#baby elcor

[happyhumannoises2]

I’m not going to let you post the funniest thing I’ve ever read in the tags of my god damn post and let you get away with it

[mako-designated-driver]

"We already have every other non-human species abord. Might as well add an asari to the team"

With venomous sarcasm: You must be keeping the hanar on your fucking fish tank then, Shepard

[sol-consort]

I can imagine humans remaking beloved classic (in 2185 these are classics) movies and shows to include a mixed species cast so we can share those stories with the rest of the galaxy? Can you imagine version of The Office that takes place on the Citadel? Instead of Brooklyn 99 it’s Zakera 99? Imagine the MCU but we actually have aliens to fill in the alien roles. There’s currently a fully fleshed out version of space Hunger Games that exists solely in my head.

The elcor hamlet will always be my favourite and we were ROBBED by not being able to watch it in full in ME3. I would gladly actually pay for a dlc where you go to the theater to watch the elcor hamlet with a companion and keeping shushing them through the whole thing.

Can you imagine the comments Javik would say? The sass? The cuntiness? The audacity as he starts scoffing at the show but ends up being super invested at the end? Demanding to see more of these human theatre shows, it is a must now obey the protheon you primitive and take him on more theatre dates.

Can you imagine the insufferable person Garrus would be during it? Commenting on how this all could easily be solved if one of them just had a sniper rifle after every scene, saying how you should've booked the exclusive balcony tickets instead since they have the perfect position for sniping people.

Anyway so.

I think the aliens would find it so hilarious how we've depicted aliens in our medias so far before first contact. It becomes a widespread genre of shows that are just humans depictions of aliens. No matter what the show or movie genre is, it will always be treated as a comedy.

The only species not amused by this are the salarian who are actually offput by how close our alien depilation was of them and their technology. It's so uncanny and spot on for a mere guess so their government launched a secret program to check if salarians actually made any first contact with the humans by accident before.

Also the fact the elcor adapted helmet tells me that the aliens shows and movies just are boring at best and human widespread television will be a popular hit amongst the aliens who immediately get invested int the MCU, DC and especially these drama romance reality shows. It also spreads a misconception that this is how humans actually choose their mate, by bringing in a harem and eliminating them one by one by not offering a rose.

There's is an influx of species suddenly giving a single rose to their human crush.

The drell love aquaman, that's all I have to say.

Also spongebob, it becomes a great hit with their children. Turians kids prefer paw patrols while the asari claim they would never show their children human trash shows but turn on cocomelon in secret because it's the only thing that gets their screaming babies to quiet down.

Also batman will definitely become a great obsession to the turians, cough Garrus cough, who may or may not go through a batman phase.

It's not the asari who end up gravitating towards movies like the barbie movie or bridesmaids, but the salarians instead. They're absolutely invested in desperate housewives and drag shows, having full on scientific debates on the current drama in the show.

[brinteylovesaliens]

HC for FemShep that @sarahsmiles1991 and I came up with today...

Shep: gods first a turIan wants me to be a spectre, another wanted me to join with him as a slave to sovereign, then another turian wants me captured so he could live like a king, and then they want me to do things for them like save their planet, son and a head of a geth,what is it turians DON'T want from me?

Garrus: ... to die, we don't want you to die

Meshep: as sweet as that is, Sare-

Garrus: Siren was being brainwashed by a reaper, believe me many turians would kill to be in my position.

Victus: the Turian Hierarchy received a request to officially recognize Commander Shepard as a Turian citizen. I've also received requests for marriage requests from many families for the Commander.

Wrex: yeah? Well she's already officially a Krogan and has had breeding requests.

Tali: yeah, well she's already a Quarian Captain and can link suits with literally anyone she wants!

Geth: consensus was reached by 99.99999999999993% of all Geth that Shepard-Commander is Geth. She has entered our consensus space twice and survived. And is nice to us. We.. like her.

Balak: All Batarians want her dead

Bray: not me

Balak: except Bray

Bray: I'd marry her of she wanted

Balak: he's a bad Batarian

Aria: she can be my co-Queen.

Balak: Batarians want her dead

Batarians: nah, we're cool with her

Balak: but..

Batarians: she can hold her own word us. She's badass. And doesn't kill us just for being Batarian

Balak:

Bray: she kinda threatened me once. It was hot.

Balak: ... okay maybe I was turned on when she said she would hunt me down BUT I STILL WANT HER DEAD

Balak: she blew up our solar system!

Bray: yeah, for a good reason

Balak: PEOPLE DIED!

Bray: yeah, and billions lived because of it

Balak: ffs

Bray: I wish to make babies with her

Hanar: this one would also like to say that Shepard has been requested to mate as well for bringing back one of the enkindlers, along with the drell of course.

Elcor: Shyly excited, we too have accepted her as one of us after saving us

Volus: .....yeah I guess would make a good mate if she wanted us

Morlan: she is welcome in my shop at a 90% discount

Salarians: while one old bitch doesn't like the fact that she cured the genophage many has asked to send thier ancestor genes to her if she would be interested [we then discussed hoe Salarians swap genealogy stuff..]

Asari: ... ya no we want her we want many shep asari

We'll need to add more as we go..

[irikahkrios]

was thinking once again about how bullshit it is that the lore establishes the asari as this extremely powerful long-lived species who have made massive sweeping contributions to galactic culture, science, art, etc. and then 90 percent of the in-game dialogue about them is about how much they fuck/how sexy everyone thinks they are/how they want to have babies with all the other species/etc. nothing new, we've covered this already and are all hopefully aware of how dumb it is. but it did get me thinking.

how fun would it have been if they'd kept all the weird sex stuff but made the asari just. weird as HELL physically. like something more in line with the nonhumanoid species like the hanar or the elcor. what if the asari are still considered super sexy by all other species but they look like freaky monster things with six arms and spiked tails instead of human women painted blue and wearing skimpy clothing. that would have been fun

[novemberocean]

What do u think baby elcor look like

[drelldreams]

me4 wishlist:

- unreal 5 engine

- bigger hubs. i wanna be able to go inside a shopping mall on illium or on the citadel for real. let me see all that alien fashion and the gadgets of different species. i would even be thrilled to just be able to enter a grocery store and see all the alien foods.

- ability to buy clothes from malls or foods (just for fun) from grocery stores

- also the option to visit a hairdresser and get a new haircut, to get tattoos at the tattoo parlor, or maybe different make up at a beauty salon

- baby, children and teen npc‘s. the lack of children in mass effect takes away the realism. you‘d think there would be kids on the citadel or on illium.. adding kids would make the gaming experience seem much more realistic.

- more diversity in outfits for npc‘s. it would be so cool to see some actual unique alien fashion in the game rather than just that boring standard suit for men of all races whether krogan, salarian, turian, human and that standard dress for all the asari and human women. plus humans need more diversity in hairstyles no way they‘ve all got the same 5 haircuts in the 22nd century

- getting to see more of thessia. i wanna be able to walk through town in thessia on a sunny day, no reapers.

- a palaven & kahje hub and missions on those planets

- i genuinely wanna see the vorcha, volus, and elcor homeworlds heshtok, irune and dekuuna too

- a vorcha character that isn‘t a primitive brute but has an actual personality and morals

- new species! please let us see some of those species from the terminus system apparently there are dozens others aside the yahg, lystheni, drell that are relatively unknown as well, and they‘re never mentioned by name in the game.

- more of the rachni if you saved them

- squadmates roaming around the ship and the hubs

- option to send squadmates on strike missions. assign a squad leader that leads a small squad while you are working on something else with your squad.

- be able to take more than two squadmates with you

- ability to play an alien

- multiplayer version

- an abundance of lesbian and gay romance options. don‘t do the squadmates in me4 dirty like thane, jack and miranda who were supposed to be bi, but were changed to be straight

[kennexara]

also on the topic of mass effect even though i’m not to the third game (barely started the second) i’ve been thinking about what a more satisfying ending would be. 

for a long time i was just like ‘idk just something other than dead/mostly dead’ but that was definitely when i was still in like, depression mode and angry at sacrifice storylines. i mean i’m out of depression mode but sacrifice storylines still piss me off most of the time. yes they have a place i just don’t like that place being near my blorbos

ANYWAYS for some reason i remembered percy jackson and how percy turns down godhood and then, to quote that hilarious text post, tells the gods uhh how about instead you pay your fucking child support?

and i do think something similar would be satisfying. like, the council is like ‘oh you’re a hero shepard who saved us all do you want to take anderson’s place on the council?’ (SEE i can appreciate a sacrifice sometimes even if i bawl like a baby everytime bc that’s my space dad!!!!!!) 

and then shepards like uhhh fuck no. how about instead you give every species a seat on the council? i’m talking quarians krogans volus elcor hanar drell etc etc. ooh and the geth (shepard does destroy ending BUT because the synthetics and organics were working in sync and had legions code changes (another sacrifice i can appreciate it!!) and like edi updated her own code from purely self-preservation they all are a bit organic no longer 100% synthetic in a tiny but significant way and so survive bc i said so). 

and so it’s truly a united galaxy and yayyy galactic peace.

also semi-related how does shepard survive citadel collapse? i’m so glad you asked! two things: one, cereberus implants make her yknow way stronger and tougher to kill. two, saving the rachi queen twice over pays off in a big way, rachni queen has idk a connection to shepard and so can pinpoint her location so yknow they rescue her before miranda has to start up project lazarus 2.0.

[imperatoralicia]

Me looking at the original Mass Effect elcor characters: Haha, those silly aliens!

Me looking at the positively ripped elcor beefcakes in Legendary Edition: Haha, th...*profuse sweating*...oh boy...

[kaidans-alenko]

liliiiiiiiii i gotta know, wedding hcs for kaidan and lily?

Andre the can of worms you just opened

In willow(I forget which chapter) but they get married by an elcor officiant on the Citadel but Ashley, Tali and Kaidan's mother are like "that absolutely will not do" and pressure them into having an actual ceremony post war

Ashley: You of all people don't want a day where you're the center of attention?

Lily: If you were to ask my therapist and Kaidan my delusions of grandeur lead me to believe everyday is about me....but I see your point.

Their colors are red, black and silver, this is non negotiable

Lily: No! You aren't wearing your dress blues, it goes against the color scheme!

Kaidan: Your color scheme are the N7 colors!

Lily: And? What about it?!

Kaidan: Well if you wanna get technical my dress blues will blend right in

Lily: Another word and I leave you at the alter 🔪

he ends up wearing an all black suit with a red rose on his lapel 😊

Lily wears an all white mermaid style gown with lace which is more simple than everyone was expecting(she's like 4'11 and a half a big ballgown would devour her ssdfghj)

Lily makes it her life mission to track down that elcor who originally married them and pay his way to Earth if he's willing to marry them again(he agrees)

Aiden walks her down the aisle and cries the entire time

"My baby sister is all grown up 😭"

"We're....the same age"

Ashley is her maid of honor while Jack, Tali and Miranda are bridesmaids 🥰

Choosing the cake is actually more difficult than picking out a venue because Kaidan doesn't like sweets like not in any capacity. They settle on red velvet because his mother rats him out "you like red velvet right? I made it every year for your birthday remember?"

Lily: *snaps her fork in half* I'm marrying the most stubborn man in the galaxy.

despite all *that*™ it all goes pretty well they do up his family orchard real nice, Ashley catches the bouquet and Lily proceeds to tease Aiden and Ashley about it all night.

Lily gets too drunk and makes a distasteful joke about honeymooning on Virmire orz

oh and here's some more pictures

[happyhumannoises2]

Elcor are under rated friend shaped blessings to the world

[sol-consort]

TALI!!!!! Also they should give Krogans cats I feel like Krogans would like their vibes

yeah it's very cute to think about Krogans cuddling with cats and being best friends!

But realistically... look at their treatment of pyjaks and varren. Nom nom nom or fighting rings. Cats often steal food from humans, yet we don't go blasting them off with military grade rockets... At least I hope we haven't, someone check the history records rq.

That side mission segment never sat well with me in ME2. Especially after that ME1 Pyjack mission where you have to search for important datadisk stolen by a pyjack, having to abandon the mako so you don't accidentally hurt them, carefully search one after another, doing whatever you can to avoid harming these cute monkey-like animals.

Sure, some krogans do keep them as decently treated pets, but those are rare and few in-between. It's a nurtured habit rather than something ingrained in their nature, krogans used to be in the stone ages before they were forcibly "uplifted" by the salarians. As their society develops and gets comfortable with safety, animal cruelty will become a thing of the past... hopefully.

Currently, krogans haven't been big on animals. Cats wouldn't like Tuchanka either, too much radiation and sand storms. Krogans might find snapping turtles adorable, however.

Hanar hold very high empathy to animals, animal fighting rings, and anything unsavoury are forbidden from all of their planets. Believing in every creature having a soul, etc. Cats would abhor their slimy squishy texture—like how they have mysterious beef with cucumbers—but hanar might find them extremely adorable.

Elcor and cats share the trait of subtle body language and highly complex communication that has to be "watered down" for the other species to understand. I feel like they'd get along, cats would love napping on them, they're a big soft heater to them.

Lastly, a portion of our love of cats comes from them literally infecting us with a brain parasite, Toxoplasma gondii. It's meant for cat-prey to get infected, but humans' immune system is far too strong for it to do any harm besides slight flu symptoms at the early stages of the infection. After that, it remains dormant in our brain. We are a dead-end host, offer zero benefits to the parasite, we were never meant to be its target.

But it slightly increases our dopamine, which is nice.

it still has negative side effects, that's why pregnant women are told not to handle cat litter boxes; the parasite resides in cats' digestive system.

If you see a rat being playful with a cat or running towards them, chances are the parasite is well developed in the rat's brain. That's literally what it does, makes you seek cats.

it's why infected people start noticing their cats smelling nice like "baby powder" and have this urge to smooch their fur. In rats, it makes cat urine smell unbelievably good, so they go running towards it.

It just happened that this behaviour in humans translates into a feeling of love, euphoria, and elation when petting a cat, wanting to pick them up and smoother them in hugs and kisses.

Approximately 30% of the human population have toxoplasmosis, chances are if you ever owned a cat and cuddled, you have it. So yay I'm infected, you probably are too.

That alone might deter any alien species from ever interacting with cats. The "crazy cat lover" effect might amplify in species with weaker immune systems, aka quarians, or simply different proteins structures, aka turians.

But eh, it's probably nothing, Sid—a turian—is shown to love cats lots. Infected humans can't spread the parasite to others either—the infected host needs to die for it to happen. The immune system can't exactly enter the brain, only monitor it from outside the barrier for any signs of danger. So the parasite is kept imprisoned and gets bonked on the head whenever it tries to leave.

Btw cats aren't actually infected by their own parasite, they have sort of a symbiotic relationship with it. Toxoplasma gondii has two life cycles. One starts as they're born inside a cat's bowels, they are harmless and mostly beneficial to their original host.

The second cycle starts after they're thrown out in the litter box. Now they seek a new "prey" host to infect the brains of. Releasing chemicals and slightly altering your perspection of things. Increasing your risk of schizophrenia. Subtle agitation in the eyes.

You can also get it from uncooked meat or unwashed vegetables, so it's not that scary or dire of a parasite. It's just that cats are its most successful symbotic host to this day.

But if your immune system experiences a major failure and shuts down for a prolonged amount of time, the parasite will break from its cage and start spreading.

Congestive faculties start shutting down, eye blindness in some cases, until it eventually kills you.

That's also true with any sort of bacteria or parasite you catch while your immune system is down, it's easy to set a village ablaze with nothing but a single match once the castle walls crash down.

Toxoplasma gondii isn't special; anything can kill you! Without your immune system, you're just a bag of flesh and blood, susceptible to rot and being cannibalised by the air particles themselves.

But don't worry! this is normal for your body... sometimes. Only 43% of the human body is actually...uh human. The rest are foreign bacteria, microbes, fungi, some parasites, and other things that we collect throughout our journey of life. We even trade bacteria with other humans we meet all the time without realising it.

The majority of you—the physical you—is in fact, not you. You—cells you create—are a minority in your own body ecosystem.

Why do you think humans are so deadly to turians? We are a walking swamp, A living breathing extremely diverse bio-ecosystem. A dormant parasite or a two is nothing.

[mlm-writer]

Red Tape and Cutting Corners - CH5: Blowing Off Steam

Masterlist + metadata on this fic

A drop of sweat rolled down the C-sec officer’s temple as he waited for his colleagues to return, hands stuck in biotic dampeners. Interestingly, the cuffs calmed his migraine a little. Either that or his meds were working for a change. It was hard to tell if it was him or his partner that brought on the interrogation this morning. He had a feeling it was Garrus though and not only because most questions were centred around his Turian partner. If Kaidan had to take a wild guess, his partner had the tendency to solve cases at 5 protocol breaches an hour. The door opened and said partner stood there with a triumphant look on his face. One could see a Turian for the first time and still spot the victory edged in his features. “Missed me?”

“What the hell, Garrus,” Kaidan replied as his partner freed him from the biotic dampeners. “What did you do?”

Garrus held his hands up. “Hey, I am obviously a free man. Here.” Kaidan could not take the datapad from Garrus’ hand soon enough and then wished he didn’t finish that huge bagel this morning. Crime scene photos, most of them from a dead body, promised to haunt him as they appeared on the screen. The body had a huge gaping wound at the base of the neck, the knife still in her hand and blood everywhere. “Recognise her?”

Kaidan squinted at the screen. It was an Asari. “The facial markings are familiar,” he finally said, thinking it a better thing to say than ‘yeah sorry I still can’t tell Asari apart. They all look blue’. Garrus let out a frustrated noise and took the datapad to scroll through the pictures.

“How is your memory this bad? That’s Naia.” He put the datapad on the table, the screen displaying a business card with 4 digits written on them. “And that’s my card.” Before Kaidan could ask anything, Garrus tossed a sealed bag with a flyer on the table. “And that’s what they found in the safe they opened with the code on my card.” Kaidan turned the bag over, taking in as much of the flyer, without taking it out.

“That’s the club the medi-dispenser led us to,” he nearly whispered as his brain worked over-time to find out what a dead Asari and a lost medi-gel dispenser had in common. It seemed like the set up for a bad joke.

“Now we have that warrant to turn the place upside down. Want to come along? Captain put us on this.” Kaidan gave his smug partner a shove and finally stood up from the chair in the interrogation room. Any longer and he would have had to walk around with the thing stuck to his behind.

Nothing was as satisfying as seeing the Asari that so confidently told them to fuck off yesterday, looking almost baby blue when they stormed the place with a unit. What posed as a normal 24/7 club had a rather large back section full of inebriated Asari, who hardly had any idea of what was going on. Garrus and Kaidan were standing in one of the private rooms with the owner sitting cuffed to a chair, studying the small bottle labelled as ‘B-qua’. The liquid inside looked like medi-gel. Any smart person would have kept the stuff in medi-gel packages.

“It’s not looking good for you, T’Fari. We got enough drugs here to send you to prison until you reach nearly the end of your matriarch stage,” Garrus drawled as he handed the bottle to Kaidan and closed the distance between him and the club owner. “But we could maybe let you have a sentence more fit for an Elcor? Just need your supplier.” T’Fari kept her head high in spite of being in handcuffs. Not a word left her lips. “Very well, you might want to talk at the academy. Kaidan?” Kaidan perked up at the sudden mention of his name. “I didn’t charge these cuffs, so I don’t think they will make it till we reach the academy. I have an extra pair in the skycar.”

Kaidan raised a brow, but all he said was “on it, boss” and then left the room to get the cuffs. From the second he stepped out of the door, there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, which was a great side dish for the migraine he was still supporting. With quick paces, he walked through the compound, passing by people coming off B-Qua, officers taking statements and cuffed staff members being hauled away. The screaming and cursing fed the pain just above his right ear. Once at the skycar, he dug around the glove compartment, where he left some meds. He swallowed one pill, no water or food to smooth the way of the huge pill travelling down his oesophagus. Kaidan let out a grunt as he looked through the car for the biotic dampener cuffs. When all the obvious places were empty, Kaidan paused. It took him just a second before he was sprinting across the compound, apologising profusely to all the officers, witnesses and suspects he ran into.

When Kaidan finally reached his destination, it was too late. T’Fari was lying face down on the floor, blood staining the ground below her head and bruises covering her face. The only solace he could find in the display was her body rising and falling with rapid breath. “What did you do?” He demanded from his partner on the other side of the room, in spite of knowing exactly what Garrus had done.

“She panicked, when I told her the sentence she could expect and fell over. Come on, we will find a treat in the basement.” Kaidan tried to get a word in, but Garrus pushed past him and raced towards the bar. He slid over the bar like a show-off. Kaidan simply walked through the opening made for staff members.  

“Garrus did you…? Why am I even asking, I know you did. What were you…? What am I saying, do you ever even think? Besides, we checked, there is not even a base...” Garrus pointedly ignored him as he led the way behind the bar, running his talons over the mirror-covered wall behind it. Kaidan spoke under his breath, trying to not make a scene, while simultaneously losing his mind. “I know you are a little loose with protocol, but beating up a suspect… are you…”

He stopped mid-sentence as Garrus held up his hand and pointed towards the wall. There was a seam between the mirrors that was suspiciously big. The mirrors on either side of the seam were much more damaged along the seam than any other part. Feeling the rage boiling in his nerves, Kaidan lightened up his biotics, before digging his hands between the mirrors and tearing the wall in a display or broken glass and bent metal. As the light surrounding him died down and the smell of ozone filled the air, he looked at the mess he made, then the stairs behind what once was a wall and then at his partner. The best he could describe the other man was gaping like a fish, but it wasn’t like he had never seen him use his biotics before. “Garrus, what the hell?”

It seemed to snap his partner right out of his trance, as he shook his head and turned to shine his torch for a better view of the stairs.  “Can we talk about this later?” Kaidan acquiesced, before they had an altercation that would make it to the higher ups. Well, the higher ups of C-sec could have him. Captain Comisius however…

With guns drawn and their flashlights illuminating their journey down the basement, they found it empty, save for a table with a medi-gel dispenser on top. Kaiden dropped his gun and torch, letting Garrus do the light as he scanned the dispenser with his omnitool. “It matches the serial number of the med-dispenser that went missing a few streets back, but I am reading some modifications.” There was a pause as Kaidan performed his scans. “The ultrasound module has abnormal activity. Usually it only sends short bursts into the storage compartment to keep the medi-gel in a liquid form, but this one sends a modified frequency consistently.”

The lights flickered on, before Garrus came to stand next to him. “So what? It’s broken,” he commented, before picking the device up, hauling it over his shoulder. “In any case, you got what you wanted, a win.”

Kaidan’s face contorted into a frown so deep that even Garrus could tell it was not good. “Let’s give this dispenser to the forensic unit and then we’re going to have a talk,” the human gritted out through his teeth in a way that got Garrus feeling a little on edge as he carried the medi-gel dispenser up the stairs. He wanted to hand it over to forensics, but none of the Salarians could carry the device. It offered the perfect opportunity for him to offer to bring it to their lab, leaving Kaidan for a while.

The little lone dog trip was also the best moment to reflect on his actions. However, Garrus was adamant. His methods got results. His story was an obvious lie, but C-sec hardly cared when it came down to results. Skirting protocol was normal and Kaidan was just a pain in his ass. With that new-found resolve, he entered his office a little while later, just to find Kaidan on the sofa with a datapad. The human was basically fuming, but it was too late to turn around now. The door shut behind Garrus and the datapad was thrown onto the coffee table with a force that put a crack into the screen.

“Is this how you treat your partner?” Kaidan yelled as he pointed to the datapad. Garrus picked it up, finding it to be a report from Dr Michel. “After everything I told you, you still defy captain’s orders and don’t even tell me about it? When did you even have time to tell every Elcor on the station to do a blood test?” To save time, Garrus scrolled to the end, the dreaded words blinking back at him from the screen. No conclusive results found.

“I did not break any rules for this, Kaidan. I just sent one email to 173 Elcors telling them to get their blood tested.” “The captain told you to drop it.” “People might be in danger, Kaidan.” “Yes! Us! And not to forget about beating up T’Fari…”

Garrus did not know what came over him. Kaidan was all up in his face and he did not appreciate it. He grabbed Kaidan by his collar, effectively putting a stop to the human’s speech, and raised him off his feet so their eyes could meet a little easier. “You know for your whole ‘good boy’ shtick, you care awfully little about people.”

Kaidan bared his teeth, the prickle of biotics dancing over his skin and Garrus’ plates. “Put me down. Now.” Garrus could feel the electric sensation caress even the plates underneath his armour. It should have been a hint, but he was not taking it.

“Naia could’ve been alive, but you just had to be a good pet to…” Garrus couldn’t finish his sentence. The air got knocked out of him as Kaidan sent him backwards into the drawers with a biotic kick. The drawers creaked under the force, but not enough force was applied to bend them. Garrus didn’t need to get his bearings, before pushing himself back on his feet and giving Kaidan a solid right hook to the face. “If all you’re good for is following rules, become an accountant!”

Kaidan stumbled back, tripping over the coffee table. He caught himself with his biotics and flipped himself on top of the couch. “What is the point of enforcing the law, if you’re not even following it yourself?” Kaidan yelled back, full on glowing now, his nose bleeding. He leaped, fully intending on smashing Garrus with his full power, but the more seasoned fighter saw it coming and dodged. The floor bent under the force, scorch marks leaving permanent evidence of Kaidan’s presence here. With Kaidan’s fists still planted in the ground, Garrus kicked him in the back, forcing Kaidan’s face to have a meeting with the freshly branded floor.

Garrus rested his foot between Kaidan’s shoulders, keeping him down and leering at him. He had barely moved his tongue to speak and Kaidan was already throwing his next attack. A strong biotic pulse came from his bruised body and threw Garrus into the air. He landed on top of his desk, breaking his terminal, before ending up on the other side of it. The force of the pulse flipped over the coffee table, toppled over the stacks of datapads and put a crack into the large windows offering a view of the central hall of C-sec Academy a few floors down.

Garrus rested against the cracked window, panting as he rested for a moment. When there was no Kaidan stomping his way, he attempted to stand up. With a grunt and the leverage of his fallen chair, he got back on his feet, a little hunched over and clutching his hurting lower back.

Kaidan was still on the floor on his knees, doubled over. Garrus watched as Kaidan tried to get up, but failed barely halfway due to a coughing fit. The Turian did not move, until the tell-tale smell of iron filled the air. He leaped over his ruined desk and tried to step between fallen datapads. When he came closer, he noticed the little pool of blood on the floor below Kaidan.

“Kaidan? Kaidan!” He forced the human’s upper body upright, accessing the damage. There was blood trickling down his partner’s temple and nose, but nothing as concerning as the red that covered Kaidan’s lips and hand. He had paled and seemed so tired he could pass out. Garrus put his arms underneath Kaidan’s and lifted him up despite the pain in his back - and multiple other places, if he was completely honest with himself. The couch was still upright and surprisingly empty. Garrus laid his partner down on it and started to rifle through his pockets, until he found what he was looking for. With his mouth plates, he opened the package, before forcefully opening Kaidan’s mouth. “Fucking idiot, using your biotics when you have not had lunch yet,” he grumbled as Kaidan stared at him deliriously, all the while absent-mindedly chewing on the nutrient bar.

Garrus continued to force-feed him, until there was nothing left of the nutrient bar. Kaidan was out cold right after. Garrus monitored his vitals as he rifled through the drawers for forgotten napkins from take-out meals. When they were found, he kneeled beside the couch and started dabbing the blood off Kaidan’s face.

It was nerve-wracking. Human flesh was so soft, seemed so vulnerable and sleeping like this, Kaidan looked nothing but innocent. In many ways, he was. It was easy to forget their earlier fight as Garrus ran the napkins across his temple and under his nose. If regular human flesh was soft, Garrus was not prepared to run the napkins over Kaidan’s lips. He paused after wiping one corner. It felt like his brain had its wires crossed for a second, but he didn’t dwell on it. Kaidan was looking mostly presentable by the time Garrus was done. He sat with his back against the couch, his omnitool linked to the computer in Kaidan’s standardised C-sec armour.

With the occasional glance at Kaidan's vitals, Garrus set to reading the datapad that started the fight. The cracked screen made it hard to read, but Dr. Michel had been as thorough as always. None of the compounds she had found before contacting him had been found in the Elcor that visited her clinic after Garrus’ massmail. There were traces of broken down nanides, but those were present in standard medi-gel nowadays.

The Turian sighed, hanging his head a little as he was faced with yet another dead end. One glance around the room made him wonder if his hunches were really worth all of this. Mandibles flared in annoyance, before he pushed himself to his feet. First things first, he needed some medi-gel himself.

[elizashepard]

Favorite parts of Mass Effect so far:

Garrus, approximately: “I guess if you locked a baby in a closet until it was 16 it would be pretty messed up too.”

Finding an in-game radio station to play terrible rock tunes while shooting down turrets.

The poor engineer on an asteroid desperately trying to explain to my Shepherd why crashing an asteroid into a planet is bad even if it lands in the ocean. (Also the fact that he straight up shot me in the neck because I scared him.)

Everything about the Elcor.

Wrex. Just respect how much that guy knows what he’s about.

Not committing genocide!

[thievinghippo]

Dekuuna

Have some Shakarian fic while you wait for tomorrow!

A trip to Dekuuna

Baby elcor!

Garrus makes a realization

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31281332

[thebloodychampion]

Mass Effect Muses Timeline

Timeline Mass Effect Characters (Minus Andromeda)

Before CE counting and the rachni wars: Haxten Haghar is born and dies

200 CE: Haxten Traegar is born 220 CE: Haxten Travya is born 300 CE: Rachni War is over 785 CE: Nakmor Drack is born 801 CE: Madadh is born 886 CE: Wreav is born 905 CE: Haxten Treagar and Haxten Travva die 901 CE: Madadh joins clan Haxten 905 CE: Haxten clan gets destroyed 990 CE: Wreav joins clan Urdnot 1000 CE: Madadh joins clan Jurdon 1276 CE: Jirida Avequa is born 1376 CE: Ganar Drealav is born 1480 CE: Ganar Drealav joins the Silent Krogan 1562 CE: Karnesh is born on Korlus

Warlord Okeer and DNA

1676 CE: Nyx Avequa is born 1679 CE: Nyx father Gaernik dies 1694 CE: Nyx suffers from an illness, making her heart weaker 1780 CE: Nyx moves to the Citadel to become an acolyte to the consort 1786 CE: Cagar is born

Jorgal Qhorin and unknown female

1786 CE: Madadh and Nyx meet 1787 CE: Drealav joins the Blood Pack 1787 CE: Cagar gets taken away from Tuchanka by her father 1854 CE: Tunar Cede is born 1862 CE: Karnesh escapes from his father to Omega 1862 CE: Karnesh joins the Blood Pack 1872 CE: Karnesh gets injured from Jirida during a fight 1886 CE: Lisell is born

Jurdon Madadh & Nyx Avequa

1890 CE: Tasha is born 1895 CE: Geth War with the Quarians 2016 CE: Nyx tells Madadh about Lisell 2077 CE: Liara T’Soni is born 2078 CE: Renus Nyras is born 2083 CE: Valetta Nyras is born 2083 CE: Karnesh moves to the Citadel 2085 CE: Pelessaria B’Sayle is born 2086 CE: Cagar is rescued by Karnesh,her father Qhorin is killed by Karnesh 2088 CE: Arynus Sparatus is born 2089 CE: Maltenix Sparatus is born 2089 CE: Maniter Murion is born 2090 CE: Septer Suldonis is born 2093 CE: Karnesh is contacted by the Shadow Broker after getting viable information back 2096 CE: Myrean Nyras is born 2097 CE: Laxin Nyras is born 2105 CE: Vyrnus Draxas is born 2108 CE: Haral Nyras is born 2110 CE: Tania Suldonis is born 2112 CE: Cyrna Draxas is born 2112 CE: Marius Nyras is born 2113 CE: Karnesh becomes officially an agent of the Shadow Broker 2113 CE: Renius Sparatus is born 2113 CE: Haryn is born 2118 CE: Cloria Bonisis is born 2119 CE: Adrien Victus is born 2120 CE: Maniter Murion dies 2120 CE: Hieriax Sparatus is born 2122 CE: Ventra Sparatus 2124 CE: Macen Barro is born 2125 CE: Aleksej Blatov is born 2125 CE: Potiva Octatus is born 2126 CE: Luc Laxius is born 2128 CE: Lorik Qui’in is born 2129 CE: Alec Ryder is born 2130 CE: Taponia Murion is born 2130 CE: Quiva Ocatus is born 2130 CE: Liza Shepard is born 2131 CE: Ellen Ryder is born 2134 CE: Avitus Rix is born 2134 CE: Laxin Nyras dies 

Corpalis Syndrom

2135 CE: Irelius Draxas is born 2136 CE: Irelius’s parents find out he has CIPA syndrom 2136 CE: Quentius Zuris is born 2136 CE: Quentius parents die 2138 CE: Tibesius Suldonis is born 2139 CE: Cosna Salvilus is born 2139 CE: Caius Salvilus is born 2140 CE: Deros Maetos is born 2142 CE: Quitilia Suldonis is born 2143 CE: Radim Queriak and Lartis Queriak are born 2143 CE: Construction of Gagarin Station (Jump Zero) begins 2144 CE: Irius Sparatus is born

Renius Sparatus & Haryn Sparatus

2144 CE: Querina Draxas is born 2145 CE: Tayus Draxas is born 2145 CE: Irelius finds out he has biotics 2146 CE: Maxius Naeryas is born 2146 CE: Quentius gets adopted by an elcor and an asari 2146 CE: Haeris Tykis is born 2146 CE: Lucius Suldonis is born 2147 CE: Nymeda Ventas is born 2148 CE: Karnesh acquires the “Queen Anne’s Revenge” ship 2148 CE: Humand discover the Prothean Ruins on Mars 2149 CE: Myrean Nyras dies

Headshot from a batarian

2149 CE: Bautas Wrenkus is born 2149 CE: Renius Sparatus is recruited in the Black Watch 2149 CE: Humans discovered a Mass Relay 2150 CE: Garrus Vakarian is born 2151 CE: Maron Hinom is born 2152 CE: Irelius is sent to the Cabals 2153 CE: Irelius escapes the Cabals by killing an instructor by accident 2153 CE: Invictus is created by Irelius for a short time 2153 CE: Irelius flees to Omega and meets Lisell 2154 CE: Nedra Shepard and Nigel Shepard are born 2154 CE: Oswin Shepard is born under the name Alexandria Petrovka 2154 CE: Noah Shepard is born 2154 CE: Liza Shepard dies

Unknown?

2156 CE: Bono Baffabar is born 2156 CE: Torana Sparatus is born

Renius Sparatus & Haryn Sparatus

2157 CE: Relay 314 Incident / First Contact War 2157 CE: Ventra Sparatus dies

Killed in action on Shanxi

2157 CE: Hieriax Sparatus dies

Killed in action on Shanxi

2158 CE: Arynus Sparatus dies

Suicide

2158 CE: Maltenix Sparatus dies

Heart Failure

2158 CE: Vivia Bonisis is born

Marius Nyras & Cloria Bonisis

2158 CE: Tibesius gets married to Aedisia Quaril (arranged) 2159 CE: Serlio Salvilus is born

Caius Salvilus & Quitilia Salvilus

2160 CE: Titus Faion is born 2160 CE: Irelius becomes Clavius and changes his whole identity 2160 CE: Clavius joins the Blue Suns 2160 CE: Shaela’Riel is born 2160 CE: Camilea Octatus is born 2162 CE: Nolus Abgius is born 2161 CE: Max Kyrik is born

Nihlus Kryik & Taponia Murion

2161 CE: Irius enlists in the military 2161 CE: Han’Xanis is born 2163 CE: Salla Ryder and Andrew Ryder are born 2163 CE: Silia Salvilus is born

Haral Nyras & Quitilia Salvilus

2165 CE: Yandra Nyras and Tachyus Nyras are born 2166 CE: Anaya Kuik is born 2166 CE: Sunip Malone is born 2167 CE: Irius Sparatus quiets the military and goes to the Citadel 2167 CE: Lisell Avequa adopts Han on Illium 2167 CE: Maron destroys an STG base and is on the run from STG 2168 CE: Irius becomes an assistant to the Turian Councilor 2168 CE: Renus Nyras dies

Heart Failure

2168 CE: Haeris Tykis father Commander Vyrnus dies

Killed by Kaidan Alenko

2170 CE: Human Colony of Mindoir is attacked by Batarian slavers 2172 CE: Valetta Nyras dies

Old Age

2172 CE: Septer Suldonis and Tania Suldonis die

Old Age

2173 CE: Irius Sparatus becomes Turian Councilor 2174 CE: Serlio enlists in boot camp 2175 CE: Vyrnus Draxas dies

Assassinated

2176 CE: Attack on Ellysium happens 2176 CE: Nedra Shepard defends the colony of Ellysium 2176 CE: Clavius Tarxis meets Camilea Octatus 2176 CE: Nolus parent’s die 2176 CE: Karnesh meets Maron on the Citadel 2177 CE: Thresher Maws wipe out an entire unit on Akuze 2177 CE: Lexia Tarxis is born 2177 CE: Clavius quits the Blue Suns 2178 CE: Retaliation of Elysium on moon of Torfan 2178 CE: Noah Shepard kills the batarians on the moon. 2178 CE: Oswin does the same thing. 2178 CE: Quitilia Suldonis dies

Explosion

2178 CE: Cosna Salvilus fakes his own death 2178 CE: Clavius becomes Irius bodyguard after he kills the remaining bodyguards 2178 CE: Silia gets kidnapped 2179 CE: Silia is getting back, but blinded 2179 CE: Serlio quits the military to be with his sister 2180 CE: Tibesius is rank of commander in the military 2180 CE: Tibesius has a drunken thing with another army officer 2180 CE: SAM short for Simulated Adaptive Matrix is constracted by Alec Ryder 2181 CE: Serlio and Silia get kicked out by Tibesius 2182 CE: Serlio and Silia live on Omega 2182 CE: Tachyus is diagnosed with Corpalis Syndrom 2183 CE: Serlio and Silia get to the Citadel with the help of Karnesh 2183 CE: Geth attack on Eden Prime 2183 CE: Nihlus Kryik dies

Killed by Saren Arterius

2183 CE: Matriarch Benezia dies

Killed by Shepard

2183 CE: Sovereign attacks the Citadel 2183 CE: Saren Arterius dies

Suicide / Killed by Commander Shepard

2183 CE: Noah, Oswin, Nedra Shepard are killed by the collectors 2184 CE: Shepards clone is stolen by Rasa from Lazarus Research Stationi 2185 CE: Noah, Oswin and Nedra are brought back to life by Cerberus 2185 CE: Andromeda Initiative is launched. 2185 CE: Nakmor Drack, Pelessaria B’Sayle, Avitus Rix, Alec Ryder, Salla Ryder, Andrew Ryder and Macen Barro all go to Andromeda. 2185 CE: Haryn Sparatus dies

Killed by Collectors

2185 CE: Collector Base is destroyed by Shepard 2185 CE: The Alpha Relay is destroyed by Shepard 2185 CE: Lisell and Han go to the Citadel to live with Nyx 2185 CE: Camephilia Octatus is born 2186 CE: Garrus mother dies

Corpalis Syndrom

2186 CE: Reaper War begins 2186 CE: Aleksei Blatov dies 2186 CE: Bautas Wrenkus dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Maxius Naeryas dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Lartis Queriak dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Radim Queriak dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Nymeda Ventas dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Deros Maetos dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Haeris Tykis dies

Killed in action during the Reaper War

2186 CE: Quentius Zuris is believed dead but gets into a coma 2186 CE: Marius Nyras is believe dead, goes into a coma 2186 CE: Reapers are destroyed 2187 CE: Haral Nyras quits the Blackwatch after suffering heavy casualties and being unable to walk 2187 CE: Renius spends a year in hospital and is unable to speak about what happened during the war. 2187 CE: Camilea’s parents and her little brother die

Killed by Ganar Drealav

2187 CE: Camephilia is kidnapped by Ganar Drealav 2187 CE: Haral meets Lisell 2187 CE: Renius begins dating Vivia Bonisis 2187 CE: Maron Hinom dies

Old Age

2187 CE: Marius wakes up from his coma but has amnesia 2187 CE: Nyx Avequa and Jurdon Madadh are reunited 2188 CE: Cosna Salvilus dies

KIlled by Ganar Drealav

2188 CE: Nararo Avequa and Zelga Avequa are born

Jurdon Madadh & Nyx Avequa

2188 CE: Lisell gets married to Haral Nyras 2188 CE: Calivia Sparatus is born

Renius Sparatus & Vivia Bonisis

2189 CE: Livia Nyras is born

Haral Nyras & Lisell Avequa

2189 CE: Renius Sparatus stabs Nedra Shepard 2189 CE: Raik Cagar and Tunar Abgius are having krogan babies 2190 CE: Octalea Sparatus is born

Renius Sparatus & Vivia Bonisis

2191 CE: Tachyus Nyras dies

Corpalis Syndrom

2196 CE: Sunip Malone dies

Old Age

2198 CE: Tokol dies

Unknown Causes

2200 CE: Anaya Kuik dies

Kepral Snydrom

2215 CE: Tibesius Suldonis dies

Heart failure

2216 CE: Haral Nyras dies

Corpalis Syndrom 

2217 CE: Nymeda Nyras is born

Haral Nyras & Lisell Avequa

2218 CE: Irelius gets clones into three people and all have different personalities