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#banging head on the table
rapidhighway · 1 year
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I didn’t go to sculpture again……
#please please please I have anxiety I have a mental illness#I can’t make myself go there it’s hell idk why I’m just so nervous every time I make myself feel sick#and then I get another excuse not to go becuase I literally feel like I’m gonna throw up#I’m not going to pass if I don’t start going there…….#and I cannot handle repeating a semester#I live in fear#and it doesn’t help that I have intermedia class later today which is my second greatest enemy and just as dreadful#banging head on the table#I need to be wrapped in a blanket and go to sleep forever#god even if I go there I’m never going to be able to come up to my prof and talk to him about my project I get physically I’ll at the#slightest suggestion from my friends that I should finally do it#everyone’s done it already#I will literally cry if anyone talks to me#the profs just intimidate me so badly I feel like they hate me#and everyone says they’re super nice but I can’t make myself believe ittttt they will eat me alive#but if I never go I won’t pass the class and repeating the semester will cost money#pleas I have the stupid project idea ready but I just can’t do it I’ve thought about just emailing them and doing it all through email but#I couldn’t do that either I’m just in panic mode instantly#so yeah I’m just venting not asking ppl for solutions 😶✌️ I just don’t want to text my friend again bc I’ve been putting way too much on#them#they do practically everything for me anyway bc I can’t do shit by myself#uh ok I just need to put this SOMEWHERE#I’m gonna curl up and draw metal or whatever#ugh I know I’m making things worse by not coming#but I can’t make myself I just cant I’m gonna have an anxiety attack ✌️#no one look at me#I being sensitive and vulnerable here
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wkxs · 1 year
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I'm so normal about him
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paesthethyc · 16 days
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smirking chilchuck + cab's and lee's chils because im not normal apparently
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vict0riano · 10 months
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leliana talking about zevran in dai will never NOT get me every time
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drowsyscatterbrain · 2 years
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loading screen kinda stuff. yea.
gotta make smth before i combust from hyper-focusing on them too hard-
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bucket-of-amethyst · 2 years
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not me crying in the crib
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naonap · 7 months
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fem pm dazai doodles for MY SOUL
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lunamothghost · 1 year
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Don't worry, you and me won't be alone no more
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gomzdrawfr · 3 months
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"hey I need a favor rq"
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this is based off this:
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jays-bookmarks · 10 months
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There was only one bed, but... (Dan Heng x gn!reader)
It's basically this picture. You're both nerds who don't know how to flirt and continually dance around your feelings.
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Summary: March tries her best to set you up with the man you've been pining after since you first joined the Express, but her best-laid plans are foiled because both you and Dan Heng are socially incompetent. Words: 2.5k Warnings: secondhand embarrassment, awkward pining, reader is "short" (tiptoes to reach the top shelf lol), reader has some skimpy nightclothes
It had been a long day for you, March, and Dan Heng. After what happened during your mission, all you wanted was to flop down on a bed and sleep. As your group made its way to the inn, a very sheepish receptionist came to greet you. He apologized and explained that there were only two rooms left available.
“Oh, that's okay,” you said, glancing over at your teammates with a shrug. “I can share with March.”
March, however, quickly declined.
“No, uh—you should go with Dan Heng!” she said.
Your eyes widened at her words. “What? Why?”
You couldn’t hide the small blush on your face as you glanced over at Dan Heng. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice your nervousness, having been equally surprised by March’s sudden proposition. He tilted his head, waiting for March to explain.
“Well…” March looked a little nervous under Dan Heng’s scrutiny. She gave you a meaningful look. “Since you’re so new to this, wouldn't it be safest to stay with Dan Heng? Don’t forget he’s the guard of the Astral Express! Besides, I, uh… snore pretty loud!”
She ended her sentence with an awkward giggle. You narrowed your eyes at her. You knew March was only taking this opportunity to set you up with Dan Heng, but you tried to play it cool and let him have the final say. There was no way he'd agree… right?
“...I suppose that makes sense,” Dan Heng said, turning to you. “Are you alright with that?”
“Huh? Uh—yeah!” You froze up under his gaze, then quickly glanced away. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your face was so hot that you were sure Dan Heng didn’t miss your blush this time. You weren’t expecting him to agree so easily… but then again, why would he refuse? Despite the shiftiness of her delivery, March did make a sound argument. And Dan Heng clearly didn’t have any feelings he needed to keep hidden…
From the corner of your eye, you saw March pumping her first in victory before quickly hiding her hands behind her back. She bit her lip to suppress a grin. You shot her a glare, but she only giggled in response before ushering you all down the hall.
Once you saw the room you were staying in, your heart dropped. Of course, there was only one bed.
Dan Heng seemed completely unfazed, immediately moving to set his stuff down on the floor.
“You can have the bed,” he said, glancing back to where you stood frozen in the doorway. His gaze lingered on you for a moment. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but then he turned away and began taking off his coat.
You tentatively stepped into the room.
“A-are you sure? I… think there's enough room on the bed for both of us…” you said, but you could already feel yourself combusting at the thought of sharing a bed with Dan Heng. Sure, the bed was technically big enough for two people, but just barely. Trying to share this bed would definitely result in you two being squished uncomfortably close together.
You glanced over at Dan Heng, who shook his head and set his coat on the floor as a makeshift bedroll.
“I’ll be more comfortable on the floor," he said. Then, after a pause, he added in a quieter voice. "It would be best to keep a distance…"
Your face fell at his subtle rejection. Or, maybe you were just reading too much into it. He was probably just used to sleeping on the floor like he did in the archives. Or maybe he saw your awkwardness around him as you being uncomfortable with his presence. Or perhaps he just meant it would be easier for him to jump into action if the two of you weren’t tangled up together in bed. Oh gods, why did you word it like that? You shook the thought from your head and took a deep breath.
“Right, well… do you want an extra pillow or anything? A blanket?” You gestured to the bed.
Dan Heng shook his head again. “Don’t worry about me,” he said.
You sighed and turned to the closet anyway to look for an extra blanket. You had to stand on your toes to take it from the top shelf, but you managed without having to grab a stool. With that small victory spurring you on, you held the blanket out to him. But Dan Heng shook his head once more.
“You should take it,” he said. “It’ll be cold tonight.”
“And what are you gonna do? Just freeze?” you retorted.
He chuckled. “I’m used to sleeping in all sorts of conditions. I’ll be fine.”
He seemed adamant about letting you take the extra blanket. Unfortunately for Dan Heng, you also knew how to be stubborn. You frowned, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Come on… Just take it,” you said.
Dan Heng didn’t budge. You huffed, pouting a little.
“Please?”
He simply raised an eyebrow in response. You pursed your lips, trying to find another angle.
“Okay… how about this? If I get too cold tonight I’ll come and steal it from you. Deal?”
After a pause, he sighed and took the blanket. You grinned as you watched him lay the blanket down next to him. Grabbing your bag, you went to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.
By the time you returned, Dan Heng was settled on the floor. He had Cloud-Piercer in his lap and was polishing the tip of the spear. You gestured to the bathroom as you passed.
“It’s all yours,” you said.
He looked up and you noticed his gaze briefly flick over your body. You blushed as you realized how little your sleepwear actually covered. Dan Heng quickly looked away, placing Cloud-Piercer against the wall as he stood.
“Thank you,” he said. He paused when you didn’t move from where you stood. “…You don’t have to wait for me. Rest.”
“Right… um, goodnight!”
“Goodnight.”
Despite the way your heart still hammered in your chest, you fell asleep surprisingly quickly. But not long after, you awoke to the sound of movement from the floor beside your bed.
As you blinked the sleep from your eyes, you heard Dan Heng mumbling something in his sleep. Concerned, you leaned over the bed to check on him. His brows were furrowed, and he was covered in a cold sweat while he tossed and turned. Was he having a nightmare? You stared at him for a moment longer, pondering whether you should try to wake him up. He was always such a private person… would he appreciate you butting into his personal life like this?
Still, you thought it would be best not to leave him to suffer. Sliding out from under the covers, you crouched down next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. You called his name, trying to gently wake him up.
“Dan Heng…”
In a flash, you were pinned to the floor, your wrist held at a painful angle behind your back while Dan Heng’s other hand gripped the back of your neck. You sucked in a breath, too shocked to even say anything. A beat passed.
You heard Dan Heng quietly say your name in a surprised voice. He seemed to realize what had happened and quickly released you. His hands hovered uncertainly around you as you pushed yourself back into a sitting position with a groan.
“A-are you alright?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I thought—”
“I know,” you said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry for waking you up. I was just—”
You shrugged and rubbed at your wrist to ease the pain. A look of guilt flashed over Dan Heng’s face.
“Anyway,” you continued. “I should be asking you that. Are you okay? Were… you having a nightmare?"
Dan Heng opened his mouth to reply, before closing it again. He seemed hesitant to say anything. You could tell he was still shaken up by his nightmare, whatever it was. Eventually, he let out a sigh.
“...No. It’s fine. Forget it happened,” he said.
You paused for a moment, biting your lip. If he didn’t want to talk, then you couldn’t exactly force him to open up. You nodded.
“As long as you're feeling okay…” You began to stand, but paused halfway to look back at him. “Um, but if you want to stay up and chat about other stuff… just as a distraction… I wouldn't mind.”
Though you were making the offer for him, part of you secretly wanted this late-night conversation. It was a way to get to know him better. As a friend, of course. You looked at Dan Heng, hoping he would accept.
“...I suppose I wouldn't mind a distraction at the moment.”
You let out a small sigh of relief. Flashing a smile, you returned to sit down beside him on the floor. After a brief pause, you realized that Dan Heng had expected you to start the conversation.
"Um. Okay, well…" you floundered for something to say. You were never good at holding a conversation, and the fact that Dan Heng was sitting so close to you wasn’t helping you in the slightest. You tried to tell yourself not to think about it—he had already rejected you, anyway, you could take a hint—but your body was reacting on its own. You hoped that he didn’t notice the flush on your cheeks in the dark room.
Dan Heng remained silent for a while longer, waiting for you to finish your thought, but when it became clear you had nothing to say, he let out a quiet chuckle.
“It seems we’re both quite bad at conversation, aren’t we?” he said.
You laughed as well, feeling a bit of the tension between you dissipating.
"Yeah… I guess I should've thought of that when I offered…"
The two of you fell into silence once more. Since you were so preoccupied with searching for a topic of conversation, you were unaware of how Dan Heng was struggling not to stare at you in your sleepwear. The chill in the room seeped into your exposed skin, and you shivered slightly, bringing your knees up to your chest.
“Here.”
Before you could react, Dan Heng had leaned over you. You froze, your mind going completely blank as you felt his breath fanning over your cheek. His arms trapped you on both sides and you tried not to move lest you accidentally touched him. Your eyes flicked down to his lips…
But then Dan Heng pulled back, and you felt something being draped over your shoulders. He had grabbed the spare blanket from behind you and was now wrapping it around you. His hands, no longer covered by his gloves, grazed your bare skin as he did so, leaving a pleasant tingling in their wake. When you finally managed to snap out of your shock, you reached up to secure the blanket with your own hands, and Dan Heng retreated into his space once again.
You thanked him quietly, hoping your voice didn’t shake too much. He nodded in response before glancing away with a cough. If you weren’t panicking so hard over what had just happened, you would’ve laughed and called him cute.
But you were panicking, and right now teasing him was the last thing on your mind. You tried desperately to think of something, anything, to change the topic and move away from this tension between you two.
You blurted out the first thought that came to your mind.
“Uh... what's your favorite animal?”
You blushed immediately after the words left your mouth.
“Um. Sorry, that was kind of a stupid question…” you said. “I'm... not very good at... talking."
Dan Heng chuckled. You let out a relieved laugh as well, glad that you hadn’t made things more awkward, at least.
“The white tiger,” he said. “They’re quite striking, and very elusive... To the people of the Xianzhou, it is known as the Guardian of the West, representing the season of autumn.”
You nodded as he spoke, trying to indicate that you were paying attention to his words and not the way his lips were currently curled into a smile. He turned his gaze to you and you quickly looked away.
“What about you?” he asked.
You blinked, pleasantly surprised that he was willing to continue the conversation. Glancing up at the ceiling with a hum, you thought about your answer.
"I like dragons,” you said. “Oh, actually—aren’t the Vidyadhara, like, dragon people? Can they turn into dragons?”
“Only some could turn into dragons. The power was a rare inheritance, passed down only to those who could successfully complete numerous rites and challenges.”
“Oh? Like what?”
Dan Heng began to explain. You nodded along, your fatigue beginning to catch up to you as you listened to his soothing voice. After a moment, you yawned and leaned against him with a sigh. Your tired brain had pushed the memory of your awkwardness from just moments ago to the back of your mind. You didn't notice the way Dan Heng stiffened at your touch, nor the way his breath hitched as he stopped mid-sentence.
A moment of silence passed, then your eyes flew open as you realized what you had just done. You quickly withdrew, stammering apologies.
"I'm so sorry! I don’t know what— I'm sorry!" Your face was flushed and you couldn’t meet Dan Heng’s gaze.
"No… it's fine.” Dan Heng’s voice was quiet and seemed to waver slightly. He took a breath before clearing his throat. "Don't worry about it…"
You took a breath as well, willing your heart to calm down. "Right, um..."
You glanced down at the floor as you fidgeted with your hands. That tension was back again. You were acutely aware of how close you came to touching each other every time one of you shifted on the bedroll. The silence stretched on as you once again wracked your brain for something to say.
“It’s getting a bit late…” you finally said. “Should we go to bed?”
You weren’t trying to drop any hints, per se, but you didn’t think your heart could handle any more accidents tonight.
“Yes... let’s try to be well-rested for tomorrow,” Dan Heng said.
He stood and offered you his hand. You paused, a little surprised, before you flashed a nervous smile and took it. You couldn't help but stare at the way his muscles flexed in his arm… You quickly shook the thoughts out of your mind and handed the spare blanket back to Dan Heng. You sat down on the bed, leaving him to settle back on the floor.
“Goodnight, Dan Heng,” you said. “And... thanks for chatting with me.”
“Goodnight. And—” Dan Heng paused for a moment, seemingly debating something in his mind. After a moment, he continued with a faint smile. “It was... nice to talk to you as well.”
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p4nishers · 4 months
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Odd thing, ain't it...you meet people one at a time, they seem decent, they got brains that work, and then they get together and you hear the voice of people. and it snarls.
jingo, terry pratchett
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ohitslen · 1 year
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Pretty boy beard agenda
Idk what this is supposed to be but have this low effort and quality thing
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landoffreaksandfrogs · 9 months
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take it back. i changed my mind.
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legendling · 2 months
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my partner got me into object shows in the year of our lord 2024
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hello osc community can we be frien d s,.
(its from s2, but just in case spoilers under the cut)
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full lineup bc i unintentionally drew them in ranibow order
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bucket-of-amethyst · 1 year
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hihi hello tango new skin uuhhhh 😳😳😳😳
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psykoe100 · 1 year
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30 Day Ekurei Challenge - Day 9: Yoshioka (Security Guard) First Meeting
rip reigen lol
Bonus:
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