#bc it gives notifications when stuff is done

[piknim]

Being an adult is buying a new washer and dryer and being so excited about it fjsbsbsbsb

[mejaemin]

헤어져 ( •̀ ᴗ •́ ) - pfu

wc: 1.5k

summary: pulling a “let’s break up” prank on bf!svt !! | pfu ver | hhu ver | vcu ver |

warnings: not proofread, breaking hearts UGH THEYRE TOO SOFT CUTIE FOR THIS I CANT, no real breakups, angst? kinda? not really? fear of breaking up, lmk if anything should fr be tagged

an: i lowkey hate how juju’s turned out … but it’s okay!!! i really wanted to get this done bc i found the req funny because just hearing the words “break up” reminds me of the kungkungdda video with atz yunho saying 헤어져… its lit been stuck in my head since the req came in

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

soonyoung

oh my love, he’d be so confused

you’re lucky the trend happens over text because if you did it in person and saw the pout on his face you’d give in right away !!!

he’s opening his phone after waking up in the morning, swiping his palm over his nose and the rest of his face before checking his notifications, when his heart drops

the first one, from you, saying “let’s talk” … quite ominous, no?

immediately he’s going to your house without asking to go and settle whatever he did right away.

you’ve already distracted yourself, staying busy with absolutely nothing while you leave your phone alone to build suspense. you nearly jump out of your socks when your front door starts wiggling, nearly falling out of the frame when it opens. turning around, you’re met with soonyoung, who’s extremely out of breath, clothes all mismatched as he stands in the doorway.

you rush over to him, “youngie, what are you-“

he cuts you off, grabbing you by your shoulders a little too roughly. his look is so intense yet anxious that he might put a dent in his forehead. “i’m really sorry. whatever i did, please forgive me. but you can’t- well you can, but- just please don’t break up with me, okay?”

immediately upon seeing his face, puffy from sleep and all wrinkled up in concern, you fold, taking him into your arms tightly. “oh soonie, i was joking, i promise.” you kiss his cheek, and his head turns so it lands on his lips. “you didn’t do anything, baby.”

he pulls his head back just enough to look in your eyes, eyebrow raised. “do you promise?”

with his cheeks between your palms you nod, pressing your lips to his forehead, holding them there to show you’re being genuine. “of course. i could never leave you, soonyoung.”

junhui

jun is always so quick to answer your text messages, leaving no time in between before answering you

clearly, when you send him a message saying “let’s break up”, his heart drops faster than it took for him to open the message.

immediately he’s sending a message, full of reassuring words.

“i’m so sorry that something happened to make you feel this way. i’ll be over shortly to talk about it, okay? hang tight, i’ll pick some stuff up on the way. just don’t give up, okay?”

you’re already regretting this at his words, feeling so much love for junhui and the way he takes you so seriously. he may be silly a lot of the time, but he handles serious moments so well. your heart genuinely hurts at the fact that he’s probably so worried right now, and all you’re doing is pranking him. when he gets here, you’ll make sure to give him relief.

there’s a knock on your door, and you rush to open it. junhui is standing there with a small bouquet of flowers and a bag with what appears to be snacks. “i know you might not be interested now, but here.. can we try fixing this?”

once you let him in he sets them down, and as soon as he turns around you’re taking his hands. immediately you’re confessing, seeing his unsure face. “juju.. i was joking. i saw people pranking on tiktok, and i-“

“ahh, i see. i was actually really scared just now.” he chuckles softly, cutting you off. “but forreal, it’s hard to tell tone over text. i’d rather you prank me like that in real life, okay?”

the anxiety fades away, and you’re both all smiles again. since he’s already with you, you sit down together for the rest of the night and spend it watching shows and eating what were supposed to be your break-up snacks.

minghao

we all know minghao’s heart is too tough for a prank as simple and common as this

of course, like anyone who’s madly on love, his heart will pick up at first, but he’s too observant!

you both established healthy methods to communicate the way you were feeling if something about the relationship made you uncomfortable, so when all these keywords and behaviors are suddenly thrown out the window his flags go up

you and him both take preserving the relationship and each other’s feelings seriously so you would never just say “i want to break up”

thus, he plays along

minghao is sitting across from you on the couch, reading a book when you call his name. he looks up, and when he hears you say you want to break up with him, an alarm goes off in his head. he closes the book and sits up straight, grabbing your hands to have a proper conversation.

“can i ask what makes you want to?” he’s so genuine, true concern in his eyes as he tries to hear you out.

you look in your lap, hiding your face while trying to keep up the theatrics. “i just.. don’t feel a spark anymore. i’m falling out of love.”

it’s that sentence that makes him realize what you’re doing. you both agreed that whenever a conversation of this scale occurs, you wouldn’t be vague about whatever you’re feeling. you’d communicate clearly, and make an effort to find a solution.

hiding his smirk, he nods, sighing heavily. “ah, okay. i understand. i’ll give you your space then.” he gets up, a solemn look on his face as he heads to your bedroom. as soon as his back is to you, he’s smirking, amused at the thought of waiting to see how long it’ll take before you crack.

clearly, it’s not long, because as soon as he shuts the door you’re up and running towards him. the door nearly breaks with how rushed you are at opening it, immediately crashing into him. “hao, oh my god, please, i was joking! don’t give me space, please, i don’t want it-“

he cuts you off, grabbing you by your chin to kiss you. “oh, i know, darling. i know every little thing about you, like what you do when you’re trying to trick me. now, let’s not do that again, okay? because i’ll gladly do it back.”

dino

just the idea of pranking chan in this way hurts your heart :(( he’s such a sweet boy !! however…

jeonghan waved quite the pretty penny in front of your face, claiming that it will be yours if you pull the prank on him.

you are very aware of chan being unable to catch a break when it comes to being pranked, but you could only pray that with this nice amount of money, he’ll understand

pulling the prank was definitely painful, though

you’re at an outing with chan and his brothers, hanging out at the porch of a getaway home with some of them. you’re by a fire, drinks in hand as you all chat. when chan notices that your cup is empty, he wordlessly takes it from you to go fill it.

as soon as he leaves, you feel a tap on your shoulder. turning your head, jeonghan is sitting next to you, waving his hand for you to lean in. “i’ll give you…” he digs into his pocket, finding nothing and then reaching into seungcheol’s, taking out a wad of cash and holding it in front of you. “this if you tell chan you want break up.”

immediately you’re looking at him with a bewildered look. why would you ever fumble the sweetest man in the world for money? he’s chuckling at your reaction, waving a hand dismissively. “all jokes, of course, but if you really get him i’ll give you all that. for real.”

jeonghan waves it in front of you once again, and you’ve seen how fat seungcheol’s wallet is. and a few of the digits on those bills were pretty large, so… chan will understand, right? maybe scaring him a little for all this will be worth it, right? you can go out together with your winnings…

you sigh, nodding your head. “fine. but if it ends bad, you’ll clean up the mess. and then i’ll kill you.” you smile, shaking his hand before turning to chan who finally returned.

he hands you your drink with a kids to your forehead before sitting down. “what were you guys talking about?” he’s smiling so sweetly at you, and it makes your heart literally hurt at what you’re about to do.

“chan, i think we should break up.” you’re almost grimacing at yourself, and at that sentence everyone around the fire stops talking. no way the couple who makes everyone believe in true love is about to split.

“um, what..? are you..” he can’t even finish his sentence, swallowing heavily as his vision almost starts shaking.

immediately, being unable to take the torture anymore, you turn to jeonghan, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him vigorously. through many complaints, whining and yelling at the elder, you grab the aforementioned money from his pocket.

triumphantly you kiss chan on the lips, pulling away and showing him your new prize. “i’m so, so sorry, channie, truly i would never break up with you, but look what he offered! please say you understand…”

immediately your boyfriend relaxes, eyes narrowing as he looks at the man behind you. “watch your back, han. seriously. that money almost went towards my funeral funds, i swear.”

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

[thatonecrazysidekick]

ALDKFSLFNCSKSNSKSNSN YOU'RE TOO NICE, I'M SQUEALING--

Seriously, I've reread this like, four times in its entirety and have NOT succeeded in wanting to bouncing around my room flapping my hands like a bird any less each time LOL

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE ITTTT!!!!!

@sunfloweraro I did it. I finally colored it in.

(Scene from this lovely snippet!!)

[torialefay]

comments and thoughts on the channie content from today's jpn fanmeet?

He’s been so into his “cutie boy” era and I’m honestly here for it. And ofc I love his curly hair the most, but I am really liking the straightened hairstyle he’s had over the last little bit. It actually has been feeding my delusions bc remember him talking about how he’d love to wear his hair out more, but he just doesn’t know how to style it? Well I could figure out the curly routine, but his straightened style??? Easy. Like lemme do it for you baby 🥺 Plus the video of him almost kissing Binnie’s hand ughhhhh

Because imagine having a lazy morning with Channie & you end up doing his hair 🥺🫶🏼

The two of you had stayed up late playing games, drinking, telling stories, and talking into the darkest hours of the night.

When you’d woken up in the morning, the sun was peaking through the back of the blackout curtains in Chan’s bedroom. Your movements woke him up as well.

“Morning baby,” he’d whispered sweetly in his crackly morning voice before reaching his arms around you to pull you in closer to him. You’d let your head rest in his chest as he nuzzled his chin onto your forehead with a smile.

“Good morning,” you’d tried to say back, the words getting lost in the barrier of his bare skin. Your brain was still foggy, but your heart was content beating next to his.

“What do you wanna do today?” he’d mumbled, squeezing you a bit harder before resting with you in an even tighter embrace.

“This,” you smiled, planting a soft kiss to the skin in the middle of his chest.

“Mmm good,” he whispered, moving one hand to hold taut to the area between your lower back and your ass. “Back to bed, angel,” he managed to get out while grinning to himself.

A few hours later, once you’d both began to stir, Chan checked his phone, scrolling through the notifications, one after one. He’d absentmindedly opened TikTok to start watching videos with you. It’s something you’d done time and time again. Chan’s algorithm was different than yours to say the least. Random gaming videos, sports reels, music stuff, etc. The one thing you had in common on the platform was recommended STAY edits. And every time Chan skipped a sexy edit of himself, you pouted until he went back and let you watch it. Of course you had to tease him a bit afterwards, rubbing your hand up and down his torso. “Look at my fine mannn,” you’d teased, pulling back with a big smile on your face.

“Hush,” Chan rolled his eyes, lazily grinning before pulling you back to him so you couldn’t say another word.

Later, he’d received a text from Felix saying that a few of the boys wanted to check out a new gallery that had opened up about an hour away. He’d asked if you and Chan would like to go.

“I’m more than content with just laying here with you, baby,” Chan said, leaving the decision up to you.

“I am too… But it could be fun if you wanna go,” you looked at him with big eyes, excited that you’d been included in the plans.

“We’d better get ready then,” he’d said before stretching his arms out above his head. “I think they’re wanting to leave in a little over an hour.”

45 minutes later, and you were finishing your makep as you saw Chris walk out of the bathroom toward his closet, wearing only his shorts. You watched the outline of his back from your makeup mirror as he sorted through shirts before pulling one over his head and down his torso. He grabbed a beanie from the shelf and chucked it on as well. The way his muscles flexed as they were reaching up was a sight you’d never get over. After giving himself a one-over in his long mirror, he walked behind you and plopped onto the bed, waiting for you to be ready.

One final brush stroke of mascara and you were done. You turned in your chair to face your boyfriend. “Your hair is so cute baby. Why don’t you wear it out today?”

Chan blushed a bit before looking down. He always got like this when the hair conversation came up.

“You know I don’t know how to style my hair,” his voice went up as he spoke, still feeling shy. “It’s got a mind of it’s own right now… And every other day as well.”

“Well lucky for youuu-“ you dragged out as you stood and walked to stand in front of your boyfriend. “I can do it for you! Please please pleaseeee,” you plead, grabbing his hands to squeeze them.

He giggled, giving into you waving his hands up and down. “Okay, okay, you can give it a go. I trust you to do me right, yeah?” he joked.

Your whole face perked up at his agreeance, giving a couple of quick claps before running into the bathroom. You sorted through your things before returning to the bed where he was sat.

“Okay SO, there’s good news and bad news. Bad news is that I only have stuff to straighten hair. Good news is we can go buy some curly hair products once we get done with the boys!” you said excitedly, reveling in your new-found service. “We’re gonna curly girl method you! I’ve always wanted to try it!”

“You’re gonna do what to me?” Chan asked, half laughing but half squinting his eyes in confusion.

“You’ll see.” You walked to the bed to grab a pillow and set it in the floor just between the bed and your makeup table.

“Alright baby,” you said as you plugged your straightener into the outlet, “you sit on the pillow and I’ll get you all squared away.”

Chan did as he was told and shimmied down to sit cross-legged on the pillow. As you situated yourself into the bed behind him, you instructed him to lean back into you, wrapping your legs around him in the process. “Gotta hold you still for good measure,” you grinned.

After peeling Chan’s beanie off, you gave his scalp a quick rub, earning a light moan in response. You took your time combing through his hair, adding some heat protection and a silkening gloss before running the styling tool through it. You made sure you were on the lowest heat setting and were as gentle as you could be. You didn’t want to throw his natural pattern too far off.

Once you’d finished, you made sure to add some holding spray to make sure it would last him the day. “Alright, final check,” you said, swooping your feet out and turning them so you could land in front of him. You let yourself fall down to your knees so that you were straddling his lap. “Okay now look at me,” you instructed. Without really giving him time to cooperate, you placed your hands at his jaw to tilt his head up to eye level with you.

“Perfect,” you smiled, admiring how handsome he looked with his hair on display. “Now tell me-“ you strained as you reached backward to grab a mirror off of your table. “If there’s anything you want me to change,” you said, holding the mirror out to Chan.

He took it carefully before bringing it to his head. He swerved it around, making sure to check every angle. “Wow,” he smiled before lowering the mirror, “you did a good job, babe. It looks really good. Thank you,” he said sweetly before reaching out to grab your hand. He held it so softly, so tenderly before holding it up in front of his lips. He pressed a small kiss onto the back of your hand as he watched you, thanking you again silently with his eyes.

The gesture put a wide grin on your face. You squeezed onto his hand again before leaning into a hug. “You don’t need to thank me, I’d do it any day. But next time…” you said, pulling back, “we’re leaving your curls, okay?” You lightly scratched the back of his neck.

A little smile spread across him. “If you think you can manage it.”

“Oh, you’re gonna love it by the time I’m done with you,” you teased.

Chan wrapped one arm around your waist, letting the other hand trail down to rest on your ass. He held tightly as he pulled you closer on his lap. “I like the sound of that.”

[megsdoodletag]

I feel practically exploitative re: you posting all this Morty art; do you have a tip jar or anything?? Like the girlies are DEVOURING IT, I just feel rude continuously asking for more

(hey I remembered csp has proper comic options! my shit will now be Legible. yippee, etc.)

ahhh ya'll r too kind...I do have an ancient kofi somewhere but do NOT feel pressured to do anything with that, these r just fun doodles, for Fun. Trust me when I say if I did not want to do something it would Not Get Done. If I ever got a request I didn't like I would simply say 'not for me, sorry!' and there would be no hard feelings.

BUT. since you asked. top non-monetary forms of compensation are:

a) reblogs with tags/comments (I do little happy dance every time notification number goes up, double that if there's incoherent screaming involved. ya'll are doing great on that front i'm having so much fun already :3c ) b) oc/personal canon interaction. I have 200+ named ocs, fandom and original. most of the fandom ones are involved in relatively extensive plots. ask me if they know canon characters. ask me stupid shit. ask me plot questions. ask them questions. whatever. you're here from 40k so juno and her gang would be the group of interest. I have 17k words worth of stuff for her already written, they're just not posted bc they're not chronological within the overarching plot. but just in case you needed proof for how insane i Can and Will be given the chance. c) if you want me to love u forever and ever, giving me any excuse to talk about Z will do that!!! He is a non-fandom oc but he is designed for crossover stuff so he's around. Right now he's. Uh. [checks notes] terrorizing nightlords. i think.

[the-ellia-west]

Happy 610 to me!

And to celebrateeeeee:

For the Month of April, and maybe longer, I will be Going On Hiatus (Yes again), I will log back in every other Friday to make an update post on myself and my WIPs. I will not be checking my notes, asks, or Notifications until I'm back for good.

You can contact me at Discord @ ellia_west if you like! Just tell me your Tumblr Username or else I might block you. But I will not be on Tumblr, and when I am, Let's just say I'll make my presence known. <3 [I will be on for about an Hour after I post this, 3/28/2025]

For now,

(I left a message for all the Moots I remember off the top of my head)

-

@sunflowerrosy You're my best friend and ILYSM, Everything you've said and done to help me. You've been there no matter what and you're always so kind and patient. You're so brilliant and determined and such a lovely person to talk to and be around no matter what. Your WIPs are some of my favorite things I've ever read and talked about and helped with and I hope we never stop being friends, and I thank God for us meeting. You've been so Fun to Watch ATLA with, I look forward to talking to you when I get the chance, and Yapping about our WIPs together is one of my favorite things, the games, the Characters, your personality, and the random talking about mundane life. I'm praying for you and I hope one day I can give you a hug myself.

@homelessnerd You've been here a while and through it all you're pointing me back to God, telling me the things I sometimes don't want to hear, and making sure I know how much he loves me, recommending me shows and doing your best to make time for me even though I don't deserve it. You may not be here as often as some of my other friends, but I smile whenever I see your messages and I love talking to you <3 I thank God that he let me meet you and I thank you for pushing me back to him when I didn't want to.

@carb0n-m0n0xide I've never had a friend who made me laugh so hard, Your absolutely wacky (In a good way) stuff always puts a smile on my face, and I love seeing and listening to you. Your messages and the typos and every thank you and Shouted brainstorming session adds a wonderful level of chaos to my life I never knew I needed. But you somehow also always know what to say when I feel down and I honestly couldn't wish for many better friends (Go. To. Bed.) Also, it's unfair. Why do you get all the skill? Share. Pls. /j (Thank you Jesus for letting me Meet Carbon, she's brightened my days so much even if she doesn't know it)

@theweirdbox123 You're a new friend, and I almost didn't talk to you because I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me, But you've been one of the most fun and supportive people to me, You might not see it now, But you being open about being sensitive, despite you disliking, has given me the courage and the feeling to open myself back up to my sensitive side and If I'm honest, I think I learned how to cry again because of you, and I'm so, so glad to have somebody like me who's near me and kind enough to listen and help.

@supercimi I know you're nervous and you apologize a lot because you think you hurt my feelings, But honestly in all my life until recently, I have never had someone who I felt cared about my feelings as much as you do. Please don't be scared to speak your mind, I love listening to you, your writing is phenomenal and I can't wait to see you again whenever you come back online. I don't mind waiting, and I Wish I could give you the biggest hug. You'll never know how much your words mean to me.

@thewritingautisticat I don't know you very well but honestly, Whenever I see you in my notes, It makes me happy, I honestly can't wait to see where your stories go, and I'd honestly love to interact more some day, I admire you and all of your projects, and I wish you the best of luck!

@thebookishkiwi Girlie, I don't honestly even know what to say. I see your projects and I don't respond bc 1, Honestly I'm a little jealous of your skills, and 2, I may be busy, but I do HONESTLY really love your characters. I'm honestly flattered whenever I see you in my notes it makes me smile like an idiot, especially when I see your replies or reblogs and I honestly don't even know what to say. I admire your skills and I strive to one day write like you do (I'm getting lost in the sauce with the goddess prophecy, I'm lurking in the shadows bc life is a little busy, but when summer comes around, I'm gonna... *snatches all your writing and runs away with it*)

@vesanal Thank you. For everything. You're such a brilliant friend and a brilliant person. Everything you do, your interactions, how little I DO see them, and Your help, Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate you and all the help you've given me, and I don't think I would be where I am without it, Lol.

@write-with-will Man, You. YOU. YOUUUU. YOUR COMMENTS, YOUR EVERYTHING, I LOVE YOU(/p) AND YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS AND WORDS ON EVERYTHING, BUT SPECIFICALLY WILD AND KHENAN. YOU'RE SO KIND DESPITE HOW LITTLE WE INTERACT OUTSIDE OF THAT, BUT I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH. AURGHHHGHGHG, I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK ON ALL YOUR PROJECTS

@corinneglass Girlie, Idk what to say. Thank you. TwT. Your words mean so much, you're trying, your beautiful blog, your patience and everything. Just... everything...

@yolbert We don't interact much, and I know English isn't your first language, I just want you to know that whenever I see you in my notes, it makes me Unreasonably happy, and your reblogs are like I'm panning for gold in my notifs, Lol. Every time I see them on my Posts I feel so proud of myself, Like: They REBLOGGED? ME????

@darkandstormydolls I cannot even begin to tell you how much I admire how smart you are, with all your research and knowledge and your willingness to share it, and to offer me things sometimes, like the opportunity to be featured in something. Your notes and your interactions, they kinda remind me why I write, honestly.

@blargh-500 I don't know you at all, But I honestly really like seeing you in my notes, and your asks are always a surprise, and a welcome one! I'd honestly love to see you around more and get to know you better if I can.

@clever-naming-convention You're one of my oldest moots. Actually my third ever if I remember correctly, and I admire how forward and happy you are with your hyperfixations, even if we don't talk a lot and you may not be interested in my projects, you're still here, and I'm honestly so greatful for that. (Do you like sonic? If so, #sonic the slugcat)

@sm-writes-chaos I don't know you. But you're awesome. Your art is awesome. Your vibe is awesome. You share my obsession with Jak for literally no other reason than 'he has silly vibes' and I respect that. W friend.

@lunaeuphterrnal We don't talk much, and I don't know you much either but I honestly REALLY REALLY appreciate you and your reblogs and support of my WIP and I wish you the best of luck with yours even though I haven't got around to looking at it yet

@geminiagentgreen You're awesome. Keep doing what you do. Thank you Jesus for showing me this person and their blog. Thank you for spreading the word of God, for being so confident about it and inspiring me to take steps in my own faith, and for just... being there

@urnumber1star I love your WIP. I love you(/p). I don't say much but I AM lurking in the shadows. Torture Michael for me. And I don't care how evil he is, Give No one a cookie for me. Also if you have inspiration, write that fantasy. I have no doubt in my heart it will be magnificent.

I love you guys - (Sorry if I forgot you)

-Ellia

[biscylbenzene]

how do you find the time/motivation to draw? your art inspires me so much but i can never find the time or availability to do art

aww wait ok first of all it's very sweet to hear that my art inspires you!! i see your user pop up in my notifications often and i do a little yippee yahoo when it does bc i'm always excited to see a Reoccurring Person Who Likes My Stuff :D

secondly, as far as motivation goes, i've found that this 30 piece challenge has been pretty good for giving me one big project to complete with 30 smaller projects inside. that gives me a sense of progress and a definitive end point to work towards, which has worked really well for me personally. as well as that, i have a backlog of one million billion projects and pieces and studies that i want to do, so that motivates me to finish what i'm currently working on so i can get to the other stuff (and, if i'm feeling really stuck, i can just bounce around between projects till i feel better).

for availability, i don't work fulltime, so to keep myself feeling productive i draw and write. it's a bit of a regulator for my mental health actually. i feel bad if i do nothing but play video games all day, and i also feel bad if i do nothing but work all day, so creative projects are a nice middle ground where i'm being productive and also being mentally stimulated at the same time. also, i've gotten into the habit of pulling out my tablet to draw whenever i want to watch/listen to something that doesn't need my full attention. video essay i wanna watch? guess i'll work on that piece i'm halfway done. new episode of a show i like dropped? drawing time. curious to learn about something? podcast episode while i animate!!

also also!! for motivation, getting like really autistic about a preexisting piece of media works like a charm. big bonus points to any of you freaks who can puzzle together what i've been insane about lately based on my recent art :3

[gothushi]

my inbox is a bit buggy and some asks only give the option to post so😭gotta answer em like this.

anyway !

starting off with rob, i think he’d be the most respectful right off the bat. he’d be like … ‘did you mean to send that? i’m assuming not’ and calming u down whilst ur spamming his phone with apology texts and how ur so embarrassed. that doesn’t mean he wasn’t affected at all though. first glance had him double taking, and he’s ashamed to admit he stared for a good while before actually responding, too focused on how his cock throbbed whilst imagining the pretty lace under his palms. he does however send u back texts like ‘it’s okay i’m not upset’ ‘you look very beautiful, you don’t have to be embarrassed’ ‘y/n take a second and calm down .. i’d never be disgusted with you’ he soothes away ur embarrassed worries, and in the end compliments you once more ‘if you ever want to purposefully send some my way, i wouldn’t complain.’ overall, very respectful. though, once u guys start dating, he nvr lets u live it down

simon is probs pretty similar tbh. like, he’s surprised at first and he definitely feels his cheeks go red, his pants get a little tighter. but, he’s such a gentleman when it comes to u. same vibe as rob, reassures u it’s okay, u don’t have to be embarrassed, he knows it was an accident. even sends proof that he deleted the photos from ur chat. (he’s got them saved in his phone though.)

another one i see being totally respectful and sweet is seb. i mean, c’mon.. he totally drops his phone when he opens it, thinking it’s some meme or a cute photo, only to be met with u from the waist down in some cute new panties? he’s red in the face and stammering, wondering if u meant to send that to him. two seconds later and his phone keeps chiming with new messages, apologies and whatnot from ur anxious self. he deletes them upon ur request, and tells u ‘it’s totally okay u don’t have to be embarrassed’. later tht night though and for the rest of the week he gets off at least twice before bed with that image in his head

nikolai is … way different. u didn’t even realize u had sent smth by accident, having done so and put ur phone on the charger. he pops into ur place within the next ten minutes, cooing at u and getting all touchy. he fairly assumes u didn’t mean to do that, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna tease. when u start getting all flustered and blushy, he croons something like ‘you weren’t all shy sending me that photo, mm?’ has u scrambling to check ur phone and he laughs at the red coloring ur face as u babble about how u don’t know how that happened, it was an accident and ur sorry. u may just be friends but he cradles ur cheeks and whispers a sweet little reassurance, ‘my sweet girl, i’m just playing with you, it’s alright. besides, i quite liked it’

luke …. he doesn’t even see it right away LOL. u realize what u had done when the image pops up instead of the dress u were asking his opinion on. he’s at practice so he had just set his phone down to return to the exercises. the next half hr of ur time is spent rushing to the field and watching them, wondering how u can get to his phone without seeming suspicious. ur just too late bc he’s grabbing his things to go shower, u try to offer holding his stuff but he insists his bag is inside so it’s fine, even tells u to wait so u can go get lunch together. before he gets into the bathrooms however is when he checks his notifications and ohhhh he goes red in the face… has to spend a couple extra minutes under the hot water before he comes out. it’s kinda awkward for a few minutes and ur worried bc he hasn’t said anything, maybe he didn’t check it yet? in the car ride u ask to use his phone to check the menu.. to see what time it is.. he gets what ur doing and ends up huffing and just blurting out that he seen it. it’s like dead silent for an entire minute before u both go to talk at once, some apology outta both of u. (ur both so hopeless w ur crushes on each other..) he gets himself together though and lets u know it’s okay, accidents happen. slides in a comment about how the color looked nice on u

i’m lumping quinten and ernst into the same description bc .. yeah. makes sense, right? they’re both different but the most similar outta the bunch. both of them wld be extremely flustered, especially knowing that’s you. chews on his lip so hard it almost bleeds. u end up calling him to apologize, saying it was meant to be this stupid photo of a dog in a tuxedo costume. he’d be breathy and trying to laugh it off like yeah… it’s alright, no problem.. but he’s throbbing in his boxers so hard it’s making him lightheaded. where they’re differing is i think quinten would be kinda moody afterwards, bc he’s frustrated that it wasn’t meant for him. his crush on u overtakes his emotions and has him being kinda sharp and pouty a lot. ernst will be flustered and blushy for at least a week after, which makes u feel bad until u talk it out

[heavenlyakin]

Starboy Pt 2: Pop star!Atsumu x Fem!Reader. 18+ only! 

cw: reader has red hair and hazel eyes, reader blushes, nipple play, unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, atsumu calls reader “doll”, general smut warmings. Also not beta’d or edited too well, pls forgive any mistakes. 

wc: 4.6k

A/n: part one flopped, seemingly since there was no smut, but that won’t stop me from writing more of this AU bc it’s quite literally the most fun I’ve had writing in years. I hope those of you who truly enjoyed part 1 enjoy this too! Reminder “--” is a pov change and “-- – –” is a time skip! Alsoooooo happy early birthday atsumu ilysm <3 

Part 1

–

“I can’t do this. I want to go home,” your eyes fill with more tears, spilling down your cheeks and the sides of your face. Your body shakes, and you want him off you, away from you, and out of this fucking hotel room. 

Atsumu moves, sitting on the side of the bed, standing up, and pacing by the bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” 

“No, I’m sorry-” you choke on a sob. 

What the fuck has come over you? 

You get off the bed, standing on the other side, facing Atsumu. He doesn’t look hurt, but there’s something on his face, something you just can’t read. 

“It’s okay,” he puts his hands up, “I’m not worried about me.” He steps closer to the bed, reaching his hand out but you don’t move. “We can get you home if that’s what you want.” 

You nod, knowing it’s what’s best. “Thank you,” you squeak out.

– 

Atsumu drops his hand to his side and walks around the bed and towards the table where he left his phone. He ignores all the other notifications, pulls up his manager’s number, and texts him to send for a car for you. He responds quickly, letting Atsumu know he’s working on it. 

“I’m getting a car to take you back home. Is that okay?” He asks you, laying his phone back down on the table. He places his hands behind him, rocking back and forth on his heels. 

“That’s fine,” you walk past him and into the bathroom, where all your stuff is. 

Atsumu has to stop himself from following you in there, wanting to give you space and not freak you out more. What happened? He didn’t think he misread your body language or the sounds you were making. 

A knock at the door gets him moving, and not towards you. 

“Do we need her to sign a NDA?” Jeff is all business when he opens the door. 

“Why don’t you fucking scream it, so she hears you. No! What the fuck?” Atsumu feels anger bubbling in his gut. 

Jeff lifts his hands in defense and shrugs. “Better safe than sorry,” he sighs, clearly just annoyed with this entire fiasco. He enters the room, looking around like he’s scanning it to see if anything is out of place. 

You come out of the bathroom, change out of your pajamas, and into jeans and a hoodie. “Sorry to cause you all this trouble,” you tell Jeff and he doesn’t smile. 

“It’s no trouble.” He tells you, but you can tell from his voice he doesn’t mean it, he’s just being polite. 

Atsumu wonders if you can hear it too. A few more words are exchanged but he doesn’t hear it. He feels distant like he’s hearing underwater. You start to leave with Jeff, and Atsumu stays in his place in the middle of the room, unable to walk you to the door. This is all so stupid, you shouldn’t be leaving, he should beg you to stay and forgive him for whatever he’s done. 

As you walk out the door, Atsumu can’t contain himself anymore. 

For the first time since the start of his career, he trashes a hotel room. 

– – – 

You lay your head back on the headrest of your office chair, looking up at the ceiling. You don’t turn the lights on in your office, the iridescent lighting always gives you migraines, so you stick to softer lighting with lamps around the office. It’s almost four o’clock, so close to when you’re able to leave and enjoy the rest of the day and then the weekend off to yourself. 

It’s been 2 months since you ran away from Atsumu’s hotel room, and you find yourself thinking about it more and more as time passes. You thought it would be the opposite, but here you are thinking about that night again as if you don’t have several reports to approve and travel to arrange for your coworkers. However, none of that matters when you have this intense guilt building in your chest.

The sound of an office door opening and then closing draws your attention to the hallway, forcing you to sit up and see who may be leaving. You never know when someone is going to pop in and ask something stupid or even worse: ask for a favor. Your boss waives at you as she walks past the door, and you know it’s time to start gathering your things to leave. 

You’re walking out the door when the clock strikes four, not caring that you clocked out a few minutes early. You need to finally talk about what happened. The drive home isn’t too bad, since the rush doesn’t start until about another hour. Your roommate’s car is in its usual spot when you arrive, and you’re glad she’s home. 

“Hey!” Clara, your roommate, greets you at the door. “I brought home pizza!” 

You smile, dropping your purse and work bag on the floor by the shoe rack. You’ll clean it up later. She already has drinks and plates with napkins on the coffee table beside the massive pizza box. She ordered from the one place in town that sells pizza that looks like it straight from a 90s sitcom. 

“Thank god, because you’re gonna want it after I tell you what I have to tell you.” You sigh, sitting on the couch, opening the pizza box, and loading your plate with a slice. 

“Work gossip?” Clara wiggles her eyebrows and you laugh, but shake your head no. 

“So, you already know that I met Atsumu Miya and his brother after the shows in LA, right?” 

She nods, her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, and you didn’t even Facetime me so I could freak out with you.” 

You laugh, shoving her gently and she smacks your arm away. “Okay stop it!” You say between giggles after you stop hitting each other. “But, I didn’t tell you where I was the weekend I was MIA until like three a.m. a few months ago.” 

“How do these two things relate?” She asks, taking a bite of her pizza slice. 

“Well,” you take a breath, then exhale loudly. “I was with Atsumu.”

“Shut up,” Clara rolls her eyes. “How is that even… HE WAS IN PITTSBURGH THAT WEEKEND,” she interrupts herself to yell. 

“Yeah,” you nod. “He came here actually, for just a few minutes. Saw my stupid poster on the wall and everything.” 

“And you didn’t wake me up?! —-- you’re so selfish!!” This is exactly how you expected her to react. “Why are you telling me now?” 

“So, here it goes…” you tell her the story from the night you met him in the gas station, to the concert, to having his team send you home. You don't skip out on any details, including kissing, cuddling, and almost sleeping with him. 

“Why did you leave?!” She all but yells at you. 

“I was scared!” You admit, and for the first time, you realize that was truly it. You were scared of being intimate with him and that being it for you and him. “Clara, I was so scared he’d never talk to me again. And now, I’m pretty sure he never will.” 

She drops her pizza on her plate, puts it down on the table, and wipes her hands with the napkin. “Come here,” she opens her arms and you hug her. 

Clara has been your best friend and roommate for five years now, going through some of the hardest times of your life with you, and overall being a better friend than you ever could ask for. So, hugging her feels like home most of the time, and right now it’s like being a kid and needing your mother to hug you to make it better. 

“You’re way too wonderful to be worried about something like that…” she tells you letting you go and you nod. “If he’d done that, I would have called him out on Twitter anyway…: 

“Oh shut up,” you laugh and toss a throw pillow at her. “Thank you for listening.” 

She catches the pillow and slaps you with it. “Oh, we’re not done here… I have so many questions.” She drills into you then. She asks you about how you brought him home, how you fell, how you did this and that, and everything you can imagine. 

After an hour you’re drained and the pizza is cold. “Okay, I think that covers it all,” you laugh shaking your head when she goes to ask another question. 

“Well, honestly honey, if he’s half the guy we think he is he won’t let your memory of him be you running away.” She tells you, cleaning up the table. You help her and follow her into the kitchen. 

“I don’t know, that’s a lot to ask. After all, I’m sure he’s moved on to some other fan now.” You both know about the rumors of all the flings he had when he first toured the U.S. a few years ago. Why would he have changed with growing fame? 

“He didn’t make you sign a NDA, did he?” She asks, running dishwater and looking over to you at the trashcan dumping the pizza crusts you didn’t eat. 

“No, he didn’t.” You answer, handing her the plates and she dunks them in the dishwater, starting to scrub it after. “Although, I heard his manager ask if he wanted me to. Atsumu said no.” 

“Then maybe he didn’t think of you as just another fan. I mean, why would he have gone through that and not had to sign an NDA, like honestly…” she furrows her brows as she thinks, “it’s kind of embarrassing for him.” 

“Shut up! You’re making me feel worse now!” You whine, drying off the dish she hands you. “It’s not that I didn’t want to sleep with him…” 

“I know,” she laughs, “but I don’t know. Something just doesn’t seem finished here.” 

– 

Atsumu has three more shows, then the tour is over. 3 months felt like a lifetime, but none of it has felt the same since that night in Pittsburgh. Everything in him is telling him to let it go, let you go, but he can’t. He’s had your phone number since that night, his manager passing it on to him after you left. 

Why did you leave your number while you were running away from him? 

The scene has played in his head over and over, and he’s certain he didn’t do anything intentionally that could have hurt you. Everything he did was following your lead, even when you asked him to stop. He has wondered if you heard his manager’s comments about the NDA and perhaps that’s why you left it. 

He’s been too worried to just text you, especially now that it’s been months. He can’t just call you, can he? 

He draws another squiggly line next to the lyrics on his notepad, looking up into the studio and seeing his band still working on the music from earlier. He finished recording vocals and just needs to wait for them to finish up. This new album came to him in the last few weeks, surprising not only him but the band as well since he’d intended on taking a short hiatus to relax for a year before going back to writing and performing. 

“Do we have time for one more?” Atsumu asks, finishing the last line of the song he’s been fooling with for a few weeks. “I think I have this one figured out.” 

– – – 

Your phone dings and you look over irritated you didn’t set it to silent when you got to work. It’s nearly lunchtime, so you pick it up to check it. No one is going to care if they find you on your phone just for a few minutes. 

New single, “I’m Not Sorry” is out this Friday! 

Atsumu’s tweet notifications are still on. 

You click the link, taking you to the Spotify page, and look at the new cover art for the single. You can’t believe what you’re seeing as you look at it. You’re absolutely sure that this picture of him is with the Pittsburgh skyline. You close the app and go to Instagram, looking to see if he’s posted the single cover there. 

He has. 

You’re able to zoom in on the photo now, and you’re absolutely sure that’s where the picture was taken. It’s evening in the picture and you wonder if it was the night after you left. Atsumu had one more show and definitely had time for promotional photos since you weren’t in the way. 

You send the Instagram post to Clara, asking her if she thinks it’s Pittsburgh too. She reads it instantly, sending a zillion emojis with words strung between them confirming your suspicions. You lock your phone and consider what you can do. 

He has your number, but you don’t have his. You could tweet him, but what would that do with the hundreds of thousands of other fans doing the same? Instagram might be better, but you’re sure he doesn’t check his DM’s there either. But… what harm could a comment do? 

You unlock your phone, go to the post, comment a winky face emoji under the post, and close the app. You wash your hands of it after that, if he’s online enough to see it and it’s not just his PR team running the account, then maybe he’ll see it. 

The rest of your day, you ignore your phone. 

– 

“This has to be her,” Atsumu says, showing the stand-in guitarist your profile on Instagram. It’s private, but the profile photo is unmistakably you. “Right?” 

“Dude,” the guitarist, whose name is escaping him, sighs. “I’ve heard bits and pieces of this story and I gotta tell ya, I don’t think this is worth the heartache.” 

“Oh, what do you know?” Atsumu rolls his eyes and hits follow on the profile. 

– 

“-----!” Your name is screamed before the door to your apartment is even open. Clara runs in, looking frantic. 

“What’s wrong?” You jump up from the couch. 

“You’re not going to believe who I found outside.” You finally walk to where you can see her, and the tall blonde behind her stuns you. 

“Atsumu,” you gasp. 

“-----, can we talk?” He asks, his face soft and his eyes focused on you and not your roommate who can’t seem to stand still in front of him. 

“Yeah, come on in.” You tell him and he slips off his shoes, following you to your bedroom. 

“You took my poster down,” he says before he’s past the doorway. 

“Oh,” you shut the door behind him, “I felt weird staring at you after everything… It’s in Clara’s room now.” 

“What happened?” Atsumu asks, turning to face you. 

While you know he’s not trying to intimidate you, you feel small standing in front of him, backed up against your bedroom door. 

“Sit down, and we’ll talk.” You point to the bed, unkept this time since you were running late this morning and didn’t have time to make it. 

He sits, pulling the duvet over his lap, making you smile. You sit beside him, careful not to get too close in case he’s upset with you and doesn’t want to touch you. 

“I’m really sorry.” You start, “I shouldn’t have run off.” 

“I’m not sorry. I just…” he stumbles for a moment, “I need to know what I did wrong.” 

His eyes are full of hurt and you feel like a shell of a person for doing that to him. But, how do you tell him how you feel without hurting his feelings? 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to, you know,” you blush, “sleep with you.” He doesn’t speak, content to just listen. You take a deep breath, then decide to tell him. “I just got scared that that’s as close to you as I’ll ever be.” 

He reaches out his hand, laying it on your hands on your lap. “Why would that be it?” 

“Atsumu, why wouldn’t it be? You’re busy and I belong here. You have your choice of anyone in the world, so why would one night with me mean anything?” You sound harsher than you intend, but it’s too late to take it back. You look down at your hands, idly picking at one of your hangnails. 

“I don’t want you for one night, —--!” He takes his hand back, running it through his hair. “I have feelings for you that even I don’t understand, but I know I need more than just one night with you.” 

You look up at him, tears forming in your eyes. “Why should I believe that?” 

“I don’t know,” he takes your hands in his, stopping your picking. “I just know we’d be perfect together.” 

“Atsu-” he interrupts you with his lips, pressing against yours with such strong ferocity you fall back against your pillows, pulling him with you. 

He pulls away, his eyes wild with desire and need. “If you want me to stop, I will.” He kisses your neck and you stifle your moan, way too aware that your roommate very well could be outside your door listening in. 

“Atsumu, Clara is home…” you whine as his teeth bite into your sensitive skin. 

“I gave her a signed record with the new single on it and asked her to leave us alone…” he smiles, a laugh on his breath. “She’s either in her room or she left to go show it to your other friends. That’s what she said she’d do anyway.” 

“Can I at least check?” You ask, shaking your head and laughing. 

He nods and you get off the bed from under him. The hallway is empty and her door is closed. A quick listen through the door tells you she’s either being suspiciously quiet or she left. 

“All clear,” you announce coming back in the room. 

Atsumu pulls you onto the bed, this time on top of him. He holds your face as he kisses you, like he’s scared you’ll disappear if he’s not holding you. His tongue explores your mouth and you can’t help but groan into him. Through your sweats you can feel how hard he is under his pants, pushing against your cunt as you grind on him. 

“If you keep that up, we won’t get to have too much fun.” He warns, breaking away from your mouth. 

His lips glisten with yours and his spit, making you feel something carnal in your gut. You mumble a quick sorry and kiss him again. Your fingers lace in his hair, tugging whenever he bites at your bottom lip. You’re flipped over onto your back before you realize it’s happening. Atsumu hovers over you, looking at you like you’re a meal and he hasn’t eaten in days. 

“I’m serious, tell me to stop if this isn’t what you want.” His voice is so soft it makes you want to whimper. 

“I want you,” you tell him and he smiles. 

He kisses you again, his lips warm and soft against yours. He’s gentle as he pushes your t-shirt up and over your head, revealing your nude bra to him. If you’d known this would happen, you might have changed into something a little more alluring, but this is your reality now. 

His hand cups your right breast through the bra, a muffled moan leaving his throat. He spreads your thighs with his knee. You want to grind down onto his knee but he lifts your torso up to unclasp your bra, so you’re unable to. It falls off your arms and breasts and Atsumu tosses it somewhere behind him. 

His lips wrap around your left nipple, his hand still massaging your right breast. You arch your back, moaning and closing your eyes. Atsumu’s tongue is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. Have you ever had this much pleasure from just your nipples before? You shouldn’t already be breathing this heavily, but you’re too aroused to stop now. 

“‘Tsumu,” you whimper and you feel him smile against your breast. 

“Tell me what you want baby,” he looks up at you, twirling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. 

“Between my thighs, need you there,” your face heats with the embarrassment of asking him so clearly, but you can't help it. 

Atsumu kisses both your nipples, then down to your navel. His tongue drags across your skin and you can’t stay still. You writhe below him, loving the sensation of his tongue on your body and his hands gripping your hips to try and hold you still. His fingers loop into your sweatpants, pulling them down over your legs and off your body, your panties going with them. 

Once they’re off the bed and you’re completely bare in front of him, you realize how much clothing he has on. His pants, hoodie, and presumably shirt under it are still attached to him. 

“Take your clothes off or I’m going to rip them off myself.” You tell him and he grins wildly. 

“I’d love to see you try.” He laughs, sitting up on his knees and ridding himself of his hoodie, and the shirt underneath. 

You sit up and help him with his belt. He kisses you as you unbutton his pants, slipping your hand in and grabbing his cock through his boxers. He moans as you wrap your fingers around it, slowly stroking him and looking up at him through your lashes. 

“-----,” he moans, “stop that or else.” 

“Or else what?” You smile as sweetly as you can, gripping him tighter and using your other hand to push his pants off his waist and thighs. 

“I’m going to fuck you until you’re crying.” He grabs your face, making you look at him straight on. “But, I planned on doing that anyway.” 

You feel your stomach do flips and smile, releasing his cock and letting him take the remainder of his clothes off. He settles back overtop of you, his fingers trailing around your pubic hair where it meets your lower stomach. He kisses you as his fingers slide between your cunt, and he moans. 

“This wet?” He asks against your lips. “You must really want me, huh?” 

This side of Atsumu is fascinating and hot. You whimper in response and he slips two fingers into you. You gasp as they slowly pump in and out, his lips working on that sweet spot on your neck. His fingers are longer than you expected, filling you up so much more than you thought possible. 

His lips trail down your body again and you feel a wave of pleasure through your core as his tongue drags across your clit. You whine as he sucks lightly. Between his tongue and fingers, you’re not sure what you like more. The combination of them both is overwhelming and more than you could ever wish for. 

You dig your nails into the sheets, moaning as he continues to lap at your cunt. Your eyes open and close every few seconds, taking in images of him between your thighs looking happier than he does when thousands of fans are screaming for him. Your stomach tightens and you feel that familiar knot forming, the tension threatening to break you. 

“Atsumu,” you whine, “gonna cum.” 

He hums against your cunt, and you can’t hold back anymore. You cum over his fingers and mouth. He continues to fuck you with his fingers through your climax and you go limp against the bed, panting with every breath. He finally unlatches from you, bringing his fingers to your mouth. 

“Open up,” he smirks and you do. 

He slips his fingers in your mouth and you suck on them as he watches. Your tongue wraps around them, slowly sucking all your cum from his fingers. He watches you, his other hand stroking his cock as you suck on his fingers. He moans, closing his eyes, but only for a second. They’re open again and focused on you a moment later. 

“Fuck,” his voice is deeper now, sensual. 

You pop his fingers out of your mouth, leaning forward and kissing his chest. He grabs you by your hair, tugging your head back, tilting you to look up at him. 

“Now, now,” he smiles, his eyes wild, “lay down. I’m not done with you yet.” 

You scoot back, laying down against the pillows, spreading your legs for him. He crawls between them, kissing your stomach, up between your breasts, and then your lips. He kisses you several more times, his cock pressed against your stomach, and you swear you can feel him throbbing. 

“Gonna make it?” You ask, a giggle following. 

“Shut up,” he chuckles, sitting up on his knees and bringing your legs over his shoulders. 

He settles between them, your thighs pressed against his body. He lifts your hips, angling you towards him. He pushes his cock against your entrance, pausing and looking at you, his eyes desperate for reassurance. 

You nod. 

He’s slow, his cock pushing inside you and stretching you bit by bit. You close your eyes, feeling the girth and the sting that comes with it. You squeeze the bedsheets, and Atsumu pushes all the way into your cunt, his cock fully sheathed in you. Your thighs tremble and you open your eyes, noticing that Atsumu looks like he’s in complete bliss. 

You smile, letting out a whimper as you do. He opens his eyes, a smile creeping on his face to match yours. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth as he starts to pull out of you, slowly beginning to thrust, holding your thighs for leverage. 

“So fucking tight,” he moans, closing his eyes again and thrusting into you harder. 

You whine, finally past the burning and feeling the pleasure you’ve only dreamt about. Each thrust takes you higher, closer to the edge. His thrusts are hard, but meticulous, every thrust hitting that spot only you thought you could reach when you’ve used toys. 

“Atsumu,” you whimper, your thighs shaking again. 

“What is it, doll?” He smirks, stalling and pushing closer to you, your legs pressing against your body. 

“Oh fuck,” you whimper as he goes deeper, your body seemingly bending at his will. 

“I could record your little whimpers, ya know. Put it in a song and let the world hear how good I make you feel,” he whispers, his lips against your ear, thrusting deeper into you. 

Your face warms and that feeling of being pushed over the edge returns. 

“It wouldn’t be the first song you inspire, and definitely not the last.” He laughs, kissing your neck and fucking into you harder. 

Even with the cheesy lines, you feel yourself falling for them. He could do nothing wrong now, and your body craves more of him if that’s even possible. Your nails dig into his shoulders, and you worry you’ll break the skin, but you can’t help it. 

“Atsumu! Gonna!” You can’t tell him the rest before you’re clenching around his cock. 

This time it feels like waves throughout your body. Your eyes squeeze shut, your toes curl, and your body goes limp beneath Atsumu. He uses this chance to use your malleable body to his advantage. He moves your legs off his chest and shoulders, spreading them and pressing against you. 

His tongue swipes against yours as he fills you up, his cock throbbing inside you. You can already feel the cum running down your ass from your abused cunt. You have to break away from his lips to breathe, but his teeth catch your bottom lip. He playfully bites at it and you laugh. 

“Holy-” 

“Shit,” he finishes for you. 

He presses his damp forehead against yours, his breathing still heavy. His body is warm and weighted against you, making you feel small. You wrap your arms around him, holding him as close to you as possible. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he tells you but you shake your head. 

“This won’t last forever.” 

“It will for as long as you want.”

[lowkeychenle]

Lost & Wayward [NJM] (2)

Description: After the worst couple weeks of your life, you finally break down in the middle of an alleyway. Jaemin hears you and comes to comfort you, and little do you know, he's about to change your life--in more ways than one.

Genre: Fluff/Eventual smut

Content Warnings: I'm thinking maybe I'll put smut in the next part but for now still just fluff sorryyyy

Word Count: 2,833

Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader (Canon!AU so all the Dreamies will be mentioned/appear)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Lost & Wayward Mini-Masterlist

Juliet's Masterlist

It’s been a couple days since you’ve heard from Jaeseok. You’ve come to enjoy his company, even if it’s only electronic. You also haven’t received any updates from Minji. You try not to worry, but this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Although not hearing from Jaeseok put a damper on you. You hope Minji will get back to you soon so you can have a reason to text him. Logically, you know he’s busy with something. The man works crazy hours apparently, because he’s always there…wherever there is.

Minji doesn’t call you until the end of the week. She comes with good news, though—you got the job, and you’d be starting the following Monday. In three days.

You debate even telling Jaeseok at all. If he wants to talk to you, certainly he’d do it, right?

Mid-thought, your phone dings.

Jaeseok (6:34pm): sorry i’ve been mia…things have been really hectic here. how are you doing?

Oh, for the love of God. This man was too caring and nice for his own good. You try to think of what to send back, but you draw a blank. You’ll have to just tell him what’s on your mind, apparently.

You (6:35pm): no worries! i figured you were suuuuper busy considering they give you breaks for dinner instead of just letting you go home Jaeseok (6:35pm): clever You (6:36pm): you wish you could be as clever as me Jaeseok (6:36pm): you got me there. any job updates?? i’m on the edge of my seat and i’ve gotten zero texts :( You (6:38pm): Minji called me a little earlier today. i got it!! i’m so freaking excited Jaeseok (6:38pm): HELL YEAH Jaeseok (6:38pm): didn’t doubt u for a second

You pause. You’ve talked to him via text nearly every day, all day except the last few. Unfortunately, you also get attached easily. You can only hope this friendship will last. He’s been the best friend you’ve ever had in the course of a week.

Jaeseok (6:40pm): are you doing anything to celebrate?! this is seriously great stuff You (6:41pm): unfortunately u are the only friend i have…what am i gonna do if u can’t hang bc u’re working Jaeseok (6:41pm): first of all…unfortunately?? i’m so offended right now Jaeseok (6:42pm): and second of all, u don’t need to do anything crazy. just go…get your favorite meal or something. u deserve it You (6:43pm): are u working? Jaeseok (6:44pm): nope. dogsitting for my shithead friend You (6:44pm): come with me

When it takes a few minutes for him to respond, your brain whirls. You shouldn’t have done that. He’s probably only being friendly because he feels obligated. You’re the one who broke down in the alleyway, and the longer you think about it, the longer you wish you could erase that. What he saw was probably the worst version of you. Great.

You (6:50pm): sorry if that was weird…i don’t know why i would say something like that Jaeseok (7:34pm): holy shit i’m so sorry! this dog is driving me up a wall and i didn’t see you texted. it’s definitely not weird to ask and i really really wish i could come celebrate with you but i’ll have to raincheck ):

You don’t even have the courage to text him back. Instead, you turn off your phone and toss it to the side. None of this should really upset you—he’s extremely busy. Seeing him that night must have been a major fluke, and you’d rather talk to him via text when he had time versus not at all.

At about 9pm, you get an Instagram update notification that Chenle posted. You click on it absentmindedly, pausing at the photo. It’s Chenle, Jaemin, and Daegal. Jaemin cradles Daegal to his chest and pouts at Chenle.

The caption reads, “I’m gone for three hours, and now Jaemin doesn’t want to give her back…”

For some reason, it makes you stop and think. You like the post, close the Instagram app, and open your messages with Jaeseok.

You (9:12pm): how’s dogsitting? Jaeseok (9:15pm): ahhh my friend came to get her a little bit ago…i need to get a pet

That’s one hell of a coincidence. You slide to the Instagram app once more, noting Jaemin’s blue hair. With your heart sinking in your chest, you shake your head. There’s no way.

No. Way.

Plus, Jaeseok wouldn’t lie to you like that. Not about something like this.

You (9:21pm): maybe try cats…if dogs are too much work for u Jaeseok (9:22pm): plus we all know cats are superior You (9:23pm): i’m gonna go to sleep…we’ll celebrate soon? i start work monday Jaeseok (9:24pm): as soon as i can! promise (:

The start of Monday is absolutely hectic. You get your own office up on the third floor. It’s everything you ever could’ve wanted, and you feel as if Jaeseok really is your good luck charm. Not only is this better than your dream job you lost, but it also pays nearly double what you were making.

It’s only when you’ve settled in that you realize your job is hyper-specific. Yes, you work in marketing, but more specifically, you do NCT Dream’s marketing. You almost choked on your water when you saw that on your paperwork.

And unbeknownst to you, you’d receive a visit from the group later in the day. You’re going through the paperwork the previously employed person left for you when a knock sounds at your door.

Your head shoots up and you allow whoever it is to come in. Mark walks in first, a smile on his face. You try to stop your jaw from dropping, but it gives way slightly anyway.

The other boys—the other six—tumble in the door afterward.

“We like to welcome new staff members,” Mark says, holding out an envelope. “It’s nothing crazy, just a card. But I hope we’ll all work well together.”

You grin, surprised your vocal chords work. “Thank you so much. I’m very excited for the opportunity, and I’m sure I can help you guys achieve great things.”

Your eyes scan over the boys, heart stuttering when you see Jaemin. His dark roots are starting to show through the bright blue, but you’re sure the hair stylists will fix it.

They all introduce themselves to you, even though you’re positive they’re all aware you know who they are, and you follow suit after. Again, you find your gaze wandering to Jaemin. He’s staring right back at you.

They leave shortly after their introductions, leaving you alone in your office to ponder on how to wake yourself up. This has to be a dream, but no matter how hard you pinch yourself, it’s not working.

With coincidences adding up, you decide to test your insane theory about Jaeseok being freaking Na Jaemin.

You (12:23pm): guess what

As you suspect, it takes him quite a while to respond.

Jaeseok (1:35pm): hmmm what You (1:38pm): i met nct dream. like for realllll. but also idk if i’m supposed to tell you that? but you’re my only friend so ig do with that what you will Jaeseok (1:39pm): are we close enough for you to tell me your bias now? i’ve been so curious

You grin. Let the games begin.

You (1:39pm): guess Jaeseok (1:40pm): Jisung You (1:40pm): love jisung, but he is so baby Jaeseok (1:41pm): alright then…no baby men. okay what about Mark? You (1:42pm): you’re distracting me from work with your incorrect answers dude Jaeseok (1:42pm): you always distract me from work. call it payback. andddd can you just tell me who it is??? i’ll just go down the list in age order smh You (1:43pm): ooooh you’re a dream stan too if you know age order. okay okay my bias is Chenle!! i want to be daegal’s mom Jaeseok (1:45pm): chenle?! why him????? why daegal’s mom??????? You (1:45pm): the man has the voice of an angel and a jawline for days. why wouldn’t i want to be daegal’s mom Jaeseok (1:46pm): that’s so foul that you only like him for his face You (1:47pm): and to think i was gonna tell you my second fave too… Jaeseok (1:48pm): tell me immediately You (1:49pm): i’ll just tell you the list in order Jaeseok (1:49pm): i’m waiting You (1:50pm): Chenle, Haechan, Renjun, Mark, Jeno, Jisung, Jaemin Jaeseok (1:51pm): ok now wait a minute because you said no babies but jisung is higher than jaemin??????? make it make sense

Even though he’s all but confirming your suspicion of who he is, you can’t help but laugh. What are the odds? Na Jaemin finds you crying on the street and comforts you? You thought you’d be a bit more upset about this, but in reality, you get it. He was nice enough to want to check in on you, regardless of his fame status and busy schedule.

Either way, you let him stew for a little bit. You actually do have some work to do planning for Dream’s upcoming comeback, so you put your phone away for a while. At the end of your first day, you gather up your things and send a text back.

You (5:46pm): Jaemin is the ultimate baby…that’s not a bad thing!! Jaeseok (5:47pm): but CHENLE is ALSO baby You (5:47pm): he’s a meanie and that’s how i like my men Jaeseok (5:48pm): the longer we talk the more i am convinced u need therapy… You (5:49pm): i’ll have you know i tried that and it didn’t work Jaeseok (5:50pm): jaemin is not more baby than chenle and jisung You (5:50pm): prove it

You grin to yourself as you walk out of your office. Waiting by the elevator, you press the button and scroll through Instagram on your phone. You find the picture Chenle posted from last night and linger on it for a few moments. Could you call him out? That’d be too much, wouldn’t it? He’d probably stop talking to you. At this point, you were happy to say he’s a friend, whether he’s really Jaeseok or if he’s Jaemin.

When the doors slide open, you walk in with a smile on your face until you’re confronted with Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin. You blink in shock, obviously still not used to being in their presence. Bowing your head, you smile at them before turning toward the front. Nerves poke along your spine the longer you’re in there with them. They’re all incredibly nice, so the intimidation factor must be in your head.

You decide to test your theory a little further. You pull out your phone.

You (5:57pm): i see u cannot. i’m always right, u should know that if we’re friends

Mere seconds after you hit send, you hear something buzz behind you. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling.

You (5:57pm): hope work isn’t killing u. that would suck to lose my only friend like that

It buzzes. Again.

“(Y/N),” Chenle says.

You clear your throat and glance over your shoulder at him. “Yes?”

“We’re about to go grab dinner. Our manager’s waiting outside if you want to come along with us?”

You look down at your watch, pursing your lips. It’s almost 6pm. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to hang out with them, but when he’s offering so nicely, how could you say no? You exchange looks with Jaemin and Jisung as well before nodding.

“Sure, why not?”

Everything you see about their friendships in videos is true. They have the same personalities on and off camera, which is pretty rare for people in the spotlight.

You didn’t decide the seating arrangement, but you ended up next to Chenle and across from Jisung. Chenle tells you a story about Daegal from the other day, Jisung listens to it even though he’s probably already heard it before, and Jaemin quietly eats his food.

“You know, you elbowed Jaemin in the face in the Broken Melodies performance video,” you tell Chenle.

“His face bumped into my elbow. He shouldn’t have been so close,” Chenle replies, sending a sly grin over at Jaemin. “He’s alright.”

“I can’t believe they left that in there.” Jaemin chuckles, running his fingers through his hair.

You pull out your phone, almost gasping when you see the time. “It’s almost nine.”

“Yeah, we don’t really get a ton of evenings to ourselves,” Jisung says. “I’m honestly surprised we got out as early as we did today.”

You feel bad for them, truly. They barely get a free moment, and here they are, bringing you along for it. By the time 9:30 comes around, the boys prepare to leave. As much as you vehemently say no, Jaemin pays for everyone’s food. You all climb into the van, and the manager drives everyone home. Jisung is the first to be dropped off, then Chenle, and then you.

You sit in the car alone with Na Jaemin, awkwardly avoiding conversation with him. He glances at you occasionally, but he’s too respectful to stare.

“You live by yourself?” he asks, shattering the silence between the two of you.

Thankfully, the darkness obscures your blush. “Yeah, I do.”

“And you usually walk?” Jaemin’s dark eyebrows furrow, his head slightly tilting to the side. “That doesn’t seem safe.”

“I’ve been doing it for years. Really, it’s fine.”

The car stops outside of your apartment building. You go to open the door, but Jaemin reaches out and grabs your wrist. Recoiling in shock, you look between his hand and his face.

“Sorry,” he says, letting you go. “But…I live down the street. You should let me at least walk you home when I can.”

“I appreciate the thought, but I really don’t need that. And the last thing you need is for someone to take it the wrong way.” You reach out for the door handle again. “Thank you for dinner. That was really kind of you.”

He pauses, letting out a small sigh. “Just…don’t worry about my end of things. You shouldn’t be walking home alone. Especially now that you work with us.”

“I’ll consider it. Goodnight, Jaemin.”

“Goodnight.”

As soon as you’re inside your apartment, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out, a smile forming on your face on its own accord when you see who the notification is from.

Jaeseok (9:58pm): luckily for you, your only friend is still alive. You (9:59pm): ah yes, so lucky Jaeseok (9:59pm): also i don’t need to prove jaemin isn’t a baby, you’ll see eventually. they all do You (10:00pm): who is they? Jaeseok (10:00pm): everyone Jaeseok (10:01pm): but that’s besides the point. i hope you’re enjoying your new job You (10:02pm): loving it. especially considering I spent the whole evening talking to Chenle about Daegal Jaeseok (10:03pm): just chenle? You (10:04pm): wouldn’t u like to know Jaeseok (10:04pm): don’t ditch me for chenle. i will be very upset You (10:05pm): idk…chenle hangs out with me at least…

He should really just tell you. At this point, you have an NDA signed, so it’s not like there’s much you could say to anyone anyway. After hearing the way he talked to you in the car, you’re certain Jaeseok and Jaemin are the same person. Without a doubt.

Now, you just have to come up with a way to get him to admit it. Or you could call him out on it, but that’s nowhere near as fun.

That night, you toss and turn, unable to fall asleep. It seems like you’re not the only one—your phone buzzes against your nightstand.

Jaeseok (12:03am): there’s something i need to tell you.

So much for sleeping tonight…

You (12:05am): it better be good, cuz i’m trying to sleep Jaeseok (12:05am): depends on your definition of good i guess. i think this would be easier in person. can i come see you? You (12:05am): when? Jaeseok (12:06am): right now

Nerves blossom in your stomach at the thought. You stare at the conversation a bit longer than you should before shooting out of bed and trying to make yourself look presentable. Your phone buzzes again.

Jaeseok (12:10am): i really need to see you

You can’t say no to that. Your palms sweat at the idea of him coming to your apartment. At the end of the day, you’re fairly certain Jaeseok is Jaemin. But even if he’s not, knowing you have someone who craves to see you in person is a new sensation for you. It doesn’t matter who he is. He’s your friend.

You text him your exact address.

Jaeseok (12:12am): be there in ten

[vacantgodling]

I figured I should send you an ask instead of spamming your notifications: I saw the word "cyberwestern" and almost lost my entire mind. Graves and Dove are so interesting. Can I get an infodump on the project? What inspired it and how it's coming along, etc. The more details you can give on What Their Fucking Problem Is, the better. Thank you :>

honestly i am totally down with notif spam so if you still want to after i talk your ear off, HAVE AT IT :DD

so i did kinda do a mini info dump centering around graves like 20 minutes ago -> here but i figure a more... organized answer should be in order!

inspiration

what inspired the graves we dug is currently hard for me to remember. i think i mainly just wanted cowboy ocs? and one of my friends (@/nonsensical-pendulum) has an oc named 'graves' and the name sort of got stuck in my head because i thought it was Cool. and then, for once (this is a rarity for me) the title came pretty quickly after the graves we dug. and i didn't know what it was about for a bit, just that there were cowboys, a mc named graves, and they were digging holes... apparently. and then slowly from there things started to fall into place. unlike a lot of my other wips i feel like tgwd has a bit of a hard to pinpoint starting point, but i also think that's bc a lot of the stuff i had relating to its origins began on the blog i used to have in 2021, but then i deleted it entirely so all of that is lost now LOL

when it came to making it a cyberwestern itself, honestly i saw some cyberwestern style art with cowboys in citypop color schemes and i was like YEAHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH. so i thought it'd be cool to go cyber instead of a traditional western lol.

how its going

so i'mma be straight up, tgwd is on my secondary wips bracket. if you look at my big ol wip list here it kinda breaks it all down, but those on my secondary list are ones where i enjoy working on them but they just don't have the same level of brainrot status as those at the top of my mind--namely paramour and btaf have taken those spots in the past couple of years. so usually how it goes with any of my secondary wips is i'll just be vibing, suddenly think about an aspect of it, think about it for a bit and then perhaps have a bit of a frenzy where i build on it, and then i end up deflecting back to my major ideals lol. so rn (at least for the past hour) i've been thinking about tgwd and getting asks is kinda an excuse to keep focus and work on it. i'll probably end up defecting back to my usual haunts in a few days.

THIS BEING SAID i have written some things for it which i shall get into momentarily

but what's going on?

so basically here's a mini timeline/play by play of what's happening that leads up to the beginning of the wip

firstly, the land is kind of a perpetual night; the sun on this world (haven't decided if its another planet or smthn yet) is pretty dim and so cities and fluorescent lights are the main lightsources of the world. there is also an 'artificial moon' but tbh idk what that means rn.

GRAVES in his early 20s leaves the ranch where he grew up to make a life for himself in the closest city called Rapture. Rapture is a city of glitz and glamor, run by crime lords and greed. he ends up entering "the organization" (it doesn't have a name yet) as an armed hire and gets hired out on different hits by different vendors to do their bidding (which is usually taking out their grudges on other crime lords. the organization has a strict neutrality policy that most everyone respects--if you have enough money for a hit, it'll be done, or you better hire some better guards).

to aid in the ever growing violence in the city, somehow someway the organization develops a special ops unit for their largest jobs, which includes an injection of a serum which manifests certain abilities in their best agents. graves, and his new acquaintance TOMB become some of the first to experience the serum, and this ends with graves gaining a black glow around his feet and an ability to walk silently and through solid objects, and tomb gaining an ability where his mouth glows orange (i haven't decided what it is, but i do know unlike graves or dove, he can't turn his ability off).

the two do solo jobs for awhile, until the organization decides that they need mentors to train new recruits that use the serum and this is how graves ends up meeting DOVE--a former opera star who's ability glows green centered around his eyes. they sort of hit it off immediately, and though tomb warns graves about getting too attached but graves can't really help it. he and dove get. attached.

a few years like this go by, and then the organization gets a huge hit--to take place at one of the biggest centers of crime, a club modeled like an old state building called The Rome, towards the epicenter of Rapture. the organization puts its best agents: graves and tomb, and their two rapidly trustworthy mentees: dove and dawn (tomb's mentee). the situation quickly goes south when their plot for assassination is discovered, and in an effort to save the mission, graves makes well--a grave mistake, and ends up trying to take down the target. unfortunately, the shot misses and ends up hitting dove instead. an explosion goes off afterward, and tomb and graves barely escape with their lives. dawn and dove are presumed dead.

while tomb compartmentalizes and continues on with his work, graves breaks down. and in his grief, he decides to defect from the organization without getting permission first. (after the mission at the rome, graves and dove did get permission to retire, but since the job wasn't done they aren't allowed to leave) since he was also pretty high up, he also has trade secrets and they couldn't just let him go and be a loose canon like that. its easier that if he's not going to comply, that he be dead--and so they send the one person who can catch him after him: tomb. tomb's taking his time, but he's also doing what has to be done.

the whole thing however turns upside down again when dove comes "back" from the grave. he's alive! very much not dead! and from what i'm comfortable sharing at the moment is yes, he was harmed by what happened but he's still very much alive and is ready to make good on their promise: to retire. and if he has to drag graves into making it happen then so be it.

what's written thus far

the official chapter 1 -> the start of the rapture

beginning of chapter 2 -> you're supposed to be dead

i want what you want (or they try talking about it, doesn't work, sleep together to create more problems instead)

do you trust me? (or, dove lets out some of his aggression at a very kicked puppy graves LMAO)

and yeah -- i think that's the most info i got right now! there's a lot of stuff i got to figure out an outline as well. BUT yeah i hope this was helpful :3c

[haikyuuwaifu]

Never done an ask before as I’m usually a silent reader so this is new and hope I’m doing it right 🤩

HOWEVER IVE BEEN PROVIDED SUSTENANCE ILYSM

I did see you made a post asking about what SMAUs and such that we, the ferals, would like to see and mama I got a list bc I’ve continually read your writings like a rat on crack.

Applause

Heartbreak Anniversary (I’ve seen the updates ily)

You’re a Mean One (I’ve also seen those updates)

Locked Out of Heaven

Halloween Special

Someone To You

Plsplsplspls don’t ever feel rushed to update I know you’re busy and you have a life outside of writing and so I want to say thank you so much for providing what you’re able to and for giving us these wonderful writings!! I’ve missed you and your notifications popping up!!

LOVE YOU MAMA HAIKYUU

These have been added to the list! Thank you so much for reading <3 I like to read my stuff before I go to bed. It puts me to sleep when I can read a good fic.

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Hello. How's it going? So, I'm new to the fandom and it seems like I got here while we're in the middle of a ship war and character/actor/team bashing era but I still want to make friends and keep up with the s8 updates. So, my question is: Are there any friendly blogs you recommend that are nice to the characters/actors/canon ships/buddie that might keep up with the s8 production updates or discuss fun theories in the meantime? Please and thank you in advance.

PS: It's okay if you don't want to respond, I know it might be a complicated question at the moment.

Hi!!! Welcome to the fandom!!! Sorry it's chaotic at the moment, I would definitely recommend blocking tags you're not interested in so that you can really tailor what you want to see.

Personally I'm not a Tommy-friendly blog, so if you don't want to see that then I wouldn't recommend following me, though I wouldn't say I post loads of anti stuff, because I don't really want to fight anyone and I prefer focusing on buddie and the rest of the show because it makes me happier!!! My following list is public I think, and you'll find very cool blogs there (again, most are anti BT- not like solely focused on this, but definitely pro buddie and other characters in the show).

I would also MASSIVELY recommend following @911bts BC they have all the show BTS and production updates and they're the backbone of the fandom imo (they're the only account I have Tumblr notifications on for, so when I get a notification I know it's specifically BTS updates and it's so so fun).

Idk if I answered all of your questions but genuinely I am happy to answer any more you have or elaborate further!!! Also maybe if other ppl read this they could give a short description of their blog for anon? Or anyone feel free to add any other advice!!!

Anyway have a great day and I hope you enjoy the leadup to S8, it's gonna be SO FUN (ik there are like drama things happening and also potentially the season might end up just being done strangely BUT I've just simply decided I'm gonna enjoy it anyway)

[la-principessa-nuova]

I need like a dashboard where I can just look in realtime at what’s going on in my body. Bc like… I’m just sitting here in between meetings updating some stuff with my water tracking to try to improve how I’m doing that, and suddenly I just feel *so* overwhelmed.

Like, I look at the notifications on my lock screen and it’s like 2 things and I clear it out in like 5 seconds but it gives me this feeling of helplessness for some reason, like there’s no escaping it.

And I was thinking about how much better notifications were before iOS 15, and how part of the thing that made it worse was how suddenly not being able to control which notifications I see to the extent I could before made me just give up on notifications and that trained my brain to ignore them, so now they’re mostly just visual clutter.

And that was making me feel overwhelmed. And then my sister texts me and that shows up there and I’m just like “ahhhhh!!! more notifications!” but like that’s fine, and that’s what I want in there, but that’s what it’s done to me is that now I see a notification and instead of thinking “ooh, an actionable thing I care about!” it’s “ahhhhh!!!! stop being on my screen!!!”

And I have a similar feeling typing on my phone because something changed and made autocorrect way worse, and now sometimes I’m typing and it feels like so much, and I keep resorting to dictation. And I haven’t been sleeping enough, which is probably mostly to blame for all of this, but I just want to sleep all the time except when it’s time to.

And suddenly I just feel a headache that turns to nausea, and it’s not that I don’t know what could be causing it, but that I don’t know which thing that causes it I need to resolve to make it go away enough to think of the rest.

idk… I’m just really tired and need a break, but not like time off work, like a break from everything. Like a week with no appointments, no garbage to take out, no groceries to run out of, no bills to pay, nothing breaking in my house, no medications to pick up, no emails and notifications in my deadname, no texts from my parents asking why I haven’t answered their texts where they were talking about how much more they liked me before I came out. And the weather has to be nice. And it has to align between laser appointments at that one week where the hairs have mostly shed but the next wave hasn’t started filling in yet, and when I have a wig that is easy to wear.

I’ll just be feeling fine and then one little frustration hits and I feel so tired like I’m at my wits’ end. Like even trying to type that sentence there were 3 times where I kept making the same typo over and over and it felt inescapable and I wanted to give up and throw my phone across the room.

[backwaterheroics]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙!

repost, don't reblog!

NAME : rowen

PRONOUNS : she/her/my liege; we is also common i.e. 'we here at strife industries' etc but it's really just for self-reference

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : carrier pigeon maybe? i'm really bad at all kinds of communication tbqh. we can get some walkietalkies tho & i promise i haven't ever forgotten about u /phil collins voice, u'll be in my heart

chatting on tumblr ims is fine & i do have a discord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ u can even have my whatsapp if u want, but standard messaging & data rates may apply. talk to ur doctor if rowenix is right for u

NAME OF MUSE(s) : this here is my boy kuraudo sutoraifu-waifu but i've written a few other characters here and there; cloud is the only rp blog i have any semblance of presence on atm tho - he is my forevergirl, my homeslice, my big chalupa. for ffvii specifically, i've also written rp for elena and rufus

BEST EXPERIENCE : you! i've met all my best friends through rp which is probably why i'm still even around in the rps

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : i don't like it when ppl say they do not like the chara i am literally writing at that moment. so like, if you don't like cloud, why are you here..... we don't have any money... we've got nothin for ya.... pls smash that unfollow button and do not hit the notification bell....,other than that tho, i don't really care. it's the internet. i've seen 4chan

MUSE PREFERENCES : paris hilton voice; i'll take five more of these little blonde bitches; fr tho i like charas who have issues with the self/who have a man vs self literary conflict kinda thing going on. i also like side-chars who don't have a lot of lore coz then i don't have to start from scratch like with an oc, but i still have freedom in the preassembled sandbox u kno?? i don't have time for a rowenverse

PLOTS OR MEMES : spontaneous stuff is easier for me; plotted stuff can get too detailed and then i freak myself out about it bc of anxiety about quality & expectations. that aside, i'll do either. if we go plotted i'd rather go 'lightly plotted' as in we talk about an idea and then just run with it, with minor course corrections as we go should the plane not take off as expected

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i personally tend to match length but sometimes the words just gotta come out and your one to three liner will have a 500 word reply. i have no preference from what i receive to what i give. it just is what it is and i'm grateful ur even taking the time to spend it with me

BEST TIME TO WRITE : when something else more important needs to get done. we love executive dysfunction. like right now, i should be finishing up a work project for tomorrow's meeting and yet....

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : our sense of humor is the same, or at least similar... cloud's social awareness is probably better than mine. neither of us talk a lot. is that good enough????

TAGGED BY: vctlan & then everyone i'm following who is still active has already done this i'm pretty sure... so if you haven't been tagged before and u see this, then i'm tagging u ok -- tell me abt u and be my friend

[neopuppy]

Honestly I can't be the only one who absolutely despises the idea of the new nct subunit right? Don't get me wrong those new members are amazing but the whole nct 'vibe' is kinda not there any more. Esp with them being so much younger. Idk anymore. Not tryna hate on the new ones at all its just that nct as a whole won't feel that close to home anymore . Is it just me?

oh yeah, no LMAO, definitely not just you!!!

I have nct notifs on and had to block that new account bc- I DO NOT CARE🗣️🗣️🗣️

nct is 127, Dream, and Wayv to me(and nct U when they do stuff, except Baggy Jeans, embarrassing ash)

im not anti the new unit or anything but after SM said the limitless concept is done and clearly stopped giving a shit abt nct in general I have no reason to continue caring abt their new groups even if they want to spin it as nct-adjacent

personally after the lawsuits exo have been going thru and having to see their mess with SM recently, I am beyond completely done with that company. they do not deserve my support at all, I wish I could detach but I do reallyyyyyyyy love 127/dream/wayv, sadly

I want whats best for them, and this isnt it