#anyways you doing alright vikings fans?

[sortanonymous]

I wonder if any kids these days watching Sunday Night Football see the Walmart+ 4K SkyCam parts and think that it's not just sponsorship, but that you can actually buy a 4K SkyCam at Walmart through Walmart+ just like the one they use on NBC. Cue inevitable disappointment when they can't find them at the local Walmart, lack of subscription be darned.

[mashithamel]

Episode 3 spoilery thoughts below (lots of spoilers for the books).

I really love how, even though the show is so changed from the book in many ways, it also feels so true to the books.

- I am really looking forward to the soundtrack release. Amazon will take all my money.

- I didn’t mind “be steadfast” not being included? I noted it, but didn’t really care?

- Nynaeve’s parents!

- Crinsomthorn again, huh. Gonna be a repeated motif this year?

- This has shades of Aginor and is a horribe touch (affectionate)

- Elnore is awesome! As I would expect!

- How on earth would she manage to memorize that long Old Tongue passage after hearing it once?

- Elnore watching her daughter as she is brutally stabbed to death is really overkill. My sister is invested in watching now but can’t handle, like, any violence, so I have to tell her when to turn away. I’m going to have to mute this bit—even I have a hard time with it, and I’ve enjoyed GoT and a couple seasons of Vikings.

- I kind of like how shocking the water dumped over her head is everytime they use it. It seems as much a violantion as the arches themselves. And “washed clean” just seems like wishful thinking.

- Tam!

- Nice to see Natti sober. She’s speaking all of Nynaeve’s worst fears right now.

- I forgot Nynaeve had seen Healing and that it’s been established she can copy any weave after seeing it once. Of course, she isn’t upset enough right now to channel, but it was also spelled out she wouldn’t be able to channel anyway in the arches. I am so ready to see Nynaeve the Healer.

- “How is Rand?” Knife straight to the heart. Invited to stay with Tam until he dies. “I can’t tell you how good it is to see your face.” Wisdom Nynaeve was pretty cool too.

- The fact that she sees the arches as a means to get her people a cure—she isn’t choosing the Tower over them, just what they can do. But Tam calling after her to not leave is even more poignant than Marin in the books, imo.

- Zoe going into the third arch 😭

- This is very a very trippy scene. Rosamund says they are filming something really psychadelic for S3. That’s gotta be Snakes and Foxes, right?

- The lines from Lan here are my absolute favorite from that passage. The “I will hate the man you choose…” is fine. But telling someone she’s as beautiful as a sunrise, as fierce as a warrior? I am fully swooning.

- Red is just not Nynaeve’s color, I think. (Zoe can rock anything, but Nynaeve is not going to wear much red ever)

- Just how empty “you are washed clean of your sins” sounds. “It’s alright, the blood isn’t yours” is not exactly what she needed to hear. It’s properly horrifying.

- A bloody hadori

- I don’t blame her for walking out at this point, and I would have been disappointed if she hadn’t.

- “You’re going to be a woman who’s actually worthy of that title.” Not a fan of book Egwene (actually, she’s my least favorite character—the fact that we share many traits in common has nothing to do with it, I’m sure!), but I look forward to seeing show Egwene come into her own.

- How hard must it be for her to return to the Two Rivers, without any of the kids, and no ability to use Healing?

- I love that Daniel likes filming Lanaeve as much as i enjoy watching this.

- I’ve watched this scene obsessively through gifs as soon as they were available

- “I could come with you.” Taken right from TSR, with the response we’d all like to see in an AU

- They way he holds her, and she just relaxes into him, and he rests his cheek on her head. Swooning some more.

- The pitchers are white, black, and swirl

- See, Darkfriends aren’t entirely evil. They feel bad about things too.

- Aww, Liandrin is legitimately upset. I think she sees a lot of herself in Nynaeve and wanted a mentee.

- They named the girl who gets dragged away by the Seanchan. So we’ll see her in the future?

- The Southern accent is amazingly good. Also some of the soliders have baseball bats as weapons. Will they do anything else to drive home the colonizing invaders are American?

- I wonder who this Seanchan guard is who selects Uno? Egeanin, maybe? I mean, they didn’t have to show her face. Maybe she is a named character?

- UNO!!!!!!!!!!

- The side shot of Uno impaled is deeply disturbing. They split the skin from his lips almost to his ear, and both his mandible and maxilla are fractures. It’s accurate, but holy cow that’s intense.

- I didn’t remember Logain had the Talent to see ta’veren, so it doesn’t bother me at all that he can tell men can channel. Quite frankly, it’s a good excuse for him to be out of the Black Tower later, recruiting.

- Again, I like Rand seeking out help wherever he can find it (Errol with the sword, Logain with the OP). I mean, what else is he going to do?

- Gleeman in a cloak! Branding! Hunt for the Horn!

- Lanfear is remakably up to date on the local lore for someone who was asleep for the last 3000 years. Does Ishy have a crash seminar for them on waking?

- “Your grief is your own.” Too bad the only psychiatrist in the series is evil.

- “Someone I respected.” Liandrin does feel guilty.

- I look forward to Mat rising up and proving Liandrin wrong about every word.

- “It’s not always the most powerful women who write history, it’s the ones who survive.” Ooo, chills. This show is actually going to make me care about Egwene isn’t it?

- The Cairheinin party! I love they included this, and the invitations, and him burning it! And, of course, the red coat.

- This hunt for the horn lie is a great way to showcasse just how horrible upper Cairheinin society is. “One less poor mouth for the rich to feed.” I remember the Tairan Lords are terrible toward poor people, but geez, these guys too!

- Naturally, Selene finds this plot amusing. At what point do you think he’ll catch on that she’s evil?

- Asmodean is going to teach Rand, that’s my prediction. But that doesn’t mean Rand has nothing to learn from Logain. He’s willing to learn from anyone who can teach him, no matter how unconventional.

- Ishy kept trying to get the boys to drink in TAR, right? Is this referrencing that?

- Ishamael making Perrin afraid of the wolf side is genius. A much better reason to be reluctant than in the books. “The more wolf you are the more you’re mine.” Chills.

- Hopper!

- I don’t have a problem with Min being made to work for Liandrin. She’s clearly reluctant. She also has no reason to care about Mat, really, and at least show Min comes across as someone who does what she needs to do to survive. I assume the EF5/Rand will eventually show her something worth staying and fighting for.

- Oh, she is crazy crazy.

- I like how they show the taint on the male weaves.

- And the inn gets set on fire too. They did read the books! Guess that’s the end of the red coat, huh?

- I am in love with Elayne. Seriously, how did that happen??

- I note Nynaeve is wearing mostly blue and green. Lan’s favorite colors on women.

- Fancy Mat and happy Perrin!

- Also nice that it seems Lan may do most of the cooking? Wise choice.

- That hair is…um…a look.

- Mat’s left eye!

- I love that Nynaeve saves herself.

- What more can be said about that ending? Definitely more devastating than in the books. Zoe is amazing. All excellent changes to make sense with the show story/character and move her along, give her the “why” she needs to be at the Tower. Amazing and such great storytelling.

[catneedssleep]

Cat / Tigers new intro post!??! >:3

☆★☆★☆★

“Down on your knees you just don't look so tall !!!! ”

^ Viking Death March — Billy Talent

more under cut!! 🌾🌾

∘₊✧⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊-•₊🧪₊•-⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊✧₊∘

Names?

Cat/Tiger (No preference!)

Pronouns?

Any/Fluctuating!!

Gender + Sexuality?

Genderfluid/MusicFlux, Xenogender + Omnisexual, Demiaroace, T4T

Uhhh other stuff??

AuDHD ( Autism + ADHD) , Dyslexia, GAD/SAD (Generalized + Social Anxiety disorder) BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), Depression, Hypersexual

Ik. It's a lot lol

∘₊✧⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊-•₊🧪₊•-⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊✧₊∘

I'm a Furry, Otherkin andddd therian!!

List things:3

theriotypes!!

- House Cat (Flame Point Siamese or White Cat

Otherkin types??? Idk how to name this :'3

- Tiger (Siberian Tiger or Bengal Tiger !!! I can't exactly tell but it's definitely either one of those:3

- (New!) Dog (Samoyed

- Eye? Eyekin? Just. Eye.

- Devil

- Angel

- Zombie

- Vampire

A lot more!!!!

Personally, my furry sort of.. Suit? Type? I'm a cat furry lol.

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More!

Do I have a special interest?

Yes! I have multiple:3

Spooky Month / Candy Dealer + Regretevator / Wallter

I also have a lot of hyperfixations and I'm in a lot of fandoms! :D

alright now.... DNI

sigh

- Hazbin Hotel / Helluva Boss fans (I'm extremely uncomfortable with the shows and the creator:I the only exceptions are Bee & Spade)

- Proshippers ect, I do not support you guys in any way. I am very anti against illegal ships!!!!!!! ^_^ (edit; WHEN DID SHIPS SAY SHOPS??? LMAO... anyway that's fixed

- Endo / Mixed origins / Not Tragumentic (I SPELLED THAT SO WRONG I'M SORRY) “systems”. I will not support you all until there is heavy amount of scientific evidence that you can exist. Go eat a frog>_<

- anti fur, anti otherkin, anti therian, anti LGBTQ+ ect ect, GO AWAY!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!!!!!!!!

- Ablists. Yah.

- all the stuff in my old dni 🌀🌀

- other basic dni 💥

Interact with literally anything else!!!:3

Unless uh

You suck!

teehee

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Self promo section lmao

Discord server!!!!!!

:3🧪🧪🧪🧪

∘₊✧⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊-•₊🧪₊•-⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊✧₊∘

Things you might see from me :

Mad Scientist type of vibe‼️

Wallter & Candy Dealer loving

HEAVY REBLOGGING

random arts/doodles

Speaking of art and doodles I'm taking emoji requests now! I want to improve my art style, and I want to have experience. Honestly I don't care what you ask but I may ignore it if I don't like it / cant do it. (Nsfw, headmates, ocs yada yada)

∘₊✧⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊-•₊🧪₊•-⚊-⚊-⚊-⚊✧₊∘

Tags you will see from me!!!! (Eventually.)

- #catneedssleep

My general tag! I use this whenever I post anything such as art, emojis, random rambles ect

- #science experiment

Art tag!!

- #failed experiment

Silly tag :3 just for shit posts or something of the sorts

- #test tube

Ramble Tag :3

That's all the tags!!!! Yay!!!!

₊⊹

Buh bai!!!

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[oddsnendsfanfics]

Unraveling in the Sheets

Genre: Fan Fiction

Pairing: Henry Cavill/OFC

Warnings: Language, Sexual Content, NSFW

Rating: M

Length: Short Story

Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.

A/N: Spoiler Alert, there is smut. Be warned. It's there.

Also, I am no longer doing tags on posts. Since my list exceeds the tag limit. Please feel free to join the chat in place of the tag list.

Henry Cavill Master List

“How did you do it though?” Gliding the car into a free parking space, Henry glanced at Nell in the passenger's seat.

“How did I do what?” Eyeing him curiously, she tried to hide her gloating smile. She could be a terrible winner, even if she wasn't the winner, she had came ahead of Henry.

“You know what I mean, Nelly.”

He looked so silly, his new mustache curling when he laughed or smiled. Nell had to admit, if any man could wear the 'stache Henry did it well.

“Oh, you mean how did I suddenly leave your ass behind and finish nearly 50 positions ahead?” She laughed, crinkling her nose. “I told you, I've been working hard for this. Besides, you're too big. You move slower than I do. It's that simple. Maybe next year, you will finish ahead of me.”

“You're impossible.” Unbuckling his seat belt, Henry hurried to get out of the car and around to the other side, before Nell could open her own door. Nearly there, he frowned when she opened the door, stepping out of the Aston Martin. “You were supposed to let me open that.”

“I am supposed to do a lot of things that I do not.” Nell grabbed her hand bag. “I'll let you open the door, next time. You big dork.”

Henry was always the gentleman, even when Nell would rather rip his eyes out than speak to him in a civil manner. Not that she ever felt the former much, but on the rare occasion. Sometimes that's how things went for ex-lovers. The mid May air was growing cool, leaving a few goosebumps on Nell's exposed arms. She had expected to be back before now, which is why she'd left her sweater in the hotel.

“Well, happy late birthday. It was nice having dinner with your family. I've missed them.”

“They've missed you, too. I could tell that dad was happy you came along. He hasn't talked that much during a dinner since the last time you came over.” Henry smiled fondly. "I'm glad that you came, Nelly." Hands in his pockets, Henry sauntered along beside Nell. Approaching the main entrance, he held the door allowing her to enter. 

When he'd invited her for the weekend, he wasn't confident that she would come. Wrapped up in work, Nell didn't take too much time away from Dublin these days.

"It was a nice break from work." Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Nell bit her bottom lip. "I know that you are busy, but do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"I always have time to talk with you." Scanning the hotel lobby, Henry tried to find a spot for them to sit and chat privately. "Should we have a seat at the bar?"

"We could, but I would really like to change. Do you mind coming up with me? We can just talk in the room. It's probably more comfortable anyway."

"Is this about the wild boy?"

"Isn't it always?" 

Laughing, Henry pushed the call button for the elevator. Their son was truly something else. One day he would surely take over the world; Henry could see that coming from the day he was born.  To say Ivan was Henry's pride and joy would be a massive understatement. He lived for their son. This weekend having Ivan, and Nell, in Jersey had been fantastic. A short glimpse of what life could have been. The ding of the elevator brought Henry back from his brief fantasy.

He and Nell had split up several years ago, there wasn't much chance she would feel the same as he did. Lost in the thoughts of happy little family. Allowing Nell to step onto the elevator first, Henry stood silently with his hands clasped in front of him.

“So, Ivan has been doing well in school?” He may as well get this under way.

“Define doing well,” Nell snickered. “I get a call nearly every day from his teacher. The woman is impossible, but knowing our son, he isn't making it easy for her.”

“I was like that in school. Right up until the day I left.” Henry shrugged. The elevator gently bumping to a stop, he stepped forward to hold the door for Nell.

Muttering a thank you, Nell dug for her key card, leading the way down the hall. She loved this hotel, it was the only one she stayed in, if she could help it, while visiting the Island. A great view of the water on one side, the other dazzling with a fantastic look out into the city. The first time she'd ever been to Jersey, she had stayed in the hotel and fell in love with the charm. There were days when that felt like a life time ago.

Opening the door, Nell paused to allow Henry in. “Have a seat. Anywhere you'd like. Sorry it's kind of a mess. I'm going to change.”

The hotel room was anything but a mess, minus the few sketch books that Nell had dropped on the bed. Always working. Henry took a seat on the edge of the king sized bed, casually glancing at the colour coded notes and designs that Nell had in one of the open sketch books. Costumes. A few notes detailed leather armor and Viking era clothing. She'd done well for herself, since he'd met her. The same shy costume apprentice hiding out on set of The Tudors, was now helping drive forward the details of Vikings.

In the bathroom, Nell pulled off her dress. The fabric had became clingy after a while and she needed to be more relaxed. Running shorts and a tshirt would do the trick. Sighing at her reflection, she bit her bottom lip glancing down at her top. The worn coral Nike tshirt was her favourite, it was showing the love and wear in a few spots. Perhaps she should have picked something less frumpy? She was a busy, single mom she didn't have to look the part. Ah fuck, who cared. Henry certainly wouldn't.

He was here to discuss their son, not flirt with her until she gave in to that smile. Or got lost in his eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes – the left with the flecks of brown. His charm alone was enough to make anyone weak in the knees. Damn it, she needed to get over it. He had moved on. She needed to do the same.

Blowing out a breath, Nell reached for the door, pausing when she heard Henry talking. His tone told her that he was speaking to Ivan. Quietly slipping out of the bathroom, she smiled.

“Hold on, just a sec.” He pushed the screen of his phone, allowing the speaker to connect. “Alright, wild boy. Say goodnight to your mum.”

“Mum, momma, mum.” Ivan's voice filled the room. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ivan. Are you being a good boy?”

“Uh huh. I love you. Good night.”

“Good night, wild boy. I love you.”

“Night dad.”

“Good night, I love you. I'm going to be back soon, you go to bed and I will see you first thing in the morning.”

“Okay. Oh, dad, can Kal sleep in my room tonight?” Ivan was fond of the large black and white American Akita. Henry laughed.

“Of course he can. You and Kal go to bed, now.”

“Okay, bye.” A little too quickly, Ivan hung up the phone. Henry laughed at the eagerness, he would talk to his mother when he got back to the house. Making sure that Ivan and his dog had gone to bed as they were told, with no fuss.

"Can you believe he is growing this fast? My god where has that time gone?" Henry rubbed his hands against his face. His mustache and subtle stubble scratching his palms. 

"Time is a cruel mistress." Rubbing her hands on her shorts, Nell stood. "Drink? I have a bottle of Johnnie Walker." 

"Of course you do." Smirking, Henry shifted on the side of the bed. “I had a look at some of these designs, by the way. They're magnificent. My god, Nell, you are so talented.”

“You're saying that to be nice,”

Shaking his head, Henry accepted the glass, resting it on his knee. “No, I am saying it because its true. You are one of the most talented costumers that I had ever met. Are you enjoying the job?”

“I love it.” Nell smiled, leaning against the large wooden desk in the corner. “The work is great, the people are amazing, and Ivan is really enjoying it. I'm glad we went.”

“Good, that's good. He talks about it, a lot. He really seems to love being there. I'm glad. Once things settle, I am going to try and come visit. I kind of miss it, Dublin.”

“You should.” She smiled fighting the urge to scoff and roll her eyes. Henry was always busy. He'd make it to Dublin, when Hell froze over. “So, how is work coming on this new character.”

“I can't say much, but I can say that I will be happy when I can shave.” He rubbed the mustache expertly. “It's not as bad as some of the beards that I've had to grow, but it's not my favourite look.”

“You look good with a beard. I know you hate them, but you do.”

Leaning forward to set his glass on the bedside table, Henry licked the whiskey off of his lips. “I'm glad to have that compliment.”

“Sure.” Nell nodded, tipping her glass to finish the drink. “Another?”

“Uh, I'm good.” Henry motioned to his glass. Rubbing his hands across his jeans, he furrowed his brow. “I've been thinking, since I am fairly busy the next few months, what if I keep Ivan for a few extra days? Once you leave, I will take him back to London with me, until I have to go.”

Shifting on the bed, her face warm from the second glass of whiskey, Nell sniffled and cleared her throat. “What about school?”

“What about it? He isn't going to miss much, is he? They're nearly finished up and I don't know how long it will be, until I see him. Possibly not until Christmas.”

All he wanted was to spend a little time with his son, was that so hard? His next move would have to be calculated, Nell had been known to stat arguments over less. If Henry wanted to avoid a shouting match, he would have to go about this carefully. Reaching for his glass, he downed the remaining contents in one large gulp. Sighing.

“I want to hang out with him a little. It wouldn't be more than three days extra. Then you get some time alone, as well. Nell, I know that you need a bit of a break. You work so hard and take care of Ivan, please.”

“If you want to, then I suppose I can't really say no. What kind of mother would I be, if I didn't let you see him?”

“Don't say things like that, please.” Henry reached out, his hand taking hers. Gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “You are a wonderful mum. You know that.”

“Sometimes, I feel like I could do better. I really do.” Nell shrugged, allowing Henry to continue holding her hand.

“All parents feel that way, I am sure. I know that I feel like that, all the time. I guess it's natural, always wanting to do better, to be better, for our children.”

There he went again. There were times when Nell could not stand to be near him, other times she wanted to be as close as possible. Damn it. Watching him talk about Ivan and the few extras days they would be together, Henry's eyes lit up. His smile broad and the enthusiasm in his voice was one that dictated proud father. Nell nodded, only because she felt it was appropriate to the conversation.

Henry continued to chatter about how he wanted to take Ivan to a new exhibit at the Natural History Museum, in London. Leave it to the father and son, finding a day at the museum to be high on the list of fun. Nell sighed, continuing to half listen, half gaze at Henry in awe. One thing she loved – well love could be a strong word – adored? Enjoyed? About Henry was how much he loved Ivan.

Mid sentence about some Sir David Attenborough documentary that he'd watched with Ivan; Nell couldn't help it any longer. Leaning in, without warning, she grabbed Henry's face turning it to her and kissing him. Lips connecting, she stopped and jumped back as if hit by an electric shock.

Clearing his throat, Henry rubbed the back of his neck, but not pulling back. “I didn't know that the National Geographic was that exciting.”

“I'm sorry.” Hiding her face in her hands, Nell shook her head. Oh that had been a mistake. She had absolutely no right. None. Henry was crazy, if he didn't get up right now and walk out. If he was angry, then she deserved that.

Blushing, Nell shook her head. “Henry, I shouldn't have.”

“I'm certainly not going to complain.” He shrugged, leaning in his arm sliding around her shoulder. Nell glanced up, getting the nerves to look at him. Oh she had fucked up. “Next time, I would like some warning though.”

“Warning? Next time?”

“Hmm, yes. Kind of like this, close your eyes.” Henry instructed pulling her closer and kissing her. Nell sighed her body melting against him. She loved the way his lips felt on hers. Soft, with a slight force.

Straddling his waist, her arms wrapped around his neck, Nell's fingers laced together. Her lips leaving his, tracing along his jaw, nearing the sweet spot below his ear. A slight nip and he was an unraveling mess. Henry nuzzled his face into her hair, she smelled amazing. Comforting and warm. A groan erupted from deep in his throat, as predicted she had gone straight for that spot.

“Nell, Nell,” Henry cleared his throat, holding her at arm's length, “Janelle, stop.” Looking for any sort of sign that she truly felt that this wasn't a good idea, he sucked in a breath. “Are you sure about this? Because if we continue, I won't stop until...”

“I am.” She nodded firmly, “I don't want you to stop. I don't want to stop. Oh god, Henry. Please.”

“I need to know that you truly, absolutely want to do this.”

“If you don't stop talking and bend me over, I am going to kick you out and do this myself. Please, stop talking. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't have started it.”

A deep rumbling laugh followed, Henry rolled his eyes. God, she was something else. Who was he to deny a gorgeous woman what she wanted? Would this come back to haunt him? Probably. Did he care? Not much. Come morning they would once again go their separate ways, but that didn't matter right now. Right now, he could pretend that he had everything he wanted. And what he wanted was her.

Pulling her to him, Henry kissed her hard. Nell moaned, the force of the kiss was nearly dizzying. Arms around his neck, she rubbed her body against his, trying to grasp the friction that was created when she started to grind herself against his thighs.

“Henry,”

“Hold on, you need patience.” He brushed a bit of hair out of her face, “all in good time.”

Nell squealed when he stood, her legs desperately scrambling to hold onto him. In a futile attempt she huffed, when he let her go, standing in front of him pouting. Unbuttoning his shirt, Henry smirked giving her a heated stare. “Well, are you going to get on the bed or make me do all the work? Shorts off.”

Sliding the mesh shorts down her ass and along her legs, Nell made a bit of a show letting them pool at her feet. Stepping out, as slowly as possible, while lifting the old tshirt from her body. Allowing it to go where it would, as she dropped it. Sitting back on the bed, she could feel her heart in her throat and her stomach where her heart should be.

“Lie back.” Henry instructed, kneeling at the edge of the bed. Arms around her thighs, guiding her to him, he studied her for a moment. She was trembling as his fingers slid across her thighs, positioning her in just the right way.

“Oh god, Hen-Henry.” Nell's mouth was suddenly dry and her voice hoarse. His hot breath between her legs was tormenting her, in unimaginable ways. In anticipation she bucked her hips forward, trying to clench her thighs. Holding her knees with his shoulders, Henry chuckled.

“Eager.”

“Please.”

“You are...” He lingered, kissing the inside of her leg. “Gorgeous. Look at you.” He brushed his thumb against her. Nell whimpered trying to push further. “Hold on, hold on.”

“Why are you teasing me?”

“Because I want to enjoy the view, for a moment.” He shrugged, her legs lifting gently. A hand on her lower abdomen, as if holding her in place, he used the other to gently tease and trace along her calf. Without warning, his lips attached to the most sensitive part of her body with his mustache adding an extra sensation, Nell bucked her hips hard, shoving his face further between her thighs.

Nell's head was swimming, it had been a while since she'd felt this good from such an act. Sure, she'd had the odd date here and there, semi-serious relationships, but nobody could do this the way Henry could. He was a fucking magician, she was certain of it. Humming against her mound, Henry couldn't hide the laughter in his eyes, when she began to squirm and wiggle against his face. She was desperate and he was going to prolong this as much as he could.

Sucking her clit, his tongue generously lapping at her, he thoroughly enjoyed the show. Pushing his head as far down as she could, Nell was nearly in tears each time he leaned in, his mustache tickling in just the right way. Oh god, she gasped trying hard to find release. Henry was cunning, backing off at the right moments.

“Henry,” She whined, threading her fingers through his hair. “Don't tease me, I really need you to finish.”

“Stop being so impatient.” He was teasingly stern. Pushing her hands away, he locked his fingers with hers, holding them at her side. Lifting his head, he smirked, kissing up her body ending with another dizzying kiss. Nell sucked on his tongue, freeing her hands from his, she tugged him closer, pulling at fistfuls of hair.

Cleaning herself from his tongue and lips, she sighed. “I'm going to need more than that.”

“You're sure?” Henry paused, holding his weight on his forearms, resting above her. His jeans still on, he could feel the strain against the denim.

“Jeans, off.” She demanded, sitting up to watch. Shivering against the slight chill, her breasts on display giving him the perfect view of her erect nipples. Nell blushed under his gaze. She was not the tight, toned, and perky body she once was. She wasn't out of shape, by any means, but compared to Henry...

“You are gorgeous.” Henry complimented, his jeans on the floor, boxers being pushed down to join them. Stepping out of his pants, he stood at the side of the bed, in all his glory.

Nell licked her lips, reaching out to take him in her hand. Hissing under her touch, Henry involuntarily bucked his hips forward into her hand. Rubbing the head, Nell intently watched Henry while she leaned in taking him fully in her mouth.

“Fuck, Nelly.”

“Hmm,” She hummed, sliding her head back along his length. Hand wrapped around him, stroking in place of her mouth. Bobbing her head back down, she swirled her tongue around the base. He nearly choked her the first time she'd ever gone down on him. Oh how long ago that felt.

Dragging her tongue against his length, she felt her core tighten, with each moan Henry gave. His slight salty taste mixed with the aftertaste of the Johnnie Walker, Nell inhaled deeply through her nose, hollowing her cheeks around him. Gripping the back of her head, Henry tried to not force her too hard, as he began to guide her movement.

Happy to go along with what he needed to feel good, Nell allowed him control over her guidance. Her finger nails grazing the back of his thighs, she mentally checked the small victory when he threw his hips forward at the sensation of her wrapped around him and her nails on his skin.

“Good girl,” Henry mumbled, his head lulling back, his chest rising rapidly. “Keep it up, just like that. Oh shit,”

Nell's chest swelled a little, she could still make him feel good, even after all of this time apart. That was not something she would take lightly, even if this shouldn't be happening. Oh fuck, who cared? They were two consenting adults. Henry's legs quivered, his hands unsteady stroking the back of her head.

“Nell,”

“Hmm?” She glanced up at him. His face soft and his jaw slack, she could feel him tightening. The perfect time to stop her actions. “Not yet,” She smirked, wiping her hand across her chin, drool gone. “Fair is fair.”

“Jesus,” Henry grumbled. He had been so fucking close, the knot in the pit of his stomach clenched Slowing his breathing, he took a moment to think of anything else. Laundry? Running? How much longer until he had to renew his passport?

“Henry?”

“Yeah?” He snapped his head to look at Nell.

“Are we going to stand here all night, or...” She shrugged, a devious smirk on her face. Laying back on the bed, she curled her finger beckoning him to her.

“You're still sure about this?” Henry asked. His eyes on her, waiting to see if she had any hint of doubt or hesitation.

“I don't have a condom, but I'm clean. It's not like I'm getting pregnant, so....” If she were to get pregnant, there was going to be on hell of a hefty lawsuit against that surgeon.

“You're sure? I know that I'm...but I don't have.”

“if you don't want to, then I understand.”

“I do, though, but...”

Nell shook her head. “No buts. If you want me, then I'm yours.”

“Fuck, you're making this hard.”

Giggling, Nell glance down. “I think we're beyond things being hard.”

His body betraying him, Henry cleared his throat, she certainly had a point. Fuck it. What did they have to lose? Unless this, some how, came back to bite them. No, no he had to stop that. Give in, enjoy what was happening. It had been too long since he'd been able to watch her in such bliss. Bliss that he was responsible for.

“You're sure?”

Nell nodded siting up, opening her arms, “Come here.”

On the edge of the bed, Henry sighed, his large frame leaning into her. Nell held him for a moment, stroking his hair, the feel of his warmth against her sent shivers through her spine. Pushing him back on the bed, she bit her bottom lip, waiting for the go ahead. Henry gave her a slight nod, adjusting himself on the bed to get comfortable. Straddling his hips, Nell lifted herself to slowly take him.

Sheathing him inch by inch, Nell groaned at the fullness. This was her favourite part, taking him to the end, feeling him stretch her. Rocking her hips forward, she countered the motion sliding them back in the same tantalizing pace. Henry held her hips, pushing his up to meet her. Nell squeaked and giggled. She loved the way he hit all the right spots.

“You can touch me, don't be shy.” Nell winked, lifting her arms and crossing them above her head, allowing him a full view of her breasts. “Go on.” She encouraged.

His large hands cupping her breasts, Henry softly rolled her hardening nipples between his fingers, giving on a slight flick when she moved herself up on his length. Close to letting him slide out, she moved back down, her ass grinding against him.

The way her body moved against his was mesmerizing. Massaging her supple skin, from her breasts down her sides, one hand settling on her ass and the other on her hip. Henry loved the shape, even if she had changed a little since having Ivan. God she was stunning.

Hastening her pace, Nell rocked back and forth, up and down. Henry closed his eyes feeling every bit of movement, each clench. Taking in the sounds of her breathing, mixed with his, her small moans not going unnoticed.

“Henry,” She whispered, biting her bottom lip, leaning forward to touch her lips against his. “Please,”

Without having to be asked twice, he moved swiftly, turning them over to pin her beneath him. Nell sighed and stretched her arms over her head, the pull of her muscles caused another shiver. Her head now against the pillow, she reached, tracing the lines of his face with her fingertip.

“I don't know that I can be as slow as you were.” Henry nipped her finger. Holding back on his desire to pound her into the bed.

“Then don't.” Nell batted her eye lashes at him.

Somehow that was all he needed, that tiny bit of permission. Picking up the pace, Henry grunted. Nell moaned drawing her knees upward, allowing him an even better vantage to this position. As if the pent up emotions from the last few years, hours, minutes had been released the couple were lost in the sensation of skin on skin. The feeling of sparks and electricity coursing through them. Connecting them.

“Fuck, Janelle.” Henry hissed, his arm locked into position on either side of her head, keeping him from tumbling on top of her.

“Henry,” She squealed splaying her hands against his chest, tugging at the soft hairs. “Oh god. Please, don't stop. My god, oh fuck.”

“You are fucking amazing. Fuck, look at you.” Kissing her roughly, he sighed, steadying his pace. His hips slapping hers, Nell shook slightly her soft sobs of pleasure were enough to send him to an end.

Shaking with pleasure, Nell gasped trying to bring herself down from the high. Henry moaned, his head back and chest heaving. It had been a while since he had felt that good. Nell laid with her legs hooked around his thighs, no desire to move. Collapsing with his head on her chest, Henry allowed his body to rest. Sweaty and sticky, they laid tangled together. Neither one wanting to break the feeling.

Dosing in and out, Nell was the first to move. Her body growing heavy with Henry still on top of her. She needed to move, before seizing up. Pushing his head to the side, she giggled and kissed the tip of her nose when he lazily looked up.

“I need to pee,”

“Hmph.” Henry nodded, slowly rolling over. Allowing her to escape. Laying flat on the bed, while she scurried off to the bathroom, Henry pushed himself up off of the bed. He should be getting back to his parents, back to Ivan.

All thoughts of moving were squashed, when Nell came back, climbing in beside him. Her clothes still on the floor. Her body was comforting against his. “Hi,” she whispered, sliding in under his arm.

“Nell?” Henry laid with his arm around her shoulder.

“Huh?” Nell grunted, her face buried in his chest.

“I should head back.”

“If you want to. You can stay, I don't mind.” Nell yawned. Her eyes closing.

“Okay, but only for a little while.” Henry agreed, closing his eyes. In a few minutes, he would get up, shower, and head back.

With a start, Henry woke, a loud banging noise rattling him. Looking around the dark room, he squinted to find the source of the noise. Hearing someone whispering at a distance, Henry laid in bed, listening. Against him, Nell stirred, but didn't wake. Someone in the hall was talking, no doubt they had been the source of the banging. He had fell asleep, Nell wrapped against him.

Looking at his watch, Henry frowned. 4am. If he left right now, he could be back before anybody woke. If he left now, he risked Kal barking and waking the house. If he waited, he would risk walking in and having to explain himself to one or more person. Of course he could tell them that he'd ran into some old friends, had some drinks and stayed on a sofa somewhere. Too drunk to drive.

Shifting in bed, Nell sighed, her arm around his waist she snuggled in closer. She was content, who was Henry to try and disturb her sleep? He would wait an hour or two, before he made his departure. So what if he waltzed in, being faced by one of his brothers, or even his mother. He was an adult, if he wanted to stay out all night enjoying the company of a fantastic woman, then he would do just that.

Kissing the top of Nell's head, Henry smiled, sinking down further into the covers, closing his eyes.

Tag List Chat

[groovyzombiellama]

The Golden/Stylish Trio

Title: The Golden/Stylish Trio

Requested? Yes.

Plot: You are an actress and shoot a project with Alex and Bill and the two of them have a crush on you.

Word count: 1617

—***—

Ever since you were a child, you knew that you wanted to be an actress, and it didn’t matter how many people told you that you shouldn’t dream so high and that you were gonna fail, that just made you want to work more just to prove them wrong. You were constantly told that you wouldn’t have enough work, and that being an actress is stressful and difficult. Of course you knew that, in their own way every job is difficult, but you didn’t mind it because you knew that you would have difficult moments, but you were ready for whatever that world had to throw at you, because at least  that way, you would be doing something you love. You had the support of your immediate family, like your parents in the first place, and so you decided to take a chance and start your path towards making your dreams come true.

At first you had it quite difficult, not really being what the casting agent was looking for, both in terms of character and in your lack of experience. You had sleepless nights thinking about how you were supposed to gather experience when nobody wanted to give you a chance to gain any of it. And you expected this, so it wasn’t a surprise to you, and it just motivated you to do better and go to some classes and stuff, but that doesn’t mean getting rejected so many times didn’t hurt you. There were times where you would feel like the people who told you that you wouldn’t be able to make it were right and that you should just give up and go back home. Your family was alright with you coming back and going to college for something else, but just like your friends, they believed that you could do it and that every beginning is hard, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t succeed. And indeed, with patience, it started happening, you started getting cast.

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to get a lead role right off the bat, but you were getting work as eather a background character, or a very minor character that maybe had one or two lines. And even though it was something small and didn’t mean a lot of camera time, you were still extatic and extremly grateful and happy to even be getting any work at all. Your portfolio was growing, your list of work experience was becoming longer and longer, and a lot of casting agents saw your passion and dedication to acting, to the point where you even got cast as a supporting character in a movie, the so called “best friend trope”, and your lines consisted of pep talks and you were honestly just there to lift up the lead character. But it was the longest time you had spent in front of the camera so far and the most speaking lines you had gotten, so to say you were grateful and excited would be understatements.

You had no idea where all of this was gonna take you, but you were so proud of yourself for not giving up on your dreams. You even sent tickets for that movie to your cousins who didn’t believe you could make it and some of the people who bullied you and said you would never amount to nothing. It wasn’t to spite them, not too much anyway, because you never were a person to hold a grudge or feel good if others are feeling down. You just wanted to tell them that hard work will always pay off and that hard work can beat talent if talent doesn’t work hard. You were getting recognized and it was blowing your mind to be walking down the street and hear people talking about you as you pass them, guessing if you were the girl they had seen in that movie. And it made you smile every time. Eventually you ended up getting an e-mail that changed your life in a drastic way. A huge gig, bigger than any you have had before, with actors that you admired.

You had known Bill Skarsgård from his role as Roman Godfrey in Hemlock Groove, and as the iconic clown, Pennywise, in the most recent IT movies. And when your agent told you that he was gonna be one of your costars, you had to sit down, as your legs felt like they were gonna give out. He always seemed like a truly pleasant person to be around and an actor who really cares about the craft. And his good looks were just a bonus to a very amazing person. And that was the case for your other costar who once again gave you that feeling that you were gonna collapse if you keep standing. The Ivar the Boneless from Vikings, Victor from Outsiders, Alex Høgh Andersen. Alex always had the appeal as a literal ray of sunshine to you and it made your head feel dizzy to be working with them at all, and even when you met them, you couldn’t believe it was true.

Both Bill and Alex found you adorable as you tried not to fangirl around them, and be your cool self, or at least what you thought was cool. Bill had known about you as he had watched one of the movies you were in and he admired the way you put everything you had into your character, so he already knew some things about you, but even with that, you had managed to amaze him beyong belief. To Alex. meeting you was completely new territory, but he was enjoying every second of it, seeing the way every part of you contained the character you were supposed to potray. Even your eyes would show the emotion your character was supposed to be feeling that both men were dangerously close to apologising to you the moment they looked into your eyes as you were filming a scene where you were supposed to have a disagreement or fight.

Both Alex and Bill felt like they were learning a lot from you, as much as you were learning from them. And your vibrant personality, combined with that smile of yours were enough for them to develp crushes on you. It amazed them that neither one of them was able to say anything to you, that when it came to you, they would feel nervous or get tongue tied. When the two of them were talking and you came up, the shock on both of their faces, wide eyed expressions were almost comical as they realised the second they started talking about you that they had crushes on you. They didn’t want to make this a rivalry between them and try to win you over from one or the other. They were gonna leave the choice to you if you ever developped feelings for one of them and the other was gonna support you both. But that didn’t stop them from admiring you constantly and gushing about you in interviews and to each other.

As more time passed, the more the three of you started getting closer, so much so that they put up with the silly nicknames that you gave them and even though Billy and Lexie weren’t their favorite, and they honestly prefered some of your more creative nicknames, or standard “love” or “hun” that you loved calling people who were important to you, they cared about you enough to accept you just the way you were, which meant the world to you. Bill’s brother Gustaf was really glad that his costar from Vikings was friends with his brother, because the cast of the show had become like his second family in a way, and now you were a very dear friend to all of them.

Every interview that you did with these boys was a blast, you would always have fun and if they even sensed that you were feeling uncomfortable with a question or something, the both of them would create a diversion, as you woke up in them the feeling to be protective over you, but not too much that you feel suffocated, but just enough for people to know that you were not someone to mess with, both because of you being a strong and independent woman, and also because you had the two of them who had your back as much you had theirs. You three were truly a great trio, and your friendship was one that you were sure was for the books and that it was gonna last.

Regardless of the fact that their crushes were growing by the day and often times they had to stop themselves from spending entire interviews talking about you, they never forced you into anything, or tried to convince you that one of them was better for you than the other. And their biggest pet peeve was when you didn’t believe in yourself and always claimed that “people were just too kind to you” whenever someone complimented you, because they just wanted you to know that to them you were absolutely amazing and to so many people who were fans of you. But they appreciated that you were kinda using that to keep your humble nature, worried that if you started giving yourself that much credit, you would become vain and too self absorbed. They were thankful that they met you and hoped your friendship lasted a long time, even if nothing more developped from it. You were the Golden Trio, named by the entertainement industry, or the Stylish Trio as fans started calling you after Alex’s post, and you were happy with it.

---***---

SURPRISE @walkxthexmoon !! You wanted either one of aus that I do, but you were always sweet to me and kind, that you get all of it, written, gif and social media au :D <3 I truly hope you like it :)

I appreciate all of you guys and thank you all for your follows, likes, reblogs, I’ll never be able to thank you all enough. Every time I get an e-mail telling me someone followed me, it makes my entire week better and keeps me motivated! So thank you to all of you, I love you all so much, and if people are nice to me I do my damnest to be 10x nicer, because you deserve it back, so this fic took a lot longer to make than I thought, and hopefully it’s a good one and you guys like it, and just once again, I appreaciate all of you <3

[twigg96]

Hey so i have a dethklok scenario i'm curious about. (idk if you care about football or not i only care about my team the kc chiefs) Can i get a scenario with me watching the chiefs game and getting really hype when my team does well and the boys would react.

Ooohhhh this is interesting!!!! Thank you so much for asking this @jordyndoomstar!!! I am going to add a little twist to this if it’s alright with you and give you some HCs of how the boys might react if The Chiefs were beating their favorite teams!! To all of my international mutuals out there, we will be referring to what is commonly referred to as American Football. If you guys would like some head cannons on other sporting events please let me know!!

Nathan: I believe Nathan’s favorite team would happen to be his home team. The Miami Dolphins. He has to admit their name isn’t as brutal as the Florida Gators but he liked the way the Dolphins played better. Nathan would be your average American into Football. Loud and Proud. So if The Chiefs were beating his Dolphins he’d scream and swear at the TV until he was sure the QB or Full Back could hear him.

Pickles: The Cheese Head himself. Pickles’ favorite team would 100% be The Green Bay Packers. He was born and raised on Football. Back in Wisconsin he spent every Sunday of his youth glued to the screen of either his or some random neighbor’s TV rooting for his favorite team. His family threw block parties every Super Bowl season and he never missed a single game. If the Chiefs were beating the Packers. Pickles would go ape shit. He’s not a quiet man to begin with. Bring his favorite sport and alcohol into the mix and he’s nearly uncontrollable. Pickles would throw handfuls of chips and appetizers at the TV screen all while calling both coaches so many curse words you wouldn’t be able to catch them all especially as his accent became worse with every “bad call” on the referee’s end.

William: Murderface would like sports because simply, people got to beat the shit out of each other without consequences. What’s more brutal than that? He would be unconventional in loving a team that wouldn’t be from anywhere near where he grew up. Mostly because he’d want to distance himself from those memories as much as humanly possible. Murderface would be a Pittsburgh Steelers Fan. They were the best because they won the Super Bowl the most times. 6 times in total. Even if their team suffered from time to time they always got back up. Something he admired. If the Chiefs were winning against the Steelers, Murderface would start to cuss out the Chiefs. Pointing out their inferiority all while stabbing the couch with his knife.

Skwisgaar: Skwisgaar associates American Football to Rugby, something he himself never played but liked to watch as a child on television. He finds himself switching favorite teams often as he always wants to win but, finds that he truly likes the name of the Minnesota Vikings so if anyone asks and won’t accept “Whoever is doings best” as an answer, he tells them the Vikings. If the Chiefs were beating the Vikings though, Skwisgaar would pretend not to notice at all. Ignoring any and all jabs that came his way. But, if you payed close enough attention, The playing on Skwisgaar’s guitar would be more agitated and aggressive revealing his hidden emotions.

Toki: Toki truly has no idea what’s going on with any sports ball. He’s just blindly happy to be included. If someone insisted he picked a team. He’d always reply with “which ever ams your favorite!” Toki would end up rooting for the wrong team by the end of the game anyway. He just loves spending time with his friends.

[keepyourlife]

What fics do you like/read/recommend?

Difficult question, cause recommendations I can give but only very limited.

What I like? Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, damn it I also read Smut sometimes, AUs (I mention something about that later). Basically: I want to suffer, I want to cry, but give me a happy ending. I LOVE good interpreted characters and I LOOOVE well-written relations. What I mean by that is, basically, if a sibling relationship is weirdly written, I tend to just.. not read the story at all. Does that make sense? Whatever.

While I read a lot, I rarely save what I read and more often than not I kind of.. lose half of the fics I read? There’s one I am currently obsessed with, which I found via @worstloki:

doubt truth to be a liar. absolutely amazing tbh. it’s about a younger Loki suddenly appearing in the Avengers Tower, without any memories about what happened (post Ragnarok), it’s got trans Peter & cultural differences between Asgard and Midgard I find quite interesting. Cause while I do know that comic Loki mentioned that the concept of gender and sexuality do not exist in Asgard the way they do on Midgard (I think that is what he said), I found the differences portrayed in that story very believable and also super interesting, cause I didn’t think of that? Especially interesting when you know a bit about the Viking age and its culture, which MCU Asgard clearly was set to resemble.

So, next I need to put a little disclaimer about myself: I normally do not like Reader fics, because more often than not they’re super ooc and I just find this whole.. “y/n” thing kind of offputting and it just makes me uninterested very often. However I have a friend who do likes these kind of stories. And she lets me know. And she needs someone to talk about these stories, so there’s that. And I read a handfull of them and tbh only those I actually find 1. well-written, 2. well characterised & 3. no darn use of “y/n”, cause no I never imagine myself there, I create characters in my head for each story.

A Job Million PRs Would Die For by @saiansha. Jesus fucking christ the amount of times I re-read this story. Honestly, it is, I think, the first Reader fanfic I read in my entire life, was super weary at first cause. idk. I know some people on this website (and AO3, let’s be real) that just post very weird stuff. This one has an interpretation of Loki that I can 100% believe and it is one I support. That was one of my main reasons to continue reading, but it’s also the general writing style that I like and that there’s a Reader character, who is not a helpless damsel in distress. Ultimate proof of that was the most recent chapter. (dear author knows my thoughts, I dared to dm cause I was just. very enthuasiastic about this story)

Broken Crown by @michelleleahhh​. Second one I started reading at one point cause my friend kept asking me to read it. a kind-of AU? It’s set in Asgard. That’s what you need to know. Again, a story that had me from the beginning, once I started. For the writing style and for the characterisation. The story really had me guessing sometimes, cause,, well-written! and really good dialogue!! damn you Freya!! and a decent Reader character that doesn’t have me ripping out my own intestines. (also very enthusiastic about this story, yes this phrasing as a meaning)

Foruneyti by Evaldrynn or @foruneyti (I tagged the blog for the story here, too, don’t mind me pls) Also kind of an AU, basically just Asgard. Anyway, I am so in love with the aesthetic this story gives me. It’s hard to explain, but after 85 chapters I just have this very clear picture in my head of what I think this story looks like. Now, Reader here is also good and well-written, the Original Characters are likeable and not super overpowered, neither is Reader. The canon characters are, in my humble opinion, interpreted nicely and tbh for some reason I just always imagine them in this comic style, rather than the way the films portray them.

Of Different Emotions by @wanderingworldwarrior. my. goodness. I am in love with these stories and I am just. so desperate for an update. idk if we will ever get one, but honestly, I re-read it this week and. Just stopped after the second part, cause I can’t deal with the pain of the third part one more time. First part is set pre-Thor 1, second part is set during Thor 1 and the third during The Avengers. I love the Reader character a lot and the Original Characters just. belong so much to the story. idk I just love the way this story is written, I love the characters, I just love it a lot, alright.

Onwards to anime. Bungou Stray Dogs:

where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows. this!! story!! it’s so good!! it’s a Yakuza!AU and oh my gooood. It’s all just so so well put, compared to canon and I love the dynamics Dazai and Chuuya have here.

Forgettable Significance by Witheryvine. THIS STORY. took my sanity, threw it out of the window and then spat on me. It broke my heart so very often, cause it manages to make you question yourself. morals about relationships out of the window. I re-read this story like five times.

still still still by toriosaurus. I was waiting, desperately, for every single chapter. This AU gives me everything I need and more. I remember doing fanart for this story and being very proud of it, even though it did no justice to the original story. Normally I am not a fan of, idk what to call it, no power AUs because most people just do the thing wrong for me. But this one hits.

If I recommend Twist and Shout now I get thrown into Turbohell, so idk if you want a very sinful Destiel fanfic, then read

Hot Water by Chiyume. I was 16, I decided to read Destiel fanfictions and this one kind of did it for me.

Don’t @ me. I really read a lot more than this, but I suck at organising myself and I just barely ever save shit. Also it’s late, I’ve been on a video call with my friend for over three hours now and I just like to clown when I am tired. Anyway, I used to bookmark Destiel fanfics back in the day and the rest is just. Read it, kudos, comment, and then I forget to save. The multichapter fics are often still in my subscribes, but sometimes. just.. not.

[jaefluenza]

When you’re with me — J e n o

‘Summer Dream’ project

“Oh my gosh! You don’t have no idea how happy I am to get these limited vip tickets! Do you want to go with me this Saturday?” You scream happily while you hold the two special tickets you got just about last night. You’re a fan of carnivals and this year, the city decided to hold a huge carnival event with celebrities and singers filling in the rundown. It turned out that your favorite singers are on the list!

“Ah, really? Well, good for you. But maybe you can ask another friend, y/n. I don’t think I’ll be available.” Jeno replied with a little hint of sadness in his eyes. You frown, “Wait, why? I thought you’re free this Saturday. I mean, I might have.. or not have checked your schedule because we’re literally in the same class, and you’re free for the rest of the week. Why? Do you have another plan?” You asked.

“No, y/n. It’s just, I don’t think I can enjoy this summer as much as I want.” That was when you knew he must be in some kind of trouble. You hold his hand gently, “Oh, jen, I’m sorry. Can I help you? You can tell me what’s wrong.”

He looked down, “I crashed my dad’s car last week and now he took all of my finances as detention, so I don’t think I can go with you this Saturday.”

You caressed his palm gently, “Jeno, don’t worry. These tickets are completely free, you don’t have to pay for it. You’re just going to have fun with me. Wait, that wasn’t the only thing I was gonna say. The thing is, are you literally grounded?”

“No, I can go outside, since it’s summer. But no money. You can say that I’m just paying for the insurance. Urgh,” he grunts grumpily.

“If you’re not grounded, why are you not available? You can still go. Please, jen.. pretty pretty please..” you begged. Jeno shakes his head gloomily, “Those tickets are free, but what about when we’re there? I don’t want you to pay for food. Also, no money no fun, Y/n.”

Whatever happened later on that day, you managed to convince him to go with you. You, yourself, got pretty impressed by your own ability to persuade him. You promised him that he doesn’t have to worry about paying, and that everyone makes mistakes, so it’s kind of your turn to distract him from the darned memory of accident.

Jeno walked alongside with you as his hands are wrapped tightly around yours, you both have just entered the carnival with excitement. You didn’t hide the cheerfulness in your face, but Jeno, he did. Even though he was so happy to go with you, his long-time crush, but he’s still grumpy about how he can’t pay for your meals, or buy you something at the carnival. Being a responsible adult sucks, Jeno thought.

“Hey, where’s that smile at? We should be happy in this kind of place, jen..” you brought your fingers to his cheeks, squeezing them lightly. He finally smiles, showing those beautiful eye smile as he nods gently. “Alright, alright. I got, y/n.”

“Then, let’s play before the concert starts!”

You dragged him to the center of the little amusement park. “What about viking?”

“Sure! I’m not afraid!” You both race to the vip entry with laughter, making kids around you shake their head.

“Bet you’re gonna scream louder than me, y/n.” Jeno shows you his famous smirk, and you only snorted. “Pfft, that sounds like a kink,” you muttered.

“Wait, what are you thinking- oh shit it’s starting!” He shrieks as the ride starts to move and he tighten his grips on the railing. “Hey, jen! You’re already shaking!” “I am not!”

You hold your stomach as it starts to hurt from laughing too much. “Dude, you should’ve seen yourself!”

“Yeah, I know, I look like a fool. And you bought that picture, urgh.”

You laughed at his grumpiness, as long as you know him, today is one of those days when he’s acting so whiny all day, and you couldn’t help but love him more, cause he’s so cute whenever he’s doing that.

As you both walk to the concert venue, Jeno keep his eyes on you, who’s in the middle of excitement for seeing your favorite singers on stage. A petite smile draws upon his face. After all, being with you alone simply makes him happy. Just holding your hand and letting you take him anywhere makes him fulfilled and complete. He’s happy to be with you.

“Look! It’s (y/f/s)! Oh my god! Jen, please tell me I’m not dreaming!” You yelled happily.

He ruffles your hair as he chuckles, “No, y/n. You’re not dreaming. You’re here, seeing your favorite singer, with me.”

You both sang along with the crowds, hands wrapped around each other’s waist, not planning to let go any time.

After the concert ended, you both walk to the arcade center when you saw a shooting booth, not because of the shooter machines, but the fluffy plushies as the winning prizes. “Jen, I want that!” You point at the giant unicorn plushie, and Jeno gasps when he sees the required points. “But I need to have 120 points to get that,” he mumbled.

“Alright, I’ll try. Wish me luck, y/n.” He smiled when you jumped around to cheer on him, as he gets ready with the shooter.

Too bad, he only caught 85, so he only got a bit smaller dog plushie for you. “Hey, it’s okay! He’s cute, I’m gonna name him Jenjen. I prefer puppies more than unicorns, anyway.” He cackles as he sees you playing with the pup plushie happily, and he blushed quietly when you named it after his name.

As the night gets darker, you and Jeno decided to ride on the giant ferris wheels with you holding Jenjen tightly.

“The view... is amazing.” You mumbled.

“Hey, y/n. Thank you for taking me here.”

You turn around and there you saw a pair of glistening eyes. You blink in nervousness as you look right into his eyes, finding a hint of affection there. “It’s.. it’s not a big deal, jen. As long as it’s you..” you paused.

You don’t know if you should confess right away to him. You’re afraid that he might eventually reject you, along with the fact that he has been in a bad mood all day.

“As long as it’s me...?” He asked. “Uh, I.. it’s just.. I’m also happy as long as it’s you.” There you go, you thought.

He smiles in relief, “Really? Y/n, do you like me?” He asked and you rolled your eyes. “Yes, jen. You don’t have to act so clueless like that.”

Seconds after you look away, you feel a tight hug surrounding your body, and Jeno’s head leaning onto your right shoulder as he squeals in delight. “Me too, y/n. I like you too, for so long.”

Jeno swears he could hear your heart beating so fast along with his, and as your ride comes on top of the wheel, he pulls away from the hug.

“Can I?” He asked while he looks at your lips, and you only nod.

He leans into you gently, feeling your lips on him, as you close both eyes to the kiss. His hands wrapped around your body, while you sneak your hand to close Jenjen’s little eyes.

Who would’ve thought that this could be the best summer ever for Jeno?

nct dream masterlist

nct 127 masterlist

[miss-emilia-cavill]

Something Unneeded, Something Unwanted, SOULMATE AU Henry Cavill & OFC CHAPTER ONE

It was taking everything that I had not to rush into the arms of my soulmate. He knew what he was doing to me- his face wore a happy smile as he twirled the red string- that fucking red string- that connected our hearts together, trying to get me to come up to him.

 But as I resisted, the happiness on his face melted away to confusement at my stubbornness.

 I knew what he must’ve been thinking- not everyone had a soulmate; those kind of romances were cherished and celebrated. So why was I protesting him?

 He gave the string another hard tug- this one so strong that it nearly pulled me from my chair and running towards him. Instead I fumbled for my backpack, my fingers searching for what I needed most at the moment. The four seconds it took me to locate my Swiss army knife seemed like hours to me.

 As I flicked the knife open, fear flickered onto his face; I took my part of the red string. And while looking him in the eye, I did it.

 I cut our connection.

 I grunted as the feeling of being kicked in the heart pounded from my chest. I dared to look up and the sight of him with a pained look on his face- the sight of him choking back tears almost broke my heart. I stood abruptly, shouldering my backpack and shrugging my coat on before I began to make my way towards the doors.

 “Henry? Are you alright?” I heard Joey asking my now ex- soulmate as I was almost at the doors.

 “My soulmate-” Fuck, he was crying. Oh dear god, I hated it when people would cry. I never knew what to do when people would start crying.

 I took out phone out from my pocket to check the time.

 11:49 AM

 I glanced behind me- seeing only a crowd of excited cosplayers, I replaced my hood with my top hat and slipped my backpack off my shoulder to dig around as I scanned my badge and left the San Diego Convention Center. I quickly located my hidden blade and slipped it onto my left arm, flexing my arm a little bit as I paused to hunt through my backpack once more.

 All the while, the strange feeling of being watched never went away. I looked around and I noticed a woman in a badass pantsuit, who appeared to be tailing me. A scoff later and I expertly melted into the crowd, seemingly leaving no trace of me behind or anywhere.

 My soulmate is Henry Cavill, THE Henry Cavill, I thought as I came to the crosswalk. I remembered watching interviews of him talking about his two passions- gaming and daydreaming about his soulmate.

 “To me, she’s just the most perfect girl in the world,” he practically swooned on one late night talk show. “I wonder if she’ll like Kal? Oh god, I hope so! But does she have any other pets? What’s her favorite color? Does she act? Does she enjoy gaming? What does she do for a living? Does she want children? Is she a MCU fan or a DC fan? Is her hair a complete mess of curls when she wakes up in the morning?”

 To answer those question, yes, I did have other pets- a horse named Star Daisy, two guinea pigs named Midnight and Snowflake, a pit bull named Ropey and a mastiff named Tennis.

 My favorite colors are blue and pink.

 Yes, I do act in local community productions.

 My favorite video games are the Assassin’s Creed franchise.

 I’m work in the costume department in theatre productions.

 Yes, I do want children.

 I swing both ways as far, as both franchises go.

 My hair gets so impossibly frizzy with curls when I wake up.

 I crossed the street, head held high and shoulders square as the sight of my fellow assassins and Templars made me grin.

 “Wow, looks like you guys are early!” I called out in a teasing tone of voice as my fellow assassins and Templars came into view. A loud chorus of “Elena!” met my ears as everyone crowded around me, greeting me happily with hugs.

 “Your Jacob is so dope!” my friend KC greeted me with a giant hug which resulted in my face squished in between her breasts.

 “Oh my gawd girl, right back at you; your Arno is dope!” I parroted back at her with a high pitched squeal.

 “Nice vest! Upgrade?” Cassie asked me, flicking her hood down to grin fully at me.

 “Working with lining is suck a pain!” I whined in response. “Anyways, I keep needing to size everything down!”

 Everyone knew what my comment was aimed towards; I had a case of anorexia so severe that I needed to wear a nasogastric feeding tube.

 “Anyways, how was the Witcher panel?” Emma asked me, quickly changing the subject.

 “The what now?” I couldn’t help but blink owlishly at her.

 “The Witcher panel,” she clarified. “Ohmygwad speaking of which but apparently, Henry Cavill saw his soulmate in the audience!”

 I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

 “Lucky man,” I mumbled, turning my attention to my hidden blade, where I began to pop the concealed bladed in and out of its sheath. I could practically feel their eyes meeting one another. “Alright, who’s ready to get this party started?”

 TAGLIST

@cavillimagines​

@mistress-of-ward​

@laketaj24​

@littlefreya​

@zodiyack​

@tillthelandslide​

@viking-raider​

@guardian-of-the-imagination​

@cavillanche​

[suitcasetales]

Hallo! Hilsen fra Norge!

(Hello! Greetings from Norway!)

According to our 2021 calendar, we flew to Norway Wednesday night. Yesterday’s itinerary included a mini-cruise, a tour of a stave church and a visit to a waterfall. Today, more fjords, quaint villages and a visit to a Viking museum. How I wish I could tell you all about it. How I wish I had beautiful photos to share with you. How I wish I had interesting factoids to pass along to you. But alas, this is 2021....or is it the 16th month of 2020?

What really happened? We went took a trip 65 miles away — versus 3,872 miles — and for all of 27-hours! And believe it or not, we did things we have never done before and I am so desperate to get back to writing, I thought I would tell you about it.

Ironically, it was a pandemic driven trip. Janet is a member of a gym here in Richmond, technically Midlothian, called ACAC (Atlantic Coast Athletic Club). It began in Charlottesville during the fitness craze in the 70’s and has a few locations now in Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania. Founder Phil Wendel “set out to operate a health club where everyone would feel comfortable coming to exercise.” Janet first started going via a 60-days- for-$60 P.R.E.P. (physician referred exercise program) incentive and has been there ever since. She has trained with personal trainers and taken various styles of water exercise classes but her favorite is Zumba where she can dance and shake her booty.

ACAC-Charlottesville was holding a fundraiser for an affordable housing charity in C’ville whose services and assistance, as you would be well aware of in this long pandemic, continue to be in high demand. The Sprint Pavilion, normally an outdoor, covered pavilion popular for concerts, was the venue for a morning of exercise classes, Zumba, Yoga and Afterburn. Participants paid money for each class. One of ACAC-Midlothian’s instructors, Marcela was invited to lead the 8:30 Zumba class. Janet thought it sounded fun so we decided to go up Friday night and do something wild and crazy and actually stay in a hotel.

Janet found us a suite hotel above the Barracks Road shopping center which accepted dogs (for only an additional $25) and did not have a two-night weekend requirement. With Cokie being the nervous dog that she is, we knew a take-out dinner would be our best option for Friday night, too. Again, Janet did the research and suggested C’ville’s number one rated restaurant, The Ivy Inn Restaurant. We have always known of it but had never eaten there and frankly, didn’t even know where it was located. Their website encouraged us to pre-order, even for take-out, as they often sell out. Thursday night, we ordered up a feast.

I left the hospital early Friday and we drove to Charlottesville and on to the hotel. Our suite was perfect and once settled in, I went and picked up our dinner, a six minute drive away. Our dinner was delicious. We treated ourselves to three courses. Janet had a nice salad with goat cheese and dates, pork chop with sweet potato mash and collards and strawberry rhubarb crisp with ice-cream. I had sweet potato empanadas , local mountain trout with rice and green beans and sticky toffee pudding with ice-cream. And although that sounds like a lot of food, the portions were actually reasonable and we were not miserably stuffed.

Nevertheless, I had not had my exercise for the day. The clouds had cleared, the sun was out, the sky was blue and so we went for a walk. Just behind the hotel, there was a short path that led to “The Park,” on the University of Virginia campus. We circumvented the several intramural athletic fields and a softball stadium (that looked more like a former softball stadium), found a wooded area with some trails where Cokie was more at home and then walked around some of the law school buildings. It was the perfect evening walk and we managed almost two miles.

At check-in, we were given this magnet to place on our room door. The magnet must remain on the door the entire stay. (And FYI if you travel with a dog, they can be left in your suite if in a crate.)

Saturday morning, we took advantage of the hotel’s grab-n-go breakfast, grabbing it and bringing it back to our room. Cokie and I delivered Janet to the amphitheater and went off to find a place to hike while she danced. We shortly found an entrance to the 20-mile Rivanna Trail which is a “rustic urban wilderness trail” and did a quiet and protected hike alongside a creek for about 20 minutes before returning to the truck and then back downtown to say high to Marcela and to pick up Janet.

Photos from my hike short hike with Cokie. The May Apples were in full bloom!

Marcela introduced Janet to the ACAC founder and was able to thank him and tell him she would not be the person she is today without ACAC.

We returned to our hotel (where we had a very generous noon checkout), showered, did some research for the rest of the day, and checked out around 11:15. It was so worth having stayed overnight!

Like Richmond, and perhaps even more so with the Blue Ridge mountains all around, Charlottesville has many opportunities for hiking. We didn’t want to drive further west in to Shenandoah or go along the Parkway as the forecast was not good. Instead, we went to the Ivy Creek Natural Area which offered about 7 miles of hiking trails. Unfortunately, as soon as we turned in to the parking areas, everywhere, there were “no dogs” signs. What?! No dogs? Well, darn.

But, knowing Cokie as we do, we hiked anyway and left Cokie snoozing in the truck. We knew she wouldn’t care — we always have to really coax her out of the truck anyway and convince her she will like what we are doing. It was cloudy and cool and we knew she would be alright. We ended up hiking less than 3 miles. We enjoyed the hike and it was a good workout, up and down a lot with beautiful wildflowers and some nice water views of a creek. Returning to the vehicle, Cokie could have cared less that we had been gone.....or even that we were back!

We debated for a bit, trying to decide if we wanted to go to one of the many breweries, cideries or wineries in the area, but again, it just was not going to be a pretty afternoon. For those of you who live in central Virginia, you will probably be shocked to read that we have never been to Carter Mountain Orchard so off we went! Or, if you have been there, up we went! Up the mountain road arriving to the huge parking lot and beautiful views from the summit. Bold Rock Cider has a satellite location there but again, no dogs were allowed.

So again, Cokie was left in the truck while we went on a short visit. We can’t imagine how crazy it is to visit in the Fall — we know many of you do it; we have seen your photos on Facebook. But having no children and not being huge fans of apples, we have now checked it off our list, and feeling fortunate to have visited it in on dull Spring day. On the other hand, Janet did enjoy a cider and as there were no savory food choices available (and outside food was not allowed, another pet peeve of ours), we had to have apple spice doughnuts for lunch. Yes, we HAD to have them.

Along the Carter Mountain road, a hiking trail had crossed over near the beginning so next we went in pursuit of its trailhead and parking area. We drove just around the corner to the Michie Tavern complex on the Thomas Jefferson Parkway (that leads to Monticello) and parked. We managed to get Cokie out of the truck and headed in the direction we thought the trail could be accessed, only it wasn’t. We turned back and walked along the Michie Tavern historic buildings to the other end of the parking lot, which was a dead end.

Janet sought the advice of the restaurant hostess and back down the highway we went, turning in to a small parking lot at Kemper Park and nabbing one of the last two parking spots. We packed our raincoats and hats and convinced Cokie that she would be okay — Come on, Cokie, you will like it — and finally managed to get going along the Saunders-Monticello Trail.

This “trail” is really a cinder road, so wide and very easy to walk, slightly but steadily climbing. Eventually, we took a side trail to an overlook and then saw a trail jutting off from it and decided to diverge. A great decision, too, as it was a very vigorous ascent, followed by a hike along the contours before descending to a nice footbridge that returned to us to the main hiking road. And, we had that trail it all to ourselves. At the end, we read a sign where it had built in memoriam of a Monticello trail manager. It was the perfect workout after a doughnut lunch. Hike number four, in the books. And just as we made it back to the parking lot, it started raining.

We drove home in steady rain and ended our mini-vacation (and I do mean mini!) with a dine-in dinner at Lola’s Farmhouse Bistro in Manakin-Sabot. We thought we might have to just do take-out but called enroute to see if we could make a reservation. As expected, they were fully booked but ended up accommodating us when we said it was just the two of us and we could be there by 5:00. The hostess said it wouldn’t hurt if we could get there even earlier, and we did....and had the restaurant to ourselves. We both had large, tasty salads and even scored a free takeaway dessert as an apology when, due to the kitchen not being busy yet, our entrees of lobster ravioli and chicken Marsala arrived before we had even put a dent in our salads!

No, it wasn’t Norway. And it wasn’t even a multi-night getaway but a getaway, no matter where, is better than nothing these days. But finally doing some writing feels good!! And if we ever make it to Norway, we will eat hjortebakkels (Norwegian cake donuts) for lunch and I will tell you all about it.

[packet-of-staples]

Okay so I’ve been dwelling on this au idea for a while so I thought I’d might as well share it now and post art later. Basically I'm just assigning each of the Sides and Thomas a HTTYD dragon because I love both series. Feel free to tell me your opinions on my list and what dragons you would assign them yourself, and I'm also drawing Viking designs for each of the sides that I'll probably post here and on my twitter if I ever finish them. I'm using the How to train your dragon wiki for all of the information about the dragons, check it out here: https://howtotrainyourdragon.fandom.com/wiki/How_to_Train_Your_Dragon_Wiki. I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes, repeated statements or janky sentences. (This is strictly the Sides and Thomas, but if anyone really wants me to I can assign Picani and Remy dragons too in the future.)

Okay so beginning with Virgil. I decided that a Crimson Goregutter would be the best choice for him, because of their mainly gentle and peaceful nature. They generally loners but are still protective and loyal to the ones they love and are only really violent when provoked. I feel like this gentle giant would be a good match for Virgil because 1) They are peaceful and gentle, which would be good for helping with Virgil's anxiety and 2) You know he would be hanging out on those big ol' horns. Plus porple.

Next we have Logan. A Deadly Natter is a pretty obvious choice since they are intelligent and are able to be taught how to use tools. They have a high amount of stamina and are pretty vain (Come on we all know Logan is at least a little full of himself, but I still love him anyway). Deadly Natters are often skittish and anxious, which with Logan's mainly monotone demeanor is a good contrast (Think, Virgil and Goregutter but roles reversed). I feel like Logan would enjoy training his dragon to do all sorts of tricks and the two of them definitely go on expeditions together and discover new lands and dragons. Also, ya know, blue.

Patton is next!! Mr Proud Papa would have a Scuttleclaw, ya know those adorable little babies that just had endless energy? The little things, while pretty hard to handle as young, are still surprisingly easy to train. Patton's matching energy and optimism is perfect for these guys and he'll be the proudest Dragon Papa in the world to see his little dragon baby turn into something great! I think he would be up for the challenge of raising a Scuttleclaw, don't you? Though I definitely think he would go to Logan for tips on training dragons. Also they come in blue! He's probably had his dragon since it was an egg perhaps remus tried to eat it or something…. I mean I wouldn't put the rat man past it

Speaking of Remus at first I thought of giving him and Roman a Hideous Zippleback, Roman sparks and Remus gas. But I don't think Roman would really want to share a dragon with Remus so…....

Hold on a second!!! You've gotten about half way through this post! Here have this glass of milk and this cookie for your hard work: 🥛🍪

Roman having a Monstrous Nightmare is probably a pretty obvious choice too. They are one of the most similar looking to fairytale dragons and are fearless and proud, as we all know our amazing Prince is, so the two of them will always be going head first into danger. Monstrous Nightmares also have short tempers and very little patience which we know Roman also has, but! They still have soft sides to them, still very loyal and kind to their friendos. This pairing is less about the qualities that would help the other like the other three, and is more about matching qualities, they would get along very well, I would say. Also he would have a red one, obviously. 

Remus. Terrible Terror. He has a flock of them. I don't think an explanation is needed.

For Janus at first I was a little on the fence about giving him a Changewing, even though I knew I wanted to. They are team players,very cooperative and are extremely maternal dragons that will protect their young by any means necessary, these traits threw me off a bit. But then I started seeing fan art of Janus acting as the parental unit to the dark sides and I was like "Mmm yes father mans." and I started to realise that the paternal instincts fitted him better than I thought. Also you know, Changewings disguise themselves to fit into their environment and are overall pretty snakey bois, which matches our snakey boi. The snake part of Janus' face would probably be replaced by a burn scar, he'll tell you that "I totally got it from an epic fight." But we all know he got it from trying to wrangle his dragon. Unfortunately changewings don't come in yellow, so Janus would have a green one.

And lastly Thomas, he would have a Night Fury (Obviously in a world where there is more than one Night fury). NOT just because he is the main character, but also parts of the personality for a Night Fury can be segregated into the parts Thomas did for each of the characters, specifically the main 4. They are aggressive to threats and tend to be aloof (Virgil), but they are creative, (example being Toothless' drawing) and are very expressive and Loyal (Roman), They are observant and intelligent (Logan) and again They are very expressive, Playful and curious (Patton). Also they act Like cats and dogs which we know Thomas likes. Also because he's the main character. Thomas would also be the Chief!!!! Of course Roman and Remus aren't his kids tho, he's probably assigned Roman to be next in line or something.

Wow this is a longg post, I thought wayyy too much into this, if you read the entire thing then hats off to you! Have either this hard candy or chocolate, or both, whichever one you prefer: 🍬 🍫. Anyway, thank you for reading and you can feel free to use this au for writing or art if you want to! Just make sure to tag me in it cause I wanna see what you make >:3. I will probably post my viking designs here at some stage or on my Twitter (@/PacketOfStaples) cause I'm a bit more active there, so look out for them if you want. 

Alright Fellow Fander out.

[transienturl]

Q: How much do I know about sports off the top of my head? I’m bored, so let’s find out.

NFL:

NFC West (one of the strongest divisions ever):

Seattle Seahawks. Key (and less-key) players: Russell Wilson (QB), DK Metcalf (WR), Tyler Lockett (WR), Freddie Swain (WR), Greg Olsen (TE), Colby Parkinson (TE), Damien Lewis (G), Duane Brown (T), Ethan Pocic (C, I think?), Chris Carson (RB), Rashaad Penny (RB), Travis Homer (RB), Michael Dickson (P), help what’s the kicker’s name, Jamal Adams (S), Quandre Diggs (S), Bobby Wagner (LB), KJ Wright (LB), Jordyn Brooks (LB), Poona Ford (DI), Jarran Reed (defensive... line somewhere), Shaquill Griffon (CB), Quinton Jefferson (CB), Tre Flowers (CB), Benson Mayowa (DE), Carlos Dunlap (DE), Alton Robinson (DE), Shaquem Griffon (DE), god I can’t remember the new slot corner but he’s pretty good I think. Coach: Pete Carroll. OC: Brian Schottenheimer. DC: Ken Norton, Jr. GM: John Schneider. Owner: Jody Allen. Notes: Every game is close. Used to always run, but this year always throws. Quarterback is basically magic. Defense is severely lacking. My home team, obviously.

San Francisco 49ers. Key players: Jimmy Garoppolo (QB), George Kittle (TE), many fast running backs, Raheem Mostert is one of them, Trent Williams (T), Richard Sherman (CB), Nick Bosa (DE). Coach: Kyle Shanahan. Notes: Running game scheme is a work of staggering genius. Best player is a tight end for some reason. Went to the Super Bowl last year.

Arizona Cardinals. Key players: Kyler Murray (QB), Larry Fitzgerald (WR), DeAndre Hopkins (WR), Christian Kirk (WR), Budda Baker (S), Patrick Peterson (CB). Coach: Kliff Kingsbury. Notes: Runs many wide receivers, in scheme Kingsbury got from coaching college. Used to be bad, but getting better each year. Kyler is very small.

Los Angeles Rams. Key players: Jared Goff (QB), Cooper Kupp (WR), Andrew Whitworth (T), Darrell Henderson (RB), Aaron Donald (DI), Johnny Hekker (P). Coach: Sean McVay. DC: Used to be Wade Phillips, but not anymore. Notes: Runs a lot of plays from the same formation. Coach is very smart. Made the Super Bowl two years ago. Best player is a defensive tackle, for some reason.

NFC East (the worst division in NFL history):

New York Giants. Key players: Daniel Jones (QB), Saquon Barkley (RB). Coach: Joe, uh... Douglas. GM: Dave Gettleman. Notes: Spent a huge amount of draft capital on players the numbers said weren’t worth it. Seems accurate.

Philadelphia Eagles. Key players: Carson Wentz (QB), Jalen Hurts (backup QB), literally everyone else is injured. Oh, Jason Peters (T). Coach: Doug Peterson. GM: Howie Roseman. Notes: Everyone is injured. Everyone. Went to the Super Bowl 3 years ago and won with their backup QB.

Dallas Cowboys. Key players: Dak Prescott (QB, injured), Andy Dalton (backup QB, injured), No one of note (third-string QB), Amari Cooper (WR), CeeDee Lamb (WR), Ezekiel Elliott (RB), Leighton Vander Esch (LB), Greg Zuerlein (K), I could probably name more if I tried hard enough. Coach: Mike McCarthy. GM: Jerry Jones. Owner: Also Jerry Jones. Notes: Every year they have good players and lose anyway. Paid their running back instead of their quarterback. Also, now they have no healthy quarterback.

Washington [used to have a racist name]. Key players: Dwayne Haskins (benched QB), Alex Smith (QB... whose leg does not work), Kyle Allen (QB), Terry McLaurin (WR), Chase Young (DE), Montez Sweat (DE). Coach: Ron Rivera. Owner: Dan Snyder, who is the worst human being in the NFL, and that is saying a lot. Notes: No one cares about the football, Dan Snyder should be in jail. Also, Ron Rivera has cancer and Alex Smith’s leg injury almost killed him, so those guys deserve better.

NFC North:

Detroit Lions. Key Players: Matthew Stafford (QB), um, I should remember some more. Jeff Okudah (CB). Coach: Matt Patricia. Notes: Stafford deserves better. Patricia keeps signing ex-Patriots players, and it doesn’t work, presumably because the good ones are current-Patriots-players.

Minnesota Vikings. Key players: Kirk Cousins (QB), Adam Thielen (WR), Justin Jefferson (WR), Dalvin Cook (RB), many good defensive players whose names I don’t know. Coach: Mike Zimmer. Notes: Historically a good defense and just missing a competent QB. Paid a lot for an average QB; defense sucks now for some reason. Also, runs a lot.

Chicago Bears. Key Players: Mitchell Trubisky (QB), Nick Foles (QB), Allen Robinson (WR), Khalil Mack (DE). Coach: Matt Nagy. Notes: Has been wasting great defensive performances with poor to average quarterback play since World War II.

Green Bay Packers. Key Players: Aaron Rodgers (QB), Davante Adams (WR), Allan Lazard (WR), Aaron Jones (RB), Jamaal Williams (RB), Robert Tonyan (TE), David Bakhtiari (T), Za’Darius Smith (DE), Preston Smith (DE). Coach: Matt LaFleur. GM: Brian Gutekunst. Owner: “The fans.” Notes: Has started a hall-of-famer at quarterback every season since before you were born. Winning big but the analytics say they’re getting a bit lucky lately.

NFC South:

Atlanta Falcons. Key players: Matt Ryan (QB), Julio Jones (WR), I forgot the new WR’s name but he looks legit, Todd Gurley (RB). Coach that was recently fired: Dan Quinn. Notes: Have become known for inexplicably blowing enormous leads late in games. It’s quite funny, at this point.

New Orleans Saints. Key players: Drew Brees (QB), Michael Thomas (WR), Alvin Kamara (RB), Taysom Hill (listed as backup QB but just kinda does weird shit on offense), Jameis Winston (backup QB), Cam Jordan (DE), I should remember the cornerback’s name. Coach: Sean Payton. Notes: Known for having tons of talent every year, salary cap be damned, and then losing in heartbreaking fashion in the playoffs. Brees is getting old.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Key players: Tom Brady (QB), Mike Evans (WR), Chris Godwin (WR), this one WR who can go eat shit, Rob Gronkowski (TE), Antoine Winfield Jr (S), Vita Vea (DI). Coach: Bruce Arians. Notes: Signed Tom Brady. It’s working pretty well. Defense is top-tier. The most balanced team.

god, who is the other NFC south team, uh...  hold on, lemme get back to you.

AFC North:

Baltimore Ravens

Pittsburgh Steelers

Cleveland Browns

um... Cincinnati Bengals? Maybe?

AFC East:

New York Jets

New England Patriots

Miami Dolphins

Buffalo Bills

AFC South:

Houston Texans

Jacksonville Jaguars

Tennessee Titans

uhh... Indianapolis Colts.

AFC West:

Denver Broncos

Kansas City (I think this name should be changed too, honestly)

Las Vegas Raiders

I guess this must be the Los Angeles Chargers?

Oh, so the other NFC South team is the Carolina Panthers. Of course. Key players: Teddy Bridgewater (QB), Christian McCaffrey (RB and also arguably their best receiver), Yetur Gross-Matos (DE). Coach: Matt Rhule. Notes: Rebuilding their team this year, but quietly doing pretty well, considering.

Alright, I’m gonna stop there. Didn’t even get to the other half of the NFL, let alone started to try and list NBA/MLB/NHL teams, which would have gone extremely poorly. Story for another day.

Also, uh, yeah, this is a normal amount to know about football as someone who doesn’t watch football, oooobviously...

[cruelangelstheses]

in the salt and swell

fandom: dragon age rating: T characters: merrill/isabela words: 1.9k additional tags: historical au, mythology au, fluff, first meetings, flirting, mermaid au description: after she and her crew end up shipwrecked, isabela encounters a mermaid. a/n: hi!! this was written for day 2 of @merribelaweek (which was yesterday but it’s fine lmao) using the prompts “ocean” and “mythology”! title from “the ocean” by against me!

read it on ao3

—

Sailing into the storm was a gamble, she’d say about it later.

And what a gamble it was.

But they’d had little choice, being chased by three French ships hellbent on getting their goods back. They’re pirates, not Vikings, and rather than get their asses thoroughly handed to them in a naval battle, Captain Isabela had decided to sail directly into an oncoming storm, figuring that it would either scare the French away or do them in, too.

She was right about that part, and they got away with several famous paintings, all worth her weight in gold, that she’d promised a former acquaintance in exchange for freeing his slaves. The storm wasn’t finished with them, though, and while Isabela has sailed through her fair share of typhoons, none made their mark quite like this one did.

The tumultuous ocean, the uncontrollable winds, the horrifying crack of lightning that split her eardrums and sent the mast crashing down onto the deck—all of it is a blur of adrenaline in Isabela’s memory. She remembers clinging desperately to the wheel, at first to try to steer the ship, but eventually just to have something to hold on to. She remembers the way it popped off its hinges and took her with it.

She and her crew all survived, luckily, albeit quite a bit worse for wear and having lost a few barrels of cargo. The paintings survived, miraculously, having been stored in a large, watertight crate. Her ship, however, was not as fortunate.

The Siren’s Call. Her baby. She had smashed against an outcrop of large, jagged rocks, launching them all onto the rough, unforgiving shore. When Isabela first looked up and saw the damage, the splintered mast, the torn sails hanging limply, it felt as if she’d been gutted, like she’d lost a part of her. I don’t know if she can be fixed, Varric had said. Isabela almost slapped him.

As it turns out, she can be fixed—for a price. There’s a shipbuilder in the town closest to where they wrecked, a quaint port city just off the coast of Wales, who offered to repair it as long as they could pay the fee. With all the damage sustained, it cost almost as much as it would to just have a new ship built. After a heated debate with her crew in which more than one suggested just stealing a new ship, they decided to just pay up. It wasn’t like they were short on money, anyway, even after losing some of their cargo.

So now Captain Isabela and her pirate crew have to search for things to do to pass the time while they wait for the Siren’s Call to be repaired. They spend their first few nights gambling and cheating at cards, easily winning back some of the money they had to spend on the ship. During the day, though, they all go off on their own, taking strolls through town or day-drinking to ward off the pain from their injuries. Isabela, for her part, always finds herself drawn back to the sea.

It’s been less than a week since the shipwreck, but she already misses sailing more than she misses her own mother (which is not much at all, but the point still stands). She misses the sea spray on her face, the view of endless ocean on the horizon, the gentle rocking of the boat on open water. For now, though, she contents herself with walking along the shoreline, letting the waves lap at her toes and watching crabs skitter across the sand.

It’s during one of these excursions, while she’s standing up to her knees alone in the water and breathing in the salty air, that Isabela notices something out in the distance.

The first thing that catches her attention is a splash, and when she squints, she can see droplets of saltwater flying up into the sky and then falling back down again. It’s probably a fish, she thinks, but if so, it’s quite a large one. Then she sees it: a green, fan-like tail at least the size of a dolphin’s. Every few seconds, it pops back up above the water with a splash, each time closer to Isabela than the last. By now she can see a dark silhouette beneath the surface, and it’s headed straight for her.

Isabela takes a few steps backward and reaches into her coin purse, where she’s stored a small but effective dagger. If this were a shark, she’d probably just run, but she has no idea what this creature is. She’s never seen anything like it.

Before she can make a decision, a head pops up out of the water, and Isabela almost chokes in surprise.

It’s a girl.

Granted, she has strange markings, almost like tattoos, all over her face, and her ears are shaped like fins, but nonetheless, Isabela is undoubtedly staring at a person.

A person with a fish tail.

“Hello!” the girl says in a lilting Welsh accent. “Are you and your friends alright? I saw the shipwreck a few days ago. Nasty one, that was.”

For a few seconds, Isabela just stares, dumbfounded. Then, snapping back into reality, she shakes her head and replies, “I, uh—yes, we’re all fine. What is—who—what are you?” If she didn’t know any better, she’d think she was hallucinating, but she didn’t drink that much last night (the more sober she is, the better she is at cards), and she hasn’t drank at all today. Two equally distressing thoughts cross her mind: One, she shouldn’t be hallucinating; and two, she’s fairly certain that she isn’t.

“Oh! Sorry,” the girl says. “I take it you’ve never met a mermaid before? I suppose you wouldn’t have; we mostly keep to ourselves.”

Isabela blinks a few times, but the girl—the mermaid—doesn’t disappear. “No,” she says indignantly. “I’ve never even heard of you except for in stories. Fictional stories. You know, mythology and such.”

“All stories contain some element of truth in them,” the girl replies, matter-of-fact.

Isabela frowns and thinks back to when she and her crew first ended up on the beach. Captain, I know you’ll never believe me, Varric had said to her, but I think I saw a...a siren or a mermaid or something. When she called bullshit, he’d added, I was underwater, and then I felt these soft, small hands grabbing my wrists and pulling me to shore. When I opened my eyes, I swear I saw some half-human, half-fish thing diving back into the sea.

She hadn’t taken him seriously, of course, but why would she? Even if she’d believed in mermaids, Varric is always making up fanciful tales; in fact, that’s about all he does. How was she to know that he might have actually been telling the truth for once in his life?

“You...you saved one of my crewmates,” she says out loud.

The girl nods. “Right, the stout one with all that chest hair.”

Isabela lets out a short bark of a laugh. “You noticed that?”

The girl shrugs. “How could I not? He seemed to practically have it out on display. But I thought maybe the storm had just messed his clothes up.”

Isabela shakes her head. “No, he wears all his shirts like that.”

The girl puts her hands up to her mouth and giggles. Isabela can’t help the astonished smile that creeps onto her face. She’s having a conversation with a mermaid, and quite a beautiful one at that.

“Oh!” the girl says suddenly. “I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Merrill.”

It’s a lovely name, even lovelier when she says it with that pretty voice of hers. “You can call me Isabela,” Isabela says. “Well. Technically it’s Captain Isabela, but I don’t exactly have a ship to captain right now.”

Merrill grimaces. “Yeah, it was in pretty bad shape last I saw it. Is it getting fixed up? I noticed the shipbuilder investigating it the other day.”

“It is,” Isabela says, and then she laughs again as realization strikes her. “Do you know what I named it? I named it the Siren’s Call.”

Merrill snorts. “See, you were bound to meet one of us sooner or later.”

Isabela takes another few steps backward and sits down in the shallow tides, not even caring that she’s getting ocean water and wet sand on her clothes. Merrill swims up to her and lies down on her side a few paces ahead of her, letting the waves crash over her.

Up close, Isabela can see the way her torso gradually shifts from human to fish. The lower half of her body is one long, large fish tail that shimmers with bright green scales. Her top half is the same as a human’s, save for the ears. Isabela can’t help but notice that Merrill isn’t wearing any kind of covering, not that she really expected her to.

“Must be nice,” she says, eyeing her companion’s chest, “being able to just bare your whole self like that. We humans have societal norms that make it socially unacceptable for me to run around nude. Or even just in my smallclothes.”

Merrill giggles and makes no move to cover her breasts. “So I’ve heard.”

For a moment, they both just stare, each taking the other in. Then Isabela asks about the thing that’s been on her mind the moment Merrill stuck her head out of the water.

“So mermaids are real, huh?”

Merrill smiles. “Still in disbelief? That makes sense. Like I said, we’re quite reserved. We’ve been hiding for thousands of years, right under you humans’ noses. We’ve seen what your kind can do when you discover something strange or different. Besides, for a long time there was never really much reason for our paths to cross, us living in the ocean and you all living on land.”

Isabela narrows her eyes. “Then why did you save Varric? Why are you even talking to me?”

“We save sailors every once in a while,” Merrill explains. “They’re usually unconscious by that time anyway, or they think whatever they saw or felt was a trick of the mind, especially when they’re alone. As for why I’m talking to you…” She drums her fingers thoughtfully against the wet sand. “You seemed...different. I saw the way you’d sit out here for hours, just staring at the sea. I could tell you longed for it. You reminded me of...well, of a mermaid. You belong to the ocean, just like we do.”

Isabela’s mouth curls into a soft smile. “I suppose you’re right, Merrill,” she says, staring dreamily into the distance. “I suppose you’re right.”

After a short pause, Merrill adds, “Your looks didn’t hurt, either.”

That snaps her back immediately, and when she glances back over at the seemingly innocent sea maiden, Isabela notices a playful glint in her wide green eyes.

The smile on her face shifts into a delighted smirk. Two can play at that game. “Tell me, kitten,” she says, the nickname springing to her lips and sounding perfect as soon as it leaves her mouth, “how would one go about pleasuring a mermaid?”

[som3thingcr3ative]

By Her Blood 3

SURPRISE! I said this would be out later this week but all of the comments have made my fingers lighting fast on my keyboard. I’m pretty sure my thighs have permanent laptop impressions on them haha

I love this chapter. It’s crazy and foreboding and it’s a good indication of what’s to come... plus you get to meet the parents!!

Warnings: semi-nakedness, awkwardness, parents, cursing. fluff and angst.

LAST TIME: You are fueled by fear for your friends, by fear of what they could summon left unchecked in a crypt, by fear of what could make Ivar himself afraid. So as your feet pound into the smooth stone floor of the crypt, as you turn the corner into the main room, you expect the worst. 

But you do not expect that.

Three of the fifteen teens are banging a large drum in rhythm with two singers. The two singers are reading off a sheet of Old Norse, while everyone else stands in a connected circle around a dead raccoon. 

“STOP!” You scream, your voice echoing in the cavernous room, the very earth beneath you trembling as it reflects your panic. 

And they stop. 

Fifteen wide sets of eyes land on you. Even the raccoon, with the haze of death over its pupil, seems to stare at you. 

Your breath is a seething hiss as you curse in Old Norse, scaring your friends with just how intense your anger is. 

“None of you have any idea what you are doing! I warned you! This is no joke! You are pissing off some really ancient spirits- enough that I knew! From a mile away! In my fucking sleep!”

For a moment everything is silent save for your heaving breath. You count to ten in your mind, and then backward, trying to pace each breath. It doesn’t work. Your knees threaten to buckle, and then Ivar stands behind you, holding you upright with an arm around your waist. 

When you finally speak, it is barely above a whisper. 

“All of you need to leave. Now.”

And when fifteen teenagers give you a deer-in-the-headlights stare, you lose your last bit of patience. “NOW!”

As soon as they are out of hearing, you take a careful step toward the raccoon, and then another, and another until you stand in front of it. 

You crouch, willing your eyes away from its death-stare, scanning its body. 

There. The creatures’ abdomen and part of the ribcage have been flattened by a tire. A rather large tire, with tonnes of force behind it. A truck. Eighteen-wheeler perhaps. Nothing to suggest that one of your friends had found, trapped, and killed it. 

They simply moved it. 

Still, your stomach twists in revulsion at the thought. How could they be so oblivious to the danger of blood magic? Especially after seeing Ivar?

“What do I do?” You ask Ivar as he inspects the drum. 

“Calm the spirits, reverse what damage they have done.” He glances sidelong at you. “And put that animal to rest.”

So you settle onto the stone floor and close your eyes, reaching out to the restless spirits around you. 

Several dozen Frankish nobles. Three Frankish Kings. Hundreds of soldiers. Queens, princes, princesses. 

You seek the calm place in yourself, only mildly surprised that thinking of Ivar has the best effect, and you spread that calm over the spirits like a fine mist. They settle, slowly at first, finally calming enough to return to rest. Your eyes open and you reach out to close the unseeing gaze of the raccoon. 

Peace and quiet reigns once more in the chamber. 

“Ivar?” You ask, glancing around. He is gone. “Ivar!” Your voice becomes tinged with panic. Still, no answer. 

And then, you hear it. 

Someone is standing around the corner. 

You heave a sigh and push yourself up, making a show of stretching. Finally you turn, not even blinking at the teens gathered in the cave mouth with their cameras directed at you. 

“What?” You growl, glaring at them. The whole reason you are even in this mess is because of them. Because they tried to summon a spirit in a crypt full to bursting with them. And of course, they are videoing the whole thing. “Do you really think this is a joke?” You demand, spreading your arms. “None of this is for your entertainment. None of it.” 

You glance at the raccoon, at the cameras, and then back. With a sigh, you pick up the still-warm creature and place it in an alcove as a final resting place. When you draw back your hand, you sigh in resignation. 

If your Viking family has taught you anything, it is that your blood is powerful. 

And you are bleeding. 

A jagged piece of rock was all it took to slice your hand. Your blood wells up in the cut, weeping out of the edges, dripping onto the floor. 

Your friends scream. Tilting your head back and closing your eyes, you sigh again. “Do I even wanna know?” You mutter. 

And then you turn around. 

The shadows in the corners of the cave are spiraling into the center, where they coalesce into a man-like shape, writhing and whirling in a dark mass. The shape solidifies and you can see dark pieces of armor, axes and knives, blood. 

The shadows recede, leaving a tall form in their wake. Black hair tied in intricate braids. Stunning blue eyes. Full lips, a cocky grin. 

“Ivar,” you gasp, facing the Viking. One of your friends faints, collapsing to the floor with a thud. 

“Little dove,” he murmurs, reaching out a gloved hand to you. His fingers, calloused from a lifetime of work, gently brush your hair back. 

Just like that, your heart melts. 

You rush forward, embracing him. Nothing else exists for a moment. Just you and Ivar at last. 

~

An hour later, you’ve successfully snuck a viking into your hotel room. You can’t be bothered with the videos your friends took, or the possibility of the hotel cameras catching your mad dash in the middle of the night. Not when Ivar is there, not when you have too many other things on your mind.

“I’ve seen people do this so many times,” He complains, “it should be easy. Why isn’t it easy?” You lean across him, trying your hardest to ignore his bare chest or the towel slung low around his hips. The knob in the bathtub turns under your touch and water spills from the faucet. Ivar curses. “How did you do that?”

“You have to pull it out and turn it at the same time.” Biting your lip, you try not to laugh at his expense. Although he lived so long ago, he’d been able to watch society advancing through time. He’d seen all of the changes in technology, had borne witness to things beyond his wildest imagination. He’d also seen things he would much rather forget; sometimes he’d get stuck in certain locations, like the bedroom of a grown man who enjoyed anime a little too much. (Ivar could never look at Waluigi or the word ‘hentai’ the same way again.) But being unable to interact was a challenge. He’d never had the hands-on experience you had. Suffice to say there would be a learning curve.

“I’m going to get you some normal clothes.” You say, leaving him to the bath. “When the tub’s full, just push the knob in. I’ll be back soon.” Halfway out of the door, you turn suddenly. He looks up, a hand already on the towel around his waist. “And for fuck’s sake, please don’t leave the room!”

He nods. Trying not to blush at his near-nakedness, you snatch your bag off of the bed and head out, googling the nearest walmart.

~

What feels like a short time later, the morning sun peeks through the hotel’s beige curtains and lands obnoxiously on your face. Everything is warm except for your hand draped over the side of the bed; there’s an arm slung around your waist, warm breath fanning over the crook of your shoulder. 

Just as you turn to Ivar, ready to wake him up, there’s a pounding on your door. 

“Y/N!” Your mother’s voice calls. “Y/N open this door now!”

Ivar startles awake, his bright eyes clouded with sleep. He looks at you first, confused but ready to fight. His arm tightens around your waist, drawing you into the protection of his body. “It’s alright,” You say, resting a hand on his bicep. “It’s just my mom.” 

“She sounds angry.” he growls, glaring at the door. 

“She won’t hurt me.” It’s the truth. Your mother had always been good to you, if a little too smothering. He releases you grudgingly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m coming!” You shout to the door, gesturing for Ivar to get a shirt on. 

“Hi, mom.” Her face is bright red, your father standing with his arms crossed right behind her when you open the door. “Hi, dad. What’s wrong?”

  “Maybe you can explain this?” She says, thrusting a phone at your face. Her text messages are displayed on the screen, the most recent from Laney’s father. You tap on the image and it brings up a video.

It’s grainy, but you can clearly see the whirling shadows of the crypt, your palm dripping blood. Your fathers’ eyes lock on your hand, on the white bandage Ivar had so carefully wrapped last night. His face goes pale. 

“They were trying to summon a spirit.” You say, pausing the video. There’s no point watching- you know what happens. “I got there just in time, but they’d angered the spirits in the crypt and they’d found a dead racoon on the road; I laid it to rest in an alcove and cut my hand when I tried to pull back. You know the whole ‘gods-blessed blood’ spiel, well there was a lot of blood, and, well, I’d like you to meet Ivar.”

You gesture into your hotel room. They both give you odd looks, but they walk in anyway. “Fucking hell!” Your father curses. For a second you expect to hear your mother’s scathing ‘Language, Y/D/N,’ but it never comes. 

Ivar is perched calmly on the edge of the bed, his crutches leaning on the bedside table, the armor he’d been wearing when he’d recorporated on the chair in the corner of the room. He hadn’t had time to put on his braces, but his arms are tensed like he’s ready to jump to your aid at the slightest provocation. 

“Ivar, these are my parents, Mom, Dad, this is Ivar ven bonelesse, former King of the Vikings.”

“Nope.” Your mom says, shaking her head. “No, this is not happening. Young lady, you are so grounded!”

Ivar’s eyes dart to you. “Grounded?” He asks, his tone insinuating it meant something totally different in his time. 

“It’s fine,” You say to him, tongue tripping just before you let a word slip that would really make the situation awkward. This is not how you wanted your parents to meet your boyfriend. “Mom, I swear it wasn’t my fault. I tried to stop them. Dad? You’re really quiet.”

“Is that your armor?” Your dad asks, his eyes wide as saucers as he runs to the chair, dropping to his knees in front of it. He holds it reverently, the same way you’d seen him hold priceless artifacts. Ivar tilts his head, looking to you for clarification. 

“Dad?” 

“This is amazing!” He says, running his fingers over the patterning. “It’s the most intact piece I’ve ever seen! It’s like it was just made!”

“Honey, that’s not the issue here.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Look at the detail!”

“What are we supposed to do now that someone who has been dead for thousands of years is now sitting on our daughters bed?” Your mom asks, gesturing to Ivar like he’s not even there. “They didn’t go over this in archaeology classes!”

“I think we could start with treating him like an actual human being.” Rolling your eyes, you sit down next to Ivar. He casually slips his arm behind you, rubbing his thumb in circles on your back. You lean into the touch. “I told you I’ve been seeing him since the party.”

“That doesn’t-” She starts, shaking her head. “This shouldn’t be possible.”

“Y/N is special.” Ivar says. “She is the fulfillment of a prophecy from long before my time. She can do so much more than she has already done.” He looks down at you can’t can’t help but to add, “A child like her would be a blessing to any Viking.”

Your blush doesn’t help matters. Ivar’s answering grin and the easy manner the two of you have don’t help either. Your mother’s eyes narrow, darting between you two. 

“You’re dating him.” It’s not a question. Ivar can feel you tense. 

“So what if I am?” you dare to ask, leaning against his side. “I told you I’ve been seeing him since the party. He saved my life with that robber. He’s saved my life many times, actually. At least he treats me like I’m a person. You’ve never been willing to accept that I’m different. You’ve always made me hide it!” Suddenly you’re shaking with rage, finding yourself on your feet before your brain catches up with your body. “With you it’s ‘don’t speak Old Norse, Y/N,’ or ‘stop talking about the Viking spirits, Y/N.’. But guess what! I’m not crazy! I was never wrong about what happened! And now you can’t deny that!”

Ivar grips your wrist in warning: your fists are clenched, your nails nearly to the point of breaking skin. Even your father has turned to watch the fight. “Liten en,” He murmurs, tugging you back against him. Little one. “It’s okay. She couldn’t possibly understand before this.”

You fall onto the bed, your rage dropping away as Ivar wraps an arm around your shoulders, tucking you against his chest. Your mother looks unbearably sad when you finally look up at her.

“I was trying to protect you.” She murmurs, “I was worried someone would take you away if they found out I let you be in danger at that site when you fell. I didn’t want them to diagnose you with schizophrenia and lock you away. Y/N, I was trying to do what was best for you. I didn’t know it was hurting you. I’m sorry.”

It’s hard to see her like this, her eyes shining with tears as she looks at you like you’re her whole world, but you know that years of denial wouldn’t go away with an apology, so you set your jaw and harden your heart, at least for now. The anger you’d held in your chest only a minute before has calmed, leaving only a sense of emptiness behind. Ivar’s touch soothes you so you lean against him, seeking his comfort. 

“I get that.” You say eventually. “But it doesn’t change what happened. I can’t forget so easily.” Her face falls, a tear slipping down her cheek. Your father moves to comfort her, the armor forgotten. “We can start with you accepting that Ivar is part of my life now. We can move on, make things better from here on out.”

Your mom nods. She looks at Ivar, at the defined muscles of his chest and arms, the intimidating span of his shoulders. “You’ll protect my little girl?” She asks. Before you can protest that you’re not her little anything any more, Ivar nods. 

“With my life.” He vows. 

You’ll come to wish he’d never said that.

(That bit about Ivar being stuck certain places was partly inspired by the post about Jesus still saving everyone even after seeing some guy ‘busting rope to Waluigi hentai... if you haven’t seen that one, it’s gold.)

Tagging (open): @tis-itheapplepie @pixievampira @demonhunter1616 @hexqueensupreme @thorins-queen-of-erebor @grippleback-galaxy​ @readsalot73​ @glassythoughts @youbloodymadgenius

[goth-bunny]

I’ve been losing my mind over the hints at Bloodhound’s backstory that it’s unreal. So I wrote a lengthy blog entry about it. It’s at 1,711 words under the Read More.

(If you see this post on @bloodhound-and-jackrabbit, don’t worry, that’s my sideblog!)

Alright. Anyone who knows me, within the Apex fandom and outside of it too, knows that I am in love with Bloodhound. The season 3 launch is killing me! But don’t worry! I only have good things to talk about it!

 A bit of a background: I was into playing Overwatch from late October 2018 to May 2019 thanks to my ex. But it wasn’t until I saw someone tweet about a new video game franchise having a canonically nonbinary character. Unfortunately, I felt like the genre wouldn’t be my cup of tea as I have minimal experience with battle royales, let alone FPS. The teaser trailer did manage to convince me otherwise with its diverse cast of characters, fast pacing, and killer song choice. I didn’t pick up the game until the end of February, which was a few days after my ex dumped me. I needed a distraction from it; so hell, why not play that hot new game?

 I launch the game and don’t think too much, selecting the Tutorial mode, because of course, it’s a brand new game with different controls and mechanics from Overwatch. Imagine my surprise that I see the very Legend who’s piqued my interest in the series in the first place! After the Tutorial, I try the regular Play mode and got matched up with someone playing as Mirage. Unfortunately, I wasn’t doing so well, and I was nervous about speaking on mic at the time as I sound too feminine to be read as androgynous. I don’t remember much besides dying in a skirmish and being unable to use ziplines as they weren’t a part of the tutorial. After that match, I spent the remaining time checking out Bloodhound in the Legends gallery. What stood out the most for me were their quips or voicelines; a lot of them were very comforting for me to hear, especially in a low point of my life.

 Weeks later, I was still talking to my ex, but it was clear that things were completely different than before. I played Overwatch without him anyway, but it wasn’t the same. I was still unable to come to terms that I do have somewhat of a crush on Bloodhound until early June; I had a dream that the two of us were alone in the woods, and they found it safe to take off their helmet and mask around me. They revealed themself as an androgynous black person with short, curly red hair, and I kissed them on the cheek. Two more dreams would succeed that:  one where we were both dressed in black and red suits on a date, and the other one was…it ended up being not safe for work, to say the least. These all lead me to formulating a self-insert fanfic, and then finally giving Apex a second chance just so I can figure out the lore and feel of the game. Initially, if I have not gotten into Overwatch, I wouldn’t have considered playing Apex Legends even if I learned there was a nonbinary character.

 Within the past 3 months, Bloodhound has been a comforting character for me. They were absolutely relatable to someone like me; besides the fact that they’re nonbinary, they also happened to be a pagan with an affinity for birds, sharp objects, and mortality.

 The main catalyst for writing this post is the season 3 launch. Last week, when the launch trailer debuted, I lost sleep over seeing Bloodhound sharpening their handy hunting knife with a whetstone as they’re surrounded by numerous candles in their dropship room. The very scene made me fall even harder with them, as I too have always loved candles, and even more so when I started identifying as a pagan since last year. However, it was the season launch itself that made me even more anxious.

 During the past 3 months I’ve immersed myself into the fandom, I’ve come up with multiple headcanons for Bloodhound, a great portion of them never having been published here on Tumblr or discussed publicly, the most notable being their backstory: I’ve figured that Bloodhound would have an Afro-Latina/Filipina biological mother (Nimfa Vilhjalmsdottir) who remarried to a white man named Sigurdur (Sigurdur Steinnson), thus Bloodhound ending up with a meathead stepbrother named Albert. The parents had a military background, and they all lived on a planet with a high population of humans of Icelandic or Nordic descent. As a kid, Bloodhound was kind of an oddball, preferring to spend lengthy periods of time outdoors and exploring the woods or reading books about fantasy and adventure. One time, little Bloodhound was flocked by an unkindess of ravens, much to their parents’ concern. As they grew older, they became more and more visibly uncomfortable with their birth gender, and their stepfather’s pressure on them to join the military. As Bloodhound turned 18, the tension between them and their stepfather grew, thus prompting them ran away from home and join a group of ragtag freedom fighters dedicated to preserving the Frontier lands from militarization and imperialism. Eventually, Bloodhound would end up knocking at death’s door in the middle of the woods after a young Anita Williams snipes them from a distance. This would be a turning point in their life, where they’d meet the Allfather and promise to be devoted to him. Coming back to the mortal realm, Bloodhound sees that their group has lost the battle, and decided to go into hiding, hopping from planet to planet to run away from their past.

 However, it was teased that Bloodhound’s parents are named Johann and Brigida, and that they’re probably both scientists and not war veterans. Not disapproving or judgmental of their child’s gender of interests, as far as the loading screen with Johann’s letter to Brigida suggests. I would be fine with this, but it opens up a new can of worms for me.

Before I point what these potential worms would be, let me remind you that the new season dropped at the same time I had my psychiatrist appointment where I finally brought my mom over to talk with her about me, thus revealing that what I originally speculated was completely wrong.

Okay, here’s the can of worms: Johann and Brigida, and Artur to an extent, are very “white” sounding names. I would be lying if I denied that I didn’t speculate Bloodhound as a white person during the first few weeks after the game’s release. If the races of Bloodhound and their relatives were revealed to be all white, I’m worried that it’s going to cement the falsehood of Vikings or Norse pagans as being exclusively white, which was not the case in reality. I’m worried that Bloodhound being revealed as explicitly white would mean that they would be co-opted as white supremacist symbol because a sizeable amount of neo-Nazis/white supremacists/bigots practice Norse Paganism (which I learned the hard way a few weeks back).

Another concern would be Bloodhound getting a face reveal, which would undermine a lot of fans’ headcanons for them, mine included.  The headcanons are as diverse as the Apex Legends cast itself and a lot of heart and soul have been poured out into them, so catastrophe is inevitable if the official unmasked!Bloodhound face will be revealed.

 On the bright side, there are some things I hope will be executed instead of my worries. Bloodhound and their relatives are never portrayed explicitly, and are instead, shown as silhouettes, in addition to them never getting their face shown even when they have removed their helmet and mask. Another thing that would be nice to see is that they’d be ambiguously brown; Bloodhound being ambiguously brown would help break many stereotypes about them as a person, one of which is that one has to be white to be a Norse pagan, which is an open practice, anyway, and that Vikings have traveled across the globe and intermingled with different civilizations, meaning that a white viking homogeneity is racist and historically inaccurate. Besides, names like Johann, Artur, and Brigida can be just as white a name as Elizabeth Harris (that’s Cupcakke the rapper’s real name by the way!). It would also be a relief if the writers pull a Riley Cavanaugh and never hint at Bloodhound’s birth gender and keep them as androgynous as possible.

It’s also been speculated that Johann and Artur are Icelandic, and that Brigida is Italian, meaning that Bloodhound is potentially mixed-race. Let’s not forget that Apex Legends takes place in the 28th century, and people of all races are in space. Sure, there’s space ableism and imperialism, and to an extent, transphobia, but it would be unrealistic for racial homogeny to still exist.

 Bloodhound has been a great source of comfort for me these past few months. I see so much of myself in them: besides being nonbinary, I’m also a pagan who venerates a psychopomp, love books and birds, introverted but sympathetic of others, and unashamed of my identity. I’ve seen my confidence spike upwards, knowing that a person like them exists. That I am much more than my weaknesses and how people perceive me. That I still have so much to live for. That I am not alone.

 Before I end, I’m actually glad that Bloodhound grew up with a loving and accepting family, and thus destroying what projection of my hurt I have on them; I assumed that my mom would be immensely disappointed in me being nonbinary and bi, so I wanted someone who would be going through the same predicament as me, so that there’ll be some common ground. But it seems we do have enough common ground, having scientist parents who moved to a different place from my place of birth. Last August, my psychiatrist asked me how can I be a happy nonbinary person, in a world that sees everything in a male/female dichotomy? Perhaps I’ve found my answer in the form of Bloodhound.

 If you have reached this paragraph, thank you so much for taking the time to read my post in its entirety. I just want to get my feelings off my chest, as Bloodhound has been very important to me.

 Have you any questions or reactions, please feel free to message me!