED POTATO AND RAMBLING FROM STRESS OK BYE

Im gonna go doodle more and try and not die

#defeat depression with monsters challenge

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chmergess4ever · 6 years

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The Chmerkovskiy’s (Part 7)

Hey Guys! Here’s the next part of The Chmerkovskiy’s. Fair warning, this one is super long but it has a lot of chmergess and chmergatroyd in here so I hope you enjoy! I plan on continuing so just let me know if you’d like me to! Like/Reblog!

“I wanna stay.” Val was gathering his stuff from around the room and packing his suitcase.

Sharna walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She shook him back and forth gently and said, “Stay.” She got up on her tiptoes to kiss him. “Stay.” She whispered.

“I can’t.”

“For me?”

“Sharna, you know I would give the world for you. But I have to go back to start working on Confidential. There are two weeks left. We can do this.”

“Almost there.”

Val pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead pausing there as they took in the moment.

Emma walked in the door, “Sharna- The bus is all packed and -” She paused when she saw them, “Oh sorry.”

“No Em. It’s ok.” She kissed Val again and then turned around letting go of his hand last minute. “Love you, babe.”

“Love you too.”

Sharna felt tears stream down her face as she walked away from him with Emma. Emma rubbed her back and they walked down in silence together. “Two Weeks, Shar.”

The two weeks sped by. Nothing eventful happened and tour ended great, the last show was a matinee and it had been the best of them all. Sharna walked out to the buses first, now always sure she wasn’t ever the last one in the room, and greeted her fans. She gave them hugs, took selfies and signed autographs.

“Sharna!” A girl called her name from down the line. She made her way to her and gave her a hug when she got there. The girl handed her a huge gift bag. “This is for you and Val. To open together.”

“Awww thank you sweetheart. He’s going to love this.”

“I love you guys. So much.” The girl started crying.

Sharna brushed her face, “We love you too. Give me a hug.”

“Can we take a picture?”

“Of course we can!”

After taking a picture, Sharna was called back on the bus. She sat down on the farthest couch and saw she had a missed facetime from Peta. She pulled her knees up to her chest, getting comfortable and facetimed her back.

“Thank God.”

Sharna laughed, “What’s up, P?”

“Just needed to talk to a girl. Living with these two fools is getting difficult.”

“Where are ya right now?”

“Shai’s room.”

“Alone?”

“Yea. Why?”

“So I’m going to be home tonight. I told Val tomorrow cause I wanted to surprise him, but can I come over?”

“Are you kidding? That’s a yes.”

“Thank you, P. You’re the greatest.”

“So i’ll see you in how long?”

“Like 2 hours tops?”

“Yesss. See you then.”

Peta hung up the phone and walked down the hallway to find Maks. He was in the kitchen cooking dinner for the three of them. Peta wrapped her arms around his waist and stood on her toes. She still couldn’t reach him so he bent down backwards so she could, she pressed a kiss into his neck and whispered into his ear, “Dinner's for 4.”

He looked at her confused and whispered, “She’s coming tonight?”

Peta nodded silently and smiled, “He’s going to flip out.”

“We’re going to be up all night.”

“What? Why-” Peta realized what he was insinuating, “Oh. Yea, I suppose so.”

Maks turned around and pulled her into him, “Maybe we should make some good use out of it.” He started nibbling at her ear.

“Hey. Hey.” Not over the food. Val just walked in the door from the gym. He walked over to plate of cut vegetables and took a snap pea. “I’m going to call Sharna and then I’m getting in the shower.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Peta smiled

Val walked away and Peta whispered to Maks, “Ok?”

“What?” “Sounds like a plan.”

Val got back to his room and threw his stuff down, he sat down in his chair as he dialed her number.

“Hey baby.” She spoke into the phone.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing just on the bus. Waiting to start driving. What about you?”

“Nothing. Just got back from the gym. Maks is cooking dinner.”

“Sounds good.”

“Can’t wait for tomorrow.”

“Me either, babe. Me either. Sooner than we know.”

They hung up shortly after, but Sharna stalled him just enough so the timing would work out perfectly. The tour bus pulled into their meeting place and they all got off and cleared it. After everyone had their stuff they made their rounds of saying goodbye to each other.

“Shar? Did you need a ride home?” Lindsay called over her shoulder as she started getting in Sam’s car.

“Um, actually, Can I? That’d be awesome.”

“Get your little tush over here.”

Sharna went and put her stuff in the car and then got in the back seat. “Actually, Linds, is there anyway you guys can drop me at Val’s?”

Lindsay laughed, “of course we can.”

They got there 10 minutes later. Sharna got her stuff out of the trunk and then went to Lindsay’s window, “Thanks girl.”

“Go have fun.”

Sharna winked at her and walked up the path.

Peta opened the door as she saw her approaching through the window.

“Ahhhhhh.” Sharna hugged Peta and they screamed and jumped up and down in circles. They made their way into the house and Peta pushed her backwards, “How was tour?!?!”

“Amazing. As usual. Just a little different this time. Different circumstances.”

Peta acted dumb, “Oh yeah, like what?”

“Oh you know, there may be this guy that I’m like sorta in love with back here.”

“Uh huh.” Peta smiled.

Sharna nodded as Peta pointed down the hallway, “Go!”

Sharna walked down the hallway into his room which was empty. She heard the shower still running so she gently set her bags down and took her shoes off. She creeped into the bathroom so quiet, you could hear a pin drop as she began undressing herself. She opened the shower curtain and climbed in behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to his back.

“Surprise.” She whispered.

He turned around, wrapping his arms around her waist and gasped, “Oh my God. You’re back!”

“Mhm hmmm.”

He kissed her and lifted her up so her legs were wrapped around his waist. He then pressed her up against the wall and kissed her further, “I missed you so much.” He murmured with his lips against her body.

“I missed you too. More than you know.”

“I think you were right about that the night.” Peta started washing the pans Maks wasn’t using anymore, “Do you hear that?”

Maks chuckled, “I somehow feel like they’re not going to bother us that much.”

Maks walked over to where Peta was standing and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her letting his tongue take dominance in her mouth. “Mine.” He whispered as he broke from her and began walking back to the stove.

Back in Val’s room they got dressed in sweats while Sharna recounted the past two weeks and told him everything that had happened.

“And he didn’t come back, right?”

“No.”

Val opened his arms wide for her to walk into, “I missed so much. Now I can protect you.”

After, they had dinner with Maks and Peta. It was enjoyable. Sharna told them everything about the tour and even about Paul.

“What a asshole.” Maks clenched a fist.

“He’s got it fucking coming to him.” Val shook his head as he took a bite of his food.

“You’re ok now though, Shar?” Peta asked.

Sharna grabbed Val’s hand, “yea, I’m good. I got all I need. Right here.” Val turned and kissed the side of her head.

Once they finished dinner, Peta and Sharna moved to the kitchen to start washing dishes. Peta was washing, as Sharna was drying. The guys had helped clear the table and then left them alone in the kitchen to have some girl time. Peta turned to her best friend, “Why didn’t you tell me, Sharna?”

Sharna shook her head and swallowed, “I just- I didn’t want to get everyone here worried, he didn’t do anything.”

“But he could have.”

“What would you have done from here?”

“Been there for you- I don’t know.”

“P, I love you, I do. But nothing could have helped me in that moment. Not you, not Val. Nobody.”

“I’m sorry, Shar. If I ever cross paths with him-”

“It’s ok. Let’s just forget about it and enjoy the time we have now.”

Peta nodded and continued to wash the dishes. Shortly after, Sharna felt Maks’ hand on her back. “You’re excused. My brother wants you.” He laughed.

Sharna turned to look up at Maks, “But I’m not done yet.”

“I’ll take over from here. Spend a little extra time with this one. Ughh. Kill me.” He said sarcastically as he pointed at Peta. She jabbed him in the stomach as he laughed.

Sharna put the towel down and then moved to the island to grab her phone, “Thank you.”

“He’s in his room.”

Sharna nodded and left.

She walked down the hallway and into his room, he was laying on the bed scrolling through his phone but put it down immediately when he saw her. He patted the empty space next to him. She put her finger up to him indicating one minute and moved to where her luggage was. She took the gift bag from the fan she had met earlier and another smaller box. She put the smaller one down at the side of the bed and lifted the gift bag onto the bed climbing on it and snuggling in next to him.

“What’s this?”

��This. Is a gift that a fan gave me earlier. She said it was for me and you to open together.” Val raised his eyebrows and smiled, “For the both of us?”

“Yea, I guess.” Sharna shrugged her shoulders.

Val sat up straighter and put his hand on Sharna’s back as she began unpacking the gift. She pulled out a card and laughed when she saw who it was addressed to. On the envelope it read, “Chmergess” written in bold script lettering. Sharna opened the card and read it out loud,

Sharna and Val,

All I can say is FINALLY. How long did it take for the two of you to recognize

you were supposed to be together. I mean, Jeez. LOL.

But in seriousness, I can’t explain to you how happy it makes me to know that

you are together. You give meaning to the words true love and I’m so happy I get to

watch it unfold on social media. If I could ever find someone who loves me nearly as

much as it seems you two love each other, then I know I’ll be set.

Sharna, you are my role model. So to see you happier than I have ever seen

you, is so special. Thank you for everything you have done to teach me about life and

love. Can’t wait to meet you tonight. Val, you’re amazing and I have no words to

describe how awesome I think you are. You treat my Sharna right.

Ok. So there are a bunch of little gifts. Hope you love them all. Love you guys.

-Skylar

Sharna smiled and teared up a little bit before putting the card to her side. Val rubbed her back as she started unpacking the rest of the gift. She pulled out the tissue paper to reveal a bunch of wrapped presents. She opened the first one which revealed a picture frame with held a picture that he had posted on instagram of them kissing. She handed it to Val to look at before he put it down. He grabbed the next gift and she grabbed another one. They opened all the tiny gifts which were things commemorating their relationship.

“This is so sweet.” Sharna spoke as she opened what she thought was the last gift.

“Wait, babe. There is one more.” Val reached inside the bag and opened it. It revealed a box, and inside there were two black string bracelets with plaques on them. One engraved with SMB and one engraved with VAC. With them, there was a note “Wear each others.”

“I love these.” Sharna took them out of the box. “You going to wear it?” “Of course I am.” He put out his wrist for her and she slipped the bracelet on that said SMB. She then took the other and put it on her arm. “Now I have you with me, wherever I go.”

Val took her face in his hand and kissed her, “I’m so glad you’re back.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t know Maks, I just don’t like it. That guy is a lunatic.” Peta said as she continued washing the plates.

“But he didn’t hurt her.”

“And what’s going to stop him from trying again?”

“My brother.” He put the dish towel down and turned her around so she was facing him and leaning against the counter, “And me.” He kissed her. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt our family.”

Peta nodded as he kissed her again. She broke from him, “I’m going to go check on Shai.”

“Already did. Before I relived Sharna of her duties. He’s doing well. Sleeping.”

“Well, then I’m going to do laundry.”

“Done. Earlier in the day. Why are you trying to get away from me, Mrs. Chmerkovskiy?”

“Cause I don’t think we’re going to make it to the bedroom if I don’t.” She whispered.

“And is that a problem?” He whispered back.

Peta closed the gap gap between their mouth slowly and just as they were about to kiss she stretched her hand behind her back, picked up a big handful of bubbles from the sink and put them all over his face. “Yes.” She whispered as she started laughing.

Maks threw himself backwards, “Oh you are so going to get it.”

Peta escaped and ran into the living room as Maks picked up two handful of bubbles and chased her. They ran in circles around the couch and back into the kitchen, to which Peta picked up to handfuls of bubbles, “Now we’re evenly stacked.”

Maks threw one handful which landed on her shoulder. She ran at him and put them in his hair. He caught her and wrapped his arms around her from behind letting his bubbles disappear. He spun her around in circles as she laughed making her bubbles disintegrate.

Val and Sharna heard them laughing from his room. “This is what I’ve had to put up with for the past weeks. These two are still in honeymoon stage.”

“I mean, so are we.” She winked and kissed him.

“Yeah, now I stand a chance at balancing them out.”

Sharna went to grab her phone that was laying in front of her. “What are you doing?” He asked her.

“Well, first. I’m going to thank this girl for all our gifts privately and publicly. Then, I’m going to take a picture of me and my boyfriend, whoever he is, so I can post it for our anniversary.”

Val opened his eyes wide, “Anniversary?”

“Tomorrow’s our two month anniversary. You didn’t remember?”

Val pretended to be shocked but then couldn’t hold it anymore, he started laughing, “You really think I’d forget?” He leaned over into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a David Yurman box.

She gasped, “Val. It’s two months.”

“Feels like it’s been years with you. The love that I have for you can’t be explained by time. Plus it’s just an excuse to buy you a gift.”

She opened it to reveal a classic David Yurman ring for her pointer finger.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.” She grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his. “I love it so much.”

She then bent down to the side of the bed and picked up a square David Yurman box. “I guess we had similar ideas.”

Val laughed, “Oh ok, Mrs. It’s been two months.”

Sharna laughed, “I just didn’t expect you to get me anything. Doesn’t mean I couldn’t buy something for you.”

Val opened the box to reveal a slate black dog tag and chain. “This is amazing. Thank you so much.” He took it out of the box and put it on.

“Just a night full of gifts!”

He kissed her again, “Yea, but having you back you’re the only gift I need.”

#chmergess #Chmergessfanfic #chmergessfanfiction #valandsharna #sharnaandval #chmergatroyd #chmergatroydfanfic #maksandpeta

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ptonkin · 6 years

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none of the spoilers thus far have mentioned anything about hayley's death or her being resurrected. there's been nothing about anyone trying to bring her back or really any sort of aftermath of her death. all that's been said is elijah is going to be upset, hope spirals and the siblings split because they feel they're better apart + that it's best for hope (i forget how hayley's death tied into that bs tho but it did)

I suppose the siblings splitting in the end is the sorta expected ending if they’re gonna avoid killing Klaus off tbh (which, I never expected klaus to survive his story in the end, so the fact that they’re not killing him off... well I won’t say it surprises me because any disappointment from this show is no longer a surprise; but I honestly and truly expected klaus to die in the end) but at the same time the impact of this final choice they make won’t be as big as the writers are expecting it to be I imagine, because of all the time they’ve just spent apart.It’s expected because finally Klaus has let his family go. The 90 year stretch from the 1920’s until the 2010’s was legit the longest time in a thousand years that at least two of the siblings weren’t together and that was because Klaus had finally reached breaking point in that he would rather be ‘alone’ without the active company of his siblings than have them by his side breathing and thinking of ways to betray him.Then everything that happened in the decade since he found his precious Petrova doppelgänger again has basically taught Klaus that he can keep his family from betraying him, they can love him and be loyal to him... but they need setting free in order for them to be able to do that. Whilst they’re little birds trapped in a cage, they’re gonna keep betraying him because as much as they love him they want something more out of their forever (especially Rebekah - god she loves him, more than herself, but she’s always wanted someone to love her too) so I guess you could say that Klaus’ journey has ended up with him learning the true meaning of “if you love something let it go and if it loves you back it’ll return” because they do keep on returning, Rebekah and Kol that is, now they’re free. Elijah hadn’t put that to the test yet (before the hollow got involved anyway) but with Rebekah and Kol it’d worked. And now those two have had their own sense of freedom and happiness for nearly a decade with people they love, can you ever, ever see all of them congregating back together; lovers and all, in the compound for any length of time past what’s necessary to defeat whatever is after them? I don’t think so. Their ending will essentially be them becoming a normal family lmao. A family that is bonded in the most incredible way, but one nonetheless that is no longer suffocatingly close, that’s not forced to be together through Klaus’ threats of the dagger and his intimidation. They’ll finally be a family that can be close and yet apart through choice.The only two siblings in the end I can see still remaining super close vicinity wise is Freya and Klaus and that’s because the abbatoir will probably remain Klaus’ home and by the sound of it Freya’s too. She’s seemingly settling in there with Keelin and their child to come, but she’ll be there by choice and it’s not necessarily a choice to remain close to Klaus, it’s a choice to remain where she found her family, where she found her peace and her freedom, where she found love and stability, so who can blame her?The originals sounds like it’s gonna end with the Mikaelson’s ending up like every other family. Close, but not 4 siblings and their lovers and kids all living in the same house except perhaps Christmas where Rebekah insists on coming home from nyc to spoil Hope and her new niece/nephew via Keelin and Freya.As for Hayley? I never expected they’d bring her back tbh, I think a lot of people have got false hope because they saw phoebe filming and think that because the writers know we saw the spoilers they’ll have done a 180. Like I’ve said before, phoebe will have been given a shorter contract, we already know this is true by the fact it’s been confirmed she’s missed at least two episodes, and she barely filmed for any after the episode Hayley dies in. So even if the writers did want to change their mind, it’s more than certain that they were simply too late. The death will have been approved by the network, contracts signed and filming days all worked out - simply no way to go back on their plan to hack her off. The build up to it already filmed, and no way to rectify because they didn’t have phoebe for enough time to solve it. So whilst there’s every chance the writers were like “oh fuck let’s see what we can do” the reality is that there was nothing they could do.I’m sad that Hayley won’t get to live out her days with her daughter and see her grow even further, especially when Hayley has probably found true peace and happiness with Hope in all the time she’s raised her alone - obviously with sad undertones that Hope doesn’t have the family that Hayley desperately wanted her to have, especially her father, but also content that she’s provided Hope with the best life possible and also content that if she can’t have a family like she wanted, at least she’ll always have her daughter. And I guess I’m sad over the choice of who will be raising Hope and essentially be taking the torch from Hayley when she dies. Hayley didn’t have to die for KC to become a thing, there’s honestly no need but Julie just clearly has to have her absolutely no doubts or anyone saying “oh but what if” about the two in the end, hence why she’s killed off all their lovers to really hit home that these two aren’t gonna go back to any old flames. (because they can’t quite frankly) I always always knew they were gonna come back round and do KC in the end. Ask legit anyone I’m close to on this hellsite I’ve been saying from day one I didn’t trust them to leave it alone. I’ve annoyed the living shit out of everyone because I wouldn’t stop saying “yeah but you know Julie she’s gonna do it” and everyone disagreed with me but when you know you know.There have been maybe two 5 minute periods in the last 5 years where I’ve been like “oh maybe they won’t do KC afterall” the first was when I heard that ster/oline we’re getting married but then I also heard like 5 minutes after that that one of the brothers was dying so I was like “lol of course it’ll be stefan” and then in the actual TVD finale for like 5 minutes I thought they were letting Damon actually die and I was so relieved and then no... lmao nooo I was sonwring and spent hours crying so... that’s that lmao.Did I know Kc was coming? Yeah. Did I ever expect them to kill Hayley off for it? No, and I’m sad they are but also not surprised at all that by the sounds of it Hayley’s gonna be tossed aside after her death and given no proper thought or mourning period aside from her funeral and her legacy will be that she fuckin died for Elijahs tears and memory’s to be restored. She deserved better.

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engagedtobefree · 6 years

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Phase 2: The First Conversation

Well, it happened. Definitely not the way I had pictured it, but it happened. If you ever have an embarrassing moment, don’t you fret. Just come back to this post and I can guarantee you will feel so much better about yourself. I wrote these every day of the week, so they are my thoughts exactly for that day. I’m already tired of waiting till the weekend and writing out the whole week at once lol. I wanted to leave them as-is so they’re my true thoughts..

Monday - So i got to say both hi and bye to Scott on Monday. I know i sound like the biggest dork but hey, whatever, progress is progress. I had some anxiety all day, which I think was an aftereffect from my other job on Sunday, which was just a rough day and I ended up staying an hour and a half late. I’m also doing a coffee detox, so I’m sure that’s effecting me somehow (besides me being really fucking tired).

So first “interaction” is I have to send an email, and one of the group emails I have to CC has Scott in it. I’m pretty sure this is the first email he’s ever received from me, but it’s not directly to him. Within the hour he sends an email out that has my group email CC’d. I’m pretty sure that’s also the first email I received ever from him. I stare adoringly at his bad punctuation and grammar several times throughout the day.

Before I get ready to leave work, I always use the bathroom. When I round the corner, Scott is coming out of the men’s room. He’s chewing on his coffee stirrer as usual and he has a little smirk and says, “Hey, Dana, what’s up?” and I reply softly, “Hey, Scott”. He is looking at me and makes eye contact. I look back at him and make eye contact for a split second but I get really nervous around him sometimes, so I break it off. I cannot explain how badly I want to just have a freaking conversation with him. I honestly do feel like a freaking 12 year old girl who can’t talk to her crush. Idk wtf is wrong with me lol. I’m generally usually at ease around guys and can talk to anyone who I have an interest in. But with Scott I go back and forth between nervous/shy and incredibly confident. Like, no in between. And I’m always wondering who is going to make the first move and how we’re ever gonna get into a conversation. Like he seems super easygoing, but he seems to get nervous around me too sometimes, but I really just want him to come up and talk to me about literally anything. He could tell me he had cheerios for breakfast and guaranteed I will take that and run a fucking mile with it.

So when I leave, I put my stuff in the car and get in and start it, but because it’s sleeting outside, ice is stuck to my windows, and the windshield wipers aren’t helping. I didn’t warm my car up so I get out to scrape the ice. As I’m halfway done the back window, someone comes out of the door. It takes me a second to look up, but when I do, it’s Scott and he’s looking at me. I wave and say, “Bye, Scott.” to which he just waves back, but doesn’t say anything. I continue scraping but then look back over at him with a little smile, and he’s still watching me and moving very slowly to get in his car. When I’m done, I open my car door and glance back at his, and then get in. As I pull out, he does so only a second or two after me. He trails behind me a bit though all the way to the highway, and I wonder if he’s just driving safe or doing it because he doesn’t want to make me uncomfortable. Or maybe he’s uncomfortable. Say what?? Hi, anxiety. I begin to wonder if I freaked him out, like if he thought I was waiting till he came out or something. I genuinely had to clean the ice off of my car, and any other time his car is already started yet I still leave. But of course my mind races like crazy. I had anxiety in general all day, like sometimes it gets so bad at work that I think I’m going to get fired for absolutely no reason. I will literally just start to think that, even though I have been told several times how well I’m doing and how happy they are to have me there. I cannot even explain how hard I work at controlling my anxiety and making it better through practicing daily healthy habits, but still it persists. It makes me want to bang my head against the wall and cry sometimes.

Tuesday - So Monday I made a promise to myself to try and not run into Scott or even look at him for 2 days. I know that it can’t always be helped, but I was not going to walk past his office and I was going to leave work exactly on time, this way I wouldn’t cross paths with him. So I was also hoping I wouldn’t have to go into the warehouse at all either. But then later on Monday night, I kept thinking how I just want him to fucking talk to me already. I want to be sure i can look at him and hold eye contact and not second guess his mixed ass signals.

So Tuesday, I go over to the printer and who is just walking in but Scott. I smile big at him and say “Hey, Scott.” and add on “How are you doing?”, which we both say at pretty much the same time. I stand in my cubicle doorway and turn, but he’s already walking toward his office

So 5 -10 minutes later I go and make some tea, and in those minutes Scott apparently went to the men’s room. He walks by me with a little smirk and we sideways glance at each other. He’s so close to me and I’m glad I wore my best perfume today (Gorgeous by Victoria’s Secret).

Later in the day I take an order to the warehouse, and on the way back I glance in Scott’s office, but he’s busy looking at something. About half an hour later I take another order out, and when I come back in i take my chance and look at Scott with a little smile. He’s turned around and facing the doorway and laughing, but all 3 guys are looking at me as I walk in, not just Scott. I quickly look away and am so embarrassed. I don’t want Chris or Steve to know I’m interested in Scott, and I’m hoping they were blissfully oblivious to my intentions. I wonder if Scott was facing the door on purpose though, cuz when I first walked past their office it was quiet, and I was only in the warehouse literally 2 minutes. It’s a possibility he saw me enter. But it’s maybe only the second time I’ve seen him smile with his teeth and it was so cute.

As I leave for the day, Scott is already in his car. I just give a little wave and he waves back. I left a minute late, and I’m kicking myself for it. He must have left EXACTLY at 4:45. If yesterday I made a pact with myself to not do anything (fail) and to leave on time (fail) and then to do something (sorta succeed), today I make a pact to leave exactly on time every single day going forward. And to also walk super slow and take my good ol’ time getting in my car. Since Scott comes in last, he leaves last; Chris and Steve leave before 4:45. I need to take full advantage of Scott being the last to leave. All I freaking want is to leave and for him to be right behind me and then stop me for a conversation. I can only take these “hey, what’s up"s and giving each other the eye for so long (3 weeks, apparently - I’m not very patient lol). I am so ready to just talk to the damn guy and flirt with him and go on a date (or 2 or 3 or 4 etc if all goes well).

Oh, and I was behind him the whole time on the highway. I was in the left lane first, but then he got over in the left lane too. I tried to keep a healthy distance between us, but no car got in front of me the whole time before I had to get off my exit. I don’t know if he noticed me behind him lol.

Wednesday/Today - So in the morning I’m over at the printer again, and surprise again Scott is behind me! He says “Hey, Dana”, but is just looking around everywhere but at me. I say “Hey, Scott”, but it gets stuck in my throat and I have to cough afterwards.

This man, ugh. He literally stared me down Monday as he was leaving, but then other times he just doesn’t look at me at all. I guess I’m pretty much the same way though lol. I start to wonder if Monday maybe he was thinking about coming over and talking to me. But then my thoughts kind of shift and I start to think maybe he doesn’t have an interest in me, that I’m just some younger girl giving him attention. Heyo, look who’s about to be proven wrong.

So I’m at Joyce’s cubicle talking, and I turn around to Scott at the coffee machine. This is it, I think. Sure enough, it is. We greet each other, and this time, instead of leaving it at “what’s up?” he turns his whole body toward me, ready for a conversation. I literally could not believe it was happening. I stand nervously in my cubicle doorway, beaming from literally every pore in my body because I am so elated. I ask him how his day’s going and he tells me it’s okay, just another day. I asked “Are you guys busy?” and he says “It’s on and off, ya know, it comes in spurts.” And I say “Yeah, that’s how this whole week has been for me”. He casually says “yeah, it’s only Wednesday though” and what do I say?? WHAT DO I SAY???? I’ll tell you what I said. I said “Well, I guess that’s why they call it humpday, it’s the hump to get over in the week haha”. Of all the freaking things I could have said, that is what came out of my mouth. His expression doesn’t change, but oh wow, does the flame of embarrassment come to life in my body. As I do when I get nervous, I keep talking. So I say “Uh, what time is it anyway, 2:00?”. I turn to look at my computer, as if I can actually see the tiny time in the corner from 5 feet away, and then I spin back around. Basically, I spin in a full circle. Good job, Dana. He had been looking at me, but then looks at his watch. I think afterwards I should have complimented his watch, but I was also not close enough to really mean it lol. He says “yeah, it’s 5 of”. I say something after this, but I honestly cannot tell you what I say because at this point the fire of embarrassment inside of me is more like an inferno. I can feel my heart rate has gone way up, and I am getting clammy. I’m pretty much borderline panic attack right now lol. My brain is screaming at me. I go into my cubicle and he turns back to the coffee machine.

If you thought the fun stopped there, think again, my friend. So I go into the cubicle with the filing boxes, and this damned chair is in the way. There had been 2, and I moved the other one previously, which Scott saw. So I’m rolling this other one out and I’m right where Scott is, and I stop to let this guy Dan go by. (Completely unrelated, but Dan and I are the only vegetarians here and our names are one letter off. I find this funny. Okay, continue.) I tell Dan to go by me and I say “I moved this chair out like 2 weeks ago, and someone keeps putting it back in there”. It’s not the whole truth, but hey, Scott is smiling, and not just his normal closed-mouth smile, but showing teeth. He’s still facing the coffee machine, but oh, it makes me so happy I put a smile on his face. So this part, this was good. The next part, ughh. So, I’m going through the filing boxes, and I take a bunch down, but then I realize, there is no way I’m going to be able to stack them back up. I hurt my back over a month ago and still have not been able to heal it, despite a long period of rest. It’s back to hurting pretty bad again, and I know that I really shouldn’t lift anything too heavy. I can stack the boxes one on top of the other still, but stacking them up 4 high is definitely not realistic. When it comes time, I enter Scott’s office. Keep in mind I am still in panic mode, at least 45 minutes later (thanks, anxiety). I’m in the doorway, asking if I can have help lifting the boxes since I hurt my back. Scott and Steve are in the office, and I’m trying to look at Scott, but don’t want to make it obvious, so I have to look at Steve too. I sound awkward af and I keep pulling my lips in. Scott and Steve keep looking awkwardly at each other, like “okay, who’s gonna get up and help her”. Scott sort of starts to get up, but Steve is right next to the door, so he gets up. Scott almost sits back down, but then follows Steve.

So Steve is unclear as to which boxes he needs to be lifting and where. In his defense there are a lot of boxes, but I feel it’s pretty obvious the ones in the hallway have to be moved lol. I turn red trying to point it out to him because Scott is right there, and as Steve goes to finally pick up a box Scott goes for it too and says “Here, you need help, dude?”, just joking with him. It was only 2 boxes, so Steve moves both, but then Scott says afterwards, “You got it?” and Steve tells him to shut up. Steve says to me”If you ever need help, just ask us” and I say “Thanks. Yeah, I was able to take them down, but I couldn’t lift them back up that high.” I was disappointed I couldn’t just get Scott, and I hope he doesn’t think I was playing damsel in distress, because I honestly wasn’t. He walks in and out of his office like twice and when I look at him, he’s not looking at me but he’s smirking. I have no idea how any of our interactions came off to him.

As I leave for the day, I leave at exactly 4:45, and I walk so slowly that it disgusts me (I am high-energy on the go at pretty much all times). I pause for a few seconds before slowly pushing open the one door. Then I painfully make my way just as slowly to my car, put my bags in, and wait. Dan comes walking out, but no Scott. I close my door, and start to put my gloves on (I always do this after I’m outside for some reason). Scott then comes out as I’m putting on my second glove. I look up and say “Bye, Scott!”. All he gives me is a quick glance and a “See ya”. I feel disheartened. I read into every little thing, and he always, always, ALWAYS says my name. Even though Monday he didn’t say anything and just waved, but shit, I’d rather have that. I look at him as he’s at his car, but he doesn’t look up at all. Dan pulls out, then me, then maybe 15 seconds behind me, Scott.

So my thoughts on today are very mixed. Now with some perspective, what I said was probably not damaging enough for Scott to lose interest. at least, that’s what I’m hoping. He had a little smile on his face the whole time we talked, and he looked a little nervous too. Also, we made eye contact, which was awesome, even though there was like 8 feet in between us. I made him smile too, so bonus points. He also kept lingering at the coffee machine and was stocking it, which no one does except Joyce. He stocked it with the tea I love, since I drank it all since I’m doing my coffee detox lol. I could have restocked it myself, but meh. I’m hoping he’s not put-off by the small talk, as everyone has to start somewhere. I can only hope he found my embarrassing self cute and endearing, and not off-putting. I am also hoping that this is what has finally broke the ice. I’m hoping now that when I see him I can now initiate conversation. Here’s to hoping. Also, still hoping we cross paths outside. It would be nice if he would just ask me out so that we could get to know each other that way. It’s so hard finding something to talk about at work since we don’t have any reason to interact. I could always ask him his weekend plans or how his weekend was, but that would specifically require me to talk to him on a Monday or Friday, which is no guarantee. I’m so happy he initiated talking to me, as it means he does truly have (or had LOL) an interest in me. It also means he was ready to go beyond the “hey what’s up”s as well, which I never would have guessed, because it seemed like he was okay with staying there. I hope he surprises me some more and talks to me again. :) We shall see. I’m still someowhat embarrassed and have no idea what he thinks, but there’s always tomorrow and Friday for me to try again. And then even days after those too. Here’s to me hopefully redeeming myself.

#hot damn i wrote a shit ton of stuff #i am not 12 and i do not have a crush #i am 26 and i want a date #oh this is a wild ride but tbh it's not so bad #i still have hope #personal #scott

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