#aw fuck vivs gonna cry

[prof-polaris]

Dear Mx.Chroma. we thank you for choosing our airline for your trip to Johto however, due to miscommunication we regret to inform you that the following pokemon's pokeball has been taken to a different region.

Queenie 21 years old standard Gyarados trained female

This pokemon has been sent to [PALDEA] Please forgive this error, we will work to send this pokemon back free of charge.

SHIT

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

Soooo. The new Helluva Boss pride thing and that comment about Striker and Stella not being there. I am genuinely more and more irritated by this "Strikers Straight" horse shit as time goes on.

Really? This guy is your no-pride straight homophobe? -_-

How in any way was this scene not homosexual in nature. Like am I just stupid or what? Striker was specifically latching onto how Blitz is strong and impressive for making his own business and gassing him up over it even before there was a need to to still carry out his assassination "Not many imps start businesses on their own... thats pretty impressive sir". There's clear admiration there. He suggests Stolas dying would be good because it would end "the one who treats you like a plaything" he implies he'd like to see Stolas dead not only for his own sake and for his hate of royals, but for Blitz's sake too. Like, HELLO!?

I'm sorry but the more I look back on it, the whole Striker's straight thing does feel like a retcon. He wasn't originally. I believe that he was changed, because he's mean about Stolas and "good ones" rich people, and we can't have that. He's an antagonist to Stolitz AND a potential "shipped with Blitz" character so he's not a pet/favoured villain or morally grey character. No, instead hes just full on MEANIE BAD!!!! Who's only purpose is creating Stolitz drama. Making him straight is a way of trying to make him boring and more laughable to the yaoi obsessed audience (if you like gay male ships YOU ARE FINE I DO TOO I'm specifically talking about the ones who take it to a fetishistic degree and are raging misogynists). The less Striker is able to be paired up with other male characters in this show, the less value he has outside of being a joke and the less interest in exploring relationships with him there will be since so often do only gay male relationships get to have any interesting depth. Note how other male characters who aren't in gay relationships are treated by this show, COUGH MOXXIE.

And you know what the saddest part of this is to me? In this one single Striker and Blitz scene, they literally had more chemistry and were a more interesting dynamic than Stolitz despite several episodes of that god awful ship. Think about it. They both have clear admiration and respect for each other, interest in each other. They've both been mistreated by royals and had rough pasts so understand each other on that level. They've both had to claw their way to success at the cost of great struggle. So now, they're conflicted. Because they're both obstacles to each other as much as they are love interests. Striker does not want to compromise slaughtering royals and wants to do his job. Blitz wants to preserve his business. They are competing over their goals in life while also attracted to each other. They are a "toxic" or complicated ship without there having to be a creepy unaddressed power dynamic and without the empowered one constantly needing to be portrayed as victimized by the narrative to try and make the relationship seem more even and less creepy.

This is so much more interesting as a kind of "relationship that never could be", to me, than "OMG my daddy bought me that imp for a day as a child then he randomly reappeared into my life again and stole from me, so now I will hold his business over his head to get sex from him and constantly demean him. All while he clearly indicates that he is repulsed by me. Then I will proceed to cry he doesn't like me romantically!"

But no. Striker doesn't get to be bi or gay. However, pan IS slapped onto several female characters... THAT NEVER GET ANY SCENES WITH WOMEN LIKE STRIKER GOT WITH BLITZ. Good fucking God man! If you're gonna make all these supposed women that like women, WHY DO NONE OF THEM BARELY EVER EXPRESS INTEREST IN WOMEN THAT WE GET TO SEE!?

Only the men's sexualities are actively shown. The women, we need to be told what their sexuality is. Because Viv hardly ever bothers with pairing them with anyone or letting them express sexual behaviors. Tiring.

[chaifootsteps]

So this ending is gonna have blitzo quite possibly not being able to make things right/get closure with the demons he’s wronged

The female characters are once again getting shafted to the bg and some possibly killed (given that those leaks are likely fake, but I wouldn’t be surprised if viv did)

And blitzo will then be forced to spend the rest if his life with abuser, because he owes stolas this for some reason

Fuck me this is gonna be awful, fanfic writers you know what to do

We gotta make a better ending (not that it will be hard given vivs writing skills)

Do your best, and by your best, something that will make Viv's stans scream and cry and flail on the ground like the angry toddlers they are. I know I certainly intend to.

[the0retically]

The Suckening #12: The Twilight Zone:

Thoughts and quotes below, a wild first half of the finale

- I’ve put this off for too long it’s time to do this

- Oh hi le frog

- God Condi and bizly having to switch accents is so funny it sounds SO WRONG CONDI CANT DO IT AND BIZLY IS JUST DOING HIS OWN VOICE

- Love that the plan hinges on Taylor launter??

- Shilo being so adamant about not punching Emizel but then just doing it, I love them

- But oh god shilo has to talk to Theo because he looks like emizel

- Love music coming up when they’re going over the plan and then immediately cutting out when Arthur said demons instead of dangs

- “I know you hit it off with Viv” “my homegirl yeah” ARTHUR??

- “Who is it?” “It’s me” “…alpha” I cannot believe this

- ARE YOU SERIOUS MRS TAYLOR LAUNTER HAS A HELICOPTER????? CHARLIES DEFEATED SIGH WAS SO FUNNY

- SHARKBOY GAUNTLET????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

- “Good boy” “…..” “HA I WAS GONNA SAY GOOD MAN”

- I shouldn’t be sad that emizel can’t actually talk to Theo

- Also it scares me every time charlie asks what phone they’re using

- “I already told him about the plan to change faces” “then WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS?” “I don’t know I forgot”

- “This is such a classic Theo move I love you” :((((((

- Awwww them all being so excited emizel is the phantom flipper is so fun

- Bizly losing his mind over the dangs new plan is so funny

- Forgot how Edwards voice sounded god

- THEY HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM? Oh god

- “You know the plan, to be yourself” oh god

- Emizel you’re doing so bad this is awful

- 6 different Edwards??

- Why have they heard about shilo?

- Oh god this whole scene is like playing in my head I can see it so clearly

- Chester Chesser is such a cool name

- Paul with the unseen one freaky little dude I like him

- Ok yeah I love Paul he’s so fun

- You know who I miss though? Grefgore :( where is my boy

- Chet is insane??? Oh my god. The energy here is unmatched. Love Charlie and Condi just immediately going into laughter

- God the audio design is incredible in this campaign, the overlapping voices for Charlie is so good I love it

- “People think I’m weak do you think I’m weak?” “…you say that out loud in front of everyone?” OH GOD

- Paul and Chet being Emizel’s buds is so on brand I love it

- RENWICK!!!!!!!! HES COMMENTING!!!

- Oh it’s masquerade breakers that are competing

- …….and deacon rounded them up

- Interact with the show???

- “If there’s any invisible around” SO SMART ARTHUR

- Paul?? Oh they’re like the cameras. That’s really cool

- It’s fortnite, it’s fucking fortnite. Ok Charlie ok

- “I’d like to start-“ “ok shilo” “crying”

- Arthur is so cool I love him

- Oh there are humans—oh god it’s the dangs yikes that’s horrible

- “But I am walking the same amount of time!” “No” “….yuh-huh!”

- Charlie’s manic laughter was so fun who does shilo see?

- FORTNITE BUILDER!

- Love that they just keep saying minecraft and Charlie is like nah it’s fortnite building

- “Fortnite vampire” thanks Charlie

- OH GOD BIZLY IS LOSING IT

- ARTHUR IS POPPING OFF LETS GOOO

- “Now you’ve met the real devil” HOLY SHIT???? ARTHUR??

- OH!!! THIS IS WHERE THE WINGS COME IN THIS IS SO COOL LETS GO ARTHUR

- A wolf you say? Oh god the squirrel

- 3 roll off in a row?? That’s epic

- Uhhhh shilo? Please be ok

- LETS GOOOOOOO SHILO

- HE HAS A FRIEND!!!!

- Grangle!! Love him

- “Can I talk to satan?” “I’m not a say no dm am I? Oh god” PLEASE WHAT A MOOD

- HELICOPTER!!!!!! THE LAUNTERS ARE HERE

- Bizly losing his mind when Chet started talking is perfect I love Chet so much

- WEYLIN TWINS TIME!!!!!

- I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! HI HI HI HI HI

- IM CRYING THIS ENTIRE ENCOUNTER WITH CHET AND EMIZEL IS HILARIOUS

- “Hands too fast can’t stop them” Everyone breaks down laughing

- WHAT???? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH EDWARD AND EMIZEL RIGHT NOW

- THE HELICOPTER HITS THE BARRIER????? WHAT??

- HE DIED????? RIP TAYLOR OH MY GOD

- NO HE SURVIVED LETS GOOOOOO HES NOT EVEN INJURED!!!!!

- Oh, :( one of the old people. It’s the people who know about the masquerade

- “Can you take me home?” “Yeah I’ll take you home” oh I’m gonna sob

- “I just walk with him for a while” “and then what?” “I don’t know. I keep walking. I don’t know where to take him” “ok, just keep walking” “Ben can you tell me about your family or anything you like?” And he just pointed out a bird in the trees :(( NOW HIM AND SHILO ARE TALKING ABOUT BIRDS IM NOT OK

- :( I agree with bizly this is the saddest thing Charlie has ever done

- I get why bizly said this destroyed him because I agree Ben’s whole situation is so incredibly sad

- Gotta wait to do part 2 but that was a phenomenal first half of the finale I loved it!!

[firecrackerhh]

For fucks sake. If you say you’re gonna “leave the fandom” something you’ve been saying for a while, then just fucking leave already. No reblogs, no comments, nothing.

I’m under the impression no one actually fucking likes you anyway so I don’t see why you feel the need to announce it like anyone outside of your equally as brain dead followers actually give a shit.

I do not understand why people like this feel the need to lie to themselves. If you keep talking shit about the fandom and the creator and the show and you just…bitch about it all the fucking time then I don’t think you like the show at all and I think you’re just a fucking attention whore. Probably to make up for the fact your parents clearly don’t fucking love you.

This bitch has a fucking problem and I think it should be called out.

I’m allergic to bullshit and this bitch gives me fucking hives.

“Leaving the fandom was the best decision I-“ BITCH YOU HAVEN’T FUCKING LEFT. If you did, your shitty “critical” blog would be abandoned and taking up valuable space on this site’s hard drive. If you left, you would deactivate your fucking blog.

Hazbin isn’t out yet due to the strikes going on, for one who claims to be “socially aware” and whatnot, I would think you would know that. Since you just love stalking Viv and probably anyone else Spindlehorse related cuz you’re a fucking obsessive weirdo who probably hasn’t gone outside in months.

Christ this bitch makes me look like a well adjusted human being who actually contributes to society in comparison Lmao.

I would tell you to touch grass but if you ever did it would probably die in your grasp.

“Remember to do what you enjoy in life and make good decisions.” Something you have never and will never do, seeing as you’re still here actively engaging in content that pisses you off for reasons that are beyond me. Like yeah you say you’ll leave, but you won’t. A good decision would be deleting your entire blog and moving the fuck on with your life. A decision I frankly believe you to be incapable of making. And if you enjoy being a miserably toxic pile of dogshit to innocent people you might be a bad person.

I don’t know how you can be excited for Hazbin given how much it’s obvious you fucking hate everything else Viv has ever done. I bet the second it comes out you’ll cry like a bitch about how awful you think it is.

I cannot imagine being hyperfixated on something I hate. What a fucking miserable existence you must live.

It’s simple really, if you’re gonna leave, then leave and never come back cuz Jesus knows none of us will miss you. Jesus knows I won’t.

🔥🧨~Firecracker out~🔥🧨

[doctapuella]

hello bestie, i am here to wish you the HAPPIEST of birthdays, and i have recruited the help of a few boys to do so 🥰

I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING AMAZING IN LIFE, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THIS ABSOLUTE SMORGASBORD OF BOYS

🥰🥺🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

BESTIE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MANY MY BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then you have the nerve to send ten of them so i can't even drop images as a response, i gotta use actual words???

like i'm obviously very hype about the boys because i am who i am but I LOVE YOU YOU'RE SUCH AN AMAZING FRIEND IDK HOW I GOT SO LUCKY BUT YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING AMAZING IN LIFE TOO idk my words aren't working and ha i'm definitely not crying (pos) but!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my elderly heart is so warm rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

VIVIAN

"Fuck you, too!" I hear Nikki shout at me as I walk down the stairs and I shake my head and ignore it, getting out of the club as fast as I can, heading to the car. 

"Get me to Franklin Plaza Suites, please." I tell him and he nods, not saying a word about the lack of people I came here with. 

Once I get to the apartments, I knock on Duff's door, and he opens up in under ten seconds. 

"Hey," he says, smiling at me.

I don't even reply, taking the cigarette from between his lips, standing on my toes to kiss him, backing him into the apartment, shutting the door with my foot. 

He chuckles, pulling away after a moment, looking bewildered for a second. 

"It's good to see you, too." He tells me, taking his cigarette back. "How was your night out?" 

"Awful." I reply, sighing, as I toss my purse onto the couch, and kick my heels off. "Got any Pepsi?" 

"Bought it just for you." He grins, nodding. 

"Yay." I let out, stepping to the fridge. 

"What was awful about it?" He presses, leaning against the bar. 

"Frickin' Nikki." I hiss, opening the can of soda. "He chewed me out about how evil and manipulative I am and what a bitch I've been and yada yada yada." I explain. "Then had the audacity to ask me if I was upset with him about something." I add. "Like, Gee, no dipshit, Einstein. You've put smack before me for the past four and a half years and then had a full fledged affair only, what, three years into the marriage?" 

"I think he's really sick, Viv." He says calmly and I look at him. "I'm not defending him in any way, like he's fucked up and shouldn't be on that to begin with but I've had friends completely change all because they were sick from being addicted to junk. He's sick and he's not himself." 

"Well, he's had plenty of time to correct it and get help but he's refused so now he's just gonna have to live with the consequences." I reply, taking a sip of my drink. 

"Have you filed for divorce yet?" He questions me and I shrug. 

"He just got home today, Duff, I didn't want the first thing he saw to be divorce papers." I tell him and he just nods. 

"Yeah, that wouldn't help anything." He mumbles. 

"But I'm doing it, you know." I assure him. "I'll go down there next week and draw some up."

He nods, not looking entirely convinced. 

"Hey, c'mere." I reach for him and he smiles, blowing smoke, before putting the cigarette out and stepping towards me. 

I put my Pepsi on the counter and wrap my arms around him, looking up at him. 

He leans down and kisses me, and I hum, smiling. 

"Where do you wanna go tonight?" He asks me and I shake my head a little. 

"I don't wanna go out." I tell him, running my hands under his t-shirt to feel his back. 

"You don't?" He asks, furrowing his brows a little.

"HmmHmm." I shake my head. 

"What do you wanna do?" He looks at me and I lick my lips, my hands tugging at his belt. 

He starts chuckling, grinning down at me, kissing me again. 

I pull his shirt up and he tosses it aside, his hand reaching for the zipper of my dress, dragging it down my back as our tongues twist together. 

My panties are kicked down my legs in milliseconds and I'm getting his pants unzipped within the same amount of time.

Before I can get on my knees, he's tossing me onto the counter, making me giggle before moaning once his tongue licks over my nipples before kissing down my stomach. 

My eyes roll back when his tongue circles my clit, my hands going to his soft hair as a gasp leaves my lips, my eyes closing for a moment.

His palm runs up the side of my thigh, his fingers interlocking with mine as I move my body against him, getting into a good rhythm. 

I let out a sharp moan, my core throbbing. 

He pulls away for a second to look at me splayed out for him, his hand leaving mine so his fingers can rub where his tongue left off, my chest heaving with each breath. 

I put my fingers over his before he's reaching his hand down and grabbing himself, taking a breath as I move his fingers out of my way and start pleasuring myself, seeing his eyes go lust-crazy. 

I remember doing this to Nikki a lot and it'd have him in a whirlwind. 

I slide one finger into myself, biting at my lip as I slide in another one, slowly moving them in and out, moaning and gasping softly with the friction, my other hand slowly grabbing my chest. 

"Viv," he says, rubbing his lips together just as I pull my fingers out and suck them clean. 

He's lightly grabbing my jaw, his mouth getting a taste of mine, and then the door swings open. 

"Oh, shit, sorry!" Steven blurts and we glare at him as Duff scrambles to cover me. 

"Dude what the hell?" Duff asks. 

"I thought she went home!" Steven yells in a whisper. 

"I lied!" I reply in the same tone, panic striking me. "Is he here?!"

"No," he tells me, "he and the boys hung back at the Cathouse." He adds.

"Okay." I reply quickly, hoping he'll take the hint and leave...but he just keeps standing there. 

"Stevie," Duff says. 

"Oh, sorry," he goes to shut the door, but stops for a moment. "I'm trying to hit the hay early, you guys mind keeping it down?" 

"Sure." We say at the same time. 

"Thanks." He shuts the door. 

Nikki was, indeed, next door, Steven just didn't want me to panic, and he wanted us to keep it down to avoid Nikki catching us.

"Shh!" Duff chuckles, smiling up at me, his hand covering my mouth as I slide back down onto him, making him take in an airy breath. 

I bite at his middle finger that's lined over my lips and he grabs at my hair and pulls my lips down to his, his arm wrapping around my waist as I sink onto him again, squeezing my eyes closed as he hits that spot in me that makes my legs shake and my toes curls. 

"Right there," I gasp out, throwing my head back, my body tensing, my walls tightening around him as he strategically puts his hands on my hips and holds me in place while pounding into me.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Duff," I struggle for air, my mind going hazy as pleasure gags me.  

I love Steven, but fuck him right now. 

I let out a loud moan, unable to contain myself as I squeeze in like a python around him and reach my release, my hands on his thighs, his hands moving to my boobs as I keep riding him, sweat rolling down my neck to nipple and he sits up and nips it off, making me run my fingers through his hair and he takes it as a telltale to keep sucking, licking and biting at my flesh. 

He does the same to my other breast before kissing at my neck, then my lips again. 

I notice that he's acting like he's holding himself back and I pull away from his lips to ask, "are you gonna come?" 

"When I get to a point I wanna pull out." He replies, his hand grasping my ass. 

"No," I shake my head a little, giggling. 

"No?" He grins as he plays dumb, kissing my collar bone before turning us over, slowing his thrusts down, kissing me passionately, and I dig my nails into his back, humming softly. 

"No." I say lightly, licking my lips, lacing my legs tightly around him and he looks between us and sighs, knowing he's not gonna win this one. 

Not that he really wants to. 

I take his middle and his pointer finger between my lips, sucking on them, and he balls his fist into the sheets by my head.

"Fuck, Viv," he curses when I hum around the digits. "You're gonna get me in trouble." He adds. 

"Not yet," I reply.

"Not yet?" He raises his brows and I kiss him one more time before nudging him off of me, turning over on my stomach, moving my legs into a center split, arching my back so he can slide back into me and I throw my hair to one shoulder and look back at him, moaning quietly when he says bad words under his breath before kissing from the base of my spine up between my shoulder blades. 

When I feel him getting back in me at this angle, I bite into the bedsheet, moaning in my throat. 

"Shit, Vivian." He says slowly pushing into my slick cunt. 

I take a breath through my mouth, discarding the sheet, clawing at them, instead. 

His hands support his weight right by my shoulders and I take one of his hands and put it around my throat, biting at my lip when he squeezes just enough to send a rush of pulses to my clit. 

"Duff, it feels so good," I tell him, gasping from the pleasure, snaking my hand down between me and the mattress to play with my clit while he slowly moves in and out of me, my breath catching in my constricted throat, further turning me on. 

"Why are you this fucking hot?" He whispers in my ear and I cry out, tightening around him. "Huh?"

"I don't--fuck, harder, Duff, please," I beg, desperate, and he lets go of my throat for a second to move in and out of me faster, and harder, beating into my pussy, making my juices coat my fingers that are toying with myself. 

His hand grabs at the side of my neck, keeping the side of my face pressed to the bed and I'm swallowed up by oncoming another orgasm. 

"You gonna come again?" He asks me, his sweat dripping onto my back and I nod, before it hits me like a wave, my back arching more, my thighs and pussy spasming, as "it's all yours" leaves my lips repeatedly, like a fucked porn star or something.

"It's all mine?" He asks me and I nod quickly. "Is that why you want me to cum in you so bad? It's all mine?" He teases.

"Mmhmm," I'm moving in rhythm with him, cum all on the sheets beneath us.

His thrusts get harder, and more intense and I'm nearly wanting to crawl up the mattress each time he makes me take his length, making my eyes water with pleasure. 

I realize he's about to come and I look at him to see he's looking at himself entering me. 

"Make me take every last drop," I beg, and he looks up at me before moaning out under his breath, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, he's burying himself into me, hot cum warming my insides as I moan out, satisfied.

He doesn't pull away until he's finished, collapsing next to me, and I crawl to the foot of the bed next to him, laying down, kissing his bicep and he turns over to look at me, bringing my lips to his. 

"You're dirty." He tells me and I chuckle, kissing him, again. "You're a fucking angel, though." He adds and I furrow my brows.

"I don't think angels do what we just did." I state. 

"No, no," he agrees, running his fingers through my hair. "You're just perfect, Viv." 

"Duff--" 

We're cut off by multiple people screaming next door, shouting something indistinctively.

"Duff, Viv!" Steven yells from the living room. 

"What?!" Duff calls and Steven stumbles to the bedroom. 

"Nikki's blue!" 

[cloudytamaki]

imma req a mha matchup because it seems fun and ily 😩🙏

I’m a Pisces and Gemini moon (Ik) and I’m ISFP

uh I’m skinny, 5’4 with black hair, blue eyes, and a Tim Burton ass look. Like I’m a dead girl walking. Queen Elizabeth has nothing on my ass. my likes are DAD JOKES bye they’re so funny, funky sweaters (i got a thrifted tee that said ‘vote Michelle for queen’ and idk who Michelle is but get it sis), playing episode for shits and giggles, and pancakes. Oh and fucking around on Yahoo answers (rip). My interests/hobbies are writing god awful shitty poetry and posting it on my emoboydepressddkid10 account, dance competitions which is BASICALLY child stripping but no one talks about it, hanging out with friends, and baking. My style is just idgaf central. the only thing I do is like a blurry eyeliner. Sometimes I go crazy and do a feline look. Wild shit. But yeah just like Air Force 1s, black skirt and some dad joke shirt. For my uh likes in a partner I’d say someone who’s fucking vibey, yk? Like I desperately want someone to steal a shopping cart with and explore abandoned buildings with. Committing crimes by yourself is boring. Someone who knows the universal snitches get stitches policy cause again live laugh commit arson. What I wouldn’t like in a partner is probably if they have a huge stick up their entire ass. Just like whole tree. A fine example is if I shared a Prince Phillip joke with you and you went “it’s not funny he died 😐” i hate you. like mf was a huge racist wdym? uh and also someone who will put effort in. like if we’re in a relationship be prepared to care about me. you can’t ghost my ass and leave me all suicidal and alone that’s bs. And someone who won’t leave me when I’m in the psych ward. Sorry best friend we ain’t got phones 😆 and someone who respects my friends. If you do Jack shit to my friends I’ll beat your ass without hesitation. I will never pick you over them so get it together. Bros before hoes. Oh and lastly someone who won’t bully me for my insecurities. My toxic ass best friends did this and I’m left with gaping holes in my heart so please don’t rip it up ty. my love language is definitely words. Compliment me bitch I’ll cry. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get enough love as a child or maybe it’s not. Either way fuck yeah make my ego strong. HEY AND ALSO someone who isn’t insecure that I’m bi is great. I’ve had boyfriends who’ve asked me deadass ‘yk...you should stop being bi.’ Like babe I’ve been trying. For seven years in total. It don’t work. Sorry?

anyway bye and also ur such a good writer like uh gimme what ur on? 😍

viv’s notes: bae this was one of the most interesting asks i had to respond to immediately. first off i love your personality please send me more asks. second, i’ve gotta agree with the prince philip jokes and shit. i must say his recent horrifying photos are now added to my folder of reaction pics. third, i am on nothing. the only way i’m holding onto sanity and grasping fleeting creativity is with a dark ass room and rain lofi at the moment. (plus i’d commit crimes with you <3)

i pair you with mina ashido.

you and her both have a collection of inside jokes and laugh about them often

she’s loyal and will stay by your side even if that means signing release forms at the police station or paying for a broken target cart

she’ll give you hugs and kisses but definitely expresses her affection verbally

she isn’t gonna pick at your insecurities but will smack anyone who does

“wow, so this place has been here longer than a hundred years?” you look around the building in awe, the sun shining through the broken glass windows.

“i think so, google said it was used as a hospital.” mina affirms, nodding to herself as she looks around.

“it’s pretty nice in here. you can see the sunlight and everything.”

mina takes a selfie of the both of you, flashing a peace sign before grabbing your left hand. “come on, let’s go!”

[simply--luna]

so um. let's- let's talk about Addict, ay?

tw // sexual abuse, rape, abuse in general.

this is probably gonna end up being way too long, so a warning in advance.

Let's start with the quite obvious takeaway, Angel is a victim of sexual abuse and said abuser is Valentino. I knew Val was gonna be a bad person but honestly this is not what i was expecting. It- it made me cry like a lot of other fans. Now, me and a few other people on discord were thinking that Angel has stockholm syndrome, as if he can leave the relationship in the first place (overlord contracts and all that). He definitely probably uses drugs, alcohol, and the hotel to hide/cope with his abuse and literal awful life. No wonder he's an addict. I felt more for him than I ever have. I can't empathize, but I sympathize to extreme amounts.

On Valentino though: Yes what he did is really, really awful, but he is a fictional character from a show set in literal hell. You are very allowed to want to kill him and all that, but reporting his instagram account and sending him hate isn't going to do anything. I am not making excuses for him, because god knows he doesn't deserve it. I think his character is a lot more interesting now. I thought he was cool before...but now I just want to know more and more about him. I'm hoping he has layers and maybe that gets explored in the show. I- I cant explain it. I hate huni a lot, but I love him a lot.

Onto Cherri Bomb! THIS BITCH DESERVES AN AWARD. THE AMOUNT OF LOVE SHE HAS FOR ANGEL GIVES ME HOPE. What a fucking amazing friend. Now, about mister mystery man. I and few others I know see him as a relative of miss Cherri. This is due to the australian hat and the fact that they share the X pupil thing. I also love Cherri Bomb a helluva lot more because she and Angel have the most wholesome friendship ever.

Now- The animation. Viv and her team knocked it out of the park. The animation has never looked better. I have to give credit where it's due, because this- is goregeous. From the backgrounds to the colors to the cleanup it's literally just beautiful. If this is the way the entire show is gonna look- we don't deserve it. Not to mention the Addict is a fucking bop on its own? Amazing song by Silva Hound!

Anyways, That's it from me! All my thoughts have been dumped! If you haven't watched it, you totally should. Can't wait to see more of the characters and more of the show!

edit: about mystery man, somebody in the crew said that the zoophobia character everyone's comparing him too has nothing to do with the character in the video, they are different people. and it was kinda confirmed that it's a relative and not an ex.

[loserholland]

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝟏𝟎𝟏

𝟎𝟎𝟒 ➺ 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬

𝟎𝟎𝟏 ➺ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝟎𝟎𝟐 ➺ 𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞

𝟎𝟎𝟑 ➺ 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐧

Pairing ➺ Fuckboy!Tom Holland x Reader

Warning ➺ kinda angsty, none really

Word Count ➺  3,591

Summary ➺  A bet that was too hard to refuse.

A/N ➺  Sorry I’ve been so MIA! I was studying to get my permit and had a bad writers block ): also I’ll be working on one sided love and little cupid tomorrow!

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand @taronxfiction @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine @spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou @babebenhardy @rivervixenbaby @acklesholland @zabdisamor @keepingupwiththehollands @sweet666pea @sspider-parker @jackiehollanderr  @caro0512 @thewinchesterchronicles @cporter003 @kisses-holland @spideysnugget @cryszus @sunflowerharrystyles @peterunderoos 

@iloveyou3000morgan  @random-things-i-love 

*The strike through your name just means I couldn’t tag you, please message me if anything*

→ 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝟏𝟎𝟏 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ←  @writingstoriesaboutcharacters​ @rockinmarcel @luvborhap @kisses-holland @jessybellsworld @v-valz-n @laprvphette 

☞  Masterlist  ☜

-

“My love for you, wasn’t real”

All Tom could think about was the pain in her eyes, the moment he had said it wasn’t real. Those beautiful (Y/E/C) eyes that was once filled with so much love was now filled with hate and sadness. It’s funny how someone can go from loving you to hating you.

"You’re a div, you know that?” Harrison commented moving around Tom’s room to open the curtain’s he drew shut. Tom pulled his comforter over his face to hide from the sun’s rays, Harrison rolled his eyes in annoyance pulling the soft material off of Tom.

“You broke it off? Why? All because you’re worried about your position as President? How shallow have you gotten Tom? Vivian is now questioning if our relationship is a bet. You really fucked up Tom.” 

Tom stared blankly at the ceiling, he knew he fucked up. Harry and Sam had been texting him all night, asking him why he did it without a second thought. Why he continued to go on with the bet when he knew he loved her, all because he wanted to be the one to run ZZB?

“Haz, leave please.” Tom mumbled weakly tugging the comforter over his head, he already knew how much he fucked up. He didn’t need to be reminded of it,

“Fine, but you really chose your pride and ego over a (Y/N). She really did love you div, and now you’ve lost it.”

“I fucking hate you and never wanna see you again!”

He didn’t need to be reminded. (Y/N) said it loud and clear.

Vivian had bought chocolates and ice cream, placing her laptop on (Y/N) bed so they could binge on sad rom-com’s. (Y/N) was gonna miss seeing Tom everday, usually Tom would wait outside her class then walk her to her next class. Or he’d bring her coffee in the morning, send her a good morning text and hope’s she has a wonderful day.

There was no more of that. 

No more coffee, no more morning text. No more Tom.

It makes you think, did he really truly love her? I mean, he’d get her coffee and wait and walk her to her classes. He’d also send cute morning and night text. There was a part of her that missed that, I mean that’s what you do when you’re going through a break up. 

Reminiscing all the memories.

“Do you think Harrison and I’s relationship is based of a bet?”

(Y/N) could hear the worry in her best friend’s voice. A few days after she had told Vivian her and Tom broke up because their relationship was just a bet, Vivian began to worry that Haz and her’s relationship was a bet as well.

Through (Y/N) eye’s, she could see how much Harrison loved and cared for her. He’s too sweet and kind to do bet’s, let alone try to break Vivian’s heart. If anything, it was more of Tom and Jake’s thing to do these stupid bets.

“Viv, god no. Honestly, Harrison loves you. He wouldn’t do that to you, I think he liked you too much to make you a bet. Also, he worked his ass off to get your attention, he wouldn’t hurt you like-”

Vivian placed her hand atop of (Y/N) giving it a small squeeze of reassurance, she didn’t need to say the name of the person who broke her heart. 

“Let’s forget about this conversation and continue watching 13 going on 30.”

She hated to see her best friend this way, crying over a stupid boy who broke her heart. Just wait till she gave him a piece of her mind.

“Hold on!”

Haz shouted descending down the staircase to open the door, whoever was standing out there had been banging on the door for the past three minutes and no one decided to answer it?

“Alright settle do-Vivian?”

Vivian brushed pass her boyfriend and headed up the stairs, “Hey babe, let’s go get lunch. Let me talk to your bff really quick.” Haz shut the door watching as his girlfriend turned the corner, his eyes widened realizing what she was about to do.

“Oh-Viv! Wait!”

Vivian swung Tom’s door open, everything was a mess. Beer bottles along with a variety of chips were spread out on the floor, the blinds were drawn shut and Tom was hiding beneath his comforter.

Haz stopped in Tom’s doorway, watching Tom sit upright against his headboard. His girlfriend stood beside his bed with her arms crossed across her chest, was it a bad time to admit she looked hot when she was anger? Yeah, bad timing very bad.

“Viv-lovely-”

She turned around pointing her index finger at her boyfriend of one year, “Harrison, go get ready. In the mean time leave Thomas and I alone, I just want to chat.” Tom waved off Harrison who slowly backed away from the door and heading towards his room.

“You’ve got some nerve Holland-”

Vivian started off, she felt absolutely livid. 

“-was there any part of you that actually loved (Y/N)? If you really did have any feelings for (Y/N) if you really did love her. You would have chosen her, even if that meant losing your position..”

Tom stared blankly at his lap, allowing what Vivian had to say to slowly sink in. 

“but that’s the thing with men, no boys like you. Boys like you don’t grow up, all they care about is themselves and how many girls they can get in bed with them. First you find your victim, second you give her this ‘reassurance’ that she’s the only one. And then, when she develops feelings and is in too deep, that’s when you take their hearts and crush it. That’s what’s wrong with boys like you, they only care for themselves. If you did love (Y/N), you would’ve stepped down from your position and choose her. You wouldn’t have continued the bet, because you knew what would’ve happened. From my guess, it’s everything you thought would happen.”

Vivian began to walk away when she caught a glimpse of Harrison from the corner of her eye.

“I hope you find it in yourself to change for the better Thomas. Grow up and out of this little act of your’s, it’s not good for you.”

(Y/N) was offered an amazing life time opportunity to spend a semester in Paris, she had a three weeks to decide if she wanted to go or not. The letter had came in before she had gone to London with Tom, and this week was the last week to summit an answer.

Her professeur had encouraged her to do it, she said “It’s a great once and a life-time opportunity, you’ll learn so much.” I mean, she wasn’t wrong. It’ll just be one semester and she’ll be back for the second half after winter break. 

So she took it, and now she was packed and ready to explore the beautiful city of Paris. Vivian had dropped her off and promised to visit during thanksgiving break. She had also requested to send lot’s of pictures and wished (Y/N) the best of luck to find a french guy.

That’s what best friends are for.

Something she wished happened was, Tom came running into the airport and confessed his love for her. But her life wasn’t a rom-com and that would totally not happen. It was good to wish though.

2 months later

School was back in session, now day’s Tom hung his head low trying not to draw any attention to himself. He would take the route to class where he’d usually pass (Y/N), he began to notice how she wasn’t walking the same route. Of course she walked a different route, she didn’t want to see him.

There were nights when he’d lay awake and wonder how (Y/N) was doing. Nights where he’d stare at his phone and ponder if he should text her or call her. Nights when he’d scroll through his camera-roll of pictures he and (Y/N) took, or picture’s he’d take when (Y/N) was studying. 

Tom knocked lightly on (Y/N) dorm, god she wouldn’t want to see him. If anything she’d slam the door on his face, the sound of the door creaking open caused Tom to quickly turn the other direction and walk away.

He missed her, more than words could explain. 

Vivian stuck her head out the hallway and noticed Tom walking away at a fast pace, “Holland! You don’t get to knock and dash!” he stood in his place cursing to himself for not being fast enough, turning on his heels he walked back over to the dorm.

“Hey Vivian, is um (Y/N) here?”

She rose her brows in confusion, “She hasn’t been here for the past two months.” did he not know? I mean she did tell Harrison and expected him to tell Tom because they’re best friends, why wouldn’t Harrison tell him?

“W-what do you mean?” Tom asked in confusion, did she go back home to take some time off? 

“Harrison didn’t tell you? Jesus, I want to slap him sometimes. (Y/N) is in Paris right now, she was offered to take a semester there.” 

Paris, France

That was one number one on her bucket list, visit the city of love. Not only did she visit the city of love, she’ll be there for a semester. There were nights when the two would just talk, and go on about places they’d love to visit. Paris was one of the places (Y/N) would go on and on about.

“It’s amazing, the architecture is beyond magnificent. Also their history, I could go on and on about that.” (Y/N) spoke her head resting against Tom’s chest as her fingers traced random shapes on his abdomen.

Times like this, he’d space out and watch her in awe as she spoke passionately he loved the way she scrunched her nose when she spoke ever now and then or the twinkle in her eyes and she dreamt of what she’d do. 

“She um, left this envelope with your name on it. I think she knew one day you’d come by.”

Dear Thomas, 

 I guess if you’re reading this, you came by my dorm. Maybe you were asking for me, or maybe you were asking for your hoodies back. If you’re here because of the second option, I folded all your hoodies neatly and placed them in a bag. You can ask Vivian for them. If you came here because of option one, well I’m in Paris. The city that I wished and hoped to visit, with you. Before I left, I decided to write this because no matter how much pain and sadness you’ve caused. I still love you. I hate that, I hate that I still love you even though your love for me wasn’t real. I’m a real idiot for that, I’m an idiot for even writing this letter. But they said if you write out of you feel, it’ll make you feel a lot better. God I hope that’s true. I just miss you Thomas, I miss walking to class with you, you bringing me coffee and helping me study. I miss laying next to you. I hope, that you’ll change and be the Thomas I saw everyday, the Thomas who loves and cares for his family, please don’t be the Thomas who put’s up this act to cause other’s to fear him. Please don’t be the Thomas who thought a bet wouldn’t hurt his relationship. You have so much potential, you know you can do much better that President of ZZB. We both know that. Thomas, I hope one day you’ll let yourself feel for once, to allow yourself to get hurt. To tear down that stupid wall that hides what I saw everyday. Maybe someone time in the future, I’ll be ready to talk to you. But for now, I just hope that, maybe if you do find someone else, love the person genuinely. 

(Y/N)

P.S, 

If you plan to come any time sooner, you’ll know where to find me.

(Y/N) sat there, looking over the letter. She had spent hours contemplating if she should just crumple it up and throw it into the trash or just place it in the envelope written with Tom’s name.

She had chosen option two, hoping and praying she made the right choice. She stared at the bag with Tom’s neatly folded hoodies, she wanted to keep one. To wear and have him close to her. So she did, she kept the hoodie he wore the first night they met.

The night that changed everything.

If she didn’t go to the party with Vivian, maybe she wouldn’t have met him.

If he didn’t take her out to coffee, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten closer to one another. 

 If he didn’t accept the bet, then maybe he would’ve lost his position 

If, if Tom came clean about the bet, way before it even ended. Maybe they’d still be together.

Maybe.

“You have so much potential, you know you can do much better that president of ZZB. We both know that.”

The words echoed in his head, maybe it was time. Time to step down from what he thought he enjoyed and loved, partying and being the king of NYU. He had spent the night thinking about if this was a good choice, the right choice. 

The right choice could’ve been done months ago, when he knew he actually loved her. Right then and there would’ve called off the bet and wouldn’t give two shit’s about being President. Instead of trying to fix the past, fix your present so it won’t repeat in the future.

-

"Bonjour, puis-je avoir du café glacé et un croissant s'il vous plaît?” (Y/N) closed the cafe menu handing it to the waiter who wrote down her order. Oh Paris, it was truly beautiful except for the smell of cigarettes that filled the air. She enjoyed going to different café’s everyday and spending most of her afternoon there.

It was already one o’clock in Paris and seven in the morning New York time. This was usually the time Vivian was waking up for her eight o’clock class, and the usual time they’d just talk about how their day was yesterday.

“Morning, what do you have planned for today?” (Y/N) questioned taking a sip of her ice coffee humming lightly at how sweet her drink was, she could hear Vivian rummaging around for something in the background.

“Class, then a date with Harrison later. Also Tom stepped down as president of ZZB.” 

(Y/N) felt her heart drop to the bottom of her stomach, “Why?” all she could think about is what she wrote in the letter, about how he can do much better than president. 

“I've been waiting to tell you, he came by last week. I guess, whatever was in the letter, helped him.” Vivian spoke as she searched her drawers.

"Did he come back? For his hoodies?” she fiddled with the small spoon she had placed in her coffee twirling it around watching as it created a little whirlpool.

Maybe he didn’t care for those hoodies.

“Uh no, the last I saw him was when I gave him the envelope. Harrison said, he needed to take some time off. I think he went to visit his family. But I’ll text you later, I’m gonna grab something to eat then head to class. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

(Y/N) ended the call sighing to herself as she stared at her home screen, she still hadn’t changed it nor did she really plan too. At least she didn’t plan to change it soon, it was a picture of Tom sleeping. The morning after celebrating their sixth month anniversary, his curls fell atop his forehead with his mouth slightly agape.

As much as she wanted to delete their pictures, she found herself canceling the photos she selected to delete.

There were nights where she’d lay in bed and stare at his contact, unsure if she should call him. Nights where she’d type out a message and her thumb would hover over the little arrow, only to delete the message. 

She gathered her belongs and left a some cash to cover her bill before off to start the rest of her day.

-

"She’s always at this cafe La Fontaine de Mars, oh forgive my french. No? No laugh? Anyways, I’m not too sure where her airbnb is, I just know it’s near the Cham-Cham-” Vivian began to snap her fingers trying to pronounce it as best as she could.

“Champ Elysees.”

Vivian glared at Harrison scoffing at how he just cut her off, “Do you want to explain it?” Harrison shook his head no pressing his lips into a thin line allowing his girlfriend to continue.

“Well, what Harrison said. So once we land, we’ll check into the hotel and then you’ll go look for (Y/N).”

At the time (Y/N) had called they were getting ready to go to the airport, their flight was at 9:15 and they’d land the next day at 9:30. Hence the reason why she was causing such a ruckus, she was looking for her passport.

“You guys didn’t have to come.” Tom mumbled handing the worker his ticket and passport as Vivian scoffed lightly behind him.

“Over my dead body Holland, just because I’m helping you doesn’t mean I forgive you.” 

Tom had originally planned to go by himself but, Vivian had forced herself and Harrison onto the trip saying she missed her best friend and the only way he’d go alone to Paris if pigs started flying.

“This is gonna be a long 18 hours.” Harrison mumbled following his best friend and girlfriend through the tunnel.

-

(Y/N) sat on the balcony to her airbnb it was eleven o’clock and she planned on heading to the café in two hours. The reason why she’s always at the café at one, is because her body and mind is still on New York time. Hence the reason why she always get’s iced coffee, not that it’s not normal to have coffee anytime of the day.

She was glad that she took this opportunity, being able to study abroad for a semester. A paid trip to study abroad, all expenses paid for and taken care of. Yet, she missed New York. Paris was always a dream city to visit but, she missed her friends. She missed Tom. 

The only reason why (Y/N) accepted to go was because she thought, she could move on from Tom and spending time away maybe that’ll change how she felt about him.

Yup, that’s not working.

She got up from her seat and headed back in to get ready for the rest of her day.

Little did she know, just about an hour ago her best friend had landed in Paris along with the person she couldn’t get off her mind.

-

“Here’s the game plan boys, the hotel is within walking distance of the café. While Harrison and I are out attempting to sight see, Tom will go and find (Y/N). Got it?” 

The boys looked between one another shrugging at whatever Vivian had said, “Got it.” Vivian nodded at the two before excusing herself to get changed out of her airport outfit suggesting the boys do the same, especially Tom if he wanted (Y/N) to talk to him.

He felt beyond nervous, he hadn’t seen or spoken to her in almost two months. Just because she said if you plan to come anytime sooner, you’ll know where to find me, doesn’t mean she’d want to talk. 

Before he knew it, Tom found himself walking to the café. 

(Y/N) sat at her usual table scrolling through her phone to call Vivian, she waited for her to answer listening to the line ring for a few seconds before going to voicemail.

“Odd, maybe she’s sleeping in.” (Y/N) thought as she ended the call opening messages to leave her a good morning text and asking her to call her later.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Paris, light chatter moved up and down the street along with cars and mopeds. Tom stood a few feet away from the cafe, he could seen the girl he flew 3,625 miles to see. She looked as beautiful as ever, even beautiful since the last time he had seen her.

“This is now or never, you can only fix the present. Not the past.” Tom thought as he began to walk closer to the café, (Y/N) attention was on her phone her head hanged low and she mindlessly scrolled through instagram.

She pressed on Vivian’s story to see she took a picture of her and Harrison standing in front of the eiffel tower in confusion, “Her photoshopping skills are getting better or she was actually here.” (Y/N) thought to herself noticing the photo was taken about ten minutes ago.

“Hi.” 

A voice said, an all to familiar voice. 

(Y/N) lifted her head to see Tom was standing in front of her, maybe this was a dream. A really vivid crazy dream, he couldn’t have been here, neither could Vivian and Harrison.

She pinched her exposed skin in hopes that she’d wake up, yet all she got was a little sharp pain to her wrist. This was real, he actually read the letter. Tom was in the flesh, standing right in front of her.

“Hi.” (Y/N) responded with a small smile.

Maybe, everything was meant to be this way.

[vivicnism-blog]

did i just see (EMILY RATAJKOWSKI) walking down sixth street ?! oh, wait, it’s just (VIVIAN KILINSKI), the (24) year old (CIS FEMALE) (STRIPPER) who has a reputation for being (EMPOWERING & HONEST) but (COLD & STUBBORN). let’s hope (SHE) prepared to take on the wild ride that is austin, texas. / (chloe, 18,she/her, cst)

*guess whos back by eminen plays* guess who’s back, back again, shady’s back, tell a friend.

alright i’ll stop. Anyways, it’s chloe, (i play my other bby elliot) with another gut-wrenching character. vivian is a revolution and gonna take austin by storm. jk she just wants to be left alone, but plot twist she’s problematic as heck !! we’ll get into that in a bit...

(( WARNING THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG I’M SORRY ))

no one really calls her vivian unless ur sharon (and no one is sharon but sharon, so back tf up m8) everyone just calls her vi or viv or if ur her brothers, v-dizzle. 

born in pheonix, aizona, vi was born to stanley and amanda kilinski. mandy was a nice jewish girl from the bronx who had moved to arizona for college. stan was a straight up army man, discipline to the core. they were married and popped out four kids, then when vivian was 2, her mother filed for divorce and went back to new york. the kids stayed with dad tho! whether that was best or not, you can decide.

(( FAMILY BIO BEGINNING. YOU DON’T GOTTA READ IF U DON’T WANT TO, BUT IT’S IMPORTANT ))

mom came around for like, holidays, and called on birthdays. they were so dramatically apart, though, it was difficult. their father was a well-payed realtor. mom, though, worked in a bakery as far as she remembers.

now, viv was rlly young when her parents split, so all she’s known is just having her dad around. it was tougher for her brothers though. ernest was the oldest, and he always took it hard. which causes an issue for later. u will see

dad loved the italian culture. since he was straight up polish, his parents having fled after the second war, he didn’t really get it until he was in his own house. The family took vacations every other year to florence, dad cooked weekly dinners of different italian cuisine. and always drank italian wine. so what did good old stan do ??

married an italian woman of course !

and in short, god bless sharon banchi.

vivian was about 7 when they were properly married. they’d met on one of their family vacations and did that whole long distance thing for a while. Sharon came from a vineyard and a family of money, so she’d visit yearly. Eventually she just moved in. she was beautiful, and younger than their father (not by much, but she had youthful skin and he was a single father of four, so he always looked older)

ernest and norman, the two oldest, hated her. always playing pranks and shunning her son marco (who just about the same age as vi-- they quickly became friends)

but fun fact daddy was in the army for years and took non of their shit !! discipline and respect was vvv important in the kilinski house !! 

(( BACK TO THAT GOOD SHIT ))

anyways, boring fam shit over. sharon’s cool, marco’s a bro, vivian has a family finally. and it’s a high fucking testosterone house okay !!

she was !!! raised !!! to !! suppress !! feelings !!! bc crying’s not manly. real men don’t cry. vivian was raised to be a real man ok !!

*sidenote: the only time you’ll see our girl follow rules is in that house it’s all straight poster and ‘yes sir’s there. but fuck the rest of yall.

this is already getting so long i do apologize

but high school was kinda rough. u know, she was a babe, she was loud and rlly stood her ground. boys followed her and she was like ??? never ?? really ?? into it ??

but she kissed one in a movie theater sophomore year so people would stop talking

didn’t date anyone until people started whispering midway through junior year. She let joey truman fuck her at jessica abernathy’s winter party. it sucked. but at least they stopped calling her a d*ke

PLOT TWIST SHE IS THO EEEWHOAOAOAOAA

this is never something vivian really thought about. she never gave herself the option to explore the possibility of liking girls because it was so OUTRAGEOUS that she’d simply stop at the rapid heartbeats she got from kelly welch, the flyer on her cheer team. 

BUT LMAO DON’T WORK LIKE THAT HUH B ??

after high school, she was going to college at university of pheonix. just to mostly get her generals. she had no idea what she wanted to do, or what she liked. 

but her creepy brother’s friend could hook her up with a /real/ nice job. which, sounded terrible, but her dad was hounding her ass about getting a job and making money and had to move out by the end of the month so to stripping she went.

it’s real awful she hated it. but hey, it made really good money and her student loans went down. 

so she graduated with a bachelors in business and marketing. had no idea what to do with it. she was still stripping. and honestly, she didn’t want to have to start over, you know ? she had a nice fucking place and could afford real nice clothes and jewlery. when u make bank, it’s hard to give it up

the actual job sucked tho. with all the control and harassment and vi hatd her body most of the time and worked until her core felt like it was going to burn but her lady friens said her abs were sick so bonus, right ??

but oh no, then SHE came along

oh ya it’s one of /those/ plots

she was tall and beautiful and talked to vivian like a real human being and then also put her in her fucking place. she was an angel. a true grace of god. vivian was absolutely in love with her and this girl knew it. this girl took vivian by the strand of her hair and dragged her along for the best, gayest ride ever. sexually liberating, emotionally freeing, viv finally saw that she wasn’t a sexual and emotional void. like she could feel something for someone. 

BUT HAH THAT GIRL WANTED TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL AND AFTER LIKE A YEAR OF RUNNING AROUND U KNO IT MAKES SENSE TO HOLD HANDS IN PUBLIC BUT UH NO VIVIAN ISN’T GAY 

so they had a huge fight, people were starting to find out. before it could get back to her dad or her brothers, vivian stomped on her heart and ran away

TO AUSTIN. WHERE SHE STILL STRIPS. bc she likes diamonds. and also kind of hates herself so getting that self loathing validation help her thrive. so she thinks.

and she’s still deep deep in the closet

THIS GOT SO LONG I’M SO SORRY I’M REALLY SORRY. BUT PLS I CAN PROBABLY RECAP THIS IN IMS IF U WANNA PLOT JUST LIKE THIS I LOVE MY BBY SO MUCH. I HAVE CONNECTIONS IN MIND BUT THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG SO I’LL JUST BE ADDING THEM HERE SHORTLY.

[chaifootsteps]

Log Anon here

Now, usually when I talk about other anons I act like some sort of god. Case and point that unending search threat. But now, I’ve been inspired to use my shitty writing skills to make lyrics about how much that anon’s song sucked.

———————————

ANON! Let’s start with the fact that this Rapper thought he was a genius.

Sitting there on a chair hoping that Viv would touch their penis.

Man, the whole thing is unreadable, agreeably irredeemable.

I’m filled with laughter that they didn’t think that grammar matter, making it damn unappeasable.

Here’s a lesson, never randomise where capitalise letters, it doesn’t make it better, make sure you fix this error.

Anon coming in here thinking their Chai’s terror, but you’re a joke so just give up the endeavour.

The damn block you wrote makes you a damn dope

As well next time you write keep the swears out or do you need some bloody soap?

Here’s things you should’ve realised before you started to theorise.

Chai speaks about Viv because Anon’s bring it up most of the time.

“to Survive or to live”, yo, Mr Potatohead, that line should’ve been cut in half since they don’t rhyme so I’m charging ya for this lyrical crime.

The irony of bringing up witch when you fail to spell.

The hell Chai getting caught for? Revealing pedophiles and workplace abuse?

I hope you know what you’re doing because hating that has no excuse.

You’re the damn fool, you drooling tool, for getting all blue because someone can live both on and off the wifi.

Honestly your likability is so low that when you visit, all of South Africa cry.

I’m seeing lines so unrefined, so horribly designed, that would make Shakespeare want to die.

I think the real freak is the one posted a mediocre rap to defend a bad show.

Every argument you bring up blows and annoyingly disrupts the flow.

Poor attitude? At least be brave and show your true account if you gonna diss.

You tried your shot at internet fame but too bad that by next month no one will know this exists.

The reason no one leaves the hate is because there’s still people who still need to learn.

Now where’s your next burns, oh wait, you playing favourites this turn?

Aw man, this is weak, you think you’re making them meek, you’re one weird freak.

Rhyming must be tough for a kindengartener, butthey know how to rhyme different words.

The logic you bring for Scienceservant name is worse than the smell of a pile of turds.

I ask the same question, is it worth it to do this when you’re nothing but absurd?

Damn, only a cuck can bother someone while trying to suck off another.

ANON! Why the fuck can’t you write?

You say Chai’s hiding but you are too, coward.

You act like you’re the best when your personality, scent and everything else are soured.

Boy, you’re the ending of Danny Phantom, bad, confusing, and an insult to creation itself.

Now go put on your diaper before you go pee yourself.

———————————

At least this won’t the worst rap on this blog

From the ballpit we come and to the ballpit we will all return.

[firecrackerhh]

I don’t think sending people death threats is right or whatever, but I’m not gonna pretend like the people crying about our very fucking existence haven’t done the same exact shit.

But of course, antis don’t have shit to say when WE get fucking harassed, fuck us right? Maybe we would be kinder to them if they showed any respect for us! But noooooo, fuck that, god forbid they don’t virtue signal every wretched hour about how every little aspect of the show, fandom and creator included, pisses them the fuck off at all times and how awful we are and how dangerous to society we are or whatever the fuck you mentally ill weirdos believe.

But the second we give them back that energy they wanna play victim? Spare me. Play in fucking traffic or something.

“But that’s-“ what? Is it mean? Am I hurting your wittle fee fees? 🥺 oh you poor fucking babies. Cry to someone who gives a fuck.

It’s not like any fan who tells these people to off themselves is gonna actually do it, antis live off of spite and hatred and frankly anyone with such rancid opinions as them tunes us the fuck out anyway. It’s the ones who don’t y’all should be worried about.

I just wish these people could stop being such fucking hypocrites. Like you can’t bitch and moan about death threats when you’re in a group of people who routinely say that others should die over fictional fucking bullshit.

May I remind you all that this fandom wasn’t half as bad before these miserable fucks came in and started their whining and crying over their bad faith takes on everything involving the show? If anything, these people love the drama, they love the attention, it’s probably the only reason why some of these bastards wake up in the fucking morning! But sure, cry like our negative attention isn’t what you want.

Sure, it’s the hazbin fans that routinely send death threats, say racist shit, act homophobic, whatever, yeah, it’s always the fans right? Never antis, no, not them, pure cinnamon rolls they are./sarcasm

Clean up your own fucking house before you judge other people’s dumbfuck.

And yeah sure, Squidiot apologized for whatever bad shit she’s said and done in the past, but to be honest with you folks, I don’t believe this bitch for a second.

Lmao the same bitch who claimed that Viv was going to destroy society with her fucking cartoons thinks sending death threats is bad when by her own ‘logic’ (if you could even call it that) the only way Viv’s “society ending” cartoons would stop being created is if she died.

I can’t imagine being such a fucking tool to where I don’t fucking realize “hey…maybe this group of people routinely sending death threats to people over fictional bullshit isn’t the group I belong in” but then have the balls to say to the world “Vivziepop’s cartoon empire should fall!!!” Or whatever wacko shit without realizing the consequences of such a statement.

And just for the sake of clarity, yeah, clearly I’m not the pinnacle of kindness myself, I’m beyond aware, but Christ, at least I don’t directly send people death threats or whatever, like yeah, I’ve said bad shit before, I’m not denying that, but at least I don’t send it to the people I’m mad at.

If an anti sees my posts and that makes them angry that’s their own fault for looking at my shit to begin with.

Honestly the fact that most of those pictures of “harassment” the anti showed of non-Hazbin fans is at most fans telling the person “can you shut the fuck up” is kinda evidence to me these people are babies.

Like statistically I know there’s gotta be some subsection of fans who do send death threats on the regular and that shit isn’t ok, but shitty people are in every fandom my dude, it’s kinda inevitable, maybe stop whining that the hazbin fandom doesn’t do enough to remove people from the fandom and focus on your fucking behavior.

As if removing people from any fandom is even really possible, definitely for a fandom the size of Hazbin. It isn’t like we vote in leaders or something, it isn’t like Viv is Zeus and the big Hazbin accounts are Olympians, at most you can warn people of a person’s behavior, ostracize them even, but that doesn’t guarantee they’ll stop watching the show or engaging in fandom in other ways or with a different group of people or something.

People are awful, so most fandoms are toxic waste dumps, the hazbin fandom isn’t special, neither are antis, we’re all varying degrees of awful, it’s just a matter of what degree you are, and I think being an anti is significantly worse than any fan of a stupid fucking cartoon.

Giving off some real “I have the right to free speech!” Energy tbh. Like we all have an opinion my dude, doesn’t mean we’re obligated to endure your horseshit.

But on the bright side, that free speech bullshit applies to us as much as them, truly nothing is more American than telling a bitch to shut the fuck up over their bullshit-ass opinion. God bless America.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🔥🧨

[firecrackerhh]

I get that Chai is a nuisance to the Hazbin fandom but if you’re just constantly stalking them I think you’re just giving them the attention they want.

Also you frankly are no better than them if you do that, don’t fucking moralize it like “oh it’s ok if I stalk them cuz they’re awful!” Dude…like cmon…you know Chai would say the same thing right?

Just put the evidence that actually matters (no I do not give a single shit if they’re a proshipper and that’s irrelevant anyway) and leave it at that. Posting about every little interaction they have, even when said interactions are fucking irrelevant to your point makes you look like a fucking creep.

Of course them calling Viv a zoophile or whatever they said about her is obvious bullshit, but…shit man, isn’t it also beyond obvious by now that no amount of people bitching about her existence is gonna fucking stop her?

People have been bitching at Viv for years about fucking every little thing she’s done online since she had her zoophobia comic, and yet, she’s still here, far more successful than any whiny bitch crying about her. What you’re doing is a waste of time.

Stop it. You’re making us look bad. You’re making yourself look bad. Please touch some fucking grass. This isn’t nearly as big of a deal as you’re fucking making it out to be. Chill. The fuck. Out.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Two--Part 2

Part Seventy-Two--Part 1

"Good girl." Nikki praises me when I move up and down on his cock, my back arched while he stands on his knees, fucking me from behind--well, technically I'm fucking him, he's at a standstill watching in awe. 

I look back at him, tugging my lip into my mouth to keep from screaming when he grabs at my hips and goes back to pounding into me, evidence of me already coming twice, running down my thighs. 

He continues to hit that spot in me that makes my eyes roll back and my hands ball up in the sheets. 

"Nikki, I--" I can't finish, a tear rolling down my cheek because of how good I feel right now.

His hand reaches down and his fingers brush against my clit, making me tighten around him even more, my face burying in the sheets as I cry out in ecstacy.

"Are you gonna come?" He asks me and I nod, spreading my legs as wide as I can, my soaked pussy hungry for every inch. 

He chuckles to himself before he pulls out of me, making me whine.

Before I can ask what's wrong, he's pushing me over to face me, holding my thighs apart as he goes back to fucking me, picking up where he left off, making sure he's hitting that same spot. 

I dig my nails into his wrists, looking at him as he smirks down at me, sweat rolling down his chest, hotly. 

"I had to watch you when you did it." He tells me in reference to watching me come.

I don't say anything, instead, grabbing one of his hands and guiding it to my clit.

He catches on and his other hand suddenly grabs my throat making me grin as more liquid coats him in my pussy. 

"It's mine, isn't it?" He asks me, calloused fingers beginning to rub at my sensitive nerves, making me moan out, my lids half shut as I nod.

"All yours, daddy." I purr out, and he goes even harder into me, keeping his fingers on my clit before I tighten around him so hard he groans, my cum running out of me, and he leans over me, continuing the beating between my legs, his tongue meeting mine hotly as he starts to near his end, too. 

"Face, tits, or mouth?" He asks me.

"Surprise me." I reply, my chest heaving.

"I know what my dirty little slut wants." He tells me and I read his mind, nodding. 

Within a couple minutes, he's burying himself in me and finishing, making my eyes close as a satisfied moan leaves my throat. 

He collapses beside me, taking deep breaths until he calms down, while I immediately feel sleepy.

"Will you quit it?" I grumble in a few minutes, half asleep, unable to feel my legs as Nikki let's out yet another loud breath, obviously not tired...and obviously not wanting me to leave him awake by himself. 

"Don't go to sleep yet." He tells me and I groan, turning to face him. 

"You just screwed me into next week, Nikki, I'm going to bed." I reply and he looks at me, unamused. 

"Vivian, I'm not tired." 

"Because you were snorting lines off of me earlier tonight after I told you not to."

"I think a blowjob will put me to sleep." He informs me when I close my eyes again and I scoff. 

"Better learn to suck your own dick, then, because I'm not giving you a blowjob right now. I just gave you one during foreplay." 

"Okay, then let me eat you--"

"--I'm about to go get in the guest bedroom." I state. 

"Fine, fine." He sighs out...before he starts moving his legs constantly, which in turn makes me squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. 

"Nikki." I grit out. 

"I'm trying to get comfortable, Viv!" He says innocently and I groan out in frustration. "Alright, sorry." He mumbles getting still again. 

Right before I'm dozing off, he says:

"Why do you always get to be the little spoon?" 

I huff out a breath and sit up, shoving him so hard he rolls over onto his other side. 

"Hey, hey, don't be so rough or I'm gonna get turned on again and you'll be in a coma by the time I'm done with you." He tells me.

"At least I'd be asleep!" I reply before laying back down, wrapping my arm around his bare waist, my forehead to his back.

We lay still for a moment, the noise of nothing but people talking in the street, filling the room as the street lights cast a relaxing glow through the window. 

"Vivian." He says quietly.

"What?" 

"I haven't hooked up with any other chicks in a while...ya know." He informs me.

"I'm having to keep up with your unspent libido. Trust me, I know you haven't." I hum, welcoming the incoming sleep. 

"It's not that it's unspent, it's just that I'm always in the mood when you're around." He tells me.

"You are so full of it, Nikki." 

"You play all innocent and then BAM! You're in a split on m--"

"--I'm not having this conversation." I pinch at his back to get him to hush. 

"Okay, then we can talk about the period sex because that was--"

"--Completely your idea because 'it's just blood, it's no big deal'." I quote him. 

"You seemed way too into it, though. Makes me wonder, really." He smartly replies. 

"Because it felt good, now go to sleep." I mumble.

"Is that not weird, though?" 

"Nikki, you wanted to do it--"

"--No, I mean, we're polar opposites but then when it comes to sex we like the same stuff." 

"Need I remind you I was a virgin who never even got friendly with herself before so I had no idea what I liked until I met you, so technically we aren't into the same stuff, I just go along with whatever you're into because you're the only thing I know."

"Okay well what don't you like that we've done and we won't do it again." He suggests. 

I think for a moment, deciding I really like the odd stuff he gets off on. 

"Nothing, yet." I tell him. 

"You just said--"

"--Go to sleep, I have to get up early for church tomorrow." I tell him.

"You're really gonna pray with the same tongue you were just drinking my cum down with earlier?"

"Christianity is a spectrum. Goodnight." I let out with a yawn. 

He turns back over to face me and I blink my eyes open a little when his knuckles brush against my cheek, a little smirk on his lips. 

"Go to sleep." I whine, nudging at him before he's pressing his lips to mine for a second. 

He pulls away and I bite my lip between my teeth before leaning in and kissing him again.

He chuckles when I trace his bottom lip with my tongue, my leg hooking over his hip as I move to straddle him, feeling his cum start to leak out of me, but I don't care, and he doesn't seem to either. 

"What happened to getting up early for church?" He teases, amused when my nails bite into the skin of his shoulders, his arms wrapping around my waist when he sits up, pulling my naked chest against his.

"I can drink a lot of coffee before I go." I suggest, kissing him again. 

"Whatever you say." He replies when he pulls away, not arguing, before kissing my cheek, then my jaw, then my neck.

"Yeah, it is whatever I say, and whatever I want." I add.

"And what exactly do you want?" He asks me suggestively, his hands resting at my hips, his lips brushing against mine. 

"Just you." I assure him in a whisper. 

"Oh, bullshit." He scoffs a little. "I'm sure the thought of me making it big and racking in money makes me all the more worth the trouble, right?" 

"You're an idiot if you think I'm with you for the possible-maybe money and fame." I pinch at his shoulder, scoldingly, and he winces. "I'm with you because I like you, jackass. I like being with you...I could give a damn about money--obviously." I motion around the shitty apartment bedroom and he blinks at me, slowly, smiling contently before bringing my lips down to his once more. 

"I like being with you…"

"Go fuck yourself, Nikki, you're fucked up!" I scream at him, throwing Slash's Jack bottle at him as everyone in the room--Tommy, Slash, Steven, and Sparkie--all duck as it collides with Nikki, spraying him with whiskey, but not hurting him as bad as I hoped...then he throws it back, shouting:

"You fucking psycho cunt!" 

The bottle misses me by an inch and breaks on the wall behind me, glass cutting at the back of my leg. 

Nikki--well, Sikki--had "accidentally" spilt his drink on me when entering the room, and didn't appreciate it when I told him he was being messy.

"You wanna jump down my goddamn throat for being 'messy' and then you start raising fucking hell when someone looks at you the wrong fucking way!" He accuses me.

"Guys, c'mon." Tommy tries to get us to calm down.

"You want some more of what I gave you earlier?!" I snap at Tommy, referring to his bloodied nosy I gave him a few days ago. 

"Vivian, you're being fucking ridiculous, all Nikki did was--"

"--Lie to me, cheat on me, choose drugs over me, make a mockery of my beliefs, humiliate me, shoot me, the list goes on, Tommy, if I haven't given you enough reasons as to why how I'm fucking acting right now is fucking justified!" 

"I'm about to fucking kick your ass, too!" Nikki threatens.

"Like you did to Vanity?! Might as well, seems like the only thing going for you in our relationship is the fact you haven't outright punched me!" I point my finger in his face and he takes a step to me, and Tommy tries to get between us to separate us. 

"I can fucking hit you, if you really want me to, Vivian, God knows I've tried my fucking hardest not to beat the ever loving life out of you, at least once, the past six fucking years living with your fucking witchy, vindictive, manipulative, victim narrative of an attitude!" 

"Then go ahead and see what the fuck happens!" I bark back. 

He pushes Tommy out of the way and raises his fist, and I'm ready for him to knock the piss out of me before Steven's suddenly grabbing at his wrist, getting me behind him. 

"Hey, hey, stop it!" Steven snaps, shoving Nikki back a few feet. "Both of you are being fucking stupid!" 

"Get the fuck outta my way so I can finally set this bitch fucking straight!" Nikki struggles against him.

"So you can go down as a fucking 'woman beater' if it gets out?!" He makes his point. "I know you're pissed, I know you're tired, but you're fucked up right now and you'd feel like shit if you woke up tomorrow and realized you'd hit her, Nikki, and you know it." 

Nikki looks at me, shooting daggers my way, before letting out a huff of breath, backing off of Steven. 

"Fine. Just get the rest of your band in here to collect you guys' bitch and get the fuck out." He sneers, more so at me…

My cheek stings when Nikki hits me as a result of me snatching Slash's lit cigarette from his mouth, lunging past Stevie and pressing the lit end to Nikki's jaw. 

Then, of course, I have to get the last hit in, grabbing a handful of Nikki's hair, my balled fist hurtling into his eye. 

The breath leaves my body when Tommy slams me down onto the floor to keep me from getting the shit beat out of me when Nikki comes for me, Steven and Tommy blocking him, screaming for Fred.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Fred's hollering when he comes in.

"Send her the fuck home! I want a fucking divorce and I'm fucking pressing charges!" Nikki seethes still fighting against Tommy and Steven. 

"Aww, how sad for you, Nikki, I feel so bad!" I sarcastically hiss back when I stand up, feeling Fred's arm wrapping around my waist to pull me out of the room. 

"Go fucking kill yourself you fucking bitch!" Nikki yells at me. 

"You'll be fine, Nikki...once you use this as an excuse to shoot up again, you'll forget all about it!" I argue. 

"Duff!" Fred yells down the hall as he tugs me out of the room. 

Duff's drinking from a solo cup on the other end of the hall, talking to Izzy, concern on his face when he looks over. 

I don't quit struggling against Fred until Duff gets to us.

"What the hell is going on?" He asks me, concern all over his face. "What happened?" He asks next as Fred hands me off to him. 

"Nothing, I'm fine." I tell him and he furrows his brows, his fingers going over the welt left on my cheek from Nikki slapping me.

"Who did that?" He asks me next and I shake my head. 

"Nobody, alright, let's just get the hell outta here." I nudge at him and he looks at Fred. 

"Who the fuck hit her?" He asks him. 

"Duff, c'mon, it's fine. Let's go." I urge, but he's not moving. "Duff--"

"--Who hit you, Vivian?" 

"I'll explain it later, alright?" I tug at his arm. 

"I'm not leaving until someone tells me what the fuck happened and who the fuck hit you." He states and I look at him, my eyes starting to water. 

The last thing I need is for him and Nikki to get into a fight.

"Baby, please?" I mouth, giving my best helpless puppy look, hoping to persuade him to drop it for now and just leave with me. 

He relents, letting out a sigh. 

"We get back to the hotel, you're telling me." He tells me and I nod in agreeance. 

I wasn't mad at Nikki for hitting me, I would've hit me, too. It was like I was losing control over every aspect of my life, but what little control I had over people around me to make them lose their shit for a moment--even if I got hit in the process--gave me a sick sense of security.

Duff, however, did care if my mouth got me hurt…

"You start shit, Viv." Duff scolds me as he paces, while I sit on the bed, brushing my wet hair out in nothing but his tshirt. We haven't really talked since before rehearsal yesterday, he stayed out all night with Steven and Slash. "I don't understand how you go from being the sweetest girl ever to being so mean to people."

"Because they deserve it." I say to him. 

"They aren't worth the energy it takes trying to stir the pot, Viv. They're not." He adds, frustrated. 

"Duff," I start, softly. 

"I'm not--I can't--I-I'm not happy with you, Viv, alright? I just need a few minutes to chill out because I don't want to argue with you, at all." 

"Baby," I say next, "please c'mere." I stand on my knees on the foot of the bed and he looks at me and let's out a heavy breath before trudging to me, my hands running up his chest. "I'm sorry, okay? What I did was stupid and childish and I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry." 

"First it was the band rehearsal, now it's this...Viv, you can't keep…" he trails off, rubbing his eyes and I wrap my arms around him. 

"I know, and I'm sorry." I apologize again and he exhales. "What can I do to make it all better?" I ask, next, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Not scream people's heads off anytime they make you upset." He replies. 

"Okay, what else?" I ask again, pressing a kiss to his neck. 

"Viv, I'm really not in the mood…" he tells me and look at him, trying not to pout. 

He must be really pissed to blow off sex. 

"Duff, I said I was sorry." I tell him.

"And I said I'm not really in the mood." 

I give up, moving off the bed to brush my teeth and when I get back to the bed, he's laying down. 

"Who hit you earlier?" He asks, and I thought he would forget to ask, but he didn't. 

"Doc meant to hit Nikki, but he got me instead." I lie, turning my back to him, accepting the fact he's upset with me and probably will be until tomorrow. 

"Oh." He says lowly, and I can feel him looking at me for a moment before he turns the lamp off, turning his back to me, too. 

Sparkie's departing words come back to my mind:

"You have until the end of this leg of the tour to give me a turn, or I'm telling Nikki about you and Duff."

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Seven

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Six

Read chapter here on wattpad

Word Count: 3.2K

Warning(s): Explicit language, Drug abuse, mentions of abuse

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"...I don't think that's necessary." I argue, stepping down the hallway with Ross and Tansy at my heels.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv, it's one shoot." Tansy tells me. "I think it would be nice."

"Of course you would, Tansy. You like stuff like that." I reply. "I have no business being in a magazine like that."

"It's Metal Edge." Ross interjects with this British accent in my ears. "All you need to do is be pretty and stand against a wall with Nikki for a couple of pictures." He explains and I glare back at him.

"Isn't it a rock magazine that covers musicians?" I ask.

"Yeah." He tells me.

"Hmm. I'm not a musician. I have no business being in it." I make my point.

"Your Nikki's wife. You've got a pretty face and banging body and the fans will appreciate that." He argues.

"Ah, so now I'm the little extra on the side so when the fans get done reading about their favorite band, they can rub one out imagining the bassist's pretty wife with a banging body, naked."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, you did." I state as we walk towards Nikki, Vince, Tommy, and Mick.

"Can we hurry up and take this, man?" Nikki asks him.

"Tell your wife to take a picture for the damn magazine." Ross states to him.

"Wife, take a picture for the damn magazine." Nikki repeats with very little enthusiasm.

"No." I cross my arms, looking up at him.

"Vivian, they told me to get a couple of photographs with you and Nikki together." Ross continues to plead. "It's one picture. You're not selling your soul."

I look at Tansy as she's giving me a small, reassuring, smile.

"Fine." I give up, rolling my eyes.

Ross let's out a breath of relief being that we've been going back and forth for 45 minutes now.

"I'll go get ready while you guys do whatever." I tell him.

"Thank you!" He calls after me, as Tansy has my hand in hers, pulling me to the dressing room.

Ross Haflin was the band's photographer that documented every tour.

Everything from random, sweet, camaraderie filled candids of the band, to pictures from their shows that you can practically hear the music through, to even some full frontal nudity shots of someone in the band who will not be named. (Hint: It's definitely not Mick.)

I finish my makeup as Tansy finishes curling my hair, examining her work in the mirror.

Once I get changed into the tight black minidress and red heels Tansy tosses my way, we're meeting Ross and Nikki in the hall.

Nikki's face is lighting up like a lightbulb when he sees me, I don't know if it's because of coke in his system or if he's just glad to see me.

"You look great." He grins at me, his eyes looking me up and down before placing random kisses all over my face, causing me to smile like an idiot.

"10 minutes, guys." Doc says just as we're kissing, pulling the both of us back from each other to stand against the wall.

"Try to look like you love each other." Ross says sarcastically after Nikki pulls me closer beside him. "Alright, one, two..." Ross counts off. Just as he says "three" Nikki's fingers are tickling at my side, cause me to laugh and jerk a little, ruining the picture.

"Nikki." I complain, nudging at him a little.

After several more attempts to take a serious photo, one of them involving him pulling the bottom of my dress up, we finally get the winning picture: him with my crucifix between his bared teeth, looking directly at the camera, while my mouth is pulled into a smile as I laugh at his stupidity, my arms loosely around his waist.

After the show, Doc is pulling the guys back into the dressing room before they can entertain the idea of changing really quick and hitting the town.

"Something good has happened." Doc tells them, smiling, leaving us glancing at each other in confusion.

"What is it?" Tansy and I both ask at the same time, my heart racing despite him saying it's good news.

"As of today, Shout At The Devil and Theater of Pain have both been certified double-platinum." Doc informs us. 

I look at Nikki to gauge his reaction as Tansy let's out an excited shrill, engulfing Tommy and Vince both in a hug. She goes to do the same to Mick, but he looks at her blankly, only making her squeeze at his hand with a proud smile. 

"Nikki?" I ask cautiously, seeing him wearing a neutral expression, my arm looping around his.

"Who the fuck are these people?" He questions suddenly, causing us to fall silent. "Who the fuck listens to us that much?" He adds and I rub my lips together. 

"People who really love you." Tansy states like it's known knowledge. 

I don't think Nikki knew he was capable of being loved as unconditionally as their fans loved them. 

Later that night, laying in the silent hotel room, hearing Vince have his nightly menage a trois as Tansy sleepily tosses beside me in our bed. 

Me and her have been left by Nikki and Sparkie, Tommy tagging along, to go out.

Tansy's been attempting sobriety...kind of?

"Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh!" Short, high-pitched squeaks leaves one of the girls Vince is with and I cringe in disgust.

"Ew." I mumble, trying to cover my ears.

"It's so fucking big." The other girl comments in a wanton moan.

"It's not that big." Tansy comments tiredly, causing me to choke on my spit. "It's good, but he never had me—"

"Oh, fuck, I'm gonna cum!" The first girl nearly screams out, causing Vince to groan.

The next thing we hear through the thin walls is the sound of gushing liquid hitting the wall we're against as the girl gives out a cry.

"Okay, he's either upped his game or they're getting off on the fact they're simply fucking Vince Neil because I definitely did not do that when we dated." Tansy's interested now, sitting up and pressing her ear against the wall.

"Why on Earth would you want to hear that?!" I scold in a whisper. "You pervert." I add.

"My turn." The second girl pipes sultrily. "Did I mention I can lock my ankles behind my neck?" 

"Awe, Viv, you can do that." Tansy whispers, nudging my arm with her hand as if that makes me and the random woman kindred spirits.

"How do you know that?" I ask her with furrowed brows.

"Tape 2, four minute and forty-three second mark." She says casually, focusing on hearing the action next door.

"You've seen our sex tape?!" I keep my voice to a loud whisper.

"I've seen all of them." She replies. "You look hot in them, don't worry."

"I—"

"I'd like to see that." Vince tells the woman arrogantly, interrupting what I was about to say.

"Gross." I groan out, covering my head with my pillow to drown out the noises.

After a couple more minutes of trying not to vomit from hearing his sex, I'm snatching the covers off myself and stepping to the door.

"Where are you going?" Tansy asks me and I ignore her, going out in the hall and banging on Vince's door with the flat of my palm.

The door opens, and I'm face to face chest with Tommy...a naked Tommy.

I avoid looking down.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask him, seeing a naked woman wrap her arms around his waist, peeking at me from behind him. "You're suppose to be out with Nikki and Sparkie."

"We got back early." Tommy explains to me, pupils blown out.

"Where's Sparkie and Nikki?"

He steps to the side and motions to Sparkie, who's gang-banging another woman with Vince.

I feel sick to my stomach.

"Where's Nikki?"

Tommy's hand curls into a fist as his knuckles knock at the bathroom door beside him.

"Sixx?!" He asks, and I already know what Nikki being locked in the bathroom, avoiding a good time, means: he's high as shit.

The bathroom door, revealing Nikki as he slumps against the door frame, his eyes struggling to stay open as he looks at me.

"Uhh...you good, man?" Tommy asks him, cautiously.

"Yeah, dude." Nikki slurs, taking a step forward to me.

"I got him." I tell Tommy, helping Nikki out the door. "Enjoy the rest of your night." I tell Tommy, ignoring the moans and screams of the girl Sparkie and Vince are working on.

I leave before Tommy can reply, Nikki leaning against me as I knock on our room door.

After several attempts, and Tansy still hasn't come yet, I pull the other key out of Nikki's pants pocket and unlock the door.

A bitter, horrid smell invades my nose, and I see Tansy crouching in front of a hotplate, looking at me wide-eyed, pipe in hand as she eagerly awaits the base to cook up.

That moment I found out Tansy was dabbling in crack.

She did a complete nose dive into it a couple months later, and once Vanity taught Nikki how to properly cook it up, smoke it, and get the biggest high of it, he, Vanity and Tansy would just lay around our house and smoke crack together.

I didn't mention it to Tansy the next day because I had other things on my mind...such as Sparkie having a death wish.

You can hear a pin drop in here. Even the flight attendants are holding their breath.

It seems Tommy, Nikki, and Mick have sobered up on the spot the second Sparkie says, "well, I didn't have any cash on me, and your purse was on the bus so I just made a trade. I didn't think you would need them anymore. You seem pretty happy to me, lately" once I'm digging around in my purse, asking the guys if they've seen my Nardil anywhere because it's time for me to take it.

I'm still trying to figure out if I heard him right.

Fred's getting antsy, I see him from the corner of my eye as he slowly stands from his spot, waiting for me to attack with my teeth going for the bastard's neck.

Vince just has this little smirk on his face because he knows Sparkie is about to meet his maker.

"W-what?" Tansy squeaks at her boyfriend, confused as to why her sweet, innocent, precious little Sparkler would do such a thing to her best friend.

"Where are my pills?" I ask Sparkie just to clarify.

He looks at me with raised brows.

"I told you, Vivian, I didn't have any money. I needed some blow. I remembered you keep them in your purse, which was on the bus, which was unlocked. I got your pills out and made a trade." He repeats to me like I was too stupid to understand him the first time.

"You heard him, right, Doc?" I ask.

"I--yeah?" Doc replies, uneasy at my calmness.

"Good. Because a jury will need to hear a witness and know I had justification for finally killing this motherfucker!" I lunge over the seat in front of me to grab fistfuls of Sparkie's greasy hair, Tansy screaming as she stumbles out of her seat beside him.

"Vivian!" Doc's yelling as he reaches his hand out, trying to pry me off of Sparkie.

I turn and kick him in the chest with my heel, still leaned over the seats, my arm around Sparkie's neck, hopefully crushing his throat as he fights against me, sputtering and gasping for air as Tansy's crying and pleading with me, but I don't hear a word she says.

Tommy and Nikki come to Doc's aid, the both of them grabbing at me, only causing me to kick at them and swing my free hand.

"You fucking kick me, I'm laying your ass out, Viv!" Nikki threatens me sharply.

I look at him, directly in the eye, and kick him as hard as I can in the arm.

His eyes go wild, an ugly sneer pulls at his lips to expose grinding teeth, and he grabs me by my hair, causing me to whimper out as tears prick my eyes from the pain, and forces me off the seats to the floor.

Because I've always been glutton for punishment when I'm angry, him nearly scalping me wasn't enough.

My foot collides with Nikki's crotch so hard he doubles over and falls to the floor, completely disregarding me, and giving me time to reach up beside me and grab the Jack Daniels bottle sitting in the seat Tommy just got up from.

Sparkie's trying to recover, taking long, heavy breaths, as the whiskey flies from the Jack bottle as it hits him square in the head.

Fred snatches me off the floor, manhandling me like he would do one of the guys, and throws me into the small bathroom, locking me inside for the remainder of the flight, only yanking me out and making me sit next to him and buckle up to land.

Sparkie was taken to the nearest hospital to make sure he wasn't suffering from a concussion, and I was getting the chewing out of a lifetime.

"You just can't start trying to kill people left and right, Vivian." Fred snaps as we step to the car that's taking us to the hotel. "You're gonna fuck around and get sued and no offense, Nikki, but you can't afford that." He adds and Nikki scoffs.

"None fucking taken." He mumbles back.

"He traded my antidepressant for blow!" I argue.

"I think she did a great thing." Vince tells them. "The little bitch deserved it."

"Thank you, Vince." I say to him and Nikki scoffs out bitterly, causing me to turn to look at him.

"What?" I ask him, not finding anything wrong with what I said.

"You would agree with him." He replies as we get into the limo.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I snap back at him.

He just shakes his head a little and looks straight ahead as Vince and Fred get into the seats across from us.

I almost ask where Tommy and Mick are, then I remember Tommy went with Tansy, Sparkie and Doc, to the hospital and planned to drop Mick off at the hotel on the way there.

"No need to be threatened just because  she slept in the bed with me." Vince tells him, reasonably. "You know that, right?"

Nikki's laughing it off as if he could never be threatened by Vince Neil...although it's so obvious he is.

"Well, Nikki, if it bothers you that much, maybe don't stay out all night." I suggest calmly. "I'm always gonna go find one of my friends and stay with them for the night because I don't like sleeping by myself. That doesn't mean I'm having sex with them or want to. I just get lonely."

"Well, when I get lonely, I don't crawl into bed with other people." He says it harshly and I roll my jaw.

"No, of course you don't. You just warm up to a needle and strip your veins." I argue in the same tone, seeing a brief glance of Satan in his hazel eyes before his hand, harshly, hits my thigh hard enough to leave a stinging, firey hot, dark red print that's welting up in the shape of his hand.

I didn't say a damn thing else to him until we got back to L.A. a couple days later for a a week-long break. All I could think about while avoiding my own husband, were Ross' words, "pretend you love each other" echoing in my brain.

People who really love each other don't kick, hit or talk to each other the way Nikki and I did.

Ross would always say, "alright, you love each other" or "look like you want to be together" before taking our picture.

At first it was light-hearted, but over the course of two years, it began being said with less light, and more of a command, which after after finding out what I did from his drug buddy/mistress, any commands about a picture made by Ross would be followed by me saying, "I don't wanna touch that doped up bastard-fuck" and Nikki saying, "I'm not getting anywhere near that rabid fucking bitch."

We would, of course, suck it up and take the pictures for the sake of the fans and our public image, but the second he said he was done, we were darting away from each other like we would die if we touched each other more than five minutes.

We could barely stand to be in the same room after Vanity dropped the bombshell which really wouldn't have blindsided me had I been paying more attention to all the screaming red flags the both of them were practically throwing at me. And if you've been in that situation, the signs are oh so clear in hindsight once you're taking a break between crying, to put the pieces you hadn't given a second thought before, together.

A huge one, possibly the most painful, was the giant roman numeral "V" Nikki had gotten tattooed on his arm months prior to the revealed betrayal. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time when I first saw it after he got back from getting it, other than "what significance does the number "five" have to him?" 

It was a roman numeral, but was also a "V."

For "Vanity." 

Once I came to that realization in the bathroom of the hotel we were staying at, that I had barricaded myself in, it hurt even worse than just seeing the woman I had practically given a house key to, joke about becoming "Vanity 6" once again after taking my husband's last name, while waving my wedding ring around. 

He didn't even have anything related to me tattooed on him and I was his wife. But he had no issue slapping a big-ass "V" on his arm and playing it off like a number. If "five" had a significant meaning to him at the time, it was because it was the number of times he bought heroin in a day.

All sanity left in me was tossed aside and it was fucking war from then on and I mean war.

After that, it seemed like every time Nikki and I were in a room together, everyone tensed up and prepared to either hit the floor to avoid being caught in the collateral in case Nikki or I started throwing shit at each other, or eyed their exits to escape being a witness to some fucked up things being said between me and him. 

Shortly after the Vanity incident, I figured since we were tattooing the initial of the people we told each other not to worry about on ourselves, Nikki wouldn't have minded seeing a perfectly sharp"D" on my upper hip—and Duff and I weren't even messing around yet at that time.

It was small, only about the size of a quarter, but it packed one hell of a punch when Nikki first laid eyes on it and I sarcastically, innocently, spat out, "but...it's just the roman numeral for 500."