#awkward taylor swift dancing

[awkwardtaylorswiftdancing]

H A P P Y H O L I D A Y S

However you may be celebrating, wishing you all a happy and healthy holiday season !!

❤️ your humble awkward dancing archivist,

Liz

[theresacthomas]

(via GIPHY) Love this gif and taylor swift dancing on top of the image of a Monet water lily painting. One of my favorite days was a visit to the Denver Botanical Gardens when the water lilies were at peak bloom. I was in TOTAL AWE and this is how I felt. 

[boxwinebaddie]

would your stans be the type to solve disagreements with a just dance battle since theyre pacifists

yes...i support this.

***my stans both claim they wont stop putting up peace signs in pictures until theres world peace lmaooo

i am not sure, however...that they would win many.

cue me combining the complicated answer to your simple question with some ncu dance headcannons, but i do hope they thrill you!

but alright, so i said that because...

...i am not convinced whatsoever that pep!stan has rhythm.

which musically, of course, he is very gifted. he can sing and play guitar really well, could probably pick up other instruments if he tried.

one of my favorite headstannons actually ( and i think its present across both stans ) is that he has perfect pitch...and when kyle and him are arguing and kyle is lecturing him stan gets suuuuper annoying and starts being like "a, b, e flat, wow f sharp" KYLE GETS SOOOOO MAD ITS SO DKHSDLHDS hes so annoying help

however, being musically gifted does not mean...you can dance.

and in the baggy ass, gigantic ass skater boy jeans, the gigantic slouchy metal hoodies, the big beanie, his greasy ass blonde bangs all up in his ( cute little ) face and his vans untied...its a no from me.

like dead sober he's just hella stiff, has no interest in dancing, every single prom or dance he's been to with wendy was actually hell omg

BUUUUUUUT....drunk stan ;)

he will get SOOO WEIRD!!! hes down like oh my god, like dead sober stan is like ready to die if there is dancing, drunk stan is pulling you on the dance floor, sloppy as hell, spinnin you around, kissin ur hand!

like is it good dancing? no absolutely not? is it lit? absolutely.

okay like specifically, him and kenny? TOGETHER? it goes so hard like stan learned dance moves for one reason and one reason only and was to turn up to parties and absolutely fuck! it! up!

WAIT OK THE FOOTBALL ONE WHEN STAN SHOWS UP TO THE FUNCTION LATE AS HELL STILL IN HIS FOOTBALL JERSEY??? I JUST KNOW KYLE IS SWEATING WHEN HE SMIRKS AT HIM

also i just remembered that i canonically after winning shot roulette, had extremely drunk stan get up on the kitchen counter and drop it low to im sexy and i know it and collect dollar bills like a stripper and..

u know what!!!! it was definitely a low budget strip tease at best, very messy, the man has litrally no ass, but he is FINE so u know what, he looked good, he put on a s-h-o-w and no one was complaining!!!! especially not kyle when stans shirt flew off and hit him in the face.

whEW!

....a lot of dreams abt that one, huh kyle?

( i do think that all night kyle is trying to be Responsible and is like

[ throwback pep chapter 2 to kyles stmwtp contact photo ]

i should take stan home he should not be drunk and doing hand(stan)ds breaking the keg stand record....but then stans shirt falls down, he gets football boy ab-ed and winked at so hes like...nevermind thats so crazy...he can have five more minutes this is my favorite show <3 salhds )

hooooowever! moving right along:

conversely, i do think ravenstan...can definitely Dance.

but. BUT!!!!!!!

i will say...he had to be TAUGHT!!!!!! PAINSTAKINGLY!!!!! HOW TO DANCE!!!!!! it was a Miserable process. it was so painful, oh my god. hes so awkward, god bless him. he was SOOO BAD. he was like guys i cannot do this???? i give up!!!!!! and kenny and the cd boys were like u can do this rae!!! this is ur Dream and he was like...sigh...SIGH.

and did...eventually get...honestly? kind of good? hello? excuse me???

RAVENSTAN???? HELLLLOOOOOO

okay also i do think he had a small boost like i do think that rm!sharon definitely had rhythm af and used to spin shelley and stan around the kitchen making dinner with the mexican radio station blaring. <333

( so hes got a lil bit of That going on...lets go half mexican ravenstan )

but also...if u want to be Absolutely Miserable...pre!raven!stan who was 11 was learning how to formally dance around that time because of the sadie hawkins dance, but more specifically...because of shelley's birthday...specifically...

her quinceanara.

which she never got to have...

...because she died three days before her birthday. :)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

fun!

stan still knows those moves by the way! he is haunted! Hi, PTSD!

aka Phantom There's Shelley Disorder!

but yes, raven learned how to dance because he had to learn how to dance, but that does not mean he likes doing it or that he is sober.

he also gets to coast mostly on sex appeal and being hot and looking into ur eyes, so like if he fucks up its kinda just like damn thats crazy i didnt see anything but ur very pretty eyes raven whatever u want, hansome!!!!! its a lot of powersliding and hip stuff...whew! lis...ten.

Aaaaaaaanyways!

tldr; just dance in front of every1? i think he would eat tbh its his job

BUT PRIVATELY? uhhhh...i think he would be nervous as fuck and on top of that i think jersey kyle would look at him once and he would fall in his ass and fall into something and break his arm its that unserious

so basically neither of my stans can dance, but both of them can dance way better drunk bc they are relaxed and raven was just forced at gunpoint to learn how to Move so he can...

and 2 well tbh. ;)

sahdkshdls

ALRIGHT I ADDED MY KYLE HEADCANNONS JUST FOR FUNSIES!

ok i went back and forth on this for a while.

i was like do i give kyle no rhytmn? can he dance?

my answer is that when both my kyles are dead sober theyre like so far infused into the wall that they are literally the structural integrity of the house party, like so far from the dance floor, judging literally everyone, sneering at everyone, disapproving glares...

and naturally this makes u thirsty because its hard work, u know, being a full time fucking HATER

gotta drink the haterade which, ofc, is a hard cider/seltzer for pep!kyle and is probably cheap grocery store wine for jersey

BUT WHEN HE HAS LIKE TWO OR THREE OF THOSE

ohhhhhh my god

drunk!kyle ;)))))))))))))))

DRUNK KYLE IS SO FUN!!!! HES FOR THE STREETS!!!!!!!

they gave him way too much ass and for no goddamn reason like hello???? HELLO???? like i think he does his little white mom dance moves his little taylor swift awkward bird boy sways HES VIBING!!! tbh i think hes kind of good??? like??? okay kyle???? lets go bitch!!!

ALSO IF MEGAN THEE MOTHERFUCKING STALLION COMES ON HE IS RAPPING AND THROWING SERIOUS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

like do not think i forgot that marjorine taught kyle how to twerk and that jerseys entire running playlist is just like Fuck Being Good Im A Bad Bitch!!!! like just iconic loud female rap for like 30 minutes skhdksskdhks IT GETS DIRTY FREAKY NAAAASTY IN THERE!!!

like stan and kyle in any ncuniverse dancing at the function is INSAAAAAAAAANE like it is an event!!! stan is like okayokayokaaay!

go white boy gooooooooo!!!!

hes really just in shock and awe, every time kyle gets loose enough to hit the dance floor its the best night of his lifeeeee i mean that omg

Heart Eyes Emoji! he is SIMPING!

( honestly i think if u specifically put raven and jersey on the dance floor turnt the fuck up it would go viral like sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh ohmygod...is it hot in here??? ravesey stan twitter Blowing Up! )

tbh my fav style at parties hc specifically like pepstyle when they start dating is that whereas stan would usually be like the last person to leave a party, when him and kyle start dating, they truly just get schwifty, makeout against the fridge and irish goodbye everyone like out of the blue, kyle is like i want to go home ;) and stan is like yEAH BYE EVERYONE SEE YOU LMAOOO KSHDLSD literally sprints out the door holding kyles hand!!! unserious!!! boys!!! down horrendous!

also to be fair jersey kyle is just such a tangle of long limbs but he took really strict and rigorous ballet courses so professionally and in refined settings he dances very beautifully...but at parties...when hes Blasted...its a mess, its so unhinged but hes REEEEALLY CUUUTE

one day i will put drunk!jersey and raven in a room and when that day comes u will all simply not be ready but im warning u anyways. <3

i did not answer your question very well, but i hope this was fun.

-uncle nina, who is...not even sure what i was trying to say?

p.s. wait i know he doesnt count technically but toolshed stan can do crazy acrobatics and shit so he can dance for Surely and would actually probably DESTROY! just dance but probably pretends to be really bad for his secret identity...human kite!kyle i want to say is an awkward alien king like learning english and strange earth customs was hard enough dancing is so weird he is not good at it...Inchresting

me in denial abt the grimy fucked up weirdly political dystopian in terms of mutants and public judgements and propaganda tfbw stan-kyle-kite-shed love square au rip oh my god dont let me do it guys

[grilledkatniss]

Just downed on me I have not been live tumblring(?) these 23 Grammys so much. My lil input? Even tho we didn't have Taylor Swift nor Harry Styles, last year's were better. By a long shot. LONG.

Remember Lizzo's performance of Jerome? Billie Eilish's? That In Memoriam? Omg Lady Gaga's. There was old school, there was soul, there was SO.MUCH.ROCK. and am I wrong or NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys were there as well?(I think that was a different show) The only part that fucking sucked ass was Justin Bieber's Peach on piano. Stupid as shit.

But I'm here for this 50 year of Hip Hop bit. Damn it's fun. These VIBESSSZS goddang I'm time traveling.

Other than that the performances were mid as hell. Beyonce was there but not to perform?

And then the snub of the year. Ridiculous. This Grammy's are a joke. How is All Too Well (the 10min version) not THE song of the year? Never heard that "Just Like That" in all of last year. Bonnie seems like a lovely lady, no shade to her but fr the room went mute, they were all speechless, even her.

Anyway, I'd say a forgettable evening but we saw Taylor Swift dance all night and give a standing ovation to every single person who took the stage, Beyonce break a record and make history, the hip hop segment, and Dwayne Johnson give Adele an award and call her best friend within an hour of having met her.

[aziraphalesbowtie]

[jamminvroomvroom]

everything.

ln x fem!reader

in which you’re his best friend until you’re something more

hi! here you go lmao. probs the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written and i am obsessed with the concept! thank you for being here and baring with me - i loved writing this one and i’d love to hear what you think! huge shoutout to my girlies @mcmuppet and @lavenderlando ily both!

songs that set the mood: pink and white by frank ocean, daylight by harry styles, angel by finneas, enchanted by taylor swift, hate to be lame by lizzy mcalpine

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, language, friends to lovers brain rot, slight corruption kink, readers first time, qatar angst

6.4k words

“do you wanna talk about it?” you whispered softly, your hand resting on lando’s sagged shoulder.

your eyes were fixed on the third place plaque on his table in front of you, his very much fixed on the floor.

“no.” his reply was short and sweet, his tone conveying exactly how deflated he was.

you’d only flown in to qatar this morning, the october sun hitting you hard as you walked into the paddock, drastically different to the london climate you’d grown accustomed to. lando had all but begged you to come, your evening before spent on the phone, and you knew that he needed a friend, otherwise he never would have asked you to fly halfway around the world.

friends. that’s what you were.

you’d hugged him tight and told him that the weekend had to get better, and then his teammate put it on pole and got his first win. so, yeah, maybe it wasn’t going to get better and not even the podium could cheer him up.

his radio messages had hurt your heart, your chest aching as he self deprecated in the cockpit. he owned his mistakes, sure, but he’d taken it a step too far and you knew you had a job to do. you’d do anything, quite literally anything, to cheer him up.

you’d always found a way to be there for eachother, your friendship spanning five long years after you’d knocked a coffee over a guy you quickly recognised as the new mclaren driver. both nineteen and awkward as hell, you’d um-ed and er-ed and danced around one another in the busy pret in central london, chucking tissues at him, attempting to mop up the frothy mess all over his white sweatshirt.

eventually you’d just burst into laughter, lando immediately following suit. your cheeks were hurting from smiling at the curly haired stranger, intrigued by the very way his faced moved when he laughed, and he’d looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky, not like someone that had just destroyed a brand new hoodie.

and just like that, a connection was born.

you’d gotten used to having a friend for only half the year, but he never let you feel the distance. paddock passes often fell through your letter box and you could usually be located in the background of his streams when he was home long enough to do them, the amount of times you’d been wrongfully accused of being his girlfriend a list as long as your arm. even in those moments of awkwardness, friendship prevailed and you both managed to crack up together about the conspiracy that you were more than friends.

and what an intriguing conspiracy it was.

“we should get you back to the hotel, you need to get some rest.” you told him, standing from the sofa and offering him your hand.

lando grabbed it, squeezing, his own special way of telling you he was grateful for your presence, and let you pull him up. as he tried to walk towards the door, you stopped him, hands on his shoulders. you wanted to shake him, tell him how fucking great he was. you didn’t think he’d appreciate that after an intense session in the car.

“hey, look at me. you got this, okay?” you smiled reassuringly, managing to get the smallest crack back from him, his lips upturning ever so slightly. something in his eyes told you that you’d succeeded, a small glimmer of an emotion that you didn’t know how to unpack.

friends.

that’s what you were.

-

you tried to ignore how touchy lando was being. you figured he just needed some comfort, physical touch not out of bounds in your friendship, but a new level had been reached.

on the entire walk through the paddock to his car, his hand sat comfortably on the small of your back, despite the endless amount of cameras pointed at you. his hand skimmed your thigh in the car, accidentally, you told yourself, and you had to avert your eyes when his hand graced your headrest as he reversed out of the parking space. knowing that he needed you in qatar so desperately that he’d flown you out was one thing, the way he was treating you once you got there was something else.

he’d opened your door when you pulled up at the hotel valet, helping you out of the car, his hand tucked in yours for a second longer than necessary. once again, his hand seemed to be glued to your lower back the whole way to the elevator.

the ding of the lift had you both shuffling out onto your floor, trailing towards your rooms in a heavy silence, something more left unsaid in the air.

you reached your door first, coming to a stop and shuffling around in your bag for your keycard.

“um, i need to be at the track early tomorrow. breakfast?” lando asked.

you turned to look at him, nodding your head profusely.

“of course, just drop me a message and i’ll come down and meet you.” you affirmed, your fingers finally grasping the piece of plastic that had, of course, fallen to the very bottom of your tardis of a tote bag.

you expected him to leave, but he lingered, as if there was something else on his mind.

“you okay?” you raised an eyebrow, unlocking your door. lando seemed to snap out of it then, awkwardly running a hand through his curls that had taken a brutal hit from the humidity. you liked the look on him, nonetheless.

“yeah, i- yeah, i think i just need some sleep.”

“okay, well, goodnight. let me know if you need anything.” you disappeared through the door then, the tension getting the better of you. you slumped against the shut door, wondering what he so clearly wanted to say.

-

the clock read 1:32am on your bedside.

a faint tapping had woken you up, and you groggily scanned the room, trying to find the source of the noise. you deduced that it was coming from your door, letting out a groan as you threw the cosy comforter off and trudged towards the disturbance.

you cracked it open, peeking through the gap and coming face to face with your best friend.

“lando?” you croaked, opening the door further.

“i’m sorry, can’t sleep. can i come in? it’s okay if not, i just didn’t know what to do.” he sounded so shy, something you didn’t recognise in the man stood before you, and you quickly swung the door open, ushering him inside.

“come, sit.” you waved for him to follow you across the room to the foot of your bed. he sat down beside you, the mattress dipping.

you patted your lap and he instantly knew what to do, laying down with his head in your lap. it’s something he did quite frequently when you were sprawled on his sofa at home, watching a shitty movie that neither of you were really paying attention to. you’d often be looking at him, praying he didn’t notice, and he’d be playing with your fingers, tracing the palm of your hand.

you couldn’t help yourself, running your hand through his curls. you didn’t mean to, stomach instantly twisting with embarrassment, but it was quickly twisting with something else. his eyes fluttered shut, a low groan falling from the back of his throat. it made your thighs clench, and he must have noticed, the tiniest smirk on his face.

“you okay?” lando asked, his eyes still shut, a look of relaxation finally on his face.

you coughed awkwardly.

“yeah, sorry. are you comfy?” you said teasingly, trying to cut the growing tension in the room.

“i am now, could fall asleep here.”

“you can, you know.” you whispered. his eyes flew open. your heart was hammering in your chest. this was new territory and you were worried you’d fucked up. sleepovers were also a norm, but one of you usually retired to a guest room, not the other side of eachothers beds.

“you want me to stay?” his voice rose in surprise.

“well, i mean, you can if you want, like, there’s space and-“ you rambled.

“do you want me to stay?” he repeated.

“is it gonna help?” you questioned cautiously.

“yes.” the confidence in which he replied did something to you.

“then stay.”

you crawled up the mattress, falling back into the place you’d so comfortably occupied just minutes before. you laid so still, watching with quiet curiosity as he slipped his hoodie off. his shirt came with it ever so slightly, riding up over his back, and you had to pry your eyes away, the ache between your thighs still ever present.

what on earth were you doing, allowing your best friend to crawl into bed with you? emotions were running so high, but it felt like a switch had been flipped ever since you hit the tarmac in qatar. every look, every touch was fuelled by something different to what it had been before and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or not.

lando turned towards you, making his way back over to the bed. he looked apprehensive, as if he was thinking the same thoughts as you, wondering if there was any logic in what was about to happen. he seemed to come to the conclusion that this was, in fact, happening, crawling into bed beside you.

“is this okay?” lando breathed into the darkness of the room, his hand brushing yours. you were both as still as planks, mere centimetres separating you, the only light coming from the lamp beside the bed.

“yeah,” you took a deep breath, preparing for the words that were about to come tumbling out. “i’ve just never done this before.” you spoke quickly, sucking in another breath as you finished.

“you’ve never…”

“i’ve never shared a bed… like this.”

“like what?”

“with a… a guy?” your anxiety riddled words came out more like a question than an answer.

“oh. oh.” it seemed to dawn on lando then. “so, you’ve never… oh. i mean i can go if you’re uncomfortable.”

“lando, no, i just wanted you to know. i’m always comfortable with you.” you said, quietly baring your soul to him.

you weren’t sure why you’d basically told him you were a virgin. it held no relevance, he was just here to sleep, for some friendly comfort. he was not here for any other reason. and yet here you were, spilling the beans, all over the bed you found yourself sharing.

“i didn’t come here to, you know. i just needed you.”

you tried to ignore the pang in your chest and the annoying, minuscule butterfly springing to life in your belly.

“god, yeah i know! i didn’t think that you wanted to, well i mean not with me because why would you want me like that anyway, i get why you’re here, lando.” you rambled into the empty air. you heard yourself, groaning in embarrassment and dragging the cover over your face. lando laughed, pulling it back so he could see you again.

he was leaning over you, perched on his side, resting on his elbow.

“trust me, i’m more than happy with any part of yourself that you wanna give me.”

“don’t tease me, lando.” you scoffed. he was joking, right? right?

“i’m not! i promise, this is the one place i want to be.”

“why? why with me? i mean you could’ve called max. all he does is stream when you’re not home, think he misses you.” you were half joking, half deadly serious.

“come on, it’s you. it’s just… its been so hard this year, being away from you so much more. and then you came all the way here…” lando trailed off, averting eye contact.

you turned on your side to face him, placing your hand over his affectionately.

“you needed me.”

“exactly. i needed you. you.”

he gave you a look, one that you didn’t recognise, but you understood what it meant. it said more than anything had done since this confusingly beautiful interaction began. you got it, then, why you were here.

“lando-“

“i know that i shouldn’t tell you this and i can’t just spring this on you in the middle of the night, but i-“

“lando!”

“what?”

“kiss me.”

and god, he kissed you. the air was sucked out of your lungs, dragged out of you by the way he put his hands on your body, so urgent.

you sunk back into the mattress, his body over yours, a hand cupping your cheek while the other rested on your waist, stroking the skin there, exposed from your ridden up top. your hands were in his curls, and you revelled in the way that you could shamelessly touch them now.

he paused for a second, nose brushing yours, breathless and grinning down at you, a knowing smile that was so beautiful that it rendered you speechless.

“you have no idea how long i’ve waited for this.” lando breathed, scanning your face as if he was trying to take it all in. you, panting beneath him, coy smile, cheeks flushed. you’d never looked so gorgeous to him.

you leaned in to kiss him again, slower this time, relishing in the moment. you were lost in him, thinking back to the very first time you’d locked eyes and how you never thought it would come to this. this, the way he was holding you, was the best surprise.

lando pulled away, peppering your flushed cheeks with kisses, a dazed giggle passing your swollen lips.

he flopped onto his side, grinning at the ceiling mindlessly. you hadn’t seen him smile that big all weekend.

“are you tired?” you whispered, lips brushing his cheek, his light stubble rough against you. you wondered how it would feel elsewhere, scratching over your bare skin.

“no.”

“then why did you stop?” you asked, the words falling off your tongue slowly, sinking all over him like honey. you felt the way he tensed up, the suggestion that laced the seemingly innocent question making you tingle.

“i didn’t come here for that.” he reiterated.

“and i didn’t let you in for that. but here we are.” you weren’t ashamed of what you were asking, the moment was right, the one, and you knew it.

“it’s too soon.” lando was apprehensive. he was always overly protective of you, previously as his friend, but this, god, this was an entirely different ball park and he was proceeding with caution, against every natural instinct in his body screaming at him.

“says who?”

“it’s your first. it needs to be special.”

“everything about this is better than i could have ever imagined.”

“are you sure you want it to be me?” there it was again, those unrecognisable nerves that made everything inside of you flutter.

“lando, there is no one else i could ever want to do this with more than i want to do it with you. i want it to be you.”

“but… now? are you sure? i don’t want you to regret this.”

“the only thing i regret is that this didn’t happen sooner.”

“one last time. i just need to hear it one last time.”

“i want you, lando.”

and with that, the air changed, charged with a different kind of tension. lando pulled you on top of him, hands firm on your body, the action itself gentle. you steadied yourself, hands on his shoulders, his resting on your waist.

“can i take this off?” he tugged at the hem of your shirt. you nodded profusely. “words, sweetheart. i need you to use your words.” lando cupped your jaw as he said it, squeezing ever so slightly, enough to turn you into putty in his hands.

“please. yes.” you said shakily.

he smiled softly, slowly peeling the material off of your body, up over your head and tossed carelessly onto the floor. he kept his eyes on yours, despite the fact you were now left bare, aside from the white cotton panties that separated you both. he pawed at your sides, kneading gently at your soft hips.

“we’re gonna start slow, okay? gonna take my time with you.” he muttered, eyes on yours before they trailed slowly down, across your face, neck, collarbone, further and further until he was taking all of you in. he began to stroke the underside of your breast with his thumb, watching the way your body tensed under his feather-like touch.

“okay.” you choked out, head tipping back as he placed a kiss to the base of your throat.

his kiss trailed further down your body, peppered in the valley of your breasts, and then you stopped breathing, the air caught in your throat because he was looking at you, really, truly looking at you, as his tongue found your nipple. you couldn’t take your eyes off of him, not when he was looking at you like that, not when he was making you feel this good already.

lando pulled away, just for a second, just so that he could shift you from his lap onto his thigh. he was still fully clothed beneath you, totally in control, and you craved him in a way you didn’t know was humanly possible, so much so that you didn’t need the encouragement he was giving you to start rolling your hips, pussy grinding down on his covered thighs, the friction of your underwear driving you insane.

“oh, baby. you want me so badly, don’t you? should’ve asked me sooner. m’gonna make you feel so good.” his hands were on your hips, guiding you backwards and forwards on him.

“it feels so- oh, god.” you whimpered, fingers tangling in his curls, back arching further into him as your thighs clenched around his. he licked over your collarbone oh so slowly, a shiver running down your taut spine.

and then he was kissing you again, tongue slow over yours, his fingertips surely leaving marks where he was controlling your pace. the kiss was filthy, untameable, and you found yourself dragging against him slower, harder.

“i need you.” you panted, forehead falling on his shoulder as you pulled away from his lips, goosebumps pricking your sweat slicked skin. you were so close to an orgasm, desperate to feel him everywhere.

“i want you to come for me like this first, okay? can you do that for me, baby?” he cooed, bouncing his leg ever so slightly. “look at me.” and you did, somehow mustering the strength to pull yourself back up and find his darkened eyes.

you were a mess of curses when you let go, your body convulsing, collapsing into him as you came. you were throbbing on his thigh, one glance down at where you were grinding against him displaying your slick. his arms went around your body, flipping you onto your back so that you were resting against the mattress.

“you did so well, baby.” lando crooned, resting over you on his forearms. you stared up at him in awe, blinking away the haze. “do you want more?”

“i want everything.” you breathed, pulling him against you. you smoothed your hands over his shirt until you reached the hem, dragging it up over his back. he helped you take it off, and then it was lost to the room. you grabbed at his shoulder blades, smooth, muscular planes of bronzed skin so warm under your touch. you felt insatiable, like nothing was enough, totally intoxicated by him and everything he was managing to make you feel.

lando’s hand slid down your body, searching for the band of your underwear. when he reached his destination, he toyed with the lacy edges, letting them snap against the pudge of your belly, teasing you. you bucked your hips, frustrated, and he used the opportunity to cup your pussy, feeling where you’d soaked through the cotton. the groan he let out was carnal, animalistic, almost needy. he could feel all of you, how you ached and dripped, how you needed the everything that you’d requested.

“you’re so fucking good for me, god.” lando almost slurred his words, voice lower than you’d ever heard it. you keened at the sound, pushing your hips further into him.

lando didn’t give you much time to dwell on it, mouth latching onto your underwear where it met the crease of your thigh. he was so close, so tantalising close to where you were aching for him and you were just about levitating off the bed when his teeth grazed your inner thigh. you couldn’t see him looking at you, losing it, inhibitions out the window. your eyes were already squeezed shut when he began mouthing over your cloth-covered pussy, spit further ruining the sodden material.

“take them off.” you cried out, tugging hard at his curls that you hadn’t even realised you were clutching for dear life. and lando was a good listener, because he complied immediately, tearing the lace down your legs like a starved man.

his tongue was on you then, everywhere all at once, running through your folds and over your clit. you didn’t know if you were dead or alive, a different kind of pleasure than anything you’d ever experienced coursing hot through your veins. lando switched between long, slow licks, his tongue flat against you, and rapid kitten licks, burying his face in your cunt.

everything was moving in slow motion, your hands grasping frantically at anything you could reach; his curls, the sheets, his shoulders. you could barely make out what he was saying, his words muffled, lost to the soft flesh between your legs. it seemed to echo, every lick, stroke, word. you snapped out of it, finally, when he pulled away.

“more? you want my fingers, baby? gonna get you nice and ready for me.” you just nodded, voice lost to the air of the room.

one arm locked around your thigh, pinning you still, and the other snaked up your leg until he reached the mess between your thighs. he took a moment to take it in, how wet you were, how fucked out you looked, knowing full well he must have looked the same, unhinged as he gave into your shared desire that he’d tried his best to keep hidden. he’d never felt more stupid in his life for holding back, as he took in the ethereal delight sprawled under his touch.

when lando slid the first finger in, your stomach twisted deliciously. he watched you carefully, searching for discomfort but all he could find was sheer bliss, written all over your face as clear as daylight. he worked the digit in and out, nice and slow, curling against your walls. he could feel how tight you were, clamping around just one finger and he thought his head was gonna explode. he added another finger, watching the way you took him in, twisting his fingers.

“are you gonna let go for me again, sweetheart?” lando punctuated his words by putting his mouth back on you, teeth grazing your clit as he sucked.

you were thrashing, a silent scream building from the fire in your belly. you could just about make out the way he was spurring you on, his mouth running as you spilled over the edge, covering his fingers. you saw white, maybe god, ears ringing, and when you finally mustered the energy to look at him, you could have come for a third time. lando looked feral, lips red and coated in everything you had to offer him. his eyes were glazed over, a hazy grey that sent a jolt through your body, the aftershocks of the orgasm setting in.

“christ.” was all you could sigh out. a lazy smile painted your face, your eyes blown out, everything a little blurry. everything except him.

you could feel him scaling up your body, crawling over you until he was level with your face. he placed a kiss to your throat, your jaw and finally your lips; when he pulled away all that was left was shared giddy smile, both of you suddenly shy. you couldn’t stop the roaming of your hands, exploring all the parts of him that you could reach. when you found the waist band of his joggers, your hand grazing his abs as you did, he sucked all of the air out of the room, a sharp inhalation making him tense up.

“you still want all of me?” he breathed, his shaky breath fanning your face. lando was obsessed with hearing you say it, obsessed with how you wanted him as much as he needed you.

“all of you. lando, this is… you’re perfect.” you admitted, lips brushing his. your hands pushed the material down his hips, nails raking over him as you did. he couldn’t seem to wait any longer, kicking them off the rest of the way, his boxers quickly following suit.

you couldn’t help but stare, all of him bare against all of you. your nipples brushed his chest, his hands holding you close, your hands threaded through his curls. it was like you were sussing each other out, eyes watching lips and hands getting lost. you stayed like that for a moment, pressed together, closer and closer, until he was slotted between your legs like he was coming home. lando searched your face one last time, hunting for a smidge of discomfort.

“are you ready for me?” he whispered.

“yes.”

the initial stretch burned, but he slid into you smoothly, his cock slipping through your folds with ease. he felt you clamp down on him, his head thrown back as far as it could go, thick neck exposed to you. you bit down on his shoulder, where it met the base of his throat, trying to mask the gasp of pleasure that sent your eyes rolling back in your head. he grunted at the sensation, enjoying the sting.

“oh, fuck.” he was shuddering, trying to keep himself in check.

“don’t, oh god,” you started, meeting the roll of his hips. “don’t hold back.”

“we gotta go easy.”

“i don’t want easy.” you tightened around him then, and he saw stars.

“you’re so fucking good.” lando groaned, an edge of excitement in his voice, and then he unleashed everything that he’d held back. how much he wanted you, and a bittersweet weekend of frustration versus success came crashing down and he couldn’t do anything except give himself to you exactly how you wanted.

lando was a delicious weight on top of you, the drag of his hips slow, meeting yours hard. the pressure made you lightheaded, his body moving against yours like the thick drip of honey, smooth and sweet. you couldn’t make sense of it, of how fucking good he felt, grinding deeper and deeper into you like he’d found buried treasure. the overstimulation had your third orgasm building nice and quick, waves of pleasure making you dizzy.

“you like it like this? like when i fuck you nice and hard?” yes you did. “don’t think i can go without this now, you know that? such a good fucking girl.” you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, just let his words wash over you. “so beautiful, taking me so well.”

you couldn’t process that this was your best friend lando. this was a different person, it had to be. yet, somehow, it made sense that the man you knew, the one who spoke his mind, mischievous and troublesome, would be like this, a god above you as he fucked deeper into you with every thrust. he was filthy and gentle, brutal and sweet. it didn’t make sense, but it also just did.

“are you gonna come for me? one more time, baby. need to feel that perfect fucking pussy.” well, his wish was your command, because then you were gushing. the one thing you could feel was him, none of your other senses worked, you couldn’t see past the tears that fell, couldn’t get any words past your lips. maybe you screamed, you weren’t exactly sure.

lando was kissing you everywhere. each hip bone was met with his lips, your stomach, over your ribs, breasts, clavicle, neck. your face was covered in kisses next, your cheeks, forehead, a dainty peck to your nose.

“can you look at me?”

your eyes cracked open slowly, the exhaustion hitting as you came back to reality.

“was that okay?” there he was again, this shy version of lando that you couldn’t get used to.

“okay? lando that was…” you shook your head in awe. “that meant everything to me.”

he smiled then, that gorgeous, gorgeous smile, the one with the crinkles by his eyes and his teeth on full display. you melted.

“me too. you’re fucking beautiful. so, so fucking beautiful. should’ve told you sooner.” he murmured.

his words made you think, way too hard for your current state. what happened next? lando had said some things, some pretty big things that you didn’t know how to comprehend. it was crazy, how scared you were to bring it back up to him, considering he’d just been inside of you.

“sooner?” you whispered, hardly audible. lando was midway through tucking you both into bed, pulling your flushed, naked body into his own under the duvet.

“yes. a lot sooner.” he replied, not a trace of doubt in his voice.

‘how much sooner?’ you thought to yourself, unable to stay awake any longer to agonise over it, your dreams haunted by the way he touched you so well. it was magnificent to fall asleep in his arms, and you couldn’t help yourself from wondering when it would happen again.

-

you woke up tangled with him, fingers stroking your cheek, smoothing your hair out of your eyes.

lando was always so warm, but now his tanned skin radiated sunshine, a beacon of light in your bed. you smiled, eyes still shut, shielding yourself from the streaks of light casting over the room from the crack in the curtains.

“what time is it?” you croaked, bringing a hand to your eyes to rub away the sleep.

“gone eleven. i need to go, baby.”

baby.

you hadn’t gotten a chance to take my notice of the things he’d called you last night, too caught up in the way he played with your body. now that you heard it, in the calm after the storm, it made you swoon.

“already?” you tried to hide your disappointment, not quite ready to detangle yourself from him.

“need to get to the track. i think i’m already late. i just wanted to be here when you woke up.” lando sounded so soft, not as groggy as you, and you wondered how long he’d been awake, watching the soft rise and fall of your chest.

“thank you.” you knew that you’d have spiralled waking up alone, and you were immensely grateful that he’d stayed.

lando began to get up, wincing at your whine of protest.

“i’m sorry. i’ll have someone pick you up later, okay? i’ll see you soon, i promise.”

you knew he had to work hard today, knew how much analysis he needed to do before the race. he was starting further back than anyone would have liked, and he had something to prove as well, oscar starting too close to the front for lando’s liking. there were places to make up and hard work to be done to get back to the front.

“don’t apologise. i hope it goes smoothly today.” you smiled at him, watching him collect his long forgotten clothes. you were entranced by the way his body moved, the lines and shapes that tensed and rippled as he dressed himself.

“i’ll message you.” he promised, creeping back over to the bed. you weren’t sure what to expect, but the soft kiss to your lips, almost apprehensive on his part, could have killed you off, your heart pounding.

your grinned like a fool when the door shut behind him.

-

the shower was burning hot, loosening up your muscles. you cleaned yourself slowly, examining your body, the same one that you’d given to lando. he’d taken you apart, piece by piece, and put you back together, the traces of him that he’d left behind delectably apparent.

you followed the trail of marks he’d left, starting with the love bite below your right breast that you couldn’t even remember him leaving, making your way to the litter of fingerprints that were tattooed into your hips. your fingertips ghosted over your swollen lips, the kiss that he’d left at the junction between your neck and your shoulder, reminiscing the evening. you seemed to ache everywhere, the dull pain setting into your bones so nicely.

you prayed it would happen again. you felt like it would, everything between you had changed now, changed from any possible return to the norm. you wanted it to change, you couldn’t fathom the idea of staying friends when the lines had blurred like this, when he’d kissed you so deeply, touched you so intimately.

the shower was much needed, refreshing your body that was now tainted by him in the best way. you tried to keep a clear head while you got yourself ready, taking your time to make yourself presentable to the paddock. the time of your departure was looming, the pink and white sunset outside your window indicating that the race was only a few hours away. the air had cooled slightly, and you knew you needed to make your way to the lobby.

your phone dinged in your hand as you were packing your essentials into your bag. you glanced down at the device, unruly smile gracing your face.

see you soon, the text read, an orange love heart punctuating the short but sweet text. it was safe to say that the butterflies in your belly were well and truly alive.

-

the screen beeped as you scanned your paddock pass, and you slipped through the gate, making your way into the paddock. it was beautiful in qatar, they’d outdone themselves with this structure, the glass ceilings and jungle of greenery an expression of wealth and elegance.

you made a beeline for the mclaren garage, greeting lando’s pr officer who smiled warmly at you. you recognised oscar smirking as you appeared in the garage, and as you got closer you realised why.

“nice to see you. looking for lando?” his monotonous voice held an amused twang.

“hey oscar, great job last night!” you said, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “yeah, is he around here somewhere?”

“yeah he’s just doing press i think. extra spring in his step today.” oscar gave you a knowing look, one that made you blush.

“what do you know?” you deadpanned, fighting back laughter.

“i know that this was a long time coming.” he smiled, and then he was gone, lost to the bustle of the garage.

you stood there, probably in the way, lost in thought about what oscar had just said. he was right, this was a long time coming.

you jumped a bit when a hand landed on your waist, relaxing instantly into lando’s body when he pressed himself against you, head on your shoulder.

“i’m so glad you’re here.” he whispered, pressing a secret kiss under your ear, and then he, too, was gone, before you could even react.

your nerves were shot, ushered to the back of the garage where you found a headset. you chewed your nails, anxious about it all. the race, the changes that you were surely coming. you wanted it, wanted everything from him that he’d give you, willing to commit to all of it, to him. the distance, borrowed time, chaos of his world. last night had changed everything and you couldn’t have asked for more.

eventually the lights went out and the fight was underway. you found your hands clasped together, sweating in the dry heat and the anxiety. you clapped every time he made an overtake, storming through the field. when he made it into p3, picking the pace up on oscar, the nerves resurged and you prayed for a clean end to this race.

lando’s radio messages flooded your ears, and your leg bounced uncontrollably, your shoe slapping against the floor.

“be sensible, lando.” you muttered under your breath, resting your chin on your tightly clasped hands. he would be on the podium, but you knew it wasn’t enough for him, it never was. would you be enough for him?

eventually he agreed to hold position, thank fuck, and you could breathe again. he’d driven a beautiful recovery drive, bringing the car onto the podium, and you rushed out with the team to congratulate him. you lingered at the back of the pack behind the metal barriers, watching in quiet admiration as he jumped out of the car. he slapped oscar on the back, hugging his younger teammate before bounding towards the team. his head was darting around as if he was looking for something, but you couldn’t make it out with his helmet still on. and then the helmet came off and it became clear.

he was looking for you.

lando pulled away from a hug with a mechanic, leaning over the barrier right in front of you. you gravitated towards him, somehow moving through the swarm of team members until you were pressed against the metal too. he was beaming, eyes brighter than they had been all working weekend, and then his hands were on you. the hug he pulled you into was tight and you clung to one another for a moment, unbothered by his damp race suit, or the tickle of his sweat slicked curls.

the kiss he pressed to your cheek was far less secret than the one in the garage, so was the one he pressed to your forehead, but the one he pressed to your lips, as quick as it may have been, was the one that really took the cake. you were blushing when he pulled back, a mischievous grin on his face. you shook your head in disbelief at his boldness, unable to tame your bewildered smile.

“what are you doing for dinner, baby?” he called out to you as he walked away. the podium high had clearly set in.

nothing, you mouthed back, not quite confident enough to shout across parc ferme.

“good, we’re going on a date.” lando winked and then he was gone, pulled into the chaos of post race duties.

tears pricked your eyes when he stood on the podium, a much happier man than the one you found when you’d arrived. you couldn’t put it into words, how one night had changed everything, giving you everything you didn’t realise you wanted.

then again, lando was always good at beating expectations.

-

hehe the end

-

taglist

had to remove some tags that aren’t working! let me know if you wanna be added or removed xo

@boysthatgovroomvroom @thegirlinthefandoms @welld0nebaku @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @turningxstrange @rachstash @infinitebells @multilovebot @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @yeolsbubbles @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @organasith @micks-afterglow @blueflorals @juno-1610 @lqvesoph @wilmasvensson @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @h0e-xoxo @mattxxamryli @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3

[diordeer]

౨ৎ HOW YOU GET THE GIRL PT.2

“remind me how it used to be, pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks… and say you want me” - taylor swift (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader (part 1 here)

description: i just watched an edward scissorhands ballet and its made me reminiscent of my dance days… why did angsty teen me quit!!

Liked by iamcharliebushnell, dior.n.goodjohn and others

yn.ln last little photo dump, with taylor stealing my phone and taking a selfie which is something i never thought would happen?!

tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift

View all comments.

user1 charlies been REAL quiet since the comment

↳ user2 I dont think its awkward between them bc otherwise she wouldnt be posting them together

dior.n.goodjohn imagine having THE TAYLOR SWIFT hijack ur phone

↳ yn.ln ikr like i mean she can keep it if she wants idm 🤷‍♀️

user3 me trying to figure out if the post is from the mv or behind the scenes

↳ user4 yeeah like it IS a scene but from a phone camera… and they r pretty close

user13 HE WANTS U FOR WORSE OR FOR BETTER!!!!

user5 well, she isnt fighting the dating allegations is she

↳ user6 why would she have to?

taylorswift 😘😘😘

user7 R THEY TOGETHER??!!

↳ user8 i dont think so, just rly close

user9 why is it the end of the photo dumps 😃

↳ user10 probs bc thats all the photos she has from it 🙄

user11 ok NOW get her cast on percy jackson

user12 they better be dating or im going to kms

Direct Messages:

You: Heyy charlie, what was that comment about that walker sent?

Charlie: Ohh did u see that?

You: Yeah sorryyyy!

Charlie: No dont be sorry, it was just walker yk? he goes on about random stuff to annoy people a bit

Yn: So.. its not true?

Charlie: I think it was just a joke 😄

Yn: Oh okayy! Sorry! Are we still on for the weekend then? Maybe we can chat ab it

Charlie: Of course!!!! … whats there to talk about tho?

Liked by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln we in fact had A LOT to talk about

tagged iamcharliebushnell

View all comments.

user5 why do i feel like we missed a chapter

dior.n.goodjohn if i had to sit through one more session of you two yearning for eachover i might have gone crazy

↳ user6 why can i envision this perfectly

user1 talk about, or kiss about?

↳ yn.ln WOWOWOW

user2 HE GOT THE GIRL!!

walker.scobell i take full credit for this

↳ user4 everyone say thank u to walker!

↳ user3 thank u walker 🙏

↳ iamcharliebushnell thank you walker

↳ yn.ln aint no way charlie, u were in so much denial about his comment its embarassing

↳ iamcharliebushnell 😣😣😣

leahsavajeffries FINALLY!!!

user7 OMGOMGOMG

taylorswift i feel like im a matchmaker rn

↳ yn.ln you are, and a very good one at that

user8 ON VALENTINES DAY TOO? SOMEONE GRAB ME A GUN RN

user9 jokes aside her hairband is super cute

↳ yn.ln its my prized possession, i will wear it any chance i get

Liked by taylorswift, dior.n.goodjohn and others

yn.ln omgomg, still in awe that our how you get the girl music video won an AWARD?! It was all u taylor boo 🩷🩷

tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift

View all comments.

user1 THE OUTFITS? THE HAIR? THEY ALL ATE SO HARD THERES NOT EVEN A KITCHEN ANYMORE

taylorswift all ME?! u ARE how u get the girl

↳ yn.ln STOP THIS MADNESS

↳ iamcharliebushnell what about mee?? 😣

↳ yn.ln oh! 😄 well ur a guy so…

↳ user3 me he heee

↳ user4 yns so real

sabrinacarpenter ahh congrats!! So well deserved!! 🎉🎉

user2 i cant believe this is real, yn, taylor, and charlie ?!?!

dior.n.goodjohn I WAS ROOTING FOR U!!

↳ iamcharliebushnell I WOULD HOPE SO?!

user5 charlie got the girl and got the award !

↳ user6 that was so cringey

user7 yn and taylor are my new fav duo

gracieabrams YESS!! WELL DONE 🥳🥳

taglist: @highfidelities @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r

[incognit0slut]

Masterlist

KINKTOBER 2023 NSFW

One-shots based on songs

Lock your door NSFW Billie Eillish - Billie Bossa Nova >> All Reader wanted was for her coworker to pay attention to her. Spencer was more than happy to oblige.

Take it off Taylor Swift - Dress >> Spencer has a hard time keeping his hands to himself.

Buried in the pillow NSFW Chase Atlantic - Slow Down >> A night of restless sleep ends better than expected.

Body on mine NSFW Justin Sky - Collide >> Reader and Spencer find a way to spend the night together on a team retreat.

Lose Control part 1 of 3 NSFW Sickick - Mind Games >> Spencer finds himself locked in a room with his rival.

↳ The Last Laugh part 2 of 3 NSFW Sickick - Mind Games >> Spencer finds himself sharing a room with his rival.

↳ Better for you part 3 of 3 Spencer spends the change of year with a new resolution as he starts looking at his rival differently.

Dance with the devil NSFW Chase Atlantic - Swim >> Spencer reassures Reader that sex toys are his ally rather than his enemy.

All I need NSFW Daniel Caesar, Kali Uchis - Get you >> Spencer realizes how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with Reader. What better time is there to propose if not in the middle of making love?

Heaven to you NSFW Julia Michaels - Heaven >> Spencer couldn't wait to touch you after he's released from prison.

Play our fantasies NSFW Doja Cat - Streets >> The FBI agent visiting your workplace wants more from you than answers to his questions.

One-shot #Gifwriting

Pretty Boy NSFW Spencer was too pretty for you to resist.

Pretty when you sleep NSFW As newlyweds, Spencer couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Even when you were asleep.

Sweet agony NSFW After a tragic event, you believed you were unworthy of love. Spencer decided to prove you wrong.

Tempting the Cowboy NSFW The team has been trying to bring Spencer back to the BAU after he hung up his badge to live on his ranch peacefully. It’s a good thing you’ll do whatever it takes to persuade him, even if the rugged cowboy wants to bend you over in the barn.

Beyond the limit NSFW Spencer was hesitant when you asked him to be rough, but when he realized how much you enjoyed it, he wondered just how far he could push your limit.

↳ The breaking point NSFW Spencer realizes that being dominant doesn’t always require him to be rough, especially when he has complete control over your body.

Hypothetically Chronically single, you suggest a pact with your best friend to start a family together when you turn forty.

Series

Right Kind of Wrong

Genre: Romance, mystery, crime, suspense Warnings: 18+ explicit sexual content (MINORS DNI), graphic details of murders, mentions of suicide, mentions of SA status: complete

Reader never thought she would be involved in a murder investigation when she suddenly became a witness. She also never thought she’d encounter her one-night-stand again—the awkward stranger who isn’t exactly that good in bed… Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong. But the more he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, the more he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye.

Your requests

Love was a foreign concept until he met you.

You’re flabbergasted at how much your son resembles your husband.

Spencer thinks you’re too sweet for a damaged man like him.

Spencer forces you to give him a show when he discovers your secret.

Spencer gives you a ride on his horse to watch the sunset.

Your idea of showering together to save time doesn’t work out as you planned.

Spencer finally lets you go down on him after you convince him that you're ready.

[wcters]

𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗗𝗢 𝗜𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

summary: when you think you’re ready to give matt’s stuff back and move on, one question from his brother breaks you

warnings/notes: part two of ‘Polaroids’, angst, established relationship, mental health mentions, kissing, thank you to everyone who wanted a part two! this is for you 💋 also based on ‘i can do it with a broken heart’ by taylor swift because the new album is amazing 🤍

You always thought of yourself as resilient. You pushed through hard times and tough situations even though you felt like you couldn’t. You hear the phrase ‘fake it till’ you make it’ your whole life from your parents . . . So that’s what you did. You put on a fake smile and pushed through. You only let yourself feel every once and a while, while the rest was spent pushing it down.

With Matt, you never had to do that. You always had someone there to let you know you were okay . . . That you weren’t alone. He was there holding your hand and grounding you, he was there being your shoulder to cry on and held you when you broke down. For years, you weren’t alone. Now you were again, and you needed him.

After that night you put the last few polaroids from your wall away, you pushed your feelings to the back of your mind like you used to. You felt like you had been tricked ━━ like you had been fooled. You didn’t hate him . . . You were just unknowingly putting the blame on him because you felt embarrassed.

You went out with your friends acted like you were having fun, dancing and smiling for pictures while you felt like you were dying inside. You answered Nick and Chris’s texts with fake ‘I’m okay’s’ and ‘I’m fine’s’. You were now the one tricking everyone else. No one seemed to catch on that you could see. But Matt did.

He saw how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, how your hands would be gripping a glass to the point where he knew it would make imprints into your palm. He saw how you used your punctuation when you answered his brother’s texts and how he heard your voice when they FaceTimed you (they thought he was asleep). He knew . . . He would always know.

It was a couple months after you had finished packing his things that you still had away when you decided it was time to drop them off. At that point in time, you were too focused with acting like you were okay to realize you weren’t actually ready. You didn’t realize it until Nick asked you that one question.

Your knuckles banged against the wooden door as you waited. You saw that Chris and Matt were out from one of Chris’s snaps he sent you, so you thought you could get it over with now and not have to face your ex-boyfriend. There were footsteps before the door was opened and there stood Nick. You smiled at him, and he smiled back. He knew something was wrong but it didn’t solidify until he saw your face.

Your eyes were sunken ━━ under eyes black like a buildup of cried-up mascara. Your face was pale, the rosiness of your cheeks Nick was always jealous of was like a fading memory. You looked almost . . . Hollow. A facade of your old self. He decided not to say anything, at least not yet. “Would you like to come in and set that down? Matt and Chris are out.” He told you. You nodded, not wanting to talk just yet incase you broke down.

You two made your way up their stairs, walking into the kitchen and putting the box on the kitchen. You resisted to look around or sit down like you used to. You weren’t his anymore, this wasn’t your second home anymore. “Want a coke?” The brunette asked you. You replied with a small ‘sure’ and stayed where you were. You were handed the coke and Nick went to sit down, looking at you as if to to tell him to follow him. You did.

You two sat in silence for a minute before you started the conversation. You were confident enough you weren’t going to sound like you wanted to cry. You didn’t want this to be any more awkward than it already was. You two talked about things ━━ family, friends, things that have happened. You don’t know how long you were there for, but soon enough your drink was finished and you were excusing yourself. Nick was following you to the stairs when he spoke up.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked you. You froze. Were you? You had tricked yourself into thinking you were okay because you acted like you were fine . . . But you weren’t. A sob broke through your lips and he grabbed you and pulled you in. You knew you would feel embarrassed if you could think about anything else but the feelings you had pushed down breaking through the dam you had put up. “Oh honey.” Your knees shook and Nick continued to hold you even as you fell to the floor. You ignored the pain that flared in your knees.

“I miss him.” You cried, knuckles holding on to him as if he would disappear if you let go. “I miss you too.” This time, the voice came from behind you as you turned around to see the boy who still had your heart. Now, you felt embarrassed. But also relieved that you weren’t alone in feeling like absolute shit. Matt nodded to Nick and Chris who showed up with Matt who then left leaving you and Matt. You continued your sobbing and Matt joined you on the floor. He pulled you into his lap and just held you, whispering things you couldn’t hear over the sound of your cries into your neck.

Matt was hurting as bad as you were, but he knew you. He knew you had been holding everything in. He knew you needed to let it out more than he did. He never stopped you or interrupted you once, just rubbed your back and told you to breathe every once and awhile. When you finally stopped, you looked up at the man who was holding you.

He had tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” You apologized, moving to get up and wipe your tears. “Don’t be sorry.” His hand stopped you, keeping you where you were. “I was an idiot. I never should have hurt you the way I did. I made a promise, and I broke that. I’m sorry.” You could feel his hands against the sides of your face. You smiled softly, a tear joining the ones stained in your face. “I don’t want my things back. I want you back, and want you to keep them. I want the Polaroids up on your wall, the smell of your perfume permanently on my sweaters, and you the evidence of you in my life. I want you.”

You pulled him into a kiss, your feelings being let out. You were letting him know how you were feeling. “I love you, Matt.” You whispered as your forehead pressed against his. “I love you so much,” you laughed, “I love your shoes at my door, the smell of your hoodies, you.” He smiled. “Glad we’re on the same page with that one.” He joked as you let out a quick laugh.

“Just shut up and kiss me, Matt.”

“Yes ma’am.”

[soulessjourney]

Hello love I have a request that I would love you to write!

Cassian or Azriel I am not picky and Y/N

Y/n gets into an argument with Cassian and or Azriel about how they are not attentive, and they’re for them anymore and says that if things don’t change they’re leaving. Things do not change and it is the night that the inner circle goes into Hewn city. at the gala, Eris ask Y/N to dance. And one of the boys is really brooding just standing in a corner just watching YN and Eris dance and then is the part where Taylor goes. “I can see you staring honey like he’s just your understudy like you get your knuckles, bloody for me” I want their eyes to connect from across the dance floor. That would be great. then I am giving you full creative freedom with the undertones of exile by Taylor Swift. give me all the angst you can give the more the better.

I absolutely love this idea! I hope that I live up to your expectations and provided enough angst to feed that burning hunger of yours! Also apologies that it has taken me so long, in all honesty I kept forgetting what I was writing and I wanted it to be PERFECT.

Exile

Paring: Azriel x Reader

Word count: 4k

Summary: Azriel starts to distance himself from you. Fed up with his disappearing acts, you confront him, only for it to end in driving you away entirely.

Warnings: Angst (and lots of it), Fighting, Language, Hurt and comfort (from Mor)

If there was one thing Azriel was known for, it was his dedication to his work and his undying loyalty to Rhysand. He was also your mate, someone who meant the entire world to you. You had met Azriel about two hundred years ago when you started your bakery. He came in after watching you struggle with carrying the large bags of flour, extending a helping hand. Since then, he started coming daily to see what new goods you were cooking up, and that's when he asked you on your first date.

The first date was a bit awkward as he shied away, speaking in such a hushed tone that you had to repeatedly ask him to repeat himself. Despite Azriel's strength, you loved his shy side. There was something so docile and soft about it, and you were the only one who truly got to see that side of him.

When the bond snapped into place, both of you were fighting over who would mix the flour, ending with both of you covered from head to toe. It was when he heard your infectious laugh that he felt it, and it was obvious when you gave him that loving gaze he was drawn to. Your eyes were so soft, and your smile was wide. So, that evening, you made him his favorite treat and offered it to him, which soon led to Azriel making sure Rhysand got it through Cassian’s head that you two were not to be bothered for a few weeks.

Those were the moments you missed more than anything. You missed curling up with Azriel as you read the same book, often sharing your reactions. You missed hiding from him to scare him, only to fail the moment his shadows shot out to greet you after a long day. You missed your mate, and your happy memories felt like a fever dream. He was starting to become a distant memory, and part of you wasn’t even sure if you wanted to put up a fight.

You couldn't recall the last time you had spent more than a few moments with him. Lately, he had been staying at the House of Wind to be closer to Rhysand, ready for any last-minute missions that might arise. Initially, you didn't mind, considering Rhysand's frequent missions, especially when Feyre was pregnant and needed his support. However, what began to trouble you was that he never invited you to join him, nor did he visit your shared home to see you.

Then you heard about the time he started spending with Elain. You weren't bothered by her, as you couldn't blame her for shutting everyone out. Her entire life had been stripped away in a matter of moments, and now she was essentially immortal, with a mate forced upon her. However, understanding also brought weariness. You could sense that she had developed feelings for your mate, and Azriel, being who he is, most likely was unaware of the affection she held towards him. Strangely, this knowledge made you want to be around him more, but you didn't know how to navigate the situation.

Azriel had been a significant presence in your life, and the sensation of him slipping away was something you loathed. At some point, he had closed off the bond, making it nearly impossible to reach out to him through it. Running your hands over your face, you attempted to dispel the exhaustion before deciding to visit the House of Wind to ensure Azriel was at least alive.

Your arrival at the House of Wind did not go unnoticed. Cassian, upon spotting you ascending to the training area, made your presence known. "Y/N! You're here. We've been wondering when you would show up. We were starting to think you didn't like us," he teased, capturing everyone's attention.

Clearing your throat, you offered him a small smile as the breeze tousled your hair. "Yeah, things have been hectic at the bakery. Have you seen Azriel? It's been hard to find him lately," you inquired, noticing Cassian's expression contorting into one of pure confusion.

"What do you mean? He said he was with you this morning," Cassian replied, scrutinizing your every move. Dread began to fill your body as the realization that Azriel had even been deceiving the others dawned on you.

Forcefully laughing, you scratched the back of your head, clearing your throat. "No, he was! By 'lately,' I meant during the day since he's usually all over because of the missions Rhys keeps assigning him," you explained, even your forced smile fading as Cassian's gaze filled with concern and pity.

"Y/N, Rhys hasn't assigned him anything for a while, not after what happened with Feyre and your injury. Rhys wanted him to be around you more because of that close call. Are you telling me you haven't seen him?" Cassian inquired, raising a brow and challenging you to lie. By now, the entire area had cleared out except for Nesta, who stood in the background watching you and Cassian, her jaw tense. She knew something, and you would extract it from her if necessary.

"No, I haven't. I mean, he comes home once in a blue moon, but then he just sleeps in the guest room, and he's gone by the time I wake up," you admitted, your shoulders sagging. "I really miss him, Cass. The nightmares are starting to return. He's not avoiding me because he blames himself for what happened, right?" Just a few months ago, Azriel had angered someone, resulting in a dagger being firmly lodged in your side. Recalling that moment, you realized Azriel wasn't present when Cassian and Feyre found you on the floor of the bakery's kitchen that morning.

You heard Nesta curse before she joined Cassian's side. "I spoke to the idiot already, and I thought I got through to him. He's with Elain in the garden. I saw them just before training started, and considering how often they spend time there, he should still be there," she divulged, her expression shifting from anger to guilt. You wanted to be furious, but part of you couldn't muster the anger towards her. Nesta had tried her best to handle the situation discreetly, but with her knowing, you wondered just how long Azriel had been sneaking around with Elain while deceiving the rest of his family.

You hadn’t heard anything else Nesta had said as your feet carried you through the house. Just as you turned the corner, you collided with a solid chest, causing you to stumble back. Looking up, you sucked in a deep breath as your eyes locked with a pair of hazel ones. "Azriel," you breathed, reaching out towards him. Your hand fell to your side when he pulled away from you. "I've missed you. You're never around anymore," your voice thick with emotion as you struggled to say anything beyond the standard 'I miss you'.

Azriel glanced over your shoulder, his expression hardening. "You're not supposed to be here. Why are you here?" His eyes eventually met yours as a scoff escaped your mouth. You hadn’t seen your mate for the past few weeks, and that’s what he had to say to you? That you weren’t supposed to be there, trying to ensure he was alive?

"You're joking, right? Azriel, I haven’t seen you for weeks, and that’s all you have to say? A hello would’ve been nice at least," you snapped, crossing your arms. Rolling his eyes, he turned on his heel and began to walk away. "No, you don’t get to walk away from me, Azriel. That’s not fair. You don’t get to pull a disappearing act without some sort of explanation. You don’t get to lie to your family and expect not to get caught," you snapped, following after him. As the two of you entered the dining area, you missed the others sitting at the table, their conversations cut short as you stomped after Azriel.

Azriel stopped and spun towards you, his wings flaring slightly. "My gods, Y/N, can’t you just get off my back? I’m not going to be there every single second of the day with you. You need to learn how to live without me for once in your life." Any sound that filled the room suddenly fell silent as you took a step back, feeling as though he had slapped you.

"Oh, shit." Looking around, you came face to face with your family, all silent as they watched you. Nesta was glaring daggers at Azriel, while Cassian and Rhysand were positioned to intervene if things went south. Mor and Feyre looked at you, their faces filled with guilt. Then there was Elain, sitting there with the audacity to appear clueless about what was happening. Your entire family was there to witness the potential downfall of your relationship with Azriel. Great.

"What's your issue, Y/N? Why are you on my case today? I haven’t done anything to deserve this nagging. Gods, it’s like after you healed, you became an overbearing mess," Nesta slammed her hands down on the table and stood, prompting Cassian to grab hold of her to prevent her from lunging at Azriel across the room.

A dry laugh escaped you as you narrowed your eyes. “Overbearing? Azriel, you haven’t been around in weeks! You can’t even stand to be in the same room as me. And overbearing? Day to day, I have to deal with the people you anger, and I constantly fear for my life because of your job. I took a damn dagger to the side and almost died because of your job. I’m sorry if accepting you for who you are and your job is overbearing. I’m sorry that worrying for you is just so awful. You’ve changed, Azriel, and I don’t know if it’s because of the damn elephant in the room or if you’ve simply given up. I’m tired of dealing with the nightmares alone, and I want you back by my side when I wake up screaming because I constantly feel that dagger ripping me apart.” Tears streamed down your face as you looked around.

Rhysand had slowly made his way towards you with Mor by his side, the two members of this family, besides Cassian, whom you trusted with your life. Glaring down at the ground, you looked up at Azriel, your face void of any emotion. “If you can’t clean up your act, I’m done.” Azriel froze as a flood of fear slammed into you. He slipped, and you could tell the moment he slammed those walls back up.

“Clean up my act? You’re the one to talk. It’s like ever since you woke up, you became afraid of the world all over again. You shouldn’t need us to walk you to work and back. You shouldn’t need us hanging around the store all day just because you’re scared of someone showing up. I can’t stand to have a mate who is so fearful of the world.” You dropped your shoulders in defeat at his words. It was true; after what happened, you had been terrified of being in that shop, fearing they would come back and finish the job.

Rhysand was next to you in a second, followed by Mor, who caught you as your knees gave out. “That is no way to speak to your mate, Azriel,” Rhysand spat. “You sat around moping because you wanted one. The Mother blesses you with one, and this is how you thank her? Seriously?” Rhysand crossed his arms, the room noticeably darkening.

“Well, maybe she made a mistake. Maybe Y/N isn’t supposed to be my mate. We have nothing in common, meanwhile, Elain and I do.” The moment the words left his mouth, your head snapped in Elain’s direction as you clenched your jaw.

Looking back at Azriel, you shook your head. “I mean it, Azriel. If you can’t clean up your act, I’m done. Don’t bother looking for me until you figure out your mess. I’m done,” you spat, winnowing from your very spot into your room. Grabbing a duffel bag, you began to cram things into it just as you heard footsteps sprinting down the hall towards your door, and the echoes of voices calling out to the owner of those steps.

As Azriel threw open the door, you looked at him as he reached out for you, his mouth opening to say something. Before you could hear what he had to say, you disappeared, leaving him standing in the middle of your room.

---

It had been a month since you chose to seclude yourself in Mor's guest bedroom. As the door slowly opened, light flooded into the dark room, and Mor stepped inside. Sitting on the bed, she gently rubbed your back to draw your attention. "Hey there, sweetheart. It's time to get you out of this room. Velaris has started to notice your absence now that the bakery is closed," she said softly, sensing your reluctance. "He still asks about you, but he's also spending more time with her. Rhys has tried talking sense into him, Cassian kicked his ass, and the girls have been giving him the cold shoulder. I'm sorry, my love, but perhaps attending the Gala in Hewn City would do you good," she suggested, brushing your hair away from your face gently.

You nodded and turned onto your side to look at her, a small frown forming on your lips. Mor's gaze softened as she sighed softly. "Come, I want to show you something," she said, gently pulling you out of bed. Standing up, you followed her out of the room toward another one just down the hall. Mor pushed the door open, revealing a mannequin adorned with a stunning deep purple gown featuring delicate beadwork climbing the bodice. The main skirts bore the design of a tree and leaves, with the beads on the skirt representing flowers. It was the most beautiful gown you had ever seen.

"I had it made for you to wear tonight. You deserve to look and feel beautiful. Azriel is taking you for granted. With your beauty and eyes that could bring a man to his knees, this dress is perfect for you," Mor whispered from behind you, resting her hands on your shoulders gently.

A wide smile graced your lips for the first time in a month as you turned to face Mor. "Thank you, Mor. Truly, it means a lot to me that you did this," your words were soft and heartfelt. A sense of brokenness lingered within you, the result of Azriel's neglect over the past month, compounded by the knowledge of his time spent with Elain. Mor guided you to the bathroom, where she helped you into the tub and began to wet and wash your hair.

"You know, we’re all upset with him for treating you like this. Yes, Elain needed help before, but even Nesta started to reprimand him for spending too much time with her. I remember when he first came home after meeting you. He was covered in flowers and had the biggest grin on his face. He couldn't stop talking about you, and Cassian often had to beg him to stop. But then, after one of his missions went awry and you got hurt, everything changed. He refused to see you, or even go near that part of the house. And then he kissed Elain. I thought Nesta was going to tear him to shreds. After that, he began lying to us about spending time with you, even after Rhysand practically forced him out of the garden." Mor's words pierced through you, mentioning the kiss shattered your fragile emotional state.

A wave of despair washed over you. Shoulders slumping, you gazed down at the water surrounding your bare form. "Do you think he still loves me?" you asked, your voice trembling with uncertainty. Mor took a deep breath, visibly caught off guard by your question. She hummed softly as she poured water over your head, grappling for the right words.

"I'm sure he does. Azriel is complex, we all know that. For centuries, he's prayed to The Mother for a mate. I heard him whispering a prayer every night until he met you. Then it turned into begging her to ensure your safety. Azriel tends to shut down and push away those closest to him when he's struggling to cope. He avoided Rhysand when he returned from Amarantha's clutches. His treatment of you isn't fair, but I genuinely don't know how to reach him anymore." Mor cleared her throat, rising to her feet. "I'll leave you to dry off and get into a robe. When you're ready, come downstairs, and I'll help you dress and do your hair," she offered with a comforting smile, squeezing your shoulder before exiting the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

It didn’t take long for you to exit the tub once the water turned cold. After drying off your body, you slipped on a black silk robe and began to towel dry your hair. As you made your way towards the stairs, you made a mental note to find a way to thank Mor for everything she had done for you. Nearing the bottom of the steps, you froze upon hearing Mor engaged in a conversation with someone. Peeking around the corner, you spotted Azriel standing with his back to you in the middle of the living room, while Mor stared at him with an intense gaze. “She thinks you don’t love her, Azriel. You’ve pushed her to the brink of giving up,” she snapped, causing him to tense at her words.

Azriel ran his fingers through his hair, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to find the right words to say. “I do, I just... I don’t know. I haven’t seen her for a month, and I’m starting to go crazy, Mor. I don’t know what to do about it anymore, and it feels like everything I say comes out wrong,” he confessed. You noticed his shadows lurking in the room, beginning to slither their way towards you.

“And what about the kiss, Azriel? You kissed Elain while your own mate was at home, thinking you were off on some mission Rhysand assigned to you,” Mor jabbed a finger into his shoulder. “You gave up, and she kept pushing. This is your doing, and you need to figure it out. She was serious when she told you to clean up your act. Right now, you’re showing her you’ll never change, not after you hadn’t even bothered to come see her for a month knowing she was here. You pushed her aside for Elain. It’s time you finally accept the consequences of your actions, Azriel. If you lose her for good, that’ll be on you.” Before Azriel could respond, he tensed and turned towards you, his eyes widening.

Allowing your gaze to fall into a blank expression, you looked at Mor. “I’m ready,” your voice came out as a whisper, and Mor nodded, shoving past Azriel. You both made your way back up the stairs, leaving Azriel standing alone in the middle of the room. Once again, you were just out of his reach, and once again, he was on the verge of losing you for good.

---

The gala was breathtaking. Witnessing the courts gathering together always brought you immense joy. Tamlin made his way towards you, a wide smile on his face. “Y/N! It’s good to see you again. We've been missing your baked goods dearly,” he grinned, prompting a laugh from you. Born in the Spring court, you had grown close to Tamlin, and it was there that you honed your baking skills while growing up. When the time came for you to seek a new path, Tamlin had let you go, assuring you that you would always have a home to return to.

When Azriel pulled his disappearing acts, leaving you alone with your thoughts, you often debated returning to Spring, where you knew you had a family who would welcome you with open arms. “Thank you, Tamlin. If I'm ever permitted, I’ll be sure to bring you some of my cookies that you drooled over,” you teased, brushing a curl away from your shoulder.

Tamlin looked around, a questioning look flashing across his face. “Where’s your mate? The last time you and I talked, he was glued to your side.” Your eyes dulled slightly as you shrugged. You hadn’t seen Azriel all evening, though you knew he was here as you were constantly followed by a shadow.

Before you could respond, Eris made his appearance, as fashionable as ever. “Y/N, you truly outdid yourself this time. You look absolutely breathtaking in that dress. Shall we have a dance?” Without waiting for your answer, Eris grabbed your hand and led you towards the dance floor, where bodies swirled in a mesmerizing pattern. You and Eris fell into an easy rhythm as he looked down at you. “Sorry to drag you away from Tamlin, but I couldn’t help but notice how sad you looked. Is it because of your mate?” His eyes bore into yours as you sucked in a deep breath.

“It would be a mistake to lie to you,” you grumbled, earning a laugh of agreement from him. “Azriel and I haven’t talked for a good while. He’s been busy with other things,” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. As you both spun, you caught sight of him standing in the corner of the room, watching you. Your eyes hardened as they locked onto his.

Eris cleared his throat, pulling your attention back to him. “You know, if you need a break from your home, you can stay in my court. We obviously have the room, and I can make sure you get the space you need to think. As much as Morrigan hates me, she’s worried about you to the point where she asked me for help.” Studying his gaze, it wasn’t hard to tell that he was being genuine.

Looking towards Azriel again, you studied him, your eyes narrowing as Elain walked up to him, handing him a glass. Biting back your tears, you let your walls down, throwing every ounce of anger, betrayal, sadness, and fear at him. You watched as he stumbled back slightly, his hand flying up over his chest, his eyes locking onto yours. You watched as Elain reached out to him, running her hand over his arm as she tried to check on him. Eris stopped moving as he stood next to you, watching the interaction between the both of them. “Just say the word, and I can take you away from here,” he whispered.

You waited for him to brush off Elain, but he didn’t. He let her hand rest on his cheek as he kept his eyes on yours, his eyes widening. “He doesn’t care about me anymore, Eris. Take me to your court,” you said, looking up at Eris, who only nodded. You didn’t miss how he glanced at Rhysand and the others, giving them a small nod. You didn’t miss how their shoulders sagged in defeat once they realized you were leaving. You didn’t miss how the crowd began to part as Azriel raced towards you, dropping to his knees in front of you. You watched as his body shook with sobs, how he begged you to stay, begged you to stay by his side. “Where were you when I begged The Mother to bring you back to me? Where were you when I was dying on the kitchen floor of my own bakery after taking a knife for you? Where were you when I woke up screaming for you? Go back to Elain, Azriel. You made your decision.” With that, you turned to Eris, giving him a small nod. With that, the both of you walked away, leaving Azriel on the ground sobbing into his hands before he disappeared from your sight as the crowd closed behind you.

[bradshawssugarbaby]

I Can See You (Aaron Hotchner x Reader)

pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem! reader

song prompt: I Can See You (From the Vault) - Taylor Swift

warnings/content: mutual pining, Hotch being a gentleman, making out.

word count: 1571

And I could see you up against the wall with me, and what would you do, baby, if you only knew? Oh, oh, oh, that I could see you throw your jacket on the floor, I could see you make me want you even more

You sipped your drink as your eyes scanned the room for a familiar face. You dreaded social events, especially ones where you hardly knew anyone by name, let alone anyone you knew comfortably enough to talk to at length. These work galas were nothing short of awkward and you were thankful they only happened a handful of times a year, but even that was too often. You specifically took up an admin position with the FBI to avoid the social interactions with others regularly - you just weren’t a *people* person. As you continued to sip your cocktail, praying for the fire alarm to ring through the hotel ballroom as the perfect escape for you, you heard a deep voice say your name. You spun around on your heel to see Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief for the Behavioural Analysis Unit standing before you, a warm, friendly smile on his face.

“Hey, fancy seeing you here!” You grinned, trying to mask the social anxiety you were feeling, especially when faced with a man you had feelings for. 

Aaron laughed softly, holding his whiskey glass firmly in his large hand. His fingers wrapped around the glass, making it look as though it was meant for a doll rather than an average sized high-ball glass. He rarely smiled, let alone laughed, so the fact that you were able to accomplish even the slightest snicker out of him was a feat to be admired.

“I don’t normally come to these things,” he nodded his head, “I was told I had to attend this one though for some reason.”

Aaron’s dark brown eyes watched the others as they mingled, creating small talk with colleagues and avoiding the dance floor like the plague. He shook his head, laughing. 

“Why did they think a group of FBI agents would want to dance?” He said discreetly to you.

You laughed at his comment and shrugged your shoulders, “You know, I was wondering the same thing.”

Aaron turned towards you, a warm smile on his lips. You were used to the odd friendly glance from him in passing, but a genuine smile was rare. You couldn’t help but notice how his eyes lit up when he smiled, his whole face appearing completely different from the normally reserved, stoic man everyone knew him as. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of golden brown you’d ever seen, with honey and hazel coloured flecks in the irises. His dark hair had the faintest hint of gray to it, which made him even more attractive, if that was possible. He wore his hair cropped fairly short, with his bangs gelled up slightly, the way he always wore it. In fact, he didn’t really dress any differently from how he usually did at work with his suit and tie, except instead of his usual red or blue tie, he opted for classic black, with a black suit and pure white pressed dress shirt underneath. Aaron was at least 25 years older than you, but that didn’t change anything about the crush you’d developed on him over the past year. If anything, his maturity made him *more* attractive to you. 

“I could use some air,” you nodded, a soft smile forming on your face as you spoke to Aaron.

“Mind if I join you? I could use some fresh air too.”

You nodded your head and followed behind Aaron as you walked outside into the cool October air. The two of you walked further down the pathway into a garden area, further away from the party that was taking place inside. You could feel a shiver down your spine as you walked, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the sheer nervousness from being alone with Aaron. You bit your lip as you looked up, admiring the stars and the peacefulness of being outside, and you didn’t notice Aaron’s eyes on you at first. He watched your features closely, as if he was studying them carefully, trying to memorize them. Aaron sighed happily as he looked up at the sky, watching whatever it was you were staring at.

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” Aaron said, breaking the silence between you.

“Go for it,” you laughed softly, nodding your head. You couldn’t help but wonder what Aaron could possibly want to ask you.

“You always seem to come to these events alone,” he nodded, his profiling skills coming into play, “are these events just, not your partner’s thing?” He asked. 

“I don’t have a partner to bring with me,” You laughed softly, shaking your head. “I sort of wish I didn’t have to attend these things alone though, at least then I’d have someone to talk to for the evening.”

“Well…you can always come find me,” Aaron nodded. “I get the sense I’ll be attending these more frequently now.”

Your eyes met with Aaron’s, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip slightly as your gazes crossed paths. He gave you another rare smile, before shaking his head.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who makes me as nervous as you do. I’ve never had an issue talking to women before,” Aaron let out an awkward laugh.

You almost couldn’t believe what he had just said, you had half a mind to ask him to repeat himself. Aaron Hotchner was one of the most intimidatingly handsome men you’d ever met, and here he was, telling you that you made him nervous. You raised an eyebrow at him, speechless, and hoping he would elaborate further. 

“You know, I’ve thought you were beautiful since the day I first saw you,” Aaron nodded, his cheeks flushing to a soft pink colour. 

You couldn’t help but laugh awkwardly as Aaron complimented you, and for a moment, you swore he almost had a look of defeat on his face. You shook your head and smiled at him.

“You know, I’ve had a crush on you since the day I first saw you,” you replied.

Aaron took a step closer to you, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. You could feel your heart racing as his hands rested on your hips. You’d had the odd daydream about this happening to you before - you’d often daydreamed about Aaron, but rarely of him in a romantic light, normally your daydreams consisted of Aaron inviting you into his office for a “meeting”. The sweet, soft kiss he was giving you now was a welcome surprise. 

“Aaron,” you said softly as he pulled away, “you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting you to do that.” 

“Oh? Funny, I could say the same to you,” he grinned. 

“Do it again,” you challenged. 

As if on command, Aaron kissed you again, this time with passion and excitement behind it. You felt like a teenager having their first romantic experience - almost giddy with excitement as his tongue slid across your bottom lip gently. You had to admit, kissing Aaron was like nothing you’d ever experienced before. You couldn’t tell if it was the passion he had, the experience of his, or the fact that you’d longed for this moment, but Aaron was unmatched in terms of passion. You felt Aaron press his body against yours, your back gently pressing against the wall behind you. He gently caressed your sides, his hands running up and down on your waist and hips slowly, in almost a teasing fashion. 

Aaron pulled his lips apart from yours slightly, shrugging his suit jacket back off his shoulders in one quick motion. He tossed his jacket to the ground as his lips met yours again as if magnetized to one another. He put one hand into your long curled hair, perfectly styled for the event, although at this point, you couldn’t care less about how your hair looked. Aaron’s fingers gently tugged on your hair, pulling you in as close to him as physically possible. You could smell his Bleu de Chanel on him, the notes of his cologne giving you a rush as you realized just how close your bodies were to one another. The typically reserved, serious Aaron was a completely different person as he kissed you - he was passionate, romantic, intimate, and it only made you crave him more. You craved his touch, the taste of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the sound of his voice, the feel of his gaze on you. You didn’t just want Aaron, you needed him, at this point. 

As you heard the sound of voices calling Aaron’s name, you realized that some of the other guests had set out to look for him, wondering where he had disappeared to, as he was about to be called for an award of some sort. Aaron pulled his lips away agonizingly slow. He whispered softly to you and smiled. 

“We can continue this once I’m no longer needed inside,” his voice was almost seductive as he spoke. 

Aaron bent down to pick up his jacket, then straightened his clothes out before laughing softly. You noticed a smear of nude lipstick across his mouth and grinned. 

“Aaron, you know, that isn’t really your shade,” you laughed as you licked the tip of your thumb and wiped it off quickly. 

Aaron smirked at you before whispering again.

“Maybe we should test it out again, it might look better in the lighting at my apartment.” 

[najlepsiznajlepsich]

tolerate it.

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

warnings: cursing, age gap (9 years), alcohol consumption, angst, loosely inspired by tolerate it by taylor swift

author's note: this my first ever published fic!! woohoo!! star = time skip, sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language. (had this sitting in my drafts for a long long time)

☆

The bright yellow light shone right in your face. Regret was the only thing that you were feeling right now. Your brother just had to have a big party for his birthday, only inviting his friends and you, for some reason. 80% of these people were strangers to you. It’s like you were totally out of place, cursing out your brother in your head.

Until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around. “It is you!” the man in front of you said. Carlos. The guy you had a crush on years ago. You didn’t even recognize him at first. But you could recognize that Spanish accent in a crowd full of people. His voice was like a lollypop, reeling you in to hear all his sweet whispers.

He wasn’t the 17-year-old boy playing fifa with your brother. His tight shirt highlighted his muscles, his face was grazed by a light stubble, and his deep brown eyes had an emotion in them you haven’t seen before. Eyes, in which you wanted to get lost, scanned your silhouette. He threw his arm around your shoulders. His touch was a burning sensation dancing on your skin.

You also weren’t the 8-year-old girl with pigtails who sat around just to spend time with them. “Well, you’ve changed since I last saw you.” "Yeah, Carlos, that was ten years ago.” He laughed, and you swore the same butterflies flew around your stomach, just as when you were a kid. Fuck. He still had the same hold on you.

Still the same fool after all.

☆

You opened the front door to your parents’ house. His laugh echoed in the hallway as you took off your shoes. Carlos is here. “Y/N!! HELP ME!! He is cheating!” your brother shouted as you walked into the living room.

“I'm not cheating!!” Carlos mumbled, and your brother, who can’t handle losing, restarted the game. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” Carlos exclaimed. "MAYBE, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE CHEATING!” your brother yelled back, an evident smile on his lips. A throaty groan escaped the lips of both guys.

Their friendship was something you saw bloom into a close bond. Their arguments sounded just like the ones they had 10 years ago. And if it was a different day, maybe you would stay there and just watch them. However, your tired legs carried you to the kitchen.

From the fridge, you pulled out a bowl of fruits you cut up this morning. The laughter of those two man-children was still heard. One of them bringing nostalgia and some old, forgotten feelings back.You really haven't changed.

“Hey? You okay?” a small voice next to you asked. You didn’t even notice when he entered the kitchen. Shit, how and why did you zone out? Could’ve avoided him. Well, not him, but this conversation.

"Yeah, Carlos,” you mumbled out. He opened a drawer, looking for something. He grabbed a pack of popcorn, threw it into the microwave, and leant onto the cold kitchen counter behind him.

A buttery smell hits your nose pretty quickly. Not sure if it was because of that, but the awkward atmosphere shifted into a comfortable one.

It reminded you of the moments from your childhood and his teenage years. The raindrops bounced against the glass of the window. It calmed you down until you heard the microwave beeping and got a mini-heart attack.

“Can I have some?” you asked shyly. He didn’t answer; he just pulled out a second, smaller bowl. “Wanna go out golfing tomorrow?” he asked you as he handed you the popcorn, his voice barely above a whisper. You looked up at him from your bowl of fruits. “Just me, you, and your brother." “All right,” you smiled.

“Want some?” You pushed your bowl with the cut-up fruit in front of him. He grabbed a piece of an apple. “Delicious,” he moaned as he placed it on his tongue. You giggled at his antics. He really hasn’t changed. “From your garden, right? I remember this taste.” "How?" "Too good to forget."

He smiled and picked up the big bowl of popcorn. “Are you sure you wanna go golfing? It’s weird you’re not complaining about it-“  “Go away before I change my mind.”

☆

You leaned into him as you laughed at his joke. His smell was intoxicating, you wish you could smell it all throughout your life. He placed his head on yours, and you swore you were in a dream.

“Carlos,” you spoke quietly, “you remember when we went golfing?” He smiled at the nice memory. If only you knew he remembered everything. Your hairstyle that you tried on for the first time, your outfit, the way your eyes sparkled when he said your swing was nice, the pinkish-red sunset you had to take pictures of.

He wished you’d take pictures of him, you didn’t. But, shh, you were taking pictures of him. Just in secret and for yourself.

“Yeah, of course I do. Our first date.” “Well-“ “Yeah, I lied to you, your brother was never invited.” You smiled. That was not new to you. Your brother was such a gossip. He could never keep a secret. This just confirmed it. “So you planned that! Carlos!” He just giggled, light blush covering his cheeks.

The way you said his name made him feel like he was the only person on earth. He kind of was in your eyes. “Now look at us, babe,” he said, and you sat up to take a sip of your coffee. This was your new favorite activity. Lying down on the outside couch, drinking coffee, and talking to your boyfriend, Carlos.

“Half a year went by fast, didn’t it?” you asked as you handed Carlos his mug. “Because we’re together,” he said, smiling at you. The same butterflies you had ten years ago and also six months ago appeared in your stomach.

“I love the coffee you make, it’s laced with something, isn’t it?” You smiled at his small remark. “Only with love.” “You’re so cheesy. I love you so much."

☆

“We can split it.” Carlos grinned as he walked into the closet. There you were, sitting on the floor with suitcases all around you. “I don’t want to mess up your clothes,” you whined out, and Carlos sat down next to you. “You won’t mess up anything, just let me help you unpack,” he said with a smile.

You started pulling out clothes, and you both put them in the drawers or hung them up. Carlos had a bit of a judging era and gave opinions on nearly everything. His meanness went away when you picked up a white tennis skirt, the one you wore to your golf "date."

“Why haven’t you worn it since?” he asked, his voice laced with confusion. “I don’t know,” you answered and folded it up. His gasp made you look at him. “This is the dress you wore that time we went to try out the new ice cream shop!” He smiled at you and put the dress on a hanger.

“You remember that kind of stuff?” you asked him genuinely. Who would’ve thought he was this attentive? “Of course I do,” he placed a kiss on the top of your head. After spending at least three hours lost in the sea of clothes, you walked out of the closet.

Ecstatic—that’s what you both were. Finally moved in together. You already put some of your decorations in his living room. But the hallway was too empty for your liking.

“Carlos, can I hang some artwork here?” you called out to him in the kitchen. His head peeked around the corner. “Sure, let me help you.” He disappeared and then quickly reappeared with the tools needed for it. He hung up all of them.

“Thanks for letting me hang these up here.” You thanked him, your eyes looking to the ground. With his finger, he made you look up at him. “Please, it’s the bare minimum,” he whispered. That was definitely not that. He pulled you into a quick hug, then turned around to look at the art.

“They are really pretty. Did you paint these?” he asked he asked shyly. “Yeah, some of them last year and some a long time ago,” you laughed. “I like that one the most,” he giggles, and points to the one that was a portrait of him.

“Okay, that was painted last week,” you rolled your eyes. “You’re so in love with me, it’s funny." “Don’t act like you don’t love me too, Sainz.”

☆

“YOU’VE DONE IT!” you yelled as you jumped into his arms. Your boyfriend just won a grand prix. A GRAND PRIX. At that moment, you were proud of him like you weren’t of anyone before. This was the first grand prix you attended, and he already made it so memorable.

“It was because of you! You’re my good luck charm!” he laughed. He smelled like champagne, sweat, and happiness, if that even made sense. He held you close, and in that moment, you felt you two were the only people on earth.

“My man just won a grand prix,” you whispered into his ear, calming him down a bit. You wish you could be stuck in this moment forever. And while celebrations were fun, coming home was something you both were looking forward to.

Carlos opened the front door to your house, your now colorful hallway greeting you both. He was happy you came with him, but if you didn’t, he knew you would be eagerly waiting for him at the end of the hallway. You left your suitcases there and just went to the kitchen to cook up something quick.

Like the gentleman that he is, he helped you cut up everything. Your laughs echoed through the whole house. You couldn’t stop laughing even when you were eating, his effect on you was noticeable. Carlos washed and dried the dishes with you. Ugh, such a gentleman.

You tiptoed to your shared bedroom, heading straight towards your bathroom. “Do you want a facemask too?” you asked as you felt his body behind you. He became shy all of a sudden. “I mean, if you want to and have one for me,” he stuttered over his words, and you laughed. You couldn’t comprehend how he was so shy at times.

The cold feeling from the mask hit your face. He put on his mask too, and smiled at you. “You’re so cute.” He loved watching you do your skincare routine, he was just so mesmerized by you. He sat on the edge of the bath, his eyes never leaving your face.

He was studying everything and making a mental note to himself about which stuff is for your eyes, lashes, lips... He knew you like his favorite song. His mask was pulled off way later than yours, and he headed straight towards your comfortable bed.

You ran after him almost instantly and plopped right next to him. Your breathing synced up, and you could feel a smile forming on your lips. You tilted your head to look at Carlos, only to find him already looking at you. Only smiles were exchanged; no words were needed.

You loved this. Comfortable silence with him. You never felt so relaxed when you didn’t know what to say. He threw a blanket over you two, and you wriggled out of it.

"Carlos, we have to change into pajamas." “No, we don’t have to, baby. Come cuddle.” He stretched his arms out towards you. Pulled under the covers again. “You’re lucky I love you,” you muttered out under your breath, and he giggled.

You both got comfortable pretty quickly. Now, no one could pull you out of here. “Good night, princess.” His lips tickled your forehead as they placed a quick kiss.

☆

You heard the door opening. He was finally home. You ran down the hall and threw yourself around him. A little peck from you landed on his cheek, and he returned it. There was sadness on his face. Something you haven’t seen in a long time.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as you led him to the table where he had dinner waiting for him. His favorite food. “You ate already?” he asked when he noticed the absence of a second plate. Changing the conversation. Wow. So original.

“Carlos. Answer my question.” “I finished out of points.” He grunted as he sat down. You let out a heavy exhale and sat across from him. It could’ve been worse. “Don’t beat yourself up because of that. You’re a great driver; it just wasn’t your weekend.”

"Well, it hasn’t been my weekend for a long fuckin’ time.” He mumbled under his breath. Sometimes comforting him was like consoling a child. You didn’t know what to say and just watched him eat from his plate.

You hated when he was like this, because there was nothing you could do about it. Either he’d get over it or just be quiet for the whole day. You stood up from the table and walked slowly towards the kitchen.

You knew this wasn’t your fault, but it felt like that. You sat on the counter, looking out of the window. His footsteps echoed through the room. He carefully placed the plate in the sink, and his hands gripped your hips.

“Y/N,” he started his sentence, “I’m sorry.” You lifted your gaze to look at him. Your eyes were glossy, and that’s when he knew he fucked up. “It’s really not your fault, I shouldn’t be acting like this.” “It’s fine.” “No. It’s not.”

You knew it wasn’t fine. It tore your heart apart to see him in a shitty mood. He brought you into a hug. His cologne enveloped you, and you buried your head into his chest. His fingers played with your hair as he stroked your head.

A tear fell onto his hand when he pinched your cheek. You wanted to speak up, but you couldn’t find your voice. Carlos was one of the people you wanted only the best for.

“Please,“ you finally spoke up, “just talk to me when you’re feeling bad. I swear it’s better for us both.” He exhaled and looked down at you. “You should’ve told me sooner,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that,” you thought as you wriggled out of his hug.

☆

“Come on! We’re gonna be late!” he yelled out as you walked out of the bedroom. His eyes scanned your body. “Oh. We can stay home if you want,” he changed his mind pretty quickly. You had to pull out the new dark red dress for this occasion.

Today was your 3rd anniversary, and Carlos, the great boyfriend that he is, booked a table in the most expensive restaurant. You ushered him into the car. You weren’t running late, but you were on the edge of that.

Quiet, calming music from the radio filled your ears. The ride wasn’t supposed to be long. It felt like that, though. You were looking out of the window, your eyes scanning the new buildings you hadn’t seen yet. Carlos’ hand landed on your thigh. That gave you a weird feeling of comfort.

But it didn’t last long as he parked his car. He got out of the car and then ran around it to open your door. You blushed at the act and placed your hand in his. “Let’s go, ma’am,” he said, and you laughed. You got through the reception, and the waiter took you to your table.

Carlos really took his time with this. The table overlooked the city of Madrid, with all of the city lights shining brightly. It looked beautiful. He pulled out your chair for you, and you giggled. “So what can I get for you?” the waiter asked as you both sat down.

“Just a non-alcoholic beer for me and a bottle of wine for my lady. What kind do you want?” he asked. He knew which one you always ordered, but he didn’t want to risk getting something you wouldn’t drink.

“Red wine. Please.” You smiled and opened the menu. “Is that all for the drinks?” he asked, and you both nodded quietly. “I’ll let you pick out the food,” he turned around on his heel, strutting towards the bar.

Carlos smiled at you. His smile was something that warmed your heart every time. He grabbed your hand and drew small shapes with his thumb. He always knew how to comfort and calm you. You broke eye contact with him and admired the city, while he admired you.

The waiter came with the drinks and took your order. You ordered something simple, like always. You started eating together, and the conversation topics floated effortlessly. He was in the middle of telling a story about the crazy stuff he did with his cousins when his phone rang.

‘boss’ was the name that popped up on the screen, and you chuckled. “Hold on, I have to take this,” he said, walking away from the table. You continued eating.

Something was off when 20 minutes flew by and he wasn’t back. Finished the food. Still nothing. Drank enough wine. Nothing. Nearly an hour has passed, and still nothing?

You stood up and went towards the bar. “Hey, do you by any chance know where my boyfriend is?” you asked, completely desperate for an explanation. “He paid your bill and left,” the waiter behind the bar said with a calm expression.

You deeply exhaled and walked back to the table to grab your purse. You stormed out of there. What the fuck? Why didn’t he tell you anything? You were sitting there like a dumbass for a long time, waiting for him.

You called yourself an uber, and while the drive was awkward, it was definitely better than sitting in a car with Carlos. “Got stood up?” the man asked, his gaze focused on you in the mirror. “No, it’s complicated.”

“Relationships are complicated,” he laughed. At least that made you feel a bit better. Again, it wasn’t a long drive, so you were home relatively quickly. You walked into the hallway, which felt a bit more colorless than before. Your shoes came off quickly, and you threw yourself on the couch.

Defeated—that’s how you felt. A tear slid down your cheek.

You woke up in your bed next to Carlos. He probably carried you upstairs. He looked peaceful. So pretty. You hated that you loved him so much. How you could forgive him anything.

Your brain was fighting itself, you didn’t know what to do. Carlos was everything to you. First crush, love, relationship. But this really hurt. It was like he didn’t even care about anything. Your bed feels as hard as a rock now.

You couldn’t fall back asleep. Turning, flipping your pillow and blanket. You tried everything. Still up. Your brain was filled with Carlos. Did he not realize how much this would’ve hurt you? Work is important; you get that. But you couldn’t even get a heads-up that he was leaving?

You were mad and sad, and the tears you pushed back that evening came out. And they weren’t stopping anytime soon. Everything dawned on you all of a sudden. You grabbed onto your blanket and wiped your tears into it.

And you were 12 again, crying over a boy who didn’t like you back. Your heart shattered into a million tiny pieces, and you wished the man who was lying behind you would pick them up and glue them together. You fought the cry, which nearly came out of your throat, and reached for your phone to look at the time.

The phone brightened up the whole room, and you groaned. 4:55. Too soon. Apparently you weren’t the only one who was surprised by the brightness because the man next to you turned to face you. He was still sleeping. Thank god.

You didn’t want to deal with him this soon. You put the phone back on the nightstand and snuggled up under the covers. You felt his arms wrap around your waist. Somehow, his touch lost that warmth, and you felt goosebumps on your whole body.

You didn’t know what to do. Another round of tears rolled down your cheeks, and you never felt weaker. He had an effect on you. It used to be a positive one, but now you weren’t sure if you could continue with this.

☆

Where was he? The question brewing in your mind. Yeah, he was supposed to be working. But it’s 10 p.m. Your stress levels were increasing by every second. You were starting to worry about him. The dinner on the counter had already been reheated 15 times by now.

You sat down on the cold floor, staring at the ceiling. Your fingers fidgeted with the string of your sweatpants. Anything could’ve happened to Carlos, and you didn’t know. Your worries were cut short as a knock landed on the front door.

You shot up from the spot you sat on and ran towards the door. Your keys jingled as you tried to unlock the door as fast as possible. The handle probably left a dent in the wall from how fast you opened it.

And there he was. Carlos, with Charles by his side. You threw yourself into his arms, and he hugged you back. "Okay, Carlos, you’re home now. See you tomorrow!” Charles said carefully and slowly. He turned on his heel and walked rapidly back to his car.

As the front door closed, Carlos still didn’t let go of you. One close look at him and you could tell he’s drunk. You brought him to the kitchen and sat him down on a bar stool. “Come on. Eat. Or you’ll have a massive hangover.”

He ate slowly, talking about his evening. You stood on the other end of the counter, looking at him like you were a disappointed mother. Arms crossed on your chest gave you a feeling of security and comfort. Something you needed right now. As he was finishing his food, you decided to speak up about something you both dreaded to mention.

“Why did you go to the bar? You told me you were gonna come home immediately after work.” He looked up at you, like he was a deer in the headlights. “I just wanted to go out with the guys after a tough day,” he said, like he couldn’t figure out why you were mad. You just exhaled, not saying anything. But your stare spoke a million words.

“Don’t tell me you’re mad because of that.” He spoke as he handed you an empty plate. You bit into your bottom lip and turned away from him—towards the sink. You turned on the water, so it flowed slowly as you washed his and your plate, which had been in the sink for the past three hours. Carlos scoffed.

“You got so boring. What happened to you?” You ignored his drunken indiscretions and continued scrubbing the plates. He sat in silence, at least until the water flow stopped. You grabbed the closest dishcloth, not wanting to turn to see him. There were tears in your eyes, threatening to spill out of your eyes at any second now.

“You know, Y/N,” he started, “you changed. You aren’t yourself. You used to be so fun.” You swore you felt like someone had stabbed you right there, and you were starting to bleed out. Maybe past or sober Carlos would help you, but this one just wanted to put another knife through you.

“It’s like you don’t even care about my feelings, I never have fun anymore.” And there it was. The tears spilled from your eyes like a waterfall, and if your heart didn’t break before, now it definitely has.

“I can’t even have fun anymore.” He mumbled and walked out of the kitchen. A sob escaped your lips, and the salty drops covered the newly polished plates. You kept polishing them over and over again, breaking down even more in the process. That job was like a never-ending one.

His hurtful words were on repeat in your head, and you swore your knees started giving out. More sobs filled the room, but you stopped crying once you heard faint footsteps.

“Are you coming to bed or are you gonna keep polishing those dumb plates?” His tone was harsh, something you had never heard before. “I don’t want to sleep next to you tonight.” You whispered into the air.

“Night.” He grunted and turned off the lights in the hallway. You finally put the plates in their place.

“Second time you’re falling asleep on the couch.” You thought to yourself as you sat down. You felt like crying again, but there was nothing that could come out.

You reached for the blanket on the other end of the couch and found a comfortable position. What else could you think of other than your boyfriend?

You knew he was drunk. He probably didn’t mean it. You’ve done some shitty things while you were drunk too. But what if it wasn’t just the alcohol in his blood? Were you boring? Did you change? Were you good enough for Carlos?

A singular tear fell on the pillow. You wish you could just fall asleep and not think about Carlos for once. It helped you fall asleep most of the time, but it was also your greatest enemy in times like these. You hugged yourself, but nothing could generate the warmth Carlos hugged you with. A sob left your mouth.

“Can’t fall asleep. Please, Y/N,” Carlos’ voice scared you. “Please,” he begged again, and you stood up. He let you lead the way, slowly walking behind you. You threw yourself into your shared bed.

He just sat down on the edge. You looked at him for a second before turning on your other side and falling asleep. Carlos just sat there, looking out of the window. He finally laid down next to you, falling asleep nearly immediately with the familiar body right next to him.

☆

Family dinners. Something you both hated and looked forward to. Your mom handed you plates, then just ushered you out of the kitchen to the backyard. Your cousins and you neatly set the table, talking about stuff that has happened since you last saw each other.

You felt like a kid again. Everyone finally sat down and started eating. You felt terrible, and your face probably showed it because your aunt asked the thing you did not want to hear.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” she asked genuinely, and you just shrugged. You were defeated. You always attended his family events, and he couldn’t even come on time to yours? You swallowed a lump in your throat.

“Probably at work,” you said, not even looking up from your plate. “Huh. Asshole.” Hearing your brother mutter out that about his friend shocked you. Your mom nodded, and your dad just sighed.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table. You preferred this over them calling you out. But it’s a family dinner, after all. “I know you love him, Y/N, but that age gap isn’t great,” your cousin proclaimed.

“He isn’t treating you right; younger you would never take that disrespect.” Another cousin agreed with her. You finally looked up to see the whole table staring at you. You didn’t know what to say. Maybe because they were right.

“You could’ve spent your twenties partying, and you’re with that guy.” Your dad spoke up. And you knew it was bad when he commented on it.

You exhaled deeply, opened your mouth to talk, and your brother already had his head in his hands. It’s like he was getting ready for whatever you were going to say.

“You love to just hate on everyone and everything, right?” Every pair of eyes looked away from you. Your phone vibrated in your lap, and you grabbed it. “I’m in front of the house.” You stood up from the table and became the center of attention once again.

“You don’t know him that well! You just love to judge everyone!” you shouted as you slid-opened the glass door. “I know him too well!” your brother yelled out. You slammed the door and ran up to your room.

“Give me 5 mins” you typed out with tears in your eyes. For those 5 minutes, you just sat on your old bed, trying to calm yourself down. Your feet swiftly carried you downstairs.

As you were about to make a turn for the door, you saw Carlos sitting in the backyard, laughing with everybody. You walked outside, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I let your boyfriend in, if you don’t mind,” your brother joked, making everyone laugh. Are you going absolutely fucking crazy? Just a few minutes ago, they hated him, and now they are making it seem like you had a problem with him.

You swore you were going to go insane, but you just sat down, smiling at your family. It’s fine. Everything will be fine. But as the night went on, it didn’t feel like that.

He was ignoring every ounce of affection you gave him. Acting like you didn’t exist. And now you regret defending him so much.

☆

You were in the middle of the unspoken routine you and Carlos adapted during the last few days after a big fight. You cleaned up after dinner while he read emails and work-related stuff.

He fell asleep because his soft snores filled the entirety of the living room. You grinned, and your heart broke at a thought that popped up in your head. You sat on the bar stool, and it’s like he felt like you were watching him because he woke up and opened up his book, continuing with his work.

Observing him was more fun when you two weren’t mad at each other. That isn’t the case today. He 'studied‘ the whole book, and you just sat there until he closed and placed it on the coffee table. You were internally fighting yourself.

Was this a good idea? Is it going to be absolutely worthless? You couldn’t even predict how you were going to act; how could you know how he was going to react? A little voice spoke quietly in your head. It’s going to be better. Let it go. You were walking towards the hallway when his deep voice surprised you.

“Are you not even going to say anything?” All the pent-up anger made its way to the surface. “You should say something!” you spat out, putting the emphasis on you. He looked down.

“Are you really making yourself the victim?” you continued. “What are you talking about?” he asked, not realizing you were one dumb question away from breaking down.

“YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS RUINING THIS,” you strutted towards the couch, “and you’re not even realizing it.” He stayed quiet, waiting for whatever you had to say next.

“You used to actually care about me.” You shed a tear, and he stood up to hug you. But you just pushed him away. “Don’t pull that shit, Carlos.” He exhaled and sat down.

“I gave you everything!” you shouted. “All my attention, all my time, all my energy—I gave it all! And you did nothing with it!” You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Something in them screamed: When will she finally calm down? And that angered you even more.

“I don’t know shit about your life anymore! You don’t tell me anything! I have no idea how Ferrari is doing or what happened in the paddock. If you can’t even share the most basic information, how the fuck can we function as a couple?” You asked a rhetorical question. You didn’t want him to answer.

“It’s like my love and me are just extra weight on your shoulders. Is my affection annoying? Huh?” He looked up at you. You loved his deep brown eyes, but now you they were just making you angrier.

“I never knew you felt like that." “Yeah, of course you never know. It’s like you’re blind. Or maybe you just don’t fucking care! So stop acting like you do.” His clueless eyes scanned your hurt face. Maybe he actually didn’t know. But it’s not like that was an excuse.

He deeply hurt you, and there was no apologizing he could do; that was enough. “Please let me make it up to you,” he pleaded, his voice cracking nearly every word. “I swear, I didn’t mean it.” You burst into tears.

“No. Just let me end this.” Words rushed out of your mouth before you broke into another sob. A tear rolled down his cheek. This just broke your heart more. “You wouldn’t...” he said quietly.

“I would,” you looked him in the eyes, “and that’s what I’m doing right now.” “We’re done?” he asked like a little boy. “Yeah, Carlos. I’ll pick up my stuff later." You said as you walked through the hallway. The only thing you picked up were your keys.

You smashed-closed the front door and sat in your car. You couldn’t bring yourself to drive away. Leaving all the memories behind you. Most importantly, the 7-year-old you who would swear he was your soulmate. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

☆

[highvern]

Track 1: All of the Girls You Loved Before - Taylor Swift

“All of the girls you loved before, Made you the one I've fallen for // Every dead-end street, Led you straight to me”

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Fem!Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: established relationship, past jealousy

Length: ~500

Note: First part of the Mixtape Series! Wooooo! Very fun to write and looking forward to everyone's reactions to the other parts of the series. Stay tuned!

Like, comment, reblog, enjoy!

Mixtape Series: Me & You Masterlist

main masterlist

This blog is intended for 18+ only! MDNI or you'll be blocked!

“I’m fine, Cheol.”

Seungcheol taking you out to celebrate your promotion quickly devolved into an awkward dance around the elephant in the room.

One of his exes sat across the room, dining with a man around her age. You recognized her from pictures before you and Seungcheol started dating, when you were barely even friends and neither of you knew how perfect you were for one another.

“Are you sure?”  Seungcheol asks for the nth time, guilt trickling across his face. 

“Of course I’m sure.” You confirm, squeezing his hand wrapped in yours across the table.

Seungcheol heaves a heavy sigh. The last thing he ever wanted was for you to think he would care about someone else. You knew it wholeheartedly. Seungcheol didn’t see anyone beyond you since your first date years ago.

The number of women he’d dated or hooked up with in some capacity had been a tough pill to swallow at the beginning of your relationship. A run in with one of them years ago was the catalyst for the first fight of your budding relationship, leaving you both in limbo at what to do. You hated feeling jealous and insecure because of it but Seungcheol assured you there were no lingering feelings; and he backed his words up with actions that proved he was sincere.

Eventually, you were something close to thankful for your boyfriend’s past partners. Thankful they taught Seungcheol to navigate love; the good, the bad, and the ugly. For helping him mature into the man sat in front of you. Seungcheol, who from day one let you know where you stood, who didn't leave you questioning his intentions, and enthusiastically pursued you in a way you had never experienced before. The one who doesn't take you for granted and still manages to sweep you off your feet after years together. The man who argues with you, not against you when you disagree; constantly reminding you that you're a team and you'll figure it out.

Seungcheol, who lets you baby him as much as you want because his past relationships didn't give him the space to rely on his partner. Who shares his fears and doubts even if it makes him feel vulnerable, knowing you're there for him through everything and he no longer needs to shoulder his burdens alone.

All of the events of his past led you both here. Engaged, happier than you've ever been, with a man who couldn't been more perfect for you.

“If you want to leave we can. I’ll find somewher–” 

“Baby, if I got upset every time we ran into someone you dated, we’d never leave the house.” You joke.

“I didn’t date that many girls!” Seungcheol pouts in a way that’s more than ridiculous for a man his age.

“It doesn’t matter. Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

Leaning forward, you wait until Seungcheol comes close enough to whisper, “Because they led you to me. And I’m the only one you want, right?”

“Of course.” Seungcheol whispers back.

“So when I say I don’t care, I really don’t.”

-

Taglist: @tomodachiii

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[auras-moonstone]

mad woman — ethan landry (part three)

word count: 1,414

pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!reader

based on: mad woman by taylor swift

summary: y/n and ethan have some tension between them on the night of the party

previous part ; next part

Y/N WATCHED AS TARA DRANK HER FIFTH CUP OF VODKA with fire in her eyes, imagining the way blood would soak her clothes once she was finally able to pierce her skin with a knife. She couldn’t bear to see Tara having fun, as if she hadn’t killed a part of her soul a year ago.

“Y/N/N? Please control yourself” Ethan, who was standing next to her, warned.

The girl shook her head “Sorry. I am not being subtle at all, aren’t I?” she laughed.

“Not really, but don’t worry. Everyone is way too drunk or busy dancing to notice your glares” he assured her.

“Still, I should be more careful. I just… sometimes it becomes too much, you know?”

Ethan nodded “I know, if it’s hard for me that I wasn’t even that close to him… I can’t imagine what it must be like for you. But we are almost there, hold on. It will be worth it”

“Yes, you are right” she nodded in agreement. “I’ll go get a drink”

The girl walked towards the table where the alcohol was placed and poured a cherry drink on her cup.

“Hi” said a deep voice from behind her. She turned around to find a tall muscular boy looking at her devil costume shamelessly.

“Hi. Are you done checking me out?” she asked annoyed. Frat boys weren’t her type at all.

“Sorry, you look really hot” he told her.

“Thanks” she replied dryly, ready to walk away, when he grabbed her elbow “Wait, dance with me”.

“No, thank you” she declined politely.

“Come on, don’t be boring” he insisted.

Fuck being polite, she though in that moment “I’m not boring I just think you are a douche. And I don’t dance with douches”

“Whatever, bitch” he muttered, he pushed past her so harshly that the contents of her cup ended up on her dress.

“Y/N/N! Shit, are you okay?” Anika asked worried.

“Hey, dickhead, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Mindy glared daggers at the frat boy, who payed no attention as he walked away.

“Don’t worry, it’s just alcohol, I’ll live” she reassured the couple.

“You are way too nice, I would have punch him” Mindy said.

Y/N laughed “At least I smell like cherries”.

“Oh no” Anika said “Creep number two of the night”

Y/N and Mindy looked at where the girl’s eyes were set and scrunched their noses. A guy, who appeared to be way too old to be at a college party, was leading Tara somewhere. The three girls walked towards them, trying to get Tara away from him, but she was being stubborn.

“I’m gonna get Chad” Y/N whispered to Mindy, who nodded. She found said boy on a corner, talking to Ethan. “Big guy, Tara needs you. They are right there”.

“Shit, thanks Y/N/N” Chad said, before leaving her and Ethan alone.

“What’s wrong?” the boy dressed as a knight asked.

“Frankie wants to lead Tara to his room” she answered disgusted. “I hate parties” she groaned. The wet clothes were clinging to her body and her skin was starting to feel sticky.

“What happened to you?” he questioned noticing how uncomfortable she looked.

“Some frat boy who can’t take no for an answer made me spill my drink on myself”

His eyes darkened, and the girl felt her body grow warm at the action “What’s his name? I can take care of him” he offered.

Y/N laughed “That’s sweet, but don’t waste your energy”.

“Do you want me to take you home? I’m bored anyways, and I think my dad already did it. So, we should be able to leave” Ethan said.

“Yes, please. One more minute in here and I might kill someone” she said as he grabbed her hand and led her out of the house. They found the rest of the group already there, plus Sam.

“Where were you?” Chad smirked at them.

“Sam what are you doing here?” Y/N asked, ignoring Chad’s question.

“She’s stalking me” Tara spat angrily.

The sisters continued to argue as the group trailed behind them, in awkward silence. And suddenly, a girl passing by threw her drink at Sam while she screamed “Murderer!”. Y/N watched in shock as a fight unfolded in front of her.

“Quinn made that rumour viral” Ethan whispered in her ear.

“Brilliant” she muttered “I love your sister, she’s great”.

“But I’m your favourite, right?” he asked.

“Oh, they are walking away. We better catch up” she said with a playful smile.

“Mean” he laughed pinching her hip.

She pushed him away as she let out a laugh “Yes, Ethan, you are my favourite sibling” she admitted. “Now, let’s go, pretty boy”.

Y/N AND ETHAN’S EYES MET AS SAM RECEIVED THE NEWS. The fear on the sisters’ voices was practically music to their ears, and it took everything in them not to smile with satisfaction.

“I’m gonna go shower. Maybe the four of you should stay here tonight, just in case” Y/N said to Chad, Mindy, Anika and Ethan once the sisters left.

“Yeah, that’s for the better” Quinn agreed.

“Sure. Ethan and I can sleep on the couch” Chad offered.

“You two can sleep at Sam’s” Quinn told the couple, who nodded.

“Y/N/N do you have extra blankets for us?” Chad asked.

“Yeah, come with me” she said, motioning him to follow her upstairs.

“Ethan go grab them” the boy said, pushing his friend towards her. Y/N frowned at that, but decided to say nothing.

“Sorry about that. Chad is pushing me to ‘make some moves’ on girls” he explained a bit embarrassed once they reached her room.

Y/N smiled, thinking he looked really adorable when he was nervous “Make some moves, huh? Are you doing well?”

Ethan snorted “One girl looked at me in disgust at the party, so no. Although, I don’t blame her. Chad asked her if she thought I was a snack, I think her reaction was valid”

Y/N laughed “Oh my god. Isn’t he supposed to help you? There is very few things more embarrassing and uncomfortable for a girl than being asked by a guy if they think their friend is cute”.

“I know” he sighed

“Sorry about the girl, though” she said, although she didn’t really mean it. Something about the idea of him flirting with other girls made her stomach feel weird.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t interested anyway” he brushed it off. The honesty in his statement made a wave of relief rush through her body.

“Here you go, snack” she joked as she handed him the blankets. Their fingers brushed and they both felt everything stop.

“You smell like cherries” he whispered, catching her eyes. The room felt warmer, as did their bodies.

“It’s the drink I spilled on me” she whispered back.

“I didn’t get to tell you but you look gorgeous in your costume” he said eyeing her lips.

“And you look really good in that shirt” she complimented. “You uh, have great arms”.

He smiled, the compliment made him feel more confident “Can I kiss you, Y/N/N?” Ethan asked. She looked at his big doe eyes and swore she could’ve let him do anything he wanted to her. “Y/N?” he asked. Maybe he read the whole situation wrong, maybe she wasn’t attracted to him. Or maybe she did, but it was too soon for her.

But she was quick to erase all the doubts from his mind. “I think I might die if you don’t kiss me right now, Ethan” she said taking one step closer, so that their chests touched. She had to tilt her head up and he had to look down. He grabbed the back of her neck, ready to push his lips against hers when the door opened.

“Holy shit!” the voice of Quinn made them pull apart. She was smiling widely and her eyes almost bulged out of her face. “Fuck, I can’t believe I cockblocked you!”

“What? No! We- no- I-“ Y/N sudden lost her English knowledge.

“You broke her” Ethan laughed, looking at her sister. They both laugh, and Y/N elbowed him in the stomach. “I was joking! Man, you are strong”.

“Anyways, love birds. It’s done” she informed. They both understood instantly what she meant—Bailey attacked the sisters successfully. “I’ll leave now, you can pick up from where you left”.

“I’m going to take a shower” Y/N said as soon as Quinn left. The moment was ruined, anyways.

“Is that an invitation?” Ethan smirked.

“Yes, an invitation to get out of my room” she smiled.

“Got it. I was pushing my luck” he said, walking to the door.

“By the way, you owe me a kiss, pretty boy” she winked as she entered her bathroom. Ethan smiled like a lovesick puppy as he closed the bedroom door behind him, still feeling the warmth of Y/N’s body and the softness of her skin against the palm of his hand.

[michwritesstuff]

Enchanting to Meet You (Bridgerton: Benedict Bridgerton)

pairing: female reader (she/her) x Benedict Bridgerton

summary: In your debut social season in London, you can’t help but be absolutely enchanted by a certain gentleman. You wouldn’t be lucky enough to find a true love match after one ball…right?

notes/warnings: no warnings, just all fluff! does this song not scream dancing with benedict for the first time! stolen glances and witty remarks! like hello?

word count: 1.3k

The carriage was moving impossibly slow.

Trees passing by at a snail’s pace as you watched the light of your aunt’s estate grow closer in the distance.

The desire to run to your bedroom and bathe in the excitement of the night intensifying as each moment passed.

“A lovely opening ball, was it not y/n?”

You snapped your head from leaning on the window to where your mother and aunt sat across from you.

“Yes, quite lovely indeed,” you remarked.

You had grown up coming to your aunt’s estate in the summers.

As a child, you remembered begging your mother to take you to London for the social season as your older sisters were being presented to society.

You wondered if your sisters ever had a night as magical as you did tonight.

And it was all because of him.

Benedict Bridgerton.

You liked the name Benedict; you had never met another one before.

The blood rushed to your cheeks, so scarlet, at the memory of dancing the night away with him.

“Oh y/n, you are looking quite ill. You have had such a busy night; it would do you well to get a good night’s sleep and think on the many gentlemen who will call on you tomorrow.”

You could not help but lay awake that night, the moonlight shining through the curtains, as you thought about the entire night. Replaying it in its entirety, from start to finish.

The conversation was effortless, no lulls or awkward pauses you experienced with others.

What would you do if he had not called upon you the next day?

Would you be forced to entertain the other prospects in hope of waiting and biding time for his affection.

Was there someone else in the picture?

Why had you not thought to ask his intentions?

Was the chemistry enough to guide you through this season?

Your endless thoughts were torture.

Finally dozing off, the moonlight soon disappeared as the darkness of the night sky was replaced by the bright and glistening rays of the sun.

A subtle knock came from the other side of the door, your lady maid calling out.

“Miss Y/N, we must start getting you ready.”

With one final powdering of your nose, you made your way towards the parlor room.

As you walked in you spotted Benedict sitting on the settee near the large portrait of your family.

He stood up immediately once he noticed your presence.

As your eyes met the memories of the night before came flooding back.

******

You stood with your mother and aunt at the edge of the dance floor, running your hands down your dress, doing your best to smooth out the ruffles from where you sat.

“Miss y/l/n, what a pleasure to have you join us this season.”

“Thank you, Lady Danbury,” you smiled politely.

“Let us hope that she is as lucky as her sisters in finding a great companion,” your mother said.

You nodded your head as you took in the scene around you.

Girls and their mamas circling like vultures, while still maintaining the perfect amount of poise to be considered elegant and respectful.

It was much more overwhelming than you were anticipating.

 The magic of what you imagined as a little girl was slowly fading the more you felt the pressure of finding a husband by the end of the season.

If forcing laughter and faking smiles is what it took to get through the night, then so be it.

You had evaded a few gentlemen by writing down the name of poets on your dance card, smiling shyly as you quickly waved the ‘full’ dance card as a polite dismissal.

It was a pity really, you loved to dance.

The small talk and inquiring about your pianoforte on the other hand was quite detestable.

You had just gotten done pity laughing at Lord Hardy’s ‘humble’ comment about his many properties, when above his shoulder your eyes met a couple of cool blue ones across the room.

Your insincerity dropped, curiosity taking over as you excused yourself from Lord Hardy.

The man had done the same with whatever company had previously occupied him, gently patting the man in front of him as he maneuvered his way towards you.

As he approached you bowed your head slightly.

“Miss--?”

“Y/N”

“Miss Y/N, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“I suppose we have not. I have just come to London for the season.”

“Ah, the marriage mart? Believer of love, are we?”

“Are you not?” you challenged back.

“In an artists’ sense, yes. Not in the way that I must bow, and you curtsy while we skate around each for months to appease our families What is it truly to admire a woman? To look at her and feel inspiration? To delight in her beauty, so much so that all your defenses crumble, that you would willingly take on any pain, any burden for her.”

You were shocked by his seemingly earnest words. Perhaps the shallow nature of society was not present in everyone.

“Well, we seem to have that in common Mr.—”

“Bridgerton, but you may call me Benedict.”

“Mr. Benedict Bridgerton, the artist or a poet?” you teased.

“This doesn’t really seem like the company you would choose to surround yourself with,” you remarked.

“Quite true Miss Y/N. I fear I am rather trapped among the duties of my family to attend tonight’s ball. You see, my sister Eloise is in her debut season as well.”

You followed his gaze to where a young lady stood next to an older woman. From afar their relationship was quite clear, a mama instructing her daughter on all the dos and don’ts of the night.

“Might you join me in a dance Miss Y/N?”

You looked down to your dance card, the spots filled with fake names.

Benedict grabbed your wrist, bringing the cards towards him for a closer examination.

He laughed as he looked at the names written, scratching out the last two to write his own.

“I do hope Lord Keats and Lord Wordsworth don’t mind me taking their spots.”

“They’ll live, I hear they have greater things to attend to.”

“Greater than you miss? I have high doubts.”

You took Benedict’s hand as the music began to play.

Your hand felt so right in his, as natural as breathing.

You could not help the fluttering in your heart as he whisked you across the dance floor.

This moment, this is the moment you imagined as a young girl.

The playful conversation, perfectly countering his quick remarks. Is this what it was like to meet someone at your level?

Your insincerity and vacancy from earlier replaced by a fulfilling excitement.

“It seems highly improper to have danced continuously with you Benedict.”

“I suppose it is a bit suggestive, do you regret it?” he asked seriously.

You thought for a long second before you looked at him properly.

“No, I do not regret it. Your company is quite refreshing and enjoyable.”

“Coming from someone with your elegance, I take that as the highest compliment.”

You had spent the rest of the evening walking around with your mother and aunt, engaging in superficial conversations, your eyes constantly peeled for a certain Bridgerton.

Your stolen glances and playful smirks across the ballroom went seemingly unnoticed by most.

However, after a brief encounter with Benedict at the drinks table, you felt the wandering eyes of a young lady wearing a lovely yellow dress.

You smiled sweetly at her before returning to your mother’s side.

******

“Miss Y/N, I hope it is not a surprise for me to have called on you so early this morning?”

“On the contrary, I would have been quite disappointed if you had not.”

“Would you care to join me for a promenade?”

“I would be delighted Mr. Bridgerton.”

check out the rest of my work ⤑ here!

[juneberrie]

☆ going to school w bf!jason. !?

based on this request: "hey junie, can i request going to the same school as jason grace when he’s ur bf headcankns? also i hope everything works out well for ur quince good luck!!"

author's note: guys i actually havent written for jason for so long (its been three days)

— wc: 434 || jason grace masterlist

goddd where do i start !!!

first of all. you're dating jason grace. aka the cutest patootie, awkward puppy lover bf

he'll bring you flowers, pass u cute notes in class, put little notes in your locker (if you use one bc i know i dont use my locker lolzies)

type of bf your friends love and tell all the drama to

pushing my fb!jason agenda — sitting on the bleachers while he practices, wrapped up in his letterman jacket and doing hw

adding on to fb!jason!!! the entire team knows who you are. its a side effect of dating the football superstar. they all love you and give jason advice on like. how to ask u to hoco/prom, date ideas, etc. he talks about you so much to the point that you could be meeting one of the guys for the first time and they would know your middle name, your favorite color, and an alphabetized list of people who've wronged you in the past

he would sit with you at lunch !! if you get school lunch he'll put his bag down on one chair and then his jacket/your bag/something on the chair next to it and then goes wwith you to the lunch line. if you bring your own lunch he walks you to the table, waits till the lines are short, gets his lunch and speedwells back to ur table <3

he would walk you to class all the time (aka if his class is on the way bc gods know if he was late to a class he'd have a mental breakdown)

its kind of awkward hanging out with him before school/at dances because since he knows a ton of ppl they come up and talk to him while ur just kinda standing there 🧍‍♀️ but!! like the amazeballs bf he is, he makes sure to introduce you and include you in the conversation!!

back to fb!jason (can u tell i like fb jason) after games, he quickly accepts congratulations from people (cause yk he's always winning) and immediately goes to find u <3 he'll give you one of those hugs where he picks u up and spins you around.

type of person to get his license the nanosecond he turns 16 . which meaaannnss!!! you get to be his passenger princess gf!!! he'll drive you EVERYYYYwhere. doesnt matter if he's not going he drives u anyways

i hc that he likes taylor swift so if you were a swiftie his hoco/promposal would def be taylor lyrics or something

"you belong with me — at hoco" type shit <3