#ax is gonna make fun of me for posting on tumblr after talking about how much i hate this website

[elmtreeetv]

hi tumblr today i bring you cotl doodles

i like the whiteboard

[ckret2]

first of all - i really love your characterization of alastor! i saw ur post on 'how alastor would react to a buzzfeed unsolved-type video on his crimes' a while ago and id like to ask - do you think he was ever considered as a suspect? would there even be any real suspects? thank you for all ur writing and ideas :D

tl;dr, my personal headcanon is that he was never considered as a suspect, but have an extremely detailed explanation!

So, until we learn more from canon, here's my overall headcanon of Alastor as a serial killer. Read more (if tumblr cooperates) for a long headcanon post and for brief mentions of the gory things serial killers do.

- His preferred target was hunters and his weapon of choice was a standard hunting rifle. This means that, for a while, individual killings could be brushed off as "some irresponsible hunter accidentally shot another hunter, and either it was a wild shot and the shooter never saw where the bullet went, or he realized he'd accidentally shot somebody and fled like a coward." Unlike more obvious serial killer strategies—example, the Axeman of New Orleans' "people found axed to death inside their own homes" deal—it would take a while for Alastor's killings to be recognized as deliberate murder probably committed by one person.

- Most serial killers have a pretty small hunting ground, somewhere near where they live that's familiar/comfortable to them, and they don't stray far outside it. Compared to the Axeman again—the Axeman primarily attacked people in Italian-American immigrant communities in New Orleans, which made it easy to identify a pattern after only a few attacks. Since the Axeman was never identified, there's no way for us to know whether he lived in the neighborhoods where he killed—but like, he probably wasn't driving in from Houston.

Alastor, on the other hand, broke that pattern by killing at various hunting grounds around Louisiana—and maybe even neighboring states, I haven't decided yet—so it was harder to pinpoint where the killer lived and start searching that area for suspects.

- Many serial killers are identified by the rituals they tend to perform with their victims. Example: Jack the Ripper, who liked to disembowel his victims in a way that made police think he had experience as a surgeon. Desecrating/mutilating bodies in consistent ways is common, as are particular/identifiable body disposal methods. These rituals are typically things that have nothing to do with committing the murder itself, which means the killer just did them for fun. Alastor didn't have these. Shooting was where it started and ended for him. No undressing the body, no mutilating it, no moving it, no stealing trophies—he left them as they fell, sometimes leaving the scene before his victim was dead.

Oftentimes serial killers kill to try to enact some fantasy, and often their kills get more elaborate over time as they find that whatever high they're trying to get from their kill doesn't last. Alastor's fantasies revolved around hunting/killing his equals like game animals—hence his choice of victim, weapon, and crime scene. So I think Alastor's kills would have gotten more elaborate (and thus easier to identify) over time—starting with field dressing the corpse as if it was a deer, and eventually progressing to taking home cuts of "meat" from the victims to eat. (In a recent stream, it was revealed that Alastor wasn't a cannibal while he was alive, only after death; so I've been headcanoning him as having fantasized about cannibalism while he was a serial killer but never having worked up the nerve to perform it.) But Alastor died before he got that far, so his crime scenes were fairly nondescript until his death.

- Because he was killing on hunting grounds, the areas were sparsely populated, which means fewer potential witnesses would ever see him. And if they did, because of how far he was from home, they probably wouldn't recognize him and could only include a vague physical description of him in their list of all the strangers they saw in the area that day.

- Because he'd just kill someone and leave the body there in the woods, it would often be several days before the corpse was found—depending on how long, it might be difficult to identify how long it'd been dead. (Especially if the victim had been camping out there several days so family members couldn't just say "yeah he went hunting on Tuesday and didn't come back," a camping trip means a window of several days the murder could occur.) Oftentimes he'd be back home several days before the murder was discovered and reported, making it even harder to track down who'd been in the area at the time.

- Alastor was killing complete strangers—people he'd never met before, didn't know the names of, didn't even know what towns they were from—which would make it impossible for anyone to find the killer by cross-referencing the victims' acquaintances.

- From early on he started prioritizing coming up with alibis that would put him away from the scene of the crime; because people would rightly become suspicious if they realized that every time he talked about going on a hunting trip and gee wiz he didn't get any game how sad, there was a mention in the papers of another hunter being shot. (Although originally, he started making up cover stories not to hide his crimes but to comfort his mother. "Yes Ma, I know you're worried about all the hunters getting shot lately. No Ma, I'm not going on a hunting trip this weekend, I'm uhhh going to visit Pa's family.")

Initially his cover stories were as simple as just "don't tell people I'm going hunting this weekend." Sometimes he'd make up a story about what he did yesterday in town so that when another kill hit the papers nobody would even think to wonder whether Alastor had been there at the time.

As he got deeper into his murder hobby, sometimes he'd prerecord a radio show and wheedle someone at the studio into playing it for him at his usual hour—which, in the early days of broadcasting, was actually illegal. Radio stations were under an obligation to primarily broadcast live content—otherwise, the radio station wasn't providing a service you couldn't get from a phonograph —with only a few exceptions like playing a rerun of a special broadcast a few days later for people who missed it the first time. As a daily radio host, Alastor's programming would be the sort least likely to be permitted one of those exceptions. Which meant he was gonna get the station in a bit of trouble if anyone outside the couple of sympathetic producers who let him do this found out that he was occasionally broadcasting prerecorded segments; but it also meant that nobody would ever imagine that the guy on the air at 9 am was halfway across the state at 10 am when another hunter was shot.

All these cover stories woulda fallen apart pretty quickly if somebody ever looked into them—but since he never made it onto anybody's list of suspects, nobody ever came around the station to ask where was Alastor on the morning of Monday the 14th, was he really here broadcasting?

- I also headcanon that Alastor started making deals with demons long before he died—I mean, it's not like he arrived in Hell instantly knowing how to make predatory soul bargains without prior practice, right?—so he was probably using them to help cover his trail. Things like "help me not get caught for this murder, and in exchange the murder victim's soul is yours."

So! That's how he killed, and how he avoided being identified as a suspect.

It probably woulda happened eventually. He'd gradually started killing more often, partially because he increasingly craved that violent fix (particularly because he never quite perfected it to his satisfaction, it never quite fully scratched his itch), and partially because he had more demons to pay off with blood; and authorities and hunters in Louisiana were getting wise to the threat in their midst, trying to increase monitoring of people moving in and out of hunting sites, and watching each other more warily if they crossed paths in the woods, thus increasing his chances of witnesses or even of being caught in the act.

But he got shot.

While Alastor was stalking one of his soon-to-be victims, the almost-victim spotted Alastor, mistook him for a deer, and set his dog on him. (Or maybe he shot first and then the dog went charging in, haven't decided yet.) When he realized that this wasn't a deer but An Actual Human Person And Fellow Hunter who was now mangled and bleeding to death, he panicked, his brain went "DESTROY THE WITNESS," and he shot Alastor point blank, and then he panicked again. He was caught trying to hide the body.

There were a few farfetched suspects investigated as potentially being the serial killer based on circumstantial evidence, but to this day the one person repeatedly identified as the most probable suspect is, ironically, the man who killed the real serial killer—because after he was arrested, the killings stopped. He was found not guilty for bullshit reasons (it was a fraught case) but even when the killings didn't resume, the believers think it's because he got spooked after nearly being convicted and decided to stop murdering.

Which also means, in a lot of cold case documentaries/books about the serial killer, Alastor himself is identified as the serial killer's probable last victim—which he finds hysterical.

[trashforazriel]

A very #Brightwell centric #ProdigalSon reaction post by a crazed fangirl

This is my first rewatch since last night.  Minus the 35 times I watched him say Wow, you look amazing, and the 99 times I watched him lose his words when she was vulnerably waiting for this epic confession.  My stomach gets heated when it happens. HOLY hell, let me start this lol.

*Martin’s nightmare was surprising for me.  Maybe his reaction last week was real.  Meh, I don’ t trust him.  

*PRESSURE!!!!!  Nice music.  Malcolm failing at relaxing, poor guy.  Why..why you gotta show me Steve this episode?  We were having such  a good time.

*Ainsley is such a little Diane Sawyer

*MALCOLM IN THE WHITE SUIT!!  @atomrealm you were all I thought about.  I wish I could have seen the joy on your face xo.  I am enjoying it thoroughly.

*LMAO at Malcolm deploying to a war zone.

*Crime scene on the way, COME on GIL.  Quick drive by, in and out.  I love him shouting fine.  Suit joke ftw.

*His name is Jessie, yes...did we just learn his name.  Help, I think I just stroked out.  Dani told him off for the Miami vice joke and I died from joy. Eta..I watched with closed captions she said JT lol. If his name is Jessie I'll be thrilled.

*LMAO Edrisa, comedy comes in threes.  I love her with all of my being.

*I watched this scene an obscene amount of times.  “We’re not leaving you!” Dani.  OMG.  When turns to Dani, and I swear chickens out once again on sharing his feelings.  Dude, you could die.  Be happy.  Her emotional reaction before and after---perfection.  I did not know we were getting this amount of Brightwell.  I loved it all.

*Malcolm is Superman.  Imagine if he wasn’t there, he is a hero.

*Ahahaha, should I have said I love you?

*R.I.P. Gil’s sweet ride.  Cause, he needed to almost die.  He’s the read shirt who lives, but almost dies every episode.  Whump fest, love it.

*Martin in group therapy.  LMAO Hector captures Malcolm.  I love everything this scene is.  “Hey.” LOLOLOL.  I heart Hector.  “but dad, you kill people, and you’re a dick.”  Bravo.  I love you too.  perfect scene is perfect.

*Gil stroking his rabbit’s foot.  So sad lol.  “Kid” awe

*Dani, nice seat choice.  Yes to all of this.  The speaker call.  LOL to Gil constantly just doing stuff like, what’s the worst that can happen?  

*Him hanging up on Martin when he speaks to Dani LOL.  I was like, he’s protecting her.  

*Your dad seems nice, i’m getting this tattoo.

*I like the Jessica and Ainsley bonding.  So sweet.

*THIS crime scene is the movie SAW and I won’t hear any arguments against that.  Why is Malcolm ALWAYS the sacrificial lamb?  I do love Dani being like, wtf are you doing?  She cares bb.  The department of falling sword death?  LMAO.  Also, silver metal axe thrower.  I hope he teaches Dani.

*How is Malcolm multitasking right now, I can’t even remember to drink water when I live tweet.  Boy wonder.

*They have such elaborate murder plots.  You cut, I’ll catch.  AHHH.  Trust.  Teamwork.  I love it.

*I still can’t focus on this murder story when I know what’s coming.  I actually had to just rewind it because I fell down a tumblr hole of Brightwell posts.

*The location shots on this show are great.  

*Malcolm politely asking him not to move, lol.  Has that ever worked though?

*breathless Malcolm, ftw--that hair tho.

*Powell will give you a ride.  Gil ships it so hard.

*OMG their personal talk in her car.  Him trying to get her to understand his living nightmare, and she tries to make him laugh.  Awe.  I heart this scene so much.  She gives him the choice, and OMG.  Didn’t he hang up to protect her?  He’s like, dad this is my gir--my Dani..Girlfriend?  Partner..um, yes, that label is fine by me.

*She’s like, please don’t mess with your father..he cray, and you are hurting.  Now she knows what has been haunting him.  Sad Malcolm is killing me.  I can’t believe this much happens before she asks him what he was going to say.

*Malcolm/Dani/Martin solving the crime lol.  Have fun, love Martin.  I love the shopping scene.  KID YOU’RE DONE, Gil you precious teddy bear.  

*The WOW scene.  I wanted this type of reaction in episode 5, but it was  sweeter now.  The smile she gives him after her dis, OMG, she is the SUN.

*Malcolm in a black tux is my new favorite.  He looks like 007.  

*Dani LOOKS incredible, next time keep her hair curly and up.  She is gorgeous.  She asks him what he was gonna say to her before he blew up..he blows her off like usual, and she looks disappointed.  Us too babe.  Someone get him high or drunk, it’s the only time he’s emotionally vulnerable when she puts herself out there.  Dani, speak up.  He’s a human man puppy.  Worth the prodding.  

*OMG them close talking.  Whoever wrote and directed this, chef’s kiss.  Tom and Aurora’s chemistry..i can’t with this stupid ship.

*I’m gonna talk about dads, cause that’s what people do” I love his improv, tell me he just improvs this whole scene.  Fathers do bone it, from time to time-LOL.  They sure do.

*I love that the murderers are always so patient with Malcolm’s Mensa speeches.  It is mesmerizing.  Nope, OUCH-Dani’s take down was bad ass.  Sad that is her last scene.  Do we have to wait through Steve to get them.  Ok, but I’m gonna complain the entire time.

*The Malcolm fan club.  So cute.  Jessica and Malcolm, another awe.  Him acknowledging Ainsley was sweet.  Him in that with tux the air blowing, stunning!

*It was a great show, which ties with episode 5 for me, maybe even surpasses.  

[haich-slash-cee]

Being Human (UK)

This is a show that I recommend to people... but I add a lot of caveats.

The recommendation: A werewolf, vampire and ghost are flatmates. This show is hilarious! So much macabre and slice of life humor! And horror and whump!? Also, the show was run by a side-channel of BBC (BBC3) and I guess they had no production money, so the actors mostly look human and they just refer to each other as being a 500-year old vampire or ghost or whatever. Which makes it even better. The werewolf is Jewish, recites a Jewish prayer at least once, and hangs out watching “The Real Hustle” with the vampire. They work in a hospital as janitors. The ghost has a habit of making everyone tea to soothe herself and the flat is cluttered with tea mugs everywhere all the time. Also, people do get fang-y or wolf-y or do weird poltergeist stuff. And gore happens.

Longish post, more below the cut.

PS, this is the 2008-2013 UK version of Being Human, which I hear had a cult following. There’s certainly stuff on Tumblr. I found the BBC version through the US remake of Being Human, but I’m much more charmed by the BBC version. (The US version has the vampire and werewolf as hospital doctors? Why?) Also I watched the show maybe 4, 5 years ago, so impressions are from that.

And the caveats: There’s a lot of sexism which was hard to watch. It’s engrained in the premise and plot and occasional gross sexist jokes. And there’s other problematic stuff in the writing. It’s like having glass shards show up the meal you are enjoying, and it’s why I’m not sure I’ll rewatch the series (or not in it’s entirety, anyway). There’s also a limited spinoff web series called Becoming Human which also had some problems for me, including some gross sexism and fatphobia. (John Boyega from Star Wars does show up as a character in that series, for anyone interested.)

Back to Being Human and overall series recommendations. So the 1st season was good. I kind of forgot what happened in the 2nd and 3rd season (I think they got depressing and slow?). The 4th season picked up again, much to my surprise, and I remember liking the 4th and 5th season a lot. Even though [spoilers] there was a complete cast change by this time. But it worked, somehow. The show did go from at least having one woman of color to having an all-white cast at the end, which was not great. And there’s other racism too.

For people who like their happily-ever-after: uhhh so I vaguely recall that a lot of characters don’t really get a happy ending. Granted, half of them are walking around dead already, so...? Overall, the ending of the 5th season is... Is that a happy ever after? Happy for now? The Bonus on the DVD kind of makes it a happy-for-now with a continued possibility? It’s an acceptable HFN?

.....And now, the notes for all the hurt/comfort people and whumpers:

Holy crap people, there is SO much h/c and whump!?

OK first -- George the werewolf. George’s transformation sequence, SUPER whumpy.

Also, George ends up naked often, come to think. And he screams a lot during the show, for various reasons. The actor himself, in the bonus DVD interviews I think, cheerfully says something like, “People really like the way George screams, I do too.” (This is like when David Tennant cheerfully talked about how he enjoys playing a character who is unconscious and sick and gets fussed over by people.) And George is a very sympathetic, nerdy character who is easy to feel for. Who occasionally turns into a SNARLY SCARY WEREWOLF AGAINST HIS WILL. As mentioned, I think I liked season 1 George more than seasons 2 or 3.

Emotional hurt/comfort -- so Annie the Ghost provides a lot of the emotional centering, as I recall. Throughout all 5 seasons, all the characters lean on each other for support and there’s a lot of lovely warm fuzzies from that. Also, one of the later werewolf characters, Tom, is generally a sweet kid. I’m glad they didn’t do too much of the transformation horror with him, honestly. George/Russel Tovey could carry that, but I thought Tom’s strong point was looking puppy-eyed and folorn-eyebrow’d and trying to navigate the world with a mix of naivety and half-feral-ness.

Above: exhausted naps on the couch.

Below: Classic Being Human humor. A review of house rules and vampire stabbing etiquette, between Annie and Tom --

[Spoilers from here on] Okay, so as mentioned, the cast changed over between season 4-5. And to my surprise, I think I loved the new trio as much as, or more than, the original trio. I liked how loud Alex the ghost was. And I liked both Annie and Alex.

Also, I did not expect this either, but I got so interested in Hal! Yo! First of all, Hal is a centuries-old Vampire and speaks/looks like, idk, a Regency Character. And then 19-yr old Tom puts Hal to work at a fast food shop and bosses him around, and Hal’s indignation is hilarious. So already, this is excellent.

And somehow, Hal is very, very whumpy? So: the character of a “vampire who is trying to be good and suffers” is not new, and I’ve encountered versions where I haven’t been interested. (I was lukewarm about Mitchell, the original vampire in the show.) But for whatever reason, I really dug Hal. Maybe, for me, Hal was just the right mix of very serious and earnest but also ridiculous and tragic all at once. (I read some interviews with the actor Damien Molony, who mentioned how he’d done a lot of history and addiction research in to prep for the role. The new trio actors also had a lot of chemistry and fun on sets, it sounds like. So I might be picking up all that.)

Also, Hal is actually two characters -- the ridiculous indignant serious Good Hal who is desperately trying to keep the horrible, rude, murderous, Bad Hal from taking over. But, as one of the show producers, a woman, cheerfully commented in the DVD extras: “And then Bad Hal shows up, which is great, everyone likes a bit of Bad Hal”. 

Honestly, why do we even pretend to hide our fascination with the macabre and the whump, when showrunners and actors are cheerfully not hiding it all.

Here’s clips of Good Hal in Season 4:

Oh, I forgot about this part until I rewatched the last clip -- but at the end of season 4, Hal asks his flatmates to forcibly bind him to a chair, because he’s trying to fight off Bad Hal. Based on my perusing of the whump community, pretty sure that scenario is of interest to someone.

Also notable is the episode “No Care, All Responsibility” (Series 5 ep 3). In one scene in particular, where Natasha has offered Hal a way to control his bloodlust and there’s this mix of vulnerability and power with Hal asking Natasha to put a stake against his heart, I remember thinking -- “I bet a woman wrote this ep and I bet she knew exactly what she wanted”. And I was right, that woman is Sarah Dollard, a queer woman who has also written a lot of other things (including Doctor Who). She also wrote Being Human goofy web extra eps with Alex, Hal and Tom called “Alex’s Unfinished Business” and they are so good ! (Interview). 

Also... the opening 3-minute backstory in “No Care...” made me cry. You get a glimpse of the show’s baddie showing real care and emotion in rescuing this little kid (an important character). When this kind of scene is done well, it just gets me. every. time.

Anyway here’s an appearance of Bad Hal (much later), being completely awful, murdering people and turning them into vampires and singing Broadway tunes during this.

Side note on Vampire narratives. Although Hal’s narrative arc of season 5 was interesting, and I’m aware this is show is urban fantasy, I still have qualms of the show enforcing IRL stigmas/ideas that addition is incurable and addicts are doomed. They’re not. (General overview on NIH page.) Addiction research is a growing field. From listening to NPR and reading articles, my impression is that addiction treatment will change quickly in the next few years. Related to the vampire blood addiction trope, Terry Pratchett covers vampires finding ways to be “dry” (one vampire, Maladict, swaps out blood addiction for coffee addiction) and you can find fanfics about the topic as well. (General link to Being Human Ao3 fanfics, why not.)

Side note on Hal’s dual characters -- recently, I did consider, “Is there overlap with Hal and portrayals of Dissociative Identity Disorder (MPD) folks?” IRL DID people have complained about movies with gross portrayals of people with DID. To me, Being Human’s Hal feels removed from that and closer to a fantasy.... but, I’m also not multi, so.

* Update: after having learned more about plural history, I’m even less sure now. (Note: my opinions are of someone who isn’t plural, as far as I know, so note that.) There’s a number of early problematic movies and books that hugely affected the popular narratives of plural people in the west, and still affect how therapists and non-plural people treat plural people even today. These include the movie “The Three Faces of Eve”, which has the narrative of “Good Eve, Bad Even, and later smushed together become ‘Fixed Eve’ or whatever”. There’s practically a whole lecture series on how the books/movies were made with sensationalism and formulas in mind and pretty gross things. Chris Costner Sizemore, the IRL Eve, had to fight the movie studios in court because the studios claimed they owned her life story. (There’s practically a whole lecture series on early plural history in the west, I might link more information later). Like, even today, multi people feel pressured to hide their plurality because they are afraid singlets or other people are gonna say “oh so which one of you is the ax murderer”, or that they are going to be fired from work. So.  

This post turned into a “Being Human seasons 4 + 5 Appreciation Post”. I guess Season 1 and 4, 5 were my favorite. I watched the show through library DVDs, but I think there’s eps of the show on YouTube. The DVD extras are probably on this YouTube playlist?

(Also, there is a pilot episode, with different actors except George/Russel Tovey. I don’t think one needs to watch the pilot to watch the main series; I kind of recall that the main series recycled some of the pilot. There is a funny scene in the pilot where George and Mitchell meet Annie.)

Being Human: a macabre, hilarious, horror-filled, flawed, sometimes dragging, emotional, whumpy, oddball show that I still think about sometimes.

[unulales]

permanent plotter call!!

its been a little while since i’ve rped on tumblr so i’m not sure what the rules are for them nowadays or if they’ve changed? i’m just gonna go ahead and lay down what it means for me

like this post if you...

want me to tag you in starters out of nowhere

are okay with me slipping in your inbox (outside of memes)/dming you in or out of character for whatever reason

are interested in consistent interactions with cat for any reason

have any interest in having any sort of plot or development with ecaterina (can be as fluffy as her being your muse’s piano teacher or as deep as exploring her issues with being a “chosen one”)

have all of the above applied to you, and you’re okay with horror

if you don’t really know for sure if this is the kind of stuff you want to do, that’s totally fine! i’ll still post opens and starter calls all the time if you wanna go ahead and test the waters!

if you like this and we’re mutuals, you can also go ahead and im me if you have any ideas! i might be slow, so sorry in advance;; talking to no one in particular is a lot easier than talking to someone directly hogh also, most importantly, please im me any triggers you have so i can be as careful as i need to be.

heyyo! thanks for checking out my peebrain ideas! just so you know, this list is gonna be dynamic and i’ll be updating it as time goes on. ideas seriously slap me at 4am like a prophet receiving messages from an angry god

i’ll put the date when it was most recently updated at the top, some ideas might be deleted if i think they’re too boring or someone’s bit one of them. but... some of these ideas can definitely have multiple muses tied to it so don’t feel rushed to take one.

also, keep in mind these are just some ideas i have. if you have any ideas, or if there’s any specific development you want to explore with your muse don’t be afraid to say so. it takes two to tango or something like that 

music instruction!

yes, ecaterina is... not a good person. she’s extremely closed off generally speaking and doesn’t have an interest in people as a whole. if there’s anything that she’s competent in and she loves to do it’s play music. name an instrument, any instrument. cat at least knows the basics and her rates are fairly cheap. (she’s best with string instruments, but piano is a close second.)

she’s a strict instructor, but she doesn’t want to throw anyone into such a hobby half-assed. you are getting your money’s worth and then some.

i see this as being a slow burn where cat tries to share with the student in question her joy in music, and maybe at some point exploring why she doesn’t just... keep doing it all the time? of course, there’s also a chance the student in question would be unnerved because she already doesn’t make sounds when she walks. whenever she’s focused on something, she doesn’t blink. 

( this one’s really vague, y’all... )

ghost hunting!

while it was never a major interest of her’s, it’s something she unfortunately knows way too much about by association. since she worked on a ghost hunting show, to say she knows a thing or two would be putting it lightly. ecaterina would work as a good assistant if they wanted someone that knew what they were doing, but she’s also a huge pain in the ass because haunted areas are her element. she will try her hardest to scare you if you’re interested in going this route.

cat probably won’t have interest in going with someone unless they’re genuinely curious and proves themselves to be educated in the paranormal. she is absolutely going to treat the person in question like her brother, ( with action-based kindness and a lot of making fun of you ) and the progression would probably be much quicker as a result.

owing a debt!

yes, cat is a shitty person. no, i will not stop reminding you. but there are a handful of things she can be pretty good about, and repaying her debts is pretty high up there.

your muse could potentially:

prevent her from getting into an accident

rescue her from a place she trapped herself in when trying to scare someone

buy her a new instrument/repair an old one

something... else if you have any ideas that would be more in character for you, do not be afraid to discuss them these are just some examples

and she will stick to your muse like fuckin e6000 until she feels like her debt has been appropriately paid. depending on the gravity of the favor, this can go anywhere between paying for your lunch or basically being your indentured servant / bodyguard for the rest of her life.

feel free to blow up in her face if you’re fed up with her following you around so much! take advantage of her servitude by making her do stupid things! treat her kindly! ( why would you want to do that, but it’s... an option i guess ) get confused, because she’s suddenly being much kinder to your muse! anything goes! but cat will never directly mention that she feels like she owes your muse unless asked.

spook friends!

cat will have a very hard time coping with the fact that someone else genuinely likes to scare someone just as much, if not more than she does. she’ll feel... inferior, and have a bit of a complex about it but after some warming up she’ll be happy to work with them!

she actually doesn’t really like being in the spotlight that much, so she’d definitely value someone to sort of test things out for her? critique the plans that she has? ecaterina won’t admit it, but she does miss the stability of her job with phantasmagorica. making props and helping someone with make up to scare the shit out of people would fill that hole.

not to mention, two friends owning a year-round haunted house (that is occasionally also an escape room?) just sounds like a really cute idea to me.

chosen one stuff!

ecaterina ciobanu is a chosen champion by the sect of gaia to accomplish... well, she’s never really been sure. but she’s also never been interested. at least that’s what she likes to think. she says that she doesn’t like her axe, but she really misses it! demons are... fucking cool, but cat honestly hates how interested she is in them?

there’s... a lot more to this, but i kind of want it to come up organically? i’d imagine it would take us a minute to get to this point, but... you know. i admittedly don’t get to play my campaign with her very often, but it’s a really important part of her character i’d like to explore. 

maybe she could have someone pushing her towards her violent thoughts? or someone else that has experience being a destined hero training her? idk, i just know either way it’s not gonna end very well...

[weird-squish-cube]

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Longest Tag: 113 characters

#they came right up to me. ine flew up on top of that yellow thing and they all got so excited about the crumbs!!!

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

How I'm gonna wake up after making fun of axe for being 5'3

6 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 19:28:22 GMT

#4

Shade bois

8 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 14:04:22 GMT

#3

JUST finished watching the newest owl house episode (S2 ep7) and That sure was a Fucking Lot.

Seriously, things that happened this episode-

More eda backstory

Raine whisper introduced And reveled to be a traitor to the emperor

Eda has a crush!?!

More effects of the curse discovered

Kings DAD is just out there !!!?!

King getting a name change/Adopted by Eda?? My Heart!!

Also I love that the vegetable fanfic girl from the first episode showed up that was neat. An Amazing episode

9 notes • Posted 2021-07-26 18:15:45 GMT

#2

Watched the first few episodes of Redwall, and in Summary.....

11 notes • Posted 2021-03-22 19:42:37 GMT

#1

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

tHE NEW Episode is INSANE!!!

Eda discovering literal Power in self acceptance?!?!!

Eda and Lilliths DAD!! AND MORE RAINE

Whomst is the ? Cloak person!

Kings got powers now!!

Hooty can Bake.

More demon lore??!

Luz and Amity finaly talked about the Kiss. Theyre Adorable.

And then Kings Maybe dad???? Hotty Better barf up that Fucking letter! or I. Will. Loose . It

12 notes • Posted 2021-07-31 21:56:25 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[writteninsunshine]

I Don’t Want To Feel The Emptiness - Axel/Demyx - SFW

Title: I Don’t Want To Feel The Emptiness

Author: Donnie

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts

Setting: Delphi Beach (Hercules)

Pairing: Axel/Demyx

Characters: Axel, Demyx, Saïx, Xemnas, Vexen, Roxas

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance

Rating: T

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 1354

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Part of the 8 Days Of Axel Series

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Canon Character Death, Demyx is Anxious about Vexen’s Death, Post CoM but before II, Demyx was in Thebes and went to Delphi for the beach, Vague mentions of Aquaphobia

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Summary: Collecting Demyx wasn’t all fun and games like it should have been.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have Twitter and Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD I can PM it to people who want it on FFN, for everyone else, it’s here: https://discord.gg/FyaWw25

So, originally this fic was titled Sunset Strip, and as I was writing it… Well, the song by Cake was stuck in my head but I kept going to the next line, I Don’t Want To Feel The Emptiness. We’ll see if it changes again or not before I post it.

Anyway, so, I’m finally trying to write again. I was late to the party for the 8 Days of Axel event, but I’m joining it anyway. This is day 2, late, naturally. I’m working on day 3 for today as soon as I finish editing this and getting it posted. I’m gonna try and catch up, at the very least. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Kingdom Hearts Fic Masterlist

I Don't Want To Feel The Emptiness

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Always trust Demyx to find a beach anywhere he went and spend his entire day staring longingly into the waves. Axel had been sent to find him, considering he should have checked in with Saïx by now, and simply hadn’t shown up. It seemed the redhead was always going off to find someone, to fetch someone, to eliminate someone. At least, this time, Demyx just needed to be plucked from the warm sunset sands of the beach in Delphi, and not killed. While it was a solid day or so away from Thebes, it didn’t take nearly as long to get there thanks to the Corridors of Darkness.

Stepping out of the swirling, lapping darkness aiming to find a strip of skin, Axel reached up to pluck his hood from the top of his head, guiding it down to rest on his shoulders. Just as he suspected, Demyx sat on the pristine white sand, hood down, strumming away at his sitar, drawing songs from it he’d never heard before. He hummed here and there, as though he might let his voice rise with the music, but it never came. Axel was used to watching Demyx play but now wasn’t the time; Even if he figured Saïx would much rather sit and listen just the same as he did. 

As he finally strode over, Demyx looked up from where his eyes melted into the ocean, shaken from his thoughts by the tinkling of metal on Axel’s coat. A warm, easy smile worked over Demyx’s lips as he peered up at him, teal meeting green for a split second before Axel looked away.

“What’s up, Axe?” Demyx asked, his fingers never once leaving the strings of his sitar, “Not often you come to check me out when I’m--” Those eyes went wide and his jaw went slack for a split second, then he jolted forward and his sitar dissipated into a puddle in his lap. “Working.” 

“Yeah, man, you forget about something?” Axel couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath, shaking out his mane as he turned his eyes up to the sunset. “Saïx said something about a report on Hades?”

“I-- I totally, definitely did that.” Demyx pointed towards the sky, his hands moving at a hundred miles per hour as he tried his best to write the report in the air with all of the words falling out of his mouth. Axel rose a brow at him, smirk in place as he listened to the stuttering, half-thought-out rearranged dictionary trying to explain what Demyx had been up to until Axel finally held up a hand.

“That’s between you and Saïx, Dem. For now,” He glanced out over the water, saw the reflections of oranges, pinks and blues on the slowly lapping surface, and a soft, tender smile overcame his face, “Let’s just watch the sunset. I’ll take the fall for the next ten minutes.” Ten minutes, indeed.

The instant switch being flipped from panic to relaxation could have made a lesser man’s head spin, but Demyx took it in such stride that Axel got the emotional whiplash, instead. Hands behind him to rest in the soft, warm sand, Demyx leaned his weight on them and shifted his legs out in front of him, absently nodding beside himself. He hoped Axel would join him; It had been a while since the two of them had just vegetated together.

“Then get down here and sit with me.” His voice was melodic in a way that lulled even Axel into a sense of safety, and he settled in beside the other despite how close they were to the lapping waves. Water made him anxious sometimes, but Demyx’s presence definitely made things seem less threatening. Much as Demyx could be a one-man party, he knew when to exude calm in waves. Saïx always got to see the more relaxed side of Demyx, though the blond was careful to try and hide the side of him that was so relaxed he got Roxas to do most of his work for him. Not that he thought Saïx was stupid enough to think he didn’t do it.

Axel brought one knee up, the other leg straight out in front of him, as he pressed one hand behind him into the sand and the other elbow pressed into his knee. Chin in his hand, he hummed a little.

“Man, I’d kill for some sea salt ice cream right about now.” He sighed dreamily, eyes on the sky as it blossomed from red to blue in a rapidly melting display of light and color. 

“Kill?” Demyx laughed softly, shaking his head as he let it hang back between his shoulders for a second, “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?” Was it easy to see his thinly veiled anxiety? Probably. Even Roxas would have been able to see the uncomfortable line his shoulders had become.

“Aw, c’mon, Dem, I’d never--” But how could Demyx know that? After what had happened with Vexen, everyone had started treating him a little (or a lot) differently. Brows drawing in and his good mood ruined, Axel pursed his lips, “I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Because you can’t light water on fire or because you…” Care. The word died on Demyx’s lips, and the two men simply stared at the sky for another minute or two in uneasy silence. Demyx wished he hadn’t opened his big, fat mouth, and Axel’s desire for ice cream went beyond his simply being accustomed to getting it every evening. It would also be a good excuse not to talk to one another, better than simply trying to find anything at all to focus on that wasn’t sitting right beside them.

“Look, Dem, I… What happened with Vexen wasn’t…” Nobody had listened to his side of the story, and now that an opportunity to explain himself had arisen, Axel didn’t have the words. Demyx’s clear anxiety only made him want to change the subject because if the sitarist wanted to run, he would at the drop of a hat. Somehow, he hadn’t, yet, and Axel needed to do something, anything to keep him rooted to his spot.

“Nah, man, it’s--” Demyx turned to look at Axel just in time for the redhead to lean in and kiss his cheek. After a second, the blond turned his head, brushing their lips together softly, just as the last rays of sunshine slipped beneath the horizon. While he was surprised, Axel gently caressed Demyx’s cheek, leaning into the kiss more until he finally pulled back with a little smile. 

“What was that for?” Axel questioned, head tilting slightly as his smile turned into a full-blown smirk.

“I… Miss feeling safe with you.” Demyx muttered, his eyes finding the leather of his coat pressed into his knees, “If it wasn’t… If Vexen wasn’t… Your fault, then it wasn’t. Right?” He still looked flighty, but at least he was glued to the sand, warm and soft as it was beneath him.

“Yeah… Yeah, that sounds about right.” Axel nodded with a little smile, his eyes turning tender and his expression softening considerably, “Don’t worry, Dem, I’d never hurt you.” There was no reason to, and he didn’t think he could if he wanted to.

Their lips joined once more, and they held it until the stars above them twinkled a warning. They were definitely forgetting something. It took an hour of kissing on the beach before Demyx broke it, his eyes wide again.

“We have to go!” He exclaimed, “Didn’t you come to get me for Saïx?”

“Crap--” Axel joined Demyx’s mad scramble to get to his feet, “Yeah, we better head out.”

The Corridor of Darkness could only carry them so fast, and the fact that they both knew they’d be getting chewed out when they got to the end didn’t make them go any faster. Saïx didn’t take too kindly to being kept waiting, if only because the Superior didn’t like to be kept waiting.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: Welp, there we have it, the first piece for the 8 Days Of Axel that I’ve completed. I want to try and get to the next ones, too, and go back and do day one because I was really late. xD Writing these in one day seems to be a bit of an issue but hopefully, today is better for focusing than yesterday was.

Prompt: 8 Days Of Axel Day 2 Sunsets

[yujachachacha]

Get to know me

Tagged by @symphonyalpha​ (I forgot the URL for a second and was like, “Why isn’t Jaewhy showing up when I type it in the user mention???” lol).

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Last: 1. Drink: Barley water, because that’s what my family drinks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 2. Phone call: My grandma, telling me what time she needed me to drive her to her doctor’s appointment. 3. Text message: To my little brother, telling him to STFU because he kept sending me dumb shit on iMessage. 4. Song you listened to: Does SIF count? If so, “Sore wa Bokutachi no Kiseki”. If not, I was headbanging to “Paradise Lost” by Chihara Minori after dropping my grandma off at her friend’s place the other day, lol. 5. Time you cried: tbh I probably teared up a little when I was watching the footage from the Lantis preview of the Aqours 1st Live BD/DVDs ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇωஇﾟ)ﾟ｡

Have you: 6. Dated someone twice: I haven’t even dated someone once :’))) 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve kissed exactly one person, so...hm. There was a period of time when I had conflicting emotions over what happened, but in the end, I don’t think I regret it. 8. Been cheated on: See #6. 9. Lost someone special: I’ve had a grandfather pass away, and this is probably going to sound bad, but...I really appreciated him, and he was nothing but kind to me. However, since I’d only seen him about three times in my life, the biggest way his death affected me was through my mother. It took her a while to get over my grandfather’s death, so it changed the way I behaved around her during that time. 10. Been depressed: Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Exactly once, because I made the mistake of keeping pace with my uncle in Korea who takes soju shots like a champ. This also happened to be the night before Lunar New Year, so I got chewed out by my aunt (older sister of my uncle) once she realized why I was so lethargic during the festivities. _(:3 」∠)_ I don’t regret it though, because before that I had never been hungover before and was wondering what my limit was, haha.

List 3 favorite colors: 12-14. Red, blue, and...uh...other than those two I don’t have any definite faves. I guess the third would be either yellow or purple...? I’ll just go with purple for the sake of completion.

In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: #TeamONIBE 16. Fallen out of love: That would require me to fall in love with someone first. 17. Laughed until you cried: I think it might have been when Mayushii and King did that disastrous cooking niconama. Like...what the actual fuck, do they seriously not know anything about basic kitchen safety and hygiene??? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: The number of times I’ve gone on to Discord and found out that someone in ONIBE was talkin’ smack about me... (｡･ˇ_ˇ･｡) It’s all in good fun though, haha. 19. Met someone who changed you: See #15. 20. Found out who your friends are: Nothing says "friendship” like screaming your heart out at an anisong concert, eating McNuggets while insanely drunk, sleeping while squished together in a seedy neighborhood, wotaing loudly in a moving vehicle, and other various activities I did with people I had never met in real life. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ AX 2017 was hella great for ONIBE bonding. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t think I’ve even used FB for non-work stuff since 2016 lol

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: If this means “I’ve actually met them in person and have had a decent conversation with them”, then maybe a few hundred? But if this means that I actually talk to them on a semi-regular basis, then, like...10, maybe. :’) 23. Do you have any pets: See my answer in the previous chain post I did. tl;dr I had a turtle and a dog in elementary school, but after that, no pets. I’d like to have a dog when I get a place of my own, though. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Watched LLS Episode 13 in the morning and ate Korean BBQ in the evening. 26. What time did you wake up: Today? I honestly don’t remember. Sometime before 9? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Laughing at dumb shit on Twitter and Discord, probably. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The Delayed Viewing for the 2nd Live for the US! I’m making plans to meet up with ONIBE folks again and it’s gonna be ~L I T~ 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Early in the morning. She was like “lol get up and lose some weight” while I was still in bed so I groaned back, “You’re one to talk,” and went back to sleep. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I was gonna say “how about eliminating my student loans haha” but I suppose this is supposed to be a more serious question. I guess it’d be nice if I was a neater person. Like, my room is a total mess right now and I’m terrible at keeping track of things I should be working on... 31. Listening right now: Fun fact - I actually only listen to music while I’m driving. Otherwise, it distracts me from what I should be doing. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup, that was the name of my debate coach when I was in junior high. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People who hate on LL seiyuu. Like, they’re actual human beings who are working really hard to live up to the expectations of thousands - no, millions of people worldwide. To be quite honest, I invite you to tell me if you legitimately want to shit on any one of them (both µ’s and Aqours), because I have yet to see a single person who has had a good justification for doing so. 34. Most visited website: Probably Tumblr/YouTube/Twitter/Reddit, too lazy to figure out which one of those it is.

Jaewhy put in random questions here because they were missing for some reason, so I guess I’ll continue those: 35. Mole(s): I have a few around my face, but other than the one on my right cheek I don’t think they’re that noticeable? I don’t spend a lot of time in the sun like other Californians. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 36. Mark(s): I have a birthmark on the backside of my right shoulder that I’m sort of self-conscious about. It’s the perfect shape for getting a tattoo of a sunflower around it, so maybe I’ll do that some time in the future? 37. Childhood dream: Lawyer. 38. Hair color: I feel like I’ve answered this in a previous chain post, but it’s black. Duh. Though if you hold it up to the sun, some of the ends are more like dark brown. 39. Long or short: Long. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: See #16. Nope. 41. What do you like about yourself: I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time staring at computers/video games and I still don’t need glasses. :D 42. Piercings: No, but I should probably get my ears pierced at some point? 43. Blood type: O. 44. Nickname: Yujacha, but a lot of people shorten it to “Yuja”. 45. Relationship status: Single. 46. Zodiac: Libra, Dog. 47. Pronouns: I feel like it’s obvious what gender I am, so just go with those. 48. Favorite TV show: I don’t really watch TV these days, but if I’m kicking back with some hot cocoa at like 2am I might watch Criminal Minds or something. 49. Tattoos: Nope, but like I said in #36 I’ve been thinking about it. 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Wisdom teeth removal is technically dental surgery. 52. Hair dyed in different color: I had highlights in my hair a few years ago, but they faded real quick. I’m vaguely considering dyeing it brown in the distant future...? 53. Sport: It’s fun to watch the occasional match when there’s a World Cup or Olympic thing going on, but otherwise I have no interest. 54. (A question I came up with since #54 was missing) Extracurricular activities: I was a debate kid for most of my school life, and in college I was in the Korean Club and Student Union. 55. Vacation: Does the 2nd Live DV later this year count? 56. Pair of trainers sneakers *American anthem plays in the distance*: I actually need new ones because I’ve tripped while hiking on at least two separate occasions due to my shitty old sneakers.

More general: 57. Eating: Haven’t yet. 58. Drinking: Wasn’t this literally the first question? 59. I’m about to: Eat. 60. (This question was missing so I'll make one up again) Thinking about: What to eat lol 61. Waiting for: 2nd Live DV~ 62. Want: Money tbh 63. Get married: I’d like to at some point, but at the moment I’m kinda tired of hearing about it from every middle-aged woman who talks to me (including my own mother). 64. Career: Working on it.

Which is better: 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, because they’re warm and comfy and can be shared by complete strangers. 66. Lips or eyes: I was gonna repeat a previous answer and say “eyesmiles” but since this is “lips or eyes” rather than “smiles or eyes”, I guess my answer would fall more under “eyes”. 67. Shorter or taller: Bruh, if someone’s shorter than me then I’d need to check their ID to make sure they’re not jailbait. Taller. 68. Older or younger: I’ve never dated anyone so I honestly wouldn’t know, but I’d probably look for someone close to my age first? 69. (Lmao why was 69 missing :3c I’ll just make something up again) Outgoing or shy: The former, since I’m lazy. If someone doesn’t drag me to places I’ll just lay in bed all day. 70. Nice arms or stomach: It’s actually really hard for females to have a toned stomach, so any gals with abs are like ooh~ 👀 But I actually like hands! I have smol stubby fingers so I really dig people with nice hands. 71. Sensitive or loud: The former, because I don’t need the entire neighborhood to know when I’m gettin’ laid kthnx 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, because sure why not? 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Maybe the former, but if they’re being too much of a lil’ shit then I’d go for the latter instead. I’ve dealt with friends who take like 20 minutes to decide what to order from a menu so I know that feel. :’)

Have you ever: 74. Kissed a stranger: Nope. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I’m pretty sure I annoyed half of ONIBE during AX when I went “haha y’all are blind af” after I found out I was pretty much the only one who didn’t have corrected vision. 77. Turned someone down: I was about to say “no” and then I got a sudden flashback to a certain incident in college, wow thanks for making me remember something I had tried to forget...sooo, uh, yup. 78. Sex on the first date: See #6. 79. Broken someone’s heart: IDK if turning someone down counts as breaking their heart. 80. Had your heart broken: ...yes. I think? 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: Do fictional characters count? 83. Fallen for a friend: Uhhhhh...kind of? It was complicated.

Do you believe in: 84. Yourself: I’d like to think that I do. 85. Miracles: KISEKI DA YO~ ...sorry, I had to. Yeah. 86. Love at first sight: Shukashuu is living proof of this. 87. Santa Claus: Nope, sorry Maki!!! 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure.

Other: 90. Current best friend(s) name: IDK if I have one. :’) 91. Eye color: I’m Asian, take a wild guess. 92. Favorite movie: I don’t really have a favorite, but I did like “Kimi no Na wa.” (Your name.) so much that I made it my phone’s lock screen.

Tagging: I've only tagged people the first time I did one of these and I’m gonna try to keep it that way. If anyone who reads this wants to give it a go, feel free~

[poutypanic]

Finding Purpose Chapter 6

It’s been a while since I have posted this on my Tumblr. Cause I kept forgetting. It’s got six chapters now. You can read them all on AO3:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10529928/chapters/24224508

Fic is rated M, Mild Sexual Content, and Language. Fem!reader

Summary for the chapter: “You and Hanzo adjust to life at Overwatch HQ, with a few hiccups here and there.” 

Summary for the fic: “You’ve been living alone in Hanamura for the past five years, and are content to stay that way. You have a troubled past and have let it isolate you. One night a ruckus is coming from the Shimada Castle. Against your better judgment you check it out, eventually, you end up befriending an archer with a past as equally troubling as yours.This is a romance/fluff and slow burn, coupled with action and angst.”

Standing in the hallway of Overwatch HQ has you feeling small and overwhelmed. You didn’t have a carrier for the dog, so you’re standing there, clutching the poor thing to your chest. You’ve been making a tremendous effort to look tough. And you’re just now realizing that’s the stupidest thing for you to be throwing your energy into. Considering you’re nearly suffocating a small dog to death with your nervous grip.

The welcome into Overwatch isn’t exactly warm or inviting. At least the dog settles in well. She is allowed to roam wherever she’d like and does so. Everyone loves her and accepts her as the Watchpoint pet.

Ana lays out all the rules and what is expected of each of you. She goes on and on about fitness and how the two of you will need to go through training to make sure you’re ready for missions. She says you’ll need to get rid of the “rust” before she trusts you to not die on the field the first time she sends you out. She also states that weapons are not to be taken out into common areas. Unless the facility is under attack, of course.

It’s no surprise that Hanzo is in peak physical condition and passes all of Ana’s tests with flying colors. You, on the other hand, are an entirely different story.

“You are going to have to work on your cardio and agility.”

You groan, “Come on, my cardio isn’t that bad.”

“That bad, is far from good enough.”

Cardio is only fun if you’ve got a destination and a good reason behind it. Every time you start to give Ana a problem with something, Hanzo is standing behind her pleading you to back down with his eyes.

“Alright fine, so how many miles would you recommend?”

She says flatly, “Six. To start.”

“A day!”

“Yes, a day.”

“Is there anything else I can do for cardio that will meet your expectations?”

A boisterous, and light-hearted voice sounds off from behind you, “Did somebody say cardio!”

You look behind you to see a gentleman with a winning smile, and charming good looks. He claps his hands together before offering you one of them to shake, “Hi! It’s nice to meet ya! I’m Lucio!”

Lucio offers Hanzo the same hand. After introductions are out of the way, Ana sighs and crosses her arms across her chest. “No doubt, Lucio, is going to try and sell you on joining his dance class.”

Lucio scoffs, “Now, now! It’s not selling if it’s free!”

“Yes, you are right.” Then she pauses having had a light bulb moment, “It would actually be ideal. Yes, I think his class would be perfect for you.”

You are perturbed. You don’t want to run six miles, and nor do you want to take a dance class. No matter how fun and charming the instructor seems to be. You match Ana’s stance with a hand on the hip, “And why is that?”

Ana is really good at ignoring your attitude, “Dance will help you with both of your biggest weaknesses, cardio, and agility. Two birds, one stone.”

Lucio talks a lot with his hands, and it commands attention without being abrasive. “Come on! I swear, it’s tons of fun! You never know if you don’t like it ‘til you try it huh?”

Lucio clasps his hands together in a begging gesture and gives you a playful pout. God, you can’t even imagine what it’s like to be that outward and pleasant. You instantly like him, and it’s rare for you to instantaneously like someone. How could you say no? And what hurt would it cause to try, “Alright fine.”

Lucio then whips his attention to Hanzo to see if he can get one more sign up. Hanzo holds both his hands up and fervently shakes his head; it’s going to be a hard no from him.

That is how you find yourself the next morning in the gym. In a secluded room in the back, with thinly padded floors and mirrors lining the walls. Here is where you meet another agent named Hana. A petite, and equally as boisterous woman, with a bit of bite. It turns out that this “class” thus far has consisted of just Lucio and Hana. This you are actually thankful for, because you were feeling anxious about having to meet several other agents at the same time. This is far less stressful.

You had no expectations coming into this and yet, you are still shocked. The music is fun, and the dancing hits hard and fast. You end up being impressed with yourself. You didn’t think you’d be able to keep up, or match their moves. But you do fairly well for your first time and feel really good because of it. When you think the class is done, Lucio informs you that they’ve got one last thing they always do at the end to “cool down”.

“Alright, sure, what is it?”

Hana looks at Lucio with a mischievous look and rubs her hands together like she’s a cartoon villain, “We gotta do the routine with the chairs!”

You watch in dramatic horror as Lucio and Hana take three chairs from the rooms back wall and position them in a line.

“Uh, what are we doing?”

Hanna shimmies her shoulders at you, “It’s sultry dance time!”

Your eyes widen, “Um no. I think I’m good.”

Hanna stomps her foot, “You will do the sexy dance or the class will never end.”

“What kind of cryptic nonsense was that?”

Lucio comes in with the middle ground, “Come on! It’s lots of fun and once we get the music going, and you’ve got the moves down, I swear you’re gonna feel awesome!”

You’ve already got a blush on your face, but you give in. You really want to be friends with these two, and if you leave now, you’d be putting a hindrance on that. So you watch them, with an increasing blush the farther they get into the dance. The chairs are only there for the very beginning of the dance. After the first few moves, they dramatically get pushed back to make room for the floor moves. You fall to your knees and flip over onto your back, your legs still tucked underneath you.

You watch as Lucio and Hana both effortlessly lift their hips high up into the air, and you can’t help but start giggling.

“I can’t do it.” You say between giggles.

Lucio hits the mat several times, “Get your hips up!”

Hanna colorfully adds in, “You have to thrust like you’re really giving it to somebody!”

You are full on belly laughing now, “Hana please use a nicer example! I can’t deal with that one!”

Hanna shakes her head. Hips still high in the air, “Thrust them hips! Give it to em, damn it!”

Lucio is crying with laughter as well, “She’s gonna axe us to the side and take the six miles of running in a sec.”

Tears are running down your face, “I’m gonna break something!”

Lucio scoffs, “You’re not ninety years old! No excuses! Do it!”

When you finally do get your hips up, they both sarcastically clap for your success. The rest of the moves are still lewd and way beyond your comfort zone, but you get them down. When Lucio can finally add the music into the mix is when it all finally clicks. It still takes a lot for you not to laugh your way through it, but you hit every step, every drop, and lift. Lucio and Hana are goddamn professionals, keeping faces on the whole entire time that say, Yeah I know you want me. You admire them and wonder what it must be like to have that kind of confidence.

When you walk out of the room, heading for the showers, you find Hanzo leaning against the wall just outside the door.

“Hey, how long you been there?”

“Give or take about ten minutes.”

You squint at him, “Did you see any of that?”

He smiles meekly, “A very little amount.”

You feel the embarrassment flood your cheeks stronger than it ever did during the dance, “That’s too much.”

Hanzo was waiting for you, because he wanted to see if you’d come to practice range with him. And of course, you will. That’s how it is for the next month and a half. You do most things together. You practice with your guns, while he hones his archery. You take the tactical classes Ana had put together herself in the library. You eat together, and meet new people together. You’d like to get around to meeting everybody, but apparently, several agents are away on a mission. One of them being Genji.

You’re not one hundred percent sure if Hanzo is upset or relieved by that. If you had to put money down, it would be on relieved. There are times when Hanzo is nowhere to be found, and that is usually when you get to chatting with people. Now, you’re not exactly a social butterfly, but if people put in most of the effort with the talking, you find it easy to either respond, or just listen.

Hanzo isn’t having any of it. He slips away so quietly that often you don’t notice him go. When you guys make your way into the mess hall, Hanzo always chooses the table farthest away from the group. You could sit with the others, but you’d never leave Hanzo to eat alone. Out of all the friendly greetings, there is one agent who’s greeting wasn’t so friendly. And it’s this agent who is really starting to grind your gears. His name is Jesse McCree.

Right from the get go the vibe wasn’t good with him. The meeting was brief and cold. The two of you had only ever spoken to him once. Ever since your meeting, he avoids all eye contact with you and doesn’t like being in the same room as the two of you. Except of course, when it comes to the mess hall. It seems that the room is big enough for him to deem worthy enough to be in with the two of you.

However, there is this thing he’s been doing lately. Every time he walks in the room, he’s got to stare the two of you down. With his cowboy hat low and a scowl on his face, he throws daggers your way. Hanzo doesn’t notice, because his back is always turned to McCree. There is only so much you can take before you start to feel petty and protective. So you’ve started returning the stare down. You’re only able to get away with this for a couple of days before Hanzo catches you.

“What are you doing?”

You nearly choke on the food you have in your mouth, “I- what? Hmm?”

“Don’t play dumb. What’s that look? What are you up to?”

You shrug, because you like to give him a hard time. Also, because you don’t want to tell him. It’d just cause him stress, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He rolls his eyes and takes a brief look behind him, “Who over there made you angry?”

You place a melodramatic hand to your chest, “I am offended. I am a very cool headed person. Nothing ever makes me angry.”

You almost make yourself laugh. You fight it back, because he is done with you. You can see it all over his face.

You sigh, “Relax. It’s nothing, seriously. It’s—“

Childish is the right word for the situation, but for some reason, the word is escaping you right now. Hanzo pouts and goes back to eating his food, “I’m not going to beg you to tell me.”

You pout too, “You’re not gonna like it.”

“I already don’t like this.”

Fine. If he insists so much on knowing, then you’re just going to have to tell him. So you do, and he says, “Be better than that.”

“Better than what?”

“Than stooping to his level. Stop. Do not do that anymore, please.”

Hanzo has a sinking feeling he knows exactly why McCree doesn’t like you guys. More so him, and he just doesn’t like you by association. This gives him a terrible pang of anxiety. He feels guilty that someone would dislike you, because of his past wrong doings. It’s the only logical reason behind McCree’s scorn. Every Overwatch agent probably feels this way, and some are better at hiding it than others. Or at least, this is what Hanzo thinks.

You agree to knock it off. It’s for the best, and hopefully, it will release some of the bad tension. But you’re not going to make it easy for Hanzo; that just wouldn’t be in your nature. The next day the two of you are sitting in the same spot, and McCree walks in. He stares you down, and to keep yourself from glaring back, you choose to stare obnoxiously at Hanzo instead. Hanzo, who you’ve found eats a tremendous amount. Is focused on his food and takes a full minute to realize that you are being annoying.

Hanzo sighs, “Yes?”

“I’m not staring at him.” You pause. The smile on your face isn’t sweet, but rather mischievous, “I’m staring at you instead.”

For some reason, Hanzo can’t just let himself enjoy your nonsense. He always has to fight with himself, try to put up a front. Like he needs to be serious and can’t enjoy the lighter sides of things. Or rather, doesn’t deserve to.

He has to fight to keep from grinning, “Stop.”

You don’t stop. You continue to stare at his face. Finding yourself admiring the glowing skin. Despite the under eye circles, indicating that he hasn’t been sleeping well. Along with his sculpted angles.

“You ever notice how many angles your face has? You have all of them, you’re hoggin’ them all. That’s not fair, give some of them up. What do you need that many angles for? Be generous.”

You’re in a mood, full of pent up energy, and no doubt from all the workouts you’ve been getting. Because of this, you could go on, and on. And you do, changing different variations of your sentences and words. Hanzo is bright red in the cheeks and has a tight-lipped grin. He’s had the same mouth full of food since you started and only just now was able to get it down.

“Be quiet, please.”

You’re on a roll, a little animated and loud, “I mean, you’re just so fucking handsome. It’s inappropriate how good looking you are. It’s offensive. I want an explanation. Han? What the fuck is with your face and how it looks. Te—“

At some point during your rant, your hands had ended up back on the table. Without any warning, Hanzo grabs them both, and it instantly shuts you up. Now you are the one with a tight-lipped smile and red cheeks. It’s nice, the way his hands feel tightly wrapped around yours, with that warmth that you crave. You can feel some of the agents at the other table starting to stare. He’s holding on for a reason. Letting you know how the embarrassment feels. This isn’t exactly PDA, but it’s still giving you a wild case of the willies.

“Are you gonna let go or what?”

“Are you going to be quiet?”

You nod and try to take your hands back, but he won’t let you have them. Not that you tried very hard. Or that his grip is now any more than featherweight. You could have them back if you really wanted. Hanzo slowly takes his hands away. All the while, keeping an eye on your face to see if you’re going to start up again.

“Have some restraint,” is his last comment he makes to you before going back to eating his fifth dinner roll, intent on eating six.

Days at Overwatch are currently ridged with routine. For right now it’s not something you mind. It makes you feel more comfortable, because you know what your day has in store for you. You’ve actually found yourself dreading the day Ana approaches you with a mission. So you find yourself back in the mess hall, at the same table, with Hanzo, and you’re annoying him yet again by staring. But today is about to be different, and not for good reason.

“Once upon a time you chided me for staring. I believe the word you used was, rude.”

“How do you get your eyebrows to be that perfect? You literally wake up with them looking like that. I’ve seen it. Is it the dragons? Do they do your eyebrows in the middle of REM sleep?”

Hanzo sighs, and hangs his head, burying his face in his hands. If you didn’t know any better, with the way his shoulders are shaking, you would think he was crying. Maybe he is. Neither of you see McCree approaching. Hanzo is too occupied trying to keep his cool, and you’re too engrossed in watching him. He takes a seat next to you, keeping a safe distance and not saying a word.

You notice him first, and your gut reaction is to stare at him with a disgusted face. McCree waits for Hanzo’s attention before going off on a rant.

“Ya’ know the least you could do is answer your damn brother back. I think a simple answer would be a real nice start. All he’s trying to do is talk to ya’. Sending ya’ messages and tryna’ talk to you via the damn comm. He shouldn’t have teh’ beg you teh’ talk to him. That should be the other way around. You must be a fuckin’ chicken shit. You don’t even gotta talk to em’ face to face, and you can’t manage that much? I think it’s the least you could do, considering, Genji is tryin’ and you should be too.”

The whole entire time McCree is tearing into him. You’re wide-eyed, and desperately looking at Hanzo, begging him, Say something! Defend yourself! McCree is done, so he gets up and leaves. You sit for as long as you can manage, waiting for Hanzo to say something. When he doesn’t, you get up and slid across the top of the table to get after McCree faster. Hanzo’s simple sentence, “Have some restraint,” comes to the forefront of your mind, and you push them away, with a fuck that. If he’s not going to defend himself, then you’re going to have to do it.

Your blood is pumping so fast and hard in your ears that you barely hear Ana yelling after you. It’s too late for that; you’re already gone out the door and at half jog, trying to find McCree.

When you find him he is ready for you, “What do you want?”

“You know what’s chicken shit? Ambushing somebody like that, and then running away before anybody has a chance to say shit to you.”

He ignores your comment and immediately tries to go for a sore spot, “Tell me. What kinda person you have teh’ be, teh’ just let a killer into your home?”

Oh, so they’ve been talking about you guys. It’s not surprising, and you’re not mad about that fact. It’s the fact that McCree has the audacity to stand there and try and use it against you that has your blood beyond the boiling point.

“I saw someone who needed a safe place to sleep, so I offered that.” You get closer to him. You don’t care how much bigger he is than you, you’re ready to fight him, “You could have gone about what you did back there in a much more civil fashion.”

“I think I was pretty fuckin’ civil.”

“No, you weren’t. There was a better time and place, along with a better tone and word choice.” Then you decide to go for a sore spot, “Does Genji know you’re speaking for him?”

McCree’s expression turns dark and dangerous, “That’s none’a your fuckin’ business.”

You scoff, “Sounds like a no to me.”

Ana has found you. She runs up and puts her whole body between the two of you saying, “Alright. That’s enough! Separate, right now!”

You and McCree could throw hypothetical punches all day. You’re both hot headed, protective, and undeniably, hopelessly, biased. Nobody but Ana is in the right today. She doesn’t have to say it twice. You’re done and need to find Hanzo.

He’s disappeared. He’s not in the mess hall, not in his room, the gym, library, or the shooting range. You sit and think, where would an archer hide? And then it hits you, because the answer is so obvious. The roof.

So your goal now it to find out how to get there. After about fifteen minutes of searching, you come to the dismal realization that Hanzo wouldn’t need stairs to get onto the roof. The jerk would have just climbed up there. Finally, out on the small track and field that the facility has, you find a ladder. Even on a thing made for climbing, you nearly fall twice but make it onto the roof safely. Your instincts were right, because there he is. All the way on the other side, cross-legged, and sitting on the edge of the roof.

It’s windy up here. The golden scarf he is always wearing is blowing in the wind, his hair whipping around along side it. He knows you’re there, but doesn’t turn to acknowledge you. Now that you’re up here, you realize you hadn’t thought of a thing to say to him during your search. Oh well, you’ll just have to wing it.

You take a seat next to him and wait to see if he might want to say something first. What he says was not worth waiting for, “Would you do me a favor?”

“Hmm? Sure.”

“Kill me.”

“Okay, now wait a fuckin’ second.” You can’t help but laugh, “Listen, you gotta at least give me a good reason first.”

“McCree is right. I can only begin to imagine what you said to him.”

“There might have been some truth in his words, but Han you didn’t deserve to hear them like that.” You take a deep breath. Getting yourself ready to really get into it, “It that true? Genji’s been trying to contact you?”

He nods and looks away into the sunset.

“I have tried, I swear it. I type up responses. Long ones, and then, I stare at them, unable to send them. When I hear his voice, it feels like knives in my gut. It is so familiar, and yet so different. It’s my fault. It’s that way because of me. The knives are my own doing.”

You swallow a hard lump in your throat. It’s welling up, because you really don’t know what to say. You’ve only got a small piece of advice, “I think you’ll feel a little better if you just send one of them to him. Just get it done. Once the line of communication is open, hopefully, it’ll get easier.”

Hanzo is silent, deep in thought, and trying to gather the courage to take your advice. It’s not coming to him though. He’s feeling helplessly trapped by fear. It’s unrelenting and will not allow him to do what is best.

“Sometimes,” you start. “Anxiety is an asshole, a bitch, a straight up cunt. Maybe you should just let me press send for you? I won’t snoop. I’ll just give that send button the good pressing it deserves and wants.”

His mouth drops open, and for the first time in ten minutes he looks at you, “Vulgar!”

“Don’t change the subject. Let me press it.”

He stares at you confused, but aware that you are trying it.

“Lemme press your send button.”

“Stop.”

“You know, you tell me to stop a lot.”

“I think that says more about you than it does me.”

“What? All I’m saying is you should let me press it. What’s wrong with one person pressing another persons send button?”

There it is, the little upturn of his lip that lets you know he’s trying not to be amused. “Does your mind ever cease?”

“No, and seriously, is there anything I can do to help you?”

“You have helped enough.”

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence. You scoot closer to him, pressing your arm to his, and laying your head down on his shoulder. Hanzo takes a hold of your hand and pulls it over onto his knee. The sunset is especially beautiful with, greens, purples and blues, all weaving into each other. Big fluffy clouds that are like cotton candy, as if you could reach up and grab it right out of the sky. The air is crisp and refreshing, clearing your mind, and coaxing you into feeling tranquil.

Hanzo’s thumb runs across the top of your hand, “May I ask you a question?”

You nod against his shoulder.

“How have you been sleeping?”

You shrug.

“There’s a renowned doctor here. Perhaps she could help you.”

If you didn’t have a fear of medication, and an unhealthy mindset that it would be weak of you to take them, you might have considered it.

“I don’t know about that.”

“It worries me. Ana could give us a mission anytime. You shouldn’t go into such dangerous situations deprived of something as essential as sleep.”

“Hmm,” you really don’t want to see Angela about this.

Hanzo gently lifts your chin up, so that you are looking at him. You’re a fool for teasing him so much, because he knows your weakness now. He has your gaze, has you trapped in his warm brown eyes. He speaks soft and low, his voice smooth and deep. It’s nearly hypnotizing.

“It’s not only a danger to you, but to the people who are counting on you to have their back. Don’t you want a decent sleep schedule?”

You hear him; you really do, and of course, you’d like to be able to sleep regularly. You don’t have an answer, because you’re unashamedly gazing at his plush lips. They’re giving you tingles in funny places. You hum, and sigh through your nose.

He says, “Relationships are about compromise, yes?”

“That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Let’s make an agreement. You go and see the doctor, and I will send Genji a message, tonight.”

That’s a deal you can’t refuse, “You got it.”

Hanzo now rubs his thumb across your bottom lip. The way it parts ever-so-slightly from your top one has his core warming up. He kisses your top and bottom lip individually, sending a shiver throughout your entire body. He’s thinking about pushing you back onto the roof, about using his mouth to pull moans from you. He’d like to know what they sound like. He wonders if you are loud, or quiet and restrained. He smiles to himself as he thinks the word, restrained. As if you’d be restrained, but then again, you could surprise him.

Still grinning, he kisses you again. This time with an increased amount of passion. The moan that Hanzo wants to hear almost escapes your throat, but gets caught between an intake of breath and the little bit of tongue that is playing at your lips. The warmth from your tongue sends Hanzo’s thoughts into whole new unchaste places.

When Ana interrupts the moment, you nearly fall off the roof, because she scared the hell out of you. Ana ignores that the two of you were just making out on the roof, like two teenagers who don’t have anywhere better to do it, and gets right down to business. You have a brief conversation with Ana, she was worried the two of you might be thinking about leaving. No. As of right now, you’re both not going anywhere. She is glad to hear it, and informs you that a week from today you’ll be going on your first mission.