#aot x reader canon verse

[coveholdenmyluv]

R. Braun - Honey Soaked Promises

synopsis. In which you reminisce on your quest for revenge, irrigated with broken promises and fermented with betrayal, allowing you to act as the judge between life or death for yourself and the viper dressed in the skin of the love of your life.

— or alternatively, in which you make the stupid decision to fall in love with the wrong person on your journey to freedom...

Oh well, you'll just have to kill him now.

series masterlist

chapter warnings. slight manga/ending spoilers, foreshadowing, fluff

chapter synopsis. During your very first look into your past, you plan your escape from your personal hell with Stefan and Cielo. Was that your biggest mistake yet?

I| Trepidation. 10.5k words.

"You ain't gonna die, you sappy girl, I won't let him harm you both. I promise, no bullets will be goin' into either of your heads."

Oh, Stefan. He always keeps his promises… Can you?

Honey; such a sweet and savory essence. Seemingly everlasting on the tongue, for even if doused in a reservoir, the stubborn residuum remains.

Honey is entirely what you descried, from the age of ten to however much longer the gods above will allow your heart to beat. It's all you ever saw and all you ever want to see; you realize.

Honey is what you see right now. His eyes, albeit drained and tainted with Titan marks, stare directly into your own. They beg and plead for you to save yourself, for he could not bear to let the sole person that kept him from ending his own life, depart from this cruel world. Because as cruel and bloodcurdling as it may be, the world can be beautiful and altruistic. He's seen it himself. And he knows, he can feel that all the war and carnage will soon come to an end. Scars, emotional and physical, will remain but allow for mending and tranquility. He wants that, yearns to finally conclude the great torment that he's endured since childhood but more than anything, he wishes that for you.

He wants you to let go, and the irony isn't lost in him as he recalls the fact of how laboriously he prayed for anything but that, just four years in the past. He knows that you haven't had the courage to, that you've held onto every memory, every feeling and every touch you've shared with each other, no matter how hard you tried for the opposite. He knows because he too has clutched them just as close. The only difference was that unlike yourself, he never once attempted or even wanted to forget.

So as you hang upside down, with one hand grasping his tighter than ever before, your fingers reminiscent of interlacing threads of fate. Your tresses falling into view and drifting in every which direction the wind sways it, and the wire that tethers you to the enormous bones that assemble Eren Jaeger's final Titan, straining. You realize that you're being given a choice.

Will you let go of the only man you've ever truly loved? That man that has been the core cause of the vast anguish that has plagued not only your life but the lives of those you adore dearly and leave a place for inside of your heart. The man with cavernous honeysuckle pools for eyes and short but soft sandy blonde strands of hair. The only man you've ever kissed.

The only man you ever want to kiss.

Or will you let yourself fall with him? Fall into the depths of you don't even know what it is that you'd fall into; all you know is that you'd be falling with him. Sink into his arms before the angel of death embraced you both just as tightly.

Will you let go or will you fall with him?

But before you make that choice, let's take a look at the journey that has lead you to this very moment, shall we?

Year 845, The Underground City. 

The second underground city located within the interior of Wall Maria, or more specifically, beneath. A crowded old city where the rats laid, never to catch sight of or feel the burn of the suns rays or the fresh breeze carding through their hair. Buildings stacked upon buildings and the only source of light being fire, whether originating from lanterns or arbitrary flames ensued by citizens in their fits of rage.

You could've considered it a tight knit community wherein everyone knew of everyone. Some would greet in passing and some simply wouldn't. It was not abnormal to see brawls on the cobblestone streets, it's not as if anyone was there to put a stop to them.

Otherwise, known as home.

Being so close to the outer wall and underground seemed to have deemed the population a lost cause in the eyes of authority, if any, in the underground.

You couldn't have fretted over that fact too much. It's what had allowed you to live as long as you did, in the absence of parental figures. The only person that even came close to a caregiver, was Stefan.

Twelve year old Stefan, whose face was embellished with radiant forest green pearls and shaggy, dirty blonde hair that caressed his forehead. He too was in the absence of parental guidance and resorted to taking the burden upon himself.

The burden of raising six year old, Cielo. A pale skinned boy with a small button nose, deep mercury eyes, and equally as dark hair that was a black bordering blue.

Along with ten year old you. With short, blunt, H/C hair that had barely reached the lobes of your ears. The older boy had the idea of sustaining your short length due to the hassle that maintaining proper care for your soft tufts, came with for everyone involved, considering your living situation. Every month there was to be a day dedicated to Stefan, being the only one trusted, to wield his blade and put it to proper use on all three of you.

That is where your story began. In the abandoned building you used as a safeguard for as early as you could remember. Sat in an old and creepy wooden chair that Cielo had spotted on the outskirts, not too long before that day. A makeshift mirror was before you, consisting of jagged pieces of broken glass that Stefan had somehow assembled. How he always managed to scavenge a way to make things work in your favor was beyond you.

No matter the situation, Stefan had a solution. You wished to any unknown god, if there was one, that you in some way or shape or form had taken after him. That Cielo had seen you even in the slightest light, the same as you had gazed at Stefan.

"Why're you starin' at me, ya creep?" Came Stefan's silken but teasing voice. The corner of his lips was upturned to convey his failure in masking his amusement.

His question had effectively pulled you from your dream like stare. You wondered how he even knew of your unwavering eyes, for he hadn't given you a spare glance. "'M not staring at you, I was looking at the terrible job you're doing today." You had lied, obviously, all the while hastily shifting your head towards the ground in an effort to hide your embarrassment of being caught in the act of exactly what you had denied.

A loud hiss came from behind you, presumably emitted by the blonde, "I told ya not to move, idiot!" He exclaimed as he crouched on the ground and clutched his palm to his chest.

The millisecond his knees hit the cold ground, you were beside him in a panic, "Shit, I'm so sorry Stef! I swear, I didn't mean to! Do you need me to grab something to clean you off-" A muffled snort cut your hysteria short. You hadn't previously paid it heed but his body was shaking from the struggle to retain his quiet giggles.

He was fucking with you.

"I hate you." -you didn't mean that.

"You don't mean that," He stated as he lifted his head and allowed you to see how flushed his cheeks had grown from the strain he endured in order to fool you. "That should teach you to stay still while I have a knife in my hand."

"Whatever. Are ya done, or are you gonna take another two hundred years ruining my hair?"

He stood and mussed your head, causing your hair to grow more tortuous than it had already been from the way he had repeatedly combed his slender fingers through it during the chopping process. "Perfection takes time, and I think I'm as perfect as it gets when comin' to making you look like a little boy. But yes, I'm done." He satirized.

Mimicking his signature accent, you quipped, "Gee thanks, ya want me ta get Ciel' now or are ya gonna let the poor fella sleep in a while longer?" You pointed a small finger to the petite boy snoozing in the corner of the room. He was leaned against the wall with Stefan's jacket thrown over his form for comfort. Finding the abandoned building and being allowed to stay was a miracle in of itself, so you never fretted over not owning any sort of bed or bedding.

"Nah, if I don't wake him now he won't want to sleep through the night. Why don't cha' go and see if you can snag us some dinner? Anythin' will do for today, s'long we eat somethin'." He said, ignoring your attempt at mocking him in favor of gliding over to the boy in topic.

"Kay, I'll be back in a bit. I'll see if I can get us some bread this time!" You exclaimed, already having the door swung open.

"You be careful now. If your bum ain't back in twenty, I'll drag you back m'self." He warned as he referred to your habit of conjuring trouble with, anyone really. Well, more trouble than thieving already placed you in.

"Alright, promise I'll be careful." You reassured as you waltzed out into the street and shut the door.

You began your journey into the center of the city, not too far from home, pulling your brown hood over your head. Stefan had encountered the sweater somewhere, when he was on a previous supply run. It hung off your body too loosely then, but you had begun to fill it well.

From the minuscule amount of memories you had gathered at that point in your life, you concluded that Stefan and you had found each other when you were about Cielo's age; just a year younger and Stefan two years older.

He had lived with his dad before he was murdered by Military Police once they found him attempting to escape to the surface. Why the military police were roaming the city was unknown to you at the time, but they'd always seemed to show themselves when they were needed the least. Stefan's father never planned on taking him along, he planned on leaving his seven year old son to rot whilst he got to live out his fantasies. You couldn't recall Stefan ever speaking about it. The only words he would utter were 'good riddance', but you knew it affected him more than he led on. You'd caught him crying on some nights, and unfortunately there wasn't much you thought you could do. So you simply allowed him to hold you while you pretended you were still asleep.

Two years after you two had decided to stick together, three year old Cielo had quite literally ran into you both as you were on your way back home from gathering dinner. He was wailing hysterically and frantically pointed to the small building he had called home.

You had seen him in passing before, and while he always stuck close to his mother, he never failed to wave back at you two. When you arrived at his home, you had already guessed what you would find before you even opened the door. The air reeked of death, more than usual, and you wondered just how long little Cielo had endured living with a dead mother. It was a miracle he hadn't caught whatever it was that had stolen her life but that never mattered to the small boy. His sweet mother was gone and didn't seem to ever be returning.

He moved in that day and while he had always been the quiet type, after that incident he hadn't uttered a single word. You had longed for the day he would allow you to hear his soft voice again, and it pained both you and Stefan that he had to experience such trauma so young.

That wasn't to say he was all gloomy either. The boy would still be seen smiling and if you looked real close, at times you swore you could see a teasing grin on his face when he'd done something mischievous, like hiding Stefan's shoes.

They were all you knew. You had no memory of any parent or family. All you could recall was wandering alone until you had found Stefan. He had insisted you pick out your own name.

You formed your own found family. Stefan was the reliable oldest child, you were the curious one that had no qualms with starting or ending fights with the people that aimed to wrong you or the boys, and Cielo was the baby brother who stuck to you two like glue.

You were content... mostly. Theonly addition you could've thought to wish for was-

Sharp chirping had snapped you out of your stupor. Letting your ears guide your irises, you noticed a tiny winged friend had been trying to garner your attention.

Brows furrowing, you thought to yourself, 'What's a bird doing here in the underground?'

Squatting to the ground, you reached a hesitant hand out to the young animal. It didn't cower in fear, so in return, you didn't withdraw. You can still remember how velvety their feathers had felt on the pads of your fingers. Placing it onto your palm, you noticed it was missing a leg, the singular one twitching in your hand. Nothing seemed wrong with the wings so you had wondered why it didn't make use of them to flee.

You knew that if you had attained wings, you would have escaped your pit of hell and never looked back.

That was a lie. You'd do so, but only to procure a certain pair of boys.

"What's wrong, hun?" You spoke gently, "You don't seem afraid, so why don't I take you back with me? Show you to Ciel, I bet he'd like that." You grinned softly.

The bird made no objections, so you placed your new friend in the confines of your pocket, made sure they didn't suffocate and quickly continued your way to the center of the city where the stalls had stood. To any other person who had walked by, it looked as though you were simply taking a leisurely stroll. What they had failed to realize was that you had swiftly swiped a couple of stale loafs of bread, along with a few apples.

What you had failed to realize was that you had done that far too many times for the stall runners not to be familiar with your game of 'catch me if you can'.

"Don't try to be sneaky kid, I saw that! You better be planning on paying for those!" The man hollered.

You took that as your cue to book it before he could've begun to chase you.

Once you had arrived at your home and entered the building, you saw Cielo perched on the seat you had previously occupied. Stefan's jacket was still wrapped around his form, and his eyes were droopy as if he still hadn't fully awoken.

"Back so soon? Aw, did'ja miss me that bad?" Stefan had drawled from behind the ravenette.

"Stef, shut it for once and look!" You squealed as you bounded up to the two boys, hand retrieving the animal that rested in your sweater pocket.

"The hell is that?"

"A bird, you idiot. I found it on my way to get dinner!" Your statement had piqued Cielo's interest and caused him to hop off the chair to take a look into your hand.

Gesturing dubiously to the animal in your palm, Stefan conveyed his thoughts, "Y'know, when I said dinner... I meant somethin' we didn't have'ta cook, right?"

Eyeing the sharp weapon in his grasp that he had gestured with, you scolded, "Careful with that, Stefanie," you teased him with the nickname you knew he hated, "and don't be stupid, I brought bread and apples for dinner." You retorted.

"Ew, don't call me that, you nuisance."

"Look, Ciel. It's a baby bird. Tiny, just like you." You told the boy as you brought it to his eye level with one hand and booped his nose with the other.

Cielo's eyes had sparkled like a million different crystals as he took in the appearance of a bird. He had firstly admired the feathers and beak, hesitatingly reaching a small finger to its head, allowing it to slide down the slope as silk morphed into the bill. As they made contact, Cielo's eyes had begun to grow misty and his lower lip trembled.

Alarmed, you retracted the animal from his sight and begun to panic, "What's wrong, Ciel? Why're you crying? Did it hurt your finger? Let me see." You said and hastily grabbed his finger to inspect.

"Great, now ya made baby Ciel cry. Nice goin', N/N." Stefan scolded lightheartedly. It was quite obvious to him why Cielo had begun to cry but he could tell that you hadn't caught on just yet.

Turning to glance at the blonde, you defended yourself, "I-I didn't mean to, I swear it!" Focusing your attention back onto the boy before you, you offered, "I'll take the thing out if that's what you want, Ciel. I promise."

The child simply shook his head quickly and rapidly blinked in an attempt to dispel his tears. It didn't work. He reached for the bird and cradled it in his small hands, gazing at it with a fond smile as brand new tears dribbled down his chubby cheeks.

Stefan knelt beside him and placed a hand atop his shoulder, "I don't think those tears mean what ya think they do, N/N." he uttered.

"Hm? Why else would he be crying?" You inquired.

"My guess? They're happy tears." He explained, a soft smile peeking at the main attraction in the younger boys hands.

"Happy... tears?" You repeated, the words had felt foreign as they slipped off of your tongue.

"Mhm, now I wonder why such a free thing like this one would show up here of all places. 'S it hurt?" He asked and you shook your head in response. "Hm, weird. I reckon this lil' guy is yearnin' to go on home. Out onto the surface, that is." He stated as he stood back up.

Cielo's eyes had widened dramatically and he placed the bird gently back into your hold. Latching onto the taller boys sleeve, he had begun to hop frantically.

"Nuh-uh, I know what yer tryna say and the answer is and will always be, no. We're not goin' to the surface, baby Ciel." Stefan said sternly, his head only furthered his point as he shook it.

"The surface? You want to go to the surface, Ciel?" You'd beamed, heart accelerating at the mere thought. The boy bobbed his head enthusiastically as the twinkle in his eyes grew so intense, you almost shielded your own at the sight. His smile had been huge and scintillating.

You remembered that you had asked yourself, 'Is this what the people on the surface feel when they look at the sun?'

"Y'knowhow I feel about that, Y/N, don't ya dare encourage him." Stefan reminded and you knew immediately what he referred to.

It wasn't that Stefan hadn't dreamt of journeying to the land above, everyone down there did. The difference with Stefan, was that that dream was forever tainted by the mistakes of his father.

"You know, I heard about some people from the first underground city that escaped and got to the surface. Apparently they joined the military or something? Anyway, I bet they're enjoying the sun right now." You informed him softly, before you gently nudged your shoulder with his and continued, "Planting flowers?" You said pointedly, knowing the boys fascination with the blossoms.

In the scarce amount of books you were able to acquire, the way in which Stefan's eyes would linger and brighten when you read or admired pictures of anything floral, never escaped you. He was nowhere near an expert on chrysanthemums, dahlias or anything of the like but that didn't mean his enchantment was any less impassioned.

"Oh yeah? Good for them. Unfortunately, we aren't as lucky. As much fun as that sounds, it's way too risky. If the bird doesn't go back on its own, then I'm afraid it'll have to stay with us for the time bein'. "

Cielo's eyes grew with worry and he gestured to the animal still in your hands. "Ciel is right, it'll die down here, Stef!" You pleaded.

You had never actually believed that it would, it was simply an excuse to allow Stefan to spare another thought about venturing outside. You knew that, Cielo knew that, and Stefan knew that. Still, as weak as the excuse was, it was enough to force the boy to ponder.

"Even if we would, how would we even do such a thing?" He asked exasperatedly. As much as he had loathed the idea, that didn't mean he didn't want to step foot on the surface. He had wished for it more than anything. Dead father be damned, his heart yearned to take you both to see the sun set and the moon light the sky.

"The supply carts! They always come around midnight, and once they arrive, the guards switch shifts. Maybe we can find an opening and hitch a ride out of here!"

"That sounds way too easy. I'm sure the guards expect people to do exactly that, so I doubt they'd be so lenient. They probably double check the carts for stowaways." He explained as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Except, the guards that work the supply carts are the same ones that have run them for years. No one has escaped since I can remember, everyone has given up. Those guards are lazy and hate their jobs, I doubt they properly double check. But even if they did, we could bring something to cover ourselves with. It's a foul proof plan Stef, c'mon!"

It wasn't a foul proof plan. It was full of flaws and risks. Anyone with a right mind in their head could tell so. But you were a kid, so that fact was lost on you. And unfortunately for the three of you, Stefan was also a kid. No matter how wise the boy may have been, Stefan was twelve years old. A traumatized little boy with a grand amount of baggage on his shoulders and a curious heart in his chest. So the mere possibility of escaping his very own prison, blinded him of the fact that maybe it wasn't such a good idea, but instead, a life altering cataclysm.

Curiosity killed the cat.

The blanket of silence fell over you three, uncomfortably- for different reasons. It felt uncomfortable for you and Cielo because you could almost see the way Stefan's mind had gone haywire as he mulled over your proposition. It felt uncomfortable for Stefan, because now that the excuse of escaping had presented itself, he felt even more trapped than before. Restricted in his own body.

"...We're gonna need a big blanket."

That night was a rare one, where the citizens of the underground gathered and celebrated. What is it that they had celebrated? You never knew. In all honesty, the gathering was most likely a made up bash by your people, to give each other something to look forward to. You never minded, of course. Those nights were usually in such disorder that the three of you wound up taking from stalls that were left unattended or gambling on the outcome of random fights that would unravel. It was nights like those that you were blessed enough to witness humans in their intended nature. You gazed at more smiles than any other nights combined.

Contradictorily, that night, you used the commotion as a distraction to board the carts that went up and down the entrance of the city. Stefan had miraculously acquired a blanket that was made up of stitched together cloths, to be used as a cover. The carts had arrived at midnight, as usual, and took a couple of hours to unload. It was almost daybreak which meant that the carts were to soon take off.

Stefan and Cielo were given the task of watching your six as you proceeded with your mission of initiating a distraction. In addition to the cover, Stefan had also gotten his hands on a sweater that he designated to Cielo. It had oversized pocket holes with the intention of allowing your bird to stay hidden within the journey.

After you detected Stefan's signal, informing you that the carts were good to go, you took action.

The center of the city was fully crowded with people idly standing and chatting, sitting and eating and others aimlessly exploring. You had waltzed up to a stall cluttered with buyers, inconspicuously slipping through the groups. As you drew closer, your nose gradually caught an indescribable and inescapable essence that it had never before encountered. There were so many things unknown to you during that stage of your life, countless questions unanswered, but the second you caught a whiff of that stubborn scent, it was the only thing your mind knew.

You were sure it was something that could've only been sold on nights like those and even then, most citizens wouldn't have been able to afford the enigma. The shorter the distance between your body and the stall supplying your hyper-fixation, the stronger it gripped your lungs. It engulfed you, suffocated you in a way you found that you didn't mind.

Addicting.

You stuck close to the man in front of you who was leisurely strolling by. In one swift motion, you swiped two bottles of the sweet nectar you became enamored with and gently placed one inside of the man's pocket, doing the same to the other one for yourself. Then, came the easy part.

Drawing in a large breath of air, you yelled at the top of your lungs, "Ooh, he's stealing! He's selling the sweet stuff this guy is selling!"

Simultaneously, gasps erupted from within the crowds and the man in charge of the stall had begun to berate the man that was accused. Standing his ground, the man didn't simply take the insults and begun to defend his honor.

It didn't take long for a brawl to break through with random people who weren't even involved, joining. You would've loved to stay and watch till the end but that was the exact opposite of your goal.

Fleeing in the direction of your escape route, a decent amount of men in Military Police uniforms had slipped by you in an effort to quell the commotion. You thanked your past self, of five minutes, for choosing a particularly sturdy man that could defend himself or else you would've felt poor for him.

You caught up to Stefan who held Cielo in his arms and began to sprint as fast as your short legs could take you. "Do you think that'll be enough?" You asked through a series of pants.

"Let's hope so." Stefan replied, equally as breathless.

The carts were near the entrance of the city so it was inevitable that the path towards it was slightly steep. Just as you had hoped, most of the guards had fled to aid in yielding the tussle that had enacted further into the settlement.

Without a word, Stefan aided Cielo in climbing into one of the front carts and then quickly hopped in after, cradling the boy to his chest. You joined them both, lifting one leg after the other but as you did so, your foot had gotten caught in one of the handles, creating a loud bang.

The sound was not monstrous enough that the citizens within the plaza would pay any heed but enough that if there were any guards near, the noise would not be disregard-able.

Unfortunately for you, there were.

The look Stefan had given you demanded of you to keep moving and get in.

Regardless of your anxiety sky rocketing, you leapt inside and placed yourself between one of the walls of the cart and Cielo. All of the carts had a slidable door, so with trembling hands, you slowly shut the top, enclosing the three of you into the tight space. Stefan had placed the blanket over your trio and clutched the sleeve of your sweater subconsciously. He was nervous, rightfully so, and so were you and Cielo.

Your slip up that had occurred just a couple of seconds before, had caused two of the soldiers that were set to keep guard to trek back towards the entrance to confirm that there were no problems. You heard each of their footsteps as they investigated but in the end, it had yielded nothing.

That was until the small bird in Cielo's pocket had begun to chirp, ear-piercing squeaks.

"The fuck is wrong with her?" Stefan had whispered harshly. You were surrounded by darkness so you never knew who exactly he was looking at, but you knew he was genuinely asking, the stress was what had brought the edge to his voice.

"I don't know. Cielo isn't smushing her or anything, she might be afraid of the dark?" You answered, and since none of you had any idea of what to do next, you simply awaited the moment she would settle.

A man, who you assumed was a guard, had slurred, "What's with the noise? 'S that a bird?" You could tell he had most likely helped himself to the cheap alcohol on the streets, the inebriation had been clear within his voice.

"I don't know, let me double check inside the carts and make sure we didn't trap one. Don't know what it'd be doing all the way down here though." Said another man, that one definitely had not slurred.

You heard the lids of other carts being slid open, one by one, and had begun to panic. Your heart beat could be heard pounding through your ears and though it was most probable just your imagination, you swore you heard two more rhythms beating in sync.

"Shit. They're gonna find us, we're so dead." You whispered to no one in particular.

"Let's just keep quiet and stay put. She's quieting down now, so hopefully he'll leave-" Stefan began, but came to a screeching halt when your cart lid began to part.

Light had entered through the sheet over you and allowed you to view the panicked expressions engraved into both of the boys before you. Cielo's mercury eyes were misted over and Stefan's emeralds were as wide as saucers. His hand was clutched into the pocket that you knew he had kept his blade in, and you begged with your own eyes to wait. Not yet. You still held onto hope that the man would overlook you and carry on.

But then the sheet draped atop your forms was slowly peeled away and you were met with a man that sported a dark head of hair, styled in an almost mullet and paired with an aspiring mustache and goatee. Your breath halted as your eyes met his, as if that would make you invisible.

He had slid his dark eyes to Stefan next, the boy only gradually slid his hand to clutch you protectively, effectively squishing the younger boy between you two, in the process.

His charcoal irises met Cielo next and you had seen them soften the slightest bit for the boy. He had his back to Stefan and was squeezing you for dear life. Dusky eyes glazed with fear, bottom lip quivering and the tiny bird one of his hands as he cradled it to his chest. His mouth ceaselessly shaping the word 'please' onto his lips.

The atmosphere was static for about ten seconds, each one torturous. Tendrils of fear creeped into your lungs, effectively cropping your quickened breaths that threatened to escape your throat as you awaited the fated reaction from the man who held a long gun in his right hand.

"Did'ya find it?" Slurred the other soldier once more. He seemed father in distance than the one you had a staring contest with. The soldier hesitated, mouth gaping and shutting repeatedly.

"...Yeah. It's just a bird, I'll dispose of it once we get back up." He announced and slid the top closed once again.

Not a single soul moved a muscle for a long minute after that and you were unsure if it was in disbelief or simply because you were all still scared shitless.

"...what the hell..." Stefan found the strength to whisper, his blonde hair mending with his forehead as it clung with the perspiration that had been caused by his nerves.

"He didn't snitch..." You whispered in astonishment.

"He didn't... we are some lucky sons of bitches, N/N. I hope you know that. Someone from beyond is lookin' out for us."

"Don't get your hopes up, we're not out of the forest yet. H-he might want to deal with us once we get to the surface. Let's just wait it out for now." You suggested, tremble clear within your voice.

"Right." He agreed, before you heard the shuffling of clothes and he continued, "You alright, baby Cielo?" He whispered softly to the child in his arms. You felt him nod his head lightly before burying it further into your chest.

The cart jerked suddenly before it began to move and up they proceeded, one by one. The organ nestled into your chest felt as though it had been replaced with a jackhammer.

"Oh my gosh, Stef- I'm so nervous." You informed him as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"I know, don't worry-"

"This is actually happening, what if he kills us-"

"I won't let him-"

"If he does end up putting a bullet in our heads, I want you to know that I love you."

"I- er. Well, really? I love you too-"

"You and Cielo are my family, I love you both more than anything-"

"We know, love.-"

"I'm a snide piece of shit sometimes, but I'm so sorry that I convinced you to do this-"

"No, you never-"

"I mean if you think about it, if I never found the bird that day, Cielo wouldn't have had the thought of escaping in his mind-"

Your adamant rambling had gotten caught in your throat as you felt your fingers being interlaced. Warm digits carded themselves through the gaps between your own, a gentle squeeze being pressed into your palm. In milliseconds, your mind was quelled and a soft exhale escaped your lips.

"I'm sorry." Your voice was barely audible.

"You have nothin' to be sorry bout." He reassured you as gently as he could. There was no hesitance or shake in his statement, he genuinely believed that fact.

"If we do die, I'm glad that the last thing I'll see, will probably be your faces." Although you were enveloped in darkness, you still allowed yourself to gift a soft smile in the vague direction of both boys.

"You ain't gonna die, you sappy girl, I won't let him harm you both. I promise, no bullets will be goin' into either of your heads."

"You can't promise that."

"I just did."

Stefan had a knack for leaving you speechless. "...thank you."

That sentiment was heavily reciprocated. "...shut up."

The entire ride took a whole ten minutes to complete, and since you had infiltrated a cart towards the front, it was one of the first to arrive.

Footsteps approaching rapidly reached your ears and then the cart lid was swung open. The blanket that shielded you from the world was thrown off of you and your eyes took their time to adjust to the altered lighting, but soon enough, you saw him. The same soldier from before, donning the tan jacket with the green stallion emblem plastered on his left chest pocket. The only difference was that he had his gun aimed directly at your trio.

His expression was intense and his body seemed rigid as he ordered, "Get out now. Run and don't look back. Get to a nearby city or village and don't tell anyone where you're from just yet. Wait a couple years to do so and never come back again." His brows met in the middle of his face as he further took in your appearances. "You guys are so small... what the hell? Where are your parents?!" He inquired.

"W-we're orphans." Stefan informed him and it surprised you that he had stuttered. It was then that you noticed he had already sat up and spread his arms to block both you and Cielo from the guns barrel.

"...go. You never met me, got it?"

"Yes, sir." You both replied in unison.

Stefan was the first to spring into action, hopping out of the cart and hoisting Cielo to his side promptly after. You wasted no time to follow and landed on the earth with a thud. Stefan didn't hesitate to take the soldier's advice, taking your hand in his left and Cielo in his right arm before breaking into a sprint in the first direction he turned to.

Your head had begun to pound, probably from the sun that had risen in the sky by then, and your lungs in-took as much oxygen as they could handle. Imagine your surprise when the air around you didn't taste stale and humid but instead as if you were drinking freshly fetched water. As you were running, the scenery encircling your form began to decelerate. Your eyes absorbed every defining detail that they could hold.

The glistening green grass, the scorching rays of sunlight that drew its claws into your skin, the prodigious trees in the distance. They seemed almost unnatural to you, with flowers blooming in between every leaf that protruded from within the ragged intwined branches.

Those leaves, they reminded you of Stefan's eyes.

The air felt significantly fuller out in the surface, it filled your nostrils and you found that there existed no scenario in which you could get enough. Your lips parted in your heaving and whether that was in result of your physical strain or your enchantment with the ventilation didn't matter. You felt as though you had taken your first sip of water in the midst of a drought.

You vision began to turn blurry. A side effect from the difference in environment, perhaps? No. Your eyes were wet with the tears dribbling down your face before you could even register their presence. But you weren't sad- no, anything but that. Those tears had felt amazing, as if they held the key that liberated your soul.

'So, these are happy tears?'

You craved for more.

And then a flash of blue entered your peripheral. It was different from the one that had painted the canvas above you.

Sapphire blue wings, but they were not alike the small bird that was cradled into Cielo's chest. Those wings lacked feathers and looked smooth to the touch. It crossed your mind that it had to be an insect, being that it was smaller than any bird you had read about. It swayed with the wind and was what you could only describe as beautiful with the beauty that left its mark on the mind of every and any being that had the blessing of gazing upon it.

It soared and it fluttered, and you found yourself wishing to be even the slightest bit as ethereal and unrestricted as that small being had been.

"Wow... so this is the surface..." You uttered in the most lightest voice that Stefan had ever heard.

He directed his head towards you, hand still grasping your own, with the intention of stealing a quick glance. He really should've known better. It was never only a quick glance when it came to you. Inevitably, he found himself with the compulsion of the inability to detach his irises from your delicate face.

That smile was the most irradiant and prodigious he had ever seen dance across your lips. You were crying, but he knew it was not a matter of pain. How could it be, when your eyes whispered a completely different synopsis?

You were gazing through the expanse field and his heart hurled him through a flurry of individual emotions in a matter of seconds.

Bliss, excitement, contentment and love.

He adored your expression so much so, it forced him to have sought out what it was that had driven you to that high you were riding. And then he saw it too, every detail sunk into his hippocampus just as they did in yours. The glistening green grass, the scorching rays of sunlight that drew its claws into his skin, and the almost unnatural prodigious trees in the distance with flowers blooming in between every leaf that protruded from within the ragged intwined branches. And the butterfly.

'Oh, that butterfly.' His voice cooed within the confines of his own mind.

It was the second most beautiful thing he had laid his eyes upon, and seeing it so carefree and selfish allowed himself to picture his youngest self finally breaking the bars that made up the cage he enclosed himself in, deep in the pits of his soul. He too found his eyesight becoming blurry.

Those mesmerizing green eyes grew glassy, reflecting his most favorite scenery.

He directed his attention towards the boy in his arms, there sat the first most beautiful sight the world had offered him. Cielo's smile.

Cielo's gigantic grin that enveloped his face, only being rivaled by your own. Both of those expressions he had appointed as the most paradisical he had ever seen, and he had gazed upon them one after the other in a span of seconds.

Then you both had stared at Cielo. Baby Cielo's face that radiated bliss. His dark hair had gotten messier by the second with the wind carding its delicate fingers through his fluffy locks, caressing every crevice of his face, every nook and cranny. The sunshine bouncing off of his pale skin and making it seem as if he was glowing. His once deep mercury eyes almost mimicking a navy blue, and you wondered if they had always been that color.

The small boy shifted those eyes to the even smaller bird that laid in his hands, lifting it into the air ever so slightly. The animal immediately responded with rapidly flapping its wings, an action that startled the boy, but had not thwarted his advance at lifting it up even higher, encouraging the bird to take off into the vast empyrean sky. And it did, effectively causing boyish giggles to erupt from within Cielo's lips as he had found his new favorite color.

And oh, he couldn't believe his eyes. There were clouds, so many of them. They looked so soft that he found himself wanting to touch them, lay in them, and wrap himself in the fluffy substance. His arms outstretched and he felt as though he had been so near; just a hop away and they'd meet his stubby fingers.

Stefan leaped, to Cielo's surprise. He wondered to himself if the older boy had mind powers or anything of the sort.

Nevertheless, his fingers never met the clouds but he couldn't care less. Not when he was so blissful. Not when both the people he adored most in the world were just an arms length away and had worn those enchanting expressions. And they were laughing, hypnotic sounds that he fell in love with because it was the very first time they had ever laughed like that. As he always had and always would, he followed their lead and joined in the giggle fit.

It'd been a beautiful seen really, full with contentment and carelessness.

You had run for about twenty minutes straight by the time Stefan had informed you about a settlement nearby that a friend from the underground had told him about. He told you it had not been too far from where you where at, so a short break would be fine. He placed Cielo gently onto the ground while you both caught your breaths. Your calf muscles burned and ached but for some reason, you didn't dislike that feeling paired with the blaze in your lungs. Running was fun to you. No one had spoken yet and the only sound that was heard was the in sync heaves both you and Stefan dealt.

Until Cielo burst into another hackle of giggles and began to race through the grassy field you stood upon. His little legs had taken him in a such a rush, you had begun to worry because it almost seemed as if-

...he fell face first onto the ground.

"Cielo!" Came both of your voices in unison.

But instead of the wailing you had expected, his cries of joy grew louder as he flipped onto his back and began to roll around on the grass.

Hesitantly you asked, "Cielo... what are you doing, love?" But he paid no heed and continued to cackle like a madman. Or boy. That was the closest you had gotten to hearing his actual voice, so you complained no further.

The boy then abruptly sat up and brushed his palms against the dewy blades of grass with a satisfied expression that spoke words worth a millennia. Dragging his gaze up towards his favorite people, he patted the empty spots beside him, encouraging you both to take them. Of course, you obliged without a second thought.

As you took the seat to his right and Stefan to his left, you mimicked Cielo's earlier actions and glided your small hands over the velvety blades. A thud came from next to you, emitted by Cielo throwing the rest of his body back onto the grass. It was only then that you realized what he wanted.

Something so simple yet so Cielo of him to want to do. He just wished to enjoy the moment with you. And so you too plopped yourself into the grass next to him, Stefan followed after. Twisting your neck to face both boys, you found something obstructing your view. It was dainty and dewy, much like the green blades encircling it, with purple petals that glistened and swayed with the breeze.

A flower.

It was only then that you noticed the abundance of them on the field you laid on. Each one a vibrant periwinkle shade. The sight caused you to flip onto your tummy and lay your head to rest on one of your arms, the other had reached out to caress the silky petals.

Unbeknownst to you, Stefan watched on with the most softest expression one could give another. One exuding adoration and love. He then quietly scanned the grass around him and plucked the first stray flower he found, taking a couple of seconds for himself to gaze at it admirably.

In one slow motion, he reached over Cielo's body and tucked away the short strands of hair behind your ears, any that were long enough at the time. Then, he gently placed the delicate flower right along with them, sitting back and admiring his work when the deed had been done.

The loving gesture wasn't lost on you and your eyes had quickly found themselves attempting to catch a glimpse at the fragile plant nestled behind your ear. After you realized that you wouldn't be able to, you opted to instead move your eyes to the older boy that was now within your range of vision. Green and purple would compliment each other beautifully, wouldn't they?

Plucking your own violet treasure from the ground beneath you, before you gifted it to the boy, you decided to place a sweet kiss atop the corolla. Since you had both sat up at the point, the nimble flowers journey to its rightful place behind his ear used little to no effort.

As you sat back and admired each others work, it was as though the sole reason they had sprouted was for that exact moment. Minds working in sync, you both looked to the boy between you who gazed back with a fond smile. In unison, you searched for another pair of blossoms before placing kisses atop the supple petals and tucking them both behind the younger boys' ears. Yours on the right and Stefan's on his left.

Once they had both been placed in their rightful places, you both drew back and glanced at Cielo's expression, surprisingly finding the fat of cheeks painted a baby pink.

Slowly, as your mind digested that fact, your felt your own warmth spread across the bridge of your nose, only stopping short of your ears.

As if having a domino effect, Stefan's skin followed directly after your own.

And so, you sat with warm cheeks and flowers behind your ears with the only two boys you had ever known, feeling as though you were the only three people who ever existed, heart feeling full at the thought.

But of course, gaining a taste of freedom always seemed to make one drunk with pleasure therefore craving for as much as they could get their greedy hands on. Give an addict an inch and they'll yearn for a mile.

So as the sun had set and you threw yourself back onto the ground after an intense game of tag, with your chests heaving and the flowers you took such care to place having long since fallen back onto the earth where they came from, the conversation that would soon become your core drive throughout your pre-teen and teenage years, began.

"What kind of flowers are these?" You asked, one hand twirling a stem in between your index and thumb and the other placed as a cushion behind your head.

Stefan had taken his time to answer and that alone was your first sign that something else had been roaming around his mind. "I'll tell ya, if you promise me somethin'." He responded, eyes piercing the sky.

"What is it?" You inquired, interest being piqued.

With a dreamy sigh, he announced the thought that had plagued his mind, "Promise that one day, we'll see what's beyond the walls."

The idea had baffled you at the time, since it had never once crossed your mind of going beyond the barriers that separated you from what was unknown. "What? Why would you wanna go beyond the walls?" You asked incredulously.

"Why wouldn't-cha? If we ever get the chance to, I wanna see what lays beyond them and then after that, I wanna see what lays beyond that and then what lays beyond even that."

Exhaling in your surprise, you continued, "You mean the titans? I know we've never seen one, but that doesn't mean they suddenly stopped existing. Did you forget why the walls are even there?" It was a genuine question as your mind couldn't even begin to comprehend asking for more than what you had then.

Stefan had always been a dreamer through and through. "Well o'course I haven't forgotten and I'm sure those titans are scary as hell. But, let's pretend they weren't there, wouldn't ya wanna see what the world you were born into has to offer? Yer birthright? Like, all of it? There just has to be more out there that we haven't even begun to imagine, what if this is just the beginnin'?"

"Well yeah, but I don't know. I don't really like change and I feel like that would change a lot." You responded hesitantly.

"We're experiencing change right now and you seem to be doin' just fine." He challenged.

"That's cause you're here."

Covering his face at the flush that ensued because of your statement, he chuckled, "And I'll be right there if and when that happens, both of us will." He gestured to himself and the young boy in between you two. "Nothin' could ever split us up. We'll be the wonder trio till the end." He assured.

Humming in thought, you answered, "...I guess that wouldn't be too bad then. I wonder what's out there." Your mind had begun to race with ideas, most of which consisted of greenery and the jewels you had seen in old tattered books. "Other than titans, of course."

"Guess we'll have to find out. So, promise?" He extended his pinky towards the both of you, knowing that although Cielo still hadn't uttered a word, he wouldn't hesitate to be included.

"You haven't even told me the name of the flower, Stef. I ain't stupid." You reminded lightheartedly.

He seemed to have genuinely forgotten the exchange you agreed upon, so you didn't fret too much, "Oh, right." He uttered before he tilted his head to glance at the flowers scattered around you. "Those are bellflowers. Though their scientific name is campanulas and they signify gratitude, humility, attractiveness, and everlasting love."

They also represent disappointment and foreshadowing events, though till this day, you didn't know if Stefan had known that fact and withheld that information from you or if he truly was clueless. And if he did know, why had he kept it from you?

Giggling like the naïve child you were, you interlocked both of your fingers and awaited the third to join. "Thanks Stef, I promise."

Instead of raising his pinky finger, Cielo had decided to grant you both what you had been secretly imploring for years. "I promise." Came the smallest voice ever spoken, followed by an even tinier digit placed between your own.

Your heart skipped a beat and you halted your breath as your body entered a temporary state of torpor. A moment of silence had followed and Cielo allowed it because he knew he needed to let the action sink into your brains. He allowed his voice to marinate.

"C-cielo! You- you used your voice!" You exclaimed, finally finding your own as you sprung your torso up from within the grass and gaped at the boy below you.

In response, he simply but smugly, nodded his head.

Stefan had sat up too but instead of voicing his excitement, his wide eyes stared at him in astonishment. You would think Cielo had invented time travel with the look Stefan had given him.

"Say my name next! Come on say it!" You demanded with avidity, hands clutched together as you leaned into the young boy.

He didn't budge, opting to smile complacently, both hands now behind his head for comfort.

Breaking out of his stupor, Stefan joined in the exchange with a smirk, "Ya can't just drop that on us and expect us not to nag' ya. Come on now Ciel, say our names."

He shook his head again and forced you to resign in your attempts. It had seemed Cielo wanted to take baby steps, and that was fine with you.

"Fine, but we'll get it out of you soon. Don't expect us to let it go anytime soon. That lovely voice of yours deserves to be heard, at the very least by us." You told him with a smile, punctuating your statement with a boop to his nose.

"Mmm, yer just bein sassy with us right now, aren'tcha? Fine then, once you move out of that stage yer in, you won't wanna stop flappin' those gums to me." Even though Stefan had said it tauntingly, you didn't miss the tone in his voice that indicated how wishful of that he was. Nevertheless, he laid himself back onto the ground and began to admire the sunset, one of his lifelong dreams.

As the sun set and you watched the moon light the sky, the three of you were yet again mesmerized by the sight of what looked to be a million lanterns endlessly flickering. Even though you knew it impossible, that didn't hinder your attempt at counting every single ball of light that you saw in the canvas of navy blue. Navy blue that mirrored both Cielo's eyes and hair. Whilst pointing at certain clumps that reminded you of shapes, you soon fell into a deep slumber, still on the ground because back pain be damned, sleeping under the stars was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Stefan had reassured you that village you planned on using as a safeguard would still be there the following day.

That night, in the form of a dream, you were shown what you assumed to be memories. To whom those memories belonged to, you weren't given a clue. All you knew was that you pitied the owner, for even the mere fraction of seconds that were bestowed upon you from which you lived through their eyes was much too heavy for your still fragile heart. Each and every snippet of the vague scenes that flashed before your eyes brought upon their very own powerful emotions. Each leaving you inundated, as if all the air had been stripped from your lungs.

A loose limb lied in a puddle of blood, dirt and cobblestone beneath it. Your cheeks had been soaked and throat sore, fingernails scratched at the ground as dirt collected underneath them and warm blood muddied on your fingertips.

The scent of a boy with disheveled light brown shaggy hair, as you rode atop a horse. Those same fingertips, now calloused, clutching the fabric he donned with a strength you'd never felt before. His welcoming aroma created a safe haven that flooded a sense of security into your chest. Despite the storm that brewed in your heart, caused by another reason unknown to you at the time, it allowed you to wrap yourself in a brief feeling of peace. That was a person with a heavy meaning in the owner's life.

Round and misty hazel eyes that seemingly reflected the world in them. Grief and despair showed themselves in wisps within their depths. The sight alone had caused your heart to sink and lip to quiver.

The one after was the most vivid, for it felt as though you could control your own movements. A sunset had doused the sky in a multitude of colors that ranged from blue, orange, red and gold; if you squinted well enough, you could see a splash of purple. Directly in front of you was what seemed to be a river, your socks discarded to the side and toes wet. There was a warm body sitting alongside you, mimicking your pose. Your cheeks had felt warm once again and you didn't know if the cause was the sun bath you experienced or something else entirely. All you knew was that you had felt prickles of bliss and tranquility within your own body, that was enough for you to yearn for just a moment longer within that headspace.

Then, soft pink lips invaded your mind in a fog. The faint taste of something sweet that you couldn't even begin to describe. Not when you were focused on steadying the rapid thumping within your chest. That had brought upon feelings that your mind couldn't even fathom existed.

A dainty white blossom that stood tall and healthy the first moment, only to appear broken and crumpled the next; cradled in one's palm. Your eyes had gotten glassier with each passing second as lachrymose had been thrusted upon you in that instant.

A gentle but strong woman with vibrant gold locks and crystal blue eyes that outshone even the jewels embedded within the crown placed atop her head. Pride is what your mind had whispered in your ears, only getting louder the longer you had stared at her. And then suddenly you were placed in front of an injured and dying man with tanned skin and mud colored hair that bordered black. His fingers were interlocked with yours as he mouthed something that you couldn't yet register. His eyes turned dull and his head lulled back against a tree.

A large body of cerulean water in your peripheral from what you could tell and there was a male in front of you, his face distorted in your vision. One of his legs had been missing but that didn't stop him from dipping the toes he had left into the depths of something unknown to you. That person had a serene aura to them, that much you could tell, and there was a lingering thought of accomplishment in your core.

A girl with a brown head of hair that teared apart a type of meat, one that you couldn't yet recognize, with her teeth. Tears cascaded down her cheeks in streams, but you recognized the look on her face. She wasn't experiencing heartache or anguish, instead, she was in pure bliss. And then in a flash, she laid on the ground in a different setting. Crimson pooled around her form and a pain you couldn't even begin to elucidate swallowed you whole.

The next few scenes only lasted split seconds.

A young boy around your age with dirty blonde hair and light forest green pearls that matched those of your Stefan.

An unusually round and fluffy plant that almost seemed, hairy?

A flat pastry that had been folded and drizzled with a dark substance.

More violet flowers, only that time, they were doused in alizarin crimson.

A boy with sleek dark hair that reached to about his chin and jade colored eyes that stared expectantly, a pleading declaration swam in the black pools of his pupils.

Sharp ivory claws.

Bones, colossal in size.

So much steam.

Wings?

And throughout each memory, almost acting as a shadow in the back of your mind, there had been a reoccurring sight.

A pair of honey golden eyes.

Each time they presented themselves in front of you, they projected a vast collection of emotions that ranged from ecstasy and pleasure to misery and regret and everything in between. There was so much pain, emotional and physical, within those short but constant moments.

Luckily for you, just as soon as they had been tossed into your arms, they were tugged away as though you had not been meant to remember such moments. And so that is exactly what happened. You were allowed to slip back into your momentary state of peace.

Looking back at it, you should've known. Should've known that it was all too good to be true, because of course life could not allow you to stay in your idyllic place in life, beside both Stefan and Cielo, no matter how tightly you cradled it with your very own hands. Because one second, it felt as though you were coddling the sapphire blue butterfly you had fallen in love with and the very next, that same insect disintegrated into ashes and slipped though your fingers. No matter how hard you tried or how long you spent scouring the flakes from the ground, you'd never be able to seize every piece that fell to the floor. And most definitely not without bruising your knees from the effort that got rewarded with nothingness.

Fun fact: Cielo did indeed see you in the same light as you had seen Stefan. He also did think you were as, if not more, ethereal as that butterfly.

[hangesbrattyapprentice]

Chains in the Sand

1

After losing the battle of Shiganshina, three Warriors return to Marley with some unplanned cargo.

Or

Zeke has a new hobby.

cw: allusion to canon-typical violence, injury, and death, angst, kidnapping, yandere behaviour, zeke being messed up in general, miscarriage, suicidal thoughts, nudity, eventual smut.

Dark content in general. My dead dove radar is very skewed so I can't really tell how dark this is but please read at your own discretion and MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!

Sooo I recently finished chp 2 on ao3 and decided to post this fic here as well because this is pretty much my second home rn. Hope you enjoy!

Things here felt…wrong. She didn’t know where they’d brought her – having seen nothing for days save for the inside of a trunk before being transferred to this hovel – but everything here, even the most normal of objects, seemed to emit an unsettling aura.

The bathroom she was in was simple enough – dingy tiled walls and floor of a shade that didn’t match any identifiable colour, a drain in one corner, a toilet in the other, one water fixture jutting out of the wall, a barrel-like tub that would not accommodate unbent knees, and nothing else.

And yet, the sense of discordance clung to every corner of this place just like relentless nausea clung to her. The glaze of the tiles was strange. The pattern of holes in the drain’s strainer was unlike any she had ever seen before. Outside, the cacophony of civilisation sounded foreign, although their language was the same as hers. Inside, the man knelt by the tub tending to her was foreign also. Even the air felt different to breathe. Though, she conceded, that might just be her battered lungs.

Is this really what it’s like on the other side, she wondered.

I am outside the Walls.

She didn’t need reminding, but the voice in her head had been chanting the words persistently… Ever since she’d woken up that first time after Shiganshina.

She was angry, furiously so, at the voice for being of no use at all, but she’d learnt to welcome it in place of other things – thoughts that might creep in were it silenced.

She was outside the Walls. And the man’s ministrations, every scrub, every sweep of the washcloth over her skin, brought back fragments of her journey.

He’d started by carefully rubbing the mixture of dried vomit and tears from her face. Most of the journey had passed with her unconscious, but she had woken up disoriented, in excruciating pain, lying on her side in a box darker than the insides of her eyelids. It might have been fear, the agony from her burns, or the realisation that all had been lost. The slow, steady rocking sensation didn’t help. It made her feel like there was no solid ground beneath her. Made her organs feel as if they were sloshing around inside her, untethered.

She’d managed to vomit into a corner further away from the scratchy rag that served as her makeshift pillow, but it hadn’t made much difference when they simply put her under again to loll within the same confines.

The first time they had injected her was before the trunk, right after the battle. Seeing the syringe, she had screamed and thrashed, thinking they would turn her into a pure titan. It was the only function she’d ever associated with the needle, after all.

So stupid. They had all been so stupid, kept in the dark by these others who lived beyond the Walls. Who made titans. Who could make it so your body was paralysed even as your mind stayed wide awake.

Two of them had held her down while a third pierced the skin at the periphery of her injuries. She thought it might have been this man, the one now clinically scrubbing the grime off of her one unbandaged arm after thoroughly cleansing her hair and wrapping it in a towel.

She watched him absently as she tried to recall.

Those same hands. Large, sturdy, their backs dusted with fine golden hair. These were the hands that had meticulously picked the charred bits of leather and cotton from the sludge of her skin as she lay on the ground, unfeeling save for light tugs and twitches.

Back in the bathroom with walls that had no colour, the man spoke, but she didn’t hear him. He lifted the golden mop of his head to fix her with an expectant look. Behind the round wire-rimmed glasses, his eyes didn’t have a distinct colour either, nor any discernible affect. They could have been blue or green or a golden hazel, she couldn’t tell. But they held patient expectation.

He wanted her to lift her arm. She complied, and he washed under her arm and across her sternum and breasts, taking care to be thorough but gentle over her sensitive skin. Her raised arm quickly lost strength and gingerly, it drooped down to rest on his shoulder.

Water seeped through cotton fibres, making them cling to her skin and his. He didn’t seem bothered by it, only continuing – now beneath the water’s surface – his task of wiping away grime to reveal cuts and bruises instead. Cuts and bruises were manageable. But part of her, the part that wasn’t numb from shock, feared what was under the bandages on her left shoulder and upper arm. It wasn’t just burnt flesh. Or at least, not just her burnt flesh.

She feared what else had been lost in that explosion. That –

She took a rattling breath, a feeble attempt to gather herself.

I am outside the Walls.

I am outside the Walls.

The man looked up at her face again, hooded eyes regarding her.

“Does it hurt?”

What an absurd question. There was nothing in all of existence that didn’t hurt.

“Alright, now hold on tight,” he murmured, sliding his hands under her arms to lift her to her feet.

Water streamed from her body back into the tub, her stomach feeling as though it followed the same downward motion. Her legs wobbled, her grip on him tightening for stability. He waited until she steadied, his palms flat against her sides.

She glanced down at herself, being careful not to dislodge the towel folded atop her head. The lukewarm water had washed away most of the blood, but a significant amount remained, congealed and dried, between her legs and down the insides of her thighs.

The man knelt again, manoeuvring her so that both her hands rested firmly on his shoulders. With a hand supporting the back of her thigh, he lifted her leg and began cleaning her vulva. He seemed to have no reservations about a task so…delicate. The blood didn’t phase him either. He only muttered something about what an inconvenience menstruation must be during battle and the unfortunate choice of white uniform trousers.

Maybe he was a doctor.

She vaguely recalled that said trousers had been stuffed into a bag along with the rest of her clothes, presumably to be discarded.

She tried to tell him she wasn’t menstruating. She hadn’t, in almost three months. But speaking was difficult, and she decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Saying anything wouldn’t make a difference whatsoever.

Everything that mattered had been lost on either side of that broken gate to Shiganshina.

Everyone on that side of Shiganshina is dead.

That’s what they’d told her when she – a lone, badly injured scout – had challenged the retreating Cart Titan with a broken blade at the border of the city. The river’s current had carried her all the way there.

She wasn’t sure anymore who exactly had given her this information. Her thoughts were jumbled and muddy from all the chaos and drugs. There was the Cart Titan, and others. Traitors...

The Colossal Titan, she remembered. Berthold! That filthy lowlife of a traitor who had killed everyone in his devastating explosion. She would have been among them, had she not hurtled herself into the river, gear whirring at full speed.

She gazed down, swirls of brown and burgundy coiling around her knees where her legs disappeared beneath the murky water. Maybe it would have been better to die with them.

The thought felt oddly, comfortingly familiar.

When she had been scrubbed head to toe, the man straightened up and sighed as if he had just finished a long day of work at a desk.

He undid the towel on her head, using it to gently dry her hair and massage her scalp. Then he patted dry the rest of her body and helped her out of the tub, one leg at a time. He guided her by her right hand into the space that was the rest of the miserable dwelling.  

The entire place was a square room with a crooked, boarded-up window beside the door, directly opposite the bathroom. There was a sink outside the bathroom, a mattress on the floor covered with a thin sheet, and a single rickety wooden chair. The rest of the furnishings, if you could call them that, were built into the walls like extensions of the building. There was a tall shelf and a counter about waist-high.

It was all so peculiar…and she just couldn’t bring herself to care.

She barely noticed him dressing her in a plain sleeveless shift. She only took note when he sat her on the trunk in which she’d been packed and began unwrapping her bandages, starting just below her elbow and working his way up. She flinched when he pulled on a section that had stuck to her skin.

His gaze flickered up to her face.

“Ah, apologies, Liebchen. I’m out of anaesthetics,” he said, cocking his head and reaching up to scratch his earlobe absentmindedly. “Be a brave girl for me, hm?”

He resumed the unwrapping, not expecting a response. This suited her just fine. She lost interest in what was being done to her, eyes glazing over as she stared into space.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

The change unsettled her.

He spoke often, right from the moment he had cracked open the lid of the trunk, going on about this and that. But he hadn’t tried to initiate conversation, never actually expected an answer from her. She wouldn’t have responded now, but some old part of her remained from a time when her name meant something – when declaring it meant claiming some power.

“M…”

She pressed her lips together to form the consonant, but they wobbled, unaccustomed to use.

“Mmm-” she tried again, the vibrations of the sound shaking her to the core and finally tipping her teetering body over the edge of nausea. She bent over, retching violently. Her stomach didn't have much to give, but bile splattered on the floor before her – and on his bare feet.

With a nonchalant sigh, he stood, fetching a mug and the towel he had just used on her from the bathroom. She panted and observed him as he moved, not rushing to clean up the mess but methodically wiping away the evidence of her sickness. His foot was lifted, inspected with a detached curiosity, then cleaned with the same painstaking precision.

"It really is quite something, isn't it?" he started, the silence broken once more with his rumbling baritone. "The human body, that is." His gaze remained on his task, fingers expertly swiping over the floor. "It’s such a complex and yet vulnerable thing. You, for example, are in the aftermath of a rather impressive display of resilience. Yet here we are, brought low by a simple biological response."

As he worked, he continued to chat away, his tone casual, as if they were merely two old friends catching up. The conversation remained decidedly one-sided, filled with his musings on the nature of humanity and the bitter-sweet paradoxes of life. He seemed entirely unbothered by the lack of response, perfectly content with the rhythm of his monologue in the background of his clean-up while she sat there, weak and broken.

"But I suppose that's just how things are, isn't it? We are always at the mercy of something, be it other people, circumstance, or even our own bodies. It’s a constant balance – the want to survive and the inevitability of our fragility."

Finally, the floor clean, he straightened. A casual glance in her direction was accompanied by a knowing smile. The towel he'd used to clean up her mess was rinsed, wrung out and hung up over the counter to dry. He returned to his earlier position in front of her. His tall, rugged form towered over her but not in a way that felt threatening. Despite everything, he was careful, almost reverential, as his fingers – dry and cool – worked gently on the dressing.

The bandages came away bit by bit, revealing angry burns and scorched flesh.

"Mmm," he hummed, more to himself than to her, dabbing at the worst of the burns with a clean, wet cloth. "These should have been attended to earlier. It seems I have a trip to make."

The observation was casual, almost conversational, but there was a calculated awareness in his eyes, an understanding of the predicament that lay beneath the seemingly offhand remark.

Throughout, his gaze would occasionally flicker to her, his eyes ever searching, but his touch remained unwaveringly gentle. "I'll need to head out soon. Get you some food and medicine. Painkillers. Ointments. Perhaps some fresh clothes." His voice had a velvety depth, a soothing counterpoint to the sharp sting of his ministrations. "We can’t have you staying in this state."

His words floated past her like wayward leaves on a stream, inconsequential and distant. She remained motionless, her gaze directed at the far corner of the room, unseeing. Her heart, mind, and body were cloaked in an impenetrable fog, only the occasional sharp tug on her wounds tethering her to reality.

He paused his task, looking up at her, his gaze focused and contemplative. "And, ah, sanitary items," he ventured. "You'll be needing those as well, won't you?"

The question accentuated the strange, invasive intimacy between them. But she simply shook her head, a feeble motion that hardly moved her. The hollowed-out shell of the woman she'd been managed to scrape together a faint whisper, "No."

She felt the momentary shift in pressure from where his hand held hers, a flash of something unidentifiable flitting across his features. Understanding? Pity? It was gone as soon as it came, his expression once again pleasantly, if unsuitably neutral behind his glasses.

“Alright,” was all he said, collecting the soiled dressing. The conversation was left to dwindle in the still air of the room, the silence wrapping around her once more like a blanket. Her response hung heavily in that silence, a harsh reminder of all that was lost.

[daughter-of-the-stars11]

I’m missing canon attack on titan fics please send me some!!!!

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

Have you already wrote headcannons for a reader on there period? With the aot boys please. Non - modern au if you can

a/n: there is a NSFW period one already done, it isn’t specified as modern au or canon verse. you can find it right here :) this however is a SFW, canon-verse just for you! just obviously this post has mention of menstruation lol

eren jaeger has a bottle of painkillers he keeps in his jacket pocket for you. he knows that you won’t end up taking them until you’re writhing in pain, so as soon as you mention your period, he’s unscrewing the lid.

armin arlert always rubs your back when you start your period. he’s understanding, patient, and kind. he carries around a pad/tampon just in case you need one.

connie springer treats you like a princess when that time comes around. he’s extra sweet to you, carefully picking his words. he’s afraid of that ‘period-wrath.’

jean kirstein gives you half off his food during your period week. he knows how draining your period can be and there’s no way he’s letting his baby go on missions not being properly nourished.

porco galliard hates when you go on your period because you and pieck always sync up. the two of you decide to make his life a living hell whenever that week rolls around. he always says it’s “too much feminine energy.”

zeke jaeger deems you his queen for that week (and every other week.) he’d do anything to keep you happy even if it meant embarrassing himself somehow. he always picks up a sweet treat for you when out.

reiner braun gets queasy at the mention of your menstruation which you use to your advantage. he’ll do anything you ask him if it means you’ll stop describing what’s happening inside of you.

bertholdt hoover is so gentle with you. always asking if you’re alright, if you’re cramps are too bad. he gives you forehead kisses and generally tries to keep you from exerting too much energy.

erwin smith doesn’t care about your period. in public, at least. after the days done and he doesn’t have to be your superior anymore, he’s buckling for you and every request. he draws you warm baths.

levi ackerman wants you to rest as much as possible. he hates seeing you go out with the rest of the scouts, knowing how painful your period can be. he’ll find an excuse to keep you inside the walls.

jean x reader fic

[braunbakery]

I’m sorry if this is rude but would you ever write a sequel to little sparrow? Like what happens between jean and reader and Mikasa after reader confesses to him?

poison oak

☞ jean kirstein x fem reader

☞ sequel to little sparrow, word count: 3k

☞ sfw, angst angst angst, canon-verse [post aot finale.]

☞ plot: there comes a point where whatever false comfort you and jean are afforded by pretending what you said on the boat never happened hurts more than you can bear.

☞ inspired by poison oak - bright eyes

☞ poison oak

the nightmares will never truly leave.

this is something that you all know full well. know to your deepest cores as the paradis demons, the paradis survivors, the paradis warriors. heroes. it needs not to be talked about, to be acknowledged or discussed.

and yet, they seem almost worse now that you awaken to safety. now that you can awaken to the knowledge of a war victoriously won and finally over. it seems even near the calm flickering and warmth of a fire at your bedside, or the crickets chirping outside a window, your mind cannot forget. it seems easier to have a nightmare when you were living in one.

jean knows this all too well, as he remains between sleep and consciousness tossing and turning until his bedsheets are all but crumbled into a bundle on his mattress. this is the routine – one he knows that he and his friends often undergo – especially in the nights following the end of the final battle for peace.

sometimes he is a young boy again – fifteen and watching his friends be devoured by beasts beyond comprehension. sometimes he is older and wiser, but still inhabited by that same fear and dread that has followed him from his most innocent and tarnished youth just to face enemies that look just like him. sometimes there are guns and sometimes blades. sometimes he is surrounded by comrades and sometimes he is isolated and staring up at the wall that dictated his very existence until countless died to be rid of it.

and sometimes – not often, not nearly as often as he would like – his nightmares are interrupted by an ocean breeze and your blurry silhouette in front of him. back at that boat before the final stretch. you’re speaking – he can hear your voice and make out your figure moving – yet he can’t make out the words.

he doesn’t need to. he knows this scene well enough since the day it happened.

his mouth moves of its own volition and he can barely even see from this cursed blur cast onto his vision – but he knows he is clasping your shoulder and he knows what words will come next out of his mouth.

“i need to go.”

and then he is awake.

*~*

it’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever comes after the war.

months go by and you’re signing treaties and mourning and meeting officials and reinstating civilisations alongside your comrades – but it’s barely ever that you all get to be friends. no, these moments are few and in between yet when they come it is like an air of gratefulness settles into the room until once more you are all interrupted by whatever duties are bestowed upon you next.

you are somewhat thankful for this business – obviously not for the horrors of that final battle or the things witnessed and lives lost – but for this sudden political leadership you and your comrades now share. you do not have time to think of jean and your confession. sometimes thoughts of it do slip in, it is hard not to when you have to see him so often those first few months, but now it has been a year and you have all gone on to follow your respective lives.

that constant underlying ache for him has turned into an occasional sting. you love jean. you do. it is a fact written into the crevices of your soul since your youth – but you owe it to yourself to live. to torture yourself no more with thoughts of him.

(“how have you been?” he says to you in the corner of the meeting room you are all situated in. you’re both currently stood at the small make-shift coffee and tea station set up for you all and pouring yourself a cup.

“oh!” you had not realised jean had sidled up beside you, “good! um…i’m alright.”

jean’s eyes flit between both of yours and suddenly you’re filled with the same embarrassment you used to feel when you would get tangled up in your ODM gear when you were younger and jean would double over laughing at you. he brings up a hand to the back of his neck.

you both have not spoken of that day on the boat and you certainly do not plan to bring it up.

“good…” jean eventually replies, “that’s good.”

“sorry,” you blurt out, “how’re you?” jean is grinning at your perceived impoliteness.

“tired,” he candidly blurts out and now it’s your turn to beam at him.

“i think we all are,” you say, and jean nods at you until suddenly his hand is coming up towards you. closer and closer and you’re frozen to the spot, you don’t even notice that you’ve stopped breathing. all you can think of is his hand’s nearing proximity to your face until suddenly it stops right at your eye.

he lightly brushes his thumb under your eye – the sure sign of your sleepless nights. you’re looking up at him lost for words as he mindlessly stares at the slight darkness painting your undereye.

when he locks eyes with you, it’s like he has suddenly realised himself and with an all too quick motion jerks his hand away from your face and stares at the ground.

“yeah, i’d say that’s right,” he sheepishly mumbles.

you hand him the teapot and both stand in silence until you’re called back to the meeting table.

and then like a well-trained dog, whenever you catch him look at mikasa (whether sparingly, whether a glance or his utmost focus as she speaks), you stare down at your clasped hands in an attempt to no longer involve yourself in whatever wreckage jean kirstein unconsciously makes of your heart.)

sometimes he writes to you.

a meeting of the so-called ‘heroes’ has become infrequent and only once every few months. you’ve all settled in different places some far and some close. sometimes you meet without the guise of peace and restoration, and sometimes that very guise is what’s needed for you all to see each other again.

so, you resort to writing. it’s you that starts it.

you write to everyone. you want to know of their plans, of their news homes, new lives, new directions. armin writes back the most – always lengthy responses and curiosity practically emanating off the parchment paper. in the times you have all met between these letters everyone has expressed their dismay for having to sit and write (‘as much as we’ve gone through together, you know i’m not writing,’ connie quips), yet at least once a month you receive something.

this is excluding jean, who week after week has something to say back to you.

he writes of new friends, new hobbies, new places, new desire for exploration. he writes and he writes and he writes, answering every question you have and asking his own. and it’s hard not to get too wrapped in it – you are childhood friends, you are soldiers in arms. and you have only just been able to resolve the heartache from the boat into a rough reminder that only comes and goes.

so with every letter (every poorly-scrawled joke and sudden idea and ‘yours truly’) you swallow your beaming smile and read as if this were anyone of the others writing to you.

*~*

eventually you do all meet, months later, at a bar.

it’s rounds of beers and dastardly jokes and everyone chortling at connie and jean rough-housing each other like they were teenagers once more. it’s reiner being forced to chug pints with a red face as connie insist he loosen up and ‘you’re the biggest here, you need to catch up.’

jean meets your eyes as everyone cheers and all you can think is that you are so happy to see him so at ease. to no longer see him as that haunted boy on the boat. your eyes meet jeans and all he can think is that he is so happy to see you here with everyone (which includes him. here with him.)

a lull of silence falls over the table eventually and you look up at jean to find him already staring at you. you offer him a small smile, overcome by the smooth buzz of alcohol and the warmth of the bar, and he reciprocates yet neither one of you looks away.

in the depths of your mind, you can feel whatever thoughts of him you have supressed over time come crawling out once more and you wonder if you are both to go on with the rest of your lives without ever mentioning what happened that day long ago. the silence breaks and everyone’s head turns to reiner, who’s holding up his half empty glass.

“to eren,” he declares, and you can practically hear mikasa’s breath hitch in her throat from next to you. around the table you can see the slight glaze over everyone’s eye, the sudden realisation that you truly did all make it out, “and to everyone else lost.” reiner continues.

slowly but surely, everyone’s glasses are raised up to the air and you’re back to years before inspecting jean’s every move like you can practically bore your eyes through his head and read his thoughts. and as your arm is outstretched in tribute to those who should be here with you today, you realise that jean is not looking at you.

he is looking at mikasa, as a single tear slowly trails its way down her cheek. he looks and he looks and he looks, even after everyone places their drinks back on the table with a synchronous clink. everyone is sharing a sympathetic glance at her, but in your most selfish moment you stare at jean.

you slowly watch as he stretches out his hand across the table and gently clasps it over hers, offering her a consoling smile and looking at her in ways you could only dream. sometimes you think maybe this is the look he gives you, maybe this is what you see when his eyes suddenly catch yours across the room or when he had brushed his thumb under your eye or when he tells you he looks forward to your next letter. but no – the look you long for is in front of you between him and her. from him to her.

without even thinking, you clasp your hand on mikasa’s shoulder and make your way off of your chair and suddenly jean is quickly retracting his own from hers. you cannot even spare him a look. you feel so selfish, you feel so dumb. you made it through battle upon battle and monstrosity upon monstrosity yet for some reason you cannot make it through whatever you feel for jean.

“think i’m done for the night,” you blurt out, voice slightly slurred from the amount of drinks you’ve had – though you suspect everyone else’s voices are similar. through everyone’s boos and goodbye’s you can hear jean.

“what?”

but you can barely spare him a glance before you’re grabbing your coat from the back of your chair, crossing the room and leaving the bar with no hesitation.

*~*

it’s only ‘til you’re halfway down the cobblestone street where the bar is that you realise the reason you’re so uncomfortable and cold and wet is because it is raining and you forgot your damn umbrella in the bar. so swept up in thoughts of a man who doesn’t love you that now you’re standing in the middle of the street at god knows what time looking like a fool.

jean kirstein doesn’t love you.

does jean kirstein love you?

why doesn’t jean kirstein love you?

maybe you were fine with whatever lingering glance and weekly letter and small yet fleeting touch. maybe a deep most embarrassing part of your mind thought perhaps he was growing to. maybe some convoluted side of you thought that perhaps with this much effort he put into sustaining your friendship, something else could be there. maybe–

“hey!” a voice calls after you in the distance.

you instinctively turn around and of course, of course, it’s him in all of his glory standing in the rain with your folded umbrella in hand and raised towards you.

“i think you forgot something,” he says and he starts to jog towards you. when he notices your hair dripping wet and your face almost laminated as he reaches you he can’t help but laugh, “though i’m a little late.”

“thanks,” you muster out, but you can’t seem to manage to take the umbrella from him. you can’t seem to move at all. jean frowns. he knows that something is wrong, and you can tell that he knows. it’s not like you (you who insists on writing letters, on meeting every few months, on reminiscing and appreciating and loving those who have come all this way with you) to suddenly leave without another word.

“what’s wrong?” jean starts, staring down at you staring down at your shoes.

you can’t speak until suddenly a hand is lightly touching your chin and tugging your face up. you’re met with his face and you hope – you pray – that he cannot notice whatever tears may or may not have escaped and that he may think your sniffling is from spending time out in the rain and not from this sudden sadness that feels like it’s taking over your every limb.

sadness for what? for something that never was?

“i’m going to bed, jean,” you say, slightly angling your chin away from his hand which remains in mid-air despite your movement.

“tell me,” he repeats, “tell me what’s wrong.”

you stare at his wet hair that has started to stick to his forehead for a moment. for a few. until suddenly you realise that he’s begging. he’s begging. he’s begging for you to tell him…to say it. and surely by now he can tell it’s from all that time ago, when you were bearing your soul to him in what could have been your final moments alive with each other. he must know. he has to know.

it's when he slightly nods his head at you as he watches you rummage through your own thoughts that he does know. he just wants you to say it.

“you’ll never love me, will you, jean?”

“that’s–”

“jean, please,” you snap, “just be honest with me. you owe it to me.”

“i know i do, i…” he feels like he’s barely able to enunciate. barely able to keep the words pouring out of him before they even make sense in head, “i’m sorry about the boat.”

your heart is rising and falling and rising and falling and you don’t think you would’ve ever heard any acknowledgment about what happened that day for as long as you lived. you thought that despite the fact that the both have you have faced enemies larger than life, you would both have never faced that day together.

“yeah,” you barely mouth out.

“i’m sorry i didn’t say anything. i’m sorry i…i just left. i don’t know why i–” he cuts himself off with two hands up to his hair, scrunching and pulling at it like his life depends on it, “the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt you.”

“it’s a bit late for that,” you can’t help but spitefully remark. you hate what this has made you into, this bitter and sad person this heartache has rendered you into.

“i know,” he breathes, “i know. but i…” it’s like it’s paining him to speak, and it’s a miracle you can even hear each other over the raindrops colliding down onto the street beneath you. your chests are both heaving and your breath is evaporating into steam in front of you. your clothes are soaked all the way through and jean’s are certainly on the way to being the same.

“…you?” you urge.

“i think i do.”

what?

“what?”

his hands are suddenly on your shoulders and his eyes are boring into you and you can feel the steam of his breath on your cheeks.

“i think i do,” he says again, voice racing itself, “like, really really do. i know it’s mean to say this now, i know it’s selfish. but i just need time. i just need to let go, somehow.”

you can taste the salt of your tears.

“let go of her, you mean?” and jeans eyebrows scrunch at the fact that you know full well what he means. he’s always known that you’ve know – sure, he saw your reaction at the bar – he just never imagined that you’d speak it aloud. speak it aloud to him.

he swallows, “yeah.”

you’re tired, you’re so so tired.

“i’m going to bed, jean,” and you start turning and wrenching yourself out of his grasp, but his hand is now around your wrist holding you in place.

“wait,” he urgently blurts, “please.”

“jean,” you tearfully sigh. this is not the life you want to live. you did not survive for this. you did not fight and win and go on just to still have your heart dictated by jean and mikasa.

“please,” he says again, slowly.

“jean, i’ve been waiting for you for years, whether i’ve liked it or not.”

“i know–”

“and now we have no war. now we have people, we have lives. we have something more than bloodshed.”

this time, jean lets you when you carefully tear yourself out of his grasp and fully face him.

“and i’m not letting myself spend what we have now waiting.”

*~*

that night, you take your umbrella from jean and walk to the nearby inn that you have all purchased rooms in for your stay without ever opening it. you listen to your feet echo against the empty cobblestone street and thank yourself that you turned and left before you could stare at jean’s back leaving you like before.

when you get to your room, you strip off all of your clothes and leave them in a heaped damp puddle in the corner of the room, then sit at your bed alone staring out the window. the wind slightly batters against the wooden panes and you can hear its distant howl.

it’s then that you realise you are somehow still on that boat. and maybe you are cursed to never leave.

thanks for reading :) feel free to request (please something other than jean dear god)

[sevendeadlywhispers]

7Seals

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• Levi Ackerman FanFic x OC Fem! Slow Burn! Canon Verse!

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♰ New chapters every Thursday

♰ Warning: This content may not be suitable for all readers. If you've watched all of AOT then you will understand that the show handles heavy subjects such as abuse, racism, violence, and other heavy subjects. This fanfiction will also have the same heavy themes. Chapters with heavy themes will be marked with (*) at each chapter.

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Table of Contents:

Playlist (coming soon)

Prologue

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"Now I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals; and I heard one of the four living creatures saying with a voice like thunder, 'Come and see.' And I looked, and behold, a white horse. He who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer."

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Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

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"When He opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature saying, 'Come and see.' Another horse, fiery red, went out. And it was granted to the one who sat on it to take peace from the earth, and that people should kill one another; and there was given to him a great sword."

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Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

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A/N (2/22/24): Hey Hey! I hope you guys are enjoying, all the support means so much to me. This is my first fic ever so I’m learning on the way so thanks for the patience.

I have big plans for this fic. With that I plan to follow the whole aot storyline to the rumbling. I don’t plan on ending anytime soon. Just keep in mind this might be a painful slow-burn with lots of OC trauma.

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Any art/images are not mine and belong to the rightful creators & owners. OC & OC’s storyline is my creation. Do not repost on other platforms. Do not copy work. All artists & creators deserve recognition for their creations.

[riewritten]

OK apparently i was tagged in a very cool game (thank u @danchou-danchou !) wherein i choose my top 5 favorites among the stories i had published so far

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST

set in modern era wherein reader (aka you) has constant nightmares of the canon AOT verse. you thought it was none but very disturbing reccurent dreams until you came across erwin smith, the new professor and the only face you could recognize in that world. since his appearance, the nightmates had worsened! i was so enthralled with the concept of multiverse and thought that if that's the case, then might as well use it to give erwin the comfort & ending he deserves! in this fanfic, the source of all living matter (aka tree) had another power in store aside from the titan.

THE WORST KIND OF NOTHING

ah, the character study fic. you see,

hngngng. yes. YES. YESSSSSS. i love me an insane antihero. PLEASE. i want to publish the next chapters so BAD.

STUCK

don't you think literature, or any fictional world for that matter, is none but another real world that exists alongside our universe? books and TV & comic series could be windows that show glimpses of the universes around us :'D in this fic, you get stucked in sum world, erwin interrogated you about your circumstance, and as if it couldn't get worse, you eventually find a satirical comic series about your life 🤪

oh god, i love my characters consciously hating me to death for all the shit i've put them through. lmao.

MERE DROPLETS OF WATER CAN STILL MAKE A GLASS FULL

the generic plot of forbidden love trope where characters r bothered to love each other bc of their age. this one's a bit too realistic, tho 😔 AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GOOFY AHH CRUSH I HAD WITH THE MOST CHARISMATIC PROFESSOR I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE

WEEKEND LESSONS

booksmart erwin x lovely reader who loves hearing him out & letting him cook!! i've written this for @frenchdyer, a lovely being i can relate to A LOT. that's why it goes with my top favorites, too :)

making this is so much fun, so i think i want to revise the game a lil bit and hear about: @rinamars top 5 favorite plots she came up with (because you have 2 published fics so far, please tell me about the WIPs/silly lil stories inside your head >___<) ANDDDD @frenchdyer top 5 favorite artworks they had made so far!!

to anyone reading this, i want to hear your top 5, too, so i'm automatically tagging you 😝 mention me in your posts :D

[http-tokki]

What is the first rule about being a field medic?

~ levi ackerman x reader ~ tags/cw: blood, gore, kinda canonverse but with magic ~ wc: 430

Levi notices your torn apron and bloody clothes. Red drips from your fingers and thigh, and the gash above your knee is open and squelching with each step, but that didn’t stop you from kneeling before the injured scouts. He watches as you clench your jaw, hissing at the pain lancing through you, but you don’t flinch as you apply pressure to the wounded youngster. Levi is mesmerized by the glow beneath your bloodied hands, the scout’s skin stitching together as you chanted the healing incantation over and over again. Levi watches you limp from body to body, hands shimmering and magic waning as you deplete your stores, the colour in your cheeks fading, and your body swaying before you slump to the earth below. Your knees give out underneath you, mud spraying your face as your entire body falls onto your ravaged thighs.

“Oi, You!” Levi calls out. He is crossing the field between the two of you before he can send the order to his feet. “Hey, healer!”

Your attention is still on the ground before you, unable to look up as you breathe deeply. Levi notes the way your body shudders with each gasp, the way you spit blood into the ruined dirt. There isn’t much space between you both, maybe a few yards or so but with the mud and blood and weight of ODM gear, the time is double, and by the time he reaches you, you have managed to gather yourself and get to standing.

“Hey, brat. I’m talking to you,” Levi barks.

That seems to get your attention. You turn to the captain, face still drained of colour and eyes sunken as if you had the life leached from you.

“Yes, sir?” Your voice is weak.

Levi scoffs and leads you towards a fallen tree. Strong hands push you down to sitting, and your thigh screams in agony and the sudden movement. He drops to his knees and starts to brush the blood and earth from around your wound. You wince as Levi wraps the cloth around the slash in your flesh.

“What is the first rule about being a field medic?” His question is rough.

“Keep your supplies in order?”

“No.” Levi tightens the scrap around your thigh, eyes hardening as you flinch in pain. “A dead healer can’t heal anyone.

Levi stands and holds out a hand to you. Accepting the gesture, you are pulled to your feet, still in pain but less exposed to the elements.

“Check yourself before you offer aid.” He grunts before ripping his hand from yours. “Stupid kids”

a/n: alrighty, so this is a bit of a weird one. not exactly canon verse aot but also kinda idk, close your eyes and imagine that there is healing magic within the world of aot.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

...oh boy. we going with all of them? alrighty

tagged by @chaotic-on-main!!!

rules: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs!

the levi-related ones will be highlighted in pink since i've done a lot of writing for different fandoms so

Split into folders!

"BSD AU"

"Current" - dazai x reader "mafia days" - mafia!dazai x reader "mafia husband au" - chuuya x reader

2. "First drafts" - these are all canondivergent rewrites of some toaru light novels

"agitate halation arc" "battle royale arc" "DRAGON arc" "WWIII arc"

3. "Main verse" / general - most are related or excerpts of the canondivergent toaru universe unless otherwise specified

"book 1: the darkness within" "book 3 beginnings" "condemnation of the city" "intro to soul magic" - undertale au "purge arc" "soul harvest"

4. "Main verse" / "Series 1: Science" - updated drafts of canondivergent toaru light novel rewrites

"experiment arc" "the descent" "the dark side" "DRAGON" "WWII arc actual" "Ryuuri arc" - introduces another OC "freshman arc" "the next step" "agitate halation arc" "invasion arc"

5. "Main verse" / "Series 2: Magic"

"angel fall arc" "daihaisei arc" "hawaii invasion arc" "intro to magic"

"Misc"

"ATLA" - what it sounds like. OC that is Azula's twin. mostly explores Azula's POV throughout the OG series "norse au" - had some marvel-related dream where i was an odinson and beat the shit out of hela and was like very close with loki and was the true heir to the throne or something idk dreams are weird and sometimes i'll write about them "overwatch heart thing" - idk this has something to do with genji. i dont actually remember LMAO "plot: dazai is pissed at you" - what it sounds like. ex-boyfriend!dazai x reader. gets kinda dark.

"Random AU's that might turn into something" - my AOT content! :D

"Forced Roommates AU" - modern!au levi x reader (I'M STILL WORKING ON THIS GUYS I PROMISE I SWEAR) "Main AU" - canonverse levi x reader with special abilities due to a bloodline heritage "Post-war" - where i hold the parts of Until I See You Again "rivals" - canonverse levi x assassin!reader random WIPs in my drafts: - part 2 of the modern!au oneshot i wrote for @luvjiro - oneshot with flustering levi as he's patching you up - headcanons of levi as a pet!dad - either a canonverse oneshot or drabble of levi breaking up with a reader to protect them but then the reader dies and he wasn't there to protect them - request: canon!divergent scene where reader gets turned into a Titan and levi has to hunt down beardo and feed him to her - drunk love confession - levi attempting to confess his feelings but he's horrifically drunk - levi being reluctant to ask you out on a date - depressed reader and levi comes home to her with a matcha

send me asks if you're interested! even for the non-aot ones! although some i might remember better than others idk i've been writing for a while jadkf;ljd

#: @ohmytomorrowisthursday @fscottcatsgerald @marleysfinest @prettyiwa @mrsackxrman @sixpennydame @dont-f-with-moogles @ghostlykeyes @svftackerman @thevelria @nosleepjustlevi + anyone else i forgot idk i've gotten like 4 hours of sleep in the past 3 days a;dlkfjd

[aquasoftware]

𝙎𝙖𝙠𝙤𝙞’𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨. (𝙋𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙤 + 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨…!)

𓇼 DON’T be afraid to mutual me, I love making new moots!Send me asks or chat in my inbox idm.

𓇼 I will take requests & commissions, please don’t rush though, I’m not ai and won’t be able to generate fics in 3 seconds.

𓇼 I don’t have time to block every minor on this app, but do not interact with my nsfw pieces, this is a 17/18+ centered blog. This is also discourse free blog, I’m just here to be horny don’t try and battle me/drag drama in my inbox.

𓇼 Do not translate fics w/o premission, do not steal my fics either. Being inspired is okay though!

𓇼 I appreciate reblogs, likes, and comments, also tips would help me out! :) my cash app is $myst1Andclouds.

𓇼 Do not request or commission me to write:

Mahito (yuck), Incest/stepcest, aged up smut, scat/piss kinks, foot fetishes, pedophilia, rape fantasies/cnc, heavy age gaps, gunplay, race play, slave kinks, master kinks, teacher x student, non-con drugging/recording, necro, and babytrapping. + This may change, but generally anything that makes me uncomfy

𓇼 Fandoms I will write for are mainly : jjk, one piece, aot, + more just ask me !

𓇼 Kinks and others that are 100% a yes :

Mild dc, sacrilege, degradation/praise, daddy/mommy kinks, breeding, spit, blood kink, biting, spanking, au's + canon verse, toxic themes, fem/gn! Reader, milf! Reader, food play, pegging, period sex, lactation, consensual aphrodisiacs, threesomes/gangbangs, consensual somno, etc just ask !

[syoish-aot]

The 2nd part of the eren isekai is so good!! Will you continue and make it like a full length fic??

Thank you so much!! Hearing people enjoy my writing really encourages me to write more!

Time for me to be an author and not shut the fuck up:

I probably will make it a full fic, but it's not going to be super long. I'm expecting it to either be a 15k oneshot or a 3-5 chapter mini multichapter fic (~30k). Right now the parts I'm posting to tumblr are essentially my rough draft, so once I have everything written out I'll put it together, edit it, and then post it to Ao3. My rough drafts tend to be pretty different from my final products (in all the best ways), so hopefully it'll still be worth reading the final version even if you follow along with the rough draft!

I have plans for a MUCH longer true isekai fic (aka reader is from 2024 and gets sucked into AoT season 2), but I'm waiting to finish The Letters She Wrote (my post canon Jean/OC fic that is very good and worth reading I promise) before I get too invested in it. Although even once I finish Letters I have plans for Connie/OC, Armin/OC, and Mikasa/OC fics that all take place in the same verse, so maybe I need to start double fisting my fics here....

I might post some rough drafts of a few scenes for that isekai fic (I'm not 100% set on the title yet but my standing title is "You, and the Jeremy Bearimy of Attack on Titan". I've written about 10k of it so far just to get some ideas out. The plot is really complicated and exciting, so I'm really looking forward to finally sharing it!! There is a romance sub plot but I can't really reveal who the ship is without spoiling things. Just know that it's good and a ship that I haven't seen very many aot x reader fics for.

In the meantime I do have a 100k multichapter modern verse reader/eren fic on Ao3 called Ten Seconds (which I constantly self promote because I'm very proud of it). So... if you're liking my writing please check it out (or read my Jean/OC fic GUYS IT'S SO GOOD I PROMISE!!!)

Anyway um.... now I'll shut up.

[killerskillercaptain]

Canonverse : when you discovered that the world had large lands of ice, oceans of water and many many different places with different technologies, you secretly wanted to see them all with captain Levi by your side.

[lunaekalenda]

Canon-verse AOT boys’ fav body part on their (female) SO?

ofc! i hope you like it ! and sorry for the waiting! please let me know if i missed someone you wanted!

fave body part feat: eren, armin, jean, levi, reiner, bertholdt, porco, zeke x female reader!

eren -> hair and maybe legs too

if there's something eren loves to do it's caress your hair when you're resting your head on his chest. He doesn't mind if it is long or short, just passing his hand over it, feeling how soft it is, gives him instant calm. and it always comes with tons of thumb caresses on your cheeks and murmured "i love you"'s

armin -> eyes

he likes to find all the different shades of your irises. he thinks that the eyes speak more than words, and whenever he sees yours he gets more and more convinced. he notices every single change in them, from sadness to happiness, and his favorite one: when you feel excited, and those eyes he loves get shiny and hopeful, making him even more starstruck in them.

jean -> waist

he cannot explain it, it's just the feeling of how his hand definitely belongs to your waist. it's almost natural the easiness he has to do it, and also the way that such a simple thing can mean the whole world for you. his touch can calm you, reassure you, let you know that he's still there and rooting for you. he's so used to it that standing next to you without touching you or holding your hand it's almost weird, and, luckily for him, you feel the same.

levi -> hands

holding them, kissing them, feeling your hand on his chest, your caresses... he wasn't a fan of physical contact, but your touch just feels so good, your random patterns on his back when he's in bed, your hand sneaking to take his while looking the cadets training. it's awesome how fast he can miss your touch.

reiner -> mouth

lips! and he has a special weakness for you bitting them. when you work next to him and you bite your lips while thinking, oh goddess, he wants to be the one bitting them. and probably that's what he does, sneaking until he's able to kiss you, a sweet and lovely kiss followed by a soft bite that makes the two of you hungry for more.

bertholdt -> nose

he think it is super cute, and he loves to give you kisses on top of it. bop it whenever you're distracted

zeke -> i'm sorry but butt

it's not a surprise. specially when you're resting on top of him and he can rest his hand casually on it. it isn't anything sexual, it's just... that he likes it.

porco -> tummy

he just likes to caress your whole body, but he has a little weakness for putting his arms around you and his palms resting on your tummy. also resting his head on it as you touch his hair is one of the best sensations he knows.

[levi-heichous]

blow the dice

pairing: levi x afab!reader

word count: 7.7k

content: mature content ( mdni! ), canon aot verse ( finally!! ), some modifications to canon events aka spoilers for s2, jealous!levi, unrequited love, established relationship, injuries related to the battlefield.

warnings: oral ( m receiving ), misogyny & objectification, titty job, asphyxiation, possessive sex, spanking, mentions of death. if anything is missing, please let me know!

a/n: red velvet's in my dream has been on repeat and of course haha!! the first thing i wanted to do was write a hurt/comfort fic about it :)) i did not beta or proofread yet!! i'm just impatient and want to upload this asap but i will be editing grammatical errors in the few days to come!

in my dreams, you love me back.

you're captain levi's version of stress relief after particularly taxing days, but it's more than just sex for you. you're giving him your body and soul all at once, even if it goes unrequited.

you wish that he'd kiss you with more intent than just muffling your moans or that his calloused hands would caress your cheeks instead of your tits for once.

you wish that you were more than a cadet to him, just another life to lose on the battlefield.

in your dreams, he loves you back.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

as a cadet of the survey corps, you know that your life holds little meaning to anyone that hasn't trained with you extensively. the townspeople are constantly berating your peers and commander for the lack of progress in a centuries long battle, even when you've suffered immense casualties and losses that have your eyes fill with tears for hours at a time. no matter how many expeditions you go on, you never get used to the violence, nor the cries and corpses of the ones around you.

still, the worst part isn't facing death every time you leave the walls or the lack of heroic recognition. the recurring nightmares of titans in all shapes and sizes coming after you, eating every one of your friends... it hurts the most when there's one man in the centre of it all, except this time, he doesn't come out unscathed as he so often does. all his blades have been dulled down and his gear is out of gas. he has nothing but his bare hands left to fight with, but what good are they when he's seconds away from being cut in half by a titan's teeth? your eyes turn to his fear-widened ones and you yell out his name as he's thrown into a monster's mouth.

captain levi.

you wake up in a cold sweat with a loud gasp, thankfully not waking any of the other cadets in your sleeping quarter. your chest feels tight and fresh, hot tears stream down your cheeks.

captain levi always has things under control, even when you think he doesn't. his lithe fingers are more than skilled with his blades and it feels like he's flying in the air more than he's on his horse when it's time to charge.

but he's only human.

every one of his moves are calculated and you admire that hesitance doesn't build in his body when he's outside of these imprisoning walls. human or titan, whatever stands in his way, he's ready to eliminate to ensure that the mission is completed.

if only he held the same demeanour when he's alone with you.

you take a quick look around to make sure everyone else is asleep before you climb out of bed, draped in your survey corps cloak in case you run into any others. barefoot with your heart on your sleeve, you slowly and quietly make your way up the stairs to a familiar hallway where superior officers are only allowed.

not wanting to wake anyone except the man inside, you knock twice timidly, but the likelihood of him hearing it are slim to none. you wait a few seconds before turning the knob on the off chance he wants to see you ㅡ the brass turns all the way, the wooden door creaking lightly.

disbelief is evident in your eyes as they blink rapidly a couple times. he rarely leaves his door unlocked for you.

"oi. you gonna come in or not, brat?" his voice is thick with sleep and you gasp, hurriedly shutting the door and locking it behind you before presenting yourself in front of him. moisture gathers in your eyes again as you see him sitting up in bed, probably hoping to have gotten rest so he can use his injured leg again for the expedition set to leave in a few days' time.

"m'sorry, sir," you murmur. "i just...i had a bad dream and wanted to check up on you..."

"tch. as if i care about your dreams." annoyance is quite clear in his voice and you feel guilt creep up your body like cold hands trying to tear you apart. "what do you want, little brat? it better be important or you'll be here on cleaning duty for the next two weeks."

two weeks? your shake your head and drop to your knees at the edge of his bed. two weeks of cleaning commanded by captain levi means you alone will be left to clean the headquarters while everyone is out for the expedition. that means you won't be there to help bring your peers' bodies back to rest or be updated on new information and plans.

"no, i mean i came in to check up and see if... if my services were needed, sir."

there's a flash of something unreadable in his eyes and you see his jaw tighten as he contemplates the answer in his head.

after a long moment, levi exhales and beckons you over with a single finger.

"fine. just make it quick. there's training early in the morning."

you hold back a grimace because you know that he's not going to show up when the other cadets and commanders do if he so much as wants to sleep in.

strong arms toss the sheets to the side and he winces at the exposure to the cold air in the room. that's when you see the cast on his leg for the first time. the captain was difficult to locate after arrival into headquarters and his mood seemed to be ever the same until then, leaving you to believe that it was just a minor injury. on the contrary, it looks as if he won't be walking for another week, not without wincing in pain, at least, and it's all your fault. you were out of position and didn't tell anyone that your blades broke early into battle. captain levi was on his way to save you when his leg got crushed like this.

your shoulders shake and you do your best to wipe away the tears that fall without your permission.

"what the fㅡ are you crying? oi. it's a minor injury. stop, brat." please, he begs in his head. he doesn't know how to deal with emotions like this.

sniffles are stifled to the best of your ability and you nod, taking a deep breath to serve your captain the way you intended to. you look at him from the floor where you undo the green cloak and let it slip off your back. in one swift moment, you climb onto his bed and kneel in between his parted legs, arms on either side of his hips.

"i'm sorry, sir," you whisper, leaning in to press a kiss to his toned chest. you linger for a second to take in his scent before trailing your lips down his torso and to the hard muscles of his stomach. by now, you know that he loves being worshipped, recognised for being the god he is. after all, humanity's saviour deserves to be praised for every fibre of his being.

it would be difficult to disrobe him out of his underwear ( that's the only thing he's worn to bed since you started visiting his quarter ) with one of his legs unable to bend or even move, so you opt to palm him over the thin fabric until he's hard. you aren't sure if he notices every time, but when his length twitches under your hand, you always give a pet to the tip, just to mess with him when or if he finds out.

your nimble hands pull just his length out from underneath the waistband of his briefs and you stroke his shaft with gentle fingers, the pad of your thumb running along the shiny, wet tip over and over until you hear his gruff grunts. your free hand tucks a lock of hair behind your ear and you look up at him with a coy smile, but his eyes are fixated on your breasts that are barely held under the thin fabric of your nightgown. quickly, you use your single hand to push down the arms of the dress one by one, then the bust of it until your tits are exposed and at his disposal.

"i want to be in between them," he mutters quietly.

you obey quickly and slide his thick cock in between your breasts, moving your tits so you can stroke him like this. now you can feel his gaze on your face when it's so close to the exposed head of his cock each time you move downwards. a harsh hand grabs hold of your roots and you get the hint right away.

the position is uncomfortable for your neck and back, but you know better than try to adjust when the captain wants something. your lips wrap around what you can of him, sucking down and lapping at the sensitive nerves as you continue to move your soft tits around him. even injured, levi refuses to sit still. his hips are eagerly bucking against your mouth and he pushes you down further until it's difficult for you to move, so you make the executive decision to release his cock from your chest and sink your hot mouth down his length. it wasn't what he ordered of you, but you're so wet and it feels so fucking good, he doesn't complain or pull back.

a breath hitches in his throat and he clenches his teeth, going so far as to grind them as he shoves you down farther and farther until he hears you gag and cough around him. without giving you a chance to recuperate or settle down, he muffles a broken cry of your name behind his hand when he finishes inside of your mouth.

the musky taste comes all at once and you cough even harder as you try to swallow what you can with the intrusion taking up so much of the space in your mouth. this only causes levi to moan again as you constrict around him and once you're able to catch your breath, you suck down hard to milk him for every last drop of his cum, much to the protest of the hand pulling on your scalp. when you finish, you release his tip with a lewd 'pop' and use your thumb to wipe any stray strings of spit or his seed off your mouth, wiping it on the front of your nightgown.

there's an awkward lull in the air; this is the part that levi hates most. he doesn't have the energy or physical capability to get you off now, but he wants to offer you a space on his bed. it wouldn't be a wise choice for either of you and levi's not one to gamble.

"dismissed, cadet."

your chest sinks and the pain is just a reminder for you to dress yourself up again as you nod and climb off the bed.

"see you in the morning, captain." you pick up your cloak and drape it over your slumped shoulders, making your way to the door.

"oi, brat." you pause where you are and turn just your head to meet his gaze. "cleaning duty for you. two weeks."

your mouth opens in disbelief and your brows furrow with annoyance.

"yes, sir. goodnight." gritting your teeth, you storm out and close the door much harder than you should've, but that's what he gets! you want to scream at him and ask him why the hell he wanted to keep you here when you could be doing so much more for the survey corps, for humanity. despite the fiery bouts of anger, you know it's useless to try to argue with him or contest his command; you'll never win and he isn't above using violence to incapacitate you so you have no choice to stay behind whilst also leaving dust bunnies to form.

the trip back to your bed seems to take longer, your feet seeming heavier. sleep doesn't come easily and you spent most of the time in bed, tossing and turning, and trying to get the now-acrid taste of your superior officer out of your mouth.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

the sunlight that shines into the dining hall is much too bright for your liking and all it does is highlight the dark circles underneath your eyes. the cadets around you ready their bodies by stuffing what they can in their mouths, but your bread and milk are untouched as you stare out the window, watching as some cadets set up for today's training.

"you okay? you kinda...look like shit." reiner's deep voice coming from beside you makes the frown engraved in your features sink in deeper and you sigh loudly in response.

"just couldn't sleep last night is all. mind your business."

your disgruntled tone only entertains the oversized pile of muscle and he starts to scoot closer until there's no more space between the two of you.

"oh? and why's that? couldn't get me outta your mind, huh?" there's a shit-eating grin on reiner's face that actually cheers you up and brings some energy back into your life.

it's so easy to play with him and rile him up, and he knows it; reiner always bites off more than he can chew.

"you think i can go any night without thinking about you, reiner? these muscles," your hand trails down his shoulder and biceps, "and that dazzling smile. what kind of girl could resist?"

the entire table tries to stifle their laughter as they watch reiner's cheeks turn bright red and when he opens his mouth to respond, you feel a sting at the back of your head. simultaneously, the blond's hand and yours rub at your respective heads as you both turn to see who delivered the sudden assault.

"shitty brats. go help the other cadets set up instead of wasting your time with meaningless chatter."

"yes, sir!" everyone but yourself calls out with a salute. it takes you a moment longer to gather your tray and try to get up, but no one waits for you or urges you to hurry — they're all too busy trying to get the hell away from captain levi.

"but you." he shoves you back down by the shoulder. "you're staying to clean, aren't you?"

you tilt your head up to meet his cold gaze and you nod once, only to drop your head again and see that the captain was somehow able to get rid of the cast already. over his pants is a long trail of bandages that already spot with red in a few places.

"are you alright, sir?" even though your voice is just a whisper, he can hear you clearly. everyone cleared out when the rest of the squad did and now it's just you and him.

"i'm fine. i hope you remember your duties for the next fourteen days, though. i'll be seeing you tonight after curfew, cadet." nothing more is said and he walks out of the dining hall with an obvious limp that follows him to the field in front of the window you're sitting by. you see him yell something at reiner before the young cadet is off to run laps around the field until lunchtime.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

the two years you've spent under captain levi's command have taught you how to properly clean every single room in the headquarters building.

the dining hall is first since you're already there and it never ceased to amaze you just how messy these people can be just because they're not extensively cleaning after themselves. sure, their trays are all properly put away, but the crumbs and drops of milk that are scattered over each hard surface makes your brows furrow together as you scrub over them.

each plunk of the mop into the soapy water, each brush of the duster, every drag of a rag makes you wonder if captain levi only ordered you to stay here to clean because it was getting unbearable for him to sit in filth. your conspiracy theory only gets reinforced throughout the day, especially when the devil himself leaves his tray of food on the dining room table for you to pick up after.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

nightfall couldn't come any slower and your duties for the day came to a close when every last person was out of the dining hall. you noticed that the captain was the first to leave, once again with his tray where it was the entire meal, but you finish what was expected of you because you're faithful and obedient, and you believe that the fruits of your labour will bloom one day.

"sir," you mutter at levi's door, just one knock this time — you know he's awake and expecting you.

"come in."

the room isn't lit with anything other than the moonlight that slants through the window and your eyes squint as they try to adjust to the sudden darkness, the door shutting behind you with a muffled click.

once the door shuts, you feel a hand from the darkness grab your neck and shove you crassly against the closest wall.

"you disgustingly promiscuous little brat. in my headquarters, spewing such inappropriate things to my cadets." the fingers around your neck tighten and you grasp onto his wrist, scratching what you can to try and get him off because you can't breathe. "if you ever say anything like that again, i'll have you kicked out for gross misconduct and keep you chained in prison for it, too."

was what you said really that offensive? you hear the boys giggling and saying much worse things when they think no one's around.

by now, your vision starts to go blurry and there's dark spots that make it difficult to see his entire visage. only when your hands stop resisting his does he let you go, letting the fresh oxygen sting when it fills your lungs.

the sight of you coughing for air and grabbing your ( most likely bruised ) throat, tears gathered in your pretty doe eyes, is one he definitely enjoys, but he wishes that you weren't in such a state because he had to punish you. he'd much rather you be like this because he was in a good mood.

still, the impact of your disheveled form in his body is obvious with the way his stiff cock protrudes against his pants. all the thoughts that ran wild in his mind today can finally come to fruition.

whilst you were too busy hating him and thinking of ways to expose your conspiracy, levi was busy thinking of ways to make you beg, to keep you from straying to the point of having to release any lewd words to your peers ever again.

he isn't one to gamble, but he's already in too far to pull back now. you've become a part of him without his permission and he's unsure of what this holds for your future, especially if you keep flirting with those boys that surround you.

"i expect my whore to be untouched except by me, unless you were giving me the hint that you're ready to be set free?" his eyes harden; he won't let you go, even if it was what you wanted.

confusion colours your eyes and you look up at him from the ground. for someone who hates spending time together outside of sexual deeds and doesn't stop to give you a kiss every once in a while, he's quite possessive. for a brief moment, you wonder if this is worth it — the unrequited longing for more than something physical, the sleepless nights, the inevitable crumbling of your world when he doesn't return from a mission. but the alternative, having to live without ever being close to him again, seems like it won't be any better. you get to be his every so often and that should be enough.

"i'm so sorry, sir... i promise that i haven't had anyone's hands or mouth on me except for you my entire life and it'll stay that way, captain." there's no pride to hold on to when you're in front of humanity's best.

the only response you receive is a grunt as he grabs you by the hair, pulling you up to your feet so he can throw you onto his bed with your stomach on the soft sheets that smell like a potent perfume of his scent. your feet hover just above the ground and he presses a hand on the small of your back to keep you still. without having to look, you know that he's admiring the way your uniform sticks to the swell of your full hips and the straps that make undressing you more of an annoying task. despite living in the uniform more often than not, he loves witnessing the way the leather strains your plush thighs and digs into them if he has you in the right position — the one he has you in now.

"do you think you deserve forgiveness, cadet?" his voice is softer now and you know the worst of the storm has passed. "i have half a mind to toss you out and leave you to writhe in desperation all by yourself until i return from tomorrow's expedition. if i don't, you'll be left to be untouched for eternity, i suppose."

an absolutely heartless, manipulative bastard. your heart clenches painfully at how casual he is in mentioning his own death and you feel the tears pricking your eyes.

"no, no, no, no— please, sir! god, please... don't make me go. i want it— i want you so bad! i need it. i'll beg for you outside your door until commander erwin and hange and everyone comes to see what i'm crying about!" your hips wriggle underneath him with hopes to entice, to drive him over the edge and possibly consider using you, if he pleases.

"tch. if anything, you'll be the one exiled. you think you're the first little brat to try and claw at my door for sex?" he's right ㅡ you know that there's plenty of other girls that try to catch his attention and you have no confidence to say that you were the only one successful. "get undressed, but leave your straps on."

it looks like you're worthy of his presence tonight after all.

your lungs are no longer aching and you slowly get up from the ground to undress yourself, making sure your back is turned to him. no matter how many times he's seen you bare, confidence has never been a part of the equation. captain levi's muscles are well-defined in all the right places, even if his clothes hide them rather well. though he has the decency to never point out parts of your body that you find inferior to his, you're the one that draws a comparison each time.

the sound of levi's sharp exhale makes you look over your shoulder and you watch him get up and start dragging his full-sized mirror towards his bed, leaving it at the foot of the mattress. is he really self-centred enough to want to watch himself?

there's no possible way for you to keep your straps on whilst only pulling down your pants, so once you're fully unclothed before putting each of the leather lines on. without the compression of the tight pants, the straps strain against your thighs even more and you turn to him, abashed, when you're done.

a shiver runs down levi's spine as he watches you with dark eyes. he hates that your arms are covering as much of your torso and lower body as they can. if he had it his way, you'd sashay over to him and twirl yourself like a skilled ballerina to show him every inch of you in that mouthwatering attire. maybe it's his fault for never admitting that you drive him insane with every little antic of yours.

"come." is the only word he's able to breathe out, his finger urging you over to where he now sits at the edge of the bed.

"you never answered my question, cadet. do you think you deserve forgiveness? because i think the answer is clearly 'no', but i'm willing to make an exception if the proper punishment is given."

your lithe footsteps bring you in front of him where you stand, hands folded in front of you and your thumbs twiddling together.

"yes, sir. i think that's a good idea."

"good," he mutters, patting his thighs. "then lay on your stomach and we'll see how well you can take it."

now it's your turn to shiver when you nod and settle yourself down as he instructed. instantly, his calloused hand runs a hand down your backside, enveloping the curve of your ass in his palm. without a moment's hesitation, he brings his hand down on one side of your plump ass, his gaze appreciating every bounce that his hit brings. the skin reddens within seconds ㅡ too long ㅡ and after the first is when he brings down a thunderous storm of spanks to each side of your supple cheeks. your writhing makes it difficult to land his blows exactly where he wants and he hisses in disapproval, gripping your hair with his free hand so can lift your head up and keep you still. your eyes meet your reflection in the glass he placed so strategically there and you avert your gaze as quickly as you can.

"stay still, brat."

you whimper pathetically and nod, bracing your body for the next hit, but his hand is gentle this time as he pets the burning flesh of your ass, writing your name into it with his the pad of his pointer finger.

"stay," he murmurs as he slips out from underneath you and undresses himself. as if setting an example for you, his body is only inches from you as he unstraps each strip of leather from his body, folding them on the floor. his shirt is next to go, then his pants, both neatly gathered so he can place the leather on top. he's left in his underwear and he waits until he's directly in front of your face to pull them down to his ankles, his thick cock springing free and hitting your cheek.

"worship it."

and that's exactly what you do. your mouth quickly presses kisses to the base and the tip of your nose skims along the length as you continue to have your lips pucker wetly along each of the protruding veins of his cock.

"no one else's cock is as glorious as yours, captain," you whisper out. how would you really know when his was the first and only you've ever had the pleasure of seeing? even if you had foresight, you know that your statement would reign true for all of eternity.

for the first time in weeks, levi chuckles. his long fingers run through your hair and he pulls you away gently.

"good girl." your eyes widen and you gaze up at him with confusion again. no... he's never like this and things are getting weird ㅡ scary, even.

muted footsteps indicate that he's walking towards where your feet are and that's where the mattress dips around you and you turn to look at him, but a stern hand keeps your head where it is, facing the mirror.

"i want you to watch yourself take my cock, cadet."

gripping the base of his length, he parts your legs with his other hand, fingers lingering at the flesh that is confined by the leather straps that decorate your limbs. a single digit swipes the petals in between your legs and he smiles fondly at the wetness that easily glides onto his skin. even when he isn't being kind, you're ready for him as if you truly were made for him and all his desires.

kneeling in between your parted limbs, he teases his tip right at your entrance by letting it slip in, then out, and back in again until he feels the tightening of the ring of muscle. when he's sure that he won't slip out if he moves, his torso lowers until it's pressed against your back, his cheek pressed against the side of your head. keeping with the theme of tenderness, he turns so his lips brush against your cheek, then your ear. he hasn't even started and your blood is pumping so loudly, so hard, in your ears, cherub cheeks filled with colour.

"look at the way," he starts to push the rest of his length in, "your eyes start to close when i go in. then," without warning, he slams inside of you and smirks, "at how your lips part like that."

with one hand spread around your neck and tightening around it, he uses the other to grab your hair, using both as leverage when he starts to pound into you over and over. each time he pistons his hips towards you, he makes sure he's putting pressure on your ass so you feel the burn his hands left not too long ago.

"the perfect little toyㅡ no, my perfect little toy. so fucking eager to distract a senior officer and drive him crazy." each of his words are enunciated with a thrust into the deepest crevice of your velvet walls. the wet warmth is ever so inviting and he has no intention of parting with them any time soon. "i'll fuck your brains out tonight so you can keep your hands to yourself for a few days at the very list, you annoying little brat."

it's hard for you to keep your eyes open as they roll to the back of your head, your mouth parted and inviting. your airways are freed when he shoves two fingers onto your tongue and all the way in, pressing down just to hear his favourite gagging noises.

after weeks of neglect, you find yourself embarrassingly close to climax and you debate if it's worth pretending that you didn't when you do, but he knows you too well for you to ever get away with something like that, so you opt to do the next best thing: whining as quietly as you can while trying not to cough around his digits. levi feels it too, the vice of your pussy growing almost suffocating now.

"good girl. come on my cock and from my cock alone." you nod eagerly and keep your eyes open this time, looking at him from the mirror; even with making indirect contact, you want to turn and shy away, but he doesn't let you. his wet fingers now grab ahold of your chin and he growls as he bucks his hips with an almost violent manner, drops of sweat trailing down the sides of his face.

his request is so easily met and you struggle to have one of your numb arms wriggle out from underneath you so you can cover your mouth just in time for the loud, wanton moan of his name to be muffled behind your palm.

at the same time, levi can feel the smothering, wet heat of your pussy start to try and milk him, so he relishes in the feeling, letting your body take the lead this time as he spills inside of you with a stuttering thrust and feral growl. with the last remnants of his strength, he keeps your head up and makes you watch as he dips in for a kiss to the corner of your mouth where he lingers for a moment to catch his breath. the proximity isn't unwelcome, but it's new; he's never been this close to you ever.

"wash up, then sleep." though his body screams at him to stay down, he knows that he'll never get quality rest if he stays stained with your nectar all over him. you follow his lead when he gets up and when he walks into the bathroom built into his room, you stand outside of it to wait for your turn.

"oi, are you coming in or what?"

from the slowly steaming room, he pokes his head out towards you with annoyance clear in his eyes. no... something must be wrong... he never allows you to shower with him. you want to object, to do things normally for the sake of normalcy, but captain levi's loud sigh and his urgent hands unclasping the leather from your body forbid it. he drags you into the washroom and you clean yourself off as he does the same, in silence.

for the first time, you rest in levi's bed for the night. you tried to argue that your roommates would notice your absence, but the captain was adamant that everyone knows of your duties to clean and that it won't be suspicious if you were gone. sleep comes easily; how could it not when you're breathing in his comforting scent and in the comfort of thicker, softer sheets than your own?

you drift off slowly, like a raft floating farther and farther away from shore. one thing breaks your trip to slumber, but not enough to wake you up.

"if i don't come back after tomorrow, don't do anything reckless."

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

functioning normally gets more difficult with every day that levi has to pretend not to notice you or the way your teeth abuse your lower lip whenever he's around. seeing you in the hallway when no one else present is the perfect opportunity for him to trap you and press a kiss to your ever-so-inviting mouth, but he holds back for your sake. it isn't fair to either of you, but levi was willing to bite the bullet for the both of you. it wouldn't be much of a blow if erwin or hange found out — they both have their own cadets on leashes; no, he's mostly worried about the mess you'd be tangled up in without your knowledge just by being associated with him.

there's a big target on his back and too many people with darts that would love to see him die a fatal death. any attachments would only be used against him and you're the last person he wants caught in the crossfire.

when erwin gave the battle plan for the next expedition and orders for levi to join, even with his leg hardly even able to function, he knew that something about this mission was off — there was a desperation in erwin's voice he only ever rarely heard.

this time, your survival was in levi's hands. though erwin didn't specify that any part of it would be life-threatening, it wasn't too hard to read between the lines. he spent the whole night debating what to do, pondering if your life was worth still roaming the earth during such an unstable time.

it was a gamble and levi hates relying on luck — that's erwin's thing, not his.

subpar skills on the battlefield, average cleaning abilities, breathtaking smile, golden thumb when it comes to gardens, two left feet, the capacity to suck one's soul out of their body through their dick... the pros heavily outweigh your cons.

still teetering on either side of the fence is how you walk in on him and when he sees you in your uniform, he feels his chest clench only a bit, but it's enough for him to throw the dice.

he won't let you say goodbye to him on the battlefield.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

when you come to, the room is already empty and you clutch the empty side of the bed with your fingers, sighing longingly. with the small hope that maybe the captain went out for a personal trip, you look over the corner of the bed, only to be met with disappointment and a clean floor.

captain levi's pained voice comes back to you throughout the day as you clean the deserted headquarters. having been asleep when he and the other cadets left, you have no idea when they plan to come back or what their mission is this time around.

if he doesn't come back...? the only scenario you can imagine where captain levi doesn't return alive is if the entire survey corps is massacred and driven extinct. if that happens, could you follow through with what he asked of you? a life without his outbursts or rolling eyes directed at you... having to charge into battle without the comforting presence of humanity's best soldier on your side; it seems pointless.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

two, then three days go by and it's difficult not to let your thoughts go downhill. the only thing keeping you from losing your sanity is the unlimited access you have to levi's room. of course, you don't dig into any of his personal belongings or space, only staying there to sleep and scribble a few letters addressed to him at his desk.

the first is angry. you scold him for even saying such a stupid thing, for subjecting you to such an impossible thought. you pour out your soul and tell him that you won't be able to follow his last command and if he has a problem with that, he'd better get ready to come back from the dead to haunt you for it.

several pieces of paper reiterate the same thoughts over and over, but with the last scrap left, you decide to write down the things you could never say out loud. you tell him that the only reason you wouldn't be able to live your life as normal without him is because your life wouldn't be worth living if you can't see him anymore. as much as you hate to admit it, your life is in his hands and there's nothing you look forward to more than his voice every morning, no matter how exasperated it is. the last words you write down tell him that it's been a great honour to serve him in both the survey corps and in his bed, and that you love him.

that night, tears slowly drip down the side of your face as you try to drift to sleep.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

tonight's dream is so vibrant, so colourful. levi's cheeks are flushed and he's smiling widely as he holds your hand in his, lifting it up to kiss the back of your palm. there's no words exchanged between you both, but there's no need. you embrace him tightly, squeezing his short, but strong frame and he holds you back for the first time. his nose nestles just above your ear to press a kiss there and you spend the rest of your time together in each other's embrace.

"i love you," you whisper, pulling back to look at him.

"i love you, too," he replies before you wake up with a jolt and tears still leaking from your eyes.

at least in your dreams, he loves you back.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

basking in the sun's warmth, you take more time than you should to get out of bed. the only thing that pushes you to put your pants on is the sound of horses whinnying, indicating the arrival of the survey corps.

the only thing you're able to get on are your pants and shirt before you run out the door, your leather straps messily left on the floor by the captain's bed. you wait outside the headquarters with an eager smile, but it's wiped away quickly when you see the diminished number of scouts that are headed towards you. blood is matted on almost everyone's faces and their disheartened expressions.

your feet drag you to where the first wagon rests and you gasp at the sight of commander erwin, one side of his body drenched in his blood.

"oh god," you whisper, hands shaking heavily as you get up to fetch the nearest doctor in the village. your words are just a blubbered mess, but your uniform speaks for you enough as the doctor follows you to where your commander is unconscious, just barely breathing.

the rest of the survivors aren't doing any better. you carefully scan each familiar face, but you choke up with every name you tick off your list of acquaintances because that just means the others didn't survive. you check once, twice, then one more time to be sure.

no... no, no, no, no. your chest starts hurting as if your heart is being ripped out. where is he? you look around again, but you already know the answer; captain levi is nowhere to be found.

this is no place for you to fall apart.. you know this, and you gather the broken pieces of your heart as you begin helping the other cadets with the corpses they were able to salvage on the wagons. denial is how you cope for now, putting on a brave face as you help carry each lifeless body over to the field for inspection and final respects.

only by nightfall is each body accounted for. you know the names and hometowns of all the cadets, but the numbers don't seem to be adding up. a handful of your friends aren't here and neither is the captain. rather than ask the already dejected cadets that are around you, you head in early towards the captain's room with tears filling your eyes, the feeling of a knife twisting in your chest making a comeback.

his last words to you come back at full volume, echoing in your head as you spiral into insanity. your body rests at the edge of his bed where you're folded in half with your head in your hands.

he knew. that's why he let you stay that night, why he said what he did. he knew this would be one of the hardest hitting missions and he made you stay behind so you would be safe. are you really any safer with him gone? he was the only soldier that held the fate of humanity in their hands and now that he's gone, the human race's extinction is only a matter of time.

for the second night in a row, you cry yourself to sleep on your captain's bed, despite any consequences that may come.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

"oi, get that filthy clothes off my bed right fucking now."

it was nice having dreams where he was softer, much kinder to you, but you know that the real levi is so much closer to this one and you're masochistic enough to say that you've missed it. you don't see him, though...just the brightness behind your lids as you feel the sun shining on your face; his voice is spot-on with none of the echoing like your dreams usually have.

a large hand shoves at your shoulder and your eyes shoot open; no — this is real.

you look up at him with the tracks of your tears still staining your face... only for fresh salty drops to start dripping down like rain.

"captain!" and everything that comes after is a sobbing, muffled mess as you sit up and throw yourself at him, arms wrapped tightly around his middle. you expect to be thrown off in seconds, but you savour what closeness you can, taking in the mix of his scent mixed in with hints of bitter copper.

his arms do touch you, just not in the way you expected. they embrace your shoulders and pull you closer to him, squeezing you in an equally tight embrace. your eyes flutter open to try and see his face through your blurry vision and he slowly sinks as much as he can beside the bed despite his injured leg begging him not to, cupping your cheek in his palm as a tender gesture.

"did you really think i wasn't going to return?" he tries to pull of an offended scoff.

"you were the one being weird and saying weird stuff! you can't blame me— and then commander erwin was dying a-and you weren't with everyone else! what was i supposed to think?!"

"it was just a precaution, but a necessary one, i now gather. you'd tracked mud into my living quarters, there's dirt and blood on my sheets, and you leave these silly little notes laying around my desk that could possibly expose us. you're too clumsy to be left alone."

you inhale deeply at the mention of your letters and you stiffen visibly. no... he read them? that means he's been in the room for a while before waking you up? your face reddens considerably and you turn away from him in both shock and embarrassment.

he won't let you go this time, though. his blankets are already filthy anyways, so he climbs into bed beside you and lays you down on his chest, a hand timidly stroking through your hair.

"i wonder if erwin would be entertained by the fact that you're so feisty towards me or if he'd start regret making me his guinea pig when he reads through the last one." levi pulls the crumpled papers from his pocket and grins — an extremely rare sight — as he holds all of them up.

with a whine, you reach up to try and snatch them, but he's too quick.

"no, you left these on my desk. they're mine." he shoves them back into the crevice of his pants, obviously smug. for once, he embraces the feeling of his uneven heartbeat and your warmth spreading through his entire body. "but for the record, i haven't had as much enjoyment serving the survey corps until you arrived." he's reciprocating the last line of sentiment you wrote to him, but the very last part goes unsaid: he loves you, too.

[mazuwii]

For your request thing, I’m thinking something with Porco that follows the story line x reader when in Marley (around like part one of season 4) because people always write Porco in AUs and I think we should have more in aot universe kind of story? (Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’m pretty high right now. Tbh I’m happy with any story with a Porco x reader would just like some almost canon adjescent storyline

I get it, I don’t see it too often either and I don’t usually write in canon verse so once again apologies if the chapter comes out funky.

You weren’t usually this impatient. You’re friends would describe you as the calm one of the warriors. The one who would help out with a smile no matter how hard times get.

Yet at the moment, you were completely out of character, begging and pacing by the door of the medical room in which Porco was in. During the battles amongst millions, he got badly injured and it was taking a while for his healing to fix all his wounds.

“Ma’am, he needs to rest”-

“Can I just see him? I promise I won’t do anything- I just need to see him…”

At the sound of high boots clicking against the dusty hospital floor, you turned around to find Pieck limping towards you with a smile. “Hey, it’s fine, just let her in.” She reassured the nurse whom gave you a reluctant look.

Under Pieck’s kind and motherly gaze, she nodded silently, opening the door. You turned to her and held her hand in gratitude. “Thanks Pieck, really.”

“No problem, take it easy though, won’t you?”

“Of course!” You bowed to her and rushed inside the dark room. It was a foggy day today and it started to unexpectedly rain around the afternoon, so you were a bit dank from it all.

The door shut behind you, leaving only you and the unconscious man limp against the bed. He had stopped healing, his skin gone back to the smooth tan that you fell in love with. You sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, hunching your back in exhaustion. It took forever for them to let you in, and now that you’ve seen him you could rest.

His motionless hand was by his hip, inviting you to hold it. Upon wrapping your smaller hands around his, you realised how cold it was. So you sandwiched it between your two palms and massaged it, hoping to warm him up at least a little.

Due to the sudden warmth and movement, his eyes weakly fluttered open, his emerald eyes rolling to your leaning figure, his eyebrows softening as you rubbed at his knuckles.

The tingles you were giving him had overwhelmed him to the point he closed his eyes again, his worries coming out in a full exhale. “You’re awake?” You whispered, nudging closer towards him.

He hummed and worked up a smile for you. His eyes were softer during these moments, not having to keep his guard up. “Come here.” Hehuskily mumbled.

“I can’t. You’ve just woken up- what if I trigger something?”

“Shut up…” he grunted and propped himself up against the headboard, you pestered him to lay back down but he refused, saying nothing but opening his arms up. “Come on.” He twitched his fingers as a motion to say, hurry up.

You did so anyway, gently resting against him. “It’s bullshit.” You said, “Why do the people have to suffer for the shit the government does?” Porco only sighed as you continued on your words of hatred, his fingers threading through your hair.

“I hate this world.”

“I do too.” He kissed your head. “But I’m sure it’ll be fine if we focus on the present.”

“That’s the issue, they only focus on the past and the future.” You sniffled. Porco couldn’t really say or do anything. You were right. And until someone powerful steps in, this cycle of war would only continue and claim the lives of those who had dreams and plans to live.

[sevendeadlywhispers]

7Seals

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Chapter 5*

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• Previous Chapter: Chapter Four Next Chapter: Chapter Six

• New chapters every Thursday •Content: Levi Ackerman x OC female. Slow Burn! Canon verse!

• Word Count: 1.6k • Warning: This content may not be suitable for all readers. If you've watched all of AOT then you will understand that the show handles heavy subjects such as abuse, racism, violence, and other heavy subjects. This fanfiction will also have the same heavy themes. Chapters with heavy themes will be marked with * at each chapter.

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The air in Alexander's quarters hung heavy, once again I felt like an uninvited guest. His desk, cluttered with maps and scouting reports, he sat there staring at it all not saying a word to me. As I stood there, the room felt smaller, suffocating under the weight of unsaid words. It was time I finally stood up for myself.

"So, are you going to ignore me or are we going to talk about it like adults?" I finally broke the tense silence, eyes fixed on Alexander, who sat at his desk, avoiding my gaze.

"What is there to talk about, Iris?" he replied, finally looking up at me. His eyes, once warm, now held a cold distance.

"Oh, I don't know," I retorted sarcastically. "Maybe all the crap you said yesterday in Erwin's office?"

"Everything I said was true. I don't know what else you want me to say," Alexander stated, his tone unyielding.

"Maybe congratulations? Can't you be proud of me?" I shot back, frustration seeping into my voice.

"Proud?" He laughed bitterly. "Why would I be proud? If anything, I'm disappointed in you. I'm the best captain you will ever have. You're going to die by his side just for some title."

"You're just envious it's not you," I accused, desperation creeping into my voice.

"Like I'd want to work under that idiot," Alexander retorted, his bitterness palpable.

"Why are you so bitter?" I cried out, my emotions getting the best of me. "You've been so uptight the moment he entered the regiment."

"I'm keeping my guard up. Why should I trust a thug?" Alexander defended, his walls firmly in place.

"He's not a bad guy, Alexander. If you just took a moment out of your day to talk to him like he's a human being, you'll see," I pleaded, hoping to break through the barriers he had built.

"Oh, and when did you find the time to have a heart-to-heart with him? Sneaking out with that little rat when I'm not around?" Alexander accused, getting uncomfortably close.

"Don't you dare lie to me. I know you guys were together the day the wall fell."

"What? You have people spying on me now?" I scoffed. "I showed him around town. I treated him like a human because none of you will. That's all."

"So, you are cheating on me with that rat," Alexander laughed bitterly. "How embarrassing."

I rolled my eyes at his extreme accusation.

"You know what, Alexander?" I retorted. "You're embarrassing. Treating someone like they're scum, like you're better than them."

"You're not denying that you cheated on me," he argued.

"I'm not doing this with you right now," I said, attempting to walk away. However, he grabbed my wrist, yanking me back towards him. The painful grip on my wrist made my irritation flare.

"Iris, we need to talk about this, remember?" he demanded, his eyes searching for any sign of guilt in mine. It was like he was mocking me.

"No, we don't," I replied, trying to pull away. His grip tightened, and I winced, the physical pain mirroring the emotional turmoil.

"Stop avoiding the truth, Iris," he insisted, frustration clouding his expression. But I couldn't handle this now; the accusations, the hurtful words—he was pushing me too far.

"I shoulda known, you do have a thing for superiors."

"Let go of me, Alexander," I asserted, my tone firm. But he held on, and the tension in the room escalated, the air thick with unresolved issues.

"I didn't say you could go anywhere," he said, forcefully pulling me closer, his grip on my wrist unyielding.

"Let go, Alexander," I insisted, attempting to retrieve my arm, but his hold only tightened.

"You tell me right now." His voice, once firm, escalated in volume. "Did you cheat on me?"

His eyes darkened, and he inched closer, the anger palpable in the air.

"Alexander," I pleaded, meeting his angered gaze. "You know I would never do that."

Feeling small under his towering presence, his eyes bore into mine with undisguised disgust. His anger radiated through my wrist, a painful reminder of his grip.

"You fucking whore," he spat at me, the words hitting like a physical blow.

Tears swelled in my eyes as he regarded me with disdain. I couldn't speak, couldn't move. This feeling was all too familiar.

"Hey! You guys in there?" A voice interrupted from the other side of Alexander's door.

"Levi's looking for Iris!" Hange's voice rang out after a few knocks.

"Yeah, she's with me. She'll just be a second," Alexander called out with a sudden calmness, a stark contrast to his recent anger. But just as quickly, he reverted to being mad at me.

His voice lowered, and his grip tightened even more than I thought was possible.

"Dry those tears," he growled. "Lover boy is waiting for you."

He dropped my wrist, and I continued to stare at him. Locking eyes, I wiped away my tears and left his room without a word.

"Finally!" Hange exclaimed as I stepped out. "Levi and I have been looking for you all over." They rambled on, but their words were distant echoes in my mind.

I couldn't focus on anything Hange was saying. My thoughts lingered on what had transpired in Alexander's room.

"Hey, you!" Hange snapped their fingers in my face. "Why weren't you guys at breakfast?"

"Well," I started, attempting to find the right words.

"Oh!" Hange's voice squeaked. "I get it. You guys needed some alone time, huh?" They nudged me playfully, winking to imply more than I cared to entertain.

"Yeah, sure," I laughed it off, not in the mood for Hange's teasing or having to explain myself. No one needs to know.

"Well, Levi has been looking for you all morning. He's out in the barn cleaning equipment. I'd hurry if I were you," Hange advised.

"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled, feeling defeated.

"Also, find a good excuse to tell Levi why you're late!" Hange yelled after me as I walked away. I threw a thumbs up without turning back, my mind still clouded with the turmoil from Alexander's room.

The walk from the mess hall to the barn felt like a journey through the corridors of my own doubts. The emptiness around me mirrored the void Alexander's emotions had created. He, my supposed confidant, had become my biggest adversary.

"Your late for training, Aldridge," Levi's flat voice cut through my thoughts, making me jump. Another man's stern eyes replaced the lingering anger in my mind.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize the time," I replied, unable to meet Levi's gaze. Another set of emotionless eyes felt like too much to bear.

"After every breakfast, I expect you to be in the barn," Levi stated coldly, his tone cutting through the air.

I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes as he spoke. The weight of judgment, both from him and Alexander, pressed upon me.

"Get ready to spar on the training field," Levi ordered. I nodded, taking off my coat and rolling up my sleeves.

"Tch," I heard from behind me.

"What?" I turned to Levi, confused.

"Disgusting," Levi muttered, picking up my coat and throwing it at me. "Hang it up properly."

"Oh, right," I mumbled, taking my coat and hanging it beside Levi's on the wall. As I followed him to the training field, the weight of training felt heavier than usual.

On the field, the new recruits ran through their paces under Shadis's watchful eye. Nothing had changed with that man. He remained an ever-present figure, an unwavering observer of our struggles.

I felt a firm grip on my wrist, followed by a force that shoved me face-first into the dirt. The ground met my face, covering it in a layer of dust. Levi's presence loomed over me, an unyielding force.

"You would be dead right now if I was a real attacker. Pay attention," Levi's voice cut through my disorientation, his words echoing in my ear. I winced at the pain radiating from my wrist, but I refused to let it consume me.

Levi released his grip, allowing me to pick myself up, determination flickering in my eyes. Before I could ready myself for a counterattack, another strike found its mark. My feet were swept from beneath me, and I crashed back to the ground, gazing up at Levi.

"Get up," he commanded, his voice sharp. "Fight me again. We aren't stopping until you pin me."

The challenge hung in the air, and I pushed myself off the ground, fueled by a relentless determination. I don't need another man doubting me. Levi hand picked me for some reason right? Or was it actually Erwin who picked me?

Why was I even picked? I can't fight, Alexander's right. I'm going to dead as soon as we step outside those walls. The only reason why I'm alive is because of Alex.

I felt my body lunge forward as I attacked the Levi with a ferocity that surprised even herself. Each strike was a release of the frustration and hurt. My wrist burned more but my mind just kept wandering.

Alexander is a petty man, just how long is he going to be mad? Will I have to leave the squad for him to forgive me? It was something I was scared to face. I fight titans for a living yet I'm scared of the man I love.

"You're wasting energy," Levi remarked, as he pinned me to the ground once again.

"A distracted soldier is a dead one. Clear your mind or you'll end up proving that shit bag right."

"My mind is clear, Levi." I said pushing myself off the ground.

"It's Captain." Levi's expression remained impassive.

"I wanted capable soldiers, not ones blinded by personal issues. Get your head straight, or you won't last long."

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