#as always this is just my opinion but i do feel strongly about it

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Real quick PSA for the followers, just to make sure my positions are clear on some issues and to make sure I am not causing any unintentional harm (that devolved into a minor hiatus):

-If I'm intending to talk about something specific, I'll mention it, I promise.

-I do be forgetting that you all recognize me on both my A03 and my tumblr. It is surprising to me every time. I tend to be vERY flippant on here, especially in my tags. I think we have reached a point where I should be more careful lol. I am not used to having an actual effect, so if I have an effect you don't appreciate, or I say something hurtful, please please bring it up to me! Dms, anon, replies; idc, I'm always down for a conversation.

-I am not in the business of apologies I do not mean, and I certainly do not back down from my opinions, I think that's been fairly clear. So, if I apologize it's because I mean it, and that won't change.

-I make a lot of posts that are critical of fandom culture in a lot of different fandoms, and culture around specific characters as well. I want it to be very clear that unless I am directly interacting with another user, then the criticism should never surround anyone specific. I never want to direct hate ever, unless I'm tagging.

-If there are questions about the appropriateness of my headcanon posts in response to asks, that can be changed. I would really hate to be making my very small community uncomfortable. I had thought I was fairly clear on the blogs boundaries and what I think is appropriate, but perhaps I haven't been careful enough. Please feel free to address issues with me, or to block me. That is always an option of course.

Uh, that being said, I might take a couple days. I have used this blog for fun and friends since 2015, it's not my first time fucking up nor will it be the last. But, it's upsetting to me that my blog might be harmful to some (who I hadn't intended it to be harmful to, it's always been an active warzone for irredeemable character excusers lol, since 2015). The queue will go on as usual but no new posts for a bit while I figure out if things need to change. I'll respond to DMs tho, probably, bc I'm obsessed with my mutuals.

[swallows-are-for-hope]

.

[brailsthesmolgurl]

“I feel like I am getting fatter.”

My dear readers, I had decided to include prompts in my works as I thought this might cater to the readers of mine who prefers a shorter read. All of my prompts are my ideas (feel free to drop me any if you do have any in mind) and they will be based on my opinion of the boys :> I apologise if my writing may be offensive to some people but this is my take hence it would be nice if you could be more open-minded :,)

P.S: This fictional write is not meant to be a skinny-shaming/fat-shaming piece because I strongly believe no matter what size you are, you deserve to be loved by all! Personality triumphs over looks afterall!

Preview: An insight into what the boys think when you tell them that you feel like you’re getting plumper.

RAFAYEL

He just stares at you wildly; eyes widened, eyebrows raised to form arches, jaw opened slightly in a state of disbelief at what he had just heard coming out of your mouth. “How could you say such things to yourself?” He palmed his own face, shaking his head in suit. “You coming up to me and putting yourself down just because you think you’re chubby is ridiculous.” When he noticed that you did not say anything to rebut him, he walked closer to you, tilting your chin upwards so you may gaze into his orbs of nebulas. “You are not chubby in my eyes my love.”

“But, I just don’t like the way I look in the mirror Rafayel…” Your confidence had always been in a dip when it comes to your own body image. It especially affected you when recently, news regarding your relationship had taken a turn for criticism towards your body. You wanted to look compatible to your lover and you figured the best you could match him is if you own the body and curves of a runway model. “And, maybe, I just thought I might look better beside you if I am well…skinnier maybe?”

The man erupted a laughter, a genuine laughter of amusement when you told him that last bit of your concern. Rafayel is never the type to prey on one’s insecurity but when your determination to lose weight is based off of on pleasing his fans, he could not care less. “No my love, you do not have to lose weight just because some simpleton made some comments about your body. Come, let’s have a seat okay?” He tugged onto your wrist gently and then sat the both of you down onto the plush sofa of his. Plopping his head against the headrest, he turned his face to look at you. “Do you know back in the days, artists from ancient times prefer drawing women of flesh rather than bones?”

Seeing you hesitated to answer him, he continued on. “That is because bones equal to famine, flesh equals to well-fed my love. It is a sign of royalty. And you, I see nothing but a woman of royalty even if you do not see it yourself. The world nowadays are falling back on appreciating women with healthy bodies and I will always be here to assure you that in my eyes, you are not chubby. As you are to me, a sign of royalty which dates back to the ancient times and even till this day and age.”

Rafayel has always have a way with his words. That is the reason why you fell for him. At first, you may think satire is a part of his image, but eventually, you realised that this man spits euphemisms, and that his mockery never falls short of facts. He is very knowledgeable of the world and the way things work. “But if you still do want to lose weight, I shall do it with you as much as I hate working out. But no harm in keeping my princess fit as a fiddle if she wishes for me to join.” He blushes, eyes glanced away from yours for a moment when his mind flashed an image of you being all hot and bothered after a workout session.

“Thank you for saying that Rafayel. It really helps in calming down my nerves.” You smiled back at him, leaning your head against his shoulders and he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head.

“By the way, just so you know, I prefer drawing you in this ‘chubby’ state—as you would call it—because I think the curves of your body catches the sunlight beams very well and it makes you look ethereal.” Rafayel grins cheekily, fingers trailed against your jawline gently as he studied your features and allowing his imagination to run wild, already planning on his next piece of artwork featuring you, his one and only muse. This time, he shall also make it his statement piece to the haters that his love for you shall not run amok and perhaps, suggest a change in the world’s definition of beauty with his artwork.

XAVIER

“So, did anyone suggested that to you?” Xavier looked up from his plate, swallowing the piece of meat after he had finished asking his question. He had noticed recently when the both of you were on dates, you had been avoiding snacks and junk foods that you would never have resist before and that was when he decided to butt in to ask if you were on a diet and when you admitted it, the conversation was led up to this point. “Or, was it in your own head?”

“I realised it when we were doing the fitness assessment before the hunter’s task that day.” You explained, the fork pushing the pea on your plate, watching it rolled around in circles. During the assessment, everyone is required to get on the scale for a routine check and update for one’s personal records file. You remembered your confidence had started to plummet bit by bit when you noticed all the female hunters are averagely weighed below normal BMI weight.

Although no one was laughing at you as the scale announced your weight but you could almost taste the hint of embarrassment at the back of your throat as you stared at the numbers shown on the scale. You figured, a good hunter should not be overweight right? Or else how does one, being overweight, excel in physical tasks? Hence, you had decided to be harsh on yourself to lose weight for the sake of excelling in physical tasks and to fit in amongst your peers. “I am one of the few ones that probably exceeded the normal weight requirement for a hunter.”

“But you are still one of the best hunters among our division right?” Xavier was quick to catch up on one of your worries for being too overweight to complete physical tasks. “You should not worry much about your weight if you are actually pulling the weight of being a good hunter. Pun intended.” His pun made you pressed your lips tightly to form a thin line. It was funny but it was said at the wrong time.

“Then do you think I am chubby?” You raised an eyebrow and the blond man in front of you let go of his piece of meat and you watch the slice of meat slipped right into the bowl of spicy soup. This conversation is getting serious now if he is willing to overcook that piece of meat just to engage in this conversation.

“I never thought you were chubby. Other girls are just too skinny to my liking.” He placed his chopsticks aside and stared right at your face, cerulean orbs burning with underlying annoyance because of what you had said about yourself. “And I don’t think your weight affects your hunter skills as they are both separate entities by itself.” Humming to himself, his hand rubbed the base of his chin as he thought of what else to say to boost your confidence. “Speaking of which, skinnier girls do tend to end up meeting their demise faster than girls like your size.”

“What do you mean by that?” You watched as the man picks up the chopsticks and starts digging around the soup base for his missing piece of meat that is probably overcooked to his taste.

He shrugged casually. “They just look all the more fragile to me. Most of the ones that got admitted to the hospitals are the skinny ones that tends to get more broken bones and bruises even from fighting the easiest category of wanderers.” He shoved the meat into his mouth almost animation-like and started chewing. His face flashed a hint of disgust as he struggled to swallow the piece of meat down his throat. “My point is, as long as you are healthy and not easily bruised, nobody is going to care about your weight. But if they ever do, I know you can easily prove them wrong.”

Xavier is more of a motivational speaker type of boyfriend. Not because he does not want to comfort you, but he would much rather remind you of the strengths you already have and that you should not get easily discouraged by such a minute issue. Not to mention, although adorning the face of an angel, this boy here does make some pretty sarcastic remarks here and there. “Here, have some more meat, it might help you to lose weight. But it would also help you to gain more muscle which would be more helpful during combat rather than being a bag of bones.”

ZAYNE

“Just because you are sat down and you realised that you had ‘flaps’ does not make you fat y/n.” Zayne laid the tray beside you, taking a seat next to you in the hospital’s cafeteria. After the routine check-up with Zayne, it usually wraps up with you stepping onto the scale and the numbers on the scale are not showing your average weight anymore. Thus, your frown pointed towards the scale gave Zayne just enough of a hint for him to catch up on what was churning in your head. “Y/n?”

“I’m sorry, it just never came to my mind that I had gotten heavier since my last checkups.” You gnawed onto your bottom lip, fingers prancing along the material of your pants. “It does not help either when my colleagues said that I had gotten a bit bloated lately.” Sighing, you hid your face in your palms. “Not to mention, my boyfriend is a doctor, what an irony for you to date someone who isn’t physically healthy right?”

Zayne placed a box of milk in front of you, the one that you would always go for whenever you stop by his workplace. “Y/n, statistically speaking, your weight data is not considered overweight. Nor would it compromise your health in any manner. If it helps, you do not look fat to me.” The doctor glanced over to you, watching you as you only started reading the labels across the box milk instead of ripping it open to drink it like a maniac you always tend to be. “Are you planning to lose weight then?”

“I guess I am planning to. For the sake of my own health and the image of our relationship.” Zayne frowned slightly at your response but of course, being the husband material he is, he would do anything to make you healthy. Even if that means he does not necessarily agree with your standpoint.

“Wanting to be healthy would be a good start, but losing weight for the sake of our relationship’s image is not a good idea. I am glad to have someone healthy by my side.” His voice was comforting, his tone soothing to your ears. “I have another surgery scheduled in 20 minutes so I have to go now, but do not attempt to lose weight without me being around you. Do you think you can at least do me that favour?” He pushed his chair back and stood up, a hand placed on the top of your head in the form of a head pat. “I do not wish to see you jeopardising your own mental health over your weight.”

The doctor leaned down to kiss your forehead before he took the milk and placed it within your palms. His lips turned upwards into a gentle smile. “I will see you after work later.” And he went off, blending into the crowds in the crowded hallways. But it did not took long before your phone rang, and you received a call from a random number.

“Hi is this Miss y/n?” The feminine voice spoke on the other end. You agreed and introduced yourself, asking her what was the purpose of the call. “Dr.Zayne had asked me to set up an appointment with you for 3pm later so that we can go through your nutritional plan later. He told me that you wanted to lose weight don’t you?” You were nearly speechless when she said that. No wonder Zayne rushed off all of a sudden. He did not have a surgery scheduled, he only wanted to make an appointment with an in-house nutritionist to help you in losing weight. Afterall, he is not against the idea of you losing weight but he would much rather you do it in a healthy manner.

Your heart felt fuzzy when you are constantly reminded of the way Zayne would always takes care of you, even if he does not particularly look like he cares. “Yeah, that’s me. May I know what did Dr.Zayne said to you?”

“Not much, he only told me that his spouse is unhappy with her healthy body and that she would like to achieve a slimmer figure…” The girl’s voice trailed off a little, seemingly a little hesitant. “But he also told me to set up a 7 day workout plan for you so that you may get too tired of losing weight and you might just give up on it halfway.” OOF. Guess Zayne is totally fine with the way you look.

[tossawary]

A quote and thoughts regarding Shen Yuan's opinions on Liu Mingyan and the "sexiness" of the Liu Mingyan versus Sha Hualing setup. He knows what he should be feeling in this situation as a "normal straight guy", but I don't think he's actually feeling it.

"Shen Qingqiu was very fond of this female lead, and it wasn't only because Liu Mingya's beauty points were the highest. It was also because she had great poise. She always understood the big picture and grasped the general situation, and her conduct was fair and honest. Even in Luo Binghe's gigantic harem, a wife with both intelligence and moral character was rare.

There was one more appeal factor. Liu Mingyan was the only female character for whom Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write detailed sex scenes. Many readers had been highly dissatisfied with this arrangement, to the point that they spammed the comments with their ranting, but this had given Liu Mingyan something no other female lead had: an image as clear as ice and pure as jade!

Can't be helped, the unobtainable ones are always the best.

[Sweatdropping shrug kaomoji that I can't type out.]

This was what made the second match worth watching. An evil demoness naturally demanded a righteous saintess as a rival. Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vie with each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next - that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism. He could drunk off the wild, untamed charm of the wicked seductress, and at the same time his heart would ache for the austere taste of the pure saintess who kept pulling him closer only to push him away!

One had to admit, "Great Master" Airplane was genuinely good at nailing what people found satisfying. Shen Qingqiu couldn't help giving Luo Binghe another glance.

Luo Binghe found it very hard to not care about that gaze. Why exactly did Shen Qingqiu keep looking at him? Was it possible that Shizun... really had an interest in him?"

Volume 1, Chapter 2, pages 111-112.

I'm not sure where to start with this! It's a lot! I'll just work backwards: it is very funny to have Shen Qingqiu repeatedly looking towards Luo Binghe, trying to see Binghe's reactions to Sha Hualing and Liu Mingyan, and Binghe's just like, "Shizun is looking at me???" I think "interest" in this case just means interest in Binghe as a disciple with potential, rather than anything else. Binghe is not paying any real attention to Sha Hualing or Liu Mingyan's attractiveness.

Oh! A rare compliment towards "Great Master" Airplane! Shen Yuan, don't strain those rarely used muscles!

I do find it amusing that Shen Yuan refers to Liu Mingyan as "moral" and "righteous" and "pure" here. The vibe I got with Liu Mingyan is that she sided with Luo Binghe to take down her brother's murderer, which I would agree is righteous and abides by a set of morals. But the first few pages of SVSSS inform us that PIDW Luo Binghe viciously destroyed the great cultivation sects, which means that PIDW wife Liu Mingyan either helped or stepped aside when a whole bunch of murder happened.

And the "my favorite wife is the one with no (or limited) sex scenes" is a classic Shen Yuan moment and one of the reasons he reads as being strongly on the asexuality spectrum to me. The way that he talks about heterosexual "male" desire gives me the same vibe. Like he's separated from it. Like he knows this is what he's "supposed" to feel and he just... doesn't... and it's possibly hard for him to recognize what sexual desire feels like (as opposed to, say, general sexual arousal that doesn't necessarily have a target) if he's never actually experienced it himself. He knows what he should be feeling if he was the "every man" reader of PIDW.

Even when he talks about Sha Hualing and Liu Mingyan's appeal, he says "wild, untamed charm" and "pulling him closer only to push him away" as the key components of the fantasy. Like, "being flirted with" and "being fought over and fought for" and "appreciating a distant beauty" are more important than "having sex". "The most appealing thing about Liu Mingyan is that she wouldn't actually go through with trying to have sex with me," says Shen Yuan.

He's like, "Oh, I can recognize that Liu Mingyan and Sha Hualing are physically attractive, that probably means I'm an Ordinary Straight Man." Even though the way that he talked about Liu Qingge's looks in the Ling Xi Caves was... not very heterosexual... and here, he mostly seems excited just to see one of his favorite characters.

Admittedly, Sha Hualing appears 15-16 here and I think Liu Mingyan is around the same age (she doesn't have her spiritual sword yet), so Shen Yuan is probably also not attracted to them just because they're teenagers. (I do not interpret him as sexually or romantically interested in Binghe at all at this point in time.) I headcanon Shen Yuan being 20-ish at this point in time, so he's probably not that much older than SHL or LMY, but they're probably around his younger sister's age (Shen Yuan's younger sister was old enough to be reading non-con, gay, BDSM erotica.) Sha Hualing shows up half-naked and Shen Yuan is just like, "Where are your shoes? Did you walk here like this? Wasn't that painful?"

In my opinion, Shen Yuan seems a little... relieved... to think that no one could be sexually or romantically interested in the scum villain. He does lament that it's hard to get a girlfriend like this, sure. He does think that he's going to die and that he'd eventually lose any woman to Binghe, so there's no point in trying. But he really, really does not try. "Oh, I can't pursue anyone because they'd never be interested in me! How frustrating! ...Anyway! Moving on to enjoy the many other little pleasures of life! Like food and monsters!" I think the closest he comes to flirting with anyone is when speaking to Liu Qingge in the Ling Xi Caves, while Liu Qingge is coughing up blood, and that did not seem intentional.

I think if he had transmigrated into any other character, who wasn't an "unappealing" villain, Shen Yuan still wouldn't pursue women. I think he'd be like, "Well, I want a beautiful woman, because I have standards! But all beautiful women belong to the protagonist, and no one is better than Binghe, there's no way I'd win that competition, so there's no point in trying!" At which point, it's just like, "Shen Yuan, anyone becomes beautiful when you love or like them; I don't think you actually want to fuck women."

I think if Shen Yuan had transmigrated in as Luo Binghe, he still wouldn't try to pursue women. He'd be like, "I'm just raising my standards for the harem! Some of those wives were not very intelligent or in possession of good moral character! Nearly three-digits is disrespectful to the better wives! I'm only interested in especially beautiful and skilled women, like Liu Mingyan, who's perfect! (And also won't try to have sex with me.)"

Like, I am not against a bisexual Shen Yuan. I am willing to be persuaded to go along with many different interpretations! But he does read to me generally as a gay asexual / demisexual who hasn't yet realized that a desire to be fawned over and an ability to recognize beauty is not necessarily the same thing as sexual attraction. (I do think he is attracted to Binghe after Binghe gets back from the Endless Abyss, but his feelings there are tied up in his very real, reasonable fear of murder and mutilation.)

[neptunes-sol-angel]

BOO! 👻🎃🕸 How are you scaring people with their shadows? Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most then scroll down for the corresponding message(s). Happy Halloween my Sol-cherubs!!

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Pile One

"SHE AIN'T NO DIVAAA!"

You trigger others in a way that threatens their confidence and provoke them into a cycle of evaluating their self worth and identity after an ego death that's probably been long overdue. Some people in this group may hinder themselves back from speaking to people about anything in general, like expressing your opinion on something, talking about yourself, joining in a conversation so that you can be outgoing and network with others because you could feel like developing normal interactions with others is difficult for you. You could feel that people may find what you have to say as meaningless, they could even talk over you, or maybe you fear that people will hate you for what you say. You could also find yourself in too many situations where people are dedicated to misunderstanding you by twisting what you say or snubbing you. But despite their reactions, people strongly value what you say, and are often changed personally by even just a few words that you mention and could still think about what you've said years later whether it's from a normal conversation or an argument. I feel called to mention to this group that you shouldn't restrain yourself by muting your verbal expression in order to please others, because I'm getting that even though you aren't aware that there are people who want to listen and do listen to what you have to say and will like and respect you for who you are, you understand the weight of your words and the repercussions you face when you defend yourself and but there are times you don't in order to keep the peace. You must understand that peace is simply an illusion when you keep putting your feelings and wellbeing aside to keep people that are not even for you in your life. Tip toeing around others is not what's going to keep you safe—you gotta step on some toes to free yourself. This group has to learn both when it isn't your fault for when you trigger someone and when it is. Because I'm getting that another part of this group is more so in the darker aspect of this trait, you don't hold your tongue for anyone and when someone goes low, you go to straight to the pits of hell. You're fully aware of how you know just the right words to break someone and to intentionally offend them. Your brutal honesty isn't needed all of the time and sometimes you're not being blunt, you're just being an asshole. Reserve your poison for the people that deserve it, but it will benefit you to learn that the same way the magnitude of your words can be poison to others it also be venom used to help others heal. I know it may feel like that someone's always trying it with you but you gotta calm down and start seeing the good in humanity, because not everyone is a piece of filth that you need to sweep. The shadow work that you make other people do eventually creates a balance that keeps their egos in check and where their humility is holding them back.

Pile Two

What's chilling about you is how elusive you are. This can mean a variety of things, but one of the scenarios that I'm getting is that this pile could be adamant when it comes to holding grudges. People hate that you don't forgive them because it gives them a reality check with how entitled they feel to treat others and how they expect them to react about it afterwards. You seem to unfortunately attract a lot of people that don't take any accountability. They show up as either someone who feels like they have the right to mistreat others and have control over how their victims feel or perceive the situation or people who have lived their entire lives as victims but are in disbelief when they are in situations where they have made someone else a victim so they manipulate the situation to confirm their bias and lack of self awareness. These people are possessive over outcomes and how they want to be seen. You are very much capable of forgiving others, but you are strong with your boundaries to the point where you don't make yourself accessible anymore to the people have hurt you and this confuses them. They're used to thinking that words have more meaning than their actions or that forgiveness is something that's automatically given when asked for it, but you show them that's not exactly how it works. This makes them have to unpack guilt that they will deal with for a very long time or your absence reminds them of how powerless that they feel. Both are situations that are hard to sit with alone so these people may tend to latch on others and surround themselves with company. The shadow work that you make others do is to reflect on situations where they are habitually self-undoing.

Pile Three

What makes other people shook about you, is how unmoved you are but how you always seem to ironically move others. You could have this radical intelligence and self sufficiency where you don't care who's on your level or not. You could be isolated by others a lot, and on the outside it could look like you're out of touch with humanity, but no, you're actually way ahead of your time, they just need to catch up. The same things that people have tried to shun you for, end up becoming trends in the future. You guys are very secure with yourself and it intimidates others, but you've grown or will grow to not let that effect you anymore. I see that your purpose involves leading others. You guys could be coaches to help people break habits that maladaptively stagnate their lives, you keep yourself strong, in order to pass this on to others who finally decide that they to help themselves. Your insight isn't going to be accepted by the majority because those people are still stuck on outward appearances or are complacent with their own delusions, and it's not your responsibility to help everyone, but you're good at what you do and you have the potential to save a lot of lives with the changes that you help other people make within themselves. It doesn't even have to solely be changes either, you could motivate others to recognize what they already have within themselves too and that's so empowering. If you guys are tarot readers that are feeling down about the messages that you're trying to bring to people, I'm getting that you guys need to keep going, what you're doing is meaningful even if you can't physically see it, you awaken others deeply to things that they may not be ready to publicly share with others so give it time and remember your mission. You aren't here to entertain any thoughts of staying the same, you are here to promote growth. Don't downplay your gifts, you know what you know.

[starlostseungmin]

stray kids ─── as one direction songs.

✰ pairing : non-idol!skz x afab!reader

✰ genre : fluff, angst, maybe suggestive?

✰ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and drugs, kissing, mentions of food and profanity. lmk if i missed smth.

✰ notes : uhm i really don't know what i wrote. this has been sitting on my drafts since november and thank god anon reminded me about it (i actually went on hiatus after minho's birthday last year so yeah) the songs i associated with skz members are just strongly my opinion mehehe i hope you guys like it, idk if you agree with me in regards with the songs but DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33

✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly

masterlist | taglist.

chan ─── perfect

honorable mention: little things

you already know how fucked up your life is but ever since he came, those days became different. it is always the small gestures that one fails to notice in the blink of an eye. you are just going to be surprised by the time it is done or how you managed to get out of a small inconvenience. he loves you so much that he would put you first before anything else. 

chan is different from everyone else. maybe because he is labeled to be kind and so above average of doing the bare minimum which people seek from their partners. he’s perfect but he doesn’t think of it the same way. 

you tried to convince him a hundred times but all you got in response is him being a blushing mess and his giggle that makes your heart warm every time you hear it. a smile would tug on your lips that would make him stare at you, he’d bounce back on the things you said to him and you think about what did you do in your past life to deserve someone as perfect as him. 

“baby, you’re perfect,” you said for the nth time, “no, i’m not, but i’m perfect for you,” he winked. “that was smooth, chan,”

lee know ─── night changes

he might be the type to not show his feelings immediately but he’s the one who subtly shows them. it started slowly, he reassured you that everything would fall into place once you both could figure out what was going on with this relationship. 

but as long as you’re together, the love you and him shared will never change. although the process of this love story has made things go in different directions, the thought of having to stick together is essential. 

your parents didn’t like him at first, they had someone in mind and that wasn’t him and yet, you didn’t care even if your first date was a disaster and the next one after that, but that didn’t stop you. it took a while for your parents to finally accept him after tons of convincing them that he’s a great guy, but it succeeded later on. 

you had a place on your own and welcomed his cats to live with you when some of them were wild, that’s what you think. minho was a mess when you met him, but thanks to you, it’s not that bad anymore. 

changbin ─── temporary fix

honorable mention: i want to write you a song

changbin is the type to offer himself as someone you can lean on but it’s not always because of this friendship you have, but as a lover who wanted to make you feel better and forget about shit. 

temporary fix is not always meant to be a cover-up of something you’d open up again to allow another train of bullshits in your life. it felt like he was being sent from the heavens to look out for you, an angel whose sole mission is to make you happy, the same feeling like something that keeps you high. 

there’s this thing on changbin’s vibe that you don’t want to share with anybody else and he makes you feel things when you’re with him. even though this relationship sounds like a fling and a guy who sneaks into your dorm late at night to make out with you, well, it used to be. but you know changbin is so much more than that after a while. 

the phrase, “you can call me when you need me, you know?” whenever he sleeps with you is now in the trashbin the moment you settle to be someone to each other.

hyunjin ─── last first kiss 

remember the time when he said that he chose to be the last love instead of the first? exactly. being the last person to love is basically spending the rest of your life with him, even if he’s not your first kiss, not your first love, not your first in everything, it’s fine as long as he’ll be the one you’ll remember as your eternal love. 

hyunjin being fitted into this song is like a message that he wanted to convey to his love, a sentiment that would indicate how much he’d spend time and effort to stay by your side until the end of time. indeed, a hopeless romantic man he is. 

last first kiss is the very first song that reminds you of him, it is part of those memories you made with him. it was that time when he decided to take this relationship to the next level, yes, he did mention that he wanted to be your last, and by what he meant, an everlasting love. 

“let me be your last,” and when you heard him say that, you knew he was the man who fits perfectly into your broken puzzle that would mend the wound forever.

han ─── rock me

honorable mention: midnight memories

rock me suits him as well as midnight memories. but midnight memories have their effects on han, giving him the vibes of being a musician specializing in the rock genre. and as someone who loves to listen to almost every genre in the world, you fell in love with him after watching him busking by the streets. 

you were amazed by how talented he is. his fingers strummed that guitar well, and his voice? like an angel. one could say that he is a free-spirited human being who does whatever he wants and writes songs about some things that piqued his interest. 

then there’s you, a broken melody who longed for him to come back, the same goes for him who let you go. both of you thought that you were too young to be in love and jisung was better off alone but his songs were dedicated to your break up. you rocked his world when you came and left broken notes when it ended.

but he always believed that what you had back then, was real and that you’d always remember the love you had. 

felix ─── why don’t we go there 

honorable mention: kiss you

felix is someone who gets hyped easily whenever you’re with him. his bright smile, his funny reactions, and the unidentified sounds that came out of his mouth made him a fun guy to be with. it started with a fling that turned out to be something you didn’t want to rush but it is slowly beginning to have a label. 

having a relationship with him offered different dynamics. it is the way he grabs your hand when you both start to get caught by the waves crashing by the shore or how he felt when you kissed him for the first time. he is someone who can get dragged with you to whatever your plan is, a great ball of sunshine to your rainy days, someone that you don’t want to be the one that got away. 

he does think the same, especially the fact that he treasures you so much and it became an opportunity to love you more when you spend that one night together somewhere, alone. it was an invitation actually and it made you realize a lot of things. 

it is the way he looked at those stars with those dazzling eyes of his. the constellation plastered on his cheeks glowed along with them, it is what they call freckles, you love them as much as how felix felt for you. having him as a getaway made you don’t want to come back, ever again.

seungmin ─── no control

night changes was the first choice but then no control became the one for him, no control, because he is, a menace. he believed that being in love was something that gullible people would do and get hurt, maybe a few of them proved it to be valid and worth it, yet he isn’t convinced because it is just a waste of time. 

and yet, you came out of nowhere. it is the way he looks at you with those dazzling puppy eyes, the way he obeys the things you wanted him to do, and it gets worse when you share intimate affections. from a gentle puppy to a wild wolf. there’s something about you that drives him crazy every time. 

nothing matters to him when you’re around and he never felt this way before. he’d kiss you out of nowhere when you reached home with your back against the wall as your hands played with his hair. he gets weak and powerless, but gets hyped and rough which you get caught off guard every time. 

and he is very loyal, he always makes sure that no other will ever meet his interest. you don’t want to share, anyway and you got him down bad.

jeongin ─── summer love

honorable mention: fool's gold.

loving jeongin is like a breath of fresh air, the freedom that he finally held in his hands, and the time he can make up for himself to be with you. it was a reckless summer that you spent in your grandma’s place, away from the bustling city and this boy showed up on your doorsteps. 

it didn’t take a while that you immediately had this puppy love type of interest in each other. you started sneaking out in the middle of the night when your grandma was in her deep sleep, swimming together by the river across the small town on a random afternoon, sharing a kiss under an oak tree that tasted like your grandma’s apple pie, it was great. you didn’t want it to end. 

and just like any other summer, it did. you didn’t know if you would still have this continuous conversation when the school year starts since jeongin is miles away from where you live. 

you saw him sitting on one of those branches of the oak tree where you kissed for the first time, and there you promised not to lose each other even if the summer ended. you couldn’t believe that what you did for less than two months was this serious. it was hard to say goodbye, yet you hoped nothing would change after the last summer’s sunset.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[kikiyoomis]

kiyoomi with the anniversary trope "one year is too short, lets make it forever"

a lot of people told sakusa that the honeymoon phase of his relationship will last a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months at the very most. they weren't saying this out of malice, more so out of concern for him seeing as this was his first ever relationship and nobody in his life, himself included, knew how things would go.

but what everyone was certain of was that sakusa wasn't going to half ass it. he was going to make sure you knew and felt that he loved you every single day. setting himself reminders to make certain habits routine, picking you up from work whenever he's available, making you a balanced lunch full of your favourite foods... sakusa wants to do everything he can to make sure that this relationship continues strongly.

and while he was unsure if he was going to be able to keep up with all of these new routines on top of his already packed schedule, sakusa knew he needed to at least try.

but one year into his relationship with you, he never felt this "honeymoon" phase leaving. in fact, every single day since a year ago, he felt his love for you explode. every thing he does for you is completely out of love and he wanted to do it.

"you know, i used to think that one year anniversaries was a huge milestone that needed to be celebrated lavishly and formally but i really enjoy this," you say, cuddling closer to sakusa on his couch with a cheesy romcom playing.

"i'm glad you like this. i'm sorry i couldn't do anything bigger for you," sakusa replies, combing his fingers through your hair. his touch has always a source of comfort for you, so you lean into his touch.

if there was something he didn't enjoy about his profession as a volleyball athlete was that he couldn't enjoy dates with you without a care in mind out in public. he knew the weight of the pressure random people's opinion have en masse and how they can really affect people. he has seen even athletes crumble under their scrutiny for whatever miniscule reason the public believes in.

this has never been too much of an issue for sakusa, who has never been that affected about what other people had to say about him or even if it did, he has the means to retort back.

but he never wanted you to be hurt by them. unless you were one hundred percent sure that you could handle it no matter what, sakusa had to keep your relationship with him secret from the public and thankfully just private with close friends and family.

"hey babe," sakusa says. you peer over at him, and for a moment he swears his heart skips a beat. every day since he started dating you, not for a moment did he not feel as if his crush on you has dissipated. in fact, knowing that you loved him back has his heart sprinting a marathon.

"hypothetically... what would you think about getting married one day?" this thought comes out impulsively and almost immediately he wants to retract it. hell he doesn't even know if he wants to be married one day!

"if it's with you, i would love for us to get married!" you smile brightly. and just like that every worry, every uncertainty had vanished from his mind. without a moment wasted, he kisses you. it was heated, passionate and it was addictive.

"did you like my answer that much?" you giggle, out of breath. sakusa pulls you into an embrace.

"i want to be with you forever. i want to be able to show everyone that you're mine. if anything, my love for you has grown so much over a year that i can't imagine living my life without you. however expensive the ring, i will buy it for you. wherever you want the wedding to be, i will make sure we have it there. if it's for you, i will do anything."

"was one year too short for us to be together? you want us to get married so that we're together forever?" you giggle, amused by his line of thinking. but sakusa, being the man that he is, was completely serious.

"yes, one year isn't enough. i want to wake up every morning and see your beautiful face, i want to go home and know that i get to sleep next to you that night. you've turned my world upside down y/n, i love you so much i can't describe it"

[dyns33]

Feeling rainy

Another Dream x female reader 

      “Honey, you look cloudy today. No, rainy."

     "I confirm, he is very rainy at the moment."

     "Matthew. Leave us."

     "Right away, boss. But I'm sick of being wet all the time when I fly in the Dreaming, thank you very much."

It had taken a little time, but during their relationship, Y/N had acquired several certainties about Morpheus, especially about his mood.

The master of nightmares was not very good at expressing his feelings. Mainly because he didn't always know them himself. Partly because he was stupid and not very good with people.

His emotions were like a storm inside him. And therefore, a storm inside the Dreaming, especially when he was nervous, angry or sad.

Happy or neutral sentiments were preferable, with the sky remaining blue, the sun lighting up the whole realm, and the wind seeming to sing melodies.

 Sometimes it was a little too hot, when he was in love and excited, but that was no big deal. Also, it never lasted very long.

Like the weather, Morpheus' mood was changing very quickly, and very easily.

And even though he was doing his best to hide his feelings behind a straight face, the Dreaming never left any doubt that something was bothering him.

     "Is it because of last night ?" Y/N asked calmly.

     "I don't wish to talk about it, love."

     "Not even to please me ? I don't like it when you rain, especially because of me."

     "... It's not because of you. I probably overreacted."

     "Kind of like always, darling, but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. Do you want a hug ?"

     "... Maybe."

The tall, terrible prince of the stories certainly didn't like being seeing as weak, but when Dream was in Y/N's arms, he looked like a cat desperately trying not to purr with pleasure, totally at her mercy.

It wasn't a problem since they were alone, but dreams and nightmares guessed what was going on, as the clouds disappeared and a rainbow formed over their heads.

     "She has to cuddle him all the time."

     "Hush."

     "Merv is right. I may be his more or less emotional raven, but he clearly needs her as an emotional human."

     "Get out of my library."

All of this could have gone quite well, since Y/N had managed to decode the functioning of the Dreaming, and therefore of Dream, but sometimes he was visibly lost and upset by her emotions, not knowing how to help her, and beginning to feel them with her.

Which was not a good thing, for him, nor for his kingdom.

Y/N therefore asked for advice around her, knowing that it was useless to ask Morpheus directly. Morpheus never really answered questions. That being said, his subjects weren't necessarily better for it.

Lucienne, loyal intelligent Lucienne advised her to speak to the Lord, as communication was important, although she had to be careful how she wanted to express what she wanted to say, as the Lord could misunderstand things.

Merv and Matthew thought that they should say nothing and just cover him with kisses and compliments so that he would always be happy. Because everyone wanted him to be happy, and everyone loved rainbows.

The Corinthian had a different opinion.

     "You have to do exactly like him." he declared with three huge smiles.

     "What do you mean, like him ?"

     "You want to help him by doing anything so that he doesn't get overwhelmed by emotions ? So don't show any emotion yourself. Keep them inside, act neutral, use a monotonous voice, express your love with ridiculously complicated little sentences, and it will be perfect."

Normally, it would have been strongly discouraged to listen to a nightmare. But despite their bickering, the Corinthian was arguably one of the creations that knew Morpheus best, so Y/N thought it wasn't a bad idea.

After all, Dream was a bit like a sponge. Absorbing all the dreamers' hopes, fears, desires, emotions, and though he was a separate being who felt distinctly, he couldn't completely cut himself off from the rest of the world.

So it seemed logical that he was sometimes troubled by others, and therefore by Y/N, with whom he spent the most time.

It didn't cost much to imitate him. It wasn't necessarily easy, but she could do it, for him, so it wouldn't be rainy or stormy too often.

So she trained in front of a mirror, doing her best to remain impassive as she thought about a joke, her deceased grandfather, an adorable kitten, her boss whom she wanted to strangle, and lots of things that never left her indifferent.

Part of her had thought Morpheus wouldn't notice. Another hoped he would see it, that he would be happy, and that she could smile to herself.

While they were watching her favorite movie together, a funny scene played out and she didn't react. Then another, and another, until Y/N felt that Dream's attention was no longer on the screen, but on her.

     "My love, you seem distant."

     "Not at all. I'm enjoying a pleasant evening, with you." she said with a neutral tone.

     "... You didn't laugh. Would you like to see another movie ?"

     "No, I like this movie. You weren't laughing either, do you want to change ?"

     "I never laugh."

    "Because you're too melancholic to find aything funny ?"

     "... No. My laughter... I was informed that my laughter could be frightening."

Y/N then turned to him, and at that moment, she almost smiled, finding the revelation ridiculous and adorable,  wanting to hear that laughter that her lover was so ashamed of, out of curiosity, but above all to reassure him.

Except that for that, she would have to show emotions, and make him feel emotions, and the goal was to remain as neutral as possible, so Y/N forced herself to remain neutral, looking at him straight in the eyes so that he knew that she was serious, while looking for the right wording.

"I'm sure your laugh is sweet." was the best thing that came to her, patting Morpheus' hand, before watching the movie again.

There were many other moments like this, at the New Inn, at the park, in the Dreaming, and Y/N really thought that everything was fine, that she was doing a good job. The weather seemed calm, with a few distant clouds, but no storms in sight.

Still, there was something in Morpheus' eyes when he looked at her. Curiosity mixed with fear. She didn't dare tell him about it, thinking it was nothing, and he didn't tell her either.

Until Matthew came to visit her as she was getting ready to go to sleep.

     "I don't know if I should ask you to go to bed quickly, or advise you to stay awake."

     "Why ? What's going on ? Morpheus is in trouble ?!"

     "Uh... That depends. Is everything okay between you two ?"

     "Yes, perfectly fine. Why ?" she asked, suddenly worried.

     "I don't know. It's foggy at the moment. We've had a few rains, a few tornadoes, but Lucienne managed to calm it down. Except that... Hmm... I don't know if I should say it."

     "Matthew."

     "He thinks you don't love him anymore." sighed the raven, lowering his head.

The news hit Y/N straight to the heart. For a moment, she wondered how Dream could have come to such a conclusion. Then she remembered how Dream was, his difficulties in understanding people, emotions, and even if he himself didn't often show what he felt, he clearly needed others to show him.

For a month, Y/N thought to make him happy. For a month, Morpheus thought she wanted to leave him.

     "... This is a terrible misunderstanding."

     "Glad to hear that. Can you tell him, please ?"

Falling asleep when stressed might take a while, but Y/N needed to see Morpheus quickly, so she closed her eyes thinking hard about him, and she arrived on the balcony of his palace.

It was raining.

Obviously, Matthew had come to see her before Lucienne went to speak to her master.

Dream stood in the rain, motionless, watching his realm. He didn't move when she came close to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

     "I love you, you know that ?" she asked shyly.

     "I hope so."

     "In wanting to please you, I made a mistake. Your mood changes so easily, you can be so fragile, so sensitive."

     "I'm not fragile." he muttered, continuing to stare into the distance.

     "You are, but that's neither an insult nor the question. I thought... The Corinthian told me that if I don't show my emotions, I won't upset you with them and that you I would be happy. I wanted to help, really. Since you know that I love you, I imagined that it wouldn't change anything. It would be inside, like for you. Sorry."

Finally, Dream turned to her, looking surprised and solemn. He stared at her for a long time, before taking a deep breath.

     "I see. So you made several mistakes, indeed."

     "Dream..."

     "You listened to the Corinthian, a nightmare."

     "I know."

     "You thought it would be good for you to keep your emotions inside, like me. Knowing that my emotions are never really inside, but entirely outside, in the Dreaming, while you should keep your storms in your little heart."

     "I get it, I..."

     "And you believed that I would like you to deprive me of your smile. Of your laughter. That you hide your sadness from me, which I could erase with kisses. Your anger, which I could appease with poems. Your love, which I carry in my chest. All this to make me happy ?"

So Morpheus did something that Y/N hadn't imagined.

He laughed. 

And like he said, his laugh was a little scary. Inhuman. A sound that mortals weren't supposed to hear, that no one was supposed to hear. But he was laughing, and he was smiling, and he came over to kiss her, and Y/N thought she liked that sound a lot.

     "My love, your emotions, all your emotions, are my joy. Do not hide them from me."

     "Okay. But promise me you'll tell me when it's rainy, and why."

     "Very well."

     "And I was right, your laugh is very sweet."

     "Yeah, I guess love makes you blind and deaf."

     "Matthew. Leave us."

     "Yes, boss. Glad it's not raining anymore."

Indeed, the sun had returned as he spoke, a bright sun, and even if the weather could never be perfect, like their relationship, Y/N would do everything to make Morpheus as bright as possible.

[indigogvf]

Need

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: mentions of SA!!! smut (minors dni), alcohol. If I missed anything please let me know!

Summary: You and Jake have never seen eye to eye, but when a guy creeps you out at his house party, does that change?

A/N: awful summary lol sorry I’m so tired and have been wanting to post this for ages. This is not as good as I wanted it to be, or as long, but I do not have the patience for that. For some reason the ideas were just not flowing for this fic, so I feel like it’s kinda jumpy. Sorry about that!! Also, my requests are open!! Anyway, enough of me yapping. Enjoy!!

This was not your thing; parties. It’s not that you hated them, but a nine pm bed time meant a lot more to you. Drinking made you sleepy. However, parties are especially not your thing when Jake is there. Even more so when they’re hosted at his house.

Much like tonight.

You can’t deny Josh’s puppy dog eyes for very long though, and you weren’t going to let one person ruin your night. He’s hosting the party anyway, so he has much more important things to worry about than trying to piss you off. You thought.

You thought wrong. As always.

The night begun smoothly. You felt confident and sexy, your dress hugging you in all the right places. You weren’t planning on getting into anyones pants tonight, but it felt nice to know you could. With that being said, you also felt nervous. You and Jake couldn’t get along at all; you can be civil when needs be, but it never lasts long. If you can’t get along sober, you doubt adding copious amounts of alcohol is going to have a positive impact.

You made your rounds of everyone, making sure to say hi to the people you knew; also making sure to keep well away from Jake. You and Jake have been holding the battle of “who can be the meanest” for quite some time now, and you honestly can’t even remember how it started, but you strongly disliked him. You’re both extremely stubborn, so as much as you feel bad for feuding with your best friends’ brother, you wouldn’t be caught dead making amends. And neither would he.

Obviously your first point of call after saying hello was getting yourself a nice, strong drink. A necessity, in your opinion. Definitely a necessity when jake’s around. You’d already lost Josh, who you came with, and you were now left to fend for yourself. You did know a good amount of people, but everyone knew everyone else more than you knew them, so you weren’t really sure where to start.

You wondered back to the main event, scouring the room for someone you know well enough to join their conversation. As you were looking around, you caught the eyes of Jake. His shirt was buttoned up by two buttons, max. You couldn’t quite see due to the darkness of the room. Speaking of, he’s wearing sunglasses. What a douchebag you thought. I mean, seriously? Sunglasses? In an almost pitch black room?

His hair was falling nicely, though. The sunglasses were giving his hair something to flow against, and it was framing his face well. It doesn’t matter how much you hate him, you will always be jealous of his hair.

He smirks at you, mischief written all over his face. You roll your eyes and move on. You promised Josh you wouldn’t argue with Jake tonight, and you really did feel bad. You know how hard it is for them to navigate this.

However, Jake had other intentions. He started walking over; you knew you were well within your rights to walk away, but you also knew that this would happen at some point, so you might as well get it over and done with.

“You look cute.” He mentioned sarcastically, gesturing to your dress.

“Thanks. Wish I could say the same about you.” You retorted with an eye roll, taking a step away from him. You wanted as much distance between you as possible.

“Oh, c’mon. You and I both know you like what you see.” He suggested with a cocky smirk, pointing at himself. He took a step closer, closing the space between you that you had just made.

“Seriously? You have that big of an ego? Take a look at yourself for once. You’re wearing sunglasses in a dimly lit room. Could you look like more of a dick?” You replied, taking a sip of your drink. You knew he enjoyed this a lot more than you did; you were easier to piss off.

“Look at myself? Look at you! You look like you’re begging to take someone home in that dress.” He laughed, throwing his head back. ‘Always so dramatic’ you thought.

“Yeah? Well at least I could take someone home if I wanted to, which I don’t, for the record. You can’t, not when you look like as much of an uptight prick as you.” You argued. You felt like steam was coming out of your ears. He always had to dig deep. Every time.

He began responding, but you had already started walking away. Like you said, you’d promised Josh you wouldn’t argue with him tonight, so you really didn’t want it to go any further.

You spot danny and Sam and take this opportunity to distract yourself. “hey guys, you having fun?” You asked as you waved at them.

“Hey y/n, did Josh ditch you? Already?” Sam queried, turning to face you. Danny sniggered beside him in response.

“Well, yeah. But I promise that’s not why I came to chat.” You knew that whatever Sam was suggesting was just a joke, but you also knew that if Josh hadn’t of ditched you, the overwhelming joy you felt when you saw them probably wouldn’t have been as intense.

“Yeah, whatever. How’s things with Jake? I see you’ve continued your feud.” Danny joined, subtly looking over to Sam. They know exactly how to wind you up. You will never understand how they find the humour in this situation; if it was the other way round, you would’ve grown impatient a long time ago.

“Yeah, but that’s done for the night. I’m really not in the mood for it to carry on tonight.” You said as you grabbed your drink to take another sip, taking a seat next to danny.

“Are you ever in the mood for jake, though? You say that every time, and every time the feud continues.” Sam giggled.

“You know, he’s right. How did this ‘feud’ even start? I can’t quite remember.” Danny said. Him and Sam were now laughing a little too hard considering how unfunny their comments were. At least you didn’t find them funny.

“You know what guys, maybe I will carry it on. Just for you.” You remarked, pointing your finger at both of them to further emphasis your point.

“Oh, we would love to see that.” Laughed Danny, turning to face you completely.

“Maybe you should just fuck it out. I mean, if all of our mutual friends can agree on that, maybe we’re right.” Sam added, without laughing. He was serious. He seriously suggested you ‘fuck it out’. With his brother.

“You guys suck. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab another drink.” You began walking away as they laughed; obviously happy with themselves for managing to wind you up.

You made your way into the kitchen, your eyes landing on a guy stood in the corner. You smiled politely as you walked past him to make your next drink. “You on your own?” He asked. Are. You. Serious. You thought. You were not in the mood for this.

“Uh, no. My friends are just in the living room, where everyone else is.” You said bluntly. You hoped that gave him the hint that you were definitely not interested.

Obviously, it didn’t.

“Your ass looks beautiful in that dress.” He said boldly as he took a step closer, looking you up and down.

“Thanks, but I’m not looking for any of that tonight.” You smiled in an attempt to soften the blow, whilst taking a step back.

“C’mon, you can’t wear a dress like that and not want some attention.” He laughed, reaching his hand out to brush your arm. You quickly retracted.

You were starting to panic slightly as it was clear he wasn’t getting the hint. “I’m okay, really.” You reiterated, taking another step back. You were now against the counter, awaiting his next move.

As he started to take a step towards you, Jake walked into the kitchen, pausing as he witnesses the guy come closer to you; again trying to reach out and touch your arm. He flicks his eyes to you, and you look at him with pleading eyes. You really hope he can see what you’re trying to tell him.

“Hey, what are you doing, man?” Jake asked, flicking his eyes between you as he walked further into the kitchen.

“That’s none of your business, man.” He mocks, drawing his attention back to you.

“It is when it’s my house. Did she tell you she was interested in you before you cornered her?” He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He folded his arms and leaned on the counter, raising his eyebrows as he impatiently waited for his response.

“Well, I- no, but-“

“Enough said. Get off of her and get out of my house.” He spoke with a steady tone, pushing himself off of the counter and moving out of the way, further prompting the guy to leave.

You breathed out, not even realising you were holding your breath. “Thank you so much.” You sighed, running your hands over your face as you tried to ground yourself.

“Yeah, are you okay? Did anything else happen?” He asked with panic laced in his voice. He walked over to you and moved his eyes over you to check that you were okay.

You looked up at him. His eyes were laced with concern and worry; they looked softer, It was different. He always looked at you with such annoyance, but you liked this. “I’m okay. Thank you, Jake.” You replied. You really were okay, but unwanted men coming onto you will never get less daunting.

“I’m sorry that happened. If you need anything, you let me know. My bedroom is upstairs to the right if you need some quiet.” He said softly as he ran his hand through his hair, letting it fall back into place.

You were taken back, to say the least. You and Jake were never nice to each other unless absolutely necessary, but even then you were still throwing dirty looks around like there was no tomorrow. It was a moment of clarity. You would see Jake acting somewhat similarly to others; always so kind and caring. But never towards you. You wondered what it would be like to not dislike him so much, and to actually get along with him. Although this only gave you a small taste of that, you liked this a lot more than hating him. You still hated him though. You’re way too stubborn to admit that you might like him, even to yourself.

“Thanks. I’m okay, I promise. I always get shaken up when this type of stuff happens. I just need another drink.” You laughed a little, trying to soften the mood slightly. You picked up your cup and started to fiddle with it. You felt too awkward just standing there.

“Yeah, sure. Help yourself. Do you want me to stay with you and then help you find josh? So you’re not on your own again?” He suggested as he walked past you to get a drink out of the fridge.

What the fuck? You thought. You knew Jake could be nice, but you never expected him to be this caring. Not in a million years.

“Uh, yeah, actually. Would that be okay? I don’t want to steal you from your own party.” You mumbled, starting to pour a concoction of various kinds of alcohol into your cup.

“Of course. I know where he is, so it shouldn’t take long.” He reassured you with a soft smile, brushing past you to find a bottle opener for his drink.

You grabbed your drink and went with Jake to find Josh. Once you found him, you said your thank you’s to Jake and walked over to Josh.

“Was that Jake? Were you just with Jake? Did you just smile at Jake?” He asked, an excited grin on his face. He got up from his seat, eager to find out if your battle with Jake has finally ended or not.

“Yes, yes, and yes. Some guy was being a massive creep and Jake saw and kicked him out. He was really sweet, actually. It was weird.” You said, taking a sip of your drink whilst stealing Josh’s seat.

“Does this mean you both like each other?” He said, completely disregarding the small mention of the creepy guy; you didn’t blame him, though. This was exciting for him. His smile widened as he got more eager by the second.

“No. I still hate him.” You said firmly. You were not admitted the fact that you maybe, slightly like Jake. Not happening.

“Ugh, c’mon, y/n. You know he can be nice, you’ve seen it yourself. He’s even been nice to you now. Without any prompting.” He pleaded as he sat on the edge of the table opposite you.

You leaned back against the sofa and sighed. You looked at Josh’s face and you could see he was desperate for this to finally be over. “Okay, fine. I don’t like Jake. However, I’m not as inclined to gauge his eyes out when I look at him anymore. Happy?” You reasoned.

He shook his head and smiled. “Fine. This is a starting point, then.”

“Sure. You can call it that if you’d like.” You giggled. It was clear he was a little frustrated, all he wanted was his best friend and brother to get along, but it was fun to wind him up sometimes.

As the night went on, people slowly startled to filter out the party, only leaving a few people. You were thinking about jake, and how he helped you. You wanted to repay him, so you took yourself to the kitchen and began clearing up some of the used cups. You figured he would appreciate this, since no one likes cleaning up the morning after whilst morbidly hungover.

You were nearly done when Jake walked in. He paused in the doorway, “What are you doing?” He asked, not moving.

“Oh, hi. I’m just cleaning up a little bit. Thought it might help you out tomorrow when you’re hungover.” You stated, smiling at him and continuing to throw away all the trash laying around.

“You don’t have to do that.” He began to walk over and attempted to take the bag from your hands. You pulled your hands away.

“You didn’t have to help me earlier.” You looked up at him and sent him a reassuring smile. You really wanted to help out.

“How are you doing after earlier?” He asked, ignoring your previous statement.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just glad you helped.” You replied, setting the bag down on the floor when there was no more trash left on the counters.

“How are you getting home?” He wondered, picking up the trash bag and moving it to the doorway so he could take it out later.

“Oh, I was just going to get a taxi.” You said as you fiddled with your rings, again feeling awkward with this new tone of conversation between you.

He shook his head, “No, you can stay here.”

“Why do you care how I get home?” You retort. It came out slightly harsher than you expected, and he took a step back.

“Why do i care?” He repeated. “Look, we might not see eye to eye, but what happened to you tonight wasn’t okay. He might not have done anything, but who knows what might’ve happened if i didn’t show up at the right time. I know you know that, and I also know that you’re going to have overwhelming anxiety about getting into a taxi, by yourself, at night. I’m not willing to let you do that whilst you’re also drunk and vulnerable. What kind of person would that make me if I didn’t care?” He said, raising his voice. He began to walk away from you, making his way out of the kitchen.

You rushed over to him, grabbing his hand to pull him back into the kitchen, “Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, I guess I’m just used to keeping my guard up around you.” You apologised, looking up at him. You realised you were still holding his hand, so you hesitatingly let go. You’d never really been this close to him, and you weren’t complaining. You studied his features, moving your eyes around his face.

“I know, me too. I’m sorry for shouting, it’s just annoying because I was being nice, and you sort of threw it back in my face.” He said as he did the same to you; studying your features.

You wondered what it would be like to kiss him, or what his calloused hands would feel like against your bare skin, or how he would feel insid- stop. You still hate him. You thought.

He wondered the same about you. He wondered how soft your lips would feel; how you would taste. He was willing to find out. In a moment of boldness, he began to move closer to your lips. He was getting closer, closer, clo-

“Hey guys- wait a minute. Did I just interrupt something?” Josh said as he walked into the kitchen, a smirk beginning to spread on his lips.

You both moved away from each other, not wanting to let on that you were making up with each other; or whatever you were doing. You weren’t really sure what just happened.

“No.” You both spoke at the same time.

“I was just clearing up, and then Jake came in. That’s all. What were you going to say?” You stuttered. You fiddled with your rings again, looking down at your hands.

“Oh. Well, I’m going to bed. I’m staying here tonight by the way, Jake.” He turned around and made his way out of the kitchen and upstairs to the spare room.

You giggled at Josh as you turned round to face jake again. “So, am I staying here, too?” You asked. You felt bad asking, but he was pretty clear on his opinions about you getting a taxi.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” He responded. He reached his hand to the back of his neck, playing with his hair. He obviously felt nervous. Or awkward. Probably awkward, you assumed.

“Yeah, thanks. Can I take a shower?” You asked. You felt gross, you always did after drinking. You noticed his eyes move over you, sparking a warm feeling in your belly. You tried to push the feeling away, not prepared or ready to feel this way about him on such short notice.

“Yeah. The bathroom is upstairs, opposite the top of the stairs. The towels are in the cupboard next to it.” He replied whilst pointing upstairs. Neither of you moved, you just started at each other. You were both equally as confused at what happened before Josh interrupted. Was it a moment? Was it not a moment? Who knows.

After a few seconds of painfully awkward silence and staring, you left to go upstairs and take a shower. You found the towels in the cupboard that Jake mentioned, and turned the shower on. You adjusted the temperature so that it was a little warmer, and peeled off your dress. It felt good to get it off of you; you never found tight dresses as the most comfortable option.

You tied your hair up in a bun after seeing the stingy amount of options for shampoo. You also didn’t fancy sleeping in wet hair. You stepped in and immediately relaxed at the feeling of the water hitting your back, making every effort to not get your hair wet. You took your time washing yourself, not wanting to leave the warmth of the shower. Your mind wondered to Jake. You’d always thought he was attractive, but you were never attracted to him. Probably because he was never nice to you. But after tonight, after seeing the caring side you’d only ever observed, you felt differently about him. It was hard to dislike him as much when you had been on the receiving end of his selflessness and kindness. You wondered what this meant for your relationship with him. Were you still enemies? Or were you walking into new territory with him? You weren’t sure.

Eventually, you decided to get out and began drying yourself. You wrapped the towel around you and tried to find Jake to ask where you would be sleeping, and if he had any clothes for you to wear. Both questions which should’ve been asked before you got in the shower, you realised. You found him in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed in just his trousers. You’d never seen him shirtless, and you’d never say no to seeing it again; that’s for sure.

You knocked gently on the door despite it being open, to let him know of your presence. He looked up and raked his eyes down your figure. You felt exposed.

“Hey. I was just wondering if you had anything for me to wear, and where I was sleeping?” You asked, speaking gently to not wake Josh up.

“Uh, yeah. You can sleep in here, if that’s okay with you. I’ll find you some clothes to wear, just give me a second.” He said, getting up from his bed and making his way to the chest of drawers to find some clothes for you.

“But where will you sleep?” You asked, feeling confused as you watched him dig through his clothes.

“On the couch downstairs. Here, you can wear this top. You can wear these pyjama bottoms if you want, but they’re a little big on me, so they’ll probably be big on you, too.” He muttered as he handed the pile of clothes to you. Your hands brushed together, the small amount of contact bringing back the warm feeling in your stomach. Stop. You thought.

“No, I’ll take the couch. I can sleep anywhere, it’s okay.” You responded, moving your hand to the top of your towel to stop it from slipping.

“Honestly, just take the bed. Take it as my formal apology for the last however many years of shit.” He smirked, attempting to make a joke out of the ‘however many years’ of torture.

“Oh, we’re apologising now?” You countered, returning his smirk.

“I think it’s about time, don’t you? Anyway, it’s your turn now. I just made my apology.” He said as he moved closer to you, leaning on the doorframe.

“Not to erase all of our progress, but that was not a very good apology.” You argued. God, he looked good without a shirt. You thought.

“I think it was a great apology. I’m offering you to sleep in a nice, warm, comfortable bed.” He retorted, gesturing to the bed behind him.

You shook your head and laughed. “It didn’t even include the word “sorry”, Jake.”

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry, y/n. Better?” He said, still sporting the same smirk.

You wanted to kiss him. You’d been trying to ignore this fleeting thought since you were in the kitchen together, but it was becoming insufferable. You squeezed your legs together at the sheer thought of him touching you.

“Better.” You responded, “I’m sorry, too. Truly.” You said, setting the tone to something more serious than before. You had less of an issue apologising to him now that he had initiated it, but you were so ready for this battle to be over between you.

He stared at you, not really knowing where to go from here. He also really wanted to kiss you; he thought you looked good in only a towel, and imagined how easy it would be to remove it. He imagined how you’d look underneath it, having to stop himself from finding out. He could see the swell of your breasts under the towel and felt himself starting to get hard. He saw your eyes flick down to his lips and linger there, before moving back up to his eyes. Does she want this, too? He thought. He took this as a signal that you felt the same and leaned in, capturing your lips in a gentle, yet passionate kiss.

You were in shock. You had been wanting this, but you did not realise he wanted it, too. You leaned into the kiss, feeding your hands into his hair. You tugged it at the roots slightly, earning a little groan from Jake in response. This felt so wrong; but it made sense. You wondered if all of your friends were right; maybe it was just built up sexual tension.

His hands moved round your waist, squeezing at your skin. His tongue swiped against your bottom lip begging for entrance, which you granted. You moaned into his mouth at the feeling and grabbed his arms, pulling him impossibly closer to you. You needed him, and he needed you just as much. You felt his hard-on press against your lower stomach. You could feel yourself getting wet at the thought of him inside of you, and reached your hand down and palmed him through his trousers. He sucked in a breath and pulled away, “Stop. Are you sure you want this?” He asked with concern and desperation written all over his face, pushing you away from him slightly.

“Yes, Jake.” You whined. You didn’t mean for it to come out like that; you were aiming for a steadier, firmer tone, but you found it hard to care, It’s not like you weren’t getting a little impatient.

He leaned back in, kissing you with more passion than before. He moved his hands to the top of the towel, silently asking you to take it off. You obliged, taking your hands away from his neck and unravelled it, letting it slide down your body.

He moved his eyes over your body, groaning at the site of you. “Fuck, you look so pretty.” He muttered, pulling you back into him and kissing you again.

You moved your hands to his belt a second time, undoing the buckle and chucking it on the floor. You undid the buttons and he slid them off, stepping out of them and kicking them out of the way. You saw his growing bulge through his boxers; you wouldn’t be lying if you said your mouth started watering at the sight. You wanted to taste him.

So you did just that. You got down on your knees, using his thighs as an anchor to ensure you didn’t keel over; that would be embarrassing. He looked down at you, his jaw slack and his hair draped around his face. He took his hand and gently cupped your cheek, slowly guiding your head forward. “You want a taste, baby?” He whispered, stroking your cheek with his thumb. You nodded your head yes whilst you took your hands to the tops of his boxers, he stopped you. Again.

“Words.” He demanded, tightening his grip on your jaw.

“Yes, I wanna taste you.” You muttered, still gripping his boxers.

He nodded, giving you permission to carry on. You slid his boxers down, revealing his hard cock. There was pre cum dripping out of the head, and you swear you almost started dribbling at the sight.

You leaned forward, his hand still pressed against your face, and licked up the side. He took in a sharp breath and closed his eyes, moving his hand so that he could grip your hair.

You took the head into your mouth, sucking gently. You wanted to tease him. You moved down slowly, hollowing your cheeks ever so slightly. “Ah, fuck. Don’t tease.” He uttered. His breathing was starting to get irregular as you continued down his length.

He was getting impatient. He needed to be inside of you, and you were taking too long. He moved his hand to the back of your head, edging you forward and testing the waters. You hummed around his cock, giving him approval.

He moved your head forward, forcing you to take almost all of him into your mouth. He was huge; to say the least. You hollowed your cheeks as much as you could as he created a rhythm for you. You moved your hand from his thigh to the base of his cock, jerking him off slowly as you took the rest of him in your mouth.

He hit the back of your throat and you gagged around him. His hand faltered as he threw his head back, “Jesus, y/n.” He growled, pulling your hair harshly. You could start to feel him pulsing in your mouth, and you knew he was getting close. He was panting, at this point. His hair was sticking to his face and his jaw was slack. He looked hot, and the need you’ve been feeling for him has just increased by an obscene amount.

Almost as if he could sense your increasing desire, he pulled you off of him. “I nearly couldn’t stop myself.” He admitted sheepishly whilst he helped you off of your knees, bringing you in for another kiss. He could taste himself on your tongue; he could’ve come if he carried on, the images of you on your knees flooding his head.

“Get on the bed.” He uttered, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it onto the floor. You obliged, swaying your hips as you walked over to the bed.

He joined you on the bed and pushed your legs further apart, “Now it’s my turn to taste you. You want me to taste how sweet you are, honey?” He whispered as he placed soft kisses around your dripping cunt.

You moaned at the sheer thought of his mouth on you, “Yes, please.” You whined, moving your legs further apart as a way to prompt him.

He liked a stripe down you, causing your hips to buck into his mouth at the sudden sensation. You grabbed his hair in your hands, tugging slightly. “Eager, are we? I’ve barely even touched you.” He taunted, smirking to himself at the thought of getting you so worked up.

Your cheeks turned a crimson colour from embarrassment. “Please, do something. I need you.” You pleaded. It was getting too much now; you just needed something, badly.

“Be patient.” He muttered into you, pressing his mouth against you again. He circled your clit with his tongue, and with no warning, pushed his fingers into you; setting a relentless pace. The noise you made was inhuman, and as a reminder of the sleeping beauty next door, Jake smacked his hand on your thigh. Your hand flew to your mouth in an attempt to hide the noises coming from you.

The rate at which he was pumping his calloused fingers was sending you to the edge at an embarrassing pace; he could feel you squeezing his fingers, “You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” He asked, somehow pumping his fingers even faster than before.

He sucked on your clit, and you couldn’t take it anymore. You were trying to speak, but you were sure your words were incoherent. Your orgasm was imminent; you were bucking your hips, desperate to come. His fingers hit a particular spot within you, and a wave of pleasure crashed into you full force. You were chanting his name like a mantra, though you were sure it made no sense. He took his fingers out of you and began lapping you up, striving to collect every little bit of your orgasm on his tongue. “So sweet.” He groaned.

You tried to push his head away; but he was stronger than you and carried on. “Can you give me another one? I know you can, sweet girl.” He prompted, pushing his fingers back inside of you and, yet again, setting a relentless pace.

“I need you, Jake.” You begged, still trying to pry his head away from yourself. You threw your head back into the pillows as the slight pain of overstimulated faded, being replaced with pleasure. “God, Jake.” You moaned.

“You gonna come around my fingers again, hm?” He taunted, placing his mouth back on your clit straight away.

“Fuck! Yes, yes, yes.” You whimpered, feeling your second orgasm approach quicker by the second.

“See? I knew you could do it for me.” He remarked, “C’mon, sweet girl. You can do it. Just one more and then you can have my cock, yeah?”

His words of encouragement egged you on, and you pulled at his hair in an attempt to bring him even closer. He groaned into you; the vibrations sending you over the edge. You threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut. You were beginning to wonder why you hadn’t listened to your friends because you did not want to wait any longer for him, and you were already half way there.

He pulled his head away, and slowed down the pace of his fingers, slowly working you through your high. He climbed on top of you, and the cold metal of his necklaces touching your chest sent a chill down your body.

You leaned in, starting a heated kiss with him. You couldn’t get enough of him; eager to feel him inside of you. He moved down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking harshly. You arched your back into him, “Please, Jake. Please, I need you so badly.” You cried, wrapping your legs around his waist.

You moved your hand down to his cock and stroked him softly, “you want my cock, baby?” He uttered, trying to conceal the groan he let out from such a delicate touch.

“I can’t take it any longer, I need you, Jake.” You demanded, quickening your pace on his hard cock. He could’ve come right there and then; the combination of your touch and your shameless begging making it hard to control himself. It was painful, and he wondered how he didn’t just fuck you up against the wall the second you removed the towel.

He removed your hand, replacing them with his own, giving himself a few languid strokes before guiding it to your entrance. “You sure about this?” He asked, his tone switching from demanding to concerned.

“Jake, if you don’t fuck me right now, I might go insane.” You stated, looking up at him with pure desperation. You genuinely thought you were going to combust with how impatient you were getting.

He needed no further confirmation, and thrusted into you. You yelped at the feeling of him; the burning sensation from his cock stretching you out catching you off guard.

“Shit, y/n. You feel so good. So ready for me.” He panted, setting an unforgiving pace. His thrusts were deep, and reached all the right places.

You wrapped your arm around his back and dug your nails into him, needing something to grip onto. He groaned at the feeling, gripping the sheets beneath him. You could feel yourself getting closer already, and so could he, “Are you close? I can feel you- fuck, I can feel you squeezing me.” He groaned into your neck, “I wont last much longer if you keep doing that.” He moaned as he started to suck on your neck, leaving reminders of tonight for tomorrow.

You tried to respond, but the immense pleasure you were feeling caused your mind to go blank. You were trying to hold your orgasm off; not wanting this to end, but to no avail, your third orgasm came crashing down. You dragged your hands down jakes back, most definitely leaving scratches for him to discover tomorrow. He fucked you through your high; not faltering once, whilst whispering sweet words of encouragement into your ear, “you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

You came down from your high, feeling utterly fucked out. “Can you do one more for me? I know you can- fuck, just one more, please?” He said, his steady facade slipping in an instant.

“Jake, I can’t. It hurts.” You pleaded. On one hand, you never wanted this to end. But on the other hand, you were exhausted and the overstimulation hurt.

He moved his hand down to your clit, circling his fingers around it quickly. “You said that last time, and you did. Stop being pathetic.” He growled, leaning his head into your chest to start sucking on your nipple.

Pain turned into pleasure; as usual, and your fourth orgasm was fast approaching. “You can do it, please do it.” He begged, his hips faltering as he tried to hold off his orgasm. “I need to feel you come around my cock.” He pleaded, quickening his fingers which were circling your sensitive clit.

He toyed with your clit faster, silently pleading with you to hurry up.

It worked.

Although not as intense as the last three, you were still sure you were sent to some other dimension as your fourth orgasm hit you. You could feel jakes hips faltering as he fucked you through your orgasm, whilst also keenly chasing his own.

“Fuck! I’m gonna come, y/n. Where do you want it?” He asked, his face screwed up and seconds away from coming.

“Inside! Please, I wanna feel you fill me up.” You urged as he tucked his head into the crook of your neck.

His hips stopped, and he let out a guttural moan that you wish you could play on repeat. You pulled his head away from your neck, trying to see his face as his come filled you up. His hair was stuck to his face with sweat, and his cheeks were a crimson red.

He collapsed on top of you, his heavy breaths heating you up even more. You brushed his hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ears, wanting to see his fucked out face.

He rolled off of you and got up to the bathroom, leaving you on your own to reflect on what just happened. When he came back, he had a wash cloth and kneeled beside you to clean you up. “You okay?” He questioned gently, stroking the outside of your thigh.

“Yeah. Just tired, is all.” You replied, smiling at him. He thought you looked cute; sprawled out on his bed looking all fucked out and tired.

He discarded the cloth and came to lay next to you, pulling you into his chest. You wrapped your leg around his waist, and absentmindedly started to draw patterns on his bare chest.

“Thank you. For helping me earlier.” You mentioned quietly. You felt bad. Now that you had seen, first hand, just how caring he is, you felt bad for the way you had previously treated him.

“Look, y/n,” he sighed, “I’m not a bad person. I know we haven’t gotten along for some time now, but it doesn’t feel good to think that you assumed I’d ever leave someone to fend for themselves in that type of situation; or any type of bad situation. I personally think I just adequately apologised by making you come four times, but I think you’d disagree. So, I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you, and for all of the comments I’ve made towards you. I’ll be honest, I’ve seen the way you are towards others; the real you, and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that. Now I know that you’re a great person, and always have been.” He confessed, stroking your hair softly. You were overwhelmed, to say the least. You never expected to make up with Jake so fast; let alone going from hating him, to having sex with him, all in one night.

“I’m sorry, too. I know, and knew, you weren’t a bad person. If we’re sharing secrets now, I’ve wanted to make it up to you for a while, but I was too stubborn. I would agree that you adequately apologised, but hearing you say the words made it a lot better. The best apology I’ve ever received, if you will.” You giggled softly, admiring his face. He always thought you were attractive, but seeing you in this knew light made it different for him. He wasn’t just attracted to the way you looked anymore, but you as a person, too.

You wondered what this meant for both of you. You knew you at least liked each other now, but you wanted to know him. The small taste of the real Jake you had gotten tonight was simply not enough.

“What does this mean for us? Are we friends now?” He queried, a frown appearing on his face.

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you take me out to dinner and we can find out?” You countered, your heart rate increasing at your sudden boldness. He stopped stroking your hair and looked at you with a grin.

“Deal.” He agreed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on your lips. You pulled away, nuzzling your head into his chest with a giddy smile plastered on your face.

[artful-aries]

I love your writing! Can I pls request “first I love you” with Diluc, Ayato, Al Haitham, zhongli, and Childe, pls? Ty

I’ve actually already done Alhaitham for this, but everyone else is included!

Saying “I Love You” For The First Time (Diluc, Ayato, Zhongli, Childe)

Diluc

What do you mean Diluc doesn’t say “I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand.”???

Saying he loves you is a difficult task, not because he doesn’t feel that way about you, but he’s terrified of what that would mean

As illogical as it is, he’s scared that if he admits he loves you, it means that he stands to lose you, and he doesn’t think he’s a strong enough man to bear any more grief than he already does

Yet it’s an undeniable fact that he loves you, and he agonizes over the feeling for weeks. It’s so obvious that he’s fretting over something; you and the entire Dawn Winery staff know it by his ceaseless pacing he does whenever he has a spare moment, but when asked about it he writes it off as merely being lost in thought about how to manage the winery better

Once he gathers the courage to admit to himself that he loves you, Diluc still hesitates on telling you his feelings. He doesn’t want you to feel awkward or pressured into loving him, so he resolves to wait until you confess first

That’s what he settles on, yet he finds himself going out of his way to show you he loves you rather than telling you. He gives you more tender kisses, lingering glances, and he even blushes under your gentle caresses of his face or hair. There’s nothing quite like a little love to make a man crumble

His heart always feels like it’s burning when he’s around you, threatening to consume his rationality and his resolve to let you take this relationship at your own pace

Eventually, Diluc finds himself unable to hold it in anymore. You’ll just be sitting with him in his manor, enjoying the peace and quiet when he would suddenly stand up from his desk and walk over to take your hands in his, the intensity of his gaze throwing you off guard a little

“There is no greater honor than to give my heart to you, (Y/N). I love you, and I hope that you feel as strongly for me as I do you.”

He’ll give your hands a soft kiss, the passion burning in his fiery red eyes as he awaits your response. Diluc is graceful should you say that you don’t feel that strongly yet or aren’t ready to give an answer, but that would cut him deeper than he would ever confide in anyone. If you return the sentiment, a soft smile slowly begins to spread on his face, and he’ll ask to kiss you

After the initial confession, Diluc still isn’t one to say he loves you much; despite his almost stoic exterior, verbalizing the overwhelming yearning he feels for you makes him flustered, so he does it seldomly. He prefers to leave that kind of language for intimate moments rather than just saying it as if he was commenting on the weather

Ayato

Calm, cool, and collected at all times, once Ayato has realized that he’s in love with you he is going to be confident in confessing to you, but he is a bit hesitant at first. As the head of the Kamisato Clan, he does worry about the target that might put on your back

It’s not that he’s not confident in his ability to keep you safe, but he wonders if he’s being a bit selfish in putting you in that kind of danger in the first place

Before he settles on confessing, he might ask you about your opinions on love in a roundabout way; guided questions on long term relationships, love, your opinions on his work, and your overall happiness with him now are the tools he uses to find out where he might stand in your heart.

If there is any hint of trepidation, Ayato will not confess to you until a later time. He’s willing to wait until he is old and grey if that is what it takes to ensure that his confession is something you want too. Even if he never finds the right time to confess, he won’t have any regrets

The last hurdle for him to jump through will be to talk to Ayaka. His sister is already aware of his relationship with you, but he thinks it’s important for her to know the depths of his feelings, almost like he’s asking for her blessing. His sister is extremely important to him, so he wants to make sure that she doesn’t have any reservations with how his relationship is progressing, even though he knows Ayaka will be happy for him

Once everything falls into place, Ayato is ready to tell you that he loves you. He wants to make the occasion romantic but very private, so he asks if you’d be willing to accompany him on a walk.

After finding a suitable location away from any prying eyes, he will smile at you and tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear or will gently caress your cheek as he tells you he loves you

It’s simple, yet sweet. After dealing with the politics of the Yashiro Commission and subsequently his own cryptic conversations, he feels that it’s very important for him to speak plainly at this moment. He doesn’t want to play mind games, not with his affections for you

When you return his words he is elated, though outwardly he only has a soft smile on his face as he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in Teyvat

From then on, he’s pretty liberal with his affections; he’s not going to hang all over you and coo at you, but he will tell you every morning that he loves you, and when he returns in the evening after a long day he tells you he loves you then too. No matter how he feels or how tired he is, he doesn’t want you to go a single day without you knowing that you’re loved

Ayato knows better than most that those you love aren’t guaranteed to stay with you forever, so he makes a point to ensure that he never misses an opportunity to give you the affection you deserve

Zhongli

Falling in love is a slow and steady process for him, and before he knows it suddenly he feels like he’s almost suffocating in his feelings for you

Despite this overwhelming emotion, Zhongli remains the sophisticated man he always is, leaving you none the wiser of the hammering of his heart each time he looks at you

With you being a mortal, he has his reservations about confessing his love to you; he felt like it was selfish to subtly tie you down to him, knowing that you would age gracefully over time, and he would remain stagnant. Your mortality was in part what drew him to you, and it hurt to know that the very thing that he adored about you would one day tear you two apart

He spends a lot of his free time reflecting over this fact, and your relationship as a whole. Humans were always changing, like the babbling brook that turns into a river at the first flood. Would you be able to handle the unyielding emotions of a former Archon?

Ultimately Zhongli decides to take a leap of faith, believing in the love that you have shown him thus far and calls you to have a cup of tea with him. Over your afternoon tea, he begins to let the emotions in his heart out

“I want you to know that though the world around us may change and potentially become something unrecognizable, my feelings for you will always remain. They are embedded into the very core of my being. I love you, (Y/N). I can assure you that will never change in all of the millennia to come.”

His confession is unintentionally intense, but it rings true to the depth of his feelings. Zhongli’s love for you reverberates throughout his entire being, and he longs for you to feel the same

When you say that you love him too, he will chuckle slightly before smiling at you, thanking you for your honest response

There is an unspoken tension between you two about the weight of what a mortal loving an immortal would inevitably mean, but Zhongli opts to put those feelings aside for now. He doesn’t want to ruin this jovial moment with the somber talk of the inescapable end of your life

He plans to have that talk with you sooner rather than later, but for now he focuses on making you feel loved rather than just hearing it. He becomes a lot more tender with you, a feat that you didn’t even know was possible when he already cherished you before his confession

It’s almost like he acts like you two are married already, which you most certainly have no complaints about. Hu Tao even jokingly refers to you as “the missus” whenever she talks about you

Childe

This man is ANNOYING when he’s in love. You’ll almost know before he even says the words by how clingy and possessive he gets. He barely lets you out of his sight when he’s not wrapped up in a mission for the Fatui

Not only is he clingy, but he loves to push your buttons now more than ever. Seeing your cute face all scrunched up with frustration or irritation is almost as rewarding as when he gets to kiss you, or the feeling he gets during the heat of battle. Almost.

Despite relishing in your reactions, he takes great care to make sure that you don’t hate him. How is he supposed to tell you he loves you if you can’t stand to look at him?

While waiting for the perfect opportunity to say those three magical words, Childe finds himself daydreaming about you. His thoughts are usually quite sweet considering his usual cutthroat demeanor; he even goes as far as to imagine marrying you, and what your future children will look like. He’s a family man at heart, and is completely head over heels in love with you

If the opportunity to tell you he loves you doesn’t come up naturally, he will make it come up. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, when he’s about to burst at the seams he’s coming to collect you for his romantic confession. You’re at work? He’ll tell your boss an emergency came up before scooping you into his arms and taking off. No matter how much you protest, he will not put you down until he’s brought you to a nice, quiet place

Now that he’s actually about to tell you how he feels, Childe almost gets a bit shy about it as he quietly puts you down, scratching the back of his head as he thinks of how to word this feeling inside him. You can’t help but smirk a little at the rare sight of the speechless, nervous Harbinger in front of you

He eventually finds his bravado again and finally speaks with a soft expression, “Hey (Y/N), listen, I like spending my time with you. You’re smart, funny, resilient, and you’re even cute too, which is a plus.” Childe would dodge a swat from you before continuing, “What I’m trying to say is, I love you. I’d rather die than to love anyone else, you’re my one and only.”

When you say you love him too, he’s grinning ear to ear as he hoists you up again, ignoring your protests as he spins you around with a rare lighthearted laugh. He won’t be able to resist pulling you in for a kiss either, he’s just so ecstatic that you feel the same way he does

If you thought he was annoying before he confessed, he is a living terror after. Even worse, he uses your love as a shield from your anger if you ever complain about his antics. What do you mean he can’t grab your sides to make you jump? Didn’t you say you loved him?

Despite him constantly teasing you, there’s a warm look in his usually cold eyes that you aren’t used to. It’s a bit flattering to you to know that you were able to turn such a hardened, battle hungry man into the doting goofball he was now, even though he got on your nerves sometimes

Childe is never going to let you forget that he loves you, and constantly seeks to bait you into telling him you love him just as much. The man is pretty much on cloud nine around you. With his confession of the depth of his feelings out of the way, his new goal is to find a way to start a family with you, but he knows to bide his time on that topic…for now

[shadeysprings]

The Tears on Ivory

—Priest!Lee Bodecker x Church Pianist!F!Reader

Summary — The new priest of your church asks you to sing for him.

Warnings — noncon, public sex, face shot, religious references, and other dark themes. There may be more that I forgot so I ask that you read with caution.

A/N — Kindly blame @vellicore and @flordeamatista for such sexy sinful ideas. But I mean, who could even resist this belly daddy? Not me. No beta so may be sloppy.

As always, your feedback is highly appreciated and your reblogs would be amazing. And of course, I hope y'all enjoy! ❤️

A sense of unease washes over you when you see Father Bodecker standing by the royal doors, bidding the last child and his parents goodbye. Choir practice just ended and you collect your music sheets from the stand of the piano, yet you do it with haste, not wanting to be alone with him in the great hall. But the sound of the wooden doors closing is just as loud as your beating heart.

“Leavin’ so soon, Sweetheart?” His voice echoes through the night air and you turn to face him, watching as he slowly walks up to you.

“It’s gettin’ late, Father.” You tell him with a smile, doing your best to hide the fear that begins to bloom in your core. “My daddy wouldn’t want me stayin’ out too long. Says it ain’t safe for a lady bein’ alone in the night.” You explain, hoping that the mention of your daddy would keep him at bay.

“But you’re in the house of God with your priest. Ain’t nowhere safer than here, right?” He’s closer now, intense blue eyes trained on you and the smirk he sends your way brings a chill up your spine. You look away, not wanting him to see your dread, and focus on the white tab tucked underneath the collar of his black shirt.

“I hear you singin’ with ‘em kids—such a lovely voice you have.” You take his compliment but keep your guard up as you cradle your purse in your arms, keeping the bench between the two of you. “I want to hear it again. One of ‘em hymns for tomorrow’s mass.”

“I’d love to, Father, but—”

“You know, disobeying the will of the priest is equivalent to disobeying the will of God.” Your hand trembles with how he says those words, swallowing thickly as you try to calm your nerves. “You wouldn’t want that, do you? To disobey the Lord?”

You shake your head.

“Good girl.” The praise makes you feel nothing but disgust. “Now, why don’t you get back in that chair and start playing?”

And just like that, you do as you are told; setting down your purse on the side of the piano and taking your seat once more. Your spine tenses and your hands shake upon setting them over the keys when he goes to stand behind you, feeling the excess of his stomach brushing against your arm.

Just play, you tell yourself, and you hope then when you do, when you’ve done what is being asked of you, that he will leave you alone.

Ever since Father Bodecker - Lee as he likes to be addressed - arrived in your quaint town as the new priest, things for you have never been the same. The sense of trepidation never once came across your mind when you were first within his presence, but it soon blossomed, quite strongly, in your opinion, when you saw the way he looked at you each time you stayed behind to practice the songs for the mass. 

How his hands would mindlessly touch you, innocently from the outside looking in, but you know to yourself that they’re beyond appropriate especially for a woman as yourself and even more for the man of God. His lips utter words of vulgarity, ones you know someone of his profession should never say.

But what had you fearing his presence was once, before Sunday mass, while you were practicing the psalms on the podium, you saw him enter from your periphery and stood behind you, too close for your liking. You thought he was simply curious about what you were reading but such thoughts ultimately vanished when he pressed his hands on the wooden surface of the stand and you felt something hard dig into your backside. 

You’d only ever escaped when one of the parish volunteers arrived earlier than expected and you heard the growl of disappointment that he emitted. Yet you know deep down that won’t be his last attempt, especially after seeing the determination in his sapphire eyes, a promise of a next time. 

As you reach the end of the song, you startled upon feeling his hands rest on your shoulders, his thumbs massaging your muscles and his warm breath scattering against your cheek.

“You play so beautifully, Sweetheart. Singin’ those praises like an angel.” He’s so close and you feel your heart pounding wildly against your chest, panic completely setting into your bones. “Why don’t you sing another praise—for me this time.”

“I’d love to, Father, but it is already getting late.” You tell him as you move to stand from your seat but his hands keep you firmly still and you gasp in shock when he leans you forward, pushing you against the keys that cry upon being pressed. “Father—what are you doing?” You ask frantically, eyes wide in fear as you struggle against his hold.

“I just want to hear that sweet voice of yours.” His voice is laced with darkness and your knees almost buckle when he pushes away the bench from underneath you, hand lifting the skirt of your dress. “I wonder what other sounds you can make, huh? I’m dyin’ to hear.”

You claw your fingers against the piano when you hear the sound of his zipper being undone, struggling much more to set yourself free. But you’re rendered helpless against a man his size, his feet pushing your own apart and a gasp wretches from your throat when in one swift move, he’s inside you—your walls stretching in pain from his girth.

Tears spill from your eyes as he moves his lips in a sadistic pace, each of his thrust sending you shivers of agony, making every second of his assault unbearable. His groans mix with the sound of ivory and your pleas for him to stop, Father Bodecker panting and mumbling a slew of curses when he continues to plunge, harder and faster, unrelenting of his sinful intent. 

You beg once more, your nails digging into your skin as you try to push him back, but such a gesture is futile—benefiting him further as it allows him to slide deeper into your core that begins to grow damp with each torturous second. 

He calls out your name in the flurry of notes, his hips moving erratically that you feel something foreign, something new, something forbidden pull at you from within. You grit your teeth and shut your eyes as you endure the sins he brandishes on your soul.

But all at once, he’s gone and you’re empty, the walls of your abused cunt clenching around nothing. A grunt is then pulled from your lips when you're effortlessly pushed onto your knees and you stare up at him in horror when he grabs the back of your head, keeping you in place.

That’s when you truly see the devil he truly is. He’s no man of God but a spawn of the underworld.

He groans once more, his cock stiff and throbbing in his hand as he strokes it once, twice, seeing his eyes shut tight with his face twisting in bliss and you’re shocked to your core when streaks of hot, white essence paint your face.  

Disbelief engulfs you, along with anger and shame—that he would do this to you and in the house of the Lord.

A dark laugh escapes him as he looks down on you, his hand cupping your cheek as he smears his seed on your face then tapping the tip of his cock against your lips.

“Blessed are you among women,” He quotes. “And blessed is the one who has shared the seed.”

[randomness-is-my-order]

i just want to say: i’m seeing some outrage from a very small part of the fandom that doesn’t approve of opinions put forth by first time viewers who have never read the books. these opinions–based on only a very small percentage of the whole story–are still valid. we all had our fair share of good and bad takes as we went through the books and these people, completely new to the pjo world and riordanverse deserve to voice their perspective without a bajillion people coming at them with corrections, spoilers and weird comments about how they are wrong and should refer to the source material.

i’m gonna be straight–no viewer of the pjo tv show is obligated to read the books before participating in the fandom. their opinions should still be respected and if one needs to contest their views, it shouldn’t come from this weird ass place of superiority because we have read the books, but from a vantage of friendly discourse and understanding that the person has yet to complete the pjo journey.

the reason i feel so strongly about this is that my nephew watched the show with me just yesterday. i always wanted to introduce him to this world and i tried getting him to read but he’s not a reader. he doesn’t derive enjoyment from reading the same way that i do. and partly the reason for that is his dyslexia and adhd (this is a consequence unique to him, ik others, including my sister, do enjoy reading even with dyslexia/adhd). so imagine how much i wanted him to get to know percy jackson and annabeth chase and all these wonderful characters who he could relate to and thanks to the show, now he gets to!!! how awesome is that??? i casually asked him yesterday if he would try giving the books a chance but he told me no and we moved on and had icecream.

the point of the tv show is to pull in from this vast pool of audience that has never read the books. this will inevitably lead to more book readers but it will also have a part of the fandom that are tv show-only and we can always fill them in on the finer details and try to acclimate them to the deeper lore but the show itself being their basis for analysis and opinions is 100% valid and we should be understanding and accepting of that. not everyone wants to read a book to understand a story. some just want to watch a cool show portray the entire narration and that’s okay. these people may love luke as he is now, or not be fans of percy or annabeth or think gods are just soooo cool–and that’s perfectly okay. maybe even after the season’s done, they may not enjoy some characters that we do because things from the book haven’t translated one-on-one and still, that is okay. their opinions on characters through the show alone are valid and should always be valid. we can always argue that if they read the books and had a rounded understanding of characters, they’d agree with us but they don’t... they never will because books aren’t their thing or maybe they can’t invest as much time into reading or maybe just because they don’t want to–and that is, once again, completely okay.

[itzalizeyyy]

hii, its alizey here! In this blog, I have copied and pasted common questions and amazing great answers and explanations to those questions. I will credit every single answer to the right blogger. I strongly recommend to go check them out.

This is meant to decrease the frequent common questions being asked. If your question hasn’t been answered here, I am still trying to add more when I can but you can always ask me or other great non-dualism bloggers.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Q&A

“Hey so lets say i become aware of sth i dislike. That doesn’t mean it exists if i don’t want it to? I can simply switch my awareness to being aware that it doesn’t exist?”

“consciousness doesnt dislike it, its ego that has opinions and dislikes things. if u i observe/become aware of it, it exists but it will never be real bc nothing is ever real. it “existing” is just you being aware of it its nothing serious. but yeah being aware of something else and not the thing that ego dislikes makes it not exist anymore” - @msperfect777

“What if I want to be an actor and then be in a relationship with a celebrity? I'm new in the non-dualism so idk too much.”

“imagine it. if u dont understand then read my non dualism series on my pinned post bc thats what its there for” - Msperfect777

“I have a df, and I'm confused bc in loa they tell you that you alr have it in the 4d and wait until it is reflected in the 3d, but in non dualism it's different, and it is difficult for me to understand, what if I imagine it but never look the way I want?”

“bc u think u are human and u think there is a separation of “4d” and “3d”. non dualism = there is no separation bc everything is consciousness (ur true self). ego is making it seem harder than it is bc its so used to “reflections” and “manifestation” and separations. read my non dualism series on my pinned post.” - msperfect777

“how did you learn about non dualism and why? are there any good sources to read when you start?”

“@infinite.ko on instagram is where my journey started. shes so helpful so go check her out. “ - Msperfect777

“How can I use non dualism to become aware of my dream life?”

“non dualism is just a concept. be aware of ur dream life the same way u are aware of these words. but in imagination. bc as u know everything is imagination.” - Msperfect777

“Ok so if I’m getting this correctly, I am consciousness which = imagination so I don’t need to do anything bc I’m aware that imagination is the only consciousness I feel like ghe way i typed it out doesn’t make sense but basically only imagination matters, not sure if I’m getting “

“EVERYTHING is imagination. imagining a phone and the phone “you” have in “your” hand rn in the “physical” are not different. the illusion is that they SEEM different bc one SEEMS more realer than the other. yes theres nothing to do bc u are always aware as awareness / consciousness.” - msperfect777

“why does the "physical reality" feel so much realer than when fulfilling something in our imagination if it's all the same? how do i become of aware the things in my imagination to feel as real as what my ego or human body is experiencing?”

“1) its an illusion. ego is programmed to think that “physical world” is more realer than imagination

2) how to become aware? ur aware of these words rn. the second part seems to me that u think u are a human and u want something to “reflect” from imagination to the “physical” … u havent understood non dualism yet

3) theres no “feeling”… feeling is unreal. everything is a dream, an illusion” - Msperfect777

“I have this mentality that I’m not everyone cause I feel worthless and not speical I can’t really accept that I’m god . Any advice ?”

“thats the ego‼️‼️ you “feel” worthless and “cant accept” your true self bc youre stuck identifying with the human/body/mind = false self. SNAP OUT OF IT. heres an example that i heard somewhere i forgot where: when you watch a movie, you know it is a movie bc you are outside of it. you are observing it. now what about the characters in the movie? they dont know its a movie bc they are not outside of it. they think they are just regular ppl and they dont see the truth, their true selfs: which is just characters in a movie. what about water? water doesnt know its water bc its not on the outside, in order to observe/become aware that it is water. tell me why we can see or be aware of the body? why can we be aware of thoughts and feelings? bc we are “outside” of it. thats not who we really are. we are consciousness which is only aware of the body/ego. its not who we really are. we are not the body; we are not human; we are awareness/consciousness/the observer. we only observe these feelings/body/ego. so why take them seriously? now that you know that the ego is false and the body is false and that your true identity is only the observer, choose to stop identifying and agreeing with your thoughts and ego. they arent real. silently observe those thoughts and feelings come and go bc as the observer, observing is your nature. theres no need to fight with these unreal, imaginary things right? know your true self and observe. “ -msperfect777

“i am everything, right? so if i want to be in a TV show being a specific character, i already am and i just have to be aware of it? but how could i be aware of something i want if i don't know how it is having/being that thing?”

“sounds like ego is over complicating it… u are aware of these words right now. do u have to “know how its like” observing these words to be aware of them? no bc being aware and observing is natural, thats ur true identity. imagine it and it exists instantly. any other thoughts or beliefs are unreal, illusionary ego.” - msperfect777

“i have dream last night and want to know what you think. about dreams!”

“dreams r unreal. an illusion just like the “waking” “physical” world.” - msperfect 777

“If i am aware of some desire i want in my human being. It will instantly show physically. But what if i don’t see it physically?”

“what is “physical”? for you do identify something as “physical” and worry about some reflection means you see duality and separation where there is none. everything is imagination. you want to see it “physically”? imagine it and it exists instantly. you are limiting yourself to this unreal “physical” world when everything is imagination either way. you havent fully understood non dualism yet.” - msperfect777

“I am a little confused. so like everything is consciousness right, so I am everything and everything is me. so is my human self also me? like when I say “I am happy” does it refer to the human self or my true self?”

“everything is a form of consciousness. the human false self is also a form of consciousness. let me break this down: everything is you but you are not everything. everything is you bc everything is a form of consciousness bc nothing can exists without you being aware of it first. so a cat is a form of consciousness. a cat is you. but you (consciousness) is not the cat. your true self is consciousness and you cannot be a form of consciousness bc consciousness itself is the only real thing. thats why forms of consciousness arent real and only exist when you become aware of them. consciousness = limitless bc you can be / imagine anything. forms of consciousness arent limitless bc they are just forms of you. they cant be limitless bc they are only illusion and therefore unreal. and yes everything is consciousness bc its all you. just wanted to clear that up hopefully its not too confusing. a form of consciousness is unreal while consciousness itself is all it can ever be. yet everything is consciousness (non duality). if thats too confusing to understand, its fine bc either way everything is consciousness. i just wanted to use ur question to mention that. the human self is a form of consciousness but it isnt your true identity (consciousness) bc it is only a form of consciousness. consciousness is naturally “happy” and naturally “peace” so i would say that when ego/human says “i am happy” that it refers to the human ego, not the real you.” -msperfect777

so if i already am immortal, could i never become old (appearance)? and i will literally never die? i have fear of even "manifesting" not physically aging and being immortal, I actually end up aging and dying. it's like so ???? yk idk how to explain

“you are worried about being the human body which you are not. consciousness does not get old. consciousness never dies. consciousness = ur true identity. having that fear is the ego. the ego isnt real and feelings arent real. the body ends up aging and dying which is ur false self… consciousness (ur true self) doesnt. again you are already limitless so if u want the body to not age, imagine it and its done.” -msperfect77

“Giving myself burger in my imagination doesn’t satisfy my hunger in 3D How is that the same? Like seriously not meaning to be rude but doesn’t make sense.”

“thats an illusion. ask yourself who thinks they are still hungry? the answer wouldnt even matter bc this is all not real. you are consciousness that is playing the role of a human being and for the body, it is natural that it eats like its natural for consciousness to be aware. it seems not the same bc ego takes “not satisfying hunger in the physical world” as an excuse for the “physical” being the “real reality” and therefore it thinks imagination and “physical world” are separate, even tho the body is only consciousness bc nothing can exist without u being aware of it first. and since consciousness = imagination, everything = imagination. including the body and the body still being hungry. its all illusion😍. ego just thinks the two situations “feel” different even tho it all exists within consciousness therefore only being consciousness. hope that makes sense. “ - Msperfect777

“perfect , i have a question. all the teachers and blogs say we are human beings, designed to live a human life. let's say I want to manifest being immortal, or for example a vampire, or even a literal goddess. it's possible? with all these lectures saying that we are designed to live a human life, i had this doubt”

“you are already immortal bc consciousness never died bc consciousness was never born. “dying” is an unreal concept for ego and ppl who sadly dont know theyre true selves. you want to be a vampire? imagine it. literally you are every experience ego has had. everything is consciousness = you are already “your” phone. these words are forms of you. the human body is a form of consciousness. the beach and the rain and a chocolate cake and the side walk are forms of you. since you are so limitless that you can take all those infinite forms, why not be a vampire or a goddess. you are infinite limitlessness. dont doubt that. and ppl saying you are designed to life a human life are limited. we take on the role of humans at first but you literally make the rules in your own game. be whatever you want. no one and nothing can stop you💀. dont listen to a teacher/blogger that makes you feel limited. you are meant to do whatever you want, play whatever game you want in whatever form. do it bc you can and thats the point of life. “ -msperfect777

“Not trying to be rude but , you as human not real so why do you eat? Why do you drink? Why do you care about your life since everything is not real?”

“1) i am consciousness disguised as a human being. human bodies have natural things like breathing, blinking, eating etc. those are natural for the human just like it is natural for consciousness to be the observer.

2) non dualism implies nothing is real and this is all an illusion so all this is a game that i get to shape. i can imagine anything and there it is instantly. i can remove and add things right away. the point to enjoy this illusion and have fun and realize that pain and suffering isnt real. since i play the role of a human being, “i” choose to keep the body going by breathing and eating bc those are natural for the body. and i will enjoy the game that is a projection of me (consciousness) which i can shape instantly.” Msperfect777

“This is a lot to take in lol. I’m rereading your series over and over again, but my question is how does it all relate back to loa and manifesting?”

“it has nothing to do with manifesting n loa. thats where ppl get confused im assuming bc loa ppl made it a “trend” so ppl think it has to do with manifesting. non dualism has to do with all of “life”. the point it so notice that “suffering” isnt real. that nothing is real and once you understand it, you will realize all this is just a game and everything is peace. understanding non dualism = everything is you. since everything is you, what is there to “manifest”? non dualism haters say that non dualism stems from loa when non dualism is an ancient concept while loa was known during the 1900s…. loa is like an ant compared to the whole earth when it comes to non dualism. if you try to mix them together, it wont make sense which is what happened in the past when non dualism was a “trend” in the loa community.” -msperfect777

“I know that I have my desired appearance but when I look in the mirror I see other appearance so what can I do?”

“You haven't grasped that the "physical" reality is not real and are waiting for something to materialize! You know you have it in imagination so there's no need to continue to look in the mirror and go "I don't see it yet. Cause at the end of the day it's your ego that "doesn't see it yet" and you are not the ego.” @iamthat-iam

“Hi, I (my ego or whatever) haven't fully understood non-dualism yet. so I want to continue with the law of assumption, self-concept, states, affirm and persist, I know that I am not trying to do this to change something, but that it is already like that, I do not affirm to obtain like when we think that something is going to happen and we affirm it but not for it to happen but because it will happen, thus understanding the manifestation, not to obtain it but because it is already mine and to change my concept of myself but now I feel that this does not work or is not real for not understanding non-dualism. I know that non-dualism is not loa pero igual me confunde todo.”

“Hey, it's totally fine if you don't understand non dualism yet! And it sounds like you understand law of assumption, not doing techniques to get things but understanding you already have it. If non dualism is making you confused, I would stop reading posts about it (and maybe law of assumption posts too) and just focus on having your desires already. “ -iamthat-iam

“What is the truth ? Is truth subjective and personal or objective? Am I the one who determines the truth and am I the one who controls the truth? Do ı have to listen to what teachers, masters, gurus, coaches tell Is it possible that I don't want to accept the teachings of teachers, masters, gurus and coaches as true and real and real? I don't accept the teachings of teachers, masters, gurus, coaches, etc. as true and real, can I do that? How do I recognize, accept and realize that I am the one true God? What do you mean by no desire? “

“Hi, so there is only one "objective truth", that being you decide what is true or not. All other "truths" are subjective. You are consciousness and consciousness is the only reality. People who believe in karma will experience karma, those who don't, will not. The people who do experience karma are consciousness of it existing. You don't have to accept what any teachers or gurus say, because you are the one who decides what the truth is. Accepting your true nature as God means to dis identify with your body, your mind and your ego (human identity) As God, consciousness, awareness, you already are everything, you are always fulfilled, complete and whole, therefore there's nothing to desire, all desires come from ego and the illusion of seperation. “-iamthat-iam

“Hiiii queen I’ve been reading your posts for the last two days and I get everything except the part where how can I change the experience of my human self? I get it that it’s all an Illusion but how do I change it”

“Hiii! The statement "it's an illusion" answers your own question! What experience is there to change, if it's not real to begin with? Anything about your ego's life that you wanted to change, has already happened and already exists within consciousness. You're not lacking anything! “ -iamthat-iam

“i feel like this is redundant but do you have any tips for accepting consciousness as reality? or is it just something that comes to you”

“When you daydream, sometimes you get so lost that when you "snap back" to "reality" you're like woah, I completely forgot where I was!”

“That's because the physical reality isn't real, it comes and goes, and it disappeared when you were daydreaming. In that moment that daydream was your reality because you were conscious of it. Test it out, get really lost in a daydream, and then notice how your awareness of the "physical" slowly fades. “ -iamthat-iam

“So all I have to do is imagine my desire and BAM I just experienced it? Since imagination is the only reality ... Imagine it and knowing that it really happened at the very moment when I imagined it and just go on my day without worrying or anything because that particular thing already happened , what wanted already is there THAT'S IT??”

Yes!! That's literally it! I think people aren't grasping how simple this is! Imagine once and it's DONE” -iamthat-iam

“I still feel unsure on nondualism. It’s just that I’ve been part of loa for so long. And I see so many success stories. But once I went through the nondualism posts, I see no success stories whatsoever. It’s just the same thing “OMG I UNDERSTAND NOW!” “I feel so calm” but never anything related to applying it for something they previously wanted. I get it’s not to “get” something, but I guess it’s just me still wanting proof or something.”

“You're going to see a lot of loa success stories because it is a results based practice, you go into it to achieve something so it's exciting when it shows up "physically!" In Non Dualism, the goal is to stop identifying with ego and realize that who you are is God, consciousness, awareness, etc. You see there's no seperation between you and anything so that means everything you once "desired" is already who you are. You never feel the sense of desire again because of this. So when the anons say they understand now and feel at peace, that is the success story. Any "physical materialization" that happens after will not seem like such a big deal, since it was already who they were to begin with. It's a life changing experience, maybe they are enjoying their newfound freedom and not going on social media as much to share "materialization" success stories, maybe they are just private, who knows. At the end of the day, it's something you are going to have try for yourself. The worst that could happen is not seeing your desires "physically" which is where you may or may not be at already! It's completely up to you 😊” -iamthat-iam

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LAST THOUGHTS

Now looking back at this, the AMOUNT of questions regarding the physical/manifestation is unreal. I am not saying again that it wrong to ask questions of course not !! I do it myself. It just that these questions already been answered by many bloggers. so please guys do your research, read as many blogs, and if it still doesn’t click, then that is when its reasonable to ask. But i feel like many aren’t putting in their part to learn, and just expect to have someone educate/inform them, when there are many MANY resources where you can get informed yourself. So please take your time to grasp it before asking. I rarely ask questions like maybe once or twice but that is because there are so many great blogs that have answered my questions perfectly. I am not saying you have to learn fast but reminding you to take advantage of the amazing resources out there!

Check this out to better understand:

Shoutout to @lains-reality for this wonderful blog !!

I also want this to be shared more!!!:

“Just to add. Usually when we daydream, we are in a state of hopelessly wishing we were that person in the daydream. We are fully immersed in it, while thinking we are the person daydreaming and not the person in the daydream. The simple fact that we call it a "daydream" is a statement that we believe that which we are experiencing in that moment, is but a mere fantasy. So yeah, you can daydream for years, and as long as it's still a daydream, it will remain a daydream... until you dare to identify as the person in the daydream and let go of the daydreamer who can only wish that were them.”

Shoutout to @napolonio for this wonderful input!!!

That is all i got for today. I will continue adding more Q&A by different bloggers when I can ! And as always, Happy non-dualing !

[astroismypassion]

Astrology tea 🍵🍵🍵

Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion

Trigger warning mentions of de**h, d***s

🍵 You know how Sagittarius Sun truly express their feelings? It shimmers through just a bit when they exaggerate a story. If they exaggerate a piece of information, you bet they were very surprised, too stunned to speak at the time it was happening. And them being surprised, shocked often equals exaggeration of a story.

🍵 Try to see where Juno and asteroid Groom overlap. If you have a Cancer Juno, yet Groom at 28 (Cancer degree), it could be a Cancer Sun that ends up proposing you.

🍵 But when you look at your own asteroid Briede (19029) sign, this is the Sun sign YOU might be the most serious about and who you would propose to.

🍵 Cancer Venus always gives a thoughtful, yet small, sometimes a cheap gift that relates to both of you, connects you two. For example you both like drinking tea and they buy you a tea cup and tea bags. Or you both really enjoy vinyl records and they buy you one. It’s always something that connects you two. 😀 You guys are really thoughtful gift-givers!

🍵 Aries Mercury gets really bored of one way of communicating for too long. For example, if you were sending each other audio messages for too long, they will want to change it and do phone call instead or video call etc.

🍵 Gemini Chiron and Gemini Lilith often gets scars, bruises on their fingers, hands. Or they may get skin on their hands, fingers easily burnt when cooking, when starting a fire.

🍵 Virgo over the 5th house might develop a crush on any person that they share the same ideas, viewpoint. If they like someone’s arguments, life philosophy, habits. They might develop a crush on someone when they think “This (wo)/man thinks just like me!”. They could also strongly relate to certain book authors and writers, because of the way they think, they might have a strong liking of their work. They might be prone to cheating mentally, if this would exist. When they are starting to agree more with someone else’s viewpoints, opinions than their partner’s, you might be losing them. 😬

🍵 Sagittarius Suns with Scorpio Mercury are oddly preoccupied with the idea of death and them dying and how they will die. Some have special requests on how they wish to be buried or which song they would like to be played at their funeral.

🍵 I noticed Scorpio Mercury are controversial, but for some reason Taurus Mercury seem to be too. Like Taurus Mercury celebrities Kanye West, Megan Fox, Kristen Stewart, Lena Dunham, Miranda Kerr, Donatella Versace, Abigail Breslin, Cher, Kirsten Dunst, Renée Zellweger. They had some controversial views and opinions throughout years. They are just likely to be canceled on the internet or just really disliked due to jealousy, envy they evoke in others as much as Scorpio Mercury. They could also receive public dislike online.

🍵 If you have Aries Part of Fortune you might find yourself in struggles in life (difficulties in college, financial issues etc.) that not even your family members will be able to advise you on or support you. In times of conflict and stress you will often be alone to find the real courage and strength needed.

🍵 People might not believe Pisces Moon when they say they don’t do drugs. Also, they could experience random drug tests.

🍵 However, also on Pisces Moon: they have weird fascination with psychedelics, yet dislike weed and drugs. Some believe psychedelics could heal their trauma. 🤷🏼‍♀️

🍵 I noticed Aries Moons often have a female sibling. They grew up around strong women in their family who are very independent, unmarried or career driven.

🍵 Sagittarius Sun when younger might have often been the butt of the joke in their friend group. This is one side of Sagittarius Sun that hasn’t been talked enough. People have made fun on their expense often times when their were feeling insecure enough on their own. That’s why they try to not show much emotion, appear unfazed and diffuse things back with humour.

🍵 Aquarius Venus might date their friend, or multiple people until committed or could ghost. But Uranus in the 2nd house?? These guys don’t participate in hookup culture (and rebel against it), don’t entertain multiple people (doesn’t have a roaster), don’t do ghosting.

🍵 Taurus Venus has a love language of gift giving and this is also how they flirt, they just start buying you things or food. Yet, sometimes this can come across trying to buy their loved one’s love. 😬

🍵 Venus in the 6th house looves using hand cream. People compliment them for their soft hands more than they would any other placement.

🍵 Asteroid Kiss sign in the Kiss Persona chart could indicate the Sun sign of the person you will share your first kiss with.

Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion

[coraniaid]

buffy/faith for the ask game

(Reverse unpopular opinions)

Easily my favorite Buffy ship and one of my favorites in any work of fiction. I think the main reasons it works so well for me are:

The way it resonates so strongly with what's going on in the rest of the show the season Faith arrives. I mean, Buffy comes out to her mother (as a Slayer), which is treated by the show as ... well, as Buffy coming out ("it's because you didn't have a strong father figure, isn't it?" / "have you tried ... not being a Slayer?" / "I've tried to march in the Slayer Pride Parade...") and a handful of episodes later Buffy meets another girl who is also a Slayer and who she starts spending a lot of time with (because they have a connection -- "it's kind of a Slayer thing" -- which she doesn't have with her other, non-Slayer friends). And while they're busy patrolling cemeteries and looking for vampires every night, this other Slayer is keen to (1) talk to Buffy about sex and quiz her on her love life; (2) repeatedly tell her that "all men are beasts" and "losers" who can't be trusted; (3) suggest that Buffy should be more open to having sex with the people she spends her nights hunting vampires with (like ... who, Faith?); and (4) is delighted when Buffy breaks up with her boyfriend (and later furious when she gets back together with her previous ex) and immediately suggests that she could replace him ("You're still going to that dance, right? [...] Why don't we go together?"). If this was deliberately laying the ground work for an explicitly romantic arc, it would feel pretty heavy-handed. The fact that it apparently wasn't (at least not on the part of the showrunner or of most of the writers) almost makes it work better, in some ways.

The way that Faith is, from the very beginning, very deliberately written as a foil for Buffy, a person Buffy might have been if things went just a little differently in her life -- because she goes through things very much like things the audience has already seen Buffy go though (living alone in a small place in a strange town with no friends all season the way Buffy did in Anne, panicking and starting to pack to run away in Faith, Hope & Trick in the same way Buffy was accused of doing just the episode before, killing a person the way Buffy thought she had in Season 2's Ted, the way her fear of Kakistos mirrors Buffy's fear of the Master in When She Was Bad) and because she is so aware of the fact that she's always being compared to Buffy and coming up short, either by other people or herself ("you get the Mom, you get the Watcher ... what do I get?") it's very easy to tie Faith's arc across the show back to Buffy and to her feelings about Buffy. Faith wanting Buffy to accept her becomes Faith wanting this idealized version of herself to forgive her failings. And likewise Buffy recriprocating Faith's feelings and admitting to herself that she is attracted to Faith becomes Buffy accepting that Faith (and the things she represents) really are an integral part of Buffy herself; that Faith isn't entirely wrong when she says that Buffy enjoys being a Slayer and that being a Slayer is something she should be proud of (or, again, being "a Slayer").

Apparently this wasn't the original plan for the character (if there ever was anything like an 'original plan'), but the fact Faith's arc in Season 3 so clearly mirrors Angel's in Season 2 -- and the fact she is so very weird about Angel all season (and that Buffy is equally weird about how attracted to Faith she just keeps insisting Angel must be) just naturally suggests that Faith might have a similiar role to Angel in the narrative beyond just the circumstances of her betrayal of (and later not-quite-being-killed by) Buffy. And Angel is -- for the first three seasons of the show at least -- primarily cast in the role of Buffy's doomed tragic love interest who she has to (metaphorically) kill but will later be reunited with. Which makes Faith ... well, something.

Even if not all the writers were on board, the fact that Eliza Dushku was deliberately playing Faith as attracted to Buffy (and that SMG was playing Buffy as alternately frustrated by and protective of and tempted by Faith) gives their scenes together a chemistry that I don't think most of Buffy's (or Buffy's) canon relationships ever managed. Whether that's the Amends porch scene or Buffy kissing Faith in the hospital in Graduation Day or any and all of their various fights across the show. And those fight scenes are all great, which is another thing I love about the ship: is it really a proper enemies-to-lovers arc if one of the people in it hasn't tried to kill the other one and left them in a coma for months?

Faith's return to Buffy in the last five epsiodes of the show is one of the last season's saving graces, and it helps that by this point the writers definitely seemed to be playing up the ship deliberately ("Willow said you needed me: didn't give it a lot of thought" / "Defensiveness and weird mixed signals ... I've got Faith for that" / "Deep down you've always wanted Buffy to accept you. To love you." / "It feels like it's mine ... I guess that means it's yours"). Even without ever being canon and without wandering what happens post-Chosen, it feels like there's a real narrative arc to their relationship, from their initially rocky start through to "just good friends" to bitter enemies through to Faith seeking (and finding) some measure of redemption and Buffy cautiously letting her back into her life. Faith isn't in the show much (or even mentioned in the show in most episodes), but it feels like she has a genuinely meaningful connection to Buffy that most characters who appeaer in less than a season's worth of episodes can't manage.

The thing that made the ship work for me, rewatching the show after several years back in 2020, is the fact that Faith is -- even at her worst -- incredibly sympathetic precisely because she is such a loser and hates herself so much. She boasts about being a great actor despite the fact we see her awkwardly telling the sort of transparent lies that ... well, normally only Buffy manages (compare "There's this big party ..." in Amends to Buffy trying to tell her old crush Ford that "there was a cat ... and then there was another cat, and they were fighting"), she wants people to think she's cool so badly but only manages to fool Xander and Willow, she tries to act as though she's happy without friends but we only ever see her alone sitting watching old tv shows or lying listlessly on her bed, she insists she doesn't need a Watcher and "has a problem with authority figures" but she is so openly desperate for any sort of parental guidance in her life that she sides with first Mrs Post then the Mayor. She ties Buffy's mom up so she can have someone to listen to how sad she is that Buffy's moved on to a new guy in college and "dumped" her. The scene in the church in Who Are You? where Faith-as-Buffy furiously attacks Buffy-as-Faith while screaming through tears that she's "nothing ... disgusting ... murderous bitch" is, I think, a strong contendor for the best scene the show ever produced.

As Doug Petrie said, the reason Faith works as a character -- and the reason that Buffy/Faith works as a ship -- is that Faith is incredibly unhappy. If Faith was the cool loner she tries to pass herself off as -- and which some of the fandom seems to think she is -- the ship wouldn't be nearly as compelling to me. Faith isn't just the part of Buffy who loves Slaying and pushes back when other people give her orders, and she's not just another verison of Angelus. She's the part of Buffy from Becoming who lost everything and ran away from home, only unlike Buffy she never got to go home again. As Angel asked Buffy in that episode: "no friends, no hope ... take that away, what's left?". Well, Faith is what's left. Of course Buffy would see herself in Faith, right from the beginning. Of course Buffy would want to protect her. As Buffy (Sunnydale Class Protector 1999) tells Angel, Faith is in pain ... she's somebody who "some people ... protective-type people" are naturally drawn to. The show is very consistent about the fact that Buffy's type is friendless losers who look good in leather and can fight alongside her in battle (but not quite as well, so she can protect them and look after them when they're hurt). And what bigger loser in the show is there than Faith?