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smalltragedy · 3 years

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* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

#irvingintro #violence tw #(more of a brief mention)#bt still #jst reposting bc its been so long JFGDHFDSGSLFKG

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musicdork · 4 years

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hello am SO TIRED, painting took so much outta me. i painted my room all by myself and it took about half the day wowie. but it is DONE and now i just need to decorate💪🏼💪🏼 i saw ur post about only sleeping four hours and EXCUSE ME, U BEST BE HAVING MORE SLEEP THAN THAT U NEED IT FOR NUTRIENTS(that makes sense) also where r my manners i just relized i have YET to send in anything about ur mans josuke??? heres a tik tok that i think u will like. i’m a silly billy 100% so—https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJbM9NGV/ i hope u have seen clone high (or at least the memes u kno)

oh i wanna read stone ocean SO BAD, but also i want to try and attempt to be a good noodle and read all the parts beforehand yknow😖 but when stone ocean anime comes out...u best be knowin..i will Look and Simp all the way.. also v nice about the rewatches!!! diu is genuinely such a feel good part, the most out of all the other parts imo. its upbeat, its colorful, its silly, gah. so good. not 2 mention those bombass ops. UNF the songs r so good. i like how ur rewatching part five :) i think vento aureo is my personal comfort part(despite the tragic events AAAAAA) the visuals and the location and the characters..so beautiful. its physically satisfying for my eyeballs to look at u know?

ohhh man not me listening to the kakyoin playlist before i went to bed last night...not me catching feelings and being IN my feelings while listening to the playlist and desperately wanting to cuddle with him as i fall asleep....n most of the songs in the playlist i knew already i felt so cool dude😎

thats awesome abt college!! and VERY NICE WITH UR DOUBLE MAJOR LIKE UHHHMMMM thats so intense??? crazy. what a smart person. u got it in the bag bro. also its my second yr in college rn, and i aspire to be a professional musician :) but the motivation IS lacking, i dont blame u. esp with covid restrictions making everyone work online and cut off different real life interactions, its fucked and screwing everyone up. no cap. but ANTWAY how was ur day?? i hope it was nice ??!?!! :) did u do anything interesting? even if it was watching tv rolled up in a blanket? (im doing that rn)

(guess who saw ur kakyoin reblogs?? and LOVED THEM??? thank u for the food..,.i am a bad noodle i need to find some fire josuke to reblog. just for u)

-from the tiredest secretive mostnt strnskslymyn andjfoeorngswo ANSON 😗😗😗🤙🏼 🥰

i got sleep dont u worry!! but hell yea, you got the big job out of the way >:D painting a room sounds tiring i,,, you poor soul hhh

I SAW THE TIKTOK

AND MY BROTHER GAVE ME A WEIRD LOOK LIKE “wtf u laughin at” he wanted to see, and he did, but he didn’t get it slkfemsnekj i didn’t get it too much either?? i’ve only seen,,, 3 or 4 episodes of clone high but i know who that Bastard is and i laughed my ass off. i’m also listening to a playlist i made for josuke atm uwu i am really glad you liked the kak playlist!! you are a Legend for knowing most of the songs. i only know some bc of the memes :’)

it’s very valid that you’re trying to read jojo chronologically. i’m just,, impatient LMAO. i plan on actually reading all of it but it’ll probably end up like how i read haikyuu,,, i’ll be fixated for a week or so, put it down for like 3 months, then remember that i wanna read it, read One (1) chapter, then put it down for another 2 months, then bLAZE THROUGH IT LMAO. reading digital manga has been kinda odd for me,, i tend to procrastinate a lot,, but yes!! part 5 has some amazing visuals and i am jealous like?? i wanna go to itally??? i’ve kinda always wanted to go i shove down my hetalia phase and i even tried to learn italian!! but,, didn’t last,, haha,, i still appreciate the culture and all that tho <3

sm...smart? homie i am failing two classes im, im no way smart i just like torturing myself i think. i can be over ambitious too sefklslek bUT YO?? YOU WANNA BE A MUSCIAN?? :0 THAT’S HELLA POG TF!!! you better invite me to your concerts in the future or i am suing you Somehow. wait do you play an instrument or do you sing?? :0 either way, you my friend are So Cool what the hell. i get to be moots with u?? im gonna cry-- i’m kinda glad covid happened only for the reason that it gave me extra scholarship money, very pog. other than that it needs to go away lmao.

but skdelk my day was Okay at most. i was sleeping for a good bit of it,, it kinda fucked up my plans for today honestly. i’ll try to get my day together eventually,, i hope your day was good dude!! am glad i can keep u well fed hehe

#stealthiest brave anon 😌#u r also so fucking funny #you have me laughing whenever you send your asks #i really thought i found u this morning tho #BUT I DIDN'T #and im so confused like how can i not find u if ur a moot.....#i checked All of my /followers/ which is only like... 30 ppl #im Confused

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uniformbravo · 5 years

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a bunch of winter 2020 anime first impressions from Me

Koisuru Asteroid / Asteroid In Love

ok ive already professed my love for this one so i wont get too much into it but basically it’s Extremely cute & im way invested in the two (HOPEFULLY romantic) leads bc their relationship is so sweet so far aaaaaaa

like do u SEE this shit im actually tearing up hgnfhrognfghdjfnjg

this show is Pretty and Cute and Space-Themed and Probably Gay what more do u Need. i love it 10/10

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

so fucken good, this is the one i was most excited for based purely on the art style/animation and god did it deliver, everything is such a treat to look at i fuckin LOVE a setting w/ just as much personality as the characters

and My Goodness the Characters, 3 distinct girls w/ strong designs & personalities that aren’t like super moe/catered to cishet dudes heLLO

we Love a gremlin protag & her chaotic neutral best friend & the “fuck you dad i want to make anime” dreamer they meet........

also HELL YEAH it’s about making anime and they don’t even use that as a gimmicky set piece, the art is a huge part of the story and the detail with which it’s explored in the first ep gives me high hopes for the rest of the show aaaaa so excited to see where this one goes after that BANGER of a first episode

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

switching gears to a less great one lol..... so the thing is this show’s visual aesthetic absolutely fucking slaps in a way that’s so rare to see in a sea of samey anime art styles, like the character designs are unique and everything is so damn colorful, the backgrounds alone blow me away w/ how fuckin Pretty they are??? LOOK at this shit

and just. this show has a lot of stylistic flourishes that make it like 100/100 Certified Good-To-Look-At Anime

which makes every other aspect of the show that much more disappointing lmaoooo like ok i can deal w/ a mediocre story if the visuals slap, which they Do, but also these characters look 10 & we’re doing the whole sexualizing minors thing which fucking BLOWS it’s so uncomfortable to watch........... i feel like it’s one of those things where they’re trying to justify it by being like “o well hanako’s like a thousand year old spirit or whatever so he’s not REALLY underage” but fuckin. fuck off he looks and sounds like a Young Boy yall know what ur doing ugh

it’s not a thing that happens Constantly throughout the episode, really just a few moments here and there, but it is in the op pretty prominently so i feel like it’s gonna be a Thing that keeps happening so idk if i’ll stick w/ this one in particular which is a Damn Shame bc it really is such a gorgeous looking show im mad

number24

ok ngl just from the character designs alone i rly didn’t think this one was gonna make as good a first impression as it did??? i guess the huge ensemble cast of pretty boys reminded me of last season’s actors: songs connection, which uh. was Not great,

so i went into it totally expecting it to be all shitty but it rly surprised me, i found it so intriguing? the characters are actually really endearing so far...... i love how it doesn’t try to shove the entire cast in our faces in the v first ep but instead starts out w/ a small handful and lets us spend a lil time w/ them while only giving assorted Hints and passing impressions of the others, that was nice

also love how very not “generic sports anime” it is right off the bat by dropping us right into the middle of these characters’ story instead of doing the whole “bright-eyed first year joins the team and fights his way to the top” sorta deal- which you’d think would be a confusing and awkwardly paced approach but in this case is handled surprisingly well, especially because it seems like it’s gonna have a lot more elements of a character drama than a straight up classic sports anime (which i am Super here for)

(there is a lot of rugby in the op though so we’ll see how things go, it’s only been 1 ep after all)

the air drop into the characters’ established lives makes introductions a lot more organic as well; since the characters are already familiar with each other we don’t have to sit around watching everyone introduce themselves to the protag, we get to infer their relationships and general opinions of each other through their various interactions & it’s a thousand times more engaging imo!!

i mean we do have this other first year joining as a manager and our protag did deliberately say he learned everyone’s names/info after deciding to become a manager so im sure we’ll be getting those character introductions anyway, but well. we’ll cross that bridge if/when we come to it

also i believe this takes place in college rather than high school?? i couldn’t pay attention to every detail but i definitely got that kind of vibe in which case Hell Yeah another welcome deviation from the norm babeeyyyy (i just checked and it Is college yeehaw)

basically what im saying is im tired of tropes & number24 just no clipped past the first 25 chapters of the sports anime formula and also it’s set in university AND it seems to be character-driven & im living thanks thank u

Pet

ok ill be honest i completely forgot that i watched this one lmaooo (which should give u a hint as to what i thought of it *thinking emoji*)

the art style’s whatever and the animation’s whatever, nothing special there. the show is like, dark?? more stupid than dark idk it feels a little bit “welcome to my twisted mind” but the twist is homophobia w/ a mild side of ableism, and also an entire episode of suspense wondering if im gonna have to watch this black side character die (he doesn’t, so there’s that at least)

honestly i cant even remember what drew me to this show enough to put it in my plan to watch, i guess the premise sounded interesting enough (something about controlling minds and erasing memories?), but mature psychological shows usually aren’t really my scene, especially when they’re executed.... Like That. i did kind of enjoy the twist at the end, mildly, though i feel like it was pretty obvious in hindsight and the only reason i didn’t see it coming is bc i can be astoundingly shortsighted when it comes to things like that (aka im DUMB)

since it took until the very end of the episode to Really introduce our dynamic duo tho, i feel like this ep was more of a prologue than anything and the Real show is gonna begin in ep 2, which is great n all but uh. idk if i care enough to give that a watch tbhhhh. i might just to see what the show has to offer but really truly honestly cant see myself sticking this one thru to the end lmao rip

hate to end on a bummer note like that but hey that’s all i got for this post ! i have more shit to watch so i’ll probably end up making like a part 2 w/ more impressions but this is getting long enough that it’s becoming kind of a pain to keep adding more so thats it for now boiyoeiyeoii

#i kept wanting to talk abt my thoughts & figured this format would be more efficient than making a bunch of scattered text posts #also this way i get to include pictures to help identify each show #which is a lot more fun and probably way easier to understand wtf im talking about #so thats my gift to u ur welcome #retag later #ani blogging

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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so im watching ice princess bc. brain empty. it has been like legit 15 years since i watched it! this was the very first ice skating thing i have ever watched and i was OBSESSED with it when we rented it in vhs. i wouldnt get Actually Into figure skating until sochi but this movie was the reason i was gliding around in socks on the floor and started watching winter olympics as child

it starts w this song that sounds like a ripoff of this OTHER early 00's girl movie song that i cannot remember (or prob never learned lol) the lyrics to and its driving me crazyyy

the ptbr version is called 'sonhos no gelo' aka dreams on ice and i personally think its a better name than ice princess

then again dreams on ice is such a ice show name so maybe thats why they chose not to lol

the music that is playing when hayden panettiere (??) first talks to georgina from gg is. . . weirdly soft porn-y. harold-

OMG WHO IS THE GENERIC "HOT" JOCK. WHERE DO I KNOW HIM FROM

i feel like sasha cohen being who makes georgina go 'omg. moving on ice requires physics!!!and thus Plot' would generate Some Type of dumb discourse today. i cant explain it i just feel it

that tv is very very old .

im so happy that joan cusak is playing an annoying judgy feminist she looks like shes loving it as she should

color coded skaters!

kim cattrall as a scary retired Did She Break A Competitors Leg Did She Not Guess! coach mom named tina is also what she Should be doing

i remember she and joan cusak fight ?by the end? so we are looking forward to That

is this another 'give the girl that the mc has chemistry with a brother for no homo reasons' example; never rewatch your heroes

juniors faking landing quads in 2005? sounds kinda precocious but what do i know

movies abt artistic sports usually Highly overestimate how nice the training outifts are but caseys a woman of the people

georgina wearing kim cattralls old outfit and the yoiness of it all. idk how to feel abt that. blueprint

honestly if my mom hated fs costumes and made me wear That i would definetely rebel

ok listen. i dont Really Know, and i guess the point is that as a Physics Person with Talent she like breaks the barriers or something but . . 'tucking ur arms in' 'pushing with your toepick' are pretty standard things people are conscious of and i dont think theyd make a girl whos been training for a couple months land a double ? would she even have the muscles for that . i mean OK ITS A DISNEY MOVIE IK i Know IM JUST. ok ok

whys georginas token best friend so likeable. get it ann

teddy, the no homo zamboni driver

joan cusack and kim cattralls passive agressive interactions!!!!!!!! ty for my life

Unlikely Complex Computer Program Check

jen! im not dressed for a party! sigh. shake it. ??? eye roll your hair >>>>>

GENERIC HOT JOCK IS SHANE OMEN OMGGGG I KNEW I KNEW HIM

hey! you get paid to be a has been on ice ok. and its Awesome. and its probably more fun than competing all things considered lbr

no but like, its not like georgina couldnt go to college during or after a skating career..... plenty of athletes do that.....

considering she could retire circa 2015, she could even become a youtuber on TOP and capitalize on yuri on ice. joan cusack has no eye for the future smh

but making her mom not simply a controlling academic but instead a working professor regretting probable wasted potential was a smart choice

aw cds !!

'youllbe be worth even more when you win' damn dont hold back tiffanys dad

i feel seen with the way the parents are so obnoxious in this movie

i mean i feel seen bc i had to deal w ballet parents not that i am a obnoxious parent myself, i. i dont have kids

i wish i could say omg thats so dumb as if athletes are always at each others throats like that but uh. on junior level? it happens

hayden panehfd and georgina ending up together would have been so cute sigh

only the girls/women are important in this movie and im into this. rip teddy

zoey bloch sure can rock

i wish i knew how to hidroblade :( or. skate. at all; lmao

nikkis regionals costume was very cute , prize for the jumping bean!! . eh shrimp

so who choreographed georginas programs? tina? did she do it herself? is that why they look kinda meh. why didnt they show it

ok but like. needing to break in brand new shoes is . is it not . common knowledge. :for anything. ?

LIKE im not defending the sabotaging of a teenager but. as a Smart Person who Knows Physics and has been training in a high impact sport and STUDYING IT, did it rly not occur to her that like. competing in brand new, though skates might be a Bad Idea? she figured out how to land a triple in months but not that performing on brand new shoes sounds kinda stupid??

ooo~~ its just like sarajevo~~

JOAN CUSAK AND KIM CATTRALL THROWING IT DOWN YES

the dramatic fight makes it kinda inescapable that they act circles around the kids but oh well

why didnt kim cattrall push teddy to be a figure skater too. like double the odds of a success, seems kinda obvious

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS

*hayden panerimo, voice cracking* anD I WANT *kim cattrall*okay okay thats enough -

drama in the hallwayyy

georgina answering "why are u passionate about harvard" with essentially "im not" kinda iconic ngl

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS²

whys she not wearing the new skates. she already has them now, and for free too

i have never seen an actual frozen lake in my life but are those cracks supposed to be like that

yes it IS a beautiful sport casey tell em !!

kim cattrall was a such a big brain choice. who else would sell 'im not gonna apologize for sabotaging you and taking advantage of ur stupidity" to a 16 year old in a disney movie

"i dont have to like or trust my coach "kjasdkfn casey,,,,, sweetie. i mean eteris girls do win trophies back to back so I Guess In A Way but also.,,,,,, sweetie-

i know that she meant it in a general way, but the Possibility of kim cattrall and joan cusack going to high school together and somethin something Watching and Envying the pretty prom queen/world champion, something being tired of performing feminity something something short skirts something harsh realities of academia and pro sports careers / anywhere for women something. something something.

michelle kwan!! i did not remember her in this

forget georgina and hayden panettone, otp is hayden / ann . hann!! tutor trope!!!!

omg does joan cusack teach at a community college or a encceja type of thing . bitter moms plot thickens

zoey skated to toxic! queen.

i watched this movie so many times in the days i had it rented that i actually still remember a lot of the final programs choreos lmao

skate w the heart uwu

costume prettye

ah!! i used to try to copy the programsss thats why i know the moves LMAO the memories ,,, keep coming back to me

whats this gala lighting all of a sudden???

hann keeps on winning!! look at that hug!they left together! arms linked!!!!!!!

centering the mom daughter relationships is a :'''') for me

we stan nikki

dramedy centering on joan cusack and kim cattrall navigating georginas career

FEEL THE RAIN ON

YOUR

SKIN

NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOUU

this was nice :') its confirmed ive had good taste since toddler age 🤷

#ice princess #:')#this was a memory lane trip #filmes #m.

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possibilistfanfiction · 7 years

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hey jude!!! just read ur last anon abt being nb and wondered if u could talk abt ur own gender experience?

well basically i didnt grow up in a very open household, like rly Zero discussion of gender, so i know i Experienced gender entirely but i played almost exclusively with the boys in my class until probably grade 6 or 7, & at puberty, even tho i was a better athlete than most boys in my class still, i started hanging out with girls more, at recess, etc. i was always into androgyny, even if i had no idea (& i didn’t) what that was—i liked some femme things, absolutely, but i wanted nothing to do w skirts or pretty shoes. i wanted to be in adidas running sneakers 24/7 if i could help it, & i wore a uniform to school w the option of a skirt/pants, & im p sure i always wore pants. at the time this, to me, seemed more functional, & it was, but it was also, as i can understand now, something that made me feel Less like a girl, although not at all like a boy.

when i was older, 12, 13, 14, my parents wanted me to dress nicer, & i was v much into like american eagle shit, although by mid hs i was into some vintage stuff. one rly big odd style influence for me was mia wasikowksa in this weird movie called restless bc it was this v soft femme androgyny & i think for me this kind of gender expression became very important to see & understand. it wasn’t that she didn’t look like a girl, or that she wasn’t a girl, but she also sometimes looked like a boy, or wore boys clothes, but she wasn’t butch. idk this movie sent me for a loop honestly lol.

& obviously my understanding of gender expression didn’t correlate (& doesn’t correlate!) w so many gender identities, & “passing” is extremely harmful as a notion, etc. but when i was younger my understanding of gender & sexuality was very limited & began to expand when i saw very femme but still andro ppl, even tho i couldn’t articulate it at the time.

when i was a teenager i knew i didnt want to rly have a single thing to do w any boy, which made me sure i was a lesbian bc thats the only narrative i’d rly known abt queerness, or queer women, or even queer ppl who presented as femme. there werent any out lesbians at my school (no fucking way), & the only out queer kid at all was a white gay guy a year older than me, who was popular in the way white gay boys can be popular in high school. but i read voraciously, was fascinated by the crossdressing in shakespeare (paris in the merchant of venice was a particular fixation of mine?) & anyway. i knew i was queer, i knew i liked girls, & i knew i was outrageously uncomfortable w my body, particularly my breasts. for a long time i thought this was because i was ashamed of my sexuality, when i came to sort of understand that, but ofc now i know abt dysmorphia & dysphoria, so yknow. knowledge.

when i went to college i came out big time, & it became very important to me to both be queer & look sort of queer but not queer enough to be Queer—i wanted ppl to be like ‘maybe into girls, but maybe straight.’ as im sure many of us know, this was a lot of internalized shame abt a lot of things, so that sucks. however, i cut my hair which was like the first comfortable thing i had done for my appearance in a v long time, & also smth which my parents hated & i did anyway. i wore a Lot of rly femme stuff bc they hated it tho? so this was all v confusing for me bc my parents are v homophobic, & here i was in college starting to read queer theory & gender theory & falling in love w like. the most beautiful, brilliant girl, & also spiraling into a mixed episode after i got diagnosed w bipolar I, which sort of put everything else on the backburner for a year.

eventually tho i sorted that out (as much as u can sort smth like that out) & i started to rly pay attention to androgyny. i went to europe & i think theres a whole bunch of nuances to fashion that exist there that certainly arent here, & i spent a winter in warsaw so there were aspects to fashion & expression there that were entirely abt functionality, which i was v attracted to. in college, as well, & especially after college, gender became smth i was v much invested in bc i was (& absolutely am) a feminist, so my place in the canon & zeitgeist was one as a queer female writer. it was so so central to who i was, & what i was writing abt. every single thing i wrote in college was in some way a balm, some sort of piece abt myself, learning abt trauma & the body. sorting through a lot of hurt. i could write a theory piece abt elizabeth bishop & reading it back now i know it was also abt me, that kinda stuff.

when i went to toronto i rly rly started being invested in looking critically at gender & my experience of it bc being read as a woman was smth that was grating on me, even tho i had identified as woman for so long, & had no desire at all to transition. i know 100% i am not a trans man, so that was confusing for a long time because i sort of knew there was a space between but it was very hard to conceptualize. eventually i sort of came to understand gender is a color wheel where cis boys are blue & cis women are pink & then theres literally a ton of other colors out there, so yknow. lots of different experiences of gender. some days i feel much more strongly like i identify w women (in mostly political situations, it matters to me to be read as “female” sometimes bc rights for ppl w vaginas AND trans women are FUCKED UP in so many places). some days i hate the idea of identifying as a woman. i also never want to identify as a man. so when i was in toronto i rly started to know a LOT of queer ppl w so many different expressions of gender. & we were all young & lovely & open & fucked up & we would get fucked up but we would also go read together in the park & wander around alleys in the snow & like. there’s a Muchness to toronto that i experienced that helped me, personally, understand these intersections between my own sexuality & gender & expression as much more than just a gay woman who isn’t butch & isn’t femme. i was rly lucky to become part of a community that identified as Queer, & so i became v much understanding of these different aspects of my own identity that fell outside of binary—my sexuality, my gender. Queerness is a vital & profound thing to me & i was rly able (& so fortunate) to have a close friend group of mostly queer ppl & then a few of the actual literally most incredible allies i’ve ever known & will ever know.

so then from there i just rly kinda thought abt things & like i got a binder & stuff in TO but rly started to evaluate my dysmorphia & dysphoria (i had struggled really badly w an eating disorder in/post college) & was able to sort out that so much of it had to do w feeling uncomfortable in the way my body was read in the world. & that will always happen bc i LOVE makeup & i have a “feminine” voice & sometimes i love skirts & i shave my legs bc i like how it feels sometimes & i dont ever want to go on T—none of these things make anyone ANY gender, but ofc theyre coded as “female.” but i’m learning to just yknow educate where i can & take a lot of solace in the community of ppl i have fostered who support & understand my Being. i’ve also allowed myself to be invested in aesthetics & fashion & how much a role that plays bc like. yah fuck Yah i look cool shit bc my friends love it & absolutely i wanna wear the same vans maia mitchell has & i want a melodrama hoodie & i LOVE local toronto designers & their angsty patches abt sad songs & whiskey but i love fashion born out of histories that is connected to smth i can understand, like queer punk movements, or smth my friends & i share, like blundstones (which are gender neutral, which is cool). i’m fascinated in how ppl express their Selves, & we are so unfortunately Finite in our bodies in the sense that that’s rly how the world, in our day to day interactions, processes who & what we are. so i invest in the care of mine by trying to listen to it, trying to make it comfortable—& clothing is a huge thing that can do that. also its fun so anyone who thinks loving (ethical, cool) fashion is vain can eat my ass

anyway lmao now i have a p decent sense, atm at least, of what makes my body its most comfortable (even if that is v far from Comfortable at times). i love my tattoos, & i basically never rly want long hair again i’m p sure, & i love makeup, & if i could wear vans or blundstones every day for the entirety of my life at this point that would be incredible. those are easy things, & i try to allow my body, in its cultural place, to have access to them as much as possible, which is so important to me in a sense of having access to a physical space that matches my mental space of gender identity. politically sometimes i feel v v much a “woman” in terms of my lived experience, & i allow that of myself as well. sometimes when i write it’s important to me that my poetry be read as a queer person but also someone who is culturally coded as a woman, bc those are still always central concerns of my work—the trauma, the power there. but day to day i’m mostly happy spending my time obsessing over other things, like what to call this new genre of music halsey & lorde are making, or why my dog stevie is a Fanatic when it comes to ice cubes. ive come to enough terms w my gender, & my sexuality—& the expression thereof—that unless someone is talking abt gender, or someone asks me a question, it’s not smth that is constantly on my mind, which is. Nice. its so nice lol.

also i would like to point out that i know my experience being non binary is rly rly white & western in so many ways & i get that. my cultural experience of non binary gender is also v much this like. ive felt frustrated before but never in my life have i felt scared to be non-binary while i was like out & abt in the world, bc i still pass as a cis white woman literally everywhere all the time (which has its pros & cons but like, still, a lot of privilege). so i do try to keep all of that in mind as well when i try to center myself & all that jazz

& who tf knows where all of that will take me. i feel like, bc ive learned to listen to my body & my brain so much better than i did when i was younger—even when they might hate themselves—i am so much better at filling up a space in the world that occupies smth healthy. which is not smth i take lightly, & i’m also so open to changes, as long as they feel good & beneficial & true. which is sort of new for me. who knows man ur mid twenties are a wild ride

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swearronchanel · 8 years

Text

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with” TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!! STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

#call the midwife #I am certified TRASH FOR THIS SHOW #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL #MY GRINCH HEART GREW BEFORE IT DIED #lets get it 1962 #MY BBY HAD A BABY #ILL NEVER BE OVER IT #masterpost #my commentaries™

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shinkei-shinto · 7 years

Text

Season Two.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] I mean they can still Live over There

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] i just also wanna do Magic rn

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] the problem was

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] I was actually going to ask 'how do i completely tear apart and rework my established species into something i'm happy with now?'

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] That's a pretty heavy question. What are you unhappy with about it currently?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] I feel trapped, and 2-dimensional

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] like I've backed myself into a kind of corner where I can't actually insert anything new and good and Fun to play with

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] like it's a very small, limited time-space thing, where there isn't room to figure out overarching themes or time-based things like overthrowing a reigme (not what I want to do but An Example)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] And if you were going to just edit out those parts you dislike currently it wouldn't be the same anymore so it's easier to just rebuild it from the ground up?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] I feel like I have a finished product, almost, like I'm holding something beautiful and complete and pretty in my hands

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] and to just jam, say, magic in, would ruin the entire structure I've built -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] I don't feel like I can tear out just what I like about my own story, without disrespecting the things I already have that - once - I cared about and loved

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] So rather than rework, you kind of want to immortalize the current species as is and make a new one?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] like I need an AU where some of it is the same, but I haven't just torn out this whole structure that I already had

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] It's like -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] Like I tried. and I got somewhere, I built my thing, it stands on its own, it's pretty good.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] But I know I could have done better /with them/

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] But you can't do that as it is now because the details are already all there?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] yeah, there's no room for the cool shit I wanna put in, because I built things too watertight, too little loopholes

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] Then wouldn't the easiest way be just to make an alternate timeline? With the same origin, but perhaps certain key events unfolded differently so that you now have the room to add in the things you want. It doesn't invalidate what's already there, and it seems the perfect setup for being able to keep what you do like

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] yeah? probably?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] all the answers I've gotten so far have been like, "why don't you just redo it entirely" "why don't you just cut out what is dissatisfying you"

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] and that, feels like it's Wrong

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] Because it would sully the original?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] it's dishonest to the work I've done

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] the same reason I have left my dA gallery alone for nearly 8 years now

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] sure, it wasn't Great, there are lots of concepts I made happen Better, I redid and did nice and stuff,

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] there's things I will never touch again and am very embarrased by

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] but I Let It Stay

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] If any kind of rework of the original would be a disservice, then it sounds like the only real solution is to make something new entirely, that has no bearing or relation to your old work

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] the alternate timeline thing sounds like the best option I've been given so far, because it lets me respect the fact that I did work, old work, good work, it can Stay There

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] without making me backed into a corner on my own designs

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Taza] Since they're separate timelines, they'd never need to interact, or technically have any relation to each other aside from the similar origins

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] because like

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] I have ideas, things, solid things that have basis in the structure I have already built - things like species limits, or their lack of ability to have sparks/fire on their planet -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:40] [Forwarded from Shin 🐐] but don't fit in with the social and lack-of-magic structure that was there, before

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:41] so, I don't want to destroy/remove s1

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:41] but s2 is where I wanna Work bc s1 feels Done

Gray, [07.05.17 21:14] so u get ur loyal warriors with the knowledge one day they're prob going to try 2 best you? (but like u'll know its coming)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:14] mhmm, exactly

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:14] there's no old-and-fat-kings

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:14] if you get your ass beaten, you either graciously step down and advise them, or demand that they kill you and release your soul to the metallics

Gray, [07.05.17 21:15] NICE

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:15] there's probably some empires that're like "yeah no we all advise the new kings, he's got an honor "guard" of like 15 prior kings"

Gray, [07.05.17 21:16] tbqh thats p badass thoh

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:16] and then some that have a bloody line of single kings

Gray, [07.05.17 21:16] like. conceptually i REALLY enjoy that

Gray, [07.05.17 21:16] and tru

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:16] plus

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:17] then you get the advice of all of those who were beaten - and you probably had to fuck up at least a couple of them yourself

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:17] and they're gonna respect one another, likely have some kind of balance/order of their own

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:17] very little infighting

Gray, [07.05.17 21:19] tru!

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:21] but also, consider:

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:23] you enter the throne room of your leader, your king, the monarch of monarchs. there is some kind of a throne, it varies to every one, but across the floor - a wonderful, polished, well maintained surface - there are shapes.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:24] dark, at first, hard to make out, until you realize what they are, until you step next to one on your way into the true space of the throne room, flanked by two guards that look so fierce you would not want to glance at either to see any closer.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:25] there's a name, written out in a deep russet color. The next is blue. The third, a vibrant and yet dark green. All of them lie next to pools in various shapes; some are tagged with scrapes and scratches, some are huge and circular, and some have written poetry, sayings, or pawprints.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:25] They are all that remains of the former kings, their last moments and last words immortalized, carefully kept under a thin layer of sheen, to preserve them for all eternity.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:26] And although his claws are no longer stained, the brilliant blue that resides just to the left of his throne room has a haunting message written in the freshly-laquered blood: Good luck.

Gray, [07.05.17 21:26] LORD

Gray, [07.05.17 21:26] thats gonna be interesting when they run outta floor space

Gray, [07.05.17 21:26] or if someone wants to redecorate

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:27] probably make a new throne room, tbh

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:27] just bc fighter chose to sit in that one, that lineage, doesn't mean they all do

Gray, [07.05.17 21:27] fair enough

Gray, [07.05.17 21:28] tho i feel like by that point making a new one would feel almost like desecration

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:28] How do you make that decision, huh?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:28] maybe when the bloodstains start to obscure one another

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:29] can you imagine walking that room, as king, picking where you want to die?

Gray, [07.05.17 21:29] places a reserved sign on the floor

Gray, [07.05.17 21:29] 'perfect'

-----------------------------------------

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:24] Cakes trying to imitate humans in greeting and just sneering their lip up off of their DISGUSTING MESS OF JAGGED RASP TEETH

Gray, [02.08.17 23:28] DIYFSDKJHFSDIOFLSDFBSDFBDSK

Gray, [02.08.17 23:28] PLEASE

Gray, [02.08.17 23:28] FUCK THAST GREAT

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:28] Cakes, who greet one another with carefully sheathed claws, bc they do not want to point things at each other,

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:29] "oh, humans just. they just hurt one another as greetings. uh. okay."

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:29] half of cakes: fuck this i'm out

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:29] the warrior descent half of cakes: YES HELLO HOW DO WE ENGAGE

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:29] FLING OUR ENTIRE BODIES W sPIKES OUT?

Gray, [02.08.17 23:29] SDFJBJSDKJFBSDKBFSDJKBFDSKJFB

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:30] listen i love the "FIGHT TO FIGHT" cakes but theyre

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:30] stupid

Gray, [02.08.17 23:34] OKAY MOOD

Gray, [02.08.17 23:34] theyr ebeautifulf

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:38] i lvoe them

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:38] but they would absolutely say 'hi' by turning into a miniature tornado at someone else

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:38] "CATCH ME" and all 7 of my flailing limbs, with spikes attached

Gray, [02.08.17 23:39] I LOVE THIS

Gray, [02.08.17 23:39] I LOVE THIS WITH ALL MY HEART

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:40] these kind stil exist in s2

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:40] they never went away

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:40] fighter is probably one of them

Shin 🐐, [02.08.17 23:40] "finally home" he says, sighing with relief, bc he can at least catch these ones instead of being smushed

-------------------

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:36] S2 Cakes and storms

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:36] Storms that come screaming in from the water and pull at their very homes

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:37] Homes built for it, that sway and whip cakes around like it is a game

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:37] Chasers who try and bottle storms, bottle eyes, bottle rain and wind and the anticipation of a break in the clouds

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:38] Cakes who live where there are hurricanes, and build homes with iron in the wood to withstand the winds, who all gather outside in the eye of the hurricane to see if they can catch a glimpse of a constellation that will tell their future

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:38] Magic cakes who make storms their focus, who summon or dismiss or gentle storms against their own, and make those against their enemies ferocious and deadly

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:39] Cakes who call storms to channel lightening into their bones, thinking it will help their magic, and the madness that ensues when it actually hits them

Shin 🐐, [14.05.17 20:41] Cakes who try to reproduce the feeling, the image, the idea of storms in paintings and magic to bring to their inland Kings, hoping for something in return

---------------------------

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:02] mmmonster designs?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:03] theeee place fighter washes up

Gray, [08.05.17 00:03] they hunt water monsters rite?

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:03] yeee there's been some

Gray, [08.05.17 00:03] : 0!

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:03] weird speculations on monstershapes

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:03] /tagged/nova-23-6

Gray, [08.05.17 00:04] I WILL LOOk

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:05] they probably have some way of luring the things to hunt them more effectively

Gray, [08.05.17 00:05] -chucks a pal into the water w a rope tied 2 'em-

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:05] kjdhfgksjhfgskjdfhg

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:05] more like

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:06] 'steals the eggs, raises them, intentionally causes them harm in order to make them cry for help'

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:06] 'kills the help'

Gray, [08.05.17 00:06] how do they get the eggs?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:07] cake that owns a tea shop +v+ ANYWAY

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:07] LITERALLY THO THATS THEIR CURRENCY/HOW THEYD DO SHIT

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:08] their whole thing would love focus on this kind of consumption

Gray, [08.05.17 00:08] IM SYKED TBH

Gray, [08.05.17 00:08] i think i knoe what my first s2 cake will b,

Gray, [08.05.17 00:09] I KNOW IVE SAID THIS A LOT BUT THIS IS SO COOL

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:09] lmao what do u want u think

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:09] huh huh

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:10] rn all I can tell you is: longer, short 2L are rare, lots of SPikey, intricate patterns and markings, lots of scarring/weapons/armor/things that are just Attached like permanenetly, carrying bags etc

Gray, [08.05.17 00:11] OOOO NICE

Gray, [08.05.17 00:12] no idea what their design might b but Probably a tea cake

Gray, [08.05.17 00:12] pun actually unintended

Gray, [08.05.17 00:12] until now

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:12] tbh

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:12] i think drugs are big there

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:12] hasbrown cakes, tea cakes, liquor cakes

Gray, [08.05.17 00:13] 2nd cake character, ur local drug dealer,

Gray, [08.05.17 00:13] does s2 have sugar?

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:13] totally possible

Gray, [08.05.17 00:14] 'do u have The Stuff' '-opens trenchcoat to reveal cookies-'

Gray, [08.05.17 00:15] so a bakery is where ud get Ur Drugs

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:15] a Bakery is probably a place to chill drugged

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:15] find em buy em have em made

Gray, [08.05.17 00:16] tea shop right beside th bakery >get thirsty after consumin that sugar >pop over for some tea

Gray, [08.05.17 00:16] >realize u can put sugar in tea and have ur mind blown

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:17] those that make other edible goods probably have a good relationship with the Bakeries

Gray, [08.05.17 00:17] true!!

Gray, [08.05.17 00:17] are bakeries kind of like bars?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:17] bars but for Cake Weed?

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:17] like, a bar + hookah joint + smoke shop?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:18] makes sense!

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:18] literally go there to sleep lie down calm down meditate, maybe to sharkpen your magic some

Gray, [08.05.17 00:18] by bar i mean like not so much in terms of atmosphere so much as Socially Accepted

Gray, [08.05.17 00:18] bc ppl will sideye a hookah place but not a bar

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:19] gotcha, yes

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:19] way more like a bar

Gray, [08.05.17 00:19] so sugar in s2 has the effects of a drug but like the social acceptance of alcohol? :0

Gray, [08.05.17 00:19] tho i mean alcohol is a drug

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:20] there's different levels -

Gray, [08.05.17 00:21] theres munching on a brownie and then theres snorting powdered sugar,

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:21] alcohol for us is like yeah whatever, and for them, liquor cake-stuff and then hashbrowning and then sugar

Gray, [08.05.17 00:21] ok explain hashbrowning bc im thinking of like

Gray, [08.05.17 00:21] the potatoe

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:30] i

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:30] did not actually have a fucking way that it worked lmao

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:30] all i have is fuckin

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:30] a doodle of a hasbrown'd out cake holding something smoke-making, and what they look like, and a hashbrowned Ryker

Gray, [08.05.17 00:31] hasbrowned?

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:35] but I'd love to have drugs be a large part of this, bc if they have rec' drugs, they've got medicine and science

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:35] but I'd like for Ryker to bring Runners to them

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:38] alcohol is mostly a breath-thing, although it could also show up as a drink-thing

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:38] but idk about weed/smoke/MJ

Gray, [08.05.17 00:38] Brownie joke here

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:39] that means it must be grown, somewhere

Gray, [08.05.17 00:39] Is there a special kind of fruit they extract it from?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:40] Or r u doin sugarcane

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:40] most of my sugar stuff has been fruit

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:40] distilled fruit has gone to the alcohol thing

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:40] rather than baked sugar, which is somehow more dangerous

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:40] so a soda, while a FUCKING DRINK, would not be as bad as a sugar cookie

Gray, [08.05.17 00:41] Could the smoke/steam from burning/caramelizing sugar get a cake high?

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:49] ssshrugs?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:49] I'll Google like. How much sugar goes up

Gray, [08.05.17 00:50] Tomorrow

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:50] but also: i want to keep it all sugar? or not?

Gray, [08.05.17 00:50] Sugar the most accepted but there are probably other drugs

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:50] cause like

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:51] slightly less accepted, but still Okay, drugs like weed for us

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:51] just, rooms where there's smoke

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:51] and they go and chill and breathe and focus

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:51] meditation style

Gray, [08.05.17 00:51] Sauna,but a High sauna

Shin 🐐, [08.05.17 00:51] yeeeeeee

Gray, [08.05.17 00:57] NIce,

---------------------------------

Gray, [07.05.17 16:48] also: the hollowness of ganache chests are there like how is it structured would u be able to cut it open and like store things there

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:49] I mean, it'd be like cutting another hold into ur lungs or ur womb

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:49] and while Runners do cut holes into their lungs, successfully, somehow

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:49] idk that u could Put anything in there?

Gray, [07.05.17 16:50] i mean you technically could if u tried hard enough its jus not

Gray, [07.05.17 16:50] advisable

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:50] u could totally cut holes in, like runners

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:50] but it wouldn't....... be worth anything?

Gray, [07.05.17 16:52] OK i think i was thinkin abt the ganache hollow chest area weirdly ive got a better idea now

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:53] it's like a womb/lungs but without an exit

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:53] there's possibly air, or fluid more likely? maybe? something in there, to make it hollow -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:53] or their lungs are able to expand further because they lack the gestating stuff that ever happens

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:54] (msot Cake Cakes have a vertical line from heart patch to about belly where the skin can open, it's not Fun and doens't work Well but it works GOOD ENOUGH DAMNIT)

Gray, [07.05.17 16:54] S T O R E S N A C K S I N Y O U R L U N G S F O R M A X I M U M S N A C K C A P A C I T Y

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:54] lkdfgs;fgjhSDFLGJHSDLFJKGH

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:54] tbh, you could, insert a nutritious slurry in there, and it would work

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:54] idk WHY YOU WOULD But

Gray, [07.05.17 16:55] lbr theres probably somecake that just

Gray, [07.05.17 16:55] 'i wanted to see if i /could/'

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:55] kjdfhgskjdfhgkjsdfhgdjkshfg

Gray, [07.05.17 16:56] F E A S T O N M Y N U T R I T I O U S S L U R R Y, F R I E N D S

Gray, [07.05.17 16:57] actually you know how theres like. play productions and stuff probably? i think we talked about that that would be a good way to have an actor Fake-die Oh No Theyre Bleeding, Look At Them Dying

Gray, [07.05.17 16:57] (its rly n u t r i t i o u s s l u r r y)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 16:58] kfjhskldjfhgskdjfg h uh

Gray, [07.05.17 17:00] also the reason i asked in the first place is like. idk extra storage space when travelling thru somwhere (if it worked like i thought it worked but it doesnt work like i thought it worked tbh- i was thinking more like w/ tissue or skin or something seperating it from other organs) ? load up the ganache or s/t & also store things in the hollow

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:24] [In reply to Gray] you could, in theory, just like stuffing something in the stomach of a human being - but whatever you put in there, it's gotta be in there

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:24] so unless it was, like, wet sacks of something, biologically okay with the GGod

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:24] it'd cause infections and problems

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:25] cause it isn't like a stomach, so no digestive food, it's more like a Womb, which still could be slightly acidic and will be Wet

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:25] bc baby slime

Gray, [07.05.17 17:25] ooohhhh

Gray, [07.05.17 17:28] safe slurry lookin like blood for theatrical purposes

Gray, [07.05.17 17:28] or a /really dedicated prank/

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:29] like, as long as they were pretty safe for eating/fucking/etc, you could mush up fruitshit and use that

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:29] in a normal cake, at least -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:29] in a GGod, the natural flap that Cakes have from their Heart Patch to their belly is missing

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:29] so they'd have to cut that open artifically

Gray, [07.05.17 17:29] a /really/ dedicated prank

Gray, [07.05.17 17:30] BUT YEAH THAT MAKES SENSE

----------------------------------------------

Gray, [07.05.17 17:31] also how does the magic in s2 work? is it Within? is it Around, but cakes can be attuned to it? is magic associated w nature and does a resource drain (i.e. LP) affect it, or is it simply that the s1 just Forgot

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:35] ggestures at the last story I wrote, it's intrinsic to Cakes somehow, but something abotu concentration something about breeding something about the diseases that killed off so much of their people ruined it

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:35] broke it

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:35] the Ancient One remembers some, can stir it some, but concentration is big -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 17:35] there's a mass to it, you can't start it with nothing, but make too much and it starts to implode

Gray, [07.05.17 17:35] ooooo :0

Gray, [07.05.17 18:00] what are the limitations of the magic? whats the #flavor like Make This Charm And You'll Influence Your Luck or more of a physical manifestation, i.e. LOOK MOM I CAN MAKE FIRE W/ MY HANDS

Gray, [07.05.17 18:00] are there curses?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:14] think physical; it's a lot like "believe this hard enough and it Works" the one good concrete example I have is the "summon a fire in your soul and you can Burn Out the metal poison"

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:14] it's focused on making the impossible and unreal, real and possible, bringing it into their life

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:14] so metallic trees grown from seeds carefully breathed on

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:14] growing things into homes together by belief and basically meditation

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:14] you could probably curse another cake. but they could undo it, or get a friend to undo it, and I have a feeling tracking it back is Really Fucking Easy

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:15] and if they find you

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:15] however there's "curses" and there's "*curses*"

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:15] and turning your friends' tongue into the shape of a fish for a day isn't goign to get you anything but literal jelly bean toes for a week

Gray, [07.05.17 18:16] NICE

Gray, [07.05.17 18:17] are there some curses hardedr to reverse than others?

Gray, [07.05.17 18:18] i.e. someone cursing some1 else w/ their dying breath in vengeance using everything theyve got left for it ?

Gray, [07.05.17 18:18] do moments of extreme emotion amplify magic?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:38] [In reply to Gray] probably; but it's likely based on the individual rather than the curse itself? whether they were strong enough to push the curse, or you are strong enough in belief to break the curse.

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:39] [In reply to Gray] death is Big because they want to skip the steps and go straight to Metallics, so being a dick while they die is like, the biggest no, unles s they were SO BITTEr and then idk what happens to magic when the source is Done, death goodby gone

Gray, [07.05.17 18:39] theres always someone Bitter Enough

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:40] [In reply to Gray] PROBABLY? I feel like most magic is the calm kind, the growth kind, the living stuff is more for the calm strength working to gether but then there's WAR MAGIC , which is deffo big anger energy death kill war and probably, things like, funny magic, where u just REALLY wanna get ur friend SO BAD u know those moments where like u fuck up and say the wrong thing bc ur SO EXCITED TO PRANK UR FRIEND that probably makes for a pretty sticky "curse"

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:40] [In reply to Gray] bitter enough to try and expend their shit cursing someone instead of ascending to magic that u literally see, throughout your life, when your magic may or may not even exist after u die?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:41] like I feel like it would try, and then go away,and then come back when they reincarnated, which wouldn't matter unless the other one was also reincarnated at the same time and also not a metallic

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:41] so I mean u could get multiple friends like wanting to be together FOR GOOD and so they, as they die, fuckin shove their energy-magic at one another to do something Stupid like turn one ear white or something, and it ties them together through rebirths until the both die at once and Ascend

Gray, [07.05.17 18:42] i live for funny magic

Gray, [07.05.17 18:42] i need a prankster cake

Gray, [07.05.17 18:42] THIS IS REALLY COOL

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:43] this is what I Wanted 2 do with them like

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:43] these are the Cakes that Escaped and continued growing their culture

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:44] and I think, like, they're just warlike - disease of the body is uncommon, so one of the ways that they naturally regulate their population is to literally kill one another

Gray, [07.05.17 18:44] would gladiator-esque type matches exist?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:45] yesssssssss

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:45] there's big fucking fuck-off wars, probably mostly over territory, resources, and HONOR, but also:

Gray, [07.05.17 18:45] in lieu of th festival ganache battles

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:45] there are Cakes that get older and go "alright itme to fucking die" and when enough of those happen

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:45] they get together and tournament-style to the Last Living One who is expected to either die from their wounds or probably self-sacrifice

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:46] and the hope is that during the tournament each of the other cakes, the ones that die, turn Metallic and rise

Gray, [07.05.17 18:47] would this be similar to the old norse sort of concept of heroism/ideal death? i.e. highest honors 2 those who die in combat + the concept that true heroism is knowing the odds are impossible but fighting and dying anyway?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:48] sorta a little bit? rather than honor through valor, it's a little different, it isn't like

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:48] "kill the most and you win" it's like "live a good life and do well and Fight Good because you know how"

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:49] and sometimes that "fight good" is "literally beat the shit out of someone else" and sometimes that "fight good" is "meditate into a tree"

Gray, [07.05.17 18:49] Cake Valhalla

Gray, [07.05.17 18:49] i, for one, would love to meditate into a tree

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:50] bc part of how they Do is by growing tree-things into big ass tree-home-city-things, moving the natural world

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:50] and there's a infection thing, the thing that the Ancient One has, where you can turn into a fucking tree that just Happens

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Gray, [07.05.17 18:52] in terms of holidays what would there be?

Gray, [07.05.17 18:52] are there holidays involving a mandatory truce?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:53] I don't think so, I think everything is really mobile and weird and your loyalty is mostly to the head head batch topper Cake, like Fighter, who rules your entire section of the continent(s)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:53] you can Defect and such, and there are alliances and truces and stuff all over the place, but those are mobile too

Gray, [07.05.17 18:55] Oooo :00

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:55] but the only way that will stop is if the entire species is ruled by one individual

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:55] and that,,, probably will never happen

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:56] there's no real, rhyme or reason for it, there's no like "we have this difference", I think it's just encoded in them

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:56] Cakes just have a fire in them and some of them try to suppress it but many of them just Feel it roar and need to do something

Gray, [07.05.17 18:56] Gotta Punch

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:58] and they don't force anyone into the battles or the wars;

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:58] others will leave Cakes alone who wish it, and won't kill unless they're also being killed

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:58] but they have no hesitation for murder when murder is on the table

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 18:59] there have absolutely been times with warring parties entering cities and fucking things up and they run into caretakers, who are curled around their charges or the young or the weak and pass them by, times where cuppups come running at them with claws extended and they pick them up and put them out of the way

Gray, [07.05.17 19:00] so theres sort of a code of honor thing? (either unspoken or spoken)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:00] yeah, you don't kill the young, you don't kill the nonfighters

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:00] it's also probably gross/dishonorable to kill someone who isn't as "good" as you

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:00] easy prey is not a worthy target

Gray, [07.05.17 19:02] how far does that extend? would they ransack a city of its resources? bc inadvertantly that'd probably impact the nonfighters negatively

Gray, [07.05.17 19:03] are all leaders exceptional at combat? if they aren't, are they still a valid target seeing as they hold command?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:04] Leaders, toppers, whatever, have to be the best - have to fight their way to the top - the Biggest Ones, like Fighter, are a bit different, but the smaller ones - ones that run warring parties and the like

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:04] they just have to be good at fighting; there's a strict lineage, uh uh uh words

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:05] smaller leaders, the ones that would invade a city, are absolutely gonna be some of the best - have an elite guard - and are going to be after the other leader

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:05] disorganization isn't gonna stop them, though, part of the whole 'fire in your soul' thing

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:06] and even noncombatant Cakes are expected to be able to survive without cushy resource-rich cities, if they're ransaked or taken over

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:06] warring parties are more likely to take control, establish victory, than to destory anything - they're not interested in harming or ruining what is built, only owning it

Gray, [07.05.17 19:08] what about cakes that are highly charismatic, but not necessarily a fighter, but ones that know the Right Things To Say to get someone rallied into action (like. a leader's aide or something, gives themm the words or s/t)? or is it more, you have to back everything up wiv battle prowess before anyone will rallly up?

Gray, [07.05.17 19:08] or strategists that, again, arent the most physically abled but definitely have a hand in coordination/setting up an attack?

Gray, [07.05.17 19:09] would they also cound as a noncombatant? or since their actions lead to a battle/fight/bloodshed, theyre accountable as well?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:10] They're accountable to a degree; someone like the first example is going to be heavy in the magic side, and so would be expected to be met with another magic-heavy fight. A "standard" "footsoldier" is goign to want to knock them the fuck out and let the high-er-ups deal with it. they don't wanan deal with what would happen if they killed the less-fighty, but still valuable cake, but they sure as fuck don't want them to be running the scenes, either

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:11] The best way to survive things would be to be REALLY BAD at fighitng, REALLY GOOD at something else, and afucking turncoat as shit

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:11] passed between two or more Big Groups like a pretty gem, never worse than harmed or knocked out, but no loyalty so no getting higher up in the ranks, never get close to a Big Boss

Gray, [07.05.17 19:12] :Ic sOUNDS LIKE A FUN CHARACTER TBQH, i want 2 make/buy/repurpose a cake 2 use as,

Gray, [07.05.17 19:15] are there groups that makes use of spies? or is that Too Frowned Upon

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:17] Spies probably come in two flavors, 1: I literally just walked into your town and walked the fuck back out and everyone knows but no body fucking CARES 2: we had a spy but they stopped coming back so, uh, guess they're on their side now

Gray, [07.05.17 19:17] KDFKJDFBGJKD

Gray, [07.05.17 19:18] how important is loyalty to s2?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:20] depends on the level -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:20] small family groups, batches, are going to be intensely loyal, very well tied together, knit like a cloth

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:20] the bigger it gets, the looser the association, up to the point where some of it matters and some of it doesn't -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:21] some warring parties will flip flop or be easy to grab, others will have a topper who was once part of the Big Boss's batch or family or something and will DIE FOR THEM before they let even one of their party defect

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:21] Fighter has this down to a science, all of his general=types (down to anyone who controls more than 3 other cakes) are either born of him or were raised with him

Gray, [07.05.17 19:22] NICE

Gray, [07.05.17 19:22] whats more important, societally? honor or survival? how acceptable is survival as an excuse?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:31] honor, really, survival would be mostly considered cowardly - there's survival of noncombatants, which is an exception

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:31] but the base rules are: honor above all, duty to keeping the rules of combat above all, too

Gray, [07.05.17 19:31] nice!

Gray, [07.05.17 19:34] are there mercenary groups? or would it be more like small warring groups ud make a temp alliance with

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:38] definately groups that have lost allegiance to the current kings, i dunno where they would sit physically in the continent, maybe small forgotten or abandoned towns

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:38] and there's... not "neutral", but

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:39] towns that have a Function, like sea-monster-killing, which will be Taken Over (someone shows up and goes and puts a New Flag on the tall tree town hall) but not, no one does anything.

Gray, [07.05.17 19:40] oooohh :0

Gray, [07.05.17 19:40] if u ever wanna rp s2 cakes i would be interested btw i rEALLY LIKE THIS SOCIETY

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:41] eventually, once I have a little More,

Gray, [07.05.17 19:43] moving away from wartime stuff (though ill prob come up w more questions) whats s2 like in terms of like. making things. is it magic-reliant? tool-reliant? mix of both? whats the highest form of technology they could have?

Gray, [07.05.17 19:43] whats used as currency? is it trade-based?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:43] because I know they look somewhat physically different so I gotta figure That out before I go Doing them

Gray, [07.05.17 19:43] YEAH

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:44] the tech question is Cool bc I can do basically whatever the fuck I want

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:44] I don't think they do cars/planes/things/stuff, but beyond that it's fair fucking game

Gray, [07.05.17 19:45] /Nice/

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:45] currency is probably based on favor and a bit of 'credit', anything that can be immediately done in the moment is the best - you need rations? haul a buncha fucking things for me and I'll kit you out for a week

Gray, [07.05.17 19:47] not cum this time

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:47] nah, they got too big anyways -

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:47] there's gotta be something with inherent value, but i'm not sure what

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:48] and like

Gray, [07.05.17 19:48] that will always b me favorite injoke tho

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:48] the monster hunter town that Ryker washes up in probably deals in monster parts as currency, they all understand the inherent worth — but that becomes way way more valuable the furhter you go from their town

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:48] in-town, other shit will be more valuable, but go a bit out of town and you're gonna want those "useless" scales

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:49] you could load up you and your friends and drag a literla fucking life-making fortune to the capital city

Gray, [07.05.17 19:50] cake caravans?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:51] possibly, yes

Gray, [07.05.17 19:51] bc that sounds like a p good way to make a living, if you could get yourself started

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:52] mhm, youand a couple other noncombatant merchants, drag a big ol' carcass escorted by some good fightin friends, bring it to the big city and sell it for all you can get

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 19:52] come back home rich in everything else

Gray, [07.05.17 19:55] how big of a risk for bandits?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:04] reasonable; bandit isn't the right word - it's more likely that you'll get attacked by other King's units/groups/things, trying to harm your King, so there's lots of running without banners and trying to barter your way out

Gray, [07.05.17 20:05] makes sense!

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:05] and it depends on the locale; where you are in a kingdom(s) is gonna determine how likely a warparty is

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:05] the kind of, disrupting commerce and fucking up the small ones, gurellia warfare, is super frowned upon

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:05] you want to Take That Shit, not hurt it before you can claim it

Gray, [07.05.17 20:10] also makes sense

Gray, [07.05.17 20:10] are t here any big kingdoms that participare in guerilla warfare?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:11] I'm gonna vote that Fighter doesn't let that happen

Gray, [07.05.17 20:11] time 2 fite the Big Kingdom

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:12] he raised a miniature army of cannibalistic massive walking gods

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 20:12] he has this shit down so fucking pat

Gray, [07.05.17 20:15] trUE

Gray, [07.05.17 21:08] whats the benefit of being the monarch of a city? do they make laws? how are they enforced if so? or it is more about money/prestige?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:09] You're the Best, and your prestige earns you a lot of leeway; laws are followed, if issued, so long as they are within the lines of belief already extant; great change would have to come from the ground up

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:10] But a monarch will live in comfort and something resembling excess

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:10] smaller batches or towns will flag to them if they can provide protection from others; stability is the greatest asset a King can provide

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:11] if you can make your lands, people, batches, warriors, relatively stable and encourage commerce trade and infrastructure

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:11] you're gonna last a looong time

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:11] (giving up your life to protect your monarch is one of those "sure fire" ways to get metallic)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:12] (it's probably based on a lotta other things, too, but unlike many other attempts to get metallic, this one has a much higher turnover rate)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:12] (so there's lots of data, and so much of it is positive, it's seen as a Good Thing a lot of the time)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:12] but to do that, you have to earn their loyalty and fierce protectiveness - which can be done best by beating the shit out of them, usually, at least the warlike ones

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:13] anyone who survives your fights or duels becomes your subordinate, and while they too want to best you eventually, they'll get in to the line of "I can do it LEGIT" and anyone who tries to best you not-legit, like an assassin, will be punched in the nose and sent home

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:13] (or just murdered. it depends.)

Gray, [07.05.17 21:14] so u get ur loyal warriors with the knowledge one day they're prob going to try 2 best you? (but like u'll know its coming)

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:14] mhmm, exactly

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:14] there's no old-and-fat-kings

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:14] if you get your ass beaten, you either graciously step down and advise them, or demand that they kill you and release your soul to the metallics

Gray, [07.05.17 21:15] NICE

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:15] there's probably some empires that're like "yeah no we all advise the new kings, he's got an honor "guard" of like 15 prior kings"

Gray, [07.05.17 21:16] tbqh thats p badass thoh

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:16] and then some that have a bloody line of single kings

Gray, [07.05.17 21:16] like. conceptually i REALLY enjoy that

Gray, [07.05.17 21:16] and tru

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:16] plus

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:17] then you get the advice of all of those who were beaten - and you probably had to fuck up at least a couple of them yourself

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:17] and they're gonna respect one another, likely have some kind of balance/order of their own

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:17] very little infighting

Gray, [07.05.17 21:19] tru!

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:21] but also, consider:

Gray, [07.05.17 21:26] LORD

Gray, [07.05.17 21:26] thats gonna be interesting when they run outta floor space

Gray, [07.05.17 21:26] or if someone wants to redecorate

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:27] probably make a new throne room, tbh

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:27] just bc fighter chose to sit in that one, that lineage, doesn't mean they all do

Gray, [07.05.17 21:27] fair enough

Gray, [07.05.17 21:28] tho i feel like by that point making a new one would feel almost like desecration

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:28] How do you make that decision, huh?

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:28] maybe when the bloodstains start to obscure one another

Shin 🐐, [07.05.17 21:29] can you imagine walking that room, as king, picking where you want to die?

Gray, [07.05.17 21:29] places a reserved sign on the floor

Gray, [07.05.17 21:29] 'perfect'

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#text post #long post #cake #cakes #nova 23 6 #nova-23-6

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