#basically being controlled by an entertainment company who wanted you to be the perfect idol.

[exidol]

*pulls out own personal mic* lets' talk about how warren wasn't allowed contact wtih his family for months on end because of his entertainment company's strict schedule and rules. okay , that's all.

[be-events]

once again, all trainees from lime entertainment, sr media, and studio delta are gathered in the auditorium at the seoul arts center. the dust has settled since wrapping up the last of the private feedback methods when it comes to evaluations—some with a lot to say and others of few words—all coaches remained completely silent immediately following the completion of each performance. if anyone questioned it, they simply explained that they’d need to discuss privately before giving their final feedback.

judgment day has come and all trainees anxiously await just what their coaches are going to say as they take the stage again, notes in hand.

“first of all, i want to congratulate all trainees on a job well done. everyone completed the assignment without any injury or major catastrophe,” lee haesun from sr media speaks first, smiling into her microphone as she surveys the crowd as if to make eye contact with each and every one of the trainees in front of her. “while we do have notes, we’re pleased with what we’re seeing from our trainees overall. great job, everyone,”

lime entertainment’s kim chanhee clears his throat before taking his turn to speak. “all that said, no one had a perfect performance. you were all given complete control over this evaluation; no requirements or limitations to try to work within. while many of your played to your strengths, you may have highlighted your weaknesses by mistake in doing so.”

“as a team, we’ve decided what aspect of your performance needed the most immediate improvement,” yoo youngmin, the studio delta representative coach, takes over the conversation. “and rather than just present you with the problems, we’re also assigning tasks to fix them. for the next month, some of your free training periods will be dedicated to various lessons or activities that will help improve your overall performance as a future idol.”

youngmin, haesun, and chanhee all straighten out the papers in front of them, referencing their notes one more time, before they start to call trainees one by one, telling them what their performance lacked and how they plan to fix it.

“KIM DANNY,” chanhee calls his company’s trainee by name, “we all noted that using a prop in your performance was an interesting choice to provide a little more interest to the performance. however, we felt that you didn’t utilize it in the most creative or engaging ways. we didn’t feel the purpose of the fan, just an acknowledgement that you had one in your hand. for that reason, we’ve enrolled you in improv acting classes for the next month. our hope is that you’ll start looking at performance props in more creative ways after these lessons.”

chanhee glances at his list before calling the next trainee. “LEE CHAERIN, we all felt that your performance felt a bit… dated. while it’s nice to call back to the classics and acknowledge the seniors who helped create this industry, it’s also important to be up to date on the current trends and competition. you’ll be working with coaches in a sort of kpop boot camp, studying the current trending groups and the most popular songs of the last year. if you want to succeed in this industry, being educated on it is a must.”

haesun takes over for the sr media trainees, calling out one name after the next. “SHIN EUNAE, we’ve seen great improvement in your dance abilities since you joined the company. however, we’re still concerned about your flexibility and strength. to help encourage you beyond what’s covered in our basic dance lessons, you’ll be attending flying yoga classes for the next month. while i hope you do have some fun with it, it’s an activity that’s very demanding of your core strength and flexibility.”

“SHIN YUJI,” haesun calls the next name on her list, “your performance was nearly a perfect replica of yuna’s original, which would be amazing, except we don’t want you to be a copy machine who just spits out the same thing as her seniors. we felt that your performance lacked personal identity, so in order to help you better connect with yourself and your own creativity, we’ve arranged for guided mediation sessions and ask for you to follow self-discovery journal prompts this month.”

the next trainee on her list is called out, “SONG CHAEYEON, while we appreciate your willingness to step outside of your comfort zone and try a new concept, we couldn’t help but notice… it really doesn’t suit you. while we don’t mean to assume anything about your personal life, we suspect that you’re not very experienced in matters of romance and sensuality. our solution to this one is a bit unorthodox. for the next month, we’re asking you to watch and read romance dramas, movies, and novels and take notes on the emotions of the story. sometime this month, a coach will accompany you to a host cafe to practice going on a ‘date’ with a host there. it’s a safe way to give you the experience we feel you lack.”

finally, youngmin takes over for the studio delta trainees. “HAN SAEM,” he calls out, “while you’re a very graceful dancer, grace isn’t often what’s needed in male choreographies. we want to see more power out of your performance. to help build this strength, we’re enrolling you in boxing classes for the month. we have a private trainer who will assist you in strengthening your body and hopefully teaching you to use it in a more powerful manner as well.”

the trainees are all instructed to work hard at their assigned tasks and lessons, though not to neglect their regular classes as well before they are dismissed and returned to their home companies. 

at the end of the month, each trainee will meet with a coach who worked closely with them during their assignments and have a one-on-one review. the trainees will be asked what they learned, how helpful they felt the task was, and how they plan to apply the skills learned to their training going forward.

OOC:

this event is for trainees only and will run until april 12 at 11:59pm. any threads or solos posted after the deadline will not count toward points. please send in your points submission before this deadline.

please use the hashtag #BE:SOLOEVAL for all posts relating to this event.

FOR +2 TRAINEE POINTS please write a 4-post thread with another trainee relating to performing the unique assigned tasks. this could be discussing their task, sharing what they’ve learned, complaining, expressing jealousy, remarking that they see a difference in another trainee, etc. NOTE: THIS CAN BE REDEEMED TWICE (two separate 4-post threads with different muses and/or ).

FOR +5 RELEVANT SKILL(S) POINTS please write a 300+ word solo about your muse's experience with their task (attending the special lessons/classes, what they learned, etc.).

when you’ve completed all options that you’d like to participate in, please send the following form to our points submission blog:

SUBMISSION TITLE: MUSE NAME - COMPANY - SOLO EVAL PART 2

preparation 1: +2 points to distribute to any trainee skills [ link to thread ]

preparation 2: +2 points to distribute to any trainee skills [ link to thread ]

performance: +5 relevant skill points (singing, dancing, rapping) [ link to solo ]

[lideria]

Open Book. | Johnny

Request: Hi! 😊 Can I ask for a Johnny imagine wherein he finally had time for a solo vacation in some other country after his very busy idol schedules. Then he meets this girl who stays in the same hotel and also in her own vacation. Btw, I love your fluffy stories ❤

Author’s Note: I kind of really don’t like this, I kind of think it’s cringey but I worked on it so much that I want to publish its first version heheh I hope you it lives up to your expectations! Plus, I hope you get to learn this amazing country a little, because traveling there has been at the top of my bucket list since I first learned about it when I represented it at an MUN conference back in high school lol

Warnings: Some swear words, mentions of drinking/intoxication, suggestive towards the end, kind of dialogue heavy, representations might not be at their best so please let me know if there are any problems. English is my second language so there might be errors, and that must be it. Please let me know if there is more!

Word Count: 4.262 kinda long

Genre: Fluff all around, Angst if you squint like you have really bad eyesight, traveler!reader, fem!reader (I have all of my fics besides this gender neutral, but I thought since it was requested specifically I’d make this fem!reader)

Hope you all enjoy and hope this is not as cringey as it is to me!! Stay safe and healthy, take good care of yourselves for me 💚Have a happy morning/day/afternoon/evening/night!

Going on vacation alone after many years of constant company is weird for Johnny.

It starts off normal. He goes to the airport accompanied with some managers, with a private car. His disguise is more secretive than ever— no special airport outfit, no make up, face mostly covered with glasses, a mask and a hat to make sure no photographers or fans spot him throughout the procedure. The only suspicious thing is that he gets special treatment with VIP access to avoid waiting in the lines and get over with everything quickly, but to his luck, nobody seems to suspect anything.

The weirdness of everything starts then. Managers leave when he passes passport control and gets into the duty free area. For the first time in years, he is completely alone. It is somewhat overwhelming.

But Johnny manages to keep his calm and go to his gate for the first of his flights. He gets to his business class seat, not bothering to take off his mask or glasses yet, and tries the in-flight entertainment system. Though, he has already memorized everything that it has to offer, so he opts for listening to music and editing a few experimental shots and videos he has taken instead before going to sleep.

When the flight is over and he checks his phone for the first time, he finds the group chat filled with encouraging messages and good wishes, which he finds is exactly what he needs.

It is early in the morning when he lands in Paris, and he has a couple hours to spare before his second long haul flight to Pointe-à-Pitre. So he treats himself to a breakfast before rushing to his gate. This flight of almost nine hours of flying does not seem to end since he has grabbed quite a bit of sleep on his first one. He does everything to keep himself occupied, walking up and down the plane’s aisles to make up for the lack of activity that his legs were getting. Somehow that flight also ends without much hassle. It ultimately ends up being the one that messes up his sense of time, since his body thinks it is 3 pm whereas the time in Pointe-à-Pitre is in fact 9 am when they land.

Within a matter of an hour is his flight to Bridgetown, and after his two long haul flights, this short flight of just over an hour is basically nothing. It comes and goes with a blink of his (very tired) eyes.

In all honesty, it awes Johnny that his luggage does not get lost during this almost a day long— 21 and a half hours, to be exact— travel, and he wants to thank every airline and airport worker ever for doing a phenomenal job.

But he cannot, because shortly after landing he has to take a boat ride to his final destination.

The lands are beautiful, the ocean more so, with their blinding greens and blues. His mask and glasses he had gotten rid of on his flight from Paris, but the glasses quickly make a come back, along with his hat under the morning sun. The guide that is designated for him and the group of people he takes the boat ride with takes them to their hotel, and after checking in and being guided to his little villa, Johnny is able to stand in an open space with a private bed and bathroom.

But it is all worth it. Because as he looks out of the windows that cover the side of the villa that looks out to the ocean, he can see the beautiful bay and the islands and the beauty of nature, with its bright colors and white noise that is the screeching of bugs.

Why travel so much? Well, if he had gone to a known, tourist-dense place, he probably would not get what he wanted to get— which is to relax. Truly let go of everything for a while. Disappear, even, with people not knowing him, ultimately resulting in him forgetting his usual life as well. He wants to be a bit invisible for once.

And St. Vincent and the Grenadines was the perfect place for that. He had been interested in this place for years after first seeing a random video that popped up on his YouTube recommended. Locals were known to be angels of hospitality, everyone seemed to be happy, views were amazing, yet it somehow attracted less tourists than the surrounding countries.

With a good ten days to spare here, the first thing he knows he will do is take a nap. For at least a good couple of hours. So he takes off his t-shirt that smells of all kinds of airports and plane seats, puts his glasses and hat somewhere, and does just that. Luggage still packed and all.

Only after waking back up does he even bother with unpacking his luggage, and to be honest, it is only because he wants to take his trunks out and head to the beach. He looks.. disheveled at best, or so he decides when he is putting some sunscreen on very carefully as it is just past the afternoon and he has a good chance of getting a burn otherwise. Johnny’s face is puffy, both from traveling and sleeping, and his nose is acting up a little— blocked because of all the air and pressure change. But is it enough to stop him from exploring around? No. Not really.

The bay is not crowded when he walks down save for a few groups of people and a couple others that are alone. It smells like sea salt and overall freshness, with small waves hitting the shore and a few yachts in the distance. The sand is almost white under his feet and the water is a beautiful turquoise.

What is truly different to him, though, is the fact that the beach seems to be silent. Sure, some people a few years younger than him were playing with a beach ball in the water and provided some noise, but not too much. It was almost too peaceful as he swam a few laps in the water.

That is not to say it does not feel magical and amazing, though, because it does.

He takes his time swimming around, looking down to see any formations or life in the clear water before coming out. In the heat that is much more manageable than back in Seoul, he walks back to his place, takes a shower, and dresses back up to go outside.

The resort is stupidly big. There are many facilities, pools, sports grounds, restaurants, entertainment areas and access to different bays that he feels overwhelmed by the time his stomach starts crying out for dinner— and even by then, he is not done with exploring the whole place.

It is only when he takes a brochure from a random information point and looks at it that he realizes this whole island belongs to this resort, because it is privately owned.

Looking at the map for directions, he goes to the nearest restaurant. It is fairly small, more like a pub than a restaurant, so he sits at the bar. The waiter hands him a menu with a smile on his face, and Johnny does not hesitate to smile back before thanking him.

There are so many options on the menu. Some local food, some not, some snacks, some appetizers, some main, some desserts, but basically too many. Especially since they all sound good to his stomach that craves something other than plane food.

“You seem lost, want help?” Somebody leans on the bar as they speak to him, and he picks his head up to look at them. A girl. A very pretty girl with a warm smile on her face. “Actually, yeah. I’d appreciate some help.”

Without even glancing at the menu, you respond. “Roasted breadfruit and fried jackfish tends to be good anywhere. It’s the national dish, can’t really go wrong with that.”

Your confidence beams like a shining star, so Johnny finds himself trusting you. He orders his meal with, again, a smile on his face, and gets flustered when the waiter compliments his outfit choice genuinely. So far, the locals really did seem very happy and positive, because the guide was also the same. Always smiling. And Johnny really appreciates that.

You, who is now sitting on the stool next to him order some roasted breadfruit yourself, before coming eye to eye with Johnny and chuckling a bit awkwardly. “Is it okay if I sit here?”

It kind of makes him feel bad that you felt the need to even ask him that, so he relaxes himself in an attempt to hopefully not look too intimidating anymore, and nods. “You don’t have to ask. Sorry, it’s just been a long travel day.”

Your smile grows wider. “Oh I know that feeling all too well. You look nothing like me when I’m just done traveling, though. I wish I could look like that.”

Something about the sentence makes Johnny smile to himself, and you seem to notice that, because you clear your throat. “I mean,” You let out before clearing your throat one more time because your voice is not quite like how it was. “I’m a full time traveler. I just wish it’d get easier by now.”

“You’re a full time traveler?” Johnny asks. He can smell the food being cooked now, and it smells absolutely delicious. Enthusiastically, you nod. “How come?” Because you look maybe his age, maybe a few years older or younger, whatever it is— you look around the same age. Full time traveling would have sounded like a good stretch (anyone your age) if it was not for the confidence you were radiating.

“I have a goal of traveling to 120 countries. Made it my job, I work for several magazines and networks writing about my experiences. Plus filming a documentary— but all by myself so it’s not like I’m getting payed for that or anything.” All of that sounds so incredibly cool to him, he cannot help but feel his eyes widen. “Everything I do is so that I can pay off the traveling expenses.”

“That sounds amazing,” Johnny says with a smile on his face, awed at the fact that you get to do this for a living, at least for now. The waiter comes back with their food, and the two of you thank him before digging into your servings. It is either because Johnny is really hungry, or because the dish tastes so good, or both, but it is delicious. Breadfruit is something he had not tried before but he finds himself loving it.

He kind of groans, which is embarrassing. “This is amazing.” It prompts a giggle out of his companion, and he too huffs at his own remark. “So, how many countries have you been to?”

Biting a breadfruit piece, you answer. “Ninety three,” You say it as if it is nothing. “So I’m starting to slow down a little. I’ve been here before, but I wanted to take a bit off my savings and have a vacation. Pamper myself, I guess.”

“Excuse me, ninety three?” Johnny asks in awe, grabbing a bite of his salty fish. You looked around the same age as him. “How long have you been doing this for?”

Your eyes roll upward, recollecting memories and counting the time. “Three years? More or less.”

“You’re crazy.” He chuckles lightly, to which you join. “I am.”

He continues to talk with you, asking you questions about how and why. It takes some time for him to actually ask you your name, but he does— luckily you are not insulted or suspicious by the fact that it takes him at least a good hour of conversing before he can ask you. In fact, you have a positive energy with the way you speak and act throughout the time the two of you spend which could only hopefully mean good. Because Johnny finds you really interesting, the initial physical attraction put aside. You sound like an open book that he would love to read.

Luckily, you give him a chance. Before you have to leave to catch up with your work, you suggest him something. “Are you by yourself?” Johnny nods at your question as he finishes up his meal. “No tours or anything?” Contradictory to his last answer, he shakes his head. When he looks at you, you smile to him, trying to ease the words. “During the day I’m usually island-hopping. I could show you around, if you’d like.”

The suggestion makes him feel all happy-go-lucky inside, and he can feel it reflecting by the way he smiles. “Do you suggest this to everyone?”

You do not answer. But the way your cheeks get slightly pink as you turn away from him with a chuckle is all the answer he needs.

The next morning you call his phone— the one in his little villa, that he had given its number of before you two parted your ways. It was too early in the morning, and your voice was not beaming the way it did the day before, but you still sounded more enthusiastic than he ever could. “Do you like hiking?”

Johnny kind of whines a little before he can catch onto what he is doing and stop himself. He really wants to relax, but he had the unfortunate chance of fortunately meeting you. “Is hiking literally the first thing we’re doing?”

“I was gonna do this before I met you too, so,” You yawn. “Plus, it’s not like we’ll hike in some forest. I’ll take you to an active volcano.”

It sounds too cool for him to not agree.

First you two meet up at the restaurant you had met in, having some light breakfast and coffee before you leave the resort. You take him to the port, saying you will have to take a ride to another island— Saint Vincent to start your hike. You inform him that the peak is at a whopping 1,234 meters which sounds really fun considering the way up will all be on foot not to mention the rocky trail, but in return, you promise him a beautiful view and countless photo-ops. Plus the ability to say I’ve hiked all the way up to the crater of an active volcano.

The boat ride is short and before he knows the two of you are already on the trail between groups of tourists. The weather is only just starting to get hotter when you start hiking, but he knows it will not be much of a problem anyway with the height you are hiking up today.

“So,” You start speaking after a while of silence as you walk beside him. “You interviewed me enough yesterday. It’s only fair if I get to interview you.”

“Go ahead.” He says in a heartbeat, looking down at the bay the two of you were coming from. It was a good drop down, but considering how long it had been since you both started hiking, he would guess you are not even a quarter way done. “Who even is Johnny? What does he like to do? What does he not like? What is the one thing he can't back out of?”

He laughs at the curiosity that is in your voice, and at the questions before he starts answering. “Optimistically I’m a giant with way too big of a coffee and Coldplay addiction and love for photography, pessimistically I’m one tired guy that is long overdue a vacation, and realistically I’m just Johnny.”

Johnny sees you scrunch your lips and nodding. “That sounds pretty legit.”

That makes him laugh, and you do not hesitate to join him.

You two hike your way up to the volcano, and honestly speaking, it is maybe one of the coolest things he has done before. And you were right— there really are lots of beautiful sceneries with a three sixty view of the island, yachts in the water, the clouds, the colorful native flora and fauna, the crater of the active volcano for goodness’ sake, and the occasional wildlife that got close enough.

The hike takes around 6 hours. It is the evening by the time you get back to your resort and have dinner, and you only converse during dinner before calling it a night.

Next day you take him to Saint Vincent once again, this time to walk around the Botanic Garden. You tell him it is one of the oldest in the world, and that he can take photo-card-worthy shots, even film something if he wants to. He lets you show the way around ferns, palms, agave trees, cinnamon and breadfruit trees as parrots chirp and fly around. He learns that they are the national animal when a staff member spots him trying to take a photo of the birds and tells him, pointing at one colored blue, green and yellow before patting the flag on his work uniform. The middle-aged-almost-old guy laughs when realization dawns on Johnny and his mouth parts, with your sweet giggle in the background.

Johnny would not mind looking dumb if it gets you giggling that way again.

On the fifth day of his trip that rolls around way too fast, you to go to the market place on the main island. Not necessarily buying anything as most things sold are local produce, just looking for souvenirs of any kind, but all he ends up with is a magnet for each member and some baked goods because it is not strictly tourist season yet.

You take him to a restaurant that you know the owners of— which is kind of mind blowing to him how you can remember specific people after traveling to ninety three countries— and order a bunch of drinks with roasted breadfruit. You tell the family that owns the place that he is a friend of yours, a friend of yours who is visiting for the first time and has come from far away. And he hears the words Seoul, South Korea.

He cannot bring himself to listen to much after that.

Even when the older sister of the bartender that is serving you both tells him that the rums are quite dense in alcohol, and that one of the beers might taste a bit different to him since it is made of tree barks and spices, he does not care too much.

There are lots of shots placed in front of you, and you call for him to clink his glass with yours in cheers before he tries. He does what you say, but stops before any of you can drink. “How do you know where I came from?”

Johnny hears you chuckle airily before smirking a little and leaning towards him on the counter. “Well I’ve visited South Korea before, and it’s hard not to know when I’ve literally walked into your face at a mall. Went there for the library, originally.”

It makes sense. The Coex mall. A weirdly serious tourist attraction because of Starlight Library, neighboring his agency’s museum, which thought it is for whatever reason necessary to put digital screens everywhere with idols’ displays on them. The world is so small. Even when he is at a place so little that it is a literal dot on the world map, he is somehow spotted. But this time it does not feel all that serious.

“But I swear that’s not why I approached you at first. I didn’t even realize until I went over a few videos the other day and literally saw your face in one of them. Imagine the horror I went through.” You laugh lightly before clinking his glass again. “For a good minute I thought you’d think of me as a crazy fan or something.”

“I was about to, just now.” He sees your face change in shock and mocked hurt, and raises his glass a little in defense. “But I didn’t. Your explanation makes enough sense.”

You laugh. “Just down the drink, Suh. You need to get tipsy already.” He sees you down yours and smile a little afterwards, and you shrug, just as he brings his glass to his lips. “For the record, I don’t care. Like you said, realistically you’re just Johnny.”

He downs the drink with a dumb smile on his face.

The two of you return to the resort slightly tipsy that day, but it does not stop you from going out the upcoming day.

You go to Kingstown again and walk around looking at the buildings and the Gothic churches that seemed to be everywhere despite the town’s small size, taking photographs and interacting with the locals. He finds himself to be greatly inspired by the coexistence of the English colonial architecture that looks old, intimidating and grey, with the colorful, wooden and inviting local architecture— he photographs almost every street you two pass, sometimes even asking locals if he could photograph them. It is a generally more relaxing day as you hang out and eat and drink and speak and support the local businesses, dedicating time to each other.

On the seventh day, he basically gets dragged out of his room with you promising that you will give him the last two days of him to laze around. Until this point he had already skipped swimming in any way for 2 days, and he really wanted to have relaxed beach days with the comfort of a bed available to him at anytime because who knew when he would get another vacation like this.

But he internally shuts his internal voice up when your boat ride (a different kind this time) brings you to a waterfall inside a canyon.

Johnny comes to learn you are an adventure addict, one that likes to share her experiences. And he loves that about you.

Well.

Johnny comes to learn that he himself is a bit of an adventure addict when he kisses you on the night of the ninth day.

In all of his defense, there was a fair share of attraction. The initial attraction was undeniable. He would have liked to think it was mutual. And maybe it was, because you had kissed him back.

Not only did you kiss him back, but you let him hold your hand and lead you to his room for privacy. You let him caress you, your cheek and your waist as he kisses you against the wall. You let him lay you down on his bed. You let his hands roam around your body, and you roam your hands around his as well. You let him mark you up in his moment of bad, tipsy judgement, the plum colored bruises splattered around your chest and stomach where his hands bunch your top up. And maybe just to get even, you lay him down mark him up too, focusing on his collarbones. You both let each other elicit such sounds from one another, it is almost hard to believe that you two had just met several days ago.

It is a tipsy mistake at worst. Neither of you goes further out of mutual respect.

Yet maybe it is not the worst, because you sleep and wake up together. Still tangled in each other.

It is the tenth day. In a matter of hours, he has to be at the port to go to Bridgetown again and start the madness that is his way back.

“I don’t wanna leave yet,” He complains as he rubs your arm that is slung over his chest, getting a hum from you, though not the kind you had made last night. “Why?”

“My sense of time was just getting better,” That gets an unenthusiastic giggle from you. “Ouch.”

“Why?” Shrug. “I thought it was because of me or something.”

You are joking, but he does not get it. He looks down at you, meeting his gaze with yours when you tilt your neck up to look at him. Even better, he furrows his brows. “You’re part of the reason why. Probably the biggest part.”

Silence. But you smile softly, which makes him smile softly.

You can see the hope inside his eyes, and when he parts his lips, you cut him off. “Don’t even ask. Dating and traveling full time don’t exactly go hand in hand.”

What you say does not even faze Johnny. “I can imagine. But I’m willing to learn more about you, if you let me,” He mumbles sleepily. “I don’t mind waiting if we want something to happen. And I don’t mind having a kick-ass friend who’s traveled to 120 countries if we decide we don’t want something to happen.” This time, he shrugs. “Win-win either way.”

His fake carelessness makes you laugh even though you are too tired to laugh fully, and in the end you just end up smiling way too wide to the point where your cheeks hurt. You would like everything he just said and more. “If you insist. Are you ready to hear the classiest thing about me yet?”

“Hm?”

“You need to e-mail me or call me from Skype because half the time I don’t even have connection.” Looking at his sleepy, dumbfounded face you laugh a little, but he shrugs again.

“I could work with that.”

[yoontopia]

𝟯𝟮. “𝗜𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂” | 𝗷𝗷𝗸

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader; genre: fluff, sort of idol!verse;  words: 2.8k

warnings: none ; rating: G

Part of the ‘100 Ways to say I Love you’ drabbles

author’s note: had to throw the long hair and tattoos in there, i couldn’t stop myself

You lay in bed staring blankly up at the ceiling, head void of thoughts. You could smell the barbecued meat despite your closed bedroom door, the deliciousness wafting in and making your stomach grumble. You know you need to get dressed and head downstairs soon, but the exhaustion from the past week is settling in and you cannot bear to move.

You hear your mother calling for you and you shout back in response that yes! you’re coming, for the guests will start arriving soon. Being back home after almost five years of being away at university halfway across the world had your parents throwing a very informal barbecue for the neighbours living on your street. It had been about a week since your return and your parents had been so excited that they had been treating you like a prized possession. You wondered how long this treatment would last, before your mom would start shouting at you to carry out your shares of household chores.

Sitting up in your bed, you looked around your bedroom. You had grown up here, spent your childhood and teen years here, but had moved away at the ripe age of eighteen, and never looked back. Your room, therefore, had remained immortalized, peeling posters of whatever rock bands you’d been obsessed with stuck on the wall. A small desk stood under the window, stacked with your old textbooks, the wall next to it covered with taped photographs of you, your family, and your childhood friends.

Smiling slightly to yourself you got out of the bed and made your way to the photo wall, looking at each picture carefully. Most of the photos were of you and your best friend Jooyoung, who had moved away for university herself. While the two of you had headed your separate ways after high school, you’d kept in touch, often video calling each other and giving out life updates. Jooyoung, in your opinion, was your soulmate, someone who’d been there for you since day one, who knew you inside and out. You missed her terribly and were almost sad that she wouldn’t be here today. Unlike you, however, Jooyoung visited home often, attending university a mere three-hour drive away.

Your eyes travelled to the other photos, some of you with your parents, of your old cat whom you terribly missed, until your eyes landed on one particular picture, which had been crinkled with time. It was a photo of you and Jooyoung at a lemonade stand out on your driveway, accompanied by a skinny boy with a mop of dark hair falling over his forehead. You frowned slightly staring at the boy’s face, memories flooding in. That’s right, Jooyoung and you were part of an inseparable trio during your school years, the third leg of which was made up by one Jeon Jungkook. Nerdy and geeky and video-game obsessed, Jungkook had lived across the street from you and you and he had spent many years being attached at the hip. This was, however, one of the only photos you had left of him.

At the ripe young age of fifteen, Jungkook had moved to Seoul on his own, having been scouted by some entertainment company. You remembered laughing at him with Jooyoung when he’d told you what had happened and had warned him that he was about to get scammed. But it hadn’t been a scam, and Jungkook had moved to Seoul and you’d never heard from him again. His emails had dwindled after a while, and once you’d moved away and gotten busy with your own life, you’d forgotten all about him. Your mother would occasionally give you updates over phone calls that he’d been training to be put into a group, that he’d debuted, that his group had gathered decent popularity in the country. Your mother had spoken with quiet pride, talking about Jungkook as though he was her own son. It made sense, you supposed, he’d been quite close with your parents, just like you’d been close with his.

You’d left Korea around the time he’d debuted and had never bothered to check his group out, partly due to not wanting unwanted memories to return. Jungkook had all but cut you and Jooyoung from his life and you needed no reminders of that fact. Their international popularity wasn’t very high, but if your mother was right, everybody in Korea with a working internet connection knew who they were. You supposed it was a flex, being a childhood friend to someone sort-of famous, but you doubted famous idol Jeon Jungkook even remembered you. You wondered if you’d even recognize him now, some seven years later. He was probably rich, and you were a struggling unemployed graduate moving back home to start your job search. Two completely different worlds. However, in your small, sleepy town full of fishermen and farmers, even famous Jeon Jungkook would have a hard time being recognized. This place was literally filled to the brim with the elderly.

Your mom calls for you again and you yell back that you’re coming. Walking over to your dresser you changed out of your sweatpants into jeans and a striped sweater. Shoving your feet into your bedroom slippers you took a deep breath before heading downstairs, pulling your bedroom door shut behind you.

You padded downstairs and joined your mother in the kitchen where she was busy setting plates.

“Need help?” you asked. Your mom smiled at you and handed you a bag of cutlery.

“Please put these out,” she said. “Forks in one cup knives in one cup.” You nodded and sat down on a stool near the kitchen island and began sorting the cutlery.

People were beginning to arrive, and you could hear them greeting your father who was busy cooking up a feast in the front yard barbecue.

“Where’s Seungwoon?” you asked, wondering where your little brother had gone off to. Your mother looked at the clock near the stove.

“I sent him to get some extra drinks. You kids will need drinks,” she let out a soft laugh. “I keep forgetting you kids are all basically adults now. I stocked juice yesterday, but I realized you’d probably need alcohol too, so I sent him to buy some.”

“You sent an eighteen-year-old kid on a booze run?” you snorted, and your mother laughed along.

“He was eager, so I put him up to it.” She said and you laughed. It felt nice, being back home, hearing your mother’s laugh in person.

“How many people did you invite anyway?” you asked, leaning to look outside. It was a bright sunny day, the sweltering August heat shining through the kitchen window.

“Not too many,” she said, putting some bread in the oven to warm. “The Sungs’ next door, Sooyeon and her husband are coming, although Jooyoung isn’t home, I’m afraid,” she looked over at you apologetically and you sighed. “She’s interning and working through the summer and couldn’t get the weekend off. They work her to the bone, but she really sticks to it. Let’s see… a couple more families that you probably don’t know, they’re new on the street, moved in three or so years ago. They don’t have any kids.”

“So there is nobody my age!” you said in surprise. “Seungwoon didn’t need to go get alcohol just for me and him mom, I can drink the juice.” Your mom laughed at your outburst and looked at you, hands on her hips.

“They Jeons’ are coming, and they have two fully grown kids who will need to be fed and watered,” You stopped sorting forks and looked up in mild shock. Your mom smiled knowingly. “Junghyun’s back for the weekend and I believe so is Jungkook,” she sighed as she said that. “Boy he must be a true Seoul child now – I wonder if our cheap countryside liquor and food is up to his current tastes, I haven’t seen him for years, unless its on TV of course.”

“So, you just want everything perfect because we’re having a minor celebrity over?” you asked glumly.

“Can you blame me?” she exclaimed. “You’ll see what I mean when they come, he’s different. People from Seoul are just different. I bet he drinks some fancy overseas brand of beer.”

“He’s not from Seoul,” you snapped. “He’s from here and if he looks down his fat nose at our country bumpkin ways, I’ll sit on him like I used to.”

“I’d like to see you try,” your mother grinned. “He’s had his growth spurts while yours seem to have forgotten you.”

“I’m short because grandma is short!” You exclaimed, but only half annoyed. Your mother laughed again and changed topics. The rest of the time was spent in you setting out plates in a pile and mixing the dressing into the salad and bringing out the napkins for people to grab. Your brother returned shortly after, and you helped him unload the soju and beer into the fridge. Then you resumed your seat at the kitchen island, scrolling through your phone while your mother had you taste everything to make sure it was edible.

“Stop fussing mom,” you said, at last. “Everything tastes good, and dad’s barbecue ribs are always a hit.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just excited you’re back,” she sighed. “It’s nice to have some help in the kitchen like this, just us girls.” The two of you shared a smile. Just then, the doorbell rang. Your brother opened the door. You turned to see who it was, and a smile split on your face.

Jungkook’s mother came in first, holding a bottle of wine that she put down next to you. She gave you a big smile and you let out a little squeal and jumped up to give her a hug.

“Oh my! You have grown so much!” she said laughing, pulling you in for another hug. The two of you were so busy catching up that you almost didn’t notice a tall figure entering after his mother. When you looked up, you finally saw him, and you had to exercise great control to stop your jaw from hitting the floor.

Because right there, talking quietly in the entrance to your house to your little brother, was Jeon Jungkook. You wouldn’t have recognized him off the street. He was tall, broad, wearing a well fitted black sweatshirt and black jeans that were ripped at the knees. A pair of expensive sunglasses were tucked into the front of his sweater. His hair was long, falling into his eyes, and curling around his ears, which had been pierced in multiple places. The silver of his hooped earrings shown every time he moved his head. You blinked – was that a tattoo peaking up from his sweater and curling around his neck?

Forcing yourself to turn your attention back to Mrs. Jeon, you laughed awkwardly at whatever she had been saying, only hearing half of it. Suddenly feeling small and awkward, you turned back to your phone and buried yourself in it. Jeon Jungkook had gone out and come back looking like a walking magazine cover and you still looked like you did at fifteen, only now with two degrees to your name. You tried to tune everything out as you scrolled twitter, hoping that you’d suddenly become invisible to everyone around you.

“Guk!” his mother called affectionately, and you bit your tongue trying not to curse out loud. “Look who’s here!” You heard him walk over, could smell the faint cologne as he approached his mother.

A soft voice said your name in mild surprise, and your chest constricted because you hardly recognized his voice either, which had deepened in the last seven years. You locked your phone hesitantly and turned in his direction, trying to meet his eyes.

Round brown eyes blinked back at you, containing the surprise that his voice also held. You gave him a small smile in greeting.

“Hey Jungkook, how’ve you been?” you asked, hating how meek your voice sounded.

“Kids, go upstairs,” your mom said from her spot at the stove, not bothering to even look up. You suspected she felt as small in Jungkook’s presence as you did. You sighed and got off your seat slowly and beckoned for Jungkook to follow you. He did.

Once in your room, you sat down on your bed and Jungkook awkwardly took a seat at your desk chair.

“So,” you started, letting the word drag out. “A singer, huh?”

The tips of his ears went red, to your surprise. You’d expected confidence, even cockiness. He rubbed the back of his neck almost shyly.

“You know?” he asked. You shrugged.

“My mom’s a fan,” you said truthfully, snorting. “I’ll be honest though; I’ve never checked out your music.”

“Ouch,” he said, and to your surprise, a look of genuine hurt crossed his face. But you blinked and it was gone. “How are you?”

“M’fine,” you said slowly. “It’s weird being back, but I’m getting used to it. I’m done university and now I gotta job hunt y’know.”

“Right,” he said, sounding impressed, and you didn’t know why. “What was your degree in?”

“Dual major in biochemistry and pharmaceuticals,” you said. His mouth opened and he looked genuinely stupefied.

“Woah that’s like, cool,” He said, and you let out a small laugh because he sounded genuine. “So, you’re like an academic.”

“Kinda?” you said. “It doesn’t feel any different though. I’m unemployed for now.”

“I always pictured you doing well at school and stuff,” he said, still sounding awed. “It’s a good look.”

“A good look?”

“Dunno, science? It’s a good look, it suits you. It looks good on you.” You blinked. Nobody had put it that way before.

“What? That’s such a weird thing to say,” you said huffing out a laugh. The tips of Jungkook’s ears went even redder.

“I’m just saying I always pictured you being successful,” he said softly. You frowned.

“Are you serious right now?” you asked. He looked at you, head tilting in a heartbreakingly familiar way. “Who’s the more successful person in this room right now? Aren’t you like, a millionaire?”

“I only finished high school!” he told you and you gaped at him. “I never got to go to university, so I think it’s cool that you got out of here and did all that all on your own.” His sentence ended in a mumble. The two of you sat there in silence after that.

“Was it hard?” you asked after a while. He looked up at you in question. “Was it hard giving it all up?”

“Yeah… I guess,” he said. “But what part of life isn’t hard?”

“Was it worth it?”

“Yeah,” he said and this time there was no hesitation, which had you smiling. “I did miss all my friends though.”

“Like me,” you joked

“Like you.” He said simply, and the smile slipped from your face.

“You stopped keeping in touch,” you whispered.

“Keeping in touch made me sad,” he said quietly. “I was homesick a lot back then, and all I wanted to do was run away and be able to go to school with everyone again. Your emails and updates made me sad and homesick.”

“I’m sorry that’s not what I—” you started but he cut you off with a knowing smile.

“I know, but to a fifteen-year-old it felt like the end of the world.” You stared at him.

“Yes, but now you’re like… you,” you said at last, finally letting yourself sound impressed. “Don’t you have a gaggle of fangirls throwing themselves at you? I swear that’s what happens to good looking famous boys.”

“You think I’m good looking?” he asked, his bashful expression disappearing replaced by a small smirk. You swallowed but decided to play nonchalant.

“Have you looked at you?” you gestured at him and his smirk widened.

“You’re still so cute,” he said simply. Your cheeks suddenly felt a tad too warm. You were about to ask him what he meant by ‘still’ when you heard your mom calling you both down for drinks. You stood up.

“C’mon,” you said and walked to the door. When you looked back you saw Jungkook still stood near your desk, staring at the photos taped to the wall, a small smile playing on his face, his hand on a certain crinkled picture. “Guk.” The nickname slipped out accidentally.

He looked over at you, and you tried not to blush under his gaze. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that this man was the same boy who beat your brother at every video game and who you used to sit on when he annoyed you and who you and Jooyoung had bribed into putting on a full face of his mother’s makeup at thirteen. But as he approached you, you couldn’t help but feeling that maybe he hadn’t changed all that much after all.

“Let’s go I’m hungry,” he said. “Hey, do you guys have any juice?”

You couldn’t help it. You laughed.

[geniuscloud]

NCT U React- Love at First Sight// First Meeting

“Hello! Can I request a NCT U reaction to meeting a girl who is ( in the future their girlfriend) 5'9 tall and a 01' liner? A love at first sight scenario would be really cute! Can you write what would attract them or what would be the first thing they notice in a girl in general? Thank you~💜” @taekook-kookies

I’m sorry I didn’t include Taeil or Kun, because I’m really really lazy and I can’t think of any more! I didn’t QUITE do the age thing; so it’s a little more inclusive. Just because of the age gap, and the fact that 01′ liners are currently underage... 

Taeyong

You were a trainee at SM; and only a few months into your contract. You still didn’t quite know your way around the building, and you were already pressed for time. With frustration sitting on your shoulders, you saw a similar door, and you barged in through one of the dance rooms. He was frozen in the middle of the room, due to being a little shocked from the noise. You wouldn't stop apologizing for interrupting him, and he couldn’t help but laugh at how flustered you were. The constant little bows, and nervous backing up, and tripping over your bag, caused the biggest smile to be glued to his face. He reassured you that you weren't a bother, and actually started asking you questions. 

Taeyong found out you were a trainee, and asked for you to dance with him. He made the excuse that he wanted to see the new talent in SM, but more or less just wanted to spend a little extra time with you. From the moment he saw you, he was mesmerized. The difference between your clumsy first impression, and the talent and control you have in your dancing was like day and night. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you when you showed him your routine. 

He started to fall for you almost immediately. The passion that radiated through you, was something he noticed from the first meeting. He loved how you two were so similar, yet different. Through your professions, and in all aspects of life. You were like ‘Ying’ and ‘Yang. A perfect unit, who together made something beautiful.

_____________

Doyoung

The first time he saw you was in a cafe. He had been walking by a little cafe on his way back to the dorm and decided on grabbing a drink. When he glanced through the window he saw you sitting at the piano, nestled into the corner, as the other customers all stared at you. Your angelic voice filled the room; the soft and sweetness of your voice was like sugar. He grabbed his drink and sat down close to the piano, his eyes not wanting to leave your frame. 

When you stood up to bow, the room erupted into cheers. Your eyes scanned over everyones smiling faces, falling onto Doyoung’s who was almost at your side now. He greeted you kindly, wanting to know who the angel in front of him was. Only falling a few inches shorter than him, he peered into your eyes with infatuation. Your silky voice was like music to his ears, an addiction, and he couldn't get enough. From that moment on, he knew he was hooked. 

______________

Jaehyun

NCT U was doing a fan meet, and you were lucky enough to get tickets with hi-touch. On the inside you were dying a little, but remained calm on the outside. While in line you noticed a lot of the members kept glancing at the line where you were standing. It may have been because you stuck out like a sore thumb among many of the fans. You were a tree in a sea of grass. Most of the fans were very dainty and short, while you were able to see well over everyones heads. You began to feel a little anxious, scared that the boys would maybe think you were “unnatural” or weird. You knew how sweet they are, but you couldn’t help but fear judgment.

When you finally got to the members, you noticed Jaehyun kept looking at you from the side, since he was still a few members down. You began to blush a little since your bias kept making eye contact with you. You held your breath to calm yourself, before shifting down to him. With the biggest smiled, he greeted you, holding out his hands to interlock with yours. He commented how beautiful you looked, before asking you a quick couple questions. Jaehyun was shocked to find out your actual height, and then when you told him you were two years younger than him. He winked at you, and said “You’re so mature for your age, I thought you would have been older. By the way, your height is perfect, there is no need to feel embarrassed. Actually, I think it makes you even better. Would you mind staying a bit after the fan meet, i’d love to talk to you a little more...”

______________

WinWin

You were in a girl group from YG, so naturally, you pretty much stayed away from any competition. Your group was pretty new, and you didn’t want to jeopardize anything, so your friendships and relationships pretty much stayed within your close circle of friends. It wasn’t until an award show that you started to really talk to other idols who were outside of your company. It was a little scary meeting so many new people, and so many extremely famous people. You were star struck. 

When you and your group finally got to your seats, you noticed some “overflow”  from the other group who was seated beside you. The boys jumped to their feet and apologized, saying there were a little more of them than the venue had seats for their group. The one boy shyly stood beside you, after offering up his seat for you to sit down. You thanked him, and introduced yourself. He warmed up quickly, and engaged in a conversation with you. His name was Sicheng, but he went by Win Win. You found comfort in both being foreigners, and kept the conversation going most of the night. 

He was drawn to how personable and funny you were. The entire night was filled with laughter, that the two of you forgot about the award show, until he was whisked away with the rest of NCT to accept an award and preform. Before he left, he got your number, and the little achievement of getting a pretty girls number made him a little less nervous. During his performance, he kept making eye contact with you, and seeing you cheer for him like this made his heart flutter. He hoped that later on, you’d be back here doing this again, but as his girlfriend.

_____________

Jungwoo

(Can we talk about of adorable, and soft he is? Fuck, I love Jungwoo so much. I want to hug him forever. He’s my baby, and he’s not even my bias. Oof. PS. I put the gif in first and It’s taken my like 10 minutes to start because he’s so cute and I keep blushing and “awwing” when I see him)

It was a late night, and the restaurant you worked in was pretty much vacant. That was until your boss got a call saying to prepare a table for 18 people, and to keep it secluded. You hadn't worked at the restaurant very long, only a few months, but it wasn’t rare a few celebrities stopped by since the location was so close to SM entertainment’s main building. Your boss told you that you basically had to keep your cool, or you would be sent home, since she knew how much you liked NCT. 

Within an hour the restaurant was filled with gorgeous men, and your heart almost stopped. You had to stay away from the table most of the time, and were not allowed to converse with them unless spoken to. Your boss didn't want you to screw it up and disturb the group. You stood off in the hallway, waiting incase they needed something. Suddenly someone rounded the corner and scared you a little, almost making you drop your tray. You recognized him instantly as Jungwoo, one of your favourites out of the new members. He asked for the bathroom, and then questioned if you were ordered to just stand and wait on them. You silently nodded to him and then told him you were y/n, and that you were a huge fan, and so you were told not to bother them. He just laughed a little, and pulled you towards the room.

“Everyone, this is y/n. She’s an adorable fan. Wouldn’t you guys think it would be nice if she joined us rather than standing in the hallway? I’ll be back, but you can sit there and join us.” he turned towards you, giving you one of his innocent yet mesmerizing looks. “Your boss won’t mind if I request it right? I’d love to dine with someone as adorable as you... Maybe alone next time?” Jungwoo just loved how innocent and cute you were. Him being someone who was equally innocent, found how you two matched each other to be perfect. You both were different, but had a similar personality. Kind and gentle, and that’s what attracted him to you.

____________

Lucas

(The nations fuckboi, who is honestly so hot goddamn. I kinda want death because his personality is great and he’s so attractive, and he reminds me a little of SHINee’s Minho; and i’m a hoe for Minho. ANYWAYS.)

Being a makeup artist DEFINITELY has it’s perks. You get to be close to famous idols, and make hot boys, even hotter. Not to mention touching the faces of said, hot boys. You were working on a photoshoot set for NCT, and the boy you were assigned was a boy named Lucas. He was the same age as you, but had at least 6 inches on you, meaning he had to sit, and any last minute changes meant squatting as you reapplied eyeliner and concealer. The entire time he was getting his makeup done, he just stared at you with a smirk plastered on his face, and he kept making little comments as you tried to do his makeup.

“Is my skin good?”

“You know, you’re really cute. What’s your name?”

“How long have you done makeup for? I heard you’re the same age as me.”

“Do you speak any other languages?”

“Do you think I’M cute?”

“You’re surprisingly patient with me; since my talking keeps screwing up what you’re doing. I just want to talk to you though, because I think you’re cute. Is that too much?” You couldn’t help but giggle at him, trying to be as professional as possible.

“Hey that’s a cute smile. If you keep doing that, I think I might fall in love with you properly... If you give me your number; i’m sure I could make you smile like that again. Wow, that was smooth. I impressed myself,” he laughed. You couldn’t help it. Lucas was being adorable and stupid at the same time. He was trying to be cool and flirty, but kinda killed it with his child-like attitude. You gave into him, and gave your number before walking off. You glanced over your shoulder, to see him excitedly punch the air before adding your number into his phone. 

Lucas knows that looks aren't everything, but he was so overtaken with your beauty, and the fact that you could handle his child-like demeanour which a lot of people didn’t have the patience for. He was a screamer, outgoing, and just so full of energy. Your calm and patience really clicked well with him, because you were basically his rock. He needs someone who can control him, and calm him down during certain times, rather than amp him up. 

__________________

Mark

(This is totally based off of their recent VLIVE in the cafe.)

You were struggling to carry two heavy boxes of albums back to your hotel room, when it suddenly began to rain. In a panic you ran into the first cafe you could find, and begged the workers for a garbage bag to shield the boxes from the rain. The cafe was quite, until a cough from one of the customers startled you. Four boys sat at the table, and were talking to the camera set up on the end. It was obvious you had disturbed them, and they just silently blinked in response to you barging in and yelling. Embarrassment crept on your cheeks as you locked eyes with the idols you recognized all so well. Mark, Jaehyun, Johnny, and Ten from NCT were sitting at the table doing a VLIVE, which you just ruined. They quickly said goodbye, and then Mark’s eyes panned from your face to the two boxes you were holding, which said in big bold letters ‘NCT 2018: EMPATHY.’

The first thought that came to your head was a panicked “They probably think I’m stalking them” and a string of apologies and excuses came pouring out of your mouth. The four started to chuckle a little bit, realizing that you were sincere. “Why do you have so many albums?” Johnny laughed. You began to tell them about how you were the president of the ‘North American NCT Street Team’ and that you organized a dedicated group of people who promote NCT, so they can reach a larger fan base in North America; and how you decided to hold a raffle to say thank you for your members since no one actually makes money from being on the street team. You decided when you went on your trip to Korea, that it would actually be cheaper to buy in bulk here, rather than have them shipped. The guys couldn't help but show their excitement, grabbing out a marker, and asking to sign them for you.

“Do you have an album too?” Mark asked. You nodded and pulled yours out of your backpack. When he opened the album, his photo card fluttered out and landed on the table in front of him. “This definitely was fate. I put my number on the back of the card, you should call me because I think you might be able to make this into an actual job. I’d also hope you’d message me for other reasons too, maybe instead of supporting us as a group, you could support us as friends. I’d love to get to know you, call me, okay?” 

The first thing Mark had noticed about you, like Taeyong, was your passion and confidence. Originally you were shy, but you warmed up really fast as soon as you started pouring your heart out about your love and dedication to NCT. He loved listening to you talk about the stuff you like. 

___________

Ten

The first time you met Ten was when he was on ‘Hit The Stage’ for the second time. He had been on the show previously, but they invited him back for a showcase, in which he was doing a duet to his own song ‘Dream in a Dream.’ You were just a dancer for the show, and being one of the best contemporary dancers, you were paired with him. You two didn't properly meet until your first rehearsal, where you two were to come up with the dance together. Ten was a little shy at first, and listened to everything you said without quickly shutting down your ideas, even if he didn’t really like them. 

“Since it’s a partner dance, I think we need to gain some trust and chemistry. Do you want to go out for dinner or something and get to know each other a little better?” you suggested. Ten started laughing, and asked if you were trying to flirt with him. You giggled in response, jokingly asking if it had worked. 

“Well, I will meet you for dinner, but we’ll have to see where it goes from there... You’ll have to woo me a little. Though, if you keep up this cute attitude, I might just actually fall for you.”

Ten liked you because you took initiative, and you don’t shy away from competition. You stand out, but you can be reserved and quiet when the time calls for it. He likes that you’re all around pretty balanced, but really enjoys being able to join him in jokes and that you both have a very similar sense of humour. 

[soft-sarcasm]

im jaebum: standards.

Pairing: im jaebum x reader.

Request: vickyxmelonlove: Hello there!! May i request for a GOT7 scenario with JB or Mark where they're crush is a tsundere. ^^ please and thanks!!

Anonymous: Can you please write a Got7 JB smut with n i p p l e play? Thank you:)

Genre: smut, fluff, mild nipple play, some even milder drying humping.

Word count: 3.6+k.

a/n: so I didn’t intend to combine this two requests but it just kinda of worked so, yeah. I hope this is what you wanted, I don’t know how well it turned out because both of these things are not exactly things I’m very well versed in, so yeah. Thanks for reading.

"-Again."

 "-Again."

 "-Again."

 "-Agai-"

 "-If you say again one more time I'm going to explode." Came the voice of your boyfriend, the sound amplified as it filtered through the Mic and into the dimly lit producing booth you currently occupied.

 You could understand his frustration. It was slowly going on 3am and you add been making him repeat the second half of his part in the third verse for a good ten to fifteen minutes, constantly interrupting when you deemed it necessary for a retake.

 You rolled your eyes, pressing down your finger on the com button so that your voice filled the space behind the glass that currently separated you. "You're the one who wanted to make a song together Jaebummie and you knew well in advance how I operate."

 You had been a music producer at JYP for years now, after being one of the few trainees who auditioned for the position and actually was hired. You had also worked on many of the most successful singles to come out of the entertainment company, songs like 'TT' by Twice that was a monster of a bit and GOT7's 'Never Ever.' That's where you had truly had gotten to know your boyfriend who was currently glaring at you from behind the glass. Of course, you both knew of each other from working in the same company for so long and having mutual friends, but you had only gotten to know each other during that time.

 But while you had worked on the track, you had only assisted during the actual recording so this was the first time that he was in a session that you were leading entirely. And while he knew of your perfectionist attitude as it translated into your daily life, it seemed that he hadn't fully grasped just how ready you were to keep you both there all night until you were happy with it. You had warned him that you weren't going to compromise because of your relationship and he had simply brushed it off, eager to start on the project he had been nagging you for, for weeks after he had spent one too many times listening to some of your samples and base tracks. While he himself was no stranger to producing, he had always been fascinated by your ear for music and personal flourish that made most of the projects you touched instant hits.

"Just one more time Jae, and then I promise we're finished." You attempted to coax, putting on a pretty smile and bat of your eyelashes.

He simply scoffed but never the less slipped back on the headset. You started up the track to the right time and leaned back as he prepared to sing. Listening carefully for the correct flourishes and pronunciation that you wanted. The song cut off as did his voice, and you looked up from your notes to see him staring at you expectantly.

"Up to your standards then?"

You simply raised your shoulders, a coy smile threatening to curl at the edges of your lips. "It'll have to do. You can come out now."

There was a distinct huff that came through the Mic before you turned off the com and begun to resemble yourself as you finally prepared to leave. It wasn't that you tried to be a bitch. It was just who you were and one of the reasons why you had been able to accomplish what you had in your life. It had not been easy by any means to get yourself taken seriously as a music producer in the beginning and you had had to fight tooth and nail to get you to where you are simply due to age and being a gender which still remained unfavoured when it came to music producing.

 You were a perfectionist and a borderline control freak which usually made you a pretty unlikeable person. There was also the fact that you were entirely dedicated to your just above almost everything else that had always made getting into relationships, whether platonic or romantic, rather difficult as most people rarely put up with someone who would rather stay holed up in their studio for days then replying to text messages or going outside even. You also were known to be quite harsh in your search for basic perfection and there was also your fundamentally standoffish personality. And yet, despite all these things, Im Jaebum had decided that he found you charming enough to want to date and you had found him tolerable enough to do the same. Almost 18 months later here you were.

 "I should put Yugyeom in here with you, maybe then he'll stop complaining anytime I make him repeat a verse," Jaebum stated offhandedly as he entered in the sound booth area, making his way to settle in the chair next to you as he had noticed that you had favoured rerunning through the song opposed to getting fully ready to return to your apartment. "But I can't say anything; you definitely know your shit."

 "Thanks," You mused, listening for any lasting imperfections for the umpteenth time that day. You had started working on this track a day or so ago, having finalised the instrumental and most of the lyrics to the point that all Jaebum would have to do is add the vocals and any lyrical choices of his own. Being in the industry had taught you both to move at an incredible pace with your own side projects being no exception.

 "Ready to head home?"

 You let out a non-committal hum, no longer focusing on the world around you as your mind drifted. "I just remembered there's this track Hui wanted me to smooth over that I never got around to doing."

 "Good lord," Jaebum exclaimed, exasperation saturating his tone. "You cannot start anything right now. It is almost 3 and you have been up for nearly 24 hours. If you keep it any longer your eyes will literally pop out of your skull."

 "Sounds fun," You stated offhandedly, now fully immersed in your own swirling brain. "I bet you I could have it done by 7."

 "And die in the process?" Jaebum scoffed, pulling himself from the chair in a motion to leave. "I thought I was meant to be the tsundere one.”

“Please, that trifle you call angst is just a fraction of what I possess, so watch out,” You stated pointedly, making a flare gesture to yourself, “Because if your fans ever catch a sight of this; they’re mine.”

“Yes, yes, you’re very angsty dear.” He cooed mockingly like some patronizing grandmother causing you to scowl, “Now let’s get out of here, I’m already dead on my feet as it is.”

“But, but- the song, music, creativity,” You rambled pitifully, turning to pout and display your most endearing set of puppy dog eyes. “Just five more minutes, pwease?”

Jaebum physically cringed at the overwhelming sweetness and babyish texture of your voice, “Please, go back to being angsty that was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”

Taking this as a cue to go farther you suddenly were springing up from your chair, performing an impromptu display of the many different ageyo expressions you had watched idols do for years. “Please, I really want to finish this song. I promise I’ll love you forever,” And just to finish it off you ended with a small whine as you jutted out your bottom lip and hung on his arm, the cherry on top being the finger heart you shot over in his direction.

“I think I’m actually going to be sick,” He gaped, face covered in nothing but pure distaste and disbelief, “You’ve officially lost it, we’re going home.”

You abandoned your posture at that, falling back into your usual stance of indifference as you regained your composure, letting out a dissatisfied sound as you did, “All that work; just to be rejected. I guess it’s true, boys are only into what’s chic these days and when a girl shows her true emotions, they simply push them aside. I thought society had moved past this, but alas,” You let out a sorrowful sigh, “We have not.”

“If that was a true display of your emotions; we need to break up,” Jaebum stated plainly moving even closure to the door causing you to wonder if he had realised that the most movement you had made to leave was stand up from your chair. “Now can we please go, I want to at least get some form of sleep before you wake me up to no doubt re-do the second verse or maybe even the entire song.”

“Perfect idea,” You exclaimed, “You go home, I stay here. I’ll call you at 10 and we can go on from there, sorted. See you tomorrow!”

There was a loud groan and a muffled bang as Jaebum all but slammed his head into the door he was in the process of opening out of what you could only assume was frustration, he then turned back to you, “Fuck man, you are so insufferable sometimes. You are not a robot, you need to sleep-”

“-Sleep,” You dismissed, “Sleep is for the weak. I’m not even tired yet, so all that would happen would be that we would get home, you would pass out and I’d just lie there, all night, fixating on the work I should be doing. I’ll sleep when this is do-”

“-more like when you’re dead if you keep this up.” Dammit. You had done it now. Gone was the majority of the playfulness that up until this point that guided your conversation. You overworking yourself was a common topic of your conversation ever since a few months back where you had suddenly passed out after leaving a recording session at 3 am. Jaebum had been near furious to find out that it was mainly due to the fact that you hadn’t slept for two days and had eaten maybe half a meal during the same time period.

You wanted to say that he couldn’t say shit because there were times when he was injured or fatigued and he still performed, but he simply argued that at least he took care of himself enough that he could actually manage those performances without flaking out. Yeah, it was a touchy subject.

“Jae,” You started, softer now with the sudden change of tone, “I really think that even if I tried, I wouldn’t get any sleep right now and you know how much I hate that, just lying there when there’s something better I could be doing. I know what you’re saying is valid and you know better than anyone that I’ve been doing better, so just this once; let me stay here and then I promise I’ll sleep all of Saturday just for you.”

There was a beat of silence and then Jaebum was dropping down his bag and sighing, making his way over to you just in time for you catch an interesting flicker of something in his feline edged eyes, “Why don’t we rather do something else that I know will tire you out and then we can go home and then you can come back?”

“And what would this something else be?” You replied, now understanding the shift in his tone as you realised that you had been backed up so that you were now pressed against the desk behind you.

There was a twitch of something between coy and satisfaction at the corners of his lips as Jaebum leaned closer so that his mouth was up against your ear, giving him the access to nip the skin. “Maybe you’ll just have to figure that out for yourself.”

You wanted to laugh at the blatant seduction in his voice but any noise that could have possibly been wanting to come out quickly evaporated as Jaebum crushed his lips against yours, teeth and tongue instantly added to mix as soon as you parted your lips. Jaebum further nestled himself into the spot between your legs, hands gripping every part of your clothed frame with just enough pressure to set you all on fire. You pulled yourself closer so that your forms were pulled together so with each one of your movements you could perfectly full every ridge of him, lazily licking and biting at his mouth as your hands travelled south so that you were roughly grabbing his ass to further push him into you.

A distinct hiss left his lips as you grinded up into him, the friction a delicious mixture of pleasure and denial, “Fuck, you really are something.”

You simply hummed in answer, taking his moment of weakness to not only spread your lips over the expanse of his exposed neck but also push the bomber jacket from his shoulders so that only a thin shirt remained. “You’re the one who offered,” You reminded while you nipped at his collar bones, “So don’t flake out on me now.”

He couldn’t answer straight away as you twist your hips up, having to regain himself before he could. “I’m not flaking, just stating the facts.”

“Then I take the compliment and raise you one,” You chortled happily, wandering fingers making their way to grasp at his belt. “Or rather, you can raise one.”

An actual laugh escaped his lips, a breathy one as you made your way to cup him in your hands, but still a laugh before he was removing himself from you for a moment, “You sure know how to just sneak in those innuendos don’t you?”

“It’s a talent,” You shrugged while making quick work of kicking off your shoes and discarding your sweater, exposing your chest instantly to the chilly sound booth thanks to your lack of bra. “But while it is one of many, patience is not, so if we could get on with this whole ‘tiring me out thing’ I’d very much appreciate it.”

Your words seemed to knock the sense that Jaebum seemed to lose at the sight of your fully bare chest. In your opinion, there was not a lot to look at, but apparently, it was one of Im Jaebum’s many things, and who were you to judge? He moved like lightning, freeing himself from his shirt and latching himself back to your body by way of your neck within a few seconds of each other. You let out an overly satisfied sound as the heat that radiated from his body made contact with you, an even more pampered noise escaping when a warm hand clamped down on your right breast, nimble fingers further stimulating your nipple that had already become perked due to the contrast of temperature.

His tongue trailed down your neck, teeth sometimes joining so that a kaleidoscope of sensation greeted you with each ministration. He only stopped when he reached the left side of your chest that had seemed neglected until then, his breath stuttering for just a moment as you continued to twist your clothed core up into his. You let out a soft gasp when his mouth finally came into contact with your nipple, there being no time to recover was his other hand pinched down on your other one.

“Shit,” You cursed while tossing your head back, keeping yourself stable by pushing back on the desk space behind you to keep you stable. There was a nip at the sensitive flesh that you could only imagine was overly red due to his ministrations. “Jae.”

He perked up at the sound of his nickname, a look of pure satisfaction and mischief in his eyes as he gazed up at you, “Yes? You okay up there?”

You let out a frustrated huff, the sound finishing over as a stunted whine when he decided that now was the appropriate time to give you a small flick. “Can we skip this part already? I know it’s like, a thing, but I currently need a different thing if you get what I mean.”

You were answered with a noncommittal hum and a kiss to the side that had once been occupied by his left hand, “I don’t know, I think you may have to be more specific. I mean, how am I meant to successfully tire you out if I don’t know what you want?”

There was a shriek when he sunk his teeth down and suddenly all of your inhibitions were gone and you were thrusting up your hips, “If you don’t fuck me this fucking instant I swear to god Jaebum I will get myself off right here, right now and make you watch.”

That seemed to knock some sense into him, especially as he knew you were perfectly capable of going through with any and all threats. There had been this one time when he had attempted to distract you from your work for a good two hours because he was horny and wanted attention even though you had a deadline. Simply put, he never tried that ever again.

The memory of that torturous night was probably one of the things that set him into instant motion, making quick work of helping you lift yourself up enough to take off your leggings before doing the same to his own jeans, though it seemed he was slightly too eager to even finish the job as he regained his spacing as soon as they were far enough down his thighs so that he could push down his underwear. You understood why the mere thought of not being able to finish what he had started and made him act so quickly when you saw the sight of his cock, incredibly hard and dripping precum. You had seen his dick enough times to not be surprised by it anymore but that didn’t mean that you didn’t take the time to admire it, not that that’s what you were doing right now, right now you were more frustrated by the fact that you could still see it and it wasn’t inside of your rather than how unnaturally pretty it was.

He didn’t waste any time either, cloaking your body with his own, mouth mashing against your own as you felt the all too familiar, yet still exhilarating feeling of his head lined up to your thoroughly sopping entrance. Even though it had barely been a day since the last time you had fucked, it felt like you hadn’t felt his body this close to your own in months. That feeling was quickly extinguished when he slid into you, the stretch welcomed as you both moaned in content.

“Fuck yes,” You sighed in satisfaction, rotating your hips in appreciation of the filling sensation.

Jaebum pressed an overly mushy kiss to your lips before he begun to move, each thrust making you both more riled up and sedated, his empty hand that wasn’t busy keeping your leg up to allow better access, sneaking in between your bodies to latch onto your swollen clit.

You clenched at the added stimulation causing him to groan, “Fuck, you feel fucking amazing.”

“Thanks,” You hummed, clenching down again as your eyes fought to not flutter closed. You enjoyed seeing Jaebum like this, sweat beginning to drip from his dark hair, face flushed with exertion, not to mention basically naked.

“Stop that,” He berated as you tightened yet again, “This is about you if you keep doing that there’s not going to be much of me left.”

“Sorry,” You apologised though it lost its sincerity when you pressed down again causing him to glare at you and press down harder on your clit in retaliation causing you to unleash a loud curse as you threw your head back. There was a twist in your stomach that you knew all too well, the sensation sending shocks through your body. “Fuck.”

“Seems like I won’t have to hold on for that much longer,” Jaebum chortled while slamming back into you causing you to let out an almost shriek.

He was right though, you could see your finish line, the race coming to an end with each twist of his thumb and slam of his hips. Then there was an intruder at your already full entrance and you arched from the table as Jaebum slipped in another finger alongside his dick, successfully stealing the air from your very beginning. You were completely speechless at the sudden sensation that was only amplified by the finger both in you and the one of your clit.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You repeated like a mantra before you were cumming, clamping down on Jaebum with an additional tightness thanks to the extra component which sent him spiralling.

Heavy breathing filled the sound booth, sounding as pleasant to you as many of the songs that had been produced in the very same space. You were thoroughly satisfied and there was an overwhelming sense of numbing exhaustion taking over your very being. Jaebum regained his strength before you did, moving you both to the couch after pulling out, he set you down in a lying position before he went off to find something to clean you off with.

“You tired enough to go home no-” Jaebum begun as he returned with a cloth after having to put on his clothes to go retrieve one, only to be met with you already passed out on the couch, having obviously used the last of your strength to grab for his discarded jacket to cover yourself. He let out a laugh at the endearing sight of your innocent expression as you slept peacefully, muttering himself as he made his way over to you, “Tsundere indeed.”

[watermonkey0]

4th Point of Contact - Mission Report #7

Author: WaterMonkey0

Pairing: Do Kyungsoo / Harper Hasagawa (OC)

Current Chapter Rating: PG

Genre: Canon

Mission Reports: #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7

I learned a lot more over the next few weeks about Kpop than I ever thought I would in my lifetime. Entertainment companies in Korea were not like the record labels back home. These agencies controlled every aspect of their brand, including: who they chose to train, what image they would portray, when they would begin their career, what type of music they would produce, everything.

Idols start their journeys off as ‘trainees’, having signed a contract with their company, but not ready to ‘debut’, meaning: start performing and stuff. They work daily with the choreographers, vocal coaches, linguists, and managers employed by their company until it’s decided that they are prepared. These baby idols live where I live, in the trainee dorm, either thriving or not in this highly competitive world. And when I say highly competitive, I mean highly competitive. Hell week in boot camp was bad, but at least I didn’t have to sing in perfect pitch while someone bounced a basketball on my stomach.

Tala also taught me that entertainment agencies trade trainees like Pokémon cards, and that’s how she ended up at SM.

~~~

Then of course, there were the boys. EXO came down to the lot nearly everyday, and Bacon made it a point to give me a high five. He always made the effort to speak to me, whether we were passing in the hall, the elevator, or when they were coming to pick up a van. It was sweet, even though I knew ‘hello’ was probably the extent of his english. And here I was, having downloaded three language apps, forced Tala to implement a Korean word of the day, and nearly drowned myself in Kpop...and the only word I knew was ‘yeoboseyo’. We were two peas in a pod, Bacon and I.

June came and went in a whirl of glitter, parking passes, and being constantly yelled at in Korean. By July 1st, I was ready to pull my hair out, but the look of smug victory I imagined on Chief Soo’s face kept me motivated. He wasn’t going to win, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to lose. I counted our interactions as battles in a thirteen year long war: the spark set off in his office where I took the lead, but he pushed back swiftly with carpool duty. So far, we were 1-1 and stalled, until July 4th when I couldn’t contain my desire for tacos any longer.

Ladies and Gentlemen, did you know that the largest military base outside of the United States is located 60 miles south of Seoul? Camp Humphreys is an army base, sprawling 1,200 acres, and only has plans to grow in the future. Men I served with in Japan would boast about the accommodations, how nice they were, how new. I would swiftly drop kick them over hacksaw ridge, but that’s beside the point. On this Independence Day, when I’d sold my soul to a Korean ‘Agma’ and all I wanted was a little taste of home, I sucked it up.

I didn't want to go to Humphreys, but I knew very little about the installations in the area and frankly...no one would look at me twice on a base that size. So I caught a bus south from Seoul, and dozed against the window. I wasn't the only one on the bus going to the camp so it was easy to go unnoticed in a line on new recruits. Thankfully, no one bothered to ask where my luggage was for someone fresh from america, and they glossed right over my rank. The unintentional disrespect pricked at the back of my neck, but I said nothing. I outranked everyone here, or at least...I used to. Your status follows you even into retirement, but what would be the benefit of making a spectacle of myself here? I'd announce, be saluted, go about my day, and then someone would inevitably ask where I'd been, why I didn't reelist like I said I would, why the legendary 'Baroness' was groveling for scraps in Korea, and those were questions I was nowhere near able to answer without resorting to violence first. So I stayed quiet, and allowed the guardsmen to lead the group of privates in. The commissary was brand new, which was nice, and it came fully equipped with the military comfort basics: Burger King, Popeyes, Starbucks, and Pizza Hut. Not to mention the fancy schmancy BX, where Samsung was doing well for business. I swear they sold bigger TVs here than back home. But the auxiliaries were hosting a special cook out for the holiday, and that's what I came for. I doubt anyone got off work, but they got hot dogs, so where was the issue? Thankfully, as I slipped into the serving line, I was correct about being anonymous. The biggest base in the world was used to constantly new faces, and the ladies who ladled my plate full of potato salad and baked beans smiled at me warmly. 'Thank you for your service' they said, and my stomach twisted into a knot. I claimed a small table with only one chair so no one friendly could try and join me, and chowed down to my heart's content. It's true that fast food can kill you, but I don't think anything could give you a sweeter death. I probably looked feral, shoveling the food into my face, but when you live off of ramen for a month, you get a manners pass. I couldn't order in Korean, so how was I supposed to go to a restaurant? It wasn't like anyone was itching to take me out to eat. Moody Kyungsoo barely looked at me, even when Bacon dragged them over, Chief Soo was busy trying to fire me, and CEO Kim wasn't exactly the 'take-you-out-for-Korean-BBQ' type of man. I supposed I could have asked Tala, but I bothered her enough as it was. I was just starting to feel comfortable again when my phone rang. With a groan, I licked hot sauce off my fingers and answered without looking. “Ms. Hasagawa.” The falsely chipper voice of CEO Kim made me shudder. “Yes, sir?” I replied, not even trying to pretend I knew how to say that in Korean. “After looking at the numbers, I would like to congratulate you on your success in our Vehicle Organization Unit.” “You mean the parking lot?” I snorted. “You have turned it into one of our most productive areas.” “Well look at me…” It was like, no matter what I meant to say, sarcasm just fell out of my mouth. “Your performance has been noted by your supervisor as well.” He added, and I paused at that. “You mean Chief Soo?” “Yes.” “I highly doubt he has anything nice to say on my behalf.” I grumbled, annoyed that I’d gone a solid fifteen minutes without thinking about my terrible boss only for him to be brought back up again. “Luckily I have him right here.” There was the district sound of the phone being switched to speaker, and I could feel the uncomfortable silence between an employee who didn’t want to say something and a boss who was making him. “Hasagawa.” He pretty much barked, and I had to pull the phone away from my ear for a second. “What?” I grunted, eyeing my burger that was getting colder by the minute. “Tell her about the trip, Laon.” I heard CEO Kim in the background dictating. “As you know, SM encouraged unity and happiness in its employees, and strives to make the workplace a desirable and productive place to work.” “Ahuh?” I slurred. “And every year, SM encourages its employees to attend their yearly team building retreat, this year held on Jeju island.” “Ahuh?” “And this year, your presence is requested.” His words were clipped short. “Ahuh…” “What else do you have to tell her, Laon?” CEO Kim asked, and I knew exactly what kind of face he was making behind Chief Soo’s back. “And…you’re being promoted.” I heard the sound of a whiny child in his voice, and I could have laughed. “Ahuh.” I said instead. “Will you stop your idiotic gawking and speak!” Chief Soo snapped. “Laon…” CEO Kim warned pleasantly. I could get used to having him around if he was able to keep Chief Soo on a leash like this. After the sound of an angry throat being cleared, Chief Soo gave me my second victory. “Harper Hasagawa, you are now assigned to the security detail of EXO. You will attend the retreat with them, and participate with the other officers.” “What happened to me being a stubborn, stupid American?” I chided with a grin. There was another pause, and I could tell he was working up to it, the words nauseating him. But CEO Kim was staring, so there was no way he couldn’t.

“I misspoke. I apologize.”

~

The SMTown retreat was all anyone was talking about once I made it back to Seoul. Tala nearly tackled me in the hallway outside my room. "Did you hear?!" She exclaimed as I pushed my door open. "Hear what?" I pretended, dropping my keys on the bed. She quickly slipped off her shoes while I didn't bother. That was something I was never going to get used to. It was that way in Japan as well, and Kojima never passed up an opportunity to remind me how uncivilized I was. "The retreat!" she squealed and jumped on my bed before I could sit down. She was moving too fast for my stuffed self, so I gave up and opted for the desk chair. "We're all going on the retreat!" "So?" I asked, picking up the closest book to me and staring at the page. It was a Korean-English dictionary, somewhere in the 'S'. When I didn't feed into her excitement, Tala started to pout, and crossed her arms with a huff. "You're going too." She said snobbishly. "Your name was on list with rest of security." "Probably need someone to park the cars." I snickered, and then actually did grin at myself. "Oh come on!" She cried, throwing her hands in the air. "This what you wanted! You get to work with EXO!" She grabbed for the book, but I pulled it from her reach. It was unavoidable now, and she knew she had my attention. "What are you going to do about Chief Soo?"  I would call it a moment of weakness, when I told Tala nearly everything about myself , but you can't really call it a moment when you do it over and over again. She was truly my only companion in the whole country, and I overused the ear she offered. So I mumbled and grumbled, tossing the prop book aside. What was I going to do about Chief Soo? I was up by one, but knowing him, this retreat that was not his idea was going to be the perfect place for him to get back on top. "What even is this trip?" I asked, and Tala smirked, knowing she'd hooked me. She liked being my source of information. "It's a workshop for employees. Trainees work on debut, idols work on comebacks, and security..." She wagged her eyebrows at me, "work on teamwork." "You're kidding me." I deadpanned, not interested in the slightest. "No! There's a competition every year to see who's the best!" Her face lit up suddenly, and she jumped off the bed and grabbed my arm. "You need to win it! Then Chief Soo can't touch you!" The taste of victory brought with it a little melancholy. If I won this competition, my war with Chief Soo would be all but over. He couldn't fire me if I had the backing of the company. Then again...how were the rest of the guards going to feel if I swooped in and destroyed them? Been there, done that. I shook Tala off my arm, but nodded to her. "When do we leave?" The company hadn't given me a whole lot of notice. It was tuesday and we were set to leave next monday. I had less than a week to get back into the kind of shape that would win me the contest. And then there was the fact that I didn't know what kind of contest it was. If it was a kimchi eating contest, I was out of luck. And they didn't use firearms in this country, so I was up a creek there too. My hand to hand was decent, but I feel like the guards at LAX were more surprised than outmanned. Not to sell myself short or anything. This was the land of Taekwondo, after all. Is that racist? I turned the parking lot into a workout center by doing pull ups on the doorframe of the shack, chair dips on the bumper of the vans, and making the managers park in a relay that I could run when no one was looking. It felt good stretching my legs again, oddly satisfying even. The day after the rescue, I felt every single punch and kick in my bones; I was sore for days. But exercising now, I could get back to that dreaded six minute mile Kojima had teased me about. The trainee dorms were buzzing come monday. Boys and girls last minute packing, darting from room to room, borrowing clothes, making promises to bunk together. It felt like I was going off to summer camp with a gaggle of my closest strangers. Over the last month, and no doubt due to Tala's nagging, the rest of the kids had warmed up to me. To my surprise, only one of them had been lying about being able to speak English. The rest truly struggled with the language, and I won them over by helping them with their studies. SM was outdoing itself this year, or so I was told. In addition to the groups like NCT, EXO, SNSD, Red Velvet, and more, CEO Kim also wanted to take actors, models, MCs, and others from his sub-labels SM C&C and Mystic Entertainment. The company would be taking almost 900 employees to this resort on Jeju Island, and I was already feeling cramped as we staged to leave for the airport. The flight to the island was a whopping hour and fifteen minutes, and from there, they would cart us to the resort by bus, another thirty minutes. A small part of my hoped that Tala would just adopt me without asking, and I wouldn't have to awkwardly follow along behind the cliques of girls and glitter... but it didn't happen. She disappeared with some of the girls from a group called Red Velvet and I was left with my stupid ruck, standing by the bus, hoping someone would come save me. 

~

The resort was stunning. Halfway between the beach and nothing, uniquely modern houses sat clustered around long day pools. Each house had many rooms, and their own porches that sported a hot tub for each. A volleyball court could be seen a hundred yards away where the water lapped at the sand, bordered by coconut trees and palm branches. It was the epitome of island life. At the far end of the resort, a large recreational building had been prepped to house a thousand dancing teenagers. "Harper came!" Baekhyun grinned from ear to ear as EXO unloaded from their bus. "Since when are you calling girls by their first names?" Junmyeon chided from behind him. "Since she told me to! I'm gonna go say hi!" And before anyone could stop him, the leader of the beagle line was off and all smiles. Kyungsoo watched forlornly as Harper's face, which had been a mask of boredom, blossomed into relief when Baek romped up to her. Kyungsoo had to admit that his brother had that effect on people, but he thought it would be really great if Baek didn't use it on her. A month had gone by, and she was still here. All the bets that had been made in regard to her stay were past paid. No one put money on the fact that she would stay longer than a month, let alone a week as a glorified valet. Junmyeon, not in so many words, had told everyone else about the war Chief Soo declared on her, and Kyungsoo couldn't fathom the depths of her hardheadedness if the only reason she was staying was to win. So he did his best to ignore her, and tried not to be associated with her. See, at SM there were no secrets. Everyone knew everything. But it was how each person used the information that differed. People knew she and Kyungsoo has history, but up until now, no one had decided to use that against him. It was just how the game was played here. He hated it, but there was nothing he could do but play.

Baekhyun grabbed Harper's hand and pulled her over to EXO. "Guys! Harper is going to eat lunch with us!" He declared, and Kyungsoo wondered how they communicated enough for him to even ask. She seemed to concentrate on the words that were being tossed around as the rest of the boys commented on one thing or another about the resort. It was a test really, to see how much she'd learned. After a moment, all eyes went to her and she visibly gulped. As smug as he wanted to be in that moment, when her eyes met his, he felt like he should throw her a bone. "B-Beautiful." She stumbled over the pronunciation, but the outcome was clear: she passed. At least she knew what they were talking about. Suho seemed much more proud than he should of as he patted her on the shoulder and gestured towards the rec building. A sign of good faith that he wouldn't lead her straight into the ocean. "How long are you gonna act like this?" Kyungsoo turned to Jongin, who was looking at him intently. The other guys started towards the cafeteria with Harper safely at their center. "Act like what?" Kyungsoo said defensively, hanging back from the group. "Like she's the worst thing in the world." Jongin watched as the other members took turns saying something to Harper and giggling when she barely understood. "I'm not." Kyungsoo snapped and readjusted his bag on his shoulder, unhappily defensive. "You refuse to breathe the same air as her most of the time." Jongin pointed out, and started behind the boys. Kyungsoo bit his lip, hating that his position on the matter was pitting him against his brothers. He hurried to Jongin's side and hissed into his ear, "She reckless." Hoping maybe he would sympathize. "And?" Jongin asked instead, and Kyungsoo sighed. He really was alone with the voice of reason. "She should have left when she had the chance." He grunted. But Jongin had the false sense of optimism that most maknae had. "You know...I kind of admire her courage." He commented, not leaving Kyungsoo for his objections. "It's not courage, it's stupidity." D.O. murmured, but Jongin grinned at him. "I don't know...standing up for what you believe in, keeping your word, staying reliable...those seem like pretty respectable traits, don't you think?" Kyungsoo grabbed Jongin's wrist and stopped him. With a little more space between them and those who could overhead, Kyungsoo asked, "What are you getting at?" Jongin wasn't usually one for confrontation, but from the outside, Kyungsoo knew he was being the aggressive one. "I'm just saying," He shrugged, letting Kyungsoo keep his hand, "she's not going anywhere. The least you could do is make peace." Kyungsoo let him go, and Jongin patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Besides hyung, Baekhyun likes her." And with that, he joined the group as they entered the rec center. ~ CEO Kim proudly stood before his empire, the massive crowd of celebrities he'd assembled that all carried his name. They were the biggest company in Korea, the one everyone wanted to be a part of, and he was the head of it all. The cafeteria was as big as a basketball court, with round tables that could seat whole groups (maybe not NCT). Everyone watched as he stood at the head of the room and addressed them. He welcomed them to the SMTown Retreat, and gave them all the basic information they would need. The managers were handling most everything. In fact, CEO Kim wasn't even staying. He'd flown in solely to give this speech, and to make sure his head of security had fallen in line. It may have been an oversight on his part, although he would never admit it, that he didn't realize sooner Harper hadn't been put into the correct rotation. But he wasn't there to cater to the whims of one american, even if he put her there especially. Besides, the situation had been rectified, and he had no doubt that she would be able to withstand whatever backlash Laon had planned for her.

~

Kyungsoo watched Baekhyun lead Harper through the line, pointing out what things were, talking like a motorboat in Korean, there was no way she could keep up. Deep down, he knew Jongin was right, that he should suck it up and keep the peace. She'd saved their lives after all. He shouldn't forget that. But it wasn't enough to make him get up and go translate for them. Baek could make a fool of himself if he wanted. It wasn't too much for Harper to slap him upside the head like she had in LA. When Baek finally lead her back to their table, Kyungsoo caught her shooting glances in his direction, like she was waiting for him to object to her sitting with them. If he was anything, he was competitive, and maybe that would be the best way they could survive this. So when she looked to him, he pulled the chair out for her to sit. Daring her to sit. Everyone else might have missed it, but a small smirk told him she saw his play, and she sat down. No one said anything for a moment. That's not true, Baekhyun never stopped talking, but they were all skilled at tuning him out. Harper kept her eyes locked on Kyungsoo's, playing chicken to see who would look away first. "Ooooh Harper, I know he's pretty but you really shouldn't stare!" Baekhyun cried, and she cracked a smile. Kyungsoo looked away, and she won. Both the staring contest, and his compromise. They'd find a way to live with each other. It wasn't like they had much choice. The rest of the boys joined in the teasing, and pretty soon, it was comfortable. They ate their lunch and talked about the sessions they had planned for the afternoon. There was no time to stop and sight see. It was straight to the grind day one. They could see the beach later.

[shinobi-imagines]

what’s wrong with k-pop

I bet some of you following my blog are currently avid K-Pop fans so perhaps some of you may have heard the news of Kim Jonghyun (김종현) of SHINee and his suicide. Although I don’t really consider myself a fan of K-Pop, I did have my time and SHINee was probably my favorite band back then. So this tragedy punches a hole in a part of my childhood. 

Let begin with why I stopped being a connoisseur of K-Pop. It has a lot to do with what I saw from it as a culture. At the core, it was the toxicity on both the fans and idols created by these big entertainment companies. While I cannot speak for why Kim committed suicide, it’s still one of those things that really makes me think about the life of an idol. Their lives from the moment they step into an entertainment company (ex. SM, YG, JYP), they are controlled and restricted of all sorts of freedom. Popular bands like BTS are not allowed to date or even remotely show any sort of romantic interest. 

So why is that? Why are they so controlled? I believe it is for two reasons. One, the companies are selling a fantasy that needs to be perpetuated by the youth. The reason why most idols, especially rising ones, are not allowed to date is to keep the fans happy and to keep idols as far away from celebrity drama as possible. Two, hardcore fans are crazy. You yourself may consider yourself a crazed fan so you may be offended, but I am talking about a whole different level of insane. I have had friends who have been TRACKED down to be threatened by fans for a silly picture (please do not ask for details on this just believe that it is true). If you follow the K-Pop community you’ll know that members from EXO, I.O.I., EXID have been physically violated and had their privacy invaded (like setting up cameras in bathrooms). I thought it was weird enough that fans in Korea actually refer to male members as “우리 오빠 (oori oppa)" in casual conversations which translates to “our big brother (오빠/oppa being an endearing honorific and not some 1984 reference).” What do you mean they’re yours? These people who have been held as the epitome of Korean culture pay the price of losing their own identities and are manufactured by the companies to be sold.

Then again, the case can be argued for various bands. BigBang, for instance, is pretty laissez fare. Scandal after scandal, drug abuse after another. Well, there is a generational gap that must be taken into consideration. BigBang has been around for years and K-Pop was also not as sensational on a global scale. Same goes for 동방신기 (TVXQ), Highlight– formerly known as BEAST, SNSD, and SuperJunior. All these groups have been highly successful, but now we hear news of them dating and basically live life as they should have been. Also, their fans have aged with them. While this is only a personal theory, I can’t help but think that there is truth in an overarching maturity. Now I am not blaming the fans. Not at all. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t fantasized about going on a date with T.O.P. The people to blame are the companies that are taking away basic right from idols and making susceptible little girls (like me) fall for these people. YG’s WINNER confesses that their band wasn’t even allowed to leisurely travel or even drive a car. Now the case can be made that the company wants to protect their members, but South Korea is a democratic society where freedom should be both a privilege and a priority. Yet, that does not stand true in many situations even outside of K-Pop. Unfortunately, that itself is a whole other story, but do feel free to ask me questions about my perspective on life in Korea.

These idols themselves are direct representations of the darkest parts of a capitalist society where it’s money over anything else. That notion stems from a lot of different things much of which is not only embedded into our society but also our history of continuous oppression immediately followed by rapid development. Essentially, we have been taught that doing what you want often has too many consequences. While that is a lesson we all eventually learn in life, Korean idols and Korea, in general, have taken it to another extreme. In the instance of K-Pop stars, they are often underpaid and strictly monitored on all fronts (from the companies to the fans to even the haters). Again, I would like to reiterate that this may have nothing to with Kim Jonghyun’s suicide, but please do not just blindly mourn the death of a talented man. Rather think about all his accomplishments and what it must have taken to get to where he once stood. Remember, life as an idol is far from perfect and that many of them have laid down so much for you and me, their beloved fans. Some idols have gone from extreme poverty in a society that is already hard enough to succeed in, to a position where they can no longer move freely as an exchange for THEIR OWN DREAM. Please do not ruin their dreams to perform and produce music. After all, they are humans and not gods. 

김종현씨, 소고많았어요. 이제 편하게 쉬세요. 

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON OLYMPUS’ MAIN RAP ROMAN…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 27 DEBUT AGE: 21 SKILL POINTS: 00 VOCAL | 08 DANCE | 19 RAP | 13 PERFORMANCE SECONDARY SKILLS: Music production

INTERVIEW

growing up in the limelight with his parents had made roman immune to the spotlight, even if that meant living a life that wasn’t pleasing all the time. he had a large amount of exposure to a volatile entertainment industry resulted in the development of an open mind for roman. he heard them all; scandals, rumors of all sorts, the variety vast and wide that ranges from taboo subjects to mere gossip. as such, he isn’t one to be close-minded and is a laid back guy who seemed way too deep for the company’s liking - he was smart and picked up on anything they threw at him. he’s quite tolerant and accepting of things, most of the time. some say he’s too nonchalant for his own good, never truly caring about things that seem to be a big deal to other’s. thankfully, that trait doesn’t follow him on stage or in front of fans. it’s like a switch that can easily be turned on and off for him. he’s clearly not the same seventeen year old boy who debuted as the silent guy, a brand he was given the moment he entered the company - thinking it would fit along with the bad boy vibe he had going on. eyes were too sharp, tongue too quick for his own good and he was molded into something he wasn’t from the very beginning. a pretty face that seemed almost too perfect; he was the new pawn in the companies hand that could be easily used.

he was no different from his onstage persona. tattoos that told a story, the story of the freedom roman once had before he signed the contract and joined olympus. the silver vapor that was being held between his lips were being sucked on like it was his favorite lollipop, the smoke soon escaping from his lungs and kissed the dark room of midas media. a poet at work, alone in the studios trying to create a masterpiece that wouldn’t be heard by the fans. he had little to no creative control over his music. music was his life, just like art. it was art after all in his eyes, an unfinished piece that could live on for as long as he lived a life as an idol. the vibe he had carried on his shoulders for a year now was like a clear blue sky, cloudless with no birds in sight, surrounded by the sea that could swallow you whole if you’d allow it.

BIOGRAPHY

he is born as the first child in his family. the warm winds of the beach that he grew to love so much, roman was happy to have lived in a city that burst with life at every turn. growing up in the limelight wasn’t always fun. he didn’t have a normal childhood, prying eyes followed his every move and he was afraid half the time. his parents were actors of their time, always treating him right; they love him and they encourage him to try his hardest, do things earlier than other kids, be the best he can be, love himself. he listened well, trying to be the best son he could be while watching over his image at a young age. seeing the camera’s flash in his eyes were traumatizing for a young soul like his, but he lived; roman is content with his life.

he is fifteen years old when he welcomes a baby brother into the family. roman remembers the first time his baby brother’s eyes opened, and it was to look at roman himself, the brown bulbs shining bright enough to light up the whole room that was already so bright, the white walls gleaming with life. he remembers how he didn’t understand why he was crying when he felt little fingers wrap around bigger ones. his baby brother is his life, his soul, and roman knows that he will protect him, always, no matter how hard it is and how much energy and faith it takes. he loves the little one. he wanted to brag about the new life that graced his family, telling all his friends he has a new sibling, bringing pictures of him for show and tell, and making sure the whole class knows that he is going to be the best big brother in the world. as a growing boy, roman is content with his life.

by this time, roman is about to go to high school, a place that brought fear to his life. it was change, being homeschooled for most of his life was something he grew immune to, so why the sudden decision to place him in a public school when he came of age? the whole world knew what roman was doing and where he was at all times. hating how his brother had to be born into a world that didn’t know the word privacy, a world that would do anything for money or a picture that would sell and turn into hundreds of dollars. it seemed like too much for a young soul to handle and with his parents forcing the two brothers into a semi-normal lifestyle, it added some kind of stress on his shoulders. he’d give anything just to live a normal life for an hour or two, but when the next year comes and he’s stepping into high school, he’s realizing that the world is going to go on without him if he doesn’t bother keeping up. as a pre-teen, roman is uncomfortable with the change in his life.

growing up in Australia had put a damper on his true roots, his parents only mentioning a few relatives that lived in korea. they had always thought of moving back when the boys had grown up to the point where they could fully understand what was going on. roman of course, was not happy with that kind of decision, but when was he ever happy with how his parents pushed him into places he wasn’t comfortable in? australia was his home, he spent sixteen years there and had just started his second year of high school. why the sudden change when he finally started growing comfortable with his new surroundings? that all meant learning a new language and trying to adapt to a new culture that was completely different from what he was used to. roman was always good at picking up languages; that didn’t mean he was some kind of a master at it. he had found his love for writing, something that helped him stay pretty sane when he kept getting pulled in different directions. it was an art, a way to truly express yourself with. before the big move, his mother had paid a private tutor to come by at the house every day to teach the two boys the new language they would be speaking for the rest of their life. roman did struggle, for months and he grew frustrated, wanting to give up but that wasn’t an option when boxes were being placed in his room. that’s when reality had stricken him that this was really happening; he was moving to a whole new country and making a new life for himself, again. as a teenager, roman is confused about his life decisions.

after studying for a year and a half and grasping a good chunk of the language, it was time for roman and his family to move to his father’s hometown, Apgujeong-dong. growing up in a foreign country as an international student was relatively difficult, being mocked for his thick accent and lack of self-awareness for how things worked, he had a tough start for a while. he had to develop an open-mind and became more tolerant and patient towards others and himself, not being quick to judge them at first glance. once he became accustomed to his surroundings, roman spent most of his free time as a teenager in his room trying to improve his writing, never wanting to give up on such a part of his life that seemed to be the only thing that wasn’t taken away from him. he even wrote a few songs for the school band, changing up the words a bit to make it less depressing and more satisfying to the ear. his love for music had only grown from there, the culture was fascinating, the life as an idol was interesting and it made him look into it. the reality of it wasn’t all that nice, the grueling hours spent trying to perfect yourself was too much for his dark orbs to handle but he couldn’t stop watching. taking such a chance in career seemed too risky to his parents, but with a lot of begging and extra work around the house, roman had convinced his parents to allow him to audition for midas media. as a young adult, roman is in a stressful state of life.

roman wanted to try it all, singing, rapping, and even dabbling a bit in dancing to give him more exposure to it. deciding to practice his dancing more than anything else at the moment, roman had spent hours alone in his room just learning different routines and even joined a dance class so he could properly know the basic and not look like a fool in front of the judges. the poetry he wrote on a daily basis had turned into songs he wanted to sing for himself, a story that only he could tell best with his own mouth. his parents finally cracked and scheduled him to be in vocal lessons for a few months just to get a grasp for different techniques and even how to breathe correctly. he waited two months until the company had posted the schedule for their auditions and he wasted no time filling out his information to get a spot. to say he was extremely nervous the day of was an understanding, using those two months to work his ass off was worth it and he went in with confidence; giving it his all.

roman had passed and became a trainee at 17, being told that it would take him awhile to actually debut due to the fact that he had to train harder to balance out his vocal points, make his abilities a bit more stronger and polish up his dancing. he felt very alone in the world without his family around. he had to be outgoing no matter what and make friends that he could stay with during his trainee days, but as time would tell they were all fishing for some sort of way to one-up each other, while the genuine ones would crack under pressure and leave the idol life either for good or until they were mentally ready to play the game. his parents already had high expectations for him, wanting nothing more than a successful son in the same industry as them. he was afraid to fail, he had already switched his game plan in life - his whole career path changed pry to a simple thing. he had no choice but to work hard for his spot, letting the company see that he’s not just another handsome face they can push to side and use whenever they could.

after countless breakdowns and bruised up legs, roman had trained for four years, it had seemed unfair to those who have been training longer than him, accusing him of using the power his family had to bribe the company into placing him into a group that was deemed for success with how determined they were. roman had to ignore the smart remarks and hateful comments he got, if living as an idol would be like this - he better build a thick skin now before it’s too late. debuting at twenty-one, half of his youthful years were spent in the company building trying to create the perfect idol that didn’t seem to lack in any area, but nobody is perfect and neither is roman. he was given the lead vocalist position in olympus once he shown enough improvement over the years, the title he would take pride in and hold onto it for dear life. all his hard work didn’t go to waste, he made his parents proud and for the first time in years, he had felt like he finally did something right for once. as an idol, roman is in a never-ending dream.

[deokkis]

kr:/ insecurities & training

what kind of classes did you attend while training under your chosen company?

From what I have heard since I am originally apart of Yuehua Entertainment, some of our training and classes were different compared to other companies. Although we would have the basic classes like dance, singing, rapping but we would have other classes like Chinese, Acting and even some tailored to the trainees who want to go down the variety field

was there someone during your training that made it difficult for you to believe yourself? additionally, was there someone who gave you more courage and emotional support to continue?

During my training period, I’m thankful to say that there was never that moment. I'm lucky my family was beside me every step of the way, through the good times and bad. However, I think the one person I would love to thank is my older brother. Not only do we share a strong bond, but he also was an idol for some time. So it was easy for him to show me the ropes and encourage me that I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for.

what were your training days usually like? did you ever have any hardship during such times?

Our trainee days were very long. The days would be anywhere from 14-16 hours a day, 6 days a week. We would also have weekly, monthly, seasonally, half-year and annual evaluations and tests: and if you didn't pass there would be a chance of you failing the whole program. One hardship that I remember is being able to properly control my vocals. Since I had surgery on my lymph nodes, I have been more prone to getting sick. So, I had to be very cautious of my health, and no matter how many precautions I would take, I did occasionally end up sick and had to miss a few days of training. OH we had to weigh ourselves before and after every single meal was tiring too.

were you someone who was rated high during evaluation periods?

If we’re being honest, I have to say yes. In fact, I was usually in the TOP 3 trainees. Since I took dance lessons prior to joining the company, it was easy for me to pick up on dancing. Then singing came naturally to me. also, I was around many different Chinese trainees, so I was always practicing the language. 

what is one of the most important things you learned during your training time?

Never give up and that not all criticism is bad. It can be used to help encourage you, and show you how to improve yourself to be the better version of yourself. 

do you wish that there was something someone had told you during your pre-debut days?

Just because you’re done training and you made your debut, doesn’t MEAN you will get more sleep. In fact, you will have to work even harder.

did you ever feel like giving up during the hardest points in your training? what kept you going?

All the time. It was so easy to simply say “i’m done” and never come back. Leave and start a happy life as a typical highschooler. Though the one thing that kept me going was the fact that I promise my parents that I would debut, and make them proud.. and here I am, standing on a stage! 

did your school friends and family know about your training? were they supportive, or did they further your insecurities to keep going?

Seeing as how I went to Hanlim Multi Arts School, there was a lot of trainees and even idols that had debuted! My friends offered me their guidance, encouragement and even would watch the different choreographies I had to learn and help me figure out what needs to work on! 

what is one healthy thing, and one un-healthy thing you learned during training?

I learned that you must have a healthy balance between training and personal life. You might be the best if you train consistently without breaks but your overall mental health will be compensated, so our CEO encouraged us to go out and get some exposure instead of being locked in the company. Something unhealthy I learned was you should not skip your meals to meat a certain weight... instead exercise and tone yourself so that you can lose the weight and build muscle in the process.

do you tend to be confident or are you someone who easily doubts themselves? how has that tendency influenced your decision making?

This is a funny question. To most people, I come off as confident, bubbly and happy-go-lucky.  I know my strengths, my weakness, what makes me shine, and what dims that light. However,  behind the camera and with my close friends I am extremely insecure. For example, I never liked my lips, my hands are too short and stubby, I can't reach a certain key in some songs so I have to take it down a key or an octave...and the list goes on and on. 

when the announcement of your debut came about, what were the reactions mostly like? or did you not feel the need to read them?

The reactions for my debut were... mixed. There was a lot of people who were happy for me and thought that I deserved to be there with the other girls. How I was a well-rounded idol who could adapt to any concept and task.  Yet at the sam time, there were quite a few people thought I was simply useless. That the only reason I got a spot in the final lineup, was because of the screen time I got. Or how the only thing I can really do is make weird sounds with my lips since my vocals aren’t the best. I'm guilty to say that I did, in fact, read them, I couldn’t help it... I wanted to know what people thought of me...and to this day...I still do. 

are you usually the kind to go reading articles and their comments about you and/or your group?

As of recently, I try to stay away from articles and comments because I know some of them won’t be the nicest, and I don’t need that negativity in my life.

have you ever read bad comments about yourself that made you feel bad?

I would be lying if I said no. I read them and for sure hid under my bed and spent the night crying. Just like everyone, I’m not perfect and want to know what people are saying about me: if it’s true or not.

what would be something you would want to tell the anonymous writer?

please be careful with your words. We idols aren’t superior or indestructible. We’re human too, and we have feelings. 

has there ever been a moment where you did something that brought bad criticism your way and you felt it was well deserved?

Sadly, not that I can think of. 

just like the question above, has there ever been something good that you have done, but many only took it the wrong way and criticized your the wrong way?

Truthfully speaking, I don’t think so. Yuehua is normally on top of articles before we can find out sometimes. 

what is something you’d want to tell those training to be idols surrounding harsh criticism that might come their way once they debut? additionally, do you wish to give them words of strength?

No matter where you are in life, there will always be criticism. It could something small like how you brush your hair, to how you sit, to even how you look and act. Although it can hurt, and make you feel like you’re alone...that’s not the case. They’re talking because they’re not only jealous of you, they are trying to make themselves feel better about their life. 

are you the type to feel hurt or understand where the criticism is coming from, even if unfair?

Sadly, Yes. 

when you come across any bad articles of yourself, is your first instinct to ignore them or read them?

My first intention is to read them. If I can see it, that means my parents can see it too, and I want to make sure it’s nothing bad that could hurt them. 

what is something you do that makes all your insecurities go away, if only for a little while?

I sleep and eat, I sometimes go for a nice walk tas well to clear my head. 

has there been a time where your company spoke out towards comments that were meant to fuel your insecurities? if so, did you feel like that helped or made you feel worse?

I haven’t been in this position just yet, so I can’t really give a clear answer. 

[monikaleeminho-blog]

Lee Min Ho for @Star1 Magazine no.62 May 2017 Issue "Just as it is, Today and Always..Lee Min Ho's Day" Interview - 27.04.2017 When you live by just closing your eyes, and or lean against the wall. Is this an appearance of an artist that just have natural talent in modeling, posing and taking photos? Lee Min Ho has photographs and pictures taken with @Star1 Magazine ahead of his upcoming enlistment. Perhaps it's not exaggerating that every time he change and wear any clothes, it looks perfect. And every time the camera took any angle of him, it became a pictorial.Lee Min Ho once said "I want to be able to stay in people's memories for a long time since this is the last pictorial that i'll take before the upcoming enlistment.".However, we are all sure that it's unlikely for his delightful laugh would be forgotten during his 2-years absence. @Star1 Magazine: "Your upcoming enlistment is approaching fast. Tell us, what are you doing lately? "Lee Min Ho: "After finishing SBS 'Legend of the Blue Sea'. I am still in a process on digesting and processing this upcoming enlistment news, and currently waiting while preparing myself." @Star1 Magazine: "We all and yourself already had a feeling that you know you'll enlist on the first half 2017?" Lee Min Ho: "At first, i thought that i would not mind. Of course i've seen a lot of people crying, feeling lost when someone they're close with enlisting to the military service. At first, i thought i could be cool, and enlisting honestly. However, then i feel that there are a lot of things that i have not done. Rather than the enlisting to the army part, i feel pity and bad for already passing my 20s? I feel more sorry in aging, that now i am already entering my 30s. I actually feel more sorry for my work (in acting) since honestly, i still had so many things i wanted to do..hahaha.." @Star1 Magazine: "Over than years has passed since your debut, and perhaps it's not an exaggeration to say that you work relentlessly 'like a bull' on your 20s. What's with the previous opinion? (saying that he still had many things he wanted to do)" Lee Min Ho: "At first, i thought that i've come this far and sometimes, i wanted to rest. I was wondering too i could still be a good actor in my life in my 30s if i didn't charge-ahead properly now. In my opinion, it seems natural that through enlisting in the military, it will be a wonderful new personal experience. With all due respect, i do feel that i work hard for the past 10 years and it became natural, but i think that Lee Min Ho is losing himself."

@Star1 Magazine: "Can you elaborate more on how Lee Min Ho personally lost himself." Lee Min Ho: "Somehow, there were points in my life when i work as an actor, controlling my private life and personal life. I think that during that time, i have forgotten much of my past. When i enlist, I wonder if i can still have some time to think about the meaning of life, and values of the future." @Star1 Magazine: "You enlist a little bit late." Lee Min Ho: "As you perhaps already know, i was hurt in a traffic accident when i was 20 years old. It was very hard for myself during that time, it was hard for me going from 21 to 22 years old. I thought at that time that i should probably go enlisting to the army since work was not well either due to my physical issue. However, my parents and the company think that it is not a good idea, which left me to not going even when i wanted to." @Star1 Magazine: "But instead, you work hard and became the current Lee Min Ho" Lee Min Ho: "If i went enlisting,i won't be able to take the 'Boys Over Flowers' project or perhaps all of my fans won't ever heard of that drama. On the other hand, i think i couldn't have been happier on how i spent my 20s. It was a good choice to not go early. I have been doing dramas for over 10 years. There's not a single regret in it. I was very happy as well that i got a lot of love overseas and was in the middle of a good generation. I thought, that i also made my own contribution in promoting Korean Wave Culture." @Star1 Magazine: "Lee Min Ho has been known to accept many drama projects, but are you still thirsty for movies especially Korean? It has been put on hold since 'Gangnam 1970'." Lee Min Ho: "Of course, absolutely. My initial goal is to actually do one movie before enlisting, but unfortunately the timing was hard due to 'Legend of the Blue Sea' shooting later than how it was originally planned. However, since my early 20s, i have vaguely thought "I wanted to film a movie when i already aged", so i am also looking for it. On the other hand, i do not think it would be right either to make a lot of movies when the weight of a Lee Min Ho as a human being and a man, and the deep feelings of being an actor could be cultivated more. Well, after all i am a greedy person and i wanted to work with various genres, and various directors." @Star1 Magazine: "For now, do you have any kind of genre of movies that you would like to appear in in the future?" Lee Min Ho: "I wanted to try genres such like '007 Series' (James Bond) and perhaps 'Mission Impossible'. A genre that could be aimed to the whole Asian market. I also would like to try mellow movies, just like what you can find sensitive Hong Kong movies. Anyway, i feel that i am also a generation which is in the middle of analog and digital. I still have memories of old analog way, a movie that contains social values, values that are appropriate to the generation. For example, the MBC Documentary that i participated in, 'DMZ: The Wild', the documentary movie is something that reflects my thoughts, and deals with my areas of interest. I think it would be meaningful to be able to inform many people on my area of interest as an actor, exactly like Gong Yoo-sunbaenim (A Korean Actor) choosing to work in the film 'Silenced' in the past." @Star1 Magazine: "Now, we are curious on the daily life of actor Lee Min Ho." Lee Min Ho: "Nothing, i do nothing, Hahaha. It's actually a trouble/problem i think since i really do nothing. In the past, i always relentlessly in search of something, but now i did not to that. In the past, something always burned inside of me, a heat..but now there's no such thing. Now, i am in the middle of trying to find it again. Probably chronic fatigues could be a significant effect of doing nothing? Hahaha." @Star1 Magazine: "Do you have any favorite food?" Lee Min Ho: "Heol~ Isn't this a typical question? Well..i like 'Mom's Rice'. So therefore, my ideal type of woman is a woman who is good at cooking. Hahaha. My mother is a homebody person, and i plan to keep close, taking care of here for the rest of my life. Oh well, perhaps a woman that is close with her family and had a motherly figure would be good." @Star1 Magazine: "Another typical question then. For Lee Min Ho, what the secret of beauty?" Lee Min Ho: "Hahaha. I think, beauty is..there's nothing that you can actually do. Probably there's nothing more that you can do, even compared to an ordinary man. I think now there are a lot of people seems to be interested in beauty management in order to get more beautiful? I think we should just stick to the basics, even when it has been been said very often. Just use whatever you have, apply it well and erase it well.” @Star1 Magazine: "Do you personally enjoy going out, or travelling?" Lee Min Ho: "Of course there are some points of life when you just get tired, and leave your home. For example, i went somewhere, but i didn't like it when someone talk bad about it afterwards. With the vast development of SNS these days, it's already difficult for me to go anywhere without someone knowing, noticing or recognizing me, then taking photographs. Then sometimes, there are certain kinds of people who post here and there, producing useless words related to me. Of course, a big accident has not been happening, but to be honest i hate it, i consider it a headache when these kind of people who does not know me well did this." @Star1 Magazine: "We think that you have been living rather quietly for more than 10 years without any incident" Lee Min Ho: "Is that so. Hahaha. I consider myself to have lived comfortably then. So perhaps therefore, i have lost myself. My personality changed. At the beginning of my debut, i think that i shouldn't hide anything when i became famous. However, i gradually got stuck in a corner and my personality changed. It was really extroverted, and in many areas it became really conservative. Of course, i still have good relationship skills among people who i work with. However, i seems to be still a little bit conservative." @Star1 Magazine: "This is a year where a lot of juniors are born" Lee Min Ho: "If i was given a chance, i wanted to be a senior whom my junior that need help could depend on. In fact, i think about 80% of actors, idol and singers in entertainment industries seems to not start their career in a good environment. I think i did too. When you encounter something, of course you need a window where you can hear something that is objective and fair. There are a lot of cases when you had difficulties of making decisions too. I was still at my early 20s when i started my career and when i met young people these days, i told them those difficulties of mine." @Star1 Magazine: "Perhaps, would you like to try a challenge to live as a soldier, and not an actor?" Lee Min Ho: "I think regular life itself is already a great challenge, Hahaha. Perhaps because i never got up and and do not go roaming around late at night now, expect when i was still at school since i personally do not enjoy drinking. Even at home, i have a lot of things to do. Because those kind of work is nocturnal, where you wake up all night and when you arrive home, you're already exhausted to do anything." @Star1 Magazine: "What would you like to say to your fans in the counting days ahead?" Lee Min Ho: "I personally think that i still can't understand my fan's thoughts perfectly. I was once liking someone very much, but never been crazy. There's a celebrity i like in the past, but i don't have that kind of experience like what my fans did. I don't understand what i should do, so i don't think i had the right. I feel that there's a gap of course since you can't see each other for a while, of course i do feel sorry, since our hearts technically i believe are communicating well with each other. If we're faithful to each other, and keep being healthy, will time pass by real quick? I also consider this as a healing, and then coming back with a good work is another healing." Editor:Kim Doo Ri Interview Yun Ga Yi Photographer Kim Oi Mil Stylist Kim Ji Yeon, Kwon Soo Heon (EUPHORIA SEOUL) Hair Lim Jung Ho (Aura Beauty) Original Source: @Star1Magazine http://www.atstar1.com/view.php?uid=201704191557566310 Korean - English Translation: Monika Setiono