#are those tags ppl use..? u can just throw stuff at a wall in here

[i-want-my-iwtv]

How has the purge affected u?

[Apologies in advance for the Wall of Text™, I feel like longposting, sorry for the dash coverage, I didn’t think I had this much to say about this… And I probably shouldn’t do this, probably should have kept this to a flippant “It sucks!” with a VC meme, but I haven’t shared much publicly lately… now feels like a singularly poignant time to do so.]

NO CUTS WE LONGPOST LIKE MEN

It’s strange. I think running and participating in the @vcsecretgifts exchange (not finished yet!), and backing up that blog and this one for preservation (not finished yet!), helped take my mind off it! I’ve been busy with @wicked-felina coordinating substitute Santas, so I haven’t had much chance to indulge in it like a participant yet, but I did see that my recipient liked my gift, and that was heartwarming! I’ll reply properly when I have the peace of mind for it (yes I could be doing it now but this is the gear I want to be on right now), and I haven’t had a chance to read the gift from my own Santa, I’m saving that as a treat!

I did the #Log/ffProt/st, that helped. The purge is/was creatively stifling, somewhat, too, bc even though I don’t produce NS/FW stuff myself (I WANT TO, THO), I do reblog it, and support it, I see other artists and writers affected by it, and I felt and still feel helpless, unable to protect them. One of our VC fandom members who draws slash art has been shadowbanned, that I know of. It’s frustrating that the morality & purity police seem to have won this battle, but they haven’t won the war. We’ll take our garbage underground if we have to. 

How crushing to wake up to one’s blog(s) just canceled w/o explanation? We were given 2 weeks’ notice? To pack up our “nasty” stuff and leave? 

[X]

There’s nothing wrong with NS/FW stuff, adult ppl should be able to talk about it, fantasize about it, make art and write fiction about it, have kinks and explore them. I never bought the “if you like it in fiction you support it in reality!” argument, just like with all dangerous things we like in fiction but wouldn’t want in reality. 

“… Fiction is how we both study and de-fang our monsters. To lock violent fiction away, or to close our eyes to it, is to give our monsters and our fears undeserved power and richer hunting grounds.” - Warren Ellis [X]

But I’ve fought those battles and there’s no point in engaging in unwinnable debate with ppl who are committed to misunderstanding me and twisting my words into a strawman they can easily knock over.  

It’s baffling that it’s an unpopular opinion that minors should be allowed to learn about sex, as much as they learn about how to (eventually) drive a car, manage alcohol consumption, defend themselves against violence, handle medication or recreational drugs, all these things that are potentially and not inherently dangerous to them, that they’ll be faced with in the Real World. I remember there were religious rituals in my youth where children could taste alcohol a little bit, it was exposure to an adult thing in a safe space, among other adults. Is this really all about Protecting the Children? Really? Or is it about mental domination? What it looks like to me is a self-proclaimed Particular Authority who wants to keep minors (and adults) submissive and reliant on that Particular Authority, it’s so much easier to keep them submissive and reliant to that same Particular Authority as adults. It’s always been about power. 

And I’m seeing that the communities most affected by the purge are AFAB ppl and LGBTQIA+. It’s misogynistic, LGBTQIA+-phobic. The fact that tungle reportedly blocked archivists from saving blogs before the NS/FW purge is just pouring salt in the wound.

I’ve started following these refugee/evicted tumblr ppl where they’ve migrated to. I’m trying to keep track of them. I’m in the @fiction-is-not-reality2 discord server, keeping my eye out for the next alternative platform.

Leading up to the purge I considered blasting a bunch of smut as a last hurrah, and I did reblog some Controversial™ stuff, just in case my blog was going to be deleted, but then, I lost steam on that. Why put in extra effort and get deleted anyway? Why poke the bear, and deliberately get deleted for it? Most of my blog is SFW, anyway.

I preserved my blog, the gifts blog, and just for archival purposes I should have been doing that all along, so it was good for my own historical safekeeping… so much good commentary and fanworks here, in the past 5+ years! Collecting the scraps just like I’d done in 1994, when there were articles about the IWTV movie and I wanted all of them, I especially wanted the illustrations and caricatures in the magazines (which was really validating of my interest in some way, fanart that was published, essentially!). And I had my folder of Deviantart I liked, of course. So I packed up my blog here to preserve it, it’s on wordpress now, iwantmyiwtv.com, with a lame layout, but I’ve got the tags showing, where fanart that’s blocked here can still be seen on WP.

I’m rambling. 

The purge reminded me that all this, as we know it, could and will be gone someday. Purges have done that before, especially to our fandom, attacked by its own canon author. We’ve survived this before. 

I’ve been on tungle since July ‘13. I’ve made and lost some wonderful friends here, some have moved on to other fandoms, or we’ve had partings of the ways. The fanart in this fandom, my memes, have been spread all over, I see them on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter. When this blog is deleted, either by content flagging or by tumblr finally keeling over, our stuff is going to outlive us all.  

Who even made this one? One of the vintage memes. Maybe their watermark was long ago cropped off, or maybe they hadn’t put it on:

^It was used in a meme here, but I don’t think that was the OP, it’s gotta be more than 4 yrs old. Pretty sure the “JUDGING YOU” in Impact font was around Twilight time, which came out in 2008. This meme is still floating around, it’s still amusing to ppl all these years later. Someone’s stroke of inspiration, and we may never know who it was, but we enjoy it, it’s part of the worn fabric of the fandom.

Will ppl remember me when/if I’m gone? I don’t need to be remembered, it’s enough that I was here at one point, and encouraged ppl to make fanworks, that I helped bring ppl together. I don’t need them to know it was me, specifically, or know much about me, this blog was never meant to be about me. Those I brought together might remember how they met. There are those who have seen behind the curtain and I hope to hang onto them as long as possible.

If/When this all disappears, I want ppl to know how much I enjoyed interacting with ppl through asks, the chat feature. I’ve missed answering asks, and I’ve missed the feeling of seeing new ask alerts without having to brace myself for Discourse. I’ve missed seeing that anon icon as a friendly, but shy, human being, rather than a living person who’s in pain, somewhere else in the world, throwing bricks through my window. Someone who’s suffering bc they’re not getting the attention they need, truly, someone who deserves to be loved, someone who needs validation for their opinions on things, and wanted mine, but I couldn’t give it. I’m only human, too. I made this blog for 15 year old me, who couldn’t find enough VC fanworks, so I set out to collect, make, and encourage them, but all in the spirit of optimism, bc that’s what I got out of canon. 15 year old me drew self esteem from those books. That’s the only person I ever wanted to please with this thing and that girl is still my priority. 

We’ll survive this purge, we’ve done it before. Hold onto the ppl who you’ve made connections with. I’ll be here as long as I can. 

Most importantly, I’m not letting the morality & purity police tell me what ’m allowed to learn about, make fanworks about, or enjoy in published or fan fiction, etc. 

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly(/Monthly) Update #52: I’m Gonna Jumpsuit Out a Window (6/30/18)

When all the cryptic weirdness surrounding dmaorg.info sprung up nearly two months ago, everyone was extremely hyped. So much content! So many theories! It really felt like hiatus was over.

There was just one problem: there were no new songs licensed or registered under the band’s name, which meant nothing was coming out. Rabid music fans have known for years that there is truly no such thing as a “surprise” music release: for legal reasons, almost all song titles show up on online registries several days, if not weeks, before they are made available to the public. And, indeed, after the initial wave of teases wrapped up, the Clique returned to a quasi-hiatus state, punctuated only by the occasional addition to the Dema lore.

This Thursday, June 28, that all changed. Let’s talk about it. 

This Week’s TØPics:

Finally, Some Good F*cking Food: Two New Song Titles Registered

Dema Recap: Cheetahs and Trenches and Cryptic Nonsense, Oh My!

One Year Later: What Do We Really Know About This Hiatus?

Editorial: When the Discourse Gets Too Much (and When It’s Just What We Need)

Major News and Announcements:

In the biggest piece of real news that we’ve received since the hiatus, two new song titles have been registered on the PPL music licensing database: “Nico and the Niners” and “Jumpsuit”. This is a highly reputable source, and not even truly a “leak” as so many have called it. The pages are managed directly by labels’ legal teams to ensure that anyone who wishes to play music in their media, advertisements, or establishments knows what songs are licensed to which artists and what steps to take to legally license them. “Heathens” was first spotted here over two years ago, not to mention countless other songs from various other artists. The two songs were just removed from the day after they were found listing, but Reddit detectives have already discovered untitled tracks with the same registration codes listed under an unknown Warner artist (ya’ll ain’t slick).

The fact that this posting was accompanied by further activity from the band only confirms that there’s some real nonsense going on. Not only did we get new Dema content (which we’ll get to) but, perhaps even more wild, Tyler Robert Joseph liked something on Instagram. Dude’s alive.

In all seriousness, Tyler Joseph’s social media habits do little to help us understand just what the hell “Nico and the Niners” is. The bigger story (and the one I’ve been slacking on reporting the last two months, my bad) is the sporadic updates to dmaorg.info. Back in early May, we got our first bit of content after the initial reveal in the form of a new letter from Clancy. The letter itself is a pretty well-written YA protagonist internal monologue, with Clancy yearning to find a place that truly feels like home outside the walls of Dema. But, Tyler being Tyler, there’s more to it than that: the date attached to the paragraph matches that of the band’s last social media post, and missing letters from throughout the note together spell out the coded message “You are still sleeping.”

The second update, posted in late May, is this lovely gif of a cheetah running under letters moving in a quick sequence. After slowing it down, the letters spell out the message “U still don’t know his real name do u?” Again, there’s much more to the post when you take the time to dig in. The listed date matches Josh’s appearance at the APMAs, the first mention of Dema. The file name for the gif is “3lurr” meaning the “he” in the question may in fact be Blurryface. Most significantly, the spaces between this message’s words were filled with letters that, when taken out separately and placed in sequence, repeatedly spell out “Nico,” perhaps answering the gif’s own rhetorical question.

So who is Nico? Well, it matches the names of one of the nine bishops in the “Compass” picture from April, which would seem to make him one of the ‘niners” who rule Dema. It’s increasingly looking like this album is really going to double down on covering a weird and fleshed out concept rife with metaphors, and I. Am. Here for it (as long as the music’s, ya know, good).

The final (for now) Dema post was released just yesterday in the wake of all of the sudden new activity. It is the first photo that seems to be wholly original, with no one as yet having tracked down where it’s from. It’s a pretty badass image, with twenty-one (goddammit) figures standing at the edge of some cliff or pit. Some have speculated that this could be album artwork, and it would certainly make for a very good cover. But that’s just the surface.

The image’s jpg name is an assortment of letters that, when deciphered using a basic alphabet sequence code, translates into “Trench”- possibly another new song? BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Typing that jpg number sequence or “trench” into the “violation code” section of the dmaorg.info url reveals a heavily-distorted audio clip. Sound engineers on Twitter and Reddit have tried reversing and pitch correcting the snippet, but have not truly succeeded in deriving anything from it beyond that it seems to be Tyler singing “So did they obey/bury you?” But what he’s saying honestly doesn’t matter to me half as much as this fact: after over a year, we finally got to hear Tyler Joseph’s voice. That’s got me on Cloud Nine, baby. 

Pictured: The Clique (I know I used this joke last time, sue me)

So what does all of this cryptic nonsense and Reddit deciphering ultimately tell us? Frankly, it’ll be hard to say until we actually have our hands and ears on new music. The Clique has compiled so many different theories about what these little snippets of photos and garbled words mean that there’s no way they can all be true. But it’s becoming increasingly clear that there was an actual plan for this roll-out stretching back at least a year and that Tyler is not (as some salty fans have suggested) just throwing out a bunch of “fake deep trash.” Each piece of the Dema content has matched up in some way with the lyrics from the shutting eyes last year:

“You’ll have to come and find me.” -> The original discovery of the website.

“My pretty sleeper.” -> The “You are still sleeping” hidden message.

“Wouldn’t it be great if we could just lay down...” -> “...and wake up in Slowtown” (and slow down the cheetah gif).

“I will fear the night again...” -> “[I hope I’m] not my only friend.” (the caption for the cliff picture)

Beyond all of that, the revelation of “Nico and the Niners” being part of the actual album should be taken as a real source of validation for all of those Reddit warriors out there: At least some of this stuff means something. (Now wtf is “Jumpsuit” about...)

Other Shenanigans:

Potential leaks from radio stations and some common sense theories have pegged a single release for the band as coming in the next two weeks, either July 6th or 13th. With all that in mind, I thought we’d look back on the weird conspiracy chart I’ve been keeping in my closet and recap what exactly we know about the band’s activities over the last year. 

The short answer is: not much. After Josh’s performance at the APMAs, there have been no interviews, no public appearances, no social media posts. Josh has certainly been much more active than Tyler, which just makes sense for his much-less introverted personality. He contributed drums to Lights’ last album (though those recordings were done well before the hiatus). He apparently hopped into the studio with Drake Bell, (though I have no idea if any of that music has seen the light of day). He’s been fine taking group photos with Fueled by Ramen colleagues, other friends from the music industry, and, of course, Debby, who he almost definitely is back with. As for Tyler... well, beyond a few Jenna photos from a few months back and the odd fan encounter, there’s been nothing, which is why that eight second audio clip hit me like a Mack truck. 

There are a few other things the truly obsessed have been able to find that I don’t necessarily want to reward by reposting here- I really want to try to keep it about the art. But we can pretty safely guess from Jenna and Jordan’s social media that the duo have been in Columbus, LA, and New York together a few times the last few months, likely for studio sessions and label meetings. Perhaps we’ll find out more about what transpired during the “hiatus” in the weeks and months to come, perhaps not. One thing’s for sure: it’s finally, finally (almost) over. 

Editorial:

The last note I wanted to leave everyone on is something a little different for this blog, but still something I still think is worth talking about. Anyone who has been visiting the Twenty One Pilots tags on any site over the last several months can tell that the fanbase has not been taking the band’s absence well. And I’m not just talking the usual overblown crying for new music or young kids worshiping their idols a little too much. That’s always been there. This is different.

A whole host of the old crowd- the update accounts, the podcast hosts, the quasi-groupies who got barricade every night- have turned pretty hard from the band, particularly from Tyler. Some just have no interest in the music of Twenty One Pilots in the year 2018 AD; they’ve discovered other topics, other genres, other artists that speak more personally to where they are in life, and have just moved on. Others have expressed deeply personal distaste for the band itself for a whole host of political and social reasons that I’m not going to get into here- that’s a debate for another time, and probably for another account.

The point is, digging through social media to try to find updates and memes has been difficult when the most dependable sources also pepper in jab at whether Tyler’s learned to carry burdens yet every few posts. And while those folks are certainly more than entitled to their opinions and feelings (I even agree with many of them), it’s hard to deny that there are large swathes of the Twenty One Pilots’ fandom that just aren’t much fun to be in right now, just like there’s large swathes of the world in general where it feels like we’re not permitted to assume the best in people and just be happy with the things that used to make us happy. For a few weeks, I’ve honestly been wondering if I wanted to keep running this account in the next era. I just wanted to go back to the time before I had to share Twenty One Pilots with the world, when this was just my band, the one that made me feel understood and valid and worthy at a time where nothing else really did

Sasha Geffen’s insightful and deeply personal piece on the band’s music for AV Club, which focuses on how Tyler Joseph depicts and discusses suicidal depression, helped bring me back to that time. Music journalists have frequently gotten everything wrong about Tyler Joseph’s songwriting, to the point where I have often felt like they were listening to different music than me. But Geffen gets it. She sees that Tyler does not talk down to his audience about the problems they’re dealing with; he’s always been right there with us, and always offering concrete and practical ways of getting through depression one day at a time. He’s an insightful and compassionate dude, way more than people give him credit for, and it shows in his art. I had almost forgotten that. I needed that reminder right now, before everything ramps up again. I hope that article offers some comfort for any of you who also want to remember why this band is still so special, all these years later.

See you all (hopefully) next week. Power to the local dreamer.

|-/