#bc the need to be doing something is a bit much lmao

[olrinarts]

okay here we are y'all are officially stuck in the hell of me unleashing lazy fics on you all

hide/seek AU lazy fic/ramble pt 2 (animatic, 1 / 2 / 3 / 4)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So it'd probably continue that pretty straightforward way for a while, and maybe a long while - decades of monthly stabbing to carousel their way through sharing godhood, and they generally kinda. try to not let the cult know that they're DOING a death carousel since it might not go over well, but the cult knows that it's a swap back and forth, and that the two of them do it in a 'ritual' once a month in the temple

but at some point they started joking about it during the process, and then at some point after that they start kinda. taking care of each other afterwards

bit late in the game to add aftercare since they're mostly used to it by now lmao, but sometimes they've just had a rough go of it for a little while, and it's a bit much after they're resurrected and instead of the usual joke they're just quieter

and it's been a kind of polite silent agreement to just let the other one have their quiet without bothering them, but the 'monthly' thing has shifted to something a little fluid, since the timing isn't always convenient, and that means that at one point the swap finally happens on a day that means too much in a bad way - lands on the anniversary of the day esriaal had their head chopped off, aka the day where (at the time) they didn't exactly know what the prophecy MEANT but knew that having their head chopped off meant that the sheep were done for one way or another

so they're a little off beforehand, just because it's hitting a little weird - he's a former Bishop and for obvious reasons he never had a hand in killing off the sheep, but it still vaguely echoes in a bad way

but it's the day they agreed on so they figure they can just get it over with and have a quiet period after

but then they're dying and it's too familiar, and then they're coming back and that's too familiar, and it's all getting tangled up in their head and when they come back they're so out of it that they're basically unresponsive for a little bit, too caught up in memories to drag themself out of it

and at this point the two of them are friends (how could they not be? they've spent decades sharing power and trusting the other one to keep to the agreement, you get close eventually) and narinder's just staring at them having this silent breakdown, and it's familiar in its own way, bc that first time they arrived in the Below they were scared, at least in the beginning

and seeing fear's just part of the reality of being death, but it kinda twitched something in him last time, and it's DEFINITELY hitting him this time - but this time he's not in chains, and has the actual chance to comfort them

so by the time they drag themself back, they realise Narinder's been sitting with them more or less in his lap, letting them hide their face in his chest and tending to their wool for lack of knowing what else to do, purring quietly, because he's a cat and grooming someone's fur (or wool) and purring is basically the only things he knows for certain should be comforting to people

neither of them talk about it directly for a little while, but the next time Narinder comes back kinda quiet (not as severely, he was just having an issue of some kind re: the cult and he's frustrated that he hasn't been able to fix it, and being frustrated and then being stabbed doesn't often relieve stress), esriaal awkwardly offers a hug, and after a few seconds, Narinder accepts it

i'm gonna need more posts 😭

[teddybeartoji]

at what point should one go and get tested for ocd...................

[carrionsong]

xime's inspiration/brain problems list :] JSVGNBYUS IS THIS ANYTHING.... does anyone understand. where am i

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[volfoss]

i cant even like post about the horrors that are going on currently because im gonna get too mad but oh my god. like i would give her really good credit for writing a character like marius that has 0 self awareness about his insanely disgusting behavior bc like. that CAN work. you can make the reader feel disgust and see things through the eyes of someone who is horrible while not romanticizing the behavior. clearly anne did not get the memo for this one.

[seventh-district]

several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

[izzy-b-hands]

Trying to make my brain do anything today has just been case after case of 'well, half-assed is better than nothing I guess.'

[vynegar]

14% of the way through....

[princewylder]

You know thinking about it Riku could also be a Lovers Arcana character. His story + arc very much revolves around his relationships with other characters (particularly his family and most importantly himself).

Captain is ultimately his arcana however because I feel like his stubbornness and his like willingness to keep going is what makes him a Chariot character (as Captain is an alternative to Chariot). He's also a very devoted/emotional character and I think that plays into it too!

[lookwhatyoumademelou]

.

[cowboyfarooqlane]

I had a conversation assignment for my Italian class and it was genuinely so fun and I’m proud of myself because I think it went super well!! 😌

[snekdood]

so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh

[iraprince]

gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

[dilf-docs]

All Roads Lead To Rome

pedro pascal x younger fem!reader

summary: your boyfriend swears he isn't annoyed at your little surprise visit on the set of gladiator II; you might have to help him release his anger, one way... or another.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (BARK BARK BARK), smut, p. in v., bit of exhibition kink cause they fuck on his trailer, he swears he's mad but he just wants head, oral (m. receiving), he also uses his armor and skirt while at it bc its hot and not bc i totally want that to happen to me or smth!!!, brat taming, orgasm denial, breeding and daddy kink lowkey, i'm so down bad for him so there's fluff!!! + pedro being whipped cause that's exactly what i want in my men, the cast makes cameos bc i love them!!!, use of spanish (i'm latina so don't even try me)

word count: 3,519 words

side note: i'm about as FERAL and horny as much as one could be!!! damn u pedro, making me walk out in the middle of class and walk on foot to the nearest theather for an early gladiator II screening (bc they're cheaper and i'm a jobless broke student lmao) that mind u it's my first solo trip to the movies but it's okay!!!! nobody interrupt me on my horny dilf hours amirite I TELL U that cinema was almost empty: just me, pedro and hey there's a spot if u wanna join mescal (look at my blog banner IYKYK) so yeah!!!! enjoy this porn lovechild that steemed from it; my pedro renaissance that'd been asleep since tlou dropped AWAKES (u don't get it, i literally watched narcos just for him) i'm so fr i need this man BIBLICALLY!!

"Lemme guess, that's her, right?"

Pedro looks up from his phone, slightly red and embarrassed. He would blame the color on the sun, and as an actor, fake his way out.

"No idea what you're talking about, Paul"

The young man chuckles.

"I mean, every break we get, you take your chair, sit the farthest and pull your phone with the most ridiculous grin I've ever seen. I'm afraid to tell you, friend, you aren't as slick as you think"

He leans back against the chair, covering his face with his large palm.

"At least I tried" he finds no point in lying anymore, "seems like I'm addicted, but if it wasn't for y/n, I wouldn't touch it"

"I'm curious, though" Paul scoots his chair closer, "who texts who? You or her?"

"Me" he answers, but then corrects himself quickly, a bit ashamed of how that makes him sound, "but it's mostly her first".

"Right" he doesn't sound convinced, rather curious and annoyed, something he's too old and tired for, "I don't believe you"

He's about to lock his phone, but the wallpaper (a selfie with you) would probably earn him another mock from Mescal.

"Too bad I don't need you to"

Before he can do so, the irish man yanks his phone away.

"Give it back!" he shouts, earning a few glances from the crew around them, "what are you, ten?"

"No, twenty-eight" they look like kids bickering. "No need to fight me, Mr. Pascal, they haven't taught us the new fighting choreography yet" he mocks, before the phone chimes; they both stop at the sound.

"What does this mean?" Paul asks. "Malta's nice" he reads out loud, "were you talking about possible future vacations? I might have to tag along"

He doesn't follow the man's joke, instead, looking at the message on your chat. Malta's nice, says the little cryptic message, and yes―it is cryptic, because you were just talking about missing each other and some other corny stuff he'd take to his grave. Not vacations, and certainly, not about the european island, which happens to also be the place were he's filming his latest movie.

"No, we weren't" he replies confused, "what do you think it means?"

"Well, obviously, you boys don't know anything" May pops up from behind, laughing.

"Were you eavesdropping?" he asks playfully, albeit, a little offended.

"No, you guys are just too loud" she replies nonchalant. "Besides, you aren't very good at hiding it, either"

"That's what I said!" Paul backs, laughing on his face.

"Stop being misterious and just drop it"

"It means" she pauses―laughing at her own little dramatic effect, "that you're getting a visit soon"

When you met Pedro, you were working in The Last Of Us. Nothing fancy, just part of the technical cast of the show: helping with the filming and stuff.

During those months, it was easy to find yourself falling for the main star (alongside Bella Ramsey), especially when you spent months behind a camera, capturing all of his perfect features; learning them by memory until you could draw them without seeing his face.

Yes, you had fallen for the older man, because it was as natural as breathing; easy as being alive―the fall so gentle and so easy, it was hard to know when the feelings started. You just woke up one day, feeling different.

You liked to act up―always had what you wanted, and times had changed (so it's not like he had to ask first): why not? Which is why during your last day of shooting you took some liquid courage on your veins and went up his way. It was at a little gathering the crew you've grown to call family organized, while wearing your favorite and tightest dress, that you approached him.

It surprised you that he even recognized you, but that's who he was: warm, welcoming and caring.

To augment the surprise, turns out he had eyed you already, but was too shy to do anything. Yes, the worlds most famous Chilean man. It did stroke your ego, and maybe that's why you feel like most of the time, you've got the upper hand on your relationship, despite the years in between.

Still, you feel like the last message you just sent was a bit too blunt. Now you sit at the tiny airport, pondering your next move.

You know your boyfriend isn't exactly the type to scold or get mad―despite his strong figure, but going against the only thing he asked you might test him. Which is why you feel nervous, despite the happiness around you, everyone in the airport looking straight out of a picture perfect summer edition magazine.

And your theory is proven exactly right when you arrive impromptu at the Gladiator II set: making heads turn and guards almost kick you out, thinking you're a fan.

"You don't get it!" you protest, "he's my boyfriend".

"Sure", they laugh on your face. "you're not the first to say that".

"She's not lying" oh, how you love that gravely voice. But not today: not when he sounds like a parent scolding a naive child. Not when his eyes bore into you, slightly irritated.

So now he's dragging you among the set, right to were his trailer is.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" you ask, puffing your cheeks out in annoyance. He keeps dragging you by the arm, without sparing a glance in your way. Who does he think he is? "I wanted to tell Paul he made me cry―twice. You know I don't play about Normal People and Aftersun"

"But you do seem to play about my orders" he grunts out, opening the door to his trailer. The sunlight reflects against the white, slightly bothering your eyes with its shine, contrary to your boyfriend's gloomy behaviour.

"Are you being serious right now? You're not my dad to scold me. I just wanted to surprise you" you stand still, refusing to get inside. Pedro knows your character tends to be stubborn, and thought he finds it hot to reel you up sometimes, there are other times where he can't just stand that juvenile spirit of rage you tend to have when things don't go the way you want them to. "What's gotten into you?"

"I could ask you the same" he mocks. "Get inside. Now"

"Rude" you scoff, but obey regardless, and he breathes out relieved you didn't do a scene like last time; he still can't show his face on that restaurant to this day.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me" you say a tad bit dissapointed, and Pascal feels the pissed off feelings clouding his brain start to dissipate.

"I do, amor" he sighs, "just hate to see you do things I tell you not to; waltzing in here like you own the place".

You don't see the mistake, though. What's wrong with wanting to do a little surprise? It's not like you were a stalker or something; just a very clingy girlfriend who happens to miss her boyfriend.

"So, you're not mad?" you venture, "tell me you're not embarrassed"

He looks at you, the fondness of his gaze betraying him.

"I'm not the one wearing a skirt while trying to sound intimidating" you joke while caressing the crook of his nose, knowing you always get on his good side. Being mad isn't something that lasts, "if anyone should be embarrassed, that's you"

"Are you saying I shouldn't wear one because I'm a man?" your boyfriend looks offended, "Have you forgotten the movie I'm starring in? People feared the skirt-wearing Roman army"

"Well, I'm not intimidated" you stand defiant, and something dark tints his brown eyes. You can feel the excitement begin pooling in your stomach.

"You're not?" he grips your wrists and yanks you to him, then holds your chin, tilting your head between his calloused fingers. "Well, cariño, you should be"

Your body slams against one of the trailers walls, and you have to suppress a whine.

"You must be punished for what you did today"

You give him a doe-eye look, pretending to be all innocent, as if you weren't enjoying the punishment.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've been a good girl"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about" he clicks his tongue, "don't play dumb with me"

"I just came to visit you" you murmur, voice husky against his ear. He grunts, and with the proximity, his hard-on rasps against your bare legs, only partly covered by the flowy summer dress you're wearing, "is that so bad?"

"It is. Has sido mala, cariño" his hand travels down under your dress, carresing with his large palm the silhoutte of your ass. The rings on his fingers create a shock, cold metal against your warm sun-bathed skin. "Naughty girl"

"I promise I'll be good, papi" you purr, using that honeyed voice of yours that makes it hard: hard to say no and hard between his pants.

Pedro sits on a small couch he has inside the trailer, guiding you with his hand enveloped around yours, motioning you to follow with a care so soft, you'd doubt he's about to do to you what he is about to do to you. He pulls you across his lap, smiling (God, you love his smile) as your stomach presses against his tights.

"Don't worry" he breathes low, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll make you a good girl. Tell me, aren't you?"

You swallow, "I am"

He moves the panties easily to the side, rubbing your pussy a little. He then spanks it softly, making you mewl at the sting.

Pedro continues to trace over it, "Are you sure about that?"

"N-no" you shiver in delight, resolve dissolving as quick as it came. "I'm naughty"

"It's good to be aware" he murmurs, "Dilo otra vez"

"I'm a naughty girl"

He lifts your head by your hair. "Tell me what you did"

"Disobeyed your orders, coming to the set" you whisper. He lets go of your hair, his hands traveling down again, slowly teasingly rubbing your pussy while he humms.

"You were a little brat, amor"

You whimpered and mewled in delight. "I was a very naughty brat"

He pushed his fingers inside you, plunging his fingers into your pussy.

"Look at you. You're soaking wet" he pumped his fingers in you, making you moan, "Is that why you came to see me? Couldn't wait any longer for daddy to be inside of you?"

You bucked a little, making him stop. He drags his fingers out, causing you to beg for him to go back.

"Answer my question you greedy thing" He leaned closer to your ear. "Did you need my cock this much?"

You whimper, "I do! Missed you so much"

He pushed his fingers back into you, provoking a moan out of you.

"You're always so needy for me" your core tenses, making you shiver. "How badly do you want me? Tell me"

You whimpered "Badly, papi"

"Say it" his face contorts in satisfaction at your pathethic display; crying little mess, "Who's cock, fingers and mouth make you feel good?"

You can't think at this point, your brain fuzzy and pussy hot, leaking. You kiss his lips, moaning against them, "you!"

"Just me, yes? Nobody else can make you feel this good?"

"No one!"

You involuntarily roll your hips to aid you in pleasure, yet Pedro stops you just before you can reach your orgasm.

"Little brat." he tuts, making you groan. "Did you think I'd let you? You were naughty today, baby"

You huff in annoyance, used to having your way.

"That's your punishment"

"But I'll behave" you mewl against his ear, "I promise"

“Good, because I'm planning on fucking your brains out” his hot breathe whispers in your ear seductively, trying his best not to slur the words at the drunken haze that your arousal provokes in him, "but you have to help me first"

You get on your knees, looking at the garment he's wearing. The skirt and general costume makes this all the more hot, mouth watering at the sight. You raise the skirt, glancing at the briefs; just seeing his dick strained against the fabric makes you wet in anticipation.

He sees the pleasure bore into your orbs, and before you do any dirty idea of yours, he's already warning:

"You have to take this off, what if we-"

"Alright" you cut him off, "but the skirt stays"

"Sigue, pues" he growls, voice low yet demanding, following you in your little game.

As you pull the briefs down, his erection springs out enthusiastically, slapping up against his lower abdomen. You shifted your gaze up to meet his, his eyelids heavy and his proud smirk driving you absolutely wild.

"That's right" he chokes out, "show me how much you missed it"

You give him a proud lick, and Pedro hisses at the moment his preseminal fluid goes in between your hungry lips.

Your tongue darts to the head of his cock, running over it several times before bobbing your head down, taking most of him in your mouth. He keeps praising as you pump the base of his cock with your hand. Your head bobs, yet you peek up to hear Pascal's little sounds and facial expression, a motivation so intimate in the way his brows furrow and eyes roll, mouth agape at your movements while his lip suck on those pretty lips of his. It makes you keep going. With every bob you take as much of him in your mouth as you can, before slowly moving your way back up to the tip, increasing your suction the closer to his head you got. A throaty moan escapes the man above you when you now focus on the final lick, making him closer to coming, all while maintaining eye contact the entire way through.

"Don't do that" he rasps, yanking you by the hair again, as of punishment, but he knows you enjoy it, "you promised you'd be good"

You can't answer, so instead, you reach the head of his cock again, and now his eyes roll back, mumbling profanities that sound like heaven.

"Do you want them to hear us, brat? Qué necia eres" he manages to chastise while moaning.

You feel his dick stuck in your throat, and the way he's about to come; you think that after some time dating, you know him well enough.

You're about to leave with your mouth when he stops you.

"No" your eyes open in shock, "what? Did you think your punishment is over?" Pedro laughs, "don't look at me like that. Like you have never done it before"

He keeps you in place by the hair, the rings prickling against your scalp. You feel his muscles tense up, and before you can think anything else thick and hot shots of cum invade your mouth, making it sticky and warm.

"Don't pretend you don't like it" his voice goes dark, husky. "Swallow it all. Te han enseñado a no desperdiciar nada, ¿verdad? Show me your good manners, then"

When you pull out, your throat feels raspy.

"You gotta reward me" you cough out.

"I promised, didn't I?" his fingers trace your face delicately, with adoration.

"It's all about duty, General Acacius" you purr, and the dick springs out again. Hard.

"Princess..." he warns.

"For the glory of Rome" you joke and laugh, then cough, as your throat is still sore.

"Have you been reading my script?" as you avoid to answer, he just chuckles, "ay, nena"

"C'mere" he motions, and you sit on his lap again. Pedro lifts your dress, exploring the curve of your ass. There's anticipation as he hooks his finger around the waistband of your panties, pulling them down to access your core.

"Fuck" you squirm at his touch, grinding your freed cunt against his hard cock. He grabs you by the hip, adjusting you right on his lap.

"You taste so good" he kisses down your throat, ending at the chest were your tits peak.

"Want them?" you offer, pulling your dress down. He kisses them, gently nipping at your perked up nipples.

A wave of pleasure courses through you, and with whines and moans, you show how desperate you are, the hunger making the meal taste better. After all those weeks missing him, you just want him to fuck you senseless.

His lips are rosy and swollen against yours, mouths clashing; starved of the yearned contact. Truth is, no matter how much you know how to touch yourself, it'll never be the same as having his hard cock tear through your tight folds.

Pedro easily aligns his leaking cock with your uncovered pussy, all while mantaining the kiss. He pushes down on you, your dripping cunt taking all of his rock-hard cock, fingers holding onto the soft brown grey sprinkled locs.

"Pedro" you cry out his name, full of ecstasy as the stretch burns so sweetly. His low grunts only fuel your desire.

You trace with your eyes his body, now bare without the upper part of the costume: his pecs and abs, flexing with every pump. With now free hands, your fingers travel to softly caress his stomach, even if your tits are jiggling and the pace is rather frenetic.

"I missed you so much" you pout.

"I missed you too" he whispers out, getting tired.

He's reminded of his old age, forgetting about it as soon as you two kiss, because you bring out a stamina he thinks he doesn't have anymore; almost animalistic. His bones creak and adding the tiring filming day under the hot sun, he feels his body start to give up, the orgams closer and closer.

"Missed how you look" you clash your lips onto his, the adoration translating through the smile you press against, a trail of saliva that symbolizes how interwined you are, "you always look so fucking good"

He blushes, feeling like a stupid school boy with a crush. What did he even do to deserve you? Never thought a pretty young wild thing like you would even spare a glance on his way, but now you're taking all of his cock inside with such greed yet loom into his eyes with a love he's only dreamed of.

You're real, and his.

As soon as those words leave your mouth your orgasm spills over him, some of it dripping onto the skirt, making him curse. You can't stop, still meeting his thrusts halfway, despite your trembling body after reaching your high.

"Mierda" he groans against your mouth,

You feel yourself collapsing on top of him, the weight of the jet lag catching up.

"Getting tired, baby?" he coos. "Shit, and I thought I was old"

"You are" you reply back; you can never not have the last word. And he lets you, because, God, doesn't he love you? He pretends to look offended by it, but the way your eyes shine tell him you didn't mean it that way. "You and your white hairs" tracing over his moustache, a soft hand combing through his locks, "These wrinkles... don't you know how much I love them? how much I love you?"

"And you have no idea how much I love you" he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling it coming through. "God, wanna make you mine. Sólo mía" his pace slows. It's coming, and yes, you will take it all. "Wanna make you a baby, mami. Want you to take it all like the good girl you are"

When he comes, filling you with burning hot cum until you feel like you might burst, you're numb. But there's a feeling so content that pools warmth in your chest, that you can't say anything else, resting your head against his bare chest, both covered in sticky sweat.

"No sé cómo voy a explicar esto" he speaks through ragged breathes, and you can only smirk, "a squirted and cummed roman skirt".

"That isn't my problem" he scoffs, and you feel your head rise against the movement, earning a laugh out of you, "I'm not part of the movie"

"You'd sure think so, with the way you walked in here"

You roll your eyes, face hidden against his chest, "can you let that go?"

"You're right" he pulls you closer to him, hand enveloping you behind your bare back. The quiet doesn't bother you as you lie closer to his chest, his heartbeat the only thing you need to be at peace, "I think punishment time is over. Think you've learned your lesson"

"Then, how about we go out? I've heard Malta's beaches are pretty"

"Relájate, cariño. Seems you've gotten your energy back" he quips, then kisses your forehead. "We need to wait for everyone to get out"

"That embarrased you are of me?" you joke.

"No" he can already imagine his fellow cast members making fun of him, starting with Paul and Joseph when they see you and Connie who will totally notice the fun sticky stains on the costume, "but embarrased of the explanation I'll have to give"

cr: divider @kodaswrld / gif @a7estrellas

[moesthoughts]

hiiiiii! can you write something for season 3 shauna only being soft for reader? like, the other girls keep pushing reader into shauna bc they know that reader is the only one that calms her down and actually gives the rest of the girls some peace. reader is the only one that isnt afraid of shauna, and then in the end they finally get together or something like that lmao thank youuuu

Her safe space

pairing ⛧ shauna shipman x reader

warnings ⛧ mentions of blood, cannibalism, shauna being shauna

summary . . Shauna and you have been unusually close since the death of Jackie. Even throughout all the hardships of the wilderness, you never gave up on her. The other yellow-jackets rely on you to calm her down when she needs it the most. You didn’t expect it to turn into a long needed love confession

part 2

Shauna was a loose cannon, she’d lost herself ever since the baby died. You couldn’t blame her, especially how her best friend died before that too. You recognized how much Shauna has endured throughout the time in the wilderness, how fucked up everybody’s heads are currently. You could do nothing but stand there and watch the chaos, even feed into it a little. As much as you didn’t like to admit it, you were just like the girls around you: Traumatized, and hungry.

The girls saw you as an asset of the group, the only one who seemed to be able to ground Shauna. You didn’t really understand why: you believed you were the same as everybody else. But you knew you were one of the only people there for her throughout all the personal deaths that had affected her greatly, and your arms were always kept open just for her. You never realized how much Shauna appreciated it.

You remember those nights with Taissa and her up in the attic of the cabin. When Tai was unable to comfort her, you’d be the one to lull her to sleep, your hands coursing through her brown hair, whispering words of comfort into her ear. You noticed where Shauna would go when everyone was wondering about her, her whispering to Jackie’s frozen corpse. You regret not realizing how much her mental health declined. She had reached the point of insanity.

You never saw those same eyes, akin to a deer, replaced with an endless brown void with no light in it anymore. Still, your thumb would smooth over the skin of her cheek, looking into that same abyss as you talked some sense into her. As much as Shauna was in her head, she didn’t understand your love for her, how you’ve stayed by her side even after all that was going on. Why you so eagerly shared a hut with her, it made a feeling in her blossom again; she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to love again until you came around.

Winter ended and summer had arrived, and you couldn’t deny how much you’ve missed the warmth of the sun. You didn’t expect it to be any easier than the winter though, other than your false hope of rescue returning through whispers of promise. Throughout all the death you had endured, you damn hoped they’d be coming soon. Other than that, life wasn’t any easier. Shauna was the antler queen: her impulsiveness weighing heavy on the group. You silently prayed every time a decision had to be made.

You noticed that the summer has brought more responsibility to you than the other seasons; you were the one who was pushed to calm down Shauna. You didn’t mind one bit; after all, you cared for Shauna deeply, even though you didn’t recognize her after all this time. You blamed it on the part of your heart she took up; you could tell she was suffering but showing it in the worst ways possible. You’ve come to the realization that you truly did love Shauna, but you knew it wasn’t appropriate to act on that feeling currently.

You’re currently washing clothes, frustration filling your veins as the stains in the fabric never seem to fade no matter how much you scrub. You audibly groan, giving up on getting the clothes perfectly clean. The washing machines at home are starting to become a fantasy in your head; you've reached a low point. As you hang up the wet clothes on the makeshift hanger, you hear footsteps trailing up behind you. Your head turns with curiosity, your eyes connecting with Taissa’s. A small smile shows up on your face as you continue with your task.

“Hey, we really need your help.”

You recognize that tone, the one she uses when she feels especially frustrated at something. You stop in your tracks and focus all your attention on the woman in front of you; a confused look comes to your face.

“With what? I’m almost done drying the laundry can it—“

“No.”

Taissa interrupts you, a sigh falling out of her lips once she realizes how quickly she answered. She pinches the bridge of her nose; you can tell she was trying to cool her nerves before speaking to you again.

“..Well, okay. What’s the situation?”

Something in your gut tells you it’s Shauna, but you don’t want to get used to doubting her abilities to control herself. You cross your arms, a softer look resting on your face. You try to take apart the situation from Tai’s facial expression, but you’ve never been good at discerning from little information. Your eyes look to the unfinished laundry before trailing back to Tai’s eyes.

“Shauna’s being fucking— she’s just blowing up in Van’s face and saying some crazy shit. We just need you to.. put out the fire. She went to your hut.”

You let out a sigh, regretting not trusting your gut right away. You wonder if this would ever end, constantly being thrown to the sharks. You know that it was what you were best at, essentially taking Jackie’s role for the group. You nod; you understand. Taissa hugs you suddenly, your arms slowly returning it.

“Thank you, really. You’re the only one who seems to be able to calm her down, it means a lot to us.”

She breaks off the hug with a gentle smile, a nice look for her face. You never like when she’s wearing that annoyed expression 24/7. She rubs your arms before walking towards the wet clothes.

“I got the rest, don’t worry.”

“..Thank you.”

You feel bittersweet, but you’re grateful anyway. You give her an unsure smile before departing towards the huts; you aren’t sure what you’ll be facing, but you’re already mentally preparing yourself for anything.

You arrive at the huts, already feeling the negative atmosphere around the area. Your eyes rest on Van and the group around her; pissed was an understatement. You focus back on the task at hand, calming Shauna down. You’re sure she already saw you enter, because when you direct your gaze towards the inside of the makeshift hut, she’s already giving you that same look of guilt. You approach her, entering the hut.

“You’re being used like a toy, you know that right?”

Shauna says, Once you sit down next to her, bring your knees up to your chest. You process her words and exhale; you know she’s right, now that you think about it. Every time someone doesn’t like what Shauna says or does, it’s always your problem to deal with. You avert your eyes, focusing on a tree stub not too far off into the woods.

“..That doesn’t matter, I’m here for you. What happened?”

You look back to the woman next to you. Shauna recognizes that look in your eye; you’re here because you care about her. That causes her to ease up, leaning her back against the wood of the hut, still looking at you. You wonder what’s going on in her head currently; she must feel so misunderstood. Your heart aches for your best friend, if you can even take that role from Jackie.

“It’s either she lets something happen or is so against me, It’s aggravating. I can never keep up with her, it’s like she’s so sure she’s always right.”

You guess that the “she” in this story was Van, based off the information Tai gave you and the looks you received when first arriving at the area. You think before speaking, choosing your words carefully so you don’t accidentally make her mood worse.

“Maybe it’s because you aren’t listening to Van’s ideas. She probably feels the same way you do right now. I’m sure if you both took a second to listen to each other, you could come up with a mutual agreement.”

You nudge her shoulder with yours, trying to lighten up the mood even just a little bit. She gives you that same blank expression she always wears, but you can tell she’s listening to your words. She huffs, searching her head to see if she can complain about something else, something to keep you in your shared hut for a bit longer before you both have to go back to your chores.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Still, Shauna can’t see how your solution would work. After all they’ve been through, how do you have the patience not to argue? She rests her head on her knees, trying to reason with your words silently.

“If you’re doubting me, I get it. But remember what we’ve been doing ever since the plane crash, even though half of it is so fucked up Shauna. We’ve always acted like a group, no matter the situation. If you both think about it that way, i’m sure you’ll understand.”

Shauna lifts her head up, looking at you in awe. You’re right; you’ve always been right. She can’t explain why she doubts you each time; you’re not here to sabotage her but to help her. That same feeling of butterflies bubbles up in her stomach, and her hand brushes through her hair.

“Uh, can I ask you something?”

She speaks up suddenly; you’re surprised that she changed the subject so quickly. But still, you nod, not being able to ignore the curious feeling.

“What does it feel like to truly love someone?”

She rolls her eyes once you laugh out of pure shock; you weren’t expecting that question to fall out of Shauna Shipman’s mouth, especially in a place like this. Still, you think about the question, pulling out feelings from the bottom of your heart to truly answer her.

“If you feel safe and respected, truly seen. At least that’s how I think of it.”

You smile, proud of your answer. Shauna adjusts her previous position, getting on her knees to slowly crawl towards you. You instinctively scoot away slightly, your heart beginning to race. You stop once you see how she was looking at you, that doe-like face that she used to have returning. You feel your stomach drop. Are you even ready for what’s going to come out of her mouth?

“I feel that with you, I want to feel more of it. Feel you.”

Your mouth drops, a red hue kissing your cheeks. She’s practically on top of you, both of her arms beside you and a knee in between your legs. You feel her breath on your face, hot due to the weather outside. You slowly bring your hand up to caress her cheeks, noticing how she instantly leans into your touch, closing her eyes like a cat getting pet. She opens them to look at you once your thumb brushes over her bottom lip, and you close the little space in between you both.

The kiss is heated; the need is apparent from the quiet noises coming from both of you. She tastes salty, like iron. You assume it’s from your last meal, how you all shamelessly ate a child. That memory was lost somewhere in your mind; the only thing your brain can conjure is the woman whose hands are holding your hips, like she’s afraid to let you go. Your eyebrows knit together as your hands grip her brown hair, pulling lightly on her roots. She finally breaks the kiss, staring at your bruises and red lips. Her hand reaches for your cheeks, desperate to feel more of your skin. Shauna takes the warmth radiating from your face, her chest going up and down, still trying to catch her breath.

You wander under her top, your fingers running around her back comfortingly. She leans down onto you, her head resting on your chest. You embrace her, your head still spinning from the previous events. You always told yourself you weren’t ready to confess something like this to Shauna, after all the blood you shared, the people you ate. This wasn’t the place to necessarily fall in love, but she had you wrapped around her finger.

“I want you too, I don’t want to let go of this bond we have together.”

You finally breathe out, placing a small kiss on the top of her head. You feel her shoulders fall. You haven’t seen Shauna like this in forever; she wasn’t that scary woman she was when you were hunting while you were with the group. It’s like it was before the crash, when you all weren’t going insane. You wonder what it would’ve been like; it would’ve been completely different. For now, that doesn’t matter. You finally have Shauna.

ahhhh this is very out of character because i’m still trying to learn shauna (and taissa) properly, but still I hope you like it! Haven’t wrote a good fic in awhile

req me!

masterlist

[lookwhatyoumademelou]

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