#because I'll never be doing this shit again

[suiana]

(yandere! zombie x gn! survivor reader) (im such a youtube shorts kid bruh this idea came to me because of a video i watched)

did you know that zombies retain their habits from when they were humans?

well you sure as hell do now, because why is your annoying neighbour still following you around?? he's literally fucking rotting???

"shoo! go away!"

you hiss at him, shooting a rubber band at him before quickly climbing up a tree. phew, you wouldn't be bothered by him from here. it's been like this for a few days now, your undead neighbour following you around as you did your best to survive in this ruined world.

you never really liked him, your neighbour that is. he's always been that one weird guy that keeps annoying you ever since he moved in. constantly knocking on your door and asking to have meals together, to getting to and from work at the same times as you... you're so sure that he was stalking you. how could it ever be a coincidence that he just somehow knew when you were going out and coming back from work?

but now you wouldn't ever know and it's not like you wanted to know anyway. ignorance is bliss after all. oh! he's also very stubborn and it's quite apparent in his zombie form.

"bweh."

"go away!"

the zombie hits at the tree you were sitting down on as he looks up at you with what seemed to be puppydog eyes. you could only grimace at the sight before checking through your supplies. shit, you're running out of stuff.

"ugh... i'll need to scavenge for food-"

"guh!"

you raise an eyebrow at your undead admirer before humming. right, you suppose it isn't that bad that you have him around... he gives you stuff that's useful and scares away other mobs (you think he eats them if they get too close to you). you would've actually coddled him like a dog if he wasn't trying to get into your pants or kiss you every second.

"thanks."

you lean forward and snatch the bad of chips from his rotting hands before stuffing it into your bag. mn, you could probably have that for your lunch and dinner tomorrow.

"let's see... i need to find a good place to sleep tonight."

"bwa! buh beh!"

your zombie immediately starts scratching at the tree bark before jutting his lower lip. huh...

"no, i'm not sleeping in your apartment."

"gah!"

you think you're starting to understand zombie language because why are you holding full on conversations with him??

"don't give me that face. you know our apartment complex is riddled with zombies. i don't want to be turned."

"kh... gur! rh..."

"you think i'm trusting you? i swear i saw our old neighbour lurking around there and he was an olympic sprinter."

you shake your finger at the zombie before sighing softly. why did this apocalypse have to happen? things were going great for you before this. you just had a raise and you were so close to landing a date with your hot boss!

if you didn't know any better you'd have thought that your little zombie admirer was the one who kickstarted this zombie apocalypse because of his jealousy. what did he work as before he turned? a scientist?

"tn... jhn... ngh..."

"don't act all sassy with me right now. it's not like i want to sleep in your place to begin with. you'd probably lock me in there with you and i'd be trapped."

"bah!"

rolling your eyes at the sassy undead man, you rest against the trunk of the tree and shut your eyes. might as well get some rest before setting off again.

"i'm going to rest now. help me keep an eye out."

"kah kah. jah?"

"no, i won't kiss you. and no, i most certainly won't reward you with myself. you're rotting, damnit! how many times do i have to tell you that?"

"ui..."

what in the sassy zombie apocalypse have you gotten yourself into?

[euniexenoblade]

Choose Your Own Smutty Halloween Adventure - Prologue

"Hiiii everyone! It's me, Mordred! Breaking the fourth wall to bring you an all new fun smutty adventure! Let me welcome you to The Fucking Game!"

Curtains, that you previously never noticed on your screen, rise up to reveal a game show set. On the left side of the set there sits five yellow, cushy seats. On the right side are shackles chained to the wall, the only part of the set where the yellow striped wallpaper is disturbed. Between the two is a small wall to prevent the sides from seeing each other.

"Now, I know what you're asking, 'Mordred, what is The Fucking Game, and why the fuck are you breaking the fourth wall?!' Well, my dear reader, it's very simple, it's like the The Dating Game, except it's fucking, and you're reading it. And, it needs a host, and who better than me?"

"Oh, and did I mention it's a Halloween special? So, ya know, monsters and shit."

"Shall we meet our lovely slut I mean, bachelorette?"

Two hooded figures pull a girl out by the ankles, she seems to have been knocked out, sliding across the floor as they drag her. The hooded figures take the shackles and close them on the girl's wrists before walking away.

"Allow me to introduce you to-" Mordred turns around. The girl is unconscious on the ground. Mordred turns back to the camera. "Hmm. Hold on one second folks." Mordred walks off screen, but can be heard somewhat, "Go wake her the fuck up I have smut to write you dumbfucks!"

Two hooded figures walk back on stage, one has a stun baton. The figure lightly taps the girl with it. The girl screams, jumping awake and puts her back on the wall, cowering. The hooded figures walk off screen.

Mordred now walks back on screen. "Now! Allow me to introduce you to Delilah!"

"Where am I?! What is going on?! I want to go home!"

Mordred looks disappointed. "FINE! I'LL DO THAT TOO!" Delilah is a 30 year old trans woman from California. She's a college dropout, has had only one relationship with a cis dude and it ended badly, and now she's looking for love in all the wrong places~"

"I am?"

"Yes. You are. Today, Delilah will find true love. Or die trying I suppose, I don't know, it's not up to me. I'm just a host."

"But now, let me introduce you to the people she's gonna fuck!"

"Fuck?"

Mordred groans. "Yes, fuck, it's The Fucking Game, keep up girlie."

"Anyways, our first contestant, hailing from the forests out east, Gerold the Werewolf."

A big wolf walks out onto the stage. He stands at about 9 feet tall on two legs, covered in fur, hunched a bit, his big teeth obvious despite his snout being closed. He sits in the first yellow chair and looks into the camera and speaks, "My name is Gerold, but I go by Gere, because there are hundreds of werewolves, but there's only one Gerewolf." Crowd laughter is heard. What crowd? Who knows. "I deserve to have this girl as a personal fuck toy, because I am loyal and devoted. Though I may have a thousand victims, I'll have only one fuck toy. You'll never worry about where I am or who I'm with, I'm a werewolf, not a WHEREwolf." More crowd laughter.

The camera pans back to Mordred. "Ha ha ha isn't he a hoot? Now here's our second contestant, Lilith, the Demon Queen from Hell."

The camera pans back to the chairs, a tall woman with red skin walks onto stage. She plops into the second yellow chair, she has a black bra and black panties on, black hair to her shoulders, and big horns sticking out of her head. As she speaks, you can see her razor sharp teeth, "Hi there, I'm Lilith, and I'm a bat outta Hell." Mordred can subtly be heard saying "I don't think she knows what that phrase means...." Lilith continues, "I like long walks on the lava beach, I love to fuck, and baby, I know hell, so I have the experience to make this relationship work." The mystery crowd claps.

Once again, the focus is on Mordred. "Isn't she just lovely? A true romantic if I've ever seen one. And, now, our third contestant, Priscilla the Ghost Girl."

Back to the stage, a blue-ish, translucent being floats over to the middle chair. She looks like a cartoon ghost, big black circles for eyes, a mouth that's a line and moves to a circle shape as she talks, "Hello everyone, I'm Priscilla, the ghost with the most! I don't go out often, since I'm stuck to the house I'm haunting. But, that said, I'm a homeowner, I read a lot, and I love to stay home and give you all the attention you need." The mystery crowd can be heard going 'awww.'

"Wait she's done already?" Mordred whines before noticing the camera is back on her. "Oh, hi there, isn't she just the best?! Now, let's move on to our fourth contestant, Slosha the Slime Princess!"

Camera pans back to the chairs, and a green, moist, almost slug shaped being moves across the floor, leaving a trail the whole way. Once she gets to the fourth chair, she morphs her body into a humanoid shape, big breasts, big belly, even fake slime hair. As she sits down into the chair you can see the chair get moist through her body. "Hiiiiiiiiiii! I'm Slosha! I am the Princess of the great slime empire! I lovvvvve to eat, so you know I'm gonna have so much fun digesting you! But I love to play with my foooood, so if you become my sex toy I'll never leave you alone! And, since I'm royalty, you have to do whatever I tell you to do or I will have you executed ^_^"

Mordred speaks to the camera, "Holy fuck, isn't she just beautiful? Actual royalty on our show? That's so cool. Anyways, thank you readers for being patient, we're almost done. One final contestant, possibly the charismatic of them all, allow me to introduce you tooooo: Pumpkin!"

Back to the stage. A pumpkin falls from the roof into the last chair. It has no other discernible features. It can not speak. It is just a pumpkin. The mystery crowd goes crazy with applause.

"Isn't Pumpkin just lovely, folks? Now for the the game to truly to begin. Delilah will now pick which contestant she wants alone time with. And by pick, I mean she gets whatever you tell her she gets."

"Wait, what? I don't want this-"

"Did I tell you to speak?" Mordred says in a stern tone. Delilah goes quiet.

"That's right! It's you" Mordred points at you, the person reading this, "who gets to choose who Delilah gets fucked by!" Delilah gulps. "Now, reader, it's up to you, begin the game."

[kikidoesfanfic]

Woof, I mean, hey

Written for the @strangerthingswritersguild demogorgon daily prompt 'puppy chow' (happy birthday @bobamews)

>On ao3<

"I'd keep an eye on that if I were you," Wayne says, gesturing at the bag of dog food Steve's carrying.

There's a stray that's taken up hiding under the Munson trailer, all round with a litter and such a sweetheart, Steve has been trying to befriend her enough to coax her inside for a bath for a few days now.

"Uncle Wayne, no!" Eddie whines, and now Steve's intrigued, Wayne's looking at Eddie with a positively shit eating grin, the two having a staredown neither seems willing to break.

"What am I keeping an eye out for exactly?" Steve asks.

"Well, back when Eddie first came to live with me,"

"Wayne please."

"There was this skittish little pup hangin' round the park, skinny as anythin' and nobody seemed to own it."

"I'll do the dishes for a month," Eddie says, and Wayne pauses, probably tempted because he hates doing the dishes, and with Steve cooking most nights both Munson men trade off on the chore. He must decide it's worth it though, because he continues.

"So, Eddie begged and begged, big sad cow eyes that I couldn't say no to." Wayne looks to Steve now, "of course I had to buy a little bag of the puppy chow, the kibble stuff."

Eddie, knowing Wayne is unmovable, dramatically flops face down onto the couch.

"But see, the scrawny thing wouldn't get close to eat the food when we were out there, even birds scared the little guy away. So Eddie-" Wayne says, starting to chuckle. "So Eddie thought-" he cuts himself off again with another laugh, Eddie groaning in protest, slightly muffled by the sofa cushion.

"Eddie thought if the pup saw him eatin' the food, he'd know it was safe, that he was safe."

"Aww Eddie, that's so cute!" Steve coos, dropping the bag beside the door to go over and kneel next to the couch.

"Yep, that's me, so cute." Eddie says quickly, head popping up to glare at his uncle. "And that's where the story ends, right Uncle Wayne."

"Sure," he acquiesces, and Eddie looks momentarily relieved until Wayne tacks on, "if you ignore the part where he decided they tasted pretty good as a snack and hid half the bag in his room for later."

"BETRAYAL, Eddie shouts, jumping up on the couch to point an accusatory finger at Wayne, "by my own flesh and blood!"

Steve, meanwhile, is laughing so hard he's bent double, he'd stood to make sure Eddie wouldn't fall off the couch when he yelled, but when Wayne's words processed... well.

"You kept eating it?" Steve wheezes, and Eddie turns to slap at his shoulder.

"No, go back, I'm cute remember! Wayne, look what you did!"

"I can get set some aside from the bag if you like, but I'm not kissing you if you have dog food breath." Wayne chuckles again.

"I changed my mind, pretty much immediately!"

"Yeah, but only 'cause-"

"NO. NOPE. TIME TO GO." Eddie yells, cutting Wayne off, jumping hastily from the couch and shoving at Steve to get him towards their room. "La la la la we can't hear you!"

"Only 'cause he felt guilty for stealing the dogs food" Wayne yells behind them, just as Eddie's about to slam the door.

"No," Eddie despairs, drawing out the word, thumping his head on the door frame a time or two before Steve can stop him. "You're the worst!" He turns and pouts, eyes big and imploring as he looks at Steve, "you can't tell anyone about this, the kids will never let me hear the end of it."

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me Eds," he says with a fond smile. "Though, I don't think it's me you have to worry about, won't Wayne be home during Hellfire this week?" Eddie's face turns panicked, hurrying back down the hallway, leaving a giggling Steve behind.

"Hey Uncle Wayne, I ever tell you you're the best Uncle a guy could have?"

[judesmoonbeauty]

SurpriseBag2024: A Happy Switch-Up Between The Cunning Mobster & The Happiness-Obsessed Oddball

This is a repost. Due to the original being deleted by Tumblr, my tags list will not be included nor will CGs be uploaded per my previous announcement. This is a fan translation only, so please expect grammatical errors and lack of nuance. While I appreciate your support and welcome re-blogs, please do not repost my translations elsewhere. Thank you for you support! ☾.

I got involved in Roger's egoistical cursed research.

Ellis: Huh? Why is Jude me?

Jude: That's my line. Why’re ya me?

I was asked to watch over Jude and Ellis, who had switched places.

(As a fairytale keeper, I wanted to watch over them until the end.)

(......But I want to watch over them anymore.)

Jude: ………

(Jude in the form of Ellis is in an even worse mood than usual!)

Child Passing By: Mum, there’s a demon.

Mother Passing By: Hey. It’s dangerous so don’t go near him……

(Ellis' face is so handsome, but when he’s irritated, it's very powerful.)

(Ugh, I miss the usual gentle Ellis.)

Kate: Kate, this gelato I just bought is delicious.

Kate: Ah, yes. It has a rich flavor, yet it's not too sweet.

Jude: Lickin’ ’n lickin’ while workin’. Are ya dogs.

Ellis: Dogs don't eat gelato, right?

Jude: So, ya eat sweets in another’s body.

Jude takes a cigarette out of his pocket and puts it in his mouth with a natural gesture.

Kate: Oh, Jude, you can't smoke. That’s Ellis' body!

Kate: Besides, if you smoke it, you'll end up choking again.

Jude: ….Tch.

The reason we’re on the platform at Paddington Station, is because we’re on an important mission for Crown.

Actually, the two of them were planning to work at Jude's company as usual.

[Screen shows a pic of Jude in Ellis’ body.]

Jude: Yer in breach of the contract ya piece of shit…….I’ll show ya hell.

[Show a pic of in Ellis’ body.]

Ellis: Are you okay? Shall I make you happy?

(They stopped so that the people at the company who knew the two well wouldn't get confused.)

The two are now on Crown duty, while Victor and Harrison are at Jude's company posing as friends.

(I have to keep an eye on the two of them and keep up with my assignment!)

Kate: …..Still, the target doesn’t seem to have shown up.

Today's target is the capture and decimation of members of a corrupt business association who are committing theft in the country.

A man believed to be the main suspect was recently arrested by police but escaped from jail.

The Crown received word that he was planning to flee the country.

(The main culprit has a bad leg and limps. I have to make sure I don't miss him.)

Ellis: Kate, I'll give you my berry flavor, too. Okay, ahhh.

Kate: Ahhh.

Kate: Mmm….it’s delicious.

Ellis: Right? We don't know when the target will appear, so let’s just take it easy.

Kate: ……Thank you.

(…….When Jude treats me kindly, the gap is shocking.)

Jude: Oi, Ellis. Don’t do gross things with other people’s faces.

Jude: What’re ya up to?

Kate: I’m not up to anything.

Kate: It's just... it's refreshing and nice to be treated kindly……by you Jude.

Jude: Ha, don’t lie.

Jude’ lips in Ellis’ form twisted cruelly as I was grabbed by my chin.

Jude: Yer a masochistic pervert who needs to be tormented to get excited.

Kate: That, that’s not true……Please don’t treat me like a pervert!

Jude: Doubt that.

(I can never say I’m excited.)

While I was secretly excited, Ellis lifted himself off the bench.

Kate: Are you going somewhere, Ellis?

Ellis: I thought I'd get you something warm to drink.

Ellis: You must have gotten cold from eating gelato, Kate.

Ellis: Ah.

Jude: ……Didja see the target?

Ellis: No. When I stood up, I was just a little surprised that my gaze was lower than usual.

Ellis: Jude, you’re so short.

Jude: ….Ha?

Kate: ….He-hehee.

Jude: It's not that I'm short, it's just that yer a big guy.

Jude: Why’re ya laughin’, too? I'll knock yer head ‘round ‘n make ya shorter!

Kate: I’m sorry. It’s just sometimes you can learn something new when you change things up.

Jude: That’s damned useless information.

Ellis: I'm enjoying being Jude, though.

Jude: Shuddup.

Jude: Yer fluffy conversations are drivin’ me crazy.

At that moment, Jude’s gaze, which was clad in Ellis’ twilight color, were filled with sharpness.

Jude: ……..

Kate: Jude? No way….

Jude: There he is, that guy with the limp.

Jude: It'll be troublesome if he leaves the country. Follow him.

Kate: Ha, …..on it!

We board the train and pursue our target, weaving through the passengers.

Just as I stepped into the last row of the empty cargo area.

Main Culprit: Thanks for following along.........You guys, surround them.

As if on cue, several men jump out from the shadows of the seats and surround us.

(…….we’re surrounded.)

(I had no idea his friends were on board too.)

Jude: Yer very gracious to welcome us. Thanks.

Main Culprit: I knew the coppers were after us. I let you come, so I could get revenge.

(They think we’re the police.)

(Whatever it is, it means they were reading our moves.)

As we stare at each other, our feet shake and the train begins to move.

Main Culprit: We can throw your bodies out of the train and into the river, and there won't be a single piece of evidence left behind.

Main Culprit: It would be the perfect place to die. Go ahead, kill them.

Ellis: …..Kate, stay here so you don’t get hurt.

Kate: Yes….

Ellis tried to jump up as easily as usual, but wasn’t able to do so.

Ellis: Oh, whoa.

Ellis, who’s still in Jude’s form, lost his balance and fell on the spot.

Isla: Huh, Ellis….?

Ellis: Surprising. That’s right, I’m Jude.

(Oh, because his body is different than usual!)

Jude: What’re ya waitin’ for?

Jude:….Damn, what’re these uselessly long legs. They’re difficult......

Main Culprit: I thought you were an elite group, but you’re just a bunch of small fry.

Main Culprit: Take care of them kindly in “moderation”.

Ellis: ....... Hmmm, Jude has strong legs.

Ellis: I'm starting to get the hang of it.

Ellis: ……..Like this.

Ellis’ raised leg strikes into the jaw of the main culprit’s subordinates.

Subordinate: Gah……

(Wow, that's amazing...)

Kate: Oh, Jude, behind you!

Jude: I can see ‘em without ya tellin’ me.

Jude, using Ellis’ body, flew through the air and touched their heads one after another.

Subordinate: Whoa our hands are stuck together! They won’t separate. What is this……

All the men knelt on the spot in a prayer pose..

Jude: I can barely breathe in this body….I hate it.

Ellis: I wanted to use Jude's ability to put them to sleep.

Jude: Ya can't torture ‘em if they’re asleep.

Main Culprit: Hic…..

Jude: …..Let’s make a deal.

Jude: Right to left, James Spencer, Simon Harris, Oscar Perry.

Main Culprit: ……How did you know our names?

Ellis: The names of business partners, family members….he says it's basic to know everything.

Jude: Didntcha guys anonymously transfer the money ya stole to orphanages all over the UK?

(What…..?)

Jude: I did some research ‘n found out that ya ‘n all the other members of the vice society came from the same orphanage.

Jude: Yer all in on it, stealing money from the crooks ‘n usin’ it to give to poor children.

Main Culprit: ……yes.

(You mean he was committing evil and helping people?)

Jude: How admirable, tear jerkin’, think I’d overlook it.

Jude: —What can I say idiot. Yer tears ain’t an excuse.

Whatever the motive, evil is evil.

The fact that once you have been involved in evil, it will never go away.

Jude: I'll letcha choose. Either you’ll be sold abroad, or you’ll be forced to work in a coal mine until your last breath?

Jude: Do you wanna stay alive, be my slave ‘n work for the rest of yerr life?……..Whaddya choose?

Main Culprit: I thought you guys were the coppers……

Ellis: Is that relevant now? He’s asking if you want to die or live.

Main Culprit: ……

Main Culprit: Please just save my life. Please......!

Jude: The slave contract is complete. Congratulations on yer lifetime employment.

Jude: Remember, a promise is a promise…..If ya break it, I'll give ya hell, so much so, that you’d wish ya were dead.

We boarded the turnaround and made it back to Paddington Station without incident.

Kate: ……that was still surprising.

Kate: Jude you wanted them as part of your company's workforce from the start, and Ellis understood that.

Jude: What’s with those eyes? Ya act like I helped somebody.

Jude: I was forced to do a mission that wasn't planned, ‘n I got something out of it.

Ellis: I think it's okay as long as Jude and Kate are happy.

Kate: I….will work even harder as a fairytale keeper!

Jude: Fuwaha, that useless guts argument. That's all ya do.

Ellis: You’re a hard worker Kate, I like that.

(Oh, that’s.......?)

Ellis: What's wrong, Kate?

Kate: Um...even though you look different, for a moment both looked like you usually do.

Jude & Ellis: ……….

Kate: Jude is still Jude and Ellis is still Ellis, no matter what you both look like.

Kate: But ...…..I kind of want to see the two of you as usual.

Jude: I knew ya were a pervert who wanted to be tortured.

Kate: What, that’s not true!

Ellis: Shall I tease you? I've never done it before, but maybe I can?

Kate: ……Please stop teasing me Ellis.

Ellis: Hehe, sorry.

Jude: Let’s switch back quickly. It's about time that quack finished the medicine.

When we returned to the castle, Roger had successfully completed the antidote.

After drinking it, Jude and Ellis safely return to their normal forms and the matter settled.

Or, it should’ve been -

Kate: I am so glad you’re back to being whole!

Kate: Hey, Ellis. What's with the wine and book in your hand?

Ellis: Victor and Harry went to work for us. Thanks for that.

Ellis: So, I picked the wine, and Jude picked the book.

Jude: It’s just a matter of amassin’ debt.

Kate: Hehe, that's right. Because “nothing is more expensive than free”.

Jude: What's with that grin on your face? It’s stupid.

Ellis: Should l I call Victor and Harry?

Victor: That’s not necessary, for Victor has come even before he was called!

Kate: Harrison……?

Kate:  .......What's going on? You sound like Victor.

Jude: Have ya finally gone nuts after bein’ smeared in all those filthy lies.

Ellis: Harry is kind, so I wonder if he forced himself...

Victor: ?? What are you talking about?

Victor: No matter how you look at it, it's your dearly loved Queen's aide Victor, isn't it?

Ellis: …….Harry.

Jude: Imitatin’ someone you hate is unpleasant, condolences.

Kate: Very......, -you need to get yourself to the hospital as soon as possible!

Harrison: ……I finally found you.

Kate: …..Victor?

Victor grabbed Harrison's chest with a look of anger on his face that he had never seen before.

Kate & Ellis: !

Victor: Oh.….I'm right in front of me. Why?

Harrison: ……Haven’t you noticed? Look at your reflection in the window.

Victor: Wow, I became you Harrison?

Victor: C-CUUUTE~~! Your hair is so smooth! And the tear mole is cute! 😭 LMFAO

Harrison: Don't touch my body!

Kate: Um, wait a minute.

(Harrison is Victor and Victor is Harrison.)

Kate: Does that mean ...…..the two of you swapped places!

Harrison: Aaah.

Harrison: Victor .……You're the one who got us into this mess, aren't you?

Victor: It wasn’t me! If I were the culprit, I'd probably notice the switch right away, right?

Harrison: …..That’s right.

Ellis: Oh.…on there’s needle marks on Victor’s and Harry’s arms.

Harrison: Someone drugged us with a syringe while we slept.

Victor: Judging from the brilliant puncture work, I'd say there's only one suspect.

Harrison: Roger! That egoistical bastard.….He used us as test subjects for an experiment, didn’t he?

Victor: Wow, Roger’s so passionate about research.

Victor: Ah, Kate. Would you mind telling me a little lie?

Kate: What? Well, I hate you Victor.

Victor: Yes, it's a lie! Wow, I can see them like this, that's amazing.

Harrison: Don't get excited, old man!

Ellis: ...Hehe, it looks like fun.

Ellis: Hey, Jude. Shall we switch places again?

Jude: Ain’t happenin’, I’ll never do that again.

…..To be continued?

[Master List]

If you'd like to be added to my translations tags list for current event translations, please comment or DM me.

[peachyfnaf]

I'm sorry but "MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER<3" really made my day and I needed you to know

🤣🤣🤣

I can't believe Nexus is bullying peepaw war criminal.

Do you think Nexus is going to be stopped by big bro Sun or do you think the lil guy is going beyond the point of no return?

(Please talk about baby cringe Lord Nexus, I want to hear about your blorbo 🙏)

That's because Nexus IS my beautiful princess with a disorder, I'll have you know <3 they're diseased but it's okay I can give them their tetanus and flu shots and it'll all be better I GOT THIS

But. ahem, okay, blorbo yapping time. I'm not even gonna say "I'll try to keep this short" because I know it wont end up that way HAHAHAHAHA

"Do you think Nexus is going to be stopped by big bro Sun or do you think the lil guy is going beyond the point of no return?"

I... have absolutely no idea!!!1! (and also it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize peepaw war criminal was Ruin KJDFHSDF)

The most frustrating thing about canon Nexus is how his morals, motivations, and goals seem to see-saw back and forth all the time. at first, he became how he is now due to Solar's death. he spiraled in his grief, identity-issues, and abandonment. but... now his motivation is to become an all powerful god??? while it's most likely that NSP is at play and affecting his thought process, it's... well, it's really hard to take him seriously as a villain because of it, lol. for an audience to enjoy, and even sympathize in some cases, with a villain, their goals and motivations have to be concrete. they have to be relatable, or at least understandable, but Nexus' whole thing is... not, Imho. and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way!!!

I see a lot of people calling Nexus "cringe", and the thing is, when it comes to canon Nexus, they're not really... wrong??? The worst thing Nexus has done so far is make Old Moon see his past victims, which is fucked up of him to do, but.. so far, that's kind of it??? other than that, his "villainy" consists of saying empty threats and cheesy evil one-liners. hell, he was supposed to kidnap Sun yesterday but instead spent the whole episode yapping and venting to him, chasing Sun around in the worlds darkest game of tag before getting some lead right in the face dkfjhsdfsd

Also, notice how he's only targeted Old Moon when it comes to actual physical violence? not Lunar, Earth, Solar, or Sun, but Old Moon? yeah, I did too. we already know that Nexus does everything because he's lashing out, but as of rn the only target he's gotten his hands on physically being O.M...? well. I think it says a lot. cause' yeah, he sure as shit scared the life out of the other Celestials, but he's never put his hands on them!! the only other one of them he harmed physically was Earth- and not only was he not aiming for her, she was just in the way- he felt immediate regret for his actions once in space, and has yet to even see Earth ever since that day.

So, I really have no idea if he's going to be "redeemed" or not. one second he's showing signs he might be, and the next he's falling further down the "pretty badly written villain" rabbit-hole. if he does get something akin to a redemption arc, he'll prolly mostly be accepted in the eyes of the viewers, considering a lot of peeps sympathize or at least understand where he's coming from, but I seriously doubt the other Celestials would take him back. the only one's who might see him as family/a close friend again are Sun and Solar, but even then, nothing would ever be the same.

I hope he gets redeemed, or at least freed from the hold Dark Sun has on him and he's able to live his own life, I really do. at his core, Nexus is a good person. a good person who was crushed under the weight of the shadow of the man he was born under. and we know this because he used to be New Moon. sweet, dorky New Moon.

New Moon, who made inventions like sentient knives and whoopee cushions. New Moon, who had matching My Little Pony stickers with his best friend. New Moon, who bought a whole ass island-luxury-house for Sun because he wanted to make him feel better and give him the proper space to heal. and New Moon- the poor freshly-baked A.I who gave his all to make sure he could do everything that Old Moon could, but it just wasn't enough. he tried and tried and tried, but it wasn't enough.

So yeah, idk if he's getting one in canon, but to me, he more than deserves a good ending, for the life he was given. let him be at peace.

[l0stfoster]

Paul anon here, im literally in fucking tears by these doodles like . Im so . Skgskshdjhdbd AH. The socs choking Paul bc they dont know how his power works makes so much sense but is also like , SO sad . And Soda showing up during the jumping is crazy and Umbra my beloved you are the best character in this .

Darry calling Paul his pretty boy im gonna mmfnshhdvd i actually had to put my phone down and the RINGGSGSSS IM ACTUALLY SOO pony being a good brother reluctantly is soo funny and special to me actually . And paul using the last bit of money he had saved to buy that ring for darry is so ,, what a simp, i love him so bad . that had me in tears i love cursed!parry so much

And the powers beinf tied to his lifeforce ,, we’re gonna pray to god he never tries a ritual again or imma rock his shit lovingly <3

Im so obsessed with this au actually and it is constantly in my brain good job please never split parry up or i will sue 🫶🫶

Paul anon you match my freak™️ because we’re both insane for Cursed Paul. The writers appreciate every time you pop up because I storm over to our discord server and smack down a screenshot like it’s murder trial evidence and I'm an android detective (/ref) it’s great. Paul's jumping sucks extra for him because in the way I've gone about it is that the ones who jumped him were arguably the socs he was closest with; they took his sudden shift to bond with the greasers as an utter insult. Started a little writing thing about it but I'm not sure if I'll finish it, was mostly for my own visualization.

Paul got SO lucky that Soda showed, though it's likely that absolutely anyone would've followed after Umbra as well. Poor Soda absolutely PANICKED after the socs were gone, though. He had no idea if Paul was even still alive. (Fun Fact! In parallel to Two's jumping and how he mistook Dally for a soc when he was found, Paul assumed the same with Soda. Instead of lashing out against him, he tried to use his magic to get Umbra to run </3 Thought she was in danger by being there.) Even with his newfound scars and the ones he already had (ritual scars beloathed) he always be Darry's pretty boy. He loves his man, do NOT separate them. It certainly wasn't the last of his money but it sure as hell WAS the majority of the money he'd been making ('cause like I said, he does eventually end up finding work to help w/ bills). He's so down bad, Paul would do so much for Darry and it's my favorite thing ever. They get to be healthy.. or, as healthy as an unstable fae and human in a gay relationship during the 60's can be?? Seems like you might have to rock his shit.. Paul doesn't know that very important fact; but he is VERY intent on freeing himself (and assumedly, whatever upcoming generations of Tulsa) from this curse. Poor Darry has to witness the outcome. Aaand don't worry, Parry will never split (save for their pre-book falling out {and when I draw non-canon Darbit} ) so don't sue me I'm poor /silly

[hystericfae]

I regret to inform you all that I've fallen into the hole. I am watching an anime that is both romantic AND comedy

[blusandbirds]

eli moskowitz - "am i making you feel sick?"

[cowardlykrow]

After Cyn's done tryna kill him, she'll eventually relent and they can get to work... whatever that is. I didn't do the outfit any justice, but the second i saw the Cowboy!Curt mega @ricky-mortis made i was literally like, "yes, that is IT."

This is, in my heart, a cannon fit for this au

[ratwithhands]

Fun fact I used to consume a lot of Land of the Lustrous stuff.

Anyways this is one of my many Land of the Lustrous OCs, Vivianite. Mohs hardness of 1.5, dark green/blue in colour, and very old. Due to the nature of his weak composition, Vivianite can't actually do much of anything, and has had to live under very specific conditions.

Vivianite wears a tight full body uniform to hold any chipped pieces in place, and is kept in a box stuffed with loose cloth to ensure minimal damage. If he comes into contact with light, he begins to oxidize and darken, so he's kept in a windowless room with curtains over the entrance.

That's all to say he's isolated and bored. He spends much of his time inactive, but he'll jump at the opportunity for conversation if there's someone around. Certain gems visit him to chat, get guidance, or give him the recent news. A task given to some gems is to clear his room of dust, and maybe bring him some books if he's up for it.

Vivian sees himself as an older sibling/friend to many of the other gems, and as such he's very keen on providing a listening ear and giving advice where possible to those who need it. He's essentially emotional support in a can.

Other notes/details:

not all gems know Vivian exists! He's hidden away so most gems wouldn't see him unless they were actively looking for him. A lot of the older ones know about him, but the younger ones don't

Rutile is endlessly tired of having to glue him back together so often due to his softness, which is part of why he has a tighter uniform to keep all his broken pieces in place

Vivian struggles with walking, he tends to be slow and stumbly

the tanks in Vivian's room are for jellyfish. Gems who are sent to clean his room have to switch out the jellyfish too. They're there to provide a faint light source so he doesn't go completely inactive

Vivian, despite living in a box in the dark, has a lot of technical knowledge about things as a result of millennia of going through the library collection. He' a living encyclopedia and can usually offer some answers if a gem has questions on a particular subject

his internal structure is basically a lot of shards stuck together like fibers, so he does minor repairs on himself by affixing strands of his hair into empty spots. He's had his fingers repaired and replaced this way often

In the few instances where Vivian has gone outside, he has an abnormally high amount of energy as a result of his inclusions being able to work at full capacity in the light

If I remember anything else I'll add it, anyways have a good day!

[esaari]

honk

[toasteaa]

It's 11 pm, I haven't finished their chart, but idc take their sketch because I think they're cute

[transmechanicus]

I get a little indignant when i look up the lyrics for a song that has very straightforward and understandable meaning to anyone who has experienced a modicum of emotional pain in their life and there are websites like "Song Lyrics Explained" like ohhh some people have never had their heart broken I see.

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

So uh, do you guys ever think about how Tenko grew up with a man who had the capacity to take away his Quirk - the thing that ruined his life, took away his family - yet seemingly never once took his? That was probably a way to make him internalize he truly wished for destruction the moment he was born?

And Tenko probably questioned it but never dared ask because he was the one who accepted him, and sure he gives you a sinking feeling in your guts to the point you scratch your neck at the mere idea of talking to him (when was the last time you've had a doctor's consult? Or a simple ointment to relieve the pain? Isn't he friends with a doctor?), but he picked you up from the streets (because you don't deserve gentle touches when you're followed by the dust of death. your name is defined by it how do you know the name of that kid who wanted to be a hero) he gave you a place to stay (because your home was based on silent rejections and lies on the very ground you decayed), he accepted you even though you're only an individual born for destruction (and so is the crafted garden you're rooted on, but you could've thrived in another garden, another life.)

And maybe, you're just ungrateful. Your sensei is the only one who can understand the lonely traces of death that follows you, unnervingly so. Even though he's the one who can take that away from you with a mere touch.

(just like you can. just like you did. why can't you feel joy with that? you were born in from for destruction.)

(you could decay your allies with one single touch. they're irrelevant to your goals. why does your heart stop you from fulfilling that now? you had it in you back then. it never mattered before.)

(you tried to help someone ungrateful, once. he was killed by his your hand. they've helped him. why weren't you offered the same?)

(isn't this why you reject the hand that wants to save you? you could've killed him. and he still held your hands. the denied reality you had since you were a child.)

(do you still want to be a hero, shimura tenko?)

(... why can't you start now?)

But then again, how do you know you deserved better when you were nothing but a puppet- and now, with his goals destroyed, a very useless one?

Just thinking about Shimura Tenko.

[hirazuki]

Re: Naruto characters I dislike -- under the cut! :)

The thing with Danzo and Tobirama is that, I get it. I might not agree with it, at all, but I get where they're coming from and, honestly, I am very much self-aware enough that, if I had lived through their same experiences, I can't say for sure that I would have done any different. Did they do terrible things? Absolutely. But, again, I can't proclaim with surety that I'd be any better. Like, I can sit here from my current seat and judge them, but experiences color perception and I'm just as susceptible to bias as everyone else is. Who knows what my outlook would be had I lived through the First and/or Second War.

The thing with Rasa and Chiyo is that, there is some resolution. It's definitely too little, too late, especially in Rasa's case, but there is growth and admittance of fault there so that, even if I don't actually like either character, the character development present in the storyline (particularly for Chiyo!) is such that it somewhat cancels my dislike out, leaving me with largely neutral feelings. I did used to have stronger feelings against them, but I suppose it's true that you mellow out with age lmao

The thing with Hiruzen and Hagoromo and Fugaku is that I neither get it, nor is there any character development or admittance/recognition of fault on their part XD

[boyfriendyke]

there r a lot of things about the myth of psyche and eros that makes me a little insane but one of them has always been the tasks from aphrodite and the unfairness of it. they're not intended to be possible. they're so obviously not meant to be possible, and psyche isn't fucking hercules, you know, she's not a demigod or whatever, she's mortal and these aren't mortal tasks!! it's why psyche has to be helped with each one, fucking by like ants and river gods and shit. and so like. idk. i know ppl see psyche and eros as like a story about love and shit which obviously it is but as a kid psyche and eros always felt like a story about being able to accept help