#because I honestly don't think I'll find a better phrase today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ingravinoveritas · 1 year

Note

Hi Amy, I'm the cursed anon who asked Neil lol (and I guess I'll stay anon for all my life after what happened today). I just wanted to thank you for what you wrote. I was sure my ask would have reached your blog somehow, alas. I don't know what to say, I'm mortified, it's been a rather hard day for me, since I felt completely misunderstood and belittled by someone I looked up to. I'm sorry because I must have phrased my ask in a weird way, an even "creepy" one, it seems.. By the way, I'm so glad you didn't find anything creepy in that, because I don't know for the life of me what I said that was perceived that way. I spent the entire day thinking about it and, at the same time, I tried to distract myself from shame. I don't know how to describe it, but this answer made me question so many things, about my mental health too, and I definitely didn't need that. He could have just said that he didn't quite understand what I meant, instead he only made me feel stupid and fed me to the lions. I mean, of course I know that season 2 is wrapped for example, I just wanted to tell him that maybe this sort of casting might be a future problem for season 3, and that I hope it won't be an issue for season 2, even though I saw many people turning up their nose already. (As I also bloody know that David Tennant and Michael Sheen are actors playing a part, evidently this is not what my concerns were!) I really don't know how to better explain it, English is a hard language to convey things sometimes. Neil doesn't speak any other language than it, and it shows honestly, because he doesn't know how hard it is for someone who is not native; me asking that might have been an impulsive decision, but I really tried to do my best with the language, it was hard, and it's like he pretended he didn't understand nevertheless. I don't know, I'm so disappointed by such a response. I thought it was more likely that he just read and didn't answer, but that condescending response? I didn't expect that. I'm sorry that I made him so sour/sharp/harsh (I don't know which adjective is the more appropriate in this case, and it drives me crazy that it can take so little to be misinterpreted, that's what I was referring to) because evidently I must have offended him or hit a nerve, which was not my intention. I might have been stupid to ask that, but if the ask was so annoying to him, it's not like he was obliged to answer it and being so cruel at the point to completely distort its meaning. Do I regret it? I do, but maybe without all of this, I wouldn't have ever seen this side of him, and I'm for the truth, even if it always tastes bittersweet, so.. Good to know, I guess.

Sorry for ranting! Oh my god, I didn't realise, it's just that it's still an open wound to me. Coming back to you, I wanted to tell you that even if you might not agree with me (you have all the right not to), your response is actually the kind I expected from a man of power who is twice my age (just saying). Thank you for always being so considerate and tactful, you really did made me feel a little better. I wish there were more people like you in the world, I mean it.

(Sorry for the disappeared ask, I deleted the account after sending it, thinking that it would have stayed in your inbox once it was there.. Well, I was wrong haha. I'm going to delete it after you answer then, I had reactivated it just because you turned the anons off and I wanted to thank you instantly <3)

Hi, Anon. Oh, I am so sorry for what you went through yesterday. I'm also floored to have you reach out to me, as I didn't even realize you were aware of my blog, but I thank you for doing so and sharing your thoughts/feelings with me.

It saddens me so greatly to know how much Neil's response has hurt you, and how it has affected your mental health. If the comments on my post about what happened are indication, however, you are definitely not the only one who felt that his response was not okay. What you said about feeding you to the lions was something one of my followers also mentioned, and whether Neil intended it or not, I would have to agree with that assessment.

The fact is, Neil is a writer. He knows how powerful words can be, and how suggestive. So by calling your question "creepy" in that first sentence, he is creating the lens through which the reader is going to view your question. And so what I would say is that two things can be true here, which is that 1) You have every right to feel the concerns you do, but trying to engage Neil about it was probably not the best idea; and 2) Neil has the right to feel/say what he wants, but deciding to answer your question the way he did instead of simply ignoring it was also probably not the best idea.

I don't know if you've been on his blog at all today, but Neil actually went into a bit more detail about his rationale, re: the use of the word "creepy" in the comments on this post, as part of a back-and-forth exchange with another fan who again brought up the issue of nepotism. I thought I would highlight these two comments in particular:

What I was struck by in the comment on the left was two specific things: 1) Neil's mention of the "undertones" to your question. Going by what you wrote, Anon, as well as the message that you've written here, I do not think there were any undertones to your Ask--with the possible exception of calling Neil's character into question (which, if he was hoping to squash that, it is now beyond ironic that his response to you has achieved the exact opposite); and 2) That someone who has been described as "so Tumblr" and "Neil gets it" would somehow be oblivious to how venomous people can be on social media, especially when encouraged by the creators of their favorite works, and why someone would therefore not want to make themselves a potential target. In just the first sentence of his response to you, however, Neil proved exactly why you were right to use a burner account.

In terms of the comment on the right, we see Neil draw a false equivalence between your question and people criticizing him for casting POC actors in Sandman. This was (in my opinion) Neil doing this fan what he did to you, which is twist around what they were saying as a means of deflection and avoiding answering the question that was actually being asked, which was about nepotism. The other irony for me is him talking about people accusing him of having a secret agenda, while he was the one doing the same thing to you. The only difference is that his assumption ended up having serious consequences, as we are now seeing.

I think you did hit a nerve, Anon, but--as strange as it may sound--I don't think it had anything to do with you. My feeling is that there is something going on with Neil and he is using Tumblr as an outlet--much in the same way that Michael used Twitter as an outlet in 2019/2020. So I do not think you are "cursed" or "made" Neil be salty/harsh--I think he was already this way and took whatever is happening with him out on you. Because if everything was absolutely fine--if what you were mentioning in your question was totally ridiculous and Neil was entirely unbothered by it--I do not think he would have answered it, nor would he still have been engaging this fan about it for hours afterward.

I know this probably won't be of much comfort, and I am sorry. English is not my second language, but I am autistic, and I relate very deeply to what you described about searching so hard for the right words (which is probably why it takes me forever to answer my Anons) because of not wanting to be misunderstood. And I know very well what it's like to have someone you so greatly admired turn out to be not at all what you expected, especially when everyone else's perception of that person is so wildly different.

It is for that reason that I can understand fans on here and Twitter rushing to defend Neil, not wanting to feel that someone they love could possibly do anything wrong. "Neil is a human being" is a comment I've seen frequently...but if we are going to say that Neil is human, then that means he is imperfect. It means he makes mistakes. And it should not be controversial to say this. I've also seen people in the aftermath of this saying how kind Neil is to the fans...but his response to you was unkind. Setting someone up to be a target is not kind. Neil has so many people who write into him who are dealing with mental health issues and concerns, and at best his response to you was thoughtless...but at worst, it sends a message to other fans that they, too, could become targets for absolutely no reason. And while I do not believe that Neil owes the fans anything, having an awareness of the power he wields and a sense of basic human decency does not seem like much to ask.

You do not ever have to apologize for ranting to me, Anon. I'm so glad that what I wrote in my other post helped you to feel better, even if just a little. I am by no means perfect--far from it--but I've been in enough fandoms and had enough heartaches to know that I would want to do anything I could to spare someone else from going through the things I went through. The shame here is not yours for asking a question that yielded a disproportionate overreaction from Neil--the shame belongs to the people who piled onto you because of it.

I want you to know that I was truly touched by your compliments, and that you felt comfortable enough to be so vulnerable with me here. I'm sending you lots of love, as well as the hope that we can continue to have honest discussions about these subjects. A lot of people are with you, and believe me when I again tell you that you are not alone. xx

#anonymous #reply post #good omens #good omens 2 #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant #also FWIW I do agree with you Anon #regarding the nepotism #especially when it comes to Georgia and AL #but that's a whole other post for a whole other day #the GO fandom has meant so much to me since 2019 #so all of this has been so disquieting on so many levels #my heart hurts #fandom woes #discourse

55 notes · View notes

tuulikannel · 2 years

Text

Chihiro, Mondo & toxic masculinity

(what a pretentious title that is XD)

(spoiler warning for DR1)

I saw a relatively recent post on reddit about how there’s a lot of hate toward Danganronpa on twitter, and the right place to comment on all this is of course tumblr, right? Or, well, at least on one aspect of this, something I had been thinking about earlier, too. Namely, the accusations of transphobia. This is of course about Chihiro’s murder. Now, I just got to say this, of course he isn’t trans. I’m sorry if that goes against your headcanon, but it becomes very clear in the game that Chihiro identifies as a boy. (Honestly, I find it a little annoying how some people’s mindset seems to be that a boy in a dress = trans, as if a man could never wear a dress otherwise.) But anyway, that’s actually not important here.

First things first, I perfectly well understand that Chihiro’s case can make a trans person very uncomfortable. On the surface it certainly feels like a case of very violent transphobia: we have a girl who confesses to a guy that they’re actually a boy, and immediately after this the man kills them. Whether or not Chihiro is trans is pretty much irrelevant here (it’s not like Mondo knew the details that closely, either.)

Still, what I think the game is trying to do here has nothing to do with transphobia, but it’s instead attempting to comment on toxic masculinity. Chihiro and Mondo are both victims of it, though they represent the opposite ends, you could say. Chihiro was a weak boy, bullied over it so much that he sought refuge in “an even greater weakness” (I’ll always remember that rather unfortunate turn of phrase), that is, femininity. It’s acceptable for a girl to be weak… it might even be desirable in some people’s eyes.

At the same time, Mondo represents a very masculine man, brimming with testosterone. He has very strong sense of what being a man is about, and strength is a central part of that. And when he realizes that this weak little girl whose admiration has made him feel even more like the strong man he wants to see himself as, is in a sense stronger than him… well. Like often before, he reacts with violence to something that upsets him. He didn’t kill Chihiro because Chihiro was a boy in a dress; he killed Chihiro because it became clear to him that Chihiro was preparing himself for his big secret being revealed, while Mondo himself must have been terrified of everyone finding out his secret. Chihiro had until now been someone who made him feel better about himself and suddenly the rug was pulled from under his feet.

I’m sorry if this feels totally obvious to you. I mean, it feels obvious to me, and I’m just kind of baffled people are genuinely accusing the game of being transphobic here. Like I said, I think the game was trying to do something completely different. How good job they did about it is of course another question.

ETA: This just came to my mind, so I'll throw this here as an afterthought... In the AU side games, Ultimate Talent Development Plan & Ultimate Summer Camp, Mondo is aware of Chihiro's secret and is training him to be stronger. They're best friends. Based on that, it's quite hard to see Mondo as a transphobic character.

ETA2: I was thinking about Chihiro and his gender identity a lot today. I don't in general mind what kind of headcanons people have, but seeing Chihiro as trans... is pretty problematic.

Think about it. If Chihiro identifies as a girl... well, then she does. End of story, there's no problem here. But if Chihiro identifies as a boy, things are quite different. He is someone who felt like he couldn't meet the expectations of the society. He was, in a sense, forced to act and dress as a girl even though he is not a girl and does not want to be seen as such. And this... is a huge problem.

And I think that is the very point of Chihiro's character. Like I said before, this is all about toxic masculinity and the overly strong gender roles of Japanese society. And if we make Chihiro a transgirl, we utterly erase this issue from the narrative.

#danganronpa #chihiro fujisaki #mondo owada #toxic masculinity

33 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 9 months

Text

1714

Have you ever seen an emu in real life, whether in captivity or the wild? I have never.

When was the last time you visited your state’s biggest city? I live in it.

Do you remember what colour the eyes were of the last person you spoke to? Dark brown, as all Filipinos have.

Have you eaten pasta in the past week? Sure. It was fast food spaghetti but still.

Did you pierce your ears yourself or have it done by a professional? I'm pretty sure my parents had it done by a professional. I had been a few weeks or months old after all.

Are you wearing any shoes right now? No.

How many letters are in your surname? Six.

Do you enjoy Burger King? Their burgers are good but Burger King is honestly something I just never seem to look for? Idk, lol. Like I'll never say no to it, but I also don't ever go, "I think I'll get Burger King today." In general I guess I'm also not into fast food burgers much, unless it's Jollibee.

Have you ever worn bell bottom jeans? I don't think I've ever, actually.

How far away from your house is the nearest ice cream place? The nearest one I know of is around a 30 minute drive away.

What colour is your kitchen counter? It's a shade of peach.

When was the last time you washed the dishes? Not a plate but I washed my glass around half an hour ago before I settled in my room.

Do you own a lot of cookbooks? We don't have, like, a bookshelf's worth of cookbooks if that's what you mean by 'a lot,' but I'd say we have more than average. My dad's a chef, so he liked to collect them early on in his career.

How many rooms are in your house? Four.

Have you ever seen American Pie? I haven't. I heard of it a lot as a kid but was also always warned not to watch it, so I kind of brought that with me until now. I still have no clue what that show(?) is about haha.

What do you think of Leonardo DiCaprio? He's really good-looking and an even better actor but I do find his dating choices quite weird given his age.

Do you stay in touch with many people from high school or college? It's a good number. Most of my current circles are from my years in school.

Are you feeling nervous about anything right now? Just a little bit, but I'm trying not to think of it now so I can focus on my weekend and free time.

How many cars can your driveway and garage hold? Technically just one, but we have some extra space around the backyard area and our front yard so we're able to have our two other cars fit in those slots. Mainly so that we don't block the road because it's so annoying that most of the nighbors do that.

When was the last time you were late for something? Around a month ago for one of our events. My teammates arrived earlier to cover for me first so I wasn't too worried, and I was mostly stressed because of the traffic and because the driver kept on heading towards turns that led to more traffic.

Do you own an iPod, and if so, what type? I have not used an iPod since high school.

Did you ever play Stardoll when you were younger? I don't think I've ever heard of that.

Is there a university in your town or city? Yes. There's a small local one literally right beside our village gate.

What’s your father’s handwriting like? The hilarious thing is I don't even know what his handwriting looks like because he writes so rarely. He just...signs. I should hand him a blank piece of paper one of these days and just ask him to write random phrases so I can finally know hah.

Have you ever lived on a farm? Haven't.

Are you hung up on anybody right now? No.

Do you eat fries one by one or in big bunches? Just one each, every time. I always eat stuff like fries by piece.

Did you wash your hair last time you showered? Yeah I never skip anything when I take a bath.

Has anyone ever ransacked your bedroom? Apparently my mom did because that's how she came to read my diary when I wasn't around. I've always been a bit peeved about her entering my room since then.

Do you have any weird sleeping habits that people have told you about? No. I also don't like sleeping with people around, so that's also probably why no one has ever told me anything.

Do you enjoy That 70s Show? I tried getting into it but couldn't understand the humor right from the first episode - either that or I just simply found it unfunny, idk - so I didn't really care to watch the rest.

Are there any clouds in the sky, and what colour are they? Well right now it's 2:01 AM so everything looks black/super sper super dark blue.

Do you think you’re fast at typing? I know I'm fast, haha.

What was the last type of pizza you ate? Pepperoni, but I removed all the pepperoni from the slices I took as I don't like it.

How old are you? 25. WOW I can't believe I'm 25

Do you know anyone with an unusual middle name? Yes.

Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? Only in select aspects.

Have you ever waxed your eyebrows? Nope.

What does your shampoo smell like? Just...idk like a refreshing one?? It doesn't have a distinct scent.

Have you ever passed gas in front of your significant other? I don't like farting hahaha I always suppress mine. Only my sister has heard me do it and that's because those got out accidentally.

Do you have any big regrets in your life? I wouldn't say big, but there have been a few medium-sized regrets here and there.

What colour is the ground or floor where you are right now? Brown.

Do you live on a street, avenue, road etc.? Street.

Can you taste anything right now? Just the remnants of my coffee.

What was the last board game you played? I don't play board games but I played Anomia with my family the other night.

Are you renting the house you’re currently living in? No.

Do you listen to Guns n Roses? Other than the like two songs I know of theirs, no.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend? I was uhhhhhhh 16, I think.

Have you ever been a bridesmaid? A junior bridesmaid, if that counts; my aunt had that kind of gimmick during her wedding. I was 8 and didn't actually do anything in the role.

Has the sun already set for the day? Forever ago. It's about to rise in a couple of hours or so.

Do you know how to tie a tie? No. I had to wear a necktie from kinder to high school but since I didn't know how to tie ties I just kept the knot and wore it like I would a necklace for the 14 years I studied there hahah.

What are the age gaps between you and your siblings? 2 and 5.

Does your birthday come before June 19th in a calendar year? No, before.

Do you pay attention to the FIFA World Cup? If so, what team do you go for? I'm paying attention to the Women's World Cup right now because 1) one of my clients is the Philippine team's official outfitter so we have had a million and one events related to the World Cup; and 2) THE PHILIPPINES IS (well, was now since we're out...but still) IN THE WORLD CUP FOR THE FIRST TIME. Made the entire country turn into rabid football fans overnight lol it's so surreal to see it all unfold. I love our girls :')

Even if PH got booted though I catch up whenever I can! Some narratives have been super heartwarming, like Jamaica's who apparently had to do crowdfunding to even get to the tournament in the first place.

Are you on any medications right now? I am not.

1 note · View note

servin-up-surveys · 1 year

Text

survey #138

What was the last heavy thing you lifted? By MY unhealthy standards, a small toolbox. I rode with Mom to Nicole's house to fix her sink, and it's what Mom brought along and she needed help carrying things inside (we brought our dog with us, so she had to take her carrier).

Is July an important month for you? My sister Katie was born on the 4th actually, but generally, no. I honestly hate July, it's too fucking hot.

If someone looked inside your mind right now, what would they find? honestly right now they probably wouldn't know what the fuck they're looking at lmfao

Are you good at reading body language? I'm honestly probably hyper-observant of it, to where I see meanings that aren't actually there.

Do you have an anchor tattoo? Would you ever get one? No to both.

What is something that is creepy to you? Facebook/socials stalking people you like came to my mind, idk that's just going too far to me. Like sure if you meet someone you're interested in and want a bit more info, hell, it's probably even safe to check things out once, but digging for miles and checking obsessively just isn't healthy imo.

What do you need right now? I thought about it, but I don't wanna go here right now.

What do you consider to be cruel? Besides the extremely obvious things that basically everyone can agree on, trophy hunting. Like I immediately hate your fucking guts if you go out and murder a living creature going about its peaceful life JUST for the fun of it and to mount their dead heads on your walls and shit. Hunting for food doesn't bother me (like, that deer you killed almost ABSOLUTELY had a better life than the countless livestock forced into nightmarish existences that we accept as "normal"), but even then, I think it should be done solemnly and without gloating, and immense gratefulness for that animal's completely unwilling sacrifice.

Do you love to daydream? Yes, probably to a fault.

What’s your favorite shade of yellow? I'm really not a big fan of yellow, it's one of my least favorite colors, but I guess I'll go with amber, that I do like.

Has anyone told you to calm down recently? lol no, I think the people who know me know that it's not that fucking simple, and I would get legitimately pissed off if someone said this to me as someone with chronic, severe anxiety problems.

When did you last panic? I don't want to talk about this.

Are you currently tired? Yes. I got just about no fucking sleep last night and it really pisses me off because I was going to help Mom with the kids today, especially because Ryder gets really disappointed when I'm not there and I already wasn't last week, but there was no way in hell I was getting up early enough this morning. I just texted my mom at like, 2 AM or some shit telling her to let me sleep.

What helps you get by? My mom, Girt, Mazzy, Tez, Girt's family and to some extent mine, medication, therapy, creative expression, being stubborn.

When did you last wear a mask? It's been a few weeks, most places I go to now have stopped mandating it.

Does it hurt you when others are rude for no reason? Yes, because I'm sensitive as shit.

If you could say anything to your father right now, what would it be? WOW what timing, I just messaged him happy birthday lol but I'd love to tell him that in person.

What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Probably around like, 75mph accidentally on the highway.

When did it last rain? Today; it's been going on and off. It was absolutely pouring earlier.

Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Like 6 or so times, but never for physical issues, just mental. I woulda preferred the physical shit.

Has anyone blamed you for something you didn’t do? I don't know if she meant for it to come across as straight-up blame, but it absolutely did: in the message Sara sent me after I cut our friendship off, she decided it was a great idea to phrase herself VERY MUCH SO in a way that makes it sound like she blamed me for almost attempting suicide. Don't get me FUCKING started on this topic, I take exactly 0% fault for shit that she decides to do when it's not like I fucking bullied her or something, but I still think about it sometimes anyway.

How much is gasoline where you are? I haven't been paying attention, but a google search tells me the cheapest right now in my county is $3.27.

How are you doing today? Not great, but way more numb today than I've been the past few.

What is the last song you listened to in a car? It was "Zeig dich" by Rammstein. I'm surprised I remember, I generally don't when surveys ask this, lol.

Do you currently feel calm? No.

Are you good at making new friends? No, I'm too shy. It's easier online, but I still don't like reaching out.

Are there any important things happening this week? Sunday my sisters and I are having lunch with Dad and his wife for his birthday, and I also obviously have PT this week, and I think therapy (thank fucking god) too.

If comfortable answering, have you or would you ever be admitted into a mental hospital? Already said earlier that I have been, but the last part of this question is very inaccurate and misleading; involuntary commitment exists and has happened to me, like you don't GET to choose. You can get a lawyer to shorten your stay, but you're going to the mental hospital anyway.

What’s a color you think is underrated? Uh... I don't really know. OH, maybe green, like nature-y shades? I think green's a less popular color, but the shades that remind you of being outside, like mossy, seafoam, or forest greens, c'mon, they're fantastic.

Would you rather never be sick again or be rich? uh, BE RICH???????? Do you know how much good that would do?????????????

When did you last hear thunder? Today.

What all have you put in the trash today? Uh the lid that seals the top of the meal replacement shakes I drink, but the bottle itself went in the recycling bin, and I also put cans of the flavored water I drink in there.

Do you enjoy blueberry muffins? omg yes, I LOVE these.

What’s something you will never forget? The night of the breakup with Jason.

What’s the most bitter pill you’ve ever taken? Uh I'm just gonna take this literally, in which case I think Lamictal, a med I was on for a long time. It's a big pill and it regularly would hit the roof of my mouth, and on god when that shit happens, you want to DIE afterwards because of the taste it leaves.

What is a popular TV show or movie that you do not like? Years ago, Girt and I watched the original three Star Wars movies, and neither of us got the appeal like, at all. Whatsoever. Unrelated to my opinion of the films but do y'all know how SHOCKED I was to hear Yoda's voice for the first time like THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? I don't share information like this man anyway literally yesterday

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? Shockingly, I don't like energy drinks; they're just way too sweet for me, and when a drink is too sweet for ME, that says something.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed? Maybe someday, idk.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals? Yeah sure, idc. We live in an area where black bears exist, but they are VERY rare to see in this county.

What’s your biggest priority right now? Honestly I kinda think getting a job has officially outrun my attention to improving my mental health. Maybe. Idk. I'm just desperate.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? Well, because I was only ever in the ER overnight for suicidal reasons, my options were extremely limited; I was only sometimes allowed a book, and it had to be approved by the staff. Usually I just slept, or tried to anyway, because their beds are ABSOLUTE and utter shit. They really need to give you more options, like the most insane I've ever felt was during those long ER stays where I was just kept in this small room with nothing to do like some neglected animal. It does NOT help your mental state; it only ever made it worse.

Are your hands unsteady? Yeah, I have what's called essential tremors. I feel like they've improved, though, especially the less medicated I am.

Do you think you’re pretty? No. It's insane, I've always thought of myself as ugly, since literal childhood, but where I am now in life, I'd give anything to look like how I did as a teenager again.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook? This was accidentally the case with Jason; I thought he was a different Jason that I actually did somewhat know. Y'know I never asked how he ever even found my name + account lol, according to him he just saw me in the school hall one day and was immediately like "yup I need to know her," lol wish you hadn't bro

Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad.

Who do you know that wears the most makeup? Probably my friend Summer, but I want to make it abundantly clear that this should not be seen as a bad thing. She's a very talented cosmetologist and makeup just makes her happy.

Have you ever been tied up? No.

Are you anyone’s first love? I don't know. I used to think that was the case with Sara, but to be honest, I don't think she really romantically loved me.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? By middle school, we had different teachers for each subject, so.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Girt.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? I'm certain Jason did and I'm pretty sure Girt has.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer that boys/men do whatever the fuck they want with their own body, I literally have no opinion. People who treat body hair like it's disgusting and/or uncleanly are due to grow the fuck up.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She knows I've done things, but what those "things" are I've never shared. She knows I'm a virgin + why.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? LMAO YES, Girt and I do this so much and were last night too.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? No.

When was the last time you went to an ice cream parlor? What kind of ice cream did you get? Oh wow you just unlocked a memory I forgot I had, it woulda been when I visited Sara, I think the last time. Her dad took us and I think her youngest brother to this local place that they love, despite it being fucking freezing lol, but it's never too cold for ice cream. I don't remember what I got, but they had a ginormous amount of options to mix together.

Did you go to school with anyone named Ashley? What was that person like? Well in high school my older sister Ashley was briefly there while I was, and back then she was very independent, studious, ambitious, but also very reclusive; she didn't leave her room a lot and when she did, it was usually to go somewhere. Back then she was also the kind that couldn't leave the house without makeup, and it always broke my heart, like my sister has always been gorgeous. Thankfully she's WAY past that now.

What color is the vehicle that you travel in most often? White.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? When was the last time you saw them? I have a shitload if you include my half-siblings, but I only regularly see Ashley's three kids. I saw them like... two weeks ago? I have a nephew by my brother that I haven't met yet, which sucks. Actually Katie also has a kid or maybe even two that I haven't met. Your family being strewn about all over the country fucking sucks.

Do you know the story of how your grandparents met? No, for neither pair of them.

Do you have a relative or close friend named Peter? When was the last time you saw that person? I actually don't think I know a single Peter.

Have you ever had an ex who wanted to get back together? What did you say to them? Well, I guess Girt. He said yes when I asked him back out, so he was obviously up for it.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

0 notes

the-teddy-bear-butch · 1 year

Note

Hi Пчёлка!

It's literally fine, I have an ask in my inbox from November that I haven't touched since last year (so weird it's 2023 now. I hope you have an amazing new year that is uneventful and you're loved ones stay in good health <- coined phrase over the last couple day lol)

AS FOR THE LITTLE BIT OF SNOW I TALKED ABOUT it kept on coming then there was like a foot and a half, which wouldn't be too bad except it stayed like -23 for like a week and a half (arctic outflows my beloathed) and never melted the entire time.

tbh the weather's not bad anymore, it's still pretty cold but all the snow is gone and it was sunny today!!! I made pancakes an moved my plants to the big window so they could get sun to celebrate.

once again risking it all for some whipped cream.

tuque is such a fun word to say! it also has a bunch of different spellings.

The new job is going pretty good! I've discovered that kid's under the age of 7 think my fake and very bad for that matter Russian accent is hysterical, which I think is hysterical.

December was actually pretty good! An stubbornly optimistic is definitely the vibe for this year. I don't really have any new years resolutions except for maybe treating myself as kindly as I hope this year teats me. How about you?

Alas, Priory is still sitting rejected on my bookshelf. I got a really cool copy of The Hobbit at my favourite book store so now i'm doing a re-read 😂 While I was there I met the new bookstore cat and not to be dramatic but I'd die and kill for her.

I hope you're staying warm! I am so glad that weather passed and I hope it leaves you alone soon!

Gender fuckery my beloved <3

Literally so glad we don't live in a world where J*ke G*llenhall is Frodo. I do love Nicolas Cage but Viggo Mortensen is literally the perfect Aragorn.

alhdgskhf my family makes the best garlic powder and it goes on everything.

SPEAKING of Ronanceifying a song, I am about to send you the most rambly au idea.

I would literally kill for Paramore tickets. The News has been stuck in my head since it came out. It's totally storm cloud grey and reminds be of.. storms. Devil Is A Woman is totally dark magenta and you know that feeling when you're walking around and feel kinda like a villain in a movie, but in a good way? yeah that. (having thoughts of starting a side blog where people can send in music and I can do the colour/vibes thing. thought?)

oh it was 3 am for you too?

Quite possibly the last time I sign off like this, not because i'm going anywhere but because I think i'll ✨reveal my identity✨ tomorrow

-el

Hello hello! <33

I have some asks as old as September in reference to an ask game I’m not sure I could find again if I tried LMAO. The same to you! I hope the year treats you and your family with kindness and is chill!

WOW, that’s a lot! I hope it was at least fun to play in or something! Glad it all melted and it’s sunny now! Those pancakes look INCREDIBLE, and I bet that’s some damn good maple syrup ;)

Fake and very bad Russian accents are indeed hysterical! I love kids, honestly, they’re so fun. I worked a summer “camp” for a two week period and my best friend was a 5 year old who drew me a picture because I hung out with her when she was sad. What sort of job are you working, if you don’t mind me asking? :O are you teaching?

That’s a pretty damn good one! We all deserve to be treated with kindness, especially by ourselves!! Besides that, I just want to keep working on my silly novel(s), see my friends more, that kind of thing!!

Poor Priory, rejected by the both of us LMAO. Yay for The Hobbit! That was one of my favorite books for years, honestly you may be inspiring a reread for me now lol. Bookstores are my favorite ever, but they’re even better with animals! My irl bestie took me to one locally that I didn’t know existed and they had a dog and he was so cute.

Definitely staying warm! It’s actually warm enough yo be mildly concerned about it (insert TikTok audio “the weather outside is warm, the planet is dying). I wouldn’t mind it being slightly colder because I am gay and I must wear LAYERS. I hope you’re staying warm as well!

J*ke G*llenhall Frodo is literally the darkest timeline. Gotta say, Nick Cage as Aragorn does sound interesting tho. But for some reason this man is solidified in my brain as National Treasure Man. I’ve seen National Treasure once???

I saw you sent it! Gonna check that out right after this 🫡

I was about ready to kill for tickets! They randomly added a second OK location after the first one sold out, so I LUCKED OUT. They’re definitely nose bleed seats, but IDC, I GET TO SEE PARAMORE AND IM GOING INSANE. I’m normal about them. Truly. I think the side blog idea is AMAZING, that would be so cool! I have a silly music side blog too, but mine is much less interesting than that lmao. If you do it, let me know because I will absolutely follow it 👀

When I responded to that other one, yeah! Time zones are funky

AYO? I’m excited! I think I have a theory, but I will wait to see if I’m right hehe

Eagerly awaiting your next not anon message,

- Max/Lo <33

#elmax anon

1 note · View note

pandorasmidnight · 3 years

Text

I'm Thinking

Donnie x Fem Chubby Reader

PS: So this is my first oneshot on here, so sorry if it's not the best. I finally decided to post it after a nice conversation I had and I also made it as neutral as possible so everyone can feel included 😁😁. So without further ado.

——————————————————————————————

☆ Warning: Self deprecating thoughts

☆ Category: Fluff with a pinch of suggestive themes at the end.

——————————————————————————————

Of all days, today was the absolute worst. It started off with your alarm never going off, you having to do your group presentation alone since the others had some "emergency", leaving you with a barely passing grade and the reigning champion you couldn't forget, those ever lurking negative thoughts, that on this momentous day, decided to show you who was boss.

While rushing to get ready for the day, you saw it. From the corner of your eye, in the mirror. Your stomach, it was jiggling from all the movements but you never let it get to you most of the time.

Unbelievably Ugly.

Why is he with you?

Isn't April better? I mean she's everything you're not.

I honestly don't understand why he chose you over her.

With this, you started staring at yourself a little more. When you entered a bathroom stall later that day, two others entered with a conversation that had you thinking the worst.

"Yeah she is fat. I honestly don't know how she's hasn't broken her chair yet."

"I know right. Gosh I feel sorry for everything she walks or sits on."

That's the last thing you heard as they left. Since the day wasn't all you thought it would be, immediately after school you went to your terrapin boyfriend for some much needed reassurance, but what you were greeted with had you reconsidering your place in his life.

"Ugh! Where is it?!" he said as he tore down the lab.

"Hey Donnie." You walked over to hug him but he side-stepped you and continued his search.

Without looking at you he replies, "What do you want Y/N? I'm kinda busy right now."

His tone told you he's highly stressed and this prompts you to tread lightly.

"Oh I just wanted to see you is all."

"Hmm," he walks around you searching once more.

"Can I help you find whatever you're looking for?"

"Sure I guess...."

"So what are we looking for?"

He explains what it looks like and you get to work. You search a little while and Donnie got more frustrated by the minute. He drops down in his chair and let's out a sigh while rubbing his eyes.

"Oh I think I found it!!!"

You get up so fast that you hit your head on a nearby table and some beakers fall to the floor.

"False alarm."

"Y/N get up."

"I'm sorry Donnie....I'll clean it up now!!!!"

"Y/N DON'T!"

You hiss in pain when your skin comes into contact with the liquid.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO! WAS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!"

"Donnie I'm sorry but I–"

"NO JUST GET OUT, I DON'T NEED ANYMORE MESSES MADE!"

"I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AROUND PROPERLY BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THE WAY!"

Hiding the hurt expression on your face, you run out without even looking at the others as they came to see what the noise was about.

Donnie turns to the doorway when he hears Mikey calling him out.

"Y'know you really shouldn't treat her like that.....poor dudette looked kinda bummed when she came in....."

Donnie's eyes widen when he realized his actions, he plops back unto his chair and drops his head on the table.

"I'm such an idiot..."

——————————————————————————————

You sit on your bed contemplating what you did wrong in order for today to have been so terrible. Faint tapping on your window alerts you to the new presence. You look over and see his eyes looking back.

"I just wanna talk.."

You open the window and he engulfs you in a tight hug upon entry. You stand there for a few minutes until he finally speaks.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. I was just frustrated and then I took it out on you and......ugh I was an idiot and I'm sorry......"

"It's fine....I guess.....but can you let go you're kinda crushing me..."

He let's go so fast you think he might have whiplash. He rubs his neck, you giggle at his facial expression and sit on the bed. He sees directly through you. He kneels infront of you and cups your cheeks.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking..."

He's pitying you.... there's no other reason I mean look at him....look at you!!!

He wouldn't want someone like you for his lover out of free will...

You look at your feet.

"Donnie...can I ask you a question?"

"What is it angel?"

"Why....why did you pick me?....."

His face drops instantly as he realizes how you're feeling and how his outburst might have contributed to it.

"Angel...I chose you because I love you. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You lit up my life when you started conversing with me that day. I'll admit April did catch my interest but you came and stole it like it was nothing, you understand me and make me feel good about myself in ways I couldn't even imagine..."

With each phrase he gets closer and closer until he sealed your lips with his. It starts to get heated, but when he glides his hand under your blouse, you come back to your senses. You tug your blouse back down and wrap your arms around yourself.

"Wait...I'm not...."

He's over you in a split second and makes all your thoughts withdraw for the time being.

"Y/N don't you dare say anything is wrong with you. I won't tolerate it. You're beautiful and I love you just the way you are. If someone said something ignore them, their opinion is irrelevant because you never asked for it."

"This cute tummy right here. I love it." He kisses it for emphasis.

"It is literally the best pillow aside from your bust area which provides 24 hour comfort when I'm resting on them."

"These thighs....oh my...have you heard the phrase thick thighs save lives?"

"And as you can clearly see I haven't died from caffeine overdose." He chuckles lightly which makes you giggle as well.

"Honestly I love my head being able to rest on your thighs but I think I'd rather be between them."

He smirks while pushing up his glasses and you smack his shoulder.

"Stop messing around...."

"But darling, I can assure you I'm not...."

He pushes you down and gives you a lustful look. With his administrations throughout the night, you can safely say he did show you how much he appreciated your body.

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt donatello x reader #tmnt #tmnt x chubby reader #chubby reader #tmnt x reader #my work

253 notes · View notes

hollanderfangirl · 3 years

Text

Nothing lasts forever |Harry Holland|

A/N: K, I wrote this for you. @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh congratulations on 1k!!! I wrote this through a writer's block so yeah not my best work

Warnings: angst, mentions of divorce, Harry being a dick

Word count: 3k

They say love conquers all. But it’s not that simple, is it? You meet, you fall in love, you think that love is enough and when things start to go downhill, you realise that it isn’t, after all. It’s the effort, time, circumstances, along with hundreds of other things. You make promises of being together forever but nothing lasts forever. Nothing. And when the promises break? You get your heart broken. But a heart that’s broken is a heart that’s been loved. How can something so perfect, something that brought you so much happiness, something you thought would be yours forever, go so wrong?

When you and Harry got married, everyone knew you were one of those couples who make you believe in ‘together forever’. You had met when you were teenagers and neither of you thought the relationship would last even six months. But there you were, seven years later, having the most extravagant wedding, vowing to never leave each other’s side and to support one another through it all.

The first two years of marriage was a honeymoon period, you both were having the best time of your lives, going on dates often, cooking together, falling asleep next to each other, you wondered how you even got so lucky. You joined him on most of his trips, you both travelled across the beautiful cities of Europe and America together and nothing else really mattered. You loved him more than anything in the world, and he loved you, what else did you need?

When your work was piling up, you knew that you had to go back, although neither of you wanted to leave each other. He was away from you more often, working on sets and filming his own movies, but you were quite used to it to say the least. Spending away nights of frustrations all alone, with no one there for you. But you didn’t complain, you could never do that. You could never stand in the way of Harry and his career.

Two years later, on Christmas Day, you held your daughter in your arms, a healthy and beautiful baby. You and Harry had never been more happy and overwhelmed.

“So what should we name her?” he asked you while gently rocking her to sleep.

“Noelle,” you smiled. “She really decided to make Christmas even more special”

Over the years, you were so proud of your little family, you would often look at Noelle and Harry, playing or reading together and the ‘father-daughter bonding time’ as Harry liked to call it. She was more fond of Harry than you, and that was why it was even harder for her than it was for you. You regretted it so many times, you didn’t want to give it all up, to give him up. But it was becoming so difficult, taking care of a small child all on your own, along with Harry acting like a child himself. It was far too much responsibility than you could handle. You loved him, you really did, but love is never enough.

Now you were cooking in the kitchen with Noelle sitting on the counter, reciting her lessons from school.

“But mommy! We have holidays coming up now!”

“Yes and you will have all the time to play and enjoy, ok?”

“And there’s something else too,” she giggled.

“Oh is it?” you pretend to think.

“Yes! It’s my birthday”

“That’s right, you’ll spend your birthday with grandma and grandpa and your uncles”

“Will daddy be there?”

“Hopefully yeah,” you sigh.

“Will you be there?”

“Of course, sweetie. Mommy would never miss your birthday party,” you pinch her cheeks.

“Why don’t you and daddy ever want to meet?” she speaks up after a minute.

“Baby… daddy and I…” you honestly didn’t know how to phrase it. “We just kind of don’t… talk anymore, you know?”

“Like Tina and me?”

“Yes, exactly like you and Tina”

“But you told me that I should not be angry at her and we should become friends again”

“That is for you, the thing between me and daddy is much more complicated”

“What does complicated mean?”

You chuckle, the questions never end.

You step out of the car into the bitter cold December wind in front of the Holland household. It had been a while since it had snowed this heavy, and you were worried if you would be able to drive in this weather.

“Here you go,” you say as you hand over Noelle to Sam.

“Gosh it’s so cold today, what are you even going to do?” he asks you.

“Go back to the office I don't really have anywhere to be”

“You're gonna work through Christmas? Take some time off, why don’t you stay with us?”

“Sam no-”

“Come on, y/n. How long will you keep avoiding him this way?”

“I- ”

“And what about Noelle’s birthday?”

“I’ll come and visit for a few hours on 25th”

“Y/n, this will always be your home too, with or without Harry. We would love to have you over for Christmas”

“Mommy please, I’m feeling cold out here,” Noelle says reaching out her tiny hands out to you from Sam’s arms.

“Okay fine,” you laugh.

As you get inside the house, Noelle jumps off from Sam and starts running into the house.

“Daddy!”

“Oh my little princess I’ve missed you!” you see Harry run from the living room, picking up Noelle and kissing her forehead. “How have you been? Have you been good? Otherwise who’s gonna get all the gifts?” he pretended to say in a childlike voice.

Your heart warmed up at the sight, your lips curling into a smile. It had been so long since you had seen the two of them reunited like this. Everytime you went to drop Noelle off at Harry’s house, you just waved from the car, not even caring about what happened afterwards.

He seemed a little surprised to see you there and you weren’t sure if it was a good surprise or not.

“Y/n… hi”

“Hey Harry”

“You um changed your hair”

“And you’re wearing the same old sweater”

“No this is a new sweater it’s uh-” he says trying not to continue with an awkward silence. “It’s the old sweater,” he shrugs, making you smile

"Y/n! What a surprise," Nikki calls you from the living room. "It's so nice to have you here over Christmas, everyone misses you so much"

You walk over to meet everyone as Noelle calls Sam to the side.

"Hmm what's up?" he asks the little girl.

"I know how mum and daddy can talk"

He lets out a laugh. "What? And why's that?"

"Mommy said that she and daddy don't talk anymore and that's the only problem. We just have to find a way for them to talk and become friends again"

"What's your plan, genius?"

And then she told him.

After dinner that night, you were sitting on the front porch with Sam. He was your friend, someone who you could always turn to. All of Harry's family was like that. When you both got divorced, you thought you would lose contact with the Hollands, you didn't want to lose them too because they were just like your own family but the bond didn't change, Sam helped you get through it, just like he helped Harry and he was the one who had tried to resolve things between you both.

"I still don't understand. You both were doing just fine, better than fine. All of you were so happy, what even happened?"

"Sam… Harry and I haven't even talked about what went wrong between us. Everytime we tried to talk, something came in between"

"Then talk now, you have plenty of time"

"How does it even matter now?"

"It does. I've seen how miserable you two are, you don't even want to see each other. I know you both still have something"

"We have Noelle," you say as a matter of factly.

"You know what I mean. You both love each other"

"See that's the thing with love. Love doesn't help me take care of a four year old all on my own, Sam. She misses him so much. She just keeps asking me when she'll get to see her father. He never made time for us"

"I know he's been a kind of a jerk"

You raise an eyebrow at him.

"Okay a big jerk, but he cares about you and Noelle. I'm not asking you to get back together but at least talk and resolve whatever beef you both have"

"We can't"

"Why?"

"It's just… I don't even know"

There was a long silence. If it was summer, you would have been hearing the crickets chirping but at this hour of a cold winter night, all you could hear was the faint distant noise of the faraway traffic.

"How about this, you both go out tomorrow, just for an hour or two, hang out, talk, just say whatever you had been holding in all this time"

"You're setting us up on a date?"

"Not a date. You both just need to talk, right? So you just need some alone time"

"Has Harry agreed to this?"

"He definitely would"

"No, it'll be too much. And what about Noelle?"

"What about her? We're all here to take care of her. You just go and talk this over"

You lay awake at night thinking about the happy times you had with Harry. How did things go so so wrong?

Two years earlier

"Harry, the opening ceremony is on Friday, it's huge for the company!"

"Yes I know, love. I really wish I could make it"

"What… do you mean?"

"I'll be leaving for Atlanta two days from now"

"But it's important to me and everyone will be asking for you"

"I'm so sorry, baby but I have to go"

"You've done a great job, y/n. Where's Harry? I'd love to meet him," your manager asks you at the after party of the opening ceremony.

"He couldn't make it tonight. He really wanted to be here"

"Where's your husband, miss y/l/n? This is such a big day for you!" another one of your colleagues asked you later that night.

"He's really disappointed he couldn't be here but duty calls," you tried to hide your loneliness and sadness through a smile.

"Y/n! I haven't seen Harry tonight…"

"How's the movie coming up?" you were talking to Harry at 2 in the morning, time zones were driving the both of you crazy.

"It's going great! The location is amazing, I think we could shoot the whole film here. I just wish you were here I miss you so much"

"I miss you too, just come back home," listening to his voice seemed to make you even lonelier.

"I will," you hear music playing in the background and the noise of people cheering and talking.

"What's happening there?"

"Ah they're throwing a party in my honour, it's been such a success-" you heard a woman laugh right beside him.

"So are you having a good time?"

"Yes I am I just-"

"Then you should go back to it. Bye"

"But y/n-"

You were still working when he came back from the airport and you immediately rushed home after you were free.

When you saw him, you felt as though you were seeing a stranger. He looked different and he felt different and he looked tired than ever. Nevertheless you jumped on him and hugged him tight, making sure he was real.

"Oh god I've missed you, more than you could ever know," he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

"Really? Then show me how much you've missed me," you say as you lead him into your shared bedroom.

"I'm so sorry I missed your opening, darling I really wanted to be there"

"It's alright, we have another celebration next month, you can meet everyone there"

"Oh I can't make it to that either, I have to get away again after three weeks"

"But you just came back! And Noelle is just two years old, how do you expect me to take care of her and go to work?"

"There's nothing I can do, y/n. The contracts have already been signed. This is my big break, it's important to me"

"And our marriage is not? Your daughter is not?"

"You both are the most important to me," he put his calloused hands on your cheeks. "But you knew this was what our life would be when you married me"

"Everything has changed since then, Harry. We have a child now and we're so happy here. Why do you have to go away halfway across the world for months"

"Nothing has changed. I still love you the same and our careers are still as important to us as before"

"You could have at least talked to me about this"

"Yes I'm sorry. Everything will be alright once I return, I just have to go now"

Harry couldn't focus on work that day. He just kept replaying the conversation he had with you before leaving.

'I can't lose her. I really can't," he thought. 'Oh my god I love her, I love her so much. We have to find a way to make this work'

And ten thousand miles away from him, you sat all alone on the bed, thinking, 'this will not work, we're so happy, why does he want to give all of this up?'

"We're not teenagers anymore, y/n. Now I want something and you want something else, our worlds are different"

"So we just let it go?"

"I'm not saying that we have to let anything go, but it's my career, y/n. For the first time in my life, things have finally started to move and I don't want to lose anything"

"Harry… I have always supported your career. I have always supported your dreams. But you can have everything you want right here with me and Noelle. You don't have to leave"

"You're not even trying to understand"

"I'm understanding everything. I can't do this anymore, I'm not another one of your fans, Harry. I can't just keep on chasing you like this"

"Ice skating? Really?" you say as you see the long sheet of ice that lay on the ground in front of you, there were only a few people as it was a cold day. Everyone was probably snuggled up in bed with some warm coffee rather than going out on a date with their ex husband.

"We can go somewhere else if you want, there's a restaurant-"

"No this is fine. After all Noelle chose it"

He helps you put on your skates and you both hold each other, trying not to lose balance until you reach the ice rink.

"Ah that's it," he lets go of your arm but still holds your hand in his.

"Wait what did you mean Noelle chose it?"

"You don't know your daughter, Mr Holland. She's grown up to be quite the matchmaker," you laugh.

"You remember how we used to come here?" you smile at the memories, you and Harry used to go ice skating almost every week in winters. Although neither of you were the best at it, you loved the times you spent falling and laughing and later on having hot chocolate in each other's arms.

"Yeah," he tries to hold your other hand as well. "You remember the Christmas Noelle was born? I miss taking her out ice skating"

"Of course I remember," you sigh. "Eighteen hours of labor, and I was alone. You couldn't even make it in time for the birth of your own daughter"

"She was supposed to be born in January, how could I have known she would come in so early?"

"Well you always have the excuses ready, don't you?"

"It's not an excuse, it's more of an explanation. The flights were all booked, I mean it was Christmas! And I did reach the hospital in time"

"You reached the hospital when she was all cleaned up and in my arms"

He stays silent for a few moments and then speaks, with a gentler tone. "Y/n I'm sorry, I really am"

"You always said that, yet you never did anything to understand what went wrong"

"I was just so caught up in my life, I mean… there was so much work. I know I didn't spend much time with you both and-"

"It wasn't even about spending time, Harry. The thing is, you were never there for us. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. Even your brother understood that I needed someone but you didn't. You're just so-" you choked on the words.

"I know, and all I can say is that I've messed up, big time. I know you can't forgive me"

"Oh I've forgiven you a long time ago, Harry"

His hair was all messed up from the wind, going wild in all directions like a crown on his head. His nose and cheeks were turning red from the cold and all you wanted in that moment, was just kiss him. You wanted to feel his cold lips on yours until they turned warm. You wanted to hold his hair in your fingers, you wanted to touch him, you wanted to feel him. You wanted everything you once had. You wanted him back.

"I remember everything about you, you know?" he spoke up. "How can I ever forget? I remember how much you loved reading and how you hated it when I left my clothes on the floor. And how you keep your socks on during sex"

"You just had to bring that up" you roll your eyes and laugh.

"The thing is, I love you. I always have, even now when we're.... over, I still love you. I never got over you"

"Harry-"

"Y/n, what we had, it was something else. You're… the only woman I've actually ever loved in my life"

"And you're the only one who I've loved in my life. But we can't go back now"

"Why? Why can't we give it another chance? Give us another chance?"

"It didn't work the first time, why do you think it'll work now?"

"I don't. But I'm miserable without you and we're different now. I've lost you once and I'll never make you feel like I'm busy for you, ever again"

"Are you sure? I'm tired, Harry. I'm so tired, I really cannot go through this if everything goes wrong again"

"It won't. I promise you, let's give us another chance, please?"

You looked into his eyes and you knew the answer.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:｡:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

🌻

Taglist

@mischiefmanaged011 @notsosmexy @drie-the-derp @justanothermarvelmaniac @amorhollands @thisetaernallove @calltothewild @fancyxparker @peterspideysstuff @musicalkeys @theliterarymess @hollands-weasley @tommysparker @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @parkerpeter24 @more-like-reyna @hollandbroz-n-haz @aqiise @sarcasticallywitty15 @spiderrrling @theonly1outof-a-billion

#k's 1k writing challenge #harry holland #harry holland angst #harry holland imagine #harry+holland+x+y/n #harry holland fluff #harry holland fic #harry holland x you

72 notes · View notes

hanawrites404 · 3 years

Text

One Dance

Game : The Arcana

Pairing : some slight hints of various pairings

Characters : Asra Alnazar, Nadia Satrinava, Julian Devorak, Portia Devorak, Muriel, Lucio Morgasson, Wynne Toprak, Lyra Slaquer, Sèbastien Slaquer, Raymond Slaquer (the Slaquers belong to @the-soupiest-artist) and Maura Hickey (who belongs to @puzzle-piece-angel)

Warnings : None

Timeline : Modern-Dance AU

This story is based of this song :

And this story is an introduction to the Vesuvia Dance Company and its members, so come along and let's see what does it have in store ✨✨

3rd person POV

"Tch. Boring......."

The wind whooshed against her as she tucks her flowing strands of hair behind her ear. She was leaning against the railings of her balcony, her hands resting on the cold metal as she examined her painted black nails.

To her, black was always the perfect colour. And she nearly never altered it to any other shade. It would be too tedious again.

The woman crossed her legs as she drank her Limoncello from the rim of her glass, the bubbles of the alcohol fizzed inside. Her throat bobbed with every sip and jingled the translucent crystal attached to her dark choker. The liquor quenched her dry throat, pricking it with its gas bubbles and bitter taste as she sighed the cold air.

The sparkling alcohol matched with her eyes as they stared upon the heads of the people walking past her apartment from the balcony. The cars driving away looked like playthings to her, and the trees swaying against the soft gust seemed like shrubs. Nothing was of interest to her outside as she continued to drink her beverage and blink away the yawn from her eyes.

She thought of going to bed again since she had nothing to do either inside or outside, but then a simple phone call from her friend changed all her plans.

"What is it Asra?" She answered, not a good afternoon, not even a hi. She wasn't in a mood for this.

"Heya Wynne! How are you doing first of all??" The person from the other side of the phone didn't seem unfazed by her disinterest because of his experienced friendship with the woman. She sighed and replied, admiring her nails again. "Nothing much, just passing my precious time as always" she chuckled at the last phrase. "What about you? What's the occasion for calling me?"

"Well, I missed you dearly-"

Wynne instinctively made an expression which spoke out 'Oh really?'

"And I have something to propose to you"

The girl blinked from curiosity and pulled away from the railings, walking inside her penthouse, still holding the glass of Limoncello and her phone near her ear as she told him to continue.

"So! You and I both know how much you love to dance right? You have also given performances at your workplace and you just love to lose yourself to the club music. You are a very awesome dancer, Wynne. And you don't mind showcasing your moves to everyone"

"Yeah, so what?" Wynne rubbed her temples, Asra was sure taking his sweet time and her forbearance.

"Well, I have sort of an offer for you. Why don't you meet me at the address I'm gonna text you and I'll spill everything when you arrive"

"Wait what?!" Wynne places her hand on her coffee table, her voice of disbelief and bafflement. "You got to be fucking kidding me Asra. Please tell me what is it and don't you dare cut off like this"

"Sorry Wynne, but I am busy. I promise I'll tell you everything there. Goodbye!"

"Asra! ASRA!!!" but she was too late.

"UGH, fucking bitch....." Wynne snarled as she clutched her phone tight in her palm. The device then vibrated in her hand and she rolled her eyes, opening her phone to find that Asra had sent her the destination in their chat. It was an address that was unfamiliar to Wynne, and thanks to the wonder which had already accumulated in her mind, she growled, and finally decided to reach the place.

Wynne swallowed the last sip of her drink and looked down at her clothes. Assuming that Asra was calling her to a public place, she decided to change from her casuals to a sleeved black crop top and matching palazzos and chunky heels. She combs her blue hair and applies her dark lipstick before grabbing the keys of her old red Cadillac, and she descended the stairs after locking her house.

"Asra, this better not be a prank or I will slap you to grave" she murmured grimly as she started the engine of her car and drove to the address. With a bit of traffic and breakers in between, it took her somewhat half an hour to reach an unknown college building. Now, why would Asra call her here? Was it perhaps for a college reunion? Then why was he talking about dancing? She had so many questions, and Asra owes all the answers to her after leaving her hanging on the phone like that.

"Winnie!! Over here!!" The woman turned her head to the call to find her best friend trotting while waving towards her. It didn't take her long to notice the tie-dyed rainbow shirt and glitter pants with sparkle sketchers, as Wynne just nodded and waited for Asra to finally stop by her car so she could give an earful to him for leaving her edged at the cliff. But calming her urge to denounce him, she patiently asked.

"Alright, I'm here. Now what? Why did you call me near a college?"

"A college?" Asra snorted and burst into a laugh. This made Wynne even more confused and annoyed as she snarled silently and eyed him, unamused. By phoning her at an unknown place when she was in a particularly bad mood only to laugh at her, she had set up her mind to drive away right in front of him and crush him with her car. But then, he luckily spoke on time before she could act her frivolous murder.

"Boo, this is not a college. It may look like one, but it's not. Trust me" Asra winked at her. Wynne, still being unamused, leaned her forehead against her fingers as she replied lethargically.

"Well, what is it then? Care to explain after calling me here without any proper explanation?" She already wanted to leave honestly. And can't she just sleep?

"Of course. If you would follow me, Milady" Asra being the gentleman offered his hand out to her though he was aware of Wynne's already increasing irritation. He stayed patient because he didn't want to reveal the surprise yet to her. The vexed girl grunted again and got off her car, placing her fair hand over his tanned one. Asra gently squeezed her hand in his with a warm smile on his face. That seemed to lower her irritation as she squeezed his hand back. Asra with a small blush spreading across his golden cheeks led her near to the campus, and Wynne followed him gradually.

Soon both of them were near the polished mahogany doors after passing the lobby inside. And before he could enter, Asra checked on his friend with another appreciative smile. Wynne raised her eyebrow. To her, Asra looked very gladder than usual. Though he was known to be a happy guy, he looked....... exceptionally optimistic today. Was today someone's birthday? Was today her birthday? She had no idea what the hell was going on and what the hell was wrong with Asra.

"What's the matter?" She asked. She sounded calm, but inside she was bubbling with novelty that what exactly he had in mind.

"This is not a college, Wynne" Asra repeated what he said before.

"Yeah, so what? Please don't pull another suspense now" the woman placed her hand on her lip. She loved the suspense, but too much of it makes her feel lazy.

Heh, as if she wasn't feeling lethargic already.

Asra chortled and patted her head, and he finally pushed open the huge doors to uncover something imperial, stupendous and incredible enough to leave Wynne's mouth gaping and her eyes caught mesmerized.

Inside the so-assumed as college, was a tremendous majestic dance theatre of what looked like belonging to a prosperous french period. It glittered with gold and red, as a satin rose sprinkled with dewdrops glimmering of sunshine. The walls were delicately painted with a royal maroon gloss and regal purple imprints of what left an impression of lavender flower. Even the hall gave off the scent of apricot and apple orchards. The hefty velvet curtains hemmed the rectangle stage elegantly, the spotlights modern, and the footing was simply immaculate.

"Asra......This is-"

"Alluring? Captivating? Hypnotising??? Is there any other English word I am missing??"

"Well, I would say that yeah. But...this place is like a fantasy!!" Wynne exclaimed as she idolised the beautifully festooned and pleasingly symmetrical ceiling. "I know right? Told you so. I'm glad you liked it. It's one of my favourite places to stay at" Asra joined her as she entered in, the click of her heels grating into the carpets of the theatre.

"Yeah......it's like this has come straight from the golden era of art. Like in one of my school history books! I...I never would have guessed that it would even more wonderful in real life. I thought it was more of a vision of romantic people which were just left as dreams" Wynne skimmed the sides as she examined the details closely, thinking internally about how much work must have gone into creating such a painting over such a vast canvas.

"Well, this theatre runs on donations and funds, but it's sure undeniable that this dance studio is glorious and alluring" Asra shrugged.

"Yes...it is........ Wait" Wynne stopped in mid-sentence and turned to him, her hand still on the wall. "Did you say, dance studio?". Before Asra could open his mouth to reply to her, another unfamiliar voice echoed from a corner. It sounded soothing, pleasant and graceful, but Wynne could not recognise who it was. However, the source was soon revealed as she walked towards both of them, and both of their eyes got fixated on her.

"Oh! A guest! Is she the person you were talking about, Asra?" The fair lady enquired, and Asra nodded in agreement. "Yup! She is the one. The 'blueberry syrup' " Asra winked at the unknown lady.

Wynne was now really questioning her existence....... blueberry syrup..........

Seriously?

"Oh! Now I see why you called her that" the soft ravenette chuckled, even her laugh chimed blissful which can send anyone to ease. Asra giggled and agreed to her, his dimple delicately forming on his cheek like a tiny crescent moon.

"Anyways, here she is. Wynne" Asra introduced the bluenette to the foreign lady, who smiled sweetly at her and Wynne waved for a greeting.

"And Wynne, this is Lyra" Asra finally disclosed the name of the gentle lady, who then stepped closer to Wynne and reached her hand out for her to shake, which the other lady gladly took after staring at her pale hand. And as she had guessed, her hand was soft like feathers.

"Lyra Slaquer, but you can call me Lyra. It's a delight to meet you, Wynne. I hope you enjoy your stay over here" she spoke with another cute smile. Wynne nodded and took her hand back, breaking a small grin herself. The name 'Slaquer' whistled a bit familiar to her, but she had never met Lyra before so it was kind of odd, but she pushed the thought and quickly replied to her.

"I too wish to enjoy my visit over here. This place is still kind of anonymous to me since Asra did technically blackmailed me to arrive here" the woman stared at the white curlyhead with narrowed eyes.

"What?!" Lyra gasped as her hand partially covered her mouth. "He did?! I'm so sorry for that, Wynne! He usually does not do that though" she grabbed her chin in her two fingers.

"Wait, I never blackmailed you" Asra's purple eyes widened in scepticism.

"You provoked me. You fed my curiosity and you left me fucking dumbfounded by your sudden hanger, you agitated me so much that the urge you aroused in me won. And whose fault do you think it is??" Wynne crossed her arms and stared at him, with her weight on one leg.

Asra's cheeks lit up with bright pink by the lady's question. It was not a surprise that Wynne caught his fib about being busy just to bring her here. He had known her ever since they were kids, and Winnie was the most attentive one out of the two. A smirk engraved on her dark lips as she tapped her foot on the floor, waiting for a comeback, though she was already aware that he doesn't have an answer. He was caught, he was very badly caught. And he sadly had nothing to objectify with.

Lyra meanwhile just looked from Asra to Wynne, then back to Asra. She was waiting for one of them to speak, but someone calling her name, presumably from backstage, snapped her out. "Coming!" The twirly ravenette replied, and she rushed to attend to her call. But soon after she stopped at her heels for a moment, and turned back to gently grab Wynne's hand and then finally walking with her.

"Come on Wynne! Let's make you meet everyone. I'm sure they will love you" Lyra notified her and she continued dragging her. The blue-eyed lady sounded so favourable and eager that Wynne couldn't muster the will to pull away and refuse her. She was better than deterring the warmth of a civil lady like her, and Wynne peeked back at Asra, who just waved at her, mugging 'have fun' to her.

'I will kill you.....' she gestured back at him with a scowl and flipped him off until Lyra and she completely disappeared behind the stage. And good thing she didn't notice Wynne being blatantly horrible and rude.

Not that Asra minded her cynicism anyway, he still loved her for how she was.

"Guys, listen up! We have a visitor here. She is Asra's dearest friend!" Lyra with a sunny smile as twinkling as the moon inaugurated her to everyone present backstage.

But little did Lyra know that Wynne already knew four motherfuckers present inside.

"What the heck? How are you all at one place?? And most importantly, what are you guys doing here???" Wynne pointed her finger from puzzlement at all of them and questioned the troop she knew very well through conventions and clashes she would never forget. Some of them which she found awful, and some of them surprisingly candy. She honestly never wanted to meet any of them at all, but profoundly in her heart, she was obliged that she was oriented with the six awesome and decent idiots.

"WYNNE?!!" A particular red-haired fellow, a ginger girl, a raven head man and a purplenette lady, together cried out the lady's name. The four were in a greater shock than she was in. Because neither Asra told them who the guest was, nor did they expect her to be the visitor out of any other persons they could have guessed. Now that's quite a shocker eh?

"Oh~ you know them???" Lyra bent towards her, her blue eyes shone with inquisition. "Yes...Yes, I do" Wynne sauntered towards them, this time, with a wooden floor, her heels gave off the clicking like of a ticking timepiece. Her hands were crossed, and she was tickled that how all the pals she was intimate to were existing in the area.

"Since when?" Lyra strolled with her. "Long story, Dear. It's all thanks to Asra, you can say. He is the cause why I know all of them. Like I met Nadia during one of his get-together parties, and then I met these two siblings- what was their name again? AH! Julian and Portia, at a grocery store when I and Asra wanted some stuff. And like that, I met his other best friend, the giant guy over there, Muriel"

Wynne brought up each one of them as she enunciated about them to Lyra. The ravenette listened to the bluenette with peak attention. She adored the manner and the refinement she held up while chatting to her. It was ethical, posh and highly lordly, just as a splendid black swan.

"And that's the story in a nutshell. Now tell me" Wynne kept her hands on her hips and glared at the four. "What's going on here?". "Wait, Asra didn't tell you what exactly is this place and what is our purpose here??" The physician asked her with mistrust.

"Well, no. He told me nothing. But he did say that this is a dance studio" Wynne tapped her chin, trying to recall what else he had asserted.

"Well yes, you are correct on that. This is a dance studio. Which includes the theatre along with the backstage, the rehearsal rooms, a canteen area with the lobby, a recreational cabin and the dorms. Our dancers live here and we provide them with a comfortable and hygienic place to stay along with necessary hospitality, and they all perform for the company" Nadia replied.

"Wait, the company? You guys are running a corporation together?" Wynne cocked her eyebrow again. This all was very new to her, and pretty intriguing too.

"You can say like that. This is Vesuvia Dance Company, and I'm proud to say that we all are like a close-knit family here. I run the company and also work as the organiser. Portia is the set painter. All the lavender imprints you saw on the screens were done by her" the umber woman referred to the chubby girl as she waved heartily at Wynne.

Judging by Portia's denim suspenders splattered with numerous sorts of pigments, she did look like a very hard worker. Just like how Wynne always knew her to be.

"And that gentleman over there, Muriel, he does the building work. So the stage and every scenery of the bureau is retained by him. During performances, he also makes sure the lights and every other piece of equipment are operating appropriately. Portia occasionally teams up with him for the arrangement of struts and special effects. Without him, the true magnificence of the dance would never have reached the audience" Nadi commended.

Muriel's cheeks blossomed pale red as his jade eyes shyly lowered down. Portia had the opposite reaction though. She just grinned and locked arms with the giant man catching him off guard and turning him more rattled than ever.

"I-It's not that much of a big deal" he mumbled abjectly. Wynne chuckled at the scene and muttered 'cute' before facing Nadia so she could introduce the medic next.

"And you must know Dr Devorak. Just as his profession speaks, he takes care of the condition of every member of the company and assures the safety of everyone from likely injuries or illnesses. He also schedules a diet plan if required, and he is also quite sincere in his work, and the members easily recover, all thanks to him"

"And....did any previous member die even though he was around?" Wynne heckled, and Julian fell right into her mockery as his face burnt deep red, the vivid colour spreading across his porcelain skin. He was positively ashamed, and Wynne snagged him so badly he was staggering. But luckily, Nadia seconded him up as she soughed.

"No Wynne. No one has died. The doctor is a qualified physician, and every one of us relies on his skills of treatment. He is also very humble, so there is nothing for us to be concerned about in terms of health" She retorted. "Alright. I believe you" Wynne shrugged with a sly smile, although the flush on Julian's cheeks didn't vanish. Wynne was like a harpy when it comes to disparaging someone, which sometimes makes Julian fear her. Other than that, Julian did like her, she can be cute sometimes and he has seen it. But just like every ambivert, all she requires is the right time to express it.

"And moving on, Asra is our principal dancer, so he is the one who comes with most of the choreography, but he also ensures to give opportunities to the other dancers to suggest any addition. With his and everyone's aptitude, the event comes out to be beautiful" Nadia affirmed with a low smile on her swift lips.

"I see....." Wynne held her chin in her fingers and nodded.

"And the thespians along with Asra are, Lyra, Maura, and-"

"Hello guys! What's up?"

"Woah Woah Woah!! Take it easy! We didn't go anywhere" Julian stumbled back onto a table as he attempted to brace away from the not-so sudden jumpscare of the stranger who appeared to have popped out in between out of nowhere. Well, a stranger to Wynne, to be precise.

"Haha, sorry Ilya. I was just excited to meet the new guest, and I didn't wanna miss them!" The outsider gleefully met the sights of the new lady with his azure ones, a purple glisten romped within his iris, just like how the gold flapped inside the matron's lustrous eyes. Other than his apertures, she noticed how he looked a bit similar to Lyra, contemplating the same type of hair and complexion of the skin. She then looked down at his clothes. The uproar he was wearing captured her eye, reasonably. Wynne was stringent, and a fashionista filled with critique, but what the man was having over him wasn't so terrible to her at all. She could see the striped black-white sweater, baby pink pants,

And were those turquoise crocs he was wearing???????

"Interesting...." Was all that Wynne could say.

"This is Raymond. He is our pianist, and he with his band performs along with the dancers. And he also conducts the music" Nadia enlisted. "Oh, so he is the soul of the performance huh. Pretty....... eccentric" Wynne eyed Raymond who glanced innocently back at her. She rasped and dabbed Raymond's shoulder as she reacted. "But sure. He is cute".

"Oh! If I'm cute then you are the loveliest girl in the whole world, and the ebony fabric on your fair body is like shadows surrounding the glowing moon" Raymond's eyes sparkled with esteem and cherish towards her, like a child recognizing their favourite superhero. That wasn't a good sign for Wynne at all. Especially deeming that it has only been minutes since he and she got introduced to each other. But, inferring that he was the type of guy to give random sweet compliments to anyone, she coolly answered.

"W-Why thank you Dear. You are.....pretty yourself. I like your hair".

"Thank you, Ms Wynne. You are too nice" he blushed with a wide beam. "Yeaaaaahhhhh" Wynne internally winced but tried not to show it to not come off as rude and anguish the cute boy.

"Alright! I think that's everyone in the area. There are three more people who are left to be introduced, but other than that, I hope everything is to your liking, Wynne. Asra brought you here so you could think about joining the company" Nadia rolled a strand of her long hair around her finger.

"Wait, join you all???" Wynne asked.

"Oh my gosh, you are gonna join us??? PLEASE DO!! I would love you for that!" Raymond practically jumped on his feet with enthusiasm.

"W-Wait, but why??? Why do I have to??" Wynne struggled to justify.

"Well, why not. We all have seen you perform before, Wynne. And you would make an exceptional dancer! Also, it's very fun hanging around with everyone and dancing too, don't you think?" Portia added.

"Yeah Wynne, Pasha is right. We know you don't like being around people so much, but we would give you space when you need it. We may stick close, but we will make sure to not bother you much" Ilya gently smiled at her. She did frighten him sometimes, but Julian would be happy to have a bit of her insolence and sarcasm hovering around. Everyone would love to have that.

"I agree with Julian. You are a wonderful lady, Wynne. It would be our absolute pleasure to have a talented entertainer as you dance with us. I promise I won't talk much if that annoys you. But I want to get to know you better, Wynne. I bet you would be very fun!" Lyra playfully whacked her shoulder, only to receive a deathly grimace from the bluenette's wolf-like eyes.

"O...Oh...." Lyra cautiously procured her hand and backed a bit away from her. She wasn't dreading of her if anything. She just got more.....intimidated. She had never met a woman with such grimness flooding out of her, yet be so nimble as a twilight waft along with the gloom she hauls. Lyra felt like a little butterfly just witnessing a vicious spider open her gapes and watch it flash with yearning and malevolence, but close enough, she could see the dignity and that dwelled deep in those gazes.

And those golden orbs had apprehended her just like a tempting spider's quagmire.

Wynne was never known to miss her target anyway.

"S-Sorry....." Lyra's diamond orifices veered under and a weak rosiness escorting her cheeks.

Wynne just shut her eyes, sighed softly, and immediately gawked at Muriel who was typically tight-lipped the whole time. But she decided to inquire him too because his opinion also mattered after all. "What do you think, Big Guy? Would you be happy to have me over?" She straightforwardly asked. The huge man was taken aback for a bit, he had believed that Wynne won't bring any mind to him, and obviously, she proved him wrong. And now he had to respond to her because everyone else had their eyes on him too.

"I......." He started.

"Mhm?" Wynne waited.

"....................."

"I won't mind" that's all he said.

Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of solace and rejoiced while Muriel just reddened and pouted. He wondered what made the people so relieved when all he did was say 'yes' for the new girl to stay. But what it truly meant was that they were ahead in favour by one more vote.

Wynne snorted. "Yeah yeah, celebrate all you want, but still. I haven't agreed to this yet. So technically there is still be left to decide. Now don't get too much excited already" she stated.

"You are certainly right on that. But we are willing to wait for your final decision, Wynne. Whether positive or not" Nadia told her, and the others agreed to her, nodding and muttering to each other. "Good. I don't like rushing things. I'm glad that you understand" Wynne's lips curved into a slight smile, and everyone else in the room returned a grin. "Of course. We want you to be comfortable after all. You are our friend" Julian added. "And we promise to support ya!" Portia said. "You can speak to us if you ever have any trouble, Wynne" Lyra peered at her. "And we promise to not irritate you at all!" Raymond assured her with a bright grin on his lips.

"We......We would take care of you too....." Muriel softly smiled.

Wynne softly chuckled, shaking her head delightfully and placing her hands on Raymond and Lyra's shoulders. She gleamed at both of them, and she thanked all of them for the patience and hospitality they all gave to a newbie like her. She truly felt honoured and warmly greeted by all of them, and she felt much pleasanter than she was feeling appearing for the first time. Nadia was pleased to see how everyone welcomed Wynne. She was looking forward to the guest making herself comfortable among the partners and come to be a valued part of the small artsy gang and relish the beauty of dance and music together with everyone.

And am I missing someone important to introduce?

"So! What did I miss, lovely ladies and gentlemen?" Some other unidentified person barged in like a typical theatrical garish zealot. Just as assumed by his way of the fashionably late entry, his clothes were incredibly contemporary and vogue and his shirt were half-buttoned to expose his semi-hairy chest. The unknown man rested his elbow at the frame as his piercing emerald eyes stridden around on everyone's faces until it spotted its victim. A certain gal in black.

"Ah! Gotcha" the stranger grinned and grazed his teeth over his lower lip. He pushed himself back on his feet and walked towards his prey. His hand brushed through his curly dark locks, the hooves of his shoes made a satisfying click with every step he got closer to Wynne. He wasn't focused on anyone else other than her, his eyes glimmered under the daylight, like lush green leaves after monsoon showers.

Wynne perked up her eyebrow up. Who is this guy now, she pondered. She glanced at his shirt for a moment and noticed patterns of peacock feathers with splats of prominent blue and white matching the print. Very remarkable, she thought. But also somehow very familiar too. The design on his cloth was something she had seen somewhere before, but she couldn't recollect when exactly.

Nevertheless, the unfamiliar man wearing the familiar clothing gently took hold of her hand and locked his emeralds with her gold.

"And you might be......" She started.

"Sèbastien Slaquer at your service, mademoiselle" he fervently kissed her knuckles, nurturing the sweetness of her skin on his lips.

"Ah...Slaquer......french....Wait a minute" Wynne interrupted.

"Yeah, what's the matter? Remembered something important?" He tilted his head and looked at her, his eyes taking in the charm of her marvellous face and dusk merging with her rosy skin.

"Slaquer.....no wonder why it was sounding so weird to me.......I think I have heard this name before.....in a brand name" Wynne held her chin.

"Oh, you have? I don't know. My brand sure is well-known--"

"Wait, did you say, your brand???" Wynne gripped him. "Yes of course" he shrugged. "Hmmm.....that explains your shirt..... the peacock designs..... peacock designs???"

Wynne suddenly gasped. "You are french, aren't you?!"

"Oh, are you giving me a racist remark now?" Sèbastien knocked and chuckled at his joke. "But yes, you are right. I'm french. And so is my little brother and my cousin behind you" he gestured to both Raymond and Lyra who were currently casually conversing with each other. "Ohh those are your siblings? Alright," Wynne nodded. She wasn't surprised because the three of them did kind of resemble each other. The opaque curly hair, ivory skin, thrilling eyes.

And speaking of Raymond and Lyra, Wynne noticed how personal they were. Both were standing near one another, and Raymond never halted eye contact with Lyra, and Lyra also had her entire attention on him. They didn't seem to mind anything happening around them. They just talked, but every word they said to each other pertained only to them. They were just cousins, but Wynne was mildly amazed how they behaved like mutual siblings who loved each other to the brim.

It thawed her heart, but also made it ache as soon as she realised she doesn't have such a person whom she can call a sibling. Her mother was never there to give her a sibling.

Wynne was always alone at such times.

"Anyways, what do you call a peacock in French by the way? Maybe that would remind me" Wynne turned to the tall man. It disturbed her how he towered over her. She was fundamentally disturbed by how ALL of them towered over her.

Heh, looks like someone has taken Portia's place of being the smallest.

"Oh, Paon" he answered within a second.

"AHH! I got it! That's your fashion brand, ain't it so?" She banged her fist on her palm as soon as she ultimately understood the name she was trying to remember all the time. "Well yes, you are correct again. Wait, you mean you know my work??" He gazed at her. "Mhm. I have seen it. Peacock layouts are your trademark, along with the colours, royal blue and brine green. Your type is modern, but also have a slight tinge of French flavour, dating back to the eighteenth or nineteenth-century or so. I have even seen the blogs that talk about you, very impressive I must say" she complimented him.

"O-Oh...Why thank you for your tributes, mademoiselle. You are pretty vigilant and almost figured out my whole style. Not many people can, you know" he laughed. "Of course, no problem Mr Slaquer" Wynne giggled. She found Sèbastien relatively interesting already, even after knowing him only for instants. Not only she liked his judgment of fashion, but also how he and she shared the same passion for design.

"Oh please, call me Sèbastien. It's my upmost pleasure to meet you, Miss......."

"Wynne. Wynne Toprak" she said.

"Toprak?? You mean, Priddell Toprak??" Sèbastien asked her. "Yup. I don't use my middle name too often, actually" she mentioned. "Ohhh I am have heard about you a lot, Ms Toprak. I have witnessed your works too, but I just wasn't lucky enough to see your beautiful face until now. Lucifer's Wings, that's yours right?" He questioned.

Wynne's cheeks turned a slight pink. She always thought that she can improve her style more and more, so she never found her methods perfect. And someone just breaking it to her that they admired her works and call her beautiful on top of that turns her shy and flustered.

"I-I...Thank you. And yes, that's my brand. I started it when I was like, 15 years old or so" she replied. "Woah, now that's a young talent I see. Very terrific, Ms Toprak. And I love how you make black match every other colour of your clothing. Your mode is very diverse and comfortable for anyone. Now that's how I want fashion to be. It should be dispersible to everyone, without any discrimination. And also with being unique, but also not too bizarre, if you know what I mean" Sèbastien's eyes shot to Raymond for a second.

Wynne bobbed her head. "I agree with you. Clothes which are different but also not too much of it. We don't want to walk around looking like piñatas now, do we?" She shrugged. Sèbastien broke into a fit of laughs and he shook his head. His laugh sounded like harmony to her, she chuckling with him too.

"Also, I am guessing you work with Nadia in designing the dresses for the dancers?" she continued. "Yup. Right. I have a contract with her for that. And Raymond has one too for his band to perform in the theatre" Sèbastien rubbed his neck. "Ahh...I see......Well, my friend had invited me here to take a look, and decide whether I should join the company with all of you or not" she noted.

"Oh! So you are going to design with me too?? Like a collaboration??" He sounded pretty energetic about it. "Well, maybe. But I also am a dancer. So let's see what happens" Wynne shrugged again.

"Woah...what a gifted lady. I'll be looking forward to work with you, mademoiselle" he softly kissed her hand again. "Oh it's nothing much. Trust me, Dear. But sure, I'm anticipating too" she sadly smiled at him. She still wasn't sure if she should join or not. But seeing so many likeable people who welcomed her so sweetly, made it hard for her to refuse. But also, what worse can happen if she joins? She loved dancing, and maybe along with fashion, she can make her career in another field too.

But still, she needed a bit more time. Though her mind was already telling her to agree to the contract and sign in. But she still needed to wait. Not just yet, please.

"Ohh!! What a lovely lady in the house!" Wynne heard another adorable voice from the entrance. She glanced at the new blonde woman, her long hair as golden as daffodils and her eyes as green as polished malachite. She also noticed the dress she was wearing. A long red skirt and a white buttoned top. It was simple but pretty, along the black ghillies with distinguishing neat white socks.

"Oh hello there. Nice to meet you" Wynne turned her attention to the blonde dame, whose cheeks lightened to blush as she bashfully smiled at Wynne.

"Nice to meet you too! I'm Maura. You must be Wynne, right? Asra told me about you" she replied. "Yeah, that's me. In flesh" she snorted.

"Ah, Wynne. Maura is the one who planted all the flowers and plants in the garden. And she always knows what type of flower would suit anyone. Also, not only she is the gardener, but she is also a prudent performer of Irish stepdance. It looks very difficult to me, to be honest. But Maura always does it so effortlessly" Sèbastien added on. Maura blushed harder and timidly thanked the man for the compliment, who just patted her head with a playful wink in return.

"Oh! Now that's very sweet of you. I absolutely loved the sunflowers in the garden by the way. They are my favourite. Every other flower in the garden were beautiful too" Wynne smiled at her. "Of course! I'm glad you liked them. I love sunflowers too. They sure a happy radiant flowers, don't you think?" She glinted at Wynne. "Definitely. I love them because they remind me of my mother, that's why" Wynne sadly smiled, the fond portraits of her precious mother as her hair and eyes lustrous as the cloudless floral elegance of nature flooding into her psyche. She dearly missed her, too bad she was no more.

"Oh! That's wonderful! I'll make sure to make a bouquet of sunflowers for you once they fully blossom. You can even gift them to your mom. And tell her I said hi" Maura twinkled. Wynne was seized aback by her abrupt tenderness. People were being too much nice to her today that it seemed so alien to her. But appreciating her generosity, Wynne warmly smiled.

"Thank you, Maura. She would like it" she still couldn't believe that such kind people still exist.

"My pleasure, Wynne. This is the least I can do" she smiled back.

"Also, Irish dance, now that's very interesting. You gotta show me some moves and teach me one day" the bluenette placed her hand on her hip. "Ohh for sure! I would love to. What dance do you do? Or do you specialise in some other thing than dancing" Maura leaned her head.

"Ah! I'm usually into hip hop and ballet. I learnt a bit about belly dancing too, it's also called Raqs Sharqi in Arabic. And other than dancing, I also run my fashion brand, and that's my real profession. It's called 'Lucifer's Wings'. I still remember how I took days to come for a decent name" she facepalmed and chucked at her forenamed naivety.

"That's a very nice name! You gotta show me your works someday then. I bet they will be very very beautiful and elegant, just like you!". "O-Oh....thank you for the.....compliment, Dear. And of course, I'll show you my latest designs, if that will satisfy you" Wynne brushed back her bangs. "I am sincerely honoured, Wynne" Maura grinned at her, her hands behind her back and her cheeks pink.

"No pressure. Your welcome" she raised her shoulders. Alright, she had to admit. She had started to like Maura too. Who wouldn't? And it was funny how she presently was liking the Slaquers and Maura more than the six she already was aware of. Maybe it's the benefit of the joy of meeting new people. Maybe........

"Also, I have a small question, would you mind me asking?" Wynne blinked. "Not at all, sweetie. Ask away" the blonde replied.

"Asra said this place runs through funds" Wynne blinked again.

"But who exactly is funding you all?"

Maura wasn't the one to answer her question. And neither was Sèbastien. Or Raymond. Or Lyra. Or any of the five.

It was the one out of the six who was known to be snooty, and robust, and blond.

And a passionate pup person too.

In came the notorious devil with two of his faithful albino pair of hounds growling at everyone in the room. His garnet coat with gold trimmings and the spotless Tom Ford Customs, obviously costing so much it would make our pockets spontaneously explode, were dry cleaned and smoothed very strictly, and his hair was huddled back with shower gel, replacing the pleasant smell of vanilla in the air with a tincture of mint.

"How are you all losers? You missed me?" The man removed his Gucci glasses and straightened his silky black gloves on his hands as he looked down at everyone.

"Tch, not him again" Wynne heard Sèbastien scoff and cross his arms. He looked irritated, and so did Maura, but she didn't have any frown on her face like him. She just looked..... unsettled. Meanwhile, others in the room were feeling as uncomfortable as both of them too. Muriel was looking away, Portia began to mind her business, Julian hid behind his papers, Lyra and Raymond tried to ignore the man and Nadia just sighed tiredly and rubbed her temples to give some comfort from the headache she just got. Possibly because of the new blond who entered.

"Hello Lucio" Nadia was the one who bothered to greet him, and she didn't look like she had a choice.

"Hello, Noddy! So how are my wife and her useless crew doing?" He cocked.

"Ex-wife, for your information. And they all are doing better than you, anyway" she scowled.

"Ah, still defending them huh? You do know this won't stop me" he smirked and kept his hand on his hip. Nadia closed her eyes, breathing calmly. "I don't care if you stop or not, but you are wrong. You always will be. My crew will always be committed and hard-working. And they all mean a lot to me no matter what bad you say about them"

Nadia's words effectively dissolved the tension in the room. Wynne just kept up at her place, listening to everything. She wasn't stunned to find him here. If her five friends would be here, then so would he.

The surprising fact was that she preferred the blondie over everyone else due to their previous relations and memories. It may sound unbelievable, but Wynne knew Lucio more than anyone, and it probably was the same with Lucio too, that he knew Wynne more than he knew anyone else. She was just a kid she met the guy when he was younger than today. And it has been two decades since, yet they kept in touch and their love never deteriorated.

Maybe.....maybe Wynne did have someone to call a sibling.

"So good to see you here, Lulu" she sounded pleasantly happy. That adds to another reason for joining the company.

"Wait- WYNNE?!!" The man was startled, finding his close friend at a place he least expected to. His lips widened to a grin and he forgot about everything, only to dash to the lady and tackle her in the biggest hug he can ever lend. Wynne laughed, and simply held his back, embracing his nostalgic warmth and scent close to herself, remembering every time they spent together merrily.

Sèbastien was dumbfounded, his mouth agape. Maura too was a bit astonished, that a sophisticated lady like her would be friends with such a flamboyant and hyperactive person. Well, she didn't judge it. Opposites do attract, you know. Maybe that was the case here. Maybe......

"What...What are you doing here??? I didn't know you were coming for a visit. Noddy never tells me anything" Lucio implored, fretting at the last sentence. "Well, it was more like a surprise visit. Nadia didn't know, so don't blame her" she replied. "Arrgh, fine. If you are saying it, then I'll gladly listen" he winked at her."Good" she cracked a tiny smile, snickering in the middle, and he joined her with the laughs.

"Now now, do you work here too??" She asked as she stopped.

"Work?! No!! I don't work with these idiots. THEY, work for me" his chest surged like a roasted turkey's bust.

"Oh yeah???" She raised her eyebrow, her eyes darting to Sèbastien. He shook his head, denying Lucio's statement. He then crossed his arms, and behind Lucio's back started mocking him by making his hand talk like Lucio and mouthed the gibberish with his eyes rolled up.

Wynne almost got caught by wheezing and cackling like a witch. Luckily her convenient hand covered it up.

"--And that's how I brought them all here. I am their saviour, Wynne. I raised them from the streets and gave them homes and look how they repay me. Not even a decent formal greeting!!" He bragged. Wynne already knew that the 'saving' part was not true no matter how fondly she thought of him, but she still played along to not dishearten her best friend.

"I understand, Monty. They are pretty tired too, you know. You can excuse them for that" she augmented, perfectly roleplaying.

"Excuuuuuse me?!! I work for hours at the meeting of the cooperations and look at me!! Not even a sweat on my brow. Oh, come on!! Are you all that lazy??? You are such losers for god's sake UGHH" Lucio hysterically placed his hand on his hip and cited them all. None of them were diverted, just as predicted. But Lucio was just pouting as always, and Wynne was feeling hotter and also sheepish. Were the two things even proportional?? She imagined so.

"U-Uhhh" she slowly walked to him and carefully placed her hand on his shoulder. She clasped her fingers around his joint and sighed peacefully.

"Hey...Lulu. I know you are worried about them and thinking that they are not....... trying harder, but they all deserve a break, you know. They all are like you after all. You all are humans, you need rest. You need fresh air"

She stopped and breathed a bit.

"And you know what you and your mates want??" She asked him, with a small beam of mischief on her lips.

"Huh??? What do I need??" He raised her eyebrow at her. She then grinned and booped his nose.

"You need ice cream, Silly! Ice cream! Who doesn't want a sweet cold treat on such a hot day hmm?? Come on all!! Let's have ice cream outside! I'm sure Asra can cover us up on that, free of charge" the bluenette invited everyone over, melting the potent tension just like ice cream under the giant ball of burning gas, leaving sweetness and chill dripping all over.

Everyone agreed to Wynne and relaxed from Lucio's outburst. They were finally keen to take a break they deserve and make their way through the other side at the exit. Lucio and his pets already ran to where they would most probably find the ice cream guy of the house, while everyone else silently thanked the blue lady for preventing Lucio to turn things worse. Some shook her hand, some gave her a quick hug and a bright smile, while some gave her thankful glances. She welcomed all of them with a simple nod, happy to help of course.

"You did great, Wynne. Thanks for shutting that asshole up" Sèbastien patted her head before moving out, shoving his hands in his pockets and whistling away a loud ballad. Maura followed Sèbastien, but she stopped to gently shake Wynne's hand and give her one of her confectionary smiles, also thanking her for saving her from the virago.

"It was nice to meet you again, see you soon" and she went away, her skirt fluttering with the inside wind, as the bluenette saw her walking.

"Hey...that was considerate of you, stopping Lucio from flaring on all of us. I never liked him screaming at anyone, but thanks to you, now I can finally breathe fresh air" Lyra humoured and Wynne chuckled with her. "No problem, Lyra. Lucio and I have been together since my childhood. He had been like this since his college days. So it's not shocking that he is still like this. I honestly love it" she laughed.

"That's great, even for him. I'm happy that you have someone close to you" she gladly smiled. "Yeah, I am happy too. You also have awesome siblings, take care of them just like they take care of you, okay?" Wynne leaned on her weight. "Ah! Of course! Ray Ray is my closest confidant. We are just cousins, but I treat him as my brother. Sebby is also very sweet to me, but he is one thirsty man for gossip and he often turns......scandalous" Lyra whispered the last thing to her.

"But I'm really glad they are here for me, and I'll be there for them too! I'll protect them at all costs!!" Lyra puffed her cheeks with resolution and adherence. Her adorable reaction made the goth lady guffaw from amuse. She held her stomach, one of her hands fanning her face and gashes of laughter accumulated at the nook of her eyes.

Watching her laugh was like watching a thunderous hurricane reflecting a widespread rainbow, or like a broken glass casting an bewitching silhouette.

"You are such a sweetheart. Keep it up like that" Wynne patted her shoulder out of appreciation. Lyra shied a little, she found the other lady's laugh so mellifluous as a psalm's ensemble. She creased a ringlet behind her ear and ogled fondly at the shorter woman.

"I am trying my best, Wynne" she timidly replied to her. "I know, Dear. I know" she closed her eyes and exhaled. She unfolded them again, only to glimpse back into her sapphire watches. Lyra was so captivated by her that her heart skipped a beat when she observed the golden blaze and crystal frost inside her. It was enthralling.

"Also, may I ask for a favour?" Wynne gently held Lyra's chin and poked it up her lips. She didn't even realise that her mouth was open in awe that she blinked rapidly, and stammered a bit, her face flickering to an apple glow. Soon she regained her composure and answered back to her, not making her wait for long.

"Yeah?? What's the matter?"

Wynne stayed silent for a bit.

"......................."

".............................."

".................."

"......................................................"

"Can you show me the contract papers? I gotta sign up"

The clock strikes at 11, and so does the cap of Wynne's pen. Finally, she wrote her name on the paper and learned to become one of their family. She was having fun and was impatient for her first performance.

Well.....maybe Asra did the right thing annoying her huh. Bless him for that, and everyone else of the Vesuvian Dance Company.

Now let the extravaganza begin!

10 notes · View notes

brideofcthulhu10 · 4 years

Text

The Lost Boys Find Out Their Fem!S/O is Pregnant [4/4]

SUBJECT WARNING: PHYSICAL AGRESSION, SEXUAL THEMES AND A WHOLE LOT OF SWEARING. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Alrighty then, my lovely fang babes! Here we are, we have the last of the first edition of the pregnancy saga! Worry not, dearest readers, for there is hope! I plan on doing a separate series about going through the pregnancy, and maybe even going through the childbirth with how the boys are as new dads. Let me know in the comments if you'd like to see more, and by tomorrow night we'll have a whole new set to love!

It was such a blast writing Paul's, I'm not gonna lie I got lost in the magic! We have a cute little character cameo for all you 80s movie nerds, lemme know if you can figure out what it is! So, without any more delays; here he is. The gorgeous, the goofy, the one, the only:

PAUL

Today had been an unexpected challenge. You barely got through your shift at the record store, every time you were in light it made you dizzy. Hangovers had nothing on this! Did you drink too much the night before? No, now that you thought about it any attempts to drink had you hugging a toilet. Not to mention your period was late as hell! Well, not the cramps, go figure. Just no blood. None at all.

You never let on to your beau, Paul, though. The party boy vampire would become overly worried if you told him you were sick, and you weren't about to spoil a good time with a bit of nausea. So here you were, stumbling about the day into the late afternoon absolutely miserable. Your manager Iona offered you some crackers and ginger ale during your lunch break. No dice, within an hour you were running to the bathroom again.

"Gosh hon, I dunno what ta tell ya. Maybe you ate something nasty, I told you that boardwalk food was fishy," Iona sighed, poking at her own lunch with a fork. Currently your coworker Andie was watching the front until you were feeling better.

"Kill me now, Iona," you groaned, chin resting on the table with your arms laid over your head. Then there was a smell. The greatest, most flavorful, mouthwatering scent you've ever experienced. Like a honey baked ham and a New York sirloin had a glorious new baby drizzled in ecstasy. Glancing over, your stomach growled at whatever it could be. If this were a cartoon you'd be flying to what it was.

Oddly enough, it was coming from Iona. Well, whatever black stuff was in her little plastic tupperware dish. Who cares what it was, it smelled incredible.

"Hey uh..," you asked, leaning over towards the sticky, mysterious delicacy calling your name. "You wouldn't mind if I had a bite, would ya?"

"You sure, hon? This isn't exactly your average dish, it's kinda weird," she tried to explain. God you couldn't take your eyes off it! Finally, your merciful manager pushed it your way, and you couldn't resist any longer.

"I don't even care, this is the first thing in the past two days that hasn't made me nauseous," you muffled between cosmic bites.

Oh shit, this was heaven! It had to be some sort of meat, it reminded her of a nice spicy kielbasa, a slow roasted brisket, every second it changed to some new world of food you had never tried. What it was didn't matter by this point.

"Wooow. I've never met someone who liked black pudding that much."

Pudding? "I thought it was meat or something? It doesn't taste anything like pudding," you insisted, polishing off the very last specs of it. "Got any more?"

"No, no, not like chocolate pudding or stuff like that, kiddo. black pudding. It's this dish from the UK my new boyfriend made me. It's congealed pig's and cow blood mixed with spices."

You made a face. Blood? Like, blood blood? The cow equivalent of what Paul drank on a daily basis? Yet this was the first time you didn't puke, in fact, you kinda wanted more. Even knowing what is was made of.. for some reason you craved more. Meanwhile Iona continued to talk on and on, until one phrase caught your ears. "Yea, ya know my mom was so into for the longest time. Said she craved it her whole pregnancy, I never got a taste for it honestly."

A single thought popped into your head. A dangerous, foreboding thought that your intuition said was very much a possibility. In a flash you jumped up, nearly slamming your hands on the table. "I gotta go. Oh shit, I gotta go! I'll be right back, I swear, I'm so sorry, I swear to god I'll be right back," you shouted as you bolted out of the store.

"Wait what-?!"

You'd make it up to her once you got back. You had to know! You had to be sure..! Please just let it be paranoia! Please let it be anything, anything at all besides what you thought it was!

Once you reached the nearest CVS you made a B-line to the women's health section. Your hair clung to your face, your lungs stung like crazy but all you could think about was getting answers. And cue the disapproving glare of some old bat picking out a box of pads. Alright being 17 in front of the pregnancy tests looked bad. You weren't just a high schooler, you looked it too. "What're you looking at, " you snarl. Immediately she clutched her pearls, startled by this abrasive youngin' in no mood for dirty looks. God why'd there have to be so many options? Pink boxes, purple ones, bright yellow insisting it worked the fastest. The heavy fluorescent lights were no help at all, it made your head spin. You had no time for this crap. In a sweeping motion you grabbed three different brands and threw them into your basket, all you needed was….where was your wallet? Shit... Glancing around you checked for any nearby cameras or staff. Karma be damned, it was an emergency! Five finger discount it was.

Once again you made a mad dash back to the record store as the sun finally set. All three boxes were crumpled in your hand, your boots running so fast it you hit a rock that'd be it.

But getting back to the record store was your best bet. You weren't about to pee in some dirty, old, nasty pharmacy bathroo- oh fuck. There was something that finally slowed your steps, nearly making you trip in the process. Four bikes parked right outside. Three of which were occupied by by Dwayne, David and Marko all talking amongst themselves.

Shiiiit, shit, shit! All you could do was swear repeatedly. Before they could spot you, you practically dove into the alleyway behind the store, rapidly disabling the alarm. If that went off it'd be a dead giveaway. Quickly you looked left and right before you slammed the door shut behind you still trying to catch air.

But there, right past the door to the employees lounge, over by the counter you could see a mass of blonde hair chatting away with Iona about Led Zeppelin's best album to date. Paul, gorgeous as every, laughing. It made your heart flutter, but then it sank. What if it was a-... He was never the type to run away from a challenge. But then again, a kid wasn't a challenge, it was a massive ordeal. It would take a huge chunk of his life- well, afterlife! Boozing and cruising would be switched out with drowsy days and busy nights. You weren't sure if you wanted him to know if you were, it would take all that from him. Unfortunately, he must've smelled you or sonething, because immediately he turned around like a puppy being called.

"Babe," he cheered with delight, rushing over to hug you. Rather squeeze you by your hips and lift you four feet off the ground. Quickly you stuffed the skinny boxes into your back pocket, now smushed up against his chest. "Where were you? Ion's said you just bolted mid-shift, we were worried sick! Well, I mean, I was more worried though, cuz I can't stand you bein' gone, kitten."

"Well, yeah uh, I forgot something I had to get at the store, and I forgot what time I got off," you hesitated, still antsy to escape to the bathroom. Truthfully you didn't actually want to, you had to! If you could, you'd just kiss him and ride off into the night to raise some hell like you always did. But this was too big to ignore.

Paul raised a brow. You weren't known for being this jumpy. You wouldn't look him in the eyes, they just kept darting towards the bathroom. Boy, you really did look sick, though. Pale, almost greenish with dark circles under your eyes. You even felt colder than usual. "Am I uh, interrupting something, babe?"

You managed to work out if his arms, giggling nervously. "Actually I-I had some of Iona's lunch earlier, and I just, gotta- be right back!"

With that, you bolted into the bathroom and slammed the door behind you. Again, weird. Paul just shrugged, maybe you had some bad Mexican.

Iona wasn't convinced. Little miss jumpy-pants skipping out on her, you owed her an explanation. While Paul perused the albums she sunk over to the bathroom, rapidly tapping on the door. "Y/N! Psst! You good in there, hon?"

You were most certainly NOT good! Your hand shook, the third test finally finished. Not like it mattered! They all said the same thing. Every fucking one of them.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

No, no, no!

"Shit," you hissed. "Shit! Oh shit, oh fuck! Fuck-fuckity shit fuck fuck! Dammit." That's all you could do! You swore over, and over, and over, rapidly kicking the wall in front of you. Stupid pink plus! Why? Why did it have to be a plus?? Immediately you threw it in the trash and scooped up the other two. Maybe they were all flukes? Maybe only a doctor could tell you! You had to get home. Like now. Right now, you just had to rush home, make an appointment at the doctors, maybe hide in shame for a few days just until you could figure out what the hell to do with all this! Once again you wedged the tests in your back pocket and nearly tripped, cracking open the door to face your boss. "Iona, I gotta get home."

"Seriously, Y/N?? Why? What is with you?"

"Please, I swear I will make it up to you, I'll take a double shift, I'll wash your damn car-"

"Oh no, nuh-uh. Not until you tell me why you're being such a spaz," she practically shouted in a hissing whisper, absolutely exasperated. You teens and your drama, when she always said she wanted to fell young again this is NOT what she meant!

"Listen i-... iyay amyay egnantpray," you whispered. Pig latin. It was a little code you two usually reserved for secrets. Well, that and talking smack about snotty customers. But wow was this a big ol' secret.

Iona covered her mouth. Oh, you little idiot! You poor little idiot. Looking over at the unsuspecting boyfriend she sighed, looking you in the eyes. She wanted to just tell you to come clean to your man. The boy hung around you constantly, you two were the ultimate it-couple, there wasn't even sparks it was like watching supernovas. Something this big.. it shouldn't be left in the dark!

But that pitiful expression on your face just begged her to keep quiet, and frankly it wasn't her place to tell you what to do- well, at least in this regard. "Alright, alright. This saturday you're taking my night time shift, there's a big concert I wanna go to. And you gotta wax my car, it's gettin' nasty. And you better write the best damn apology note in the history of apology notes, sweetie. This is huge, you better come clean to him eventually, or I'll kick your little butt you hear me?"

"Yes. Absolutely, fine, deal. Just please, please keep him busy, I'm not ready to tell him," you whined, clutching the door. Frankly it sounded like a piss poor plan, but it couldn't be helped, not right now at least. You didn't have the strength to confront the situation head on, you were barely keeping it together. You wanted to cry all over, jump into his arms and come clean now, but this was neither the time or place.

As soon as Iona went to go over to Paul you stuffed the tests into your purse and bolted out the back door, only this time stealth was not on your side. Right at the mouth of the alleyway, just as you were about to be home free- you ran smack dab into a particularly lithe blonde that felt like a brick wall. You went flying onto the ground, your purse crashing onto concrete with a hundred pieces of your privacy going every direction. In a panic you began to rapidly stuff it all back, barely able to hide the first two tests as you threw some half baked apology Marko's way. Honestly he deserved a better one than that, but you were too frazzled to be fair at the moment.

"Oh shit, Y/N," Marko exclaimed, immediately kneeling down to help you gather the scattered remains of your purse. "Sorry, I didn't even see you, I was coming back for a smoke. Big Ed is such a douche, can you believe theres no smoking on the-..." His words trailed off, and you shortly saw why. Grasped between his pointer finger and thumb was the little pink strip, and a look of complete disbelief. All you could do was snatch it from him, a heavy moment of silence magically muffling the wild noise and shouts of the busy boardwalk.

"Do...D-Don't worry about it. Look, I gotta get home, I'll see you arou-," you started, trying to jump up, maybe catch him off guard and make a run for it. Not this time.

You hadn't even noticed he grabbed your wrist, it was such a blur. He stayed silent, standing up and looking right into your eyes with hidden malcontent. You swore if you answered wrong this mischievous cat would tear your throat out. After all, you were his best friend's girl. If you did anything, ANYTHING, to hurt him... Well, let's just say a pregnancy would be the least of your worries. "Why are you running, Y/N? What the hell is this thing," he asked quietly, eyes flickering between red and blue. "Did you…?"

"Oh don't fuckin' even," You snapped, smacking his arm, yanking your hand out of his grasp. "Of course not! You butt! God, are you serious? What do you take me for- No! I- fuck I just- no!" You kick the tin trash can beside you, watching a plethora of trash fly into the air. "I am freaking out! Of course it's Paul's. Oh fucking god, it's Paul's and I don't know what to do!"

Marko's expression softened, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I didn't mean to make it sound like that, Y/N. Paul's my friend, I just had to be sure you weren't sneaking around, you know?"

You sighed, pushing back your mess of a hair with misty eyes. This was perfect, a real big screw up from start to finish. All you could do was look over at Marko with pleading eyes. "You can't tell him yet. Please, just please please PLEASE, Marko, don't tell Paul yet!"

"Tell me what, babe?"

Shit. Shit on a stick. You looked behind to see Paul halfway out the back door with a look of concern, one that he rarely carried. You and your dumb mouth, go figure.

The blonde pushed through and let the door close behind him, looking over at his best bud standing alone with his girlfriend who was begging him to keep something secret, from him no less.

"Marko?"

"Nah, nah, don't look at me man, this is all on you guys," he sighed, hands up in a shielding motion. "Good luck buddy. Gotta go, Y/N." with that the young vampire excused himself from this melting pot of drama, hands stuffed in his pockets.

You just stood there, keeping the little strip tightly grasped behind your back. Paul was silent, but glancing at his hands you saw they were balled so tight his knuckles were white. "P-paul…," you hesitated, biting down on your bottom lip. "I should really… get home.."

Paul only raised a brow, glancing at your arms still tucked behind you. This wasn't like you to hide from him, and that alone frightened him. Nothing had ever frightened him before. And he didn't like the taste of it one bit. "What's behind your back, babe?"

"What?"

Again his spoke, this time his voice lowered into a low growl. "What... do you have... behind your back, babe?" The way he said it was so firm, it made you shake a little. You didn't like stern Paul. They way he hissed the word "babe", practically spoken through clenched teeth

Your throat ached, eyes darting across the ground struggling to think up a good excuse. Anything. A book, your purse, a surprise for him! Anything!

"N-nothing." Apparently, you failed to find any excuses. Great.

Paul's knuckles began to crack, jumping forward to try and snatch it from behind you. When you dodged him, he grew even more furious. You both began to struggle, pushing him away, insisting he just stop and let you leave. But every attempt to reject him only upset him further. Why were you hiding things from him?! How could you just ditch him at the record store when he was worried sick about you??

The struggle built up until finally he had enough. His eyes turned white with rings of fire, brow looming heavily over his eyes and fangs jutting out where his incisors once were. In a flash he grabbed you by you wrists, pinning you so hard to the wall it shook. You still tried to struggle. Thrash, kick, squirm! Steel wished it could be so strong, your muscles ached. This probably wasn't even his full strength, but it dwarfed you in comparison. This terrifying side of Paul you had certainly seen before, but never had you been on the receiving end. It was in all sense of the word, predatorial. He'd never try to kill you, but you still felt that horror build up inside. Rapid, sharp breaths made your chest heave, too afraid to look up at those red eyes still fixated on whatever you kept hidden from him. He continued to pry your stubborn fingers open, ignoring your shaking whimpers. He squoze your wrist, the tendons aching and contracting until your fingertips began to lift up. Any resistance was pretty much useless at this point, but dammit you still tried everything to worm out of his grip. But he had finally had it, you weren't gonna be keeping secrets from him. Now your last finger was pushed off, and he could see what was so damn important that you physically fought him to keep it secret. It was almost slow motion the way the strip spun to the ground, clattering down and landing beside his mud caked boots. He froze, slowly looking down at it. That's it? That's all you-...

You could barely read his face, so many different emotions flashing across it all at once. Occasionally he'd look back up at you, then back down at it. To the point you almost got annoyed that you were still being stuck to a wall while the reality set in. After all, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know what that was, just put you down already!

Paul looked at you still pinned beneath him, horrified at how he lost his temper and immediately released you. Still rubbing away the pain across your wrists, you watched him pick it up. A wave of guilt swarmed your body, you didn't know whether to hug him or punt him in the chest.

Hell, a massive tidal wave of guilt overflowed him too. It'd been such a long time since he got that angry.. but worst of all he'd never been like that with you. Never grabbed you so forcefully and ignored your pleas, it was a dark side of him he never wanted to display in front of you. Glancing at the little pink plus at the end of the stick, his mind swirled with a plethora of questions. But slowly he stood up, looking down at you still really trying to process everything that had happened in the past few minutes. "I don't… I don't understand.."

"You- You are such an ass," you shouted out of nowhere, enough that it made him jump. There you were. That's the fiery girl he knew, not the one he exactly wanted to be on the opposing side of at the moment, though.

Paul wasn't surprised you were pissed, but he definitely didn't expect you to start punching his arm. Again. Then again, and again you just kept hiting his arms, his chest, pushing and crying, you were so mad you wanted to chuck him in the ocean! It didn't really hurt that much, but he felt awful he drove you to that point.

Tears blurred your vision as you lashed out on him. All you could do was yell names between sobs, even whack him with your purse. "Paul, you absolute jerk! Butt! Jackass! You smarmy, half wit, blood-sucking tool! You said you were packing blanks, you absolute liar! I was gonna tell yo-! I mean, I know I shouldn't have run-! But you just couldn't wait- and then Marko- and you! You ! Jerk ! Butthead !"

"Hey, ow! Ow! Ow, dammit! I know, I know I went to far-ow not the hair dammit," he demanded, grabbing your arms before you could lay another mighty blow. "Babe! Babe, stop! I thought I was! I swear I didn't know- I-..I never thought that I could get you...." His hands slowly released your shoulders, moving to your hips. "I'm so sorry, baby. I swear, I didn't know.. I'm so sorry."

The way his voice softened only made you want to cry more. This whole day was a mess. You didn't mean to try and run.. You never should've tried to in the first place. God, you were so tired. All this running around, all this secrecy, the fighting, it was exhausting. Paul was the last person you wanted to fight. Sure you had spats and a few heated arguments. Every couple did, even vampires. But this, it was just so.m draining. With a firm thud you plopped your forehead on his sternum, your fingers tightly clinging to the upper sleeves of his jacket. "Wh-what am I supposed to do-… what are we supposed to do now..?"

Paul pondered his options with a solemn face, but there was only one that made him happy. Only one that sat right in his heart. What else could he possibly do, there was only ever going to be one answer even if you told him right away. Most of all, he couldn't stand the sorrow in your eyes. A frown never suited such a beautiful face. He never expected there to be anything to come from your heavy sexcapades, it never seemed like there was any risks in it. He'd never seen a vampire munchkin, least of all he'd never even heard of a vamp conceiving with a human. All he knew now is you, crying in his arms, terrified of what you were carrying. What it could mean. In that moment, he steeled his resolve and came to a final decision.

Silently he tilted your chin up, using his thumb to brush away all those tears staining your cheeks. Those blue eyes, you could get lost in them. Swallowed up by the sea. It wasn't hard to read his mind when he held onto your hip with one hand, while the other that pushed away salty droplets now cupped your cheek. Within moments you crashed your mouth into his, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

Warm. A surge of heat filled your body. It was the first time you felt truly alive all day. You could feel your chest heave against his, you didn't want any space between the two of you and only pressed tighter until there wasn't anything left. Each kiss gave momentary breath before you dove in for more. Neither of you could stop. You didn't want to pull away, not even for a split second. The way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way he touched you, the way he felt beneath your fingers; it made your head spin. His hands began to wander, you clutched at anything you could get a hold of. Your body burned, so sweet and long. In those moments the world stopped, it just melted away in streams of light. No one was there but you two.

It was over too soon, both of you rapidly panting for breath still intertwined. Oh, how you could stare into his eyes forever.

That frown was long gone, replaced by a tender smile. The one he had come to cherish. Paul chuckled softly, breathlessly nuzzling against your collar bone. Slowly he leaned in close to your ear, his disheveled blonde hair brushing up against your cheeks. Lips trailed up flesh, reavhing just beneath your ear. And then you heard those three forbidden words. Such sweet, tender words, you hadn't expected him to say. Although he whispered them so softly they might have gotten lost in the wind, to you they were as clear as the moon on a cloudless night.

"Y/N.... I love you."

It made your heart throb, you thought you might even faint. A lifetime of struggles led up to this beautiful moment. You never expected it to be a half-undressed heavy make out session with your vampire lover, the father of your unborn spawn, in the back alley of a record store on the Santa Carla Boardwalk. But here you were, nestled between him and an old brick wall. Paul loved you, he had said it, he finally said those words that could destroy any doubt you had. And more than anything in the whole wide world, you knew once and for all, you loved Paul.

134 notes · View notes

qilwashere · 3 years

Text

Kenma Kozume

"...Which is why PlayStation is better than Xbox." You conclude your argument to Kenma, your best friend and gaming buddy.

You're both in his room, supposed to be studying but he got bored and decided to start a game of Animal Crossing. You glance over at him to make sure he's listening, and notice that he has, yet again, changed his position to laying with his legs against the wall and his back flat against the floor, holding his new Switch directly in front of his eyes with skinny arms.

“Mhm," he mumbles, not really engaging in conversation but still acknowledging that you're speaking to him. You're used to it though, he's never been the talkative type.

From the computer chair you're sitting in, you scoot slowly across the floor to see what he's so interested in on that tiny screen he stares at for so long. You know he notices you but he does nothing in response, so you climb out of the chair and crawl next to him, mimicking his position and trying to get a good look at his game. He shifts it ever so slightly so that you can see better, and you smile to yourself but quickly cover it up.

"Whatcha doin'?" You ask casually, since although you do occasionally play with him, you're still very clueless about how to really play Animal Crossing, or any game for that matter.

"Catching fish," he mumbles in reply. You stare at the screen and wonder what could be so interesting about casting a line and reeling it back in with the click of a button. He doesn't seem willing to elaborate, so you drop it and just listen to the relaxing music coming from the device.

Before you know it, it's getting dark out and you have to head home. You pack up your bag, organize the very few notes you took at his house and tell him bye. He grunts in response, his eyes glued to the screen. You look down sheepishly and smile at him again before stepping outside of his room, skipping down the stairs and jogging out the door, towards your home.

As soon as you get in your room and flop on your bed, you pull your phone out and see if there are any texts.

New message from: Kenma Kozume

Your heart skips a beat, since he never, ever texts you first unless it's super urgent. Your thumb hovers over the notification, trembling, before you finally press it and read the text:

Kenma: You left your pen

You sigh through your nose, cursing yourself silently for thinking it would be something romantic, or at least a conversation starter.

Y/N: Ah, haha. That's alright, give it to me at school tomorrow

You throw your phone on the bed and bury your head in your pillow. Suddenly your phone pings, and you check it again to find - much to your surprise - a message from Kenma.

Kenma: You could come get it now

You're shocked at that six word phrase, but try to keep yourself civilized whole you carefully type:

Y/N: Well I mean it's getting late... I'd hate to bother you haha

Y/N: Really, I could just get it at school tomorrow

Your heart pounds in your chest. You wait for his response and wonder why you're getting so worked up over this. Your phone flashes again and you lunge for it:

Kenma: Just... Come get it

Kenma: please

You were trying to keep your excitement down but now it all came bubbling up in a loud squeal. You cover your mouth foolishly and think hard about what to say. You obviously can't be too eager, that would make it awkward. You finally decide to reply with:

Y/N: Okay, but only because you said the magic word. Be there in a few

You fist bump the air and throw on your jacket. It's freezing.. You never got a chance to change out of your school clothes, and the leggings aren't doing much to protect you from the cold. Pulling your jacket closer around you, you pick up the pace and jog briskly down the block to Kenma's.

Once you arrive at the front door, you realize his parents are going to question why you're returning to their house so late. Butterflies seem to be running into the walls of your stomach, but they all fade away when...

Kenma opens the door, his blond and black hair messed up and his eyes looking down, refusing to make eye contact.

“H-hey--" you start, but he interrupts you."It's cold out here. You should have something warm on. I'll get you something to wear on your way back." You blush and nod at the gesture, but hope he thinks it's from the cold.

He motions for you to come in, and the breeze blows the door shut behind you. Your hands fidget without you telling them to as you mumble, "So, my pen..." You trail off, looking at your feet.

“It's upstairs."

"Oh. Do you want to bring it down or..."

"No." His face seems to go red but you think you're imagining it.

"I-- Well-- U-um, okay. I can... I can go up and get it if you'd like.."

"Come on." He goes to take your hand but hesitates and pulls his own back, leading the way up the steps.

You follow, dragging your hand along the dark oak banister and skipping the steps. Walking up you feel your fingers scrape over uneven pieces of wood multiple times. Once you reach his room and scan the desk over once or twice, you can't find your pen and wonder if Kenma had just placed it somewhere else.

Out of nowhere he says, "I lied. I don't have your pen." You look straight up and your eyes fix on his, his hazel irises engulfing you, taking you into a world of their own.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not good at expressing my feelings too much or too often but I want you to know I'm here for you, and I care. I know I tend to focus more on a screen than on you but... But I really do love looking at you. I love the way you seem so curious about the things I play, and the way you intertwine your fingers when you're nervous."

He takes a moment to let that sink in, or maybe he was thinking of what to say next.

"I'm sorry for making it seem like I don't enjoy being with you..." He pauses, running his fingers through the black part of his hair and trying to find the right words, "but honestly, knowing that you're right across the room, knowing that you're here for me, it's the best feeling in the world."

You feel yourself go beet red. Your eyes are wide, staring right at him, and as you drown in those bright brown abysses, you know he means it.

"I love you. Don't... I love you, okay? Don't forget."

You nod quickly, fumbling with your words, and try to get out "I love you, too" but just ends up sounding like a series of whines and stutters.

He smiles at you and looks down as he tiptoes over to his closet. He emerges with a thick coat, probably too big for him, let alone you, and tosses it your direction. You catch it easily and struggle to find the armholes. The sleeves are far too long for your arms, and the end is almost long enough for you to trip over. He grins at you again and stands by his door, shifting from foot to foot.

You change your mind, run back and leap into his arms, taking him by surprise. He's shocked for a second but relaxes and hugs back quickly, and you pull away, blushing harder than you thought possible. "Don't forget," he whispers in your ear.

On the walk home, you can't get Kenma Kozume off of your mind. That boy is the only thing you can think about for the whole day. You lay out on your bedsheets for the second time today and pull out your phone again.

New message from: Kenma Kozume

You giggle to yourself and open the text.

Kenma: see you tomorrow

Kenma: Don't-

Y/N: I know, don't forget

Y/N: I... I love you too

Y/N: And don't you forget either

|~Fin~|

Ok this was bad bc it’s my first one pls don’t attack me

#kenma #kenma x reader #kenma x fem!reader #i need serious help

22 notes · View notes

urujiako · 3 years

Note

hey jia this ask is going to be really long but i just want to tell you that i am here for you no matter what, even though i'm just a friend on the internet- hearing what you've said breaks my heart. i can't say i know exactly how you feel because i'm not you and i will never be in that exact situation, but i will say that i've walked through some rough patches in life before as well, and i want you to know that in the end, there is clarity; and in the end, things will be okay.

it's easy to find ourselves in difficult situations. that's how life is, i guess; one moment we are full of joy and feel as if we're living our best life, the next moment it seems as if everything can come crashing down all at once. and sometimes it's very, very hard to understand why we get stuck in situations that are seemingly impossible to get out of; sometimes it's difficult to wrap our heads around why we, out of all people, we who try our best to be kind and loving, have to experience the heart-wrenching pains of life.

and i just want you to know you're not alone. you are loved, even if it may not be the kind of love that is ideal to feel in these kind of situations. you're loved by me, and all of us here who appreciate you so, so much. i say this truthfully and honestly that you are one of the friendliest people i've met online and irl combined; the first time i saw you in my notifications i was overjoyed because i'd seen how you interacted with my other mutuals, and you were so full of love and i instantly felt comfortable.

but your compassion and care for the people around you is evident, whether it be us or those you know in real life. and i know how difficult it can be when you feel as if the emotions (and possibly future) of someone you care about is in your hands, it can feel like a heavy burden, even if that's not how we want it to feel- but it's okay, it's okay to acknowledge that. and it's okay to take care of yourself, and leave space for you, because at the end of the day you are the most important, you should be the most important. and even though it sounds self-centered, we can only care for others when we care about ourselves first. it's okay to not always be positive and radiating energy to everyone, because sometimes you need to be cared for too. you deserve just as much as you give.

i know it's a lot harder said than done. but know that pain is always temporary, and there is always relief to be found, there is always happiness along the way. and it's okay to feel down, it's okay to feel lost sometimes.

and i know this isn't what comforts everyone, but perhaps knowing you're christian i'll leave you with something that often guides me and gives me peace.

God will guide you through life, even when you feel as if you're unable to escape. He will never put you in a situation which you cannot handle. and maybe the way of "handling" the situation is out of your comfort zone, maybe the experiences you go through will hurt. sometimes people and things come and go in our lives for reasons we may never fully understand until we look back on them in hindsight. inevitably, we will go through difficulties in life that change us, and we won't know at first whether it's for better or for worse. but either way, they shape who we are, and i don't think that you should ever be ashamed of who you are. because you're wonderful. and believe in yourself; even if you may feel unfit to "suit" a certain role, whether it be in someone else's life or in your own, just know that you are worthy, and you are strong.

and know that everything will be okay.

i hope the troubles ease soon, and that aside from all the loving and beautiful humans on this earth, God will always love you, too, and he is always watching over you.

sarah.

(this is a bit long, so full msg under the cut!)

this post made me so unbelievably happy. you should have seen the smile on my face TuT genuinely cried, this was such a sweet ask! i love you so much – thank you for making my day a little brighter!

firstly; yes. i'm here for you too, my love! my dms are always open when you want to talk. <3

secondly; i love that. there will be clarity – this whole phrase is just so comforting :") this is true, everything will work out for the best one day. it may not be today, nor tomorrow, nor next week – it'll happen one day.

thirdly; yeah, def! life fluctuates so much its really disappointing but change is the only constant ig haish. even if it is really painful at times. comfort zones are called comfort zones for a reason :""")

fourth; sarah, this part just made me cry. i love you so much. this was genuinely what i hoped this blog would be – a safe shelter with warm food and blankets that just.. radiates a space of love, you know? part of being a christian is also advocating for love to each other :") i'm so happy you feel this way about my blog. this means so so much to me. i'm so happy that you're comfortable around me, it means a lot. i love you dearly, sarah <3

fifth; this hit hard. this is exactly whats going through rn. and it sucks ass. i don't think it's self centered to love yourself first – thats basic human decency XD you're absolutely right, my dear.

sixth; pain truly is only temporary. <3 this is such a lovely reminder honestly.

seventh; this makes me so happy. thank you for the words of encouragement – of peace, of comfort, of assurance. this was beautifully written and i'm so glad that it was for me! He will always be there to ground me when i float too high, and i think that's truly something worth living for. my anchor, my hope. thank you for this sweet message!

sarah, i love you. you've been the absolute sweetest since day 1 and i genuinely cannot imagine not having you in my life. you've been such a big blessing and inspiration (all glory to Him!) in my life and i'm so happy that God put us on these crossed paths! i love you so much, have the most wonderful day/night.

mega big hugs from me. mwah. xx

#sarah the moot <3 #this whole message made me tear up ngl #this was so sweet...#sarah ily #i don't think any amt of words can truly express my gratitude. i love u

5 notes · View notes

kwantified · 4 years

Text

waffles - zhong chenle

genre: highschool!chenji, fluff word count: 2.6k synopsis: a snitched secret leaves you feeling guilty, but there’s always chenle (and food). lowercase intended.

disclaimer! mild swearing (as teens do) and apologies in advance if it’s cringey. i’m new to this!

"fuck chaeri, they're going to kill me!"

"she needs to know! someone likes her!"

"but you don't know the name, though? what's the point?" at this moment, you realise it would've been better to have never told chaeri anything at all. damn it. who knew the same person who was able to keep all of your crushes since the seventh grade was now willingly announcing someone's feelings to the one person they shouldn't be announced to - at least, not yet.

"that's exactly the point. it's even more exciting to guess!" chaeri continues, "also, it's about time she gets a love life. i'm pretty sure ballet gets tiring sometimes."

you pull her shoulder, hoping to hold her back. your effort ignored, she instead approaches your friend, hong mijung, sitting on the leftmost seat in classroom 1-C. you watch in defeat as chaeri's lanky figure sways her way to the girl on the other side of the room. she tells mijung in squeals, a mix of excitement and shock. you could practically see mijung's heart drop after hearing her words.

mijung stands up, following chaeri to the hallway. her face is flushed bright red and her mouth moves fast. chaeri only reassures the shorter girl, trying to calm her down from the flustering news. it's an amusing sight; seeing mijung jump out of her calm, relaxed demeanour.

thankfully, you'd managed to stop yourself from spilling any names, and if mijung's already skipping beats at the idea of someone crushing on her, you can only imagine her usual ballerina bun undoing itself once she found out the hip-hop dancer from the studio upstairs had feelings for her.

feeling bouts of guilt and relief, you decide to head to your locker. exams are finally over; that means emptying your backpack of multiple textbooks and freeing you of weighted hell - even if that meant you would lose your only means of exercise.

"boo." you jump at the familiar voice behind you.

"halloween's so last season, zhong chenle," you turn around and get an eye-roll in response.

chenle cocks his head at the two girls heading downstairs, "what's going on with mijung?"

"why do you want to know?"

"because she doesn't usually do..." he trails off into silence. you begin to hear mijung's voice echo from two stories below, and chenle snaps his fingers, "...that."

"point taken," you try to find something in your locker to fiddle with, wanting to dismiss the conversation.

he folds his arms, leaning on the lockers in front of you. "anyways, what happened?"

you feel his gentle eyes waiting on your answer, and that's when you realise it's too late to scram.

"would you be mad if someone leaked your feelings for someone without your permission to the person you have feelings for?"

chenle thinks for a moment, "yeah."

"...don't tell me you did that," you can hear his cheery tone drop.

"to my defence, i didn't tell it was jisung," you pause, "i told chaeri, and chaeri only, that someone likes mijung." you began.

"should i tell jisung? mijung has class after this and i don't want her getting all giddy talking about crushes in front of him."

chenle tilts his head in thought, "yeah. just give him a warning. and an apology, because, you know, duh."

"fuck, i'm sorry." you sigh as you text jisung, letting a string of curses follow throughout.

"i feel like he likes her. like, like likes her. a lot." chenle nods, moving to face your back. he places his chin on your shoulder as the two of you watch jisung react with a sequence of 'oh my god's, 'shit's, and numerous variations of a keyboard smash.

chenle's hands go to your arms, rubbing it in an attempt to soothe you. "what's done is done."

still, you feel nervous. like, a queasy-weird nervous feeling from your gut or somewhere around there. somehow, it's familiar.

"yeah, i know, but-"

"have you tried the new café downtown?"

fuck. looks like the feeling isn't going away today.

"is 'not enough pocket money' a valid excuse or does that phrase just not make sense in your head?" you say sarcastically, turning your head to find him weirdly sweet-smelling. he chuckles in response, and you feel him beaming his usual ear-to-ear smile.

"i'll pay." he says nonchalantly, lifting his head from your shoulder, "plus, i don't want you to sulk over one thing you did for the next week."

"you can't buy me happiness," you retaliate, almost as if guarding your shame.

"hey, science says chocolate releases dopamine. makes you happy." he puts his arm around your shoulders. at this point, it's hard to tell whether he actually wants to get closer to you or if your shoulders are just the perfect height for an armrest. you wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter, but you're never sure about the former.

still, it feels nice.

it turns out the "café" chenle referred to was more of a "waffle and coffee stand" downtown, its tables and seats taken by groups of content faces already. chenle insists the two of you line up anyways, your and chenle's eyes targeting a certain chocolate waffle. you could practically feel the warmth radiating off of the food, and your mouth waters at the thought of fudge filling your tastebuds as an abundance of sweet and bitter scents fill your nostrils.

you see him huff cold air as he speaks, his nose turning a light shade of pink. his cheeks follow, and it's only when his eyes meet with yours that you realised two things: your face is also tinted pink, and you've been staring. panicked, you swiftly avert your eyes. you had expected an obnoxious laugh or a direct jab from his part, but to your surprise, he only smiles.

randomly, you blurt, "have you ever thought of bleaching your eyebrows?"

he laughs, and then says, "only during exam season. you know, i think it would fit on you - actually you’d look good in anything." he shrugs, earning him a confused look from you.

the worker inside the stand shouts the number on your receipt, and it takes a while for the two of you to recover from the first bites you take. it was like medicine, and the side effects were: jumping, letting out less than appropriate sounds, and annoying others around you. in other words, the waffles were stupidly good. and you watched chenle space out like he's never eaten food before.

and he gave you the stupidest smile and the stupidest laugh and did the stupidest thing: he cupped your cheeks and looked straight into your eyes and made you believe this might be about more than waffles - thankfully, he'd swallowed his bite and you laughed it off.

he calmed down a bit after that, but you still can't fathom his warm hands on your face. it just made you want to reach into your stomach with a giant net and catch all the little butterflies.

"i'll walk you home," he says, out of the blue. you knew his house was located around the block, but you didn't want to point it out. besides, he's walked you home before, and he knows his way around town by now.

"okay." you smile.

"i kind of want to get back on stage again."

"really?"

"yeah. i miss the thrill of it all, you know? just having so many peoples' eyes on me, and i honestly just love to hear everyone cheer or cry or react," he continues as the two of you wait before the crossing, "i think the most powerful thing about performing is just knowing that you're making someone feel something, whoever it is. i just- i don't know."

"no, i get it. i don't really perform at all, but i've seen how happy you get on stage."

you remember that one class trip after midterms, in the talent show. chenle and jisung signed up to perform a parody of soulja boy's "pretty boy swag" as a joke, and as stupid as the lyrics were, the crowd absolutely loved it.

you also remember surfing the internet to find videos of him singing all throughout his childhood, spamming him with links of the videos in a group chat with him. though you made fun of him, you were sure of one thing; he had a talent for it.

the light turns green, and the two of you bathe in seoul's city noises once more, different aromas of street food and soju lighting up several sections of the block.

"Y/N," he calls.

"yeah?"

"i feel like i've known you for a while," he says suddenly.

you suck in the cold air as the two of you brisk walk; you barely have any time to process what he's just said. quickly, you respond, "yeah, me too."

he catches your reaction and says again, "it's like i was meant to know you, y'know? something about you just makes me feel like i've spent lifetimes with you."

he waits for your response, but there's none. you don't know what to say. 'something about you.' something about me? what is there about me?

"how- how do you know?" it's normal for him to speak so straightforwardly, but today feels different. you can't quite put a finger on it.

"this is weird, but your voice is familiar... and comforting, now that i think about it."

how does he say that so casually?

just as you're still trying to understand his words to you, chenle gradually intertwines his hand with yours.

at first, it's okay, and you feel like the butterflies have multiplied by the hundreds. but slowly, questions start to infiltrate your mind, and you have no choice but to pull him over to talk. fortunately, you're close to your house, and where you live, the streets are much quieter than his.

you stop abruptly, turning his calm face confused.

"zhong. chenle."

"that's my name?"

"yeah," you nod, "care to explain?"

he leans in closer to you (which made two seconds seem like two years), asking for you to repeat it again. you take a deep breath.

"why do you do anything? like- with me?" all you see is a confused look.

"because i-"

"you're so casual about everything and i don't know how to feel about it because one day we're project group partners that never talk and the next you walk me the long way home!"

you start to look him up and down as you speak, your pupils going in a zig-zag pattern across the boy. you're frantic and spewing words you don't even remember wanting to say, but you're focused on him, and only him. not the sunset that's tinting his violet hair blue; not the neighbouring house gates that make him look taller than he actually his; not even the puddle he's so close to standing on it's a hair strand away from staining his jordans.

you know him, and only him and how much his hair's grown it's covering his eyes; him and how his blazer, when pulled to his elbows, makes him look a bit like a k-pop idol; him and his red, unpierced ears, which colours' still show through his hair.

"and you buy me all these treats and put your fucking arms around me and basically back hug me so many times and act like it's no big deal that i'm getting confused whether or not you want me close or if i'm just a convenient armrest?"

you genuinely feel yourself getting lightheaded. am i going crazy?

"wait, but i thought you liked that because i saw jisung do it-"

"it's different! jisung's a friend - more like a brother - and yeah, of course i like it, but with you it's different! it's like- it feels some way, like- it's just-" you trip up on your words and give up.

"i- have feelings for you." you slow down your pace.

you look up at him and realise his eyes saw you first. he smiles, again, and it's only then that you get the urge to hold his hand or snuggle into the crook of his neck.

luckily, zhong chenle's a mind reader, and he goes on to wrap his arms around you, letting your head rest on the crook of his neck as you mumble, over and over again the words i like you like you're getting used to its vowels sounding out of your throat. it's some type of warmth you don't think you'll ever get with five layers of padded jackets or stupidly good waffles - and it smells like sandalwood.

"you don't have to return my feelings, just- know that i feel this way."

"i thought it was obvious?"

you pull away from the embrace, "what was obvious?"

"i've liked you since after that trip. you know, when i injured my ankle after the talent show," he shrugs, "you just came to the nurse's area, where i was, and you just- stayed there to be with me the entire night. and from then you just always approached me and, i don't know, treated me like a person instead of a walking bank."

"and i guess it didn't seem so obvious for you because we only really got close because of jisung, who you've known for forever. but i did go out of my way a few times, though."

"wait, when?"

"for starters, i walked you home a lot, bought you lunch a few times, paid for the cake on your birthday-"

"that was you?"

he scoffs.

"oh, i see." you hit him playfully, "that's why chaeri wasn't complaining about her wallet."

"but honestly," you began, "i think i've always thought you were a great, funny guy even before the trip. i remember you on the first day of school, basically shouting through the halls with your other friends from the second and third years. and i just remember, the first time hearing you talk and thinking: you're so damn confident. and when you got hurt and nobody really came to see you, i was just like, shit - nobody's going to check on him other than jisung?"

you continue as the two of you are nearing your house, pouring out the unspoken after months and months of bottling it up.

suddenly, chenle's phone rings. it's jisung calling.

"jisung-ah! call me later-"

unable to hear jisung, you read the call through chenle's face.

"wait... HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY?"

"DUDE-" he looks down, unintentionally meeting your eyes. his tone softens, "dude, tell me later tonight, kay? i'm... in public right now."

you raise an eyebrow at him.

"well, i'm with Y/N."

then jisung speaks again, and chenle replies with a "yeah."

"oh- okay," he puts the call on speaker. the second he does that, the first thing you hear from jisung is "Y/N! GOD BLESS YOU."

"wait- why?"

"MIJUNG JUST ASKED ME OUT!"

you look to chenle, "i-is he kidding?"

"NO I'M NOT! I ALREADY PINCHED MYSELF THRICE- THIS IS INSANE!"

chenle laughs, "when and where?"

"movies and dinner... i'm never getting over this."

"wait so... does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"well, you were kind of a snitch but i guess that ended well, so... no."

"i won't snitch next time, i promise. unless-"

"Y/N, there won't be a next time! there's no way i'm gonna stop liking mijung."

"proud of you bud. call us later, yeah? we're getting on the bus right now." chenle says nonchalantly, ending the call just like that.

"why did you lie?"

he grins and takes your hand in his, "why do you think?"

"oh, shut up," you laugh, reaching up to peck his cheek goodbye.

he looks at you, shocked, making you two simultaneously burst into laughter together.

“ya! your breath smells like waffles!”

#nct #nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #park jisung #waffles #fluff #nct dream fluff #kpop imagines #kpop #fanfic #imagine #au #high school

83 notes · View notes

pions · 4 years

Text

This turned into more of a "tips I've learned that I'm sharing" list, because a lot of what makes me happy about myself is constantly learning new things and applying them to my life. So here are some positive things about me with commentary. Requested by @probablypartalien

I've been stressing over who to tag because I don't want to make anyone feel weird, but if you're a follower of mine and you want to do this when please do, and tag me in it. :)

Anyway, here's the content --------------

1. I'm super happy about how much my communication skills have grown in the last few years. I was a pretty stunted kid as far as "talking normally to others" went, and I had a lot of anxiety about saying weird things that would get me teased, so I often wouldn't know what to say at all. I'm still pretty awkward but I don't seem as anxious about it anymore so I think it helps. one-on-one's have been a lot better ever since building my arsenal of "script" phrases too. I can make appointments, and order food without having to worry so much because i better know what to expect now. So that's cool

2. I saw an disordered eating post today and that reminds me that I'm way better about my eating habits than I used to be. For almost all of my childhood I was surrounded by adults who did name brand diets, and encouraged weird eating to trick the body into losing weight. At no point was there a balanced diet and exercise plan, and when I wanted to lose weight as a kid my mom told me to stop eating carbs. (I was 13! And I did and got super small but it's also caused me many body battles and fluctuations and dizzy spells and overall it's bad kids don't diet like that)

But anyway, ever since becoming an adult I've had a lot of success with not starving myself, and applying other good tips for keeping my body machine running smoothly. There's still a lot to unpack, but it's definitely better :) many thanks to that nutritionist I saw a few times lol. I'll share a few of the takeaways

- only put on your plate what you're going to eat

- put enough on your plate, don't go back for seconds. feel free to add a cookie or snack or anything you want to eat that makes you happy, just make sure to only take what you can eat

- Your diet shouldn't feel restricting or make you feel like you're missing out! It's all about moderation of food intake

- Don't eat in front of distractions. Find a table and make it an event of its own. That way you'll better focus on the way your body feels when you get full. You don't have to eat once you're full, but it takes about 10 minutes before you can even tell that you are

- your body will adjust itself based on food intake, and it knows how to best regulate itself so don't worry if your food plan doesn't make you look like someone else on the same plan, because your body is always doing what's best for itself, and trust that if your diet is healthy that your body is doing its best too, even if your not seeing "results"

3.) learning to throw away my pedestal for the raw intelligence mentality was one of the best things I've ever done. Probably most of us here can relate to being one of the smart kids, and I specifically was one of those kids singled out at an early age and placed in a 'gifted program' (and jeez did that do nothing for me but isolate me socially, and set an impossibly high standard was what was clearly my "God-Given genius") I've seen the same pattern from every single gifted kid I know. They have a hard time working for things because if they're not already good at it then they must've been faking this 'gift' the whole time

Honestly I'm here for saying FUCK intelligence/genius/IQ culture altogether. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that just because you're bad at something, and ESPECIALLY if you're slow to pick things up, doesn't have any say on your worth as an academic. The human brain is so so powerful, and it's better and faster when it's trained to know how to do the thing! Even problem solving is a SKILL! All skills take practice, even if it's quick mental math, even if it's pattern recognition, even if it's reading-comprehension. We need to stop writing ourselves off as 'less than' just because someone is already better at it, or they picked up on it easier. We're all on different paths and levels and it's okay to know just to do you on your own time. You're capable, and I know I am.

Definitely happy that I've taken that one to heart. It helps all the time

4) Speaking of cultivating skills, I have a few I'm pretty damn proud of.

One: I'm really really good at problem solving. I spend so much of my waking time thinking about problems, and I'm told by a lot of my friends that I come up with efficient and creative solutions, and I really value that.

Two: You bet your ass I'm the best researcher around. I know so so many things specific to my interests. If you ever want to know or need help with computer programming, astronomy, or physics I'm pretty much your guy. I love to know things deeply so that I can re-explain them in a simple way. It's one of my favorite things to do, chewing up impossibly large topics

Three: this is a good one: I'm way better at asking questions now. Might sound weird, but I used to be really bad at asking questions because I had a hard time understanding why they didn't immediately have my answer. I considering myself a dummy level of meticulous, so if I'm asking a question you best bet that I've crafted it to sound like it makes the most sense in my head, but what would you know? Other people aren't me, and so I would repeat the same wording over and over and they would drive me crazy with the wrong responses. A good step is to let the person answering the question know what you already have in mind. It keeps them from repeating concepts your already have, and instead of them guessing whats wrong, they can start nit-picking or confirming your thoughts. It was so hard for me to understand that others are not in my head when I'm asking these things, but keep in mind that they're often on another planet and it requires some grounding before you can make progress. Saves so much time and frustration if the questioning process is dynamic

5. I'm the autistic nb your parents warned you about, and I think that's pretty sexy of me. I shan't explain

#tag game #probablypartalien #nobody has interacted with this post yet and now I'm embarrassed

0 notes

servin-up-surveys · 1 year

Text

survey #095

(taken december 29th last year; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Have you ever given someone flowers? Yes; I remember one specific Mother's Day I took a jar and went walking down our path collecting wild flowers to give my mom. I'm also pretty sure I've given Jason roses before, but I'm not entirely positive. I want to give Girt some someday, even though he's said he thinks flowers are kinda a dumb gift, since they're just dying plants and all but honestly, I feel like if someone he loves like me actually gifted him flowers that he'd probably be really touched and cherish them.

Are there any lamps on in the room that you’re currently in? Yes, I have a guitar lamp in this room that's always on because I like its warm, orange glow.

Is there a place that you will never return back to? I've made it a point that I simply will fucking not EVER go back to the local mental hospital here if god absolutely forbid I need one again. I'll die before I do. It's literal hell and pure, rancid garbage of a facility.

Does your grass need to be cut currently? Nah, it naturally stays dead/real short this time of year.

What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? A very abrupt and just overall traumatic breakup with a long-time partner I'd completely, utterly, entirely lost myself in. I had no self-autonomy; I lived for him, and suddenly he was gone, so I lived for nobody until I finally started to build myself and decide who I was in 2017. It's a journey still in progress today, because I still don't feel like I've entirely found myself and I definitely don't love myself like I should at all. I would wish the experience on absolutely, positively nobody. It changed me forever.

Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes; the primary reason is I just really like the symbolism and general drive to always be and work together, but I also find it appealing for legal and financial ease when it comes to various processes.

Have you ever abused an animal? Hell fucking no.

Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. They have just as much right to life and kindness as humans do, and you cannot change my mind. We came about existence and (varying degrees of) sentience the same way they did, so what the hell makes us better? And hey, at least animals don't consciously make evil decisions like we do...

Have you ever been sectioned? I am honestly STUNNED I haven't even HEARD this phrase before I just googled it, because I've been admitted to psych hospitals many times. The term "involuntary commitment" was used instead.

Are you on any medication? I'm on so many meds, and I hate it. I very much hold just how many meds I have been and also am still on as being responsible for my extreme memory problems. They're also why I have tremors in my hands. And why I have a chronically Sahara-dry mouth, like I'm supposed to carry a moistening spray for my mouth with me as instructed by my dentist because just how horribly dry my mouth is actually contributed to cavities in very difficult locations, like around the gum line and in difficult cracks.

Have you ever been homeless? Technically, yes, but I have Colleen to thank for ensuring I had some place to stay during this time. She, in her core, was not a very good person, but bad people are still capable of doing nice things. People are absolutely not merely black and white.

Have you ever had a steady job? Nope. Just three humiliating, very short-lived attempts.

Have you ever wanted to go to space? I absolutely would if it wasn't such a long, daunting journey. I feel like I would ultimately and very easily just cry if I went to and truly experienced outer space. That's the home of our very genesis, like I don't think anybody WOULDN'T cry.

Do you identify as a geek? If so, explain. Eh I guess so, I've definitely got my geeky interests and aesthetics and stuff, but I ultimately just don't care about labels and whether I fit them or not at this age.

What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Markiplier acknowledging my existence lmfao

Do you have a dog that is destructive? Nah, Cookie's totally harmless.

Does your mom like to burn candles? Oh yes, she's big on Yankee candles.

Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever slept? Zero clue. Nowhere very odd, I'm sure.

Quick! Chinese or Mexican? Mexican, I guess, but I'm not big on either.

How many significant others have you had in your WHOLE life? I only consider three TRULY significant. I uh, think. What I had with Sara was nowhere near what I felt/feel for Jason and Girt, but it was still significant to me.

When was the last time you applied chapstick? Not long ago, actually. It's been every day for like a week or two now... They're just constantly burning and the top lip has a notably red shade above it.

All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with? J, T, D (or "G" if you go by what I call him), and S.

What did you and your ex fight about most? Jason and I I'm pretty sure fought most about instances where games came before me. I think. This was just so long ago that our old fights barely exist in my head now. Sara and I mostly argued about RP stuff, which is so fucking stupid and is just a reminder to me of how not worth it that friendship was, we could never agree on shit, shit that wasn't even real.

Have you ever purchased condoms? I personally haven't, no.

What brand is your camera? It's a Canon EOS Rebel T6.

Do you like raisins? I absolutely hate raisins.

When did you first kiss the last person you kissed? It was the first time he visited my house after we started dating the first time. As we were hugging before he left, he like shyly mentioned he wanted to but clearly wanted my permission, which I gave him even though at this time, I was not ready. No fault of his own, he was mannerly and considerate in seeing if I was okay with it and I SAID yes, so it's my own fault. Obviously doesn't bother me nowadays though.

Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend? No, but that'd be super nice one day.

Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be fluent in every language? Talk to animals. I feel like it would ultimately be more beneficial, like others could translate my English, speaking to animals would be a major new thing.

What was the last thing someone asked you for advice on? Uhhhh... I can't remember.

What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? There is honestly probably nothing. I cry very easily.

Have you ever swam in a saltwater pool? No, and I'm cool with never doing that.

List three people you’ve had crushes on. I'm only gonna list people I never dated: Sebastian, Kyle, and Alon.

How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? 16, 17.

List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Dad, Colleen.

Is there someone you are currently struggling to forgive? I don't think "struggling" is the right word, I straight-up refuse to forgive Sara for invalidating my trauma. I could possibly forgive everything else, but not that. Never that.

[TW: EATING DISORDER, SIMILAR BEHAVIORS] Have you ever tried to starve yourself in order to lose weight? Yes, but it's never gone far. I handle the feeling of hunger quite badly, especially if I am super in need of food, so I've never been able to resist all that long.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? I use the Tri-Sprintec birth control pills, and condoms are mandatory for me. Maybe TMI but pulling out is also not merely an option, my partner is absolutely gonna fucking do it. I'm unwilling to do anything less than those three together.

What gender do you identify as? What gender were you born as? Female for both questions.

Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No.

Do you prefer tampons or pads? Honestly, I hate both. Tampons are just uncomfortable and tend to just not stay perfectly in place for me, and pads are like bloody diapers, but ultimately I use pads these days anyway. I sometimes wanna try to use the cup, but I know I wouldn't handle it well for a few reasons.

Have you ever used a tampon? Yes, I think I've used tampons for most of my menstruating life. I only recently switched back to pads.

Did your parents give you “the talk”? No, I learned about periods and sex solely from family life/sex ed classes in school during 4th and 5th grade.

Do you think you are attractive? Absolutely not.

Have you ever accidentally overdosed on a drug? Yes actually, but it just made me very tired. Mom called poison control or whatever and they let us know I'd be fine, I probably just would be sleepy.

Would you ever name a child after yourself? No, I honestly REALLY dislike parents naming their children after themselves. It comes across as so self-important and like the child's identity isn't their own. I worry if I do have kids/a son, Girt's mom is absolutely going to want a Donald III which she will absolutely, positively NOT get. I don't even like the name Donald.

Is there a guy or girl you wish things had worked out with? Not anymore!

Would you rather have a daughter or a son? I would very strongly prefer a daughter if I have children.

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? Yes, I would literally refuse a male gynecologist, like I'm sorry, but a man picking a career of examining vaginas and pretending it's not something he gets some sort of sexual satisfaction out of seems REMARKABLY unlikely to me.

Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, I really enjoy her aesthetic. Kinda want a Lisa Frank-ish tattoo at some point.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No.

Do you believe that drug addicts and alcoholics should count as people? Are you fucking kidding me with this????

Will you vote in the next presidential election? Yes.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats! Even though my zoo no longer has them. :(

Are you allergic to your favorite animal? I wouldn't know, I've never been in contact with one.

Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fucking GOD.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? Well, I most want to wear black, but if that wasn't an option, uh... idk, it would really depend on the dress. I think my bridesmaids are gonna wear orange; I want a black-and-gold themed wedding and I think orange would work okay. I think gold dresses would either be very expensive or just distracting, or both.

Have you ever taken a poetry course? No, but I absolutely would've if it was an option in school.

What would you name twin girls? I can basically promise you I would selectively abort if I got pregnant with twins even if I wanted children, BUT if I did keep both for whatever reason, I'm rather confident in Alessandra and Anneliese.

Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name is frequently used as a middle name in my family, if you'd consider that as counting.

Do you want to have a bachelorette party? Idk, probably.

Would you be scared to meet God? My totally honest, rather confident opinion? Even if he existed, no. Because if he IS real, I have a negative amount of respect for him so therefore don't respect anything he'd think or feel. The idea of going to Hell is terrifying, yeah, but even that fear won't keep me from what I so firmly believe in these days.

Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Story of basically my entire life.

Is there a Kmart in your town? There once was quite close to here actually, but it's been closed for a veeeery long time now.

Do you enjoy seeing wedding and baby announcements on Facebook? Of course! Those are exciting times for people and I'm happy for them.

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? I wouldn't say anything, idc.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? When it boils down to it, no. I want to keep moving forward.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

0 notes