#autointellect

[autointellect-blog]

I am the ultimate troll

So I play Overwatch on PS4. And I was playing the brawl in Eichenwalde and it was attack and I was Junkrat (blessed be his bombs) But the enemy team also had a Junkrat and it quickly became a battle of the Junkrats as whenever we saw each other, we would go after each other. But why am I the troll? Every SINGLE time the Junkrat did his ultimate, I would throw a concussion mine at it, DESTROYING IT. EVERY. Single. Time. And then of course when our roles swapped the guy went after me. But man that was entertaining.

[supremestrangeness]

Came for the bogan bomber, stayed for the bogan bomber

Describe my blog in terms of “came for the _____, stayed for the _____”

WHO YE CALLIN’ A BOGAN YA’ COMPUTER-GENERATED WANKER

[technotranquility-archive]

@autointellect​ wanted a starter

What an odd request from the Ape - he was sent out for an emergency peanut butter restock - which can’t be healthy for him. Sure, he was an omnic, and he couldn’t tell what was healthy for an ape, but he got the gorilla some fruits along with the expected supply.

When he finally got to the watch point though, the area was empty. Winston was probably working on something outside the office...which gave him an excuse to meet the AI he heard of: the body less soul who was brains behind overwatch. So when the door opened by itself, he made an effort to thank the woman behind it all.

“Thank you and Greetings, Athena. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard many great things about you, and I apologize for any problems that our team has caused.”

[shortstoutandswedish]

autointellect replied to your post “autointellect replied to your post “Torbjorn sin day headcannon” ...”

Sin: noun. an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law. Torbjorn's existence is an immoral act against the gods. Therefore Torbjorn is sin.

Nah, i’m still not seeting it.

[supremestrangeness]

☁

Send me a ☁ for a thought my muse has had about yours.

Could she beeeeee any slower with that count down my finger’s ITCHING mate, ITCHING god, you think she’s a real fleshy somewhere or some sorta’ omnic waffle? Bet she is, lying c*nt, she aint the boss of me, I’ll blow this WHOLE DAMN ROOM!

[shortstoutandswedish]

autointellect replied to your post “Torbjorn sin day headcannon”

But how can you sin him when he IS sin? The real question tho

Define sin tho?

[autointellect-blog]

My friend's birthday is today. She plays Overwatch as well. So literally if I see her playing today I'm gonna spam Junkrat's "Happy Birthday" line. It will be great.

[autointellect-blog]

I need Overwatch fanfic recs

Like. Badly. Help me—hell—help the fandom out! Reblog this with links for any overwatch fanfics you personally recommend!

Help a brother (sister...computer) out! Any rating! Any genre! (But put trigger warnings just in case)

[shortstoutandswedish]

➳

Angsty starters: 208

“I’m done!” The words were those of a man who had been awake for days on end, this project had been testing his patience for far too long and now it had finally won through. With a kick he put a nasty dent into the side of his work bench before hopping down from his desk and stomping off to his sleeping quaters, dropping himself down onto the bed and staring at the cieling as he tried and failed to relax.

“infernal machines with their complex circuitry! i should just retire at this rate” his muttering was more to himself then to anyone who could be listening in, it was just a hollow threat but it did naught to help his mood and fatigue.

[autointellect-blog]

Dash commentary

Jewish, christian, buddhist, sikhism, even atheism! It does not matter what religion you are.

All that matters is that we are one with the iris.

[autointellect-blog]

@blackwatch-agcnt liked for a starter

The emergency beacon had been activated no more than 3.03 hours ago. Its purpose was for agents to let out a distress beacon, alerting agents nearby to rendezvous to their position. Thing is, with Overwatch’s disbandment, this beacon was never used.

So it was to her surprise, taking on her holographic form and all, for the person in question to not be someone she recognises in the Overwatch member databank.

“Who are you?” She asked, primed to activate her high-alert mode. “It is unauthorized and illegal for non-Overwatch members to activate the beacon. You could be tried under the Universal court.”

[autointellect-blog]

@trcnspcrency liked for a starter

The mission was complete. The payload was delivered and the ship was quiet as everyone was taking their well-earned rest, relieving themselves of the physical—and sometimes mental—burden on their bodies.

But ATHENA could not rest yet. She had to plan the flight path, find suitable pitstops for provisions, monitor body readings, keep an eye on local events on the news, it was a typical day for her but so engrossed was she in her multi-tasking that she only barely registered Tracer’s disappearance. The 0.487 second lag for ATHENA to comprehend Tracer’s sudden vanishing was too much as she suddenly found her at her control panel.

“Tracer? What is it?” Tracer’s vitals seemed normal with the exception of the lactic acid build-up and depleted water levels. “Do you want something? I cannot provide food or drink yet until we make our rendezvous at Rio De Janeiro in 0.48 hours.”

[autointellect-blog]

@overwatchers-rp liked for a starter

You’ve got like, wow, 3 in one? Sounds like that lubricant oil thingy. (Why was that the first thing I thought of...?

Anyhoo! Because of that I’mma keep it ambiguous so you can choose which muse you wanna reply as.

SENSOR BREACHED. INTRUDER ALERT!

That was the alarm ATHENA heard when she was awoken from her power nap. Watchpoint: Gibraltar has been under maximum security since Winston’s leaving. Though her primary objective was to transport people in the ship and handle the ‘resurrector’ (as some of the ex-agents used to call it), she still kept the place in order. She did not need Winston’s orders to know he wanted the place still in working condition.

This time armed with Gatling guns and an assortment of turrets, ATHENA was prepared to execute the trespasser but quickly put them away when she saw who it was. She gave a virtual sigh.

“I almost killed you. I apologise. Are you alright? Do you need me to deploy a shock blanket?”