#bc ive been using grounding techniques for months and ive been working so goddamn hard to reclaim pink | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frecklystars · 9 months

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god im so excited for the Barbie movie today. I might be a bit tense while seeing my triggers on screen but honestly I’ve been doing so so so well handling my ptsd the last few weeks and I'm very proud of myself!!!!!

there’s a few triggers I’ve been actively working on reclaiming and I KNOW I’m going to be okay watching the movie bc I am not letting anybody take this from me. I know I’m gonna wanna see it more than once. I even bought myself a cute pink skirt for it ;w;

#I’m gonna wear pink glitter in my hair too for opening night #woof #like i know im gonna be rly tense but i have been doing SO much better than i was just a month ago #if anything ill just be incredibly tense at first. but i genuinely think ill relax more as the movie progresses #bc ive been using grounding techniques for months and ive been working so goddamn hard to reclaim pink #WHICH IS SUCH HUGE PROGRESS FOR ME to think back to january when i couldnt look at pink at ALL #and i think seeing pink literally every single second for 2 hours straight in the barbie movie #is gonna also help my brain be like 'oh hey everything is fine' help it to become desensitized #bc ive been doing exposure therapy and im doing so much better than i was even just one month ago!!!!!!!#barbie is my girlfriend. and ken is my boyfriend. and i have two hands they can hold #god!!! you know how many barbies im gonna kiss!!!!! SO MANY #this is MY movie i have been so fucking excited to see!! its my number one favorite thing ive been looking forward to!!!!#i have wanted to see this! so! fucking! badly! and fuck anybody who tried to ruin that for me #i dont want ptsd to control my life #i feel like im riding a bull and gripping it by the horns while its trying to kick me off while im yelling Not Today Bitch #thats what trying to reclaim triggers feels like #but i can fucking feel it working i can feel myself getting better with some of these triggers i cant believe it #and i think just a year from now most of these triggers wont be severe anymore #which is my goal. i dont even need them to be cured completely i just want to function normally #cannot tell u how fucking unreal it is to have so many triggers that are like. normal everyday stuff #colors. clothes. phrases. transformers. im taking ALL of that shit back #STARTING WITH PINK ONE OF MY FAVORITE GODDAMN COLORS 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#THE EMOJI LOOKS RED ON DESKTOP BUT THAT IS OKAY.

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