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With all the Iris Murdoch talk around here recently, I read the novel generally said to be her masterpiece, The Sea, the Sea, and have written about it over at my main site. Above is perhaps my favorite passage from the novel, aside from all the descriptions of the eponymous sea, sea. Some footnotes or B-sides to that essay:
I was brought back to Murdoch after having read her earlier novels The Bell and A Severed Head recently because I'd been reading Bellow—Henderson the Rain King—when podcast hype introduced me to Leo Robson’s comparison of Bellow with Murdoch—their shared desire to revive the realist novel after modernism, their preeminence among mid-to-late 20th-century novelists.
Robson also lauds Murdoch for “her prescience” because in her novels, as in our era, “[g]ender is fluid, sexual desire goes in every direction. (She described herself as ‘a male homosexual in female guise’).” There is genuine fluidity of gender and desire in Murdoch, as in her model, Shakespeare, and it would be odd for a novel called The Sea, the Sea not to be liquescent in its metaphysics and psychology. But do we live in a time of gender or sexual fluidity? Is this the impression anyone really receives from the mounting list of soon-to-be legally enforced labels for every conceivable configuration of identity and desire that academia, social media, the corporations, the NGOs, and the GOs are compiling? Do we not rather live in a period of rigidity, an epoch of disabling self-consciousness, bureaucratically coerced self-definition, and brittle political self-assertion?—when, as Murdoch and Shakespeare well knew, one’s true sexual self shows best or even only in moments of half-uttered un-self-consciousness, freely revealed. Pursuant to these speculations, however, my aforementioned perusal of critic Robson’s back catalogue brought me to this passage in an essay on Dostoevsky:
Though you couldn’t exactly call Henry James macho, an element of repression, an almost masculinist sense of etiquette, was crucial to his aesthetics, and Dostoevsky was found wanting for similar reasons to George Sand, George Eliot, and Mrs Oliphant. Dostoevsky’s novels, with their exclusively male heroes consumed in acts of bearded brooding, may seem an unlikely cause for feminist revisionism. But when Angela Carter was asked to identify her favourite woman writer, she cursed herself for naming Emily Brontë (“who’s pure butch”) because, as she told a friend, “if one is talking about these qualities of sensitivity, vulnerability and perception traditionally ascribed by male critics to female novelists”, Dostoevsky was “the greatest feminine writer who’s ever lived”. (In this context, Lawrence was “infinitely more feminine than Jane Austen”; she later wrote that he made Colette look like Cassius Clay.) At one point, Raskolnikov laments, “I’m so sad, so sad! As if I was a woman... honestly!”, and it seems possible that James was simply embarrassed by the romantic tenor of Dostoevsky’s fiction, which trades in pounding hearts and burning gazes, in characters who fall into hysterics or run shrieking into the night, and in feelings of world-historical extremity (“Rarely, if ever, had anyone carried away so much venomous hatred in his heart as this man nursed against Raskolnikov”).
Despite the silliness of Carter’s categories, many of the standout Dostoevskian writers, such as Sylvia Plath, Patricia Highsmith and Joyce Carol Oates, were not only female but belonged to a national tradition on easier terms with extroversion, maximalism and Gothic psychodrama, the same tradition James had rejected in his study of Hawthorne – and in his life – and that Lawrence celebrated in his Studies in Classic American Literature.
We've been on this beat for a while here at Grand Hotel Abyss. For those keeping track, we have established that Hemingway, Lawrence, and now Dostoevsky were trans women; Colette and Austen (don't forget George Eliot) were trans men, along, I assume, with Dame Iris. Henry James was apparently not trans—he was just too incorrigibly manly in the end, unlike Hemingway. I have it on good authority that this influencer will soon claim the major western novelists not only to have been trans, but to have been, in addition, Korean… In the meantime, read Iris Murdoch!
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You'll need a boutonniere. Actress Kathryn Harrold is 66.
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Unlike most artists who visit the Garden stage as an opener, Springsteen's refusal to open for other artists (after disastrous experiences doing so) meant he'd only been there once before, as an opener for Chicago in 1973, before he'd put his policy into effect.
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36: Reset (Joe Mazzello x Y/N)
Summary: His 36th birthday a recent memory, Joe is eager to reset himself with a positive focus on his future. Taking care of his precious nieces leads him into a situation that may change his future – and help him realize his dream of having a family.
A/N: I love picturing Joe as a loving husband and dad and wrote this after Joe’s 36th birthday. Recently I wrote Y/N’s version of this story: 36: Half Full. Joe’s family members are written as fictional characters. Any likeness to his real family are unintentional and coincidental. Song lyrics that came to me while writing are bolded and referenced at the end.
Warnings: Fluff, Angst and brief references to a deceased parent, masturbation and Joe as Daddy (!) and a drop of swearing
Joe threw three days of clothing into a duffle bag and took a stab at being grateful. His 36th birthday coincided with the reality that he was between jobs, between relationships and plagued with a little too much uncertainty for his taste. He needed a new narrative, a reset – and a jolt of positivism.
‘Here goes,’ he thought. Being in between gigs allowed him to care for his adoring nieces fairly regularly over the last few months. And now, he’d be staying with them while his sister and her husband attended a wedding. This was a gig he knew well and particularly as of late, cherished. Since his dad died, he found comfort and stability in those two little girls: Josephine, Josie, his dad’s namesake, a growing toddler of 15 months, and Jessie, a highly articulate and bright second-grade graduate. The loss of his dad still stung, but from it was born this intimacy and his solidified dream that now more than ever, he was destined to be a father, with his own loving father as a role model. But for now, the role of beloved uncle would have to do.
He climbed the steps of the stately brownstone and let himself in, bellowing “Hellooooo,” which cascaded up the high ceilings and the floors above. In an instant, he heard a sound that made him feel whole and gave him solace like no other. “UNCLE JOOOOOOEEEEEE,” Jessie ran to him with a huge smile and outstretched arms, and he swooped her up into a big hug. Teetering toward him was Josie, a broad smile on her face, Joe’s sister Patty, trailing behind.
“Jojo!!” Josie said, followed by gibberish. “You said my name??!!” Joe exclaimed happily. He was amazed. Only last week, she didn’t try to say his name. Joe leaned down, perching Jessie on his knee and bringing Josie in for a hug. “My two best girls,” he cooed, bending to kiss each of them.
“Ok, Girls, give me a few minutes with Joe. I have a lot of instructions to go over.” You’ll have him to yourselves for three days soon enough.Joe’s sister, Patty said. “YAY!!!” Jessie yelled jumping up and down, the embodiment of youthful enthusiasm.
“Hey, Joe,” his sister said warmly, as she removed Josie from him and put her on the floor. “Jessie, watch your sister.” She turned to Joe. “Let me walk you through everything.”
“Ok,” Joe said, adding, “I feel pretty well versed, I mean, I’ve been babysitting them and…”
Patty cut him off. “I know. But this is the big league. Every moment. Lots of details. You usually get them at their best and then you can walk away. Let’s start in the kitchen.”
Patty had all the meals and snacks listed in detail, as well a grocery list. “And make sure Josie ONLY gets Stonyfield Farms YO-BABY yogurts!” she implored. It was indeed a house of many yogurts. “Here’s Jessie’s water bottle for camp,” she pointed to it on the counter.
“YO, PATTY, I got it,” Joe said, containing a smirk, and glancing at the pile of papers. The family recipe for nachos-really? He could make them in his sleep.
They proceeded upstairs to the bedrooms where Joe was schooled in Josie’s daytime and bedtime routines (which he knew) and Jessie’s camp routine. “And be sure to hang the bathing suit EVERY NIGHT so it dries COMPLETELY!!” Joe loved his sister deeply, but at that moment his tensed his mouth to avoid responding cattily, “No, I think I’ll leave the wet suit in the bag so it smells gross and is damp for her the next day.”
“Sure, Sure,” he uttered lightly instead.
Fortunately, Joe was saved by the bell in the form of Peter, a strapping accountant with a penchant for murder mysteries, working out – and getting on the road.
“Come on Patty. Quit torturing him before he runs out of here screaming. He can text us. And by the way, he’s been helping out a lot this summer. I told you I wanted to get on the road by 6:00. It’s 6:15. Let’s go.” Peter hefted a suitcase and bounded down the steps. Joe gave him an appreciative nod.
“Go,” Joe said gently to Patty. “We will be fine. I’m looking forward to it. Pete’s right. I’ll text you if I need anything. You guys have a great time away together.”
“I know. I’m sorry to be a nut. I’m just - well. It’s hard to unwind. And so much to keep track of. You’ll see when you’re doing it all-work, family….” She sighed and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for doing this.” She went to pack a few final things before Peter came to collect her suitcase.
With a kiss to the girls, Patty and Peter hit the road. “OK, who’s ready to show me some bath toys?” Joe said as he closed the door behind them. “I am!” Jessie bounded upstairs to the bathroom, with Joe carrying Josie behind her.
The next morning was Friday. and Joe arose early. He prepared breakfast, packed lunches, put away random toys and checked the shopping list. He woke and dressed the girls, collected Jessie’s backpack and threw in her lunch and bathing suit. After brushing their teeth, he stuffed his own backpack with snacks, lunch, diapers, and wipes, and threw a towel and water toys and sunblock in the stroller basket. He hoisted Josie and grabbed the stroller, and ushered Jessie out the door, which he locked behind him. He ran through a checklist in his mind hoping he remembered everything. He had to admit, Patty was right-it really was a lot of details to manage-along with the constant banter with two young people, eager for expression and interaction as their worlds unfolded with each new day.
They walked half a mile as the summer sun warmed the city pavement. They entered the YMCA that housed Jessie’s camp and proceeded to a large gym where groups of kids gathered by age. Jessie ran to a woman who was waving to her. She had a warm smile and wore a neatly pressed shirt and capri pants with sneakers. She seemed to be taking in everyone-campers, caregivers, staff, while answering questions and ensuring everything was running smoothly. Carrying a clipboard and an array of keys on a lanyard around her neck, she looked very official.
“Hi, Jessie,” she greeted Joe’s oldest niece. “Hi, Josie,” she added bending slightly and peering into the stroller.
“Hi, Y/N, this is my Uncle Joe. He’s taking care of us while my parents are at Cousin Carol’s wedding in…” Jessie provided a litany of details as Joe and Y/N looked at each other and laughed. When Jessie paused, Joe extended his hand. “I’m Joe, nice to meet you.” He suddenly felt awkward. Should he have presented himself more formally, more guardian-like? She smiled. “Hi, Joe. Patty wrote a note saying you’d be helping with the girls. That’s so nice. I’m Y/N/Z, the Assistant Director of the camp. If you need anything please let me know. Jessie is a wonderful camper!” She winked at Jessie who smiled.
Now there’s a woman who knows how to introduce herself, Joe thought. And she’s pretty and warm.
“Thanks,” Joe said, as Y/N turned to speak with a parent. Joe hugged Jessie. “You have your lunch and water bottle?” Joe suddenly felt panicked. “Oh, Crap! I forgot your water bottle. Should I bring it?”
“It’s ok. I’ll use the fountain.” Jessie said.
He appreciated her flexibility, but his inner voice said, “parenting fail!” He thought Patty would freak if she knew. “Good plan. Thanks for being flexible. Have a great day. We’ll see you at 4:00.”
Jessie walked toward her counselor and friends. Joe leaned down to check on Josie who was sitting comfortably in her stroller playing with a toy. “Playground?” he asked. “Pway” she responded, and he gave her a kiss on her leg.
As he headed out, he noticed Y/N on the side, speaking with some counselors. She was really pretty. Really together. He wondered what she did when camp ended. She certainly must like kids, he thought. As Joe reached the exit, still watching her, she turned and waved to him. He waved back with a smile.
Joe and Josie headed to the playground for a morning of water sprinklers, swings, and monkey bars. He followed her around, speaking to her and encouraging her to play with other children. Josie handed another girl her ball. “Say thank you,” the woman with the child said to her. “Very nice, Josie.” Joe praised. Josie suddenly began to get winey, and Joe sensed that she needed to eat before she melted down. “C’mon, let’s have lunch.”
They ambled over to the shady bench, and Joe changed her diaper and washed their hands with a wipe. Then he set out their lunch and they ate turkey sandwiches, the very popular Yo-Baby Yogurt and cut-up peaches, which were perfectly sweet and juicy, symbolic of summer. They sipped water from a bottle, taking turns. After lunch Joe cleaned up. and Josie played a little more. But the sun was at its peak, and Josie was fading. “Let’s go home for a nap.” Joe said as he picked her up. His phone pinged with a text from Patty. “How is everything?” “Great, just taking Josie home from PG for a nap.”
Joe lugged everything – including Josie and himself - up the steps and into the house. He had to admit he was tired. He dropped the stroller and backpack and carried Josie up the steps. She wrapped her arms around Joe’s neck and leaned into him. When he got to her room, he realized she was asleep. He didn’t want to put her down. He sat in the rocking chair and put his feet up on the ottoman. He felt soothed as he held her against his chest. He closed his eyes and without being aware, he dozed. An image of Y/N came to him. It was he fall She was in a flowing dress, cinched at the waist, a blazer and heels. He was dressed in dark jeans and a leather jacket. They kissed and walked hand-in-hand down the street, chatting and laughing.
He was jarred awake by his phone ringing. Ben! He picked it up. “Hey, Buddy-give me a minute!”. He put the phone on the ottoman, got up carefully and laid Josie in her crib gently, moving the stuffed animals away and covering her with the light blanket. He slipped off her sandals and left them on the changing table as grabbed his phone, walking out of the room.
“Hey, Ben.” he said.
“Hey-how’s your 36th year treating you so far?” came the response.
“So far, so good. I’m taking care of the girls for the weekend. Patty and Pete are at a wedding. It makes me realize that I want to have kids. Really badly. Like more than before. If I can’t get it together by my next birthday, I’m going to get a surrogate and do it that way. On my own.“
“Whoa, that sounds really extreme. Isn’t that where you have to jerk off into a cup? You don’t even get to have any fun? Wait: Bet you’d meet a smart, pretty and mature woman on Tumblr who’d gladly assist ---try that first. “ Ben laughed. Joe was annoyed, feeling Ben didn’t see how important this was to him. Joe didn’t want to continue the discussion.
“That’s not the point,” he said curtly. “Moving on, you ok?
“Yeah, yeah, still filming this bloody movie. We should wrap in a few weeks.”
“Finally! Let me call you next week. I got to get Josie ready so we can pick up Jessie and shop for dinner.”
“You really are Domestic Daddy, aren’t you?” Ben laughed again.
“I hope so. One day.” Joe replied softly.
“Seriously. Those girls are lucky to have you. You’re an amazing Uncle. And you’ll be a super dad.” Ben said.
They ended the call warmly, and Joe checked himself in the mirror. He looked like he had been in the hot park running after a toddler most of the day and thought that should be addressed-before he saw Y/N again. He changed his shirt and freshened up. He went to the nursery and saw Josie stirring.
“Hey big girl. You ready to get up and see your sister?” He lifted her out of her crib, still sleepy and laid her on changing table and changed her diaper, shirt and shorts. He kissed her feet and she giggled. He buckled her sandals and took her downstairs.
He filled up the water bottle. ‘Ok, we are ready to roll.” He scooped her up with the stroller and they were on their way.
They arrived at camp a little early. He wheeled Josie in and saw Jessie playing her favorite game, Chinese checkers, with a young counselor. Josie was getting restless and he let her out of the stroller, following her as she walked around.
“Hi, Joe.” It was Y/N, still looking fresh after a full day. She bent down to Josie. “Did you have fun in the playground with Uncle Joe?”
“Fun Un JoJo!” she responded as she toddled around and clapped her hands.
Y/N laughed and turned to him. “A standing ovation. I’m impressed.”
“Ha, well, we had fun, but I have to say, it was tiring. And I’m just watching one! Amazing you look so, uh, calm after running the show here. “ Joe said admirably.
“I’m a third-grade teacher so I’m used to it,” Y/N said. “I’m working on my admin degree so I can be a Principal one day. This gives me good practice,” She said.
“Wow, that’s impressive,” Joe said sincerely. His eyes followed Josie who was headed toward her big sister. Joe followed, with Y/N behind, stopping to check in on various groups.
“Hi Uncle Joe. I’m winning,” Jessie said, self-satisfied.
“Creaming me is more like it,” the Counselor said.
“Well, that’s great, but be a good sport about it,” Joe said pointedly to Jessie. “It’s important to have fun and tell her it was a good game-no matter who wins.”
A counselor came by with an ice pop. She asked Joe. “Would she like one?” “Sure, thanks,” Joe said, as he unwrapped the watermelon flavored pop and took a bite. It was refreshing and quite tasty. He offered some to Josie, who nibbled on it, and it started to drip. He took his backpack off and unzipped it with a flourish, retrieving a napkin to wipe her up.
Meanwhile, as the counselor planned her move, Jessie eyed Y/N, who had sidled up next to her. “Y/N, did you know Uncle Joe is a FAMOUS MOVIE STAR?” she bellowed.
Joe felt the red rising from his neck to his face and he was pretty sure he was creating a new addition to the Crayola 64 pack. Fucking Embarrassed Red. Kids really do say the darndest things. He bent his head down focusing on getting the pop into Josie with minimal mess.
“Wow, interesting,” Y/N responded, playing it cool. “And he’s a GREAT UNCLE!”
“Who is successfully making a mess with this pop,” he retorted, wiping his mouth and giving Josie another wipe, before she took off for the crafts table. One of the counselors hoisted Josie on the bench and set her up with some crayons and paper. “You sure?” Joe said not wanting to be a burden. “Oh, not a problem,” the counselor said cheerily.
Joe looked behind him for Y/N, who had vanished. He wanted to ask her out. He knew he had a brief window of opportunity, before he took the girls home. This would be the last time he’d see her. He looked around hoping she’d dart back into the gym. Meanwhile, he moved to Jessie who was close to winning the game. After a few minutes, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a changed Y/N. He turned to take all of her all in. She was wearing a flowery sundress with wide straps and a deep neckline that accentuated her figure. Her sneakers were replaced with heeled strappy sandals She looked really lovely. You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you. (1) He didn’t want to take his eyes from her. His plan to approach her was interrupted by Josie waddling over to him and Jessie and the counselor yelling ‘Good Game!”
“C’mon girls,” Joe headed quickly to retrieve the stroller near where Y/N was bidding good-bye to parents.
“You look…nice,” Joe said, trying to sound neutral. “Big night out?” He wondered if she had a date.
“Thank you.” Her faced flushed. “I’m meeting some of my college friends. One just got engaged and another is expecting.” “Lots to celebrate.” Joe said, relived she wasn’t off to a date.
“Yeah,” she said wistfully. “You know, life in the 30’s.”
‘Uh, yeah,” Joe uttered. Suddenly Joe turned, distracted by the girls. He took a deep breath and leaned down. Jessie, can you help Josie into her stroller, please,” Joe said, hoping Jessie would bring it home for him to let this moment unfold. I can't be contented with yesterday's glory. I can't live on promises winter to spring. Today is my moment, now is my story. (2) Turning to Y/N he said, “Y/N, I was wondering, if, uh, one day, you might want to grab dinner.” He said. He held his breathe. She looked at him. “I’d love that. Here, let me give you my number.” She hastily wrote on a paper in her clipboard and gave it to him and he smiled.
He turned to Jessie who was helping Josie into her stroller. “Thanks,” he said, giving her a big smile. “You’re such a good helper. I really appreciate it.”
“Great,” Joe said to Y/N. I’ll probably need 2 days to recover after my sister gets back,” He laughed. I’ll text you. Maybe we can get together next weekend?
“That should work,” she said. “Bye…” her voice trailed off, as a counselor interrupted.
“Have fun tonight,” he called after her, with a brightness in his voice and a spring in his step. He turned the stroller and grabbed Jessie’s hand. “Bye, Y/N” Jessie called. “You like Y/N don’t you,” Jessie said to Joe. Kid didn’t miss a thing. “She seems really nice. Ok. Dinner.” said Joe, changing the topic. “How about we go to the supermarket for nachos ingredients.” When they arrived home, Joe headed to the kitchen, unpacked the groceries and started cooking dinner as the girls watched Dora the Explorer. “UNCLE JOE,” Jessie yelled. “Josie smells!! “Oh crap,” Joe uttered to himself. “literally. WTF, I am in the middle of dinner.” He asked Jessie to hang up her wet swimsuit before he addressed the diaper. . The evening ended with a yummy dinner, The Lion King and a few bedtime stories, which Joe read in a few voices, eliciting giggles from the girls.
Their fun-packed Saturday featured excursions to the Farmer’s market, library and small zoo. After a Thai food dinner, the three of them headed to bed early, exhausted.
Joe woke too early on Sunday. The girls would sleep another hour. His sister and Peter would return in the afternoon. Thoughts swirled through his head non-stop, even before he mobilized himself to make coffee. His first thought was that they could make pancakes; the girls could pour batter into cookie cutter shapes set in the pan. His second thought was ‘Wow, Ben was right, I really am Domestic Daddy.’ His third thought was Y/N. He wondered if she told her friends about him-that she was looking forward to their date. He wondered….Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend in your wildest dreams. (3). He rolled over and pulled the soft blanket up to his neck, willing to give sleep another try. He drifted off and saw Y/N in his dream. It was winter and they were both bundled in jackets and scarves, holding hands and walking fast, dodging the cold.
“Two, at least,” she said. “What do you think?”
“For sure.” Joe said and he turned to her and stopped. “Well, now that that’s set, we should think about a wedding date first.” They laughed.
He suddenly felt a warm body climbing on him and he opened his eyes. “I’m hungry.” a sleepy Jessie said. Joe rolled over moving her next to him. “Good morning. Me too. How about pancakes. In cookie cutter shapes?”
“Yay!” Jessie responded. “I know where mom keeps them.”
“Great. I’ll meet you downstairs with Josie.”
She ran out, and Joe collected himself as he rolled out of bed. He felt positive and hopeful. Bring on 36!
SONG NOTES
1. Can’t take my eyes off of you, Frankie Valli
2. Today, John Denver
3. Wildest Dreams, Taylor Swift
#joe mazzello x reader#joe mazzello x y/n#joe mazzello#dad!joe#joe mazzello fanfic#bohemian rhapsody fanfic#borhap fan fiction#joe mazzello fluff#joe mazzello angst
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Detroit: Become Human Ralph x Reader [4]
The scenario for this one shot is:
How did Ralph become damaged?
⚠️MENTIONS OF ABUSE⚠️
Most of this chapter will be Ralph talking in first person. I hope you all enjoy! Love you all!!!
••••••••••••••••
~(Y/n)'s POV~
"Maybe we should try going on a trip for our second anniversary," I suggest as my boyfriend, Gabe, and I sat at the kitchen table.
The man shook his head with a scrunched up face. "Nah, not a fan of traveling."
"You've got to be kidding me..." I mutter under my breath.
Our conversation was interrupted as Ralph, our WR600 android, entered the kitchen with a bundle of chrysanthemums in his hands from the garden on the veranda.
Gabe rolled his eyes in annoyance and crossed his arms. "Get outta here, ya shitty android."
I smacked him on the arm. "Don't talk to him like that, Gabe." Then, I directed a smile at Ralph. "Those are lovely, Ralph. Your hard work has definitely paid off."
"I'm glad you like them, (Y/n)," the machine answered, his programmed smile appearing. "I'll put them in a vase and place them on the coffee table to brighten up the living room."
"We don't need anymore flowers, ya daft hunk of wires," Gabe scoffs.
I sent a harsh glare in his direction. "Stop belittling his work!"
Gabe slammed his hands on the table, his own glare much sharper than mine. "Don't dare yell at me, (Y/n)!" I flinched at Gabe's bellowing voice. I didn't meet his heated gaze and turned my head in Ralph's direction. From here, I saw his LED was red.
Before I could speak up, pain erupted in my right cheek and I fell out of the chair. The only sound that I heard was when my body collided with the frigid tiles of the kitchen floor. In complete shock, I kept my wide (e/c) eyes glued to the floor. "You care more about this damn android than your own boyfriend!"
I remained silent as Ralph came to my side and placed a gentle and caring hand on my back. The sound of the wooden chair scraping against the tile was all I heard as a sign Gabe had left the kitchen. Completely frozen at the slap, Ralph took it upon himself to get me a bag of ice for my swollen cheek.
I wasn't sure how long I had been on the floor until Ralph returned and helped me back into my seat. He pulled out the chair next to me and pressed the bag of ice against my red cheek. "Why, (Y/n)?"
I met his gaze, never having heard him question anything. "What is it, Ralph?"
"Why do you still take this abuse?"
"I... I don't know. I want to believe deep down that I love Gabe, but I think my love for him has run dry."
Ralph fell silent, applying the ice with more pressure. My gaze fell to the floor, not being able to look at the android any longer.
After a few minutes, I meekly thanked Ralph and took the bag of ice before wandering around the apartment to find Gabe. I found him sitting on the bed in our bedroom with his head resting in his hands. When he heard me enter, his head shot up and I saw the tears building up in the corner of his eyes. "I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I-I didn't—"
"Gabe, do you love me?"
"Why would you ask me such a stupid question? Of course I love you!"
"Every time this happens, you always apologize and I just feel like you aren't sincere. You always end up slapping me again and it's the same process over and over again. My forgiveness is running out."
Gabe sighed, tearing his eyes away from me. "I understand if you want to leave and I won't stop you, (Y/n)."
"I'm not leaving, Gabe. It's just... very tempting because of these fallouts we keep having."
"Then, you'll stay?"
"For now. But, if this happens again, I can't make any promises."
He nods with a smile. "I understand." I nod in silence and leave the bedroom.
Wandering into the living room, I watched as Ralph placed the beautiful flowers in a glass vase and sat them in the center of the coffee table. "Y'know, winter's coming and we haven't picked up any new flowers. What do you think about getting a few hellebores?"
"They'll grow well during the winter," Ralph smiles.
"Then, it's settled! We'll pick up new flowers tomorrow and you're coming with me."
"But, (Y/n)—"
"No 'buts', Ralph. You're coming with me so you can pick out your favorite, too. You are the one who takes care of the garden, after all. The least I could do is let you pick your favorite flowers."
For some odd reason, his LED flashed yellow before returning to normal. Dismissing it, I smile at Ralph and place my hand over his. The android smiled, wrapping his fingers around mine. "I'd like that."
-Next Morning-
"Alright, ready to go, Ralph?" I ask, putting on my heavy jacket that I knew would counter the bone-chilling breeze of the winter that was slowly creeping up on Detroit.
He nods with a smile. "Yes, (Y/n)."
Just then, Gabe emerged from the bedroom door. He raised a brow when he saw the two of us were standing at the front door. "Where are you two heading?"
"To Aurora's Nursery to buy flowers for the winter," I stated stoically.
"Do you really have to take that thing with you?" He scoffed, glaring at Ralph.
"Ralph is coming with me because he is the gardener. Unlike you, he actually does something around here. Now, if you'll excuse us, we'll be back soon."
"Hey, (Y/n)—!"
"Bye, Gabe." I open the door and pull Ralph out of the apartment before slamming it shut behind us.
-Aurora's Nursery-
Ralph wandered around the enormous nursery, examining flowers left and right. I had a couple of hellebores in my hand and watched him with a huge smile plastered to my face. This was the first time I've ever seen him have so much fun. I recognized the emotion as happiness, which confused me to some extent. Ever since Gabe had snapped at me the previous night, Ralph had been expressing different emotions I've never seen an android express. I wanted to ask him if he had broken protocol and had become deviant without me knowing, but I would save that question for later.
Ralph returned with snowdrops in his hands. The beautiful white petals that created a snowy bell-like image as the flower was drooping was a beautiful sight, indeed, and would look breathtaking in the garden. Though the apartment was small, the veranda was roomy and provided enough space for Ralph and his garden.
"Ready to go?" I ask.
He nods and I pay for the hellebores and snowdrops. With the flowers in our grasps, we walk back to the apartment with smiles etched across our faces.
Ralph held the door for me and I thanked him. I noticed the fireplace was lit and the wood crackled as we walked through the living room. We took the flowers to the veranda and sat them down in the small garden area Ralph had made himself from simple materials I had bought him years ago.
Then, Gabe wandered out the sliding glass door, a scowl present on his face. "Do we honestly need a garden?"
"Yes, we do. I enjoy flowers and it's not this is your apartment. I'm the one who pays the bills, not you," I snap.
"Hey, you know I've been trying to find a job!"
"No, you haven't! You've been sitting on your ass and lazing around here!"
"Well, unlike you, I didn't get a CEO position handed to me from my father!"
"Oh, please! I worked my ass off to get that position! My dad may be the president of the company, but that doesn't mean shit when he treats me like a normal employee! I worked my way to becoming a CEO without my father's influence, you asshole!"
After my final lashing, we both fell silent. Ralph stood next to me, completely shocked at the sudden outburst between me and Gabe. Something inside me suddenly snapped and my glare grew even more heated as my eyes never left my boyfriend. "I'm so done with you, Gabe. Pack your shit and leave. I'm done with all of this abuse."
His jaw fell to the floor, surprised at my sudden proclamation. "You can't—!"
"Yes, I can. You're a deadbeat and nothing but an asshole. Grab your shit and get out."
Gabe cursed me under his breath as he left the veranda and headed back inside. I placed a hand on my head as I sat down in a chair beside the garden. Ralph kneeled in front of me, his worried gaze trained on me. "(Y/n)..."
"I'm fine. I just... need a few minutes to calm down."
After I took a few deep breaths, Gabe returned with a fire iron in his hand and a malicious glint in his eyes. "Gabe, what the hell are you doing?"
"Getting rid of the problem," he said, eyes glued on Ralph.
I quickly stood up and placed myself in front of the android. "He's not the problem. The only problem here is you! Get out before I call the cops!"
Gabe didn't acknowledge my shouting as he raised the poker and pushed me aside. Before I could recover, the man swung the hot, sharp piece of iron at Ralph. The android was struck directly on the cheek, sending him to the ground. I tackled Gabe before he could strike again and punched him in the jaw, knocking him out cold. I scrambled to get my phone out of my pocket and called the police. Moving off of my now ex's body, I went to Ralph's aid and saw he wasn't waking up. "Ralph?"
Staring into his wide, lifeless eyes, I bit my lip in fear and dialed the nearest CyberLife store. The manager told me to bring in Ralph as soon as possible to assess the damage after I told her what happened and hung up.
The police finally arrived ten minutes later and arrested Gabe. Once they dealt with the unconscious man, I dragged Ralph's body to the car and placed him in the back seat. Not heeding the speed limit, I speed to the store and hand the android over to the manager. She takes him to the back and another employee told me it would take a few hours to repair Ralph. I decided to wait in the store, watching as people bought androids left and right.
-Three Hours Later-
"Miss (L/n)?" I snapped my gaze upwards, spotting the manager. She smiled softly at me as she pointed to the repair room behind the counter. "Your WR600 model has been repaired, but..."
"What is it?" I ask.
"The burn damage to the plastic is untreatable and a fraction of its software is fried beyond repair. Besides that, it's in working condition and should be able to perform its normal duties."
"That's good to hear. How much do I owe for repairs?"
"Two hundred." I hand her my credit card from my jacket pocket. She swipes the card using her tablet and hands it back to me. "Alright. We'll send your android out at once."
"Thank you."
The door to the repair room flew open and revealed Ralph. He frantically searched the store until his eyes landed on me and he rushed to my side. Wrapping his arms around me, Ralph held me tightly. "Is (Y/n) injured?"
"No. I'm alright, Ralph." I placed my hands gently on his back, hugging him back.
"Ralph is happy to know (Y/n) isn't hurt."
I pull away, my eyes falling onto his damaged cheek. "Let's go home."
-Apartment-
The moment we set foot in the living room, Ralph dashed to the veranda and began planting the flowers we had bought earlier today. I smiled as he grabbed his tools and worked in silence with a huge smile on his face. Parched from all the yelling that only happened a few hours ago, I head into the kitchen and get a glass of water. The wine that rested on the counter caught my eye, but I decided not to drink myself into a stupor over an asshole like Gabe.
As I downed the water, Ralph entered the kitchen as I filled the cup once more. There was dirt on his undamaged cheek and I giggled with a smile. "Sit down, Ralph, and let me clean the dirt off your cheek." He nods and sits down at the table, shaking his knees up and down. I wetted a paper towel and wiped the dirt off his face. "There. Now you're clean."
Suddenly, the android spoke and said words I never expected to hear. "Ralph loves (Y/n). Will... Will (Y/n) stay with Ralph?"
I placed the cup of water and paper towel down. "I'd never leave you." The android leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. His head rested on my stomach as he remained sitting in the chair when he hugged me. I placed my hands gently on his back, hugging him gently. I looked down to see Ralph had a peaceful smile carved on his face. I leaned down, placing a kiss on top of his head. "I love you, too, Ralph."
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Plagg/Adrien Bodyswap
Chat Noir always found himself breathless when he looked over the streets of Paris. The architecture was magnificent, the stores and pedestrians brought so much life and the road rage of some drivers was always amusing. The soft breeze tickled Chat as he stared from atop the Eiffel Tower and onto the city. The lights and magic of Ladybugs miraculous danced around, healing and returning the city as it was before. His hands clenched around a cool railing that was manufactured to stop a person from falling, though this wasn't the reason the green eyed teenager held it so tight. He gritted his teeth and furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance.
Ladybug had done all the work as usual. She was so amazingly brave and talented she basically took on any akuma by herself. This wasn't the thing that bothered him so much, it was the fact he was utterly useless. He hadn't even used his cataclysm and it felt like he had only got in his partner’s way.
How many times had she pushed him away, told him to stop making puns or mess about? The things it seemed he was only good at was clearly not accepted.
"Chat Noir? Are you okay?" He felt the soft touch of Ladybugs hand on his shoulder and he immediately relaxed. He turned to her and smiled, melting at the sight of her bluebell eyes.
"I am now that you're here." He said smoothly, grinning. The corner of Ladybugs lips curled and she opened her mouth to reply before she was cut off by her earrings. She pouted as she raised her right hand to her ear. Chat Noir had to look away, his heart pumping against his chest, his partners adorable pout imprinted in his mind and short circuiting his brain.
"Guess I better split, wouldn't want to let the cat out of the bag." She laughed softly. Chat Noir turned to look at her again, his cheeks dusted with pink and wearing a smile as wide as the horizon.
"Did you just-"
"Don't make me regret it, kitty." She leaned in, paralysing Chat Noir. His bell bellow his collar chimed before Ladybug backed away spinning her yoyo.
"Bye, Chat!" She called before swinging away leaving the blonde superhero a stuttering mess.
***
Adrien Agreste paced his large room with a determined look on his face.
"That's it, on now on, i'm going to be the best partner Ladybug could ever dream of!" He balled his fist as he paced.
"Whatever you say kid." His Kwami, Plagg rolled his eyes as he nibbled on his favourite food.
"I won't be useless, nope. I'll be Ladybug's knight, ready at her disposal."
"That doesn't sound healthy." Plagg replied.
When the next akuma attacked Paris, Adrien transformed and raced towards the scene with his head held high. However he left with his tail between his legs.
His classmate and best friend Chloe showed up, claiming to be a new super hero called Queen Bee. She stole the spotlight and surprisingly worked extremely well with Ladybug.
"You're actually really talented, Queen Bee. Glad to see you joining the team!" She exclaimed, completely ignoring her original partner.
Adrien sighed as he collapsed on his bed. "Why am I so useless?" He whined.
Plagg groaned, sick of his holders complaining. Sure he loved the kid, but it was so frustrating hearing the kid complain about stupid things. He was clearly not useless but of course Mr insecure Model over there didn't see that.
"Life sucks." Adrien moaned into his pillow.
Plaggs lips curled as an idea danced around his mind. He glanced at the whining teenager as a smirk formed on his lips.
He flew over to him, almost cackling. It'll be easy to get this to work.
"Look kid, I have an easy solution." Plagg told him as calmly as he possibly could. Adrien jumped up as his eyes widened and his lips spread across his face.
"You do?!" He yelled happily. The desperation and hope on the boy almost made Plagg feel guilty.
"I can grant you more power. Then whoosh, you're suddenly the mvp."
"Really?! You can do that?" Adrien jumped off his bed and stood up straight.
"Easy. Though it does drain me." He added just to make it sound believable. Oh this was too easy.
"Its almost as if you're transforming, just a different phrase. Just repeat after me." Plagg sighed.
"What is it!" Adrien's eyes widened as held held his breath, careful to not miss his Kawami's words.
"Plagg, body swap!"
"Plagg, body swap! Wait, what?!"
Plagg cackled as he got sucked into Adrien's miraculous. The blonde haired boy’s eyes widened as he realised what he had said. Nothing had happened for about two seconds, before Plagg was spat out of the miraculous and Adrien's face expression turned to pure glee.
Adrien felt an overwhelming wave of dizziness. It seemed the world had spun and grew. The walls seemed to stand taller and- Adrien screamed. He saw his own body, cackling like a manic. Adrien found himself suddenly on his own bed, camembert in hand.
"Plagg, Plagg! What happened?" He cried.
Adrien watched in horror as his body stood over him, green eyes gleaming with mischief.
"Just as you commanded, Adrien. Body swap." Plagg spoke through Adrien's body. Even his voice sounded like himself!
Adrien tried to get a grip of the situation as Plagg began running around the room, touching random objects and climbing things. Using Adrien's body of course.
"Wow! This is awesome!"
Adrien glanced down in disgust. He screamed again learning he had no fingers or toes. He had never thought one day he'd actually yearn the feeling to be able to bend your fingers individually. Now.. how to move?
Adrien winced as he heard a thump come from behind him,
"Ouch! Guess I can't fly." Plagg groaned, slowly getting up from the floor.
"What the hell! Of course you- I can't! Haven't you learnt anything from living with me?!" Adrien face palmed at Plagg's stupidity.
'Hey! I can fetch my own camembert now!" Plagg grinned, ignoring Adrien. Plagg sprinted for the door.
"Wait no!" Adrien had just learned how to fly as Plagg collided with the door with an "oof."
"Hey! Treat my body with respect, you, you, you savage!" Adrien yelled, flying over to check on Plagg.
Plagg laid sprawled in front of the door. Adrien's breath hitched when Plagg didn't move. Did he just knock himself out?
Adrien felt his previous body's face, heart pounding.
"Oh. I can't go through walls." Plagg just whispered, still not moving. Adrien hovered above his face, glaring.
"I swear, Plagg. You better return our bodies or-"
"I can work around it!" Plagg cried completely ignoring Adrien, yet again. He stood up, grabbing the door handle and racing outside Adrien's room. Adrien flew after him, barely keeping up.
"Plagg, no!" He screamed after him. He thanked every god he knew that no one else was home except for the Gorilla. He prayed his body guard was partially deaf. Or on the other side of the mansion.
"You're not meant to be seen, remember!" Plagg replied as he slowed down, clearly lost in the mansion.
"By the way, where's the kitchen?" Plagg scratched his forehead. Adrien yelled profanities in reply.
"When i'm back to normal i'm going to kill you, you stupid cat!" He flew right through Plagg, a gasp escaping his lips.
"What?! How do you control this whole going through stuff?!" Adrien's voice cracked.
"Hmm, think it's this way. Can't be sure, everything looks different bigger." Plagg began walking down the large staircase.
"Wait, I will turn back to normal, right? Right!" Adrien cried after his body.
Plagg laughed louder than he had ever done before, meanwhile Adrien fell into despair.
#miraculousladybug#adrien agreste#plagg#what am i doin with my life#mlb#miraculous ladybug#chat noir#fanfiction#miraculous ladybug fanfiction#plagg and adrien bodyswap
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Fatman: Why Mel Gibson Found Christmas Spirit at the End of a Gun
https://ift.tt/3evPPz5
Sometimes you find the Spirit of Christmas in the strangest of places. For brothers Eshom and Ian Nelms, it was at an awards season screening of Hacksaw Ridge in December 2016. The pair had already been dreaming of Fatman and its desperado Santa Claus for more than a decade when they attended the event. But they weren’t there that night for Santa; they came for a Q&A with Mel Gibson, the mercurial filmmaker who seemed to be on the cusp of reconciliation with Hollywood.
Arriving to his own screening renewed and happy, and with a bushy gray beard worthy of Methuselah, Gibson could still make a hell of an impression, both on an industry impressed by his World War II drama and the two young filmmakers with eyes due North.
“Gibson came out and he had this amazing beard,” Ian recalls over a Zoom interview, still with a twinkle in his eye. “He was a little slumped over and kneading his beard, very passionately talking to the audience about what he was excited about in the film and why he made it. But he also was right at the end of that award circuit, and you could see that he was a little worn out… you could see the wear and tear on him [and] a guy that was little beaten down at that point. We instantly looked at each other and we’re like, ‘That’s the guy.”
They were ready to shout that’s our Santa!
It’s an unusual origin story for a Christmas movie, but then Fatman isn’t your child’s new Netflix Christmas darling. Starring Gibson as an aged and broken man who is clinging on to the last vestiges of hope for a better tomorrow, Fatman seeks to ground Father Christmas with the same dispirited nihilism that James Mangold applied to Wolverine a few years ago in Logan. Both movies are ostensibly Westerns, informed by the deconstructionist streak of Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven, and both end in a bloodbath.
Yet whereas Unforgiven is the story of a cowboy, and Logan a clawed antihero, Fatman is about Santa existing in a world where hitmen like Walton Goggins’ “Skinny Man” come out of the woodwork, eager to claim his scalp. However, if you sit down and ask the Nelms about this somber approach to the character, it makes perfect sense in the early 21st century.
“When we were doing some of the research and finding out how much money the holiday season really drives our economy, it’s amazing, right?” Eshom says. “You can see why that engine was created.”
Indeed, according to the World Economic Forum, Americans alone spend more than $1 trillion a year on holiday retail. And that doesn’t even consider how much more is spent on holiday festivities, public events, and travel.
“I mean, Rudolph, which now seems to be a staple of Christmas, was actually an invention of [retailer] Montgomery Ward’s back in the day,” Ian says. “That’s a marketing ploy. Rudolph doesn’t exist!”
This cold economic reality informs the brothers’ approach to Santa. Other than his genuinely sweet partnership with Ruth (Marianne Jean-Baptiste), aka Mrs. Claus, Gibson’s Chris Kringle is despondent and cynical about the world today. It’s why he allowed his operation to become subsidized by the U.S. government, which in turn wants to prop up the American economy but is as oblivious about the Spirit of Christmas as the little boy (Chance Hurtsfield) who puts a bounty on Santa’s head after receiving a lump of coal on Dec. 25.
It’s an unorthodox take, and one the Nelms’ have been working on for the better part of 20 years. The pair tell us that the concept first came to them in 2003, fortuitously around the same time they bought their first DVDs: Unforgiven for Ian and Unbreakable for Eshom.
“This sort of superhero-Western mashup was, I think, a big catalyst for the film,” Eshom notes, particularly appreciating how grounded and stealthy the superheroics were in M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable. Their premise also fit into each brother’s preference for niche “alternative Christmas movies.” As a pair more inclined to enjoy Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or Gremlins during the holidays, not to mention the Gibson-starring Lethal Weapon, they saw an opportunity to make a unique genre-bender.
However, real movement on Fatman didn’t start until the Nelms began getting their foot in the industry in 2006, and they’ve been refining the idea ever since.
“We always wanted him to be an everyman,” Eshom says about the creative process. “We wanted [Chris and Ruth] to be really relatable and have a lot of what people would consider blue collar problems.”
As the sons of small business owners, the Nelms were able to understand that dynamic intimately, even if the stakes they saw growing up were never over the soul of Christmas.
Says Ian, “[Our parents] owned a photography business for 20 some odd years, and our mom was very much the Ruth. She was the backbone of that business, and he was very much the Chris, where he was the lead photographer. She was an amazing photographer in her own right, but he was the lead photographer and the business had his name on it, and he started it before he even met our mom. But he wouldn’t have lasted five seconds without our mom, because she really held that thing together. Even though he was a great photographer, the logistics eluded him, completely.”
That dynamic informs much of Fatman, which ended up being the Nelms’ fourth feature film. The movie is accurately marketed on the grizzled violence that eventually puts Goggins’ Skinny Man on the opposite end of a snow bank from Gibson’s Kringle. The slender one bellows, “I’ve come for your head, Fatman!” But the film surprisingly plays its absurdities straight, not least of all because of Gibson and Jean-Baptiste’s affection.
It’s one element the brothers emphasized to Gibson when they finally got in a room with the filmmaker to pitch the project; another was how stripped down and crusty their vision of Santa would be.
“The pictures that we were showing him were these pictures of these old trappers, and these guys who were visiting Antarctica in the early 1900s and they were on dog sleds,” Ian says. “We were… really bringing it back to a place of when this guy got started. Maybe the jacket is real leather and that’s real animal fur? It’s like it goes back to a time when he was originated, and we felt like that jacket had been upgraded for hundreds of years with Ruth stitching it up.”
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It clearly wasn’t Tim Allen’s Santa Claus, but that was the point. They expressly pitched that point to the star they’d grown up watching in Mad Max and Lethal Weapon movies, and Gibson in turn ran with the “cowboy” angle, modeling Chris on several people he knew in his own life.
Even with this background, audiences will likely be surprised by how stripped down Fatman is when they watch it for themselves. Because while there may be elves with bells on their shoes, for example, these helpers work in a low lit, industrial hell and on a stretch of Alaskan farmland far removed from a magical workshop.
Says Eshom, “We were like, ‘Okay, Santa’s in the North Pole?’ Well, there isn’t shit at the North Pole. So if he really wanted an infrastructure and to [actually] get supplies and power, and all this stuff, we’re like, ‘Okay he’s got to be somewhere where there’s a slight civilization. So Alaska.”
It’s part and parcel for an approach that pivots on grounding the Santa Claus mythology in as much reality as possible. This Santa still rides around the world on magical reindeer, but we don’t actually see that Christmas Eve adventure. Instead we bear witness to the aftermath, where Chris comes home exhausted and bleeding, with a hole in his coat from where some kid shot him with a BB-gun.
It’s obviously unlike any Santa you’ve ever seen before. And while the film has already been welcomed by a niche audience in limited theatrical release, it’s also received plenty of criticism for its violent portrayal of Father Christmas. But the Nelms are unbothered by that criticism.
“This isn’t for kids, you know?” Eshom says. “If you want Miracle on 34th Street mixed with Die Hard, this might be your flavor.” Additionally, each director is stunned at how much more timely a beleaguered Santa feels in 2020, since they’ve been trying to get this movie off the ground for 14 years.
“We finished shooting right at the beginning of the pandemic,” Ian says. “We finished shooting and then the next day they shut down all productions in Canada. We were really fortunate to finish on time and then we spent the next six months editing it in my basement. So we had a wonderful distraction, which was nice, but it was a weird time to do it because the tension [is] ratcheting across the world, especially in our country being hit so hard by the pandemic.”
Ironically, they made a film about a once benevolent figure looking at the rising despair and naughtiness of modern American society, and recoiling. That tension, which is as tight a string can get without breaking according to Ian, has only gotten further strained since the film’s edit locked.
Nevertheless, the filmmakers don’t view Santa Claus or the Spirit he represents as a cynical one, even in Fatman. Rather they describe Gibson’s Chris Kringle as something of a guiding light: a man who gives toys to urge children toward whatever skills or proclivities they might have to better realize their futures. So Chris’ wearied resolution to continue the job is as optimistic as it is archetypal.
“I think he’s disgusted in himself, really,” says Ian. “He has that line at the end of the film where he just says, ‘You know, it’s partly my fault that we’ve gotten to this point.’ He’s talking about the state of the world, and he feels like he hasn’t quite been doing his job the last few hundred years. He’s let everything kind of slip and slide, as people do… But he’s trying to figure out how to get it back, and that’s really what the bottom line is, right? Like a call to action, he’s got to get back to the old ways.”
Maybe we all can this Christmas.
Fatman is available on VOD and in limited theatrical release now.
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2019 DS 3 Crossback SUV Unveiled With ICE And EV Power Options The new small SUV from DS is conquering the market, especially with a fully-electric version on the way. After a short teasing, DS finally lifts the veil on its second "pure" offering, i. e. not one derived from Citroën when DS was still a model line and not its own brand. Following the DS 7 Crossback, it's now the DS 3 Crossback's turn to show its face for European-market shoppers. Not surprisingly, this is a compact-segment SUV, one of the most popular sectors for Euro customers at the moment. Aesthetically speaking, the DS 7 Crossback has a certain filiation with the omnipresence of chrome elements, especially on the top-of-the-range version presented here. The headlamps on the front adopt a rather particular and rather complex shape, while the taillights have been designed in a horizontal way with a band crossing the stern to join them – an aesthetic element that is definitely in vogue at the moment. The detached bodywork on the rear doors is another element that's original, to say the very least. This pays homage to the small DS 3 three-door coupé, but let's say it suits that DS variant a little better. For those who might wonder, yes the rear windows open well despite the absence of visible window lickers in the lower part. Another interesting element is the flush door handles, not unlike what we see on the Tesla Model S and Model X. From the back, the fascia is split into a somewhat large diffuser similar to the Jaguar E-Pace, and the taillights are reminiscent of the rear optics found on the Maserati Levante. There are certainly worse vehicles the new DS could resemble, and the designers' work is quite remarkable overall considering the complicated nature of some of the body lines. The development of the Crossback's CMP platform at the same time as that of the car was also an advantage for the designers, allowing them to work with a familiar shared platform. Speaking of which, that platform gives the DS 3 Crossback rather compact measurements, specifically 4.12 meters (13.5 feet) in length, 1.79 meters (5.8 feet) wide, and 1. 54 meters (5.05 feet) tall. Inside, we find a completely new greenhouse, one very largely inspired by the DS frame. The DS 3 Crossback comes standard with a digital instrument cluster, with a 10.3-inch center screen (the largest in its class) mounted atop center console in the highest trim levels. The cargo volume in the rear checks in at 350 liters (12.4 cubic feet). We regret the absence of the DS Night Vision option on the DS 7 Crossback, but the DS 3 does get a level-two semi-autonomous driving system. The DS 3 Crossback is based on the CMP platform (Common Modular Platform) and its e-CMP derivative, which will be found on a fully electric variant. This platform will be used on other models in the range, notably on the future Peugeot 208. In terms of engines, DS will offer three gasoline mills derived from the 1.2-liter PureTech three-cylinder, with available power ranging from 100 horsepower (74.5 kilowatts), 130 hp (97 kW), and 155 hp (115.5 kW). A diesel option is also available in the form of a 1.5-liter BlueHDI producing either 100 hp (74.5 kW) or 130 horsepower (97 kW). Power will be routed to all four wheels through either a six-speed manual transmission or the new eight-speed EAT8 automatic.,etc Share this video: https://youtu.be/xKNwsNv8A6k Enjoy watching & SUBSCRIBE HERE https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMhOketEmykEIO36tdSMBmw?sub_confirmation=1 ⚠ Don’t miss next videos: Press the little bell 🔔 to get notifications.Thank you for your visit. You are welcome sharing and embed links for all our videos Watch more videos in the Playlists: Test Drive: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl20KTZbeRfH9Zyl0WF__ea3j&disable_polymer=true Reviews: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl22_qF8rrXrhuLyQK9nnfe1t&disable_polymer=true Interior & Exterior: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl201OmXkiES8W2NiC5oBaw-n&disable_polymer=true Any questions? We’re always happy to help. Leave your comment bellow We collect videos of famous brands: Audi, Bmw, Lamborghini, Volkswagen, Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hyundai, Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, McLaren, Aston Martin, Amg, Porsche, Opel, Bentley. Lotus, Landrover, Jaguar, Renault, Citroen, Peugeot, Mazda, Subaru, Acura, Infiniti, Ford, Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick, Jeep, Dodge, Lincoln, Bugatti, Koenigsegg, Kia, Genesis, Maybach, Mini... Like us on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2tk9ESQ Tweet to us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CarBay6?lang=en Follow us Pinterest https://ift.tt/2t9Iy1C Join our Tumblr: https://ift.tt/2tlafnp We are always happy to hear from you! Please share your feedback on our video in the comments or through our social media!
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Star Sightings: Cardi B Rocks Out During Super Bowl Weekend, Julianne Hough Flies High & More!
Stars spent the weekend getting pumped up for the Super Bowl!
Cardi B rocked the house at Maxim’s 2018 pre-Super Bowl party in Minneapolis, Minnesota, performing her hit, "Bodak Yellow," at the event produced by Karma International and co-sponsored by blu, Rockstar Energy Drink, Bud Light, Captain Morgan, Altec Lansing and E11EVEN Miami, on Feb. 3.
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Josephine Skriver stepped out at Las Vegas' Palms Casino Resort’s Big Game Weekend party, in association with TAO Group and presented by Element Electronics, at Minneapolis’ Lumber Exchange Building on Feb. 3.
Tasos Katopodis for Getty Images
The Chainsmokers were the special surprise performers at Fanatics’ annual Super Bowl party at the same event center on Feb. 3.
Getty Images for Fanatics
The day before, Jamie Foxx got into the game by attending Bootsy Bellows’ The Big Game Experience after-party in Minneapolis, presented by American Airlines and Casper. Guests filled up on McDonald's as their late-night snack and sipped on specialty drinks made with Absolut Elyx and Perrier Jouet.
Dennis Kwan
Old Spice Guys Von Miller and Isaiah Mustafa were in Minnesota on Feb. 1 as well, helping shoppers at the Mall of America in Bloomington up their scent game with the Old Spice Red Collection.
Jeff Lewis/AP IMages
Also on the music front, DJ Khaled, Ashlee Simpson Ross and Teyana Taylor were among the stars who joined the makers of CÎROC Ultra Premium Vodka on Feb. 5 at the launch of the flagship CÎROC Studios inside the iconic Record Plant Recording Studios in West Hollywood. On behalf of Sean “Diddy” Combs and the CÎROC team, Khaled, who served as the night’s master of ceremony, presented VH1's Save The Music Foundation with a donation of 100 hours of studio time for aspiring musicians.
Tiffany Rose/Getty Images
Drake Bell watched CBS' 2018 Grammy Awards at a star-studded viewing party at La Piazza at The Grove in Los Angeles on Jan. 28.
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NFL wide receiver Victor Cruz also celebrated GRAMMY weekend, getting behind the DJ booth at the Tanqueray No. TEN Gin & Juice brunch at LAVO in New York.
Michael Simon
The Time's Up and #MeToo movements were spoken about frequently over GRAMMYs weekend, and Natalie Portman continued the conversation at the 2018 MAKERS Conference at NeueHouse Hollywood in Los Angeles on Feb. 5. “There’s this kind of secondary thing about being the only woman at the table... that is very isolating and endangering and how empowering it is to be in a room, to be on the same team, to say ‘we refuse to be pitted against each other,’ there is not only one spot, we’re going to make room for all of us…" she expressed onstage.
Rachel Murray/Getty Images for MAKERS
In an equally powerful move, Vanessa Williams and her daughter Jillian Hervey teamed up with WomenHeart and Burlington Stores to #KnockOutHeartDisease, the leading cause of death in women. The mother-daughter duo took part in a free healthy heart screening at the store’s Union Square location in New York City on Feb. 6.
Burlington Stores
They weren't the only stars getting fashionable ahead of New York Fashion Week. Surrounded by a slew of faux flowers, Drew Barrymore proudly showed off the new Drew Barrymore ♥ Crocs Color-Block collection she helped create.
Startraksphoto
Joan Smalls looked ready for summer already as she walked through Los Angeles on Feb. 1 in a white mini, which she accessorized with a loosely worn black leather jacket and blue suede MCM “Trisha” shoulder bag.
JB Lacroix
Decked out in a long army-inspired jacket, Jamie Chung stayed hydrated with smartwater as she took a stroll through San Francisco.
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Beauty and fashion go hand-in-hand, which is why Riverdale star Madelaine Petsch, a Bioré Skincare Brand Ambassador, cleansed her face with the brand’s new Baking Soda Acne Cleansing Foam while on set.
Michael Simon
Even on the road, stars know how to move in style! Julianne Hough and her husband, Brooks Laich rolled their coordinated Away luggage through JFK airport on Jan. 31.
BACKGRID
And while they left the airport, Scott Eastwood headed for the skies, hopping aboard an All Nippon Airways for a recent trip to Tokyo, Japan.
All Nippon Airways
Back in the states, Shoshana Bean and Jesse Tyler Ferguson attended the Michaels-hosted Starlight Children's Foundation's Design-a-Gown event in Los Angeles on Feb. 3.
Getty Images
And let's not forget how many celebs were getting their food on! Ed Sheeran loves Hooters, and now he’s making sure James Blunt does too -- at least when it comes to modeling the restaurant chain’s tight T-shirts! “Sizzling pout by @jamesblunt- photo by @marksurridge,” the “Perfect” singer wrote on Instagram on Feb. 7.
Sizzling pout by @jamesblunt - photo by @marksurridge
A post shared by Ed Sheeran (@teddysphotos) on Feb 7, 2018 at 2:40am PST
Drake rocked a flannel shirt to dinner at Byblos Miami on Jan. 31. The restaurant stayed open late for the "God's Plan" artist, who dined with a group of approximately 15 friends in the intimate upstairs dining area, where they were later joined by 10 more friends for cocktails.
Tropical Rain
A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Feb 1, 2018 at 7:01pm PST
Martha Stewart had a little help preparing buckwheat pancakes using Four Acre Farms buttermilk, breakfast sausages and a tangy pomegranate cocktail alongside her BFF and co-host Snoop Dogg at the 15th Annual Sun Wine & Food Festival at the Mohegan Sun casino in Uncasville, Connecticut, in late January.
Mohegan Sun
Plus, Ludacris and a lady friend dined at Cleo South Beach, where he was performing with Post Malone for the Pegasus horse races in Miami’s Gulfstream Park. The pair kept it light, munching on two flatbreads and enjoying a glass of cabernet.
Also in the Floridian city, Elle Macpherson attended a chic Miami Beach event at India Hicks and Sarah LaCharlotte’s celebration of India’s Spring Collection and Sarah’s PartyTap app launch in Miami Beach on Feb. 1.
Mitchell Aragon for DT Model Management
Speaking of models, DT Model Management announced their newest signing on Feb. 2, 16-year-old Mason Grammer, the daughter of Kelsey Grammer and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Camille Grammer. She joins a group of DT women that includes Ireland Basinger Baldwin, Destry Allyn Spielberg, Nala Wayans, Ava Dash and Lydia Hearst.
Marzena Kosicka
Model Ashley Hart, a Swisse Wellness brand ambassador, stunned in a semi boho-chic dress with a plunging neckline when she stepped out at the 15th Annual G'Day USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala on Jan. 27.
Michael Simon
Meanwhile, The Conga Room at L.A. Live's co-owners Jimmy Smits and Paul Rodriguez helped kick off a year-long celebration of its 20th anniversary with a Salsa Extravaganza on Feb. 1.
Photo courtesy of Conga Room.
For even more must-see star sightings, click through the gallery below.
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The Buffet is one of two tenants listed on the sign for the North Adams Gateway Center. The shopping area is just off State Street, sharing a block with a small-brand gas station and a True Value hardware store. Its sole companion is a furniture and appliance store that rents its wares for exorbitant interest. Multiracial models beam from signs in the windows, frozen in displays of shouting joy over no money down, no credit required and no questions asked. The other shops are all abandoned; they are commercial skeletons with darkened fronts and creeping water damage. It is here, among this dilapidation and decrepitude at the edge of a scarred parking lot, that Oriental Buffet levels its gaze upon the populace, thriving on the promises of thirty minutes or less and all you can eat.
The place is easiest to spot at night. A pale yellow lightbox bears the name in red, deliberate font. Two hanzi characters are squeezed into the corners. The front window is bordered in lurid blue neon visible for several hundred feet along the road, and when it rains the damp lot reflects the glare of the storefront and accents the plaza in a blue haze. When it is cold the windows are layered in condensation, obscuring the view from the outside and inspiring enticing thoughts of the warmth within. An open sign, all in neon with green ornamentation invites customers in from ten in the morning to eleven at night. The sight makes quite an impression, but if for some reason one were to wander into that half-abandoned plaza and not see the glowing storefront, they would undoubtedly notice the aroma. The parking lot is where one first detects it. At their strongest around lunch and dinner, Gateway Center is flooded with the smells of the kitchen. It isn’t a nuanced or subtle odor; it is the smell of fats and frying oils—more the smell of hunger than of food—and quickly does the body begin to express that hunger with involuntary growlings and awakening salivary glands.
Those customers that pierce that neon-adorned foggy barrier and push aside the glass entrance are greeted by a tackiness even more endearing than exhibited by the outside. Crimson and gold decorations hang from the loose panels of the entryway ceiling. Paper koi dance under the A.C., and banners reading Happy New Year sway about in the draft of the open entry. The rest of the eatery is decorated to a similar theme. The hostess’s desk overflows with an assortment of East-Asian tchotchkes: Good luck cats with swinging paws, paper dolls of rosy-cheeked children and giddy Chinese Buddha of various sizes. Emerald bamboo reaches up from pots in corners and on the tables. Plastic flowers bloom in pots along the booth dividers, and despite their inauthenticity it appears they are being watered regularly. The walls, wood-paneled up to their midpoint, are papered in an off-white printed pattern that attempts to emulate brushstrokes. A portion of the eastern wall is obscured by a large photographic print. The panorama is of some dusky, tropical scene on some unnamed isle in possibly East Asia but just as likely in Key West. The print buckles in its frame, just a little too large.
It is then, while momentarily taken aback by the exquisite scenery, that the door swings shut behind the customers. Several strings of brass bells, affixed to the back of the door and woven like a net let out tinny, staccato cries. The silence interrupted, (The Buffet rarely pipes in music over the speakers) several patrons reflexively snap their heads toward the door and back to their plates after making awkward eye contact. They sit scattered among the restaurant: Some in booths, others at tables. Regular customers of the Buffet include families all dressed in at least one camouflage article, groups of jovial black teenagers, and assorted older gentleman alone save for their newspapers or mystery novels. Before everyone sits a plate or several plates overflowing with fatty, oily, glorious golden Chinese food.
The silence has barely returned when the staff emerge from the rear of the establishment bearing smiles of varying sincerity. Each in turn give the same greeting: How are you? There tends to be three working in the dining area, along with a hostess. Occasionally others poke their heads out of the kitchen and give the requisite how are you. Oriental Buffet possesses what is possibly the most fashionable staff of any buffet in western Massachusetts. The delivery man leaning by the buffet wears an azure down vest and designer sweats. He has pump-up sneakers and a perfectly sculpted pompadour. A stocky girl with an undercut in a faux letterman jacket folds napkins at the back booth. The Hostess seems to be the only one dressed for food service: She wears an apron over her pink blouse, and puts her hair back into a tight bun. Tall and angular, this woman is the matriarch of the Oriental Buffet family. Hostess, waitress, and busboy all in one, she constantly busies herself by taking inventory at the buffet and making sure her the patrons’ drinks are topped off. She keeps the others in line, biting with Mandarin quips if she sees them lazing about as she wanders to the kitchen and back. Sometimes more than that is exchanged, and sometimes there are shouting matches. After all, they are here every day from open to close; they are the only crew. It’s understandable that tensions would run high, but Ms. Hostess is quick to forgive and immediately resumes her pleasant diligence, the atmosphere recovers and visitors turn from the spectacle back to their emptying plates.
The guests are led past the desk and into the dining area. Beyond the counter, they walk past an unlit tank into which water trickles steadily. A single freshwater catfish bobs lethargically in the green dimness. They shuffle across the culinary-grade carpeting, (In some restaurants, carpets of this kind get so thick with grime they blacken and seep; however, the situation at Oriental Buffet is not so severe). Ms. Hostess seats them in their seashell-patterned booths, and after placing beverage orders they are turned lose upon the eponymous buffet. Some do not even wait this long, and after mumbling for a Coke in passing they set upon the Holy Land.
The buffet sits in the far back corner of the restaurant. It is three counters with twelve silver trays embedded in the center, six to a side. Handwritten notecards, embellished with flowers and smiley-faces, indicate the contents of each tray. The buffet boasts all the standards: Chicken fingers, crab Rangoon, Peking dumplings, lo mein and the like. Other entrées include California roll, assorted deserts, something involving cheese and crabmeat, and more “American” dishes like mac n’ cheese and dry meatballs. Occasionally, the gentleman with the pompadour will come from the back and switch a depleted pan from the counter and steam will billow from the reservoir bellow.
The food is fine.
All tastes as it should, any eater experienced with American Chinese food would find all the bases covered. The fried rice has enough pork, the dumplings are crispy enough and the sauce meets the appropriate sweet-sour balance. It is all quite adequate. Oriental Buffet would be ruined if the food excelled; the true appeal of the place would be too easily explained. In mediocrity, Oriental Buffet is an exemplar of the Sino-American cuisine aesthetic: Passable food served in the distinct Chinese Restaurant atmosphere so well embodied by the Buffet. The eccentricities of the staff, the assorted trinkets, the well-watered fake plants and the catfish in his dirty tank all work in cohesion to perfectly represent the Chinese Restaurant archetype. Restaurants such as this are unintentional art installations reflective of the very way we perceive other cultures. The food is half the experience, the atmosphere the other.
Sometime during the meal, a toddler, a child of one of the staff, wanders out from the kitchen. He weaves among the tables, giggling and giving the customers enthusiastic heys. The isolated customers look up from their plates and give a wave or just a smile. He gets as far as the desk when the woman in the faux-letterman gives him a curt shout and he comes waddling back to her. As patrons file out, he sits on her knee, eating a bowl of cubed pineapple as the mother tells the sated eaters thank you, come again. The patrons nod and go out into that blue hazy parking lot and return to wherever they need to be. They will be back.
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Day 6. [1705]
No idea why this one took so long. Probably because I didn’t really care for the prompt. I just wanted the reward.
Gatas had lost track of how long she had been wandering through Hell trying to find its king. She knew she was wasting time that she could be spending back in the living realm, although how much was indeterminable. With eternity stretching out before her, the passage of time felt like it took so much longer. She had started blasting holes in landmarks she passed to mark whether she'd already gone in that direction; even still, she had yet to come across Dabura's grand staircase or his throne.
"Oh my god," she heard whispered behind her. She stopped.
"Is that really her?" another whispered voice asked, sounding on the verge of nervous laughter.
"I didn't know whether to believe she'd actually died, you know?"
"Did you hear about the one guy who was going around telling everyone he saw her escape from that Majin? He said she's actually in hiding somewhere and she's plotting to kill all the Namekian Alliance's war heroes one by one."
"Yeah, what a fanboy." Tittering. "Guess he was wrong."
"We still don't know if that's her."
"Well, let's ask."
Gatas heard rustling. She resisted the urge to turn around, partly hoping that, despite all evidence to the contrary, she wasn't the subject of the conversation happening behind her.
"What?" That voice sounded panicked.
Loudly, "Hey!"
Gatas was slow to turn, looking over her shoulder first before fully committing to the movement.
"Oh god--" One of the two boys behind Gatas took a step back as her gaze fell on him. She stood taller than the both of them, and neither looked very experienced in the ways of combat and warfare. Gatas scoffed at the boy who had most recently spoken. It was unbecoming of a Dragon Clan Namekian to behave like a coward.
"Are you Gatas?" The other boy, a Konatsian, was much bolder. "You're a hero in the eyes of the Red Ribbon Army, if you are. You killed the Immortal. They say when he finally managed to hit you, you laughed in his face."
Gatas grinned despite herself. Being a soldier, being a warrior; it was never about the glory for her, but she was also not the type to deny how well she did the things she did. She saw that both boys were dressed in standard-issue Red Ribbon gear. Both their jackets bore the organization's logo. Gatas composed herself, her lieutenant's tattoo making itself known on her skin. "Report," she commanded.
To their credit, both soldiers moved to stand at attention. One of them, the Namekian, seemed to grab for a rifle that he then realized was not with him. "Casualties are high on both sides of the fight," he announced, his nervousness gone as he got into a role he was comfortable with. "A lone Saibaman attempted to destroy Namek in its entirety. He was stopped by the Namekian Alliance, but not without a few losses on their side."
Gatas watched him carefully as he spoke, but the boy gave no indication of concern for what she assumed was his home planet. It wasn't surprising, per se, but she felt it was noteworthy that a Namekian warrior would align himself with a faction that intended to destroy his people's way of life.
"Magnok and I were among the fallen. There was a resistance effort to keep the locals from interfering with the Saibaman's plans, but we were outnumbered in the end."
Namek was intact, and it sounded like neither side had a clear advantage over the other. She could still return to the front lines, if she ever managed to find Dabura.
"Yo, inferior organisms!" A scruffy-looking youth stepped out from behind a rock formation, his hands in his pockets. "Any of you up for a fight?"
Gatas immediately fell into a fighting stance, her attention completely focused on the newcomer. She was always ready.
The would-be challenger leaned back, looking down his nose at the Shikirian and her companions. "Tch, as if. I'm just asking for a friend. Isn't that right, Maxy?"
The unseen person he was speaking to lumbered into view. Maxy, as the kid called him, was of average height, but was built wide. His arms and chest were almost comically disproportional to his head, and as he stood before the three Red Ribbon members, his heavy breathing caused his chest to strain, pulling taut some of the exposed wiring in his torso.
"Big robot," Magnok commented. "I thought Android models were numbered only. Why's he get to be called Maxy?"
"His power is maximum," the scruffy boy said. "Anyway, the good doctor wants us to put the big guy through his paces, so we got sent out to, uh, recruit some volunteers. I take it Big Red here is willing?"
"Her name is Gatas," Magnok said, "and yeah. Count her in. I bet she'll turn your robot gorilla into scrap metal!"
Gatas was less than appreciative of the Konatsian boy speaking on her behalf, but she wasn't about to argue. She had only seen the action from the sidelines at the Cell games, and she was itching to take some frustration out on someone who might be able to handle more than a few hits.
"Good. Follow me." The kid pushed on Maxy's arm to rotate him until he faced the proper direction, then led the other three on a winding path that ended with a double-wide metal door on the side of a hill. Gatas questioned the logic behind installing an underground bunker in Hell but said nothing.
A passcode and undignified slide later, they arrived in what looked to be an empty underground warehouse. The blinding lights dotting the ceiling prevented any accurate guess to the height of the place, and the area was unfurnished except for an old-school wrestling ring. Gatas shook her head in disbelief. Zoning and construction laws were clearly not a priority in Hell, and it seemed that their host had a penchant for old school Earth melodrama.
Maxy hefted himself up onto the outside of the ring, then ducked in between the top and middle rope to get in. He struggled with the gesture as his broad shoulders kept catching the ropes, remiscent of a dog with an oversized stick in its mouth trying to get through a doorway.
"Doc! We got a live one!" The call echoed through the open space.
Moments later a rickety old man zoomed out from the depths of the room on a souped up Segway, his lab coat billowing out behind him. Once he was close enough to the ring, he slowed to a stop and removed the goggles from his eyes. "A live one, you said? Impossible. We're all dead here."
"You know what I meant."
"When speaking, you must be clear in your meaning, Dimitri," the strange old man chided. "As for my guests, welcome. I am Doctor Gyro, not to be confused with that hack Dr. Gero from the Red Ribbon Army."
"We're Red Ribbon," Magnok shot back, offended. "Dr. Gero was a genius."
"Gero was a blind fool, thinking that organic matter would improve on the pure power that machines have. All you need is a skin suit to make your androids passable for humans, and they far outperform the capabilities of a mere mortal. No squishy organs like a heart or a brain to make for an easy weak point."
"We came for a fight, not a lecture." The Namekian soldier had found his voice again, it seemed.
"If it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you shall have," Dr. Gyro promised. "But Dimitri, you said you had one. There are three here, and I don't want to waste Maxy's time with three different opponents. Determine who the strongest of them is and they can fight him."
"They already volunteered the girl to fight."
"Oh! Well then. Join Maxy in the ring, won't you? The rules to this fight are simple. No ki-based moves. This is a test of strength. Outside weapons and flight are not allowed. Maxy has a built-in gauge that tracks his damage taken and boosts his power accordingly. I'd like to test and make sure that works."
Gatas jumped into the ring from where she stood, then waited for the signal to begin. The eccentric doctor pulled a boxing bell from his coat and rang it three times, which both fighters understood as a "go." Gatas knew she had to do some damage without immediately ending the match, so she waited for Maxy to make the first move.
Maxy bellowed a war cry and barreled towards her. She caught him by the shoulders, sliding back a bit as she stopped him in his tracks. He tried to throw some body shots, but was rewarded with a heavy knock to the top of his head. His bulk was an obvious disadvantage. The whole match devolved into Gatas catching and throwing the android bodily whenever he tried to charge at her.
When Maxy did finally hit his limit break, he swung a wild right at Gatas and caught her in the jaw. The Doctor whooped excitedly and shook a less than enthusiastic Dimitri to attention. Gatas proceeded to dodge every other attack that the metal man attempted, one of which was a straight punch that dented one of the corner posts of the ring. Bored now, the Shikirian grabbed Maxy by his head and tossed him over the top rope and onto the floor. Her comrades started a 10-count, but stopped after she climbed up the ropes herself and launched herself at the android while he struggled to get up. His head cracked against the floor. Finally, Gatas grabbed a handful of Maxy's exposed wiring and yanked hard. Electricity sparked in her hand and she abruptly let go, getting up with her eyes on her opponent to see if he would follow. He didn't, his head twitching as a result of the compromised connection.
"Maxy no!" Dr. Gyro wailed. "You cretin, look what you've done! Get out of my lair!" He pushed a button on his wristband and the entrance door opened. Gatas shrugged and flew out with the other Red Ribbon boys in tow. So much for that.
[Running Total: 9,270 words]
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2019 Fiat 500X Review - THE NEXT GENERATION CROSSOVER Fiat Goes Back To The Future With 2019 500X What better way to highlight new tech features than through an epic movie. The covers are off of the new 500X, but Fiat isn’t just done yet in highlighting its pint-sized crossover. In its new TV commercial, the 2019 500X showcases its host of safety features through time travel, and of course, what’s the movie that best represents time travel and cars? No, it isn’t Bruce Willis’ Looper - we’re talking about Back to the Future, and the company couldn’t get any righter about it. In the TV ad, you could see a couple from the ‘60s inside a classic Fiat 500, which then jumped to the present time after being struck by lightning. Their car, of course, is the new 500X. With the crossover’s plethora of high-tech features, the couple was in awe in the cabin. Things like TomTom 3D Navigation, seven-inch Uconnect infotainment system, lane keep assist, traffic sign recognition, emergency braking, and blind spot alert left the couple in awe. It’s understandable, though, as these aren’t a thing yet during their era. We just couldn’t help but imagine these two inside a Tesla, but I digress. Going back to the Fiat 500X, the crossover got upgrades on the outside, too. LEDs replace the Xenon headlights, while the tail gets LED lighting as well to complete the modern touch. Performance figures have also been upgraded, with the Euro-spec models ranging from a new three-cylinder 1.0-liter gasoline mill producing 120 horsepower and 190 Newton-meters (140 pound-feet) of torque via a six-speed manual to a 2.0L diesel that produces 150 horsepower and 350 Newton-meters (258 pound-feet) torque through a nine-speed automatic gearbox. With these upgrades in place for the European market, Fiat is yet to announce the U.S.-spec model, which could come anytime soon. Meanwhile, back to the TV ad, were you able to spot Doc Brown’s cameo cool cameo? Share this video: https://youtu.be/spvdypObm_s Enjoy watching & SUBSCRIBE HERE https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMhOketEmykEIO36tdSMBmw?sub_confirmation=1 ⚠ Don’t miss next videos: Press the little bell 🔔 to get notifications.Thank you for your visit. You are welcome sharing and embed links for all our videos Watch more videos in the Playlists: Test Drive: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl20KTZbeRfH9Zyl0WF__ea3j&disable_polymer=true Reviews: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl22_qF8rrXrhuLyQK9nnfe1t&disable_polymer=true Interior & Exterior: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl201OmXkiES8W2NiC5oBaw-n&disable_polymer=true Any questions? We’re always happy to help. Leave your comment bellow We collect videos of famous brands: Audi, Bmw, Lamborghini, Volkswagen, Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hyundai, Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, McLaren, Aston Martin, Amg, Porsche, Opel, Bentley. Lotus, Landrover, Jaguar, Renault, Citroen, Peugeot, Mazda, Subaru, Acura, Infiniti, Ford, Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick, Jeep, Dodge, Lincoln, Bugatti, Koenigsegg, Kia, Genesis, Maybach, Mini... Like us on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2tk9ESQ Tweet to us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CarBay6?lang=en Follow us Pinterest https://ift.tt/2t9Iy1C Join our Tumblr: https://ift.tt/2tlafnp We are always happy to hear from you! Please share your feedback on our video in the comments or through our social media!
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2019 Honda Pilot Elite: Refining the SUV Formula with Rugged Looks, More Tech The first generation Honda Pilot bowed in 2002 as a 2003 model, and is now in its third generation as of 2015. It joins the smaller CR-V and HR-V models as the brand’s flagship among its SUV models. While it comes from a Japanese brand, Honda designed and developed the Pilot right here in the United States. Honda manufactures the Pilot in Lincoln, Alabama. Over the past twelve years, Honda has sold more than 1.4 million examples. OVERVIEW The 2019 Honda Pilot hits showroom floors with new front and rear styling cues, powertrain refinements and a host of technology upgrades. The new Pilot is available in five basic levels of trim. There’s LX at the low end, EX, EX-L, Touring and the flagship Elite. Nearly all trims are available in either a FWD or AWD configuration, except the Elite, which only comes in AWD. The 2019 Honda Pilot EX-L is available with or without Navigation and Rear Entertainment system, and the Touring models are available with or without Rear Captain’s chairs. Pricing ranges from $31,450 for a 2WD LX to $49,015 for a fully-loaded Elite, including the $995 Destination charge. The Honda Sensing suite of advanced driver assistance and safety technology is now standard fare for all trim levels. Up front, integrated into the new front bumper are enlarged fog light housings, now available as LEDs. There’s also a redesigned grille which is a reinterpretation of Honda’s “flying wing” design with its chrome trim band extending above the headlights. Out back, are new taillights as well as LED backup lights. In profile, a chrome trim strip runs along the vehicle’s side, wrapping around the rear bumper. Wheels benefit from a more rugged appearance, with 18-inch designs for LX, EX and EX-L, and a new 20-inch design on Touring and Elite trim models. New features in addition to the revised styling include an available hands-free power tailgate and a new Display Audio touchscreen system with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto support. COMFORT AND CONVENIENCE Entering the Pilot’s cabin, updates include new vent surround trim, available 3-way heated front seats and wider fold-down driver and front passenger armrests. Second-row retractable sunshades find their way into EX-L, Touring and Elite trim levels. A redesigned instrument cluster serves up a larger thin-film transistor (TFT) screen with a variety of user-selectable displays with driver-selectable customizable features, such as audio system information, a detailed trip computer, phone information, and turn-by-turn route guidance on navigation-equipped models. Drivers negotiate the new TFT menu via a new steering wheel with enhanced controls, redesigned for more intuitive operation. Rear seat occupants benefit from an available updated Rear Entertainment System) with a larger screen and new capabilities. Pilot is now also available with a 4G LTE-based Wi-Fi hotspot.The Rear Entertainment System includes a fun, kid friendly, puppet-themed “How Much Farther?” app. with a colorful on-screen animated marionette play that counts down time and distance to the destination that has been set into the navigation system. Now standard on the 2019 Pilot, the Honda Sensing suite includes Collision Mitigation Braking, Road Departure Mitigation, Lane Keep Assist and Adaptive Cruise Control. Honda’s Blind Spot Information System and Rear Cross Traffic Monitor also helps the driver stay keenly aware of their surroundings.,etc Share this video: https://youtu.be/5S9DixQIyiM Enjoy watching & SUBSCRIBE HERE https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMhOketEmykEIO36tdSMBmw?sub_confirmation=1 ⚠ Don’t miss next videos: Press the little bell 🔔 to get notifications.Thank you for your visit. You are welcome sharing and embed links for all our videos Watch more videos in the Playlists: Test Drive: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl20KTZbeRfH9Zyl0WF__ea3j&disable_polymer=true Reviews: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl22_qF8rrXrhuLyQK9nnfe1t&disable_polymer=true Interior & Exterior: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl201OmXkiES8W2NiC5oBaw-n&disable_polymer=true Any questions? We’re always happy to help. Leave your comment bellow We collect videos of famous brands: Audi, Bmw, Lamborghini, Volkswagen, Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hyundai, Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, McLaren, Aston Martin, Amg, Porsche, Opel, Bentley. Lotus, Landrover, Jaguar, Renault, Citroen, Peugeot, Mazda, Subaru, Acura, Infiniti, Ford, Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick, Jeep, Dodge, Lincoln, Bugatti, Kia, Genesis, Maybach, Mini... Like us on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2tk9ESQ Tweet to us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CarBay6?lang=en Follow us Pinterest https://ift.tt/2t9Iy1C Join our Tumblr: https://ift.tt/2tlafnp We are always happy to hear from you! Please share your feedback on our video in the comments or through our social media!
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2019 Audi Q3 First Look: Much More Modern Audi’s most affordable crossover gets a redesign It's only been a few years since the Audi Q3 went on sale in the U.S., but it's important to remember that Audi sold the Q3 overseas for three years before bringing it stateside. Dating back to the 2013 model year, the Q3 is actually one of the oldest vehicles in Audi's lineup. Now there's a new version for 2019. The first thing that stands out about the 2019 Audi Q3 is how much more aggressive the styling is. It might be too much for some people, but unlike the current Q3, you certainly won't call the new design anonymous or plain. The front end borrows a lot of its look from the Q8, with flared fenders that give the luxury subcompact a muscular, sporty look. The rear, meanwhile, gets its own distinct styling. We would have preferred visible exhaust tips and for the grille to stand out a little less, but overall, the design is a huge improvement. The Q3 has grown, giving passengers significantly more room in the cabin. Not only is it 3.8 inches longer than before, but its wheelbase has also been stretched 3.1 inches. It's also a little more than a half inch wider and slightly less than a quarter-inch lower. Together, the larger dimensions promise more leg-, head-, and shoulder room. The back seat slides nearly 6 inches and gets a 40/20/40 split, allowing both cargo and passenger space to be maximized as needed. Audi also completely redesigned the interior, using a lot of the same design elements you'll find in any of the vehicles it's introduced in the past couple years. The star of the show is a massive 10.25-inch digital instrument cluster. Step up from the base model, and Audi's visually impressive Virtual Cockpit also becomes available, as does a 12.3-inch display. The center console uses an 8.8-inch touchscreen to control the infotainment system, but that can be upgraded to a 10.1-inch screen if you choose the top-of-the-line version. The Q3 gets its fair share of cutting-edge technology, as well. The top-level infotainment option comes with a feature Audi calls natural-language voice control, which, thanks to cloud connectivity, it claims will be less infuriating to use than regular voice controls. There's also a suite of connected services that promise to provide traffic and parking information, improved search capabilities, internet access, and a Wi-Fi hot spot. Only two USB ports are included, but one is a Type C plug, whichshould make it quicker to charge phones. As is now the industry standard, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto support is also available. Adaptive cruise assist is available, too, bundling adaptive cruise control with traffic jam assist and lane keep assist. At launch, Audi plans to offer four engines in Europe, but neither the entry-level 1.5-liter gas engine nor the diesel option is likely to make it to the U.S. Instead, we'll likely get a 2.0-liter turbo-four that makes either 190 hp and 236 lb-ft of torque or 230 hp and 258 lb-ft. There's also a chance we could get both. But although the Q3's 2.0-liter engines only come with all-wheel drive in Europe, we still expect Audi to offer a front-drive version here. Either way, assume a seven-speed dual-clutch will be the only transmission option.,etc Share this video: https://youtu.be/v60vvc6qQ6s Enjoy watching & SUBSCRIBE HERE https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMhOketEmykEIO36tdSMBmw?sub_confirmation=1 ⚠ Don’t miss next videos: Press the little bell 🔔 to get notifications.Thank you for your visit. You are welcome sharing and embed links for all our videos Watch more videos in the Playlists: Test Drive: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl20KTZbeRfH9Zyl0WF__ea3j&disable_polymer=true Reviews: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl22_qF8rrXrhuLyQK9nnfe1t&disable_polymer=true Interior & Exterior: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLakF4S-xdl201OmXkiES8W2NiC5oBaw-n&disable_polymer=true Any questions? We’re always happy to help. Leave your comment bellow We collect videos of famous brands: Audi, Bmw, Lamborghini, Volkswagen, Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hyundai, Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, McLaren, Aston Martin, Amg, Porsche, Opel, Bentley. Lotus, Landrover, Jaguar, Renault, Citroen, Peugeot, Mazda, Subaru, Acura, Infiniti, Ford, Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick, Jeep, Dodge, Lincoln, Bugatti, Koenigsegg, Kia, Genesis, Maybach, Mini... Like us on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2tk9ESQ Tweet to us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CarBay6?lang=en Follow us Pinterest https://ift.tt/2t9Iy1C Join our Tumblr: https://ift.tt/2tlafnp We are always happy to hear from you! Please share your feedback on our video in the comments or through our social media!
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