#apparently even 2 meals is restricting ???? im..... shook

[maxxtheterrible]

Had my first appointment w an anorexia therapist today and she said the minimum number of meals is 3 🤯🤯🤯

[nayeon-sadly-owns-me]

Another Moonsun fanfic

Title: The Wedding

Pairing: Moonsun

Word Count: 9307

-64 Days until the wedding-

              Moonbyul felt sick as she re-read the letter for what felt like the hundredth time. Her eyes lost focus on the fine cursive print and her hands shook, crumpling up the letter in the process.

 The fine cursive read the words, ‘I hear by invite you to Kim Yongsun’s and Kyung Wook wedding…’. She couldn’t believe what she was reading. Yongsun couldn’t be getting married. No this had to be a mistake. Moonbyul frantically searched around for her phone, her mind seemed to completely lose track of all rational thought as she didn’t even bother to check her charger. It took 5 minutes of intense panicking over not being able to find her phone before she had the realization that it was charging. When she went to retrieve it, she saw that she had a text from Wheein. It was her casually bringing out going to lunch. Moonbyul wasn’t feeling very ‘casual’ at that moment and immediately clicked the call button. Before Wheein could pick up Moonbyul cut her off with a mixture of incomprehensive words and irregular sounds.

              “Moonbyul! Calm down. What’s wrong?” They had known each other for years. 9 years at that point. Moonbyul was able to recognize that Wheein didn’t sound confuse but rather concern. “Is it true that Yongsun is getting married?” She didn’t want to know the answer. She felt like she was going to pass out during the long period of silence that came after the question. She heard Wheein sigh over the line, “Yes it’s true.” Moonbyul’s heart sank and she suddenly felt like she couldn’t support herself anymore. She unhooked the phone and sat on her bed with a soft thud. “Moonbyul it’s been 2 and a half years.” Wheein felt pity for her. She knew that Moonbyul was still in love with Yongsun. She felt even worse when she thought about how Yongsun wasn’t completely over Moonbyul either. “I just can’t believe it. How could she just move on and marry someone else?” Her words were empty. She was expecting tears to be overflowing, but none were there.

              “If it makes you feel better, Hyejin and I tried to make her reconsider. We don’t think it’s a good idea.” Wheein’s voice trailed at the end. “Then why didn’t you guys try harder?” Moonbyul’s voice was considerably harder than Wheein’s. Wheein made sure to send the attitude right back. “Because she thinks she is happy and it’s not our job to stop it. Moonbyul we know this isn’t easy for you to comprehend but you can’t put the blame on us. You should have been the one telling her no. Not us.” The line grew quiet from the sudden outburst. “Im sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Since the split between Yongsun and Moonbyul, Moonbyul stopped interacting with them as a group. The break up was messy to say the least. No one had cheated but god it felt like someone did with the way both girl’s pride made them avoid each other at all costs. Hyejin and Wheein felt like they were constantly caught in the middle with who to spend time with. “You’re right. I should have been there. I should have fought harder.” There were the tears. It started off slow and then gradually built until she couldn’t see what was in front of her from crying so hard.

              “Im going to call Hyejin and we’re going to come over okay?” Wheein made sure to show extra affection. She knew she had to comfort her friend. She had kept the wedding details a secret from Moonbyul out of fear that something would happen. She had been prepared for the day that Moonbyul found out. Both girls lived 5 minutes away from Moonbyul and were at the door before Moonbyul got her act together. Instead of waiting to be let in, they keyed in the passcode and let themselves in. “Moonbyul!” Hyejin called out to see if she was upstairs or downstairs. They heard a weak response from upstairs and paced themselves up the stairs. They found Moonbyul crying into her blanket that was upright against her legs. Hyejin was the first to wrap her arms around her and let Moonbyul cry on her shoulder. Wheein took her other side and made sure to whip the excess tear and snot off her face. “How long have you guys known?” The question was weak. Hyejin and Wheein had to take a moment of looking at each other before they knew how to answer it. “We have known for a few months.” They felt ashamed of their answer, but they didn’t want to lie to her. Not when she is a sobbing mess. Moonbyul should have felt furious at the fact that they kept it from her, but she couldn’t find the strength to do so.

              “I don’t even have the capacity to be angry at you two idiots.” Moonbyul tried to crack a smile but it vanished as quickly as it came. “We’re so sorry. We just didn’t know how to bring it up.” It wasn’t a lie, mentioning the Y word around Moonbyul was an unspoken don’t do. They remember the time that they had informed Moonbyul of Yongsun dating someone new. It was a disaster that they wish they didn’t have to see. “Well I’m sure anything would have been better than to get a wedding invitation from the woman herself.” Wheein bounced off Moonbyul in disbelief at what she had just said. “Wait she sent you one?” Wheein and Hyejin had helped Yongsun with deciding on who to invite, they had been careful not to mention Byul. Yongsun was the one to mention her. Wheein recalled that Yongsun had been debating on inviting her but had decided against it. “I don’t want to put you two in any awkward position if we just start fighting in the middle of the reception.” Yongsun joked before moving on. Wheein and Hyejin gave a polite laughing response.

              “I guess she wanted to rub it in my face that I messed up.” That was another issue of their breakup. Moonbyul took full responsible even though it wasn’t all her fault. Yongsun and Moonbyul met when they were 16, it was love at first sight for both parties. They had an intense fiery love that came from having to keep it all a secret from the rest of the world, minus their two best friends. They were each other’s first love, first kiss, first time. Each time they fought, they made love harder. In every sense of the word, they were each other’s soulmates. 2 years into the relationship, Moonbyul became more obvious with her desire for the other girl while in public settings. She was tired of having to keep everything a secret. She hated lying to her family who constantly made jokes about how she was a late bloomer and would eventually meet a guy she liked. She had found her person. She wanted the world to know that she was in love with Kim Yongsun.

              Yongsun wasn’t as brave. She was fine with their incognito relationship. She was fine with pretending that she found boys in her class attractive. On the days that Moonbyul pouted about wanting to come out, Yongsun would try to make it up to her by trying her hardest at pleasing her in bed. Sex can only go so far, but they made it work. They were 21 and long done with their studies. Yongsun wanted to work in human resources as an activist that can help others in need. Moonbyul wanted to become a successful dancer now that she no longer needed to satisfy her parents request for her getting an education. They had begun sharing an apartment by the age of 20, nearing 4 years into the relationship. Moonbyul had gradually gotten better about expressing her feelings as time went on. Yongsun got better at listening, rather than shutting Moonbyul out. They had matured a lot since the beginning. They began to have inside jokes of marriage during the times they cooked meals together in just their t-shirt and underwear. Although it was just jokes, they really felt like they could make it a reality if they just left Korea.

              Leaving Korea was apparently a big issue for Moonbyul. She was very close to her family and absolutely loathed the idea of leaving them. Yongsun didn’t quite have that relationship with her family. She wanted to leave with Moonbyul and never look back. During nights where they talked until 3 am, Yongsun would bring up her dream of moving to America. “I know you want to leave. But I can’t. My family needs me. My siblings need me.” Moonbyul knew that whenever the subject came up, she would be in the dog house. Yongsun would turn away from her and put distance between them. “Living in Korea is so limited. I want to be able to hold your hand in public but the thought of doing it here makes me scared out of my mind.” Yongsun wanted to leave the conservative nation behind. She hated the restrictions and wanted to just be free of it all. Moonbyul knew all too well the feeling of wanting to be herself freely, it’s just the price was too great for her. Those were the nights where they only mumbled good night. There would be no grins, no cuddling, just an empty space between them.

              Things began to change when Yongsun applied for an internship in America when they were 22. Her parents fully supported it because they saw it as Yongsun finally heading out into the world to be her own person. Moonbyul hated the fact that Yongsun was leaving, but she didn’t have the heart to express her emotions. Backtracking. This was the beginning of them backtracking on all the improvements they made over the years. Yongsun pleaded and begged Moonbyul to come with her, but she refused. She tried to keep the mentality that they would be able to overcome the distance. She should have realized that it wasn’t going to work. The timezones were rough on them both. Moonbyul was willing to lose sleep to just get a 15 minute skype call, but eventually it wasn’t enough. The internship was only supposed to last a year but it felt so much longer to the girls. During their time apart, they also grew apart. Skype calls grew less frequent, and talking in general grew less frequent.

              It’s not that they were over each other, it’s just they got very busy. Moonbyul started to work at a dance studio as an instructor and Yongsun had her internship that proved to be way more strenuous than she thought. By the time the year was up, their relationship was too. Moonbyul could remember the call as if it had been made yesterday. She could remember Yongsun’s choked up voice as she said she couldn’t do it anymore. Moonbyul tried desperately to think of a way to stop her from ending things, but in the end, she didn’t. She didn’t say a single thing. That response alone fueled Yongsun’s belief that their relationship had come to an end. They were both so heartbroken. Yongsun took her broken hearted feelings and incorporated them into her work. Moonbyul was less healthy about it and found that her passion for dancing had sizzled along with her relationship. Although Wheein and Hyejin had missed Yongsun terrible over the year that she was gone, they both understood that at the end of the day she would always be there for them. Although they were heartbroken at the split, they could see it coming a mile away. They did what they could to comfort the girl, but they recognized the fact that only time would be able to heal the wound that Moonbyul was experiencing.

              When Yongsun arrived back in Korea, she was greeted by her family and the two girls. No Moonbyul in sight. The reality had set in for Yongsun, their relationship was really over. From then on, Yongsun strove to get over the slightly taller female. It didn’t take long for her to meet her current fiancé after her discovery that she was actually bisexual. He was tall, handsome, and everything she could have wanted in a guy. There was only one problem, a problem that Yongsun has continuously denied to herself about. Kyung Wook wasn’t Moon Byul Yi. He was nice and all around decent in bed. But, his touches didn’t ignite her entire being the way Moonbyul’s did. She wanted to rid herself completely of the other girl, so she pushed the relationship further to forget her. Of course, she wasn’t aware she was doing this. However, Wheein and Hyejin were. It’s funny how they always knew what was going on, they were smart like that. Although they were smart, they were also naïve in the way they handled things. They found themselves regretting the fact that they let Yongsun go so far as to accept Wook’s proposal before intervening.

              So, there they were present day, making food for a broken-down girl who was still caught up in her emotions for someone else about to get married. “Im not going. I can’t.” Moonbyul took a bite out of her eggs but found that she really wasn’t hungry. “No you’re going.” Hyejin’s made sure her perspective was clear. “You’re not over Yongsun. You need closure if you’re going to be able to get passed this.” They were right. To that day, Moonbyul and Yongsun had yet to meet face to face since Yongsun left for America. That was 3 and a half long years of Moonbyul longing to be with the other girl. There were nights where Moonbyul would suddenly have encouraging thoughts about calling Yongsun and begging for her to take her back. Those thoughts would be deflated by the reality that she was now taken by someone else. Her low self-esteem seemed to eat away at her until she felt like she wasn’t good enough to even face her. “She hates me though.” She felt like a child saying that. She was 25 years old for gods sake.

              Hyejin rolled her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “She doesn’t hate you.” Hyejin knew that it was useless to say. Moonbyul would never believe it. Wheein’s patience’s was growing thin and that always ended with an outburst that she would apologize for afterwards. “You want to know if she hates you? Then come to the wedding with us. Talk to her. You’re 25 years old, you’re an adult Moonbyul.” Wheein was down-right pleading for her to listen. She was tired with dealing with all this unnecessary drama. She wanted her friends to be happy and at peace. Hyejin took Moonbyul’s hand into hers. She held Moonbyul’s stare as she spoke softly, “You need to come. Yongsun obviously wants you to come if she sent you an invitation. Look it even has your name on it so you know it wasn’t a mistake.” Hyejin pointed at the invitation with her other hand. Moonbyul felt another surge of emotions overtake her. The realization began to pour into her brain like water leaking from a crack. Yongsun had invited her to her wedding. She didn’t know why Yongsun had invited her, but she invited her.

              “I have to go don’t I.” Her words were so quiet that even Hyejin, who was 2 feet away, could barely hear. “Yes.” Hyejin’s response was short. She was glad that they were able to convince her. Moonbyul opened and closed her mouth, she wanted to speak but the words just weren’t coming to her. “I’m still in love with her.” Was all that manage to stream out from her mouth. It was an obvious given, but it was never spoken out loud until that very moment. “Yes you are.” Hyejin nodded, she looked up at Wheein. There was a new expression on her face. A facial expression that she only used when she was determined. “I think Yongsun is still in love with you too.” Wheein gulped at hearing those words. Those words were dangerous. “What are you talking about? She’s about to get married?” Moonbyul pouted at her own words more so than the confusion of the statement. “Yeah but she doesn’t look as happy as when she was with you. She is settling Moonbyul.” Wheein intervened before Hyejin could say anymore. “I think what she is saying is that Yongsun hasn’t had as easy of a time as you think.” She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, she was making things worse.

              “Well it’s not like I can go and convince her to leave Kyung for me.” The statement was supposed to be taken lightly and discarded after it was said. Instead, it perked up Hyejin and made Wheein’s eyes go wide. “Actually…” Hyejin began only to be stopped by Wheein. “We cannot support this Hyejin. Yongsun is our friend too.” This felt extremely odd for all 3 of them. Wheein was used to be being the puppy, not being the grown up keeping all the children at bay. “We can’t let her get married to someone that she isn’t fully in love with either. That’s not what being a good friend is about.” Hyejin took a bite out of her piece of bacon, she sent a determining glare towards Wheein. It was her move. Wheein’s resolve crumbled as she snatched the rest of the bacon out of Hyejin’s hand to eat. Usually Hyejin would loudly complain about her stolen food, but this time she couldn’t help but smirk at the victory that she had just earned. “Guys I don’t think I could even break them up even if I wanted to.” Moonbyul tried to defend her case but found the necessary words unable to come out. “That’s why you’re coming to the wedding. You two are going to talk and if theres something between you two..” Hyejin’s voice trailed, Wheein was now sitting next to Hyejin with her palm up against her forehead. She really loathed the idea of going behind Yongsun’s back. Is it really going behind her back though if she was the one inviting Moonbyul in the first place?

              “I still don’t agree with it. But maybe Yongsun feels like she needs closure too.” Wheein chose her words carefully. She didn’t want to get Moonbyul’s hopes up. “Well that settles it. You’re going.” The wedding was going to take place in America, where Yongsun was hoping to move to along with her fiancé. Awhile after the split, Moonbyul had a sit-down discussion with her family. She revealed her sexual orientation and even her past relationship with Yongsun. It took them awhile to process it, but gradually they opened up to it. Her mother felt more heartbroken over the fact that Moonbyul neglected her own happiness for their sake. It was because of her family’s overwhelming support that she realized that she could leave and be okay. Her family would always be there for her, no matter how far apart they were. She regretted the fact that she didn’t tell them sooner. Maybe she could have gone to America to follow Yongsun? Maybe they would still be together? Life was full of a lot of maybes.

-25 Days before the wedding-

              Every morning, Moonbyul woke up to the knowledge that it was one day closer to Yongsun’s wedding. Her resolve of seeing Yongsun again waivered throughout each day. Wheein and Hyejin did what they could to cease the anxious blonde but there was only so much they could do. Wheein did something for Moonbyul though, she asked Yongsun why she invited her after all. Yongsun responded that she didn’t really know why she invited her. She just felt like she had to. Her answer left Wheein in a desired state to know more, but Yongsun quickly changed topics to further advance the wedding preparation. Wheein neglected to mention that Moonbyul was actually going to be attending, even after Yongsun made a final comment about how she doubted that she would show anyways. Bitterness still flowed in her words. Clearly she wasn’t over the fact that Moonbyul didn’t fight for her when she came back to Korea. Wheein bit her lip to avoid saying anything. They had agreed that it should be kept a secret because they didn’t want Yongsun freaking out and taking back the invitation.

             Now Yongsun was back in America with a 14 hour time difference between them. This made helping her out with wedding planning much harder, so Yongsun stopped relying on them and more so on professionals. The wedding was going to be beautiful, Wheein wished she could fully enjoy it. With Moonbyul here and Yongsun there, it was hard to remain neutral.

-15 Days before the wedding-

             Moonbyul woke up in a panic, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t fly all the way to America just so she could watch Yongsun be happy with someone else. The thought of watching Yongsun kiss someone else that wasn’t her tormented her enough. Her mind was racing with excuses on why she couldn’t attend. Maybe she could fake a family emergency? Illness? Despite her reasoning, she called Hyejin. If she needed a pep talk, she went to Hyejin. If she needed comfort, she went to Wheein. It was just how things were. Hyejin had been sleeping when Moonbyul called and wasn’t pleased about being woken up. “I can’t do this.” Was the first thing out of her mouth. She could hear a deep sigh and something that sounded like moans from stretching. “Good morning to you too.” Hyejin was use to these calls by now. Every few days Moonbyul would frantically call her to tell her that she couldn’t attend the wedding. Hyejin kept picking up the calls because she was able to recognize that Moonbyul could have easily called Wheein. Wheein would tell her that she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to. But she didn’t. She called Hyejin. The person who would tell her that she was going whether she liked it or not. Maybe she needed constant reassurance? At least Hyejin was patient.

-12 Days before the wedding-

              The girls were a wreck with trying to get flights and hotel rooms booked. Luckily they had managed to convince Moonbyul to get her passport months ago or else that would have been an issue. Yongsun was having her wedding at a fancy hotel and the 3 girls were having issues with coming up with the money to pay for everything.  “We get the cheapest plane tickets and share a single room. Boom problem solved.” Hyejin didn’t mind spending so much time with the other two. The issue was that they had no idea what would happen once they got to America. They had limited English and only knew what they saw on tv. “I still think we should get 2 rooms in case of emergency.” Wheein protested as she knew Hyejin would end up finding someone to sleep with and she didn’t want to come back to a ‘busy’ hotel room. “You think I’d do that?” Hyejin smirked at her. Wheein responded by nodding her head, “Yep you already have.” Moonbyul cut into their banter “Or I can just not go-“This time Hyejin cut her off, “Oh no, you’re going. You have to help us cover the cost of this trip. Besides you already have your outfit.”

               Moonbyul couldn’t retaliate there. A couple of days ago, Wheein and Hyejin had guilted her into going shopping with them. Shopping for a suit to wear to your ex’s wedding was not a way Moonbyul wanted to spend a day off from work. She was a sucker for suits though. She was well aware of how well she looked. That day Moonbyul went overboard and ended up buying new sets of clothing to wear. She had suddenly felt pressured into upping her wardrobe as she didn’t feel satisfied with bringing any of her current clothes. Her friends made sure to remind her of their expensive trip about to be held, but Moonbyul just shrugged off the comments. She didn’t want to admit that her dad had given her money to buy new clothing. Those kinds of details were just embarrassing to mention. After all the clothes were bought, they decided to go over the game plan. They were going to leave a week before the wedding, because of the time zone difference they wanted to give their bodies time to adjust to the time. According to Yongsun, the jet lag was brutal. The flight was a good 15 hours, they decided that they would strategize how they would reunite Yongsun and Moonbyul then.

               Moonbyul cursed at the fact that she was going to be stuck on a stuffy plane for that lengthy period of time. She knew her anxiety was going to be horrendous. The fact that they had to be involved with wedding rehearsals made things worse too. Hyejin and Wheein were both in the wedding, leaving Moonbyul to be by herself during the entire process. Her friends felt bad about it, but what could they do? The next few days resulted in Moonbyul getting little sleep as she packed and unpacked multiple times to make sure that she had what she needed.

-8 Days before the wedding-

                 The girls arrived at their departing gate and Moonbyul swore by her life that she had never felt this nervous in her entire life. The other two rolled their eyes at her antics and just let her be. The plane ride was stressful enough. Moonbyul felt like her energy was on a constant high and Hyejin had to tell her several times to calm down. They went over the festivities that would go along with the wedding. Most of their time before the wedding rehearsals would be spent in preparing the actual wedding itself. They told Moonbyul that she would just have to sit tight and try not to have any heart attacks while they were out and about with Yongsun. They made sure to let Moonbyul know how apologetic they felt about leaving Moonbyul alone throughout the ceremony and the party affairs before and after. It helped a little, but it didn’t slow down the inferno that had developed in her stomach. Moonbyul ended up falling asleep during the last leg of the plane ride. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep, but it was something she welcomed with open arms after not being able to properly sleep the last few days.

                 She woke with a jolt as Wheein ceased shaking Moonbyul awake. “Sorry to wake you up. We’re descending now.” Wheein looked at her sheepishly, she knew that Moonbyul needed the rest. When they had departed, it was noon. According to her watch and math skills, it was 1PM. She felt completely disoriented at the time change. “It’s going to suck when we have to do it again coming back.” Hyejin complained as she rolled her neck to get her blood flowing again. The flight didn’t feel as long as they thought, but maybe that was because of the anxiety each felt. When they do land, Moonbyul rushes off the plane as fast as she was allowed to. She needed to get off the plane and onto solid ground. Once she reached the exit and into the airport departing station, she gasped and bent down. Hyejin and Wheein were quick to her side as they reassured on lookers that she was just feeling anxious from the flight. They helped move her to a seat so they could give Moonbyul a minute to catch her breath and give them time to figure out where to pick up their luggage.

                  “What I wouldn’t give for a translator right now.” Hyejin groaned as she tried to make out the letterings on the signs. Yongsun was the expert on English, not them. With the help of google translate, they were slowly able to decode the letters into their native language and locate their bags. It wasn’t hard to pick out their bags as they were the only remaining ones left. “I was more anxious about whether or not our luggage would get here.” Wheein’s favorite pajamas were in there and the other two knew that it was in their favor that they didn’t lose it. Hyejin had already ordered a cab to take them to their hotel. Throughout the cab ride, Hyejin and Wheein excitedly whispered about how amazing it was that they were in New York City. It was a struggle to communicate with the driver, but they managed somehow. They were also positive that he charged them way more than he was supposed to. They didn’t know better.

                    By the time they were out in front of their hotel, Moonbyul’s wrist watch read 2:32 PM. Yongsun had come up with the brilliant idea of having a translator on hand for the family and friends who spoke little English. Moonbyul couldn’t stop the small smile as she reflected on how Yongsun always thought of others. It fell as soon as she realized that this was it. She was at the hotel. Soon she would be face to face with Yongsun. The thought made her queasy again. Wheein took her hand and held it tightly for support. At least for that moment, Moonbyul was not alone. Because of the translator, they were able to make quick work of getting to their room. They had two queen size mattresses. Moonbyul decided that she would rather not sleep alone so she let the other two bicker about who wanted the spare bed. In the end, they decided that they would take turns sleeping in the bed with Moonbyul. Jet lag was kicking Moonbyul’s ass, but oddly the other two seemed wired up. Their dinner planes had revolved around Wheein and Hyejin leaving to go get some fast food nearby. Moonbyul picked the option to stay in the room where she could be alone with her thoughts.

                  They wanted to argue that leaving the hotel would be good for her, but they decided against it. Of course Moonbyul’s anxiety also got the best of her and she found herself exiting her room and out into the hallway. Moonbyul had changed out of her plane riding clothes and into clothes that fit America’s weather. It was warmer so she put brown kaki’s and a black t-shirt. She also wore a hat because she felt naked without one on. Everything was quiet around her except her thoughts. She wondered what Yongsun was doing right now. Her brain was put onto auto-pilot as she pressed the first floor button and waited for it to take her to her location. Her thoughts rambled on with what she would say if she saw Yongsun. Would she even get alone time to talk to her? She hadn’t even thought about how Yongsun could be too busy to even get remotely close to her. She walked out and turned a corner after reading a sign that signaled where the wedding would be held. Her hands were stuffed in her pocket where her currently useless phone sat. Her hands were wet with perspiration and she quickly had to take them out so she could whip them of the sweat that build up.

                  “Gross” she mumbled to herself. When she looked up, she came face to face with the face that she had traveled thousands of miles to see. Yongsun had been looking at her with her mouth open and her eyes wise. Moonbyul’s mouth suddenly felt very dry and she began to feel light headed. She wasn’t ready to see her. “What are you doing here?” Yongsun broke the silence with a question that was just barely loud enough for Moonbyul to hear. “I-I was invited” her words stuttered and she silently hated herself for feeling so affected by Kim Yongsun. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and her heart was beating loudly for her to hear it through her ears. Yongsun was visible shaken up by the sudden girls arrival. With long strides, Yongsun grabbed Moonbyul’s arm and tugged her to a room where they could be alone. If Moonbyul thought her body was on fire then, she was clearly mistaken. The inferno that resulted from a simple touch from Yongsun caused her body to quiver as she followed her. Right now, she would follow her anywhere.

                 “What the fuck are you doing here?” Yongsun’s voice was now noticiable harsher than before. “You invited me” was all Moonbyul could get out. She was still recovering from the contact she had received just a few seconds ago. “Yeah but I didn’t think you were going to show up.” Yongsun took a few steps back and blocked her eyes with her hand. “How could Hyejin and Wheein not tell me about you. Fuck I shouldn’t have sent you that invitation.” Moonbyul felt hurt by her words. It was now or never. She licked her lips and clinched her teeth together. “Then why did you if you didn’t want me here?” She was on her way to getting angry. She was experiencing emotions that only Yongsun knew how to bring up. In a weird way, Moonbyul felt like it was the first time in years that she felt so alive. “I don’t know. You played an important role in my life and I guess I was feeling sentiment over that.” It was an excuse and Moonbyul knew it. It fueled her. “Why are you getting married?” The question came as straightforward as she intended it to. “Because I met somebody who made me happy.” Yongsun spit it right back with the same straightforward attitude.

                 “Except you’re not happy.” Yongsun didn’t know what to believe. How dare Moonbyul come to her while she was finishing up her preparations for her wedding day. “You don’t know a thing about how I feel. Don’t pretend.” She was angry and worked up, Moonbyul should have backed down and admitted that she was right. She couldn’t. “I do know. I know that you’re settling for something that’s comfortable and easy.” She should have stopped, but she couldn’t. Words were tumbling out of her mouth like a waterfall at the end of a raging river. “Settling!? Is this your way of telling me that you’re still hung up on me? News flash, you let our break-up happen. You left without putting up much of a fight at all. You have zero right to tell me anything about my relationship!” Yongsun was red, she wanted to appear as threatening as possible so she took a step closer. “You’re right. I should have been there to see you come back to Korea. I should have called or done something. I regret it. But I can’t just sit back and watch you marry someone you don’t really love.” Moonbyul took a step forward and met her intensity. “I waited for you.” Yongsun’s eyes were beginning to tear up, Moonbyul felt a wave of self-loathing course through her thoughts.

                 “I know. I should have tried harder. I didn’t feel like I was good enough.” Her voice was soft compared to how it previously was. “Well it’s too late now. Moonbyul, I’m getting married whether you like it or not.” Yongsun’s tear eyes cleared up as quickly as they came. “Now if you excuse me, I have a wedding to finish.” She tried to storm off but Moonbyul caught her arm and forced her back. “I still love you. Im not letting you go without a fight.” Yongsun was thrown off balance by the sudden action and stumbled forward almost directly on top of the other girl. She wanted to punch her, slap her, do something. She lifted up her hand to slap her but she found that she couldn’t. “It’s too late” her voice was cold but she didn’t move away. “No. It’s not. You wanted me to fight for you. So here I am.” Her voice was steady. She felt like a completely different person than how she was a few hours ago. “On the week of my marriage?” Yongsun regretted not slapping her.

                “Better later than never at all.” It felt like they were now repeating themselves, trying to one up the other. They were alone, and that was dangerous. Yongsun knew that it was best for her to leave, but something kept her in place. She wanted to prove something, she just didn’t know what. “Admit it, something is missing.” Moonbyul was only 2 to 3 feet away from Yongsun at this point. “You’re being delusional.” She responded, her chest rising and falling rapidly from the bent up anger. “Then tell me that im wrong. Tell me that your fiancé makes you feel like your body is going to ignite itself whenever he touches you. Tell me that ever kiss feels like the first and that each orgasm is as good as the last.” Moonbyul was inching forward slowly like a cougar that was hunting down its pray. “Y-you’re wrong” Yongsun cursed at how she failed to respond with as much intensity as she felt. “You’re lying.” It was an easy counter and Yongsun knew it.

               “Stop lying to yourself.” Moonbyul’s voice was steady and quiet. Yongsun gave in. “Make me” Yongsun snarled out, it broke the tension and suddenly Moonbyul closed the gap between them. Moonbyul tugged her as close as she could so she could wrap her arms fully around her. Tongue slipped into each others mouths as they kissed with as much intensity as their fight was. They took moments to breathe before going back at it again. This was wrong but god damn did it feel so right. Yongsun forgot what it felt like to kiss someone so passionately that forgetting to breathe was an issue. Her hands were tangled into Moonbyul’s hair and ignored the fact that her hat fell off. Moonbyul walked forward until Yongsun’s back was up against the wall and away from the door. If this was what it meant to be alive, she never wanted to leave Yongsun again. Yongsun dragged her nails onto her neck and took a small bite out of Moonbyul’s lip. Moonbyul dragged her nails up and down Yongsun’s back. The two broke apart panting as they rested their foreheads against each other. “Why didn’t you come back sooner.” Yongsun was breathless in a way she hadn’t felt since their last make-out session.

               “Because I didn’t know if you still loved me.” Moonbyul was being honest. During that time, she felt like Yongsun had fallen out of love with her. She felt like her presence was just a burden. She was dead wrong. “This isn’t right.” Yongsun’s eyes were darker than they were when they started to make-out. “You wanted this.” Moonbyul was being bold and Yongsun had forgotten what kind of effect it had on her. “Why do you think I invited you.” The words slipped out even before she coherently thought of them. She let go of Moonbyul completely and frantically slid away. She was in shock over what she had just said. The pounding realization hit her very hard. She was very much still in love with Moon Byul Yi. She suddenly felt sick and needed to leave at that very moment. She couldn’t be in the same room with Moonbyul anymore. “I have to go.” Yongsun mumbled as she flew open the door and left. “Wait!” Moonbyul tried to chase after her but found that Yongsun had made her quick escape. Moonbyul’s touched her lips with her hand, she could still taste and feel Yongsun on her. Yongsun still loved her. She was sure of it now. Moonbyul wanted her in every shape and form. She wanted the fights, she wanted the good and bad. She just wanted Yongsun back.

                 Moonbyul explained to Wheein and Hyejin about what happened, they gasped at how scandalous their trip had really become. “This is straight out of a kdrama.” Wheein sat back and reflected on what she had just been told. “If you hadn’t have been a little bitch to begin with then this wouldn’t have happened. But im proud of you.” Hyejin smirked at her and Moonbyul looked away in embarrassment. She really shouldn’t have waited so long. Moonbyul didn’t know if it was because of the jet lag or the fight-kiss with Yongsun that kept her up. All she knew was that she was ready to fight for what was hers.

-2 Days before the wedding-

                 Yongsun had completely ignored and went out of her way to avoid Moonbyul at all costs. She was pissed at Wheein and Hyejin for not telling her, so she wanted to avoid them too. It was hard to avoid the bridesmaid’s though. “Listen we get that you’re mad but we couldn’t let you two be like this forever.” Hyejin spoke for the two of them. Wheein hated it when Yongsun was mad at her. “I was happy and now…” Yongsun’s voice trailed off. She couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every time she looked at Wook, she felt awful for what she had done. The worst part was that she didn’t even regret the kiss. “Now you’ll be able to find real happiness.” Hyejin knew she was pressing her luck with this statement. Wheein winced, expecting Yongsun to blow up from the comment. She didn’t though. “No. It’s too late. Moonbyul had her chance, she didn’t take it. It’s time for me to move on and marry someone who has taken that chance to be with me.” Yongsun wished that she felt as confident as she sounded.

                As they finished the final touches on the wedding, they started their rehearsals. It was all going smoothly and Yongsun found it easy to laugh and smile when looking at Wook. Things began to take a turn when Yongsun finally scanned the crowd and discovered her ex at an alarming rate. Moonbyul was looking at her in a way that made her heart flutter. Compared to the way Wook made her feel, she felt like she indeed chose the safe route. Was safety such a bad thing though? She tried to shake off the girl’s continuous stare. She wasn’t in her wedding gown but still downed a long white dress that overflowed onto the floor. She felt like a princess in that dress. Moonbyul felt her heart accelerate just by looking at the sheer beauty that beholden her. They still had an undeniable connection that they just couldn’t shake off. Moonbyul could have looked at the pretty decorations, but honestly she just wanted to look at Yongsun smile and laugh. Moonbyul felt jealous at the man for being responsible for such a reaction. The jealous only simmered down when Yongsun would turn to look her way. It was only then that Moonbyul would understand that Yongsun was faking.

             Moonbyul persuited her as soon as the rehearsal was over. She felt bad for Wook, he genuinely seemed like a good guy. She wanted him to be happy too. She just selfishly wanted him to be happy with someone else. Yongsun made quick work of making sure she put plenty of people between her and

              the determined girl. Eventually there was no other choice but to accept the fact that Moonbyul was going to be talking to her. “Yongsun!” Moonbyul called out and halted her as she tried to turn away to leave. “What do you need Moonbyul?” Her fake smile was plastered on her face, she wanted to give off the impression that nothing was wrong. “Can we talk?” They had to talk about the kiss. Surely Yongsun felt the same way. “There’s nothing to discuss.” Yongsun looked nervous as she looked at every which way but straight forward where Moonbyul stood. “I know you felt it too.” Moonbyul made sure to keep her voice quiet so that it wouldn’t cause a scene. “I didn’t.” She lied and prayed that Moonbyul would buy it. “You’re in love with me too.” Again, some form of bravery released itself from the pits that Moonbyul usually locked it away in. The words caused an eruption of emotion from Yongsun, but she had to conceal it.

              “Im in love with somebody else. Im sorry it had to be this way.” She was being polite, playing a role that seemed to have been made just for her. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop lying?” Moonbyul questioned as she tried to get closer so that her voice didn’t have to travel that far. “As many times as it takes for me to tell you to leave me alone.” Yongsun fired back. Except this time, Moonbyul noticed a change in Yongsun. Throughout the day, Yongsun looked like the perfect bride except her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Now, her emotions sprung from her eyes. Her heart was pounding for the first time. “Seeing you like this, this is the first time you’ve acted natural all day.” The comment broke Yongsun. She grasped Moonbyul’s hand to lead her somewhere else. They couldn’t ‘talk’ here. Not where her groom was in the same room with her and the guilt of it all piling up. They found a room that was unoccupied and Yongsun made quick work on kissing Moonbyul. She was like a drug that Yongsun couldn’t live without.

              She hated this girl with every fiber of her being, but she was so in love with her at the same time. She let her rough kissing and gripping express her emotions. Moonbyul gladly exchanged the favor until she felt lightheaded from the lack of air. “There can’t be a repeat of this. Wook he’s-“ Yongsun paused to catch her breath. “He doesn’t deserve this.” She felt guilt overflow her judgement. “Neither do you. You can’t stay in a relationship that you have to act like you’re in love just to get by.” The words were on the tip of Moonbyul’s tongue. She had come so far. “Chose me.” The words were so quiet that Yongsun almost missed them. She almost asked for her to repeat them, but she couldn’t dare to listen to those words again. “I can’t. Everyone is expecting me-“ Moonbyul cut her off by kissing her. The kiss was gentle, it made Yongsun’s insides melt. When Moonbyul pulled away she placed a hand on Yongsun’s cheek. “You have to do what makes you happy.” She wanted to believe her words, before she could respond the door opened.

              They moved away from each other very quickly, Moonbyul turned her body away from the door so she could wipe off the lipstick that Yongsun was wearing. “Oh im sorry! We were looking for you Miss Kim. It’s time for photo’s.” The man was pleasant enough that Yongsun thanked him for looking for her. “I’ll see you around” was all she said as she quickly left. Moonbyul felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. What if she really wasn’t going to get Yongsun back?

-The day of the wedding-

              Everything and everyone was frantic. Moonbyul was finally adjusted to the timezones to the point where she could go to bed at least before 2 am. Hair and make-up was the thing that was on everyone’s mind. Moonbyul wanted to make sure she looked her best. Light make up and mascara was the way to go for her. Hyejin whistled when she saw her, Moonbyul made sure to return a wink. Hyejin was wearing a long red dress that suited her curves mighty fine. Wheein chose to wear a black skirt, a white blouse, and a white jacket. Today was Moonbyul’s last chance to win back Yongson. She gulped at the image of what she was going to have to do. She always daydreamed as a kid what it would be like to object at a wedding. She had no idea it would feel this nerve wreaking. It’s amazing how different things are compared to when they were in school secretly dating. There was a time when Moonbyul never even dreamed of announcing her love for Yongsun in a room full of people who loved and adored Yongsun. Much less at a wedding. They got down there early because of Wheein and Hyejin’s roles as bridesmaids. They shot Moonbyul thumbs ups and gave a hushed ‘Fighting!’ while shaking their fist. They wanted Moonbyul to get Yongsun back almost as much as Moonbyul did.

              Inside the preparation room, Yongsun was in a panic. She always laughed at the idea of brides running away from the alter because they felt like they couldn’t do it. Now she felt the same. She felt like everything was wrong, and it was all Moon Byul Yi’s fault. She had to remind herself to breathe as the assistant helped her fasten her long wedding dress. She tried to convince herself that she could do this. She told herself that there was no way that Moonbyul was going to stay in America just for her. She tried to keep going over the reasons why they broke up in the first place. The only issue with this is that, Moonbyul came to America for her. She withstood Yongsun’s anger and turned it into a rekindled fire that Yongsun had convinced herself gone out. Now she stood looking at a mirror, looking more beautiful than ever, having second thoughts. Going through hair and make-up had been a struggle. She wondered if Moonbyul had this much issue. Then again, she was probably wearing a suit. She smiled at the image of Moonbyul in a suit. It was always her best look. That’s when you know somethings wrong. When you’re imaging how well your ex looks compared to how your fiancé looks. Truth be told, she didn’t think about Wook once.

              Everyone sat down and got into place. The wedding was about to begin. Moonbyul felt her gut tighten. She hated the fact that time was moving much faster than she would like it to. Hyejin and Wheein got into position and scouted the room for Moonbyul. As soon as they spotted her, they waved until it caught Moonbyul’s attention. Moonbyul weakly waved back, she felt too sick to do anything else. She was sitting next to a man who she did not recognize. “Korean?” She wasn’t expecting the question but she nodded anyways. In perfect Korean he asked if anything was wrong. She must have looked as tense as she felt. She tried to make up an excused, ending it up with ‘Just nervous on if he’ll treat her right.’ He gave her an understanding nod. “You don’t have to go into further details. All I’ll say is that if it’s meant to be then it is meant to be.” His words struck a chord with her, words that would stay with her the rest of her life. She finally understood why Yongsun was so adamant about going to America. They continued to talk until the wedding ceremony began. “Good luck” he whispered as if he knew exactly what she was going to do.

              Yongsun felt like her legs had lost function. She was glad that her father was walking her down the aisle or else she probably wouldn’t have made it. Her heart was pounding for all the wrong reasons. She had finally come out of denial and straight into the acceptance that she should not be getting married. At least not to the man who looked at her with such love and devotion. Yongsun tried to alert Wheein or Hyejin that they should do something. She wished that there was some unspoken signal that she could send to them to tell them to stop the wedding. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t marry somebody who didn’t have her full heart. Instead, they just smiled at her and let her finish her walk. Yongsun hadn’t turned around yet, but she knew that Moonbyul was watching her. She did her best not to let her panic show on her face. She gave Wook a genuine smile. He was such a great guy. She really hated that she couldn’t love him the way he loved her. She couldn’t even remember her vowels that she had spent so many hours painstakingly writing. She improvised when it was her turn to recite. The words didn’t flow as neatly as they did on paper, she was sure that people in the audience could pick up on it.

              Moonbyul sat on the edge of her seat, the time was coming. When the priest was done, the words “Are there any objections as to why these two should not be wed.’ came out. Moonbyul took a deep breath and stood up quickly. She opened her mouth to speak but was shocked to find that someone else had stood up with her. It was Yongsun’s father. “I object.” He spoke cleanly, Moonbyul looked from him to Yongsun and back to the priest. “And why is that?” The priest was shaken from the fact that someone did have an objection. The whole audience was mummering that no one had experienced this before either. “I don’t believe that this marriage is right because he is not the person that should be standing there. Im sorry.” Moonbyul could tell that he was struggling to find the right words. The priest shot a glance at her, “And you?” Moonbyul’s cheeks grew red as all eyes were on her now.

              “I object. B-Because she belongs with me.” Her words caused an eruption of gasps from the crowd. Yongsun’s father made eye contact with her and gave her a slight nod before sitting down. He knew? Wook looked at Yongsun with a confused expression. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Im sorry. I can’t do this.” She wanted to give him a million apologies, but instead she grabbed his arm and they politely walked back up the aisle. Yongsun shot her first glance at Moonbyul. She gave her a genuine smile and nodded her head towards the door to send a clear message. Come meet me outside. Wheein and Hyejin were in as much shock as they could be. They expected Moonbyul to say something, but Yongsun’s father? After he let her go through with the wedding? They made their way to Moonbyul and pushed her forward. “You better go before you miss her.” Hyejin scolded her as Moonbyul still stood in shock. She nodded numbly and fast walked out of the room. It was loud, but that could have been just Moonbyul’s ears ringing from the pounding in her chest.

              Her arm was jerked back by Yongsun who had appeared out of no where. She was dragged off in a familiar fashion than before. Moonbyul couldn’t help the smirk on her face. She really didn’t mind being dragged by Yongsun. “I can’t believe you did it.” Yongsun was smiling at her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “I thought you’d be angry?” Moonbyul felt confused but still couldn’t fight the daydream grin that was on her face. “No. Im kind of done being angry.” She kissed her again, and again. She felt lighter than she had since she got there. She felt like she had just reunited with her soulmate for the first time. She should have been distraught over the wedding, but instead she was kissing the girl she had fallen in love with at 16. “Promise me something” Yongsun said between kisses. “Anything” Moonbyul was feeling too euphoric to care about anything. “When we get married, make sure no one has a reason to object.”