#anywayssssss i'm rambling again so i'll just add the tags and leave

[loserboyfriendrjl]

"do we still love each other?" james asked, and it felt like the answer he might receive would crush him. he and lily were lying in bed next to each other, and he had just come home from a mission, bloody and bruised and, despite he would never admit it, barely alive.

ever since he had found out that lily would have their child, he had taken as many missions as possible in order to protect her, in order to shelter them from what could happen.

however, there was no way he could hide the ache in his heart. they had seen each other less and less the past days, days when they hadn't seen each other at all. it wasn't that james didn't love lily anymore; he did, and his heart was heavy with the love he carried for her. what about the way she felt, though?

"of course, james," lily whispered, and he knew she was sure of it; he knew it was the truth.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

dorcas realising they like marlene while watching her making out with another person

"are you okay, cas?" evan asked, looking at dorcas with a huge grin. "what happened, love? too stunned to speak? cat got your tongue?"

dorcas wondered what exactly made her decide that going to the gryffindor tower, to mckinnon's birthday party, was a good idea. now, their drink was spilled all over the floor (had she crushed it in her fist?), and their eyes were fixed on her, sitting in the lap of a hufflepuff girl they had only seen in passing.

mckinnon, sitting on the lap of a hufflepuff girl.

making out with her.

"fuck off, evan," they said through gritted teeth.

maybe she should have stayed in the common room with regulus. they could have read together, done some homework (which included regulus helping her with arithmancy), smoked some cigarettes (regulus had the habit of serving himself from dorcas' whenever he felt like it).

in other words, they could have done anything but attend the party.

and it wasn't like dorcas liked mckinnon. they hated her, loathed her, despised her to every atom. they hated her blonde mullet, her hazel, black-rimmed eyes, her stupid face and plump lips.

yet what was the ache in her chest when she saw mckinnon with that girl? what was hurt that she felt? why did she want to be in the hufflepuff girl's place?—

oh.

oh shit.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

"morning, love," sirius said in remus' ear, an obvious smile in his voice. "it's ten in the bloody morning already."

last night had been the first day in their new apartment. everyone had come (besides mary, of course, but they had plenty of alcohol to make up for her), beinging trinkets and knick-knacks to fill their apartment to the brim.

of course, it was the shittiest and cheapest thing they could find. they didn't need something grand and expensive, bearing in mind the fact that their plans for their future together were not in london.

the kitchen was minuscule, the tiles of the bathroom seemed to be about one hundred years old (sirius said it as a joke, but they weren't sure they were joking anymore), and the curtains in their bedroom were so thin, the sun peeked through them (they had to change them, clearly; sirius was the kind of person who could sleep best in complete darkness).

but did that matter, if it was their place? if they would wake up in the same bed and eat on the shitty metal chairs in their kitchen? did that matter if they slept under the same thin blanket and if they watched the same telly? did that matter when, even in the darkest times of war, they had managed to bring their friends together again, even if for one night?

did it matter if, even if just for one night, they felt normal again? they felt like they were in love, asode the war, aside the frequent fight and aside the time slipping through their fingers so quickly, until there was nothing left for them?

did it matter, when they felt like they were in love again?