#bc the energy will come back in the evening and prevent me from sleeping lol

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

Did you know that tumblr has a maximum-of-words-in-a-paragraph limit??

Bc I just spent half an hour typing up a rant as I thought and I. uh. found it? The things you find out--

[unknwnxquantity]

I’m tired of caring. Why do I? I’m still processing how my one friend ghosted me. It still hurts me. But she’s not even thinking about it. Fuck you. You know things about me that I don’t share like that anymore. I know things about you too. And yet you couldn’t respond back to my texts? What made you stop? Is it bc I moved? Is it bc we don’t work tg anymore? I know I respond slow, and I know I have a weird dynamic with your gf, but why couldn’t you at least be like “hey I’m sorry I think we shouldn’t talk anymore?”

I still have her location. And she has mine. I think she literally forgot the next day lol I didn’t. We started sharing it after a Halloween party two and a half years ago. In the city. Bc of another coworker from my one retail job. I played bartender that night in soho for my one coworkers other job at this art studio, they were celebrating one of the cofounders birthday (it was between a gay couple that was nice). She was a graphic design intern for them. It was so cool and you came with me to support her. You kinda liked her lol I did too a little before, she was pretty and just a fun, positive and energy filled person. There weren’t any trains from Penn station when we left the party. I could’ve slept over there but I forget, i think I didn’t trust just openly sleeping in the same space as strangers and I didn’t wanna have it be a thing with my gf, so we sat at Penn for hours til 5am even though you could’ve left earlier in the night, just so I wouldn’t be alone. That was so nice of you. That was still in the beginning stages of our friendship. We used to go thrifting, or go to Marshall’s/tj maxx/home goods bc you know I’d bond with my family at those places and those places brought me comfort. You would open up to me about your sexuality and gender struggles during our shopping trips. I remember when you went into depth about that at goodwill. We were by the kids section. I had those struggles too when I was younger. We also gave each other Christmas gifts one year. That meant a lot to me. We would talk about lesbians that were big on YouTube/tumblr/IG back in the day (that was what we first really bonded on), stocks and crypto and video games and how we could start a reselling business from thrift finds. You became my work bestie at urban and started to help me heal some friendship wounds and work dynamic wounds/anxieties. My anxiety would prevent me from talking and making conversation. My mind would blank and I wouldn’t know how to relate to ppl without over analyzing my every movement and if I was coming off awkward or not to ppl. I was still fucking awkward but you saw through that and you were a little awkward too. You also had bad anxiety talking to anyone at that job for those first few months/first year. You were also my first legit wlw friend I made that I didn’t develop feelings for, so nothing like that could get in the way of our bond. I miss working with you and the others we became close to, I miss our inside jokes. I miss those days working there, that was a nice little time in my life.

I still have our texts. The past me just wants to look them over one more time. Maybe I could find where the friendship went wrong on my side. Maybe I could find where I didn’t acknowledge you in a way that made you wanna leave the friendship. Maybe I was too awkward (I still was at that point). Maybe my friendship would bring up weird fights between you and S. I’m sorry but I’m also not sorry. You know my friendship wounds!!! You have bpd and bipolar you know what it’s like to feel abandoned. You freaking Pisces! Aries moon scorpio rising. My gfs a Pisces and Aries moon too, my sister also having Aries moon, Scorpio rising. Why do I attract the same placements in my life😭 it’s so funny. I really love my fire x water combos, especially in big 3s/in their sun and moon.. Her number that would follow her was 27. After then, a number I see a lot now and is also important to me is 27 too. It roots back to her, and now it brings awareness to me. 2+7 = 9. There’s so many 27s in everything. It’s become one of the numbers that i see and I honor. That I take as a sign from my angels

Do I just delete everything? Delete you from socials? Is that ode of me to go out my way to delete you from my tiktok and IG? You’re always one of the first ones to look when I’d post a tiktok and yet never like them. Is it you or is it your gf lurking? I also finally found out about you two last year on Easter after you guys kept it a secret for that long ass time. I had to confront you as to why you lied to me for that past year or so and how I felt our friendship change the more you got closer to her. I know you were protecting her bc she wasn’t out yet, but wtf? I had to drag it out of you BC I SAW IT ON HER IG THATS PUBLIC. It was pics of you that didn’t show your face, but I know your silhouette. It was obviously you. I would always see you at her house from your location too before all that (I was triggered okay Ik it’s a little weird but I had a feeling there was something going on and why she was becoming more and more distant from me after a while). I would be thinking to myself “am I going crazy? Whats going on? Why is she moving away from our friendship to where we don’t hang out anymore?”

It hurts. This is why I don’t open up in friendships or I’m too scared to form close friendships. They can just leave so easily. There’s no set “breakup” usually. They can have less integrity about the situation bc there’s not really an obligation there. Why is ghosting so normalized? Why is disposing someone when it starts becoming inconvenient, the approach most ppl take? We live in a world with so many options. TOO many options. I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of caring so much or honoring people in ways I know they don’t care to honor me. I need to stop that. I will stop that. Whether it be relationships or friendships. Sometimes it just makes me not wanna be here anymore (I still will be here) but it’s so hard to be disappointed all the time. I know the whole “rejection is redirection” and “it’s a reflection of them not you” but it just happens so much, what am I supposed to make of it? I’m tempted to read back our messages one last time to honor them but why do I wanna be that person? To keep adding more salt to the wound yet again? Who does that? It makes no sense.

After this I never wanna think about her again. I’ll have to accept the waves that will inevitably still come. I can’t fight it bc it will just bottle up more. But after this entry, I need to not think of her anymore. I know she isn’t thinking of me. It’s fine! I’ll be fine

[bloodycassian]

darkness defined - 

az or cass x reader idk if this makes sense or not but here we go, either az or cas POV where reader (their mate) was stuck under the mountain with rhys and doesn’t come back bc she is still locked in the dungeons (rhys just assumed she died, he doesn’t know she is still alive)  Switch to readers POV, a few months later where they think their mate and their family (the night court) has abandoned them bc nobody ever came looking for her. Reader is like on the verge of death and uses her last energy to send a pulse down the bond. Switch back to az or cas POV  who are basically freaking out with guilt and anger and worried-ness. Im sorry it’s super long don’t feel pressured to write this anytime soon idk if it even makes sense  

DONT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SPECIFIC! I LOVE WORKING WITH THIS KIND OF STUFF PLEASE DO MORE LOL

Cassian was a wreck. From the moment Rhys came home alone, and until the end of time it seemed to be. Azriel sighed, watching his brother down his second bottle of alcohol. His eyes were red, face gaunt and pale. The circles under those tortured eyes looked more like bruises. 

He hadn't talked to Rhys much since the news came that you were gone. Cassian had practically blown the roof off the house of wind, then disappeared for two weeks. The only reason Rhys had let him was because Az followed, far behind just to make sure he wasn't going to do anything drastic. 

Azriel watched his brother circle the mountain, only to have to turn away. Wards made by Helion himself refused entry to anyone while the mountain was still being evacuated of Fae. He glared daggers at the people streaming outside the shield. His heart was a painful stab in his chest constantly. His mate.. gone. He refused to believe it. And Azriel saw the denial there, plain as day. 

Azriel had only stopped him once. When he packed a bag and started his flight to Hybern. He earned a black eye and a verbal lashing for that, but it had saved Cassian from going on a suicide mission.

After a month of being out, he went to his brother. Rhys refused to ask Helion to lower the shields around the Mountain, and finally Cassian seemed to give up. He would have gone to Helion himself, but the wards around his court prevented him from doing so. Rhys was torn up over the entire experience of under the mountain, but losing you was one of the worst parts. He would never forgive himself for losing his brother's mate. 

Azriel watch his brother's eyes get more and more dull. Watched the bottles stack up. Rhys wasn't around much, busy regaining control over his city, getting updated. And keeping an eye on Spring Court.  Cassian sighed when the bitter liquid hit his tongue. He drank like it was salvation. Like it would lead him back to you. Plus, it helped him sleep. It was the only time he could sleep without seeing you, without feeling that pull - the command his instincts gave. "Find me, find me. I'm here. I love you. Please."  He often escaped to the cabin. To not have to talk to anyone, and to keep Rhys from stealing his bottles from him. Cassian was convinced Rhys was saving them to drink for himself. That's where he found himself flying, bottle of booze in hand. The guilt a lead weight in his stomach. 

The door shut, and he finished the first bottle in an hour. 

Mor appeared beside him, took the second bottle from his hand and had a long drink herself. He smiled drunkenly, showing too many teeth at her. He wasn't sure if she was actually glowing or if it was his eyes squinting too much. "Cheers." He slurred, taking the bottle back and downing more.

+ The walls were getting drier and drier with each passing day. The once cool winds that would cut through the stone dungeons were turning softer, warmer. It was a welcome relief, but without the muddy water from the walls...you knew you didn't have much left. Your spirit was crushed, on top of it. Death seemed like not a terrible option anymore.  Especially knowing that your court - your friends - your family had left you. They had just... forgotten. Thrown you aside like nothing. Didn't even try to find you. Like the Winter court skeleton in the cell beside you, just left to die.

  You pushed the thoughts back, knowing that logically that wasn't true. But you couldnt come up with a reason why they would leave you down here. You prayed, you tried sending thoughts down the bond. Nothing worked. Sometimes your mind got the better of you, and you would rush to the bars of your prison cell when you thought you heard faint footsteps. 

Then you would hear your own voice echo back, and no one else.  Eventually you stopped getting up. You let the fantasies keep you entertained while you lay on the floor. Not caring about the bugs that crawled on you. You were glad there wasn't a mirror to see yourself in. A wave of dizziness crashed over you, and you fell into darkness. 

When the water ran dry, you stopped bothering calling out for Cassian. The bond was there, but saturated. Trying to grasp it was like trying to hold wind. You were too exhausted. So you propped yourself up in a corner and let the dizziness pull you under again for a moment. Taking rattling breaths, you let your mind wander to that mind bridge. That once sturdy marble that would always remind you of Cassian. 

You sent out a final tug down that bond. Using the last of your energy, you put all your effort into it. "I'm here, I always will be. I love you. I'm sorry." The platform you imagined your bond being seemed to go dark, and lifeless. Empty.

+ Cassian shot upright, head spinning. Mor was asleep beside him, her feet on the table. He shook her, trying to shake the stupor. "Wake up. Wake up!" She groaned, weakly batting him away. He took a breath, trying to steady himself. He wobbled to the kitchen, dunked his head in the cold sink water and slapped himself a few times. The haziness from his stupor crawled away, slowly. 

Mor appeared in the archway, rubbing her eyes.

"Get Rhys. I need you to winnow us." He demanded, patting her face softly. Her eyebrows knit together but she stretched, and sleepily obliged.  + You assumed the crackling was just your starved imagination. Again. But the wind changed as well, and you tried not to let your hopes up. You weakly opened your eyes, to the same familiar cell. A silent tear slid down your cheek.  Then there were the shuffling of footsteps again, and you hid your face in your hands. It seemed like all the imagination tricks were attacking at once. You wanted it to stop. You wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep until you could see and hold Cassian again. Voices, now.

The sweet deep voice of a man who spoke another language. An ancient language. Your ears rang. You cracked your eyes again, to a blinding white light. You held a hand in front of your face, trying to see behind it. 

A thud, and scrape of metal. Then the scent hit you. It was similar to what you had imagined but somehow a million times better. Then, his arms were around you. "Mother above." He breathed. You would have thought the mother took you at last if it wasnt for the pain in your gut.

"We got you honey, I'm so sorry. Im-" He tried to hold back a sob. You smiled weakly at the familiar, yet different eyes that you loved. The marble platform you shared seemed to be lighting up with happiness. At the same time, crumbling and falling with shame. Anguish. 

Rhys began winnowing the group immediately, nodding to Helion. The high lord gave him a melancholy smile back, and winnowed himself in a flash of light. He would check the rest of the mountain with his forces and repair the wards before he returned to his home. 

Everyone surrounded the healer, watching her work. Mor was trying to stay calm, but her hands shook when she held Amrens. Rhys and Azriel both had jaws clenched, shoulders tense. Watching the way Cassian's tears fell on to your shoulder as he cradled you. The healer squeezed  his arm softly, silently requesting him to move. He didn't.

Azriel went to his brother, wrapping an arm around him. "Your mate needs you to be strong, Cas." He consoled, pulling him away gently. Cassian held you tighter, just for a second then nodded and let go. He held your hand firmly. His warmth missing from your body was a shock. You began shivering. Amren tugged a blanket off the guest couch nearby and placed it over your legs. 

"T-thanks." you muttered. Her eyes widened, but she nodded. Her and Rhys glanced to each other. A silent conversation. You didnt care. 

"Cas?" You squeezed his hand, and there he was. His pale face looked ragged. He seemed like he was struggling in every sort of way. You didnt want to imagine what he was looking at when he looked at your features. You could practically feel your cheeks sinking in, your bones losing their density. "I missed you." You smiled, trying to lift his mood. 

His lips quivered, and he nodded. He kissed the back of your hand. "You wouldnt believe how much I missed you. All of us did." he glanced to Rhys. His face was blank, but that steady stream of power seemed to be crackling outside. 

You let your eyes drift to each of your friends. Each of their tear stained faces were such a welcome relief. Over a month alone, their presence alone was enough to soothe that part of you that doubted their love. 

Cassian kissed your forehead, before the healer's light knocked you into a peaceful sleep. 

[jiminrings]

hi!! can i request a drabble of new personaltrainer!jungkook training a pretty awkward (and kinda chubby/thicc..?) y/n and its super fluffy and aaaa,, i love your writing aaaa 🥺

cloud nine

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: y/n finally gives into jimin the gymbro’s thoughtful push, and jungkook is sO close to barking back to his chihuahua the moment he gets home :D // gif isn’t mine but look at it it’s so cRISPY!!!

notes: thank you sO much babie!! here you go :D

okay that’s iT!!

you totally need something new in your life

you need a change of pace or whatever that’s called

all the days you’ve been having are all blurring into the same one and it just makes you feel so stagnant

the only difference you could point out are the sleep shirts you wear and that’s ONLY if you don’t try to repeat wearing them

you now have a list of people you’re in awe of

people who genuinely and unironically consider friends the tv show as a cinematic masterpiece because nOAH FENCE how do they manage to get entertained by laugh tracks and the same skit over and over again

ok maybe your slander towards it increased because hoseok (the guy you have a sorta crush on) likes it and he leaves you on read and sometimes doesn’t even open your message and thEN you’d see his instagram stories and they’re all just???? friends???? what was the reason

and second, jimin!

jimin’s your best friend and that just makes you awed even more because you don’t even know how the two of you got close

jk it was when your friends forced you to come with them at this inflatable water park and you were sCARED and so he held your lifevest and was like

“hEY do you wanna take this in the same pace that i’m doing it?? tbh i just wanna get back to my mimosas but my friends paid too expensively for this”

<3 he has been the guardian of your heart since <3

jimin’s just so well-paced and organized and knows how to have his fun that his daily life doesn’t seem like a mindless routine

you are actively YEARNING for that kind of lifestyle

and right now it just seems like the stars are aligning for you and are practically made for your existence alone!!

jimin’s a gymbro

he is the living breathing talking definition of gymbro and gymrat and gymgod or whatever it is

.....

.......

.... gymin if u will ....

okAy then

but he wasn’t the aggressive type of gymbro, not at all!

he’s a total natural!!

like he’s ripped but not excessively and exaggeratedly ripped

he doesn’t flex but the muscle definition and the physique are just wHew exquisite!!

he doesn’t talk in protein powder lingo but you aren’t surprised to see a giant jug of it inside his cupboard!!! after all he’s proud to say that it’s practically all-skill!!!

and to top it off.,.,

:D

okay so jimin takes off his shirt right

the two of you are neighbors and you often come into each other’s places and it feels like home too

and you aren’t complaining!! you know that he runs a little hot that normal and you wouldn’t want him overheating

but he has this large tattoo on his rib that reads nevermind and it’s so cOOL and it just makes the gears in your head go creak creak because aha your best friend is the blueprint huh

you’re not surprised!! you really aren’t!!

after all, why would you be surprised out of all the things above when you already know that he owns a goddamn GYM??

the only regret that you have is not meeting him sooner :((

yeah sure pjm athletics does have a nice ring to it bUT WHAT ABOUT PARK’S GYMIN

you’ve always been.,., a lil curious ok

i mean your goddamn friend is the ownEr of a really well-known and well-praised gym!! how could you not??

you don’t wanna mooch off from him though no matter how much he offers you free classes and stuff

he always brings you home extra merch and energy drinks that you’re sure you can now have a tap for gatorade

he’s not dENSE!! he sees how you look at him whenever he does push-ups on your floor or when he does planks like no big deal

there’s this thought at the back of your head that y’know..,., what if THIS was the thing that’s gonna be your change of pace

lmao you’re looking for hardship basically

jimin’s finally had it when you sigh for the eleventh time while he’s doing pull-ups

you want to spend your own money and he knows you won’t accept any of his offers!!

that’s it he needs to be smart about this!!!

“woah jimin holy sHIT you’re having a 50% off your membership??? and it comes with a trainer too??? are you serious right now???”

:)))

he can now sleep in peace knowing his editing job for this flyer has paid off and he’s passed the “y/n’s not believing me” stage :))

if it wasn’t established enough there really isn’t a sale lol

here you are then,.,.

wearing workout leggings that jimin deemed to be reAlly great and it made quite a hefty dent in your wallet but you trust his judgement so ok

you’re not in the mood to wear anything besides jimin’s black dri-fit shirt because you really don’t wanna attract attention as the newbie

this is good!! you now have a gym membership AND a personal trainer!!

you dON’T exactly need them but you feel you just do y’know!! there’s no harm in trying :D

you didn’t want jimin to be your personal trainer and he basically sULKED for a whole week

it’s not a him problem!! it’s a you problem!!!

you know that it’s a given that the trainers shOuld be excellently to a degree to actually train someone else

but it’s now dawning in you that HE’S the owner and he’s so intimidatingly good!!! you would look like a raw egg that’s just dumped haphazardly into a pot and he’s the perfectly-boiled egg :((

oh my god

jungkook feels like he’s gonna throw up with how nervous he is

it’s his first day as a personal trainer!! :D

he’s half-excited and half-terrified because holy shit fIRST of all this gym was hard to apply to in the first place

everyone’s flocking it because:

a) it’s really great

b) even greater benefits for the employees

c) the pay is hUGE

d) the equipment?? the morals?? the testimonials?? the owner?? the whole thing??? FANTASTIC

and second omg jungkook won’t admit it to anyone but uHm he’s kinda scared ok

he’s not the type of person that’s comfortable with ordering people around??? even if that’s technically his job???

like what if his first-ever client is a guy like jason momoa and that guy’s a fucking UNIT for sure

imagine hIM telling jASON MOMOA to give him three sets x twenty reps of push-ups

g-gulp

“or i can do it for you, i-if you want?”

he’s bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet and swinging his arms around forward and backward to make them clap quietly

“there, you’re all set!! i already filled up all the forms for you the moment i gave you the flyer!!”

“but-“

“your trainer’s... not me. but he’s uh, what’s his name again, jungkook!! what does he look like again — oh right!! i remember!!”

“jimin-“

“he should be the guy with the big doe eyes!! has a lot of dangly earrings!! if he’s not wearing a sweater then he should be the one who has some tattoos!!”

“no jimin-“

“off you go!! i’ll be bouncing around but i’ll keep an eye on you, don’t worry!! okay now go and i’ll let you have a sip of my gatorade even if we have the same drink :D”

.....

whew

there goes nothing then

you’re about to keep your duffel bag close as a reason to stall to getting to the locker room but jimin’s already one step ahead and snatched it from you

you didn’t even get your towel :((

it had a little blue cloud embroidered at the middle of it and it’s your Emotional Support Towel by default

you’re kinda nervous since there’s some pairs of eyes on you because after all they just saw you have the most carefree conversation with the owner they’re a lil scared to talk to

you’re wringing your hands together as you try to spot this jungkook with jimin’s descriptions and-

oh

oH

O H

jungkook looks so ????

wow?????

he’s gorgeous like that is nOt up for debate

he looks so fresh?? effortless?? handsome???

jungkook looks like he smells like baby powder and freshly-washed sheets

the baby powder that you’re tempted to snORt because it smells so good which was the one you’d put on your chest bc boob sweat and to prevent ur thighs chafing

he had to do a double-take on you because the first time he glanced at this walking person he immediately shut down

like when something looks sO pretty that you have to look away for a second because you literally can’t take it

oR like when you have this favorite scene of a movie and you have to physically pause it before rewinding and doing that for another six times

“are you perhaps jungkook?? because i’m not surE and-...”

“jungkook i am. i-i aM jeon jungkook!! yes, right, jungkook!!!!!”

holy fuck he’s stopped working

your mouth’s a little parted because you didn’t expect him to go on that lil spiel cLEARLY but omg he’s adorable!!!

if he could punch himself he really would

it’s taking him a second to regroup but you take the initiative to introduce yourself :D

“i’m y/n! you’re my trainer from what they told me :))”

you’re a lil more awkward when it comes to social interactions like these but it looks like you’re acing it when put in front of jungkook

the both of you shake hands and then immediately put it behind your back because wow u just shook the pretty boy’s hand AND it’s not even 8 in the morning yet!!

you haven’t even started the workout portion yet but ur already on fire

( jimin’s looking at the security footage and even HE’S blushing from the secondhand embarrassment jungkook’s brough oh my god )

(( jimin suddenly wishes he could unlearn reading people’s lips ))

“so, what brought you here?”

it’s jungkook who asks but he alsO wants to answer himself to say it’s fate aha :D

he’s getting you to stretches and he’s doing them with you!!

“to be honest?? well there was like a fIFTY percent discount but you already know all of that”

wait

what now

“a sale? what-...”

there’s an abrupt noise that goes through the whole gym and it makes the both of you flinch and you even yelP

if you see jimin lifting a 100lbs barbell only to throw it down and cut off jungkook from speaking THEN MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

“you okay?”

jungkook asks you quietly and taps your shoulder and you’re about to faint right then and there of how you met like then minutes ago and he’s cONCERNED

the focus on today was flexibility plus easing you into working out!!!

stretches are the next best thing to working out and it’s a win-win combo bc you’re flexible aND you’re basically exerting effort = kind of a workout apparently

the bit of reaching your toes then doing a downward dog and the upward-facing dog right after to hear that satisfying grunt of your joints is a LITTLE awkward because jungkook’s looking at you

jungkook wants to look away but in the same time he can’t will himself to

one because he’s a young wide-eyed attracted man and twO he’s the trainer omg he needs to look at you!!!

“o-okay! just a set of jack jum — jUMPING JACKS!!! jumping jacks and we could start :)))”

no one told you.,.,.

no one told you where you should look when you’re doing jumping jacks

you can’t look downwards because that’ll throw you off and you can’t look up either because why?? what??? WHO are you seeking up there????

looking straight ahead is kinda awkward

the safe answer was everywhere at once according to you

you sneak a look at jungkook and you almost choke in your own spit with how handsome he still looks

you’re not gonna cope up with that fact probably ever

jungkook’s feeling a lil sweaty now because uHm he shouldn’t really be doing this with you technically

it’s usually a trainer doing it with you for like the first five reps and then letting you do it alone for the rest

but nO he’s doing this with you he doesn’t mind :D

he could feel a bead of sweat by his sideburns and he’s screaming internally to gO the fuck back where it came from

he wants to tear off his hoodie but he doesn’t know if he should since he doesn’t have a shirt underneath!!!

being shirtless to the gym isn’t new but you’re with him and nOW he feels nervous

honestly jungkook would rather overheat than to make you feel uncomfortable

news flash: you want to curl up into a ball and cry about thinking how you’d be sore the next day

you r about to give out and tear up a little bit because fuck this is nOT an introductory workout

you also don’t want to look like a wimp in front of jungkook because that is not a good look for your pride and you’d feel embarrassed for eternity

just two more to go!!

honestly fUCK fire hydrants!!! 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕊?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖???? 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠 𝕒𝕊𝕊!!!

you raise your head because you’re getting dizzy looking down

jungkook’s looking at you and he sees you looking at him and it dOESN’T help the way you look right now

with you sweaty and grumbling under your breath and ur baby hair all over the place and ur eyes unfocused and fix at the same time a-and ur lips parted and-

JESUS LINE UP AT THE DMV RIGHT NOW TAKE THE WHEEL

jungkook’s so nervous and flustered that his limp actually trembles with how hot his cheeks are and he’s rambling out of nowhere

“fire hydrants amirite??? most certainly inspired by dogs and stuff because cooky, my chihuahua, does exactly that when he pees and-...”

THERE’S THAT LOUD BARBELL CLANGING AGAIN

oh my god he should not have said that

jungkook’s beyond mortified wHY DID HE SAY THAT

you look speechless and you aRE

you’re just nodding at him with a tight-lipped smile and if he knows better that’s because you’re so spent and a little light-headed and less off from his nervous rambling

planks,,, just planks,,, the final bit of it all

you don’t wanna get dizzy at the last stretch so you’re trying your best to not pay attention to the blood rushing to ur head

jungkook’s so distracted with his thoughts that he wordlessly adjusts you

lifts up your core while adjusting your feet closer before pressing his hand to your back and-

aHA FUCK

you now feel like you can run a marathon right after that

jungkook now feels like he can compete in a twenty-hour triathlon

he’s praising you to no end that you did sOOOO good!!! you really did!!!!

meanwhile your face is hot not only from that but also because you’ve endured hardship that felt like hours <3

you’re breathlessly laughing because wHEW you really did do that and wow you’re proud of yourself!!!! it’s not even 10 in the morning!!!

there’s a towel that’s gently patting your face section by section

:)

“you uhm, you didn’t have a towel with you so-“

jungkook pats at your neck to your nape and that’s when it hits that o-OH right i’ll leave you to that

you take the towel with a grin you’re fighting so hard and that’s when you realize that it’s not just a random gym one

but rather it was jungkook’s himself because it’s the same clean one he had in his hands awhile ago!!

you can smell him on it and you make sure to pat your face extra dry because you wouldn’t want to get your face sweaty now would you :D his perfume’s just a bonus, right :D

shouldn’t trainers be the cold and straight to the point ones and immediately leave right after you’re all done????

..... inch resting

“oh my gOD — mr. jimin sir-nim min jimin-nIM!!”

jungkook has the fright of his life when his boss appears from nowhere by his side

jimin laughs at how frazzled this guy is lmao but anyways he came here for you (as if he hasn’t been supervising from afar the whole time)

“want me to give you a ride home or?”

kook’s a little lost and he might just cry as he starts to think that oh wait a second are you guys-

“he’s my best friend.”

you whisper under your breath towards him and he unknowingly sighs in relief

“well did you get here using your jeep or your vespa???”

jimin has this jeep he passionately calls chimmy the jeep and he has a knack for naming things with a ring on it ok

and the other was a cream-colored vespa he bought like six months ago

he learned how to ride the bike a year ago and he was immediately let’s get this to the next level idc i’m getting a vESPA!!!

you have an iRRATIONAL fear of vespas

you’re okay with big bikes and regular motorcycles!!! in fact you find them less threatening than jimin’s motorcycle

the little wheels scare you and it’s just so??? it looks so bite-sized wHY does it look like that???? it looks like you could breathe an extra breath to your right and the vespa would steer to the right

ugh you hate his motorcycle sO bad

“well don’t you hAte public transport when you’re tired and all that???”

yikes you did

it’s true!! you’d call him to pick you up because the bus ride hits harder when you’ve had a long day and u feel every bump in the road possible

“i have a big bike!”

jungkook chimes in and he even raises his hand and that’s when he shuts up when he realizes his mistake

“no one asked mhmm i’m sorry jimin-nim sir hYung-nim”

your eyes widen as it sinks in you that oh my god he mIGHT be as into you as you are with him and that’s so ???? that’s such a heartwarming concept you can’t believe

jungkook has the same big brain moment and he takes your widened eyes as a signal to keep talking

“i have TWO helmets! but uhm one of them is for kooky and he’s a chihuahua, wait i already said that, so that means it’s just a tINY helmet i ordered from amazon but it’s okAy i can wear it!!! b-but i’m not forcing you or anything that i should take you home o-or no offense to mr. jimin-nim sir i am NOT underestimating you or-“

surprisingly, jimin doesn’t hate the idea of you and jungkook

ah he should probably adopt a dog and name them jupiter or sth,,, you and koo look like you’re gonna end up anyways

“okay. just bring her home in one piece.”

he’s oddly calm and that also makes YOU confused

jungkook isn’t confused however because the moment you turn, jimin mouths to him in korean and the rough translation was hurt her and i’ll kill you :D

you nodded your head and that meant he’s iNDEED taking you bome

he starts throwing things in his duffel bag (and he should still be in the gym but jimin jus gave him a free pass) and he’s wordlessly carrying yours too!!

he could feel your fist holding the back of his hoodie and jungkook just feels at peace :’’’)

wearing a ridiculous miniature helmet for dogs on top of his head that won’t do shit is tOTALLY worth it

[mononyann]

a while back people requested that i share some of my headcanons for certain bnha characters, so here's some of the characters that i did

Shota Aizawa

- he absolutely has at LEAST 3 cats, he spoils the heck out of them too. that's why he's always eating those gel packs... he spends too much on his cats.

- he really does love his class. and we all know honey??? u haven't expelled any of them. ur soft for them ok.

- he likes to sleep with his cats bc he gets lonely at night... he will not admit it, but he likes having someone/something there :)

- he has reuccuring nightmares about the usj attack and how he could have failed to save his students

- has a very low alcohol tolerance and often ends up getting dragged back to his apartment by mic or midnight when they go out whilst he rambles and whines the entire time

- he hates crying and tries his best to keep his emotions held in, he's only cried in front of a select few people

- he tries not to let others opinions on him rule his life and tends to block it out if someone hates him

- he doesn't know it, but he is the entirety of class 1-a's dad.

- he really likes tea, and dislikes sweets

- as you would expect, he takes his coffee black

Hanta Sero

- he really likes kpop! he stans multiple groups and really wants to attend a concert

- though he seems really chill on the outside, he's actually quite sensitive and has some self confidence issues

- he loves being around people and finds that he gets his energy from being around those he loves

- definitely into e-boy fashion, and he is open about it

- pierced his own ears at 3 am and called kaminari crying about how he screwed it up

- he actually likes to draw a lot in his free time, it's very relaxing. he puts on some nice low-fi music and draws for hours

- he hasn't had many crushes in his life and doesn't find romance to be a big issue currently, but he's open to anything

- accidentally taped his hamster to the ceiling in 2nd grade, he didn't mean to and cried for hours (the hamster was ok)

Nemuri Kayama

- she is a BRO, she likes to crack a cold one open with the boys on the weekends

- she is bisexual and thinks everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways

- most likely talks shit about her coworkers to her classes

- she thinks children are adorable and loves them, often scaring them with her enthusiasm

- very touchy, she loves hugs and will probably not pass up a chance to use you as an armrest if she has the chance

- she secretly worries about aizawa a lot and is scared that he lets the past effect him too much

- did you guys know she has a cat?!

- i like to think she and mic are like... EPIC bros, she loves to paint his nails and do his hair while gossiping with him (aizawa would NEVER let her do this to him lmao)

- she isn't a mom, but finds the idea of having her own children very nice, for now having a cat will suffice

- she enjoys trying to make all might flustered, she thinks his reactions to things are always very cute and funny (it's all in good fun!)

- she's the mom friend! though she may seem very sexual, which she undoubtedly is, she is also very caring and has a very nuturing motherly personality, she's a lot more than just fanservice !!!!!

Todoroki Shoto

- completely oblivious when it comes to love... he doesn't even understand his own crushes

- "of course you can borrow my credit card uraraka" *pulls out endeavors card which he sneakily took*

- would be the person to tell a child that their pet guinea pig didn't go to heaven and be confused when they start sobbing... like "what... don't be honest?"

- allows his friends to huddle up to his warm side when they are cold

- is confused when people show him copious amounts of love and affection

- he would beat up anyone if they tried to do ANYTHING bad to midoriya

- he wants more friends. he really is enjoying meeting new people and having some new friends at ua!

- he gives really good hugs, he doesn't try to hug you too tight, but he doesn't half ass it either, very nice and warm

- he hates his scar. like. a lot. he wants to cover it up so bad but it just doesn't work. he's afraid it'll make other people scared of him.

Shinsou Hitoshi

- loves patd! and fall out boy, a brendon urie STAN

- loves to kiss his kitties on the forehead but dreads human interaction

- he loves to squish his cats' toebeans... he takes pictures of them and posts them to his secret cat social media acc

- he is gay but doesn't know how to feel about it and/or come out, he's really nervous and doesn't trust people to accept him

- he doesn't smile often but when he does it's the cutest thing ever

- he secretly really likes deku and kaminari and is hesitant about accepting their friendship, but appreciates the gestures a lot

- he suffers with social anxiety and doesn't really know how to make friends very well??? like, in middle school people were total dickbags to him so he kinda just closed himself off and decided he was gonna like... not make friends, but now that there's nice people around him he just kind of- doesn't know how

- this is actually canon! but he feels guilty about having to manipulate people when he uses his quirk, during the 4th school briefs book he feels guilty when he overhears midoriya and ojiro talking about him using his quirk during the sports festival, and he's like "i wish ojiro would say something rude about me to show he's angry so i wouldn't have to feel so guilty about this" since ojiro showed no ill feelings towards him

Izuku Midoriya

- "hold on I'll go get a blanket!" *opens closet* *thousands of all might figurines tumble out*

- watches cat vine compilations until 2 am, than freaks out when he realizes it is 2 am

- very good with children!

- used to be very self conscious about his freckles bc of bakugou insulting them; hid them with concealer for a while until someone told him they were beautiful

- loves his momma so muchhh he would do anything for her, he likes to surprise her with small favors to see her happy

- does not understand the concept of letting people handle their own problems

- stays after to class to offer his teachers help

- he has a lot of self doubts and is still struggling to this day to come to terms with the fact that he is worthy of having one for all

- he wants to learn how to cook for his mom and friends

Kyoka Jirou

- she is a lesbian!!!!! she has a crush on momo but is completely convinced that it's unrequited

- struggled with judgmental kids in middle school because of her sexual identity and style

- gets very easily flustered by anyone complimenting her

- that one person sitting at the back of the bus with their earbuds blasting full volume

- was a GOD at guitar hero

- acts like she's fed up with kaminari's (which she can be sometimes), but truly he's one of the people she can trust the most. she secretly appreciates the way he hypes up her talents and how he really helps her through the day sometimes!

- she loves heroes so much... when she was a little girl and didn't know what to do she'd ask herself "what would my favorite heroes do!?"

- she also secretly buys hero merch but hides it in fear of her being seen as sappy

Amajiki Tamaki

- would have trouble standing up for himself but if he sees ANYONE messing with mirio he WILL throw hands

- likes to watch bob ross videos when hes feeling anxious

- he once went to a butterfly museum with his parents and cried out of joy when one landed on his nose

- leaves food out for strays in his neighborhood, ends up attracting an entire hoard of animals.

- he can paint very nicely, he began to paint after he discovered bob ross

- mirio then saw his paintings and showed the entire class to tamaki's dismay, but everyone absolutely LOVED them!!!

- every day he becomes more and more capable and sure of himself, he is still very anxious, but he's learning to open up and embrace his talents <3

- he really loves to listen to music and any time he's not around others he'll probably have earbuds in, gently swaying back and forth to whatever he has on

- nejire loves to try out new hairstyles on him, and strangely enough, tamaki lets her, he loves it when people play with his hair

Shirakumo Oboro

- shares one collective braincell with mic

- that one person that brings EVERYONE valentine treats on valentines day at school

- most likely plays ding dong ditch

- *draws stick figure* "ah yes. just like van goh" (he cannot draw)

- hates to see his friends (and even random strangers upset) and will go out of his way to do dumb things to make them smile

- probably played soccer

- he's a massive flirt and likes to believe he will become a stereotypical anime protagonist with a massive harem

- he really wants to see aizawa come out of his shell more and tries his best to encourage him to see the best in everything

- he has most likely worn a schoolgirl uniform to class once

- he's very affectionate and loves to hug his friends (even if they don't want hugs), it's his way of showing he likes people

Hizashi Yamada

- he lives off of caffeine. he is a teacher, pro hero, and radio show host, im honestly not sure how he does it

- gives out stickers when students get the correct answer in class and has class parties when they are well behaved for the semester

- just like everyone else, he has his own turmoil as well, he likes to stay busy because it prevents him from having a lot of time to dwell on the past

- he gives really good hugs, and loves to feel the touch of others, it's very comforting to him

- was probably pretty troublesome when he was very young while he learned to get control of his quirk

- overall a really happy and excitable guy, he loves being the center of attention and if he can make people happy by being what he is, that's awesome!

- he shows his appreciation for people in odd ways, but he always means good, even if his wild antics can be a bit stressful lol

- he likes to sing a lot and does it a bunch when he's alone, he can also play a lot of instruments

- he can be very serious if needed, he does often put on a persona when he's present mic

- when he's hizashi (out of hero persona) he's even more of a dork than usual, very goofy, awkward and pouty. a manchild.

OK so I reached my image limit, if u guys wanna see the rest I might post some more later PLUS feel free to request some in my asks, I don't really know how all that stuff works bc I'm kinda new to Tumblr but ILL FIGURE IT OUT

[sparrow-ink]

covid diaries aka memoirs of the plague

trying to keep my thoughts organized and coherent has been a bitch recently, so i’m going to try to put them down more or less in order here and see where we end up. this is going to be heavy on personal covid content and might get long, so please skip if either distresses you.

so last tues, the uh... 24th i guess, i started feeling ill. mostly like allergies plus a bad headache. i had a feeling i was getting sick but didn’t want to alarm my spouse or housemate/best friend, so stuck with ‘could very well be allergies and dehydration.’ also it very well could have been, and it was very reassuring for us all to tell each other that. my company had already moved the majority of employees to work-from-home, including me, so i already wasn’t going to come into contact with anyone outside my home.

symptoms got worse over the next few days, congestion, headache, feeling feverish, cough started up. we didn’t own a thermometer, and my spouse and housemate tried every wal-mart, wal-greens, target, etc to find one. housemate said at one place they laughed at her when she asked if they had any. i tried ordering one on amazon with no luck. either they were $90+, out of stock, or not shipping until may. i settled on ordering on for shipment in may. the seller messaged me the next day and said they couldn’t fulfill the order and asked to cancel it.

from our last costco trip we had already (unintentionally) gotten stocked up on toilet paper, snacks, and some dry goods. at some point before I got sick, spouse and I bought a bag of rice and bag of potatoes, because I intermittently try to do mealprepping and seemed being stuck at home would be a good time to try again, what with national and state-wide states of emergency being declared. also seemed good to have them in supply. and we were still stocked up on cold and flu medecine from when i got bronchitis mid-dec to mid-jan. so we were/are pretty well-stocked on essentials? that was reassuring, as i was obviously, noticeably sick by last friday.

i was hoping i would get better over the weekend but i did not. still couldn’t find a thermometer anywhere. governor had issued the state-wide stay-at-home order on uh...thurs? weds? but already being sick, and already working from home, and not going out, it didn’t really affect me much?

i feel like i should mention at this point that since the state of emergency was declared and we started to transition to working from home, i’d been trying to ration my social media (tumblr/twitter/insta) time for my sanity. but also not having information makes me feel helpless, so i had the CDC covid page up and checked every day. and then the colorado state covid page too. seeing the numbers of confirmed cases double, and triple, from week to week was... hm.

also one of my younger siblings moved from colorado to arizona at the start of march, and presumably lost their phone because i haven’t heard from them since despite poking. that hasn’t been concerning during a global pandemic. not at all. they’re probably not dead. i mean, you’d think a bitch could call their older sibling to let them know they’re not dead, but whatever. i’m sure they’re fine. probably. anyway.

where was i. so by the weekend i was Not Feeling Well At All Actually. my cough had become “scary.” my housemate did all the dishes in the kitchen despite not being responsible for most of them. i felt, and sounded, disgusting.

i checked the covid testing requirements again, and basically found that in colorado you had to be dying to be tested for covid. cool.

monday rolled around, still not better. i ended up having work computer issues (their end, not mine) where i basically ended up laying on the couch in my office while IT did IT things. a blessing. i slogged through the rest of the day. just felt like i wasn’t tracking well, couldn’t focus on shit. that evening while watching shows with husbeast & housemate, i had a truly uncontrollable coughing spasm/fit that seemed to just go on. could barely talk without coughing. i coughed all night. i basically didn’t sleep.

tuesday morning i woke up, and started coughing again. i could hear a crackle echo up my throat when i breathed if i was in the right position. i sat up to try and get my breath. i think it was like 6 am. spouse creature (already awake from my coughing) gently rubbed my back. i started crying. i just wanted to sleep, and i couldn’t sleep, and i couldn’t stop coughing, and i felt like i could barely breathe, and things just hurt, and i couldn’t think straight. i felt so... defeated. i think it freaked out the spouse creature. i usually only cry during children’s movies.

i took the day off of work. i hadn’t taken a day yet because i was already working from home, and it was the end of the month which is the busiest for my team, and my boss had said last week that if i felt i could work, they needed me. by tuesday morning i was out of energy and also fucks. i got in the queue for a teladoc appointment. per the CDC and colorado covid websites, telehealth visits are to be the first option in order to help prevent the spread, etc. also i would have done teladoc anyway bc i don’t have a PCP.

it took a few hours to get connected with a doctor. i think i started coughing while he did his intro thing. he basically said, well i think i know what you’re calling about, but why don’t you tell me. i told him. and coughed some more. he said my symptoms are consistent with covid, and in a perfect world they’d be able to get me in for rapid testing, but they couldn’t. that basically people are only getting tested at this point who are getting admitted to the hospital. some people were able to access testing through their PCPs but even that was drying up. he advised me to self-isolate (already on it lol) and for my household to self-quarantine for at least two weeks from when i started showing symptoms. and i could un-self-isolate once the majority of my symptoms calmed down AND when i didn’t have a fever for three days straight with no meds. he prescribed me an inhaler and a cough suppressant pill, though he said the cough suppressant might not do much since it didn’t seem to be working for anyone else with similar.

husbeast had run out to get some more supplies by the time i got on the vidcall with the doc, mostly liquids and electrolytes. he went back out once i gave him the rundown, to fill my prescription and get me the good costco chicken soup once they were open. he also, miracle of miracles, managed to find and buy a temporal thermometer at costco for like $45 i think. a true champion. my temp seemed to be fine in the afternoon, a touch above normal but fine. i’m not actually sure what my personal base temperature is. i should also say that i’d been consistently taking dayquil and sudafed since the previous weds.

that evening my temp started to go up. and up. or at least i think it was tuesday night. maybe it was weds? freaked out spouse, i got up to 102 F even with sudafed and additional acetaminophen. i basically had a fever from tues through this morning (friday), while taking pills like clockwork. always seemed to get worse in the afternoon/evening and be better in the morning. today at least it’s stayed below 100F, even mostly below 99F.

the cough and difficulty breathing has been the worst part. i have delicate baby lungs to begin with, and i have allergies and a history of childhood asthma. so i’m already paranoid about my breathing even with a normal cold. but to hear that i would have to immediately proceed to emergency services should my symptoms progress to: can only get a few words out, can’t stand up or walk across the room, can’t maintain conciousness, to hear that was... something. because then it’s basically like, okay, if I get pneumonia and my lungs are filling up, then i can go see a doctor in person. cool. and i know it says on the websites that there’s no approved treatment for coronavirus, that treatment for less severe cases will be the same at home as it would be in person, but shit. i woke up so many times last night feeling like i was fighting for air, waking up because i was coughing so hard i had to sit up all the way to breathe, and i kept thinking, what if i just stop breathing in my sleep? not like i would notice, right?

it’s been scary. i’ve been trying not to freak out my people with more crying and whatnot, but i’ve already got anxiety and this shit aint helping. i’m trying to stay relatively calm and not make them deal with me losing my shit on top of already taking care of me and bringing me soup and water and pills and asking what they can do for me. i’m tired of being sick. i want a new pair of lungs. i want to not feel like i’ve been hit by a truck. my ribs hurt from coughing so much. my chest hurts. my whole body aches. the headache keeps coming and going. i can’t stop fucking coughing. i don’t want to die, i just want to maybe go into a coma and wake up when this is all over. once the line of dump trucks has stopped running me over.

and i’m just so mad at the lack of preparedness in the US. i’m so pissed that i can’t even get tested, i can’t know for sure what the fuck is happening to me. i’m so mad that the cheeto is president during this. i hate this fucking timeline. i hate that we don’t even have clear numbers on cases because of mismanagement. i hate that i keep feeling like i’m about to throw up because i’m coughing so fucking hard. real fucking reassuring to know that the symptoms i’ve been told to watch for, to know that i need to go to the hospital, are the same ones that constitute an emergency and would mean that i would basically have to be rushed there. wearing a facemask if we can find one.

ugh. the other worst part is that i haven’t even been really coherent enough to write. and i’ve only been able to settle on a few things to read and watch. being sick makes me picky and like, impossible to please. so i’m spoiled for choice with 4+ streaming services, but nothing sounds good. and my people are working from home, but they’re still working. they can’t spend all their time with me. i’m bored, and everything is garbage, and there are only so many times i can rewatch the princess bride. i have been napping quite a lot, but even that doesn’t take all day.

maybe i’ll write some crackfic. then it doesn’t have to be coherent. and it would be in the spirit of covid to write some real absurd shit i think.

anyway. i might delete this later. i feel better for getting events put down and venting.  also i apologize, i have no idea how to do a readmore cut on tumblr anymore.

[lunebinnie]

(1/14)I am so sorry for taking so long! (I also had to spend a lot of time studying this week bc I had my first exam for my Anatomy Lab on Wednesday... And then we had our first exam for *Lecture* Thursday (which also was the day I had a bunch of powerpoints due for my very intimidating adviser...) and then I had to substitute teach all day Friday (and then I meant to respond sooner but I got so busy 😭) so yeah I completely understand about school getting in the way no worries abt it!)

And also sleeping in on a day off when you’ve been busy studying lately is completely valid hon 👌 I hope that your midterms go well and that you’re able to stay healthy and take care of yourself in the midst of preparing! (not that you wouldn’t, I just have a bad habit of neglecting things like healthy sleeping and eating habits when I get caught up studying, so hopefully you’re not like me in that way) And yeah me too! I mean on the one hand I understand *why* they have that limit

3)If u could just send as many as u want there would be so much more spam and ppl would definitely abuse that. But also?? Um? I have a chronic condition called ‘Can'tShuttheFuckUp-itis’? 🤷 This policy is so discriminatory towards people like me who suffer from this crippling condition! I feel oppressed honestly 🙄 tumblr rlly has something against ppl just trying to get to know each other huh? Lol, but at least now we know why it eats them I’ll be sure to try to prevent that in the future

4)And oh my gosh that’s so cool! I’m super jealous!! 😮 lol. I wish they hosted kpop nights at my local bar! 😭😭 But no, I’m here at my little state college in a little 2 mi2 town just under pop 5500 (and idek if that’s before or after counting college students) in the middle of the 'farm zone’ of my state. All we get is country night @Riley’s 😩 RIP. But ya I wish I had more ppl around me who were into kpop! So far I’ve only met 3 ppl who listen to it. One was that roommate I told you about

5)One is just a casual listener who isn’t really into 3rd gen groups and mostly just listens to Girl’s Generation but that’s valid, and one isn’t even rlly a fan of any groups in particular, she just puts the kpop station on when she studies bc she says she needs music but if it’s in English she gets distracted, lol And omg that is insane! $500?? And 5 copies of the same album? 😲 (Says the girl who’s been a Monbebe for a hot 2 months and has already bought three (3??) Monsta X T-shirts… 😂

6)in my defense tho one of them was only $10 bc it was Black Friday? And u can’t blame me, Hot Topic is my krypotonite lmao) but yeah I already feel guilty about spending 30+ dollars on one copy of an album (thx international shipping) That’s so wild. And yeah I don’t get why ppl feel the need go out of their way just to insult other ppl’s music taste. I’m also pretty self conscious abt sharing my music taste and obviously the way everyone around me talks abt kpop has made me even moreso now 🙃

7) I haven’t gotten into too many groups yet bc I’m trying to go slowly and focus on getting into one group at a time but I do have a long list of groups I plan on getting into eventually! NU'EST is one that I’ve heard some of their songs on my Spotify based on my listening history and they’re on the list haha 😂 And omg I feel really similarly about Got7! I tried to get into them after I got into Monsta X and right before I got into Astro and although I did really like some of their songs

8)I haven’t really been able to get into their music as much as MX and Astro’s yet. I do think they seem like a really fun group in terms of personality though. As for the comeback I know right?? I mean I know a lot of ppl were freaking out abt the comeback being a 'sexy’ and how it wasn’t gonna be the same cute Astro we all love anymore. But they filled the MV with flowers and glitter and still managed to make it sexy as fuck! This album has a very different vibe but it still felt like them

9) They managed to pull off a more mature and sexy concept while still staying true to themselves and I’m so here for it! I don’t know if I could really pick a favorite era because I love them all! I mean Spring Up was an excellent era and every era since then has been great. They really don’t know how to have any bad concepts or make any bad songs huh? Lol. Since I’m still pretty new I really love the title tracks since I’ve heard them the most. (I have listened to their full discography

10)But I haven’t listened to their Bsides enough to pick out my favorites from those) I also really love Again though! The first time I saw the dance practice I was super into it and then I looked up the lyrics and was like 'this is supposed to be sad/regretful song it has no reason to be this much of a BOP?!’ 😂 I have such a hard time picking favorites though. Since All Light is new though I actually have listened to it enough times to pick some 'non-title song favorites’ from there haha

11) Other than All Night (which is great, obvi) I also really like Starry Sky, Moonwalk and Role Play 😂 and Bloom is so pretty oh my god! 😭😭 the album is great and has no bad songs but those are the ones I particularly like. I feel u about the dances honestly. I think that’s actually what drew me to kpop initially. I mean I like listening to the songs ofc but it wasn’t until after I actually watched an MV/saw the choreography that I actually was like… Oh shit I’m gonna have to be a fan now

12) It was the visual aspect that really made me want to be a kpop fan bc I haven’t really seen that level of performance with any western music. Which isn’t to say I think all western music is bad but I think it’s really impressive to watch kpop groups singing and also doing really impressive choreography and performing at the same time. Plus that’s the part I can show my family and say 'even if you don’t like the music because of the language barrier you have to admit they’re talented dancers’

13)And yes! With Astro especially I think the dance practices rlly succinctly capture the reason why I love them so much. They are *super* talented but they also have such great chemistry and u can rlly tell that they just love each other and have so much fun together! I love a family of six hardworking dorks! 🤧💗 lol. And yeah it’s too bad that neither of are able to see them this cb ☹️ (I also did the 'hypothetically…’ research but it wouldn’t have worked out 😒) I hope you’re right though!

14)Hopefully the success of this comeback is the catalyst to Astro getting more of the attention they deserve and there will be many more opportunities to see them in the future! (Although it is too bad we won’t be able to see live performances from this cb, since it’s so pretty 😭 tho with their track record I’m sure future cb’s will be just as good lol) But what about you? Do you have any favorite songs from this cb in particular? Talk again soon! (I’ll try 2 b better @ responding 😭) -AHA

FUCKKK okay so after like a million years of midterms + 2 days straight of sleeping ya girl is BACK to answer these asks after getting through the hurdle of copying and pasting and italicizing 14 asks onto one response on my phone. Did I perhaps fail at least 3 of my midterms? Quite probably. Do I have the energy to care atm? No. Did I need to get away from everything and fly to Boston to visit my friend for reading week? Yes.

How did all your exams go? That sounds crazy though! I hope you got through everything ok!

Tbh I have the same unhealthy habits too, I essentially became nocturnal and lived on like one meal a day + snacks and coffee 😭 fr, I would be writing my midterm from 11:30-1:30, go home to eat, sleep from 4-7pm, then wake up to study all night for the next one, and repeat,,,,, I’m like an actual mess tbh

Honestly as much as I’ve enjoyed the Aroha secret admirer thing (it was sooo nice getting to meet new people) rn I’m just so glad that post-reveal we don’t have to deal with tumblr ask limits and writing entire essay responses all in one go.

Honestly 3 shirts isn’t even THAT bad especially if they weren’t all like ordered from overseas so they wouldn’t have been that expensive. When I went to the Myeongdong underground shopping centre I went craaaazy with Kpop merch despite stanning (at that point, pretty much only) BTS for a whole 3 weeks, so I ended up coming back with 2 albums, a bunch of stickers, a photocard pack (also bonus: got an Astro one too) and like a BUNCH of bt21 stuff. Speaking of, my All Light album finally came in!! I ended up getting a Moonbin, MJ, Jinjin, and Sanha photocard plus the a Rocky lyric booklet and ik I basically got THE best set for someone who loves all of them w my whole heart 😩✊ but I’m still sad I didn’t get any Eunwoo cards since he was my first Astro bias 😭 it’s soooooo pretty I love it sm and like lowkey I’ll probably end up buying more of their albums anyway oopsss

Speaking of Monsta X btw, I heard their new song and I thought it was really good! What did you think of it?

Regarding favourite songs, I swear my moods change so much, so it’s pretty common for me to not love a song at first and sort of rediscover it months later, and tbh that’s kind of what happened with Innocent Love, Baby, and Again. In this album though, I’d say my favourite Bsides are probably be Bloom, 1 in a Million, and Heart Brew Love.

And I toootally agree with the performance aspect of kpop being the thing to attract me it, even before I got really into it I’d sometime like to watch dance practices (and lowkey even learned a bunch of choreos a with my friend last term just bc we had access to a frequently empty dance studio). It’s just super impressive to see people singing and dancing at the same time mostly live, and for the same reasons I’m also super into musicals as well, which isn’t so say I think like lip syncing or just dancing/singing is bad, it’s just refreshing to see it done all at once, you know?

Also side story it turns out that I actually DO know another Astro fan irl!! Her older sister (who I’m closer to bc we’re closer in age) is the one who bought the million got7 albums. Even though she’s been a fan of Astro since before debut, her sister doesn’t even know she listens to kpop since she was afraid of getting roasted at first, but now she’s in too deep to say anything. I’d mentioned liking Astro to her before, but she didn’t say anything bc she didn’t want to expose herself in front of her sister but on Friday I saw her while her sister was out and she was like “oh btw here’s a secret I went to the Toronto fanmeet last year but my sister doesn’t know” I was SHOOK but tbh I’m just super glad now to have someone to talk about it and go to concerts with (I’m banking on the fact that they’re coming back)

Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for waiting 2747287482 million years for my response, and it was so great to finally (officially) meet you Kjersten!

@kaptain-k-pop

[riskeith]

hi bb!

oh rip... the ol’ laptop fan situation. it must sound like a plane when you play genshin right? yes, we’re more prepared now. i remember the first few years there were so many fires and stuff to the point where they even made bbq illegal. such a mess, but it took away a fire hazard which is good. i believe aus had the same situation right?

awwww sounds so cute! pokémon go? no i don’t! i dropped it after that summer sjsksjdk. do you play while you’re walking that’s so adorable. wait bakudeku zine??? you’ve peeked my interest.

ooh that makes sense! i thought about the gold seelie too actually! the babie might bring you mora which is always good to have. also there’s fanart of the gold seelie being aether and those are sooo cute. have you seen any?

help i hope xiao knows how lucky he is to have such a devoted fan as yourself!! you’re really pulling all the strings for him i applaud your patience and determination. dude albedo is like... easily one of the prettiest animated character i’ve seen! he’s gorgeous! also i like his elevator move that could be so handy. and for the dancing videos, just search on yt baron bunny dancin or something hehe.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK? wait are you serious? venti’s jpn va is HINATA? I HAD NO IDEA WTF???? god..,. that’s it i’m switching to jpn dub that’s insane... i was actually gonna ask you once if you could apply haikyuu characters to the game who would they be and the only one i was sure about was that hinata would be venti.... 😭 you’re so talented for knowing that hehe.. also you can say that you’re studying when you’re gaming then lmao. study smart not hard. god i’m still in shock over venti. this made my morning ngl.

i have no idea how fic collabs work either. i had a friend that did it once and she said they each wrote a chapter but i feel like that might be confusing if the writers use different writing styles..? idk it seems fun but kind of scary too..

ilytttttt little blushing girl.. <3

it always goes back to dragonspine does it not... 😶 but damn it’s been about a month and you’ve saved 12k that’s super solid. since xiao will be coming around feb that means you’ll have another month-ish to save up as well... so girl you’re def getting him sjdksjdk.. <3 and so much other goodies as well. unless you don’t pull him on the first try you might get some other great characters and weapons/artifacts as well. you need to force me to start saving up too bc if venti is really coming back.. i /have/ to get him esp now that i know about the va..

they’re adorable! i don’t know much about their story but i think they’re best friends, right? which makes it even more adorable. and there’s so much fanart of them as well. dude speaking of, genshin stans make the BEST fanart. i spend hours just looking at them and it’s perfect. i imagine there’s so much on twitter too, right?

god. remember shiro and adam. dreamworks would def not do that.. lmao...

your bravery for even considering posting wip. i’m taking my hat off for you. also, one writer to another; how does your writing process usually go? i’m always interested in seeing how other fic writers work bc it varies so much.

oh!! i was all over the place but i really liked sm groups. and loona! you don’t like slow songs? like even slow indie? aksjjdhdkdhf im gonna keep asking to find a middle group bc right now i’m super lost help...

i don’t really like sleeping in so it’s fine HEHE it’s 9 am now and i woke up about an hour ago which was perfect. 10 hour sleep? immaculate. not yikes. sleeping is always good never stress about it shjdhdjd, think about when you go back to school and have to pull all nighters etc.

kiss <3

heya!!

yeah HAHAAH it gets so hot omg.. and my laptop is supposed to have pretty good specs so i can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if i tried to play on my old one yikes 😬 oh shoot! yeah we have a fire danger rating too, the second lowest one is “high” and it goes beyond “extreme” to “code red”/“catastrophic” lollll. and we’ve regularly got fire bans in the summer to try and prevent anything! 

hfsdkjfhs summer 2016? god i remember that time so clearly... iconic 😩 i do play sometimes! normally if there are any mystic gyms around me to join, otherwise i’m kinda lazy about actually catching the pokemon HAHA oops. https://twitter.com/kotatsutomikan1 here!! does that mean 👀 you main bkdk 👀👀👀

oooo i thought the seelies were actually just there for decoration? AHAH. yessss I saw one with a whole lineup! https://twitter.com/icedkappe/status/1347555831831699457 look how cute 🥺 ugh but that reminds me of something i was thinking of earlier today, i hope they’ll introduce skins or something later down the line? fshdk like think of the potential. it always upsets me when i click the hanger icon and it only lets me change their glider fhsjfskfjsdjkf

god when i saw albedo’s hair... <3333333 and also his eyes??? um chief alchemist? more like PRETTIEST alchemist. yesss i’ve been doing plunge attacks a lot more recently (preparing for xiao?) and honestly ugh if i had albedo.. I LOOKED THOSE VIDEOS UP!!! THEY ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WHAT EHE FSUCJK!!!!!!  my god. fancam for characters who? ? from now on only fancams of baron bunny are allowed 😤😤😤

AHAHAH YEAH HE IS!!!! wait have you finished the world quest with him tho?? either way i’m sure you’ll be able to find clips of it in japanese dub online... his ‘ehe’ is so cute my god.. study smart not hard my motto!!!! <3 

yeah I feel like chapters is confusing which is why separating by POV might work better? definitely scary tho lol .... such uncharted territory for me

IM DEF GETTING HIM!!! xiao i am patiently waiting for you to come home 👐🙇‍♀️ yes!! i really hope the four stars on his banner are good bc i’m def gonna be pulling it a lot AHAHHA i hope hm.... i wanna get xingqiu to match with chongyun but beido seems so cool too 😩 tho i already have so many claymore users fsdhfksdfhsjd. oh that also reminds me venti’s elemental burst dialogue ‘kaze da!’ is so cute... like his voice is so melodic??? omg.... WAIT lemme send you this interview i found https://youtu.be/g3floaU41Uc !! AND START SAVE UP MARRIAGE ANON!!!!! tho i think he’s like 5 banners away so you still have time if you do wanna pull now... fhdsfkjds

they are!!! chongyun has this line in his story profile “Who could he possibly trust, if not his fine friend Xingqiu?” 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭 how cute is he i love him so much :((((((((((((( yeah there are so many on twitter!! i don’t see much on tumblr tbh bc i don’t look at my dash too often AHHAHA but it’s all over my twitter timeline~ 

my writing process depends!! but typically i type out the outline of a fic/write out certain scenes, then fill in everything around that ahaha. usually my ideas come from a line i thought up that i really like or just a concept. i usually also type out my plans in all caps LOL. i hope that makes sense lmaooo how about you? do you just go for it or plan everything out first?

ooo yeah sm have some really nice stuff... and nice! i never gave loona a shot FJKDHFKSJ. i don’t think so?? the slow songs i do like are usually exceptions rather than the rule LMAO but i like hozier’s stuff even tho they’re slow (but who doesn’t? AHAH) honestly i couldn’t even give you examples bc i can’t think of any FHSDKFJS like i guess for example, lovely by billie eilish and khalid, i like the song but on a normal day if it came up on shuffle i’d skip it? FHSFKSD im so sorry legit i am no help at all fhskdfhsjdfjsdkfhsdhkfhk but what are some artists you listen to often?

i never pull all-nighters!! it’s kinda like my rule, even if i’m absolutely fucked i’ll deal with it later rather than not sleep fhskjfsdf. (or maybe i just haven’t reached that stage yet... i hope not!). also wait a second i just registered what you wrote.. YOU WOKE UP AT 8AM????????? my goodness... legit i don’t think i did that a single time in 2020. there was a week i woke up at 8:30 every day but very quickly i started sleeping in again omg... that energy! i’m also gonna try start waking up early but it’s hard when i go to bed then read fic 😩

kisses!!! hope your day has been swell so far xoxo

[liu-lang]

A really long post abt my curly hair & the changes my curls have been through. tagging @laskyjedneplavovlasky bc you asked to see results of my plait

Okay so I only ended up plaiting my hair for one night bc right after my boyfriend found bed bugs in his bedroom. I thought I’d finally take the opportunity to make a post about my hair tt I’ve kinda wanted to for awhile. 

I’ve always been confused when ppl describe my hair as wavy and I’d be quick to correct them, no it’s curly. Obviously I don’t see the back of my head often. And when taking selfies with a front-facing camera, my hair looks curly to me. But finally having someone take photos of my hair from behind made me realise why ppl think I have wavy hair. 

I’m gonna refer to these photos by the row number + left / centre / right. So in the top most row, the photo on the left (1L), tt’s my hair the morning after plaiting it. I think I put AG Recoil Curl Activator the night before after showering to detangle it. Sleeping with a plait was super uncomfortable ??? It felt weird to have all my hair tied up instead of how I usually sleep with my hair down (and consequently moving freely all over my pillow). It might have been uncomfortable bc it was my first time but also with these results, I’m not sure if plaiting my hair is the right way to go to encourage my curl pattern. My hair was also still damp when I took it out of the plait. But I’m really glad I tried it bc now I know. I wonder if I will achieve different results if my hair was healthier. 

Also just to point this out before I forget, in 4R, tt’s the back of my little sister’s head. She has slightly wavy hair. She wears it about shoulder length now so her hair just looks straight. And my twin sister has straight hair. I rmbr asking her what she does with her hair while we were just together for xmas and she said she just shampoos it and then dries it without any product. I remarked tt I wish my hair could be tt maintenance-free…… my life would be so much easier.

1R, 2L and 2R are all my hair with any of the following products in it and the way I usually style my hair. 2R is my hair this morning right after waking up. I can’t rmbr which photo has which product. They aren’t all too different photo-wise. But I will say I think using straight up coconut oil, although hydrating does the least for encouraging and holding curl pattern. I only use 1 product at a time and I use the product to both detangle and style after I’ve showered.

Trader Joe’s Organic Triple Filtered Coconut Oil (I started using this when I was btwn hair products & didn’t want to spend money on stuff tt might end up not working for my hair)

AG Recoil Curl Activator

AG Foam Weightless Voluminiser

Urban Hydration Coconut Oil Styling Cream w/ Avocado Oil & Argan Oil

I don’t have the financial means nor the time nor do I want to make a giant effort to get ~perfect curls~ so I know most of my complaints could be addressed if I had those things or wanted to put in the energy / have the patience to do extra stuff to my hair. It took me awhile to also realise tt I can have different curl patterns throughout my head of hair. It tends to be straighter underneath and the top layers have more curls. There are all these rules / suggestions on how to sleep w/ curly hair “properly”, how to wash it and style it, how to care for day 2 / day whatever hair, how to dry your hair etc …. obvs I don’t care enough to do all the things but I try and do what i can. I stopped using shampoo several years ago and have a co-washing routine. Long story short this is what I do now :

I shower everyday so tt means I wash my hair everyday … this is not recommended for curly hair … but I developed seborrhoeic dermatitis along my hairline near my neck and left ear in high school (there are small localised patches tt flare up due to who knows what… mostly likely weather or stress … they’ve never spread to other pairs of my scalp or my body #pleasedon’tspread). When I shampoo I use Neutrogena’s T/Gel. I apply it directly onto my shampoo brush and only use it on parts of my scalp w/ the seborrhoeic dermatitis patches & I try to keep it on my scalp and not down the length of my hair. Even so, the T/Gel shampoo leaves my hair feeling like dry hay / dead grass after bc the coal tar strips my hair. If I’m having a pretty intense flare up, I will add tea tree oil directly to my scalp in addition to the shampoo. (when I was still trying to get it under control in the early days of diagnosis, I was prescribed 2% ketaconazole shampoo)

For conditioning and detangling in the shower, I use SheaMoisture’s Manuka Honey and Mafura Oil Intensive Hydration Conditioner with a wide tooth comb. I actually start first w/ conditioner (so it has more time to sit in my hair) then once I’ve detangled, I will shampoo my scalp. This also prevents me from combing shampoo through my hair. 

After I’m out of the shower, I dry my hair with a cotton t-shirt & use my wide tooth comb again to detangle w/ one of the products I listed above. Then I scrunch my hair to encourage curls and dry my hair a bit more. It *never* occurred to me to put product in my hair when my hair is wet straight out of the shower. I think I saw it in a Youtube video and I suddenly became aware tt I would dry my hair first until it was damp then put in product then dry again while scrunching. It totally makes sense now to do it w/ wet hair since the goal is to retain as much moisture as possible. I know everyone always says detangling w/ fingers is the best / most gentle but like I alr spend so much time as is w/ the comb. And I don’t want to be sitting down w/ my head upside down and hair turned over my face any longer than I alr have to. Then I go to sleep on a satin pillow case and my hair air dries throughout the night.

Looking at photos of my hair now and from 10 - 12 years ago (all the photos in rows 3 & 4), I wish I had appreciated the hair I had more. It was so different and so unique but tt was precisely what was so difficult (I heard the word “unmanageable” used to describe it a lot) about it and why I was ashamed of it growing up, I didn’t hate my hair but I felt ashamed and I felt like it didn’t suit me bc it was so big and so curly and I never knew what to do with it. Ppl always asked if it was real & no one would believe me when I said yes. White ppl here thought it was dreadlocks blergh….they actually still do even w/ the hair texture I have now. I rmbr having really terrible ID photos / school photos etc esp. when still living in Asia bc the photographers always wanted to get my hair out of my eyes or magically make it straight by running a fine tooth comb through my alr dry hair. Even put up in a pony tail, it would just be a giant bush (3C). I went to Catholic school w/ a dress code where your hair had to be up if it was long and I carried tt w/ me even after moving here so I only let my hair down in public when I was 18 / 19. Looking East Asian plus being a Muslim while having this kind of hair was so challenging. Bc everyone on my Chinese side didn’t understand why I didn’t have straight hair and my nenek was always asking my mum when we would be ~good Muslims~ and wear a tudung. I get my curly hair from my mum and sometimes I wish she would wear her hair naturally curly so we could look similar in at least one way but I understand how she’s internalised certain standards of beauty so she chooses to style her hair to meet them. She grew up w/ ppl being particularly cruel to her abt her hair & calling her ugly bc of it too. In addition to tt she had to deal w/ colourism.

My hair drastically changed when I was around 16 I think. I rmbr getting my hair cut to my shoulders thinking tt my curls would come back if I just took some weight off tt came w/ long hair…. but it just started me down a downward spiral (lol puns) to where I am now w/ my loose curls / waves. I started having an eating disorder at 11 all the way until I was 22 and now I’m struggling w/ it / just living w/ the remnants of it. I know tt having proper nutrition will help w/ my hair but also my body’s endured so much damage for over a decade, esp. when I should have been growing during my adolescence, tt it’s just gonna be a really long and slow journey ahead. 

I’ve watched some hair transition videos of ppl reviving damaged hair and regaining their curls. This one by CurlyPenny comes to mind. I can’t believe it took her 5 years but her hair is fabulous and #goals now. I don’t know if I can get my original curl pattern back. Maybe this is just how my hair is post-puberty ? My hair is thin and not very dense (like if you look at my scalp, I don’t have a lot of hair strands growing out of one place per square inch) so it gets weighed down very easily by product. I know ideally I would use mists or foams instead of creams or gels. But I’ve found tt mists / foams don’t always provide my hair w/ the moisture it needs. And it’ll dry w/ a crunchy texture. Some ppl say oils aren’t the best bc they can build up if not properly washed out and I know I’m literally coating my hair w/ oils right now when I style it. 

I’ve been watching Naturally Curly’s videos and I especially love seeing Grace’s Watch & Go’s bc I think she has similar-ish hair to mine in terms of her hair being on the border of wavy / curly. Having a haircut could also help w/ the shape of my hair and curls but my haircuts never seem to go as planned. I have a lot anxiety abt haircuts bc growing up my mum would come in and speak for me and I never knew what to say abt what I wanted / how to have a conversation with the hair stylist while in the chair. (I think there’s a thing where women have deep conversations & develop friendly relationships w/ their hair stylists). Right now, I think I want to focus on 2 things 

Finding a clarifying conditioner tt is low or no lather bc I think properly removing product build-up once a month could really help w/ my hair feeling weighed down

Going back to deep conditioning my hair either by finding a hair mask / deep conditioning treatment or letting my regular conditioner I use now in the shower sit in my hair 30 min before I even take a shower

And maybe……a 3rd thing…. actually wrap my hair up when I sleep or put a cap on it to prevent breakage bc it’s so thin and to help w/ volume. Besides my curl pattern changing, the one other thing tt bothers me the most is how I’ve lost curls and volume at my roots. Idk if it grows out straight or what now but I’m not keen on how the roots are flat

I never really envisioned my #curlyhairpost to come out like this but I’m kinda relieved tt I’ve gotten it out of the way. Bc the longer it just sat in my brain, the longer and more complicated it grew. If you are naturally curly too, please share your journey ! I really love seeing the natural hair movement grow etc but ….. every time someone comes up to me to ask what I did to my hair to get my curls or they don’t believe my hair is naturally curly, I think about the stereotype of Asians only having straight, thick, black hair.