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xhanisai · 4 years

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SALTING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

AO3 / FFN

Summary: Introducing!!!!

The! Ultimate! Salt! Fic! Ever! IN ZA WARUDO!

Featuring Dumb Noir getting taught a lesson about boundaries, Perfectnette getting friends and love interest(s), and LILA GETTING HER ASS HANDED BACK! HOW COULD YOU RESIST SUCH A WONDERFUL FIC?

(All in all, a crack fic on salt fics to bring our spirits up~)

Disclaimer - I've actually only read like one sentence of a salt fic and fucked off afterwards so everything I'm basing off in this fic is purely from exaggerated rumours and gossip about the salt corner THEREFORE if anything here looks familiar or if it seems like I'm taking the piss out of a specific story, it's all just one big coincidence. >:D ~(x)~ . . . Of all locations to settle on for the beginning of this amazing, wonderful, fucking fantastic story, it's established on the Eiffel Tower. Cliched but wonderfully ironic for the phenomenal heroes of Paris. On the beams, higher than the naked eye could see, Ladybug and Chat Noir were... Arguing. The feline hero had his partner's wrist clasped in an iron hold, digging those deadly claws ever so slightly into the soft flesh, piercing the supposed indestructible suit with a creepy grin- "Wait- hold up a second. I would never, NEVER hurt My Lady! Not even unintentionally! And what's with that face I'm making!?" Oh SHUT UP Shit Noir! Let me carry on writing my fucking story jeez! Stop breaking out of character and keep following the script! Anyways~ The skinny, pasty assed hero- "This script sucks..."- -TUGGED Ladybug closer to him, grin widening like he won the lottery as his demonic looking eyes perversely drank in the sight of the clearly uncomfortable looking heroine in his grasps. His face leaned into hers, only coming closer as she tried her best to lean back with a grimace. "Just one kiss Bugaboo~ one kiss won't hurt..." His grip tightened on the appendage, making the girl wince painfully. "Come on Chat Noir...let go! I have already told you, I'm in love with someone else. You seriously need to back off!" Ladybug whimpered, tossing away all her badassery and ability to suckerpunch a fuckboy in the face because hell yeah it ain't relevant to this sexy fic- "You're right Chaton, this script does suck lmao"- IGNORING WHAT THE CANON LB JUST SAID. Ehem. Like a defenseless little shoujou manga protagonist, Ladybug felt tears sparkle in her eyes and pure sadness washed over her frail body before Fuck Noir dipped her into a romantic pose and smashed his lips against hers with soooooo much passion and tongue and teeth and- . What. On. Earth. Oi you stupid cat! Watch where you're putting your hands on the girl! Yikes! What do they teach these Europeans!? Break it up already you hormone riddled boobs! "Oh Minou~ You're so daring~" "Just for you, My Lady~" STAY ON SCRIPT YOU BRATS! Hmph! Carrying on. Suddenly, herculean strength riddled through Ladybug's blood, falcon punching Bitch Noir off her and off the tower, thus HenchBug™ was born. Panting and wiping her lip with her thumb in a really really badass way (YOU KNOW THAT EPIC WAY THAT ANIME CHARACTERS DO TO WIPE THE BLOOD OFF THEIR LIP, RIGHT? RIGHT? ex deeeee), MachoBug swept towards Pussy Noir's broken twiggy body at the bottom of the tower. "You disobeyed me for the umpteenth time, Noir." BadassBug uttered cooly, keeping a blind eye to the growing crowd around her and the mangled up flesh on sticks at her feet. The black and yellow mess didn't respond. "Lo-oooool cos I'm dead!" WE'LL PRETEND WE DIDN'T HEAR THAT EITHER. Anger coursed through Ladybug's veins as all those traumatising memories and moments she had with her horrific partner flashed through her brain like an old window's movie maker AMV with Evanescence's 'Bring Me Back To Life' song blasting at full volume. The conveniently arrived Alya at the front of the crowd live streamed everything on the WadyBwog, babbling about ice cream scoops. "Every time we met up, you'd always make unwanted advances to me. You'd always force a kiss on me. You even slapped my thicc™ ass a few times- once to the beat of fucking Nyan cat!" The hive minded crowd surrounding them 'oooed' and 'aaahed', some snapped a selfie with what's left of the black cat. "Therefore," The sun auspiciously shone behind MariBug, giving her an ethereal, angelic look as she carried on her lecture. "I now deem you unworthy of the miraculous." BugBug fluttered her eyelashes with so much pain as if reciting those words killed her whole generation and their dogs and their hamsters. "Hand it over to me or else I'll force it off you." All of a sudden BuffBug™ was back, bitch slapping CryBabyBug away and menacingly placed one foot on the carcass. "Wow I think she forgot that you're dead Chat Noir," THE HIGH TENSIONED MOMENT REMAINED UNBROKEN AS FAKEBUG- oof- Ladybug rolled her eyes with annoyance at the disgusting boy's silence and immediately knelt down to yank the miraculous off his bony fingers- "Never!" The catboy sprung back to life before anyone could breathe, clutching his hand to guard his ring ferally, froth seeping out of his teeth and fangs gnashing against one another- "Looks like I'm a vampire with rabies now, Bug." "Since when did you have fangs?" "Since two seconds ago-" OH MY GOD YOU TWO! SHUT UP AND LET ME WRITE! Zombie Noir leapt back with a hiss, faux ears and tail twitching with indignation and summoned the ancient destruction power whilst BossBug spun her yoyo around in battle formation, ready to call for her lucky charm anytime soon. Cat and Bug kept up the intense eye contact as that cowboy music from the good, the bad and the fugly played in the background (cheers Lahiffe mah d00d!). "You don't want to become my enemy, do you, Chat N00b?" The heroine spat, bones clicking in place as she stretched her fingers when she and the lad in black circled each other slowly. The crowd and Alya were casually chilling in the background, the latter still narrating about an epic ice cream scoop. "Heh, I won't need to be the enemy if you don't touch MY ring... Milady~"- "MON DIEU! C'EST 'MY LADY'! C'EST N'AI PAS 'MILADY'!" THAT'S THE POINT YOU STUPID CAT! Break out of character one more time and I'll castrate you and feed your teeny tiny *censored* to the dogs! "...My Lady? Is my *censored* small? :(" "If your *censored* was small, you'd never have been able to make me scream at night, Minou~ ;3" ":D"

Regardless! The pussycat feinted to the left before dodging the razor sharp wire of his Lady's (not) yoyo, whipping out his baton (not the tiny one either) and swiftly used it to vault himself away like the coward he CLEARLY is. "You'll never get me alive, THOT!" Was the last thing that small dick energy minded cuck yowled and fled with his tail between his legs. BigBug let out a yell of rage™ and slammed her fist on the ground, branding the sloppy concrete job with a crater as the shockwaves caused the audience to let out a little 'DAYUMMMMMMMM'. "Lol I thought the geezer was dead hahaah! Yo Ladybuggy, mah homie, you and kitty cat did the shame shame already or nah?" Alya, the lil hoe, leant into the heroine's personal space with a crazed grin. She only received a middle finger from the annoyed Asian. (MMmm Mmmm yEAH YEAh trANSiTION so SEXYYYY) Now, it is conveniently time for Marinette's afternoon classes. The exhausted girl dragged her feet up those weird ass spirally steps that could break ankles JUST by looking at them and made it to her classroom, only to pause at the shouting she was hearing behind the door. "Oh boy, time to unleash the kraken..." Silence Adrien! You're not supposed to have appeared yet! Dumb ass blondes these days smh... "HEY! >:0" With a deep breath, the raven haired girl pushed the door open only to be met with what could be best described as a clusterfuck. Tears welled up in her eyes as the remains of her sketchbook (which looked like it had a trip in a paper shredder) was dumped all over the floor. She snapped her head back up only for her heart to literally shatter when she was met with a furious Alya Motherfuckin' Césaire. "Marinetti DupainGhetti. This. Is. Your. Punishment." Alya's glasses flashed sinisterly as her lips curled up into d i s g u s t . The rest of the class mirrored a similar look, acting as if poor little Cheng vored everything they loved and cherished. All except two people. That witch BITCH Lie-la smirked secretly as she cowered behind Alya and the wimp, spineless little shitty Dumbdrien whimpered on his desk, pretending that nothing was happening. "P-P-Punishment for wh-what?" Babynette sobbed, clutching her shoulders as if to hug herself and make her look smaller than she is. She darted her eyes towards the model, begging him internally to say something, anything! Alas, Bitchdrien only looked away guiltily, his thin chapped lips sealed shut. Marinette couldn't believe her bad luck. First there was an akuma attack, then she was assaulted by her shitty partner for the millionth time and now this? "Punishment for bullying our lord and saviour, Lila of course! How dare you make such a sweet girl like her suffer!?" Alya roared, using the power of the seven chaos emeralds and twenty dragonballs to go super satan and pinned Sweetienette against the wall with an elbow. Her hair fizzed with animosity and her eyes gleamed in a demonic red colour- "Dieu...you just had to drag my best friend into this too, huh?" "You'd think this writer is sane enough to know that I'd cataclysm anyone that dared to harm Ma Princesse, non?" "The writer? Sane? Good joke."- IGNORING STUPIDNETTE AND BLOODYDRIEN- Alya snarled, bruising our sweet little angel's poor skin with her brute strength whilst the rest of the class watched without a question. The sausage haired wench munched on some greasy ass popcorn as she watched the show whilst Shamedrien became one with the floor, a perfect doormat for us queens to stomp on. "You tripped her all the time when no one was watching, aggravating her shattered kneecaps. You plagerised her designs, ruining what's left of her sensitive self esteem and dammit don't even get me started on all those rumours you attempted to spread about her, smearing her celebrity status! I've never hated anyone more than you, BITCHINETTE!" Alya harrumphed and then shoved Brokenette against the wall again, possibly snapping her spine and stormed back to her new bestie. "Mon Dieu your best friend just murdered you..." "Mon Dieu my best friend just murdered me..." Tosses a knife at the duo to make them shut the fuck up. Everyone else applauded the psycho journalist for putting Poornette in her place, even Stinkdrien cos he can't handle peer pressure- BAM! . . . "HOW DARE YOU HURT MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG!" A tall, stern looking boy slammed the door open, scooping Deadinette in his arms and blew out steam through his nostrils like a bull. Everyone le gasped as the girl suddenly turned into Alivenette and embraced the stranger like he's her long lost lover (Aiyeeeeeeeeeeee mUH O-T-FUCKING-P! K Y A A A! EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW JACKSHIT ABOUT HIM). "BELIX BRAGRESTE! You saved me~ Don't hurt my homiesexuals please- they're all brainwashed by the sausage haired girl..." The blackberry haired angel begged, tugging on Belix's sleeves. "I didn't do anything-" Uglydrien was quick to defend himself only to melt back down into a doormat by Belix's dark glare, ripping out what spinal tissue the model had left. "Damn straight you didn't do SHIT." Bragreste swiftly delivered a power-kick against Assgreste, yeeting him to the moon and then turned towards the rest of the f00king class, rolling his sleeves up. "As for you nerds...I'm gonna chop you all up into mincemeat and EAT you all with my spaghetti!-" "I'm here Marinette!!!" Another lad swooped in through the door, hips swaying to the beat as 'Luka Luka Night Fever' plays in the background and then posed! Why it's none other than the obviously best written, best character, best BOY in the world: RUKA COFFEE- sorry, I mean Luka Couffaine! He strummed his guitar a few times, nodding and humming as if he was conversing with the beautiful instrument whilst bokeh dots and pink sparkly glitter floated around him. "Ah~ my guitar said that everyone's being a bitch ass motherfucker to our beautiful designer! Come with my Mari~ Take my hand and I'll take you away from this school!" The lycee student didn't wait for her answer and grabbed the star struck girl oh SO romantically~ "No! She should move schools with me!" Belix Bananagreste snatched Nettie back possessively, just like a cat. It was then that the girl decided that when she managed to snatch the black cat miraculous back from the loser that currently wielded it, she was going to give it to Belix- "Ugh don't fuck with me..." "Shhh. You're supposed to have been yeeted to the moon, Chaton," "Marinette please just throttle the writer already-" AND THEN! SUDDENLY! Erm... Errr... AHA! Suddenly all these people from some furry superhero universe came flooding in through the door, yelling insults and real truths about LIE-LA and protecting my best girl Maribear like a boss! Heroes like Gamien and Dason Bob and that guy and err, the other guy and yeah AND THEN they all began to BEAT UP that BITCH LILA and then- "Oh no she's losing it, Adrien I don't think this will last any longer..." "No kidding!" THEN JAGGED STONE CAME FLYING THROUGH THE WINDOW, JAMMING OUT HIS LATEST SONG ABOUT HOW LILA IS SUCH A LIAR AND EXPOSED EVERY SINGLE THING SHE DID TO BEST GIRL MACHONETTE! THEN ALL THESE OTHER KIDS FROM THE SCRAPPED PV UNIVERSE CAME IN VIA A CONGO LINE AND MARINETTA DECIDED TO GIVE THEM THE OTHER MIRACULOUS COS WHY NOT!? AND THEN CHLOE BECAME MARINETTE'S NEW BFF COS HELL YEAH I LOVE VIBING WITH PEOPLE WHO BULLIED ME AND MY PEERS FOR FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT AHAHAAHAH QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS- "Adrien, I'm going to kill her. She needs to stop." "Go on then~" AND THEN! AND FUCKING THEN! SCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!! . . . [Error 404: The following writer has unfortunately met her demise through unknown means. We apologise for any inconveniences. Please keep scrolling as we clear up the mess. Have a good day.] . . . "Huh...that was anticlimactic...now what?" "You go off snogging my rejected predecessor and the guitar boy? >:(" "As if I'd go for anyone other than my silly kitty!" ":D" . . . ~(x)~ A/N: I am never EVER writing anything this cursed AGAIN! How can you bash anyone but the villains in this series!? Damn! I can't even say I'm sleep deprived! This is the most fucked up shit I've written and I'm super alert oof!

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namfine · 4 years

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◐ | 𝕬𝖛𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖆 : 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕣𝕠𝕒𝕕 | ◑

Greed is an uncontrolled longing for increase in the acquisition or use: of material gain; or social value, such as status, or power.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Γ pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Γ word count: 5.2k

Γ summary: When you’re in need of some quick, flashy jewelry for an event, what better place to go than a pawn shop? However when nothing catches your eye, the shop owner shows you something that you absolutely must have. But when the pricing is much more than you anticipated, you think of another way to get it. Just how far are you willing to go for a bargain?

Γ tags: 18+, hoseok x reader, unprotected sex, oral (f), monster fucking kinda, sexual bribery(?) (if you couldnt tell, you fuck for the jewelry), he cums in you lmao, ripped panties, hair pulling, demon au, seven deadly sins au

Γ part: 3 of 7 of our Seven Deadly Sins Milestone Challenge.

⋫ Link to Master List here

Γ a/n: Welcome to part 3 of our seven deadly sins! Hope you guys aren’t too full from reading gluttony because now it’s time for a little greed. Things get a lil more freaky deaky in this chapter so I hope you all enjoy it! A new chapter will be released everyday so please look forward to the remaining sins! As always, thot on, sinners ;)

-Fizzy ԅ(♡﹃♡ԅ)

When you had first stepped into the pawn shop, you were immediately taken aback. You were so used to seeing the stereotypical dirty, everything out of place, type shops on tv that you were expecting it to be the same in person. However you were surprised to say the least, when the faint smell of sage drifted through your nose, and if you concentrated hard enough you could pick out scents of leather as well.

You slowly walked through the shop, eyes flicking to and fro because everything seemed to catch your attention. From the organized shelves of books, to the clear, gold rimmed cases filled with trinkets, to even the perfectly stocked and alphabetized case of video games and dvd’s. However you walked right past all of those things and more to find the jewelry section.

Tonight you were attending a friend’s art gallery event and while you did have an outfit already picked out, you decided last minute you wanted to buy a new piece of jewelry to bring it all together, because let’s face it, those little pearl earrings were not going to cut it. So when you caught sight of a pawn shop you hadn’t seen before on your street, you decided you would probably find something extravagant but also cheap there. You were only going to wear it for one night after all.

When reaching the front of the store, your eyes flick downward into the clear display full of various jewelry. There were pieces here and there that made your lips purse in consideration but nothing really jumped out at you. Walking towards the right while still looking down, your fingertips dragged across the glass, hoping that something would catch your eye. Too deep in thoughts, you didn’t notice someone calling out to you until your hand softly bumped into someone else’s on the other side of the display.

Your body jumped slightly and you pulled your hand away, an apology ready to come out but dying on your tongue once you looked up and saw who the hand belonged to.

He was absolutely breathtaking, literally, when you looked up at him you swore you felt your breath get lodged in your throat. Your eyes landed on his gentle smile, causing his cheeks to round up into two perfect little circles, his warm eyes made an odd feeling spread throughout your chest- ‘is it a little hotter in here?’-, and his wavy black hair parted down the middle. He seemed ethereal, with his black blazer over the matching shirt and pants. On his ring finger was a bright topaz ring, a gold band surrounding it, the surface glittering softly in the harsh fluorescent lights. It was strange you thought, ‘He seems a little too overdressed for a pawn shop, no?’, his look making your eyebrows furrow slightly together.

He looked to be out of place, like a queen participating in a hot dog eating contest.

“Can I help you with anything?” He inquired softly, tilting his head to the side.

“Uh...,” You shook your head and cleared your throat, trying to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m looking for a piece of jewelry.” Your eyes glanced down and scanned over the items again. “I uh, have an event later on tonight and I’m trying to find something last minute.” You chuckled sheepishly, looking back up at the handsome man.

“Well what do you have in mind?”

“Not sure, I want it to bring my whole outfit together though.” You smiled thoughtfully, feeling your cheeks warm at the smile you were receiving back.

“What are you wearing? If I see the outfit, I can help you out some more.” So you pulled out your phone, scrolling through your photos to find the picture of the outfit you took a couple of days earlier. It was a simple little long sleeve, black dress, with a v in the back. Your simple heels and pearl earrings were enough to make you presentable, but you really wanted to present yourself.

The man studied it for a few seconds before nodding politely, gesturing to another display case further to your right. Upon reaching it, you noticed this one was filled more with necklaces with a few charms scattered about. While they were more intricate than the ones you were previously looking at, your heart wasn’t really pulling towards any of them.

“See anything you like?” There was something warm about his voice, that just made you feel calm. Which was strange, how could a stranger make you feel this way?

“I’m sorry, not really...these are all very nice though. Thank you anyway.” You glanced up at him, giving a short nod before starting to turn around.

“You know, I might have something for you.” The way he said it made you halt in your tracks. It came out as being helpful but there was something laced underneath it, something that made your body feel like it was being wrapped in chills. You turned back to him and cocked your head to the side, silently urging him to continue.

“Come, I have it in the back room.” He stepped off to the side and pulled open a little door for you. You knew it was odd, him inviting you to the back of the store. Why couldn’t he just go and grab it? Your questions continued to rack your brain, even as you began to walk behind the counter. And when you heard the click of the door locking into place, it was only then that you noticed you were the only person in the store.

As you followed the man to the back, the hallway you were in seemed endless, your heart began to thump in your chest. Your gaze went upwards, the yellow lights above your head casting eerie glows throughout the hallway. You looked at the man's back, watching his shoulders move behind his jacket. Soon enough you couldn’t hear the music coming from the front of the shop anymore, the lights becoming nothing but a small dot. It had seemed you were walking forever but it was only now that you had lost sight of the front. A shadow on the wall caught your attention and as you looked at it, it went away. For a brief moment…

No that’s silly, the lights were just messing with your vision.

But…

For a quick second, it seemed like the shadow of the man had horns protruding from the top of his head.

You scoffed and shook your head, the thought being completely ridiculous.

“Hm? Something funny, y/n?” He looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“Oh ah, I was just thinking about something. Nothing worth mentioning.” You replied, still mainly focused on the wall. He gave a sharp nod, a smile gracing his face before turning back towards the front. Inhaling deeply, you continued following the strange man, until finally, he pushed aside a curtain and you stepped into a room, the sight making your jaw drop in awe.

“This is where I keep my most prized possessions, too valuable for me to put out there for the world to see.” He murmured, delicately swiping his finger over the surface of something on a shelf. You couldn’t quite make out what it was, for something past him got your attention. You took a hesitant step forward, tilting your head to the side, trying to make sense of it.

A throne sat in the back of the room, the seat filled to the brim with gold coins, a few gems and jewels here and there. You could make out a bottle of wine lodged in the center of the pile, the black color popping out intensely against the bright colors of the gold. But upon closer inspection, you noticed there was an orange light, seeming to only shine on the bottle, making you realize that it was a dark red instead. On one of the arms, was a clear crystal skull, dazzling amethysts acting as eyes. As if your awe couldn’t get any bigger, on the top of the throne was a crown, far more extravagant than the ones you had seen previously. It was jewel encrusted all around, but instead of it being gold or silver, this one was stark black. One emerald stood in the middle while tiny versions of it ran around the rim and protruding from the top of it was a bright green snake, poised as if it was getting ready to strike.

The sound of a throat clearing snapped you out of your thoughts.

He chuckled, “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, sorry. This room is just wow, it’s amazing. I’ve never seen so many treasures in one room before.” You fingertips pressed to your lips, taking another moment to look around the room once more.

“This is the piece I wanted to show you.” You looked to the left to see him behind a glass counter. When you walked up to it, he had his hands spread out on the glass, giving you a small smirk. Your heart skipped a beat and you bit down on your lip, feeling that warmth go through your body once more. He glanced down and tapped at the glass with a fingernail, the noise making a sharp sound. When you glanced down, you felt a chill go down your spine. On the top of the glass his fingernail looked normal but in the reflection was a sharp black nail instead. Your eyes quickly looked over to his other nails to find them exactly the same; sharp and black. When you looked in the middle of where the reflection of his face should be, you had barely registered relief when you saw his eyes.

There was a sinister yellow glow, gleaming right at you. And if that weren’t frightening enough, the man smiled at you, two sharp canines peeking through. At that, your head snapped back up to look at him, but instead of what you saw in the glass, it was just his normal features. With wide eyes, you opened your mouth to say something but were cut off at once by him placing a yellow velvet box on top, the sound louder than necessary.

He opened the top and you were at a loss for words. The inside was a darker shade of yellow, a small mirror on the underside of the lid, and in the middle was a beautiful necklace. A thin silver chain adorned an oval blood red ruby, four thin, sharp prongs on each side, holding it. The lighting from above made them glimmer, causing a thought to run through your mind that they almost looked like claws. He pulled it out of the box and dangled it in front of his face, the gem swaying gently in front of him.

“That’s beautiful…” You murmured. Your throat felt parched all of a sudden, so you swallowed the ball of saliva forming in your mouth, but it did nothing to quench the growing thirst in your mind.

“How much?” You asked, taking a brief second to flick your gaze over to the man then back to the necklace. From your peripheral you could see a smirk grow on his face, his eyebrow raising up a little. The tip of his tongue peeked out to lick his lips and he leaned in closer to you. Yet, you still couldn’t take your eyes off the gem.

“Well normally the things in this room aren’t for sale, they are for my viewing pleasure only.” He paused, taking in a breath. “But you seemed really desperate to find something so,” He paused again and that was when you finally looked away and at him, catching him eyeing you up and down slowly. When he reached your face, a sly grin appeared.

“$1,000.”

“$1,000? Are you fucking serious?” Your eyes bugged out at his answer and you couldn’t help the harsh tone. However it seemed that the man was unaffected, cocking his head to the side and swinging the necklace delicately. You didn’t know much about gemstones but you were certainly positive that it was an outrageous price, especially for something in a pawn shop.

“I am actually being quite generous with the pricing y/n, normally this goes for much higher value.” His voice took a condescending ring and his eyebrows bunched together. Worry crossed your face, you really didn’t want to pay that much money for something you were only going to wear for tonight but on the other hand you needed this necklace. It was truly something you had never seen before.

You looked at the piece of jewelry once more, staring directly into the center of the ruby. You didn’t know if you were still reeling from hearing the price or if it was really happening but the middle of the gem seemed to be swirling, looking like a mini vortex. Anger flashed through your body and you had half a mind to just snatch it out of his hand and make a run for it. Your fingers twitched at the thought and it appeared that the man noticed, for he jerked his hand up and caught the ruby in his hand. His fingers clasped shut around it, completely obstructing it from your eyes.

“If you think you’ll be able to get away, you won’t. I’ll have you pinned down before your fingers even got to touch this necklace.” He hissed in a low voice and you didn’t miss the way your body shivered at his tone. You pressed your lips together and chose your next words carefully.

“This is a pawn shop isn’t it? Can we negotiate?” As soon as the last word left your mouth, you felt the tension in the room shift. He squinted at you and leaned in closer to your body, staring intensely into your eyes. You tried your best to not look away, your heart beginning to speed up at his close proximity. The corner of his mouth quirked up into a smirk, the action making your breath hiccup in your throat.

“Depends, what are you willing to give?” He muttered, now looking down at your lips. He didn’t even try to hide it, for his gaze lazily rose back up to your eyes. He was so close that you could see details on his face more clearly, like the mole on his top lip or the hint of yellow slowly whirling in the center of his eyes…

Your eyes widened at noticing it but before you could move away, he brushed his fingertips on the top of your hand. He put his other hand next to your faces, letting his fingers open to allow the necklace to drop. It swung before coming to a stop, the want and need of having it coursing through your mind once more.

You needed this, and you were going to get it one way or another.

You pressed forward, feeling just the barest of touches when your lips made contact with his. He didn’t move so you took that as your sign to continue. You closed your eyes, your lips now fully on his and moved against him, small flashes of yellow going off behind your eyelids. You heard the sound of something, the necklace you presumed, clatter against the glass top of the display. His hands gripped the side of your face, now kissing you back with more ferocity. A nip at your bottom lip caused you to gasp, and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth.

You felt like your head was clouded, the lightheadedness making you dizzy. A moan slipped past you and your hands wandered up to grip his suit, the material oddly clearing up your mind, acting as a sort of grounding object to bring you back down. You attempted to jerk him towards you, wanting more of his touch, but he dropped one hand off your face and grabbed your wrists, throwing them off of his body. You stumbled a bit forward and smacked a hand on top of the glass to steady yourself, slightly breaking your kiss. You wasted no time in going back, hands going around his neck now, kissing with such hunger and need.

The man used his free hand to knot itself in your hair, he tugged your head back and went to bite at your neck, his teeth making you gasp. Your hands dug into his hair and gave small tugs, your breathy moans urging him to bite harder. You needed more so you tightened your hold onto his hair and pulled him back up to your mouth. Surprisingly he allowed you to do so and when your lips locked, you raised a leg and pushed yourself up on the counter. He moved back to allow you more room, sliding your legs down on the other side and opening them to let him stand in between.

He grabbed your waist and brought you closer to himself, the feeling of his erection against you made a wave of pleasure go to your core. Your legs wrapped around his waist to lock him in and he grinded against you, squeezing your waist every couple of seconds. His hands slid down your thighs, fingernails digging into you. The subtle pain made you gasp against his mouth and you almost moaned out loud again when he pushed your legs apart, using one hand to guide you onto your back.

He reached up to unbutton your jeans and undo your zipper, yanking them down when he finished. He tossed them to the side and put his mouth right over your mound, moving his lips against your skin. Your legs went to lock around his head but he delivered a swift smack to the outside of your left thigh.

“Keep your legs open for me sweetheart.” He mumbled against you and dragged his tongue up your panties. You let out a low moan at the feeling, lightly tangling your hand in his black hair. He didn’t protest so you twirled a few pieces in between your fingers, the silky texture easily sliding between them. He hooked a finger into your panties and pulled them to the side, taking a quick swipe up your folds, the abrupt feeling of his tongue made your voice hitch and your hips to jerk upwards. His finger that was holding your panties, went to the center and you felt a sudden pull and the sound of material ripping. You lifted your head to see what had happened, but he suddenly pulled your folds apart and licked up once more.

“Fuck,” your voice squeaked out, head dropping back onto the glass. He dug in, tongue licking up and down your pussy, his nose nudging your clit every so often. Your legs trembled, wanting to lock around his head and you almost gave in until you felt two sharp points prodding at the inside of your folds. Your legs twitched at the feeling but you brushed it away when his tongue shoved into your hole. An obscene moan left your mouth and you tugged him impossibly closer to your cunt. You felt that same sharp point directly on your clit now, circling around it lightly.

Your pussy clenched around his tongue and it seemed to spur him on, the sharp point now pressing slightly harder on you. It only lasted a few seconds before his thumb replaced it, pressing harshly onto your clit and causing pleasure to travel throughout your body. It circled around you rapidly, his tongue now moving at what seemed like an impossible speed inside you. Soon that familiar tug pulled inside you and your hips rose upwards.

“Pl-please, I’m gonna-!” You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before your orgasm ripped through your body, your mouth open in a silent scream, your pussy spasming around his tongue. You came down from your high, your breath coming out ragged, and looked down at him. He smirked at you, your arousal glistening on his lips. His eyes looked faintly yellow in your hazy vision. You became slightly more aware that there were more points pricking into your thighs, dragging down. You were pulled up and into a kiss, tasting yourself, his hands going to your lower back. He let you go and grabbed a hand, pulling you off the counter. You allowed him to guide you and when you noticed him leading you towards the throne, you felt your already aching pussy clench.

He barely gave you time to settle before he turned you around and pushed you onto the pile of treasure in the center of the throne. You landed on your palms, feeling some coins slide from beneath your hands. You adjusted to resting on your forearms, the wine bottle directly in front of your face. Upon closer inspection of it, you could clearly make out that it was a dark rusty red color, with a faded label on the side. The glint of the crystal skull caught your attention to your left, but you didn’t have time to glance at it, for you felt your shirt being lifted up and over your head. Before you had a chance to settle, the back of your bra was pulled and you felt it give away. A hand went to your front and yanked it away from you, the coolness from the coins brushed against your breasts and nipples, instantly making them harden.

You heard the sound of clothes rustling and heard a muted thump. Giving a quick side glance, you saw his jacket on the floor. The sound of his belt buckle clinking and then it being thrown to the floor had your hole clench. He kicked your legs apart and rubbed his cock in between your folds, hands going to hold onto your waist. You shivered in anticipation, the combination of him spreading your arousal and the cold contrast of the coins made your mouth water.

“Are you ready for me, darling?” One of his hands left your waist to drag down your back, those sharp points you had been feeling making your spine arch up, you were enjoying them at this point. You gave a meek nod and soon he was stretching your walls, bottoming out in no time. Your fingers splayed out and dug into the pile of coins for support, feeling your breasts touch them when he began to move.

He wasted no time in pounding into your cunt, the force of his hips making you moan out like a whore. One hand went to go fist in your hair, twisting it around his wrist for a more secure hold. “Look at you, such a greedy little thing. Such a greedy little whore for my cock..” You bit your lip at his words, your eyelids fluttering closed.

“Do you always fuck strangers for things you want? Are you that desperate for material things? You little slut.” Opening your eyes, you could see his reflection in the bottle, that one orange light highlighting the object perfectly. His form began to slowly shift before your eyes, and even though you were getting the fucking of a lifetime, you were still coherent enough for a wave of fear to travel through your body.

Maybe it was all the bright lights or you were still delirious from your powerful orgasm but soon enough you saw two pointed objects begin to protrude from his head, and a pair of wings slowly sprout from his back. Your chest quivered but yet you couldn’t bring yourself to scream, at least not out of fear. Panic mixed in with euphoria, the idea that you were here having sex with something not of this world oddly made your already sopping cunt, gush even more. When his wings softly flared out, you kept telling yourself you were just imagining it, and even when you felt something soft brush against the sides of your waist, a small part of you prayed that it was just because all of your senses were on overload.

The more you stared at the reflection, the tighter your body became. What was even happening right now, why are you still here? Why had you not pulled away and ran while you still had the chance? As you racked your brain for answers, there was a tiny voice that kept pushing through, telling you what you didn’t want to hear. That throughout all this, there was a familiarity from it all. That you had seen this before; the wings, horns, the aura of the creature. You briefly wondered if you were pulling it from an old horror movie you’d seen a while ago, but it didn’t sit right.

As if sensing the puzzle coming together in your head, several sharp pricks were dug into your waist- you quickly put two and two together with everything happening, and deduced that they were claws- you felt him pierce through your skin, the sudden pain making you gasp out loud. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the reflection, and the final nail went in when his eyes locked with yours. With a sinister grin, he blinked and two bright yellow eyes stared right into your soul.

With a cry of terror and pleasure, your orgasm came abruptly, your thighs shaking so uncontrollably that your forearms gave out, and you fell against the mountain of coins. You felt him slam into you a couple of more times before his cum filled you up to the brim, feeling it dribble down your legs after he pulled out. You laid there for a couple of seconds to catch your breath, and you were afraid to turn around and be face to face with whatever just gave you an orgasm of a lifetime.

Gathering your bearings, you pushed up and silently counted to three, not bothering to hide the shock on your face when you saw him looking normal. No claws, no horns, no wings, no glowing yellow eyes…

He zipped his pants and picked his belt up from the floor, smiling at your expression. When you still hadn’t said anything, he picked up his jacket and folded it over his arm, heading towards the counter. You reached down for your shirt and bra, fumbling around trying to get them back on. When you finished you still had not said a word, silently going to the counter to reach for your pants that he was holding out to you. You put them on but still couldn’t shake off your feelings.

He chuckled softly at you and picked up the necklace, giving it a soft look before handing it to you. Wordlessly you took it, the cool metal feeling hot in your hands.

“Well, a bargain is a bargain. Sorry about your panties by the way. Are you alright?” He questioned with a laugh, moving a hand up to smooth down his hair. It didn’t even look out of place, completely untouched.

You brushed it off, still confused about everything “Um...I’m-I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me, I-” You stopped and swallowed, the realization that you just fucked a stranger for a necklace setting in. A flash of horror crossed your face, and you almost cried until he shook his head and gave you a small smile.

“Don’t be, we all do crazy things when consumed with greed.” Even though there was a smile on his face, it barely did anything to ease your discomfort.

“The necklace is yours, come, I’ll walk you outside.” He walked around the counter and nodded towards the front, silently following behind him. The walk to the front was shorter than you remember, the yellow lights you recalled being there, now just white. When you stepped out of the backroom, it was still bright outside, and there were still no people inside. It had felt like you spent hours back there.

When you walked out the door, you still felt uneasy. What exactly had you seen in the reflection of the wine bottle? Why was your need for the necklace so intense?

Something clicked in your mind and deciding that you wanted to leave with some sort of dignity, you turned around to ask him a question.

“I’m so sorry, but I just realized I didn’t get your name,” Heat spread across your cheeks but you continued. “I just got…overwhelmed.” You gave a sheepish smile and he smiled back at you.

“My name is Hoseok.” He grins and gives you a small bow.

“Thank you, Hoseok. For um, this.”

“You’re welcome, next time be careful what you bargain for when you want something.” His tone was playful but chideful, and you couldn’t help but give an exasperated laugh. You gave a politeful nod and turned around to head to your car.

“Goodbye y/n, have fun at your event tonight.”

You almost didn’t register what he said, until you did. You hadn’t told him your name. When you turned back to question him, your heart stopped in your chest when the pawn shop was no longer there. Instead it was just an empty, abandoned building. Deciding that you had enough and needed to get out of there, you sped to your car and drove as fast as you could to your house, wanting to get away as soon as possible.

Your nerves relaxed when you reached your house and got ready. The last thing you put on was the necklace, feeling the ruby flare against your skin. You fingered it gently, the memory of fucking Hoseok burned into your brain.

Once you arrived at your friends art event, you immediately fell into the chatter and hustle of everything. Friends were complimenting your outfit left and right, especially the necklace. You met up with your friend, giving her a congratulatory hug and kiss. You were so deep in conversation that you didn’t notice a mutual friend of yours staring at you, or more so your neck. You were about to question what was wrong until she pointed a finger at your neck.

“Y/n, sorry but do you shower with that necklace on?” You bunched your eyebrows together and your hand went up to clutch it.

“No, I just got this today. Why?”

Now your small group of friends were all staring at it, the stares making your face heat up.

“Your neck is turning green.”

You paused for a half second, then took out your phone to access the camera. Sure enough, there was a thin line of green on your skin. As you looked more at the necklace, you noticed small details of rust on the chain and the ruby that was shining so brightly before you left, was now dull and lifeless.

He had tricked you, he had given you a fake.

#bts smut #jhope x reader #hoseok x reader #seven deadly sins #jhope smut #demon au #admin fizzy #bts imagines #bts scenarios

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lenin-it-to-win-it · 7 years

Text

the lorax, but everytime a character appears its bnha and every time u read it u want 2 die

summary: oh you know damn well whats coming, sweetie

notes: its 2:35 am. i spent over an hour writing this. pls clap.

*****************************************************************************************************

it was a suny day in thneedville and the sun was shining but it was COLD and DARk in dekus hart as he gazed sadly off intot he distance. “mommm wy doesnt todoroki senpai-san NOTICE me???”” he lameneted to his mom.

“maybe its ur ugly little pissbaby child face” inko suggested as she cooked up a spaghety for brekfast.

“how can i impress him??” deku questioned

“try lifting, cucklord” said his grandma recovery girl as she casually bench bressed 600 pounds of rocks.

“how bout i find him a plant insted?” deku sugested thinking about the tre todoroki painted on his house. he had asked todoorki if he liked trees and he sed ‘ya sur i gues’. “bitches lov plants”

“yeeee i kno wat u mean giv him some *lettuce*” recovery gorl winked

“wat a bout a tree” “but TREEs are DEAD” inko exlciamed! she threw the spagheti on the floor for dramtic effect and cltuched dekus head in his hands. “Son do not SPEAK of such things or The All For One’HAre Corporation Copyright TM wil BUST thru the ROOF and kill you! Now sit down and eat ur capitalism! Consumerism is god hallejeuluah amen!”

“tree” deku whisperd

the hose exploded and every1 died but they were okey. avaracious all-for-one’hare, a tiny liitle with a shiny bowlcut and tiny little man feet bitchslaped deku across the face. “NO TREES ALLOUD!!1!” he shrieked. he bloo a kiss ot dekus mom “that plate of capitalism u have is cooking upped looks lovly mam”

inko blsuhed. “thanks”

“just make sure to keep the kiddo here away from any” all-for-one’hare, lowered his voice, which was hard bc he was already so short and low and close tothe flor. “trees”

inko gASPed! “of CORSE! i wil keep him away from the place where the trees once were by the Forbindden WAll u buildt with ur money to keep out the Bad COmmunist SentimentsTM”

recovery girl made shifty suspicious looks on her face “sure yea me too”

all-for-one’hare, was convinced. “I AM CONVINECED” he sed “by felicia!” he hopped on his hoverbord and hoverborded away.

inko cleaned the spaghety off the flor and recovery girl pulled deku by the leg into the backyard. “YO FUCKER U BETTER RUN UR ASS OVER THE COMMIE WALL AND GET A TREE SO U CAN START SLINGIN SOME MAD PUSS”

“but gramma im gay”

“then start slingin some nuts my d00d the POINT is get a TRE e” she scremed. “when i was, a yung boi, my ffather, took me over the wall, to see a bunch of trees, he sed son when, u grow up, dont kill them , the trees, and bring the nonbelievers, to come and plant new trees”

“k”

she siezed dekus sholders “GO FORTH CHILD BRING THE TREES SO WE CAN MAKE THEM GROW ANEW AS THE PROPHECY HAS FORETOLD, OUT BEYOND THE WALL LIVES A MYSTERIOUS MAN CALLED THE ONCE-FOR-ALLER, FIND HIM, HE WILL TELL YOU HIS TRAGIC TALE OF TREE AND BRING NEW LIFE TO THIS BARREN CAPITALIST HELLSCAPE, NOW GO”

“k” deku hopped on his totaly radicel scooter headed 2 the wall. a robot cat watched him forehsadowingly.

it was hella empty over the commie cuck wall with not even a bORger king in site!!!1! tree stumps covered the flor and clouds of smonk from a thousand vape pens darkened the sky. a ded bird lay deadly on the ground while its bird children cried over its bird corpse. it was sad. deku took a sad face selfie with the ded bird then did a sick ollie over the corpse and headed toward the mysterious shack in the distants.

the shack had a bucket in front of the dor labeled “piss”. deku hopped on in the piss bucket “YO ONCE-FOR-ALLER U GOT KIK??” he cried. wind wistled past his ears and he coffed from the vape smoke but then the pis buckt got pulled up on a ROPE and deku found himself hOISted up to a wINdOW!!!! he stareed face to face at a pair of black eyes with blue spots in the middle like limpid tears and some long bony arms with glvovs and yaoi hands reached out to slap him.

“WHAT” he yelled “ARE YOU DOOING” he leaned closer “IN MY SWWAAAAAAMP!????”

deku wet his pants and criied. “i sutjj,,, i jstu wann, t a t;rree,,” he said sobbily. “i,m tr yiyng to get s enpai , t o noticnse me,, an ,n and i thgout,, i fi got, hima t,r,ree, he wo uld liek me”

“fucken millenials” snarled the once for aller “its always senpai this, thrussy that, my neck my back, my snapping-chat, wy wold i giv u a tre??”

“b-because i,, i brought u a SPAGHETTY” deku exxclaimed, pulling pounds of spagheetyi out of his pockets

the once for aller slorped up the spaghetti hongrily “ya ok i gues i can tel u my storey now. its a dark and trageic tale of capitalism, like the star wors preqols” a tear ran down his bony old cheek. “but insted of jar jar binks thers only me, booboo the fool”

there was a crossdissolve and suddenly they were in the once-for allers past where he was a big bara man with bara tiddies and twinky skinny geans no where near the size needed to accomodate for his phat dong. he rode along in a cariege puled by a single muel

“FASTER AIZAWA KUN” cried the once-for-aller hapily. “those proletariats arent gonna exploit themselves!”

aizawa the mule grunted sexily and plowed on, workin that tight little mule ass.

the once-for-aller started shredding out a sick nasty solo on an elextric guitar and it was RAD AS HELL as he blasted out the opening cords to jake pol’s magmnum opiss “its everyday bro”. “we gotta dab on those haters aizawa kun” said the once-for aller with a very gay wink

aizawa the mule grunted in annoyance. he could not dab, for his sexy mule bodey had no arms.

they fond a metric shitload of trees and there were like wildlifes and shit running around. bears (like endeovor) froclikced int he woods with their hairy bara nippels exposed 2 the world, tsuyu and her frog pals swam in the woter, and tokoyami the borb boy floo in the sky wich was pure and clean without a single trace of vape smoke. the tres looked fuckable so the once for aller busted a nut against one trunk then wipped out a glock and started shootin them down “YEHAW fuCKERS iTS HIGH NOON” he screamed in texan, his native language, as he mowed downt he trees the way present mics sexy voice mows down the pussey.

sudenly DANY DEVITO IN A FURSOOT APEARED. he was tiny and magestic and orange and so fucken valid. also he was grand toledo. “CUNT” he yelled kicking the once for aller in th e kneecaps. “THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT!!!!1! YOU CANT JUST START WEED WACKIN THES TREES WITH YOUR YANKEE DONGLE DANDY AND SHOOTING THEM WITH GUNS!1! THAT IS BAD AND WRONG! CAPTIN PLANET DIED FOR OUR SINS”

the once for aller looked down at the tiny orange man then down at his own big bulgin bara tiddes “i cold crush u 2 deth with my tiddys, maybe u shuld stay out of my way dude’

dany deveto gasped angrely. “how DARE!!1!” he screamed, punching the once-for-allers big toe. “BUDDY I WILL PERSONALLY FUCK YOUR GRAVE WITH MY OWN TWO ASSCHEEKS IF YOU SAY ONE MORE FUCKING WORD, I DEFY U TO TALK SHIT, COME AT ME SCRUBLORD IM RIPT”

“try me gardfielf” the once for aller laffed “iv ben drinkign plenty of nut milk so my boneses are helthy and Stronk”

daney devito pulled out his 20 inch thunderdong and beat the once for aller in the head with it until he was past oout on the ground. the woodland crreatures danced hapily around the bodey but then he woke up

“u kno wat” he moaned “mabye capitalism isnt so good, lets al liv together in communism and friendship, and i wont cut and/or fucc any of the trees”

danny deveto was mostly appeased. “ya ok, but if u try anymore fuckin shit ill go back in time and cuck ur grandparents.”

dannneie dievoto tried to hav the once-for aller killed on at least 10 separate occasions and the once for aller did slip in some clandestine tree fuckage now and agein, but other than that the communism and friendship was good. but everything changed went he fire nation atteacked, they defeeted endevor esily but then the once for allers slutty, sluty family showed up to REEK HAVICK :0 !!!1!

the once for allers ugley mom, sir nighteye, stepped out of their cheap car and did the anime glasses thing “toshi u commie thot” he said with distaste “stop being poor”

“but MOM” the once for aller wined “i HAV to be por! its good for the envorionemnt and my new animal frends and if i dont dany devito will beat me over the head with his massive meaty man-canoe!”

“dont b lil bitch, do a capitalism.”

the once for allers loud cosin hizashy jumped out of the wagon. “YAINT” he shrieked at 1000000 decibels, killing 90% of life on erth. “ARE WE GON FUCK SOME TREES OR WHAT”

the once for aller looked at his disproving mom, then at his loud cosin, then at the very fuckable trees. his eyes lingered on a sexy sap hole. “yea we are” he said, pulling out his gitar sexily. “how bad could it posbiley be??”

the answer was prety fucken bad as it turned out. a metric fuckton of people paid to watch the once for aller and his family fuck trees to deth by throwing moneey at them like they were stripers, but then al the tres were fucked ded!!11! the bears starved into ity bity twinks, unable to maintain the THicc, tsuyu and the frogs choked and coffed up water ful of human piss as they peed in the water while laughing in delite at the once for allers antics, and tokoyami and the birbs coffed out their organs from the clouds of vape smoke filing the sky.

soon ther was no one left. the once for allers familey left with al the money, aizawa the fuckable mule was ded, and it was just the once for aller allone in the rouns of his former capitalistc glory with only the bright yellow banana suit on his back to remind him of those days.

dani devioto looked at the once for aller with sad eyes before kciking his own ass so hard he got sent rocketing thru the stratusphere, leaving behind an imapct crater with a single word

“cunt” deku whispered softly in the present as he gazed into the crator.

the once for aller sighed sadley. “iv wondered for years and yeers wat he ment by that, but i think i understand now. unless some1 like u stops being a cunt, then nothign is gona get better, u nut”

“shit fam thats deeep” sed deku

the once for aller looked at dekus pissbaby child face. “i lost evrything to capitalism, my friends, nature, my family” teers rolled down his cheks “i even sold my organs to buy cocane and strippers so now i hav a total of 2 orgens in my hole bodey.”

“kinky”

“but we can change that!” cried the once for aller passionetely. “i am going 2 giv u a tree to plant in thneedvil so communism can return and bring back the life stole from this world with my big stick diplomacy. go now, young midorieya-shonen my boy, GO FORTH IN THE NAME OF COMMUNISM AND UN-CUNT THIS MISEREBLE WORLD!!1!”

ther was an epic radicel chase seen wher deku had to fite the The All For One’HAre Corporation Copyright TM and his grandma recovery girl did sik triks on her moped and deku almost but not quite got to kis todorki senpai but they made it to the town square.

deku held todorokis hands and tenderly put the baby tre in it “here” he sed “take my seed”

todoroky noded solemly. “i hav never wanted anything more than to be given ur seed midoreya” he was about 2 plant the seed in the ground when all for one’hare appered! “NOT SO FAST FUCKHOLES” he yelled capitalistically. “this TRee is COMMuNISM!!1!” he cried to the townspeople. “do u RELLY want to be FILTHY COMMIES???”

“Commies hate micdonaleds!!1” screamed one impassoned townsperson.

“LETS BOIL THEM IN OIL” some one else agred.

“but guys wait!!!” deku cried “dont u want like, nature n shit?”

“CAPITALISTS WANT TO REPLACE EVERY REMOTELY FUCKABLE PERSON WITH A TREE” all for one’hare screamed

teh twonspoeple gasps, thens tarted chanting for deku todo and grandma to get boiled in oil

deku sweated nervosly “um but,, treees,, r good?”

“OIL OIL OIL”

“BACK IN MY DAY WE FUCKED TREES AND WE LIKED IT” recovery girl rored!

that was acomeplling argument. the boil in ooil chanting slowed

all for one turned to his henchperson stain “STAIN” he yelled “TEL THESE HIPPY DIPPY COMMIE TREE FUCKERS WHAT WE REALLY THINK OF THIS CAPTEN PLANET B-ROLL BULLSHIT”

stain cleered his throt and burst into magnificent song “let it gro let it gro, so we can have trees to bone” he sang. he was The Ultimate ChadTM so every1 agreed with him imediately. they throow all for one’hare into a pit of spiders where eh was eten and killed and planted the seed in the fertile butthole of the earth wher it could blosom and gro.

in the folowing yeers trees started groiwng beyond the wals and the once for aller crawled out of his shame sahck to water them with his nut as an act of penanc.e

slowly, magesticsally, danny devito in a fursewt flew down from the sky. “ya done good cunt” he grunted, tenderly slapping the once for allers boney ass with his furry orange old man boner. “ya done good.”

they both floated up to gay heaven by their ass skins wher the once for allers big bara past self greeted them with open arms. “all of ur trubles are ogre” he whispered tenderly in their tidditlyated ears.

the once for aller caressed his past self “oh oncey” he whispered sweetly “are u shure we should do this?? can u even,,, oh, how can u love me in this broken down form??”

past once for aller smiled and did the kabedon thing with his future self who whimpered arousedly and blushed carnelian. “its not who we are on the outside” he shoved his entire arm up his entire ass“its who we are inside”

danney devito cheered the once for allers on as they fucked together for all of eterneity and it was very communiest teh end

#bnha #all might #deku #lorax au #selfcest #i managed to work it in #at the very end #i Had TO

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