#ballchinian

[spockvarietyhour]

Don't you ever talk to me or my son ever again!

[dunngeon]

I found this exchange w/ @ratfuck too excellent not to share

[therogueduchess]

I’m not clicking this ad but I am sharing the top portion

I initially read it as like, a ranking of actual people who are just really really good at sex

After I properly parse it’s nonsense, I was promptly distracted by the leonine dragon faces, who aren’t exactly bi-normatively gendered and I love that for them

And also how depending on how you look at it the one on the right either has boobs or a ballsack dangling from its chin

[victusinveritas]

Ahh, the infamous 1969 Roosevelt "Ballchinian" dime. It's nuts to actually find one. If you do, hang onto it. It'll definitely be considered one of the family jewels someday.

[amalthiaph]

I have a new favorite.

My redneck neighbor Doug tries to cheer me up with 'The Clone Wars'

CW: Doug-isms. Y'all know it.

-----

(text message exchange today)

Doug: Hey Dr. MM! Can I borrow your rake today?

Me: Sure, ask my husband. I'm busy.

Doug: Everything ok kid?

Me: No, my uncle passed yesterday. I'm sad.

Doug: Aw I am so sorry. He's with Jesus now. Or other types of Jesus. Did he believe in Jesus?

Me: Thanks Doug.

Doug: Oh since I got you here, I need a refresher. What was the name of that guy everyone hated in Star Wars?

Me:....there's a few of those.

Doug: Naw, this one, everyone hated!

Me: Doesn't narrow it down. What did he look like?

Doug: He was on 'The Clone Wars'. He was a Jedi like that robot with all the arms that coughed all the time.

Me: General Grevious? Not a Jedi.

Doug: Okay, but this guy, what was his name? He was a giant frog with a lot of arms with a ball sack hanging from his face. He got fragged by his men after being a dick.

Me: Pong Krell?!

Doug: Yeah! That's it! Pong Krell!

Me: Can we just call him 'Frog with Ball Sack On Face'?

(unsee it. You can't.)

Doug: Works for me kid! Can I borrow that rake?

Doug's a national treasure. He made me smile after a very sad day.

[nova-ayashi]

Ballchinian

Source Posted to Tumblr via Python, written by @daemon_nova

[suledins]

this frame.... what nightmares are made of

[runningwithhelicopters]

Or a Chinballian, it depends on your perspective.

[teabree-shark]

The species name "ballchinian" is way too good to be relegated to an underperforming Men in Black sequel

[airandangels]

In the Valerie Harper episode of The Muppet Show, Statler (the ballchinian one with no moustache) barges in backstage wanting to present a gift to the guest star, a rare African berry bush. An exchange ensues with Kermit:

Kermit: I suggest that you bury your berry bush and bug outta here, buster. (to the audience) That's nice alliteration, huh?

Statler: Hey, I'll have you know I've dated and wined and dined some of the finest performers on the legitimate stage. Hayes, Langtry, Barrymore!

Kermit: Wait a minute, you dated Ethel Barrymore?

Statler: No, Lionel. Ethel was busy that night. To tell you the truth, we didn't dance much either.

thank you for being a flagrantly bisexual grumpy old man way back in January 1977 Statler

[randomencounters]

Encounter: a, I kid you not, “Ballchinian”

[tgbalistreri]

#meninblack2 #meninblack #willsmith #willsmithquotes #ballchinian #scifi #scifimovies #aliens #aliensarereal #movies #action #actionmovies #moviescene #moviescenes #moviequotes #moviequote #moviereviews #moviereview #movieblog #filmblog

[sweenx666]

IG makes you think your having #Fun 🙃 #NozawaOnesen #NozawaOnsenNowIsOn #Yesterday 🤙🏼 #Ballchinian 🍑 (at Nozawa Onsen)

[adamwatchesmovies]

Men in Black II (2002)

Men in Black II might have aspects which technically elevate it above a 0-star rating but it makes you feel so lousy and tries so little to do anything worth your time it earns itself the lowest rating a movie can get. It’s lousy in obvious ways and in surprising ways. You watch in disbelief.

After waitress Laura Vasquez (Rosario Dawson) witnesses the shapeshifting plant-like alien Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle) interrogate and then murder her boss, Agent J (Will Smith, whose usual charisma is absent)  must re-recruit his old partner, K (Tommy Lee Jones) to find the “Light of Zartha" before it falls into the wrong hands.

I don’t know if the writers were so incompetent they couldn’t find something for Linda Fiorentino’s Agent L to do, or the actress read the worthless script and jumped ship. Either way, her absence is the first sign of trouble. You know a sequel has no idea what it's doing when its first move is to undo the ending of its predecessor. It’s all downhill from there. The special effects, for example, are not convincing. The makeup and puppets used are fine but anything CG is sub-par. The worst offender is probably the two-headed alien played Johnny Noxville. Maybe the editor realized how bad it looks, which is why his character just DISAPPEARS halfway through.

There's a scene which encapsulates the entire feel of “MIB II”. I could pick the bit where J and K get flushed down a giant toilet - it's that kind of comedy. Instead, we’re talking about the battle J and K have with a bunch of goofy-looking aliens. One literally looks like living dog poop. In fact, that’s what he’s credited as! After he’s dispatched, K attacks his next foe by kicking him in the testes except - and here comes the joke - the extraterrestrial is a ballchinian! That means his scrotum… is on his chin, not between his legs! Are you laughing yet? What if I told you he’s taken down by a Matrix-like kick, one of many?

It’s awful. Then, we get to the climax. There are at least three endings in a row and none are exciting. The idea was for everything to move so fast you wouldn't notice the obvious voice-over dubs and hastily reshot scenes. You’d think with all the crowbarred product placement throughout they could’ve scraped enough money to give us a proper conclusion, but no.

The only way to be entertained by Men in Black II is to look closely at every plot point that goes nowhere and piece together what this movie might’ve been. Not that there was any hope for it, ever. You’re better off pretending “Men in Black II” never happened. There’s a joke about a neuralyzer in there but I don’t have the energy to write about this sequel anymore. (On DVD, June 16, 2019)

[neesieiumz]

Ballchinian ass nigga

[skunkbutts]

BALLCHINIAN

New nickname we have been calling him is “Wrinkles”