#because FF is there doing his goof ass shit

[jtl-fics]

I just want you to know you ruined Pepto Bismol for me. Everytime i see it i want to laugh and make a joke about fluent Freshman

But no one in my real life knows what that is.

And trying to explain I read a trilogy about traumatized college kids who play a fictional sport and are hunted by the mafia.

And then read a fanfic with the main character named Fluent Freshman and he was so anxious all the time he bought out the fucking CVS/convenience store of Pepto.

Just doesn't make you sound sane.

FF has long been a sting operation against Procter & Gamble. Can't believe you've all missed the incredibly tiny font that says: brought to you by Haleon the maker of Tums on every single FF update.

I am, of course, joking*************.

Sorry to have FF spill into causing real life consequences for you. Perhaps you should try Tums for your tummy needs?

[whysojiminimnida]

With Regard To Taehyung In General and Guys In Particular

Please take a moment and look at this beautiful man right here. He is gorgeous. He is stunning. He is fierce. He is silly and wickedly smart and much deeper than we often see, I think. He has immense musical knowledge and eclectic taste in rhythms and movement in the music he consumes and creates. He is sensitive, a loyal friend, a fierce protector, a very good dancer, a whole ass infant sometimes, and a complete goof. And.... I don't actually think he's gay.

I really don't. I could see bi, possibly, or pan. But I have a sneaking little suspicion that our Kim Taehyung is actually at least mostly, most of the time, straight. It's not because he's a baritone, either. I think he's not 100% gay... because I have a kid like Tae. A straight (probably, mostly, married to a girl so pretty sure he's not gay) son. I have lived with this personality type. I know it very, very well. And I get it, I'm a mom, I don't know shit right, except that I get the exact same vibe off Taehyung that I get off my own kid and let me explain. I came fully prepared for my child to come out. I waited for it. Started letting him know how in this house we support everyone from an early age. Let him know, made sure his father told him that we would love him and all his friends no matter who they wanted to kiss. Shit, his own dad is bi, his mom is bi, we were not expecting the Lord to put the straight on us as parents. BUT HE DID IT TWICE SO HELP ME I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT WORKS BUT OKAY My son is straight. As a goddamn arrow. He is literally right now married to a girl and if he played in the gay room I think I would have heard about it because the entire time he was in high school we had five boys living in our upstairs. Two of those boys are gay af and they all slept in one bed plus the floor plus one kid made a home in the closet both literally and figuratively for a few years. All of these kids were heavily into theatre and music. They were into Bangtan too early on, we practically had our own white boy BTS going on. My son was the Taehyung. Probably still is. When I tell you I would not even walk upstairs without yelling first there were reasons why. Some things you do not need to see your child doing. Or his friends. Bad enough they eat your food and cry about their boyfriends and girlfriends, the trauma that would happen to all of us from an unexpected revelation... I wasn't here for that. And to be honest I did see some things not my kid adjacent but close enough to live in my house so. So I expected my son to find him a nice man after his college roommate was a flaming homosexual with OCD and commitment problems. He did not. He continued being his pretty, musically talented, clotheshorse roughhousing I Love You Man Dancing karaoke singing instrument playing jazz listening shoe hating Burberry wearing scarf-donning hair in his eyeballs self. (I told you they're almost the same guy). He slept on his friends like they were pillows regardless of orientation of said friends. He held hands with 'em sometimes ffs. We in the United States of Republicans had no fucking idea what to do with the child but we were not about to tell him to quit, we just assumed he was confused and the guys would knock him out if he felt them up without permission. Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn't. He learned, eventually, that not everyone likes good night bro kisses on the forehead. Or to be straight up licked in the face. Didn't always stop his crackhead maknae-line ass but everyone got used to it until his atypical neurons caught up with social cues. AND THIS IS AN IMPORTANT POINT KIDS I AM NOT DIAGNOSING ANYONE BUT HELLO. The thing that did it for me, though, was when I found out he'd had a girlfriend for damn near a year that none of his friends had met more than twice and I hadn't met at all. He'd had girlfriends before, several of them (not usually all at once but, well. Boys.) And I knew of these girls, met them, but he never brought them around a lot. Spent his time with his bros doing bro things like staging Les Mis in my yard and breaking into the costume loft to steal fake swords and flags. That kind of thing. Taught himself to make sushi. Got fuvking wasted and had to be in church the next morning kind of boy shit that boys do. Until this girl. And that's when I realized that my kid had departed his group role and gone Private. All the surface stuff was fine until his heart got involved and it only got involved with three people, ever, up to the present moment. Two were his

best friends. Guys. He had a falling out with them over Bro 1's very (for my kid) problematic relationship with Bro 2. Bro 1 was my kid's self-proclaimed soulmate and he was "breaking up the band" because Bro 2 was never supposed to be gay (apparently, i was not there for that determination) and then he went and fell in love with Bro 1 and his one gay soulmate was fine BUT TWO gay soulmates was one too many gays and now neither of them were going to love him properly DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND AT ALL FAMILIAR TO THE FIVE OF YOU STILL READING THIS?? Yeah there was OMG DRAMA and it seemed to me to be very gay drama but both other Bros swore to me that hell no that was never a thing. And I raised those bitches I know when they lie. And interestingly enough once he fell in love with The Girl everything with his Best Gay Bros magically got better. Within months of meeting her. Suddenly all was right in the world. HUH AINT THAT A DAISY. Point I am ETA here is that my kid was so mad at his gay bro 2 for messing up his soulmate bond with Bro 1 that he did not speak to either of them for over a year. EITHER OF THEM. When he did he spoke to Bro 1. FOR ANOTHER FUCKING YEAR. ARE Y'ALL HEARING ME YET HE DIDN'T SPEAK TO JUNGKOOK BRO FOR TWO SOLID YEARS BECAUSE MY CHILD IS A JEALOUS HETEROSEXUAL BITCH SOMETIMES. Jimin Bro was only safe because my kid is also needy. PLUS: Then came along this girl. Who he kept under wraps for a solid year. I mean, I knew he was seeing her. But she was a mystery. No friends in common. No college classes in common, even. Met her at a random event, fell in love with her, hid her from the world. Spent hours thinking about her talking to her making plans to see her and seeing her. Privately. In private. Nobody was allowed to post their pics together unless he showed it to her and she was cool with it but mostly there were no pics of them at all AND NEITHER OF THEM IS FAMOUS IMAGINE IF HE WAS IN BANGTAN AND WENT TO AN ART MUSEUM OMG THE HELL. And when he moved in with her he mentioned it only because his lease was coming up and he wanted to let me know he was moving. Everything stopped for this girl. Who is now his wife, so she's not being kept on the DL any more, so that's good, but my point is (you've all been very patient, I apologize): Taehyung is THAT KIND OF DUDE. He has a gay soulmate and also a possibly atypical nervous system. Speaking of neurodivergence his other BFF was not really expected to be gay but WAS and IS and IS TO COME OMG YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE LEVEL OF GAY OF THIS KID and I'm not just talking about Jungkook, I have my own Jungkook extra kid and we were all a little surprised at how much gay fits into one bodybuilder that also has Asperger. It's a lot. A LOT OF GAY. And it changed who he is exactly not at all and he still manhandles my son like it ain't a thing. The chemistry's all different, is all I can tell you. It's non-gay chemistry. So MY LIFE STORY AS A PARENT is all to tell you that I don't see it with Taehyung. I look at him and I go "hey pretty boy, I know you, I see you, you private little sneaky doing girls on the down low and hanging with your bros and wearing your clothes and living your best life and not caring what anyone thinks". My kid helped start up the LGBTQIA+ Safe Spaces program in his high school. He didn't get mad when people thought he was banging his bros. He'd correct them, if it was brought to his attention. Tell them to get out of their imaginations, so to speak. But he didn't get mad about that. Not unless they got too close and messed with his girl. And when that happened it looked an awful lot like this:

And that’s all I’m saying. I’ll be totally fine with being wrong, I just don’t think I am. Not today.

[aw-eather]

Heather Watches SG1 s7ep17&18: Heroes pt1 and pt2

 Watched 23/06/2020

Well here we go friends. I’m torturing myself for the sake of making y’all laugh and also because I have a LOT of feelings about this two parter and NONE of them are good. I can’t be the only one so lets see who else agrees with me! 

This is about to get long and very swear word heavy so avert your eyes if you aren’t into that <3 Just letting you know I use some VERY strong language this post. I’m Australian so the word isn’t uncommon for us to use and we use it as a term of endearment in some parts too but I just wanted y’all to know. 

This turned into the biggest one I’ve ever done too with 362 dot points... read if you dare

Well here we go

I’m probably gonna cry a lot

I love Saul Rubinek. 

I adore him in Warehouse 13

Artie Neilson is like the dad I didn’t have

but fuck me if I don’t hate Emmet

This WHOLE two parter is pointless and just serves to kill of a character that didn’t need to die 

Anyway getting into that a little early on

Fuck the defence department. 

You haven’t spoken to Space Dad of Texas

The most unorthodox

JFC this ass hole

I’m calling him AssHole for the rest of the episodes

Of course they don’t want them here, he’s a dick 

Hammond’s little smile

This whole episode feels sombre and sad

and we’re three minutes into the two parter

this whole thing is about to fall to shit

credits

i’m not even excited for the credits

because I’m hurting

last time I watched this I’d started crying the second it started so I’m doing much better this time 

I love watching them go up the ramp  to the gate

its nice

end credits

NO ONE ASKED YOU SAUL

that was a bomb

but NO ONE ASKED YOU 

And Teryl Rothery as Dr. Janet Fraiser

FUCK OFF

He doesn’t have time

He’s busy

Lol coughed on his hand and went to shake Saul’s hand

dead

memos... as if Jack’s ever read one of those

Sam is so awkward

I love her so much

It is nothing short of extraodinary 

she is nothing short of extraordinary and we know this

but again

NOT ONE ASKED YOU ASSHOLE

and grand empress of scifi

grand empress of my heart 

goof ball

the list goes on

god she’s so awkward’

but so adorable 

Thats fine

please annoy Daniel 

What was it like to be dead ffs

TRANSCENDED? DID YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION???

What else is he supposed to say?! He DIED he doesn’t REMEMBER ANYTHING

Daniel’s right

Its fascinating 

LOL DANIEL YOU STUPID IDIOT THATS HILARIOUS

I love Daniel when he’s pissing off people i hate

Bill <3 

Personal microwave oven... nice

And its only taken you 7 years

so glad you did though

Odd that he was on fire

but we never see that happen any other times

“He does this all the time” poor Siler

Sam looks so happy when talking technobable and about her doohickeys. 

I adore her

And honestly all that shits fascinating 

still 32 minutes left... 

honestly if it weren’t for me talking about Janets death, I’d never watch these again. 

They are genuinely some of the worst episodes of SG1

I said what I said

“Sure. Its really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything”

She’s gonna kill someone

WALTER

Thats right

FUCK OFF SAUL

DOESN’T MEAN THERE WASN’T ANY GOA’ULD HERE RECENTLY

I love that they take odds

but this scene is only here to set up the character that is the reason Janet dies

because Janet shouldn’t have been off base

but we’re not going to talk about that are we? 

The episode would have played out the same if this man had died

Anyone can die in war

Doesn’t matter if they’re a parent etc

but nah

we gotta - 

sorry I’ll stop

SHE’S SO HOT 

JACK YOU IDIOT

As if he read the memo

THERE SHOULD BE A CAKE

Obviously he can’t tell you much because he was DEAD

OMG TEAL’C

HE’S NOT SAYING A WORD

BECAUSE HE FUCKING HATES THIS GUY MORE THAN I DO

SAUL SHUT UP

LITERALLY NO ONE CARES 

GO HOME

“Dr Jackson is going to die when he sees this”

“What again?”

my dude you have NO idea

This is what happens when you go poking around

you get ambushed

because it was all a fucking set up

no explination of WHO set them up tho... it was just a set up

what

a

joke

wooooooow

they took it out with a WALL

NOT THIS FUCKING ARSE HOLE

KINSEY JUST PISS OFF 

WE DON’T LIKE YOU

WE DON’T WANT YOU

GO SUCK A ROTTEN TOMATO

EVEN SAUL IS BORED OF YOU

AND HE’S THE MOST BORING MAN I’VE EVER MET

leave Jack alone

YES JACK

Its not slander if its TRUE YOU WANKER

NO YOU HAVE NOT

PAST AND PRESENT YOU ASS

JFC

Who cares what the president wants

I am 90% sure Jack just called Kinsey a limp dick and I’ve never been prouder? 

“deep and unyielding love for you, sir” SHUT UP JACK YOU GOOSE 

Well Mr Bregman can such a toe

Fancy arguing with Space Dad from Texas

OH FUCK OFF SAUL

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

NO ONE CARES

HAMMOND IS RIGHT

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE THERE

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET HURT

YOU HAVE NO RIGT TO BE THERE

Sam joking around with Teal’c is so sweet

I love them and their friendship so much

Gah!

OF COURSE THERE IS A CHANCE THINGS WILL GO WRONG YOU NARCACISTIC FUCK

ITS LIKE TO GO MORE WRONG WITH YOU THERE

I’M SORRY I’M YELLING SO MUCH I JUST HATE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE BODY.

Well is he wrong? 

Because you’re an absolute arse, thats why it doesn’t matter

Shots of your ass serve us all well O’Neill

“How do you feel about Colonel O’Neill”

She wishes to kiss him, sir. 

And potentially much more but we shall no discuss that here

He is amazing

Time outside of work... what are you insinuating

Good cover

Like family

First and foremost her superior officer

Secondly your LOVER

because I pretend Pete doesn’t exist right now

OH THIS SCENE

Actually that was pretty cute Daniel

And you’re right it is fascinating

At some action? 

So you can be a dick and use peoples death as entertainment? 

Fuck me 

His job is the inscriptions

seriously fuck this guy

I love how Sam’s face goes from he’s right its boring to aww Daniel, he didn’t :O

I love their friendship

But it nearly could have cause people like oh, I don’t know, YOUR BOYFRIEND, SAMANTHA, stalk people

shouldn’t have stayed as long as you did

if y’all hadn’t stayed

this wouldn’t have happened

Janet my love 

I’m crying

wow Jack has been hurt a fuck tonne

he didn’t give permission

Saul is an ass

I’m literally fighting tears right now

I fucking love her so much 

You never know what to expect but you do such a good job sweetie 

I’m so proud of you

The more she talks the more proud of her I am

and the more of a loss it truly is that she goes

because she’s fucking incredible and she has so much heart 

her little laugh fucking STOP

My heart is literally breaking 

AND DR FRAISER

STOP

THEY WOULDN’T HAVE JUST WALKED INTO AN AMBUSH LIKE THAT ON ANY OLD DAY

WHY NOW

WHO WROTE THIS FUCKING SHIT

FUCK OFF SAUL

THIS IS RIDICULOUS

HER GIGGLE STOP I LOVE HER 

SHE DESERVED MORE

DO NOT GO

JANET NO STAY

BABY

and we end there to go to part two

this episode felt weird

it feels like is a drama inside a drama does that make sense? 

It kinda feels like 200

like it feels fake and like its about to cut to a shot of them sitting around a table, flabergasted and with their heads in their hands

So Robert C. Cooper wrote it

I just wanna talk buddy... just wanna talk

THEY AIRED THIS FUCKER THE DAY BEFORE VALENTIES DAY?!?! WTF SYFY?!

Alright starting episode 2

SAUL FUCK OFF YOU CAN’T BE THERE

JANET BABY DON’T GOOOOOOO

I AM CRYING

I have my pillow pet who is named Janet

She was a gag gift about 7 years ago and I was watching SG1 at the time

but also she just looked like a Janet

She’s become a staple in my life and I love her 

Anyway she always gets me through these episodes

credits

still not into it right now

should have skipped them this episode tbh

end credits

Ordered chocolate cake

it arrived

i’m happy with this choice

I don’t give a fuck about them deciding what happens in the fucking video

Good answer Daniel

I could also watch Major Carter’s head talk all day

They didn’t stand a fucking chance out there

They ran into that situation totally unprepared

which they would never have done normally

this whole two parter is fucking bull shit

and then they pit Jack and Janet against each other... like who are we gonna be more upset to lose in this moment

Fuck Jack

baby noooo

I can’t take this episode ffs

Lol Walter being cute

Get out of there

You cunt

get that fucking camera off 

fuck this guy

no Sam

fuck off 

leave her alone

punch him in the face

oh Sam honey I’m so sorry

she lost her best friend

FUCK OF SAUL

JESUS 

HER BEST FRIEND JUST DIED 

SHE’S IN PAIN

YOU DO NOT GET TO DICTATE WHETHER PEOPLE GET FILMED WHEN SHE’S CLEARLY IN PAIN

I’LL TURN YOU OFF YOU FUCKING ARSE HOLE FUCK YOU

don’t sit there all upset like your day has been ruined

And now we have them making us think Jack died so that we worry about him the entire episode instead of Janet

because who cares about her right?

FUCKING WOOLSEY

I literally just screamed

i hate him

this episode can’t get any FUCKING WORSE

I also question the decision. 

No offence Space Dad of Texas

but it doens’t make sense that you chose to do what you did

I’m sorry but it doesn’t 

FUCK OOOOOOFFFF WOOOSLEY

Hammond visiting Carter <3 

Ah Barrett

So Woolsey is a corrupt piece of shit

Whoda thunk it

I’m crying again

Poor Hammond

Poor Sam

Talking at the memorial man

OH GOOD MORE WOOLSEY

BECAUSE THIS EPISODE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH...

Fuck him

And the truth is that you’re a dick, moving on

Daniel has a point... and I hate saying that but he has a point

I love Sam

Daniel doesn’t give a fuck

Go Daniel I’m proud of you

OH NOT SAUL AND THE F U C K I N G CAMERA

NO PISS OFF

This is cruel

to make us see her death

to show us her literal dead body was too fucking much

I’m sorry but this would have been just as powerful if Simons had died

Hes a good kid

but this would have had the same impact

I’m sick of this man

I’m sick of this shit

OH MY GOD GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Which is why you bastards should not have been in the fucking field

It was of a man dying

end of

Yeah but what they do every single day doesn’t mean show us JANETS DEATH

Sharing it with the world won’t make him feel any better about one of his best friends getting show you mole

Good, Woolsey again

suck my dick

So this guy put money values on peoples heads

and he got command of Atlantis? 

Yeah fuck him I’m not watching s5 of Atlantis

to be fair $27 million is a lot of money

but its still peopls lives

fuck off you smarmy git

I would love to see him tossed out on his arse

He can do that

fuck off you don’t get to say in whether or not you’re there or have a right to be there

you’re invading on peoples privacy

you’re an ass

The Tape

Fuck the N.I.D

I actually feel really bad for Daniel

fuck you Bregman

so excited to see people’s deaths

I had to pause for a moment

because I just saw Janet die

and its cruel

We didn’t have to see her death

knowing it happened was bad enough 

physically seeing her dead is like salt in the wound

Janet deserved so much more than this

hope you’re happy bregman

sam visiting Jack

hurts because i love the cute moment

but it hurts

because we shuoldn’t have had to lose janet for this

Cassie... my heart is broken

the way he looks at her when she starts crying and the hug  like he has been there with her so many times 

its all so sweet 

and they’re so in love but they can’t have each other

its rude 

Poor Simon... 

Poor Sam

watching her cry is so hard

and Teal’c 

guys i’m not sure i can finsih this

ok sorry I’m back

Gotta pick up Cassie

Cassie 100% lived with Sam right? 

Oh Teal’c... i love you so, so much you sweet angel

and the little hug.. their friendship is beautiful

I’m so sick of Bregman at this point

and them being in the room where Daniel died, where Jack chose to get his symbiote, where they saved Cassie and Sam and countless others, where they helped Teal’c

Janet was so strong, so wise

oh Daniel... I’m sorry 

It does but others don’t need to see it Daniel

Oh fuck I’ll be back after the memorial

its such a beautiful memorial

and Im glad they chose Sam to talk 

I’m gonna say some more in my final notes

its hard right now with the tears

I still think you’re an absolute arse, Saul

This was kinda sweet actually

oh they named the baby Janet

i’m never gonna stop crying 

Oh Jack

he’s so unimpressed

what a stupid way to end it

sorry but that was shit

Final thoughts

i genuinely hate these episodes. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever watch them again. Even with another watch through.. they’re not as well written or directed as other episodes, they’re unbelievable in the cannon of the show and breaks their own rules, not to mention the sheer heartbreak

Bregman is one of the most unlikeable characters in the show. If Simmons had of been alive he could have been in the episode too just to add to the trifecta of cunts!

Cassie should have been at the memorial

they make you think Jack is dead so we won’t worry about janet to what? make it more of a shock? because it doesn’t work. It should never have been designed to make us feel relief at Janet’s death because it wasn’t Jack! It doesn’t do her justice. 

Janet Fraiser was a smart woman with a massive heart. She was brave and strong and she cared for everyone even when they were arseholes. She had a bit of fun with SG1 sometimes too. She was an incredible Dr, mother and friend.  Janet was tiny but tough. Something that i aim for. I’m 5ft2 so basically the same as Janet and believe it or not i’ve had people question my ability to be a good teacher because noone will take me seriously. Janet always made me feel like people would take me seriously and that even though I’m small, I can do big things. She encouraged me to be a good person with a heart of gold. Her death hits really hard for that reason. but also because she was an incredible character who deserved more than what she was given. Hardly any screen time and then murdered to make some sort of point that didn’t need making??? Not to mention she’s mentioned twice in the next three seasons and when she “comes back” in Ripple Effect she spends almost no time with Sam which makes exactly 0 sense. 

Someone recently said they heard she was killed because the writers didn’t know how much more time they had and wanted to wrap some stuff up? Lets not forget that they made the end of this season a huge cliff hanger... but I’m still not sure what we could wrap up with her death? She had a fucking child!

Any way I won’t be watching this again. I’m sorry this isn’t much fun but hopefully you’ve got a giggle out of me swearing at the idiots 

I love you all for reading this and supporting me posts, they’re usually pretty fun to make honestly!

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[mustlovelance]

hey, idk if you've seen the new season yet but if you have, do you have any thoughts on it? it mostly just made me feel sad and it'd probably been better if you'd written it but. idk maybe there's good stuff i missed?

i wrote my last piece about the adam fiasco here. as for my other thoughts…

i’m super flattered that you think i’d have written it better, omg.

overall, it was difficult to enjoy to its full potential because the black cloud of adam’s death hung over me the whole time, but i tried my best because i wanted to see allurance happen.

negative:

keith: i was really frustrated with keith during many points. i understand we were supposed to see the worst sides of everyone in the “stranded in space” situation, but his was particularly difficult to sit through. he was away from the team while working with the blades and during the two years with his mom, so that distance between him and the team is very real. even though i believe they’re all friends and such, it’s just, eh. i wish the series had put more focus into him bonding with the other paladins than having his own hero’s journey, given that his issue was being a “loner.” in general, keith felt really strange to me for the entire season. a better leader but not very likable? and that frustrates me, since i related to him so much up until this point (it’s The Autism). i mean ffs, he tried to beat the shit out of james for mentioning his dead parents, but he horribly insulted allura’s father and then never formally apologized??? lance was being super nice, respectful, responsible, and complimentary towards him, and he resorted to a season 1-tier insult back????? i just. i’m not feeling good about him at all, and that hurts. 

allurance buildup: i overanalyze everything, so i saw some moments before the blush scene, but i can see why others would be caught off-guard by it. it’s not that allurance didn’t have enough build-up; it’s that i think they deserved a few more moments in the first half of the season to show allura reaching that point. minor criticism, because i’m still rly happy with it, and it’s not a big deal to me, but, y’know.

that battle with sendak: why did shiro need to be rescued again? why didn’t they let him finish the fight? i just didn’t see the point of it. 

the atlas robot: how the fuck did that happen when sam’s schematics didn’t include that???? no, really, what the fuck??????? how is shiro that magical??????? 

the fight scenes: they just weren’t my thing. i enjoy them in moderate doses, but these dragged on forever. 

deux ex machina ahoy: constantly introducing massive crises, only to pull something out of their asses just in time, became very tiring to watch. i wasn’t excited the third time, y’know? 

no, seriously, the ending just kept going. 

positive:

lance: he was amazing. absolutely amazing. the goodest boy. i could not be more proud of him. he is so deeply concerned about the welfare of those he loves, and i love seeing him act on that. he is a delight in every way. he really will do anything to keep his loved ones happy and safe. 

hunk’s arc: it was amazing. i couldn’t be more proud of him either. i’m so glad that he got this focus and development. like, it was just…so satisfying. i loved seeing him get emotional over his parents and being the responsible one in the “stranded in space” episode and just. yeah. 

ROMELLE: SHE IS SO FUCKING CUTE!!!! she’s an adorable badass and i love her dearly. her entire family was murdered and she had been all alone for so long, so i like seeing her be able to act like the young teen and goof around with everyone. 

KOSMO!!!!!! “he’s lonely.” “i was going to wait until he told me his name.” keith u dingus. 

the “roadtrip”: overall, it was fun! 

the “stranded in space episode: haunting but fascinating. i loved a lot of the visuals. 

coran knocking that guy out with his crotch was hilarious.

keith trusts lance as his right-hand man.

that fight between keith + kosmo vs. the druid was fun to watch. 

leifsdotter: she is so obviously autistic and that’s just delightful. the fact that james respected her capabilities so much without insulting her when she couldn’t work her ~magic really raised my opinion of him (which goes to show how ableist society is if i get so excited about basic decency lol). i really want to see more of her! 

iverson: i’m glad that he was a better person than i assumed. he really pulled through for us, and he apologized. (which is more than we can say for others...) 

LANCE’S FAMILY REUNION!!! HE MISSED THEM SO MUCH!!!! THE HUG!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 

keith comforting hunk: that was like, the one time that i really liked keith in this season, but man, i really liked him during it.  

veronica: she was more than i could even hope for. a very lovable, capable, caring badass who shipped allurance. what’s not to love? 

the red lion coming to rescue lance after he tried so hard to save his sister? that’s what i’ve been wanting since season 3, and my god, it was beautiful. it gives me shivers just thinking about it. this is what lance deserves. 

HUNAY!!!!

ALLURANCE IS CANON!!!!! i loved all of their moments! i wish we had more, but what we got was so lovely! i can’t wait to over-analyze every scene. this is really worth several bullet points, but i want to save the deep analysis for individual posts. 

i’m actually rly excited about this eva-like situation with the alteans. i still resent it for dragging on the battle even more, but it has a lot of potential as a concept. i’m pretty sure that this is haggar’s doing, and that this will be the big, final threat in s8. 

mixed:

the game show episode: the never-ending joke about lance being an idiot became frustrating. i know that some people with ADHD/who are ESL relate to his experiences here, but the episode still refers to him as an idiot repeatedly and just…relentlessly insults him. it was too much. like, i usually don’t mind, but this went on for too long. that being said, it’s a kid’s show, and these 1D versions of the characters used for humor is what tends to make kids laugh, so... idk, i feel like i’m not the person who gets to seriously criticize this, since people who relate to those experiences seem fine with it?  

lance and keith’s dynamic: it feels like a step backwards from s3, and that’s frustrating. it’s great that they’re friends who trust each other and work well together, but i miss that softer emotional component. i miss the part that had keith get distracted mid-battle to smile at lance for helping him out. his remark about not wanting to spend eternity with lance felt like something more suited for s1/s2 keith, not s7 keith, despite the time that they’ve been apart. not to say that they shouldn’t tease each other or that keith was serious or that lance was deeply hurt by it, but i didn’t feel the warmth to counteract it. like...it felt more like keith realized, “hey, lance is talented and reliable, so i can trust him” than, “wow lance is a great friend and a great right-hand man”, and i had been hoping for the latter. honestly, i’m struggling to articulate this to anyone, but it’s just…unsettling even though i have no technical complaints. so, mixed. 

keith and acxa: i’m not sure where that’s going. i’ll decide how i feel once it plays out, i guess! 

james: i was super pissed at how the anti-lance crowd latched onto him as the “superior” rival, but in terms of what i saw in canon, he was…fine? he did the right thing when it came down to it, and i respect that. 

admiral sanda: she reminds me so much of my mom that i can’t help but sympathize with her even though she sent adam and countless others to their deaths. that’s just a personal thing tho lol but if anyone is curious as to why i won’t really be talking about her, that’s why. 

my review of this season is more mixed than usual, but my main complaints relate to either keith or that damn never-ending battle (and, y’know, The Adam Fiasco), and my list of positives is pretty long in comparison. i hope this helps you find a few more things to be positive about at least! 

[lorettalivingston6911]

#MeAt14: Alyssa Milano & More Share Photos Of Themselves At The Age Of Roy Moore's Youngest Accuser!

how I looked younger without plastic surgery

The allegations against Senate candidate Roy Moore are disgusting; but frankly the sheer number of Republicans defending him is downright terrifying.

We're talking about someone who has been accused by a woman of molesting her when she was just 14 years old, but some seem to think that's no big deal.

Related: New Accuser Says Moore Sexually Assaulted Her When She Was 16

To put it in perspective for these lunatics, women throughout the weekend posted throwback photos on Twitter tagged with the #MeAt14 hashtag to let them know exactly how young this girl was.

See 14-year-old Alyssa Milano, Sarah Silverman, Katie Couric, and more (below):

#MeAt14 I worshipped my brother. I loved my dog, Pucci. I loved OMD. I had Big hair. I was happy. I was innocent.

Please share your #MeAt14. http://pic.twitter.com/ccPyVHgcVS — Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) November 12, 2017

I was eating a lot of chocolate chip cookie dough and learning to do the "hustle" and not worrying about a 32 year old man trying to hustle me. #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/xp7UPiiZdq — Katie Couric (@katiecouric) November 12, 2017

#MeAt14 w my boyfriend — JK I’m with my math teacher, Mr James @lizzwinstead http://pic.twitter.com/e2BaXySl7Y — Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) November 12, 2017

Can’t consent at 14. Not in Alabama. Not anywhere. #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/4V51WZJljC — Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) November 11, 2017

After hearing all the Moore defenders, I had to recalibrate myself and find a pic of me at 14. Here it is. For the record, I had ZERO idea what I was doing in any romantic or dating capacity (and fortunately was not allowed to date). http://pic.twitter.com/PGGC3QykRp — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) November 11, 2017

Not dating anyone, much less a 32yo #MeAt14 #NoMoore http://pic.twitter.com/JwOtFU0ZkK — USA 🇺🇸 (@SarahThyre) November 11, 2017

This is me at 14. I was on the gymnastics team and sang in the choir. I was not dating a 32 year old man. Who were you at 14? Tweet a pic, tell us who you were and pic to the top of your page #MeAt14 #NoMoore http://pic.twitter.com/HPVzMgaD8h — Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 12, 2017

This is #MeAt14 Wish I could say I had never been kissed.But when I was 11 @ friends slumber party, n outdoor hide&seek game,a relative of my friend(a man)dragged me into bushes,stuck his tongue down my throat & grabbed my breasts.It was horrific but I never told anyone-until now http://pic.twitter.com/3XsvNk2qPD — Saving Democracy (@djohnsonpcb) November 12, 2017

#MeAt14 showing off the sand turtle I made at the beach. A man in his 30s should know better, because this is a child. I tied off my braids with scrunchies, ffs. http://pic.twitter.com/kkiFyRpSyJ — Holly (@hollyislate) November 11, 2017

#MeAt14 shouldn't have been allowed to pick out my own clothes, definitely not old enough to consent to being groped by a 30-something year old man. http://pic.twitter.com/9WFaXhFGEm — Amy (@MsFoxIfUrNasty) November 11, 2017

#MeAt14 goofing around with my friends in a photo booth at the mall. I had never even kissed a boy at this point in my life

Do you really think this girl should "date" a 32 year old man? #NeverMoore http://pic.twitter.com/1SCXllD35U — Katy (@WizzKhaleesi) November 11, 2017

This is me at 14. I wasn’t dating a 32 year old man. I was in marching band and spent a lot of time with family (as seen here). #MeAt14 #NoMoore http://pic.twitter.com/Q047BDjwb4 — Aubrey 🐍 (@AubreyWatts) November 12, 2017

#MeAt14 Here's a diary entry about the time I started crying at a dance because I was scared of dancing with boys.

Not old enough to consent to a romantic relationship with an adult man! http://pic.twitter.com/1m2SF7wzo6 — SharAAAUUGH! (@sharahmeservy) November 11, 2017

still thought pigtails were a good look. not old enough to give consent. #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/6UNESeJ91u — Jess (@jesssmcginty) November 11, 2017

#MeAt14 I was propositioned by adult men nonstop I was sexualized by modeling execs from age 5-24 I was raped by a stranger at 14, a virgin...my canines weren't fully in yet I was a 4.2 GPA honor student w/a penchant for Oscar Wilde & Sylvia Plath I don't know what *childhood* is http://pic.twitter.com/nLBSCIK7X6 — Bandit Aléatoire (@BanditRandom) November 12, 2017

This is me at 14, a shy and innocent bookworm. No way is a 14-yr-old developmentally prepared to date a 32-yr-old man. #MeAt14 #NoMoore http://pic.twitter.com/e5pYBcMyx3 — Fern Naomi Renville (@Fern_Renville) November 12, 2017

14 y/o me & my 33 y/o soon to be stepfather.He scolded me when I got mouthy;wouldn't let me eat sugary cereal;2yrs after this pic, opened a can of whoop-ass on the boy who brought me home past curfew from my very first date.He was an adult;I was not #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/ZH0CEbJg6R — Allison Dougherty (@al_dougherty) November 13, 2017

Standing outside Ruby Tuesday before walking to the mall to hang out in the food court. That's a wild night for a group of adolescents. Talking to a seventeen year old would have been scandalous at this age. Talking to a 32 year old wasn't even an option. #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/hEiqJPzceu — Ashley Goebel (@AshleyGoebel6) November 11, 2017

This girl was a dreamer w/ambitions of becoming a marine biologist & someday meeting David Bowie.

This girl became a broken mess after a 46yr old molested her for 2 years. There are reasons for laws re age of consent. Thankfully my State's Attorney thought so as well. #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/cmNgpeLDmL — Christiana Lo (@IsThisWhoYouAre) November 12, 2017

Oh, by the way, the hashtag was started by a Republican from North Carolina:

Can’t consent at 14. Not in Alabama. Not anywhere. #MeAt14 http://pic.twitter.com/AFUw1Ru4X2 — Catherine R L Lawson (@catlawson) November 10, 2017

Protecting young girls isn't a political issue, it's a moral one!

[Image via Twitter.]

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