#baagvai

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😳💬🏩

💬 When did my muse go on their first date?

Though men took Lyrha out for drinks and whatnot plenty of times before, SHE now considers her first real date to be with X'rhun. There... were drinks involved. They were between capers and eager to unwind. But a troupe of performers at the bar opened the way for a dancing competition. X'rhun tried to impress her with his Flamenco. Which... yes. It was attractive. She admits. But she absolutely could not resist trying to one-up him up with Step Dancing, and an entirely new rivalry between them was born.

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The other two answers deal with topics like extremely unsatisfying sex, and child and sexual abuse in significant detail, so they're going under the cut! If you're sensitive to such themes, please be aware these may not be something you'd enjoy reading

😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

She's been with a lot of abusive men in the past, and there was certainly a learning curve to choosing the right kind of bad men to cozy up to during her piracy days. Some were bad in bed, some were dirty, some were jealous, some were violent, most were variations all around.

But there's one man in particular who really... just... sucks...

Baagvai, the slaver-pirate king who in fact led the raid on Lyrha's village when she was around seven years old, and, she believed, killed her father who was trying to protect her (something Lyrha felt responsible for). Baagvai had intended to sell her off, but she was such an aggressive, stubborn little child he found himself attached. He raised Lyrha as part of his crew.

There's already some mind-fuckery going on there for her, the man who kidnapped her and killed her father in front of her then taking on a parental role. Baagvai was a violent man, not afraid to hit her, but all the same he protected her from the worst of the other crew who were afraid to displease him by damaging his 'kitten.'

She was spared molestation as a child and given some agency over her body. She got to decide (more or less) who she slept with, and while part of his crew, Baagvai ensured she had access to medicines and tonics to suppress heats and prevent pregnancies. But that's about the best that can be said.

Baagvai had her, too, when she was old enough, and made no effort to ensure the experiences were pleasurable.

Lyrha was pretty well indoctrinated into the lifestyle and thought she was happy. At least as happy as anyone could be given the savagery of the world. She thought she meant something to Baagvai, that she was a fully-fledged member of his crew, and was loyal to him.

Until someone finally offered him enough gil for her, and he sold her into thrall with little hesitation. Lyrha. was. furious. Utterly betrayed. She escaped, barely, after a bloody conflict. But piracy was the only life she knew, and so taking the skills he'd taught her, she signed onto another ship of her choosing and resolved to never again offer anyone her loyalty.

Baagvai systematically ruined her life, manipulating and traumatizing her in significant ways that, decades later, she will still struggle with.

When she crosses paths with him again, as a fully-fledged Red Mage, Lyrha completely loses her composure and makes a foolish solitary assault on his ship, desperate to kill the man who had come to represent everything she hated about herself. It goes badly. He overwhelms her, shatters her wrist, and would have imprisoned her again had Arya and X'rhun not managed to pick up the trail and caught up in time to rescue her. They barely get out alive.

This places a significant strain on her relationship with X'rhun, who, though he knew she had a wicked past, did not know the finer details and had no idea at first why she'd made such a reckless, suicidal assault on what seemed to be just another brigand. They do work it out, and after what he went through with Lambard he can certainly understand, but the point remains that Baagvai was a significant factor in a bad argument and well over a week of the pair not even being able to speak to one another.

It later takes their combined efforts, and the aid of the Scions, to finally put Baagvai down.

So yeah he's probably the worst man she's ever slept with, considering all the peripherals.

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🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?

Nothing special! She'd hoped the guy (a Roegadyn) being a little clever with his words would mean it would play out like all the songs, but was sorely disappointed when all he really knew how to do was thrust with his cock. Though their size difference was significant, he didn't know enough to make any effort to stretch her out properly beforehand, neither did he make sure she was lubricated nor given time to adjust to his girth. She didn't didn't even come close to finishing (Lyrha actually did not even know that women could climax for most of her life), and was sore for days afterward. No fun.

It set the bar pretty low for her expectations of what sex was supposed to be like.

[calico-heart]

A doodle :3 I'lyrha gets the storied blade Guespiere during Heavensward, but I've been considering it being lost during her ill-fated confrontation with Captain Baagvai (yet another symbol of how devastating her failure there is, and her feeling of inadequacy as a Red Mage. Because I'm not done torturing her with that yet!)

Means she will need a new sword, though! And I'm thinking perhaps she's given Talekeeper as a sign of her renewed oath.

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Excerpt from another short angsty fic I've been working on for Lyrha (can't ever have too many of those!) Nothing fancy but I'm having fun that's what matters

A vague greyness had settled over Lyrha’s mood in the days that followed her ill-concieved solitary assault on Baagvai’s crew. And it was ill-concieved, she could see that, now crimson fury didn’t blind her to all except the promise of vengeance.  She’d rushed headlong into danger, into the very nest of her foe where his strength was greatest and his allies were close at hand. Alone. Baagvai had smiled his crooked smile and called her ‘Kitten’ and in that instant she’d no longer been I’lyrha of Vermillion Wind, but I’lyrha the slave child. I’lyrha the slaver queen. Full of rage and vacant of the discipline X’rhun had laboured so hard to instill in her. No match for the monster who still haunted her hopes and dreams. Lyrha’s dull green eyes drifted down to her wrist, bandaged and splinted. The healers had done their best, but it remained to be seen whether the bones would set right. She might never hold a sword again. Baagvai had, with very little strain, jeopardized Lyrha’s entire future. She’d be locked in one of his slave cells now if not for X’rhun and Arya… and when they’d stormed the ship to aid Lyrha, they’d nearly been taken into thrall, too.

[calico-heart]

I FINALLY finished the Sorrow of Werlyt questline tonight (have been sitting on that Diamond Weapon trial for MONTHS shh) and had been toying with the idea of Lyrha and the Red Mage fam being involved in this. 100% settled on that being canon now.

She struggles a lot in her story with how to reconcile her past as both a victim and a perpetrator of immense abuse, much of which she has no way to make right. It's a huge obstacle - feeling both unworthy of the Red and corned by her previous ignorance.

These kids being taken up into a violent regime they grew to embrace would hit very close to home for her, a stolen child who was raised as a protege by the very fiend who attacked her home and kidnapped her. She didn't question Baagvai's teachings even when he betrayed her, just doubled down on her own jaded cruelty.

And like Gaius, she was forcibly torn from her misguided life and aspirations. She made allies who's mere actions and morals discredited all the justifications she had, all her beliefs about the world and Might Makes Right. She realized none of that suffering she'd experienced or inflicted had been necessary. There were other ways, and better ones.

Valdeaulin's angst over whether to kill Gaius in righteous vengeance would tap into a very familiar fear of Lyrha's too - of X'rhun's wrath, if he discovered the truth of who she really used to be before he found her bleeding out in the dirt by the side of the road

While other characters in her story deal with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, Arya and X'rhun certainly aren't carrying the same kinds of sins. And that's been isolating and frightening for Lyrha.

But Gaius is notorious. And he's now grappling with a familiar struggle. Here's someone who might understand, who's choices and fate she can use as a model for what her own might be, caught as she is between the horror of who she was and the hope for who she could yet be.

I mean look at this jhhjkhklj

A lot of stuff Lyrha needs to hear, in there. I might even see if I can tie in the moment she tells X'rhun the truth about her past into this arc LOL

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It Comes and Goes (In Waves)

Characters: Arya Gastaurknan & I'lryha, mentions X'rhun Tia Rating: T Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Whump, PTSD, Panic Attack, Broken bone, Slavery mention Summary: After an attack on a pirate-slaver goes awry, Lyrha is faced with a potentially permanent injury and fears she may never be worthy of the Red. But Arya isn't about to abandon her fellow apprentice to despair. Also on Ao3!

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A vague greyness had settled over Lyrha’s mood in the days that followed her ill-concieved solitary assault on the pirate king Baagvai’s crew. And it was ill-concieved, she could see, now that scarlet rage didn’t blind her to all except the promise of vengeance. 

She’d rushed headlong into danger, into the very nest of her foe where his strength was greatest and his allies close at hand. Alone. 

Baagvai had smiled his crooked smile and called her ‘Kitten’ and in that instant she’d no longer been I’lyrha of Vermillion Wind, but I’lyrha the slave child. I’lyrha the slaver queen. Full of rage and vacant of the discipline X’rhun had laboured so hard to instill in her. No match for the monster who still haunted her hopes and dreams.

Lyrha’s dull green eyes drifted down to her wrist, bandaged and splinted. The healers had done their best, but even with magic it remained to be seen whether the bones would set right. She might never hold a sword again. 

Baagvai had, with very little strain, jeopardized Lyrha’s entire future. She’d be locked in one of his slave cells now if not for X’rhun and Arya… and when they’d stormed the ship to aid Lyrha, they’d nearly been taken into thrall, too. 

She shut her eyes. Felt another tremor wrack through her, and wished those would stop. Her bed was comfortable. Sunlight and birdsong came through the windows. The blankets were warm. There was no danger here. And still… she trembled.

It was a few minutes more when the sound of footsteps and a knock on the door twisted her ear. 

“It’s me.” Came a refined, feminine voice.

Lyrha considered not answering, but, slowly, flopped her head back down on the pillow and replied in a coarser, less fanciful brogue, “Hey, Little Sister.”

The hinges creaked faintly, and Arya’s pale, soft features peeked through. Her blonde hair was tied back, and her blue eyes creased over a smile without a hint of resentment. “Would you like some company?”

After a few heartbeats, Lyrha flicked the tip of her tail in assent. 

Arya stepped in quietly, smile faltering a little at Lyrha’s inanimation. “...Have you seen X’rhun today?” The younger girl asked pleasantly, hands tugging at the red hems of her short skirt.

“Not since night before last.” Not since he’d made his feelings about Lyrha’s half-cocked assault abundantly clear, and then marched off in a crimson storm.

“…Oh.” Arya’s heartbeat sped up a little, easy for a miqo’te to discern.

Lyrha’s ears flattened at the sound, but she still didn’t bother looking directly at her companion.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Arya hummed a little, “Well, he knows you’re in good care, and wants you to rest.”

“So you’ve seen him, eh?

Arya hesitated long enough that it was an answer in and of itself. 

“…He’s still angry with me.” Lyrha lamented blandly. 

Brows pinching with worry, Arya frowned, “I — I don’t think he’s angry. He… he seemed…”

“Angry.” Lyrha repeated. 

Arya shook her head, mouth opening for a moment with no words. Then, “You know how – intense he can be. He was scared for you. We just need to give him some time.”

Another wave of trembling rolled through Lyrha, and she grit her teeth, willing it to fade. It was a plea that went unanswered. 

“I’lyrha? Are you – is it your injuries?” Arya asked, a nervous hand to her lips.

Lyrha hissed and shook her head. “It’s just cold in ‘ere.”

It wasn’t. 

“You might have a fever –” Arya shifted, reaching for her companion’s brow.

Lyrha swatted it away, “Little Sister, you shouldn’t have come. You should be angry, too.” Anger would make sense, after Lyrha had so recklessly put them all at risk.

A brief, too perceptive pause. Arya folded her arms. “Well I’m not. Nor do I think it’s doing you any good to sit around, moping.”

Ears pinned, Lyrha stared pointedly at her splinted arm. “I’m not moping. I’m resting.”

“That pirate broke your arm, your legs still work just fine. If X’rhun was here–”

“Well he’s not.” Lyrha snapped, meaner than she’d intended. She turned harshly on the bed to face away from Arya.

A pause. Lyrha’s tail flickered back and forth with blatant agitation. The corners of her eyes burned. He wasn’t here, and it was her fault. 

All for nothing, too. Baagvai still walked free - only now he had a reason to hunt her. 

Lyrha was crippled. It would take weeks to know if the damage would be permanent.

And X’rhun may have finally had enough of her unruly temperament. 

She shut her eyes tight.

“If I’d just kept my head–” She confessed, only to stagger off, brow furrowed with hostile grief. “I got too angry. I’m always too fuckin’ angry, and X’rhun knows it. He’s right. It’s not worthy of the Red.”

Arya gaped. Lyrha couldn’t see it, curled into herself with her back turned, but she’d heard that little inhale plenty of times before. 

And then something happened that she did not expect.

The weight on the bed shifted. Arya’s hand brushed over Lyrha’s waist. Suddenly she was being pulled into a tight hug from behind. 

Fur fluffing out, Lyrha felt a growl bubble in her throat.

Arya didn’t retreat. Just pressed her forehead to the space between Lyrha’s shoulders, and held her there in a firm embrace. “Don’t say such cruel things.” The girl’s voice cracked.

“It ain’t cruel if it’s the truth.” Lyrha answered, teeth bared under slitted eyes. Agitation stung. 

“It isn’t true.” Arya asserted. “You belong here, just as much as X’rhun. One defeat doesn’t change that, does it?”

Little Sister wasn’t soft, but there was a lot about the world she didn’t know. Some things you just couldn’t explain to a person. Certain realities had to be experienced to be understood. So Lyrha held her tongue and kept the horrors locked away inside. 

For a while, the room remained draped in dreary quiet, except for the thrumming of their hearts.

But Arya kept ahold of her, until the tension in Lyrha’s shoulders eased somewhat. 

After another moment,  Little Sister reached through the silence. “Killing that pirate… it’ll help protect people. Other girls like you and me.” She said quietly, “But it won’t change what’s already happened. I — I think that’s what X’rhun was trying to tell you, before. If all you can see is what’s behind, you’ve taken your eyes off the foe in front of you.”

“…I know.” Lyrha answered limply, though Rhun’s words had been far less kind, and the sharp set to his shoulders when he turned away from her had become a wound all its own to endure. 

The mush of Arya’s nose against Lyrha’s back followed. “He told us. Red Mages defend the defenseless, with Heart and Steel. You didn’t break your oath, I’lryha. Even – even if the person you were trying to save was yourself, the child you once were. She deserved protection. And you still do, now.”

A sudden, bright flare of sick curdled her gut, and Lyrha shut her eyes. Fought herself. Tears fell again. A sniffle gave her away. 

Arya tugged closer.

Sobs followed, the kind that shook Lyrha all over. She didn’t have the fortitude to stopper it. Chest-wrenching, stomach churning, violent pain left her dizzy with grief. 

She wept for the child she had been and the woman she became. Right now, they were one and the same. 

For everything she’d lost and everything she’d taken. Debts that couldn’t be repaid. 

For her foolishness, for her hopes. Parts of her she couldn’t expunge. 

For the gentle touch of Little Sister, who chose love over hate so intuitively, in a way Lyrha didn’t know how to mimic, least of all toward her own self. Least of all now.  

Arya held her through all of that, too.

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Maybe I'lyrha with [🧞‍♂️- if my muse was granted three wishes, what would they be and why?] please?

Man this is a tough question hahahah HMM

Lyrha buried the part of herself that made wishes for a long time and I think there's still a part of her that's hesitant to daydream about things that aren't actually feasible. It's a little at odds with her otherwise very superstitious nature, though maybe not entirely surprising given what she had to survive. But if forced to consider it (or softened enough) she'd probably choose:

If not to outright undo what she'd done, then a way to find ALL the people she sold during her days as a slaver. It would be in order to free those still living and help them get back on their feet, or at least give their families closure. This is one of those things that, no matter how much good she does now, how many people she saves and how bitterly she regrets her past, she can't undo the harm she caused. She has frequent nightmares about it and a great deal of insecurity over never really being able to "balance" that scale.

For X'rhun to live at least as long as she does, so that she never has to be without him.

Swift death to Baagvai and all the men like him, who kidnapped her as a child, raising and manipulating her into the life and livelihood of villainy she is now so ashamed of.

Headcanon Meme

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Would you ever write a fic set in Lyrha's past, during the time she was part of Baagvai's crew?

Yes! I'd honestly love to explore some of that in more detail. I'd actually really enjoy covering her actual kidnapping and Baagvai's battle with Rinha Nunh, because that becomes such a fundamental Moment in her story where her life is altered forever

Ask me Writer Would You Ever questions!

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If you're up for it, what was the first sexual encounter like for each of your OCs? If not all of them then your choice!

Ohh good question! Thank you! :D

Nahte's first attempt at sex was with a fellow Keeper of the Moon girl who took a liking to him. Though she was nice, there was no deep emotional connection, and it didn't go well. He ended up extremely uncomfortable and couldn't finish. It was so embarrassing/shameful that he pretty well avoided any other potential encounters for a while.

His first time really wanting sex was with A'mahl Tia. Their initial attempt... ALSO didn't go great. A'mahl was trying to be the bold dominant "Nunh" and Nahte was extremely uncomfortable and... they had to stop. Nahte felt terrible, even more certain something was wrong with him and that he must just not like sex at all.

A'mahl was feeling pretty bad too because he WANTED this to be good for Nahte. He actually ended up consulting a few ladies at the brothels in Limsa Lominsa, where the pair were living at the time, who advised him that Nahte might need more of a gentle, emotional approach.

Nahte was willing to try again, and when they took things slow he ended up feeling much more connected and aroused and - they were young, he was inexperienced, I won't pretend it was mind blowing intercourse - but it was, indeed, making love.

I'lyrha had to put up with plenty of "encounters" growing up as a pretty little thing on a slaving ship. It wasn't the worst it could be, for a while Captain Baagvai kept her around instead of selling her with the rest of his chattel because he liked her, and Lyrha came to see herself as part of his crew. The crew was smart enough not to take too many liberties with one of the Captain's favorites.

She lost her virginity to a pirate of her own choosing, but he hadn't exactly been concerned with her pleasure and it'd been a painful, rather underwhelming event. She continued to pair up with bad lovers who offered her social protection, using sex more as a tool to manipulate and bargain.

I'lyrha did not actually know that women can orgasm until she and X'rhun sleep together for the first time, which completely changes her perspective on what sex can mean. She would probably insist that was her first "real" time.

I'm actually not sure for Louis! I haven't done a lot of development for him in his young adult years yet, though I know he's a bit of a rover. It was probably a Moonkeeper girl during one of his family's visits to the Shroud, and he probably had a lot of fun, but beyond that? Well, he hasn't told me yet. lol

Tsimh grew up in the same clan as Nahte, but she took to the more casual approach to sex Moonkeepers have much better than her brother. A young Keeper man named Okkh'a was her first, by her choice, the two being fairly close as he visited the Vhia clan often to meet with the women.

Tsimh was adventurous and confident, and had enough practice just, learning what she liked about her own body in "personal time" beforehand that it was a relaxed and pleasant encounter for both of them. Okkh'a is one of her more frequent partners and eventually ended up being the father of her first child!

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Writer's Game

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven't written ten fics, share as many first-sentences as you have.

Tagged by @traveleorzea, thank you! :D I'll tag @seasaltandcopper @boggleoflight @starrysnowdrop @ronqueesha and... im not sure who else posts fic/shorts that hasn't been tagged already. But I'd love to see if you do!

I'm working off my Ao3 List from oldest to newest, here! Reminder again that all my Alisaie ship fics take place with her and Nahte in their 20s, and I assure you that she's the one wearing the pants in the relationship anyway

1. Jungle Fever-rr - Nahte/Alisaie || Rated E

Dawn snuck to the mountain peaks in a slow crawl, and then broke over Limsa Lominsa’s thick rainforest all at once - a wave of floating mist caught brilliant orange in the rising sun.

2. Our Trust - Nahte/Alisaie || Rated T

Nahte was loathe to separate from Mahl for any significant stretch of time.

3. Our Love - Nahte/Alisaie || Rated E

“I, ah…”, He failed, as usual where Alisaie was concerned, to speak eloquently, “Couldn’t sleep either. So maybe – you’d like something sweet after all?”

4. Taking the Red - X'rhun & I'lyrha || Rated T

He waltzed — yes, that was the word Lyrha thought best described him — into her room.

5. Bitter Bitter Bitter - X'rhun & I'lyrha || Rated T

She’d tasted bitterness before.

6. It's Not Stealing If They Deserved It - I'lyrha || Rated T

Ul’dah was always risky business.

7. Knights Light and Dark - Nahte/Haurchefant || Rated T

“Do not despair! All will be well!” Haurchefant’s voice carried clear and deep over the ice plain.

8. It Comes and Goes (In Waves) - I'lyrha & Arya || Rated T

A vague greyness had settled over Lyrha’s mood in the days that followed her ill-concieved solitary assault on the pirate king Baagvai’s crew.

9. Sailing on Ships in a Bottle - I'lyrha/A'mahl || Rated E

It had started, as most tavern brawls did, with a petty remark and too much ale.

10. Glass and Dust - I'lyrha/X'rhun || Rated M

Nightmares never used to plague her.