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desswright29 · 5 months

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Intomba: Young Love

A/N: Hey Yaw! I know I been gone but I been busy. But I’m here now and I come baring gifts lol. For some reason this story is really close to my heart. Like I LOVE reader and Shuri! I combined my love for Angst with my love for a pretty love story and I hope you guys love it as much as I’m enjoying writing it.

Word Count: 9.6k

Pairing: Shuri/Reader

Contains: Friends to lovers, underage kissing, Love story, Angst, Struggle, Prison Shuri, manipulation, No smut for now this isn’t a smit heavy fic. There will be but I just wanted to write a story.

“Oh,God! Oh My God! I can’t believe it!” Bound to her wooden floors, her eyes locked onto mine. Stunned I should guess. Was it from my hardened appearance, or did my presence in general offend? I couldn’t have known. As our gazes lingered upon eachothers, I couldn’t help but notice after all these years, her eyes were still filled with a certain purity, guiltlessness, innocence. A simplicity, that I hadn’t been blessed to be in the presence of for a long time. Eight years to be exact. I couldn’t help but feel unworthy of it’s presence. Breaking our stare, I look down at my feet as they shuffle from side to side. Self-consciousness trickling through my veins as I continue to feel her gaze.

“I-I know I didn’t call. I didn’t have a number, only this address. I could find somewhere el-“

My body froze as I suddenly felt her body come in contact with mine. Rushing into me, she throws her arms around my neck. She trembled against me, and my eyes shut tight. The warmth of her embrace sending shock waves to my system. My arms remaining at my sides my mind not quite computing how to engage with the softness of this embrace. As my eyes remain shut I feel her pull away and soon after, fingertips gently caress each my cheeks. Slowly sliding from my cheeks, down my neck, and down my arms. She traced the art that now shadowed my caffeinated skin. “It’s really you.” The words pour softly from her lips, and I open my eyes slowly looking down at her lovingly.

“I’m not so sure about that.” I whisper, my eyes glazing over allowing her to continue surveying me as we stand in her doorway. Those eyes, they lift from my arms back up to my own, brows furrowing as she searches for meaning. I can spot the exact moment she finds it. Grabbing my hand, she lightly tugs at my arm guiding me inside of the small apartment. Once the door closes behind us, her arms wrap around me once again.

I grip onto her, hands shaking as they grip onto her waist. I can feel the dam about to break. But, She still knew me. She could feel it, smell it on me. Her hand gently rubbed my back. “It’s ok. You’re safe now Shuri.” And with no urge to fight,I close my eyes allowing the tears to flow as I breath her in, head buried into her neck. It hits like a wave, my body shaking with sobs as my knees went weak, and we sank to the floor. “I’m sorry Shuri. I’m so sorry this happened to you.” She sits in the center of the floor, my head on her bossom as her hands delicately stroke the top of my head; allowing me to release emotions that hadn’t been safe for me to release for eight years of my life.

And that’s who she was to me. My Amanzi, My water. When life would suck me dry. I ran to her and she replenished me.

I’m sorry. I don’t believe I’ve properly introduced myself. I’m Shuri. Now a days they call me Qamata. But, we’ll get into that later. I should explain what’s happening here. As i’m sure you’ve guessed, I’d just been released from prison, for what had supposed to have been a ten year bid. I got out in eight on good behavior. I was just a kid when I went in. 18. And there I was at 26 able to carry everything I owned in a paper trash bag. I remember feeling low. The equivalent of garbage. Cast away.

However, I wasn’t the delinquent youth that I’m sure you all are picturing. Far from it. I was top of my class. Dual enrollment. I’d graduated highschool at 17 as valedictorian, and having already secured a bachelors degree from the most prestigious university in Wakanda; where I would’ve finished out my education in Network engineering and computer science, had everything gone the way it was supposed to. But, Bast did it not. At a point in time I despised this life that I chose. It had taken the person I loved most in the world away from me. My brother.

At a point in time my father was the most feared man in the place we call The Bricks. His name was T’Chaka, they called him Uthixo. God Father. Pretty self-explanatory. He peddled his poisonous products to our community without remorse. Not a single regret. He was merciless, cold. So much so that he’d killed his own brother in cold blood after finding out that he was consorting with the enemy. Turned out my uncle N’Jobu, had been being held captive. Working for them under the pretense that his families lives would be taken. My father knew this. He still killed him, stating that N’Jobu was a liability. That was my father. His carelessness eventually cost him and my brother their lives. They were killed the same day. Their bodies riddled with bullets. My father and brother dangled from light poles on display like trophies.

T’Challa, my brother, he didn’t deserve it. He hadn’t wanted that life. And neither did I. My mother, myself, and my sister were exiled in a way. Shunned into dilapidated buildings struggling to make ends meet. My mother fell sick, and my sister was useless. She sold her body, and the proceeds went to her poisonous habit. She’d had three children since then that ended up mostly under the care of my mother. So as soon as I was of age I began to work in the mines. It was hard back breaking work for anyone, especially a teenage girl. But, it was my only option. My name. My Fathers name preceded me wherever I went. I worked hard to turn it around. And I began to succeed.

I am a certified Genius. If anybody was going to get us out of The Bricks. It would be me. But, Love. Love makes us silly, Ngaba akunjalo (Does it not)? I took one look at that pretty chocolate skin. Those big Doe eyes, and that big gravity defying hair and fell into a deep bottomless pit of eternal love….In love with you Sthandwa Sami. The girl who saw me hoarding my food from the cafeteria to take to my niece and nephews; even though I myself was by every definition of the word starving. So you started packing me a lunch everyday. Making me eat it infront of you. Stubborn Haha. The only person in the world who could tell me what to do. If only I’d known that that was only the begining of the things you’d be to me.

In all of my life, there were only two constants. Tragedy. And You. I remember the day everything changed. The day I knew I was in love with you.

Your buttery brown skin saturated with the suns rays blessed Shuri’s vision. Sitting across from her, a beauty that had changed the trajectory of her exsistence. Physically, you were a goddess to young Shuri, yes. It was apparent in the way she incessantly stole glances. Bast’s light shining on you making your skin, the shade of nutmeg, gleam like pyrite stone. Eyes like buttered chocolate, swirled with caramel crescent moons. Your juicy lips appearing as though they’re dripping in manuka honey. Big curls sat atop your head like a crown. Unapologetically kinky, defying earths gravity.

However, it was more than tangible for Shuri. Deeper than the eyes would meet. Your beauty was the flower be-speckled in the thin light of dawn. But, it was also the volunteer in a soup kitchen on a holiday missing their own family meal. It was majesty and self-sacrifice, it was all of the wonders of the natural world and our spiritual wholeness. It was the embodiment of the love God had for her people. For who are we to be blessed to walk amongst such an ethereal beauty.

“Shuri? Shuri!?” Shuri was startled out of her thoughts, sitting up straight in her seat. The pretty girl that had her transfixed, now speaking to her. She cleared her throat trying to play it cool.

“Yea? What’s up?” Scratching the back of her head, she looked down at the books infront of her, trying to avoid eye contact. Her heart heart rate was excelerated, and her face heated, she’d been caught.

“You’re not paying attention.” Finally, her eyes raise. Looking into deep brown orbs she could so easily get lost in. So beautiful.

“Yo. I was listening.” She spoke up defensively slouching back against her chair. Mirroring her actions from across the table, you cross your arms across your chest, squinting your eyes at your friend, cocking your head to the side.

“What did I just say, Shuri?” Shuri’s lower lip disappears between her teeth as she tries to swallow a smile. Her eyebrows raise, and her eyes shift from side to side. Your eyes narrow as the smile broke across her face, her eyes turning apologetic.

“I’m sorry.” She chuckles. Rolling your eyes, you suck your teeth quickly picking up and throwing it across the table at her. She catches it effortlessly. “A pencil?” Her eyes widen in faux shock. “You’re really trying to hurt me.” She says hand coming up to clutch her chest dramatically before a smirk curled her pretty lips.

“Yea, because you’re supposed to be helping me, but you keep zoning out!” Your face scrunches up in frustration. Though you couldn’t help but to admire how cute and dramatic Shuri was. With her perfectly chisled face, pretty lips, and perfect smile. Your tummy tingled a bit as the two of you seemed to get lost in eachothers gaze.

“Shhh!” Shuri’s attention was immediately grabbed by the sound. Her gaze snapping to a young man staring at you two his annoyance apparent, and so was Shuri’s. He’d interrupted a moment of rarity between the two of you everyone knew that Shuri’s annoyance wan much more dangerous than the average persons. The smile was still plastered on her face, her bottom lip now resting between her teeth. You see her glance your way out of the corners of her eyes and you shake your head.

“Shuri..” She turns to you fully throwing her hands up in defense.

“I’m not going to bother him Y/n. He’s absolutely correct. We should act like we have home training? We’re in a library. We should conduct ourselves properly. Yea?” Knowing better, your brow raises a frown distorting your face.

Shuri leans back in her seat a genuine smile plastered on her face, before her gaze returns to the boy.

“He’s safe Amanzi. However, for future references. It’d behoove you to watch your tone when you speak to her.” Suddenly her tone turned serious, eyes steadfast on him, the smirk on her face leisurely becoming a grimace. The boy shifts in his seat clearly uncomfortably. Shuri turned in her chair hunching over placing her elbows to her knees only deepening the stare staring a hole into the side of his face. Quickly closing his books, shoving them into his back pack, he scurries off to find a safer table.

“Ah maaaann! Are you leaving? Don’t goo!” She called after him sarcastically.

“He didn’t even say anything. Why’d you do that?” You chastise her.

“Yea he did. Remember? He said Shh. And it’s not what he said it was the maliciousness

in his tone.” A malicious grin spread across her face.

“Malicious- Girl.” You roll your eyes as laughter erupts from her throat. “We’re sorry!” You call after the boy.”

“Speak for yourself, thando” She replies.

You look at her like she’s crazy as she shrugs her non chalance.

“Anyway Shuri. If you’ve had enough of being a bully, could you please help me with this fucking calculus I only made it into this class because of you.”

Shuri’s outdated Kimoyo beads buzz against her wrist and another apologetic look crossed her face. You release an exasperated sigh, slouching down into your chair.

“Put your lip up. It’ll only take a second.”

“Khawulezisa!! (Hurry up)” You say. Shuri’s eyes roll to the back of her head as she see’s the holorgraphic name that appears. With great hesitance she answers the call.

“Challan, I’m at the library.” She answers, irritation seeping from her pores.

“Your Umama, is in the hospital. My kids were unattended for 3 hours.” Shuri’s heart drops into her stomach, immediately sitting up straight in her seat. Concern instantly crosses your face your back also straightening.

“What are you talking about?” Shuri could feel her heart racing in all of her pulse points while she waited for her sister to give her more details.

“Some complication with the cancer. I don’t fucking know. She’s good, but the kids haven’t eaten all day!” Shuri could feel her body began to heat up with rage.

“ChaCha! Feed them! They’re your kids! I don’t have time for this shit! What hospital did they take mother too?” A long suck of the teeth comes from the other end of the call and Shuri’s jaw clenches.

“What’s going on?” You mouth from across the table, and Shuri holds up a finger.

“If I had something to feed them with you think I’d be talking to you about it!” Shuri’s shut tightly as she counts backwards from 10 to try and calm herself.

“I don’t have any money Cha. Tell me where they took my mother.” She reiterated, rubbing a hand down her face, slouching against her chair once again. Your eyes never leave her watching her every movement.

“You’re lying. You always have money.”

“I have a job Cha…You should try one. I’m only 16. Im not a fucking millionaire. I’m making enough for bills, and food for me and mother. We’re barely scraping by with that. For some inexplicable reason, I’m still waiting for you to let me know where they took my mother Cha, I’m loosing patience.”

“She’s at General…You don’t care about your nephews and niece eating?”

“Just stay at the hospital. I’ll get them something when I get there.” Shuri hangs up in her face. Standing to her feet, and you begin stuffing your belongings into your book bag hurriedly. Shuri’s eyebrows furrow as she watches you.

“What are you doing?” You look up at her like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Coming with you to the hospital. Duh.”

“No. You need to stay here and finish studying. You’re exam is tomorrow.” Your head jerks back a look of offense taking over your face.

“Shuri get your shit together so we can go. Don’t play with me.” You finish putting away your things, throwing your bag over your shoulder.

“Stubborn.” Shuri huffed a small laugh, while doing as you said. You grab ahold of Shuri’s hand pulling her to the exit of the Library. The two of you running out, and hopping onto Shuri’s motorbike. You place on the extra helmet she always kept for you, and hold tightly to her waist before she takes off.

“Umama?” She speaks softly stepping quietly into the hospital room, hand in hand with you, not wanting to interrupt her if she was resting.

“Come on in baby. Im awake.” Ramonda announces her eyes lighting up at the sight of You and Shuri.

There was once a time in her life when her mother stood so tall, so strong. Graceful and elegant. Now she lie weak and frail. It rocked Shuri to her core everytime her eyes rested on her mother for too long.

“Umakazi! Umakazi!” The pitter patter of little feet followed the sound of little voices as they came crashing into their aunt, hugging onto her legs as she lowered herself wrapping them all into her embrace. You smile as you walk over to her mothers bed placing a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“Y/n, it’s good to see you.” She says lightly squeezing your hand.

“It’s good to see you too. I wish it was under better circumstances ofcourse. How are you?” A light smile lifting the corner of your lips.

“Blessed, intombi entle.” The smile on your lips widen. She never let her spirits fall no matter the circumstance and that was admirable to you for all that she had been through.

“Bast you all get bigger everytime I see you! Look at you.” A warm smile lingers on your lips as you watch Shuri tickle and interrogate her neice and nephews about their day.

“She loves those babies.” Ramonda chuckles as she watches along with you. You nod

“More than anyone, could truly understand.”

“Hey to you too sister.” Cha says sitting in the corner of the hospital room. Shuri looks up from the children only for a brief second. Still very off out from her and her sisters earlier conversation, but she chooses not to argue as of now. Instead she places a kiss to each child’s head and stands to her feet.

“Hey Cha.” She says before heading over to her mother. Removing your hand from Ramonda’s grasp you step back allowing Shuri access to her mother.

Leaning over her mother, she places a gentle kiss to her foerhead, smoothing her hand over hair, “How are you feeling, mama?” Ramonda looks up at her daughter a weak smile passing over her lips.

“I’m just fine little girl.” Shuri smirks. That was always her answer.

“Yea. Well I’ll let your doctor tell me how true that is.”

“Don’t you go getting all worked up over me now. How are you?” She asked lifting her hand to Shuri’s cheek.

“Worried mama.” Shuri whispers, eyes revealing the truth behind that statement.

“I am ok. My dear, and there’s no need at all to be worried. You have all the strength you need to survive, and not to mention an abundance of knowledge. You are an Udaku. As much you want to renounce that name It holds alot of power. Every once in awhile you’ll need to tap into it.” Shuri didn’t like this conversation. She didn’t like it one bit. Her eyes searched her mothers face a since of dread washing over her.

“Mama? What’s happening what’s going on?”

“I need to head out it’s getting late. Shuri you got cash so the kids can eat?” Cha stands from her seat appearing eager to leave. Shuri stands to her full height, over Cha’s attitude.

“You don’t see me talking to my mama?” Shuri’s face scrunches, and Cha folds her arms across her chest rolling her neck.

“Well like I informed you earlier. My children haven’t eaten all day. So I need to go and get them fed.”

“And since you’re depending on ME to feed them it would be smart of you to wait until I finish talking to mother.” Shuri rebuts

“I don’t have time to wait for you.” Shuri chuckles.

“Oh I’m sorry, is the crack calling?”

“Shuri!” Both you and Ramonda interject reminding her of the presence of Cha’s children.

The doctor enters the room, as Shuri and Cha grill each other from across the room.

“You must be Shuri.” A polite smile graced his face as he approached Shuri his hand outstretched.

“Yes.” She says softly before taking his hand to shake.

“Nice meeting you young lady. I am Doctor W’Kabi. There are a few things that I need to go over with you and your family. Is everyone in the room authorized to hear?” You stand to your feet.

“I’ll head out. Shuri how about you give me the money for the food and I take them downstairs to eat so you all can talk.” Shuri’s eyes soften at the sound of your voice. She nods reaching into her pocket to get her wallet.

“Uh! Excuse you? I don’t know her Shuri! She’s not taking my kids anywhere!” Her eyes land on you looking you over with a condescending stare.

“And I’m not giving YOU money. So it seems we’re at an empass here sister.” The tension growing thicker between the two siblings. Shuri’s eyes squinted, her legs slightly parting as she locked her fingers together at her hips. Cha’s nostrils flared as she looked back and forth between you two.

“Girl fuck you.” You immediately step forward..

“Uh uh, that’s enough. You may not know me but I know that Shuri is constantly sacrificing to help you feed your own children and your not about to keep disrespecting her in front of me.” Cha smirks stepping forward.

“Little girl, What do you think you’re gonna do?” Yoo step forward as well never being one to back down but Shuri immediately grabs your arm.

“Chill.” She says pulling you behind her. “Cha, this is not a problem you want. Now Y/n is going to take the kids to get food Sonwe can talk to the doctor.” Turning around to face you, Shuri sees that your eyes were still set on her sister. She touched your cheek bringing you back to her.

“Hey, calm down. Just handle this for me so I can find out what going on with my mother.” Your eyes finally land back on Shuri’s face as you calm down. You nod.

“I am. I got it. She’s just disrespectful as hell.” You say mumbling pulling yourself away from Shuri’s grasp and gathering the children. Shuri can’t help but smile a bit as she watches you leave the room. Knowing you would have much more to say. When all of the commotion was finally over Shuri brought her attention back to the doctor.

“I apologize for the disruption Doctor. You may continue.” Shuri looks over at her mother who had been abnormally quiet throughout the hostile exchange. She seemed dazed, just trying to keep herself awake. She turned back to the doctor needing to know what was going on.

“Yes.. Well.” Dr. W’Kabi says moving right along. “Earlier before your arrival we were discussing the current state of the cancer. Unfortunately, it has spread, and it’s becoming very aggressive, taking a major toll on her body. I’m sorry to say it’s only going to get worse from here.” It felt like a punch to the gut, and tears streamed from Shuri’s eyes.

“S-so what do we do? What do we have to do?” Shuri’s eyes glanced over the room. Challan remained steadfast in her spot almost looking as though this was all inconveniencing her.

“We’ve discussed it being best that your mother goes into a hospice facility.” Shuri froze. Her world begining to feel as though it was crashing around her.

“N-no, no, no. W-We can’t afford a facility.” Shuri says through her tears.

“There are low income options that are covered by the state th-“

“I know what you’re talking about, and I’m not letting my mother go there. They don’t give a fuck about those people!”

“Shuri..” Ramonda’s voice came out in a whisper behind her. Shuri turns to her mother.

“No mama. You’re not going there!”

“I-I’m sorry, young lady. Your mother has already allowed your sister to fill out the paper work.” Shuri’s head whipped around again. Confusion taking over her as she stared at the doctor in disbelief. She scanned the room once again her eyes like daggers landing on Cha.

“You did what mama?” She whispered, addressing her mother as she grimaced at her sister. “Cha doesn’t give a fuck about you! You let her sign you into a death trap?!” Her voice now raised, trembling with all of her bubbling emotions.

“You know what. I’m sick of your shit Shuri! I’m the oldest, and I can damn well help take care of mama!”

“Bitch! Your brain is fucking fried you can’t even take care of your damn kids!”

“STOP IT!” Ramonda’s voice carries throughout the room, strong this time making them both freeze as they had a stand off in the middle of the room.

“Doctor could you please give us a moment.” Dr. W’Kabi slightly bows his head as he steps out giving them space to talk.

“As long as the two of you are breathing. I don’t want to hear you disrespect eachother the way you have today. You’re treating one another like strangers and like it or not. The two of you are all you’ve got in this world. So you may not like eachother. But, you better figure out how to love. Do you understand me?” Both of the sisters held their poster. Looking the other over as though they were forever enemies.

“I said do you understand me!” Her vice raises again and the two of them finally answer their mumbled agreement.

“Challan step out.” Ramonda commands as Shuri’s nostrils flare, her breathing excelerated as she mugged her sister as she stormed from the room.

“Alright that’s enough Shuri.” Shuri snaps back around to her mother.

“Mama this is crazy!”

“What’s done is done. It’s my decision and I did what I had to do for you.”

“For me? This isn’t for me mama I need you. What am I supposed to do without y-“

“You’re gonna make it. Is what you’re going to do little girl.” Shuri shut her mouth. As the tears flow.

“I ca-can’t mama. I can’t.” Ramonda’s own tears began to flow.

“It’s time Shuri, and I need you to figure things out.”

“I don’t have anybody else. They’re gonna put me in the system.”

“No. Cha’s of age so I’ve allowed her to be placed as your legal guardian.” Shuri’s eye almost take over her face at this information.

“WHAT! Cha’s supposed to be my guardian and she’s hanging on to her kids by a thread!”

“Let me talk girl damnit….I wish that me and your father did better by all of you. I live in constant regret of the way the lifestyle we chose tore apart our family. What it did to my dear T’Challa.” Ramonda chokes up at the mention of Shuri’s brother who was killed along with her father fighting a senseless gang war. A tear fell from Shuri’s eyes. She missed her brother everyday. “ All of those late nights. The money. The power. And now I have nothing to give. Grief has made me sick in my body. I’ve held on this long for the two of you. Allowing Cha guardianship over you gives you time. And hopefully it will pull you closer again. You’ve been blessed with amazing gifts Shuri. Don’t let struggle over take you. Continue excelling in your studies and you’ll get all of you out of Brick District.”

“Ma- I”

“Shuri.. I’m not asking you. I need you to do this. I understand this is a lot to put on the shoulders of a teenaged girl and I hate that this is the only option. You need to focus. I need to know you hear what I’m saying.Take the curse from our families name.” Shuri looked at her mother her eyes clenching shut. This was it. She was her only way out.

“Yes Umama.” She whispers. Ramonda lifts her hand again raising it to Shuri’s cheek. “I love you child. And I’m so sorry for the life your father and I chose. But, you’ll be better. You’ll be great. Promise me that.” Shuri’s eyes fluttered as she held back tears.

“Yes Mother. I promise.” Shuri says softly.

Shuri leaned down. Placing a gentle kiss on her mothers cheek.

“Come see me as much as you can. I love you. But you’re not going to sit and sulk in this hospital with me any longer. They’ll be taking me shortly.” Shuri broke, she lay next to her mother a moment allowing her tears to fall as Ramonda comforted her. Rubbing her head as she snuggled into the crook of her neck.

“You’re going to be great girl. You’re going to change lives.“ Shuri lay there for a few more minutes before standing to her feet wiping away her tears.

“I love you mama.” Ramonda smiles.

“Go child. I’ll see you soon.” Shuri nods, slowly turning to walk out of her mothers room.

“Oh Shuri?” She calls and Shuri turns once more. “Tell Y/n how you feel.” Shuri’s heart drops into her stomach. Her sexuality had never been a topic of conversation between her mother and her. But, she knew. Of course she knew. This causes a light smile to lift the corners of Shuri’s lips, before she exited her mothers room.

Your head quickly lifts, as the door opens. You stand from the bench that you’d been sitting in, approaching Shuri, concern etched into your face. Shuri takes in her surrounding.

“Where’s Cha and the kids?” The tone of her voice almost broke you. Though her head was held high as she walked out of the room. Her voice gave way to her pain.

“Cha came and snatched them up. So I just came back to wait for you.” You say softly. Shuri nods, as you step forward.

“You ok?” Shuri just shakes her head, stepping forward into your arms. Her’s snaking around your waist, laying her forehead onto your shoulder, allowing her tears to flow. Silently, you wrap your arms around her shoulders lending your wordless comfort.

“Cha signed mother into the counties hospice facility.” She whispered against your neck. Her tears soaking through your shirt.

“What?” It comes out like breath, You were taken aback. Hospice? “Oh Bast. Shuri.” Your eyes welled as you rubbed gentle circles into her back. Her news struck a bit of fear within you. What now? What would happen to her? So many questions went through your mind but now wasn’t the time. You chose to continue lightly stroking her back as she wept into your shoulder.

“I can feel you worrying through your fingertips Amanzi.” Shuri says, pulling herself up. Almost as though it was reflex you reached up placing your hand to her cheek flicking away her tears with your thumb.

“I’m sorry. I-I’m just. What’s going to happen to you?” Shuri sighs her hand coming up to grip the wrist of your hand that cupped her cheek.

“Cha is now my legal guardian.” Your mouth drops.

“Cha? Cha? As in your sister that can’t take care of her own kids? How does that work? Are you going to move with her? What if- “

“Y/n.” She cuts you off with a finger beneath your chin. Her thumb gently pressing against your lips, before it slides down your soft lips. Your body immediately froze. The touch felt so much more intimate than she’d ever touched you before. Your eyes locked on to hers as she spoke to you.

“I work. I’ll figure this out.” You let out a slightly shaky breath trying to cover up how much her touch had effected you.

“Shuri you’re only sixteen. There’s only so much you can handle.” Shuri’s thumb now traced your lower lip and it seemed as though her eyes were focused there before her gaze finally met yours.

“I don’t have a choice.” She whispered.

Your eyes welled. No matter how unfair. She was right. This was her reality. No amount of feeling sorry, or worrying about her was going to change that fact. So you swallow your tears. Looking up at her still wrapped in her embrace.

“And you’ll never go through it alone.” That was a solemn promise that you would forever keep. Shuri’s heart heard it. She nodded slowly. Eyes never leaving yours. It was a silent agreement that you would remain beside her through the thick of it. Little did either of you know there was a pull inside of both of you. To seal your agreement with a kiss. However neither of you wanted to loose the other. And not knowing the others intent caused you both to step out of the intimate embrace. Clearing your throats awkwardly.

“Uh, I should get you home.” You nod in agreement.

“Yea.”

The sun was begining to set as the two of you rode through the city. The two of you taking a short detour to Shuri’s so that she could give you notes for your exam tomorrow. The ride was quiet and peaceful. You held Shuri tight allowing her to process her thoughts. Once at her apartment building the two of you head up stairs. The trip was meant to be in and out, but Shuri would never allow you to be outside alone in her neighborhood. Though yours wasn’t the safest either, she’d never allow you to be hurt on her watch.

Unlocking the door to the apartment, You both step inside, and Shuri hits the the light switch….and nothing happens. Shuri flicks the switch back and forth a few times silently before her shoulders slumps. Her head drops and her eyes shut tightly. Before….

“Fuuuuck!” She hauls off punching the wall above the light switch several times. Her final straw for the day being reached.

“I’m tired! I’m of this struggle shit!” You could see the emotional exhaustion take over her. Her body finally collapsing to the floor and down you went with her. Cradling her head against your bossom.

“I know”, was all you could give. Because after the today there wasn’t much comfort in words. Shuri had been through enough to break most adults.

“You’re not alone Shuri. You’re not by yourself.” You whisper as you hold her rocking her in your arms. The two of you held that position. You hummed to her. Rubbing her head until you felt her breathing slow, her grip loosening around you.

“I should get you home.” You hear her muffled words.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You immediately rebut. Shuri pulls herself away from you, shaking her head.

“No. You need to get home. This is not your problem. I don’t have power or any food. I gave Cha my last few dollars for the kids. I’m tapped out. I’m going to take you home. Tomorrow I’ll see if I can get an advance at work or something. It’s only one night. I’ll figure it out.”

“You haven’t figured it out yet?” You ask.

“I’m not leaving you here alone, and hungry in the dark.”

“And just how do you plan to pull that off. Your mother hates me and my family. You think she’s about to let you have a sleep over at my place.” Shuri chuckles sarcastically. “Anyway, I can’t keep letting you do this. These are my struggles y/n. Maintaining a friendship doesn’t require you taking on my burdens. I would never ask that of you.”

“You haven’t. I’m offering my back to help carry some of the weight Shuri. You can’t do this alone. You were hit with a lot today, and I couldn’t sleep at night knowing your here pretending you don’t have anyone else. I love you, and right now you don’t need to be alone. More than ever you need someone in your corner, and it’s important to me that I’m that person, So let me be.” Shuri’s heart skips a beat as she looks into your eyes, her lip trembling. After the city had shunned her and her family, you’d stepped up. Refusing to lump her into her fathers sins. You and your friendship meant the world to her.

You stood to your feet reaching for her hand pulling her to her feet.

“I’m going to call Nevaeh and tell her I’m going to tell mom I’m staying with her. I’ll get a few dollars from her and some food. We’re going to get some candles and batteried for flashlights and we’re gonna thug this out together. And you don’t have a choice.”

Another tear rolled down Shuri’s cheek as she silently nodded letting out a small exhale. You reach up wiping away the tear quickly before taking your hand in hers.

“Let’s go.”

As of now there were so many words that Shuri wanted to say. So much gratitude she had that she wanted to spill over into you. She battled inside with it, and finally decided to settle on a simple. “Thank you.”

Shuri gets you home. Parking a block away so that noone notified your mother about who you’d been with. Their weren’t many parents who would be fond of their children befriending Uthixo’s daughter. So she steered clear of your mother. Not wanting to cause a riff in your home. So, you ran up to your apartment quickly to grab the things you’d need for the night, as Shuri sat waiting on her bike, under the disguise of the nights darkness.

Thunderous bass reached her ears before the brand new black escalade approaching her came into view. A long sigh escaped her lips. She rolled her eyes, taking off her helmet, swinging a leg over the front of her bike. She sat to the side elbows to knees…waiting.The truck slowly rolled to a stop in front of her. The window rolling down to a smile filled with gold.

“What up lil cuz! I ain’t seen you around these parts in a minute. I thought y’all let them run y’all outta town.” He chuckles. Shuri’s face scrunches up in annoyance.

“N’jadaka.” Her voice was nonchalant. Demeanor calm, as she waited for her older cousin to state his business.

“I can’t check up on family? We are still family. I know Unc didn’t give a fuck about that. But, I do. Y’all been straight? I’ve seen Cha around and she not lookin’ too good.” His eyes appeared concerned but the small smirk on his lips showed his true face. Shuri chuckled unamused.

“Funny…You think we don’t know you’re feeding her the shit that’s got her fucked up?” He finally allowed his smile to break free.

“Ah man baby cuz…See that’s business. She was getting ahold to that shit before I came along. We both know that.” He took a break to take a long drag of a blunt sitting between two fingers. “You a genius and shit right. You know whether I was giving it to her or not she was gon’ find it. Might as well be family.”

In a way he was right. Cha had always been the type to end up in things she wasn’t supposed to. But, that was still no reason to allow her to indulge. Shuri decided to ignore his comments. Choosing silence, hoping that it would speed up this exchange. She wasn’t in the mood.

“Look lil cuz. I know you don’t trust me because of what your pops did to mine and all. Y’all think I’m out to get you and shit. It’s a valid fear.” Shuri chuckled once again now sliding off of her bike choosing to lean against. Shuri held no fear in her heart for N’Jadaka. “But, I want you to know there’s no hostility between you and me. You ain’t have shit to do with that. As a matter of fact with my status out here and your smarts. We could team up. Run the biggest most undetictable operation Brick District ever seen.” Shuri shakes her head a smirk on her face, leaning against her bike.

“You do realize I’m 16 right?”

“Yea. But you mature and shit, and you got heart lil nigga. You ain’t scared of shit. That’s the brilliance of it man. Nobody would suspect you. The genius girl trying to stay under the radar. Trying to denounce her fathers name. No one would ever believe you would get back into this shit.”

“Because wouldn’t.” Shuri says matter of factly, crossing her arms over her chest and crossing her legs at the ankle. Killmonger scanned her. Taking note of her calm demeanor. Not an ounce of fear detected. He smirked. He admired that about Shuri. Young and fearless.

“Wouldn’t you though? I know y’all over there struggling. Your sister has a lot to say when she’s off a bean. You 16 working the fucking mines to keep food on the table. That ain’t no life for a child man.”

“But dealing is?” Shuri’s eyebrow raised as her voice went up an octave. “If you give so much of a fuck why not help us? You’ve got it right?”

“Nah, I don’t give shit for free. Family or not. You earn your keep. Your traitor ass daddy taught me that.”

“Well, I am not my father.” N’jadaka took the moment to lean out of the window. Taking a slow drag, blowing smoke into Shuri’s face.

“Wrong lil cuz. You’re the most like your father. You can’t outrun that shit.” Staring into N’jadaka’s eyes, Shuri bit into her cheeks jaws clenching. Tension building in the loud silence.”

From the corner of her eye Shuri sees you rushing over your bag thrown over your shoulder. N’Jadaka’s eyes follow Shuri’s, a smile spreads across his face.

“That’s you?” Shuri’s eyes cut over to him. Her face warming up slightly.

“What?” Taking notice he teases a bit more.

“That pretty little lady walking over this way. That your girl?” Suddenly the calm demeanor that Shuri wore earlier was becoming a bit less cool.

“What are you talking about?”

N’jadaka throws his head back laughing. He found it. A weakness. “Don’t play coy with me. I know you don’t think you give off you like boys vibes.” Shuri’s face flushed.

“Kiss my ass.”

“She’s a lil cutie.” He chuckles as you approach.

“Hey.” You say to Shuri and Shuri only, as you walk up looking between the two.

“Hey.” Shuri says grabbing her helmet.

“Heeeeey.” Killmonger says a smile taking over his face. You stare at him face upturned in disapproval. He lets out a hardy laugh at this.

“Yea she’s the one for you lil cuz. Looks like you and your lil lady friend got somewhere to be. So I’ll let you go.” He smiles looking you over and then turns his attention back to Shuri. “Remember what we talked about. You know where to find me.” You and Shuri watch as he slowly drives away.

“You ok?” You ask turning towards Shuri.

“Yea. I’m cool. Just N’jadaka being himself.”

“Well whatever that was stay away from it. I know Killmonger doesn’t want anything good from you.” Turning to look at you. Shuri bites her lip nodding her head.

“Yea.” She whispers to herself. “Let’s go.”

The two of you now sat on the bed in Shuri’s room lit by candle light. Studying using a small lantern for light. You’d brung a small wireless speaker that kept a great charge. Soft music played as you two studied and ate the food and snacks you’d snuck from home. Shuri had to admit she was grateful that you’d stayed. With you with her, her struggle didn’t feel so much like struggle. You’d made the night pleasant. The two of you talking and laughing as though this was just a normal sleep over.

“Ok. I think I got it now. I feel confident that I can ace this test now.” Shuri’s eyes lit up as she smiled at you.

“You were always gonna ace the test. You know this stuff.” You smile back at her looking into her eyes.

“Yea.” You say softly. The two of you sat in silence for a moment as music played softly in the background. Shuri layed back in her bed. Closing her eyes her hands resting behind her head. She seemed content in the moment as you looked her over. You recognized that when you looked at Shuri. When you were around Shuri, something felt different. Shuri in the few years you’d know her had grown to be your best friend. However, something about the friendship the two of you had seemed like more. It was weighing heavily on your mind as you continue stealing slight glances at Shuri, and you couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Shuri?” You say breaking the silence.

“Hm?” She reply’s her eyes still closed.

“Do um wh-why…We never talk about crushes and stuff.” You say mentally face palming. Real smooth Y/n. Your heart was pounding and your palms started to sweat a bit. Shuri’s eyes slowly opened as she turned to face you hearing your nerves through the question. She sat up clearing her throat a bit her nerves picking up a bit as well.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I’m just saying that we’ve been friends for awhile, and we’ve never talk about people we like or anything. Is that weird?” Shuri is silent for a moment. Her mind reeling a bit. Where did this come from?

“Uh..I mean yea. I-I guess. Is that something you want to talk about with me?” Shuri’s heart was dropping into her stomach. The last thing she wanted was to have to talk to the girl she loved about some boy she was crushing on. But, she had to have seen this coming right. This was the cherry on top of a shitty day.

“I don’t know.” You whisper. “But we’re bestfriends, we should want to right?”

“I guess…So do you? Do you like someone?” Shuri didn’t want to know this in the slightest.

“I-I think I do. I’m not sure.” Shuri felt her heart shatter. She nods and for some reason she as much as this conversation was breaking her she’d decided to continue.

“W-who is he?” You shake your head.

“It’s a she.” Shuri’s back straightened her interest fully peaked now. A girl. You liked another girl? Shuri’s heart was now pounding.

“You like girls?”

“I never really thought about it before. But, I do know I like her and it feels like it’s in more than a friendly way.”

“Oh.” Shuri felt like she could cry. You liked girls and you still didn’t see her that way.

“What about you? Is their anyone who’s caught your eye?” Shuri sighs

“It wouldn’t really matter. It’s not like anyone would be interested in dating me around these parts. Maybe I’ll be more experienced when I go to college.” She says softly. You move a bit closer to her grabbing her hand.

“That’s what you really think? That noone is interested?” Shuri nods, she could feel herself falling into a pit. Feeling a bit more alone again. Knowing you were interested in women and yet she still had no chance.

“There’s no one that you’ve been interested in though.” You press a bit. Shuri brings her gaze up studying your face.

“Yea.” Her voice was soft, almost hesitant. “She’s perfect too. More beautiful than I could ever describe. But, like I said she isn’t interested.” A lump forms in your throat.

“A girl? Y-you like girls too?” Shuri smirks slightly. “I’m not sure. But, I know I like her.” She says and the butterflies take over your belly as your gazes lock onto eachother. You don’t know what comes over you but, you can no longer hold your tongue.

“I see the way you look at me Shuri.” She freezes. Heat over taking her body.

“H-huh?”

“The long glances when you think I’m not looking. I see them.” Shuri’s hand begins to shake nervously. She’s left speechless. She has no idea what to say. So you continue. “I-If I’m the girl you’re talking about…I’d say I’m definietly interested. Because you’re who I’m talking about.” You swallow your nerves. Figuring it was now or never. Shuri’s jaw dropped, She felt as if a sudden jolt of electricity had coursed through her veins leaving her momentarily stunned.

She couldn’t lie and say she that wasn’t something she did. She could hardly consentrate around you. Ofcourse at one point or another you would’ve seen her. Now here you were under the glow of candlelight. Your pretty skin lit to perfection. Using those beautiful lips to tell her you felt the same and she couldn’t utter a word.

“I only saw because when you weren’t looking I was stealing glances too. I guess you were too busy thinking no one wanted you to notice.” Shuri finally finds her voice though it comes out soft and breathy. The way her heart was pounding making it difficult for her to breath.

“I-I wanted to s-say something. I just didn’t want to lose you. Y-you’re just so much more than a crush to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You entered my life at the lowest point. My family lost its protector and we were being shunned. Life as I’d known it was over. I thought I’d never know what it was like to love and be loved again. And then this pretty girl with big eyes, and big hair, that always smelled like a bakery came out of nowhere. Dried my tears, fed me, cared for me. The love you have for me gets me through. You rescued me Sthandwa sami. I couldn’t risk loosing you. I don’t even like thinking about a life without you.”

Oh, to be loved. That was the day you felt it. The day you found out what it was to truly feel and be loved. Tears fell from your eyes. Now you were the one left speechless. Shuri reached up cupping your cheek in her hand wiping away your tears with her thumb.

“Y/n?..” Her voice gentle.

“Yes.” You breathe.

“Can I kiss you?” Your heart fluttered as you nod lightly. It was like a gravitational pull, the way your lips slowly found eachothers. A sweet innocent peck placed on one another’s lips. And then another, and then another, until your lips would not unglue. Shuri leaned back into the headboard and you slowly climb onto her lap as her arms snacked around your waist.

And there the two of you found home.

Needing to breathe the two of you part looking into eachothers eyes cheeks warming as you break out into a giggle.

“Wow.” You say. Shuri smiles, her thumbs rubbed gentle circles into your sides as she looked up at you.

“So…Um Would you like to be my girlfriend?” Shuri asked softly still a bit unsure. Still hardly believing this was happening. The smile on your face could’ve lit the night.

“Of course I do.” Shuri bit her lip to contain her excitement. Leaning up to place another gentle kiss to your lips.

“You have to promise me something.”

“Anything.” She says without an ounce of hesitation in her voice.

“I know you’ve been through a lot, I know life is doing a number on you even now. It’s made you have to mature much faster than the rest of us I know. There may not be much that I can do to make things easier for you. But, I can be here. I know one day we’re going to get out of the bricks. We’ll be happy living out our dreams. You’re so gifted I know you’ll have to leave at some point to bring evolution to the world. Even then, if we loose eachother along the way and the world you find brings you hard times, I’ll always be here.” You place your finger onto her chest where her heart thumped loudly. “Wherever I am in the world. No matter how shunned, or ostracized you feel. Know that I love you, not out of any obligation. Simply because I want to. Remember I’ll never be to far for you to come home to. My arms will always keep you safe and warm. Promise me you’ll remember that.”

You poured out your heart as tears streamed from both of your eyes. Her hands gripped tighter against your hips as she shook with emotion. There were no words she could be said to make you understand the security you’d given Shuri with your statement. All she could do was lean forward placing her lips to yours. Inside that kiss you felt her promise.

The two of you fell sound asleep in eachothers arms that night. Your hands pressed delicately pressed against eachother hearts. The next morning Shuri drops you off at school, sending you off with a light kiss and encouragement for your exam. She wouldn’t be going to school today she had to hustle up money to get her lights turned on at home. She went to her job working an early shift seeing if she could get a loan. They were willing but she could get it until the next week. She went home searching for anything of value to pawn. But their valuables had been taken by the police after her father had passed. She was hitting a dead end on all fronts.

Shuri found herself riding aimlessly through The Bricks. Wind blowing through her shirt. Stress weighing heavily on her shoulders. As she rode she found herself traveling a familiar path. One she hadn’t been to since her father was alive. One she vowed to never step foot in again. Her bike came to a stop in front of a massive warehouse. She swore she’d never resort to this life. Now here she was tail tucked between her legs going back to the only life she’d known. She closed her eyes and let out a small breath before taking off her helmet and hopping off of her bike, making her way around the back of the building. She banged on the door hard 3 times, and soon after a latch opened and a pair of eyes appeared through the Judas hole.

“What you need?”

“I’m here for N’jadaka.”

“Who dat?” Shuri rolled her eyes.

“You know who I’m talking about. I’m not calling him fucking Killmonger.” She hears laughter come from the other side of the door.

“Let her in Hemp.” The door opens and Shuri steps in. Topless women cooked dope and men counted racks of money. Flashes of her brother walking down the stairs with his infectious smile went through Shuri’s mind. Her mother strutting through the rows of women making sure the coke was perfectly distributed. Shuri’s eyes scanned over the building until they land on Killmonger. Visions of her father sitting dressed to the nines a cigar placed in between his lips. “You’re my prized possession intomba. I do this all for you.” He would say. She shook off the memories. Her gaze locking onto N’Jadaka’s who sat leaned back in the sitting area, a telling smile on his face. Shuri made her way over to him.

“Little cousin. Here so soon. How can I help you?” Shuri’s jaw clenched a bit. Angry with herself for being here. She stands there quietly. Her eyes looking ove all of Killmongers henchmen. He immediately got the hint. She wasn’t going to speak until they cleared area. He signaled for the men to leave and they all filed out. Shuri threw a glance over her shoulder, before turning her attention back towards him.

“I need your help.” She says m, undertones of defeat in her voice.

“Help? What kind of a help?”

“I need a job…and a loan. I won’t beat around the bush. The mines isn’t cutting it. Mama’s in hospice and Cha’s useless. The lights are out in the apartment and I have to figure out how to keep up with the rent and utilities so they dont suspect I’m there alone, or I’m going into the system.” Her head drops as she bites into her cheeks. “And my girl..I don’t want her to be with a bum. She deserves the best and I want to be able to give it to her.” He leans forward his elbows settled on his knees, as he looks Shuri over.

“Ah..young love. It’s a beautiful thing.” He says pulling out a blunt placing it to his lips before sparking it up. “Sounds like you’re in a bad way….You thought about this? This is really what you want to do?” She nods and speaks.

“I have conditions.” He smirks.

“Ofcourse you do.” Shuri rolls her eyes in response.

“You gotta let me go after I graduate. I want out of all this the day of graduation. I just need this to stay on my feet for a couple of years. And I need whatever you have me do to be low profile.”

N’jadaka nods understandingly. He stands and walks over to a safe entering the code. Once it’s opened he pulls out a stack of money, walking over to Shuri placing the money in her hand.

“That’s twenty thousand. Take that as a welcome to the family business gift.” He says with a smirk. Shuri stared at the money in her hands. She hadn’t seen this much money at once in years. “What do I have to do for this?” N’Jadaka shakes his head aware of Shuri’s distrust.

“I was serious about what I said yesterday. I don’t want you out on the corners. I would prefer that we were partners. That big brain of yours could make us some real money. So for the next two years I’d like for you to be here with me. Help me revamp my operation and graduation day you’re free to live your life.”

“So you want me to be your right hand?”

“Exactly.”

“I get 50/50.”

“Done”

“Minimum visibility.”

“Almost none exisistence.”

Shuri’s jaw clenches in thought as she took in her surroundings. “I’m not getting my hands dirty N’Jadaka. Business operations is my job. I tell you what to do, you pass it along. I come in weekdays when the sun sets and for emergency’s only. Deal?” Killmonger places out a hand to shake, and Shuri takes it.

“Deal lil Udaku. You’re quite the bargainer. I look forward to doing business with you. See you Monday.” Shuri nods. Placing the money into her jacket pockets.

“See you Monday.”

I think back on that day often. Wondering just where would I be if I’d just toughed out the struggle for awhile. But, I didn’t. And that decision haunts me to this day.

That’s where it all began. The day I fell in love and simultaneously ruined my life.

#Spotify #shuri fanfiction #shuri angst #shuri black panther #shuri imagine #shuri fic #shuri udaku #shuri x reader #shuriri #shuri x you #Letitia Wright

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earlycuntsets · 14 days

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mcr shows on youtube pt. 4 (2011 - 2023) last one :]

-> pt. 1 (2002 - 2005)

-> pt. 2 (2005 - 2007)

-> pt. 3 (2007 - 2011)

08/05/2011 pnc bank arts center holmdel nj - the academy is my beautiful romance

08/13/2011 hersheypark stadium hershey pa - the academy is my beautiful romance

08/20/2011 first midwest bank amphitheater tinley park il - the academy is my beautiful romance

08/26/2011 little john's farm reading england - em

08/31/2011 rogers arena vancouver canada - catie cunningham

09/03/2011 usana amphitheater west valley city utah - delaney nye

09/04/2011 comfort dental amphitheater greenwood village co - the academy is my beautiful romance

09/09/2011 capitol federal park at sandstone amphitheater bonner springs ks - the academy is my beautiful romance

09/11/2011 dte energy music theater clarkston mi - justanotherkilljoy

09/18/2011 farm bureau live at virginia beach va - the academy is my beautiful romance

09/20/2011 verizon wireless amphitheater charlotte nc - the academy is my beautiful romance

1/22/2012 gold coast parklands gold coast australia - the academy is my beautiful romance

02/03/2012 adelaide showground adelaide australia - the academy is my beautiful romance

02/05/2012 mccallum park perth australia - myxinfinitexromance

05/19/2012 north beach asbury park asbury park nj - ryan hanratty

12/20/2019 the shrine expo hall los angeles ca - gabe havel photo

05/16/2022 the eden project day one st austell england - the academy is my beautiful romance

05/17/2022 the eden project day two st austell england - the academy is my beautiful romance

05/21/2022 stadium mk milton keynes england - TheChickenGiraffe

05/24/2022 royal hospital kilmainham dublin ireland - the academy is my beautiful romance

05/28/2022 sofia gardens cricket ground cardiff wales - the academy is my beautiful romance

06/04/2022 bologna sonic park arena parco north italy - the academy is my beautiful romance

06/06/2022 olympiahalle munich germany - the academy is my beautiful romance

06/07/2022 budapest park budapest hungary - the academy is my beautiful romance

06/09/2022 progresja warsaw poland - the academy is my beautiful romance

06/11/2022 o2 arena prague czech republic - the academy is my beautiful romance

06/13/2022 stora scenen gröna lund stockholm sweden - live from stockholm

08/19/2022 paycom center oklahoma city ok - tony

08/23/2022 bridgestone arena nashville tn - the academy is my beautiful romance

08/24/2022 heritage bank center cincinnati oh - the academy is my beautiful romance

08/29/2022 wells fargo philadelphia pa - ronaldb2985

08/30/2022 mvp arena albany ny - the academy is my beautiful romance

09/05/2022 scotia bank toronto ca - the academy is my beautiful romance

09/16/2022 riot fest douglass park chicago il - geoffrey gardner

09/20/2022 prudential center newark nj - deadhoarse

09/24/2022 fla live arena sunrise fl - the academy is my beautiful romance

10/03/2022 tacoma dome tacoma wa - seattle concerts

10/05/2022 oakland arena oakland ca - HisoKu

10/07/2022 t-mobile arena las vegas nv - wormspeddler (smeagles)

10/08/2022 aftershock discovery park sacramento ca - the academy is my beautiful romance

10/09/2022 barclays center brooklyn ny - the academy is my beautiful romance

10/15/2022 kia forum inglewood ca - the academy is my beautiful romance

10/23/2022 when we were young day day two las vegas - the academy is my beautiful romance

10/29/2022 when we were young fest las vegas nv - PichyJr

11/18/2022 autódromo hermanos rodríguez mexico city mexico - leashalia

03/11/2023 the outer fields at western springs auckland new zealand (soundcheck) - the academy is my beautiful romance

03/23/2023 qudos bank arena sydney australia - the academy is my beautiful romance

-> pt. 1 (2002 - 2005)

-> pt. 2 (2005 - 2007)

-> pt. 3 (2007 - 2011)

#my chemical romance #mcr #frank iero #gerard way #mikey way #ray toro #swarm tour #swarm era #return era #danger days era

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indig0trolls · 9 months

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Wow a whole crazy Fleet set? Nuts! THESE ARE 15$ USD EACH!

I'm doing these a little differently than I normally do, to kind of. streamline the process?

General rules as follows:

In the interest of fairness, given how fast these go sometimes: FOR THE FIRST 24 HOURS, YOU MAY NOT PURCHASE MORE THAN 2 DESIGNS TOTAL. That includes for yourself AND others. Time posting: 10:41pm EST 12/29/23. You can come back for more if you want tomorrow!

Don’t resell for more than you paid, unless you’ve bought other art for it

You cannot use this design commercially without getting my explicit permission. Yes this includes podcasts.

You can alter the design but please leave it recognizable and please still leave me credit

You may not alter the original artwork under any circumstances

You can’t repost original artwork to other gallery/blogging platforms, but you may post to toyhou.se (you must credit art and design to indig0tea on toyhouse via on-site credit.)

DO NOT DM ME TO PURCHASE. PLEASE FOLLOW THE LINKS ON EACH ADOPT TO PURCHASE, THANK YOU. Only DM me if there's been an error via Ko-FI.

Purchase Links Under cut! I will not be updating these to reflect their sold status during the first 24 hours, you'll just have to check the link. They'll show as sold out if they're sold out.

R1 - LINK - SOLD

R2 - LINK - SOLD

B1 - LINK - SOLD

B2 - LINK

Y1 - LINK - SOLD

Y2 - LINK - SOLD

L1 - LINK - SOLD

L2 - LINK - SOLD

O1 - LINK - SOLD

O2 - LINK - SOLD

J1 - LINK - SOLD

J2 - LINK - SOLD

T1 - LINK - SOLD

T2 - LINK - SOLD

C1 - LINK - SOLD

C2 - LINK - SOLD

I1 - LINK - SOLD

I2 - LINK - SOLD

P1 - LINK - SOLD

P2 - LINK - SOLD

V1 - LINK - SOLD

V2 - LINK - SOLD

F1 - LINK - SOLD

F2 - LINK - SOLD

#My art #adoptables #open adoptables

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schismusic · 5 months

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Joy Division, or: how I learned to stop worrying and love New Order, too

Spring is weird as hell because one time you have this glaring sun that powers you up like being plugged into a wall outlet, then not five minutes later clouds begin to gather and you feel like you're going to die if anything goes south. So the most obvious combination to represent two sides of this same coin, emotional and meteorological, is Joy Division and New Order.

Sometimes you need Transmission or Shadowplay for the sunny days — impassioned jolts, sparks flying everywhere. Sometimes The Perfect Kiss hits harder on a cloudy afternoon, coming back home and in need of that extra push to not fall asleep in the train. It's surprising to realize the versatility displayed by both bands, or the same band in two different iterations according to whomever you ask. Peter Hook says, as late as 1993, that the laziest member of New Order is Ian Curtis. Or again this other person, in the comments under the Atmosphere official video on YouTube, who went to see New Order (Hooky-less New Order, which might be a relevant distinction) at the O2 Arena a couple of years ago and they gave an encore, says "Those of us who stayed got the privilege of watching Joy Division perform three of their songs". Interesting outlook on the matter. I personally saw Peter Hook and the Light play both Joy Division records and, I'm pretty sure, an encore comprised of just Love Will Tear Us Apart at the Arti Vive Festival in Soliera, back when it was still free to attend some of the events. I remember being pretty mad that Hooky had stopped to take pics with basically everyone and then left exactly as I was approaching. In retrospect I don't exactly blame the man, it was like midnight anyway. I remember nothing of the back trip home.

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My first contact with Joy Division happened when I was thirteen and very much in my prog era. I was in Rome staying at an aunt of mine's place for my fourteenth birthday and she told me I could get a CD, since I had gotten some money saved up over time. Some Facebook page dedicated to Pink Floyd I'd liked (yeah, Facebook at age thirteen — I literally just wanted to play a fucking Flash game, back when Facebook allowed them, and I ended up getting to be terminally online. Crazy how things turn out) used to share a lot of memes and fanart relating to the Unknown Pleasures album cover, and me being a massive Pink Floyd head at the time I thought "I mean, if these guys are pushing this band so hard, that's gotta mean something". The album cover was pretty striking, admittedly: a far cry from the paisley ass paintings that I had grown to accept as the gold standard for the music I liked, but its simplicity struck a chord closer to The Dark Side of the Moon, or perhaps The Wall. Those were records I liked a lot, probably called them "the best records ever made" to more than one person, not like they aren't but that's a very bold statement to make when your listening experience consists exactly of

Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor when I was six;

Daft Punk's complete discography (minus Random Access Memories, which wasn't out yet) when I was twelve;

Pink Floyd's complete discography, courtesy of a CD collection coming out with some Italian newspaper, that same year;

a couple random classic rock records recommended to me by older friends and relatives usually well into their fifties or sixties at the time, random people on Internet forums — which, for clarification, I did not actively attend, preferring to just lurk from time to time — and the OndaRock "milestones" page.

So browsing through the surprisingly expansive CDs section of this electronics shop in Rome, and being mesmerized by a vinyl rack in the days when Music on Vinyl was the final frontier of pretending you could re-analogue the digital ("you mean to tell me these are like CDs, but bigger? Whoever designed these truly lived in the future"), I came across that very same album art that had stricken me so hard. I had listened to the first seconds of the album on YouTube, but that weird drum sound — so echoey, so distant, ultimately not particularly powerful, meaning it didn't really sound like Bonzo: it sounded more like my own band, which at the time didn't even exist yet — I didn't really know what to make of. This store I was in had one of those preview listening machines that would scan the barcode on the CDs and give you a small snippet of the song. I pull the CD up to the scanner, the scanner lights up green, I put on the headphones and the solo from this comes up:

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Clearly they had to be kidding me. I had come to know, sneaking into infinitely many rehearsals with the band from my mother's town, what it sounded like when someone tried to play lead without something else filling up the arrangement (even though I didn't really know all that, or at least lacked the vocabulary to properly express it) and, for Christ's sake, didn't these guys notice rehearsing? It sounded empty, weirdly so, and it wasn't my thing, I thought. I put that CD away and picked up a band I knew I'd like — Genesis, specifically. So Nursery Cryme became the first CD I've ever paid with my own money, the very day I turned fourteen. Not a bad pickup. I remember being very impressed with the fast blurring lead guitar on The Musical Box and digging the sweet pastoral atmospheres of For Absent Friends and Harlequin. I still think of that record more often than one would probably assume looking at this blog, or my most played on Spotify. At the time, that was the best move I could take, really: why beat my head against a record that, as your average prog nerd ballbreaker, simply wasn't speaking to me?

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Then all of a sudden in August of the same year my friend's dad hands me a 16 gigabyte USB drive, full of random music from all eras of rock. A lot of it remains inscrutable to me for a really long time, most notably Tom Waits (see related post), but I spent the whole month reading random folder names, seeing if something catches my eyes, and at one point I come across the Mars Volta. Open the folder up, read the names of their first three records, and my first thought is "Christ, these guys look incomprehensible. I'm about to have some fun". Long story short: I end up having a lot of fun, the Mars Volta turns into my favourite band at the time and finding out that they had previously been called At the Drive-In makes me gain some measure of respect for punk rockers: if they tried hard enough, I must've thought, they could prog as hard as anyone. In the meantime the ghost of Joy Division remains at the back of my head. I feel like I'm missing something, for the first time in my life: it's not them, it's me. Too bad that same realization didn't occur to me when it came to the people in my life until much, much later, but that's being fourteen for you I suppose. Early King Crimson and the Mars Volta were the pinnacle of violence to me, and not even the very few Metallica songs I'd downloaded just to see what would happen scratched that itch. It felt a bit too cauterized for some reason (I would later find out I had been looking in the wrong direction the whole time: the Black Album "sucked", according to my favourite metalhead of the time, who somehow catalyzed my interest from the very second I saw him in the school's courtyard. Hard to imagine why I would imprint on people like puppies do, but what the fuck, not like I've ever outgrown that anyway, I've just gotten better at managing it). But I felt there was more than violence to this, or different forms of violence. When Christmas came around and my relatives tried to get me presents, my mother asked if there was anything specific I was interested in, and I basically told her "look, if they can get me some CDs off of this list, I'm golden". It had some bangers on it, namely Noctourniquet by the Mars Volta — it's one of their best and I will die on this hill, be warned — and The Downward Spiral, which might as well warrant its own post in an ideal world. But the best of them all I think came from a random purchase, once again with the little money I had lying around at the time.

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Closer appears to be, right away, a bit more concrete, and if there's something inexperienced music fans like is a pretty packaging that conjures a strong emotional response before they've even played the record. Compare a color-inverted graph of pulsar emissions to a literal funerary monument. Opening up the booklet I was shocked to see that Genesis was used as a negative point of comparison (bad omen, I thought) by people close to the band, and I came across much more detailed information about Ian Curtis's untimely demise — at that time, something far too removed from my experience to be faced with the delicacy and attention it deserves. Atrocity Exhibition hits like a ten-ton truck, a reference which at the time I wouldn't have been able to make for obvious reasons, and Isolation exposes all the nerve tissue under the skin. Passover comes in and strips everything even barer, and then A Means to an End turns… danceable, for some reason? Big emotional moment with The Eternal and Decades, which I thought actually took them closer to my usual tastes. And yet at the same time I kept looking at Colony, Heart and Soul and Twenty Four Hours as the most compelling cuts. Geometric assault sounding like sheet metal if it were music; rhythmically driven emptiness that serves as a minimal backdrop for depressed poetry, and finally a rocking ebb-and-flow that would probably inform a lot of my interest in GY!BE-like post-rock in the coming years. Very interesting to think that the same guys who'd done Unknown Pleasures could think of this. To this day, when asked, I still do think that Closer is the best Joy Division record, but what does it even mean when the records are exactly two, compilations notwithstanding?

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It was around this time that it came to my attention that both Joy Division and another band called New Order had a record called Substance out, both published by the same recording company, both coming out within a year of each other. Looking it up, it turns out it's fully intentional, because New Order is simply Joy Division minus Ian Curtis. It would turn out to be a tad bit more complex than that. Anyway, I look New Order up and kind of have to do a double-take. Synthpop? In my Joy Division? More likely than you'd think, considering Isolation exists. But yeah, that sort of seals it — I wouldn't care about this New Order for a million years. Until all of a sudden a couple of years later David Sylvian bursts like a comet in my face, which of course leads me straight to Japan, the same year as I'd come across Berlin-era Bowie, and you can probably guess where this is going, right?

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Well, you'd be wrong. I still don't check out New Order. There's a whole new world open to me — vaporwave and therefore R Plus Seven come to my attention, which leads me to dissect that record like an alien tool of unclear purposes. This of course leads me onto an ambient tangent, taking me back to my Tim Hecker listens of that same year, which has the effect of renewing my interest in "pure" electronic music and the then-rising post-dubstep movement. The sheer experience of sound, the dazzling modernity and innovation, is what's in at the time. I have no time for nostalgia-pandering dimwits: the future awaits. Then all that jazz from the first Godflesh post hits, then God pulls the funniest gag in the history of viral infections to my memory, and I have some time to actually look back, a bit less prejudiced. As it turns out, synthpop is not the devil, as some of you might have surmised by now, and as I relisten to Blue Monday I realized I have never listened to either of the Substance record. I do know some, most perhaps?, of the tracks on the Joy Division one, and I do think the New Order one has the more striking cover art — not to mention I knew, by this time, that this was the one to give Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance its name, and that Your Silent Face soundtracked one of the most memorable moments in Nicolas Winding Refn's Bronson. As the ultimate Hideo Kojima stan, I couldn't let this slide, so I pop the record on and get hit with this:

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Way to go, guys. Holy shit. I knew that Ceremony was a Joy Division cut before they could record it, but what the hell — Bernard got it, too. It wasn't a matter of singing ability with songs like these, it's just getting it, finding the right energy. They had that right energy. And then it hit me just as many times these dudes have made Blue Monday over and over again before actually getting it right, and everytime I look into it it's funnier and funnier to realize just how many different attempts it took them to finally be Kraftwerk, but augmented — with the stellar results we all know. Everything's Gone Green, 5 8 6, Temptation potentially, all lead up to this one moment in the history of dance music where somehow three dudes and a girl hailing from Manchester managed to out-gay the Pet Shop Boys (by their own admission, apparently), to shake the whole world's collective booty, to do whatever it is they were supposed to do in this last comparison that would ideally make the previous one a bit less obnoxious but whatever, it's 3am as usual, you know how it goes by now don't you? But then after Blue Monday the record keeps going, and thank god it does, because it's banger after banger. How do these guys keep doing it?

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So I spend some time with that record, then it fades down, then it comes back up last month, when the weather calls for it and its parent company. Which is when I find myself watching the Control movie for the first time, surprisingly enough seeing as I already enjoyed the work of Anton Corbijn as a photographer. Looking at all that, it is revealed to me that Joy Division never really having died is not a bug, it's a feature. Everyone is gasping, I get it, but please pick your jaws up and check this out: the band has never learned how to play their respective instruments. One might go so far as to argue they play their own stuff their own way, and that's basically it. Nothing could be further from the truth. These guys jammed, a lot; that's how Joy Division wrote songs, that's how New Order wrote songs, even going as far as having Bernard Sumner fucked up on acid so he could find the chorus to Temptation or the whole band bombed out of their minds on X in Ibiza clubs to write, basically, the entirety of Technique — and even then, not really, there's a couple jangly tracks that the X would most likely render unlistenable but what do I really know? Point being: it might now have been sparked by a music teacher or instructor, it might not have been the product of a process comparable to that within Television, which led them to organically seek out better, more "by the book" musicianship, but New Order were incredibly familiar with their instruments, had formed an element of comfort and understanding that counterbalanced the alien-ness to music terminology.

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Peter Hook recently uploaded a Yamaha-sponsored video to his Instagram, which I am pretty sure has a say in running, where he jams on a Yamaha bass and, you know, it sounds like Hooky alright, but it's never a discernible bassline until he kicks into the A major strumming that opens Love Will Tear Us Apart. Before that, he just strolls around the neck, leisurely strumming away at power chords imbued with that thick chorus and reverb combo he became renowned for. I would never, in my wildest dreams, have imagined I'd find myself thinking "okay, awesome, stop talking — I want to hear you jam a bit more" referring to one of the musicians who were part of possibly two of the craziest storiest in the history of contemporary rock'n'roll, also notorious for playing the rockstar whilst carrying the minimum possible baggage of technical knowledge he could. Once again, this is nowhere near a knock to the man — quite the opposite. Ian Curtis asked "persistence, well, what does it matter?", and Hooky (and, of course, the other members of New Order) found a way to constructively answer that question. Moments before Coil, but a bit later than Israel Regardie, they said "persistence is all" and built a brand on finding a way to consistently sound like splendid, eternal, golden children: "like crystal", impassionate, tightly-knit performers with the purity of a child's heart. Ian Curtis had, in certain ways (at least artistically), the purity of a child in his heart, which some might even argue was a distinguishing feature of most of his literary idols — if you think about it, William Burroughs could be your dirty-minded classmate who walked in on his parents sharing an intimate moment in the bedroom (had his parents been gay men, the metaphor would probably fly better, but that most definitely wasn't the case). So the heart of Joy Division remains untouched, if a bit more naked. Heroes of post-punk, sons of the silent age, you can sleep soundly tonight.

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#schismusic #music #musica #long form content #schism writing #joy division #new order #post punk #new wave #Youtube

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scythidol · 1 year

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❝ WHO IS THIS IRRESISTIBLE CREATURE WHO HAS AN INSATIABLE LOVE FOR THE DEAD ? ❞

@ SCYTHIDOL ﹕a blog which takes requests for pronouns, titles, icons, tumblr layouts (header & icon) & graphics. DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY CREATIONS.

rules, whitelist & blacklist under the cut. only taking requests from the whitelist!

also, i can't control who interacts with my content, but please don't send asks if you're an nsfw blog or heavily interact with drama ^_^

request rules . . .

O1. please keep your request to two themes/characters/ect max, or just send multiple asks

O2. you may be specific, but i might decline if its too complex

O3. i get overwhelmed easily... sorry if you have to wait too long (^_^ ")

O4. you may ask if your request got sent or for me to delete it

O5. if requesting a character, please make sure that they have enough official art (for layouts/graphics) or a wiki (for prns/titles)!

O6. if requesting a character from games like genshin or hsr, please be aware that i only take requests for playable characters

O7. be nice, say please & thank you!

whitelist . . .

these are sources im always ok with doing, you can always ask if i'm alright with doing another source though. maybe i can make an exception if i like the source.

O1. genshin impact

O2. project sekai (and sometimes other vocaloid stuff)

O3. bungou stray dogs

O4. black butler

(beyond this point i get a little iffy with doing pts! you can still ask for them, of course, but i'll be more likely to decline.)

O5. honkai star rail

O6. toilet bound hanako-kun

O7. ouran highschool host club

O8. the disastrous life of saiki k

O9. cookie run kingdom

blacklist . . .

these are sources im not comfortable with doing, please do not ask for these!

O1. irl people (vtubers included)

O2. south park

O3. the dsmp and minecraft youtubers in general

O4. danganronpa

O5. nsfw themes/sources

O6. anything to do with bugs/insects, mainly cockroaches (butterflies/moths are an exception)

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stage-of-sekai · 2 months

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lesson O2: eye shape and coloring.

Eyes are arguably the most important part of a piece of art. Mostly because they are usually a focal point of most drawings. This is especially clear in Project SEKAI! It's one of the things that define the art style. Let's look at some examples, so we can get a feel for what we need to recreate.

Let's look at these two card trims! As you can see, both Saki and Honami have different eye shapes. To get a better look at this, let's break these two down into basic shapes.

Here, you can see some differences in how their eyes are drawn. Saki's are very round and full of life, while Honami's are a bit more curved. This is done intentionally to convey character personality. So, we want to be sure to capture that when drawing. This comparison can be made with everyone in the cast. Using this chart below, one can notice all the different eye shapes in the game.

So, for this particular example, I wanted to redraw the eyes of the Nene card below. First, we need to determine a few things.

We need to determine where it is she is looking, so we can get a better idea of where her line of sight would be.

We can assume that Nene, in this card, is looking to the left.

After erasing the eyes from the card, I began to decide on where the eggs should be locating, loosely referring to the card when needed.

To determine where I wanted the eyes, I split her face into fourths, sketching the eyes according to these new guidelines.

This is ultimately my rough placement of her eyes. I focused on two things with this sketch; placement and eye shape.

I then refined this basic shape, mapping out the eyelids more, and getting a basic idea of where the eyelashes would go.

I then added in these eyelashes, following the line of her eye to make them look natural.

Then, I refined the bottom of her eye, as well as adding the crease of her eyes.

Then, it was time to sketch out where the pupils would be. Keeping the line of vision in mind, I also loosely placed the area I wanted her irises to be.

Notice here that the pupil sits neatly on the bottom of the eye. This is something that is usually done in the art style to define where the bottom of the eye is.

I then added a clipping layer, going in with a lighter redd-ish brown color and coloring the edges of her eyes with this color. As for her pupil, I colored it with a darker version of her eye color, just to make things look smoother.

Then, I made a layer under my sketch, filling in the pupil with the base color of her eye, which is usually neither the slightest nor darkest shade of the eye.

I then added in the darkest and lightest parts of the eye. The darkest part usually forms a crescent above the iris, while the slightest part of the eye forms a circle near the bottom of the iris, extending down to the bottom of the pupil, while still keeping a circular shape.

Then, I added the most noticeable highlight, which is usually next to the pupils on both eyes. It can be either to the left or right, but because of her line of vision, it would be to the left in this case because of how the light would be hitting her face.

I also added a half circle around her iris, which changes from a more light saturated purple on the light part, to a darker purple on the base color.

I then made a line of white under the half circle by doing repeated strokes in a downward motion to mimic the look of light reflecting on the eye.

Also, using a color close to that purple, on the color wheel (which in this case, was blue), I added highlights to the darkest part of her eye.

After that, I made a layer under this one to do the white of her eye. The top part almost always is shaded by a blue or purple color in most Project SEKAI cards. I used a blue here, seeing as her eyes were purple. The rest was colored in white.

After adjusting the position of the eyes a bit, I added a clipping layer on top of the sketch, coloring the crease of her eyes a pink color to match her skin. I also lightly airbrushed her skin color over the bottom of her eyes to make it appear "softer".

To compare, my eyes are on the left, and the original eyes are on the right.

This tutorial can be applied to eyes of any character of any gender, as long as you know the base shape of their eye!

My next lesson will be on hair, as I myself struggle with it at times. I hope this lesson was able to help you! If it did, please consider reblogging this post so I can reach more people!

If you have a question, shoot me a message through the askbox!

#pjsekai art style tutorial #project sekai art #art study #art tutorial #art lessons #artists on tumblr #pjsekai #pjsk #illustration #kusanagi nene #nene kusanagi #honami mochizuki #saki tenma #proseka art academy

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scottxlogan · 2 months

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Scott Summers Events (bingo) Master List

I recently took part in the @scottsummersevents bingo and have finished my card for the round. Included is my master list of stories that I've written for this bingo as it was a lot of fun! With so many great events happening it's been a great place to be for any and all Scott fans! So be sure to check it out at https://scottsummersevents.tumblr.com/

Thanks to everyone who has supported my fan works and my love of Scott Summers. My submissions are under the cut!

Title: The Getaway Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: O2: Caught in the Rain Pairing: Scott Summers/Tony Stark Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Meet-Cute, Angst and Romance, Drama & Romance, Sexual Content, Vacation, out in the rain, Forbidden Love, Light Angst, Exploration, Minor Jean Grey/Scott Summers Summary: After the rest of the original five on the X-Men team have taken off to find their path in life outside of the school Scott decides it's time to take a journey of his own to Venice where fate puts him in Tony Stark's orbit and sparks fly. What can it mean to the future moving forward for Scott? Word Count: 4721 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51626764 Title: Awake Author: scottxlogan Card #: MRP-001 Square Filled: N1: X Marks the Spot Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: General Audiences Warnings/Tags: Misunderstandings, Movie: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), Canon Divergence - Post-X-Men Days of Future Past (2014), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Romance, Confusion, Fluff Summary: Logan’s awakening in the new world has left him with more questions than answers, but when Charles is unavailable to provide Logan the answers he needs, Logan returns to his room and discovers Scott waiting for him. What Scott has to say opens the door to a new beginning for Logan. Word Count: 1914 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48485293

Title: Tangled Up In You Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: N2: Erotic Dreams Pairing: Scott Summers/Logan Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sexual Content, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Minor Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Praise Kink, Hurt Scott Summers, Scott Summers Needs A Hug, Bisexual Scott Summers, Drowning, 5+1 Things, 5 Times, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), Protective Logan (X-Men), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred Summary: Scott’s erotic dreams lead him on a journey in his own sexual awakening as his hidden feelings for Logan grow each time he dreams of him. Through the joys and the sorrows Scott experiences, he relives the memory of the five times dreaming of Logan changed his world. While Logan finds himself thinking about the dream of Scott that changed his. Word Count: 9375 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48411607

Title of Fill: Inspiration: The Muse (Chapter 2) Author: scottxlogan Card #: NSFW Card #2 Square Filled: Summers Splash Mini-Event Sex Manual (with photos) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48674320/chapters/122960221 Ship/Main Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Explicit Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Light Bondage, Blindfolds, tied-up Scott Summers, Sexual Content, Rope Bondage, Sub Scott Summers, Artist Steve Rogers, Light Dom/sub, Praise Kink, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Secret Crush, Awkward Crush, Art, Gay Bobby Drake, Scott Summers & Bobby Drake friendship, Rimming, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Light Spanking, Sexual exploration, Sex Toys, Self-Discovery Summary: Scott weighs out his options after Steve offers him a thrilling proposal. While Scott considers his decision, Scott finds himself leaning towards a path to self-discovery and sexual explorations only to learn that he doesn’t have a clue where to start. After Scott has an outing with Bobby, Steve decides it’s time to teach Scott a few things about the world of pleasure. Word Count: 16635

Title of Fill: Scott Summers Bingo: September 2023 Round Robin Author: ScottxLogan Card #: SSB-001 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50225860 Square Filled: N5: Blowing Bubbles Ship/Main Pairing: Scott Summers/Logan Rating: Teen Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Pre-Relationship, Friendship, Healing Summary: It’s been a while since Jean’s passing and Scott is struggling with what it means to move forward with life after love. Where will the journey to healing take him? It’s up to you! Have fun being creative with this! Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ScottSummersBingo/works/50225860

Title of Fill: Here For You Author: scottxlogan Card Number: SSB-001 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45829624 Square Filled: N4: Tactile Affection Ship/Main Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: Teen Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Post-X2: X-Men United (2003) Summary: Post X2: Scott sneaks into Logan’s room set on spending the night holding onto the one thing left in his life after Jean’s death. Sensing Scott’s lack of self-care in his grieving Logan looks to taking care of the fallen leader that he’s come to care about very much. Word Count: 3227

Title: The Date Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: I4: Dancing Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Dirty Talking Steve Rogers, Light Angst, Smut, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Skinny Dipping, Secret Relationship, Bottom Scott Summers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Praise Kink Summary: Scott makes a shocking discovery when the big day for Alex and his wedding arrives. Faced with a stressful situation and feeling left out after a wedding disaster, Scott is relieved when Steve finally shows up to lend his boyfriend a hand by giving him the escape he so desperately needs to unwind. Together they find an escape and a little passion before facing reality again. Word Count: 9587 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45885832

Title: Lost in Fantasy Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: Scott Summers Bingo: I1: Satin and Lace Pairing: Steve Rogers/Scott Summers/Tony Stark, Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Shameless Smut, Threesome-M/M/M,Blindfolds,Restraints, Light Bondage, Bottom Scott Summers, Submissive Scott Summers, Praise Kink, Aftercare, Scott Summers-centric, Dirty Talk, past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Summary: Scott Summers has always had a secret fantasy that he wasn’t brave enough to share until his new boyfriend encouraged Scott to be honest with what he wanted. In doing so, Scott’s boyfriend pulls together a sexy night of fun with a guest sure to turn Scott’s world around as the two Avengers are more than ready to show Scott exactly what he needs. Word Count: 7,509 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47122333

Title: Memories and Mistakes Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: G4: Where We Don’t Have to Hide Pairing: Scott Summers/James “Logan” Howlett Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Denial of Feelings, Reunions, Sexual Content, Swearing, Regret, Getting Back Together, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary: After their estrangement Logan realizes the only way to win the war the X-Men are facing is to return to the man he’d vowed to give up years earlier. When Logan breaks Scott out of his prison cell the battle proves to be far more than anticipated as Logan reflects on the love he’d foolishly let slip away in the past. Will he be strong enough to hold onto it this time around or will fate have darker plans for his future with Scott? Word Count: 6281 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46898023

Title of Fill: Winner Takes All Author: ScottxLogan Card Number: SSB-001 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43069260 Square Filled: Scott Summers Bingo: B5: Cuddling/Sex Next to the Fire Rating: Mature Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Flirting, Innuendo, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Fluff, Game Night, Secret Relationship Summary: Scott and Tony’s game night together takes a surprising turn as the two find that winning the game is the last thing on their minds in being this close together. Word Count: 5430

Title of Fill: Rage (Chapter 2) Author: ScottxLogan Card Number: SSB-001 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750128/chapters/108337951 Square Filled: Scott Summers Bingo: Free Square Ship/Main Pairing: Scott Summers/James “Logan” Howlett Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Past Child Abuse, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Sexual Content, Protective Scott Summers, Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Post-X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feelings Realization, mention of Victor Creed, Past Violence, Past Abuse Summary: After sharing a night finding comfort in Logan’s arms, Scott is left feeling unsettled by how easy it was to confide his unsettling truths about his past to Logan. The next morning Scott makes it his new mission to spend as much time as possible avoiding Logan. When they are unexpectedly pushed together again after circumstance leads them to face a mission in protecting a student, they have no choice, but to work together. Along the way they discover the truth about what they mean to one another can no longer be hidden behind the pain of the past. Word Count: 15701

Title of Fill: A Taste of Moonlight Author: ScottxLogan Number: SSB-001 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42706851 Square Filled: B1: Chocolate Syrup Ship/Main Pairing: Scott Summers/James “Logan” Howlett Rating: Mature Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Flirting, Comfort Sex, Ice Cream, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Feelings Realization, Post-X2: X-Men United (2003) Summary: After a staff meeting, an angry outburst between Scott and Logan leads to a surprising proposal where the two decide to do away with their usual routine and give in to temptation. Problem is as much as Logan wants to bed his beautiful team leader, he's discovering that there's something more building beneath the surface that guides Logan to want to comfort and protect the broken man before him. Word Count: 6122

Title: Moment of Truth Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: B2: Running Out of Time Pairing: Scott Summers/Logan Rating: Teen Warnings/Tags: Angst, Post-Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence ,Canon-Typical Violence, Whump, Hurt Scott Summers, Protective Logan (X-Men), Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, End of the World, Blood and Injury, Final Battle, Hurt/Comfort, Swearing Summary: After years of training Scott knows his purpose in facing the end of the world. On the verge of extinction and injured Scott Summers is ready to risk it all to do what he's been trained to do, but when he and Logan find themselves in a dark corner away from the war at hand their feelings for one another resurface and they face an even deeper meaning in each other. Will it be the end of everything for Scott in self-sacrifice or will love bring him back to a new purpose beyond Xavier's dream? Word Count: 5791 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ScottSummersBingo/works/41418771

Title: The Reservation Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: G1: Losing All Inhibitions Pairing: Scott Summers/Logan Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Awkwardness, Sexual Content, Only One Bed, Mutual Pining, First Time Summary: Scott and Logan have been swamped with meetings leaving them both ready to unwind when the day is over, but when they discover that Emma booked them a room with only one bed, will it make things even more awkward or open the door to explorations they weren't brave enough to face on their own without the nudge from their good friend? Word Count: 3009 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ScottSummersBingo/works/41844633

Title: A Happy Ending Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: O5: Marriage Proposal Pairing: Jean Grey & Scott Summers Rating: Gen Warnings/Tags: Break Up, Break Up Talk, Truth Spells, Mutual Break Up, Reference to other relationships, Minor Logan/Scott Summers, Minor Jean Grey/Ororo Munroe, Lovers to Friends, this is not a Scott and Jean romance story, End of Relationship, positive break up Summary: Scott's plans for proposing to Jean the second time around are thwarted by a truth spell that encourages them both to realize what they want out of life with other partners. (A break-up fic, but in a positive fashion) Word Count: 1742 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ScottSummersBingo/works/44755530

Title: Scott Summers Bingo Round Robin: The Cabin Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: G2: Winter Solstice, B3 Scott/Bruce Banner Pairing: Scott Summers/Bruce Banner Rating: Teen and Up Warnings/Tags: Pre-Relationship, Holidays, Cabin Fic, Awkward Flirting, Flirting, Friendship, Unexpected Visitors Summary: Scott Summers decides to spend the holidays alone in an isolated cabin away from the others, but will fate have other plans for him along the way when unexpected arrivals at his rental prove to put a twist on his solo holiday plans. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ScottSummersBingo/works/53185219

Title: The Muse: Chapter 5 Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: G3: "Honey I bought your favorites from the bakery." Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: (look up) Summary: Scott and Steve's quiet morning together is filled with poignant reminders of the past leading up to a heated conversation after an uninvited guest provokes something unexpected in their relationship. Word Count: Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48674320/chapters/135397045

Title: Up In the Air Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: I5: Love Overcoming Insecurity Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Feelings Realization, Developing Relationship, Swearing, Adult Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Inner Dialogue, Angst and Feels, Light Angst, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Conflicted Steve Rogers, Enemies to Lovers Summary: Steve Rogers was a man with a plan determined to win the ridiculous bet he made with Tony Stark a short while earlier, yet deep down he knew he was destined to lose after that night he found trouble outside a New York City nightclub when an old rival became a new lover. Now Steve struggles with his deal with Tony and the evolving relationship that he's fallen into with Scott knowing that to give himself to what it means to commit himself to Scott entirely will require him letting go of protecting his best friend from the hurt he's facing. Caught up in his struggles Steve decides to take a detour to figuring it out with Scott where things take a surprising turn between them. Word Count: 6468 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54102268

Title: Wish Upon a Star Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: O4: Meteor Shower/Shooting Stars Pairing: Scott Summers/Emma Frost Rating: Teen and Up Warnings/Tags: mention of logan – Freeform, Post-Break Up, Mutual Pining, Heavy Angst, post-AvX, self-loathing Scott Summers, Stargazing, Kissing, feelings and angst, Lost Love, Wishes, Past Relationship(s), Denial of Feelings, Love Confessions,Behind the Scenes Summary: Post AvX: Scott finds himself reflecting on all the changes to the world around him after the X-Men fell apart and the world changed. The one constant still in his life is Emma against the odds, whom Scott is still very much in love with, yet finds himself wanting to do what is right by Emma no matter what the cost to his own personal happiness. Beneath a shooting star Emma and Scott find a moment to claim as their own before the world comes crashing down around him and reality shatters the possibility of what if. Word Count: 4217 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54327022

Title: Reckless Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: O1: Bodyguards Pairing: Scott Summers/James Logan Howlett Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Explicit Sexual Content, Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Risk Taking, Jean's been killed before the story begins, Scott has a claw kink, Mission Related, Hotel Sex, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Smut, Mood Board Summary: The job should’ve been easy. Should’ve been a quick way to make a few bucks and stick around in a place long enough to settle down and consider putting down a few roots after a lifetime on the wrong side of the law had Logan rushing away from the past that he’d been destined to escape. For so long Logan had been wishing like hell that he could start anew and break away from the lonely road he’d been on leading him nowhere so when Charles Xavier invites Logan to take on a bodyguard position working to protect Chuck's former star student Scott Summers, Logan thinks it's the opportunity to do just that. Unfortunately for Logan he soon realizes that life is far from slowing down. With Scott mourning the loss of his former love and putting himself in danger's path to take down the ones responsible, it's up to Logan to find a way to keep Scott from self-destructing. But will Logan soon discover that in doing so he's bound to crash and burn along the way once his own attraction to Scott pulls him in a different direction? Word Count: 11742 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55457779

Title: The Shirt Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: B5: Rose (Single Full Bloom)- I still love you Pairing: Scott Summers/James Logan Howlett Rating: Teen Warnings/Tags: Movie: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), Post-Movie: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), Canon Divergence - Post-Movie: X-Men Days of Future Past (2014), Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Chicken Soup, Romance, Second Chances, Light Angst, Swearing Summary: In the original timeline Logan clings to a reminder of Scott knowing how much he lost in holding on to a memory. In the future Logan questions if there's a possibility for a happily ever after now that Scott has returned to his life. Word Count: 1524 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55964443

Title: Artistic Endeavors Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: pride month mood board, Body Paint, Mood Board, Sexual Themes, Double Drabble, Ficlet Summary: Scott’s never been good at vocalizing his feelings, but Steve’s been working to bring the stoic leader of the X-Men team out of his shell. When Steve’s artistic inspiration takes them in a new direction inspired by Scott’s newfound courage to explore the sexier aspects of their relationship, a naughty invitation to a body painting adventure leads to passion and temptation in ways that opens Scott’s eyes to a new meaning of true pleasure. Steve’s artistic side fuels Scott’s fire and inspires an erotic art session sure to stay etched in Scott’s mind forever after his boyfriend’s ravenous sexual appetite leads them both to a place where anything and everything goes in the name of desire. Word Count: Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56759260

Title: Last Night in the City Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: O3: Image "Scott" naked on the rooftop Pairings: Logan/Scott/Bucky/Steve, Scott/Logan, Scott/Bucky, Scott/Steve, Logan/Steve, Logan/Bucky, Bucky/Steve Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Foursome - M/M/M/M, Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, past Jean Grey/Logan/Scott Summers, Scott Summers-centric, Scott Summers Deserves Happiness, Sexual Content, Implied Rough Sex, Getting Together, Propositions, Team Bonding, Collars, Blindfolds, mention of Emma Frost/Tony Stark,Polyamory Summary: Scott Summers prepares to shut his old life behind him after the end of Krakoa by spending one last night in New York City, but finds that things don't exactly to plan after a wild night with Logan, Bucky and Steve prove to work towards skewing Scott in a new direction away from the mission he's set on taking Word Count: 8865 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57210919

Title: Between the Raindrops Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: I2: Fever/Delerium-Being nursed back to health Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: Teen and Up Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence - Post-Movie: X-Men Days of Future Past (2014), Sexual Tension, Flirting, Hurt Scott Summers, Protective Logan (X-Men), Logan's adjusting to the new world, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Post-Movie: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), Movie: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) Summary: Logan's less than thrilled that Hank has requested that Logan be the one in charge of keeping an injured Scott from trying to sneak out of recovery and back into the swing of things with the team. Knowing that Scott is always an impossible patient in this new world as well as he was in the last, Logan is reluctant to take the assignment, but left without a choice, Logan finds himself getting closer to the man who has never left his heart no matter what world he's been living in. Word Count: 4789 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57261679

Title: Better Together (Chapter 13) Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: Scott Summers Events: Pride Month Prompts: Love Confession Pairing: Scott Summers/Tony Stark Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Romance, Drama & Romance, Angst and Feels, Swearing, Sexting, Flirting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, divorced Scott, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, this is not a positive Jean Grey story, pre-warned Scott and Jean were not happily divorced, Anti-Mutant Sentiments (Marvel), Blood and Gore, Mild Gore, anti-mutant, Explosions, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Making Out, Whump, Sexual Content, Age Difference Summary: Scott's nerves start to get the best of him as he anticipates a romantic date night with Tony. Filled with concerns about his past and where he is now in the aftermath of tragedy, Scott begins to question his chances for happiness in his future. Emma tries to offer Scott advice before Scott learns just what surprises Tony has in store for their romantic night together. Word Count: 9299 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31205660/chapters/145793638

Title: Breaking Free Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: Summers Splash NSFW Card #3 Fantasies Pairing: Scott/Male Avenger Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Digital Art, Fic and Art, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Scott Summers Deserves Happiness, Bottom Scott Summers, Hook-Up, NSFW Art Summary: Scott Summers has waited a long time to truly give in to what he wants, but now as he makes his way to the Avenger's tower he's decided there's nothing holding him back from taking it. Word Count: 1552 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57390283

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