#ask certified ceraunophile

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hi! A fan of your writing here. I just love the way you write Caroline. An Avoidable Heart is my comfort fic and I am constantly in awe with the way you write and craft the dynamics in that story. Caroline's inner monologue is just priceless and God! I just love that intro scene where Caroline is walking into the Mikaelson compound with vampires and hybrids in the surrounding ready to pounce on her.

I would love to hear how you would have visualized Caroline crossing over into TO or not? Like in what season and why? How it would have likely gone?

Thank you!

First of all lovely anon gimme a moment to breathe, asdfghjkl why are people so lovely 😭😭🥺✨ It means sooo much to me that you’d take the time to jump into my inbox and send these kind words, like please I’m not worthyyyyy, But you make me smile and feel really freaking warm so *handcuffs your hand to mine* you aint leaving 💖✨💞🙃

But OK ALSO oh my god dude THAT CAROLINE WALTZS INTO THE COMPOUND AND TAKES ON A COUPLE HUNDRED VAMPIRES BY HERSELF SCENE???? Ughhhhh I’m sorry but I have SUCH a boner for Caroline in that, like my badass -I admit kinda op- QUEEN IS HERE and she’s fucking shit up, I’m sorry but I love that scene so much it’s so dear to me I was killing myself over how self-indulgent and grossly Over powered Caroline is but like idgaf man it’s such a hot scene and Caroline is practically invincible and we just love to see that, so seriously lovely anon, you telling me you LOVE that scene??? Puts the biggest smile on my face and reassures me a LOT bc I was whining and cribbing over how absolutely unbalanced that scene is to literally everyone BUT LIKE YOU JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE and pointing that exact scene UGHH…...meant to fucking be the both of us 💖💞✨

And ALSO Caroline’s monologue is quite honestly the easiest inner monologue out of the three voices I wrote for that work, Klaus’s is the real pain in the ass tbvh like it is NOT easy writing pretentious besotted losers with a Kardashian complex especially when you need to make them sound cool when they’re the lamest OP dude bros to ever exist - and no I don’t hate Klaus although I seem to try my darndest to convince ppl I do- I just personally believe that a feral fucker like that with a thousand years of existence under his belt can grow a pair and graduate from his kindergarten level of emotional maturity to adult sometime soon, But then on the flipside he’s so grossly adorkably smitten and feral for Caroline plus hella horny for her all the time that its usually easy to write the trashed and devoted idiot he is into something pretentious and powerful and potent when relating to his unflappable arrogance and his narcissism, but sometimes I also need him to be *deep* and ffs profound for the sake of the plot and jfc my muse just wont work with me on that, she’s like I’m sorry I’m not about to bust my ass to make this mongrel intelligible like no sir all I wanna do is make him uncomfortably horny for Caroline and leave him like that.

So smh yeah the struggle is real….but lmao Caroline is just so precious and fiercely protective and just so achingly lonely in that story, so desperate for connection and trust and intimacy yet so guarded and impervious to everyone like it hurts me to write her like that but it really challenges me as an author to balance out her inherent light with the “void” I create in her and through her, so yeah it’s a very fulfilling task and I wouldnt change it one bit, and also I had to balance out her physical op-ness w half a millennium of the ugliest emotional trauma lol so I guess that figures, but the point being….once again I am overjoyed knowing that you liked a facet of the story that I tried so hard to make as authentically Caroline and achingly real and moving as I can and I cannot possibly feel more accomplished than rn for it so ty ty ty ty for reaching out to me and telling me *tackle hugs* It makes me GIDDY knowing that you enjoyed that particular part of the story like ugh stab me please you're too sweet.

And ok NOW, coming to The Originals part of the ask, (also please note that when I say TO headcanon; Hope does not exist, Hayley is a dead in a ditch and ofc Klaus will stop being that lil bitch they tried to pawn off as Klaus in TO) 

HEADCANON 1

Honestly my biggest headcanon when it comes to TO crossovers somehow always include non-humanity!Caroline like it’s just so perfect to me?? The opportunity to make shit BLOW UP b/w them like imagine the DEBAUCHERY, the heat, the SEXUAL TENSION, the repression of one Klaus Mikaelson, the EXPLORATIONS, and omg the role reversal when Klaus has to be the voice of moral reason between them and not bc he believes Caroline would not be able to stand herself if she does something heinous and monstrous but bc he wants her to be completely and utterly herself, and yk *aware*, when she DECIMATES ppl to the ground and is in full-on predator mode, like he wants her monster to come out and play with him when no part of Caroline is locked away or suppressed, so obviously when she is w/o her humanity KLAUS exercises restraint on her behalf, like can you imagine that, Klaus restraining himself and being the vague, extremely broken and just largely inaccurate moral compass between the two of them for ALL the wrong reasons- and the entirety of NOLA just standing there watching him herd this baby vampire who seems to be intent on riling him up and angering him when all she is doing is giving him a massive hybrid hard on, like IMAGINE THE GOODNESS of non-humanity Caroline wrecking NOLA and Klaus letting her wreck it bc he is helpless in the face of Caroline Forbes and also bc he is quite honestly *enjoying* the debauchery himself so why put a damper on the festivities.

-I might wanna add that I favour this headcanon a lot bc I genuinely do not even remotely *like* the idea of NOLA as Klaus's chosen place to set his roots so like I would love Caroline going to NOLA and destroying everything there just bc I detest NOLA and the storyline behind it in TO. (yes is it petty? Obvi, but like I am a petty soul and I make no apologies ma’am)

HEADCANON 2

So yeah that’s my main TO headcanon, but my other one being, one I talk about very frequently, scream about in tag rants to an obsessive level, and like this is a cracky one but still very valid, where Caroline rolls up to NOLA humanity intact and all, finds Hayley preggo and is just laughing her fucking ass off bc anybody ANYBODY, with half a brain and a two minute convo w klaus would know how UTTERLY stupid the entire baby shit is especially when it’s with an immemorable one night stand, and Caroline’s just losing her shit about how like an entire city is obssessed w this baby and she just straight up tells Klaus he’d SUCK as a dad (which he really does tho like he was a shitty fucking dad canonically too) and Klaus is just like *sigh* girl tell me about it. I mean basically he’s finally relieved that someone is on his side about the whole baby thing and how he definitely does not want his entire millennium of life to finally sum up to this one squalling leaking stinky infant/unicorn Hayley is apparently baking in her oven, and I say this headcanon is cracky bc klaus would never have put up w this mess long enough for Caroline to come in and sort it out, there’s this preferred method of disposal of his called heart ripping that would've been employed quite early on and honestly saved us all a lot of brain cells and minused years of life, bc let’s be real any Klaus who’s NOT a lil snivelling bitch wearing a Klaus skinsuit would’ve yeeted the baby and the mama first chance he got, and that’s just how I see it.

Lmao I really hope I didnt scare you away w my *strong* opinions Ik they can be a bit much but I enjoy having them so theyre not going anywhere, anyways this ask answer got WAYYYY too long but I’m hoping I answered your question well with this or atleast left you slightly confused and bemused over my feral screaming....either ways I’m really really really happy to have got your ask and the chance to rant so much bs, Twas cathartic and honestly I had nothing to do today so I was more than happy to dish this baby out for you. Thank you so much sweet anon for putting a smile on my face today I am absolutely HONOURED by your words you’sa cutie 💖💞✨🗣🗣

[klaroline-event]

ONE DAY MORE!!!

Welcome to Klaroline AU Season, 2021, Week One: REBELLION!

Rebellion week begins on Wednesday, March 17 at 12:00AM EST and ends on Tuesday, March 23 at 11:59PM EST.

All creations can be posted on tumblr and/or our collection on AO3.

All creations can be a rating of your choosing. Please tag and label appropriately.

Additional content to existing work IS accepted, cuz why not?! You can add a chapter to a WIP, write a rec or create a graphic for an existing fic.

You can participate in as many or as few weeks as you’d like.

You may submit multiple creations for the same theme.

Types of Creations

Drabbles

Gifsets

Graphics

Fic Recs

Videos

Week One: March 17-23 – Rebellion Rebelling against authority can take on many forms and this week is all about standing up to the power! Here’s some ideas if you get stuck: Is Caroline testifying against Damon, or is Klaus taking down Mikael? Are they rebels fighting a historic war? Or, is one of them a corporate whistleblower?? It’s up to you in this week of fighting back!  For additional information, send us an ask or reach out to @bellemorte180​ or @eliliyah​

This week is dedicated to Srishti, our certified ceraunophile and the bravest rebel we know! 

[certifiedceraunophile]

The nightmare in question has this amusement in his eyes, this mirth, shallow and thin, a misting screen over a bulging necessity called detachment and beneath all of it there is this chord, that has been struck once, maybe even twice in this moment and it brings him no amusement to find that there indeed exists a chord, for it to be struck.

There is also this derision, the amused kind of course, there is no real agitation within him, there never could be, mightily unmovable that he is, but this derision, it’s the kind only a Deity would know, when loosely bridled subjects prance their thoughts through hurdles and hoops in search of grand but inordinate truths, only to come to the conclusion the Deity himself has found at his feet repeatedly, a conclusion he finds no harm in saying he has blithely kicked with not a mite of acknowledgment, there is this derision that quickly devolves to agitation.

Why do you write like this? Why did you use 160 words to say he's annoyed?

First of all I wanna preface this entire thing by saying that I snorted the last few remaining braincells I had straight out of my nose when I read this, like JFC I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES BY THE TIME I WAS DONE LAUGHING. I personally have never in my life been more entertained by something that pertains to me to such a ridiculous extent.

Like for christ’s sake I understand this comment was sent with ill-intent anon, but oh my god I start snorting every time I read it. So really thank you dear anon for making me laugh until it hurt, I truly appreciate it, and I must say I’m not laughing @ you, I’m indeed laughing @ myself bc like you’re honestly not wrong, like THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THAT PASSAGE, me using 160 words (another thing that cracks me up  anon is the thought of you sitting there and counting each word to tell me that) to say that he’s annoyed.

Like youre seriously not wrong here and  seeing you put it so frankly like that makes me lose my shit every time. 

But none of this answers your question dearest anon, the question being

why do I write like this?

I mean why indeed?

Ironically enough, simply put in the simplest of words 

it’s bc I’m a pretentious mf YOU LIL BITCH.

[certifiedceraunophile]

OK TO THE ANON FLOODING MY INBOX WITH MESSAGES TRYING TO FIGHT A POINT FROM A POST I COMMENTED ON LITERAL MONTHS AGO.

Please sweetie, feel free to block me, and report me, Create a monument of Hate dedicated to my being and gladly thrash it to the ground with all your strength

BUT FOR GOD SAKE SERIOUSLY STOP ABUSING MY INBOX or I’ll be forced to report you as spam.

(Because honestly 17 freaking mails trying to convince me how Damon is NOT a Predatory abusive toxic homicidal serial killer AND rapist all the while telling me “you’re a sad salty lil bitch who actually should be raped instead of Caroline.” is not helping your point. Like seriously it’s not even the hate speech, you literally just admitted to the point you were trying to argue, that Caroline was indeed raped.)

SO please find your peace elsewhere,

(and also Damon Salvatore can choke on his own dick)

Thank you and much needed healing and health sent your way.

Xx

Srishti.

[certifiedceraunophile]

7, 15, 17 and 20 :)

SO THIS IS MY FIRST EVER ASK ANSWER,

7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?

Honestly it wasn’t a fic or anything, it was actually, this blinding beam of sunshine’s-  ( @carolineforbae ) comment on my fic ‘It’s a Touch Regrettable’

 This queen left a whole rant underneath the fic, unadulterated emotions flowing and spilling,Just the memory of it makes me wanna curl up on a warm bed of grass and weave flower garlands, that comment’s screenshot is actually my phone’s lockscreen picture. I’m not kidding.

 I’m in a healthy happy married relationship with that comment and we were actually wondering about kids just yesterday, so yeah. 

15. Post the last line you wrote without context.

‘But then she catches sight of Klaus’ face and she knows whats displayed across her eyes, it’s awe, it’s wonder, it’s reverence and most of all it’s such incriminating disbelief, and he knows just as much as she, those emotions only come from an undeserving woman. A woman with her head screwed on right enough to pass sound judgement on herself and decisively assign herself unworthy, but that doesn't stop her from greedily taking what she’s been given so freely, that she will take with thanks but would never pay it back, because how could she?

She is unfit for having it in the first place.’

17. Describe a fic that is still in the ‘ideas’ stage.

I’ll do you one better, here’s the aesthetic for a fic that has like “I came, I saw, I conquered” my mind, (pun intended, you’ll understand in a moment).

It’s been burning out my braincells like it’s on fire. I mean the amount of story plot lines and random dialogues that are literally bursting out of my mind like confetti strings honestly it was just all over the place I needed to calm down and compartmentalise so I did this to give the ideas in my head an image, and I got a bit carried away, clearly.

It’s an Ancient Rome-meets-Roman Gladiator-meets-Enemies to Lovers-meets-Mikael you son of a bitch I require your head on this platter, so please do the needful-meets-Caroline giving sponge baths to a dirty bruised yet victorious gladiator!klaus-meets-SMUT.

20. Do you have a favourite fanfic or author? If so, tag them/post a link and share the love!

The list of authors is too long, too too long, but I can bring it down to one person for you,

FIRST AND FOREMOST, 

Like, 

Lend me your ears my fellow plebes, as we stand in the presence of divine erudition, seasoned and soft yet coarse as velvet rubbed the wrong way, A blazing gloriole burst upon her lovely visage, cut her open and you shall find sands from a thousand realms spill forth, every flutter of her eyelash a turn of a page, Kingdoms have not crumbled at the touch of her hands, but the spine of a hundred tomes of sentiment narrated with unfettered reach have, bent with atlas humility as if to say, ‘have me, all of me’ and she devours. 

Honestly I have no idea how to end this, but the ‘her’ I’m talking about is the one and only,

@cbk1000

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE HONOUR AND PRIVILEGE I FEEL TO EVEN SAY HER NAME,

LIKE BRO, hold me for a second,

This writer is by far the one writer who has captured Caroline, Klaus, Rebekah and Kol, in the most REALEST way.

Like she knows these characters and presents them to us in their most tragically raw state of being, no dilutions, no misplaced underlining, no flower crowns on their head, they are given to you shrivelled, hurt, broken and aged and you bow your head in reverence.

In their most downtrodden days we will cherish them, in their ugliest cruelest days of such evil no love diminishes, in their most deific of moments your knees will buckle and you will submit.

She does not sugarcoat and downplay the most disgusting aspects of their character, presents it to us as they are and tells us,“Hold them, they burn your hands, but hold them still.” and we will do it, like GOD I’M NOT ARTICULATING THIS WELL, hold on, lemme collect my thoughts 

I MEAN SHE HAS KLAUS KILL A BABY, COOK yes, COOK SAID BABY AND THEN FEED THE ROASTED BABY TO ITS FATHER, ALL UNBEKNOWNST TO SAID FATHER AND I THINK ‘FINALLY, KLAUS AS KLAUS AND NOT KLAUS BUT CENSORED BLUR PLACED ON TOP OF EVERYTHING BUT HIS DICK.’

like does that make sense? I really hope that makes sense.

And OK her writing, like her WRITING itself, like remove Klaroline, remove the originals, remove vampires, werewolves, witches, etc etc, and give her a shoelace to right about and she will BLOW YOUR FCKING MIND AWAY. you will worship that piece of literary wonder, it’s poetry, it’s sacred scriptures, it’s imagery, its a fucking PAINTING.

that’s what it is,

IT’S A PAINTING and it’s A MOVING PICTURE.

She doesn’t create a world for you, no she’s nothing so boorish, she merely rules this universe of hers and she’s magnanimous enough to allow you entry, a visit, stay a few days, EXPERIENCE, LIVE, and then you leave a changed human, and this universe she rules will always have a special place in your heart and soul.

THE DEDICATION this writer shows to research, to historic accuracy, to  literally EVERYTHING that is not necessarily the plot itself, GOD, that deserves a separate spiel for itself, the way she makes everything so AUTHENTIC, her describing the fall of the Romonav dynasty as just another byproduct of Klaus’ recreational machinations, JESUS, LIKE THAT transcends storytelling and now is sitting in a place called shared reverie.

I MEAN GO AND READ,

Wherewith to Sate Its Malice

For the Pikes Must be Together

Five Times the Sinner

AND MOST OF ALL,

AU Original series

and come back and read this author review, you’ll agree to everything I’ve said. I promise.

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hey a Canadian who absolutely loves bollywood movies, dropping by, I just found out you were an Indian, and I'd just like to ask for a recommendation list, for Indian Historical Movies, do you mind posting said list, and including a gif in it from any scene from any movie from the list. THANK YOU. XX Hope I wasn't too demanding. Thanks again.

YOU’LL FIND YOUR LIST HERE.

And no you are not being demanding, and besides I’d absolutely never pass up on an opportunity to brag about Indian movies (mostly historical ones, god knows the ones with modern storylines are usually horrid)  to non-Indians, the way their jaws drop at the GRANDEUR of it all and they’re like so this culture does go past samosas and yoga tutorials is always so satisfying.

[certifiedceraunophile]

Tagged by these lovelies : @purplesigebert  @little-miss-sunny-daisy  and well this one is a menace more than lovely: @bellemorte180 

1: Why did you choose your URL?

The reason I do anything at all: Pretension, I like the way lightning looks as everyone does, but noo I couldnt just shut up and name myself something like Lightning Lover, I had to twist it away into Certified Ceraunophile which literally means the same.

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I dont have any sideblogs actually!

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

less than a year lmao

4: Do you have a queue tag?

#All the world’s a queue 

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to meet and ferally run around with fellow KCers, I actually made this blog to specifically come and yell at @cbk1000 @bellemorte180 and @cupcakemolotov

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It’s Caroline Forbes in pink hair smiling at something she’s looking at.....do I really need to explain why?? (plus I made the icon myself and I am v v proud lmao)

7: Why did you choose your header?

It’s Caroline admiring art with Klaus while, Klaus also admires uh art

8: What's your post with the most notes?

Idk if this is a good thing or bad thing, but my covid resources post has the most notes, but other than that it’s my Klaus’s POV during the Mikaelson Ball gifset

 9: How many mutuals do you have?

more than my feral ass should probably have

10: How many followers do you have?

I actually just checked this and OH MY GOD 200?? like lads what are you doing w your life??

11: How many people do you follow?

Also had to check and 195 as of now

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

I dont exactly *know* what shitpost means but yes probably

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

I live here bitches

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with a blog?

ugh this one damon stan anon who blew up my inbox, blocked their ass, but as a new tumblr user and new kcer I couldnt help but engage a bit before I blocked

15: How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

I’m ok with posts that say REBLOG. BOOST. Like commands you can either ignore or not?? bc I specifically made one like that for COVID resources in India, but posts that are like if you care about this then reblog can pack their shit and leave, performative activism never helped anybody, and guilt tripping people into doing stuff is manipulative.

16: Do you like tag games?

I do and I am very very very happy to be tagged in them I just dont end up *doing* it bc I forget....lol

17: Do you like ask games?

absolutely and bc I have copy pasted this tag game template from @kirythestitchwitch I would just like to remind her that she still very much hasnt insulted Kol Mikaelson, 9 inches, at your service darling YET

18:Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

hMMM...Nobody? we are all just feral gremlins running around in circles hitting reblog 20 times a day screaming at each other in the tags seeing the same shitpost 11 times on our dash and then going to bed only to wake up and do the same thing again.....so like seriously nobody I *know* is famous and I honestly prefer it that way!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I am married to one! @bellemorte180

I think everyone I want to tag has already been tagged and anybody who wants to do this just say I tagged you bc I am tagging you, anybody who wants to do this was tagged by me ❤

[klaroline-event]

AU Season: Week One Begins NOW!

Welcome to Klaroline AU Season, 2021, Week One: REBELLION!

Rebellion week begins on Wednesday, March 17 at 12:00AM EST and ends on Tuesday, March 23 at 11:59PM EST.

All creations can be posted on tumblr and/or our collection on AO3.

All creations can be a rating of your choosing. Please tag and label appropriately.

Additional content to existing work IS accepted, cuz why not?! You can add a chapter to a WIP, write a rec or create a graphic for an existing fic.

You can participate in as many or as few weeks as you’d like.

You may submit multiple creations for the same theme.

Types of Creations

Drabbles

Gifsets

Graphics

Fic Recs

Videos

Week One: March 17-23 – Rebellion Rebelling against authority can take on many forms and this week is all about standing up to the power! Here’s some ideas if you get stuck: Is Caroline testifying against Damon, or is Klaus taking down Mikael? Are they rebels fighting a historic war? Or, is one of them a corporate whistleblower?? It’s up to you in this week of fighting back! For additional information, send us an ask or reach out to @bellemorte180​ or @eliliyah​

This week is dedicated to Srishti, our certified ceraunophile and the bravest rebel we know!