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iamanartichoke · 3 years

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I started typing this in the tags of this post, and it got too long, and then I was going to just reblog the post with this as an addition but that got too long too, and I've been meaning to make a post addressing free will vs. predestination since the premiere anyway, so - here we go. Spoilers, obviously.

Cut for length and spoilers. Please blacklist #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, and #loki spoilers.

This is kinda rough and I'm not sure it actually makes any sense but I'm posting it anyway.

I realize that the post is a joke, obviously (and it is hilarious) but I started thinking about the implications and couldn't stop because it's honestly a goldmine of existential reflection and an inevitable crisis or three.

Let's look at a scenario.

Say you're late to work for reasons totally beyond your control: your neighbor stopped you to ask a question on your way out the door; you swung through the drive-thru for a quick coffee but the person in front of you is ordering a full continental breakfast ffs (this happened to me this morning); there was an explosion and then the Winter Soldier randomly dropped from the sky and landed on the hood of your car. Whatever. Shit happens.

So you're late, but on this particular day, your lateness somehow has consequences that lead to and create a nexus event and the next thing you know, you're being arrested, tried, convicted of time crimes and ultimately (a version of you is) erased from existence.

And this is if it's not even your fault you're late.

Now say that you're late and it is your fault. You took a new route on a whim and drove a little more slowly because you passed a particularly pretty meadow; you hit the brakes at a yellow light instead of speeding through bc you wanted the quick chance to check your email; you sat in your car for a few extra minutes in the parking lot, because maybe your job sucks and you really needed those extra minutes today to psyche yourself up into getting out of the car and going inside and clocking in.

These little choices are you exercising your free will. Because to me, free will is all or nothing - it doesn't just apply to the big decisions.

On the other hand, predestination means that regardless of the choices you make or if it's a big decision or not, everything you do is ultimately going to lead you to a set point or position or place (your destiny).

And I can kind of look at it like a GPS - that is, there are a number of "insignificant" choices you could make and they will still lead you to where you're predestined to go. Like how a GPS will reconfigure your route if you miss your exit on the highway. It doesn't matter if you took Route A or Route B, you're still going to end up at your destination.

But say sometimes the route does matter. Say that there are certain scenarios in which there's only one road (for example, 14 million losses vs 1 win) and you can only get on it by following a specific series of events and what determines the ultimate outcome is whether or not you're late to work that day.

If you decide to wait those extra five minutes in the parking lot, that means that you weren't in your cubicle at 9:03 when Stanley from Accounting wandered by with his giant stack of papers, and when Mary Sue said hello to him, he got distracted and tried to wave and ended up dropping those papers. Had you been at your cubicle, you'd have swooped down to help him but since you weren't there, Stanley is crouched on the floor alone and doesn't notice Joe coming at him with a paper trolley so when he stands up, he and Joe collide and Stanley loses his balance and goes face-first toward the trolley and breaks his nose when he hits the metal handle on his way down.

Now Stanley has to go to the hospital to get his nose set because you wanted to sit in your car and spend five extra minutes hating your life that morning.

If the sacred timeline says that Stanley is supposed to be in that ER at that specific time on that specific day, and no other set of circumstances would get him there, because this will ultimately take Stanley down the road to whatever greater journey he's supposed to go on, then it has to happen. But say you exercise your free will and decide not to wait those five minutes, because the free will applies to every choice you make, even the tiny, insignificant ones. You chose to put on your big person pants and took a deep breath and just head inside - and because you chose to do that and because you were at your cubicle to help Stanley with his papers, Stanley never ends up in the ER and the timeline that's supposed to happen is suddenly at risk and the TVA has to get involved (I assume).

So having free will introduces way, way too many variables into a fixed timeline to ever keep track, because you're taking these tiny, seemingly insignificant choices that people are making every minute of every day, and you're multiplying them by trillions of sentient beings in the universe, and you're saying the fate of the timeline and reality itself depends on all of these beings either always making the choice they're supposed to make or constantly sending the TVA out whenever they don't.

It's fair to conclude, then, that both free will and a fixed, single timeline can't exist at the same time. Either you adhere to the fixed timeline and everyone does exactly what they're supposed to do every second of every minute of existence, or you have free will and autonomy over all of your decisions, no matter how big or small, and those decisions can result in a number of outcomes, ultimately leading you to one of several possible destinations.

Case in point: Tony didn't have to snap his fingers in Endgame. He chose to. Had he not, Thanos would have won. It doesn't matter if there was one way to victory or 14 million ways to failure; the timeline could ultimately only go one of two ways and the choice Tony willingly made determined that Thanos lost. It wasn't predetermined because if Tony had not chosen to snap his fingers, the timeline would have gone the other way.

My personal belief - and this isn't necessarily for the MCU, but in general - is that we do possess free will and the future is ever shifting and changing because nothing is written in stone. It holds up against most, if not all, of the world's belief systems. For example, if you believe that people have guardian angels, the rule is generally that your guardian angels can help you but you have to ask them; they can't decide to intervene without your permission because to do so would infringe upon your free will.

Similarly, you can go on etsy and pay $5 for a funsies psychic reading or pay a lot more money for an in-depth, specific tarot reading and both will tell you that the outcomes may change depending on the paths you take, and that their ultimate advice is for you to keep your focus on your goals and your own self so that you can be subconsciously manifesting the best possible future for yourself. (Not that I know this from experience. It was one time. It was a few times. My point stands, and also stop judging me.)

To get back to the MCU, though - if you determine that both a single, fixed timeline and free will can't simultaneously exist, and your ultimate purpose is upholding said timeline and not letting anyone fuck it up, lest it break off into lots of different branches, then it poses a pretty serious moral and/or ethical question of - who decides what choices we make and what paths we're destined for? The time lizards? Who gave them that authority? Did anyone, or did they just manifest themselves into existence one day, create the universe, and then decide all of the rules (and, if so, where does that leave the norns and the gods and other super powerful beings who are generally thought to be in charge of things)?

If free will doesn't exist and everyone is acting based on what has been predetermined for them by some higher being (or, in this case, time lizards), it takes away our autonomy, and if everything we do and every single tiny step we take is decided for us, what makes us any different than cogs in a machine just following orders? What separates us from robots?

Speaking of robots, it's interesting to me that the TVA's screening process (if you can call it that) has a failsafe against robots specifically. Any robot that might come through is destroyed immediately and in this case, “not a robot” is defined, more or less, as a sentient being that possesses a soul. What does the TVA have against robots if their ultimate goal is ensuring that the robotic machinations of the time lizards are consistently carried out to protect the sacred timeline?

A soul makes you human; the energy of the soul is what you, at the core, are. It can be assumed that having a soul also means that you have some sort of moral and ethical code by which you live your life but, if you don't also have free will, then what is the point of possessing a soul and a moral and ethical code?

Loki is a villain and he's told by Mobius, the TVA, Odin, and pretty much everyone who ever meets him that the only thing he's good for - the only reason he exists - is to cause pain and suffering and death. This has been predetermined for him; this is not his fault and he did not choose it. And every single choice he makes has either already been destined as the choice he was supposed to make, or will be pruned so it won't grow into the wrong timeline. Ultimately Loki can change neither his final destination, nor the purpose and meaning of his existence.

Which leads me to the theory that the several Loki variants that the TVA keeps coming across are the result of Loki consistently resisting against his predetermined path; he's trying to find the timeline where he is able to latch onto and keep his own free will in defiance of the timekeepers but, so far, he hasn't been successful. This could segue into why the current Variant is now going scorched earth and just obliterating the main timeline completely - because if there is no sacred timeline, there's nothing dictating who or what Loki can be, and free will is regained. If there's a multiverse that branches and branches beyond anyone's control, then there must be a branch in there, somewhere, where Loki can exist on his own terms and decide how his own story goes.

This also might be a theory for why Loki is already setting his sights on taking over the TVA (assuming that's not just something he told the variant for reasons). But my original point in delving into all this is to ask: if Loki is predestined to always be a villain whose story plays out exactly the same way because that's what's supposed to happen, then how can anyone ever hold his misdeeds against him? He's literally just existing as the timekeepers decided he would exist and everyone is blaming him for it.

And this leads me to ask, as well, if one's soul is generally good, and one possesses more good traits than bad, what is the logic in making them exist only for pain and destruction? If it's for a greater good, then it stands to reason Loki is not the only one predestined for misery, and what greater good could come from all that suffering?

Conclusion: the existence of the TVA as an organization means that there is one fixed, sacred timeline but the existence of said timeline is immoral and unethical because it means no one actually has any free will at all in the MCU. The very notion of heroes and villains is pointless because it has nothing to do with your own qualities or morality, it's literally the luck of the draw. In order to have free will, the sacred timeline has to be destroyed, and so my prediction is that the Big Bad of the Loki series is not the TVA and not the time keepers but the actual timeline itself, and the entire fate of the MCU rests on whether or not Loki can ultimately succeed.

Also, don't be late for work.

#well this was a journey #smfh #i hope it at least makes *some* sense #loki series meta #loki tv series spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #long post #i should have revised this before posting lmao #i went back and edited some of it but meh #it's pretty nonsensical i think but also i confuse myself really easily so

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bopbopstyles · 4 years

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3. More Than a Song

SERIES RATING: M (sex)

CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 9.7k

MASTERLIST | INSPO TAG | ASK

Y/N promised herself she would never date a musician. It was her one rule–her only rule, actually–when it came to dating. But then, Harry Styles rolled into her life and asked her to break it, just this once. And this is what happened.

a/n: prepare for ANGST! and dunkirk premiere harry aka one of his best looks ever :) also thank u to @havethetimeofyourstyles for making my line breaks bc i’m inept at making things xoxo

pls reblog to spread the word about only exception! 🥰

“Baby,” Harry said, turning to her from where he stood in his closet. “Can you help me with my collar? I can’t get it.”

Y/N set down her phone—she was ready first, which wasn’t surprising considering it took Harry ages to get ready, partially because he kept getting distracted with her. He’d touch her, run his hands all over her, ask if he could get her out of her lingerie, and she’d have to remind him that she’d barely even had it on and they had an important event. “Sure.”

Harry looked dashing—he always did. After much debate, they had decided on a simple white silk short-sleeved button down and a pair of flared black pants, cool enough for May in LA, but still perfectly Harry. Y/N had painted his nails last night a pastel purple while they had watched a documentary about sheep—which Harry had selected—and the color popped against the neutrals of the rest of the outfit. Shoes were still up in the air, but Y/N was trying to get him to wear the yellow loafers he’d gotten recently, the ones she was so obsessed with she was considering stealing for herself.

Somehow Harry always managed to mess up his collars before big nights, the nerves probably getting to him. Y/N smoothed the material on his shoulders to relax him before popping up his collar and folding it back down crisply. “There you go.” In the mirror in front of Harry, her eyes trailed down his body, from his sweet curls she had labored over styling in the bathroom, to the recently tailored pants he wore. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed, a smile dancing onto Harry’s face at the action. “Nervous, bubs?”

He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Bit. More for you to hear it than anyone else.”

The honesty of his statement brought butterflies to her tummy. Harry had been in and out of meetings for the past few months getting together the release of his debut album and putting the final touches on it, but at no point had he let her hear it. She suspected it was because he was scared she’d hate it, but when she asked her dad about it, he told her to think about it as his journal. His journal of a past that Y/N hadn’t been a part of. That had made Y/N understand a bit better, the prospect of being nervous of what she’d think of him more the worry than a worry of what she’d think of the music. So she nuzzled her nose into his shoulder, careful not to get lipstick on the fabric, and told him, “I’m going to love it. It’ll be perfect, just like you.”

Harry’s arms wrapped backwards so he could hold her to him and they stood there, holding one another, basking in each other’s presence before everyone else arrived. It had been a busy couple months for them to start a relationship—Y/N was swamped at work, her boss having left so she had to take on extra work, and Harry was releasing his album, Dunkirk was coming out in the summer, and his tour started in the fall. It was a lot to say the least, and Y/N tried not to think about it too often because she’d get all in her head and ignore Harry’s texts for hours until he called her and asked her if she wanted gummy worms or Hershey’s for movie night. Then, she’d remind herself that they were doing good—really good, even. Better than other relationships that she had been in for this long. Usually this was when she got bored, but with Harry she kept falling for him more and more every day they spent with each other.

He was like a drug, and she was addicted.

“We should head down,” Y/N said, brushing back from him. “Wear the yellow ones, yeah?”

He mumbled something under his breath about her being bossy and coming for Lambert’s job and she snorted, leaving him in the walk-in closet to straighten himself out. Her phone in her hand, she slipped on her heels, a summer sandal with a platform so her feet didn’t hurt, the perfect compliment to her flowing sundress she’d selected for the release party. When Harry had seen it he’d promptly asked if she could take it off so he could ravish her, so she decided it was a good choice. It emphasized her curves in a way that made her feel confident and she’d pinned her hair over one shoulder, the earrings Harry had gotten her for their three-month anniversary on display.

Re-emerging, Harry rolled his eyes over her body and she gave him a soft smile at the way his eyes screamed with desire. “See something you like?”

“Fuck yes,” he cursed. “Can’t wait to have you all to myself later.” Hands in hers, he pressed a searing kiss to her lips, the kind that made her toes curl, before pulling back. “C’mon, Azoff is yelling at me over text about being late to my own party.”

“It’s literally downstairs,” she pointed out. “He’s just mad he can’t embarrass you in front of your friends.”

Harry laughed, arm tucked around her waist as they descended the stairs of his house. He’d bought it at the end of February, a birthday gift to himself, and Y/N had thought to herself at the time that it wasn’t about her, it was about him. But it was kind of hard whenever he had her help him pick out all the furniture, making sure she approved of the colors he painted the walls and the patio furniture.

Downstairs, the party was in full force. Harry hadn’t invited too many people, mostly the same crowd as his birthday. Since it was at his house, he was hesitant to give the address out to too many people, but ultimately he wanted to be able to do whatever the fuck he wanted to celebrate, no paps around. Also, it was hot and he had a pool, so he had told everyone to bring a swimsuit just in case they wanted to take a dip. Y/N had persuaded him to keep it simple and they’d ordered pizza from his favorite place and she made some a ton of margaritas for everyone to help themselves to. Jeff was left in charge of the door when Harry was late finishing getting dressed, and she could tell that he had done a fine job. The tunes were going, people were drinking, and everyone seemed happy. He had even put the album countdown that Y/N had spent two hours making that morning on the TV.

“Stay close to me, please?” Harry asked her, bending his head to whisper in her ear when they reached the group.

Y/N nodded, and Harry began happily talking to Jeff. Y/N started up a conversation with another one of the Full Stop employees who had come who she’d met at a brunch a few weeks ago, plucking some details from her brain about her boyfriend to check-in about. Then, a familiar face flashed in the crowd. “Hanna!”

Harry had suggested the idea of inviting her best friends to the party and Y/N had leapt at the idea. The prospect of having her two favorite people be there with her to celebrate her boyfriend was her idea of a perfect night. Hanna’s red hair popped up, her smile giddy from seeing Y/N. Cutting through the crowd, she quickly made it to Y/N, who wrapped her best friend up in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said. “Find it okay?”

Hanna nodded. “Security at the gate did not want to let me in though. Jamie is on his way—Cole called while he was walking out the door.” Jamie and Cole had been together for years and Y/N decided the first time she met Cole that there wasn’t anyone better for Jamie, and Jamie seemed to agree. “How are you?”

“Amazing,” Y/N replied and she truly was. She felt like she was on cloud nine right now, the energy bouncing off of Harry absorbing into every one of her pores. “Excited to finally hear it.”

“You should be.” Hanna leaned over and tapped Harry on the shoulder.

His attention shifted from some work-related conversation with Jeff quickly over to his girlfriend’s best friend. “Oh, hello Hanna,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“No place I’d rather be,” Hanna replied. “Now can I steal Y/N?”

Harry’s eyes lingered on Y/N, but he gave her a warm smile. “‘Course.”

Y/N followed her best friend out onto the patio, giving hugs and saying hello to the friends of Harry’s she’d met during the past few months of them being together. Harry watched her with awe at how well she had fit into his life, she’d succeeded faster than any other girl he’d ever dated. The tidbits of information she remembered and the way she made an effort to be present in the conversations, her deep knowledge of music and the industry coming in handy. He loved having a girl at her side who knew what all of his team did without him having to explain it to her. It was small, but it made a difference to him.

“H,” Mitch said, pulling his gaze from his girlfriend back to the conversation he’d been having with Mitch, Adam, and Sarah. “You good?”

“Yeah,” he replied, taking a sip of the margaritas Y/N had made for the party. She’d slaved over them all day while he was on calls and doing interviews and he appreciated it so much. He reminded himself to tell her later when he had her alone and could tell her properly.

Sarah smiled at him knowingly. “He’s just looking at Y/N, as usual.”

Mitch and Adam chuckled, but Harry frowned. “Am I not allowed to look at my girl?”

“You are,” Adam said, “just be careful, mate. You told us about the rule, remember?”

The Rule. The goddamn rule that controlled this relationship more than he felt like he did, sometimes. He didn’t know how much Y/N thought about it at this point in their relationship, but then again it was still technically pretty early in the grand scheme of things. But for him, it was a constant reminder than their time together was fleeting, that at any point she might want to leave him, his lifestyle too hard. And it’s not that he blamed her. He just hated that it was a possibility. “I know.”

“How’s it going?” Adam pressed. Harry had been distant these past few weeks, holing himself up in the house with Y/N every chance he got when they weren’t rehearsing and he wasn’t on a call. It was hectic and he knew that his friends worried about him.

Harry took another sip of his margarita, eyes finding Y/N out on the patio laughing with Hanna, hair blowing in the wind. “Been good. She seems really happy,” he continued at the sight of her smile. “Bit nervous about tonight, if I’m being honest though.” He’d told Y/N the same thing, but the pit in his stomach still lingered. She had said she was excited, but he didn’t know how she would react to him releasing an album full of songs about his exes and flings.

They all got it though. “About which song?”

“All of ‘em,” he said nervously, and it was true. Y/N came into his life after the album was done, the idea of adding a song about her impossible. Even though he could’ve written dozens—he already had, the voice memos on his phone to prove it. Sometimes he’d sneak away to the bathroom while she slept to sing something that popped into his head, and the few that he’d shown the band they liked. It was all material for the next album, they told him. Some of them had even become full-fledged songs after a few hours locked in his office, but he hadn’t shared them yet. They still felt too raw.

Sarah reached out a hand and squeezed Harry’s shoulder. “She’ll get it, H. Her dad’s a musician, you know? If there was anyone who would understand, it would be her.”

And she was probably right. But there was a feeling in his gut that Harry couldn’t shake—that tonight wouldn’t end well for them. He’d felt it when he had woken up this morning and no matter how many time he kissed Y/N to make it go away, it lingered and it was making his brain go wild.

He hoped it was just the nerves.

The night passed quickly. There were speeches, a cake, Jeff pulled out a bottle of champagne, and Y/N had rejoined Harry at his side for the most part. And at this party, there was no question as to who she was—to everyone she was “Y/N, my girlfriend,” and Harry loved it. Particularly the look on her face that she would get every once in a while when her eyes caught his. He didn’t know what to call it, but he just knew that he felt the same way.

Before he knew it, it was 11:59 and everyone had gathered in the living room. The TV had the countdown on that Y/N had designed, the album cover with the numerical countdown over it, another bottle of champagne in Harry’s hand, ready to pop. Y/N stood a few people away from him, watching him with that look in her eyes that she’d been giving him all night that made him weak in the knees and made him curious what she would do to him when they were upstairs. He knew why Y/N was keeping her distance right now—she had mentioned it once before when they were curled up in bed after Harry asked her to be put down as a co-host for the party, that this success was his and his alone. That she was here at the end and she wanted it to be all his. She was here to support him and give him kisses after, but it was all his.

“10, 9, 8.” This was it. It was Harry’s debut album, his first solo record. It was weird for the rest of the guys to not be here when an album dropped. Usually, they were all standing together with bottles of champagne, ready to celebrate with one another.

“7, 6, 5, 4.” And Harry didn’t know which one was worse and which was better. Maybe they were both equally as wonderful, because he had other friends here to stand by his side. Jeff, Sarah, Mitch, Adam. James, floating around somewhere. His mum and sister tried to be here but Gemma got sick and Anna wanted to stay behind to take care of her.

“3, 2,” He had Y/N. He had Y/N’s excited expression, her wide eyes and flushed cheeks, the look of pride on her face that he treasured.

“1!” But this was his, his success, his win. With the first notes of the album playing in the room, he popped the bottle of champagne and with the bubbles running down the side of the bottle, he took a long swig.

Cheers went up around him, his best friends celebrating his biggest success of his career thus far, one he’d fought long and hard for. One he was immensely proud of and he hoped he would always look back on fondly. And the sound of his album blaring in his house’s sound system—the sound of Meet Me in the Hallway, it brought him to tears.

“Aww, man,” Adam brought him into a hug, patting Harry softly on his back. “Y/N! Come here!”

Y/N was there in an instant, wrapping Harry up in her arms, his head falling onto her shoulder, sobs wracking his body as they stood there. He didn’t even care that his friends were all there witnessing him crying into his girlfriend’s shoulder, he was just so overwhelmed.

“You okay, bubs?” Y/N asked, petting the back of his head softly.

“It’s a lot,” he replied softly, trying to find the words. “Happy. But also just…”

Her hands ran up and down his back, rubbing circles. “I know, baby. You don’t need to explain, okay?”

Harry didn’t reply, just tried to find his breath and stop the tears that were welling in his eyes. And when he did, he lifted his head and his lips met Y/N’s, the sound of whoops and cat-calls breaking out around them. The middle finger that Harry raised to them all did nothing to stifle them either. “Thank you,” he said into her hair when they broke.

The feeling of her lips on his neck, a soft kiss, brought him to his knees. “Always.”

And Harry hoped it was true.

While the rest of the party swirled around her—dancing had broke out, James had started making themed drinks, his favorite being the Sign of the Times one—Y/N sat right in front of the speaker, listening to every word of the album. It was her first time hearing it and she knew Harry would probably play it for her later, but she wanted to hear it now. She wanted to hear his pride and joy, the thing that had him beaming and laughing with his friends, belting out the lyrics with Mitch and Adam in a conga line that was worming its way through the room.

And what she heard broke her heart in so many ways.

Y/N knew that music, and much of art, stemmed from pain and hurt. A good amount of it was also about love, but the songs that were some of the rawest, the ones that hit home for most people, were the ones about our darkest moments. Harry’s album was full of them. Heartbreak, heartache, regrets, addiction to people and things. It was chock full of every one of his deepest darkest secrets, especially the women who he had loved before he met her. There was a part of her that knew that he would tell her in his own time about the stories of some of these women—he had mentioned a few when she’d asked about them—and that she didn’t need to push, but there was this disgusting, self-sabotaging part of her that wanted to know every sordid detail, even though she knew it would hurt her.

This was one of the many reasons she had always told herself she would never date a musician, but more importantly that she would never fall for one. Because their relationship, their joys and pitfalls, heartache and brightest moments, it was all fodder for a song, an album, a career. It wasn’t the artist’s fault, that’s how it worked, but that didn’t make it any easier to be the person they were writing about.

Was that all she was? Another girl for Harry to write a song about?

She wanted to be happy for him, to be glowing and beaming for him, but the part of her that she hated, the part that conjured the worst possible parts of people, it was crawling out of her head. It was twisting Harry and she knew it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t believe it.

The album only lasted 40 minutes, but in those 40 minutes the party died down. People had jumped in the pool while Y/N sat by the speaker, they had finished their drinks, they had said their goodbyes, the object of the event passed. Hanna and Jamie came over and gave her hugs, concerned looks on their faces, and told her to call them if she needed anything. When she looked up, the last notes of From the Dining Table fading, it was just her left.

A light from the patio twinkled and she could see the water rippling under the moonlight. Harry.

She left the stereo silent, not cuing up another playlist, and tugged off her shoes, then her dress. Following the pull of the man who had written such a beautiful, heartbreaking, hopeful record, she walked to the patio.

“There you are.” He was floating on his back in just his boxers, which didn’t surprise Y/N in the slightest. The fairy lights they had strung up together were dim in the nighttime darkness, but just bright enough so she could see Harry and all his beauty. “Look bloody gorgeous, love.”

Y/N tucked her hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, knotting the hair so it stayed. “Finished the album,” she said, walking to the water’s edge.

“Yeah?” Harry swam over to her, leaning his head on her thighs that rested on the concrete that lined the pool. “What’d you think?”

She couldn’t help the heartbroken smile that graced her features, because she was too tired to lie to him. Exhausted from trying to pretend that she didn’t think about the fact that he could leave her at any moment, that the insecurities of who she was and who he was didn’t catch up to her sometimes. His fingertips brushed at her cheeks and Y/N realized she was crying.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” He hoisted himself out of the water and hooked one of his legs around her waist, pulling her into his wet skin. It was cold against the night air, but somehow Harry was still warm to her.

“I don’t know how to say this,” she said slowly, struggling to find her words.

Fingers drifted up and down her back. “Just do your best.”

She tried not to think about the fact that she was crying on his album release day, that they were having this conversation now. One that sat in the back of her mind when she was alone and Harry couldn’t banish it. “The album is beautiful, Harry,” she started, “but it’s about a past that I wasn’t a part of.” Harry was quiet, but his arms didn’t move from their place around her, so she forged on. “I know that artists write from their experience, and that this album was done before I met you, but there’s this part of me, this horrible part that I utterly despise, that is jealous of them. The women who you wrote about. And the fact that it’s them that you’re going to sing about on stage every night. Does that make sense?”

The brush of his chin against her spine showed her that yes, he understood.

“And,” she continued, voice breaking, “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that maybe I’m going to be a song.”

“Of course you’re going to be a song,” Harry said, his voice soft and sweet.

He didn’t get it. To him, being a song was an honor, but to her, it was a threat almost. “No—it’s that I’m going to be only a song.”

The man next to her didn’t say a word. The chirp of the crickets stretched between their bodies, which were still close on the concrete floor, not a muscle moved.

“I don’t want to only be a song.” Y/N’s voice was hoarse, sobs wracking her body she didn’t expect, didn’t want. She couldn’t have this conversation if she was crying, but she couldn’t hold them in either. It was her biggest fear, the one that festered below all of the others, threatening to consume the relationship she had with a man she was falling for. And falling was the only way to describe it—without any support, a free fall that was utterly terrifying but also blissful peaceful.

Suddenly, his fingers swept across her neck, brushing against her sensitive skin. “Y/N,” he whispered, “you could never be just a song. You’re—you’re like the stars and the moon to me. In that room I could always feel you, wherever you were, and I didn’t want to be anywhere where you weren’t. And maybe this is too fast and too soon, but what I feel for you, fuck Y/N how can you not see how much you are to me?”

He pulled her head so she faced him, his eyes teary to match her own. “Do you hear me? You’re so much more than a song. You’re an album. You’re my life’s work, my masterpiece, a symphony. A song can’t contain how I feel for you, it’s just a piece of a billion I could write.”

Soft as a feather, his lips pressed to her cheeks and then up and across her forehead, over her eyelids, barely leaving a mark but a searing fire in his wake that shook Y/N’s core. “And Y/N, you’re better than a song. You’re my life. You’re here, you’re real, you’re with me. Y/N, you will never be just a song to me. You never could be. Not to me.”

Y/N rested her forehead against his, inhaling his cologne and exhaling her feelings for him. He managed to rip down all her defenses, the ones she had spent years building up, and it was frightening. But then she looked at him, the way he smiled at her, the way he kissed her, the way he said her name, and it wasn’t quite as scary. She hoped he could feel how much she cared for him in the way she kissed him, their tears blending into one as they scrambled for each other. Lips breaking and meeting, desperate for more and more and more. Her fingers gripped the back of his head, holding him to her, wanting to have his whole body imprinted on hers.

“Y/N,” he breathed, “you heard me? You understand?”

“Yes,” she replied softly, “I hear you.” She brushed her fingers through his hair gently, curling the wet strands back. “You may need to remind me sometimes.”

“Always,” he whispered, catching her kiss with his own, tugging her into him, arms around her body in a vice grip.

She lost herself in Harry, him an ocean and her a boat lost at sea. Maybe it was their conversation or the night or the alcohol flowing through their veins, but it felt different. The way he kissed her felt heavier, her moans a prayer, his fingers on his back a weight she never wanted lifted. Her legs wrapped around his waist so she was firmly in his lap, arms thrown over his shoulders, their bare bodies except for their underwear pressed against each other without a molecule of air between them.

His lips drew a line across the top of her shoulder, a fire building in her belly as his fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra. It was a light pink she’d worn just for him and when he nudged at the strap with his nose, letting it slip from her shoulders, she didn’t care that he could barely see it. She’d show him tomorrow morning. He pulled the fabric away and bent his head, licking at one of her nipples and then the other, gasps falling from her mouth like poetry. Without meaning to, her hips rolled over his cock, the thin fabric of their underwear doing nothing to keep the heat of her center from touching his sensitive skin.

He moaned her name, the sound muffled against her neck as he sucked a love bite into the spot that made her keen every time he nipped into it. She rocked again on him, his fingers digging into her skin so hard it would leave marks tomorrow but she didn’t care. In fact, she wanted to have his marks on her tomorrow, she wanted to show the world that she wasn’t just a song, she was his, she was his girlfriend and she made him feel this way.

Hands on skin, he pressed her down onto the concrete so she was lying down, her ankles tucked around his hips, anchoring her to him. When his hips bucked into hers, she let out a sharp cry, the angle brushing her clit perfectly. “Right there?” He mumbled, nipping and tugging on her nipple, laving a circle that left her squirming against the concrete.

“Off,” she whispered, tugging at his boxers with her hands. “Wanna feel you.” With his help, they shimmied off his boxers without too much difficulty and Y/N let out a sigh of relief when she could feel his cock brush against her covered folds. Reaching a hand down, she brushed the pad of her thumb across his tip, a pained hiss flying from Harry’s throat. He was sensitive and Y/N loved it.

They didn’t have a condom, but she didn’t care. She’d been on birth control for years and she knew Harry hadn’t slept with anyone else since she found her way into his life. Plus, she needed him—she wanted to feel him, raw and bare inside of her.

They were going to have sex on the concrete next to his pool, but she didn’t care. They had had sex before and they would have sex again. She just needed him in a desperate, crawling way. When he nudged at her underwear she pressed into him, letting him pull them down her legs without a second thought.

“Condom,” Harry mumbled as she chased after his lips, open mouthed and heavy.

“It’s okay,” she said, fingers digging into his shoulder blades. “Want you like this.”

Harry’s head dropped to the space between her neck and shoulder, the groan that filled the air unlike anything she had heard before. “Gonna ruin me,” he whispered, brushing his cock against her folds. Y/N whimpered at the sensation, her fingers begging him for more, for anything she would give him. When his fingers brushed her clit, his name tumbled from her lips without abandon.

“Harry, please,” she panted, fingers deep in his hair.

That was all it took. She was so wet from the foreplay and just him that he didn’t even need to stretch her out. Her mouth fell open as he pushed inside, a mewl landing on his lips as he kissed her. Slowly, he pulled out and then back in, both of them groaning from the sensation of him being bare inside her. He felt impossibly close, every ridge and edge of him pressing against her in the most perfect way. She didn’t know if she could use condoms again, because holding Harry to her chest, arms around his shoulders as he fucked slowly, deeply, into her, her able to feel every inch of her, it was bliss on a new level. A sensation she didn’t know she was missing with him.

Her ankles hitched higher on his hips and when he pushed back in he hit a new angle, a groan ripping from his throat that set her on fire. “Can I go faster?” He said with a grunt. “I—I don’t know how much—“

“Yes,” she whimpered at his words.

He didn’t wait. He drew back and into her, pistoning his hips at a pace she couldn’t even describe, hitting that spot deep inside of her that made her eyes roll back over and over. How he managed to do that she didn’t know, but he deserved an award. Fingers grabbing at his skin in desperation for something to hold her together, Y/N gasped and exhaled his name, a plea and a beg and a prayer all in one. Her back hurt from the concrete but she didn’t care, she just wanted to finish, to feel him release deep inside of her.

Then he thumbed over her clit and she arched up, back leaving the concrete as the fire deep within her threatened to bubble over. When he start brushing circles there, Y/N gripped his shoulders like they would keep her anchored to Earth, her body possibly transcending. Harry bent his head and sucked a love bite on her breast, the puncture of skin forcing her head back, unable to keep it together.

“You close?” He asked, littering her chest with kisses, “Please tell me you are, I can’t, I can’t hold on…”

She mumbled a yes as he drove deep inside of her, swiveling his hips in a brutal way that left her hands squeezing his butt cheeks to get him to do it again. When he did, she swore she saw stars. “Gonna come,” she said, eyes searching for his lips in the low lighting. “Kiss?”

Without hesitation, he kissed her, open mouthed and dirty and sloppy and perfect. She wanted every rough-edged and sweet part of him, every kiss and press of his body against hers. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he chanted as he pressed into her again and again, her body drawing tighter and tighter. Then, he pinched her clit and she came, the ball in her tummy unravelling, hips bucking up against him as she rode out her high. Her eyes stayed trained on him as she did, not wanting to miss his face when he came inside of her.

His hips stuttered, release unloading inside of her in ropes that left him cursing like a sailor. Hair wet and sweaty, sticking to his forehead, and irises blown out, he looked beautiful. She held him close until his body settled, shaking as he came down from his high, forehead resting on the swell of her breasts.

Slowly, he rolled off of her, tugging her body into his so she wasn’t on the cold concrete anymore. He was fiery hot and it kept her warm in the cold air. “Can we never use a rubber again?” He asked softly, and she giggled, hiding her face in his neck.

“Don’t see any reason to,” she replied and he hummed with joy. Tucking her hands under her chin, she looked at him with a smile. “Congrats on your album, baby.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear tenderly. “I’m so happy I shared today with you.” She kissed him softly and let him hold her close, not wanting to move even to go to bed because it meant leaving his grasp. And as much as her head told her that it wasn’t forever, she couldn’t help but hope it would be.

It had been four days since Harry had texted her. Five since he called her. Six since they FaceTimed.

He was in London for the press junket for Dunkirk and Y/N was supposed to fly out for the July 13th premiere—it was decided a month ago, the tickets booked and her time off from work already approved. But as the days stretched on and the silence grew longer, she couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong. If she had done something wrong.

It wasn’t the first time he had been away from LA. They had a conversation about how they were going to handle distance when he travelled back in April, before the album came out and he had to fly around and do press for two weeks. That time, though, he handled it well—he called every night before she went to bed if he could, if not, he sent a long voice memo that she listened to when she woke up. They texted all day, him sending photos from dressing rooms and backstage at talk shows, even FaceTiming her so she could meet the stars he shared the nights with.

But this time was different. Since he left he had texted her just a handful of times and it was when he was at his mom’s house visiting home before press started. And then once press kicked into gear, he was gone, her texts ignored, calls not returned. She was trying not to seem desperate, but with the more time that passed the more anxious she got. It wasn’t how this was supposed to go, this wasn’t what they’d agreed on. He knew her fears, the dark thoughts that crowded in when she spent too much time worrying about their relationship, and yet he wasn’t taking the actions that helped her calm down. Even though she knew it wasn’t his responsibility to take care of her brain, it helped to know he thought about her, at the very least.

The morning before her flight was supposed to leave, she called Hanna in a panic. Her suitcases laid open on her bed, clothes scattered around her, tears streaming down her face. She had tried to call Harry again to confirm her arrival plans, only to be met with his voicemail, again.

Hi, you’ve reached Harry. I’ll give you a call back when I can!

Somehow, the sound of his voice made it worse.

“Han,” she choked out when her friend picked up, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Did he not answer?” Hanna had been counseling her through the whole thing, helping her stay calm and sane, as much as possible at least. From Y/N’s lack of response, just more sobs, Hanna knew immediately. “That prick.”

Y/N wiped a tear from her eye and looked at the ticket in her hand. Harry had forced her to accept his offer of first-class, booking her flight through his agent and everything. “Does he even want me there? Should I not go?”

Hanna was quiet, thoughts rolling through her head. “No,” she finally said. “You should go. Even if it’s just to talk to him in person. You deserve to hear it face-to-face, not by him ghosting you.”

“Even if that means I end up in London and he breaks up with me?”

“Yes,” Hanna replied softly. “But I really, really hope that is not what’s happening.”

At first it had been that he was busy, that he would text when he had time, but it had been six days. Now, both Y/N and Hanna were increasingly worried that it meant the end of their relationship and Y/N was simply not ready for that possibility. She had let Harry in—he had begged her to let him in—and he was going to end things like this? When things got hard with the distance he just…cut her out? “Can you take me to the airport?” Y/N asked, sniffling. “If you don’t I don’t think I’ll be able to force myself to go.”

“Was already planning on it,” Hanna replied. “I’ll bring snacks for the flight.”

“Love you,” Y/N told her. Hanna was her one constant, who knew Y/N better than she knew herself.

“Love you more. Now go finish packing and call me if you need me, okay?”

Y/N told her okay and hung up, her gaze shifting to her suitcase. If he was going to break up with her, then she was going to look so magnificent he would regret every second of it.

Eleven hours in the air meant plenty of time to run over her entire relationship with Harry. She had sat curled up in her seat scrolling through her camera roll and listening to Bon Iver, which was the sappiest thing possible and she didn’t care. Y/N didn’t want to break up with him and the photos and the texts and the memories proved it. Her time with Harry had been so beautifully bright, his presence in her life making so much better, from her confidence to her knowledge to her music taste. And she cared about him in a way she hadn’t let herself do—ever.

She had texted Jeff before she took off, telling him she couldn’t get a hold of Harry and asking where she should go when she landed. He replied with Harry’s Hampstead address and the door code, saying there was a key waiting for her, hidden in the garden, an apology on Harry’s behalf for how busy he had been. The words meant nothing, though, to Y/N. If Harry wanted to apologize he would have to do it in person, not through Jeff.

It was eleven by the time her Uber pulled up to Harry’s house and she thanked the driver as he tugged her luggage from the boot. She waited until he pulled away before she typed in the gate code, not wanting to reveal Harry’s security to anyone—she have been mad at him, but she still didn’t want anything happening to him. The door unlocked for her and she slid inside, shutting it quickly behind her. Pulling her suitcase behind her, she walked up the path, searching for the garden statue Jeff had told her the key was hiding under. When she found it, her fingers ran across the ridges as she made her way to the front door.

His house in LA was warm, it was the Harry she knew. But this house felt colder, the design modern, his personal affects not as visible. Although to his credit, he hadn’t been here for more than a few days in months. A few photos of Anne and Gemma were scattered through the front hall, some framed photos of his time in One Direction nestled between them.

“Harry?” She knew he wasn’t there, but the idea of walking into his house without checking felt too uncomfortable for her. She locked the door tightly behind her, typing in the security code Jeff had sent before re-arming it.

Y/N took her time exploring his house. She perused the main spaces, testing out the couches and peeking at his bookcases, studying the art lining the walls. Then she made her way upstairs to the bedrooms, running her fingers along the edges of his One Direction album plaques that lined the walls of his office, the ones from his debut still resting on the floor waiting to be hung. She found the guest bedrooms with ease and she spent a good five minutes standing on the landing deciding if she should go into his bedroom or set herself up in a guest one.

She settled on a guest bedroom. If he was going to break things off, she didn’t want to know what his bed felt like or smell his clothes or take a shower in his bathroom.

Instead, she showered in the guest bath, washing off the plane smell that lingered on her body. She dressed in shorts and a tank top, letting her hair air dry since she would have to just re-style it for the premiere later. Jeff hadn’t told her what time Harry would be back and she was ravenous, so she wandered downstairs to fix herself some lunch. To fill the silence in the house she turned on The 1975, playing the music from her laptop she had open on the counter as she cooked some pasta she had found in the cabinet. As she ate at his dining table, she tried not to think about the fact that this could be the last time she was in a space of Harry’s. The last time she sat on things he had picked out, the last time she rooted through his fridge, past his obnoxious green juices and leftovers since he hated eating out if he didn’t have to. Her fingers brushed at her eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks.

Reaching down for her fork to take another bite, she suddenly heard the lock click in the front door and the security system begin to beep.

He was home.

She slid her bowl away from her and turned to look at the doorway, waiting to see his face for the first time in over a week. And when he appeared, she couldn’t the return the stretched across his face at the sight of her in his house. He looked the same and somehow that was worse. In a nice shirt from interviews this morning, his hair slightly tossed from running his fingers through it, the sheen on his upper lip from the heat outside. He looked like her Harry, but she didn’t know if he was hers anymore.

“Y/N!” His voice rebounded off the walls, filling her heart with a kind of hope that was crushing.

“Hi,” was all she could muster before looking back down at her pasta. An anger rose in her, replacing the hurt that had lingered for so many days. How could he pretend like everything was okay? How could he smile at her like he hadn’t been ignoring her for days, too busy to even check and see how her flight was?

His footsteps were heavy on the hardwood floors as he made his way over to her. “Baby? What is it?”

“Do you want to break up?” She asked, her question hard compared to his kind, gentle, tentative tone.

“What?” Harry dropped into the seat caddy-corner to the chair she sat in. “What are you talking about?”

She pushed away her bowl and looked him dead in the eye. “I haven’t heard from you in days, Harry. Days. I flew halfway across the world for you and you couldn’t even manage to check-in to see if I was alive?”

He flinched at her words, eyes dropping to the table they sat at. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, words barely audible above her heart beating a mile a minute, pulsing with anger.

“That’s not going to cut it,” she told him, standing up and taking her bowl to the sink. “You fucking ghosted me like I was a girl you’d just met. We’re about to celebrate six months together. And you know what this shit does to me.”

And he did. She could see in his eyes that he knew he was in the wrong, and yet he was quiet. “I was busy.”

“So was I! But I still found two seconds to text you asking how it was going, I found fifteen minutes before bed to call you, and I kept trying even though you couldn’t even manage to reply to me. You’re not that busy, Harry.”

He stood too, walking over to where she stood in his kitchen so that he was a few paces away from her. “I was in and out of interviews from morning to night and when I wasn’t, I was with the cast who I haven’t seen in almost a year. And when I wasn’t doing that Jeff was harassing me about tour details or I was sleeping. I’m sorry if my schedule didn’t allow me to talk to you at every second of the day, Y/N, but this is a huge moment for me and I had to focus on that.” His words were measured, but she could feel the tension rising between them, words unsaid bubbling over.

“And your career is more important than our relationship.” She nodded sarcastically, wiping her wet palms on the dish towel and turning to face him. “Got it, heard loud and clear.”

“Fuck—you know it’s not!” His hand ran through his locks and down his face, struggling to get a handle on his breathing.

“Harry,” she said, trying not to yell, “I’m not going to force you to stay in a relationship that you don’t want to put the time in for. But you know exactly what I need from you—I have been very clear. You know my fears and my insecurities, and you know what triggers them. We had a plan for how to deal with this, and you completely disregarded it!” Her voice rose at the end, the fact that he couldn’t even meet her eyes pushing all of her buttons. “Fucking look at me when I talk to you!”

His eyes met hers and she didn’t see the Harry she knew, the Harry who cared for her, the soft, gentle man. Instead, she saw someone who was pissed off and hurt and grasping at straws. “I can’t dance around your fears every moment of the day,” he said, voice spitting anger. “And I’m sorry if that breaks one of your rules,” the word hitting her in the face, “but you’re going to have to get over it because I can’t spend every second of the day wondering if something I did or said has made you think I don’t care about you! You should know that I don’t want to hurt you, that of course I want to be with you!”

“Well, how am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me!” His words stabbed her right where it hurt, hitting her fears right in the heart.

Harry turned, his body facing the counter, fingers gripping the edge of the marble. He sucked in breath after breath trying to calm himself down and Y/N tried to find it within herself to have sympathy for him, but she just…couldn’t. She was so pissed off at him she couldn’t think straight.

“I’m not some girl waiting around for Harry Styles to come home, begging him to never leave me,” Y/N said. She was done. She was done with this fight, with him expecting her to be someone she wasn’t. “I’m me and I’m waiting for Harry, the person I care for so deeply it hurts—you are held to the same standards as every other guy, no matter how busy your schedule is. I should not be expected to fit into your schedule all the time. It goes both ways and you operated this week as if it was entirely my job to stay in touch with you. And I am not going to stay in a relationship like that.”

Harry’s head whipped to hers, eyes boring straight into her. “Are you saying you want to break up?”

Y/N tried to keep her head high, tried to hold back the tears. “If you’re going to do this when you’re on tour, I’m done. You know what I want—it’s the same thing I wanted from this relationship the moment I met you. You’re the only one who seems to think things have changed.” And with that, she stormed out of the room, which was probably petty but she didn’t care. She was so mad at him for his actions and his words that she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him.

Harry didn’t follow her.

At 1 o’clock, a knock came on her door.

“If you still want to come, we have to leave for the premiere in an hour. It’s up to you.” And with that, he walked away, not even waiting for her to open the door.

She sat on the bed, considering her options. Did she go and support him anyway, pretend everything was fine? Or did she stay here—or maybe find a hotel—and leave him alone for the premiere?

He had told her how nervous he was about this. This was his first time on a movie red carpet as an actor and he was freaking out about it before he left, a ball of anxiety that she had to carefully untangle. The thought of him being up there alone pained her, despite how his hurtful words lingered in her head. That she had to get over it as if it was that simple.

The red dress she had bought for the premiere hung in the bathroom where she had left it while she showered so the wrinkles would leave the fabric. It was beautiful—a tiered taffeta skirt that cinched in at the waist, a caged bodice showing off her shoulders. When she had tried it on she had felt beautiful, powerful, as if she could take on anything and everything. She had spent a ton of money on the dress and she didn’t want to waste it.

So she got up, turning on BANKS and set about her hair and makeup in the bathroom, praising Hanna for teaching her how to do her makeup in college. She painted her lips red, in the shade that she adored wearing, and twisted up her hair into a chignon that emphasized her neck. Running her fingers along the skin she remembered when Harry had kissed it, but the love bite he had left behind was long healed. Was she asking too much of him? She wondered as she looked at herself in the mirror. Was he right, were her fears stifling him?

Then she remembered what Hanna had told her. That he wasn’t anyone different from other guys she had dated, and what she was asking from him wasn’t out of left field. Any guy she would date she would except to check in with her when he was traveling and Harry was no different, no matter what his job was.

Harry was waiting downstairs for her, probably having heard her rummaging around in the closet. When he heard her heels on the stairs, he looked up and his eyesight on her skin burned because he looked gorgeous. Maybe this was a horrible idea, she thought as she made her way towards him. She would have to touch him all night, look at him in his tailored suit, gaze into his green eyes as they were photographed on the red carpet.

“You look beautiful,” he said, words gravelly in his throat.

She stopped a few paces away from him. “Thanks.”

He fiddled with his keys, the silence stretching between them. “Thank you for coming with me. I know you have no reason to, but having you there…It means a lot.”

Instead of replying, because she didn’t have words for him, she just nodded. Because she did have a reason—even though she was mad at him, she still cared for him. Despite not wanting to, she still craved him giving her a kiss on the cheek as they walked out the door.

The drive to the red carpet was quiet, the radio playing softly in the background the only sound. They sat on either side of the backseat, Y/N staring out the window while Harry fiddled with his phone. She hadn’t been to London since she was 18 for her graduation present from her mom, and the city held warm memories for her. She wondered if that would change after today.

When they pulled up, an anxiety Y/N didn’t know she was holding started building, the sight of the photographers and the screams from the fans barricaded in. With all that had been happening, she had somehow forgotten what going to the premiere meant for her. Her eyes fell to Harry who was staring at her, trying to gauge her reaction. She had never done this before and he knew that.

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” he said, trying to calm her fears. “Promise.” It helped. At least she wouldn’t be completely alone. “Ready?” He stretched out a hand to her and she took it, letting him help her from the car.

The second her feet hit the pavement, the screams got louder. Fans with signs and their phones outstretched on either side of the wide red carpet, the word DUNKIRK in large white letters closest to the entrance to the theater. Harry’s hand gripped her as she stood, thankful for his body to help her keep balanced.

“Just smile as best you can,” he whispered in her ear as the car pulled away behind them. “And if your eyes start hurting from the flashes, just look at me, okay?”

Y/N nodded, and with his hand in hers, fingers entertained, they made their way down the carpet. He stopped a few times to take photos with fans and sign cards, but all that time he never strayed too far from Y/N’s side. With his arm securely wrapped around her waist, they stood for photos, Y/N trying to stand up as straight as she could and smile sweetly. Harry was a pro at this, a smile practiced for years, but she didn’t have the same experience. She was just a regular person who didn’t know which side was her bad side and had her eyes closed in half her photos.

The cameramen screamed questions at them, about their relationship, if they were married. They’d never quite publicly announced their relationship, Harry preferring to keep his private life private, so this was the first time they’d ever even publicly been out as a couple. And for it to be like this…Y/N hated it. She wanted to stand there and be utterly infatuated with Harry like she usually was, but this time her spine was rimrod straight, trying to keep her emotions in check. It was awkward, the way he tentatively touched her body, not wanting to overstep but also wanting to present the aura of normalcy.

Then they took a few steps and rotated to another set of cameras and Y/N understood what Harry had meant about her eyes hurting from the flashes. She turned her head to him and he found her eyes, giving her a wide smile meant just for her. Without thinking about it, her hand pressed to his suit right over his heart, the soft material of his suit jacket butter under her fingers. Then, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, softly and sweetly and to most it wouldn’t have meant much. But to Y/N, it was the first time he had kissed her since she’d seen him. And the feeling of his lips on her skin lingered, a tingle moving through her body. Her hand gripped his back a little tighter and he just kept smiling at her, utterly entranced by her eyes.

Their bodies had betrayed them. To anyone who looked, they would have seen perfectly fine, not that they had been fighting only two hours ago. But they knew the reality, and this moment, their bodies close together and emotions running through them without being able to stop it, it made it clear that neither of them wanted to break up. They would just have to find a way to move through it.

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crimeshowtrash · 4 years

Text

Second Chances

Chapter 3

Warnings: none

Words: 1.5k

Updates: every Tuesday

A/N: I have some blurbs about Hotch and Maya’s first impressions of the other. They’re going to be posted soon! Also yay for me bc I don’t have COVID! But I did catch a bug from one of the kids at work so that’s why this chapter is up later than normal.

Find out what happened in Chapter 2

“Knock Knock”, said Maya before entering Hotch’s office.

“Good morning Bose, what can I do for you?”, asked Hotch.

“You can accept these cookies and come over for dinner this weekend as an apology for my daughter's behavior”, said Maya.

“You don’t need to do that. Kids will be kids”, replied Hotch.

“I know, but Mira is a whole different breed this most”, said Maya.

“She’ll turn out great. Just look at who she has to look up to”, responded Aaron.

“Who? A deadbeat dad, a single mom who’s barely keeping it together, and grandparents who outwardly hate her mom. She won family of the year”, huffed out Maya.

Aaron’s eyes softened, looking at Maya with a warmheartedly.

“Enough about me. We insist! And bring Jack. They’ll have loads of fun”, said Maya placing a fresh cup of coffee and the chocolate chip cookies that had been baked the night before.

“We’ll come but only if we can bring dessert”, replied Aaron.

“Sounds like a plan. Saturday at 7:30 work for you?”, asked Maya.

“Sounds good. And thank you for the cookies”, said Hotch.

“No problem Hotch! And before I leave, any allergies or deep dislikes I need to know about?”, asked Maya.

“Nope, Any requests for dessert?”, questioned Aaron.

“How about ice cream? You can’t go wrong there”, said Maya.

Hotch smiled and said “got it” before Maya left the room.

***

Maya rushed around the townhouse, getting ready for the Hotchners who should be arriving any second now. The smell of freshly baked bread permeated throughout. The autumnal candles burning, and Mira watching Dragon Tales filled the small home the two had made for themselves.

The doorbell rang, Maya took off her apron and quickly inspected her white sweater for any food stains before heading downstairs to get the door. “Come on in you two. It’s pretty chilly outside for early November”, said Maya, ushering the two in.

Aaron and Jack walked into the foyer, the nervous smile on Jack’s face melted her heart.

“And you must be the famous Jack Hotcher I’ve heard so much about”, said Maya crouching down to the small child tightly gripping his father's hand.

Jack nodded and said, “yes Ma’am”.

Smiling at the adorable kid Maya said, “you don’t need to call me Ma’am, just Maya will do. How about I show you to the living room where Mira is playing with Legos and watching tv?”.

Jack nodded his head eagerly before pausing to look up at his father.

“Go! You don’t need to ask me for permission here”, said Hotch with a nod of his head.

Jack ran up the stairs, heading for the television.

“You sure do make cute kids Hotch”, said Maya before blushing as she realized what she said.

“I mean...uhm. I didn’t mean that”, stuttered out Maya.

A blushing Hotch said, “don’t worry about it”.

After a very hearty meal of seafood bisque (with a tomato and basil option for the kids), freshly baked bread, and salad, the group made their way to the sofa.

“Ma, can we play Candyland?”, asked Mira.

“What do you say Jack, you wanna play Candyland?”, asked Maya looking towards the younger of the Hotchner men.

“Yes please!”, piped out the young boy.

“Okay, you all set it up while I go get dessert”, said Maya.

“Do you need any help?”, asked Aaron.

“Sure, let the kids set up the game. You can help me with the coffee.”, replied Maya.

The two walked into the kitchen where Maya took out the coffee mugs.

“Here you go. I’ll go get the ice cream for the kids” said Maya, handing Hotch the mugs.

“Thanks, and what water do you normally use?”, questioned Hotch.

“Filtered please!”, responded Maya, pointing to the Brita by the sink.

Hotch set to making the coffee as Maya waited for the ice cream to thaw and become more scoopable.

“So how have you been liking being on the team”, asked Hotch.

“In all honesty, It’s been an adjustment. Working with people who have created their own family while being an outsider is difficult. And not only that but you all are the most perceptive group of people I have ever worked with”, sighed out Maya.

Hotch’s face held a look of understanding.

“I remember what it was like when I first got here. I know it can be tough, especially for people who like keeping some semblance of privacy”, said Aaron.

“Exactly. I love being a part of the team. It’s been what I’ve wanted for years. But you all tell eachother everything. And while I am open with certain parts of my life, there are other parts of me that nobody outside of like 4 people know”, replied Maya fiddling with the ice cream scoop.

“They’re nosy. I’ll give you that. But they’re just trying to help. All the team wants is for everyone to feel like they can be open and talk about their life and any problems they may have”, said Aaron.

“I guess it’s just a personal thing. I never really had anyone these past 10 years or so that I felt I could truly confide in so I don’t feel comfortable opening up to people anymore. But I mean that’s how abusers want you to feel, right? That you’re all alone so that you don’t ever leave”.

A sorrow look appeared on Aaron’s face as he reached his hand out to hold Maya’s.

“Maya, if you ever need anything you know you can come to us, right?”

Maya’s heart fluttered as she said, “I know Hotch, but honestly he’s the reason Mira is in my life. So he did something good, right??”.

“Absolutely, Mira might be a handful just like her mother but we wouldn’t trade you for the world, just like you wouldn’t trade her”, said Aaron truthfully.

Maya smiled, a twinkle in her eye, as the oven beeped.

She opened the oven, the warmth of both the oven and smell of cinnamon permeated.

“Maya, we were in charge of dessert. What did you do?”, asked Hotch as he poured the prepared coffee into the 2 mugs.

“Calm down Hotch. Nothing goes better with ice cream than freshly baked apple pie”, said Maya with a smile.

“You keep feeding us like this and Jack will never want to leave”, replied Hotch.

“And what about you?”, asked Maya.

“What about me?”, questioned Hotch.

“Don’t play dumb with me Agent, it’s not very becoming. Would you want to leave?”, reiterated Maya.

Looking at Maya intently with his smoldering eyes, Hotch said, “No, I wouldn’t want to leave either”, before taking the cups of coffee to the living room.

As he walked away, Maya couldn’t help but notice his back muscles rippling underneath his sweater as he took each step.

“Get yourself under control. His wife died mere months ago”, muttered Maya before she brought the dessert out to everyone.

As the two Hotchner's left for the evening after a riveting game of Candyland, Maya couldn’t help but wonder whether her and Hotch’s flirty banter was just that or whether they meant he held actual feelings for her.

***

Maya was filling up yet another cup of coffee before she went back to her desk to finish up her last report from the case when Hotch walked in.

“Jack has been talking about how cool Maya is recently”, said Hotch.

“Well, I am cool. So you’ve got a smart kid there”, said Maya smiling as she took a sip.

“We want to have you over and return the favor. And the kids get along great. So come on over this Saturday”, replied Hotch.

“Will do, want me to bring anything?”, asked Maya.

“Just yourself and Mira. After last time, I don’t trust you”, said Hotch.

“You do realize that I’ll bring something anyways”, said Maya with a grin.

Hotch smiled as he shook his head and headed back to his office.

***

“So what’s this Saturday?”, asked Emily.

“I don’t know, your neighbor's dog's baptism?”, asked Maya.

JJ snorted and Penelope was so very glad she had waited before taking a sip of her hot tea.

“No it’s your second date with Hotch!”, exclaimed Emily.

“No it’s not! We’re not dating!”, replied Maya loudly.

“But you want to be”, said Em.

Scoffing, Maya rolled her eyes.

“Wait, so what’s happening here?”, asked a confused Penny.

“Notching. I invited Jack and Hotch over as an apology dinner for the diarrheahead fiasco. And Jack and Mira seem to get along well so we’re having dinner at their place on Saturday”, replied Maya.

“And you’re not attracted to the man at all?”, questioned JJ.

“No! Absolutely not! And Hayley just died, what kind of monster do you take me for?”, asked Maya.

“It’s almost been a year Maya”, said JJ at the same time as Emily said, “a monster with eyes”.

“Okay, he might be nice to look at, but I am not into him at all”, stated Maya firmly.

“I don’t know about you guys but, methinks the lady doth protest too much”, said Penelope.

Taglist: @kathleenjasmine @mickeysmentalhealth

#Criminal Minds #aaron hotchner x oc #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner fanfiction #bau #bau imagine #bau oneshot #bau fanfic #bau x oc #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds one shot #criminal minds x oc #criminal minds fic #bau fic #poc reader #poc fic

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rockybalfeatherboa · 6 years

Text

getting these mtl headcanons outta my system

This is a long ass post but these r some random metalocalypse hcs that I feel kinda strongly abt some r real silly ok here it goes

Aka me projecting

Toki - Enjoys activities like roller skating, weight lifting and boxing (that’s why he’s yknow fucken ripped) - Also enjoys model cars but not nearly as much as his beloved fighter planes - Thick brows - Hair is very thick and smooth (and,,pretty) but he doesn’t put a lot of work into is making the other guys kinda jealous - Sometimes shaves his legs below the knee but that’s it - Does shit like host teen choice awards and guest star on children’s tv shows BUT THEN acts surprised when kids love him,,,tf bitch this is ur fault - Absolutely loves physical affection he fuckin loves hugs and kisses!!!! - Prefers making out and titty groping groupies (and maybe a blowjob) over having sex with them .. but will still do it if he feels like he’s up to it - Kisses with his eyes open (and overall just real fuckin weird ok) - Keeps the video from Juliette sarmangsadandle in his nightstand he treasures it - Mostly writes his own keyboard parts for songs - Band thinks he’s hilarious when he doesn’t try to be but when he tries to tell jokes they don’t work ,, but he’s really funny in Norwegian it’s just the jokes don’t really translate too well so he just,,keeps it to himself - Pickles taught him how to smoke and now they like to chill and smoke together it’s like “their thing” - But he’s really picky about it he only smokes indica - (This is me projecting) Learned the phrase “if u feelin froggy then jump” and never stopped using it

Skwisgaar - shaves e v e r y t h i n g bc of 1) the aesthetics and 2) loves the way it feels - long lovely legs - huge fucken feet - has a klokateer pluck and tweeze his eyebrows them shits be on fleek - cries in secret at least once a day it’s become routine - He kept in touch with his Swedish gf for a while but then fell off and went back to hoeing #hoe4lyfe - Secretly wishes he can go back to wearing all white but he has to maintain brand recognition bc of the band - Wears very slight sweet smelling cologne behind his ears and wherever else cologne goes - Either eats a fuckton or not very much during the day,, keeping his metabolism on her toes - Guitar playing for him is like ultimate stress relief and also he fidgets with it he loves that thing - Has a book of various songs or riffs that he’s written on the guitar that dethklok will never ever use - Wears highlighter - Has run into one of his grown ass children in the bank one time and had to get the fuck out of there immediately,,they didn’t realize it was him tho - Puts his feet on nathan just to bother him - Great teeth / really conscientious about hygiene - Cold hands and oily skin type - He has a pretty good sense of rhythm but ,, he can’t dance he can’t dance for shit oh my god it’s a disaster to look at - “I look like I can’t cook… that’s accurate” - When he drinks wine he does that thing where he swirls it around like a bougie piece of shit - Lactose intolerant :/ - Talks with his hands a l o t it’s over dramatized and very fascinating to watch - Responds to compliments with “I know”

Murderface - closet gay* *gay but he grew up in such a homophobic environment so he tries to ignore it and pretty much force himself to be straight, explaining his constant trouble with women (Bc the attraction isn’t genuine ) and his fragile masculinity (so he’s always a “fellas is it gay to-“ or a “no homo” type of guy ),, his self esteem issues don’t help this out at all - big fuckin crush on skwisgaar (and skwis loves the attention) - sleeps with a retainer - hair is so dry,,,,,,please give this man some conditioner oh my god - knows pretty much everything about the civil war and the American revolution literally ask him anything he’s like a textbook - Somebody come get this man a pedicure - He has a lot of fans and they adore him it’s just that he’s oblivious to it,,, ppl love murderface!! - He’s not as ugly as he thinks he is or that people make him out to be, it’s just that people may think that only Bc the rest of Dethklok is so pretty. He kinda just ends up looking the worst by four-way comparison. It’s just a different type of look he has there’s nothing really wrong with his appearance - Imma go head and say it,,,he uses “y’all” - He and toki have actually made some decent songs for planet piss but it’s usually when they’re jamming out so they pretty much never get recorded 🤷🏽‍♀️ or remembered - He can move his dick voluntarily I mean I already knew that people with dicks can do this but murderface has like a whole new level of control with his - Got banned from Fintrolls bc he pissed in the olives but he just keeps coming back bc what are they gonna do? nothing - He takes his weapon/torture device collection very seriously like when u walk into his room u better not touch a damn thing or so help me -

Pickles - has nose piercings but doesn’t wear em - Small ear gauges - Strong toned legs especially shins and calves - Has not had a swig of h20 in 6 years but somehow has nice skin (a mystery) - Loathes Seth but absolutely a d o r e s the baby!!! He loves that damn baby and always appreciates when Seth or amber send pics or FaceTime call !! Fuckin uncle pickles!! - Helps toki compose his keyboard parts for songs (Bc he too can play the piano) - Kinda flexible but not as he used to be,,he used to be able to do a full split - Likes to bug Charles a lot bc they’re the closest in age , sometimes they hang they’re good buds - Watches shitty reality tv (bad girls club, LHHATL (it has to Atlanta), etc) as a guilty pleasure - Kind of an asshole but in a way that leaves u wanting more - Played basketball freshman year of highschool,, he was ass at it lmao - Idk how much this has to do with being a headcanon but if pickles was a vine he’d be “I said whoever threw that paper, ya moms a hoe” he just carries that energy - Smells like a light combination of weed and cologne it’s really nice - Will tell one of his band mates to go blow their nose if they’re sniffling too much

Nathan - doesn’t like it when people touch his hair without asking but HOWEVER if u ask before u do he’d probably say yes ,, just gotta warn him first damn - Hates hates h a t e s feet it’s like a weird squirmy phobia. He’s ok with his own feet and just *seeing* other peoples feet but let someone’s bare foot touch him and he’d probably black out tbh - Really socially awkward outside of his stage presence but I think we all knew this - Nathan’s really sweet he just ,, u gotta know him - Really emotional when he’s drunk - Secretly cussing out everyone in his head - He doesn’t completely dislike physical affection but he’s not crazy about it either - Also kisses with his eyes open (but unlike toki he’s trying to work on it) - Dad bod but we all knew this too - Slightly introverted ..he likes to party and shit but can only take that much social interaction for so long then it’s time for him to go home - Eyes are so striking and pretty oh my god it’s like they’re shining it’s all his gfs favorite thing about him - ,,,,,,,thicc - He’s one of those people that rip off their hangnails instead of cutting them 😖 - He can throw down on the grill goddamn why isn’t he in charge of snacks? - Knows how to suture a wound with some level of proficiency - He loves his parents he just hates how they embarrass the fuck out of him god leave me alone mom and dad! - This is ironic to the last thing but remember that video where it was like “son let me hear some of your music” “I don’t think you’d like it” “c’mon let me listen” and the song is just “I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad” the whole time yea that was Nathan in high school - Strong arms (b,,beautiful) - As a kid he used to poke at roadkill for uhh entertainment - Used to be self conscious about his reading glasses but doesn’t gaf anymore - Severe case of resting bitch face he’ll literally be chillin but his face will be mean muggin but that’s just the way he looks - Tried PCP and ended up having to be chained to his bed betcha he’ll never smoke that shit again - likes crime investigation shows and serial killer documentaries - Will n e v e r refuse a fresh hot salted pretzel

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #toki wartooth #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #headcanons #long post

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19bubba78 · 3 years

Text

GOP Ranking Members Demand Pelosi Explain Why She Refuses to Turn Over Documents on US Capitol Security and Why She Delayed National Guard Response for One Hour During Siege

@NevadaElJefe follows back!

I'll tell you why Dirty Nancy "Delayed" calling the National Guard! Nancy and the Democrats started that Antifa Riot, and she "Delayed" because she was trying to sucker Patriots into the fray! All in an attempt to blame President Trump, and divert attention from the subject of the day - the Democrats' Fraudulent Stealing of the 2020 Presidential Election! Trump Won!

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/02/gop-ranking-members-send-letter-pelosi-refused-protect-us-capitol-jan-6-delayed-national-guard-response-one-hour-siege/

621 likes91 comments436 reposts

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Lee Lowell<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Is Nancy the only person in Washington with info on Capital Security??

Gundylady<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> You got some 'splainin' to do, Nancy.

Jimbohsliice<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Because she’s a traitor.

Wyatt<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Absolutely. I agree entirely

Carol Poches<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>, She needs to be put in jail.

Jessiebush<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She needs to be locked up!

Kalayaan<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Why will Patriots disrupt a proceeding that can help expose all the fraud schemes of the Democrats??? Wouldn’t we rather see everything play out??? The Democrats seem to have made a pact with the devil! The devil is their leader!!!!

Xarver Bea Kris<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> agree. There should be an investigation.... just like they do with conservatives

MagaPatriotRN<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> yep! It has her written all over it. Plus the hurry up to Impeach once her laptop went missing. She really thinks we don't see through her.

Luckymee2<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Thank you for seeing the truth and letting us know.

Crusty_55<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She is not going to answer. The GOP members won't push either.

WOO<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She just needs some time to doctor them.

Celestia Vargas<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Why cant they just DEMAND She hands them over, and if She doesnt, Maybe shes the one to be impeached? Since impeachment is soooo normal nowadays

ChupieChiChi<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Arrest her already!!!

Dostacos4u<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> distraction from the election fraud

senior_director<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I believe it, all a set up by Nazi Nancy

BommyC.<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> But she’s thinking of a 9/11 commission to determine what happen. 🤣😂 she needs to go!!!!!

R.Daneel.Olivaw<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> That's not a complete reasoning. The more important aspect of this delay and attempt to get patriots to engage in illicit behaviors is so that they can then label them in the "Terrorist" category. This opens many doors for them to abuse every last American. Many doors. When they open mine, I'll shoot. I may well shoot when they open my neighbor's door too. Care to join me?

CountryYall<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>

PopyPanayotou<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I posted the exact thing on Twitter and got suspended!😆

jg255025503<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Hang her

EdwardBernays10101<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> They are just creating more crimes to delay. I want the Obama dirt from 4 years ago. Then work through all the crimes that occurred after, that they have created.Fuck this nothing burger

grmpasteve<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Nasty Pelosi.

StarKittys1Mom<a href="https://gab.com/grmpasteve" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@grmpasteve</a> <a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I call her Nasty Peelousy

Deb Silcox<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She may have a stroke with everything backfiring on her! They are all going down fighting as hard as they can - sorta like Kamikaze pilots! but missing their targets!

Lady_Victorias😆 <a href="https://gab.com/DGHS" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@DGHS</a> <a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>

Sherry M<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Why is she wearing panties on her face?

Jill Vaughn<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> The Win is still coming!

Ditch_Mitch<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> <a href="/tags/abcnews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#abcnews</a> <a href="/tags/cbsnews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#cbsnews</a> <a href="/tags/foxnews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#foxnews</a> <a href="/tags/msnbc" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#msnbc</a> <a href="/tags/nbcnews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#nbcnews</a> <a href="/tags/pbsnewshour" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#pbsnewshour</a> <a href="/tags/nyt" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#nyt</a> <a href="/tags/washingtonpost" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#washingtonpost</a> <a href="/tags/cnn" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#cnn</a> Thoughts???

PetulantPeasant<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I bet Mitch had a hand in planning the "attack", too.

CLRThinking2020<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I’ve come to the same conclusion too.

GeneralPatton<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> That is funny, she's not gonna tell them shit. She will delay because her head is not quite on the chopping block yet. GOP demands... that is even funnier, A demand from any GOP politician holds as much weight as a ping pong ball.

MarsNAO<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> this seems like a plausible theory of what really happened. Anyone want to start laying wagers on which of the swamp creatures starts trembling on TV first?

John L Brown<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Pelosi must have studied 1st century Roman emperors. She acts just like them. If the Democrats had as much sense as the ancient Roman Senate, she's be gone by now ... or dead.

Ascension Magnet<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Keep your boobs off my eyes, Nancy. ty, the mgmt

TheDeplorableSoldier<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> That is likely why she was sooo very worried about her laptop...

McMike27<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She’s not that smart. Smells like Hoyer.

Storm Riders<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> same ol' same ol' Luciferian symbolism on on pee pee pants Pelosi's neck line here...

Jack Kodiak<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Yes, this is what happens when braindead sheeple, the coward RINO party, the ChiCom-puppet Democrat party and the big tech eunuchs nurture cancer that is pretending to be human. I won't put any money on the frightened RINOs doing anything about it. They're batting a thousand in the world series of worthless idiots.

Dgrewe<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> that's exactly what she did, and mitch and the rest were in on it, that building is full of thieves and villains

filewis<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Sounds right.

Linnyw1<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Pelosi was in on it! So was Bower! McConnell, Schumer, they all knew!

merrylinda<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> you are so right, she planned it all and she needs to be arrested for colluding with her goons to attack the capitol and for the murder of Ashli

Elryza<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>

Lillblondee<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Shes what I know as a dirty c***. Learned from her daddy 🤔

Lone Stubblejumper<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Nancy is one wicked woman...

Linnyw1<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Spot on! I believe this too! This is why the House could not call witnesses and why Pelosi was as pissed as she was, bc she is SO devious!

Ava<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Put pressure on her. Do not back down

SuzyQpatriot<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Nasty bitch!

Martha Lou<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She needs to be brought up on all the false charges she has presented against President Trump. She slandered him for four years to cover up democrats’ crimes. It’s her turn to face the jury.

Dave Fowler<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Now that's the truth!!!!!

Dale Redcay<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>

Choice America<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>

Foxiediva70<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I'm glad that I'm not the only person who believes that she was TOTALLY involved in the planning of the INSURRECTION! When our President's lawyers threatened to call her as a witness the House Managers quickly did an about face because she would have to answer some really tough questions that would have caused HER TO BE IMPEACHED!

Tac10<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Amen!! Biden is not the legal president! This election was a complete fraud! More and more evidence is pouring in! Soon it will be undeniable that this was an illegal election and a coup!! States all RED states need to engage and start their own investigations!! The American citizens deserve justice! The constitution deserves defending!! One man one vote!!

AdvQcateQ1960<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> 3.5 hours

Faithoverfear307<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> 🖕🖕🖕

maighread1364<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Pelosi will do anything she thinks that would work for her advantage. It seems more and more like a set up. They knew Trump was having a rally, and none of his rallies are not small, so all anti Trump forces were out to make trouble. Would not surprise me if others than Pelosi knew something may happen. Too much did happen.

Deedee2558<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> No doubt about it

NoisyAcres<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She's a cunt...

Katana55<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Wait, Trump caused it but tried to prevent it? Can he be impeached for trying to prevent something he apparently started? <a href="https://gab.com/commonsensepdx" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@commonsensepdx</a> begs to differ

LuckyURanch<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Exactly!

WiseScribe<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Guantanamo!

Liberty4all<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I loathe this woman. She and her nephew, Newsome, literally don't care that people are crapping and sleeping in tent cities all over CA. These "leaders" have no basis in the reality of hardworking Americans. How does this happen?

Klondikeone<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> yes and she controled the D C police.

Patriot Frost<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I agree

ChiComDestroyer<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She knew there were infiltrators and agitators in the crowd to fire them up She didn't want a force strong enough to stop it After it was over anyone who questioned the election results was demonized and the certification was rushed through that night without a 10 day investigation Sen Cruz wanted Who did the riot help? President Trump OR the swamp and the Chi-Coms!

KatSki<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Yup! That’s exactly what happened. Who had more to gain from stopping the proceedings. Uh huh.

TruthSerumMedia<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Oh, it's showtime! The thing about liars and their lies, is that TRUTH can be proven! Lies can only catch up to the LIARS!

The Cat<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Dirty-Piglosi "hired" riot whore like BLM/Antifa for the riot of 6 Jan. She planned it out together with Cocaine-Mitch & possibly Schumer! Start interrogating Piglosi and her gang of bandits over this! She did it so that he can lay blame on Trump and launch an impeachment!

Bruce D.BudnikLET'S SEE IF THE GOP REALLY MEANS WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ABOUT THE DOCUMENTS. <a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> If the GOP really means Pelosi and her criminal members turn over the US Capitol Documents then they should get on ALL the media outlets, write demands on their websites, STAND ON THE CONGRESS FLOOR AND DEMAND THE RELEASE, and run ads demanding Pelosi turn over the documents immediately.

Paula L 🇺🇸🗽🌻<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> You are exactly right!!

Beanguin<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Only for optics. They’re all in on it

PatriotSkye<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a>, The Speaker of the House, is actually responsible for security at the Capital. Yet, Schiffted Shady Pelosi, definitely made sure that thousands of National Guardsmen, where ordered to D.C. for the fraudulent inauguration!

Cleanitnow<a href="https://gab.com/PatriotSkye" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@PatriotSkye</a> <a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Don't forget her accomplices. Mitch and Chucky.

Jennifer 🙏🕊️⚖️🇺🇸<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Impeach Nancy Pelosi

Trunkletrouser<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Well there's probably enough Dems in her party that would prob be ok using the 14th amendment against her to get her out of their way.

No Libturds Allowed<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She needed time for the photo ops.

LadyFreedomReader<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> PRISON!

Roy L Plummer<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> She will have to circle back on that.

Wildwood59Absolutely 100% right on!!!

Carolyn1776<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Yep!!

RJHardy<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I WISH CALIFORNIA WOULD JUST RECALL OR FIRE THE HAG!

PatriciaVa<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Crook

Outwest<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> You don't even need to stretch to see this one.

1OldKid<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> I hope that someone with enough clout will hold her feet to the fire...

Rick<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> HOLD HER FEET TO THE FIRE AND MAKE HER ANSWER FOR WHAT SHE DID AND WHY SHE DID IT, 75 MILLION OF US WANNA KNOW!

Alintuit333<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Epic fail.

FollowTheMoney<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Wow! The tax payers buy Pelosi really nice outfits!!! This picture is reminiscent of a newly remodeled bathroom in a haunted house.

Curlyred1126<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> This witch belongs to PRISON!!

Ani4real<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> <a href="https://gab.com/Cah217_17" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@Cah217_17</a> Witch Pelosi belongs in prison ... not just any prison.... one to be transformed to operate just like the prisons of her beloved China. No A/C or heat ... right? After six months of no Botox and no hair coloring ....she will be unrecognizable. The prison guards will use her pictures to put on kitchen floor to scare the rats and roaches away.

MaeMorgan<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> it will be news when she is held publicly accountable for her actions surrounding Jan.6, 2021.

Tanner Lynd<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Trump won and the democrats can not stay.

Funnyb<a href="https://gab.com/NevadaElJefe" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@NevadaElJefe</a> Most corrupted woman in our government !

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