#bcuz i dont really Think too hard while im writing? i just Go

[catmaidetho]

:0 i would love to hear how you write etho!

after making that post and going to bed i've realized that it's so hard for me to describe all the thoughts that go into it so

tl;dr: i have consumed an ungodly amount of ethoslab content to the point that writing him is kind of second nature

you could also probably go thru my archive for etho text posts i've rb'd, cuz those have also influenced me a lot and i'll link a few at the end. i also sincerely recommend watching and rewatching his hc7 because that is like, everything i love about etho in 40-smth episodes.

long and kind of complicated/messy answer under the cut. i tried to go as in-depth as i could w/o being overly rambly

when you think of etho, what do you think of? you probably think "mysterious cryptid redstone guy who is scary." that is the devil talking. he is not mysterious, a cryptid, or scary at all. he is just a guy who's reputation is bigger than him.

here's some (very basic) traits i'd assign to etho before any of those:

humble

reflective*

confident

competitive

friendly

mischievous

avoidant

*reflective in the sense that he mirrors other people's energy.

originally i had a whole rant typed up explaining these personality traits, but i realize you are probably a fellow ethogirl and a lot of these need no explanation. if you want an explanation/to better understand why i chose those personality traits, i am going to once again recommend his hc7, as well as checking out anything he's done with team canada (pick a series and just start watching. if you dont know where to start, one of my beloved mutuals has a neat little guide for ppl new to etho's content that includes some staple team canada content.)

some things i apply to my etho that make sense to me that might go overlooked by the casual enjoyer:

he is so incredibly neurodivergent coded. i am not going to make any assumptions on etho's brain structure, i dont think its my place, but seriously. give your etho some silly thing to be super passionate about on the side. make him easily distracted/get off topic easily. make his storage system start out well but quickly descent into chaos as he gets too lazy to use it.

he goes with the flow! this goes along with me describing him as a reflective person. he "yes, and"'s stuff like there's no tomorrow. he takes whatever energy is thrown his way, and he chucks it right back at you. he gets dragged into shenanigans and goes "oh this might as well happen! let's see how far we can take it."

he likes to avoid problems he doesn't see as immediately his own/aren't immediately affecting him. his response to moon big was literally "i'll let the other hermits deal with it. look this low gravity makes not having elytra so much easier! lets go build a bee farm." if it doesn't affect him right this instant, or there's nothing he can do about it, he will worry about it later (and probably forget to worry about it.)

he prioritizes the "fun" factor above all else. if you know what the bamboozler is, you understand this. also, the bee farm i just mentioned. if there is a very efficient/straight-forward way to do something or a very fun way to do something, he will go with the fun way most of the time. if the only option is boring, he'll find a way to make it fun.

his reputation precedes him, but his reputation is a little inaccurate to modern times. someone who doesn't know him very well might think he's menacing or scary, but the reality is that he's just a silly little guy. don't get me wrong, there is a reason he's seen as menacing, and if he wants to be he can be, but most of the time he's just here to chill.

his humor is very roundabout. he tells a very long story to get to the punchline, or he tells something that plays into stereotypes so much it's ridiculous. here are some examples. he is also a professional "your mom" joker, like i literally cannot link enough examples his staple joke is "your mom."

most importantly, i think, is that etho doesn't take himself too seriously. i think a lot about the quote from cleo that goes like, "etho doesnt say he's a grownup, he giggles and runs away." so dont make etho too serious!

HE IS LITERALLY JUST SOME GUY. i cant stress this point enough. he should have "just some guy" energy. tiny voice he's doing the best he can. things happen to him and he is mildly bewildered. something goes wrong and he needs like, one second dedicated to panicking before he does anything about it.

just for bonus content, some of my favorite posts/clips that heavily influence the way i interpret/write etho. he is so ^-^ | he calls food poisoning an adventure | evidence that etho's a former scene kid | obviously your mother never loved you 'cause you're some sorta monster :) | "you jerk" compilation | etho teasing scar in among us

[transfemlogan]

You are so right about that post you made about sanders sides, the show has lost so much enjoyability and this fandom is so fucking annoying when people voice their criticisms. Being a fan of tss is so miserable

it sure is. why are we still here. theres nothing here 4 us. we are complaining abt the series & fans & were still... here. why are you still here, anon. why are we both still here.

can u guys tell i have been thinking about leaving this fandom for a 2nd time

i know that sounds like a . happy fun time but really i mainly feel pushed out. im blocked by a majority of fans, both here and instagram apparently (and twitter b4 i left), which makes it hard to interact w/ content (not that i am like... WAHH WAHH UNBLOCK ME RIGHT NOW!!!) but. i dont even want to interact w/ content. none of it intrigues me.

i left the 1st time bcuz i had 2 watch my black mutuals get called the n word & have white fans argue w/ me in my inbox.

and now im still seeing that racism. i had my mutual & close friend, chance sankiisides, get a callout post & be pushed out of the fandom because of racist ass fans who dont know shit.

this fandom not only is the most annoying and aggrivating fandom ever, you guys refuse to make anyone who isnt a white queer feel safe.

im still here because, despite all its issues, i adore sanders sides. i still am thinking abt this series constantly. i am still analysing it. despite its newer, terrible writing & mischaracterisation of the characters, i am still watching. despite thomas being the most annoying creator ive ever had 2 witness, i still watch his content. because i still like him and what he makes. because i cant ignore how genuinely happy i get when i watcb his videos. i hate this fucking fandom but i am still here because when i see fans make dumbass theories & new fans come up w/ the same analyses we had as older fans, i am Happy. i think its genuinely such a beautiful thing 2 c how ppl analyse this series.

but like. why am i still Here. why do i have this blog.

i am being attacked for being a ""violent"" person by yt remus fans, while i watch my white mutuals and friends say the same things i do. i am watching my mutuals & friends be friends with the ppl who have said these things about me. i cant interact w/ half of this fandoms content. i am still seeing rampant racism and transphobia and queerphobia within this fandom. i have so many "popular" mutuals & friends who agree w/ my takes & opinions but dont express it because they feel like they cant.

obviously a lot of this is bcuz i have been super mentally ill & suicidal for the past (checks watch) 5 months. which is not a fandom thing, its an irl thing. i moved out of my parents house secretly 2 get away from the abuse i was experiencing. i have to share a room & (help) take care of a child every other week. i go to work as a cashier, a job i did not want but was moved 2, every week & i still dont have fucking money. i am so overwhelmed & stressed out of my goddamn mind.

and i cant even come on here 2 analyse abt sasi, something i love 2 do, w/o being told i am too violent. that i should just leave the fandom bcuz no1 wants me here. & whatever else fuck nonsense i have heard & seen abt myself. obviously people can disagree w/ me but like that is the point of me being here. this isnt a safe place, bcuz you guys do not make it a safe place & i dont think you guys ever Will make it a safe place. bcuz you are all yt queers.

sorry 4 the rlly long ramble i woke up at like 3 am. ill delete this later

[edengarden]

HEYO BBY 😎 im finally here! U can do a regular matchup or any that u feel more comfortable with!

So starting with basics: im 5'4; Gryffindor; sun Leo rising Gemini and moon Aries; my mtbi type is INFP-T; my love language is Quality Time;

I think my three main qualities are: I'm patient and understanding, I'm very loyal and I can see good things in everyone!

My three flaws are: I'm SOOO insecure, I'm too clingy and I'm too perfectionist

My hobbies are writing, reading, listen to music and drawn! I watch animes too, my music taste is very big, I like Ariana Grande, Beyonce, Imagine Dragons, David Bowie (thanks to u my darling), Frank Ocean, JUNNA, LiSa, Tyler The Creator, Leah Kate, etc. But my fav song is Achilles Come Down – Gang of Youths.

I think the trait i hate the most in people is that type of ppl who think ur achievements arent big just because they dont look big, and the ones who only know how to see the flaws in smthing!

Facts about me: i luv cats (my fav is Maine Coon), i luv potato, i hate onions, my favorite food is fried chicken, one of my dreams is to travel the world, i love history and arts, i hate math, i think that bonds of friendship can be stronger than family bonds, I love to read about what other people love, I get so hyped when someone asks me about my fav character or song or idk anything i love, I strongly believe that violence isn't the answer for anything, I love indie games, I have a bunch of teddy bears in my room, my favorite aesthetic is dark academia, i LOVE short hair, I have a hoodie that I use everywhere bcuz its from my favorite RPG, talking about it I love RPG

I think thats it bub! If u have a question u can sent me!

FIRST: sksksks you’re a gryffindor I can’t believe we have a slytherin-gryffindor friendship going on that’s iconic

Second: lmaoo Atsumu was out the window as soon as you started describing yourself bby we been knew

Third: IM A DARK ACADEMIA BITCH TOO ALSKDJDHJSJA

Fourth: I,,, I tried so freaking hard,, to find someone else,, bc I wanted to be impartial and tRUST ME I WAS FUCKING IMPARTIAL ON MY BULLSHIT but it’s just too good,, forgive mother for I have sinned—

I MATCH YOU UP WITH NISHINOYA

Now listen up you fucker, it’s YOUR FAULT for making your description so compatible with him!! (But honestly you sound just as compatible for Hinata and Inuoka, you just attract those rays of sunshine istg)

First of all; you’re patient?? It’s the number one requirement to be Noya’s s/o?? Also seeing the good in everyone!! I think it also means that you have a really optimistic side that could help Noya a LOT. Boy tends to get swept away by emotions please remind him of the positive stuff from time to time.

Also perfectionism?? With Noya, it’s gone. You KNOW he’s bound to screw something up, but does he care? Unless it’s Volleyball, not really dude. And i think that’s good for you! Sometimes, your best isn’t as high as other times and that’s okay! I think Noya really grasps that concept so any victory, no matter the size, is a victory for him and he hella hopes it’s a victory for you too! Clingy?? What does that mean?? Boy has no idea, he just knows the two of you are joined at the hip. You, Tanaka and him are the best and worst trio to ever walk this earth. God forbid you all went to Karasuno together istg-

And pfft travelling the world?? That’s done and done with Noya, we both know that. Y’all come back hella broke, but even that can’t destroy Nishinoya’s mood because he did all of that with you and got so many good memories!! He swore that he’d never, ever delete any of the pictures, even if they’re blurry or just things he thought were funny at 2 AM.

Overall, I seriously think the two of you are the kind of couple that can get passed anything because 1) you compliment each other so well yet have a lot of similarities and 2) you just?? Enjoy life?? Like you’re supposed to?? And that’s amazing.

Nishinoya could be the poorest man on earth, but if you’re by his side, then he’ll think he’s the luckiest on earth.

Songs!!

- It’s a Hard Life, Queen

- Chilly Down, David Bowie (when I say this is your theme song... THIS IS YOUR THEME SONG. This shit is the We Wreck Shit And We’re Gonna Take Off Your Head For Fun vibe, they’re the fuckin fire gang and so are you. Add Tanaka if you want, this shit is yours and Nishinoya’s VIBE.)

- Hey Ya!, Outkast (again, Wrecking Shit Vibe, but this song just puts Noya in a good mood dude)

- Station to Station, David Bowie (I don’t know why, but “thIs IsnT The SidE EfFecTs Of ThE CoCaINE” playing while you do something hella risky and stupid while Noya cheers you on is a wholeass mood)

[phandomsecretvalentines]

Love; not wrong (brave)

Happy valentines day 💞💞 i hope u have a great day, where ever you are and whatever you do.

This is litteraly just 4k words of fluffy stuff (although phil’s lowkey drunk in one of the prompts, nothing happens other than him ranting about how perfect dan is, but if you dont like that stuff its the 14th. Theres also a few loose mentions of depression and feelings of anxiety but nothing dan and phil dont say themselves. Also swearing bcuz dan. Happy endings thoo, i mean its just oneshots lmao). I hope you like it tho it was v fun to write. All the prompts are from @inlovesuggest (i got their permisson).

(Also the numbers at the begining of some of them like “[10]” are what year it takes place in, if i think its important to include. If thats not there it can take place whenever makes sense but probably 2017/18)

Yeahhh hope you enjoy! @dan-matian (from @butterscotchwithwhitemalteasers)

(I’ll stop overexplaining now) ———- ———- ❝ i have a feeling im gonna love you for a long long time ❞ ———- [09] ———- It was the day after when Phil realised he might be in love.

After the anticipation, after the endless butterflies, after the sunset Skybar dates.

They were lying on Phil’s family sofa together, rewatching episodes of Buffy in comfortable silence. Dan’s head was laying on Phil’s chest as Phil ran his fingers through Dan’s hair, it was curling at the tips now.

Dan started giggling at some cheesy joke, and hid his smile in his hands. His red patch flared up, his dimples grew, eyes crinkled. He did have a pretty laugh.

Phil titled his head and gave Dan a look.

“I’m not laughing! Shut up.” Dan’s face turned red-rose as he pushed it inside Phil’s shirt.

Phil couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across his face.

“You were. But I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You’re kinda cute,”

“Oh.”

Dan’s face got even more rosy, if that was possible.

“And I think I might love you.” ———- ❝ The sound of your voice makes me realize everything is ok, as long as I’m by your side. ❞ ———- [16] ———- Even after years of doing tours and books, Phil still felt nervous on stage.

Thousands of people watching him live, expecting, hoping.

He knew they loved him, but that didn’t console the pit in his stomach whenever he was about to step on.

What did help, however, was Dan.

Dan being there. His slightly posh voice, his half-confident-half-slacking posture. His arm, brushing against Phil’s, as he rushed off to go do something; or just so they could touch for a brief moment.

It was almost time to head on. Phil could hear the audience and the pre-show music Dan set, he could feel the anticipation in the air.

Unlike Dan, Phil was a shy kid. He didn’t do drama, he didn’t preform. This wasn’t him.

Dan’s fingers loosely touched against Phil’s arm, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“We go on in five.”

Phil smiled nervously.

“Okay.”

“We’ll be fine.”

As long as they’re together. ———- ❝ when it works out, love is incredible. it’s not overrated; there’s a reason for all the songs ❞ ———- [16] ———- Before the past years, Dan had never cared for love songs.

It’s not that he thought they were bad, or that he wouldn’t listen to them, he just found them rather unrelatable and boring. How many times does one have to listen to someone sing about the touch of another person?

But then he fell in love.

Truly, truly fell in love. Not teenage romance, not a Saturday night hookup, not an unrequited crush. True, mutual, comfortable love.

And he found himself relating to the songs he found so boring.

Suddenly, every overplayed radio song was about Phil.

Every ‘his lips tasted like candy’ was about the specific sweet-sour wine of Phil’s lips on a loud Friday night and a calm Wednesday morning.

Every 'I could spend forever with you’ was not an over exaggeration, but rather, true.

Why wouldn’t he spend forever with Phil? It just made sense.

Every love song made sense.

He had girlfriends before, and a boyfriend too. But Phil was the first one to ever make him realise why people wished to be in love. ———- ❝ when i say “i love you” it’s not out of habit, it’s to remind you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me ❞ ———- Compared to other people, maybe Dan and Phil didn’t say 'I love you’ much.

They decided, after a while, they’d rather show it.

So maybe Phil wouldn’t always say 'I love you’ before bed, but he would cook dinner more days a week than Dan.

He would take care of Dan when Dan couldn’t take care of himself. Phil would always cover anything for Dan, because he knew sometimes he needed it, even if he didn’t say.

He would make sure Dan got home safe, even when he only went out for milk. He’d even go out and get milk for Dan, if he was feeling far too overwhelmed to leave home that day.

And yeah, Dan might not always whisper 'I love you’ during early morning breakfasts, but he would take care of Phil when he was feeling poorly.

He would do more editing for the gaming channel, and he cleaned up the house far more. He tried to do most of their paperwork, because it often stressed Phil.

He would put his cereal in the same place every time, even when Phil always stole it.

But sometimes they would say I love you.

Sometimes, they would wake up and breathe it into each other’s ear.

Sometimes, they would make dinner and hum, in a tone, “I lovvveeee youuuuuuuu,” while putting it on the table.

Sometimes, they would sneak up behind each other while they edited, and scream it so loud that the other jumped off the sofa.

Sometimes, Phil would whisper it to Dan when Dan was too depressed to care.

Sometimes, Dan would mutter it to Phil when he was already far past asleep.

But they both always knew. ———- ❝ those knowing looks you give me from across the room are enough to make me want to stay in this place ❞ ———- Dan hated business meetings.

He hated going outside, he hated going into a building full of near-strangers, he hated talking to said strangers, he hated trying to understand complicated business concepts at far-too-early o'clock.

He wanted to leave.

Phil insisted, always, that he could go alone. It would be fine. Dan didn’t need to be there, and he didn’t mind.

Dan never took him up on the offer, he wasn’t that selfish.

So there he was, a Monday afternoon, looking out the window and bored out of his mind. He felt like he was in secondary school again; complicated concepts, boring statistics, and an unfocused mind. What was even so much better as an adult?

Dan felt Phil nudge his knee with a foot.

“You okay?” He whispered.

Right. That’s what was better. He had Phil.

“Yeah, just bored.”

“Me too, but there’s only fourty minutes left. You’ll be fine.”

Not for the first time, Dan admired Phil’s sensibility to always bring a watch to meetings.

They had both agreed that checking your phone looked quite rude, but checking a £3 Hello Kitty watch was a lot more subtle.

“Thanks.”

Phil gave Dan a small smile from across the table, and suddenly, maybe business meetings with Phil weren’t the worst place he could be. ———- ❝ we were dancing like idiots in the parking lot to our favourite bands people were staring but your dumb smile was enough to make me not care. ❞ ———- [10] ———- //“Change, Everything you are And everything you were”//

Dan never thought he would be the one slow-dancing in a parking lot at one in the morning, but apparently love mixed with sleepless nights is a hell of a drug.

//“Your number has been called Fights, battles have begun Revenge will surely come Your hard times are ahead”//

'Butterflies and Hurricanes’ played in the background, music surrounding them. It wasn’t a favourite Muse song for either of them, but it was perfect for the night.

Phil wasn’t the best dancer, Dan could admit. But neither was he, really. And it didn’t matter. They were together.

//“Best, You’ve got to be the best You’ve got to change the world”//

People were watching them, judging, or just confused. He was sure.

But when he looked up and saw Phil’s tired smile, and felt a soft kiss press his lips, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

And so they danced, a Saturday night, in a parking lot, to a Muse song.

//“And you use this chance to be heard Your time is now”//

And Dan had never felt so content. ———- ❝ maybe i could become a morning person if my mornings started next to you ❞ ———- [11] ———- It was no secret that Phil wasn’t a morning person.

Usually, he needed at least two cups of coffee and a bowl of cereal before you could even think about talking to him.

However, when he woke up with a sleeping Dan next to him, he found it hard to feel annoyed.

Dan was wrapped all around Phil, hand clutching his shirt tightly, their legs intertwined. His mouth was slightly opened, and although he didn’t snore, Phil could hear his soft breath.

He looked so young sometimes.

Dan started to open his eyes, having felt Phil’s body move.

“Mhmm?”

“Dan, I can’t reach my phone.”

Dan’s face scrunched up in distaste, “Don’t need it. 'Have me.”

Dan pulled Phil tightly into a half-hug, pinning him back down under the blankets.

He nuzzled his head into Phil’s neck, closing his eyes as his breathing steadied out again.

Maybe Phil didn’t actually mind mornings that much. ———- ❝ your laugh reminds me of all the good in the world ❞ ———- [15] ———- Dan had always loved Phil’s laugh.

From old videos, to Skype, to in person, to on the sofa next to him at three in the afternoon.

They were playing Mario Cart 8, and Dan wasn’t having the best luck. Despite being arguably worse, Phil had won every round so far, or at least gotten ahead of Dan.

Dan had managed to fling himself off the track entirely— for the fifteenth time that day— and Phil was laughing so hard Dan worried he might burst.

Dan’s favourite laugh of Phil’s.

His tounge-through-teeth laugh, where he tried to cover it with his hands but always gave in, ending up with smile lines and blushed cheeks.

Dan couldn’t stop staring. He had caused that.

He knew it was just a game of Mario Cart, that he made Phil laugh an endless amount of times, but occasionally it just hit him.

Not to romanticize, but Dan swore Phil’s laugh sounded like actual angels. It sounded like young children playing while their parents looked on; like every good thing to ever have existed, all at once. It reminded him of what happiness felt like.

“You okay Dan?”

Dan hadn’t realised how long he’d been staring for.

“Yeah. By the way, I like your laugh. Sounds nice.”

“Odd compliment, but thanks.” ———- ❝ wrapped in your arms, I feel so safe and calm. ❞ ———- Today had been a day.

Paperwork got mixed up, a venue had a miscommunication and lost a row of seats, and Phil’s birthday was in less than a week.

It was a lot for Dan at once, and he was so fucking tired.

“Phil! I need your help looking this over.”

Phil was on the phone, ordering dinner.

'Can it wait?’ He mouthed silently.

Dan shook his head violently. He was just about fed up.

Phil rolled his eyes, and muttered 'Be right back, emergency.’ into his phone.

“Alright, what?”

Dan squeezed his eyes shut tightly, shaking his head.

“I don’t know. Wait— Yes. I do know. It just is a bit blurry, in my head. Since I’m tired. Can you just explain what they said to call them for I’m really tired.”

Phil looked softly at Dan.

“It’s okay to take a break, Dan. It’s late. We can have dinner and go to bed or watch a movie.”

“No, I need this done tonight. You don’t understand. I need it perfect.”

“Not everything needs to be perfect.”

“Yes! Shit, yes. It does—”

Dan was exhausted.

Phil hugged Dan.

Dan eased into Phil’s embrace, hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’m tired,”

“I know.”

“And so stressed.”

Phil kissed Dan’s forehead.

“I know, let’s lie down.”

Phil grabbed his phone, finished ordering their food, and lay on the sofa with Dan.

Dan nudged into Phil’s arms, closing his eyes.

Phil lightly kissed him, and held him closer.

“You can nap for a bit, if you want. The food is fourty minutes away. I’ll be here.”

Dan sighed contently.

“Thank you.” ———- ❝ my hands are cold, would you mind holding them? ❞ ———- [11] ———- “It’s snowing.”

Dan and Phil were sitting on Phil’s balcony, sipping hot coco.

“It is,”

“It’s cold.” Dan smiled innocently at Phil.

“Yes? Do you need mittens? I think I have a pair—”

“Can you hold my hand?”

“Oh-” Phil went bright pink, “Sure, yeah, okay.”

He reached out and tapped his fingers nervously against Dan’s free hand, before interlocking them.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. It is really cold, actually.”

Dan laughed, “Yeah, I know! It actually is snowing out, it wasn’t all a ploy.”

Phil smiled warmly.

“I like holding your hand.”

“We are doing this for warmth and survival only, you dork. But, I like holding your hand too.” ———- ❝ Just the two of us, cuddling at late night. Enjoying the silence, and the presence of each other. I fall asleep in your chest, hearing your heartbeats ❞ ———- It was 2am, they’re watching a Studio Ghibli movie.

Or at least, they were, until the credits rolled and they were too lazy to pick another one.

So now, they were lying on the sofa, listening to the silence and the others heartbeat.

Dan’s head was on Phil’s chest, a grin as he heard Phil’s soft breathing.

Phil was running his fingers through Dan’s curls, twirling each one.

Dan’s eyelids slowly difted closed, and his breathing evened out.

“Goodnight, Danny.” Phil whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Dan smiled within his sleep. ———- ❝ i never want to know what life is like without you again ❞ ———- [17] ———- In more ways than one, Dan and Phil ran on parallel tracks.

Their thoughts, but their actions too. Their daily lives so delicately intertwined.

They would wake up together, one kissing the other or just the sound of an aggressively loud alarm.

They would get dressed, take showers, brush their teeth, fix their hair, in turns. Perfectly in sync. A well oiled machine.

One of them would make breakfast, or they both would. Coffee, tea, cereal. A petty argument about stolen cereal, sometimes, then a slice of toast.

They would watch TV, or an anime, but today they watched Undercover Cops. Phil wanted to spice it up a bit.

After that, they’d sit in the lounge, doing nothing, editing, or any mix of the two.

Eventually, one of them would get hungry, and they would order or cook. Today it was order, burritos from a local mexican place and salads.

After they ate, Dan would take off somewhere else to do something else. Piano, games, or random things around the house. Phil might join him, but not always. This was as much space as they needed.

After that, Dan would return in exercise clothes with yoga mats. Phil would go off to change, and would return. Either yoga or some standard workout, nothing too much, but enough to make Dan okay. Phil never minded it.

After that, they would return to the lounge and relax for a while. Maybe catch up on a show. Other times, they might film a gaming video, or even a main channel video if one was prepared.

Then one would be hungry again, and they would make dinner. Sometimes they ordered, but less and less, since Dan’s therapist recommended healthy home-cooked meals. They decided on Indian food, Tandoori Chicken and Rice, with a Stir-Fry.

After dinner, Dan would go play games, and Phil might too. Or maybe watch a show Dan didn’t care for. Maybe clean up a bit more. Always something, though. Unless it was a nothing day.

Sometime at night, they would get tired. They’d head off to bed, maybe Dan would want to shower again. They would just lay with each other, until the comfort of the other persons presence lulled them both to sleep.

They worked well together, and had done for years. It was hard to remember a time before they were each others lives.

Rarely ever alone. ———- ❝ a concept: holding hands while walking along the beach as the sun sets next to us and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and mmmaybe kiss ❞ ———- [10] ———- After four hours, Dan and Phil had finally managed to escape from the rest of the group.

Now they were walking down the sandy beach, awkwardly watching the sunset, side by side.

Neither one really knew what they were doing, neither really cared.

The sky had just reached that violet-red-orange ice-creamed mix when Phil intertwined his fingers with Dan’s.

Dan looked up at him, pink cheeks.

They glanced at each other for a second longer, then continued walking.

“You do realise we’re literally doing that romantic-walk-on-the-beach cliché thing?”

“Yeah, but it’s nice.”

“It is,”

Dan looked into Phil’s eyes a moment, then softly pressed their lips together. ———- ❝ i love the way you sound at 3am and how you look when you smile. it’s addicting ❞ ———- [09] ———- It was three in the morning, and Phil had decided that Dan was pretty.

And not the flowy-hair-model pretty, but the timeless one. The one where your features are just— perfect.

Phil couldn’t even think of a proper describing word; although that may be the three glasses of wine he had earlier.

He looked at Dan’s fuzzy image through his laptop, admiring. Dan had been attempting to play piano, but gave up and was just lying on his bed now.

“You’re pretty.” Phil whispered.

Dan blushed. How adorable.

“Thanks?”

“Really. Timelessly beautiful. And sexy, and handsome and hot and gorgeous and every other good word. You’re— Dan. That’s perfect. Dan is a good word.”

Dan grinned wide at Phil’s drunken rambles.

“I–”

“And your voice, it’s just nice. Calming. You think it’s too posh or whatever but it’s not. It’s great Dan. It’s Dan! That’s a good thing. I love it. One day I wanna fall asleep to it and wake up to it and—”

Phil teared up at this. He wanted to be with Dan forever, and he knew it.

“Dan, I,”

Dan was looking a bit confused now.

“Yeah, Phil? Are you okay?”

“You’re pretty, Dan. That’s all. But that’s not all at all.” ———- ❝ being old doesn’t seem too awful when i think about growing old with you ❞ ———- [18] ———- Phil sighed, rolling over in bed.

“I’m thirty-one now.”

Dan smiled, “Yeah?”

“That’s pretty old.”

“Not that old, honestly.” Dan laughed quietly, “You’re barely over your twenties.”

“People my age have families,” Phil stares at the ceiling, unblinking. “They’re married with a house.”

“Kids don’t make you old, Phil. People have kids at sixteen, my mum had me at ninteen for God’s sake. And anyone can buy a house, anyone can get married.”

Phil leaned on his side to look at Dan. “You know what I mean—I could. I haven’t done that much, I’m getting old. I could die tommorow.”

Dan’s turn to sigh.

“You could’ve died yesterday, Philly.” He smiles fondly, “And you have done so, so, much. Really. You’ve gone to University, had three homes, have four million fans, gone on tour—there’s more to life than just domestic stuff. And if you want domestic stuff, we can do that too. Forever home, dog, eventually marriage and kids.”

“I know,”

“What’s the issue?”

“I dunno. I just don’t wanna die. I don’t want to be old, really. I don’t know.”

Dan glanced at him.

“You’re gonna be old. We’ll be old together. Like the great poet Ed Sheeran once said, 'I’ll be loving you 'till we’re seventy,’”

Phil giggles, “Maybe you’re right. It’ll be fun with you. You make things fun.”

“Yup. I’ll always love you, even when you have grey hair that you still dye black, and wrinkles, and smell like bad cologne.”

“Always.” ———- ❝ when it works out, love is incredible. it’s not overrated; there’s a reason for all the songs ❞ ———- [16] ———- Before the past years, Dan had never cared for love songs.

It’s not that he thought they were bad, or that he wouldn’t listen to them, he just found them rather unrelatable and boring. How many times does one have to listen to someone sing about the touch of another person?

But then he fell in love.

Truly, truly fell in love. Not teenage romance, not a Saturday night hookup, not an unrequited crush. True, mutual, comfortable love.

And he found himself relating to the songs he found so boring.

Suddenly, every overplayed radio song was about Phil.

Every 'his lips tasted like candy’ was about the specific sweet-sour wine of Phil’s lips on a loud Friday night and a calm Wednesday morning.

Every 'I could spend forever with you’ was not an over exaggeration, but rather, true.

Why wouldn’t he spend forever with Phil? It just made sense.

Every love song made sense.

He had girlfriends before, and a boyfriend too. But Phil was the first one to ever make him realise why people wished to be in love. ———- ❝ How dare you make me smile so hard that my face hurts when you’re so far away? ❞ ———- “Well this feels like déjà vu.”

Dan was sitting on their bed, laptop opened to Skype, smiling at Phil.

Phil was at his parent’s house, sitting on a guest bed, smiling back.

“You’re right. I have too many memories of nights like these.” Phil laughs half-heartedly.

“I probably would’ve just come with you, if I didn’t have a video to film.”

“I know. And remember to send me the file when you’re done so I can watch over it.”

“Yes, Dad.” Dan rolled his eyes fondly.

“It’s your regret, Daniel.”

Dan sighed, “I miss you.”

Phil smiled back, sadly, “I miss you too. But it’s only a few days, don’t worry. Just edit.”

“I remember a lot of nights back then, saying how one day we would never have to Skype again, yet here we are.”

“Stop being melodramatic Dan, it’s only a weekend for my mum’s birthday. We’ll live.”

“Will we? Because I swear I’m dddddyyyinnngggg!” Dan flopped down on the bed, pretending to faint, and they both fall into a fit of giggles.

“Noooo Danny! Don’t go into the light!”

“It’s too late… I can—see God… she’s coming for me…”

“Dannnnnnn! Nooo!” Phil put his hand over his heart and sobbed dramatically.

“God is Ribena Phil, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

They both burst into uncontrollable laughter at this, tears streaming down Dan’s face, struggling to catch their breath.

“Oh my god, Dan!”

“Oh my—Oh my Ribena, you mean!—”

They both gasped for air, Dan’s cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

“Of course, how dare I!?”

Once the laughter had settled down and they were both softly smiling again, Dan sighed.

“I still wish you weren’t so far. I want to be with you.”

Phil smirked, “Don’t you mean 'I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone’?”

“Shut up! Why do you even remember that?” Dan blushed and hid his face in a pillow.

Old feelings, old love. ———- ❝ in your kiss, I felt at peace ❞ ———- [09] ———- Butterflies.

Dan looks at Phil, Phil looks at Dan.

Dan tilts his head to the side.

His head is beating fast, but his heart is beating faster.

Phil is beautiful.

Now or never.

Butterflies.

Two lips, just two lips.

Soft. Phil’s lips are very soft. And sweet like honey.

Butterflies and honey.

A winning combination for your butterflies to get all sticky and trapped, and for you to feel brave.

Honey is sweet, like Phil’s lips.

Phil’s lips are better than honey.

This isn’t Dan’s first kiss, but it might as well be. This feels more important.

Honey.

Butterflies.

Honey is sweet.

Phil’s lips are sweeter.

“Thank you.” ———-

[randomuser678]

This may be my own kinda ask but I really want to hear your opinion cause you seem to have a really great one about alot of stuff! Which danganronpa game do you feel was the best story, gameplay, characters and twist wise?? I hope you don't mind me going though and finding your other ask posts and ask8ng dome more asks. but thank you very much if you do This!

Oooohhh, thank you so much for asking!

Well, firstly, Im no entirely cought up with ndrv3, even tho I already have a pretty general idea here, and honestly, I don’t feel too motivated to continue, but that’s definitely gonna change at some point

I’m gonna say I’m biased towards the first game, at least when it comes to best story, twist and characters, because it was what started most trends in other dangan games, the story on dr1 served as a base to the following games and it introduced to everyone the dangan world and most of it’s rules, so when the other games showed this world it just felt weaker, just felt like they were rehearsing the same story that Ive heard b4, there was the same basic plot with ultimates trapped on a place and forced to murder eachother, the only differences being what their talents and main location were, so it feels like the shocking plot of teenagers and murders just got less shocking over time, they kept using this plot and it stopped being original.

But that wasn’t a bad thing, they kept following the same storyline, of course they’d have the same base story, so maybe it would have been better if they kept changing canons for each game? I doubt that would work, but hey, that would mix things up for sure.

But the worst part abt the trends that the first game started, is that I just can’t help but feel like so many story points were done much better at DR1, for example: Junko, the big bad gal, the queen of despair, the main villain of the franchise.

She has appeared in all of the games, and just everywhere really, as cosplay, as AI, whatever, she was there since the first game, and always as the villain, or some sort of force related to the villain, which is good, I love her, but since the first game, y'know how that turned into less of a plot twist and more of a boring pattern.

On the first game her villainy was the biggest plot twist, the girl that had died on the first chapter and never mentioned ever since, was actually alive and the one behind the murders, that just surprised me so much, who would even go on that direction. I absolutely loved it, and the whole basis of the plot twist was that the gyaru was actually the villain, and even tho I didn’t get that right of the bat I now find this pretty smart, and just goes to show how dr likes to subvert these anime tropes.

But then she was the mastermind on the second game.

I mean I loved having her round again, but “The villain this time is the villain from the last time“ isn’t that much of a surprise anymore, and seeing how Junko just turned into basically an all seeing always present god, I wonder why they kept pulling that off years after the first game, that is the most noticeable trend from the first game, and repeating the same plot twist just doesn’t seems like a good writing strategy.

But I can kind of see how that could work, you keep pulling the same plot twist again and again but adding more stuff each time, so the new one feels different from last ones, like “You were classmates” and then “You were classmates, and also you were evil“ or “It was Junko all along“ and then “It was Junko all along except it she is a fictional character“ and I guess that’s kind of creative, if that’s what they were going for here, but that doesn’t explain why they kept repeating so many story points and the character patterns.

The parallels between the first game and the second are pretty easy to make, first chapter there’s always a plan where the wrong person dies, second chapter is something or someone from the character’s past “coming back” to haunt the murderer, third chapter there are two ppl who are killed, and only one death was really planned from the beginning and the murderer is the least sympathetic of them all, on the fourth chapter the gentle giant dies and they always has good intentions and the chapter has a sacrifice being made and there is a blah blah blah abt what a life is worth and all of that, the fifth chapter is leading to the end, so many plot twists are made here, that one character that seemed like they were too badass and too present in the story dies (I mean Mukuro wasn’t present, but the story was hyping her as this mysterious force leading up to the final revelation) and then the two last games have final chapter revealing the mastermind and additional plot twists, the first game didnt have a sixth chapter cuz they had less of a plot to discover, the other games just kept adding to the basic line that I talked abt here.

So the discussion here is basically which game did all of this better.

The first game introduced this pattern, so it has some sort of advantage, the second one just felt like a copout for me, and the third one was pretty linear with this too but the last chapter was just, wow.

The final game had the biggest final plot twist, as in, it was a giant middle finger to the audience, which is not really a bad thing, but it still shocked me, the first chapter had already a plot twist that made some fans abandon the game, so you can only imagine what the last one did with some fans, I never expected the franchise to be this meta, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it just yet.

Of course, nobody likes discovering that the characters you got so invested weren’tactually who you thought they were, I mean, yeah, they are fictional characters so of course you knew that they were fake ppl anyways, but knowing that the fictional characters that you love are fictional on their own fictional world, that’s fictionalception! And just hard to follow tbh.

So on one hand it was a shocking twist that took a really different turn from the last games, but in other hand, it made the story feel weaker somehow, knowing that this fabricated morals were fabricated on it’s own world, if that makes sense, I don’t know how to describe it.

I also wanna mention that on ndrv3 almost all of the murderers were sympathetic, the only exceptions being the mastermind and the third chapter, but that’s how it always is. On the first game it was all very gray, the murderers had their own reasons and you could feel bad for them if you wanted, but the game didn’t seem to side with either the victim or the culprit, you could understand how the Sayaka planned to murder Leon, but you also could see how Leon took advantage of the situation (And tbh they both were pretty stupid), you could understand how Mondo just lost control and did something horrible, but you can also see how that happened and how Chihiro was stronger than him (And that chapter was amazing tbh), but on the second game it felt more guilt-trippy for me, doesn’t help the fact that everyone just forgot abt the ppl who were killed, bcuz they had connections with the murderers, and I didn’t like the twist on the second trial at all, I felt like most of the characters got no development on the main plot line at all, the only really big exception being Kuzu and Hinata I think.

I preferred when they left it more gray, when the story allowed us to understand the murderer’s motive without feeling like they were forcing you to love them. That’s what it was like for me on the second and third games, but mostly on the second one.

It also doesn’t help that they almost always forget about the ppl who died as the story goes on, either that or they only remembered of their respective love interest.

And oh God, love interests, I don’t care about any romance on this franchise, the biggest offenders were So/n/dam/ and all of the hets in ndrv3, but I’m not gonna go in details here, that would be just  too unpleasant.

So like, ndrv3 had many cutscenes, which meant more character interactions, and seeing how a character interacts with other ppl is always a great thing, it builds better both characters, makes them feel more real, makes things less boring, and it’s just great, and dr1 didn’t have much of that, or at least not any remarkable ones like the other games, which sucks bcuz I wanted more of those characters, but they were still starting the franchise so of course it was gonna be like that.

And can I say how in sdr2 it felt like the coolest girls felt like were all forced to have a boy on their story lines? Sonia doesn’t do anything big on the story even tho she is pretty smart and curious, she only really did something when she was crying over Gundham, Peko is limited to her young master, which makes sense on the story (She was raised to only care abt him) but still feels like a waste of a character, almost everything Akane does on the story is related to Nekomaru somehow, or ends up with Nekomaru and as a result she gets no development, and hardly ever interacts with anyone outside of that dude. Peko and Akane never interact and that’s honestçy the worst of all of this, they are the two fighter girls with totally different styles! They should have hanged out more.

The guys were always on the spotlight and that makes me kinda sad, such wasted potential, and while that’s kind of a problem on this whole franchise, it was easier to see on sdr2 tbh.

The girls on ndrv3 and dr1 were great tho.

And also I rate male characters on dr based on how date-able they are, so it’d be like

Best boys- SDR2 (Would date them all)

Second best boys-DR1 (I dont like Togami that much but most of them are ok)

Worst boys-NDRV3 (I only like Hoshi and Gonta)

And gameplay wise ndrv3 wins, just, so many minigames and bonus content, it’s the newer game so obviously they’d have great gameplay.

So to cut it short, cuz I just went everywhere here

Best story: Ndrv3, dr1 is a close second, but since ndrv3 had two other games to live up to, they had a more solid basis when it comes to what to expect and how strong plot twists feel, even tho I still lean towards dr1 that started this mess.

Best gameplay: Ndrv3, the newer one with tons of bonus content and weird class trials

Best characters: Dr1, I loved the characters and was never able to get over them, even tho they didn’t have tons of character interactions like the other games. On a side note Ndrv3 has the best girls and Sdr2 has the best boys, but as a whole, I like Dr1 gang the best.

Best plot twist:Ndrv3 just loved having a bunch of those, but I still liked the whole Junko thing on the first game.

                                    Some other stuff too

Dr3 was an alright anime, I didnt like the end or how the character were treated and just forgotten abt forever, and I want them back, but still, I just loved seeing them animated and full of life.

Despair girls followed my fav from the first game, Toko, and an awesome protag, too bad the game felt like pandering to pedophiles so much, I know that isn’t anything new to this franchise at this point, and anime generally is like this, but it was just disgusting, they tried to tackle on the subject of child abuse while having fan service scenes with minors, that made everything worse, and was a waste of a cool concept and characters. At least the kids survived in the end.

I haven’t read dr0

So that’s it, thank you so much for sending an ask, I hope you have a great new year and stuff!

[missyou-mp3-blog]

7/24/17 - MONSTA X concert experience/fan account!

i wanted to share with everyone (and for myself so ill always remember) of how my experience was with monsta x’s concert! i attended their 2nd LA date and it was my first time lining up early for a concert, and also my first time being in the pit. ill be putting everything in a bullet point list under a ‘read more’, but just know that my memory is shit and my thoughts are really unorganized. :’)

the line

my friends and i lined up around 12:30p and i was really scared bcuz of LA heat (im very sensitive to hot weather. also cold weather too.) + what were we gonna do all day waiting in line??

it actually ended up being ok cause it wasnt hot (it was cloudy, the air was cool, we were in the shade, and it even rained a little bit)

i also met up with another friend and her group in line!!

eventually our group had more people since we randomly talked to some other girls nearby us (so we were a group of 10)

waiting in line was actually enjoyable

but i definitely did not drink enough water and i only had one ‘real’ meal in the morning and survived on junk food/snacks throughout the day

i didnt feel good after the concert actually lmao i had a really bad stomachache when i got back to my friend’s place

anyways here’s some stuff i learned from other fans while waiting in line:

NO ONE LIKED KIHYUN’S PINK HAIR FROM FIGHTER ERA (i loved it tho...)

‘fighter’ is monsta x’s worst title track (some people said it was a shitty song but im being biased and am gonna say i still like it even though it’s my least fav too)

‘all in’ is monsta x’s best title track and should’ve gotten them their first win

im assuming a lot of monbebes are armys too

also... there was some guy selling unofficial monsta x shirts and a LOT of fans were buying them...

my problem with this is that on the back of the shirt it says “since 2014″, but monsta x debuted in 2015???

if it’s “since 2014″ for when the first ep of no.mercy aired?? then i guess that makes sense... but im pretty sure “since 2014″ is a mistake/inaccurate and i wish those fans didnt buy the shirt BCUZ OF THE WRONG YEAR... :///

oh and i also got a lot of freebies !!! like fans were passing out banners, fanmade postcards + photocards, etc.

the concert

security let me and some of my friend group (bcuz not all of us had P2 tickets) into the venue a little before 7p

we got a spot in the middle of the pit?? which was good, i thought, but my friends were thinking if we moved back to the P3 section we’d have a better view (bcuz once the concert starts everyone’s phones will be up lmao)

we ended up staying in our spot but as more people were coming in to the pit, it progressively got more crowded/squished (and people who werent SUPPOSED to be in the pit were in the pit too...)

but im assuming the pit wasnt that bad compared to day 1 since the pit wasnt even full (lots of space near the back) and monsta x didnt sell out their 2nd LA date

once it got closer to 8p the lights on the stage turned on and LITERALLY EVERYONE PUSHED FORWARD :(

and then monsta x had an intro video?? where it showed a picture of each member with their names and by this time i started tearing up bcuz that meant they were coming on stage soon and i was thinking “oH SHIT”

aND THEN WHEN THEY CAME OUT ON STAGE AND STARTED THE CONCERT PERFORMING “BEAUTIFUL” I WAS LITERALLY SOBBING

i was a mess honestly i was sobbing and sweating cause suddenly it got really hot in the pit HAHA

halfway through “beautiful” some of my friends turned to me and looked shocked and they were all “??? AMANDA ARE U OK???”

which i was lol but you know... i knew 100% that i was going to cry during the concert, but i just didnt expect to do it RIGHT AWAY and to cry that hard oOPS

it was probably cause i thought “wow im actually here seeing my ult bias group live and they’re so close to me and i can see them pretty well and im alive at this time bless”

but i was so embarrassed at my reaction and now whenever i hear “beautiful” ill probably cry remembering this

and i actually stopped and calmed down (they used “stop! calm down” reference a lot throughout the concert) pretty quick tho so i could jam and sing along to the next song

anyways here’s when my memory goes to shit lmao i dont remember the order/the setlist that much

but im pretty sure they performed “incomparable” before they did member introductions

and i was LIVING BCUZ INCOMPARABLE IS MY 2ND FAV SONG FROM THEIR BEAUTIFUL ALBUM

when they were doing member introductions, one of my friends wanted to get their attention so we did an arm(?) heart together

and apparently WE GOT WONHO’S ATTENTION BCUZ SHE GOT REALLY EXCITED AND SAID THAT HE SMILED AND POINTED AT US

BUT I DIDNT SEE THAT HE NOTICED US FML (idk where my attention was) T________T

but when hyungwon started talking i cheered for him the loudest/more than i did for the other members bcuz i was so happy he was there

i looked at hyungwon the most during the concert, mainly bcuz he stood on the side of the stage where i had a good view

and also bcuz hyungwon is SO BEAUTIFUL!! HE IS THE TRUE VISUAL OF MONSTA X!!

even though he was healthy enough to come to the LA shows, i think he was tired/not at his best bcuz during one performance he was sitting down on the steps of the stage and he had his hand covering his eyes :((( (idk if he was tired or if he did that to see monbebes up on the balcony better)

after hyungwon, the member i looked at the 2nd most was kihyun bcuz HAVE YOU SEEN THAT BOY????

when they sang “white love/girl” i thought i was going to cry since i always cry when i listen to it at home but after my first embarrassing cry i think i was done cause no tears came out lol

I REALLY ENJOYED ‘READY OR NOT’ AND ‘OI’ LIVE. im more of a fan of monsta x’s louder songs with the booming basslines (but of course i like their softer songs too!)

for the member unit stages, i wanted to take pics/record vids but everyone had their phones up during these times so i decided not to take pics/record anything and just enjoy the special stages

BUT I GOT REALLY SHY WITH HYUNGWONHO’S “FROM ZERO” STAGE BCUZ WONHO!!!! AAAAAAAAA

and then everyone went wild when hyungwon was kneeling(?) down and wonho touched him lmao

REALLY hoping starship will release a studio version of “from zero” on their next album or something bcuz I LOVE IT (esp the chorus)

i dont really have much to say about shownu, minhyuk, and I.M’s “24k magic” cover bcuz i couldnt see them/the stage that well but it was a fun performance i think!!

kihyun and jooheon’s “mirror” cover WAS SO GOOD??? IT WAS POWERFUL AND MY FAVORITE SPECIAL MEMBER STAGE. like the lighting for the stage, jooheon’s rapping, kihyun’s VOCALS.... all of it was perfect

also not to say that any of the members were ‘bad performers’ bcuz they’re all great, but i definitely thought that kihyun and jooheon were in general the best performers throughout the whole night

for “white sugar” the members threw candies/chocolates into the crowd and wONHO KISSED THE CANDIES/CHOCOLATES HE HAD BEFORE THROWING THEM

i didnt catch any of them but if i caught wonho’s???? not to be that fan but i probably would never eat the candy/chocolate l m a o

oh so i just remembered i didnt write anything about the VCRs, but that’s intentional bcuz i honestly dont remember anything from them.... 

all i remember was in one of them the members find hyungwon sitting up against the wall with his face busted and everyone in the crowd went “AWWWWW”

besides performances... what else do i remember...

there was wonho imitating the translator!!

and jooheon’s new(?) aegyo???? he didnt do the kukukaka thing but something (still cute) with his dimples :’)

and I.M sang some of that “L-O-V-E” song

also I.M asked the crowd, “do you know who the ace (member) is in monsta x?” and then he said something like, “it’s all of you! monbebe(s) are the 8th member of monsta x!” ❤

back to performances, when “shine forever” came on i tried not to laugh bcuz one of my friends’ sister said some stupid funny shit about kihyun’s part in the chorus where he goes “SHINE FOREVER YEAH YEAH YEAH”

so now whenever i hear “shine forever” i always think of what my friend’s sister said lmao. i used to not like that song that much tbh but i enjoyed “shine forever” live, it was great!

“TRESPASS” LIVE IS AMAZING; EVERYONE WAS SINGING ALONG AND DYING (INCLUDING ME)

then after they performed “fighter” they went off stage to prep for the encore so i used this time to sit down bcuz MY FEET WERE REALLY TIRED AND MY BACK HURT

glad they ended with “no exit” (one of my fav songs!!) and “5:14″, but i also dont really have anything to say about these performances lol

but wonho THREW HIS SWEATY TOWEL INTO THE PIT 

AND OF COURSE I DIDNT CATCH IT SO WHOEVER DID IS LUCKY

but even if i did catch it i wouldnt know what to do with his sweaty towel (again, not to be that fan but i would never wash it and try to conserve his sweat??? sounds gross but what else would you do lmaoooo)

kihyun said they’d come back soon (PLEASE COME TO SEATTLE) and they’d go to kcon in the future

and then you know there was the streamers and confetti (they only landed near the front of the pit tho asdlnfs) and then the boys bowed 3x and said good bye to everyone :’(((

for the ending video/credits the song that was playing was “miss you” but i didnt pay attention to the ending vid bcuz i was trying to find my friend group since we all got separated/paired off while in the pit lol

they didnt perform “miss you” or “stuck” or any of the songs from no.mercy but that’s ok cause the concert was still amazing and i loved every minute of it and it was only my 2nd kpop concert i’ve been to but it’s the best :(((

my throat ended up hurting after and my voice sounded a lot lower but it was worth it !!

hitouch

before i start i just want to say i HATE MYSELF bcuz i cant express how im feeling correctly/my facial expressions dont match with what i say so through the hitouch i hoped that i was smiling LOOOOL but im pretty sure i looked shocked the entire time

k so my friend group was freaking out

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO (INSERT BIAS NAME)??” “I DON’T KNOW!!!!”

when we were getting closer to the front of the line to see/hitouch the members we were all, “WHO’S THE FIRST MEMBER ALSDLA”

so the order for hitouch it was: I.M, hyungwon, kihyun, shownu <-> jooheon, wonho, and minhyuk (ill explain why i did the arrow thing for shownu and jooheon below...)

and how the hitouch was set up, the members were to your left and there was a table to separate them from the fans

i had my lightstick and a wonho paper heart in my left hand so i was doing hitouch with my right hand

I.M was wearing glasses and lemme tell you I.M IS HANDSOME AS FUCK

i had no idea what to say to him so i just said the first thing that came to mind and it was something like: “the show/you guys are so amazing!!”

and I.M smiled, closed his eyes, nodded his head, and had this really satisfied look on his face and he said thank you!!

hyungwon was next and i wanted to tell him “thank you so much for coming! please stay healthy/please take care of yourself” but all i ended up saying was “thank you so much for coming” ASLDA FUCK

then kihyun... OMG LET ME JUST SAY THAT KIHYUN IS SOOOO NICE

since i fucked up what i wanted to say to hyungwon i decided to just say “i love you” since it’s not hard to remember compared to a personalized message (even though they hear “i love you” thousands of times) + they’d understand “i love you”

but i told kihyun “i love you” and FUCKING KIHYUN... hE HIT ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE, CUTE TEETH SHOWING AND AN EYE SMILE AND HE WAS VERY HAPPY AND HE SAID “THANK YOU”

SO AFTER KIHYUN MY MIND WENT BLANK

so that’s why i dont remember if it was shownu or jooheon next IM SO SORRY AND I ACTUALLY DONT THINK I SAID ANYTHING TO SHOWNU AND JOOHEON AND I DONT EVEN REMEMBER TOUCHING THEIR HANDS FML BCUZ AFTER KIHYUN I WAS DAZED

but i remember shownu just had his normal resting face and then i do remember jooheon was smiling and i could see his dimples!!!!!

so then i think wonho and minhyuk were the only members who were sitting down, BUT WONHO WAS IN MY VIEW AND I PANICKED

cause wonho is my ult bias and... he means so much to me and there was no way i could express it in words so i quickly said, “wonho, i admire you so much i love you”

and all i remember was that he smiled at me and THAT’S OK THAT’S ENOUGH FOR ME IM FINE HONESTLY!!!

minhyuk was last and i was actually trying to rush... bcuz i kept hearing security saying to “move along” and i was the last in my friend group to do hitouch and i didnt want them to leave me behind so

i wanted to tell minhyuk “thank you for existing” bcuz this boy really makes me feel better when im feeling down and he is my source of happiness

but i think i just said “i love you” bcuz his reaction after would make the most sense if i said “i love you” to him

so i told minhyuk “i love you” and as i was trying to leave/go i could still feel his hand in mine??? like he didnt let go of my hand right away and i was CONFUSED

cause i was focusing on catching up with my friend group, but as my hand was slipping out of minhyuk’s i turned to look back aND MINHYUK’S FACE WAS CLOSE TO MINE BCUZ HE WAS LEANING OVER THE TABLE TOWARD ME AS I WAS LEAVING BCUZ HE WANTED TO SAY “THANK YOU” AND HE SMILED AND NODDED HIS HEAD AT ME

I LOVE MINHYUK WE HAD A LINGERING TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!1

AND I DIDNT CRY AFTER THE HITOUCH/EXITING THE VENUE BUT IM CRYING NOW BCUZ THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE IS ONLY HITTING ME NOW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!

but really though the whole day was truly amazing (i know i said this so many times asldjsal) and i had such a fun time... seeing monsta x, even though they’ll forget me, ill never forget them. ❤ being there to see them live and up close and there with friends i’ve only met for the first time + making new friends has become my most happiest experience ever. thank you so much monsta x for my life??? i love them so much. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤