#bc the reason that line really really resonated with me is bc it recognizes that the grief itself is a part of that love

[darkcircles4lyfe]

hi hello ive just come from your enneagram 9 izuku post and i am just OVERWHELMED with joy & excitement after reading it, everything you said just feels so RIGHT!!

(i am a nine myself & have always felt weirdly attached to izuku in that he felt soso similar to me in such a weirdly specific way but i couldn't really explain why i just Got Him until now, so thanks for that little boost of validation lol)

with your post in mind, i couldn't stop thinking about this line from 412 and it got me curious if you had any additional thoughts on it/read it the same way i did:

the moment i read this line i immediately took a screenshot & filed it away in my Important Izuku Moments file, like idk! the wording of it, the way he's talking about shigaraki but could SO easily be talking about himself, that honestly devastating panel of the tears in his eyes...

we've gotten plenty of hints about izuku's emotional suppression (that 'heroes dont cry' scene with iida & todoroki, his flashback of all might telling him to 'stop being such a cry baby' during the afo fight, the whole 'control your heart' plotline...) but THIS line in particular feels so significant for some reason. maybe cause this could easily be izuku recognizing himself in/through shigaraki? maybe bc it is so close to izuku acknowledging the lid hes put on his own sad & lonely past? maybe bc this is the closest we've ever gotten to izuku saying i'm not okay, even if he isn't actually talking about himself yet?

im trying really hard not to ramble too much in your inbox lol, but everything you said in your post about tomura & izuku really hit home for me, i think you're so right about them. and this line in particular is what makes me think we really are going to see some version of tomura being the one to finally break through (Decay) izuku's emotional blocks & barriers (something something locked door imagery), and that just makes me really excited. for both of them :')

YAY!! I’m so glad to hear you resonated with it. It’s otherwise a bit of a “if you know you know” sort of situation, and it felt good to actually explain it.

I had a “!” moment with that panel too, and also when he says he’s determined to break through Tomura’s barrier, expose and acknowledge his pain.

My immediate thought was, “Oh hey, I’m definitely not making this shit up after all, because Horikoshi is obviously intending to confront the concept of bottling up your emotions/your past. He literally just stated it. We're on the same page.” While it didn’t directly confirm anything about Izuku, it's at least something he is aware of, which is an important first step. There's a line in Sleeping At Last's 'Nine' that I was thinking about a lot as I was writing the latter part of that post: "I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes," which speaks to a need for Tomura to be Izuku's mirror, so that he can see himself.

Also, the revelation that Izuku is clinging to the idea that everyone has a "human heart" deep down is pretty clearly applicable to himself too, implying that he's dealing with a lack of self worth (a lot of Japanese fans were talking about this, and I think it doesn't come across as easily in English). I really love how Kudou clarified that Izuku is not naive for this. It's not the same as being blissfully ignorant to how cruel people can be. It's more like, "I need to believe in the worth of others or else I can't believe in myself." That's... so painful and beautiful.

I'm also excited for what comes next! Very soon!

[mushroom-jack]

Writer tag game

I wasn't tagged by anyone I just saw @bisexualnerd doing it and it looked fun + I love to talk about myself

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

77 publicly on my page, 23 posted anonymously, and then 7 orphaned... so 107 total! That's more than I thought tbh.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

714,735 according to my statistics page

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently I'm writing the most for Mother of Learning and A Study of Resonance, but I've historically written a lot for MCYT and various Danny Phantom crossovers. DP x RotG will always hold a special place in my heart.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This won't be accurate bc 4/5 my real top 5 fics by kudos were posted anonymously, but skipping over those...

when trouble comes (I'll be by your side)

blood on your hands

See My Crown (I am King)

An Emperor and his Heirs

Ice-fishing

5. do you respond to comments?

From time to time! I usually don't because I don't have the energy, and I feel like I would sound very repetitive just saying thank you, but I will usually reply if I feel like I have something substantial to say/to answer questions that won't be answered by the narrative. I'm also more likely to reply to longer comments or "regulars"/people who's usernames I recognize, lol.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, with the angstiest ending? Despite my enjoyment of angst I don't really do sad endings; I loved you (and it felt like dying) as well as and im lonely (there, i said it.) are both venty drabbles I wrote a long ass time ago, so that's as close as I've got.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

when trouble comes (I'll be by your side) has a good happy ending, and of course the whole point of lay all your love on me is that it's a alternate "happy ending" for ASOR. Usually I fuck with a good bittersweet ending though <3

8. do you get hate on fics?

Usually not! I would say I've only ever gotten a real "hate" comment once, and it was some asshole being like "stop asking for nice comments blah blah blah you like getting your dick sucked" as if the whole point of oral sex isn't to enjoy it? that was wild.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes!!! Though I usually post it on anon. I love writing power exchange and power imbalance and power dynamics as a whole – I've written lots of lovely, consensual scenes with on-screen negotiation... and also several where the thorough-line of the scene is lack of communication to the point of toxicity, LMAO. It's definitely rare for me to write anything that could be reasonably considered "vanilla"

I also enjoy writing some omegaverse from time to time!

10. do you write crossovers?

Lots and lots and lots! the The Coldhands Project is my baby, that's a Danny Phantom x Rise of the Guardians crossover. My current WIP is Zorian Kazinski and the Unfulfilled Prophecy, a MoL x HP crossover. There was a point in my life were I really wanted to write a DSMP x Hermitcraft crossover, though that never ended up coming to fruition... and I've also written some DPxDC, though that's on anon :)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, though I suspect someone's been heavily inspired by my work before, to the point of it being noticeable. Not that I can say anything, since that would make me a massive hypocrite lol... I definitely did the same when I was a baby fanfic writer in middle school and didn't understand the consequences of my actions. Hence those orphaned works.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope -w-

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Currently, it's definitely tompercy, and I've written upwards of 80k words about them... lol :3c

Of all time it probably would've been TNTduo if thinking about it these days didn't leave a sour taste in my mouth. I loved that ship for many years.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I doubt I will ever finish nine years with you... but I love Daine/Numair deeply in my heart. It would just take a lot of effort and research, so I doubt I'll ever come back to it.

It'll be a miracle if I ever finish The Coldhands Project but I'm utterly determined to.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love to do some heavy description to set the scene and mood, I love to do internal turmoil, and I love to write two characters who are insane about each other. And generally speaking, I'd say I can do a passable job at most scenes :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually so many. I really struggle with action scenes, whether the action be fighting or sex – I physically can't choreograph a sword fight, and how do you make thirty minutes of repetitive movement sound engaging? I really want to learn how to write intertwined plot lines, which I'm actively working on and attempting to write, but I'm forgetful as hell and it's hard for me to keep track of things... also, complex political intrigue isn't easy to come up with!

Finally, literally how do you write characters smarter than you? If they just think through things faster than average that's alright, because I can take as long as I want to think of what they would come up with in thirty seconds... but characters who just outright have more knowledge than you? Characters who are charming and charismatic, or excellent at reading social cues, when I'm incredibly asocial? Characters who are sharp, sarcastic, witty, and mean? I have such a hard time writing characters who know how to do things I'm absolutely clueless at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm actually doing this right now for Zorian Kazinski and the Unfulfilled Prophecy!!! Although, Ikosian is a fictional language so of course, I can just make things up. I get to play around a lot with how linguistics and translations work – for example, Zorian initially translates the Ikosian word for mind magic into the English "mind magic"... because, of course, that's what it's called in the text of MoL. But there might be a scene coming up where he decides a more elegant word for it would be "psychomancy" – [psycho-] translating from the Ikosian "mind", and [-mancy] translating from the Ikosian "magic". Isn't that sick???

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Avengers/MCU; I wrote parkner as well as irondad & spiderson stuff.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I have a list of these on my AO3 profile so I'm copy-pasting from there... in no particular order:

Shaky Ground also known as Pit AU, a bedrock bros centric, 2b2t-inspired, character study fic w plot in the background

when trouble comes (I'll be by your side), a deity 3/4 SBI & human!Tommy character study w plot in the background (you're sensing a pattern here)

deal with the devil is a demon!Wilbur x bartender/witch!Quackity tntduo

golden light, and what comes with it, a writing style study that's also a Jamie Bennett character study... lol

all my tompercy/ASOR fics. Having to choose favorites between these would take a whole nother list because I have many, many favorites

Anyways nobody tagged me for this so anyone can do it, do whatever you want forever

[maliro-t]

this is maybe a weird ip combination, but i was talking to a friend yesterday about grief in tms5 compared  to w*nd*v*sion bc the most recent ep got me thinking (this is a pretty long post about the former, sorry).

So Vision says “What is grief, if not love persevering?”, which is such a great line, and really resonated with a lot of people, including myself, and it’s really maybe the crux of this series that has been imo a really great exploration of grief. The whole ep was so impactful for me, and I had a moment after where I just went. Huh. In an entire season, tm never said that once. I think there are moments where they come close- Alice and Hamish’s conversation about his wife maybe, or that one fleeting genuine moment between Eliot and Fen in 5.11, or we could rope in the mountain of ghosts if you really stretch, but I think all of those still miss that mark.

So like, they frame the whole season around grief, but they don’t really say anything about it, or tell a valuable story about it. It feels honestly like they spend most of their time treating it like an obstacle that needs to be overcome and like, what are they trying to say with that? That it sucks? Because I would say that in general, people know that! Or was it that people who DON’T get over it have some sort of pity-worthy-but-ultimately-condemnable character defect? Like I’m sure they were aiming more to show how different people process things in different ways, and that wallowing forever can destroy you, which is...true, and maybe half executed well, but it also doesn’t feel valuable (especially when their queer characters are disproportionately targeted by it), and seems like it tries to put an acceptable timeline on Getting Over It Completely which just kinda Sucks. It probably wouldn’t harp on it this much if they hadn’t been so up their own asses at sdcc trying to explain how important and worthwhile this kind of story was. 

It’s also part of why where Eliot ends up at the end of the season feels so heinous, because he really is in pretty much the same place he started; he’s the only character who really ISN’T given the opportunity to ‘overcome’ grief. Again I don’t even feel like that’s a valuable story, but he just feel so singled out and it fucking Sucks that even within their shitty framework he ends up kind of damned. I think the stuff with Charlton was supposed to counteract it a little- I maintain that he says some good things that sort of recognize why tdk stuff was maybe not great, and as much as I Hate this I do actually think those little mosaic parallels were Intentional as part of that. The way Eliot actually reacts though is so not indicative of growth or any actual healing- it feels more regressive, like s1 Eliot just kind of taking what’s being offered to him to cope, and it’s Weird and Sad, besides the whole thing just being laughable.

And like, for the record, I’ve said this a few times, but I am someone who is really glad they watched s5, and really didn’t agree with a lot of the issues people on here took with it. But that also doesn’t mean that it was actually good on the whole, and one of it’s main failures was...kind of the exact thing they apparently felt so strongly about they had to make a whole season for which just. ugh.

My main reaction after 5.03 aired (which I love, and am grateful for) was just. AGONY. I could not fathom why this story about so much pain (and specifically queer pain) was the one that they wanted to tell, and unfortunately by the end there just isn’t really enough pay off for it to be worth it. 

Anyways idk if any of this makes sense lol, I’m kind of rambling at this point and I don’t know if anyone who follows me even Watched season 5 besides like One (1) person lmao. I have more to say Always, even like a year after the fact.

[lemongogo]

Hi, so I was wondering what u think this chapter is supposed to mean for hawks character? Is this him reluctantly following orders or is he seriously questioning what side he is on? Twice is obviously not gonna change, and I don’t think hawks understands how much his betrayal hurt twice. Twice devotes all of himself to his comrades happiness. He wouldn’t leave them. What was your opinion on hawks offering to help twice and not wanting to fight him? And twice’s reaction to it

(tl;dr at the bottom)

hey ! so i think a lot of hawks’ character is still shrouded in mystery given that we still don’t know much about him as an individual, as much as we are familiar with Hawks, his hero persona. but with that being said, I think this chapter was pretty clear in showing that there’s a part of hawks that realizes the current system is flawed, even if he isn’t currently planning to abandon the hpsc as some of us (such as myself) would like to see in the future

i think before the chapter released, there were two main paths that his story couldve taken.

in one situation, he could’ve incapacitated twice and taken him out of battle immediately. aka, no talking, no trying to explain himself, just wrap up the job he was given to do. this scenario would suggest that there is no capacity for hawks to change or evolve away from the hpsc. this outcome would mean that , for the rest of the story, he would most likely remain heavily tied to this idea that heroics hold a moral superiority over the villains. that sympathy shouldnt be spared for people like twice because they are “bad”. (aka, feed into this binary of good vs bad)

in the other situation, hawks would hesitate or try to reason with twice, and show that there’s some sort of internal conflict that he’s dealing with. this outcome, unlike with the first scenario, would insinuate that hawks’ story will, at some point, deviate from the path the hpsc intends for him to take. that he will, to some degree, question the institution he works in / contributes to. aka: is what he doing the right thing to do (emphasis on morally grey characters / situations unlike the black/white perspective of situation 1)

chapter 264 shows us that second situation: hawks, despite having the upper hand (cornering twice with all of his feathers drawn), does not immediately “finish the job”. he tries to reason with twice by saying that he can “rebuild” his life and start over. “atone for his crimes” and so on so forth. in my opinion, this is a really good step in hawks leaving the cage the hero commission forced him in at such a young age. i mean, as other people have already stated earlier, this isn’t something he will be able to overcome quickly or easily at all. but, it shows that he’s starting to make some decisions for himself. the hero commission does not seem like they would care for the rehabilitation of the criminals. it doesnt seem like they really care for how these people “feel” and would rather smush the rebellion if it meant upholding the current standard of society

the cool thing here is that we see the conflict between hawks and the commission in a very visual manner. scenes where hawks looks menacing are the scenes where he’s speaking with a sense of authority imposed by the hpsc and his status as the #2. this is where we see him talk about the logistics of his mission, and these lines are accompanied by an obscured, shadowed face. emotion is removed from the equation. he is cold and calculating. unforgiving.

compare it to when he starts to give twice a “chance”. we see his face and his emotions clear as day. from this point forward, we’re seeing what keigo wants to say, and what keigo wants to see from twice. his face is revealed when he says “because you are a good person”; he places faith in twice even when the commission couldnt (wont). 

he sees twice’s tears. he sees twice break down and it all ties back to the notion that , in my opinion, hawks WAS connected to jin, even though he might frame it as part of his mission. yes, he got “close” to twice because he had to. and yes he used / manipulated twice. we can’t deny that. but he also tells twice that he recognizes the good in him and, through his internal monologue in the end, we know !! that keigo did care for him to an extent. what twice said to him back at the end, the thing about friends caring about each other and wanting to help hawks out of the “cage” he was “stuck in” resonated with him!! and thats why he offered his help in getting twice “back on his feet”

to me, i feel like he does understand how much this betrayal hurt twice. i think he tries to put on a facade and act like it doesnt affect him bc its his job (as in . he’s not supposed to get attached) but then you see THIS panel at the end 

and its obvious he’s upset and reflecting on the idea that what he’s doing and how he’s using people isnt okay and that, yeah, jin has a point . somewhere along the way, heroics lost sight of what it meant to help people

idk. its a lot to process. maybe im reading this all wrong, but to Me i feel as though this is a sign that hawks isnt as tied to the commission as he originally was. because although he’s still doing his job as he’s supposed to, he’s also grieving? in his own way? recognizing the harm he’s caused twice and understanding that this is just a really shitty situation. like others have mentioned, i don’t think we could’ve expected this big “switch” in hawks right away but this is the perfect step in the right direction imo

to answer your question, i don’t think he’s questioning his position just yet but . he does seem to be emotionally distressed and perhaps critical of himself for what he has to do. @miriio​ describes this better than i can:

“if anything i think i’d be bad writing for hawks to join the league this quickly. we clearly see hawks struggling with his options and he genuinely seems to feel bad about what he’s doing….but what he’s doing is what he’s been trained to believe is right. if hawks really wanted to i’m sure he could’ve killed twice instantly. but he didn’t because he doesn’t want to. he even said he would help twice after because he knows he’s a good person. it’s clear hawks doesn’t wanna do any of this but as far as he’s concerned it’s his only option”

im really bad at explaining how i feel abt this but @miriio and @spinneraki both make ! really good points on what this means for him as a character too if u want to check out those discussions :-)

tl;dr this chapter shows hawks has the capacity to change, given his choice to “talk it out” with twice and his later reflection on how the “bad ones are always us hero scum”. 

[chaotic-catra]

I wrote my reaction to Evermore when I heard it for the first time a week ago and I don't know what to do with it so here it is:)

Long story short: beautiful song, loved the references to Wonderland (And I fell from the pedestal right down the rabbit hole / We took a wrong turn and we fell down a rabbit hole) and Look What You Made Me Do (Missing me at the golden gates they once held the keys to / I don't like your kingdom keys they once belonged to me). I love how the melody is simple and how it’s not a “raising from the bottom” kind of song. That’s literally the best way to say it: long story short. She doesn’t care about the details, about who did what, because her mind is set elsewhere.

Marjorie: 30 seconds in and I just can't shut up about how taylor's voice was MADE for this kind of music, it is so soft and smooth like an asmr. It feels like it flows through the song. I love that the lyrics are really straight forward. Beautiful beautiful beautiful song just like Soon you'll get better. I like how it takes you a couple of minutes to understand where the song is going to.

Evermore: It gives me the feeling that Evermore and Long story short are two sides of the same coin, they talk about (almost) the same moment in time but one from a happy and hopeful perspective and the other one is still not so over all those dark moments. Evermore would happen a bit before LSS, it’s about this point in which you look back and you can't understand how thing went the way they went, what was the moment when things started to fall apart. And you are not in the eye of the storm anymore, but you are still not very far from it either. Is like everything that happened drowned and now you are alone with no energy and no direction and no perspective. “I'm on waves, out being tosed” Is like a transition song, it starts right after hitting rock bottom and follows her "recovery" until she finds something to hold on to: “In the cracks of light I dreamed of you. It was real enough to get me through.”

Happiness: CATRADORA. NOTHING LEFT TO SAY. CATRADORA. happiness is.. a lot. I love it.. It’s one of those songs that make u say wow.. she really captured this feeling incredibly. She said all there is to say, and showed all there was to show. It's like a flash of sanity in a turbulent time of transition.

Dorothea: CATRADORA CATRADORA CATRADORA also The Lumineers vibes. Dorothea sounds like a song to a friend who left for college or something like that, looking for better things because when living in a small town they tried their best to have a good time but they always knew they would never be 100% happy there and that’s the only reason why you don’t get mad at them or ask them to stay. aka She Ra if Catra wasn't left alone on a toxic and dangerous place when Adora left. It also sounds like “Sedona” by Houndmouth.

No body no crime: I didn't like this one much when I heard it for the first time but checking the lyrics is just one of those songs that make u go "this girl has such a talent when it comes to story telling". Her voice is so hypnotic, one of my favourite things about both folklore and evermore is how deep, calm, soft and SOLID her voice sounds. It was made for this kind of music. Also I love how she said “I sent this to my friend who is most likely to commit murder” SJDSDSJSJSK.

Coney island: I wish it didn’t remind me of certain things and I wish I didn’t understand certain lyrics but in the other hand, STRONG CATRADORA SONG from Adora’s pov. Adora feeling guilty for hurting Catra when she left and for making her feel like she didn’t matter to her. Realizing that no matter how many other wonderful people she meets, she’d never have a bond like the one she shared with Catra. I’ll elaborate on this:

Break my soul in two looking for you but you're right here (Adora looking for someone like Catra on every new person she meets but realizing that there’s no point because SHE ALREADY HAD A CATRA) /If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to? (Catra being the only family she had for most part of her life) /And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go (The whole She-Ra thing happened way too fast, and she was introduced to tons of people who admired and revered because they only saw the legendary warrior in her, but when things calmed down she felt Catra’s absence) /The question pounds my head "What's a lifetime of achievement?" If I pushed you to the edge (feeling guilty for, partly, being the reason why Catra made so many bad decisions  by becoming she ra) /Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day? (Catra waiting for Adora to come back to the horde) /And when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face (literally the vision she has at the heart of etheria) I could make a whole gifset out of this but I don’t know how to download the episodes

‘tis the damn season: I first said that Dorothea was about someone (X) talking to their friend who leaves their town. Listening to this I’m 100% sure that that person is Dorothea. (EDIT: I made a post with some parallels). And from this POV, you can tell that Dorothea wasn’t totally happy with her choice. She misses home, misses “X”, and recognizes not only that even if she left her town, she can’t escape from it, but also that she didn’t found what she was looking for in LA. There's an ache in you (Dorothea leaving) put there by the ache in me (Dorothea needing to leave bc she wasn’t there). Also, in “Dorothea” it doesn’t sound like “X” is sad about D leaving, but in this song she says that X is lying, and that X actually suffers because of it.

Willow: It's a really nice song, is catchy, chill, it's not gonna happen but it could have a really cool remix (EDIT: SOMEONE REALLY MADE A REMIX AND IT'S AMAZING). I don’t resonate much with the lyrics but the phrase “The more that you say the less I know, wherever you stray I follow, I'm begging for you to take my hand; wreck my plans” is just. so. beautiful. Yes, I’m avoiding the m*n part. Sorry Joe, ily.

Ivy: I didn't resonate much with this song so my brain stopped paying attention and instead it realized that the "How’s one to know?" part sounds EXACTLY like that Rose and Rosie song that they made to promote their sponsor that goes SUUUU-UUUURF SHARK. Biggest discovery at the moment if you ask me.

Gold rush: I don't have anything mature to say about this one. My leo ass wants someone singing things like this about me, that's it. sorry. About the music it sounds AMAZING I like the "magical" sound and the fairy tale atmosphere. I love the rhythm.

Cowboy like me: I can relate it to my own experiences but I don't thing they have much to do with the actual point of the song. Maybe I got this one wrong but I love this concept of "I wouldn't like to love someone like me, and you and me are made of the same". Champagne problems: First thought CATRADORA VIBES (Adora leaving Catra behind) “I dropped your hand while dancing, left you out there standing, crestfallen on the landing”. (EDIT: Now that I’ve listened to the album more times I like this one way more and the bridge is BIBLICAL) Closure: The “metal” noises reminds me of the American Horror Story’s theme song.

[bronanlynch]

hamlet, much ado, CORIOLANUS, henry the fifth (guess which one I had to c&p)

tbh I assumed u were just really really excited abt coriolanus which like. valid and mood

HAMLET: Do you have any specific/creative ideas on staging a production of Hamlet?

oh boy do I........ ok first of all I would def borrow some of the set/lighting stuff from the production that I saw a few months ago (the one with ruth negga as hamlet) bc there was a lot of really really cool stuff w doors and silhouettes that I thought was super effective. also extremely a fan of having hamlet played by a woman or a transmasc actor bc like. ok. I don’t think trans!hamlet was necessarily what that production was going for but that’s how it came across to me, a transmasc person like. I’ve seen hamlet played by women in a way that felt like hamlet’s a woman in that version, regardless of how much or little they change the script/pronouns. the ruth negga version was like. oh. hamlet is trans and also even if that wasn’t what they were going for it’s still the only portrayal of a transmasc character that’s ever resonated with me personally. not to get into gender stuff but I very rarely feel like I recognize myself in fictional depictions of trans people but something abt this specific hamlet just. really vibed w me y’know? something about the mannerisms and the costuming and the way his depression isn’t specifically abt his gender stuff but that sure doesn’t help (all the layers of being referred to/referring to himself as unmanly, talking abt hating femininity contrasted w how much this version of hamlet clearly cared abt ophelia+gertrude, another reason for everyone to disapprove of his relationship, etc)

anyway tl;dr my ideal production would make hamlet trans, also I’ve been kinda vaguely considering what the costuming might look like if u set it further back in history like. more like the time that the sources shakespeare was working on were from bc then I could use the stuff I learned for my dissertation abt early medieval clothing for something

also I hate how every single production I’ve ever seen has done ophelia’s ~madness so I wanna do a version where she’s playing the same game hamlet is of like. pretending to ~go mad~ so that ppl won’t see her as a threat except it doesn’t work bc there’s a moment when she’s like. giving out the flowers and too much of her anger comes through at claudius. when she leaves the stage for the last time claudius gestures for one of his guards to follow her out with the implication that he’s having her killed (later, when gertrude comes back to say that she’s dead, so does that guard and claudius nods like. yeah good job u did the thing). also laertes tries to follow ophelia when she leaves but claudius stops him, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t play it like that he can’t just let her go like that

also also if hamlet doesn’t die in horatio’s arms what’s even the point, from a narrative perspective as well as a homoeroticism perspective. also in general horatio needs to be present throughout and like. important? bc too many production neglect horatio but like. he’s the one who makes ppl care abt hamlet anyway I’m gonna stop now before I go into an entire essay

wait no that reminds me of the actual academic essay I did write abt generational conflict in hamlet and why u gotta cast the parent generation as like. obviously older than hamlet’s generation in order to get that across. also bc lots of productions cast hamlet & gertrude closer in age than hamlet & ophelia which. hmmmm. don’t love that

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: Go off about the best female character.

beatrice muchado is a strong contender but also everyone already loves her so I have less to say that hasn’t already been said, I would be tempted to say viola twelfthnight if I weren’t so firmly on team viola/cesario is trans, I love ophelia a lot but I hate the ~madness scenes, most of my favorite women in shakespeare productions I’ve seen have been women playing male roles like please I would love to talk abt the all-female julius caesar where brutus was a butch lesbian, or like. gwendoline christie as titania in midsummer except titania and oberon’s roles were swapped (which I have mixed feelings about bc the oberon/nick bottom stuff is played as a joke which like. to be fair that’s how titania/bottom is usually done and I know the joke isn’t actually just ‘haha they’re gay’ it’s abt the weird magic shit and the fact that puck and titania are messing with them but. y’know. the experience of being in an audience laughing at two dudes kissing did not make me personally feel great. however I fucking loved pretty much everything else about the production so it balances out to still being the best midsummer I’ve ever seen and also one of the best plays I’ve ever seen full stop)

also best is such a vague and subjective thing like. Idk I love a lot of them for different reasons, y’know? I do think beatrice and maybe juliet are the ones I would say are the best written, gertrude is a close third bc it really depends on how she’s played in any given production but one of my favorite parts of hamlet is in the last scene when she drinks the poison if it’s framed as her knowing exactly what’s going on and daring claudius to stop her and admit his own guilt

CORIOLANUS: Which gay pairing has the most evidence? (Conversely, which pairing do you wish had evidence?)

cesario/viola+orsino is canon send tweet. but really like. usually the cross-dressing heroine changes back into women’s clothing at the end to restore heteronormativity or whatever and I know that viola does say “hey I’m gonna go change” but never actually does and orsino still calls them cesario after that in one of his very last lines so like. I’m just sayin

 brutus and cassius’s deaths are basically the same as romeo and juliet’s, and are therefore also a pyramus and thisbe retelling, in this essay I will

HENRY V: What is the best monologue/soliloquy? in general I’m not that into king lear but edmund’s “now gods, stand up for bastards” monologue is extremely good and sexy, somewhere there’s a recording of riz ahmed doing it that’s just. chef’s kiss

as a hamlet stan my favorite hamlet soliloquy is his first one, the one that starts with “oh that this too too sullied flesh would melt,” and ends with “but break my heart for I must hold my tongue” which not to be a basic bitch but that’s one of my favorite lines in anything ever

also antony’s funeral speech for caesar gets me (almost) every goddamn time. the one singular exception to this was the shakespeare in the park production a few years ago where they were trying to do shallow modern political commentary that really didn’t work and actively undermined the themes of the play

[plush-anon]

tejoxys

I finally saw the Endgame spoilers clip

*rubbing my grubby little hands together bc I love a good roast*

Welp, if it’s a roast you want, a roast you shall receive!

(Note: I think I spoke vaguely enough about everything big in the Clips below NOT to warrant an outright Spoilers tag, so I’m leaving it with just an Endgame Leaks tag and a ‘Read More’ line. Message me if you’ve a.) seen the Clips/gone scrolling for more info in the Spoilers tag and b.) think it’s more spoilery than I try to vague it to be, and I’ll tag it post haste)

Christ Almighty, the Clips just make everything look like an enormous MESS.

Thor looks just... awful. In every scene. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE HE’S IN IN THESE SPOILERIFIC CLIPS, HE LOOKS TERRIBLE. There isn’t a single one where he doesn’t look like a mess. Everyone else gets a glow-up (new hair, tattoos, freshly shaved) and looks put together in general (which is admittedly baffling - really, EVERYONE looks good in the face of mass genocide and failure to stop it from occurring?) but Thor decided to whip out his Big Lebowski cosplay at their big ‘save the world’ get-together... why??? (seriously Thor, was a shower too much to ask for?)

Now, if we’d had ANY inclination that anyone else looked rough aside from Tony and Nebula a la the stuck-in-space teaser trailers we saw originally, that would be one thing. Everyone there lost a loved one, everyone there has probably had to come to terms with the fact that they FAILED TO STOP THANOS when they were all right freakin’ there! NO ONE SHOULD LOOK 100% OKAY HERE. Show me dishevelment, poor coping mechanisms, show them having to struggle for weeks (maybe even MONTHS) after the events.

But nope! They are ALL in perfect health according to the trailers we’ve seen before. Even Tony, after nearly dying in space multiple times, just takes a bath and appears to be in fine health after getting back (with some bags under the eyes). Everyone’s perfectly fine, except for Thor (and maaaaaybe Hawkeye, who looks to have gone full-on Frank Miller Batman in his quest for vengeance, but still had time to get a mullet and some sweet sleeve tats in between!).

Nice.

This is a MASSIVE problem with the MCU as a whole, and has been for a while: their repeated attempts to gloss over and sweep consequences of mental trauma and illness away under the rug until it suits them for plot convenience or for comedy. You see this in the Thor sequels a LOT (Selvig being institutionalized for comedy after being possessed, Loki being kept in literal solitary confinement for roughly 2 years, Valkyrie’s PTSD and alcoholism played for laughs, mocking Loki’s suicide attempt from Thor 1 and the actual death he survived in Thor 2, ALL of Odin’s outright dickishness as a parent a la narcissistic parenting, Hela being imprisoned in isolation for literal CENTURIES), as well as anything to do with Tony Stark and his thought process (everything he does is pretty much as a result of the trauma he endures, and everyone in the Avengers just??? doesn’t recognize it??? and attacks him for it without going ‘hey, maybe he’s got PTSD’ or something???? what the hell, man). GOTG does a MUCH better job of it with Rocket and Nebula, but Mantis is left woefully unrealized (thought they do touch upon it briefly, and handle it with relative seriousness). 

Either way, Thor concerns me a LOT, because he is the king of a very small group of Asgardian refugees (and given the scene that shows in the Clips, as well as the appearance of another Thor character later on, we KNOW there were multiple survivors), trying to find a new life on Midgard in the face of not one, not two, but THREE fcuking tragedies - the destruction of Asgard, Thanos’ attack on their ship, and the Snap. Why is he the way he is, in the location he’s in (which actually appears to be the apartment from Team Thor’s mockumentary)? He is the only semblance of leadership left for these people who have lost everything and he’s Like That. Where is a Thor stressed and fretting over being fully responsible for once in his life over the lives of his people, over what little remains of his kingdom? Where is a Thor struggling with guilt as he tries to build a new life for his people, struggling with rule and politics and trade? WHERE IS HE??? Bc right now, all I see is Chris Hemsworth auditioning for the remake of The Big Lebowski, having wandered onto the Avengers set instead of his audition location by mistake -_-

The scenes with Steve leave me absolutely baffled (and some of them just ooze cheese, and not in a great way), because how in the fcuk do we get to those?? His scenes feel the most disjointed here, bc they all have a similar vibe to his personality in Whedon’s Avenger movies. Kind of the ‘Boy Scout’ presentation, which is particularly odd in the aftermath of the Russo Fools’ two Cap movies and Infinity Fcuk Up, which made him more serious, less - bright? I can’t think of a good word for it rn. This is particularly highlighted in his big ‘save the world’ speech we hear - it feels kind of like an ‘okay team, time to save the world!’ speech, instead of something more serious. Is it to try to bring everyone’s hopes up? What else is missing here that we’re not seeing? Why does he feel like he’s back to this persona in light of all that’s happened? Is it to highlight how good and awesome he is in order to {SPOILER REDACTED} like we see in that final sequence? (Also, the imagery for SPOILER REDACTED, while meant to be badass and awesome, feels... kind of awkward, IMHO. Which is weird, bc I thought it would be more amazing and awesome. IDK, maybe I’m just super jaded with the MCU by now).

Carol Danvers’ scenes are actually pretty on point. She gets to be a badass in her fighting scenes and gets an awesome new look that pretty much only functions to further cement her Lesbian Status. The only way she would be more obviously a Lesbian is if her suit were in the colors of (one of) the Lesbian Pride flags and a Cyndi Lauper song was playing in the background (or maybe Joan Jett).

Hulk/Bruce Banner... I don’t even know how they’re going to swing this. Like, at all. I’m particularly baffled bc given how some of the scenes appear to be set early in the film, it resolves extremely quickly to get to that point, and after all the drama of Hulk not coming out in Infinity Fcuk Up, I just - who the fcuk knows at this point. Also, that one scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} could be effective depending on how they set it up, but then... why exactly is he the one in the scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} and not Carol or Thor, due to Obvious Plot Reasons?

Finally, Peter Parker. He’s adorable in his scenes, ‘nuff said.

Now, after seeing these scenes, I am left EXTREMELY CONCERNED for this movie’s tone. Granted, it was only 5 minutes of footage for a 3 hour movie. Quite clearly, there is a LOT we aren’t seeing. All the same though, it feels extremely disjointed. I know they’re trying to pull away from the dark and grim ending of Infinity War, but these clips make it all feel a little too casual, a little too ‘let’s go beat the bad guy!’ as opposed to ‘we have suffered a great failure and a great tragedy - as heroes, we MUST work to undo this for the sake of those we have lost, and everyone left alive who has lost the people they loved’. Idk, that may just be me on this one.

But you know the worst part of all of THIS? The worst part is that this is probably what we’re going to get on the release date. This isn’t a trailer Marvel released with deleted live-action scenes featuring minimal to no CGI, or sections clumsily edited over with explosion effects - this was a slew of scenes with a TON of special effects fully rendered in painstaking detail, recorded with a phone on its side in what looks like a movie theater, with foreign subtitles on the screen (I honestly don’t recognize the alphabet, but it might be Middle Eastern). That CGI is expensive and time-consuming as all hell to do, and considering how many of these scenes had it? Either they wasted a shit-ton of money on scenes they didn’t use (seriously, a number of them have Rocket in them, or Hulk - those aren’t the easiest characters to render, I would imagine), or these are in the movie, end of story.

Not to mention, TPTB clamped down on these Clips HARD - like, IMMEDIATELY - as opposed to the process behind deleting Reddit comments. The fast and heavy response from Marvel and the Russo Fools, COMPLETE WITH OFFICIAL TWEET LETTER, along with a Chris Evans tweet not to Spoil the Shit, was to chastise the ones who did (which is somewhat warranted here, given how extreme the security on leaks for Endgame have been).

This response, combined with the quality of the clips, and some of the plot threads that actually seem to be mentioned/referenced in the Lego sets, leads me to believe it’s real.

And I’m not really impressed.

On the flipside, I’m actually kind of relieved, knowing what I’m going into when I walk into the theater opening weekend. I’m not going to be completely shocked and horrified by what I see. This works well in breaking the ice, and also eases some of my anxiety on what to expect (bc I have had a LOT of it for this movie).

The downside to this is that at the end of the day, this is what 22 films ultimately amounted to. Something that feels a little too glib, a little too rushed. Something that doesn’t feel like it’s doing right by the characters who were left, and the characters we love (at least, not in full).

I understand that this is an insurmountable task - to bring to film, with limited time, a satisfying conclusion to so many characters. To arrange hundreds of people within thousands of hours on a set budget to bring this massive story, building for over ten years now, to a close that will resonate and sate with as many fans as possible. But I read fanfiction that does just that with less time, fewer moments, no budget - hell, there are 10k oneshots that rewrote Infinity Fcuk to make sense and treat the characters with the respect that they’ve earned over 20+ films.

This? Doesn’t feel like those.

I will happily admit, I am guesstimating a LOT here, based off of what essentially amounts to 3% of the movie (slightly more, depending on how long the credits are sans post-credit scenes, but still roughly 3%). There is a LOT that is missing, which could fill in these gaps successfully and make this whole post look completely pointless. If it does that, I will gleefully concede that it fooled us on this one. Maybe all of these scenes really ARE hoaxes (even if they were painstakingly subtitled in a foreign language and shown on a movie theater-size screen, but I digress).

But the framing of the scenes looks like it was meant to showcase what the movie would be as a whole, in terms of tone and what to expect. And from that, I’m not excited, or overjoyed. I’m just tired.

And I cannot WAIT for this all to be over, bc I’m fcuking exhausted just watching 5 minutes. Lord knows what 182 of them will leave me like in the end.

*peers up at massive unending ranty analysis post* ...ah. Well then. that happened again. Ah well. Hope you had fun reading my nonsense brain goop, kiddos.

[howling--fantods]

i’ve been rewatching all these seasons of snl on hulu and they only have the 70s and then from when jimmy fallon left forward (idk was that 2004?) and i’ve never been a huge fan of andy samberg and i think i get why. i don’t really think he is versatile at all, he is one of those cast members who is kinda constantly playing a version of himself, and when he is in a supporting role it often really takes me out of the sketch bc it doesn’t always work with the sketch. sometimes i think he is really funny, sometimes he really bugs the crap out of me. i think the digital shorts were obviously REVOLUTIONARY but i don’t love all of them bc some of them are just too much andy samberg. for me there is a very fine line between GREAT and annoying af for me with him. i think it is also just bc he started at the same time as bill hader and quickly became super popular while it took awhile for people to recognize bill’s brilliance. he is easily one of my all-time favorite cast members because of his versatility, he can do literally EVERYTHING and he always brings something to every sketch he is in. he is one of the all-time great impressionists bc it isn’t just about accuracy, he transforms each impression into a character. dana carvey was great at that too, they almost approach their impressions like they do their characters, it is like the reason why will ferrell’s george w. bush is the most iconic of all the cast members who played him, it isn’t just an impression, it transcends the source material. dana carvey was the master of that, but so was dan ackroyd, billy crystal, and phil hartman, recently kate mckinnion is AMAZING at that. all my favorite cast members are like that (and i just named them for the most part), the ultimate team players bc they bring something special in a supporting role, AND kill in their own stuff. 

i remember pretty much right after “lazy sunday” andy samberg got kinda huge (like everyone was in love with him) and he deserved it! he was the first cast member who tapped into the zeitgeist of the “youtube generation” or whatever, he did a lot to shape that culture bc he really brought a more millennial perspective (although i hate to use that term bc he isn’t technically of that generation, but he definitely channelled that perspective). personally, i’ve never been as connected to stuff that really resonates with the rest of my/your generation, for whatever reason, which is probably why he isn’t always my thing either. he reminds me the most of adam sandler bc his perspective was so fresh and young that he got huge instant recognition for that. but rewatching all these seasons has put into focus how consistently stellar the supporting cast has been for the past 10 years. while andy, bill, kristen wiig, and fred armisen in many ways defined the tone of the show during their time, jason sudeikis, will forte, bobby moynihan, and nasim pedrad were all such solid team players and did consistently great characters and impressions that really don’t get enough recognition. and kenan quietly grew to be such an mvp, i really hope he stays a while longer bc he has totally come into his own and just consistently kills it. man i love this show.

[thirdmagic]

I love this.... I love this so, so much, god. Just-- I love that Jeanne's lack of anger or resentment over her life pisses him off and how much. I love how much he hates her for it and so viscerally. Down to the point where he starts convincing himself that she's just denying it because there's no way she really hate or resent the people who betrayed her in life.

I mean, it's so natural, isn't it? When he talks about believing in God, believing in humanity, and being betrayed-- isn't that just a perfect description for himself, too? Both of their stories are defined not just by betrayal, but by being good, innocent people convicted of crimes on false charges due to corruption. Seeing Jeanne not feel a sliver of resentment of regret is maddening enough-- because look at him, and look at her, having faced the same situation, and how they reacted to it? It's much the same reason Kirei hates Kiritsugu so much-- to Dantès, Jeanne should be a kindred spirit, a reflection of himself, but instead, her ability to forgive and let go and not feel a flicker of hatred or even mild anger at everyone who betrayed her as compared to him must feel like an insult to his life and his very existence. (I wonder if on some level, if he had manifested in a different class, or as the real Count from the end of the book who attained his salvation, he would have envied it, as well? Edmond from the end probably would realize he would have been better off with her approach.) His rage and hatred for at her lack of rage and hatred is very believable and resonates very deeply with me, here.

But even worse is the fact that not only is she true and genuine when she says she's never felt any anger-- the anger that defines him-- it's her wanting to save him? It's her so much as talking about salvation? That she recognizes what a miserable state of being he's in, just how unfortunate his lot is, and instead of disgust or hate like he's meant to receive as his Class pertains, instead she pities him? I... can't even imagine how much more insulting that must be in his perspective. Not even because it's the sort of high and mighty condescending sort of pity-- no, it's perfectly genuine and well intentioned on her part, and that makes him all the angrier at her for it. Hell, maybe angry isn't even the right word-- that huge 'shut up' isn't even just pissed, it's downright upset, I think. It’s much, much more visceral--she hit a seriously sore spot there until he can't even argue with her coherently. Her pity and attempts at salvation is something he very clearly and purely does not want and doesn't want her even trying to give him.

(And sidenote: I absolutely love 'People will forgive, God may forgive, but I will not!'. It's such a good line bc it both really reads like it's straight from the book but also defines how distinct this adaptation/version of Dantès is-- it's at once a little different from book!Count's relationship and approach to god but still true to the connection in spirit.)

[stonedlennon]

hoooo BOY have u seen two of us bc i just watched it and now i'm a bloody wreck of emotions

OKAY SO remember everyone when i was like “mm idk if i want to watch that film for bogus aesthetic reasons” and everyone was like UM, DO IT, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, and then jenn @sunlaceandpaperflowers was like dude just give it a go i promise you it will be worth it. WELL like last week i came home at night, pretty drunk, from a party, and i didn’t want to go to bed yet so i was like, well why don’t i watch two of us, this will be a grand idea! and it ended with me crying and listening to the beach boys for like two hours as i sobered up? and making all of those emo posts about brian wilson? yeah okay so all of this is like, related, so HERE ARE MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS FILM AS A RESULT 

DIALOGUE. i know everyone goes on about the dialogue but like.... this will sound like i’m super up myself but i was astounded and delighted to recognize a pattern in the dialogue that like, i would have written if it were a fic? THE FILM WAS LITERALLY FAN FIC like i was watching it feeling as if someone just decided to make a low budget remake of their fave otp fic.. so many of the lines really resonated with me. so many. and several just felt precisely how john or paul would have truly reacted in that scenario. some have mentioned that the dialogue seemed contrived, and i don’t really think that’s the case. i think it only appeared that way because the script had a place to go, a narrative destination, and with the circular, insular way of john/paul’s dynamic/conversation, i can see how they had to pull out and try and bring it towards a conclusion. i think the scene where they’re sitting on the couch, smoking, and watching tv is one of the greatest things i’ve ever seen. that struck me as so true to reality. i thought it was an excellent way to develop their relationship, given not twenty minutes prior they were literally sitting at opposite ends of the room. and the kitchen scene, where they’re sharing the phone and going back and forth to the popcorn on the stove? oh my god. it was just.. realistic. slice of life. you don’t get that a lot in films outside independent productions and i think it worked perfectly, not least because it highlighted the mundanity of john’s life, but also because it felt very much as it does when you drop by a friend’s house and they’re doing things and you’re just hanging around. they had a simultaneous familiarity and a tension that ebbed and flowed very naturally.

THE KISS. idk what everyone’s going on about - didn’t strike me as romantic at all. longing, sure, on john’s part. and perhaps with an echo of something they had when they were younger. but definitely not a kiss with intent, or with the purview of getting paul into bed. it was a kiss purely out of humour/nostalgia. that’s really what i felt. i mean, when it happened, it was so quick and fluid that it didn’t actually stand out from the rest of their interactions. i thought it very natural and it felt perfect in that moment. 

THE ACTING. oh my god. like. it was really good. i’m kind of a film snob, full disclosure, and there were elements that indicated this were a made for tv production, but overall i thought it all very strong. i think actually that the john actor didn’t resonate as much as paul.. interestingly enough. which can be understood, because john is mad as a box of frogs and twice as hard to comprehend. but i think playing into that without making it seem exaggerated would have been a very difficult acting challenge, and i think he did a really excellent job. even the accents were spot on, or at least pretty similar. i doubt it was a mistake that john slipped into some americanisms now and then - very true to form. and if it was a mistake, well, i’m glad they kept them!

YOKO. her presence in the film is especially interesting to me. because even when they’re not talking about yoko, they’re talking about yoko. they are in her space, they remember what it was like in the beginning, and you got the impression that she was a third character in the film, a visceral and powerful force that paul can’t ignore and john defers to. the ending, where john was curled on the floor on the phone to her, was especially painful. it was painful because on the surface it felt like things were going well - but for paul to come back and find him in that way only highlighted the complexity of john’s character and the emotional depth of his relationship with yoko (read: co-dependence). like, paul didn’t know it was still that bad. nor did the audience. because john plays it off so easily, so well, so normal, until he’s not. i thought that was a great way to end. it felt very real.

OVERALL i really enjoyed it. i went in with (admittedly) low expectations and i left it in 1. tears, and 2. super emo. it felt like an excellent fan fic. and i think that’s a compliment! i was especially struck with the dialogue (very witty), and the situation (humorous and odd enough to ring true). i think that out of all the fictional adaptations or versions of john and paul, this is the best. not excellent but certainly worthy of note, and i think it really lives up to the hype.