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asksuccubussides · 5 months

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What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 9

Masterlist of chapters

11 days after Remus was cast out of Hell

"You're going on a car date with him!? A date!? In a car! With that gross thing!" Virgil eyes were so wide open it looked like they would pop out any second now.

Janus threw his hands up "When life throws you a strange little man you don't just ignore him!"

"Jannie you're killing me! Just like he's going to kill you! In that car!! I- I need a plastic bag to breathe into or something"

Virgil walked around in a circle while continuing to mutter to himself. The sound of the clock ticking that Janus' brain usually automatically zoned out suddenly seemed so overbearing as he sorted through the drawer under his bed to try and choose what to wear. Was he going for a Donna Tartt mysterious dark academia or more of a vampire stuck in victorian London.

"Very lucky that you somehow have the energy to go on a date with this random guy but you've been snazzing me off for asking you to go to class or buy the groceries for once innit" Virgil snarked out while halfway across the room.

In frustration Janus halfheartedly threw the piece of clothing he'd been holding. It fell miserably to the floor between them "You're doing a great impression of a twat tonight honey. Besides it is not a date. It is simply some friendly hanging out"

That last part was a lie. Janus was 22, inexperienced and let's not speak in circles here: very horny. He was only trying to avoid Virgil judging him for it.

Virgil picked up the clothing and folded it while saying dryly "If you're mulling over what to wear I suggest a hmm lemme think hmm a skirt..cause they're easier to take off"

"Oh my god! You're being such a- Nevermind. I am ignoring you for the rest of the evening"

"Having an argument right before going out to get murdered is such a boring cliche Jannie" Virgil put the folded clothing on the bed next to his roomate.

His roomate refused to reply, instead doing charades of him checking his ears and listening around for noise which he pretended he couldnt hear.

Virgil was about to leave it be but muttered over his shoulder "What if he's taking the piss on you? Only asking you out as a joke like every other dipshit? Only down to shag to use as comedy fodder at his next party. You're just gonna be a spectacle for him"

Janus closed his eyes and tried to keep it out. for once he didn't want to believe it.

Remus had a real skip in his step as he pranced through the college hallways. He had succesfully stolen his first car!! He obviously couldn't have a human date without a car! Did he have a license? No! Did he know what a license was? No! This date was going to go great!

"OOOOHHH JAAANNNUUUSS!!!" He yelled through the door while knocking just as loudly.

The door was pushed open so quickly he jumped back from surprise. Janus was standing there with a tense half smile, a large two colored black and yellow sweater, an ankle lenght skirt and his dreadlocks pushed up into two buns. Over his shoulder the demon could see the grumpy roomate sitting buried under a blanket in his bed with his headphones on. He looked so pale he nearly blended into the wall, maybe that was his goal.

"You are surpriseingly timely" Was the first thing Janus said "As you can clearly see I was definitely not at all expecting you to come"

"Expecting me to come immediately is reeally dirty J-anus! I am graceful non dirty pure lady"

"Glad to see you wore the shorts just like I asked. What a good boy you are" Janus had a sly smile on his lips "Want to come in? or must I welcome you like a vampire"

"I'm good" Remus replied while walking into the room.

He did a twirl to look around the whole room with wide bright eyes as he held his hands close to his chest. His head turned in an inhuman way to look at Virgil.

"Again this guy is here"

Janus made a whole showing of looking around and scratching his head "Who" He said sarcastically.

"I live here!" Virgil glared at a spot slightly above Remus' head "Red doesn't suit you"

"Good am not wearing any then!...OH! You mean my eyes!? I have not found way to gougue them out and replace them without losing sight yet. Too bad! Stuck with them for now!"

"..Sure"

"Well then" Janus clasped his hands "I am now remembering I just happened to forget something vital. Oh poor meee and my poor luck! Guess I have to go get that and leave you two aloneee for a while"

He gave his roommate the most shiteating grin before leaving the dormroom. Virgil's mouth fell open for a moment before shaking his head.

"Oh that snake is testing to see if we'll actually kill each other. Fucking bastard" He continued to grumble swearwords under his breathe.

Remus was about to say something about a fight to the death but as soon as he opened his mouth he started to violently cough. He held his hand against his throat and tried to force it back.

"Think I'm allergic to.." Remus gestured in Virgil's general direction. He stack out his tongue and wheezed like a cat trying to cough up a hair ball "Probably lethal...Oh well. Sweet death!"

"Why are you even here"

"You know...Colgege..Colgage...Colege. Study study!"

"No. No. Dude I mean" Virgil began to stand up from his bed while motioning for Remus to sit down in Jan's bed "Sit" He took a the desk chair and spun it around so he could sit on it in the wrong direction.

Remus made a "Blegh" sound while falling back into the soft cushions of Jan's bed. He plucked at the pillows and a bottle of face creme his date had forgotten to put away. "Smells like citrus! Love citrus! Much better smell than whatever you have going on"

"Rude, and also off topic. I was asking-"

"You only made us switch sitting places to make you feel big strong huh?" Remus reached his leg out to tap the chair with his toe.

"Why're you here dude?"

"Study. Study!"

"No! Like! Here" He tapped his finger against the backrest of the chair "Why're you here wanking around with Jannie?"

The demon shrugged "Fun! Dead birds come around him, that's fun! great! Fantastic! More dead stuff please!"

Virgil leant in closer "Listen here you daft nonce, you can't bang your way into our life like this! But if you are going to be here you better not hurt Jannie in any way. If I hear a single insult from you 'bout him I will- Well" Remus coughed again as Virgil leant in as close as he could "I was known as a biter at our ophanage and one time I bit a visitor and that visitor got Rabies from it. The doctors tested me and I didn't have Rabies. No one knows till this day how it happened, Ever heard of a bad miracle? If you try anything I'll find a way to recreate that and bite you"

Remus grined "What's rabies?"

He let out a sigh "...So you're just a proper idiot then"

"Yes, But I know few things" The demon moved his toe up and down against Virgil's leg "I know difference between human being annoyed at me because anger and human being annoyed at me because he thinks I'm hot and he does not want to think that. And I think you're example of number two. OH! Poop joke!"

"You daft fucking cunt!" He slapped the demon's foot away from him "YOu think the dead animals popping up around Jannie is cool!? well I've been telling him for Years that it's just assholes throwing them in through our window or door because humans are fucking horrible! But lately he's stopped listening to me! I think he's seriously starting to think there's some supernatural shit going on, WHICh trust me! I would be the most excited about! In any other case! Love ghosts! But not in this situation! I can count on more than one hand the amount of people who have asked Jannie out as a sick joke! And laughed at him no matter the answer! You hear me? I've Always protected him and I won't let you go and--"

"Ladies are we having a good time" Janus greeted as he came back into the room.

Virgil stood up and pushed the chair back to the desk "I was actually learning this twat here some words he could have use of. Like...Rabies!"

"Remus-Darling you simply have to set me up for a talk with your english teacher. I have to know what kind of teaching styles he uses because your intake of words is legitimately impressive" Virgil's already annoyed expression mulled over even more as Janus said the compliment.

"Me and Logan teacher have the same language. It helps"

"Fascinating. I'm sure I could find some studies regarding that helping in learning new languages" Janus weaved his fingers together and moved lightly back and forth on the toes of his feet "Sssssso, shall we get going?"

"No Showing me around?" Remus waved around at the room.

Out of the corner of his eye Janus could see Virgil motioning to puking "No darling. I think I can give you a proper introduction to my room some other time"

Remus opened the car door for Janus like he'd seen in the movies before sliding across the hood to get into the driver's seat. He stared at the dozens of buttons, numbers and fingamadings before deciding to simply kick his foot into the pedal and try to keep the car somewhat going in a straight line.

As soon as the car rived up Janus let out a yelp before grabbing ahold of the panic grip in the ceiling. "Roleplaying a fast and furious movie is definitely my favorite kind of date. Yep, yep yep yep yep" He let out a nervous laugh "SSSWEETIE, Reminder that my parents died in a carcrash!"

The car dropped to a sudden crawl making Remus lunge forward and nearly hit his forehead against the steering wheel. Janus tried to reach out to see if he was okay but the demon waved it off. The wheel had turned moist from his hands sweating and they hadn't even left college ground yet.

"I have not been on date before" Remus blurted out.

Janus quieted.

"I have been with humans. Lots of humans. Part of my uhh job you know, But never walked on date" He continued.

"Lucky for you I am so incredibly experienced there is no possibility of this going wrong" Janus reached out and placed his hand atop of Remus' hand on the steering wheel and the demon could feel how fast the human's pulse was beating "This is my first time too"

Remus let up into a smile and gave his date a quick glance before continuing to look at the road. The car swerved and curved but didn't go too fast and the air suddenly felt easier to breathe.

"I was looking at normal date spots and seen this lake. Pretty popular in summer. Thought it be nice. Driving. Criving. Niving. Fiving. Fisting"

"Only two of those were words"

"I know"

"Popular in summer huh" Janus leant back in his seat "What you're telling me is that it will be avoid of any people expect for us right now. Oh dear you really are planning on killing me. How flattering"

Remus' horns began to shine a bright crimson red as his heart skipped a beat "H- HOw did you know!?"

Jan laughed "You're a good actor dear"

"Oh....Jokes. yes. Hahahahaha. Murder. My favorite joke! Right after disemmemberment!!"

"Is it a long drive? Does your car have bluetooth or shall I simply rawdog it and hope my phone can be loud enough for both of us to hear the music?"

There was a knife laying in the backseat of the car. If Remus checked in the mirror he could see the edge of it faintly glimmering as it laid half stuck out from where he'd hidden it.

"Are we in the mood for some musical classics? A bit of razzle dazzle, some cabaret, even some Funny girl if we're feeling dramatic" Janus continued. He saw the puzzled look on Remus face and added "Ah, perhaps a bit too showey for a late night date innit"

A slash across the throat would be quick, only a few minutes of bleeding out. It would probably not even be that painful since the shock wouldn't have time to subside. He could lay Janus' body out in the water. There was no need to bother making it look like an accident, a drowning, car crash, even a fall, he wouldn't have to care about the police anyhow once the deed was done and he could return to Hell like normal. He missed the slight smoke always hanging in the air. Earth air was too clean.

"Maybe some jazz? Don't tell me you're one of those who refuse to listen to any jazz. It's alright if youre simply scared off by its deep history but I can show you some of my favorites. The clazzics if you will...with Z instead of S, you get me!"

Choking him to death could also work. If he suffocated him by pressing an object to his face until he passed out it would be less painful...Not that the amount of pain mattered as long as he died. Remy could be being hurt right now. Emile could be all alone. Roman could- He couldn't think about that right now. He had to focus.

"If we really want to get into the mood I could put on some R&B classics. Peronsally I lean more into the alternative sort of R&B, the Twigs, Szas, etc etc. Fiona Apples even! if we want to get into alternative rock. but while I am a snob and a judgy bitch I am certaintly not above some Whitney uh some Mariah. Aretha even. I mean I'm gay and black I think there would be a warrant for my arrest ready if I didn't"

Running him over with the car was always an option though, and while thinking this Remus sneaked a glance at the human, he wanted to make the death as painless as possible. He could have fun harming humans some other time. For some reason he just didn't like the idea of Janus in prolonged pain. It was a good thing he didn't have to worry about cops. With the scar on his face the human would be easily recognizable even as a corpse.

"Hey" Janus snapped his fingers "Remus? Forgot to pick an option in the dialogue tree?"

Remus snapped back to the present and tried to remember what they were talking about "Music? Oh uh I know Music uhh" He began to humm a tune and tap his finger against the wheel while trying to drag any human song he could remember forward "Ahh Where they all uhh live where they run where they something something all day in the sun. Wishin could be wandering free uhh part of your world??"

Janus smiled watching the demon scrunch his nose and furrow his eyebrows together while sing-mumbling the words out. His voice was stale, shrill and way out of pitch but it was sort of cute in a lame way.

"Is that...The little mermaid?" The human guessed.

"Uhh yeah" Remus forced a smile "My brother's favorite song" He hadn't been fully aware that was Roman's favorite, the information was ingrained in his mind in the same way the urge to fly south lays in the mind of a bird "He loves musicals aaand that is why we will not listen to musicals"

"Understandable, though you will have to hear my incredible rendition of don't rain on my parade someday"

"Would not wanna miss it, except if beheadings was happening at the same time"

The human put on a calm playlist of jazz before looking out the window to see the last remnants of the day's light disappear behind the tops of the trees in the distance. Thick clouds had started to roll in but it hadn't started raining just yet. The last few people were driving home from work. Remus was headbanging along to the smooth trumpets which made Janus laugh.

"Want a riddle?" Janus asked.

"Bro that sounds like a a uhhhh......scary thing..."

"Threat?"

"Yeah! Threat!"

"As any normal person does I have a riddle app on my phone. It's definitely not right next to my murder mystery app"

Remus switched positions to only have to hold the wheel with one hand as the traffic lessened "Hit me..In the uhh theoryetical way not in kinky way"

"There are two men who each have a backpack . One of the men are dead. The man who is alive has his backpack open and the man who is dead has his backpack closed. What is in the dead man’s backpack?"

Janus had a smug look on his face as he waited for his date to think.

"...A whole pile of blades that SLAsh went right through backpack and into soft human meat!!" Remus answered with full confidence.

"Wow, what an adorable attempt" The demon didn't notice the sarcasm, his tail simply wagged at the compliment "Correct answer is a parachute"

"Load another up sir!"

"You are my brother, but I am not your brother. Who am I?"

"J-Anus babeybitch we are Not related!"

"It's the riddle you daft muppet"

"Oh......uhmmmm......Reverse brother !"

"Wha- Well sure. The correct answer is sister so I suppose..you are right..."

His tail continued to wag making the back of his seat warm "Another! Another! My brain is sooo fucking WIGGLY right now!"

"Whatever you say. A barrel of water weighed 60 pounds. Someone put something in it and now it weighs 40 pounds. What did the person add?"

"OH! I know right one! HOLE! A hole! Issa hole!....Hehehe hole....INNIT!" He mimicked the human's accent on the last word.

"Correct!" Janus leant closer to him and murmured into his ear "What a good boy you are"

"THAMKS! Iam great hole finder! Hole expert! Great hole guy!"

"I'm sure you are darling"

Remus let his hand wander across the armrest that was the only small distance between them. He felt for Janus' reaction as he placed his hand against his knee. For a moment the human tensed from surprise before his knee went soft again. The demon rubbed his finger in a circle against the light fabric of the skirt keeping their skin separated.

"Your clothes look good" The demon said.

"Thanks. Yours too, what there is of them. There is for sure no chance of you catching a cold"

"Eh" he shrugged "I'm hotblooded"

The car took a sharp turn as they exited the main road and the lake entered the view. It was hard to make out on a starless evening, besides they were on the hill overlooking the lake not beside it. There was a small parking lot meant for stopping at to take a view but since no one except for them were there Remus drove right to the edge of the hill and parked right next to the railing. Janus lowered the volume of the music and for a few moments neither of them spoke.

The sound of the carbelts unbuckling and the slight rustle from the bushes around them mixed with the low jazz was the only sound heard.

"Hope I calling this a date was okay before. I know this is not romantic" Remus eventually got out. His stomach was turning but he wasn't sure if it was from hunger or not wanting to be intimate.

"As long as we both are aware this is a casual thing it's okay. Earlier when you and Viv got your alone time I ran and bought some uh- wow I am feeling ssssoo mature for feeling embarassed over saying these words like Im freaking 5- I got condoms. You can just say if we need them or not, no detail needed. I just thought with your job-"

"Good braining! We don't!"

"Okay"

(In the early days of succubi they could spread STDs but it was quickly realized that far too many humans died for that to stay a possibility, especially during the black plague)

"I have slipper shit"

"Good. Good yeah"

The demon noticed Janus' hand moving up to instictly play with one of his dreadlocks before his hand stayed hung in the air as he remembered he'd put his hair in buns and let his hand fall down to his lap once more.

There was a naseua growing at the back of Remus' mouth that gave him the urge to put his fingers deep in his throat and pull it all out. Gag and spit and puke and saliva and anything that could distract him. His sight became a bit slurred as he began to space out.

"Sex. Sex time. Let's go" He mumbled in a tone uncharacteristicly emotionless.

Remus pulled off his tank top without much fanfaire and threw it into the back of the car before turning to Janus. The human's eyes jumped between his chest and his eyes and Remus made sure to wait a moment until his eyes had stagnated a bit before leaning forward to let his lips meet the skin of the human's neck.

Janus' hands hung in the air before he slowly moved his hand to lay against Remus' bare back. He could feel the shoulder blade moving under his fingertips while his heart raced so fast he could hear it pounding in his ears.

The feeding had started, It wasn't much though. It felt like popcorn seeds were being forced between his teeth and pushed down his throat one after the other. Tiny tiny hints of food only making his hunger more apparent.

He let his other hand slip down past Remus' neck and slid his finger along the collar bone. The demon stopped kissing his neck to instead watch Janus' face as the human moved his hand along Remus' chest, his eyes enamored and face slightly flushed.

The demon placed his knee against the middle arm rest to get closer while pressing his hand against the window behind Janus to keep himself from falling over. He went back to kissing the human's neck, edging up to right where his chin stopped and cheek started.

In his mind he was thinking of the latest human movies he'd seen. Saw 1-10 was a real hoot. Great way to forget how hungry he was. His eyes glazed over as he moved his other hand to roll the human's skirt up so it bunched up around his waist. His lips kissed where the smooth skin turned jagged and uneven as he placed his hand against his inner thigh (he hoped it would go by fast) before sliding his fingers higher up until-

Until the feeding stopped suddenly and before he could fully notice it he felt Janus hands pushing lightly against his chest. Not in the soft almost careful caress he'd done before. His eyes were looking away to some spot on the dashboard as he held Remus away ever so slightly.

Remus didn't move back but he did stop kissing him to instead meet his eyes "Something wrong?"

"I had..imagened it differently. This is so cramped and" Janus' eyes flickered back and forth "I thought I was ready" His voice wavered just a bit.

The demon eyed the other man's face up and down "...How did you ever get that scar anyway?"

The look in Janus' eyes changed in an instant. There were sudden tears brimming at the edges with a just as sudden look of anger and disgust right behind the tears as he stared at Remus.

"What kiND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT MID FUCK!?"

His voice wavered under the rage as he pushed Remus away hard enough to knock him back to his seat. His head hadn't even hit the window before Janus had opened the car door and slammed it shut behind him.

Remus gasped for breathe as he felt something crawl up his throat. He pushed the car door slightly ajar to hang his head out and puke onto the dirt underneath him. The puke was almost all stomach acid and water and the little feeding he had gotten from Janus must have disappeared down into the ground.

The rain quickly drained the puke away, Remus quietly watched it as it ran down to the edge of the hill before disappearing down the cliffside. Janus running away must have been a blessing in disguise because he would not have been able to hold back his disgust the entire way through. But had that been enough? Could he kill janus now? He glanced back at the seat where the knife was hidden...it was probably best to ask Logan first to be sure. He shuddered at the possibilities of what could happen to Roman if he came back with a dead but non sinning Janus.

If only Roman had been forced to do this instead of him. She would have known exactly what to do, what to say. He could have seduced Janus within a day. Everything would already be back to normal.

The seat where Janus had sat was still warm as Remus pressed his hand against it. He took a deep breathe and rested his head in his hands for a few minutes before putting on his tank top again and stepping out into the rain.

His body couldn't take him standing up so suddenly so he had to lean against the car as his sight spun and his legs trembled. Instead of screaming for his body to stop shaking he hit his fist against the top of the car.

He held his tail above his head to try and lessen the rain someway, at least the ground was all muddy and nice to skip through. The human wasn't anywhere in the parking lot so Remus sniffed in the air instead and followed the citrus smell to the other side of the road where the bushes growing were closer together and the ground uneven.

A hint of blue light came from somewhere between the bushes and Remus followed it to find Janus sitting on a log texting on his phone. He didn''t notice the demon so Remus decided to sneak up behind him and lean his arms over the human's head to shield him from the rain. He sucked in a big gulp of air before screaming

"BOO BITCH!!"

Janus didn't answer, he didn't even get scared.

"You're being boring"

Remus sat down beside him and stuck out his tongue to try and gauge a reaction, followed by silly expression, wild hand waving, poking his nose, farting and as a last resort making puppy eyes while pouting. Finally he tried poking at Janus but that only made the human smack his hand away.

"Oh fabolous idea! Really rub your grubby lil hands all over huh!? Very appreciated!"

The demon was pretty sure that was sarcasm. He tried to move his head to see the phone screen "Who you texting? Is it saaatan?? Done any sins recently??? Sins worth death???"

"You could never possible guess who Im texting, I just have such an unimaginable array of trusted allies and dear friends and I totally do not only have 1 singular friend at all in the whole world. I am just so fucking caked up with friends. schedules all packed!"

"......Have I.....Done something....?"

"No! Obviously not! Never!" Janus put his phone down and let out the longest of sighs "Cant you just drive me home? Or are you planning on stranding me here and letting me ruin my nice sweater even more. Fuck! I used my nice sweater for this you fucking asshole!!......Im kidding. I used my worst piece of shit shirt or someting. yada yada lies lies" his legs were bouncing so fast mud was kicking up onto his skirt "And don't you dare touch me!"

Remus didn't understand but he still replied "No touching, I prommy....but you missing out on me sexyli carrying you to the car so your shoes do not get worse"

"Please sweetie" janus rolled his eyes while standing up and dusting off the back of his skirt "Your arms are the size of cigarettes, I doubt you would ever be able to carry me. Honey you are allll legs"

"That's not true! Im also a penis!"

"You're doing a great job at thinking with it" The mumbled way Janus said it was a stark contrast to how he'd teased Remus before.

The demon followed the human back to the car with his tail between his legs. Even from just the small amount of time they'd been outside they were both still sopping wet enough to dampen the seats. When Remus saw his date shuddering he slammed all of the buttons on the dashboard until he found the heater.

"My friend says wet feet makes illness" Remus commented while thinking of Emile.

"Eureka! What a never before stated glimpse of wisdom. Be a dear and just start driving already"

The jazz playlist was still going as they began the drive home. Every now and then Remus glanced over to his date but each time he looked Janus was just sitting curdled up with his body leant as close to the car door as possible. His arms were around himself to try and gather warmth as he stared out the window.

"If I was making an army I would want you on my side be cause you're very mega smart" Remus said to try and cheer him up.

"Who cares about being smart when you can't do anything useful with it, or anything at all for that matter"

"...Well.....You can...say cool facts..."

The barely begun conversation died out into silence. That was Remus theory anyhow: that Hell must want to make sure that Janus lands in Hell so he can help them against Heaven somehow. It was the only thing that made sense for now.

It was a smooth ride home with few cars on the road which was a lucky coincidence because Remus had gotten so hungry his eyes were going in and out of focus the entire way. He stopped in the middle of the parking lot in front of the College campus and was digging around in his mind for a cool movie line to say to end of the date succesfully. Janus was already getting out of the car before he'd come up with anything to say so Remus ran after which only made his head spin.

"Wait! Janny boy! UHhh AHH Epic Date!?"

"I suppose I should say thanks for driving me. Tell me if I should pay you back for the gas-"

"Oh nah I stole th- NOpe! Not needed thanks! Ehh Do Do you not want me to walk you to your door?"

"As you can see I have my own legs so no thank you"

"When you wanna meet a-"

Janus pressed his finger against Remus' lips "Shush. Stay."

He moved his finger away and when Remus didn't say anything he caressed the demon's chin.

"Good boy. Now, Have a good night. Goodbye"

With that Janus turned around and walked away. Remus stayed standing there until his date had disappeared into one of the dorm houses.

His heart started to race. Oh Satan he'd failed. He'd- He wouldn't get to see Roman for however long. He thought it'd be over. He thougt he- Not Remy or Emile either. He couldn't know if they were okay. He thought it would be easy- It should have been easy.

His stomach growled and it was about then Remus completely dissociated away into a daydream where he could put The Manager into a saw trap without any consequenses. His body got back into the car and drove away from the campus and into the middle of town. Somewhere along the way he crashed into a mailbox and slammed his horns into the dashboard. It wasn't his car so his body just got out and started walking towards the nearest club he could see.

All of the sounds of humans talking and the faint music coming from inside the building were all muffled to Remus' ears. Everything was just shapes. Nothing tangetible. Nothing real.

Except for a sudden smell that made him break out into coughs. His eyes were still out of focus as Remus looked around while holding his hands over his nose. The smell was so sticky sweet it felt like acid was flowing into his nostrils.

Finally he saw a figure kneeling down beside a human that had fallen asleep on the lawn outside the club. Looking directly at it made his eyes water and the hairs on his arms raise.

It was a fucking Angel.

It had hidden it's wings and halo from the humans but Remus could see them clear as day. Stupid Angels always having their wings out, that's why he never summoned his. And with their just as stupid horns that went round their head to connect to each other, stupid them for being obnoxious enough to call it a halo.

It noticed him just as quickly and held up the water bottle as if to show him it was only here to help the humans. Remus in return hissed at it to which it fully opened up it's large wings to scare him off. He told himself he only walked away because he disliked the smell, he had humans to feed off of anyway.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #thomas sanders #tss #janus sanders #dukeceit #demus #what if you were an asexual succubus wouldnt that be fucked up or what

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asksuccubussides · 3 months

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What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 12

Masterpost of chapters

When supernaturals speak in their native language it looks like this

Logan blared at the younger demon from the brim of his chunky glasses before he took them off to clean the glass with the blue cloth he kept in his chest pocket.

"It has been 37 days if my counting is correct, and it is" Remus looked up from the english homework he'd been doing as Logan spoke "That is an unusually long time for a job like this to drag on for. Is it the killing you are having trouble with? You remember I told you to come to me once you had seduced him, do you not? I can offer assistance"

The younger demon mimicked stabbing before doing a thumbs up. 'Killing fine' He wrote on the paper with 4 exclamation points to be extra clear.

"I see" Logan checked the glasses before putting them on again. He scratched the end of his thumb against a spot in his greying beard ".....Remus, Do you experience sexual attractation?"

The blood in the tips of Remus' fingers turned cold. Was it meant as a warning, a threat or a simple question to see if he was so obviously bad for the job that they could send him up to heaven and replace him with someone else and also probably send Roman up to heaven as well while they were at it and it would be his fault and-

Remus nodded and gave a double thumbs up while smiling so brightly he could be put as the poster child for sexual attraction.

"Well then. I suppose I'll see you in a few days if you have nothing more to add" Logan stayed sitting for a few moments after saying it as if he was waiting for the other demon to do something but eventually he got up, took his bag and left.

Soon after he had left Remus noticed blood dripping down from his nose.

39 days since Remus was cast out of hell

"Aw, look these are all of my saved vip bracelets because I am such a popular starlet" Janus showed Remus a bundle of flimsy and aging paper bracelets held together in a jar together with some other knick knacks. He snickered at the genuine look of curiosity on the demon's face "I could pretend to take your nose and you would believe it, you absolute stupid collection of tiny brain cells"

Remus moved his arm casually around Janus' shoulder to get a better look of the bracelets "What!? Not vip thingie!? Bracelet for ritual then?"

"Well.....Perhaps if you look at it from a very specific angle" Remus sneezed at how close the word angle was to angel.

They were sitting on the floor of Janus' dorm room, sorting out the things to keep and things to discard before the imminent move to the new apartment. With one of the paper bracelets held between his fingers Jan waved it towards Virgil who had been laying in his bed looking at youtube videos and halfheartedly sorting his clothes into a box. He moved one side of his headphones off his ear while giving them an annoyed look.

"Viv-darling, Look"

"Ouugh. I knew packing would lead to nostalgia shit"

Finally Jan turned back to the demon to explain, the demon who had started to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet while pressing his knees to his chest like an excited gargoyle.

"They're all of the hospital bracelets I got when I was younger" Janus explained. All of the information that was usually placed on a hospital bracelet were impossible to read as the entire thing had been covered with skulls and lightning bolts drawn in black and purple along with text written in by marker "Vivzie would make them look like concert bracelets or more accurately what a child thought concert bracelets were. Very cool concerts of course. Right Viv"

Virgil had his head stuffed inside one of the halfpacked boxes "Yeah. Yeah. I got my matching ones here somewhere. Can't be arsed to find them"

"His are just paper. Not exclusive hospital ones like miiinnnee" Janus said to Remus to which the demon booed in agreement. "Let's see which cool concerts we were apparently going to"

He picked a random bracelet and held it for the demon to read. Jan looped his finger around Remus' choker and pulled him closer to get his focus but really it was just because he enjoyed pulling him around.

The demon squinted and read aloud "Av- Avrel Laevinge"

Janus fake gasped "What a cool and outrageous artist"

"Hey! We were like 7! It's not like I came out the bloody womb knowing who My chem was! And don't disrespect Avril's legacy!"

"He's so cute when he gets annoyed, innit?" Janus teased to which Remus nodded along.

Virgil rolled his eyes before moving out of bed "Whatever. I'm taking a silly little mental health walk so you two can smosh and shag it out"

"We don't smoosh! And we certaintly don't shag!" Janus put his hand over his heart to look offended "We're packing! Obviously!"

"Yeah! I'm packing huge penis!" Remus added with full confidence which only made Virgil leave the room even faster.

As the door closed Janus grabbed both ends of Remus' mustache and gently shook his head around while murmuring "Darling you are so stupid" Before pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.

It made the demon happily wag his tail around and for the first time he wished he could show Janus it. He wished he could show him how intensely red his horns glowed whenever the two of them got close and he wished he could tell him how his mouth watered every time he thought of tasting him.

"Anyhow, you can be a dear and fold all of my sweaters into that box while I sit here and be pretty"

Remus did a stupid little grin "If I get anotha kith"

"Oooh you're really trying it aren't you mister. Weren't you the one who agreed to do what I say for forever" Janus teased before kissing him on the cheek "There there darling. Now do what I said"

"Yess sir ma'am!!"

In the time leading up to their date to pride Remus found himself in a routine. He had completely lost the ability to sleep at this point because of recurring dreams containing his brother plaguing his mind every time he tried to so close his eyes. Instead he spent his time hiding out in the library creating little lumps of garbage art and looking at horror films. His by now daily nosebleeds were a great resource because it meant he could plaster weird blood snot onto his garbage art!

The delight of his day was when Janus come in for work and he got to tell him about the latest film he'd seen during his lunch break.

Some days Janus invited him over for dinner at the dorm and sometimes he stayed to watch movies together with him and Virgil afterwards. Whenever it was a horror movie Virgil would spill out every trivia he could think of while blaring at Remus in an attempt to show that he was much cooler and every time Janus invited Remus to share a blanket with him it looked like a blood vessel was about to pop in Virgil's forehead.

Neither of the roomates had the funds to afford a moving service so for the two days before the actual move Remus helped them carry boxes on the bus from the college to their new apartment. It was a tiny one room apartment technically meant for one person but they had managed to press in a bunk bed along with a desk, the tiniest of sofas and a dinner table. The biggest loss was honestly the lack of wall space for Virgil's many posters and Janus having had to restort to putting drawers under the bed to fit all of his clothes.

Remus' vision had started to fill with dark spots as he put down the last box on the floor of the new apartment and laughed at the pang of hunger filling his stomach. (He'd gotten a nosebleed on the bus on the way here. Emile always told him with a worried look that that was a sign of nutritional deficiencies).

"Vivzie says he'll pick up some groceries and then come here" Janus said while checking his phone.

The demon lifted his shirt up to wipe a few pearls of sweat away from his forehead so he could lick the sweat off his shirt. Yummy. When he looked back up Janus was right about to poke him between the ribs.

"You're stronger than you look" Jan murmured while Remus wheezed from the sudden blow to his ribs.

"Ah! That felt fun! Do that again!" He sounded like a delighted balloon on it's way to deflation when Jan poked him again.

With the wheezing he barely even heard Janus letting out a big long sigh as he looked around the apartment before stretching his arms out "It is ssssuch a horrible no good at all feeling to finally be almost done with this whole moving process. Hopefully Vivzie is going to have less bouts of stressing his hair out now. And" He spun around and pulled in Remus' collar to make him bend down so they were eye to eye. "You can come over for dinner on Saturday night. Viv has a night shift. Sounds good?"

"I got nothing else to do! I can come...Hehe..cum"

"Good!"

Remus took two of Janus' dreadlocks in his hand and held them up in the air to make a sort of heart shape "Hey Jannie look" The demon lit up like the sun when he saw the other man smile and quickly pulled him into a bear hug making Jan's face get pressed right into his chest "You're the only light in my life right now Janus"

As he spoke the last sentence in his native language he realized it was the first time he had said the other man's name in his natural accent. It felt like a lighting bolt had been struck down upon his head making his skin sizzle and burn away as he heard himself say it.

"What did you say?" Janus' voice was muffled from still being pressed against man tits.

"I wish I could kill you without making you disappe-"

He was cut off by the sound of Janus' phone ringing. He quickly backed out of the hug and took the call while turning his face away. After a few seconds of muffled words he placed his hand against Remus' shoulder and pushed for him to turn to the exit.

"I have to leg it but I suppose I'll see you on Saturday" Janus held the phone away from his head while saying it.

"Wha- Whu-"

"Viv's having a panic attack, I have to go" He was practically pushing the demon out the door.

(Janus found his friend a few minutes later in a panicked state of trying to appear norma while pacing back and forth behind the supermarket. He let Virgil's words of worry spill out over him, about how it had been too many people, how it was stupid he couldn't grocery shop alone, how it was simple for normal people. Before Jan placed Virgil's hand to his neck so he could feel the pulse of the blood pumping in Jan's neck against the tips of fingers. It was the best way to keep him in the present and to remind him they were both alive and well.

He stayed and waited until Virgil had stopped shaking. Just like he had yesterday when Virgil became overwhelmed by talking to the landlord and the day before that when the prospect of packing up the last things was too much and just like he would tomorrow morning when he will wake up to Virgil hyperventilating because of the dead bird laying outside their door. He would let his friend hear the steady rhytmn of his heart until he was okay again every time).

44 days since Remus was cast out of hell

Remus started to cough from the sickingly sweet smell that followed Virgilbefore he even had had the chance to hear the emo's dragging footsteps come towards him. Instead of turning around to greet him the demon skipped back to the most gruesome scene of the movie he was watching so when Viv came up to him he would be grossed out.

The demon grinned as he felt a tap against his shoulder before hearing a groan of disgust. He spun around in his chair just as Viv was about to start speaking to catch him off guard.

"Hiii Virginnn" He felt a lump in his throat that made it harder to breathe as soon as he said it.

In response Virgil crossed his arms in a supposed attempt to look more intimidating though it didn't do much against the way he stood with his shoulders slumped and back crooked like a shrimp making him appear way tinier than he actually was. His bangs falling in front of his eyes so that he constantly had to readjust them to see properly didn't help either.

"I know you're coming over tomorrow 'cause everything Janus knows eventually comes around to me knowing-"

"Is Jannie not like constant lying though" Remus interrupted.

"Not to me. Though if that's your impression of him maybe your relationship is kinda fraught and fucked up" Virgil stopped for a moment as if he was trying to remember what he had practiced to say beforehand "Look, I think you're uhh dodgy as all hell and uh yeah I wanted to talk to you but" He glanced around the other people in the library "In a less crowded place"

"As all of Hell!?" He pouted and fluttered his eyelids "You proooomiiiseeee I'm as dodgy as ALL of hell! That's so sweet!! OH! AH! VIrgin! I'd love to!!"

The demon jumped up from his seat and threw his arm tightly around Virgil's shoulders. He pressed the man close to his side and shook him lightly around while beggining to walk.

"Dude, Aren't you going to turn the computer off-"

"SO WHERE YOU WANNA GO?! To the CEMTARY!? To the CLUB! To the CORONER! Another place starting with C!? To a CUNT!?"

His smile widened when he saw the emo's cheeks begin to light up bright red from blushing "Can you quiet down"

"NO!"

Virgil hurried his steps to get out of the library with the demon continuing to hang on. Remus even got up on the tips of his toes as he walked so he could rub his chin against the top of Virgil's head which made the emo swat him away like a fly before pulling his hood up. He saw the disabled restroom right outside of the library and bolted for it.

As soon as the two of them had gotten into the spacious for a restroom but still quite small room Virgil pushed the other man away from himself and turned to lock the door behind them.

"OOOOoohHHHhh! For someone named Virgin you a lot more forward horny than I think! Public bathroom,,,,At school!! Is this some kink-"

"SHut up! Shut up! You don't know me and you certaintly don't know Janus! You come into our lives and prance around for like a month and suddenly you think you're as bloody tight as ever with him!?"

"Heheh...come"

Virgil took a step towards the demon "Dude, When are you going to leave?"

"Why should I?" Remus shot right back.

"'Cause you will! Eventually! I can tell you that you're just here to hurt him-"

"What do you even study? I mean you are busy often, what do you do" The demon interrupted making the other man get caught of guard.

"Not like- Dude You don't have to know that- I was saying-"

"I bet it is some nerd shit like computer tapping"

"It's a vocational program! I'm studying building and shit! I like keeping my hands busy to not feel anxious, okay! I got a truck certificate!" Virgil shook his head and took a deep breathe "You're just taking the piss out on me! I'm not stupid! I can tell! This isn't what the conversation is about!"

"The conversation is about human skeleton"

"NO! Oh god you are stupid! I don't understand what Jannie sees in you"

"He sees I'm stupid" Remus replied with a smile shining of blind self confidence.

Virgil took another step closer making the demon naturally lean back to avoid him making his back touch against the wall. The man moved close to him and held his finger up to the demon's neck while etching his eyes into his.

"You're going to hurt him!" He practically hissed you "And I won't let you!"

"....How would I?....Describe it.. Will it be with a knife or a suffocation or what"

The demon expected some sort of blabber from the human about how he was going to hurt Janus emotionally or perhaps by leaving or something similarly metaphorical. Instead Virgil kept his wide staring eyes locked into his and pushed his finger into Remus' chest.

"I can't tell you that. But you will"

"...."

Remus tried to come up with a response but he couldn't. Instead he let up into a raspy laugh as he grabbed lightly around the other man's hand and forced it away from his chest.

"Are you trying to seem threatening. Genuine question. I can't tell"

A wrinkle of annoyance appeared besides Virgil's mouth as he let up into some sort of growl which Remus took as a yes.

"You bad at it! BAD! Here, Daddy Remus will teach"

"I don't-"

With a hard push right into Virgil's spine he was forced to straighten his back making his bones let out a groaning crack before Remus grabbed ahold of his shoulders and pushed them back just as hard.

"Yeaaah Puff your chest out! Daydream a picture of big proud bird! Puff puff!"

The demon caressed his finger under Virgil's chin for a moment before pushing his face up as well followed by flicking his bangs back with his long boney fingers so Viv's eyes became fully visible. Remus had expected an annoying cold blue eye color but in actuallity he had quite a dull average kind of brown. He licked the tips of his fingers before moving them against Virgil's eyesbrows so they were properly furrowed in rage.

"HAH! Now you look much scary. And to finish here I will show you"

Remus pressed his back against the wall before setting Virgil's hands on the collar of his shirt. He gave a cocky smile while waving his finger towards him.

"Come on Virgin boy. REally puSH! With ANGER! Make it seem like you're killing me!"

He pulled Virgil closer to himself to make his grip near his neck stronger.

"Push me into the wall till my back breaks!!"

Without any warning Virgil pushed forward and kissed the demon so hard it knocked the back of his head again the wall.

For a moment Virgil's hand flew up to grasp at Remus' hair as he stared wide eyed at the human. A wave of lust of massive size was forced down his throat all at once making it impossible to gasp for air. It filled his mouth so tightly it felt as if it would all spill out if he even moved.

But it was only for a second and then Virgil's eyes flew just as wide open as the demon's and his gaze flickered between their forced together lips and a spot right above Remus' hair before he broke from the kiss and backed as far away as he could.

"I- I am- I'm sorry" He stuttered as he desperately wiped away at his lips with the back of his hoodie sleeve. A slideshow of expressions all passed upon his face in the matter of a second.

"That was the horniest kiss I've ever had" The demon mumbled to himself.

As Remus sucked in a hasty breath he could feel some of the lust spill out between his lips and dribble down his chin as the saliva from the other man dried on his skin. He shook his head and looked up to see Virgil pacing back and forth while his fingers constantly ran up and down his long bangs.

"I get that for humans- uhh humans in this country coming out is like big thing" Remus said while trying to look friendly "But you coulda just told me you liked guys and cock and ba-"

"SHUT UP!"

The scream was so loud Remus could swear the mirror shook ever so slightly. Virgil's expression had stagnated on a vile snear.

"YOU- YOU SEDUCED ME! YOU DIRTY FUCKING DEMON!"

"Hey!-"

"YOU KISSED ME! YOU HEAR THAT! I WOULD- I AM NOT- I WOULD NEVER KISS SOMEONE LIKE YOU!"

"Buddy I'm-"

"THIS IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF SHIT YOU'D DO TO JANUS! AND- AND I WOULD NEVER! I- I WOULD-" Virgil scrambled for words as his body trembled. His chin tensed up making it clear he was holding back tears "YOU'RE DISGUSTING AND-"

"I sure am"

"-I WON'T LET YOU HURT JANUS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN AND HAVE- WHAT I WOULD DO FOR HIM!"

"Apparently you won't come out for him uhuhuh" Remus let up into a snort to himself but his chuckles died out when Virgil started to cry "Woah uhhh man dude. Dude? You like saying dude. Dude uh I mean that kiss uhh clearly you got a lot of like shit and fuck pented up. Have you tried uh jerking off. I dunno. Do you need a napkin or do you want to snot into my shir-"

"I NEED YOU AND YOUR UGLY MUG TO DISAPPEAR!"

"Heyyy just 'cause I'm planning on killing the guy doesn't mean you have to insult my face! hehe that was a joke. Very joke!"

With his adrenaline pumping Virgil moved to unlock the door but missed several times before his shaking hands actually reached the doorhandle. He cast one last look back at the demon and hissed out "You better not show up at the apartment tomorrow!!"

The day after Remus showed up at the apartment just a bit after the time he and Janus had planned because he had been stealing another car in preparation for driving his human friend into town to go to the pride even. Virgil would have already left for his night shift by the time he got there and he didn't really take the emo's threats seriously anyway. In a way he even appreciated it because that kiss had been so jampacked with lust despite not being an inherently sexual act that he was pretty sure he would be able to survive for a few more days without having to feed off of a human.

"Here we are, my dear disgusting little lump of muscle tissue, first day of june. Happy pride"

Janus held up his glass of wine and let it clink together with his date's before Remus dunked the whole glass back like it was a shot. For dinner Jan had pulled together his collective knowledge of cooking and managed to make pasta with some cold brocolii and the cheapest fish he could find at the local store.

"Obligatory mention that I looove rainbow capitalism and all it stands for, Of courssssseee. I just love society and its devilish systems and how no one can truly be free from it and I just have to buy an overpriced piece of..."

Janus went on for another couple minutes of sarcastically licking boot to which Remus listened but didn't understand most of it "This is really good" He said as a fish bone got stuck between his teeth.

"Well thank you"

They hadn't yet had time to buy chairs for the apartment so the two of them had to cram together on the couch after having dragged the dinner table right next to it. The demon was sitting like a goblin while Janus was tapping his feet so hard the table was in a constant state of slight vibration.

"Y'know" Remus continued with his cheeks filled with pasta "Where I'm from we not really come out. Not real necessary but I and my brother been to pride before because lots of fucking and sucking-"

Janus choked on his wine.

"-So are we sucking or fucking first tomorrow?"

Janus coughed so hard some of the wine went up into his nose. "You know what, I was actually meaning to tell you something after we saw that lovely rendition of Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf but I seemed to have forgotten" He swiftly changed the subject "Me and Virgil didn't just move for a change of scenery. It was actually because I have dropped out of university"

Remus choked on the pasta he'd been slurping and coughed it up onto his plate before not to discreetly chugging the gunk into his mouth again.

"But you're so smart!" He exclaimed with a mouth full of gunk.

"But it made me miserable! Besides we all know Universities and higher learning in general are old structures built on racism and sexism. I mean I heard Cambridge didn't even have a black society until 2005, that's younger than I am!"

"But you're" The demon waved his fork around while searching for words "You're so smart! You're like made for school and learning and shit! If you were made for something you gotta do it!"

"I don't have to do anything. Ever. Except maybe breathe if I care to do so"

"But like...Y'know if a guy don't get scared when seeing dead people he's kinda made for being dead person guy-"

"A mortician?"

"YeS! A mormon! And it's kinda" Remus kept waving his fork around as his forehead became more and more wrinkled "There is this story from my home but uhh I have never told it in english so..." He trailed off.

"It's hard to translate, innit?" The demon nodded to which Janus put his elbows on the table and let his head rest against the palms of his hand "Take your time. We have a whole wine bottle to go through"

Remus played with the pasta left on his plate while thinking of how to formulate it until the pasta had been molded into a tiny little blob "So everyone is molded to be good at shit but this guy Patton-"

Janus let up into a snort "Is he the bad guy?"

"Yeah uh sorta"

He laughed "Of course, what a asshole name"

"Yeah and Patton was good at his shit but got bored or something and" He smoshed the pasta blob with his fork "And went against what he was molded to do Y'know? He ate people and uhhh like was a total traitor to his like home!"

Janus mouth dropped at the sudden inclusion of cannibalism in this otherwise quite normal sounding tale. ".....And then...??"

"Then he never got caught! But he's totally bad! Traitor bitch! And that proves is wrong to uhhhh not do what you are literally made for"

"Darling that doesn't make the slightest bit of sense"

Remus was reminded that he and Janus were truly different species. He would never be able to explain to him that he had literally been created to fullfill certain human's desire to fuck twins and that something must have gone wrong with him in particular.

The demon shrugged "Life is misery anyway. Screaming and bLOOD all over. So if you're made for something you do it even if it is misery. You get?"

Janus leant back in his seat and sipped from his wine glass "Frankly? No. I am simply not built to lift a single finger if I do not proper want to. The bloody queen could be dying in front of me and I would be able to stop it by the click of a button and if I didnt feel arsed to do it, which I dont, I wouldnt do it.....And that's how she died. Cheers!"

They clinked their glasses together and Remus downed his like a shot once again before tapping his fingers against the empty glass.

"....But you have to, if you're made for it" He finally said.

"Dear now you're going into the nature vs nurture debate and whether we have free will or not and those have bloody decades of discussions around it which I would soooo loathe to discuss for the next hour....But we also have dishes to clean. Feel like killing two stones with one bird darling?"

Naturally Remus had never really washed dishes before since if he ate he didn't bother with utensils and such but he tried to mimic his human friend's behavior the best he could while trying not to get distracted by all the wonderful gross leftover food bits. The sink was so small his hip touched against Jan's as the human scrubbed a plate while going on about philosophers. The situation felt like such a human thing to do it nearly felt traitorious to do it.

He wondered if Patton ever washed a dish. He had been wondering more and more often if Patton had done the things he was doing. If Patton ever drank wine together with the human or the angel that he ended up murdering, fucking or eating in the end (whichever version of the story one prefered).

"I wanna do dishes with you again sometime" Remus mumbled to which Janus let out a chuckle.

"Sure dear. Your imagination is really running wild about our future with that one innit"

"I'm letting my imagination go away on thinking of how to kill with this fork!" Remus quickly changed the subject "I could shove it up someones ass or gouge out eyeball or use it with a hammer to crack up skull like fragile egg!"

Janus put the last plate away before turning to Remus and putting a hand against his hip "I've noticed you like to threaten with ass shoving as a form of murder. How exactly do you think that would go about killing a person?"

"Easy. Object pops hole in rectum. Bleeding. Dies of bleeding"

"...I....I didn't actually expect an anatomically plausible response"

Remus shrugged "I love corpses" He was close to falling away into daydreams of his days of going into morgues and staring at cut up bodies before he shook his head and added "I mean I love watching corpses on film. Documentaries. Innit?"

He snorted "Say innit again"

"Innit"

Janus pressed a kiss to Remus' cheek and murmured "It sounds so cute in your accent"

The demon shone up into such a bright smile even his mustache turned upwards at the ends.

The human wiped his hands off before going back to the couch and waving Remus over so naturally he rolled over the couchseat to land next to him.

"I think you will find this very fascinating" Janus said to which Remus' eyes widened as he immediately thought he was about to be shown the human's dick and balls.

Instead Janus pulled the back of his sweater up so the lower part of his spine showed and motioned for Remus to touch him. The demon let his fingers run along the spine and felt the other man shudder slightly as he slid his hand up under his sweater.

The spine was crooked in a way Remus had never felt before. As soon as he realized how different it was he couldn't help but run his hand up and down until he heard Janus let up into a laugh.

Remus moved his arms around Janus' waist and leaned his chin against his date's shoulder "You're right. That was fascinating"

Janus angled his head so he could nuzzle the side of his face against Remus' while smiling "It's not scoliosis but the doctor said it was similar damage as scoliosis caused by the car crash. The doctor said that by every medical notion I should have died or at least gotten an sci. My spine should have broken apart, not crook she said"

"You got mad in car last time we talked about car crash" The demon had the tone of a sad puppy as he mumbled it.

"Well that time you brought it up at a very rude time, this time I bring it up. There is a difference dear" Janus smiled as he added "They said I was a medical miracle"

As soon as Remus got permission to be excited about it he started to literally vibrate as he snuggled closer to Jan "You're my medical mystery!" He let his hands go under the other man's shirt again and gently squeezed his love handles "Honk honk" He kept vibrating "ALSO DO YOU HAVE XRAY?"

"Photos?" Remus nodded so hard it made Jan's head shake along "I do"

"Hot. Can I see sometime??"

"Sure"

Remus squeezed him around the waist and rocked side to side. Janus let his hand play along the other man's choker to keep him close before moving the collar of his own shirt to the side so the demon could press kisses to the nape of his neck.

"If you got scolioshit you should think prehand about positions and pain before fucking" Remus threw out absentmindedly.

"And how do you know that darling" Janus asked, assuming he was just bullshitting.

"You not think I ever fucked a person with bad back? It's all uuughhhh and aaaaaggghhhh if they start having pain mid fuck and then I leave and throw trash food onto random strangers on the street or something fun like that"

The human quietly assumed Remus was attempting his own strange way of flirting and replied "That is genuenly a good input darling. You're right, we should pre-try positions. Communication is key during sex after all or at least I have read that at several places"

Janus moved to stand up before sitting down again. He parsed his lips to speak and then closed them again before moving his hands so they hung in the air but after a few seconds he laid them back in his lap and started to drag on a loose thread in his sweater. His eyes wandered between Remus and the thread. Remus stared back at him for a few moments before his brain kicked into motion and he had the thought to do something but he wasn't quite sure of what.

"I never do before stuff" Remus admitted "Just fuck and then go"

Slowly but surely Janus cracked up into a smile "Oh wow. Dear you somehow keep suprirising me with how totally inexperienced you seem to be in anything and everything that isn't literally sitcking your penis into something"

"Hey now. I am skilled. Sometimes I am person getting penis stuck in. And also I have knowledge in putting tongue on pussey"

"What an array of talents"

Remus let up into one of his high pitched chainsaw like laughs before kissing his date on the nose. He stood up and waited for Janus to stand alongside him and when the human did he scrunched his nose and smiled. Both of their movements were slow and searching, and the demon noticed his date hesitating just a bit before bending over the dinner table to which he let his hand lay against the end of Jan's slightly arched back.

"I don't think this is quite it" Janus said as he turned back around so he sat on the table instead "At least not for my first time"

"Makes sense"

Janus pulled the demon closer by the choker so he stood between his legs and leant his hands against the table by his sides. Their chests where an inch from touching as Remus suggested.

"Riding?"

"Which madman rides dick during his first time having sex"

"On fours? Woof woof?"

"Dear I wear fancy gloves 50% of the time, Do i seem like the type to do doggy"

"69?"

"No"

"That always gives sore afterwards. Lots of stretching. But great name! great marketing!"

"Really rolls off the tongue" Jan agreed.

Remus poked at Jan's chest to make him lay down with his back against the table so he could bury his right between those sweet human man tits while Jan tried to hike his leg around his waist. The demon trailed kisses from his chest, past his neck and to his cheeks.

"Like this?"

"Oh gosh it is definitely not like laying down makes every one of my one thousand chins appear" Jan complained while trying to shift his face so he didn't get a double chin to which the demon blew a rapsberry right against his chin. It made him laugh which naturally rubbed off onto Remus "Laying like this does make my back hurt a little" Jan got out between a bout of laughter.

"Maybe the bed work better?"

"You are truly using every single one of your brain cells tonight huh darling"

"Rubbing them together like car batteries! Yes yes yes!"

Remus held out his hand to help his date up from the table like a gentleman and let his human lead him to the bed by his choker. When the demon immediately hit his head against the upper bunk bed he barely even felt the sting against his forehead because he was so focused hearing his human's cackle like a corny movie villain.

"I think I quite like you Remus" He said as he laid down on his back with a pillow under the lower end of his spine to help avoid any pain.

"I like you too" He sat between his human's thighs and let his hand touch against the curve of his waist as he looked him up and down "But I do not think you're stretchy enough to get leg up on my shoulder which I think what men usually do in this position"

Janus let out the most dramatic gasp he could muster "HUH!? ME!? LIL PRETTY ME!? You're accusing me of being bent out of shape, ugly, broke and not flexible!?!? You're a foul man!"

"Only like 2 of those things"

"RUDE! You're misjudging my gay credentials. I'll show you Mister!" His snarky self couldn't help but add "This is the hottest dirty talk anyone has ever had in the history of mankind"

"Show me then"

A pitiful attempt was made by Janus to lift his leg up so his knee was bent over his date's shoulder but it just made the zipper on his pants drag open. Remus offered to help lift but he was quickly denied as the other man sat up and began to drag his pants off.

"Of course it was today of all days I decided to wear my faboulous pants instead of one of my wonderful skirts" He muttered to himself while Remus sat watching grinning like a fool.

"Is that tiny snakes on your boxers?"

"Noooo. Obviously not. They're weirdly colored wormssss. Of course they are snakes! And they look fantastic on me!"

"They sure do!"

With the pants thrown aside the two men tried again with Remus holding Janus' leg up slightly to help but every time they got close one of them burst up into laughter which made the other start to laugh and they had to start over again.

"Don't blame me if you pull a muscle"

"I'll make you pull a muscle in you-"

"IN MY PENIS!"

"I was going to say pull a muscle in your tongue" Janus said as he pressed his hand against the back of Remus' head to pull him closer "So you can shut up and be a good boy for once" His tone had suck a teasing tone it made Remus giggle a little.

The bare skin of Jan's thigh touched his and the sensation made a chill run up his back at the same time as Jan let the light hand against the back of his head turn into him grabbing a bit of the demon's hair and playfully twirling it around his finger. Remus put his hands on either side of Janus' head to hold himself from falling completely onto him, with him so far being able to feel the other man's sweater rub against his chest.

With him pressed closer Janus managed to hike his leg up over Remus' shoulder which made them both let up into playful cheers before he helped him get his other leg up.

"This is definitely not stretching muscles I didnt know I had and you were not right in any way" jan snarked out. "But it feels good"

"I know me stuff"

He felt his human's hand wander up and down his back as he pressed his face to the nape of Jan's neck and kissed his collar bone. A hot breathe touched against Remus ear as Janus murmured "I'm so hard for you"

The stupidity of the situation wasn't lost on Remus but he genuinely hadn't seen the situation as sexual up until that moment. It had been all fun joking around and touching in ways some might consider sexual but it hadn't bothered him as long as he didn't have to feel that horrible feeling of feeding.

His blood ran cold and a distant ringing sounded inside of his ears. Everything around him turned ever so slightly blurry as his eyes went out of focus and his thoughts started to wander off to distant gore filled daydreams to distract himself.

The lust tasted just like Janus, that was the worst part of it. It wasn't something Remus could ever explain to a non succubus but the lust filling his mouth tasted like cheeky smiles, lemons and little lies and it made it even harder to swallow.

Somewhere far away his shirt was being pulled off and maybe Janus said something to him but he couldn't comprehend any of it. It just kept filling his mouth and oh god this was it, it would happen and then he would have to choke the life out of his human and wait for hell to let him in again and he had to do it because Roman was all alone in hell and fuck now he was thinking of his brother while he was about to have sex and he wasn't sure where his hand was and his skin was too tight around his flesh and he didn't even know when his human's birthday was so he would never know what would be written on his gravestone and Virgil would be the one to find his dead body but that was better than him seeing Roman's dead body and-

And a brief knock came from the entrance before the door opened and Virgil stepped into the apartment with his jacket slung over his shoulder and his headphones on.

The lust stopped dripping down his throat but Remus was only half aware as Janus as scrambled to sit up and pull the bed cover across his lap. The demon stayed sitting still as his eyes got stuck on some spot on the pillow and even though he wanted to look elsewhere it was as if his muscles weren't listening to him.

"---visade sig work didn't need mig. Kollegan kom and took my shift" The words coming from Virgil's mouth turned to nonsense in Remus' ears.

"-Remus was simply helpen mig strech. Bad spine och allt det" Janus responded and Remus started to feel nauseous but he wouldn't let himself throw up since he knew he needed the food.

His shorts were still on and Janus was still wearing his sweater so they couldn't have gotten that far. Maybe he had just overreacted to some silly touching. Silly him.

"You've eaten dinner?"

"Yeah. I'll just go to bed I think" The conversation continued while Virgil kept sneaking hateful glares at the demon.

Eventually Virgil left to get changed for bed and Janus moved to sit beside his date and gently wrap an arm around his waist. Feeling the pressure of another's touch made his dissociation disparse ever so slightly.

"Very homophobic of the universe to stop us from making gorgeous love" Jan muttered with a slight smile "During pride no less! It would have been so perfect if I lost the made up concept of virginity on the first day of Pride, but alas there is nothing wrong with doing that on the second day"

The human turned to his date expecting to see some smile but instead he saw that same dead eyed look he had seen during their car date. When he didn't get any answer Janus continued.

"Darling, Did you..." He searched for the right word "Enjoy everything we did today..?"

The notion that someone was speaking to him finally got through to Remus and he blinked rapidly to try and get back some control over his body before nodding.

"Okay dear, I simply wanted to make sure" Janus waited a bit before asking "Would you like to watch a movie or cuddle or something of that sort or would you rather immediately go to sleep. Don't worry about disturbing the grumpy hisser, we have headphones that connect!"

The demon nodded again and Janus gave a confused look to the unclear answer just as Virgil came out from the bathroom dressed in skeleton themed sweatpants and t-shirt.

Janus leaned in to whisper to his date "Excuse my french but it's totally not like I have to have some.. let's say..alone time now after our uhh time together got cut short so how about you think of what movie to watch while I do that" He stood up but quickly added "As you know I am definitely ssssuch a sucker for gore and horror sssso totally feel free to pick something horrible like that!"

The only reason Remus noticed him leaving was that the pressure from his arm being around suddenly disappeared. He could make out that Virgil had stopped to say something to him and he could quite easily guess that the tone of his voice was like poison dripping of his tongue but he wasn't sure what exact type of threat or insult the emo was trying to throw at him and before he had time to figure it out Viv had already climbed up to the top part of the bunk bed.

By the time Janus got back he had had enough time so he could hear Virgil tapping away on his computer right above him and his eyes were focused enough he could make out the way his human's cheeks were flushed redder than before. He'd also changed into a fancy silk pyjamas and put his hair in a bonnet.

His human cupped his chin and pulled his face close to whisper "I may or may not have just had the best alone time I've ever had because of you" Before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Remus mustered a "nICE"

Janus studied his expression before deciding to ignore the movie "Do you wish to cuddle until we fall asleep?"

"Yesss please"

"Atta boy, that's what i like to hear"

The two men spooned up under the covers and for a long while Janus whispered facts about old broadway divas to him until it was replaced by his soft snores. At every slight movement Remus made Janus would murmur in his sleep which he found adorable.

With his eyes closed and mouth slightly agape he looked so unassuming but something warm stirred in the pit of the demon's stomach as he silently watched him. His eyes wandered across the scarred side of his face and took in ever little uneven detail. He noticed how his human's bottom lip was a slightly lighter shade of brown than his top lip and the question of whether that made his lips feel differently entered his mind. He wished he could test the question out.

Tomorrow, he told himself, tomorrow he would seduce and kill his human. Tomorrow. They would have the whole day to themself at the Pride event. Tomorrow. And then he would see his brother and friends again. Tomorrow. And then he would never see Janus again.

Despite everything Remus slept better that night than he had for months.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #thomas sanders #tss #dukeceit #demus #virgil sanders #janus sanders #what if you were an asexual succubus wouldnt that be fucked up or what

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