#ask zalgo pie

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

[randomitemdrop]

If you're still bored, how about d100 rumors?

Table of Rumors

So, what are the villagers whispering around the pub? (Adapt as needed to your setting, and remember that rumors aren’t always true)

An infamous item-shop owner is actually a fraud and has no idea what he’s doing

One of the party members is secretly in service to the Dark Lord

One of the party members is secretly in service to the Merchants’ Guild, ensuring that the party keeps having to buy more stuff

The Dark Lord is secretly in service to the Merchants’ Guild and their entire evil plan is a hoax to stimulate the economy

Mimics in service to the Dark Lord have infiltrated the village

The Dark Lord’s secret weakness is Essence of (consult Table of Flavors & Scents)

The Dark Lord’s secret weakness is getting stabbed with a cheap tin dagger

The Dark Lord’s secret weakness is catgirls

The local forest has been infested with Cascadian Tree-Krakens

The local counting-house has been infested with Modrons

The local fishing-hole has been infested with Dire Crawdads

The local lake is secretly home to a Fey woman that gives out swords proclaiming the wielder to be the true king of the land

The local spring is actually a portal to the Plane of Water, but only when activated correctly

A nearby swamp is home to a wish-granting hag

A nearby swamp is home to a reclusive retired bard, once famous across the land

A nearby swamp is home to Shrek

A nearby swamp is actually a bog

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that will cure any illness or wound

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that make anything taste good

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that double your strength for four hours

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that will kill anything mortal

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that will get you zonked off your gourd

At the top of a nearby mountain there is a shrine to a forgotten deity from beyond the stars

At the top of a nearby mountain there is a shrine to a long-dead celebrity musician where Bards can learn special spells

A nearby cave is haunted by the ghosts of a massacred army

A nearby cave is haunted by the ghosts of cavemen

Long ago, fleeing royals hid a magic sword up the chimney of one of the local homes

One of the local merchants/tradespeople is actually a psychic vampire that nourishes itself by providing the worst possible customer service

A local farm has a chicken that will grant wishes if you pet it without letting the owner know

The local pub owner was once a bandit and buried treasure under the floorboards

The town drunk knows where a treasure is hidden but will only explain when sober

The town Prohibition Society president knows where a treasure is hidden but will only explain when drunk

The weird old man that lives outside town dresses up as a monster to frighten people off his property

The weird old man that lives outside town dresses up as a monster and has won awards at furry conventions for his monster suits

The local blacksmith’s hammer is enchanted so that he can strengthen armor just by hitting it

The local butcher will buy exotic meats, no questions asked

The local baker’s buns are enchanted so that it is addictive

The local candlestick-maker uses dwarf-tallow

The local cooper is the Queen’s paramour, which is how he's kept his license despite his barrels being absolute rubbish

The local cobbler is assisted by Elves. Nobody seems to know if that means traditional tiny magical spirits or, like, a band of Drow warriors bound to his service

The local nightsoilman is the true Crown Prince, having switched places with a lookalike after getting the idea from an episode of “Wishbone” and/or “Garfield: a Tail of Two Kitties” and/or any of the three different Barbie CGI adventures based around the idea

The local grave-digger kills people when business is slow

The local pie-maker kills people when business is slow

The local oyster-seller is secretly rich off pearls

The local arkwright (maker of chests) is actually a breeder of Mimics

The local carpetmaker is actually a breeder of Trappers

The local schrimpshonger will pay dearly for strange and exotic teeth, the bigger the better

The local relic-keeper is a fake

The local phrenologist is legit, somehow

The local cheesemonger can tell your fortune from the bite patterns you leave in a rind

The local pardoner has a direct line to the Celestial Bureaucracy

The local doctor is a vampire

The local tobacconist has some primo shit in the back that he only brings out if he knows you’re cool

The local town guard used to be an adventurer like you, then he took an arrow in the knee

The local town’s rival tater-hurling team has magic on their side, so the locals are looking for an edge

The local mayor is secretly a witch

The local mayor is secretly an avatar of the Dark Lord

The local mayor is secretly two Halflings with one sitting on the other’s shoulders, having achieved office through a cavalcade of hilarious hijinks and desperate to maintain the ruse

The Royal Palace’s knights are actually just empty suits of armor animated by dark magic

The Royal Palace’s knights are actually just empty suits of armor filled with bees

The Royal Palace’s knights are actually illusions and the building is actually defenseless

Eating raw pork increases your strength, the tainteder the better

Man door hook hand carriage door

Putting out all the lights and speaking a wizard’s name into a mirror five times will open a portal to wherever they are

Living near windmills causes cancer

Electrical shocks cure rheumatism

Goblin saliva cures acne

The smell of Bonnacon dung cures respiratory illness

Giant blood replenishes vitality and cures hangovers

Powdered Tiefling horns are an aphrodisiac

Dwarves lay golden eggs when enraged

Pulling Elves’ ears is good luck

Stealing an adventurer’s helmet is good luck

It’s good luck to ignore Aasimar, pretending they aren’t there

People with even a little bit of Dragon blood in their veins are incapable of lying

Feeding a Halfling is bad luck

Druids are aggressive assholes that try to convince everyone else to become Druids

Orcs are disguised humans

Mind-flayers can actually survive on totally normal food and drink, and they’re just flaying minds to be jerks

People with red hair are werewolves

Kicking a Cleric of a deity besides the one you follow in the butt cures curses

Flossing with the hair from a wizard’s beard cures toothache and gum disease

Church wine can be used to remove any stain

The Chosen One has arisen and can be recognized by (insert trait held by party member)

The Chosen One has arisen and can be recognized by being invulnerable to blades

The Chosen One has arisen and a cutting from their hair is proof against the Plague

Many adventurers are actually thought-constructs without free will, controlled by the whims of giant deities living on a higher plane rolling dice

The Royal Palace is trying to hide from the populace that the world is actually round/flat/cylindrical/toroidal/&c.

The Plague vaccines being provided by the Royal Palace secretly contain Potion of Enfeeble Mind to allow them to control the populace more securely

The local ruins were constructed by Extraplanars (note: if this is already true in your setting, instead the rumor is that the Extraplanars are a hoax by the Royal Palace)

Certain unusual clouds are the product of the Alchemists’ Guild trying to control the weather

The gladiator matches are fixed

A famous bard died years ago and was replaced by a look-alike

A famous bard is hypnotizing people with their music

Zalgo is coming

The world is going to end next year

A major chain of food stalls actually uses bio-alchemically-engineered Oozes instead of real meat

The Holy Books have hidden messages that can be decoded by those that know the secret method

The town charter is secretly a treasure map

https://www.snopes.com/random/

[fryologyy]

creepypasta fandom

i am not in the creepypasta fandom but why not

blorbo - pinkamena diane pie my beloved littol freek.

scrimblo bimblo - the dogscape

glup shitto - luna game luna. have u seen her? love her

poor little meow meow - zalgo garfield (get it bc he's a c)

horse plinko - luna game luna (get it bc she's a h)

eeby deeby - the mickey mouse old cartoon edit im tired of seeing it

(ask meme found here)

[adventuresofcandymareinvrchat]

“Hello everypony candymare is taking a rest she drank to much , I’ll be here instead of arching over everyone else’s specially @anideterm3 terra @chromaslip @racistrarity @a-spoonful-of-generosity @maudyoulook . The businesses invoking @evilkingsombra and @evilprincessconfessions and keeping @billyjoelmutt on a Leash and away.

“Who am I? Well another entity that well can’t be killed defeated or handled . Terror and horror and things beyond is what fuels me , however I’m very open.

“So please ask me questions or interact with me I am zalgo pie and I’m here to say

“Come play with me if you dare.”

[kaori-kozume]

Creepy pasta A.U.

Slender man: @capa-play

Jeff the killer: @king-yao-i

Jane the killer: darkbloodRaven-@king-yao-i

Eyeless jack: @nobodyifyouwannaknow

Lazari: @justdaphnyuwu

Zalgo:

Hoddy: @asktheusdoodlemuffins

Puppeter: @abyssvoidsstuffs

Ticci Toby: @bandit-lover44

Clock work: @ask-fatima-and-the-pals

Masky: @vote-for-charming-dinosaurs

Smiley Dog: @alicia13fox

Nurse ann: @starlightz4lifexkatekun

Lulu: @angelposts-things

Ani: @starbucksraven

Zero: @ayoizvia18

Pinkie pie: @askstella-andfriends

Sally: @alexia-exalias-ask

Ben:

The Rake:

Lostsilver: @ermoz-friend

Seed eater:

Bloody painter: @mun-c10v3r-blog

Laughing Jack: @katysnoipin24

Herobrine: @storytellsblog

Sonic. EXE: @edward-elric-metal

Sally.EXE:

Tails doll:

X Virus:

Lui:

Stripes: @asktiredstuff

Skin taker:

Mad pikachu:

Doll maker:

Drowned Ben: @hermione-granger13

Judgement Angle:

Jason the toy maker:

Nina the killer:

Dr: smiley:

Mister wide mouth:

The lunch lady:

Robin the doll:

Mothman:

Sabrina:

Granny:

Penpal:

The sand man:

Candy pop: @plebystarturtle

Rainbow factory:@billiebelive

Kate:

I will just excuse the hogwarts au

Just reblog if you want to join

[student-film-lying-piece-of-shit]

Splentoby plas

fine. ok. ill do this. PLEASE keep in mind in these headcanons toby isn't a minor and that we can assume he's 19+ (he doesn't have a set set canon age? he supposingly dies before age 20 idk man it's vague please don't drag me into discourse i headcanon him as an adult in non au settings)

splendor hcs / splendortoby. yall asked for it. if i get hung im blaming u guys

also these r months old they're from amino. let's go

he can move his face and mouth! it's not forever stuck like (:

- he listens to nightcore unironically look me in the eyes and tell me he doesn't

- he is pansexual!! n cis

- he lowkey feels isolated and lonely from the others, trying his best to be a help but nobody rlly appericates it so he's :(

- he has magical capabilities! he can summon little things around him (think maybe the wadern from superjail?) like ie he will move his hands and a rainbow comes out of his hand

- he fucking LOVES minecraft and for the first 4 times he played he tried to like tame a creeper and BEN was just "you can Not Do That Splendor"

"he's my friend!!!!!!"

"you can tame how many animals and you try to tame an enemey splendor he will blow you up"

"): my friend..."

- he tends to get a lot of romantic crushes on humans but is terrorfied of pursuing them because he's!!! an ugly monster n their :3 to him

- he has an ability to make himself invisible to adults and only visible to kids/those who can 'believe' that he uses in public because slenders always like. "DON'T SHOW UR IDENTITY TO THE H U M A N S!!!!!!!"

- he likes 80's music a fucking lot. like. a LOT.

- he's friends w/ sally (duh), BEN (the one who got him into Minecraft), Jane, EJ and Toby!!!!

- he had feelings for jane until she was just "sorry, i like girls" and he was

"!!!! I do too!!!!! You funky lil lesbian keep it up!!!!!!!!"

- HE DOES HAVE A HUMAN FORM !!! he's the only slender who has a soild human form! However it drains him a lot to use it so he doesn't use it a lot,,,,

- he cries gold!!!! Liquid, his blood is like? pastel blue? his body liquids r pastel gore basically

- he, yes, is a brony. his favorite is pinkie pie

- he doesn't have a secret evil form shut the fuck up and let me have my son!!!!! i refuse!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!! he does NOT!!!!!!!!

- he has had a weird crush on toby for a while and he's never mentioned anything because "that is,, someone who works for my brother,,,,,,,that is,,,,, his proxy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"

- his human name is Romeo!!!!!!!!

- he's a huge mommas boy :3 he calls her everynight to tell her he loves her and she's just "okay cool" and he's "!!!!!!!SLEEP WELL"

- he's fucking shitfaced scared of zalgo lmao

okay im gonna indulge in this weird crack ship for three seconds here wait

- toby always rides on his back!!!!!!

- splendor always leaves him candy and stuff in his room anonymously or notes and toby's just "huh who did this" but than one time he saw splendor sign something and he was

"it's YOU??????????"

- toby: this is my giant monster boyf-

splendor, crying: am i a monster

toby: GOD NO I LOVE YOU

- slender finding out is just "literally what the fuck idc anymore do what by any means you guys want ive seen it all now"

- toby always also rides on his tendrils!!! he uses them as swings fuck you this is my headcanon list I'll do what i want

- they go to the fair n stuff when it's town n splendor goes into his human form and they have a good Time!!!!!!

- splendor gets toby really cute binders w/ designs n stuff!!!!! To make him feel a lot better abt himself and toby loves it half to death

- toby, crying: i don't know im sorry i never told you i was trans. please don't think of me different.

splendor, a creature that's been living for centuries, 11 feet tall w/ vague human traits: i would NEVER

- tobys the first human splendor has ever been w/!!! and he rlly rlly cares abt toby and feels super comfy w/ him

- splendor is v insecure abt being u know an eldrich creature so toby always compliments his 'monster' traits and splendor goes "!!!! O W O!!!!"

- toby uses splendor's tendril bells to stim sometimes and splendor happily let's him

- romeos human form has a ton of fucking freckles and when he goes into his human form toby goes fucking BONKERS he LOVES IT

- splendor in his human form: a-aha toby are you ready to go out,,,,,

toby, paniking: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO SPLENDOR

splendor: AAAAAAAAAA

- toby slips up and calls splendor Romeo in front of slender and slenders like

"who...who are you referring to?"

"SPLENDOR I MEAN YOUR BROTHER SIR"

"how the fuck do you know his human name"

"uhm"

- jeff: how do you feel about your emplyoee fucking your brother lmao

slender: please

slender: leave my office. please. im begging you jeffery just fucking go

(THEY DON'T ACTUALLY FUCK PLEASE)

- this situation makes slender say fuck a lot lmao

- toby likes sitting on splendor a lot n its just he's on his ds yelling at his NintendoDog to sit down as splendor reads nariana and toby's just background noise screeching "MR. SNIFFLES SIT!!!!"

[creepypasta-fandom-is-trash]

This might be too much to ask but could u gives us a list of all the creepypasta characters you know so i'll know what characters to ask about?

Are you the same anon? there appear to be a few reoccurring ones. Idk. I’m just a dummy. 

Jeff the Killer

Jane Everlasting

Ticci Toby (made me cry. a lot.)

Masky and Hoody (I’ve seen Marble Hornets)

Jason the Toymaker

Bloody Painter

The Strider

Seedeater

Smile_Dog

BEN_Drowned 

Herobrine

Eyeless Jack

Laughing Jack

Hobo Heart

Sonic.EXE

suicidemouse.AVI

Mr. Widemouth

Ickbarr Bigelstein

Pinkamena Pie

Rainbow Factory (Dr. Dash)

The Puppeteer

Zalgo

Clockwork

Sally

Splendorman

Slenderman

BOB

The Rake

Dr. Smiley

Strangled Red

The Sixes

There are more, but I cannot remember their names? 

Russian sleep experiment and the one about the freaky dude who follows people around playing music?

I have horrible memory. 

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

I know that you're dead, but you're Pinkie Pie. The one who is determined to throw parties for her friends no matter what, and nothing got in your way of throwing a party. I thought being a spirit wouldn't stop you from throwing one.

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

Wait. You're that universe's Pinkie Pie or a Pinkie Pie from another universe?

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

You don't mind if we tell your Great Niece Laff Trax that we've been chatting with you, right? She might want to get to know about her Great Aunt Pinkie Pie.

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

Pinkie Pie, were you dating anypony at the time before you were killed?

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

Do you still throw parties for ponies despite being a spirit? Like birthday parties, random parties, etc.? I know that you're evil, but there must still be some part of you to see your old friends smile with happiness, right?

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

Zalgo Pie? Sounds like you're a relative of the Pie Family.

[asklilmissrarity-redux]

What have you been doing ever since you became a vengeful spirit?