#azriel fanficition

[mommyofkittens]

A Court of Fallen Heroes: Chapter 11 - END OF PART 1: Pit of Despair

The Vespertus

Author's P.o.V:

          The night wasn't as merciful as Cyan had imagined before the mission started, as she had hoped and as that dreadful feeling of impending doom was settling deep inside her marrow, the only thought she had in mind w9as that someone betrayed them. Someone who played his cards better than her little band of bandits and outwitted them, outfoxed five brains.

           Hypnotized by the moving shadows she imagined, Cyan stared into the pitch-black fog that rose between the scrawny trees. There was only empty silence in her eardrums, broken only by Niven's sharp gasps or Malou's heavy breathing passing by the side of her head. They peered at her from behind those lanky trees, dancing on Kallus' splattered blood, following Cyan's arrythmic heartbeats.

          Someone sold us out. Someone killed Kallus. No. He's not dead. He can't be. But his blood is everywhere. Maybe he fought back, he's really hurt out there in the forest. Of course he fought back, but Malou said there's no trace of his scent anywhere near.

          " We have to keep moving. " Malou gathered her strength, refreshed by the freedom, and watched the brunette, whose name she hadn't quite caught yet. She tried to muster some empathy, some compassion for the faith of the girl's father, for her grief, but these long, never-ending years, the losses she, herself had suffered, left her feelings freeze to death. When no answer came from the one she thought was the leader, she turned to the human who was barely holding Malou on her narrow shoulders.

         Is this the Falling Star  the Old Word spoke of? Malou refrained from showing her distrust and studied the human's gentle profile. Tree digits were imprinted deep in the roundness of her cheek, rosy and anfractuous, murdering that innocent, smooth facade. By their color variation, from pink on the edges and fierce magenta in the center and the way they were perfectly aligned and symmetrical and the vague smell of sulfur, she guessed a creature gifted it to her. A departing memory.

          " The guards will discover us and your plan will fail. " She could feel the heaviness of her eyes settling on Malou's relentless features. This girl's green eyes did not know an easy life, her questioning gaze electrified Malou, somehow ravishing the last remnants of her warrior instincts she burried deeply inside her subconscious. Cyan's eyes reminded her of a long lost partner, of a forgotten devotion she had once bravely held.

          Malou's mouth went into a straight line, building back her strong, garnet walls. Cyan's eyes softened rapidly, letting the fragile side of humanity come back. 

      " You're weak. " Malou felt the need to strike the girl with ferocity, wanting that second of bravery she held moments ago to come back. " This is not a world where pretty eyes and soft souls survive. I can smell your emotions a mile away. Imagine what it feels like when I'm so suffocatingly close to you, girl. Do something and get us moving! "

          Cyan's face fell, her insides twisted once more before she erased those shadows from the corners of her eyes and tried to put her brain to work. It must've been at least twenty minutes since Niven sunk herself to the ground, moving back and forth, trapped in a trance. Her knees were probably frozen, soaked with mud. Cyan grimaced as she heard the ghostly sound of a heart breaking and breaking again and again, washed by the rain that fell more gently, as if taking pity on their misfortune.

           The wind, however, grew wilder, entering the corners of their massive armor, making a home inside their bones. Cyan's jaw started to tremble uncontrollable as she struggled to move Malou inside the carriage, her iron shoes slipping on the mixture of mud and blood. Their only luck tonight was the full moon, which provided enough light for them to see the disaster around them. 

         " I'll lock the door. Don't make a sound. If we lose you too, it will all be for nothing. " Cyan whispered so softly that even Malou's sharp hearing couldn't hear all the words, but she agreed, already reading her intentions to protect her at all costs.

          The old woman gasped, irritated at the way her body had grown heavy and useless. The only things that had remained untouched were her most primitive assets: her sense of smell, her sight, her hearing, even her ingrained instinct to fight. Malou gathered the velvet cushion in her bony fists and repositioned herself on the carriage floor. She sniffed her old woman scent and almost threw up, disgusted by her pathetic condition. But she should be back in shape in less than a day. If she even made it to the next day.

         Mother of all we know, keep my body agile and my soul free. Mother of all we feel, may my blade be sharp and my focus steady. Mother of all we are, let the path be hard and my enemy fierce so I can win my place beside your righteousness.

          Malou's prayer rose to the sky like a chanted spell, soothing the aching pain of the wind. A bandage on a stinging wound.

          Suddenly, she felt wrong as she thought about throwing those hostile words at the girl. A mentor shouldn't be angry and hateful, harsh, yes, but not hateful. She was showing hate towards a woman who came to save their world, who was about to experience the breaking point of her initiation tonight. A fatal heartbreak. Malou knew that the Vespertus could come in all shapes and forms: faes, half-faes, witches, elves, dwarves, even humans. But the latter died more easily during the transformation. The rate of a successful Passing was lower than that of any other species, but the powers they inherited when it was over could destroy this world as easily as they could protect it. Humans fed their fire with ambition and love.

          Malou gathered her palms and prayed again, this time for the girl who was fighting for their lives outside.

           In the middle of the night, Cyan's desperation flooded the area. Her hands shook as if she'd been drinking all night and her steps were hesitant. She felt the guilt eating away at her stomach, her lungs, her voice. In the back of her mind, she had a clue as to who might be the one to drag her through such misery, but she vehemently refused to admit that he was to blame for her failure and that she was guilty through him. She was the one who had betrayed them. 

          " Niven. " She calls for the millionth time, trying to lift the girl's limp body from the ground. How could she be heavier than Malou? '' We have to go, we need to finish the mission, otherwise Kallus's sacrifice will be for nothing. ''

          " I don't care. Soon, I'll be dead too... " 

          " Please, don't say this. You are my hope, Nivy. " The stinging in Cyan's eyes diminished the moment she let those hungry tears eat her face, the string in  her throat grew tighter around her vocal cords. " We have to live! "

          Niven's hollow gaze took in the desperation in Cyan's features, her rich brows now tossed by the helmet, her well-structured nose reddened by the cold air, her parted lips now cracked and bleeding from Cyan's white teeth. Nivy's tearful gaze made Cyan glow in the moonlight like a true goddess in disguise, the planet perfectly aligned with her head. She saw a crown of stars dancing around the redhead's temple, the darkness only helping it to shine brighter. " It's already happening... The Mother of the Helpless. "

          Cyan began to cry harder, sobbing louder as she watched her soul sister slowly lose her mind. She pulled harder, digging her gloves into Niven's shoulder blades, finally lifting her large body.

          Something else made them stop. It seemed like the sound was coming from everywhere, a rhythmic gallop rushing through the night, a terrifying sound when you're left all alone in the woods. Cyan felt an ache deep inside her heart, a warning from her vital organ that it was reaching its endurance limits. She straightened her back and muttered a curse in her native tongue. Niven's bloodshot eyes widened, her posture shifted a fraction, becoming slightly more aggressive, but the fire she held a few hours ago was clearly extinguished, only embers remaining beneath her skin.

          " I'll take care of it. " Niven stumbles on her wobbly legs and raises her palms above her head with her last ounce of strength, bringing a weak, flickering golden halo to life around her wrists. 

          Cyan lifted the spear from the ground, trying her best to concentrate on the sound and where it came from. She watched as it's sharp end glowed with yellow and white light coming from Nivy's moving fingers, reflecting her blossoming powers. The mixture of black wood and metal slid under Cyan's sweaty palms, shaking like a candlelight in the wind. Remnants of someone's blood got caught under her nails, raising the bile in her throat.

          The earth shakes beneath their feet, cracking and releasing thick tree roots, monstrous and twisted by time. Moles flee from under the ground, frightened by the sudden earthquake, and hide in the depths of the eerie forest. Wolves howl in the distance and birds of the night fill the sky, trying to escape. The redhead stares in awe as pure magic erupts from Niven's body, yellow as a sunny day, illuminating half the forest. A strong smell of freshly dug earth fills her nostrils, and she glances around, noticing the branches squeak as they are finally allowed to move, guided by the golden mist.

          By the second the sounds grew louder and closer, a shield had already formed around them.

          " Wait! Wait!..." Cyan cries, throwing down the spear. A familiar horse whine rises through the night, like a triumphant trumpet announcing victory. The girl almost kneels in relief, her nerves already stretched thin. " How is this possible? "

          The horse rose on her hind legs, as if to signal that she was no danger to them, and then, as she slowly approached them, another pair of small eyes came into view.

          Niven's hands remain suspended in the air as bewitched as her companion was, mouth slightly agape. " Did mom send you? "

          A small piece of content filled their hearts, knowing there was still a way out of this forest, a chance to find Kallus. Cyan rushes through the branches, not thinking clearly, and runs to hug her friends. A few thorns kiss the outside of her face, but she doesn't seem to feel anything as she presses her forehead against the horse's to show her appreciation. " Misty... What happened to the farm? " She asks, raising her palm to touch the cat's wet hair. " We have to go back!  "

𓆩✴𓆪

         As surprising as it sounded, the Spymaster managed to lose his only suspect faster than he expected. Or rather, faster than his hundreds of years of experience would have allowed. He let the girl go for a single reason: there were more important matters to attend to that required his attention more urgently than a deceptive hunch. Even if his instincts never lied to him, Eris and everything else could wait a little longer.

          By no means did he get rusty or too old. No. He just started the mission on the wrong foot. Everything tasted bitter on the tip of his tongue from the beginning, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He had to see it through. Even if they were a family, Rhysand wouldn't allow him to start picking and choosing which missions he wanted to go on. 

          Was this a bad time to consider that his younger brother was pulling rank on him? 

          After that upside down turning stomach of a dinner, the Shadowsinger was led into the chamber that was to be his home. He quickly had his companions search the large, dark room, lit only by a few candles. When no spells or dangers were found, he disappeared, hiding in the dungeons beneath the castle.  

          Azriel felt the dense layer of magic that prevented anyone from teleporting into the prison cells, but his way of traveling through shadows was no simple magic, and there weren't many wards that could prevent him from taking a look inside. After all, everything casted a shadow, from the most mundane objects to the darkest corners of the earth. Well, at least everything that was touched by a soul or had a soul. Wrapped in the compact layer of blackness, he followed the muffled sounds.

          No one was getting killed on his watch.

          With a deft finger, he covered the lower half of his face with his mask and drew two of his daggers from the shadows, ready to strike from the pitch-black corner. Two torches came into view and the other inmates began to shout and bang on the iron bars. The damp atmosphere grew louder with groans and the air became even harder to breathe, full of a fetid and cadaverous odor.  

          A harsh line appeared between Azriel's brows as he finally saw two guards dragging down the chopped stairs the servants from earlier, both half-unconscious. A sense of justice boiled inside his nerves, frigid as a bleak winter. His joints strained under the pressure of his arched stance, like a bow ready to shoot. The Shadowsinger waited no longer, already full of their poor ways of treating women. The hulking men suspected nothing as one of Azriel's daggers sliced through the night, fast and steady, and plunged into one of their throats. Blood splattered everywhere from the small and fatal wound, aided by the gurgling sound of him choking on his own fluids. In the blink of an eye, he was writhing like a fish on dry land, franticly trying to cover his sliced neck. 

          One of the women began to scream as red droplets landed on her uncovered face, waking her from her sleep. Two hands appeared from behind the iron bars, dirty and rat-nicked all over their forearms, and dragged the twitching body close to the cells. Everyone was horrified as another pair of hands emerged from another dark cell and began to rip the guard's skin off in a violent attempt to avenge the years they had been imprisoned down there and the horrors they had endured. Skinned alive, the man endured several minutes of torture, praying loudly to die faster.

          " Show yourself! " The other managed to scream, his black eyes desperately searching the empty halls. He tried to remove what was left of his friend from the cells, but the starving people they threw here were hungry for justice. The torch lay forgotten on the ground, sizzling in the pool of blood that was already forming.

          A riot broke out in the dungeons beneath the castle. Metal cups banged against the walls, people screamed and screamed as they pinned their limbs to the corridor separating the cells. Someone threw fecal matters on the guards armor, disturbing his stance.

          " La la, la la la, Death has come to collect the prize. La la, la la la, and he has you on his file. " A prisoner sings, laughing like a crow. The guard bangs his sword on the iron bars, trying to keep the situation under control, but he has no idea that Azriel could also thrive in chaos.

          The Shadowsinger reveals himself in the dim light, radiating power, terror, and a thirst to kill. His illyrian leathers were his second skin, molding into his muscles, instilling fear in his opponent. The only thing the poor man could see were the Spymaster's eyes, empty and sinister, like a dreadfull story told around a campfire.

          " I knew you were a bad omen. " The man squeaks, shivering.

         There was no point in wasting more time talking and as the man moves to deliver a blow, Azriel spins through the large opening created by the man's raised arms and stabs him between the ribs with lethal grace. The guard howls in agony, the prisoners cheering the pain, but the Shadowsinger has had enough of the show. To end the man's misery swifter, he silently moves behind him and breaks his neck with his bare hands.

          " Please don't hurt us. " The white-haired one speaks, holding the other woman tightly in her arms. " We are innocent, someone set us up... Please... "

          " I know. " Azriel speaks calmly and takes off his masks to ease the tension. All he needed now was to frighten them more than they already were, and he didn't want that. " I'm here to free you. I'll fly you to your homes, but you must leave the city tonight. Are you able to do that? "

          " There is a ship leaving for the continent tonight, but we are too many and I don't know if I can afford the price. " The older woman speaks, caressing the sleeping face of the other.

          There were no words left to say as Azriel places a bag of golden coins inside her fist, then winnows them both outside the castle, as far as possible from any danger. 

          " May the Daughter spare you... " Is all that he hears before he vanishes back to finish his bussiness.

          The Fallen Star to spare him? How many people knew about the existence of this woman? How many people were after her? Funny, The Shadowsinger snorted, I should be the one to show her mercy, not the other way around.

          Well, the man knew that after his little circus trick, he only had a day or two before anyone noticed the real culprit who managed to start a riot in those prison cells. Now he could finally focus on his real mission. Worryingly, the only thing he knew about the girl was the color of her eyes, and frankly, not even that was entirely true. 

          Were they slightly more blue, gray, or more green than usual because of the distance?

           Azriel shakes his head, feeling violated by the unexpeted toughts. Who cares what the girl's eyes looked like? Who cares why she was sent to their lands? Who cares about the girl's destiny as long as she tramples on the lives of others for her own sake? He was beginning to believe that she wasn't as blessed and holy as the pictures in the book made her out to be, how the stories he heard made her sound like a peace bringer. She was a ruthless human and all Azriel wanted was to finish the damn job and hand it over to Rhysand to take care of.

          As Azriel was striding through those empty halls, whispers caught his attention. He puffs, almost amused at how this night was going to unfold for him and anyone involved. He rubs his palms over his tired face, already tasting the last remnants of patience left in him. When was the last time he fucking slept for more than two hours without being disturbed by an emergency? 

          Swallowing his dissatisfaction, he gathers his strength and becomes a shadow. By the Mother, this was going to be a long and tiring mission for him. Azriel hoped to at least get a good night's sleep by the time he returned to the Night Court.

          As he reached the next corridor, the illyrian noticed a slender boy haggling with one of the onyx guards the king always carried for protection. From the look of the wing, luxurious and well-lit with large candles, Azriel guessed that this was Draegan's side of the castle, the one he shared with his accolites and whores. The guard nods and knocks three times on the carved door before slipping his covered head into the chamber.

          The human grows impatient, his raven hair tied in a low ponytail beginning to unravel from his frustrating lack of steadiness. He raises his hands and tries to tighten it a bit. Azriel squints, spoting the drops of blood at the bottom of his blouse and the large stains that cover his pants and shoes. His movements are nervous, his posture tense, as if he had just murdered someone and didn't want anyone to find out. He turns his head from side to side to make sure no one sees him, as if he was about to reveal a life-threatening secret. The Shadowsinger inhales, sniffing his emotions and chokes: panic, hesitation, anger, rage, thirst for vengeance, and guilt, guilt, so much guilt that Azriel nearly drowns from the smell alone.

          " What have you done, boy? " Azriel whispers, detecting the dubious amount of sulfur emanating from the human's body.

         Draegan steps out in the hallway, half naked, and grabs the boy by the collar of his blouse, throwing him against a wall. There's a quick exchange of information that Azriel doesn't hear very well, then he watches the boy stumble backwards, his green eyes wide in shock.

          " Take the Death Patrol, burn the town, burn the farm, burn the whole damn forest if you have to! " Draegan shouts, pushing his guard against the wall as well. " Don't let anyone live. I don't want hostages, I don't want witnesses, I don't want collateral damage. I don't care if you find them. I only want dead bodies! Do you understand?! The Dark One wants answers that I clearly don't have. How did they manage to walk right under my nose?! They want to crown her on my throne! "

           The guard nods almost hysterically as he takes in all of his king's wishes. The green-eyed boy bows his head deeply.

          " I did everything I could to buy some time. I even killed my father, for you, my fierce king! " The boy drops to his knees, kissing Draegan's feet. " She washed their minds, she stole their hearts and eaten their souls! If we get there fast enough, if we manage to end her life before anyone else, there will be a higher chance of turning her into a Tiamat - A Dark Verpertus, a star driven by chaos. "

          Tiamat? The Daughter... The Fallen Star. " Vespertus " Azriel mumbles, coming to the horrible realization that Hybern knew of the comet woman's existence. 

          " What the fuck... '' Draegan suddenly turns blue and places a ringed hand on his torso. Black vomit spews out of his mouth, scattering all over the red walls and blue carpets. " That bi-... Aaah! " The king screams in pain as he falls to the floor, convulsing like a rabid dog. " I can't breathe! Ugh... "

          " Sire! "

          Doors open on both sides of the corridor, and more faes gather around the king, trying to help him to his feet..

           " He's been poisoned! " A Fae shouts, sticking two fingers down Draegan's throat. " Call Nimue! Who was he with in his chamber?! "

         " She's gone, the blonde girl. " Another shouts after checking the bedroom. " You idiots, move faster! The king is dying! "

         " What was he poisoned with? " A white-haired man asks as he pours water on Draegan's twisted face. 

          One of the faes from the dinner table comes out with an empty glass of wine and inspects it. He rubbs his finger on the purple stains and smells them. " Tell that fucking witch to come faster, he's been poisoned with the Night Shade. "

𓆩✴𓆪

          Mother of all we feel, Mother of all we know, Mother of all we are, Mother, Mother...

          Malou's prayer seemed to surround them, to protect them, to purify them, but the Mother vowed never to interfere in human or fae affairs; the Mother bound herself to never be able to touch the material world. The Mother made her fair share of sacrifice when she allowed her only Daughter to be torn apart by the world the Mother's Father had created.

          The Goddess wasn't even able to persuade the Fates as they started to cut string after string that night. One blind, one deaf, one mute. More lives were taken in less than two hours than in a day of war. The blind one chooses the strings so that no one could say her judgment was unjust. The deaf one cuts so that she never hears the pleas. The mute one discards them so that she can never say where the Gardens are hidden.

          The Mother could only watch as Malou took her rigged breath inside the carriage, while Niven rode wildly back to what was left of the farm. The goddess only blew a gentle wind into the mare's hooves, making her faster, swifter, more agile and glued her eyes and prayers to her only child, now left alone in the viper's lair. The Fates could only guide Cyan to her destiny, but they could never warn her about those dangerous steps she was about to take. 

          Cyan hid her cat in her armor, needing the warmth and reassuring touch of her loyal companion, and entered the castle with a dagger in her hand. She left her helmet in those woods, as well as some of her innocence. Her face was dirty with mud and dust, droplets of dried blood were splattered across glher temples and nose. She berated herself for forcing her body through those branches, but the sting of those cuts kept her anchored in reality. The tree claw marks on her cheek turned blood red from the harsh wind they endured with the carriage in pieces to make it easier for the mare to carry all that road.

          Her scalp was itchy, the low bun she had made was disheveled, her eyes were teary and sore and she wanted someone to answer for the loss she had suffered tonight. Cyan kept doing it, losing her mind in that satisfying, grim fantasy: stabbing and stabbing and demanding one life in exchange for Kallus's, thirsty and twitching with anxiety. She could see the sharp blade make a precise incision right in that fae's Adam's apple, stealing his breath and voice forever.

          Brutally, Cyan shoved two fingers into her eyeholes, trying to stay as neuter as possible.

          To her surprise, the castle was... empty. Or at least asleep. Either way: it wasn't a good sign the fact that she could venture head straight into Hybern's heart. Cyan wondered if it wasn't a trap someone had set for her. She would be grateful. Maybe this joke of a life would end sooner than she expected and she could return to the other joke of a life in the other universe. She mustered a smile that she quickly wiped away in pain. Her lips were too chapped and dehydrated and any expression drew blood from her skin.

          " Where the hell am I going? " Cyan wondered, still walking between the corridors.

          Quick footsteps could be heard behind her, and she hid around the corner, ready to pounce on anyone who came her way. Her anger drove her mad and robbed her of her wise decision making. The cat dug her claws into her chest, a warning to be careful. Cyan blew out the candles on the walls and cloaked herself in the darkness, aware that there was someone in this castle who thrived in the shadows and never slept. As soon as the footsteps lined up with her position, she let out an angry moan and knocked one of the people down.

           " Eris?! " The blade nicked his perfect jaw, leaving a path of fresh blood to stain the collar of his green tunic, but she never withdrew the blade. " You betrayed me! "

          Eris Vanserra was as beautiful and graceful as ever, wide-eyed and a bit disheveled from the attack. Cyan nearly lost her grip on the dagger hill, too stunned. The girl opened her mouth to avoid inhaling his scent of leaves and embers, concentrating on the way his firm and narrow hips felt between her thighs. She realized too late that it was the wrong thing to do, shying away and losing her defiant posture.

          " Cyan... " His hands remained glued to the floor, fully aware of the woman's state of shock, and he pleaded with her gently. " I didn't say anything. I swear on my mother. ''

          The man looked a little bored by the situation, but treated Cyan like a porcelain doll as he gently stroked the side of her hip with his slender fingers, trying to bring her to a state of lucidity. He drew his thin brows high on his forehead, bombarding the poor girl with sincere and warm amber eyes.

           " Cyan, what happened to you? " A pale hand reaches for her shoulder and she wips her wild eyes at the woman behind her. " Oh... By the gods... He's telling the truth. "

" I could never do this to you. I promise... "

          Cyan felt a pang of guilt betray her confidence. She remembered from the books that the only person Eris loved most besides himself was his mother, and he had just taken a vow under her name. Her cruel eyes softened as she gazed at an angelic Aoife, barely covered by the horrible nightgown Draegan must have forced her to wear.

          " You managed to escape him... " Cyan muttered, observing a crimson pink blossom on her hollow cheeks. " Did he... "

          " Eris helped me. " Aoife praised Vanserra, staring at him as if he was a prince on a white horse. " Where is everyone else? "

          Aoife immediately regretted her question as she watched Cyan's entire complexion turn from red to white, as if she had seen a ghost.

          " Someone attacked and took Kallus while we were inside the prison. We don't know if he's still alive, but... The amount of blood -... It covered the whole damn place... " Cyan continues, strangling Eris with one shaky hand. She was on top of his large body, trying her best to keep him on the ground with the weight of her body. " Not even the storm was able to wash all that blood. Even the horses were killed. The blood dripped from everywhere - like a sacrifice. You were the only one who knew everything and I gave that information to you so freely! "

         A nerve pumped in her temple, making Cyan dizzy. She knew that Eris could topple her at any moment. He was a fae after all, he was stronger and faster, even smarter. But Cyan had a fierce fire burning in her veins, pumping and roaring. She would give her life to kill Eris if he was the traitor. But that ball of accumulated and trapped emotions made her chest swell, like a balloon ready to burst. 

          All of a sudden she regarded the blood covering her armour, moistening her hair, covering her face and palms like a plague. Kallus's blood was all over her body. Cyan bit her tongue until she felt iron drip down her throat. Tears streamed into her clouded irises as she saw Eris' pitiful face blurry. 

          Aoife covers her mouth with a thin hand and kneels beside their bodies, cupping Cyan's unrecognizable face in her cold palms, " It wasn't him. "

          Misty doesn't linger inside her master's armor and swings a sharp claw at Aoife, trying to protect Cyan from any harm that might come her way. The cat's still wet ears perk up and she hisses, warning Aoife to keep her hands to herself. Her eyes go wide in shock at the so-called ace up Cyan's sleeve. 

          A shudder breaks Cyan from her killing fantasy and she pulls the sharp end of the dagger from Eris' face, waiting. " It's true. " A rough voice finally comes from behind her, warming and cooling her at the same time. " Someone else ruined your plan. " He continues, moving closer to her compromising position.

          Bugs seem to crawl up Cyan's spine as she feels those hate-filled, glowing eyes clawing at her. She pushes her eyes with two fingers, trying to regain control of her toughts, and when Eris finally manages to escape between her legs, she collapses backwards, resting her weight on Azriel's knees. The cat recognizes him and hisses again, growling.

          Cyan lifts her head in time to see the corner of his full mouth move as if he recognized her cat, but his face suddenly changed to greet her with a death stare. " If your mouth runs as easily as your emotions drive you, then I can imagine why your plan went downhill. "

          " Don't be so harsh, Spymaster, not everyone is as perfect as you. " Eris helps Cyan to her shaky feet, trying to put some distance between the girl and the deadly assassin. A bold shadow curls toward them, but Aoife pulls Cyan further away, unsure of the fae's intentions and waves a hand in front of her, thinking that the tongue of darkness could dissipate as easily as smoke would.

          The redhead didn't have a comeback ready, still terrified by the way his form enveloped her in its own shadow, like a gigantic volcano ready to fry everything in its path. His bony, pointed wings rose behind him like two warning signs she was prepared to ignore. She was too exhausted, too traumatized, and too sad to be intimidated by anyone more than she already felt in this world.

          " We should leave, Cyan. " Aoife speaks, her eyes closely glued to Azriel's terrifying aura. She notices the sharp ends of several blades coming out of his pockets and swallows thickly. " I thought you were stripped of them ."

          " I was. " Azriel admits, scorching the green-eyed girl like a pig on a roaster. " Don't you want to find out who ratted you out? I'd be deadly curious. "

          Cyan slowly lifts her eyes and cursed herself for allowing such handsome and grim man to make her want to be small and unseen. She could swear he was jogging with the words in that sentence, but her mind was too foggy to play his game.

          " How do you know who betrayed us? " Cyan found her courage to speak, her voice barely above a whisper. God, that rage really ate her energy.

          Eris places himself strategically in front of the girls, his gold and green suit shinning boldly under the candlelight, " Don't let him fool you, the Shadowsinger always know everything. " Eris rises his chin to Azriel, disposing that charming facade he wore in the last days. 

          The illyrian can't help but chuckle in response to Vanserra's way of playing his cards and bows his head to the left, challenging the other male. He feels his shadows closing in on the redhead, trying to get inside her head. Out of the corner of his eye, Azriel watches the so-called Cyan, noticing her poor appearance. She seems to have been taken out of a book of horrors, the kind he used to read as a child, about witches, curses and deadly battles. From the looks of it, if he moved fast enough he could land a blow to her knees and have her winnowed by the time Eris even had the chance to look behind.

          " Much to your surprise, I don't. A boy came to Draegan's chamber and warned him right after he was poisoned. I don't know who he is. " Azriel gave in, stinging Aoife with an all knowing look. He held no remorse, no accusation against her, only a warning that he knew who did it. 

          " Night Shade. " Cyan lets a breath escape her dry lips, but does not return Aoife's stunned gaze. " But where is everyone else? "

          Azriel places a wide foot to the right, trying to get a better look at his most coveted prize, trying to memorize her features. Or whatever he could make out behind all the dirt and bruises that covered her oval face. " Indeed, it was Night Shade. They left towards the city. I managed to stop some of them, but they are too many and the onyx guards are harder to kill than the simple, fae ones. Who attacked you? "

          He had to admit that he was a little shocked to find himself in front of the comet woman, or The Fallen Star, as everyone preferred to call her, but he was also a little disappointed when he saw her size and the pitiful way she carried herself. How was a human like her going to save their world? Azriel just couldn't see it happen. Cyan was young, weak, and from the looks of it could barely take a few blows. She had no muscular build under that armor and he couldn't sense any type of magic, only sweat and rain. How could someone like her survive such a fall?

          Cyan's eyes were turbid, a mass of blue and green and gold - a chaotic ocean. She looked like she drank all night fae wine and never recovered. " That's none of your bussiness. When did they left? What did the boy look like? "

          " They must've really hit you in the head if you imagine I'll tell you so you can go around looking for him. " The Shadowsinger came closer, ready to snatch her and just leave Hybern behind, but Eris threw a hand in front of Cyan, sensing his intention.

          " She won't. " Vanserra swears, but Azriel could easily spit on any promise the Autumn Court made. " Now indulge the lady and answer! "

          " What do I get in return? "

          " I believe you're here for the same thing everyone is. " Cyan considered, watching Eris swallow his words. " So I'll come with you. "

         Aoife and Cyan stared at the Shadowsinger as he took his eyes off the pray he had finally caught and stabbed Eris with his piercing gaze instead, satisfied with the way everything had suddenly gone his way. " Tempting, but how do I know you're not going with the Autumn Heir? "

          " I'll let one of your shadows come close so it can bind me to you. "

          Soft green and violent amber crash together as Cyan finally finds the courage to set her eyes on Azriel's. Her mouth goes into a straight line letting her guard down, blown away by the power he held only in his gaze. She can see the wheels turning in his head, the barely visible tensed muscle in his fine jaw, the bright glow of victory in his irises. He seemed to have everything under control, calculating every outcome, solving every problem that might arise. Even if she managed to escape him, he would hunt her down on every continent, offended that she had broken her promise.

          Maybe this was her chance to go to Prythian and then back home. But there was no proof that they would help her, there was no proof that things weren't different in reality than in the books. What if they were evil and would do anything to save their world, including willingly letting her die? What if they tortured her to find out how she ended up here?

          In silence, a skilled tongue of smoke curls around Cyan's wrist. holding her in a leash. Goosebumps break out all over her forearm, sliding down to her fingers like a frozen ice cube. Their grip feels like millions of needles were pinching her skin, tight enough to leave a mark behind. She closes and opens her eyes a few times, convincing herself that the deep shadow is indeed alive and flattening around her. Before she can give Eris a sideways glance, Azriel is already blurting out all the information.

          " It was a raven haired boy, slender, not taller than the blonde girl, a pony tail, covered in blood, green eyes. "

          Cyan swallowed, taken aback. It was impossible. 

          " It can't be him. " Aoife spoke to the redhead, still clinging to her left arm. 

          Azriel didn't even notice the short chemise the blonde was wearing, as if she had been caught by the bandits in the middle of the night and barely managed to escape. He watched as Cyan took a deep breath, watched as her world crumbled over her head, as her shoulders slumped and realization took over her foggy mind.

          " We need to go to the farm. Right now. " Cyan announced calmly, feeling everything all at once. Her limbs began to shake violently when she realized that Niven and Malou were riding right into a trap.

          Azriel tsk-tsked in disapproval, ready to remember Cyan that she hadn't mentioned when she was going with him, but his breath was cut short as he watched the blonde draw a dagger from her thigh and gently place it in the redhead's gloved palm. A gift returned in the hope of bringing peace.  " Thank you. It protected me. " The blue stone upon it glowed brightly in the candlelight, blinding the Spymaster with cold rage. He remembered Amren mentioning something about its disappearance, he remembered how he felt that night, the nightmare he'd had, the smell, his agony. Azriel's hunting dagger lay stolen in the palms of the witch who had invaded their home.

        Voices scream in the distance, and Azriel's head whips around at the end of the hallway as he sees a handful of onyx guards running toward them.

          " Hurry! " Eris grabs the girls by their wrists and tries to drag them out of the castle. The Shadowsinger is faster and wraps a strong arm around Cyan's waist, blocking Eris's magic.

          " The witch is coming with me. " His voice thunderes, Truth Teller already dangerously close to Cyan's neck. Shadows rise around them, cocooning them protectively. One of them darts to Eris's feet, trying to drag him by his calves, but he scares it away with a burning orb send for those tongues of darkness.

           " Kill the traitors! Bring their bodies to king Draegan! " The one in the middle commands as one archer prepares to shoot them.

          Eris's fire ignites in his palms, throwing several fireballs at the guards, slowing them down. One of them screeches in pain as the hot armor melts atop his skin. Vanserra's orbs ricochet off Azriel's cobalt shield, bouncing off before hitting the marble on the ground.

          " Don't let him take her! " Aoife cries, throwing a vase in their direction, then another one.

          Digging her digits into the Spymaster's forearms, feeling those rippling muscles ready to suffocate her if need be, Cyan lifted her feet off the ground in an attempt to destabilize Azriel. In vain, his thighs were far stronger than a twenty-year-old girl, with half the weight of the huge man. The Illyrian raises another shield, blocking the Death Patrol a few feet away and hits his boot on the ground, a cobalt sound wave making the walls shake and the windows ring.

          A black sword appears in the captain's hands, smoke rising like fumes from the blade, cutting a long gash in Azriel's shield. Eris bends his arms and stirs the candle flames, burning the wooden archway. As it begins to crumble above their heads, shattering their helmets, the captain continues to deliver blow after blow in the Spymaster's flickering magic, creating a round opening in his defenses.

          " Let me go! " Cyan screams, managind to scrape her throat in Azriel's dagger. He doesn't seem to mind that danger was right behind them, less than a few meters away.

          " Witch! You stole from me, you broke into my house. Did you want to kill one of us? Did you want to have some fun by torturing us? I'll make you pay double the price... " He whispers in her ear, shaking her violently, sucking all the air out of her lungs. The scent of amber snickers from beneath her armor, mixed with sweat and mud and rain and blood. The Illyrian male goes wild, seeing black before his eyes as he holds his most coveted prize at his mercy.

          Don't break her neck. The bold shadow recommended, still gripping her left wrist.

          Too caught up in the act, Azriel seemed to forget that she wasn't really alone in that armor. Taking advantage of the proximity, the cat sees her chance for revenge and quickly claws at Azriel's right eye, blinding him for a second. The shadows, mesmerized by the fanged beast, released her and dropped Cyan brutally to the ground. A crack echoes in one of her knees, but she doesn't wait and limps to Eris's side.

          When Azriel is left alone to fight the Death Patrol, he throws Truth Teller after Cyan, assuming the guilt of the fatal blow. But time snaps, everyone seems to move more slowly, as if they had been immersed in tar, and only he and the witch were fully functional. He sees it happen, the black, sharp blade slicing through the air, creating a subtle hum of music as it heads for Cyan's head. 

          Aoife screams, but it's muffled, miles away. She waves her arms desperately, the strings holding her in place like a puppet preventing her from moving any further. Eris tries to launch himself in her direction, ready to be struck in Cyan's place, if only his legs didn't feel so heavy, so pinned to the ground. The redhead turns her face behind and watches as Death finally comes to claim her life. Relief is written all over her complexion, she can already taste the feeling of freedom, but she notices something strange happening in the atmosphere. The Shadowsinger is certain the dagger will land right between her serene eyes, but the Truth Teller's trajectory changes millimeters away from Cyan's forehead.

          And it lands. Right. Next. To. Her. Head.

          The dagger that never misses just missed its first target. 

          Azriel's whiskey eyes widen in awe. Cyan's green ones stare back, alive and unharmed. The contact is painful, and it brings the Shadowsinger a visceral agony as he lets her escape. Even if he has time to catch them, he lets them run to their freedom, his back turned to the danger the Death Patrol brought him.

          Eris winnows them right in the middle of Thaibar where chaos was just beginning to set. Flames as high as the mountains devoured houses and people, creating such blistering air that Cyan's armor instantly started to warm, boiling her inside of it. 

          " This is... devastating. " Eris says as he regains control of his mind and flips his palms. The fire consuming two twin buildings diminishes, absorbed into the fae's body. Cyan runs to the nearest well, only to find it blocked by a bundle of wood thrown into it.

          " They cut off the water supply a few hours ago. " A woman screams, running away with her child in her arms. " Run! Before these devils set you on fire! "

           Eris turns to another set of houses and extinguishes the flames. As sweat begins to dampen his smooth cheeks, a howl of pain erupts from behind them.

          Aoife watches in despair as her home is reduced to ashes and smoldering embers. Her screams echo through the night, joined by hundreds of others. Cyan manages to catch her before she falls to the ground and holds her tight as she screams and screams, mourning the years of hard work just to get her mother the medicine she needs.

          " Mom! Mom, get out! They'll burn you alive! " At the thought of her mother being in that cottage, Aoife chokes on her screams and tries to crawl away from Cyan. " Please don't leave me! "

          " Aoife, please, it's too late. " Cyan pleades, watching the foundation already crumbling to the ground. She closes her eyes tightly, Aoife's mother smiling at her from behind her eyelids. " Her suffering is finally over. "

          " No, no, it can't be!... May the god's fury bury you alive, Draegan! May you never see the light or the green fields! May you rot and writhe in the flames below! " Aoife's curse runs through the sky lit by those horrifying flames.

          Eris dodges an attack from a simple guard and burns him alive, melting his armor around his body. " We have to leave! Even if I estinguish these flames, the arrows keep bringing it back up again. " He announces loudly, his baritone voice barely audible in this hell. His handsome features were already covered in ash, which turned black at the contact with his sweating temples. 

          " Take Aoife to the ship! " Cyan wakes up, suffocating from the hot temperature. " Don't let her come back! Under no circumstances! "

          " What about you? " Vanserra kneels beside Cyan, watching her with his black irises. " I can't leave you here. "

          His burning hot hand cups her broken cheek, and Cyan suddenly feels the need to curl up in his arms and cry. " I'll go to the farm, see if there's anything left to save, then I'll come to the ship. " As Eris's worried gaze seems not to let her go, she continues. " I swear. I'll see you in Prythian. "

          A promise. A promise made in that pit of despair. Eris hesitated, searching a trace of doubt in her red eyes. His hand snakes around the back of her neck and pulls her closer, their foreheads touching. " I'll be waiting for you, remember that. I'll give you a week, then I'll come looking for you... " And in farewell, he places those thin, warm lips on her hair, blessing her, giving her a dose of his own ambition.

          Cyan's cheeks glowed like the flames around her, and she clenches her fist around his.

          " Run! I'll buy you time! " And so he did, grabbing Aoife by the waist and concentrating all his powers to raise a wall of flame that split Thaibar in half, wasting all the fire he had absorbed.

          Cyan began to sprint, her knees aching with each step, her amor heavy upon her body, ringing like cups smashed together. She dodged the corpses that littered the stony streets of Thaibar as best she could, avoiding stepping on and desecrating every unalived human that was scarced like trash. People in flames run around her, trying to keep the fire from burning them alive. Cyan hurriedly threw a blouse she found on a corpe at someone's head, cutting off the oxygen that was feeding the fire. She began to cry as she realized there wasn't much she could do and that it was too late for anyone to survive.

          Her tears stung the cuts and bruises from her face, making it harder to avoid the burning obstacles in her path. A few guards shout in the distance, unleashing a new set of burning arrows across Thaibar. She covers her mouth with her hands and watches as the night sky lits up with thousands of arrows. Her breath gets caught in her throat, her lungs burning from all the smoke and ash she inhaled, but she doesn't care. She prays and prays as she runs up the hill that Eris and Aoife would make it safely to the ship, that Niven and Malou would take Cynthia and make it aboard as well. She prayed that Kallus at least had a quick and painless death.

          A choked sound escapes her body. From pain, from exhaustion, from grief, she didn't know. Misty escapes from under her armor and follows her. The smell of Thaibar's flames traveled even here, in the open meadows.

          But as she got closer to the farm, she realized that the smell of burning bodies and houses was no longer coming from Thaibar. It was the farm. Her home.

          " No, no, no, no. No, please God! " She wheeps and starts running again towards the huge flames that seem to be eating the farm. " Why are you doing this to me?! No, no, no... "

          Cyan was no longer warm, even though the damned armor was almost red from the flames she passed through, she was freezing cold, her teeth trembling in her dry mouth. She couldn't remember how fast she went down the hill, if she fell, if she tripped. Cyan saw red in front of her, the tension restricting the blood flow to her brain. As fast as she could, she opened all the barns and released what was left of her animals. " Niven! " She cries desperately, running to the house where she used to sleep. " Malou! Niven! Please, please answer me! Cynthia! "

         Just as she was about to enter, a huge chunk of wood blocked her way. "Fuck! " The smoke grew thicker and denser, and she could barely see anything less than two meters from her feet.

          " In here... " A muffled voice called from the kitchen and Cyan darted in that direction. 

          " Stay outside, Misty! Run if I don't come out! " Cyan warns her cat, kicking it away with her foot. The cat meows in disapproval, but remains outside, frightened by the amount of smoke coming from the door. As Cyan rushes inside, she quickly covers her mouth and nose with her glove and waves her other hand in the air. Dark fumes bombard her watery eyes, making it almost impossible to see. " Dear God... Is anyone in here? Niven! " The temperature was so high that Cyan's breath burned her throat and lungs, coughing asthmatically.

          Everything was destroyed, the flames were everywhere, the tables were overturned, the chairs were thrown and scattered everywhere. It looked like someone was fighting in here. " Nivy? Cynthia?! "

          The darkest scenarios unfold in her mind, and to her dismay, they all seem true. Cyan screams as she steps on something mushy and feels fragile bones cracking under her foot. She stumbles, mortified, and falls face first, hitting her head hard enough to see stars. Bolts of pain thunder deep inside her skull as blood spurts from her broken nose. Trying to regain her sight, a wail of distress leaves her vocal cords as she's face to face with an eyeless Cynthia, gazing at Cyan with her toothless mouth wide open. Niven's mother, beaten to a pulp and brutally disfigured. The girl writhes in horror, dragging her body backwards, bumping into a pair of hanging legs. Trembling, Cyan turns around. A body is pending from the ceiling, armless and naked from the torso up.

          Drowning in her own tears, she clings to Kallus' feet, trying to lift him up to help him breathe.

          " He's... dead. " Cyan turns, her face baked by the hot temperature inside the kitchen and throws herself on the ground, next to Niven's body. " They were all dead when I got here. "

           " No... I shouldn't... " Cyan tears drop on Niven's dirty face, still as beautfiull as the first day she met her. " I'm so sorry. I sould have gotten here faster... "

          " Don't be. There was nothing you could do. It was our destiny, our only way to wash away our sin. In the time you've been here, we've breathed through you, we've lived through you, we've seen the sun finally rise for us through you.  "

          " Get up, Niven, let's leave while we still can... "

          " Let me finish! I'm not coming anywhere - they smashed my legs from the hips to the toes. I can't feel a damned thing. They're still here, searching... I think they corrupted Shum, the Dark One poisoned his toughts. He's not my brother anymore. Maybe you can save him... " Cyan refuses her request, kissing the palm of her sister that was now carresing her face. " You are the Vespertus, you'll carry on and avenge us. Listen to me!... This was the plan all along! "

           Pain crowns her scalp as she is suddenly yanked away from Niven by her hair. A fist collapses with her left jaw, leaving Cyan nearly unconscious.

         " You are here at last, mighty Daughter... " The reptilian voice laughs out of the smoke and another blow knocks the air out of her lungs as it lands right between her ribs. " I'm tired of waiting and so is the Dark One. Your existence is like mud under my nails. Strike her again! "

          Dizzy and unable to move, she takes the next blow without protesting. Cyan doesn't remember where it landed, fortunately her face was already numb. She watches through nearly closed lids as Draegan's twisted face emerges from the hungry flames, surrounded by six more onyx guards. He looked like he thrived in this chaos, in this misery, fed by their sorrow. Like shadows, his protectors emerge from behind him, swallowed by those hungry flames and drew a circle around them.

          " Take a good look at what you and your filthy bitch have done to me! " He shouts, pushing his face into Cyan's view.

          The girl begins to shake from her joints. She couldn't see much, her face was swollen and the atmosphere was thick with smoke. She prayed that she would pass out from all the pain cursing through her body, but it didn't happen and she had to endure all this torture.

          Cyan could barely make out the left side of Draegan's face staring back at her with crazy, black pupils. Ruined was a soft word to describe it. His expression seemed paralyzed, mauled. His lips were drawn back into his mouth, revealing a few remaining teeth and black gums. Not even his eye could be saved, eaten away by a white void riddled with black arteries.

          " You gave Aoife the Night Shade. You took half of my face. " He concluded, smaking her with his ringed fingers. " So I felt free to take something of yours. "

          Cyan pulled her head away from the guard and spat in Draegan's face with the last of her strength. The guard who was holding her hair punished her and with a quick movement cut off her long strands of red hair and threw them into the fire. Cyan remained face down on the ground, watching as the man behind her removed his ink-black helmet to reveal a painfully familiar face.

         " Shum... I tought- " 

          " I lied. " Shum rasped, his boyish features now morphed by Draegan's magic into a man's. " You stole my familly. You killed them. You are no blessing. "

          " Spit all you want, but tonight your life of eternal darkness begins. " Draegan laughs, letting the spit run down his face. " The Devourer of Worlds spoke in my ear of you, of your powers, of your destiny. Your whore of a mother thought she could shield you from him by hiding you in other constellations, but now you're licking my boots. We are many, many more. Allies from across the continent, ready to end humanity, Prythian, ready to let the Destroyer finally take us into his kingdom. ''

          " Why did you betray us, Shum? " Niven asks, her voice filled with remorse directed to her brother. " You murdered our father and stepped on our family name. "

          Cyan began to crawl beside Niven, her body a mass of painful movements and bloody wounds. Draegan made a sign to keep the guard from laying hands on her again, and left her to be with her sister, enjoying the show.

           " I was tired of waiting for a miracle. We prayed to the Mother for a thousand years and she never answered. She let us disappear one by one, she let our heritage be wasted. I was done the second Cynthia lost her mind because of the visions the Mother kept sending her, driving her crazy with time. She could barely get out of the house. We welcomed hundreds of strangers into our home before this one came. We have been robbed, beaten, captured, enslaved, and your Goddess has done nothing to help us. It took a single prayer to the Dark One to be heard, and then I realized who was truly on my side. "

          " You never understood did you? It was our punishment for letting those races be wiped from history, for losing a kingdom... "

           " I don't care anymore. I am reborn under his oath, I bear his mark. "

          Mercy, Cyan tought, but swallowed her tongue when a knife was thrown in front of her swollen eyes.

          " Enough! Kill her! " Draegan ordered, watching Cyan. " My guards have taken care of you other family members. Watch as your savior, your butcher queen, puts an end to your misery, Benefactor. " Draegan smiled, still shrouded in smoke and protected by flames. " Kill her, your soul sister! "

          " Do... It. " Niven whispers, her doe eyes pleading with Cyan. " Don't let him have my life. "

           " I can't... " She whisperes back, crawling to her knees to hug her inert body. " I can't... I love you... "

          " Please... If you love me, you will kill me! " Niven cries, tears streaming down her cheeks. " He claimed my parents for the Darkness when he took their lives. Spare me and let me go to the Gardens. You are my queen, you are the Daughter, the Blade. You are my saviour. Let my life end at your hands. "

          With trembling hands, Cyan finds the dagger tossed beside her and lifts it over Niven's heart, centimeters away. Still shaking her head in disapproval, she bites her salty lips, trying to gather her courage. With blurred vision, she scanns her surroundings once more, their father hanging from the ceiling, their mother lying on the floor and her sister at her mercy, waiting for her decision. They all planned this. They all watched her in the eyes knowing that they had to die at the end and never told her. 

          " Don't mourn me, Evening Star. Don't falter... You were worth it! " Niven smiles once more as Cyan screams in despair and plunges the dagger right through Niven's beating heart.

          The texture of the blade as it sliced through layer after layer, through skin and muscle and bone, made Cyan lose all control of her body. She could be dead by now, she couldn't tell, and it didn't matter. She killed the last person she loved unconditionally. She was a murderer, a kin slayer. 

          Draegan laughs loudly behind her, the guards lift her by the arms, but Cyan is pudding in their fingers, barely recording the film before her eyes. The Mother weeps above them as the Fates cut a golden strand - Niven's life.

          Everything else comes in waves. She sees the slender boy - Shum, dressed in the onyx uniform worn by Draegan's personal guards. The king whispers in his ears, limbs of darkness now at his control, moving like smoke through Shum's mind, controlling him like a puppet.

          " You betrayed us. " Cyan manages to say before she feels something breaking inside her chest, unraveling in her body from head to toe like a refreshing mist. She must be drowning in the ocean, her vision corrupted by green sparks and flowing waves of white steam. She smells the perfume of her old house, amber and musk. Her limbs begin to sting, as if small jolts of electricity were coursing through her veins, contracting her muscles. Cyan begins to light up, a fiery green light burst from her body.

          " Stop it before she fully Passes! " Someone screams, but there is only music in her ears, harps and violins soothing her toughts.

         Blind rage can be read in Shum's black orbs as he comes up behind her, possessed by whatever power Draegan wielded. He raises a hammer above Cyan's head, but the blow misses, striking and breaking her coxal bone.

          The light becomes unbearable to the eyes, and the force of the explosion throws everyone outside the burning house. The excruciating pain sends her body into an epileptic crisis, and she feels it - the heartbreak ripping through her heart muscles, her vital systems collapse one by one, exploding inside her now twisted body, eating away at her mind, her tissues, her emotions. Fatal for a human. And as she draws her last breath, she sees a man fighting to keep everyone away from her.

          Wings ruffle as Azriel tries to shield himself from the wave, and a mix of rage and cobalt fire rises right next to the burning farm where the Shadowsinger has been fighting to keep far away the black hounds trying to steal Cyan's body. The male is covered in blood and thirsty for more, fueled by a ghostly desire of revenge. His Illyrian blade clashes with an onyx guardian's flaming sword, while Truth Teller blocks the blow of another, aiming straight for his back. His shadows snake around their legs, throwing one to the ground and suffocating him. A dark sword rises to his side, slicing through his Illyrian leather. The sting only adds to the man's rage, which burns cruelly in his chest. The shakles he's been feeling since the witch's visit ring in his ears, vibrate through his body, and in a moment of blind madness, he cuts of the guardian's head from his body by forfecating his sword and Truth Teller, leaving it to roll on the ground.

          Shocked by the mania that has taken hold of him, Azriel steps back and watches as a fleeing Draegan rides back to his castle alongside the ponytail boy. He tries to follow, but an unseen thug holds him back, calling for attention. The barn.

          The Shadowsinger rushes inside, his face covered by his mask, and counts the victims. Checking the pulse of each corpse, he lets the flames carry a prayer to the heavens. A cry for help draws his attention to the one he seeks. An animal cry. Azriel's heart sinks as he sees Cyan's limp body covered by the fire, her furry friend desperately trying to bring her back to life.

          Lifting the cat in one hand and the woman's body on his shoulder, he flies them outside, away from the danger. There's not much he can do when the cat's curls itself on the girl's chest again, crying for him to help her, pleading him with her golden eyes to save her owner. 

          " I can try, but I don't know if it will work. " Azriel explains patiently, touching and examining the cats burned hair for any damage. " Wake up... " He speaks softly, inspecting the woman's severe wounds. Her nose was broken, her face was covered in bruises and various types of blood, her own and others. He felt sorry for her and gently removed the hairs from her temples. Azriel hated her, there was no doubt about it, but seeing her so unrecognizable from the beating she had taken, he couldn't help but feel guilty as well. " I hope your soul goes where it deserves to. "

          The woman was dead. It was easy to conclude. He dragged her into his lap, along with the crying cat and prepared to take them to the Night Court.

          " I'm sorry. " Azriel whispered, caressing her features. He unsheathed his sword as a pair of hooves landed right beside him, taking him by surprise. A mare, ridden by an old woman who looked at him as if she wanted to kill him. The horse was no better, huffing and puffing and baring her healthy teeth at him. " I assume you want the girl. "

          " This is a lost battle, illyrian " The woman nodds, her breathy voice filled with superiority. " Don't strike a wounded warrior. The girl is under my protection from now on. Let us gather our strength and then you can come and fight like a true man for your possesion. Spare us today and you won't regret meeting me next time. " 

          Azriel weighed his options, feeling the woman's cunning way of making him give up. His pointed blade was aimed at the old woman, but he couldn't move fast enough with the corpse on his lap. She was wise enough to speak of the honor of the illyrian race; to strike an already wounded warrior was a disgrace.

          But how can she protect this corpse? Who does she think she is? 

          Already tired from tonight's circus, Azriel takes the easy way out and agrees as he watches the girl's face again. The only victim to escape his dagger. " I'll let her go. " He decides, lifting her body and placing her and her cat on top of the stunning mare. " But I'll come back for her. Dead or alive, she made a promise to me. "

           " We'll be waiting. " The old woman said, leaving Azriel behind.

          You let her escape the second time tonight. The mass of darkness spoke in his ear, recalling his mistake from earlier. You got distracted... the amber...

          It's not in your nature...  The brave shadow curled, smelling the strands of hair Azriel clutched in his fist, collected from the girl's body.

           " Let's hope Amren is useful for something this time. "

[damedechance]

stigmata

The 4 part series is complete. Read on AO3.

"Across the river and against the line of the trees, there stands a vague silhouette." An unwitting outsider arrives at the secluded village, bears witness to their horrific rituals, and encounters the monster that lurks in the mountains.

Pairing: Gwynriel

Genre: Horror, Explicit (18+)

Warnings: blood, gore, body horror, graphic descriptions, major character death, and dubcon.

Az is a cannibal. Part 4 is where all of these warnings come into play. Please read tags and warnings.

[secretlynestaarcheron]

During a war meeting.

Cassian: When I die, donate all my organs to people who need and deserve them. All of them except my middle finger. Send that to the king.

Feyre: Cassian, you aren’t going to die.

Rhysand: I am not losing you, brother.

Azriel: *pats his shoulder*

...

*Inner Circle (-Nesta) group hug*

...

Nesta: Is anyone going to mention how the middle finger isn’t an organ?

[mommyofkittens]

A Court of Fallen Heroes: Chapter 6 - Decisions. Part II. ( +18! )

Prythian

Author's POV:

          To Azriel's dismay, it took three whole days for the witch's stench to dissipate almost completely from his skin. He changed several rows of clothes, most of which he gave to the people who suffered after the war. During his little free time, he volunteered to go and help reconstruct buildings, where strong men for tough work were needed. He even found some time to go and make other pairs of suits at his favorite tailor. It was quite difficult to find attires in his measurements, so he resorted to other methods

          It almost always happened in the middle of a training session to find his pants ripped between his wide thighs or to wake up with the sleeves of his shirts too short. Or maybe they were too narrow to fit the entire base of his wings. He took even his Illyrian skins to be adjusted. There were far too many belts and laces to do and undo, so he tried to make everything as comfortable as possible for his spymaster duties.

          In the few days when the amber seemed to dissipate into the air around him with every beating of his heart, Azriel had the urge to replace the skin from his bones. It felt like rubbing sand against him. A strident odor that unfazed his senses, weakening his spy assets. He felt desperate.

          It was pathetic how such a little problem threw his cosiness upside down. Maybe it was so derranging because he wasn't used to the smell. It was uncommon for this places, so it ruined his routine, his rules. Maybe it was the fact that it remembered him of his failure from the Summer Solstice night. Or only the mere thought that a witch's odor imprinted on him, and not the flowery one he wanted. 

          But, to his dismay, it looked like his entire body had been submerged in a cauldron of amber. It wasn't going away so easy.

          Of course, the rational part of his brain knew that it was very likely that the lack of sleep drove him crazy. But it was not in his nature to deceive himself. He was a master of concentration and self-control, but this breach in security sat like an abscess on his nerves.

          Not only had someone been clever enough to get past the sophisticated protection of Velaris, but apparently he'd made both the magic of the house and his shadows submissive. If she was capable of such control over immaterial things, he didn't want to know what she could do with material ones.

          Azriel's blemished fingers traced his tanned temples. The ambiental temperature became too hot for his strict preferences and the darkness that cocooned the chamber unsettled him. With a few large steps he crossed the room and pushed aside the heavy, blue cotton curtains, then opened the windows wide.

          A shy breeze blew through his white, linen shirt, caressing his intercostal muscles and exposed collarbones, then kissed the rounded tattoos on his neck. With the help of his sensitive and trained hearing, he perceived the voices downstairs and the muffled laughters from the city. The precipitous atmosphere had subsided and Velaris fell back into comfort and routine.

          Barefoot, the Shadowsinger made his way back to the cluttered office, looking at the diagrams and information he gathered. He already passed the time limit Rhysand gave him to make up his mind. Even so, they both already knew the answer to the challenge. It was a matter of time until he was going to put into action what he decided to do. Azriel couldn't wait any longer, he couldn't ignore or pass on the mission when another war was knocking at their door. No one knew between who the final battle was to be fought and what the costs were.

          His brunette eyebrows joined on his elegant forehead. The longer strands of hair casted shadows over his handsome cheekbones, giving him a ruffled look. The man's gaze remained locked on the candle flame, whole drops of wax had spilled over the clay plate and dried on the black furniture.

          Azriel couldn't give up on anyone inside the Inner Circle. They barely found eachother. No one would die at the end. He could leave this role to anyone else, but not his family. Even if he sacrificed another life. Yes, he was capable to make this decision. If the price of peace was this " Vesper ", if she had to learn to fight, endure and win, then he was more than satisfied to find her and let her do her duty, with the cost of her life.

          Not even his own ghosts could stop him. After all, who was he running from? Who was he so afraid of? He faced enemies far greater than a poor, ambitious witch, he suffered wounds far worse than the overpowering smell of amber, and on top of that, she entered the house on his watch.

          A smile stained his plump lips. Azriel stood up decisively from the table, signed a few papers in a hurry and then arranged them in piles. Discipline, that's what he was going to teach the little thief. Order, discipline and pain. Especially the last one.

          But, before leaving on the mission, he must take care of a part inside that was grinding him. The primal part that was making him unpredictable and aggressive.

          Azriel knew who was to blame for the way his blood seemed to rush through his body, to his pants. He tried too many times to give himself some satisfaction and now he'd come to the opinion that his hands were not enough. Neither the small tortures he'd submitted himself for more pleasure, nor the games of edging and denying his climax. Nothing was enough. He wanted to fuck it out of his system.

          The man stopped visiting brothels for some time and that was just out of self-esteem. Besides, he didn't need to pay any woman to approach him. It was enough to go out to Rita's or take a leisurely walk in the evening and someone would surely be there to make sweet eyes at him.

          But now, he didn't feel like hanging around or waiting, his patience was gone, an unusual and dangerous thing for a man in his line of work. Azriel didn't have anyone to torture to release his anxiety from his belly, and we couldn't go into the ring now that Cassian was still praying for Nesta to join him in training. Rhysand had avoided giving him any more missions just to give him enough time to think about what mattered. Either that or he wanted to torment him long enough with boredom.

          He quickly took off his tunic and pants, then snapped his fingers, preparing his bath. Lately, he was boiling his water so much that he went dizzy, with visions along the way. Azriel rubbed his skin until it started to turn red. It was the only way to get rid of the smell of blood, torture and amber. It wasn't as if he couldn't stand a little discomfort, he was trained to withstand much more than a tiny violent wash.

         The steam floated inside the marble bathroom, creating bodies and faces. The Shadowsinger realised it was time to get up and satisfy his last need before giving Rhysand the good news. He lingered for a few moments, curious about what his own consciousness could shape this time.

          A brave shadow snaked out of nowhere, and leaned over the edge of the tub, watching curiously. A more playful one danced near Azriel's wet body, waltzing through the smoky vapors. 

          It wasn't anything new. For the most part, there were just scenes from his past: fights, the cellar he was imprisoned in, sometimes even Elain. He gritted his teeth as the eager heat surged lower than he would've liked to admit, burning like hot coals beneath his tight muscles.

          The molten gold inside his irirses sensed the slight shift from the white clouds. He ran his wet palm over his face to make sure that what he saw was real. She was not the woman of his fantasies, he was sure of it. It was a stranger, with her head almost the size of his palm. Azriel's interest hiked when he recognized her features. Or at least that's what he felt. His instincts told him that he'd seen her somewhere. It wasn't her face, but her eyes seemed to speak to Azriel: Big, round and sad.

          " Wake up. "

          Had it really been her voice that shook him out of the trance?

          A few shadows jumped to his aid, memorizing the shape of her oval face before the vapors dissipated: a pair of round cheeks, one of them stained with a birthmark. thick and slightly arched eyebrows, a small nose in the middle and two full lips, with a defined cupid's bow. Stunned, Azriel realized the contradiction. This might not be the same person who sneaked inside their house after all, but someone else. Her human traits were at the opposite direction than the ones of a witch: curvier rather than arched, softer, not sour, life radiated from her, not the stench of death.

          This girl... Could she be the female he's looking for? Vesper? But if so, why was he the one to see it?

          With a slick movement, Azriel stood up from the tub, leaving the water to fall in waves on his stiff body. His joints still ached from his rough training. He made his way back to the desk, undressed and dripping. Azriel used his powers to sketch the portrait of the unknown woman on a blank sheet of paper, then put it in the folder prepared for the trip.

          Yes, the Shadowsinger made his homework even if he initially refused the quest.

          Downstairs, the voices grew louder. He could hear Rhys's mannered tone and Morrigan's sensual one, then Feyre's soft laughter.

          Azriel dried his body, then changed into a casual evening suit. He chose a navy blue tunic and a pair of trousers, that he could easily take off if needed, tailored to hug his strong thighs. Azriel's mouth curled in a small grin. He put on his black, leather boots and ran his long fingers through his still damp hair to dry it in the place he liked. When it came to perfume, that was an easy decision to make: something fresh, earthy, lile rain hitting the pine cones.

          Dark smoke played between his ankles as he was preparing to leave. Out of habit, he checked his antechamber where his desk and cupboards with his own volumes of books were. Anxiety rose in his chest when that gentle face looked back at him from the slightly damp paper.

          Who are you? Azriel spoke for himself and his companions. Sharp tongues of darkness curled helplessly on his shoulders, trying to comfort him.

          The answer seemed unknown even for them.

          Azriel crossed the wide hall with silent steps. The faelights lit the high ceiling, making the golden ornaments to spark. Heavy, carved doors layed closed, one after the other, shielding the empty rooms behind them. The Spymaster looked through the huge stained window at the bottom of the stairs, admiring the playful lights of the city.

          Tomorrow at dawn he was leaving to find that woman. An ace in their sleeve or a hatchet above their heads.

         Once in the living room, he nodded towards Nuala and Cerridwen and poured a glass of red wine from Rhysand's collection. It seemd that his brother was determined to make him go on that mission just by taking out his favorite bottle from the cellar.

      " Azriel! " Feyre began, decorating her elegant face with a sincere smile, "I had no idea you were here too. I thought you were staying in the House of Wind until you finished your research on the Mortal Queens. "   

          Her thin eyebrows arched higher on her forehead, almost meeting the hairline. She was wearing a simple makeup that brought out her tanned complexion.

          " It seems my brother has finally made up his mind. " Rhysand sang, lifting a corner of his mouth, " You wanted to surprise me? "

          His High Lord smirk turned into a smile. Azriel noticed the coincidence. The young couple wore almost the same attire: Feyre in a black dress, embellished with silver stars around her neck and shoulders, and Rhysand in a loose suit, sewn with the same type of thread, but the stars where around his sleeves.

          As they both sat, pressed against each other on the mahogany, velvet sofa that reigned in the living room, they looked royal, untouchable.

          Azriel felt droplets of jealousy staining his confidence.

          Morrigan sat on the other side of the room, cushioned by big, fluffy pillows. Her long legs were hanging over the armchair, playfully taking on and off her red sandals.

          " I've made up my mind, yes. " Azriel stated, swirling the alcohol in his glass and admiring the bouquet of flowers. " But I have one condition... "

          The Shadowsinger went to his eternal place, near the window and made himself comfortable. In the 500 years since he knew his brothers, there were frequent fights over seats, so each one made a sacrifice. In the end, the way they sat remained the same since they remodeled the room. He absentmindedly looked around the familiar chamber and let loose a breath when he no longer felt the traces of magic.

          " Anything, as long as you accept. " Rhysand said firmly, resting his elbows on his knees.

          " I'll go alone. " Azriel concluded stoically, finishing his last sip of wine.

          " It can't be. You need me in Hybern. " Mor spoke for the first time, one of her slippers falling noisily on the wool carpet. " I can help you get inside, I can help you out, I have some acquintances where you can lay low if needed. "

          " Give me some credits, Morrigan. I can get inside as easily as you can. I can't risk your life too. I know what I have to do and on top of that, I'll be better on my own. "

         " Are you saying I'm a liability? " The blonde woman raised her thin eyebrows at him. " Sometimes I think you forget who you're talking to. "

         Azriel felt a smoldering flame ignite in his stomach. He looked her frankly in her blue eyes. Mor backed away quickly.

         Something ruptured between the two of them the moment she admitted to Feyre that she liked women. The Shadowsinger had never felt so stupid. Only then did he realized how easily certain feelings could blind him. It got to the point where he could completely ignore everything around him for the sake of an illusion. He never managed his positive emotions, he thrived in a deathly, mortuary stillness. Azriel was better when he had to make cold, rational decisions, and his patience was his greatest asset.

          Morrigan fumbled in her armchair. She brushed a strand of her splendid hair behind her ear and looked away

          " I know who you are. You're third in command in the Night Court and Rhysand's emissary for a reason, but you're also my family. Right now, you have more important things on your mind than finding a simple woman. " Azriel explained, linking his long fingers to his abdomen.

          Rhysand nodded and slammed a piece of paper on the table. " As neither Montessere nor Vallahan want peace, we have to find another solution. "

          Azriel eyed the treaty now thrown on the table. It had taken Helion's entire library to compose it. " Make peace with a kingdom whose king we just killed? "

          " Might not be the brightest idea, but it's a safe pass for you inside. "

          " Well, if it works and you don't get hurt the moment you set foot in Hybern... " Feyre contemplated, when Amren opened the front door and greeted them with a macabre smile. " But, they don't want to sign the treaty? "

          " No. Those ancient creatures and pirates are too slick and too full of money to accept such a deal. " The little devil added, then poured herself a glass of wine, " Besides, it's below their level to associate with humans and lesser fae.  "

          Cassian appeared shortly after Amren, with a docile Nesta following close behind. Azriel silently watched the tension between the two and remained silent.

           " I've already gave you a heads up about the comet, that Vesper. " Rhysand said, standing up and positioning himself protectively behind Feyre. He gave Nesta a nasty look then eyed Cassian, " You look good, brother. "

          " I'm trying. You're talking about the human comet? " Cassian grinned, leaning his shoulder against the stairwell, " That's one hell of a woman: you fell from the sky, you don't die, then a bunch of people try to capture you and use you for something you might die. "

          The older Archeron sister came closer to the main table, listening. Her dark grey dress held her shoulders tight together and her spine as stiff as a sword.

           " That sums it up. " Rhysand joked lightly.

          " We don't know what her role is at the moment. If the armies of Hybern can rise at any moment, we need as many aces up our sleeve as possible," Amren concluded, claiming a seat on a couch opposite Rhysand and Feyre.

          Nesta looked at her coldly, measuring her from head to toe, " Is this another innocent being you want to use for your own good? "

          Cassian let out a labored breath and scanned her out of the corner of his eye, but it was Amren who spoke before him. " I hope not. The Human Lands are in great danger. We are the only one willing to ally with them and protect them. We are put at risk. "

           Determined, Azriel stood up drawing all the attention to him. " When I get back I'll dig deeper into all this flirtation between the Queens and the Autumn Court. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. It will take me a day or two to get to the west shore, then probably a few more before I manage to find the right village."

          " In which one will you stay overnight? " Mor asked, already listing in her head the acquaintances she could reach to.

          " If all goes well enough, I'll probably survey two villages a day and stop in the third. "

           " Be careful. Three of them surround the kingdom. You'll be very close to the palace. " Amren warned him while cleaning her red fingernails.

           " Don't worry about wings or laws. If anyone asks, you're just a messenger. Everyone knows you as my spymaster, so as long as you don't kill anyone, you'll be safe. " Rhysand explained as he look at everyone around. " I've prepared for you a peace treaty similar to the one made for Montessere. "

          " That won't take away the stares and insults you'll get for killing their king. " Feyre interjected, somewhat tense.

          " I prepared a potion for you. " Amren stood up and handed him a small velvet bag. " The moment you feel in danger just break the bottle and you'll be automatically teleported here. This is an extreme case where maybe your powers are blocked... "

          " Perhaps it would be better if he hid his wings. " Cassian's hoarse tone was thick with fear.

          " It won't help. Everyone knows how the famous Shadowsinger looks like. " Nesta finally spoke, from the corner where she had retreated. " That means you have to hide your face too. "

          " That's why I told you that I should come with you. I can get the information easier. I can sense the truth. " Mor countered, sulking at Azriel's decision to exclude her from the mission.

          " My shadows are as effective as your gift, Morrigan. Besides, I'd say I'm pretty good at extracting information from people. " Azriel's shadows swirled around his shoulders, loyal companions ready to strike.

          " No, no, don't go around torturing people. " Rhysand flinched and waved an arm in the air.

          " I'm not going to. I was proving my point. " Azriel nearly rolled his eyes at Rhysand's affected gesture.

          " Keep the wings. It's a warning for everyone trying to do you wrong. " Amren suggested, a wicked smile written on her thin lips.

          " Now if you'll excuse me. I have something to solve before I leave tomorrow. " Azriel bowed his head and went to the door.

          " Take care of you. " Feyre said, keeping her hands tight against her dress.

          Cassian patted him on the shoulder before looking at Nesta.

          A slight melancholy made Azriel take a deep breath. It was always tough leaving them behind, thinking that maybe he won't come back.

          This is what Rhysand had to live with for fifty years, only faith keeping him on tracks.

          He looked back at his family, their faces full of hope, of expectation and concern. The spymaster could excel in any field of work where his presence was necessary, but with all the pressure of the war pressing on him, with all the tension enveloping him in a tight cocoon, he couldn't disappoint them. He had to get his hands on this woman and bring her safely to Velaris, then Rhysand and Feyre would know what to do, and he could retire from his role as babysitter.

          Not that the one of a chaperone would fit him better.

          Walking towards the crowded streets of the wonderful city, a strange emotion of impatience knotted in his lower stomach, pulling him into a narcotic state of excitement. Danger turned him on, sharpened his senses, that's why he loved his work and did it without regrets. Being an executioner, it wasn't something that aroused him, but it gave him enough satisfaction and pleasure, feeding on someone else's suffering.

          He passed by the many pleasure houses that were located in a more obscure part of Velaris. The streets here were bathed in safe darkness, where people could satisfy their needs in peace, covered only by the languid night sky.

          His sensitive ears caught a few jerky gasps and moans immersed in pleasure. Azriel rubbed his teeth together, clenching and unclenching his fists. There were no inhibitions here, only desire.

       The Shadowsinger never liked to reach this point of despair. That doesn't mean that in the past he hadn't satisfied his desires with anyone who came his way and was eager to ride a man with wings. In fact, many times he didn't even took into account that he shared a room with Rhysand and Cassian. He gave himself free rein to his fantasies with the woman who fell into his trap. Somehow, he managed to stir the primal impulses in his brothers as well and they ended up sharing the female.

          In his youth, his sex drive was much higher than any of his brothers, mostly due to the fact that he'd been locked up and had not managed to discover his sexuality until much too late. As he got older and realized what he preferred in terms of women, what fantasies excited him and how he liked to do it, he'd become very strict. First of all, he refused to share his women. Of course, his brothers could have the females after he was done with them, and very rarely did he end up having a threesome with Cassian or Rhysand and a woman willing to accept them.

          Secondly, he no longer went to the famous pleasure houses, he'd come to disgust the lightness with which many accepted him. Azriel despised the easyness of some, preferring instead to let his primal instincts rule, to hunt his women, and not just any women, but only those cold enough at heart, the mean ones, those who wanted just sex, hard , bruising, no strings attached sex.

          The Spymaster was by nature too methodical and too focused to allow himself to be distracted by anyone. He didn't follow a certain diet, but he trained in a rigid and ruthless way, he liked discipline and efficiency in absolutely everything that surrounded him. His sexual life included.

           That's why he had Victoria or Tory, as she called herself when she was working. She was well trained to allow him to maintain the amount of control over their relationship that he sought. She understood what he liked and how he liked it and never asked unnecessary questions, unless he allowed her to discuss personal things. ' ' Relationship ' was a big word to use for the attraction between them, it was just a physical transaction that kept them both close enough, but at the same time far enough so that his family was not included.

          When he appeared in front of the luxurious brothel, a few scrutinizing eyes followed his steps inside. It was unusual to see him enter such a place, especially as he exuded self-confidence and demanding masculinity through every pore. He slid effortlessly through tables and tables full of empty bottles and semi-nude people, searching for the one he needed. Azriel didn't even bother to look at the ones around, he just made his way to the torch of bright red hair that was spinning on a table littered with glasses.

          A handful of drooling men watched her swaying movements with lewd eyes. Azriel towered over them from behind, studying Tory wide hips and muscular thigs. She looked dangerous, with fox eyes and thin lips, like a mythical creature ready to eat your soul.

           The music chords were so erotic that the crowd didn't even bother to reach the specially arranged bedrooms, beginning the dirty job right here, in the huge room. Faelights were dimmed so that the faces of many were hidden in shadow, a sensual ambience playing among the heated bodies.

          Azriel felt his skin itchy. He grimaced when he encountered the sea of intoxicating and heavy smells. The man hated other people's sweat, feeling them rubbing against his fresh clothes, seeing some of theirs dirty faces buried in some girls breasts. He grimaced at the sound of skin against skin, someone's balls hitting one of this girls's asses.

          He raised his noble face to the thin body of his bed partner and extended his scarred hand. She smiled boldly at him and downed the last drop of alcohol from the glass. The man grabbed her by her narrow waist, lifting her smoothly and placing her back on the marble floor. Her skin burned where Azriel touched her through the cheap, translucent material of her dress.

           " I knew you'd come back. " The viperin woman whispered close to his neck, then pulled his shirt aside to bite his collarbone.

          The Shadowsinger gave her a menacing look and led her through the sea of heated bodies. Tory licked her lips, intoxicated by the fresh taste of his skin. She thought it was better than any type of wine or hard liquor from the brothel.

          She rearranged her gaping dress over her large breasts and followed him obediently. Azriel's hand was big and warm and felt safe like that, wrapped around her slim fingers. His calloused thumbs scratched her soft, creamed palm, sending a bolt of electricity through her already excited body.

          The woman scanned his tanned nape, covered in swirling tattoos that rippled down to his ribs and his majestic illyrian wings that she was never allowed to touch. Tory knew his divine body as well as her own. She would never admit it, but Azriel was her favorite customer. Although he used her, just like everyone else did, she appreciated the respect he gave her before, during and after they fucked, as well as his cold tenderness that somehow soothed her sadness.

          She knew his tastes: he never choosed the sweeter, softer women around the house, the ones with warm hearts and pretty, pleading eyes. He ran away from the petite ones like they were poisoned. Tory knew why: he was to afraid they could get attached, that they couldn't handle his manners, his size. And who wouldn't? She almost fell for him every time they met. Azriel's presence felt like the forbbiden powder she took before she came to work. She couldn't stop chasing him, feeding off of his precise touches, of his burning skin, of his sombre eyes. Tory wasn't in love with him, but she loved his persona, more than she would like to admitt.

          During the days he wouldn't visit, she felt everything bland, the meat seemed unseasoned, the air felt thick, the world was grey. Azriel was the salt and pepper, the aroma of pine trees and summer nights and the blue haze everything was missing.

          Tory guessed that's why he always came after her when he wanted to lett off some steam. She drew a line between work and love: he preffered the fact that she fucked rougher, colder, calculated and she loved the pain that he brought to her sometimes.

          Entering the safety of their favorite dark room, Tory already felt her juices leaking from her little panties. They couldn't even be called panties, they were covering little to nothing from her shaved pussy. There was only a thin string between her ass cheeks and a small triangle on her clitoris.

          When Azriel finally turned around to watch her, she felt his burning amber irises tearing her see-through dress to shreds. Tory felt her insecurities leave her body under his severe gaze. This man always had this effect on her, making her feel like she was the goddess in the room, not him, like she was in control over the situation, not his presence. She had the power.

          " Take your pretty dress off for me, Tory. " He demanded, his rough voice making her legs shake and her nipples hard.

          Azriel wasted no time and she hurried to achieve his wish, working to undo the golden circle on her shoulder that kept her grey dress on.

          " Easy... " Azriel instructed, tilting his head to the side, exploring her body curves through the translucent material.

          Tory admired his painful beauty for afar: the dark blue complimenting his brunette features, his soft hair falling on his forehead, his strong forearms and veiny, long fingers. He was carved from the gods. A deadly temptation among this world.

          His lazy gaze become predatory when she managed to pull her dress at her navel, freeing her nipples for him. The Shadowsinger made a step towards her and pulled her hair to the back, leaving her on full display for him. He traced the back of his hand between the valley of her full breasts, watching her bite her lower lip.

          Tory's skin ached at the barely tactile sensation of his cotton shirt over her pink, oversensitive rosy buds. The woman angled her head upward, searching his numb expression for any available emotion for her. Tory wasn't short, she had a pair of legs many other females envied, but with him watching over her, a handfull of centimeters between them, she felt tiny under his scrutinizing eyes. Azriel could crumble her in his agile hands.

          The woman let a breath escape her thin lips, already full of desire. She barely met him, less than ten minutes ago, and she was already eager to jump on his cock like a profesional horse rider. He never even touched her in a sexual manner, only took her hand to lead her to the dormitory like a sly gentleman. She didn't dare to drag her thumbs along his beautifull features either, too afraid that he would end all of this in a second.

          Tory worked to unclasp the second ring then let the material fall around her feet. The small golden bracellett around her ankle rang when she stepped out of the circle. Her conscience told her that she should feel ashamed for the obscene pair of panties she was wearing, a millimeter piece of red lace, but her thoughts flew away the second she noticed Azriel's appreciative figure.

          She knew he was dirty, she knew he loved skimpy little lingerie under elegant dresses, she knew he liked to dream of what was under a woman's clothes and she knew he loved to undress a woman with only his eyes.

          " Good. " His soft whisper came in a baritonal note as he sat in the plush sofa, right in front of the bed. " Make yourself comfortable, I want to see you pleasure yourself tonight. "

          As exciting as the proposal was, Tory felt a little dissapointed that she was, in fact, not going to ride anything tonight.

          With only a small, ambrose tinted candle to light the large room, Azriel was half enveloped in shadows, like a ominous presence looming over. His lustful mouth curled upward in a viperin smile, like he could see it all on her face, " Be patient. We'll get there later. "

          She could only count on one hand the times she got to devour those full lips.

          Tory bit her inner cheek hard, tasting the blood on her tongue and she climbed the high bed painfully slow, making a show of her perfectly tanned body and her bouncy, round ass. The woman learned a few sessions later that he prefered a handfull of asscheeks rather than big breasts, even if he always gave them the same amount of attention. As she finally sat between the black silk sheets, her thong rubbed painfully against her.

          " Spread your legs for me. " His order made her bones shiver and she complied, bending on her elbows to give him a view as fruitful as possible.

" Wider. " Azriel's tone was so low, so dark, that she barely heard him. " Move your panties to the side. They look cute on you. "

          Tory's cheeks burned red with ecstasy. She snaked a slim hand down on her thin abdomen and pushed the tiny material enough to let him see her pink sex, leaking for him. Her heady scent morphed with his strong, pine-like perfume and hit her nose. Azriel's tongue brushed his lips, wetting them. He never ate any of the women out, she could understand why, she had the splendid opportunity to be devoured by the Shadowsinger only once.

          It was a godly experience.

          A new wave of heat ruptured through her tummy and she circled her clitoris, gathering the wettnes. She whimpered lowly, her breating becoming uneven. Tory imagined his calloused fingers instead, every edge and every scarr bringing a new spark of pleasure. She bucked against her white, velvety fingers and moaned. Azriel's eyes watched every motion of her wrist like a hunter, wary of how her body reacted to her touches.

          " Put two fingers inside your cunt. " He shifted in the chair, adjusting the growing hardness of his cock.

          When Tory conformed to his commands, arching her back, Azriel growled gently. "Good girl, Tory."

          It was hard enough to take his mind off Elain, to let his body have such reactions to other women, but he repressed his instincts so much lately that he could barely keep himself from jumping on Victoria. With parted lips, he passed his large palm over his pants, greeted by a wave of pleasure.

          The woman's brown eyes lit up at his gesture and she moaned, extending her fingers with long nails towards him. Azriel was breathing shakily, feeling his skin on fire. His balls strained painfully at the sight of her gleaming fingers pumping in and out of her cunt.

          " Do you think you're pussy is ready for me, Tory? " He asked, a mischievous tone curling around his raspy timbre. " Do you think you can handle me, now? "

          She nodded eagerly, stretching closer to the end of the bed.

          " Use that beautiful mouth. " Azriel demanded, getting up from the chair, closing the space between them.

          " Yes, Azriel. " Her breathy voice went straight to his aching groin. " Please, take me here, I crave your touch. Please... "

          He towered over the bed, letting her slim hand stroke him through his tight pants and her pleading feed his ego. The woman's lips fell apart as she felt him hard under her palm, long and round and thick. His neck constricted at the pleasure, large veins appearing under his skin.

          Azriel always made sure his women were ready for him when he fucked them, he loved the prelude, he wanted everyone in a safe and controlled enviroment.

          He began undressing himself as the women worked them both. " Let me help you. " He simply said as he ripped the thin material from her hips, leaving furious, red marks on her white skin. He bent and captured her mouth in a ferverous kiss as he pinched a nipple between his two fingers. There was nothing soft, nothing intimate about his mouth, how he sucked her tongue demandigly, how he bit her lips, bruising them.

          Azriel's other hand went to Tory's fingers, bringing them to his mouth, sucking each one of them dry. He hummed apreciative at the taste, then replaced her hand with his giant palm who covered her whole sex.

          He coated his long, elegant fingers in her juices, then pumped three digits inside her already elastic cunt, working the bundle of nerves with his thumb. Tory trashed against the sheets, clamping her legs. " Keep your legs apart or I'll stop. " Azriel warned, spanking her sex.

          She mewled under his unforgiving touch and unbuckled his pants, greedily freeing him. The muscles in his thighs flexed as she stroked him in awe, barely able to circle him with her fingers. His cock was beautiful, with a dark pink crown and a soft skin. Azriel gritted his teeth as she moaned in apreciation and hungrily licked the underside of his shaft from his base to the tip, trying to taste as much of him as she could from this position.

          Tory's happiness of having him in her mouth was short lived as she felt her climax building in her belly. Her tongue slid into the small slit across it's tip, then sucked the beads of precum gathered there. Azriel panted, and brushed a hand through her hair. " You take me so well, Tory. You're so fucking behaved. "

          Her brown eyes rolled in her head as he leaned and harshly sucked one of her nipples, bitting lightly at her underboob. She almost chocked around him as her orgasm shivered through her, making her legs shake. She tried to clamp them shut again, barely able to sustain herself on one elbow, but two shadowy hands kept her ankles still on the bed.

          " Turn around. " Azriel's command came out breathless as he traced his burned hands along her spine.

          He stroked himself a few times before easing inside her, groaning silently at the way she clamped around him. Patiently, he slided slowly, giving Tory enough time to adjust to his considerable size. The woman arched like a profesionist, presenting her ass for him, letting him fill her whole.

          Azriel never made love to any of these women. He wasn't an easy lover and he never knew how to fuck like one, either. The only thing he could offer them in exchange was patience and tenderness, making them feel less like prostitutes and more like actual women who enjoy their sexuality. He always fucked them within the limits of what they could take, of what they wanted.

          He tangles his fingers between her fiery locks again, beding her back at a painfull angle. Tory moaned otherworldy, pinning her hands to the headbord to sustain her body. " Azriel. " She pleaded as he landed a harsh slap against her round ass. " Do it again, please. "

          He hit her again, harder this time, untill her skin was tainted a sexy colour of red. Azriel pumped roughly inside her, like he could abandon all of his suffering here.

          She felt him stimulate a burried spot within her belly over and over, until her legs began to shake against the mattress. Her doe eyes rolled in her head, enjoying both the pain of her hair being pulled mercilessly and her pussy being used senselessly.

          " Have you been  fucked like this today, Victoria? " Azriel's voice was thick and intoxicating, breathless even, as he burried himself faster in her gleaming pussy.

          " N... Oh, oh... No, no " Victoria's brain was drowned in cedar perfume, too full of hormones and pleasure and overstimulated by everything he offered.

          " Do you want to come all over my cock? " His dirty words made her orgasm come closer to her, within reach.

          " Yes... Yes... Please, I want to come... " Tory's breasts bounced painfuly with each of his hard thrusts. " I didn't have any orgasms today. Help me, please... "

          " Poor thing... Let me satisfy your needs... " Azriel purred, placing a large hand on her lower belly, pressing lightly. Tory braced her hand on his strong thigh, unable to think straight from the pleasure.

          She came all around his cock, she barely had the chance to register when all of that happened. Azriel thrusted inside her a couple more times, groaning lowly. He withdrew from Tory's cunt, pumping himself untill his seemen painted his abdomen.

          " Thank you. " Victoria said, a big smile on her lipstick stained mouth.

          " I'm the one who should be thanking you. " The man admitted, as he made his way to the bathroom to clean up his mess.

          " I'm leaving tomorrow. " Tory found the courage to announce him while wrapping the sheets around her naked body.

          Azriel stopped in the middle of the hall. Tory sipped the erotic sight of his huge back and chiseled ass.

          The woman wondered how sensitive those wings were, what reactions she could draw out of him if she licked them.

           " Where are you going? " He asked her, slowly turning towards Tory.

            " I've collected enough money and I'm going to move with my mother and sister somewhere further away. Maybe we'll see each other again if you ever need me. "

          Azriel said nothing, just nodded slightly and closed the bathroom door.

         

​♤ The chapter is not edited. ⚘️

[mommyofkittens]

A Court of Fallen Heroes -Chapter 2:  "  God Forbid...  "

 Hello! I updated the story on Archive of Our Own! It is not edited, I was in a hurry, but i will check it out tonight.

Kisses and hugs!

UPDATE: I EDITED THE STORY ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN!

Author’s P.o.V:

           Before the first war, five hundred years ago, when humans grew tired of the faerie’s tyranny upon their kind, there was this plain saying, who gained power through the blood of every slaughtered male and female, regardless of their nature. It was a chanted, vicious poem, spreading malevolent or honourable effects once it was spoken.

          Even though it was brought into this world in the same very moment as the spilling of The Cauldron, The Mother hid it from the world, for it was a calamity to the ones that fitted the category. Then, after years of being preserved in the back of the minds of the population, it surfaced when a group of celestial beings fell into our circle, commanded by a wrathful god who ruled a young world.

          ‘ Like calls to like. ‘

          It was the truth. But a very bitter truth.

          For this, the mortals suffered tremendous atrocities: skinned alive, enslaved and worked until they died of fatigue in the mines of the faeries, spitted on and stripped of any independence. It was even worse if you were a half-faerie, if somehow, you’re mother was taken by a whore and fucked by several sharp-eared bastards.

          The reason may seem futile and… dispassionate. The creatures thought that mankind was made for this, for pain and hardship: pain calls to pain, misery calls to misery. They weren’t nice even to their own comrades: the lesser faeries. The differences disgusted the High-Faes: the rounded ears that remembered them of humans, long limbs, glowing skin, horns and clawed, webbed feet. This was all deemed to be inferior and shameful.

          But all of this injustice was so far away. It didn’t mean that the consequences weren’t present now: the wall itself was evidence that scars remain and some don’t even heal.

          The winged male, roaming the skies at this late hour thought the same. His memories of the dark cell rarely affected him when he was conscious, but the trauma that resurfaced every time he slept was still proof enough that he needed more than climbing out of the abyss.

          The war with Hybern didn’t last very long, but both him and the rest of his family, suffered great loses for a merely illusion of peace.

          Some things where not good before that, to start with, but others grew colder and colder. He thought of the relationship between the three sisters, that was hanging by a thread and then at him and his brothers. The Archeron family was scattered anyway, but after their absent father died during the war and the other remaining sisters being transformed in faeries, the hole grew bigger, pathless.

          Somehow, it seemed like destiny made them meet. One sister for each brother. The Mother was so sure that the pairs were able to pull each other from bad memories and heal their hearts together. But it was not that simple: Nesta wished to see no one around her and Elain was so closed inside her shell-shaped mind, that rarely someone could reach inside of it. He wished that someone to be him, but The Cauldron made a mistake and gave the middle sister a mate that didn’t fit her.

          Rhysand was the only one that was content with his wife, but he got his own plate of agony for fifty years before he reached this point of alleviation.

          Azriel’s gut tightened at the thought of what his High Lord had to endure for the sake of Velaris. 

          Recently, the two of them had enough of Nesta’s rebellious behaviour. Only yesterday, at the breakfast table, they got the bill from Rita’s restaurant and some gambling magazine. The Shadowsinger didn’t interfere with their decision, it was not his resolution to take. He had other things on his head to worry, so much that they kept him up at night.

          It wasn’t about the money, because the inner circle got plenty of them in the treasury. It was about her unhealthy way of coping.

          Feyre took the drastic decision to end her sister’s suffering by sending her into the one of the shittiest places on earth: Windhaven Camp. Azriel brushed the sensation that it wasn’t the place to help Nesta, blaming it on his distate for the illyrians and their backward mentality.

          He didn’t deny the fact that the oldest sister needed and impulse to step out of the hole she was falling. He understood the urge to drink and fuck her way out of trauma and forget about bad memories and powers she couldn’t control.

          Azriel did the same, after all.

          But her behaviour hurted more than just Feyre, it scared Elain too, pushed her out of everyone’s reach and he couldn’t bear this.

          His jaw tightened at the picture of her delicate frame, coming back to the town house after she went to visit Nesta. Her shoulders were brought inward and she kept her elegant features hidden. He didn’t need his shadows to read her posture. The tears stains from her dress where proof enough that things didn’t end well between them. Elain didn’t spoke to anyone that night, or the day after and Azriel never had the courage to go and say a word to soothe her heart.

          He found himself on the hall of her dorm once, hiding in the dark, waiting like a dog for her glistening appearance. Azriel could imagine Elain, only in her pink nightgown he knew she was wearing. It was her favourite. He could trace the fragile silhouete of her body with the fingers of his mind through the thin silky material. It covered nothing. It was only a shield.

          Never to touch. Always out of reach.

          The Shadowsinger took a deep breath and stretched his wings again, feeling the warmth of summer caressing his membranous wings. He felt his pants grew tighter. He didn’t want a damn boner in the open sky. He was not his brother, he could hold in his temper, his needs, even if they grew bigger each day. Pleasure hall wasn’t enough and he felt dirty screwing an unknown woman and picturing Elain under him, how she’ll sound while he entered her, how her breath would hitch.

          Focus, his shadows seemed to whisper in his ear, curling around his ear lobe.

          I wish I could, Azriel answered, more to himself than to his companions.

          He switched his attention towards the final trees, trying desperately to soothe the ache from his belly. The stench of resin hit his nostrils first, before a pair of big firs came into view. He recognised their lining that marked the entrance of Velaris.

          There was something odd about this night. As he approached the wards protecting the city, Azriel realised that the sky was fuller. The stars were piled on top of each other like they shielded against something, or shielding someone. Not even the spymaster’s favourite’s giant constellation, Orion, wasn’t to be seen, outshined by the prodigious mass of shining bulbs. The moon was coated by opaque grey clouds, leaving the sky open and somehow forsaken, reflecting Azriel’s own unhappiness.

          The night air was unusually heavy and hot, too much even for the beginning of summer. Inhaling it felt like being trapped underwater, violating your nose and giving the male a headache. His black illyrian leathers were tight and made him sweat underneath. Also, he didn’t see any animals running down the forests paths, didn’t hear the rustle of leaves or howling wolves.

          Azriel didn’t take the signs as something bad, but rather a normal way of acting when it came to solstices. More so because the summer one held a meaningful symbolism: the light that helps us find a goal in our journey, setting us to the right path and having a new beginning.

          He lost a low chuckle through his lips. Azriel wasn’t the one to believe such bullshit. In his five hundred years of living, he never saw that guiding light, he reached his goals through torture and patience. The latter was beginning to fade as he grew more impatient, longing for warmth and the feeling of belonging to someone.

          Inside, he kept his emotions under a firm grip, knowing that displaying them was a sign of weakness. And he didn’t have the freedom of being vulnerable anymore.

          Sadly, that made him forget how to show them. Or how they felt.

          When Azriel passed the protection layer, the air changed swiftly from the thick and almost liquid one on the mountains, to one a lot more breathable and flowery.

          ‘ Thank the Mother. ‘, he thought, escaping the honeyed atmosphere from the outside.

          The lights of the mansion were on. The meeting has started. Or already finished. He only hoped that he didn’t arrived late. Not that he was eager to see Nesta’s punishment or sense Elain’s mating bond on her.

          He cringed at that and landed on the balconies threshold, donning his frozen mask.

          " Brother. " Rhysand acknowledged his presence first, laying a comforting hand on Feyre’s, squeezing gently before eyeing Cassian.

          The High Lady nodded in his direction " She needs to come to her damn senses, " then fixated her eyes somewhere in the distance, putting a shield between her and the world around. " otherwise, I don’t know what else I can do to help her. "

          " You’ve done enough. " Rhys delicately assured her, brushing his fingers through Feyre’s light brown curls. " You’ve helped her enough. You and Elain, Amren. Cassian. Everyone tried to give her space and a place here. With us. "

          So it didn’t go smoothly.

          There is nothing to bind them anymore, his shadows whispered, uncovering themselves in the dim light of night.

          " I am sorry I didn’t get here on time. " Azriel spoke, stepping silently and covering the archway with his wings. " I had business to attend to. " His remarked didn’t pass unnoticed by his High Lord.

          ‘ My office. ‘, Rhysand said in his mind.

          ‘ Is not urgent, but it is something you need to hear. ‘

          " We convinced her to come with me to the camps. " Cassian added, putting one ankle over the other knee. 

          " More like forced her. " Rhysand completed.

          Azriel remarked how his brother took time arranging himself today: with lacquered brown boots, ironed shirt and freshly shaved.

          " I knew she wasn’t going to take this easy. " Amren was seated neatly on the couch, toying with her new favourite bracelet that Varian gave her as a present " But something tells me you’ll manage. "

          She gave Cassian a half nod, smiling in her own devilish way. Azriel knew why Rhysand brought her here, so he would preserve any sort of familial bond between him and Feyre’s sister.

          The spymaster senses the tension in the room and scans it rapidly, locating the source of the strange ambiance. It came in big waves from Cassian, who kept his shoulder straight and his muscles contracted.

          " She’s scared, tormented. " Cass draws a breath, visibly irritated with the stubborn older Archeron sister.

          " Let her dig her own grave, boy, then offer her a hand. " Amren stirs the wine in her almost empty glass, licking her red lips.

          " I thought that’s what this past year has been: reaching to her. " his brother closed his eyes, a pained look crossing his features for a second, " But I received only death looks and venomous words. "

          Azriel knew what he was talking about: the gift he threw in the Sidra, last solstice, after the fight they had on the market streets.  After she made it clear she wants nothing to do with them. With him.

          He was the only one out of the Inner Circle who knew what they’ve lost that day: The Veritas. The apple sized bulb, incastrated with truth magic, that required the Spymaster’s infiltration in the Court of Nightmares’s dungeons.

          Azriel knew the reason behind this gesture, to show Nesta the truth, Cassian’s truth. Even though he knew the General’s feeling towards the oldest sister, it was his own secret to tell.

          " Keep reaching out your hand. " Amren stated, piercing Cass with her silver smoked eyes.

          " I’ve gotten young warriors in the line before. " Cassian dared to joke, shifting from his previous pose and coming closer to where the Shadowsinger was standing near de balconie’s archway.

          " Nesta’s not some young buck pushing the boundaries. " his brother contested, kneeling at Feyre’s feet and caging her palms in his own.

          " I can handle her. "

          " She’ll give you a hard time. " their High Lady spoke, shaking out of her sadness, " And she’ll enjoy every second of it. "

          " She’s miserable. " Amren rose, finishing her glass, ready to get back to her house. " Too bad that rule doesn’t exist, or is not exactly as precise as I made it to be. "

          " Then make sure to add it later. " Rhys helped Feyre to the base of the stairs, " We don’t want to be caught frauding the system. It is enough Keir doesn’t have us at his heart and seeks any wrong step to split the Night Court. "

          Elain had walked in halfway through his brother’s testimony. " I left her baggage in the hallway. " she spoke softly, hiding her hands in the purple dress she was wearing, " It is small. I don’t think it will rise any problems of transportations. "

          He inhaled unconsciously, feeling the lilies and daisies smell al over her. She kept a solemn face, never taking her eyes off of Rhysand.

          The spymaster shot a look towards her soft brown eyes, asking himself if she was strong enough to bear her sister’s deadly arrows that were about to come her way. But Elain’s gaze remained steady as she listened to Rhys, not sparing him a glance. So he changed his focus to Cassian, who looked pale and angry.

          " I’ll bring it up to the House of Wind. " Cassian agreed, stepping on the balcony. " How’s Varian accommodating the weather from Velaris? "

          " I show him new things every night. " the little devil throws us a meaningful look. " He loves the view from our windows. "

          Feyre laughs softly and Elain blushes, turning her gaze to the ground.

          A sudden feeling of tiredness settled on Azriel's shoulders and he felt a wave of pain crossing his body.

          The sky, his shadows whispered, the sky.

          He blamed it on his lack of sleeping, but as he turned to watch the night sky, a shooting star passed silently and a ghostly smell of amber made his heart ache.

  The Continent

           " This world is the nurse of all we know, This world is The Mother of all we feel. "

          Mother of all we feel…

          I will bring you to my feet!

          Don’ t falter, Evening Star!...

          Your existence is like mud under my nails.

          Stop it, I pray to the different voices around, watching the scenes fly pass me: an old man, a young king, two ladies helping me get up and blood. So much blood.

          The Three Dead Kings are waiting for their Daughter.

          Their blood is all over your hands, Queen of Ashes.

          Make it stop, I beg again, feeling lost inside the darkness.

          Strike her again!...

          Mother of all we feel…

          I’ll make a crown out of your bones.

          I have been waiting for you…

          A gentle caress touches my forehead and a pair of hazel eyes passes swiftly trough my mind.

          Wake up, I beg you.

          A piercing man’s scream shatters my eardrums and I jolt, barely aware of where my body starts and ends. The ache inside my heart is agonizing and I feel like I faint several times before my mind is fully anchored to my material body.

          I always had the uncertain sensation that my death will be miserable. And I always blamed myself for thinking too much, for feeling too hard and for playing the victim too often. But the truth is: Death was always stalking me – like a lovely sister of Bad Luck that became my friend -, eradicating in her path everything that was dear to me. Grandparents, uncles, dogs, birds and recently, the parental love that I never had, actually.

          I blamed the cancer, because that is what the fate seemed to have prepared for us: hereditary colon cancer. I was afraid that I had it, but my mother was too scared to do some analyses, refusing to hear the truth and preferring to stay blind. So I did the same.

          But that doesn’t mean I escaped. I experienced another kind of illness.

          I am not american, I came from the Balkans, from a part of Europe where fairy tales, curses and legends are at home.

          Not recently, maybe years prior to this day, my mother, an aunt and I visited an old lady. She lived in a village with unpaved streets and we paid her to do a tarot session and read in our coffee cups.

          That was the day I knew some higher divinity had a vendetta against me.

          The lady was ancient, reaching – after the precision of a teenager – a critical level of ninety years. She smelled like rotten eggs and something characteristic for an old woman with no bathroom inside her house and no sewerage. Her house was made out of adobe and lacked a few windows, the plaster had peeled off of the exterior walls, leaving the horse’s shit and wheat straws to be seen.

          The interior wasn’t any better. It stank of sauerkraut, it was very chilly, dull and inhospitable, with a raw wood floor and an iron bed covered by a smeary flattened mattress.

          She invited us to sit around a little table in a slightly tidier room. It seemed like it was made especially for guests who were into pagan games. The wooden furniture was covered by a hand-sewn table cloth, coloured with red, white and blue thread. The chairs had red leather seats, and the few windows were covered with soot and embroidered curtains. The crone kept here an old sewing machine, with pedals and a sharp spindle in witch she impaled three porcelain dolls.

          " Keeps the dark forces away. " She hinted, observing me.

          The old woman had a glassy eye, corrupted by cataracts and the other one held such a bright blue, that made you wonder if she was blind or not. She looked more like a witch than someone’s granny. She missed a good part of her gray hair and only a few tufts remained trapped in a bun at the base of her head, covered by a black handkerchief. The woman wore a mourning gown, a full-length dress, with a brown apron hanging around her navel. A nephew of hers died of a chromosomal disease that made him look like an experiment of God.

          I never believed her. I knew this was a form of punishment, implied by the one who ruled up or down, because she was playing with dark magic.

          The crone opened the books to read my life and looked at me crookedly.

          With a confident, wrinkled hand, the woman put three cards on the table, after she shuffled them and had me cut them three times.

          4 of hearts. 5 of clubs. 3 of spades.

          I don’t recall with what lies she charmed me with, I was horrified by her looks. Some years passed before I opened up a discussion with my mother and she remembered me of the crone’s premonitions.

          It was about an unexpected, long journey on a foreign continent, devoid of good people and love.

          " She called it a place with no pure magic. " My mother added, drinking from her cup of coffee.

          She told me that someone puts me through great obstacles and I will suffer many losses in my path. In the end I was to be successful, but with terrible costs.

          " To save only one hand for the price of the whole body. " My mother raises her brows, and the memories seem to torment her for a second. " Quite strange if you ask me. "

          " She swore, by the tongue of death actually, that the man from the shadows is waiting for you. He is the only one that can save you. "

          Shortly after our meeting with the witch, she died. It seemed she had gone mad. Her kids found her trapped in the space between the stove and the wall. She was frigid.

          Mother of all we fell…

          I claim you, mou nafsah…

          I manage to take a deep breath, feeling my trachea obstructed by mucus and salt. A convulsive cough makes the capillaries in my eyes to stop pumping blood, overwhelmed by the unfamiliar pressure. My mouth opens, gasping for oxygen and a loud moan escapes my crusty lips when a spasmodic pain flourishes in my body.

          The sounds echo around me and I worry that some of my neighbours might hear me. But I couldn’t stop. I try to tense my muscles, but another wave of nausea storms my stomach. I twist and vomit on the ground beneath me.

          " God forbid… " I whisper, feeling the air hitch in my throat.

          The smell of salted water and fresh flowers decrease my nausea, and my vision begins to clear slowly, patches of light dispersing the darkness. I blink a few times, feeling my eyelids glued together.

          Only after a few moments I am able to see the scenery. A vast meadow, fresh and… alive, in a strange way,

          " God forbid… " I hum lowly, touched by the sudden beauty that surrounds me. " Where am I? "

          One of my vertebrae cracks when I raise my head wearily, reminding me of the tangled position I was in.

          The patch of grass was guarded by rocky, ink-black mountains, which shone in the distance like the precious jewels of an imperial crown. It looked like I was inside a dormant volcano.

          The sun shone brightly over me, warming my tangled, frizzy hair and making me cringe at the sensation of dirt and salt tightening the skin of my shoulders. Carefully, I turn around, enthralled by the clear lake stretched out, alluring insects around it. A thin strip of sand noted the difference between the water’s edge and the beginning of the grass.

          I must have fallen in it, that’s why my clothes were drenched and covered with a dusty pellicle of dry salt.

          Dizzy, I look at my filthy, creased thumbs and use my mouth to breath. My nose was stuffy and it hurt terribly, like it broke when I landed.

          A gray stag lowers his head to drink water.

          " Don’t… " I start, feeling my hoarse voice rubbing against my larynx. I clear it and try again: " It’s salted. Don’t. "

          He watches me, and for a second, we both look skeptical at each other. Is he questioning my existence? I watch his high, branched horns and involuntary smile at his long snout and bright, gentle eyes.

          I pull back, not wanting to scare him and squeeze my head between my palms, unable to neglect my growing headache. "I am sorry… "

          I was losing it. My minds, my spirit of observation, my instinct. It couldn’t be true. I fucking fell out of the sky, through nine circles of worlds. Something told me it resembled Dante’s Inferno, but I knew I wasn’t in Hell. At least not so soon. This place was more like Heaven, not burning flames and red demons wanting to get your soul.

          And I felt very much alive.

          I was probably drugged or drunk or the fall on my cat's bowl must have done something to my brain, because I couldn't be here.

          My memory wasn’t a reliable source either. Broken and discontinuous fragments appear in my brain: Icarus caught in the air, Nadia, volunteering for that blood donation, 3:33, the clock’s batteries, the 3rd floor and the man in the black suit. Everything was like a tornado, always moving and changing, without sitting next to each other so that I could make sense out of this.

          The intention to cry makes me stiff and I feel like crying, because I sigh and hiccup and my eyes sting and my throat hurts, but I can't feel the tears on my cheeks. I can feel the drops gathering in the corners of my eyes, but nothing bluries my vision. I only feel a confusing emptiness that gnaws at my intestines.

          The stag pities me and the grass seems to wrap around my ankles, comforting me. For a second, is not cold and earthy, but my cat’s soft fur brushing my skin, welcoming me back home, telling me he missed me so much.

          My dry and rough voice runs through the calm of the place, over and over again and I mourn. My existence, my destiny, my life. I beg for help over and over and try to get up, but I fall to my knees and feel desperate when the only thing that answers me is my voice’s echoes hitting the onyx mountains.

          In an unconscious attempt to wake me up from this nightmare, I strangle myself and even when my nails are dangerously deep in my skin and my blood no longer reaches my head, I can't get out.

          It was real. I had indeed fallen through those circles and landed in a lake. In the lake next to me. I don't know how I got out, but it saved me from drowning. Or maybe something else happened. I didn’t know.

          The stag was gone and the grass had fallen off my ankles. I was left alone, face up, lying on my back and looking at the empty blue sky. So empty that it reminded me of how I felt right now.

          And what are you going to do? I wonder. Are you going to die here without knowing the truth?

          " I do not know. " I whisper, feeling my chapped lips scratching at each other. "  I want to die here. I want to die. "

          Mother of all we feel…

          I have been waiting for you…

          The song in my ears, which danced between my eardrums even before I woke up, makes me get on all fours and crawl, absent from my own body and indifferent to the cuts that pierced my palms and knees. I crawl and wheeze and cuss until I barely breath.

          I don't even know how long I move like that, with my eyes on a clear horizon and my mouth dry. The desperation was my only comrade right now, pushing me further and faster. I had nothing, but desperation and ambition flowing through my blood.

          After an infernal time I wake up face to face with the foot of the mountains chain. The black rock shone as brightly as it did from the lake, like billions of tiny diamonds were encrusted in it. I brush the tips of my fingers against the material.

          A bolt of electric power dashes through my muscles, followed by thousands of whispers in my ears. Goosebumps appear all over my soaking skin and my body is suddenly awake. The cells in my body vibrate, enthusiastic and respond to the mountains, rushing to the tips of my nails, warming my hand. I am aware of the stag coming closer, of the green serpent roaming silent at the bottom of the lake. I see the flowers bloom under my attention and the trees bending in my presence. A sparkle comes to life at the connection and I drew back, perplexed.

          Maybe this place has a large energy field around it, flowing from mountain to mountain and protecting it from any technology. Maybe that was the reason it was not populated.

          The stag by the lake appears, sniffing in the direction of a narrow opening in the rock. I could scarcely slip through it. I look at him puzzled, feeling the madness that settles in my head.

          " What are the chances that you will understand me and know that I want to get out of here? "

          I speak more for myself, and the shock crosses me when he nods and the crown of horns goes towards me.

          " God forbid… " I chant for the third time and I lower my head, sticking my fingers in my eyes. " I think I'll have to get used to it, until it shows me that it's all in my head. "

          It wasn’t just my imagination. I could smell fresh grass and clean water, I could feel my body stiff and my extremities swollen, I was aware of the headache and my ears popping from time to time from the pressure. My feet ached from the gravel and my knees and elbows stung as I crawled on all fours.

          The only thing that made me doubt the surrounding landscape was my memories, probably scattered because of the fall and the long sleep. Sometimes I got so close to a detail in my head I could brush it with my fingertips, only to disappear as if it never existed.

          I dare to reach out, wanting to caress the animal on the fluffy head. I stop a few inches from him, noticing my filthy palms, full of mud, blood and lacerations. I would have tarnished his beauty, just to fulfill my desire to feel contact with a living being.

          "Thank you... " I bow to him, touching my heart with my palm.

          After a few seconds, his eyes widen in warning, blinking at me, wanting me to understand. " I am sorry. I can’t… I… I will be careful. Thank you… "

          I try to slip through the small crack, but the opening is too narrow for me. I remove my hoodie, leaving only my bra and jeans on. Holding the piece of fabric in my hand, I manage to pass through the tunnel. My clothes went two shades darker from the dust on the rough walls and my exposed skin rubbed painfully against the sharp edges of the mountain.

          Finally seeing myself on the other side of the volcano, the desolating image strikes me, causing my anxiety to reach alarming levels.

          The beauty and the peace inside the oasis contrasted sharply with the barren earth and gray sky. Life seemed to disappear, being replaced only by a vain hope of survival.

          Left and right, miles of yellow-grass meadow laid deserted, and here and there were a few peaks of brown mountains filled with smoke from the houses that lived on the ridge.

          I turn to the volcano from which I just came out, just to be petrified. There was nothing behind me. No sign of it, no rough wall of bright onyx, no sign of a stag or fresh grass. The sky was just as cloudy and the pasture just as barren.

          Even the feeling of calmness ran out of my system.

          " Well, maybe not everything is real... Or beautiful… "

          I wave my hands in the air where I knew I came from, but I don't feel anything. I lay on my knees, desperately looking for proof that everything was true. When I feel like I'm losing hope, I catch a glimpse of the black mountain and the patch of grass leading to the lake. 

          It seemed like the air was cut by a knife and the opening lead to another dimension. 

          " How is that possible?  "

           I look around and notice the dogwood tree, the same height as me and with a few budding flowers. It marks the entrance to the oasis.

          Unsure of what I was going to do next, I set off. If I were to stay here, I would never know what happened to me, how I got here, or where I am. I had no chance of returning.

          Sadness grips me and I sigh unconsciously, wandering the barren pasture, heading for what I thought was the East.

          Dark thoughts surround me and I can barely find the strength to keep going. The desolating atmosphere wasn’t helping me at all with my internal grief.

          My parents wouldn’t know where I am. They’ll probably imagine that I had committed suicide out of love, as all young people do today. The feeling of my watch on my left hand was a constant memory of the person that I loved back home. What will she do?

          God, how cruel everything was. I couldn't even remember her name. The terror of forgetting her brown eyes or round face embraces me and I start to cry. I could finally feel the tears streaming down the scratches on my cheeks.

          My Icarus. My sweet Icarus. He was going to be left alone. Who will feed him? Who will love him? My little savior…

          I cover my face and stop, unable to cope with the pressure that covered me like a blanket, suffocating me.

           " Miss, are you alright? "