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#bcs it gives me so much comfort but then also stresses me out sm 🫠
noxtivagus
·
2 years
Text
ffxiv's so healing
#🌙.rambles
#joke i lowkey have an toxic relationship w it
#bcs it gives me so much comfort but then also stresses me out sm 🫠
#'ffxiv's so healing' - i say while listening to scream
#i rmber a friend asked how i was doing yesterday and i replied with
#'SLOWLY GOING INSANE BUT IT'S BEEN GREAT 🤩'
#which is actually very true 😭😭
#it is a bit concerning that i can't help but relate to lahabrea a lot
#not specifically his own experiences but i think the intensity of emotion
#bcs holy fuck imagine
#the despair the anger he would've felt
#falling for someone only to later realize that. (maybe) they never even loved you back
#they just wanted to use you
#imagine the loneliness he would've felt to hide the truth away. to be so hated and scorned by the person you protected
#he regretted love as a husband; what wld become of him then as a father?
#imagine the emptiness he would feel if
#maybe w the sundering
#if eric dies.
#after athena he would't succumb to love again but imagine if he finds it again instead as a father; only to lose it again
#i love how the lyrics of the song reflects sm in all of the charas
#it's so painful. it's harsh. it's dark
#i fucking love it
#i don't know how that wld feel but. uh. i'm empathetic if that says smth
#& my emotions have always been intense
#being angry n broken feels better than emptiness for me
#yeah ngl there's smth wrong w my head probably
#sometimes i'm normal but i also really have a kind of crazy side ig
#....scorpio sun capricorn moon? 🫠
#💀 basically tho typically these emotions sre a bit more balanced. i guess you cld say rn that
#rn i'm leaning more towards the vibes of hell ( rather than heaven ). fallen angels. red. lucilius > lucifer.
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