#bc according to all of them it's really clear who the side that is obviously telling the truth is

[miamignonette]

jackie taylor is truly the queen of comphet. like i think sometimes ppl call it comphet when any character who’s commonly headcanoned as sapphic shows any amount of interest in men bc they don’t want to consider that the character could be bi (see shauna and natalie), but though jackie is dating a man she really shows no care for him at all. it’s made very clear that she’s with jeff because she thinks she should be. the first time we see her in the show she’s having bad sex with him with a blank face and then standing in front of a mirror, staring at herself like she doesn’t know who she’s looking at, toying with the necklace she later gives to shauna. the night before she dies she confesses that she didn’t love him, she didn’t even LIKE him. but it makes sense for her to be with him, according to their social circles. the only instances of affection shared between them that we see is during the aforementioned bad sex, which was obviously a very one-sided thing, and at a party in front of the people who only know her reputation at school. jackie is a performer.

[seawitchkaraoke]

heads up, this is about The Trial everyone won’t shut up about, so skip if you don’t wanna hear it. not tagging bc i don’t want the fans of either side to come running at me

i think y’all need to learn that sometimes things are simply unsatisfying and there are no good solutions and you simply will never know whether ‘‘the good ones’‘ won or not bc you do not know who “the good ones” are (or whether anyone is)

Like. Option 1: He abused her, she now owes him damages for writing about things that actually did happen -> objectively horrible if this is what happens I feel very sorry for her

Ooption 2: She abused him and if he’d lost he would have to keep sitting by while she tells everyone it was the other way around -> also objectively horrible and in this case i’d be glad he won, good for him

Option 3: they both hurt and abused each other, everyone is the worst, there are no innocents -> fuck it i guess, doesn’t matter who won

But like. None of us know the truth. The jury found it “more likely than not” that it’s something along the lines of option 2 (but this is a civil case so no “beyond a reasonable doubt” it’s just “more likely than not” aka like 51%) but they don’t know either. Presumably the two of them know. But idk man, they probably both do genuienly think of themselves as the victim, bc that is how real life abusers work, they usually don’t think of themselves as abusive (source: I’ve met abusers)

And everyone acting like they somehow know 100% what the actual truth is annoy me so much, shut up, you don’t know shit, none of us know. Yes that sucks! Yes that’s really uncomfortable! Yes it’s easier to take a side and simply Be Sure of what Real Justice would be! But you don’t know! I don’t know either! I really don’t like not knowing, I would love to be as certain as y’all are, but I simply do not know and I’m just gonna have to live with that. I highly doubt either of them has enough evidence that they’d win an actual “beyond reasonable doubt” abuse case with how close this civil one was.

Also no, it doesn’t set a legal precedent, that is not how legal precedents work.

And yes if this encourages abusers to file for defamation or discourages victims from speaking out that sucks but like. There was no winning here. That would have happened no matter what. If he lost there’d now be posts everywhere about how this discourages male victims from fighting back or whatever, there is no winning here.  Especially since again, we simply cannot know who the actual “villian” is.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: can you write headcanons for moriarty brothers meeting and having dinner with s/o's parents for the first time? and s/o's father is overprotective. thanks 🤍🙆🏻 |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1857

tw: mentions of toxic behavior in albert’s hcs

a/n: IM BACK AND THRIVING BBS!!! it’s so good to be back again to writing!!! hhh i’m so sorry if this is far from what you wanted but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!! lowkey went off the railings w this one so 👀 also if i missed any tags, please let me know!!!!!

william: 803 words

it had been you and your father since you were younger bc your mom was the “lucky” choice of some noble

but you wouldn’t have it any other way

you two are very close and everyone in the town knows

that, and that you both hate nobles

so it’s no surprise when the moriartys move into town, you’re both less than pleased

you always try your best to avoid them whenever they come into your town and your father always begs his friends to take the nobles as customers, despite the fact it could be good for business

but the town you lived in was particularly small and you did end up bumping into william

literally

some stupid man didn’t see you crossing the road and you were nearly crushed by the carriage if it hadn’t been for the hand that pulled at your wrist

“i swear people these days don’t know how to drive carriages.”

you don’t know who you were expecting

BUT ANYONE BUT A NOBLE

“are you alright?”

“i’m fine thank you—“

you’re absolutely flustered

how did i not know that this was a noble??? he smells so clean!

“i’ve got to be on my way now!” and you left william there with no explanation

but lil did you know he actually knew who you were

or to an extent, you weren’t as sneaky as you’d hoped you’d be

he saw you hiding in corners and alleyways every time you two accidentally made eye contact

and some of the townsfolk actually told him a little about you and your father so he understood why you weren’t too welcoming

but to take great lengths to avoid him??? he is very intrigued

so he starts off small, trying to send you a kind smile before you dart off behind a fruit stall

he really tries his best to get close to you and after a few weeks (and a few persuasive friends), he finally gets to hold a conversation with you

and boy does he fall FAST

it takes a while but you finally reciprocate his feelings and he thinks its smooth sailing from there right???

lmao everyone knows your father is literally the most intimidating looking man that could ever walk the earth

if they didn’t know him personally, they would be afraid of getting curb stomped 🤠

i mean,, he’s a big softie but god forbid anyone even DARES to look at you in a romantic light

you warn william of this and he’s like “don’t worry love, it shouldn’t be too bad”

it is bad

even william has cold hands bc your father is giving him the dirtiest look

dinner isn’t even dinner it’s a grill with how much questions your father is asking him

it does NOT help that he’s a noble

“so,,, you’re a noble”

“your cooking is amazing sir”

your father leaves the table for a little bit and you can hear the quiet sigh of relief from william

“i’m sorry for my father”

“no, no,,, i just,,, your father’s really intimidating, isn’t he?”

you let out a chuckle and william relaxed, a soft smile gracing his lips

“he can be, but it’s just something he does.” you threw a wistful gaze at the door your father disappeared before.

“he’s just worried about you, i can see it. he doesn’t want you around people like me.” you grabbed his hand over the table and he gently squeezed your hand.

“if anything, if he’d give you a chance, he’d want me to be with you. noble or not”

you both continue to have a delightful conversation, your sweet laughs filling the room

however, you didn’t know your father was listening in on your conversation and he couldn’t agree more with william

your mother left with more than just a curt goodbye and unshed tears

she left you with a tear stained letter filled with sorrowful regrets and sincere apologies

he knew you would eventually grow up to be critical of the world and if you were to find out that your mother had left unwillingly, he was afraid that you would be too bitter towards the world

but as he hears your laugh and his worries are dulled down a little

he sees you smiling so happily at william and when he chances a glance at the noble beside you, his worries are completely erased

william’s looking at you the same way everyone swore he looked at your mother

it’s a gentle gaze filled with love and kindness, one that he knew could protect you and take care of you

your father hated nobles and hovered over you when it came to love

but he couldn’t help but hold back on questions when he came back and you instantly noticed that your father took a liking william

louis: 508 words

everyone knew you as “Little Noble” in your town

the sole reason being your father literally treating you like a noble lmao

he gave you the best of everything he could afford and tried his best to not let you do any work

tried

of course, you were a little angel and you HAD to help otherwise you’d cry about making someone else tired when you could’ve easily helped

you’ve carried this trait until your early twenties and there were no signs that you would stop

hence why you were bringing home some fresh fruits from the stall clerk before a man bumps into you

you were so caught off guard that your knee buckled and you fell on your butt

everyone was stunned into silence as you fell but louis was so apologetic

so when he helped you back up, he felt the chilling stares of the town burning into his back

and then you apologize for bumping into him when he was the one who bumped into you and you fell??????

“please, let me make you something! i feel so bad!”

he tries to decline but there was this odd pressure to say yes to you

he ends up going home with you

you’re both in front of the door before your father opens it, his eyes wide

“who is this boy?”

“oh, i didn’t get his name on the way here. what is your name?”

your poor father’s heart is pounding way too fast for his liking

“oh! look at that, thank you so much for bringing my child home! you should be going home now”

he tries to shut the door on louis but you hold it open and beckon louis inside

“i invited him here! i accidentally bumped into him earlier so i offered to make him something!”

louis is so awkward pls

your father reluctantly lets him in but gives him a side eye the whole time he’s in the house

“does your child do this often?”

“why? do you find it strange?”

YOUR FATHER IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PLEASE SAVE LOUIS

anyways, you finish making your treat and give it to louis, your father glaring at your interaction

louis is still a little stiff but the more you talk to him, his guard is let down a little

soon enough he has to leave and you wish him well

he leaves with a wave and a kind smile and you look over at your father who had been scowling since you appeared at the front door

“he is a bit cute, don’t you think father?”

your father sputters, stunned by your bold claim

“y-you’re still too young to think about men like that!”

you laugh and shut the front door, teasing your poor father about finding love while also wondering if you would meet louis again

as you talk with your father behind closed doors, louis smiles to himself as he thinks about the unusual encounter today

surely, if i met them again tomorrow, it would make for a pleasant day

albert: 546 words

he meets your father before he meets you

it was during a ball your parents organized in order to connect with the more prestigious nobles around you

your parents were obsessed with the way your family was viewed and apparently being an earl wasn’t enough

so albert hears about you when your father boasts about how you’re the perfect child who answered to his every beck and call

in all honesty, albert was disgusted

no one deserved to be brought up like that

he casually makes his way into the conversation and your father is seething

“my child is your age, it’s a shame you act like this, i would have thought of you as a prime husband for them”

who is this earl to tell him what to do?

needless to say your father crosses him off of the guest list for the next ball

days go by and your father doesn’t know that you’re currently in town, doing what you can to help the working class as best as you can

it is on one particular day of visiting an orphanage do you run into the eldest moriarty brother

you two exchange polite greetings and you both pause

“your father is the earl, is he not?”

“you are a general of the army, are you not?”

a brief mention of your father and your mood dulls slightly

“yes, but i’m here on my own accord”

he would kill you if he found out you were amongst the “filth” as he called them

“well, i’ve brought books for the children, would you like to help me read some to them?”

he seemed sincere enough to not want anything more from you, so you agreed

he was actually very pleasant to be around and you find yourself enjoying his company

the meetups continued to happen and soon enough, albert finds himself standing in front of the doors to your family estate

your father is not pleased at all

“it’s nice to meet you again, sir”

“i didn’t forget about what you said to me at our first meeting”

and you’re sitting there like,, ????? they’ve met??? and your father doesn’t like albert???????

of course, inviting albert to your home would have repercussions but you didn’t expect your father to be so hostile

he was always hostile towards other nobles unless they were of higher importance than him

but for him to hate albert so quickly and openly??? this was quite new

you had mentioned that your father has always been one for power so it was clear to albert that you obviously grew up in a home that was more,,, toxic than protective

it was at dinner that this behavior reached its peak and albert despised the atmosphere and the way your father treated you

“i’ve come here to ask for your child’s hand in marriage”

your father rejects the idea without any hesitation

“i refuse to have them live the rest of their life in your household when they could do so much better”

when you invited albert that night, you knew there would be repercussions with your father

but what you didn’t expect was that you would leave your father and adopt the moriarty name as your own, the family welcoming you with open arms

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

[sakurology]

could you do the nsfw alphabet for atsumu please? thank you :)

Aw shit, here we go again...

NSFW Alphabet: Miya Atsumu

gn!reader focused

A/N: She hasn’t written in awhile but you know what I’m proud of it- lol be nice to me or I’ll leave forever jk I won’t but still be nice to me ily 💕 Atsumu is a menace I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Obviously nasty below the cut so if you’re a kid fuck off

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

He’s not the best, but certainly not the worst. He will take care of you, but… only after he takes care of himself first. Usually that just means he needs to take a shower. Once he does, he’s free to supply cuddles until you both fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

He has abs so solid you could make a sharkcoochie board on them. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

When Atsumu cums… he cums hard. It’s like having an out of body experience- every nerve cell in his body is firing off as he tenses up, digging his nails into whatever flesh he can grab, and grinding his heels into the surface supporting him. He bites down so hard his teeth grind involuntarily as his face contorts in a strained statuesque vision. One low growl from deep in his chest comes out through gritted teeth as he sputters out mixtures of “that’s it,” and “don’t you dare fucking stop.”

The orgasm face of Atsumu Miya is one of the 7 wonders of the world.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

It’s not a secret per se, but he’s been exposed and clowned for eating ass… so he doesn’t wanna talk about it.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

So contrary to popular belief, I don’t think he’s that experienced... he’s just lucky! (Lmaoooo all of his experience is based on like 2 actual people that he maybe got to second base with (he says third but come on we know he’s lying) and then a litany of porn. Poor thing just wants some coochie I AM HERE KING and he has no trouble finding it, he just never seals the deal. He’s someone who just kind of, knows what to do naturally. He’s able to read someone’s body by touch alone, and so he knows what you like right off the bat based on how you react. He might try a couple of things at the start to see what really makes you squirm, but once he’s got it... holy hell has he ever got it.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

I hate to say how easy this was- but I KNOW Atsumu is a guy who prefers doggy. I see him as a hair puller, so this is perfect for him. I also could see him being into mirrors, and this is the perfect position to make you look at what he’s doing to you, especially while he’s pulling your head back by your hair. He especially likes gripping his thumbs into the smalls of your back (he crosses his arms bc saw it in a porn once and he thinks it makes him look cool), and when he’s INTO it, he likes to smack your ass to encourage you.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Is goofy by accident. Like will sometimes try throwing in something new with his normal dirty talk that completely throws you off. He hates when you laugh at him for it, but you find it endearing.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

I’m gonna… say something so controversial yet so bold:

What hair?

And yes I mean that. Smooth. He waxes. Monthly. No hair. (Besides like… legs and armpits… yah he doesn’t touch those) Naked mole rat dick but fuck it he’s Atsumu motherfucking Miya he can do what he wants.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞

While he’s not the most... romantic in general per se, he does want to make you feel appreciated. He’s very eager to get his, but he won’t allow himself to unless you have already. It takes restraint, but he cools himself down by having you get on top, or by leaving lingering kisses anywhere he can, saying you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

When he’s away from you he loves to send you videos of himself or FaceTime you. He gets you worked up enough to join him no matter where you are. He just needs to see you, he needs you to see him stroking his cock to the thought of you- he can’t cum without you telling him to.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

I have to get this out but I KNOW he’s nasty. I imagine Atsumu as a huge dirty talker and also someone who’s into spitting. Both of those are just clear in my brain... like he would be pundinng you from behind, spit on your back, and then call you a slut all in 3 seconds flat but the way that you would cream? Ugh insanity he needs to be arrested he needs to be stopped

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Since he’s got money now- he’s a big fan of ordering Uber XLs or even just hiring a driver for a night on the town as a flex. But he especially loves telling his driver to put up the window partition while he annihilates you in the backseat. I just think he’s a fan of car sex in general- it just does it for him.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Loves to hear his name. Whether you’re moaning it or screaming it like it’s the only word you know, he’s always going to ask you who you belong to, and the answer is always Atsumu.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He totally eats ass. He’s just not gonna tell anyone bc he told Osamu ONCE and now his contact name is ASStumu and he lives in fear of that getting out.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Sloppppppyyyyyy. Loves giving ~slightly~ more than receiving, simply bc he loves the sight of seeing his spit dripping down your thighs while he goes down on you. Loves eye contact when you’re going down on him.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

Though I wouldn’t say he’s super experienced, I know he’s relentless. He fucks. Literally just fucks. Not in the sense that he only treats you like a hole bc yikes, but in the sense that he just goes the speeds of fast or faster. There’s no slow with him.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

Yeah. Lots of them. Anywhere, anytime. Particularly for him, a lot of them end up being in his car, simply because you’ll be out somewhere and the mood strikes. He’ll quickly take you out to the car for a few minutes, slut you out, and then return to the function like nothing happened. You’ve had many a quickie in a bathroom or closet in a party as well. When he wants you, he wants you, so he’s not afraid to take you.

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Not as much of a risk-taker as people think. Mostly because he wants to protect you. He would hate for someone to see you in such a compromising position… but also, you’ve had your fair share of quickies in the bathrooms of various wedding receptions, so he’s lying.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Can last a decent amount of time, if he spreads it out over multiple rounds. I’m general, he can probably go about 2 or 3 rounds without needing a break. More if you draw out foreplay with him. He’s a pleaser, so really how long he lasts is up to you. He’s got the power and control to hold off on is own release until he’s certain you absolutely can’t take anymore.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

One of those mfs who gets you the mold of his dick as a toy for your birthday for when he’s away because according to him “you’ll be so needy while I’m gone”

I hate him so much but I would use that shit every day he knows what he’s doing I’m so upset

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

Speaking of being needy- he loves to egg you on when you are. He knows all the buttons to push, but he’ll never actually make the move until you’re begging. And of course he loves to turn that around in you, hitting you with that “god, ya just can’t get enough of me, can ya?”

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

He’s more of a talker than a moaner. Not necessarily loud in bed- but very, very vocal. Commanding of you in a good way, and will definitely show his appreciation through praise.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Actually has a Cosmo subscription bc he likes trying all the strange and obscure sex positions in the articles. Also likes taking the quizzes, and will casually have you do them with him at breakfast.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

he’s a little on the thicker side. Its probably a good 7 inches, so it’s enough to fill you, add in the stretch of his girth and it’s a good, mild burn when he first goes in, but he fills you just enough without it being way too much. He’s a shower, so he doesn’t get much longer, but you have a lot to work with. He also has a cute freckle on his left inner thigh.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

His sex drive is on the higher end, but really only when he’s in his off season. When he’s actively playing in games, he tries to curb his appetite a bit because he believes in the superstition that sex messes with players’ stamina on the court.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s gonna knock out, but not until he showers. He ALWAYS showers after. The water soothes his muscles and by the time he’s done it’s lights out.

Taglist Starseeds (link in nav to join):  @honey-makki @acciobrooms @sen-brainrot @the-3d-sky-sister @minato-hoe @strawberrymakki @prettyforpapiiwa @arixtsukki @freyafolkvangr @milanapolitana @notjasmin​ @keishinsuke

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[redxblueihateloveyou]

Omg thank you so much for your posts about rinharu!! :"")) I was one of those people who were like "why are rinharu fighting again?? Did kyoani purposely seperate them /again/ just for the sake of drama ?? (And so that they have more oppurtunities to showcase other ships??)" I was really irked at first cuz i thought the first part of TFS is finally going to be a movie about rinharu being a powercouple, but! After reading your posts i realised that haru never really moved on from rin leaving, even in S3 the reason why hiyori's words affected him was because he thought he caused rin to leave (and by extension ikuya, but lbr haru wasn't as frustrated with ikuya nearly as much as he was with rin right) so i'm just here to say.. thank you so much for opening my eyes!!! Now i'm really looking forward to the second part!!

Awww no problem <3 tbh I've always said that free is one of those that has so many nuances left bts that it's sometimes confusing for those who aren't as invested I think. Like there's so many important things that are left out and are in additional materials, that some has no idea what's going on at times. Like back in the days when some interpreted s2 in the opposite way bc of that one thing. My point is that not everyone is even watches stuff like recaps for example (where there are in fact new easter eggs and so many important things like Rin's dad death aftermath etc), and even less read novels and checked side stories and dramas.

For example, in books this Haru's issue about him thinking he's cursed and hurts everyone with his swimming is a huge thing, when Asahi "lost his ability to swim" after seeing Haru's free. But in SD it wasn't adressed at all tbh.

And what Haru feels for Rin is such tornado of emotions, that surprised even me with all the descriptions, bc like it's real bad. Like that part I posted from the chapter when Rin leaves is at least understandable, since he leaves. But the way he reacts to him in general even when he just appears in his sight is always described as if someone tortures him for real lol. And he's always like "pls someone save me, I don't know how to deal with this, bc I've never felt such emotions before".

So basically, like yeah, he's as it is has this thing, when he thinks of himself as some bad omen, so he's very sensitive about it, but since everything Rin-related feels x100000000 for him, its just... well, it hurt for a very long time and sadly was just overlooked by a certain someone, so here we are.

I think we all at first believed that bc Rin's so shocked and in disbelief that Haru could even think that it was his fault in some way:

that maybe they talked about it bts or smth like after the relay. But it seems like Rin either forgot or most likely I think he maybe thought that Haru understood without words? I'm just real sad still that Haru didn't get to hear this speech:

I mean, they made it look by the end of s1 that it was about relay, which partially yeah, but for Rin it was really about Haru. You see what he said.. he said that that 1x02 race with Haru alone.. what made him want to swim again. This whole speech was not only about the fact that Haru wasn't at fault that he quit swimming in the first place, but about the fact that Haru is his lucky charm, that makes everything better. AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR THAT. So like for Haru it's to this day like "after I messed him up, Rin was saved with the power of friendship and a relay". But he was saved by Haru really. Bc according to s3 info, it was basically just about Haru being on the relay team. I don't try to demean their friendships or anything, but its just what it is.

And as I've said before in one post it's just fascinating that to this day Rin for example thinks that s1 shananigans were just about him and just his problem:

Haru thought it was about them and their problem:

So like my point here is I also up to the end of s2 thought that maybe Rei or Rin told that to him, bc we seemed to move on to another problems, until in Kizuna we were shown that he still dreams about that scene of Rin leaving. s3 Hiyori just exposed the wound really.

But also once again see what he said there, it's not just about that one time he keeps reliving, aka his first come back, its really just about each time Rin was leaving. Like the very first one already was bad, the second was the worst, bc he thought he hurt him and thought that bc of him he quit swimming, others are just painful bc by then it was already another kind of feeling. I mean, I do think that this first Rin's return to Australia thing needs to be cleared up since it's obviously still haunting him. But again it's just part of this. Haru after the Australian trip and "I've always admired you" and "without you I have nothing to aim for" and after TYM goodbye when Rin told him that he doesn't need a surprise party and that just swimming with Haru before leaving is the greastest surprise for him, he knows already about the way Rin feels about swimming with him... I think the reason why everyone is freaking out here is that bc the way it's executed it's just really about him constantly missing him and "why am I always have to longingly watch you leave, while you seem fine." If he was in a free race, but wasn't on a relay team, he'd get the same reaction. Its just all seasons combined that brought us here. We already in 3x01 without Hiyori knew that he wasn't handling Rin being far away again good. So tbh it's logical even without any explanation really. I mean, Rin does indeed leave and come back as he pleases and does what he wants without holding back or sometimes thinking about consequences. There's no lie here.

It's like since the beginning for Rin it was like "I found the gorgeous guy I adore and I want to swim with, I'll transfer schools just to nag him into swimming with me, it's not like he's gonna care if I leave after that." (he literally in the book didn't think it was a big deal)

For Haru it was like "I lived just fine, but this guy stormed into my life, made me want things I didn't think I'd ever want, got me addicted to him and then dropped me like a hot potato".

Rin's just very passionate about life and things he wants, like Haru for example, but he's really also very unobservant and very clueless at times.

But like just bc he doesn't know about Haru's existential crisis and all the pain he's truly in when he's leaving, doesn't change the fact that he at times didn't even treat him as a simple friend (because they can't be just friends I KNOW), but still things like "you could've called" "well sorry, I guess I'm just not good at it" are probably hurtful, considering the fact that you are good at it with everyone else tho, Rin sweetie. Like thanks for avoiding us the most and holding back and visiting us the last each time, we feel real special. Haru is like the opposite, he doesn't call anyone for example, but he can call Rin in the middle of the night if needed, he always does for Rin smth that's completely out of his comfort zone.

It's like some say "Rin didn't know he wanted him to call" or "he didn't know Haru felt guilty". He did know he wanted him to call and he didn't know Haru felt guilty and stopped swimming competitively when he stopped swimming, but then Rei told him and Natsuya in 3x03 reminded him about this too. Its just the fact that he doesn't want to add 1+1 and thinks "well, there's no way I can affect Haru like that right?", "he can't be that upset about Rin Matsuoka, right?". While facts are he IS literally the only one who affects Haru in such huge way. It's like everyone else can just pass him by and it's nothing, but he walks by and it's a whole "asdfghgfdsa why my body is on fire, its just Rin who's just standing there".

And I'm also buffled by this thing that some people really say stuff like "where did this come from, they were perfectly fine" etc, as if they ever had normal "friendship" relationship. I'm like when did they ever behave themselves okay? In 3x03 Rin is dying to call Haru, but can't do it, while he's constantly texting everyone including Nagisa. First thing he says in the airport when he comes back is "I'm home, Haru" to air, but then goes to hang out with Makoto and Sousuke, desperately looking for an excuse to see the one whom he from the beginning, as it was shown wanted to see the most, but in his opinion can’t without a reason. It's only when Makoto tells him that Haru was upset about Albert he quickly rans off out of there bc "hooray, I have an excuse to see my bae”. Like we know from the airport scene that he wanted to see Haru the most. If they're so as people say were doing great, than how do you exlain all of their s2 and s3 behavior for real? It's like as if in TYM Haru didn't lose his shit from some gossip about persimmons. I mean, they never settled anything really. And Haru is constantly scared of Rin leaving again since forever.

So it's complicated, but yes, we're super excited for p2, bc asdfghjhgfds.

[shingia]

Heya. I know this is very angsty of a request, but I saw the fic of characters reacting to their s/o who [tw] relapsed into self harm and was wondering if you would do some for asahi, ushijima, and oikawa?

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐩𝐭.𝟐

hi ! ofc you can honey <3 i hope these will bring you as much comfort as you need, and plz don’t hesitate to dm me if you need to talk to someone, or to reach out for help in any way. here’s a hug for you bcs you deserve it, love you 💗 

also im sorry but i really couldn’t imagine asahi ever arguing with his s/o so i didn’t include this in his fic (he really is too precious)

warnings : mentions of self harm, one mention of blood, some self-depreciating thoughts. please do not read if any of these might trigger something, stay safe everyone <3

➾ 𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢

asahi trusted you blindly. and everyday, he had to make an effort to persuade himself that you trusted him in return. you did of course, how could you not trust the one that had helped you through so much ?

but this wasn’t about trust ; it was about shame. because the last thing you wanted was to find in his eyes the anguish and fear as they were a few months ago. you couldn’t do that to him, yet you kept doing that to yourself.

however, you had the misfortune - which was more of a blessing really - to have a very observant boyfriend who cared about you. and he cared enough to gather the courage to finally ask you about what he had hoped you’d come to him for. sat next to you on the couch, he took the plunge. 

« do you… do you remember when you promised to always come to me if you needed help ? ». there, he had said it. and from the way that his arm tightened encouragingly around your waist, you understood what he meant by this innocent question. he kept speaking : « you know i trust you, right ? i really do. but something tells me that maybe you forgot about this promise recently ».

each of his words was carefully chosen, more than usual. because even if he didn’t show you, he was terrified of messing up. the fact that you were reluctant to answer was enough for him to understand that he had guessed right. but what confirmed it was the single tear that slowly streamed down your cheek.

« oh angel, no, come here. come, you’re ok now… » he spoke in a tone that was more comforting that anything you had ever heard. his arms were wide open for you to snuggle in, and when they wrapped around you, his words replayed once again in your head. i’m ok now, i’m ok now… you repeated internally. and you were, asahi was a man of his words after all.

« i’m sorry for being weak » you finally said after a few seconds of silence, voice half-muffled by his embrace. his warm fingers traced the outline of your face, encouraging you to look up to him. not because he needed to see your face, he already knew it by heart, but because you needed to see his. « weak ? y-you’re the furthest thing from weak. how can i even put it..? you are one of the strongest person i know, and i wouldn’t be half the man i am today if it weren’t for you. 

you wanted to thank him, but exhaustion took hold of your body before any word could leave your tight throat. and when you woke up - two hours later according to the clock - asahi was still there, holding you tight against his heart like a promise to never let go of you anymore.

➾ 𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚

ushijima hated to waste time and energy on ‘petty fights’, as he liked to call them. but it was really frustrating to always feel like he avoided confrontation ; arguments were necessary in a relationship, and he didn’t seem to understand that.

whenever you got into fights, you were always the only one to get angry, which never failed to make you feel guilty afterwards. and eventually, this feeling of guilt started to become permanent, taking so much place in your brain that you had to sacrifice a part of the self-confidence you had built up the past months. but you didn’t know how much longer you could conceal it.

tonight was the first time you were sleeping together since your most recent fight, the one that had damaged you so badly. and you couldn’t lie, feeling his warmth next to you after about three days spent ignoring him almost felt like a reward. but a reward for what ? you were certainly not proud of what you had done, and you were terrified at the thought that he’d ever notice it. but unfortunately, your efforts to pretend like everything was ok were put to an end in the middle of the night, at about 3 am. something silly, really : ushijima had just turned around in his sleep, and his shoulder accidentally weighed on your wrist, making you hiss in pain. he immediately opened his eyes at the sound, his hand immediately finding its way to your side - he was always a light sleeper with you.

« are you ok ? » he asked, propping himself on an elbow, barely distinguishing your silhouette in the dark. « yeah, just my wrist. come on, let’s go back to sl- ». oh… that wasn’t supposed to be said out loud. it was hard to gauge his reaction since you could not properly see his face, but since he sat on the bed as soon as you interrupted yourself, you understood that it had not fallen on deaf ears. « are you comfortable with me turning on the lights ? » he asked, obvious concern in his voice. saying yes was tempting, because you knew this was a serious matter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you like this, vulnerable and ashamed.

ushijima accepted it of course, he knew he was not the best with words, so the least he could do was to make sure you were comfortable with whatever he decided to do. « is it ok if i hold you ? » he asked once again, his tone a bit more hesitant. the muscles in your jaw tensed at his words, it was more than ok, or at least you wanted to give it a try, but the worry you had caused him was bringing you back to the familiar feeling of guilt.

however, when he carefully made you rest on top of him like he had always done, something inside you felt healed to know that whatever you were going through did not impact every aspect of your life. his embrace felt the same, so did his heaving chest that rocked your body to sleep every night. surprisingly enough, you did not shed a tear. because the comfort finally felt stronger than the pain, you refused to let anything trouble this moment.

« are you ready to talk about it ? » he questioned, his voice rumbling like a soothing storm in his chest « or do you prefer to wait until tomorrow ? ».

ushijima might have avoided many discussions with you, but this one ? he simply refused to. and if he was more than ready to help you overcome your pain, he also knew not to pressure you into talking. words would come, eventually. but actions were always first.

➾ 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚

despite his usually confident behavior, oikawa knew he had a tendency to second-guess each and every one of his actions, and to beat himself up quite often.

he could not remember the last time he had felt so utterly disgusted by himself, he was usually more careful with his words. but all it took was one angry outburst from him for you to withdraw into yourself - and he had to fix this as soon as possible.

luckily for him, your relationship was strong enough not to be too affected by this argument - which had not been your first, but definitely the biggest one. however, you had been affected. a lot actually. but you knew better than to talk to him about this, knowing that he would obviously take the blame for your relapse.

but oikawa was attentive, and, clever as he was, it did not take long for him to guess what you were going through when he saw the red-stained tissues in the bathroom trash. it had been two weeks since your fight, and just the thought that he had left you alone with your struggles for so long made him want to throw up.

without wasting any more second, he burst out of the bathroom and made his way to the living room where you were absent-mindedly watching a movie. he would have preferred to have a discussion with you with a clear head, but the sight of the tissues kept spiraling in his head and he was incapable of doing anything else but to pull you in for a hug whose suddenness made you gasp.

oikawa’s hugs were usually soft, with little kisses here and there and a few compliments chuckled in your ear. but today had nothing to do with those. his arms were engulfing your figure in a desperate need to feel you against him, like he was trying to make up for all the time he had left you alone. « i’m so sorry, so sorry baby… can you forgive me ? » he breathed out, his voice cracking with emotion. obviously you knew what he was referring to, how could you not know ? and just like him, the thousand words on your mind only transcribed in your arms wrapping around him, closing the last few millimeters that separated you as you frantically nodded your head yes. 

you did not think he had anything to be forgiven for, and sadly, you also knew that he would continue to blame himself no matter what your answer had been. that was actually your biggest motivation to begin your recovery journey. oikawa needed to know that, from now on, you’d turn to him instead of your old habits. and you wanted nothing more than to make him happy, so, since his happiness seemed to depend on yours, it could be considered a package deal towards a better future, together.

before you leave, here are links to two mental health support apps that i hope will help you deal what you are going through right now. i know it’s not much but i’ll be the happiest girl if this helped someone in the tiniest way. take care of yourselves ❤️

Calm Harm - Play Store | App Store

Wysa - Play Store | App Store

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

[collisiondiscourse]

on the wonder duo (part 1)

(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)

yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?

bc like. ive been thinking.

everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)

but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.

as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders

with bakugou and deku... its different.

its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.

i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.

@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee​ @isaustraliaathing​

(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)

1. Complementary Colors

I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!

A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.

Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic. 

Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.

the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.

Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.

Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.

Izuku Midoriya (緑谷 出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku’--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)

but that isn’t my focus right now.

We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.

After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.

(Sound familiar?)

Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.

On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪 勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.

When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.

2. Hero Too!

Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.

What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.

Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes 

We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.

But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.

In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.

The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away. 

The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.

“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”

A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.

-

Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.

At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.

ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)

Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.

(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)

As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.

(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)

we begin to notice a few similarities.

As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.

Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.

i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.

“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.

In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well. 

The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.

When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other. 

Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.

IN CONCLUSION:

As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)

-

Part Two: Interactions, OfA

kofi || commission details

[guiltycorp]

about the ‘sworn’ or ‘righteous’ part of Kaeya’s relation to Ragnvindrs Considering the fact that Kaeya must have been ~10-13 years old when he was taken in by Crepus and also that his profile description calls him his sworn son (義子) I believe it's safe to assume that this was the primary relationship. Later in his stories Kaeya is often referred to as 養子, adopted or foster son and it is my belief that the meaning is 100% foster because being a sworn son is different to actually getting adopted. Sworn children don't share their 'parents' surnames and they don't inherit anything, in fact, often there's no form of written contract at all and instead it's just an agreement where one side provides patronage and care while the other offers filial piety. So, that means that it probably wasn't Diluc's decision to swear an oath of brotherhood with Kaeya! Instead Kaeya first became Crepus's sworn son and thus became Diluc's sworn brother by association; though calling the children of your sworn parent your sworn siblings isn't an absolute rule it's still kind of expected. Having skimmed through the Chinese Wikipedia page it seems to me like the main contemporary reason to make other children your sworn sons/daughters is because people weren't allowed to have more than one child and 'adopting' sworn children like this allowed the kids to learn the value of 悌, concept of fraternal loyalty. Also just in general easier to make close friends when your parents already did that for you. It would make sense to me if Crepus didn't want to risk adopting a random kid but still took in Kaeya as his sworn son specifically to provide Diluc with a close friend of a similar age and semi-equal status (sorry Elzer т_т). I should note that the practice of sworn parents/siblings was often historically used for political and economical reasons, in turn leading to corruption and abuse. For example, 'I give you filial piety, you give me money and promotions' or 'I give you a roof over your head and you give me your servitude' etc. This isn't really relevant to Kaeya's character since he mentions happiness while being with Ragnvindrs (when comparing his duty to his feelings), but still this is to provide context bc the practice isn't seen as completely ideal&pure. Plus he diiiid become a knight under Diluc ehe, but of course it’s easy to make the case for ‘he deserved it’.  Anyway in my opinion, considering the fact that Kaeya's and Diluc's sworn brotherhood oath wasn't made by them on purpose, the only thing that truly matters when it comes to their relationship is the characters' own view. We don’t really have much information on their pre-fight dynamic aside from them having been very close with Diluc as the older perfect prodigy and Kaeya as his sidekick (support + planning). However, they are said to have been as close as the gemini, like, the sign that means twins. This is probably a point in favor of an actual brotherly relationship rather than a fairly distant friendship. Meanwhile their current in-game relationship is fraught with tension.  Kaeya obviously wants to reconcile and Diluc still relies on him whenever Kaeya suggests it, so when it comes to professionalism they fall back into the same dynamic of brawns & brain, but their dialogues are filled with mistrust on Diluc’s end and with bitterness on Kaeya’s side.  It's fairly concerning that the only sign Diluc might still care about his ex-sworn brother is that ugly ass vase he kept in the lobby.   Considering the amount of things Kaeya managed to do for him already, it's slightly unbalanced immo to say the least :/ :/ Some like to say that Diluc not giving him over to Jean is already a sign of caring on his part but idk, considering his personality he might just see Kaeya as his own responsibility to watch over and I doubt that he would leave Mond for 4 years if Kaeya actually seemed like a threat.  And there were plenty of times when Diluc could have alluded to Kaeya (like, kaeya alludes to him in his voicelines all the time) and yet just doesn't.  Even the line that could vaguely be associated with Kaeya, the one about nightingales, is a mistranslation — he meant night OWLS, his own constellation and symbol. What a pity tbh.  We just have to wait for further content with them to be sure that Diluc isn’t completely heartless.  And more about the pairing though, read only if it’s relevant to your interests.  While ideally sworn siblings are expected to maintain platonic relations and to care for each other their whole lives, being halves of a whole and all that, interestingly enough according to the Wikipedia page the specific kind of sworn siblings you make through parents is less regulated, so if kids grow up and pursue romantic relationships between each other it's seen as just fine, sometimes even encouraged by the more meddling type of grannies. Tbh at first I was surprised by that, but likely it's because becoming sworn siblings isn't really their call? While if you swear an oath of brotherhood/sisterhood by your own decision as an adult you're expected to maintain that specific kind of relationship? makes sense to me i guess (that said, of course there are also practices like 契兄弟, Qi sworn brothers — like, specifically the gay sworn brothers, when men swore brotherhood with their lovers to avoid persecution for homosexuality... also my understanding is that women did that way more often because for them it was also a way to get out of marriages by saying that they were fully devoted to their 'sisters' instead, this isn’t relevant here, just interesting) Basically as soon as you enter a romantic relationship with your sworn-anything the boundary you maintain is replaced by the new romantic kind and you shouldn't count as sworn siblings anymore; unless you're lgbtq in which case open romantic relationships are dangerous anyway so you might as well continue calling your partner whatever. Basically there would be nothing wrong with kaeluc especially since they even already stopped calling each other sworn brothers (the eng translation took liberties again, in the comic it’s not actually clear who was the first one to stop). It’s all about the characters’ own perspective and while I’m convinced that genshin won’t have any outright lgbt representation bc chinese game, we can still assume a lot from how things between Kaeya and Diluc develop, like whether they will reconcile and if they do will they go back to calling each other sworn brothers or if they will start a completely new friendship free of the ties to Crepus. Or will they fail to reconcile in a dramatic and angsty fashion? Either way, this time it would be their own choice and thus all the stronger for it! 

[pridewon]

@tvrningout​ said: ❛  you make me smile … and also super horny, but that’s not the point.  ❜ chiyo to atsumu bc i’m laughing thinking atsumu’s trying to be sweet and chiyo just : )) (a meme i lost in the ether)

“And then I told ‘im - oi, Chiyo, listen to meeeee, I’m gettin’ to the best part!” It isn’t new for anyone, especially not his girlfriend, that Atsumu is somewhat of a whiny baby, when he wants to be (stomping for attention and pouting when he doesn’t get it, getting all up in people’s faces until they can no longer ignore him). He takes up space, demands it, imposes on it (but only ever when it pleases him); and with age, has grown to realise that the few people who don’t resent him for his bad habits should be cherished and treasured. Really, how many people have Chiyo’s patience, when it comes to his attitude? 

Of course, it certainly helps, that his attitude is softened tenfold when it comes to her; instead of aggressive taunting and provocation, he is content to sit on the floor, his back towards her and he leans back between her legs while she is perched on the sofa, absent-mindedly playing with his hair with one hand, the other busy typing away a couple of texts. Texts that are absolutely irrelevant, when he is busy recounting the epic tale of his latest shenanigans with Bokuto, obviously! Impatience boils over, and Atsumu shifts to rise on his knees, turn around and face his (distracted) girlfriend, one arm on each side of her hips and a clear pout on his face. “Earth to Chiyo... oh. Glad t’see you were payin’ attention, but what have I said that’s so funny?” The question slips past him, as he squints at her poor attempt at concealing a grin; and the light blush on her face. And is she trying to squirm out of his arms? 

Atsumu squints harder. Suspicious. Until she drops this tiny bomb; and prompts furrowed eyebrows to shoot sky high.

 ......... well. Unexpected, but not unpleasant, is how he would describe it; ego suddenly inflated and boyfriend pride tickled, while a sudden realisation that he had not bothered to put a shirt back on after his shower washes over him (maybe a part of Chiyo’s current predicament). “... I do? It’s not?” He repeats (a little stupid - sometimes Chiyo has a way of making his last braincells fall out his ear, as Osamu had once put it); and she squishes his face between her hands, and he grumbles. Yo, hold on - she wouldn’t be trying to drown out the poison, would she? After what she said?

Nuh-huh. He’s not letting that slide that easily. 

“Excuse you, I think that’s the entire point. All of it. The whole damn point.” He protests, encasing her further between his arms and the sofa; trapped at the waist like a poor unfortunate prey while he sharpens his fangs (eyes unable to not glance towards her lips). “Is makin’ ya laugh an’ makin’ ya horny all I’m good for, hm?” Not that bad of a deal, all things considered, but it’s the principle of it, y’know. He teases, knowing protest will soon follow (’that’s not what I said and y’know it, Tsumu!’ yadda yadda yadda); lips curling into foxy smile as he presses them against hers, silencing all and any objection - which he feels in the form of breathed mutter against his mouth, and expertly decides not to pay attention to, because according to the hands he can feel curling into his hair, she isn’t really protesting at all. 

“I knew it. Y’only want me for my body, don’tcha Chiyo? Un-believable.” Oh, so dramatic; coaxing another chuckle from her while he trails kisses down her cheek, follows the line of her jaw, her neck, not-so-subtly climbing up on the sofa. Lips travel down her collarbones, graze at the birth of her cleavage; his own heart beating as fast as hers under the press of his kisses. Cheks flushed, eyes alight, he looks back up at her; smitten fox milking her adorable slip-up for all its worth. “Well, now that y’broke my heart, I guess we should try an’ do somethin’ about... the other thing.” He taunts, like he doesn’t share the same thoughts.

[cantfoolajoker]

You mentioned that Shinjiro's heavily implied to be apart of strega’s experiment and was wondering if you can elaborate more on that? It sounds really interesting

so pretty much this builds upon using evidence across different medias, namely the manga and spin off side novels, as well as taking things from the basic game.

(undercut bc this hit ~1.2k words oops)

first part is understanding what an artificial persona user is, which is what takaya, jin, and chidori all are -- artificial persona users are people who, through other means, were forced to awaken their personas. this concept exists in p2 and p3 (with special mention to sho who is technically one but had a different manifestation of the issue entirely), but p3 is what i am going to be focusing on since the info about them comes out of strega and mitsuru’s mouths in particular. 

according to strega in game and mitsuru’s explanation of the experiments, artificial persona users were forced to awaken their personas unnaturally which disrupts the balance between user and persona. remembering that personas and shadows are fundamentally the same thing in the world’s rules, this means rather than having a tamed persona under control, artificial users have essentially out of control shadows that just happen to take the forms of personas. the persona of an artificial user, because it is untamed, will attempt to usurper control from the user and murder them in the process in order to possess them, which mitsuru says will cause the user to become entirely in body a shadow -- this is why most of the people from strega’s experiment are dead.

so, with that out of the way, lets examine the times this happens in actual game. we see it happen with chidori, who we know this is natural to have happen because she is an artificial user and she was apart of those experiments. there is, however, a second person who also has this occur to them: shinjiro with castor! he even explains it to akihiko in the same terms during their conversation that castor wants to kill him and this is why shinjiro takes persona suppressants.  “but shinjiro has an evoker!” so does all of strega! using an evoker essentially channels the persona in a healthy manner and allows for a controlled appearance of them, which is why strega uses them except for the final fight where takaya will hold his head and forcefully summon his without an aid, which we know is possible for the p3 cast as a whole due to how the dark hour works in relation to real life (which is explained/stated in p4 arena). this would explain why shinjiro has an evoker and why castor is under control during these segments, since it also applies to other members of strega too.

getting onto smaller details, there is very heavy bias that at least chidori and jin, and even ikutsuki, consider shinjiro apart of strega as a group rather than sees. chidori is shown to trust shinjiro and jin asserts to akihiko in the manga during the moonlight bridge fight that akihiko “will never know shinjiro like we do”, which is a taunt to infuriate akihiko after shinjiro’s death. this is, at first glance, a very weird taunt to say if you only consider the meetings every time you see in the game and subsequent retold media. there isn’t really a way to interpret this other than strega knows what its like to have an artificial persona, which adds to this that shinjiro must be considered one too. this could also be interpreted further as the bond of trauma because of the experiments, since jin is telling akihiko that his relationship with shinjiro and shinjiro’s relationship with strega is not the same and strega must be closer to shinjiro due to some undisclosed reason. there isn’t much further comment on this in the fight because again, it’s a taunt and it does its job since akihiko is pissed off at jin for saying this and attempts to punch him without further comment.

on top of that, you ever notice how ikutsuki.... doesn’t really care about shinjiro at all? for being one of the founding members of sees, even when shinjiro comes back ikutsuki doesn’t care and focuses on akihiko and mitsuru. this is only added on when considering shinjiro goes to strega for persona suppressors -- suppressors which ikutsuki hand makes and engineered to be deadly to the people who needed to take them. there is an argument to be had the reason why ikutsuki doesn’t care about shinjiro is because he knew he was dead from the beginning for needing to take the suppressors. it’s also why ikutsuki knowingly lets all of strega do whatever they want -- they’re all going to die in the end because of ikutsuki’s suppressors, which again, were hand made by him and very likely were specifically made with the death of the people taking them in mind, especially considering that the death of sees was a command built into aigis ikutsuki had control over.

back to strega though, there is actually a spin off novel about strega! it’s called shadow cry, which features strega and a book specific character named izumi. izumi is also an artificial persona user who was deemed dead by kirijo group’s books because he went mia. funny enough, there’s actually a cameo from another well known persona character in this book despite it being focused on strega. who is that character? none other than shinjiro aragaki, who shows up and saves jin’s life when he’s suddenly attacked by a shadow and refuses to tell jin why he saved him. so this book about artificial persona users has shinjiro appear, who is heavily connected to strega already, and who demonstrates all the above mentioned traits of an artificial persona user, and he refuses to answer for why he let jin live when he very well could have let jin die and no one would have known he did this? you could argue on one hand that its shinjiro being an incredibly kind person -- which, as canon shows, he is -- but why did it have to be shinjiro who saved him? couldn’t it have been anyone from sees? none of them would’ve let jin die either. why is it so important its shinjiro who saved jin? why is it important that a spin off book had to make this connection clear?

i propose it’s important because shinjiro was also in the experiments, like izumi. izumi proves the number count of living people from the experiments was wrong, so who is to say shinjiro is not also an artificial persona user and was apart of those exact same experiments? it would slot in perfectly and explain a lot of his character and how he functions, especially with why he relies so heavily on strega and doesn’t have the heart to turn his back on them. there is also the added bonus of realizing that within the trio dynamics, strega is comparable to ikutsuki, mitsuru, and akihiko (akihiko and jin are even both the only noted left handed characters in p3 to boot!), and this leaves a shinjiro sized hole in both groups to complete them.... by none other than shinjiro himself in both cases.

obviously, because shinjiro never outright says anything about any of this, you can take it with a grain of salt, but shinjiro as a character is fair to acknowledge he wasn’t meant to be given serious attention due to his status as a fridge character for ken and akihiko’s development. this is what makes it all the more weird that there is such specific detail in this whole dynamic he has with strega and the concept of artificial persona users that fits him in perfectly.

[lizacstuff]

Edser/SCK anon asks (36 spec)

I accidentally deleted an ask that was interesting, if you don’t see yours here, resend it!

(Asks below the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you think that scene of Eda confronting Selin about it is the end of the episode? I'm so drained, Liza. When will this suffering end?

Oh honey, we have SUFFERED. We have. No doubt about it, but I’ll talk more about that in a minute. (We can overcome) 

First the fragman, could it be the end of the episode? I suppose so. It’s no fun thinking that it might be the cliffhanger and we have to live with that for 11 days instead of 4, but here’s the interesting thing, according to people who look closely at these things, the outfit Eda was wearing when confronting Selin, Hande was wearing that today while filming at Art Life. We also know that at Art Life the set was dressed for some sort of party or event. An event that had the word ‘love’ on the table. So which comes first? The confrontation with Selin or the Art Life scenes that do not include Deniz or Selin?? I don’t know.  The other wild card factor is Bige’s availability. I’m sure most people have heard by now that, sadly, her father passed away this week. This show does not work on a timeline where they can wait.  So they might have had to write her out of a few scenes already in this episode, and it’s unknown what her availability will be for next episode. That could end up changing things a bit, so we’ll see.  Maybe there will be a second fragman that gives us more context.

Now back to feeling drained by this storyline. I get you. I feel you. But here’s how you shake if off. Boil it down for yourself. Why do you continue to watch this show? I’m going to guess it’s for the same reason I continue to watch this show.  Edser. Eda and Serkan are still magic together in every single scene, and Hande and Kerem’s chemistry can turn even the most turgid, ill-advised story or scene into gold. They are worth watching whether they are looking into each other’s eyes or reading the phone book.  

So... my advice is to emotionally distance yourself from the plot. The plot is just the device to keep these two actors on screen together playing these two characters. And that sentence is truer for this show than for any other show I’ve ever watched (and I’ve watched A LOT of shows.) It’s all about these two characters and these two actors. So ultimately the plot doesn’t matter. Let the plot go. There is nothing to worry about, Edser is endgame, Edser is the reason this show exists, they are all the matters on this show. So knowing that, just enjoy their individual scenes, appreciate them for what they are and don’t tie yourself into knots over the nonsense these hack writers throw at us. It will all be fine in the end. 

Anonymous said: I kinda find it funny that what Erdem suggested turned out to be the way Serkan got his memory back. It was a scene fit for a romcom. Obviously it wasn't how I pictured him to remember but at this point I'll take it. Lol! Erdem should be a fortune teller or something!

You’re right. Erdem was on the right track. It would have been funnier if Erdem had hit him to get his memory back and once it worked, then Engin could have held Serkan down, while Erdem continued to bonk him in the head to bring back more memories.

Anonymous said: i totally feel the mixed feelings with the fragman, but it seems like its an ep with great edser moments where they're together and trying to solve this problem, at the same time they just couldn't keep the drama out of the fragman this time?! at a time where everyone is relieved and positive for the first time in weeks?! just seems like a bad move by the production imo and i'm not even that concerned with the plot like others are. another anon said this, but there is def selin fatigue

Selin fatigue is real!!!! But to be honest I was in Selin fatigue by ep 29. And it’s just gotten worse episode by episode. (though we had a bit of a reprieve from her in 34-35) but the fragman brought the fatigue back with a vengeance. The producer has tweeted before about how the show has to have drama, so, I guess that’s where we are. Drama. They think this is what sells, I guess?

They produce those fragman’s with the Fox viewer in Turkey in mind. So perhaps that’s the kind of tease that works well there? I have no idea. Honestly, I think they’re not worried about online fans and international fans because they know we’re so invested that we won’t give up. 

Anonymous said: Normally i would also calm down with the pregnancy thing, it’s probably selin’s last desperate attempt at keeping serkan BUT you know why it scares me? Because they’ll probably introduce the “Kemal is Serkan’s biological father” storyline and I hope that it’s not correlated to selin’s fake pregnancy...like, Serkan would never leave Eda but this Kemal thing will probably remind him how he never had a real father growing up so i hope this doesn’t push him to be by Selin’s side. However, it’s also true that I really don’t think that he and Selin had s*x so I also don’t think they can follow this path. I’m so confused I think we just need to wait and see haha

Yes, we need to wait and see. I see no reason to go down this speculation path unless we’re forced to, because it seems very unlikely to me. Clear it from your mind, and then, if the worst happens, we’ll deal with it then, not now. 

Anonymous said: Idk if u follow sck news on twitter but they posted pics/vids from set today in the office and it looks like a party with food and a sign that says “better together”. Someone commented a theory that serkan will orchestrate a surprise engagement party for eda while she talks to Selin and the ep will end with her turning down the proposal bc Selin is “pregnant” and then we have to wait for the next ep for serkan to tell her it’s not possible 🤡🤡 what do u think?

Yep, I follow sck news, who doesn’t? ;) I think this speculation is plausible, and as long as she’s upfront with Serkan about why and Serkan is able to shut it down immediately next ep, then I can live with this as a cliffhanger. 

Anonymous said: Part 1. You mentioned in a previous ask how Engin didn't tell Eda that Serkan remembered everything when he made it in time for the wedding. Honestly his lack of action was not surprising, upsetting or disappointing. That's just who Engin is. He's a talker, not a doer. Engin is Serkan's friend similar to how Ceren and Fifi are Eda's friends (I'm talking pre amnesia plot). They care about their friend's happiness. Engin has always talked reason to Serkan especially about his feelings for Eda.

Part 2. But Engin's reason for doing that is Serkan's happiness. Of course he wants Eda's happiness but mostly only because it's tied to Serkan's happiness. He has stood up for Eda before like when Serkan accused her of working with Kaan or when he said she deserves to know the truth about her parents death, but whatever Serkan says goes. He never acts in opposition to him. So if Serkan says he won't stop the wedding, Engin isn't going to do anything despite believing Eda should know the truth.

Here’s the problem with this, it’s not just him not caring about Eda. It’s him not caring about Serkan. He should have done it for Serkan, knowing that Serkan would regret his inaction the rest of his life.  It costs him nothing to tell Eda at that moment and let her make the decision. 

That’s one of my biggest problems with this cockamamie plot. From the first Fragman of 29, I said it was impossible that Selin could have hidden him away and rekindled her relationship with him because the other character wouldn’t allow it. Oh but they did. This storyline ruined pretty much every single supporting character, (outside of Melo) because otherwise, if they would have acted in-character or even like normal humans, it never would have worked. And that continued all the way up to this stupid fake/real wedding.  Writers... if you have to ruin every supporting character to bend and twist and make it so your antagonist isn’t immediately jailed or carted away to a mental hospital, that is a sign that it doesn’t work and you need to go back to the drawing board. 

Anonymous said: I have to say, they really do well with the casting on SCK. Especially when they want actors who look like they are related. Eda and her grandmother looked like they were related. It was great casting. Now Serkan and the new character look like they could be related. They have similar features. If the point is for us to speculate that they are father and son, I think they did a good job.

Yes, they really do. I’ve also always thought that Neslihan looks like she could be Kerem’s mother, they have the same coloring. Evrim looks like she could be related to Hande.  They have done a great job with that. 

Anonymous said: That fragman for ep 36...part of me wants to hope that it will all be solved pretty soon, since we got edser separated for so long we deserved them together now. But part of me also knows these writers suck so I’m expecting the worst. I just wanted edser together again 😭

You and me both, babe.  You and me both. 

In the meantime, lets remember to enjoy this show while it lasts. And if we can’t enjoy the plot, as I said above, let’s think about the things we can enjoy.  So if in this episode there are a dozen great Edser scenes and then one that rips out our hearts... let’s concentrate on the dozen, okay? The one that rips out our hearts will resolve itself soon enough. 

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

summer sizzle | darlin, adam page [m]

[ prompts used ]

** again, one day I’m going to sit down and locate every single list I used to write all these one shots. Credit to the amazing prompt makers on the internet, I love you guys.  The plot / the unnamed OC belong to me.**

Kisses Where One Person Is Sitting In The Other’s Lap + heavy making out/dry humping + after an injury - of the emotional sort + chair sex - almost happened but did not + calming the other’s anger with sex + locker room - technically, it’s the bar room set from backstage, but.. We’re making it work darn it.  - ( bonus points, kayfabe is real… for the angst.) 

[ warnings ]

18+ only. All children, hit the bricks. Go play outside. Something. You know the drill. Swearing, sex - of the unprotected variety, semi public setting, angsty / hurt comfort -if you squint and I did my job right (probably not lmao), biting, body fluids, slight body image issues ( Oc is curvy bc OC here is basically my ass with changes ) and hangman’s anxiety, ftw. Oh yeah, and alcohol is involved here. 

[ authors notes ]

Look, I really did like writing this, it was like a self-soothing thing for me. I’m lowkey proud of how this came. Things are gonna end on a bit of a cliffhanger, but... perhaps if people actually like it, I’ll find a way to continue it at some point. I wanted to give it an actual end, but honestly, this worked out better in my opinion... Anyway, yeah. if enough people shout at me to go somewhere with this, i just miiiight?!? 

[ pairing ]

Adam Hangman Page x curvy!unnamed ofc, - it’s hinted at throughout.

[ tag squad ]

@kyleoreillysknee

@rampagewriting

@writertoo18

@thatnerdwriter

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@unabashedwrestlefics

@wardl0w 

@missjenniferb

@wrestlingthot​ 

[ tag list doc - if you’re not on there/ haven’t said you wanna be tagged, you’re not tagged, so.. | masterlist | about page ]

                                         D A R L I N’ - ADAM HANGMAN PAGE,

“Did you see where Hangman took off to?” my question was met with a scowl from his former friends. I glared right back at the group of them, arms folded over my chest, my foot tapping against the tiled floor, the soft click of my heels almost matched to the way my heart was about to beat right out of my chest at the moment.

“Does it look like we care?” Kenny started to ask the question but Matt nudged him, a warning look and the shake of his head. The two shared a look and then they both fixed their gaze on me. “Don’t know what good it’ll do, but he’s still down at the bar area. Typical.” Matt muttered the answer to my question quietly and I asked hesitantly,“Is he alone?”

“Yeah. As soon as the interviewer got what she needed and we spoke our piece, we bailed. Are you sure you wanna go down there right now?” Matt questioned and I didn’t bother with a reply, instead I wasted no time in taking off, glad to be out of their way.

“I cannot fucking believe he just stood there and let it happen.” I mutter mostly to myself as I shove open the door to the bar and peek into the room. The shattered mirror caught in the dim lighting above and Adam was sitting there, a bottle of Jack in front of him.

“Adam?” I called out to him, barely raising my voice above a whisper.

“Better if y’ go.” Adam didn’t even bother looking up from the half empty glass in front of him, choosing instead to raise the glass to his lips and finish it off, shaking his head a little as soon as he had.

I stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me and locking it softly. He tensed but he didn’t turn around. His fingers dug against the wooden bartop and he sighed quietly. The sound seemed to hang in the air.

Our eyes finally met in the mirror and when I saw the pain and frustration in his, I bit my lip, a hand raising from my hip to drag through my tall teased hair. 

My mouth opened and closed and he gave this bitter and quiet laugh. “If you’re gon’ lecture me right now, don’t.”

“I didn’t come to lecture you. For the record, what you did out there was pretty damn stupid, but honestly… I get it.” I found myself fidgeting under his intent gaze as it roamed my body. I tugged down the clingy black spaghetti strapped dress because of it. The air was getting thicker between us by the second. Rather than stand there and gawk at just how truly beautiful the man is, especially in a semi-darkened room with that angry gleam in his eyes, I fixed my eyes on the bottle of Jack and nodded to it. “Think you can spare some of your drink, cowboy?”

He eyed me, a brow raised. To prove that I was being serious and I had no intention to leave anytime soon, I settled down on the stool beside the one he’d been sitting on. I let the stiletto heeled boots on my feet settle to the floor with a quiet clank and I eyed him, finally reaching for the bottle on my own. As I twisted the cap off and poured the liquid within into both our glasses, I stared at him almost defiantly. Daring him to do anything to try and make me leave.

Rather than argue, he gave a tired flop onto the stool he’d been sitting on before I came in. After a few seconds of both of us drinking in silence, he spoke up.

“Didn’t you have some hot date tonight with a biker?” Adam asked the question through a tightly clenched jaw. He made it quite clear that he’d rather be alone right now, but I chose to ignore that.

The guy needed a friend right now.

,, sure. And this has absolutely nothing to do with your thing for him..” my brain scolded and yes, I chose to ignore that too.

I threw my head back and laughed. “Me? Right.”

“You said so earlier when I was in your chair gettin my hair tended to.” he spoke up again, a brow raised as his eyes met mine. Almost as if he were questioning not only why I was here, but whether he wanted me to stay or not. 

“Oh, yeah. I did.” I trailed off, muttering a soft “Fuck.” under my breath. Honestly, when I said it, I hadn’t actually thought he was paying me any kind of attention… Pretty much as usual.

My brow raised as soon as it sank in that he’d heard me and he hadn’t been sitting there with earbuds in. He hadn’t been as absorbed in his phone as I tended to think he always was. Before I had the courage required to ask him about anything else he might have heard me tell Stella Kay, I shoved it out of my head.

So he heard me tonight. Didn’t mean anything other than that. I reminded myself of that too. I shotgunned about half of the drink poured into my own glass and reached for the bottle again, but his hand shot out and he stared me down.

“I say you could come in and help yourself to my Jack?” Adam was still angry, I could hear it seething through in his tone when he spoke. It hurt. I didn’t know how to deal with Adam like this… Hurt and angry and confused, broken like the mirror in front of him.

,, to be fair, he did bring a little of this on himself.” my brain scolded again and again, I ignored it. He may have been going off the rails for the past few weeks, but this chain of events, at least in my eyes, that was all started by friends who teased and ignored him.. Made him feel like less when honestly, he was so much more than the lot of them combined. They may have started to try and change at the end, but by then, it was clearly too late. Adam was lost by that point, drowning in his own misery. And Adam lashed out. Or he started trying to.

“No, but… I’m thirsty, I’m obviously not going out with a biker tonight and I need it. You’re not the only one with problems, you know.” I pouted at him, shaking my wrist free so quickly and easily that it had him blinking a little, and I uncapped the bottle again, pouring myself a little more to top off.

“So I’m selfish on top of everythin’ else. Good to know.” the tone in his voice and the fact that he didn’t even bother meeting my gaze had me sighing and swearing, even rolling my eyes a little in frustration. Every part of me wanted to scream at the guy “No, but obviously you’re fucking blind and a little dense, because I’ve been trying to start conversations and stuff with you for weeks now.. I’ve tried to build you up when they were tearing you down, but you ignored it because it’s not what you wanted to hear.” - but I managed to keep that internal.

I didn’t want to kick him while he was already down. I care far too much about him to do that.

,, and maybe you want to be the one who makes him forget about tonight, even if it’s only a few hours. Says a lot about you.. Mainly how pathetic you are.” my brain was at it again, scolding me for what I wanted. And again, I ignored the noisy scolding thoughts.

Instead, I focused on the glass filled with amber liquid sitting in front of me. Circling my black tipped fingers around it’s edge as I just let my mind sort of wander and hoped to God that it’s wandering came back with some form of game plan beyond the one I’d had coming in here to find him. Because literally all that had been was getting to him. Because it hurts me to see him hurt. He’s a sweet guy. A good guy. ,, A guy you could love if only you weren’t so scared to reveal your feelings.” this time my brain was taunting me. If I never actually do anything about my feelings, I’ll never have the chance to know.

And maybe that internalized taunting was enough to make the remaining shred of any pride I had left snap in two.

“Adam.” I spoke up quietly, snapping my fingers lightly  at him to get his attention.

“What?” Adam answered, eyes locked on me and in a daze. I bit my lip and leaned in a little, smoothing a blond curl out of his eyes, letting my hand catch on the side of his face. Catching sight of the two of us in the shattered mirror out of the corner of my eye had me giving a soft smiling laugh and shaking my head.

Just the contrast there, me with my dark crimson lipstick and the little black dress and the dark hair… The curves and yet still somehow inherently plain to look at according to most. The grumpy demeanor most of the time, the dry wit and sarcasm that’s more than once left many an other man eviscerated in public..

 Him with the sunny blondish brown hair and the dancing baby blue eyes, the gentle words and rough hands.. The holes in his jeans and the boots on his feet..That big heart and all those good intentions.

My laughter had him raising a brow, of course. I shrugged and raised the bottle to my lips, keeping my eyes locked on him the entire time I did it. I still somehow managed to miss the way he was leaning into me, teeth tugging at his lower lip, eyes darting from mine to the bottle raised to my lips. Until he was reaching out and trying to drunkenly pull me from my stool to his lap. I nearly choked mid-swallow and laughed out, “What the hell are you doing right now? This stool is not gonna hold my thick ass and you, sir.” 

“Figured since you keep takin my damn bottle, woman..” Adam managed a weak smile that still somehow managed to completely light up the space we were in. He finally got me settled on his lap and I bit my lip, finding myself hyper-focused on his mouth.. The way his upper lip forms this little almost perfect little v. I must have been too obvious with my staring, because he cleared his throat and nodded to where I’d tossed my red covered cell phone.

Which was now playing Fiona Apple’s Criminal.. Which obviously meant it was ringing, shit, fuck, shit, fuck…

What Adam said next absolutely surprised me. And it proved just how little I knew about how much he might know about me. He chuckled and nodded to the now silent phone and after a second, he took the bottle from my hand and raised it to his own lips again. We were sitting so close by now that we nearly pressed together, despite all earlier voiced objections about my size and the stool being able to hold both of us up.

“Didn’t you sing that song when you were out with Allie one night?”

“I..” I wrinkled my forehead and thought about it, giving a sheepish laugh when I remembered. “Yeah, I did. It sounded like cats dying.”

“Didn’t.” Adam muttered, taking another sip from the bottle, staring me down intently. I wrapped my hand around his wrist, guiding the bottle away from his mouth and towards my own and I took a sip as he tilted the bottle a little to allow me to do so. After I swallowed the bitter liquid, I laughed softly. “I most certainly did, sir.”

“You like t’ argue.” Adam chuckled softly, cocking his head to the side slightly, still staring at me intently. His gaze moved from my eyes down to my mouth and I swallowed hard, licking my lips on instinct.

“I’ve heard that now and again, yeah.” I wiggled around on his lap a little, trying to get a more sturdy seat because I was trying to keep a conservative and safe distance between us, but that was making me nearly fall off his lap. 

He sat the bottle down and scooted the stool closer to the bar, putting my back into it. He was inching closer, little by little. “Why?” he asked quietly, his breath warm against my lips, almost brushing against them when he mumbled his question.

“Why what?” I answered his question with one of my own, barely restraining a whimper at the fact that suddenly, I wasn’t sitting on his knees anymore, suddenly I was… So much closer. 

Had I moved closer or had he moved me closer? Because I remembered his hands kind of resting at my hip but I’d honestly been so caught up in our back and forth -and the fact that it was actually, ya know, happening, that I didn’t remember him moving me. I pulled away from his face just slightly because our faces were so close that our lips nearly brushed every time one of us said something to the other.

“Why’d you come in here? I know it wasn’t just to drink up all my whiskey. Or maybe it was.” Adam’s usually thick accent was… Much thicker. A slow and easy drawl that had me getting wetter with each word he spoke. When he reached for the bottle again and nearly fell into me, my breath caught in my throat but I held the bottle up and put it behind me, where I thought it would be out of his reach. 

And after lightly grabbing at his stubbled jawline and guiding him to look at me, not down or around the empty room, I bit my lip and took several shaky breaths. I swear, I meant to go with an attempt at humor, but the look in his eyes, the raw pain there, I just… Couldn’t. 

When my mouth opened, the truth just started to pour out.

“You’re right. I d-didn’t come down h-here to drink all your booze. I don’t even l-like this shit, honestly. I p-prefer Tito’s tequila.” I stopped to breathe because my words were tumbling out and I just needed to figure out a way to put what I knew was going to come pouring out at any second.

But nothing came.

Actions seemed easier. Actions, I was infinitely better at.

Obviously, right?

I was leaning in a little closer, his jaw still in my hands. The kicker here was that he wasn’t backing away like I half thought he would. No… He was leaning in too. His fingertips squeezing into my hips gently were what kind of bought me out of my own head and into the moment again 

“If you’re gonna do somethin, do it already, darlin.” Adam’s mouth brushed right.against.mine. Literally right against the corner. And it lingered there just long enough for me to whimper quietly as I slowly exhaled, my breath shaky. My eyes popped open wide and he bit his lip, eyeing my lips and then the bottle with this look in his eyes that made me think he couldn’t decide which he’d rather taste more right now.

And that crazy random thought took hold in my tipsy brain. As he started to back away, afraid he’d crossed a line, I gently grabbed hold of his face, resting a hand against each side, my mouth colliding against his, tongue darting out and tracing the shape of his mouth lazily. His lips fell apart easily and one of his hands left my hips to tangle in my hair, making me pout against his mouth and whine playfully, “Seriously? I just spent thirty minutes on teasing that up..” 

“Ya didn’t have to, either.” his tongue was now clashing against mine, colliding and battling for control of the kiss as he continued to drag his fingers through my hair and tug at it a little here and there. I suspect that he may have been doing it just to get a response from me, but I was too caught up in kissing him to give a damn. I wiggled in his lap a little, my legs wrapping around his hips and he sucked in a sharp breath, bucking into me from below.

If I thought his fingers were wound up in my hair before, now he was tugging a little more urgently, his hand on the back of my neck, pulling my mouth into his all over again so deep that I almost didn’t know if I was breathing on my own or he was doing it for me.

It was desperate, needy and yet, somehow it was still gentle and careful. Cautious. Like he wanted to do it for a while now, but he’d finally been presented the chance to do it.

The actions of a man who felt he had absolutely nothing left to lose.

I rubbed myself against him, whimpering into his mouth when I felt the way he strained hard at the blue jeans he wore. His mouth broke from mine to trail down my neck, muttering softly against my skin, teeth hooking in spots and patches and gingerly leaving clumsy little marks. 

His other hand wandered down, slipping up the short hem of my little black dress and I nipped at his lip, rubbing myself against his lap even more. His hand crept higher, cupping my core, squeezing and rubbing the flat of his hand against it and sending shivers rushing through me. “Mmm.” his tongue rolled around the edge of my ear, his lips catching on my earlobe as he muttered a quiet, “Stop me if..”

“Now why would I want to do that, hm?” I managed to breathe out the words, rocking myself against the hefty bulge in his jeans and the way he continued to squeeze and rub my aching cunt. I knew he had to feel the way I was dripping, literally flooded already. 

The stool gave a foreboding creak and I tensed a little against him. He chuckled and nodded to the half circle bench and the table nearby. “Okay, alright.” he stood up, my body wrapped around him with me clinging to him and my nails lightly digging into his shoulders because me, with the trust issues, has never really… let anyone carry me before… For any reason. 

“I’m not gonna drop ya.” Adam stated quietly.

“I know, just… never really let anyone carry me.” I muttered against his neck, my lips latching on a little, daring to leave just a hint of a mark behind. He sucked in a sharp breath and sat me down on the tabletop, stepping between my legs, his hands all over me.

The Jack Daniels sat on the bar across the room, getting warm. Neither of us were worried about it anymore.

He leaned into me a little more -or maybe I was clinging to him still, either way, and his hand was back up the hem of my dress. My head fell back and my eyes fluttered open and closed as I rocked myself against his hand. I gripped hold of his shirt and pulled him into me more, muttering against his mouth, “If you’re going to do something, Adam, do it… Please?”

“You’re sure?” Adam questioned breathlessly, fingertips brushing past my soaked panties, grazing right up and down my center as his mouth dove down, fixing on the front of my throat, leaving a tender little line of marks in the path his lips took down.

“Please?” I begged, my voice raising to a quiet moan that died to a laugh when our foreheads bumped together. He bit his lip and pulled back a little, staring at me for a few seconds that felt like they stretched out into forever. I eyed him right back, my heart kicking up a storm against my ribs, on the verge of nervous fidgeting and suddenly self conscious about every single little thing about me to the extreme.

I was a breath away from slipping off the table he’d sat me on and walking out but just as I got to that point, he seemed to sense it and step forward, looking down at me and then back at the door. “If you’re changin your mind, darlin. There’s the door.” 

He was appealing to me one last time. Giving me one last chance to back out. Considering that neither of us have anything to lose, I wasn’t about to take him up on it. I eyed him, a brow raised, clearly confused as to why he kept giving me opportunity after opportunity to leave and then, oh.. Then it hit me. 

And I ached for him.

Not just in the physical sense like his touches had driven me to. In the mental sense because I knew exactly where his mind was going right now… I knew it because it was a state my own seemed to stay in when it came to other people and the habit I have of judging myself against them. Often unfairly.

“Oh, Adam.” the words punctured the sliver of space between us softly, his name lingering just a second or two. I raised my hand to his cheek, letting my fingertips move over the sharp outline of his face, making my last stop his lips. As I dragged my index finger over the outline of those very kiss swollen lips, I made an effort to move myself as close to him as I could get, letting my legs circle his waist all over again. My head fell to the right slightly, exposing the left side of my neck.

I wasn’t an idiot, I saw the exact second those baby blue eyes settled hungrily on exposed and unmarked skin. Lowering my fingertip, I finally spoke again.

“If I were going to walk out, I never would’ve bothered coming in here, Hangman.” I took a deep breath that tried to hang in my throat a little at what I was doing and I rose up a little straighter, the hand resting against the side of his neck moving to the back of his head. Fingertips tangling gingerly in soft blondish-brown locks, tugging his mouth closer to mine. Adam leaned down a little, his lips clumsily ghosting along my neck, catching sporadically here and there. “This is really okay.. You.. Want this.” he asked the question quietly, the warmth of his breath and the drawl in his tone sending shivers through me.

I locked eyes with him as he pulled back slightly. “I’m not smashing my knee into your nuts, am I?” I gave a soft laugh at the end so he’d be able to differentiate between my usual grumpy demeanor and gentle teasing. A lot of people can’t where I’m concerned and the way Adam is hurting right now, I want the way I feel to be perfectly crystal clear.

I don’t want him to have a single reason to second-guess or keep stalling. I guess maybe in some ways, I was trying to force him to have to be the one to politely say this had gone too far and he wasn’t interested. Because like he needed to hear me say such a thing, I needed to hear him say it.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone had. I braced myself for him to find some polite excuse to put all this to a grinding halt, but instead, I got a quiet chuckle and Adam leaning in all over again, nearly putting my back flush with the table. When he bucked himself against me, I shivered and my teeth caught on my bottom lip as I stared up at him. His hands roamed up and down my thighs softly, a ginger attempt to push my little black dress upwards to my hips was made. My strap was slipping up top and Adam’s eyes caught on to that face. When his teeth grazed against my skin as they tugged the pesky falling strap completely down, I whimpered, squirming against him, desperate for more friction.

His hands dug into my hips, grinding me against him even more and at feeling the hefty bulge formed and straining against his jeans, I found myself whimpering even more, breathless, desperately arching my body and rubbing against him harder and faster. His grip on my body tightened and he bucked right back against me, his mouth moving over each of my collarbones and then right back up the front of my throat again. One of his hands slipped down to the exposed thin waistband of my underwear and with a careful tug, those were being torn away, tossed out onto the floor. 

As soon as it hit me that he wasn’t backing down or bowing out either, I reached up, pulling the front of his shirt apart, tugging it down his arms. It hit the floor beside my panties and as my lips latched onto his neck all over again, my hands dropped between us, going for the belt buckle at his waist. The soft clink of the metal buckle as I pulled it open echoed when it hit against the button below it. With slightly shaking fingers, I worked the button free and then the zipper. Adam’s mouth dug deeper against the breast he’d managed to expose a few minutes before and my head fell back, a sharp and prolonged whimper filling the air as soon as his jeans settled around his ankles and he was scooting me towards him on the table, his cock grazing right between both my dripping folds and sending a shiver of pleasure racing through my entire body. 

“Wish we didn’t have t’ hurry, darlin.” he drawled as his tongue circled my nipple, teeth scraping at it, tugging until it stood at a point. I was clinging to him by now, my arms around his neck, fingers buried in his hair. I met his gaze and swallowed hard, nodding.

Every part of me wanted to make some clever remark about a next time, but at the same time, every part of me didn’t dare because I knew this might just be happening due to the alcohol and Adam’s current emotional state and my own feelings about him.

I desperately wanted to believe there would be a next time. God did I want to. But I was realistic enough to know that there most likely wouldn’t be. And in that moment, I decided to just find some way to be okay with that. 

“Darlin?” he’d pulled away, he was studying me with a concerned look. I distracted myself with running my fingers over the outline of his muscular chest because I was mostly afraid if I looked up at him right now, I would wind up making this deeper and more emotional than it had to be.

But then he was raising a hand, tilting up my chin and making me look at him. He repeated himself a third time. “You’re sure…” his voice trailed off and he tensed a little, I could feel it because he was still holding me close to him as he could get me. I smiled and nodded, my fingers digging into his hair again, pulling his mouth back down to mine. “I’m absolutely sure. I want you. So much.” 

And I meant every single word when I said it.

My answer seemed to satisfy him and I rubbed myself against him a little more impatiently, urgently. “Please, Adam?”

“Fuck.” he gasped against my skin as he started to buck against me, the tip of his cock sinking into my cunt, making a moan bubble up from the depths of my throat as I dug in my fingertips just a little, adjusting to the size of him. He captured my mouth in a desperate and deep kiss and sank his cock in a little more, his fingertips digging into my hips as he pumped himself in and out, quietly groaning, growling my name, nipping at the side of my neck.

 “Feels so good, darlin. Hope,” his voice was drowned out by my needy whines and whimpering as he started to fuck into me deeper and a little faster, his cock strking against my spot and making me curl my toes against his ass just to get any kind of actual grip on anything and maybe alleviate the ache and desperate need for more friction. “You hope what?’ I asked the question softly, my words ripped from me in breathy gasps as his hips snapped against mine, burying himself even deeper inside with each thrust of his cock. 

“Hope I’m makin you feel good too.” he took a few seconds to say it. I took his face in my hands, our mouths colliding as I used my heels to drive him in even deeper, my back arching as I focused on kissing him until neither of us could breathe. As the kiss broke and we pulled our mouths apart to catch our breath, I muttered against his ear, “So amazing, Adam.” to answer his question. “Don’t fucking stop baby, please.” I urged him to keep going, harder and faster, and he obliged, picking up the pace with each time my heels dug into his ass. “Ugh, Adam, fuck.. You’re so fuckin big.” I moaned out at one point, a little louder than I meant to. Adam was quick to lean in, his mouth meeting mine again, swallowing up my loud moans and swearing in ecstasy as he chuckled against it, his own grunts and quiet needy groans being swallowed by me when I deepened the kiss and rubbed my body against his over and over again just because I love the way it felt… Softness against hardened muscles.

“Darlin, fuck.” he moaned out at one point and I whimpered in response, “Adam, don’t… Fuck, don’t stop. Right there.” as my head fell back and my fingers toyed with his hair and dug into his shoulders even more. He was really slamming into me at this point, the booth top I sat on creaking quietly, making me tense a little when I first noticed it. 

Adam slowed slightly when he noticed me tense up at a particularly loud creak from the table, a quiet chuckle against the shell of my ear. “Stop doin that.”

“I can’t help that this table sounds like it’s on it’s last legs, Adam.” I answered, nipping at his bottom lip. 

“Trust me, darlin. I’m not gonna let you hit the ground.” Adam muttered as his lips locked on my upper lip, sucking. He started to slam into me all over again, erratically, faster and so much harder. When he scooted me even closer to the table’s edge, I caught myself making a surprisingly minimal effort  not to tense up.

To do as he asked and trust him not to drop me. It surprised me that trusting him was a lot easier than I thought. He chuckled as he held me up, a leg over each arm, continuing to plow into me with erratic hip snaps met by my own erratic thrusts in response. My breath kept catching in my throat and every single time I thought I’d be able to breathe again, he’d manage to bottom out, his cock striking against my spot a time or two and sending me even closer to an orgasm so intense that I ached to let go.

“I’m so close.” he growled against my ear while staring into my eyes. I clung to him desperately, rocking my hips greedily against the deep drives in and out that his cock made, my stomach tensing a little more with each second closer I got to my orgasm finally shattering me. “Fuck this feels so good.. Ahh.” I moaned out as my head fell back and Adam sat me halfway onto the table’s edge again, tilting my hips and letting my wrap my legs back around his waist, his hands pumping my body up and down on his cock, his fingertips leaving red marks against my skin as they dug in harder. His cock bottomed out and I felt myself starting to shake, my body tensing as I fought to keep from getting off.

“Let go. C’mon, darlin.” Adam grunted lazily against my mouth as he went in for another kiss, his breathy groan swallowed by my mouth when I returned the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, fingers going to his hair, tugging at it lightly. He didn’t need to repeat himself, with another deep drive into my dripping cunt, my orgasm was shattering through, leaving me breathless and clinging to him, my teeth grazing against his collarbone as I rested my head against his shoulder and continued to fuck through my orgasm while pulling myself together….

[oofchris]

⌠ MADISON BAILEY, 19, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, CHRISTINA ' CHRIS ' ANDERSON! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MACGYVER SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION + PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( speckles of dried paint on fingers, cruising round on a longboard, joints tucked behind ears wrapped in colourful papers ). when it’s the ( sagittarius )’s birthday on 12/27/2001, they always request their PHO from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ mochi, 24, she/her, gmt ⍀

@gallagherintro​

hi uwu, here is a new baby who is not very baby but still a lil baby

 . . . it got quite long so tldr; she’s a stubborn art hoe from california who’s dad died so she’s come to gallagher bc her mom is a professor in the p+e major <3 

parallels

wyldstyle  — the lego movie: 85%

mulan — mulan: 84%

nymphadora tonks — harry potter: 83%

princess fiona — shrek: 83%

robin buckley — stranger things: 82%

here is a full list

HISTORY

potential triggers — car accident, parental death, divorce

so she’s grown up on on the west coast p much ??? her whole life. her mom worked as a bodyguard for sum famous peeps, dad was doctor but occasionally also a medic in the field — they didn’t always see eye to eye and divorced when chris was around nine. it was mostly to do with chris’ future like whether she’d go to spy prep school and follow in their footsteps and her dad didn’t want that for her so they disagreed, and she lived with him instead, living a more or less normal life. her mom then moved away when the opportunity to become a professor at gallagher presented itself, so they’ve really not been close at all since then

lived fairly comfortably, either way her dad had money and her mom sent support too. her father definitely earns less from no longer being in the spy world but he vowed to leave that behind when he divorced his wife and other than a few people from his past popping up unannounced, he kept that vow. they moved around a couple times in order to keep chris safe, and especially when someone did find them ( even if it was friendly ) but mostly grew up in california, and a lot of it is to do with the fact chris loves it there so much

but chris knows about the spy world, what her mom does and the type of school she works at, but it never interested her enough to try and reach out or fight her dad on it as she enjoyed her life 

she remembers her mom as someone stubborn, argumentative, volatile which is the opposite of her dad who was patient, loving and endearing — so it’s a no brainer for her, she loves her dad a lot and he gave up a lot for her while her mom gave chris up for that world, her job, etc aka nada

BUT her dad died in a car accident recently that she was also in but was only a bit beaten up at most ( has some cuts / new scars, learn more below ) leaving her mother to swiftly pick her up and enrol her into gallagher, more to keep an eye on her than anything. 

her mom chose her majors and some of her classes for her, which chris is mad about, but mainly bc looking at what ones were offered she’d def pick macgyver anyway, and her mom argued p+e was a step into the physical and combat side of thing without being too heavy on it ( tho it’s the major she teaches so she’s biased and chris just thinks she wants to be closer ) but tbh ? chris just doesn’t want her mom to be right whatsoever or have the satisfaction of thinking she knows her daughter in anyway at all but she knows if she went undecided she’d probably pick those up again in her second year so she’s just ‘ going with it ‘ begrudgingly as if she has no choice

PERSONALITY

extremely stubborn, which she gets from her mom, would rather ruin her life than go back on something or admit she was wrong, if she apologises for something she'll find a way to do it where she's not actually ever saying the words ' im sorry ' or ' i was wrong ' and would rather start another argument than do that — but obviously she loves other people apologising to her

she is generally nice ??? i just think she can be irritated easy ?????? like a bit of a hot head tho she'd argue she's chill, she is mostly chill but likes to debate, be right, and can be very my way or the high way at times — i’ll figure her out more as i play her bc i can’t tell if she’s mean or not but i don’t think so, just a bit tougher than she needs to be 

in my head she’s like a seb/luc hybrid so . . . take that as you will 

doesn’t dislike gallagher ( mostly ) but thinks all the legacies — even tho she technically is one, she doesn’t identify as one — are entitled spoiled brats and should get their heads out of their ass, doesn't like that being a legacy is even a thing though a lot of it definitely comes from her bitter resentment towards her mom and how she'd have rather leave her and her dad than leave the spy life hbsjhbsjhb also i think bc of her mom she has level 5 clearance which . . . she’s not complaining about but definitely complaining that clearance levels are even a thing, she’s gonna contradict herself a lot, i feel it

MISC

i THINK she’s only arrived, like, at the start of spring semester tbh, she wasn’t here for fall so she is new new

halfway through her first year at stanford studying art alongside film and media as a minor before her mom brought her to gallagher — which she's kind of not happy about like she understands her dad didn't want it for her, she also wanted to just stay in california but the only family she has now is on her mom's side.

she's still enrolled at stanford, though dropped her minor, and is studying online for her major as she's made it clear to her mom she doesn't want to be a spy so she pulled a few strings with the stanford admission board to allow her studying to continue ( idek if this is allowed i'm just pretending her mom is powerful enough to do it ) — it was a big reason chris agreed to come to gallagher, not that she had much of a choice, bc she wants her ‘ normal ‘ life and her ‘ normal ‘ degree regardless of being at a spy school

only her mom calls her christina and she actually hates it so pls dont unless you are trying to get on her bad side — also she probs avoids her mom like the plague so don’t bring that up either

often covered in little cuts and bruises from her skating but she’s got two fresh / soon to be scars on the left side of her face on the top of her cheek bone and on her jaw from a shards of glass when she was in the car accident — she is the type to pick her scabs until they bleed again, too, so i picture her with loads of little scars especially on her hands, elbows and knees

she did learn self defense from her dad growing up and she has studied jiujitsu and akido since she was around thirteen, she also boxes but it's more casual like for stress and stuff rather than something she takes overly seriously

she likes surfing, diving, enjoys the kind of world that exists underwater where it's just peaceful and calm so she will be around the lake a lot / at the pool if you need to find her

she’s 5’3 and never wears heels

pansexual and while it might change i wanna say she's not overly sexual, like wouldn't have hookups for no reason ?? but potentially some one night stands or drunken mistakes or whatever. doesn't look down on sluts but i think she doesn't have the most confidence in that area, or in self esteem in general, so she'll ??? only really have a frequent thing if she feels Hella comfortable

the type to have crushes tho, but not act on them at all bc again self esteem issues 

bit of a tomboy, skater, stoner — though she wouldn't identify as one — really loves movies and can be a proper filmophile, probably has more film soundtracks on her spotify unwrapped than she does actual artists and don't get her started on Women— in film bc she won't stop 

very active, sporty, probs trying to parkour around campus

enjoys painting, sketching, simply creating things — often is filming, riding a longboard, working on some kind of little project she'll take too seriously but won't show people until it's perfect

is a little pretentious at times ??? doesn't necessarily mean to be but if it's a debate on a topic she's passionate about ( such as art, film, etc ) then she will try to ensure you know just how knowledgeable she is on it, she's not afraid to flex but she wouldn't outwardly flex for no reason if that makes sense 

she also . . . feels p dumb at gallagher tbh, a lot of her strengths lie in her creativity and art and now she’s very ??? wtf am i doing ?? but she will continue to act like she knows !

can speak english, french, german and spanish all pretty fluently, italian well enough to get by, knows a bit of japanese bc she’s . . . a weeb sometimes but also bc of her martial arts

CONNECTIONS

FAMILY / CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ( SPY ) — so this would more than likely be before her parents divorce, but she’s not against keeping in contact a little if she liked you, it could have also been a family who reached out to her dad afterwards because while he’d move away / hide his location promptly after, he would still help them if they needed it ( 1 / ? )

FAMILY / CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ( NON SPY ) — same thing, but would have probably been after the divorce, just normal families that her and her dad knew, neighbours, work colleagues, school friends, would more than likely have also needed to be west coast sorta area but if your muse was there briefly, they could have kept in contact once they’d left ( 0 / ? )

LEGACIES — she potentially . . . won’t like you if you’re a legacy and you are egotistical / assholey even a tiny bit, bc that basically proves her argument that they’re ALL like that jshbjsbjs but i wud like her to have legacies that she . . . hates that she likes as well, i think she’ll realise p quickly most are fine lmao

ART HOES — whether they’re into painting as well and they do it together or they let her paint them !

SMOKE / SKATE BUDS — one or the other, both, whatever !! 

A HOOK UP THAT’S EITHER ALREADY HAPPENED OR GOING TO — in my head she’s a bit ??? w sex tbh so maybe plot this out a bit more but can be a ?? positive relationship or a negative one idm

CRUSHES !!!!!!!!! — she’s not even been at the school long but im certain she probs has some already

i’m not good w wanted connections so pls just hmu if u have ideas and as usual like dis for plots / jus message me, i’ll be on discord !! if you don’t have/use discord just message me first on tumblr bc otherwise i wont realise jhbsjhbjhbsj

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[bluejaysfeathers]

There’s something that has been on my mind for a while and it’s still not letting me sleep so I want to talk about it a little, and that’s the reasons that Twitch Partner X33N decided to ban me from his community. There’s a few things I want to clarify from the beginning. First, he is not obligated to be my friend, because that’s not how friendship works. If he feels that what I said to his moderator was a betrayal then, well, that’s not what I intended, but I quite literally cannot stop him. Second, this is not about what Karacorvus said. X33N has made it very clear that he doesn’t think her words were transphobic, and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. And finally, this is not me accusing him of being transphobic. I fully believe that he has always had good intentions toward the trans/nb community and he has been very apologetic in the past about his difficulty with they/them pronouns. People can not find things transphobic without being transphobes themselves.

So. Depending on where you want to get into it, this story begins two years ago, or a year and a half ago, or last summer, or a month ago. Frankly, thinking about the good times we had and the advice he gave me about my mental health just hurts right now, so I’ll skip over the details, but suffice it to say that this man knew some extremely personal things about me and I trusted him implicitly. Last summer, given the state of the world with the pandemic as well as his perfectly understandable personal stress, his streams shifted away from the focus on the community and mental health as he, in his own words, began to rely on streaming with others to make up the energy. At the time, I tried to bring it up to him and was essentially told that he wasn’t forcing me to watch, and that the focus was shifting due to his energy levels. Before that I had been a dedicated viewer of every stream I could catch, but after that I started skipping a few of the more obviously non-community-focused streams. Which brings us to the last-summer portion of the beginning of this story. I’m starting here because he seems to include it in his reasoning, and because it seems to have colored his view of everything I did since then, including an incident that involved several friends of mine who were not him. Essentially, after a while of seeing that nothing was changing, I messaged a moderator (whose last message to me before this had been “I never reveal my sources”) something along the lines of ‘do you think X33N would even notice if we all didn’t show up one night bc that’s what’s going to happen if he keeps this up.’ (I’m not going back through long deleted dms to find exact wordings). This moderator took my message to X33N without my knowledge. He messaged me, ostensibly to “check in” which made me happier than I care to remember, because at the time I had been struggling as had everyone, and it was nice to think that someone had noticed and cared enough to check on me. But alas, it turned out to be a secret test as to whether I would tell him what I’d said, and when I didn’t do so he viewed that as a betrayal and dishonest. It took some time and communication for that one as it felt like all the honesty I had given him was being tossed aside, but we did talk it out, and as far as I could tell, went back to a slightly bruised but recovering friendship.

This should lead into the aforementioned situation involving people that were not him, but at least one of them would be genuinely endangered by that situation becoming public so I will summarize it as drama, which a mutual friend mentioned to X33N and then brought his reaction to me. His reaction had seemed upset with me, so I reached out to apologize and X33N reassured me that he hadn’t been upset and just wanted to point out to the mutual friend that he knew what was going on. Cut to the next day (or the day after? My sense of time last year was... well, about where everyone’s was) and X33N was asking other mutual friends whether I was leading a conspiracy to get him to add me back on snap (this conspiracy was news to me but whatever) and accusing me of fomenting drama because... honestly this is one of those times where I don’t care to speculate on his motives, he said a lot of things very fast while I was tilted about the snapchat conspiracy and I don’t think I correctly grasped why he was upset with me, but I distinctly remember him bringing up the previous ‘betrayal.’ This was also when I stopped joining in the community among us games, which seemed fine by everyone involved.

All this apparently came to a head about a month(?) ago, when he, karacorvus, and some others were trying a new game. Kara said to one of the other streamers, a man who had seemed perfectly happy with his character model, would he please change his character to a man, etc. There was some uncomfortable laughter, Kara doubled down on her comments, a friend messaged me to tell me they had been uncomfortable with it as well, and I took the problem to a friend of mine who X33N had modded and who I trusted to handle the situation. This mod told me that I had not been the only one uncomfortable, and, when I said that I had been surprised to hear such comments on X33N’s stream pass unchallenged, replied by pointing out that Kara had a big community. I replied with something along the lines of ‘well... there was a time when that wouldn’t have mattered more than his allyship but I guess a lot has fucking changed with his priorities’ and the discussion moved on, seemingly productively, and ended on a friendly “thanks for bringing this to me/no thank you for taking it seriously,” and I didn’t think much more of it, although I did resolve to ask X33N about the whole well she has a big community comment the next day if he seemed in a decent mood. Maybe if I’d talked to him that night things would’ve gone differently, maybe my fate was sealed as soon as I was given the no-win statement of ‘she has a big community’ and put in the position of arguing with a mod or agreeing that X33N would change his mind on his statements of his community being welcoming to all in pursuit of someone else’s community. I’ll never know, I guess, because as I was saying goodnight to my friend X33N messaged me to tell me he was banning me over my pattern of betraying him behind his back. He kicked me from his server and had me blocked before I had even shaken off my shock and confusion- remember, at the time I had no idea what would trigger this, his last words to me had been ‘we totally good yo’ and my conversation with his moderator had seemingly ended amicably. It’s only now, after some very dear friends didn’t buy in to what he said about me in his discord (that I had been sowing discontent among “community memberS” about him “not making a stink” over “comments bluejay felt were insensitive”) that I am able to know that it was that part of that conversation that he was upset by. According to those who spoke with him, it’s not clear that he even knew I said what I did in reaction to his moderator claiming he would let transphobia slide because karacorvus has a big community, and I’m not sure I’ll ever know because the moderator I spoke to also blocked me. Which means that I lost two friends that night, not even counting the multiple people who believed his side of things from his discord without hearing me out. I can’t say that I blame them, I would’ve struggled to believe it myself.

There’s a part of me that still hopes X33N will realize that what I said was the best I could do in response to the situation I was given and reach out, but I kind of doubt it. I messaged him from an alt account, admittedly rather angrily, to ask that he at the very least correct what he said about me in his discord, and he had my alt banned from the server we’d had in common and seemed very sure of his position. As I said, he doesn’t have to be my friend, but I wish that he hadn’t taken such steps to harm my friendships with others from his community, and the fact that he has no obligation doesn’t stop me from missing the parts of our friendship that were good- I know I haven’t really laid them out here, but I was genuinely thankful for whatever power led me to him, and we did have good times. Both the serious mental health kinds and the playful friendly competition in beatsaber kinds, and many in between. I miss him and I hope he one day sees that his friends can bring up issues from his streams with his mods without it being a personal attack on their friendships. But most of all, I hope that by writing all this down it will stop bouncing around in my head.