#bdsmhumor

[thegingerpowers]

Bondage: The Lighter Side

You walk, or crawl, into the bedroom and see that he’s pulled out the bondage rope.  The bright purple roll. What will it be? Spread-eagled on the bed? Kneeling with the bonds stretching from your tits, around your throat, then between your pussy lips and back up again? You can feel the rough biting tendrils pricking at the tender flesh of your sex every time you take a deep breath. Sensual. Erotic. Absolutely sexy.

On the other hand, there’s something to be said for the freedom to move when you need to.

The top ten thoughts your submissive partner has when immobilization is on the horizon…

Number 10: “He can’t fold a towel out of the dryer but now he thinks he can do Shibari?”

Number 9: “I am too heavy for this. What if the ceiling caves in??”

Number 8: “If he leaves me in here and goes to watch the game I’m going to be so pissed.”

Number 7: “He’s going to use hot wax to mark my tummy with his initials… has he even considered that his initials are E. W. ???”

Number 6: “Where are the cats? Last time they left little puncture marks all over my boobs doing that squishy padding thing.”

Number 5: “If he cracks that ‘pinch an inch’ joke this time I’m gonna smack him when I get free.”

Number 4: “If I could use rope during yoga, I’d be a lot better with some of those poses.”

Number 3: “How long do cum germs last on rope?”

Number 2: “Wait. Are cum germs a real thing?? Eww. We need new rope.”

And the Number ONE thought your sub has when you suggest hog-tying her is… “What if I have to pee??”

[confessionsofanangrymetalhead]

#confessionsofanangrymetalhead #metalhead #ighumor #humor #igcomedy #comedy #bdsmhumor #bdsmparody #offleasharea https://www.instagram.com/p/B6SlM22pB-a/?igshid=hiju8r70muns

[sunnymegatron]

Happy Anniversary @psychicken!!! I love you! It's our leather anniversary! (isn't every one of our anniversaries leather? Haha!) #bdsmhumor #leatherhumor #happyanniversary #3rdanniversary #weddingselfie #nopantswedding #kinkycouple #brideandgroom

[thegingerpowers]

How do you know that your Master is cheap? ............ He tells you to use your collar to go walk the dog.

Red Phoenix

[confessionsofanangrymetalhead]

Perhaps the greatest"choke me daddy" parody I've ever seen. 😂😂😂😂 #confessionsofanangrymetalhead #metalhead #ighumor #offensivehumor #chokemedaddy #arthur #comedy #chokemedaddyparody #humor #arthurparody #ihateyou #yourmothersucksdicksinhell #bdsmhumor https://www.instagram.com/p/B2ufuFOJuNx/?igshid=zpmo86a8sl05

[thegingerpowers]

NKP: Naked Kneeling Prepared

NKP: Every Trick Deserves a Treat

[confessionsofanangrymetalhead]

#confessionsofanangrymetalhead #metalhead #swingsets #igcomedy #ighumor #humor #comedy #bdsmhumor #ihateyou #yourmothersuckedmydicklastnight https://www.instagram.com/p/CFIjAqDpLGX/?igshid=14eodhipo7ce4

[thegingerpowers]

On the other hand, I’m a mom and my imagination is excellent. Trust me. *winks*

[thegingerpowers]

Sunday To Do List of a Sub

1. Make the bed

2. Wash his clothes

3. Grocery store

4. Wash more of his clothes... clothes whore

5. Clean up after the kitties

6. Cook dinner/ Eat/ Clean up

7. Write

8. Bath

9. Kneel and suck

10. Fuck

11. Wake up in tub and realize 9 and 10 were just a dream

12. Get in trouble for posting snarky things like this.

13. Repeat 12.

[thegingerpowers]

Please, Sir.. I’ll do anything... now may I please watch the new episode of Supernatural?

[brainofjen]

😂 #bdsmlife #bdsmhumor #kinkyshit #funnymemes #babyyoda #choking #forcechoke https://www.instagram.com/p/B6To2HEgMc0/?igshid=1veshvnhpu8bw